Watch What Crappens - #2703  RHOSLC S5E17: Against All Todds - Live from SD

Episode Date: January 26, 2025

The first Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion episode continues! We bring the recap to San Diego as we delve into Braunwyn and Lisa’s crumbling friendship, Todd’s grumpy mood, ...and some dark stuff about Gwen. Needless to say, Ronnie is not a happy camper!To listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watch her crap and add free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondry app. What happens when there's so much that happens. Oppa! Oppa!
Starting point is 00:01:06 Oppa! Oppa! Whoa, hello San Diego! Hello! How are you guys? Looking good out there. Looking good! Do you like our plant work?
Starting point is 00:01:22 I know! We grew these ourselves. We've been waiting two years to debut them. They're beautiful. We're nature bitches. Yeah. These plants are mother. Icon mother.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Mother ficus. Honestly more interesting than Roni, let's be honest. We found the perfect reboot cast for Rodney. I know. Hi, everyone. So nice to be back in San Diego for our birthday. Look at all the gorgeousness out there. I've got friends here.
Starting point is 00:02:01 I've got Brian. Hi. Hi, friends. Hi, friends. Thanks for friends here. I've got Brian. Hi. Alex, hi friends. Hi friends. Thanks for being here. So we did the first half of the Salt Lake City reunion yesterday.
Starting point is 00:02:12 So today we're gonna do the second half because you know we need to talk about this for 10 hours. Yes. Yes. But first we wanted to start with some Bravo stuff. She's been going on in the Bravo world. You know, Ramona Singer, I don't know if she's hurting for money or what's wrong with this
Starting point is 00:02:29 lady, but she at so much somebody said yes. Ramona sold her Twitter to the CEO of Blackrock. Blackrock? Blackstone or Blackrock? There's an evil one, Blackwater. Blackwater is evil. Blackrock is just standard meh, maybe not the best. But they're probably fine. I don't know. I'm turning into Bethany. I don't know. Maybe they're good.
Starting point is 00:02:53 I don't know. What's the matter? What's happening? They're an investment company. What's the deal? So Blackrock is an investment company, whatever. And the CEO is named Larry Fink. And someone, I think maybe it was Yolanda Pfister, or maybe someone
Starting point is 00:03:06 noticed that they were following, for some reason, the CEO of BlackRock. Why would you suddenly be following them? I like to think it's Blackstone, though, or Blackwater. Who's the one that's hired the private armies to go into Afghanistan and stuff? Dick Cheney. I like to think it's that. It could be that. You know what? You better watch out, Afghanistan. I like to think it's that. You know what? You better watch out, Afghanistan.
Starting point is 00:03:26 I'm coming for you, bitch. You know what? I sold my Twitter to the Taliban, okay? Thin. Sorry. Sorry, okay. But beyond Ramona being a dingbat, what the fuck is wrong with us as Bravo fans that we're
Starting point is 00:03:45 still scrolling through Ramona's Twitter that deeply that we realize that months ago this guy's account was Ramona's account. So what's funny, the reason why we're bringing this up is because this guy Larry Fink bought Ramona's feed but then just started adding to it as Larry Fink, but didn't get rid of the backlog. So- You got to clean the account, Larry. So the first-
Starting point is 00:04:11 How are you the CEO of things? You know Larry has an AOL account. You know he does. So the first few posts are very corporate CEO. Here's a re-gram that says, oh, the stock picker's guide to 2025. Here's some news. And another thing is long-term bond yields have jumped as markets are priced out
Starting point is 00:04:28 of central bank rate cuts. And oh, surging bond yields around the globe represent a big shift in what's going on with investment funds, et cetera. You know what? Here's how to make a vodka soda, okay? It's my own recipe. You get a glass, you put some ice in it,
Starting point is 00:04:49 then you put some vodka in it, then you put some soda in it. That's my favorite Ramona video of all time. It literally transitions from a tweet that says, Rob Goldstein recently joined Julie Siegel for an episode of The Little Mugs, a conversation about Black Rock's journey over the past 30 years, and the next tweet is like,
Starting point is 00:05:07 so excited for the launch of Turtle Time with Ramona and Avery. We get into the details of reality TV, dating and what we're up to now. Which is really funny if you just imagine Avery is hosting a podcast with Larry Fink of Black Rock talking called Turtle Time. It goes so far back one of them's like, you bitch Luan, I don't know why you think you
Starting point is 00:05:30 can talk to me like that. It's like Larry. But then there's also imagine if it was really just Ramona trying on a new persona. She's like, whoa, everyone stocks and bonds, okay? It's a bear market. Take your money at the stocks and put it into bonds, okay? It's a bear market. Take your money out the stocks and put it into bonds, okay? I never noticed Ramona's Twitter patter was always like, because you know, in real life on the show,
Starting point is 00:05:54 in the real life on the show, you know what I mean. She'd be like, let's face it, like she would say that a lot. Or, I'm sorry, but her Twitter patter is nothing like, nothing like just hanging with a girlfriend and laughing. Okay? Nothing like the fall. Nothing like the sunset, Saratoga Beach. Okay?
Starting point is 00:06:18 I like this one. Again, it says Larry Fink is a tweet, and then time flies, but memories last forever. And it's like, it's a photoink is a tweet and then time flies but memories last forever and it's like It's a photo of season one Rony. Like I just love I love that. He's sending out photos of Alex McCord to like, you know You know the board Turns out there were other there were other CEOs that did the same thing So I was actually looking at Bill Gates's feed and so the first few are like normal it's like hey thank you for your warm welcome to my visit to Ethiopia I'm inspired by your like insightful
Starting point is 00:06:52 decisions on Ethiopia's development progress but then the very next tweet is like Cabaret is back baby! I've never found a people with a better diet. Thank you so much for everything you've given us. Love you, love for sale. I was trying to remember Luanne's song from our recast. Love for sale. Humding and rabbit love for sale. The first JP Morgan, if you go on the JP Morgan official site, the first tweet says, reports 4Q24 net income of $14 billion in EPS of 4.0.
Starting point is 00:07:30 I mean, it's so financial. And then the very next tweet is like, you better back it up, bitch. I wanted to say something about the stock market. Sometimes you can see things, sometimes you can't. Sometimes it's very messy. I wanted to say something about the stock market. Sometimes you put your money in, sometimes you get it out, sometimes it's dry market. Sometimes it's the way America does it. You gotta f**k it up, man.
Starting point is 00:07:55 The way you invest in the markets, you know, is you write it, regret it, invest it, forget it. I'm not texting, I'm going through our notes on the phone. I'm just sitting up here on my phone. Hi mom. Sorry I didn't text you back today. So let's see, this other thing, Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval. This is good guys. Isn't it his karma just to show up with pit stains down to his love handles? I know. Who here is watching the traitors? Who's watching the
Starting point is 00:08:33 traitors, right? Okay, we're not going to do any spoilers, but like first of all. They've all been murdered. The most inept traitors of all time. But however, all I want right now, I just... An Alan outfit. He's like, hello, welcome to the traitors. All I've been saying all day long is, Bob the Drake Queen. Bob, Bob the Drake Queen said... What's wrong with that lady? I love that lady, Carolyn.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Like, why? drag queen said. What's wrong with that lady? I love that lady, Carolyn. Why? I feel like there be truth in me. She's like Bobcat, Goldthwaite, swallow the frog. I love that chick. I thought Rob was the problem and now I am the loss. I just want to hear her do like the Pledge of Allegiance. Like, I believe in you. Like, did you do heroin in your in your throat?
Starting point is 00:09:31 So like, where did you do it? Where were you sticking that needle? Bob the Drag Queen said had had there was something on Twitter today where he was talking about being on the set of The Traders and how he went up to Carolyn and said, well, you know, you and I don't have kids. And Carolyn said, my son is dead. And he was horrified and mortified. And he was like, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:09:56 And he started to cry. He was like, I was so triggered. Yeah, and he was like, he was so upset. So he was like, oh my God, I feel like such an asshole. So we went up to Dolores and Dolores says, no, she said, my son, my son is 10. I'm just imagining how that all played out. It was so dark.
Starting point is 00:10:16 But it's how she said it too, cause you know she's like, actually my son is 10. I'm like, what? My son is 10. You're like, what? My son is dead. You're like, oh my god, sorry. Damn. So anyway, Tom Sandoval.
Starting point is 00:10:34 So one of the greatest images of this season of The Traders is Tom Sandoval standing at breakfast with enormous pit stains. So he has finally something to say about it. Well, I was in the mercy of the wardrobe department, dude. Which, by the way, they did a great job. You can't say that right after you blamed them for everything in your life, Tom. That day they gave me the thickest wool sweater I've ever worn.
Starting point is 00:11:04 And man, that thing, I was sweating my ass off. It was on there. I'm only human. I was like, did you just get caught cheating on your girlfriend again? Like, why are you whipping that one out? I'm only human, dude. But it turns out there was a lot more to the story behind those pit stains. He says, man, dude, in that video, I looked like rough.
Starting point is 00:11:25 I also felt like shit. I mean, I just had over 24 hours of travel, including an eight-over layover, which made my immune system go to shit and cause domino problems. And also, Ariana didn't want to have sex with me. You had to stop doing coke for two days, Tom. Been there, okay?
Starting point is 00:11:46 Just sweat it out for a week first and then join us when you're done, Jesus Christ. There was a peacock in that house. He snorted it. He's trying to come back out. Tom's hand of all on the Traders is hilarious because he's already so wigged out in a non-Traders environment.
Starting point is 00:12:02 So now putting him in his space of accusations, literally he's behind so wigged out in a non-traders environment. So like now putting him into space accusations like literally he's like behind every corner like And it's always some woman who's the who's the trader have you noticed everybody's come up with these like it's Chris shell Why she's a bitch? Why? She's a bitch. I'm like, I'm really sorry, but I read energies really well and I really am sorry. I'm like, okay, come on, Chris. Every time they cut to Tom Sandoval, this is his face. Poor Rob.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Well, I'm not going to say anymore. I'm not going to say anymore. You'll spoil it. I'm not spoiling anything. I'm just saying congrats to Robin on a nice reminder that there is a personality in there. So my favorite character from The Traders who got kicked off immediately, of course, spoiler alert, I mean that's in the beginning, so sorry. If you're not caught up, it's your bad.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Was Chanel from Real Housewives of Dubai. She got kicked off, which was so sad because she's been so funny in all the interviews after she's been kicked off. In this one, the traitor Chanel Ayaan didn't know what survivor was. She thought that castmates battled illness and drought. This is her quote. I've survived malaria, typhoid, Ebola, a drought, like everything. So I was like what have you survived? This is a true quote. And then Derek said, I lost 40 pounds. Basic! Basic!
Starting point is 00:13:53 Oh, my goodness. I love Chanel. And for next season, I demand that Chanel and Dorinda are immediately reinstated on the show. Immediately. Bring Chanel somewhere else. season I demand that Chanel and Dorinda are immediately reinstated on the show. Immediately. Bring Chanel somewhere else. She'll do, she'll do, she'll come to some other stuff. Put her on Roni. Let her take care of those ladies. Honestly, let her take care of Erin. Yeah. Chanel on Roni would be a dream. So. Aren't you ready to get in? Yeah, you want to do the opening? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, are you guys ready? I'm like the welcome dream. Oh, yeah, why you wanted the opening? Yeah, let's do it. Are you guys ready?
Starting point is 00:14:27 Welcome to... Oh yeah. Welcome to... Well, they know they're a Watch What Crappens. We've been out here 15 minutes. Hello, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your brahms. All right. So here we go. It's a big one you guys. Also, husbands, shut up. I don't care. Okay. Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. Stop your bitching. Okay. Your wife owes you nothing for this. I'm kidding. There are actually some hot husbands. I'm sorry. That's how I'm abusive to hot people. So this gets dark, as many episodes do.
Starting point is 00:15:08 You'll survive it. OK? It'll be OK. We're just kidding. We're going to try not to make fun of terrible things. But we did do the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode when they went to the Holocaust Museum and a comedy club.
Starting point is 00:15:19 And it worked out great. Yeah. And we just recapped Roni this week, so you know. So just come along for the ride. Have fun. You're not saying it, so you can laugh. No one will judge you if you laugh. You're not going to hell.
Starting point is 00:15:33 We're going to hell. All right, so previously on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Reunion Part 1A, A log said that I got my jewelry from Ali. And I said, wait a minute. Something's fishy here. And then I took a tuna fish sandwich out of my glove compartment and I threw it away. There was a story in a log. Lisa Barlow has a fireplace.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Lisa must be talking to logs. Whitney, it was a blog, not a log. Stop accusing me of being a horrible person. My son is in Bogota. Do you know how hard it is to get a haircut in Bogota? He has to go to supercuts in Spanish. Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:16:32 Let me tell you, when I told America that your jewelry was aluminum dog poop and bought from China, I was just trying to help you. Sometimes in life, we talk to friends. Sometimes in life, we talk to family. Sometimes in life, we talk to logs. But the point is, friendship is like proof. Friendship is like screenshots. Friendship is like screenshots. Friendship is like timeline.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Friendship is like receipts. I am Greek. Meredith called me a backup dancer for Jensha. You were a backup dancer for Jensha. You were a backup dancer. You were a backup dancer for Jensha's WAP video. I am a solo artist. I am nobody's backup video baby. You were literally dancing backup for WAP.
Starting point is 00:17:41 I don't even know what a WAP is. It's my new MLM with Justin. White ass people. Guys, guys, guys, WAP stands for Wendy's Arby's Popeyes. It stands for W-C-E-T-S-A-R-P, timeline. It stands for w-s-e-t-s. A-ah. Timeline. Angie, you are a backup dancer, and I'm going to prove it, okay?
Starting point is 00:18:12 Uh-uh. If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it. If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it. If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it. Uh-uh-uh. Damn it! You got me that time Meredith. I'm seen. I'm seen.
Starting point is 00:18:30 It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. UFO lands in Suffolk and that's official, said the News of the World. But what really happened across two nights in December 1980 when US servicemen saw mysterious lights in the forest near RAF Woodbridge and claimed to have had a close encounter with an actual craft? Encounters, a new podcast available exclusively on Wondery Plus, takes a deep dive into one of the most famous and still unresolved UFO encounters to ever take place in the UK.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Featuring shocking testimony from first-hand witnesses, hosts, journalist, podcaster and UFO researcher Andy McGillin, that's me, and producer Elle Scott take us back to the nights in question and examine all of the evidence and conflicting theories about what was encountered in the middle of a snowy Suffolk forest 40 years ago. Are we alone? Encounters is a podcast which is going to find out. Listen to Encounters exclusively and ad free on Wondry Plus. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or in Apple podcasts. Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys on this podcast we're gonna make some pics, talk some sh** and hopefully make you some money in the process.
Starting point is 00:19:46 I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's going to work, okay? We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like no offense. No offense, Travis Kelce, but you've got to step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably
Starting point is 00:20:15 bitter. Is it Brandon Iuke, T. Higgins, or Devonte Adams? Plus on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. All right, all right.
Starting point is 00:20:42 I want to move on. New housewife, Bronwyn Newport, may as well have walked into the group on a runway rocking the same heart-shaped coat owned by Rihanna. Ha, ha, ha. And whether she was decked out a couture or in a hot dog costume, she was never afraid to be Frank, because it's a hot dog, with old new friends. So let's catch up, and I hope you're all sitting on your buns, because we're gonna relish this clip package. We almost didn't show this package,
Starting point is 00:21:22 because it's put us in a real pickle. But here we go. So we see the package and it's Bronwyn's story. Walking into a restaurant in a bikini and boots in the dead of winter. And Lisa going, I met Bronwyn last at least seven years ago. Like, I don't know how many years. I've kind of known her. Maybe I've known her. Maybe I'm her best friend. Who knows? But you know what? She loves her fashion. So we see all the fashion.
Starting point is 00:21:53 We see all the clothes. And then we see that scene of Bronwyn kind of like making fun of Whitney where she's like, you want to see a healed Whitney? I mean, did you practice that in the mirror at home? Am I right? We're all girlfriends here, right? Right?
Starting point is 00:22:06 I feel very wary of people who have such harsh opinions of people that they've never even met. I was like, oh, girl, no. Just kidding. Don't sit at our table. I know. I know. I met Bronwyn, and she was just so sweet and supportive. And then we get Heather calling out Bronwyn being like,
Starting point is 00:22:28 wait a minute, I was with Whitney and you said you were supportive of her, but you were team fucking Lisa and you were saying horrible things about Whitney. That's it. No one shoot with her again. Call the FBI. So then we see Bronwyn, now Bronwyn and Heather, like Heather's come over to Bronwyn's house and Bronwyn's like, well, we're doing this big trip and I don't know if you and I are really in a place for you to come onto the trip right now. I'm just not really sure. I think like, you know, I will take accountability for the light things that I said and I need
Starting point is 00:23:03 you to take accountability. If you can't take the accountability, then I don't know if you can win the trip. As if it's not hurtful being disinvited from a trip. If that's not hurtful enough, you're being disinvited by a lady who looks like this in her earrings. For those listening at home, Ronnie is burying his face into a fake fern. Her earrings are like little monster arms just hanging off her ear all the way down to her shoulder. I think probably the biggest insult for Heather is her saying, I'm the star of this show and I'm being disinvited from the cast trip by a woman who has piles of dog shit all over
Starting point is 00:23:44 her ass. I know. Yeah. That's how it works. So, um... It's a metaphor. Bronwyn's like, yeah, I just don't know if it's the place for you to come. And Heather's like, what? And I'm here to sing for my supper? Fine! Bring in the choir! All these homely rejects in Salt Lake City like shuffle in. Away in a manger. All right, Chunk, leave.
Starting point is 00:24:12 You can't remember the lyrics, just go. That is so funny. She said that, I'm here to sing for my supper. It was like all over the season. And literally the only one who has made people literally sing on this show to get a place in something is Heather. I need that choir storyline back.
Starting point is 00:24:30 I heard that Heather was getting a spin-off of the Beauty Lab, which I can't imagine being great just because, I mean, I know that they're like, we're all into Mormons right now. And I guess like that's our thing, right? Like the secret lives of Mormon wives and sold on SLC. Yeah. We're like, oh, my God, the puritanical repression.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Delicious! I can't wait to watch. So titillating. And I watch them all, so I get it. I'm like, that guy is so repressed. I love it. I'd date him. But, um, Beauty Lab, I don't know. I haven't seen a lot of personality coming out of there.
Starting point is 00:25:06 I would like to see the choir, because those are the people in Salt Lake City to pop. Those are the people who got kicked out of like everywhere for everything. And it wasn't just for being gay. It was like for lots of reasons. It was like, that's the guy who can't play, stop playing with his weenus, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:19 like your elbow skin. He can't stop playing with his weenus at the bus stop. He got arrested. Heather's like, come to my choir. Follow them. Yeah, I fully support that as a spin-off. Heather's choir. They're just doing gigs at like the UPS store. So then we're like, overnight delivery. I'm sorry. We don't take that there you'll have to take it to Whole Foods instead fuck off UBS store I've had it with you. Sorry I went to a real Amazon spiral there.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Yeah. Give me ten options of where to return something Amazon. That's our boss. Okay so then we go to the hotdub scene on that couples trip that Heather got disinvited from. And Bronwyn's like, my earrings need to go to the bathroom. They're actually living. So I'll be right back, girls. I'll be right back. And she leaves and Lisa's like, oh my god, we should call Heather! Hi Heather, we miss you!
Starting point is 00:26:24 Cut to Bronwyn going, um, it was a little weird that I went to the bathroom and you guys called Heather. It was a little weird. She's, yeah, but it's because we missed her. We kind of like, we missed her more than we enjoy seeing you here presently. So you guys remember, remember when I said, remember just to prove that we missed her,
Starting point is 00:26:40 I was like, hey guys, remember, I was like, hi Heather, we miss you. Remember? Well really, Heather is talking shit for me about talking shit about someone else and I'm trying to fix it. Lisa, that's the kind of friend that you are? That's the kind of friend that you are, Lisa?
Starting point is 00:26:53 I don't wanna be involved, oh! Oh well when it's me and somebody else, it's my responsibility to work it out, but when it's you and somebody else, it's my responsibility to ride your dick like it's my job. It's a great moment. Great moment. All right. Let's start with the riding the dicks. Like it's your job. Today's bartender.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Gandy loves having boys that he's fucked as those bartenders. My God, I was watching it the other day and he's like, here's my trainer, Franz. And I was just like, Franz has had that wiener inside of him. That's all I could think the whole time. I was like, yes, Franz. I was trying to picture out like how it worked out on the couch. It'll be interesting to see who shows up as bartenders this week. So anyway, Lisa's like, as long as it takes to digest.
Starting point is 00:27:52 What's wrong with you? So Andy is like, so I want to start with your friendship with Lisa. You recently said in an interview that you were on a timeout. When was the last time you spoke? As long as it takes to digest a salad. Like literally never happens.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Vegetables are disgusting. There I said it. All right, well Lisa, you recently said in an interview that you were done recommending friends. I am not. Can you blame the woman? My God, look at everybody she's brought on there. She brought on Angie Harrington and she's like,
Starting point is 00:28:25 Lisa swallows gallons of jizz to get jazz tickets. Angie Harrington also stole Lisa's caterers, so never forget that. She stole her what? Caterers. Oh, yes. Yes. The biggest offense of all. Yes. Do you regret recommending Bronwyn for the show? No. And this is where we know she's lying, but she doesn't want to get yelled at again because her eyes just start going,
Starting point is 00:28:48 Blong, blong, blong, blong, blong, blong. Blong, blong, blong, blong, blong, blong, blong, blong, blong. Love that, love that, love that, love that, love that, love that. So she's like, no, I don't regret recommending Bronwyn at all, but I think I'm done recommending Paypal. I mean, I'm a transplant to Utah." And then she gets her cutesy voice, and she's like, I'm a transplant to Utah.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Like, have the locals do it. You know what I mean? The natives. Let the natives take over. You should let the natives take over. God knows they deserve it. I'd watch that show too. Give them a show.
Starting point is 00:29:25 We saw it a little bit when they went to that bathtub springs. No, where did they go? Where did they go? You guys know what I mean though, right? The salts? The salt place? No, they went somewhere where I think we were all generally pretty horrified. They're like, look, it's a native to your thing.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Do you have any feathers? I put the feather. It was like, oh, this show. So Lisa's like... Love this show. Lisa's... And he's like, well, who did you recommend, Lisa? Um, it goes way back. It started with Heather. And then through Heather came Whitney.
Starting point is 00:29:55 And then Angie. And then Jenny. And then Bronwen. And then John. He actually should be a cast member, but he's still outside parking the car. There was a fight going on on Twitter between Lisa, literally Lisa and everybody. If you say anything about Lisa, she'll find your ass and be like, whatever, stupid.
Starting point is 00:30:13 She's gonna go the distance. Yeah, I'm gonna go to the shot. But she got in a fight with like a Mary Cosby fan account that said, like, I read that book, Diamonds and Rosé, and it even says that Mary got this show started, so whatever, Lisa Barlow. And then Lisa's like, actually I'm so sick of answering this question from you.
Starting point is 00:30:32 So here's the thing, I just started the show and I'm the center of the show and everything's about. So it's funny that he brought it up here to make her answer again. And actually Lisa, it was actually really funny because Lisa was trying to get Angie, Angie K on earlier and she literally says, she was trying to get Angie K on, she goes, because I was gonna get a shampoo bowl from Angie. What is a shampoo bowl? I don't know what a shampoo bowl is. Is it just a bowl that you put
Starting point is 00:31:01 your shampoo in? Yeah. Yeah. Is it a beauty salon? Oh, you go to the beauty salon, and they do it. That's where they wash your hair in it. Oh, I thought it was like a bowl that you arrange your shampoo in. Oh my god. I'm about to get a free bowl.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Put it on the show. Our shampoo bowl when I was a kid was just the sink. My mom would just like turn us upside down and start using that little sprayer function. So Andy's like, alright, well, uh, Table from Cloth says, Hey, uh, Bronwyn, was it disappointing for you to come on the show as Lisa's friend to have her turn on you? All right, it's time for a Bronwyn monologue.
Starting point is 00:31:51 It's a big one. Bronwyn answers very longly. I know that's not a real word, but that's all that I could come up with right now. So she's like, you know, hold on everybody, let me just get, I just feel very differently than I did then. And at the time I definitely did feel like
Starting point is 00:32:08 you were not being a friend to me. And I kept thinking, something has gone on between Lisa and I, something's not right here. For a minute it was right, but then it wasn't right anymore. And you know, I think you see me kind of chasing her the whole season, am I right? You see me chasing her, you do right, yes, yes, you see me kind of chasing her the whole season, am I right? You see me chasing her, you do, right, yes, yes. You see me chasing her.
Starting point is 00:32:28 And then, you know, then I was like, what went wrong? What went wrong? You kept stabbing her in the back for no reason and talking shit behind her back and yelling at her. That's what went wrong. Well, I know that Lisa Barlow is a monster, but you started it. Well, and now that I've watched it back and I've watched the way you are with Angie and Heather
Starting point is 00:32:51 and I've been, you know, charging Todd's palm pilot and things like that, you know, things you said in your confessionals, I don't think anything went wrong. I just think that I was just unaware that we were just like not as close as I thought we were. And I think that, you know, I think that I was Lisa's social friend and I was incredibly close with her. She didn't want to repay the friendship tax, even though I'm incredibly wealthy. And I bought her a first class ticket one way to part of a trip. And I did, you know, at one point, you know, she got a shampoo bowl from Angie and I got her a shampoo tray, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:25 and it's just, I guess it's just a one way friendship and that's okay, that's okay. Yeah, she just sees me somebody, as somebody that she sees socially. Well, do you know why she thinks that? Cause Lisa was like, I just know her socially. We weren't in like embedded in each other's lives, you know? Like we didn't tell each other our deepest, darkest secrets,
Starting point is 00:33:47 and I've always thought highly of her. What are your deepest, darkest secrets? One time I put a Frosty in my cup holder and accidentally dipped a fry into it, and it was the most delicious thing I ever had. So one time I had a French fry with frosty on top of it. I'm so sorry mom! Oh!
Starting point is 00:34:09 You know, on that note, I just want to announce that today for the first time in my life, I had my very first blizzard from Dairy Queen. Thank you Ronnie. Thank you Ronnie for holding my hand through the process and joining me. Ronnie guided me, I was like, what do I get? He's like, we should get the Blizzard.
Starting point is 00:34:26 What was the thing you got, like the peanut? The peanut. I get the peanut buster parfait. Yeah. Personally. He got the fancy thing. Cause there's natural things in it, like peanuts. There's fruit.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Yeah. But don't you love when you show somebody like your childhood thing, you're like, this is the most amazing thing for my childhood. And they're like. I thought it was very tasty. It was media. It was made. You're right.
Starting point is 00:34:48 OK, so it was like a dairy Duchess. It wasn't really a Dairy Queen. It was like a Dairy Countess. Yeah, Dairy Queen needs more sugar. There. They heard it here first. The truths are coming out tonight, everyone. Come for Salt Lake City.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Stay for the Dairy Queen critiques. The shoots are coming out tonight, everyone. Come for Salt Lake City. Stay for the Jerry Quinn critiques. Thank you. Thank you. Waited 13 years on this podcast to say that. So Mineral from Water says, hey, Heather, you didn't give Bronwyn a chance. Do you regret treating her the way you did after watching her season?
Starting point is 00:35:29 Do you think you were unfair to her? And Heather's just like, well, listen, I got a real quick read on Bronwyn because I know readers, because I'm an author. I'm currently writing my third book called Receipts, Proof, Joseph Smith. And I knew exactly who she was when she had a conversation and then started talking about Whitney differently to her face than she did behind her back. And guess what? I regret
Starting point is 00:35:58 nothing. I regret, ow, I bit my tongue, maybe the teeth. I maybe regret the teeth. There was more conversation in the car. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And yes, I was hard on Whitney. And then Whitney and I had a conversation. And I said to Whitney, I didn't leave there with a great impression after you stormed out. I did say that. I did.
Starting point is 00:36:17 I will just nod until you just accept it. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. What are you talking about? You told Whitney, of all people, that she's iconic. I love that that's Heather's big diss. She's like, we all know your line. You called Whitney iconic. It's an honor to be named after an Alanis Morissette song.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Hey, and then I have a question for you, because I feel that I'm always there for people and then like you're not there from You can do it Whitney come on you can do it what You were almost on the way to asking a very incisive question I forgot. Can we start over again? I was so supportive. Oh, and I feel like you won't claim me publicly. Oh, this close.
Starting point is 00:37:19 I almost got it. As a friend, as a friend. Oh, thank you, Josefine. Well, that is something that I see when I watch back. That is true, Whitney. I do see that as I watch that back. And I very much was in a place when we were filming where I thought Lisa, this is all Lisa's fault, by the way.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Every personality flaw that I am showing tonight is because of Lisa. So it's because I thought that Lisa and I were better friends, and then something had gone wrong, and I was trying to unravel what that had been. I was just trying to unravel it, just trying to get that going. And more often than not, I placed Lisa on a pedestal, and then I found out Lisa is this, this bag of bones with long, stringy hair. And I'm so sorry that Lisa did this to you. Lisa did this to you, yes.
Starting point is 00:38:09 So you're saying that Lisa hurt you? Okay, show me on this water bottle where Lisa hurt you. Okay. Everywhere. So Andy is like, do you accept that, Whitney? And she goes, I do accept that because I fucking hate Lisa right now, so I'll accept anything Barman says.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Whitney's such a dingbat. Her actual answer is, yeah, because my relationship is totally separate from my relationship with Lisa. It's like, what if I have anything to do with? Okay. Yeah? Okay!
Starting point is 00:38:42 Yeah! Okay, you, take it over. Okay, okay, you take it away. Okay, okay, okay! From San, from Diego, asks... Blayton from Pandering asks... You seem offended that Bronwyn wanted to mend things before Palm Springs. Can you blame her for not wanting to invite people she's not in good standing with?
Starting point is 00:39:05 And so Heather's like, I mean it was a move Andy and it's a couples trip and I think I was never involved in the first place. I was never going to go on that trip and it was very clear to me the minute I walked into her house that I was there to sing for my supper. Well let me sing it right now. Receipts proof, timeline! And why, why would you want to create fractures in a friendship group that are like newly fragile? And Bronwyn's like, um, did anyone else think that I was only there to embarrass Heather? Answer the fucking question. Answer one question, lady! So she's like, or that I was trying to fix it with her, because I would love to know that. to embarrass Heather, answer the fucking question. Answer one question, lady. So she's like, or that I was trying to fix it with her because I would love to know that.
Starting point is 00:39:48 So everybody thinks I was trying to fix it with her, everybody's raising their, okay. If you don't think that, don't raise your hand. I mean, if you don't think that raise, if you think that, don't raise your hand. Wait, wait, wait. Can I lift my foot up? Whitney's like, I know Heather so well, so I could see where Heather's perspective was coming from. And the walls went up right away, like for Jen Shaw. But I also did see
Starting point is 00:40:16 Bronwyn trying. So I think it was just really a sad miss, but I understand both perspectives. Okay, well, Carbon from Dioxide wants to know, Heather, you know, you haven't edged you now, and it's because you're not fat anymore. Yeah. You've lost weight, so now you're a huge bitch. So, um... That question came out of nowhere. I'm like, what?
Starting point is 00:40:43 What is wrong with people? Jesus. Commercials, here comes one right now. Hey, y'all, it's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me? Well, on Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, we're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new me. Well, on Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, we're taking it to a whole other level.
Starting point is 00:41:05 We're talking new year, new perspectives. And honey, it's gonna change your life. I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas. Y'all, if you wanna understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year,
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Starting point is 00:41:45 check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby. So Heather's like, I mean, I guess that's an interesting breed on it. I guess when I was heavier, I was more of an underdog. And like, I was just, it was okay when I stood up for myself because I had to wear stretchy pants. But season one, Heather had a lot more confidence than this girl.
Starting point is 00:42:13 I mean, this show strips you of your ego. It strips you of your confidence. Okay, now you're just full of shit. I was with you for the first two seconds. How does this show strip anybody of their ego? Look around this room. Meredith is literally sitting there like, how dare she, I'm the only person.
Starting point is 00:42:32 There's a listening device under my chair and I don't appreciate it, bring it me. You're on a show with Lisa Barlow. How could you say this show strips you of your ego? Oh my God. So Mary has a nice monologue where she actually says that she feels like Heather is different but she's been pouring love into herself and when she met Heather many years ago, five years ago, she was like in a dark
Starting point is 00:42:54 unhappy place and we you know. We know what Mary means too because you know Mary. Mary's like well you know when I first met Heather, I hated the bitch. But, you know, it's mostly because, I mean, she was fat. I just hate fat people. But now she's not fat. So, you know, good for you, Heather. That was basically Mary. Do you remember when Mailey was doing that thing up on the,
Starting point is 00:43:17 they were having that, like, exercise day and Mailey was up on the ropes, and Mary's like, I don't remember her being so big. Oh. That's Mary. To be fair, a lot of people just don't remember Mailey was up on the ropes and Mary's like, I don't remember her being so big. That's Mary. To be fair, a lot of people just don't remember Mailey. That's true. So yeah, Mary's like, but you know, now she's more self-assured and stuff
Starting point is 00:43:34 and she's more confident and you are different. And Andy's like, well, you always seem confident to me. And she goes, well, I mean, you have to have more confidence to show up with no clothes fit. I mean, I'm wearing a stretchy jumpsuit. I mean, I'm next to all these beautiful women, and I have confidence and spades to do this whole show, Andy." And he's like, why are you crying?
Starting point is 00:43:53 And she's like, because I'm starving. What do you think? I'm hungry. Okay, I want to switch gears for a second. Let's talk about something uplifting. Okay. All right, so Shu from Lace says, Bronwyn, you discovered Lisa knows
Starting point is 00:44:13 Gwen's parental grandparents. Oh. Oh my God, Lisa. Did you intend to share that story on the show, Bronwyn? No, no I did not. Which is why I showed Lisa a picture that surely she has never seen and had no idea of, and showed it specifically to Lisa in front of production
Starting point is 00:44:36 and had no idea that it would end up on camera. So Andy is asking Lisa, he's like, well, you knew Gwen's dad, and she's like, yeah, I knew him very loosely. It's like a social friend. Yeah, I'm like friends with his parents and everything. It's like really cool. And Heather's like, so you saw the photo
Starting point is 00:44:52 and you're like, I know that family, right? I'm just trying to help you out Lisa, that was your line. She's like, yeah, I saw the photo and I was like, I knew the family, yeah, yeah. I used to go to the mother's house and like up the stairs she had a picture of him. Well, I can't tell you a person other than Gwen, I've ever showed a picture of Gwen's dad too.
Starting point is 00:45:08 I was very clear about that. I've never shown one to Todd. Mostly because the father worked out and was younger and I just don't want Todd to get mad at me. Also, also, you can't show photos on Palm Pilots. I tried to draw up for him, but. We did have a very good game of Minesweeper, though. The stylist was really rough, Andy.
Starting point is 00:45:32 I'm not going to lie. So she's like, well, he's seen it now, of course, but he had not seen it before. And so when you say, I look like Glenn, I just felt like maybe I could share this with you. I could confide in you that Gwen looks like her dad and how much that hurts me. And I felt, you know, she goes through the whole thing,
Starting point is 00:45:49 like I was confiding these huge things to you, Lisa. I was letting you in in such a huge way with my daughter and your responses did feel like you were defending them. So Lisa's like, wait a minute, you're talking about the after show. So we don't cover the after show on this show, but on the after show, which we find out now, Lisa's like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:46:08 I knew it was a super sensitive situation, but also for the family that lost her son. So Andy's like, well, what did you say on the after show? I barely watched this one. So somebody fill me in, okay? So we see a flashback and Lisa's like, Lisa's talking to Brittany, which why would you pair those two, you know? So Brittany's and Lisa's like, Lisa's talking to Brittany, which, why would you
Starting point is 00:46:25 pair those two, you know? So Brittany's face is just like, oh. Brittany's just so excited to be there. She really is. She's just ready to sing Bocahontas at that point. Are you guys ready for me? I can sing it. I can sing it.
Starting point is 00:46:41 So Lisa is telling her, look, I had a long conversation with Gwen's grandmother. And she's like, we're open to meeting her. We're excited. You know, last we were told Bronwyn had a miscarriage, OK? And there was no child. And then her son, who passed away, his wife reached out to Bronwyn. And she's like, but we never got to meet Gwen.
Starting point is 00:46:58 So it was like really upsetting for them. So she's what Lisa is saying here. And I'm not going to stand up for Lisa for this whole time. Don't worry. But I think on this point, she's saying we filmed the after show before the show airs. So they showed something else that they cut from the show. They showed this on Peacock. But they showed a flashback to a foot massage place
Starting point is 00:47:17 where on camera, Bronwyn said, I thought there's no way this person could know I have a child somewhere and someday not come for her. And Lisa said, did they not know? Because I think that she was told you had a miscarriage. And she said, we didn't hear differently. And so, and Bronwyn didn't get mad. She was just like, okay. So Bronwyn had them cut that footage from the show, right? She went to production and said, could you cut that footage? That's two cents a dough. I don't want it. This was on the reunion, by the way. This was on the...
Starting point is 00:47:41 Right. So they cut the footage from the show. So Lisa doesn't know that they cut the footage from the show. So when she goes on the after show, and she's like, I thought she had a miscarriage. That's what I was told. And now Braun was like, how dare you, Lisa? Because they forgot to cut that from the after show. They cut it from the regular show, but not the after show. So now I'm not saying total justice for Lisa,
Starting point is 00:48:01 but she's so bad at explaining herself. And she just goes down. At this point, girl, if you can't explain it, just say, I'm sorry. Yeah. That's all she needs to say. It's a sinking ship. That's all you need to say at this point. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:14 But why ever take the easy way out when you're Lisa Barlow? She can't do it. I mean, God bless her. Even if she's in the right and she has a point, she's like, how could you do this to me? This was obviously more of like a darker part of the reunion, but luckily, like, we did have the comedy of watching Lisa choke up like every two minutes. Just in a random sentence, she was like, well, you know what's really funny?
Starting point is 00:48:38 Hold on, I'm getting a text. Oh, I'm getting a text right now. Like, she kept on doing it. That was like her get out of jail card thing. Worked for me. I liked it. So Bronwyn tells us basically what I just told you, right, man? Like, she kept on doing it. That was like her get out of jail card thing. Worked for me. I liked it. So Bronwyn tells us basically what I just told you, right?
Starting point is 00:48:49 So she's like, but then in the 18 years that I've had Gwen, I've never told a single person who this person is. I've never asked for money. I've never said anything to them. So I was really careful. And you and I had a clear conversation. And you're entitled to believe your friends if you want to. But you've been on TV a long time, Lisa, much longer than me, and you know what was going on
Starting point is 00:49:06 the after show and repeating that I faked a miscarriage, and this is where Bronwyn loses me. No one ever said, Lisa never said you faked a miscarriage. No one ever said it. I think the implication is the guy lied and said, Mom and Dad, don't worry, we can still go to our little planet with all the other fucking wives because The baby died. I think that's what happened. Yeah, she's accusing Lisa now Why does Brent get in trouble for all the shit?
Starting point is 00:49:32 She lied about to get to get sympathy points on real housewives of New York But Bronwyn is still called an icon when she's saying shit like this She never said you faked a miscarriage and that's not cool to put that on somebody because now when you go online everyone's like Lisa accused her of faking a miscarriage and that's not cool to put that on somebody because now when you go online everyone's like Lisa accused her of faking a miscarriage. Bullshit lady, bullshit and I don't care who agrees with me that is low. Well I'll tell you why Brynn gets more shit is because when Brynn isn't lying she's also not entertaining and Bronwyn is entertaining when she's not lying also. Bronwyn is so much more entertaining than Brynn.
Starting point is 00:50:05 But I do agree, I do think it was- Wait a minute. Hey! Wait. A sexy podcast recording. I'll cast your part, big boy. San Diego. I wanna meet Diego. Diego, call me.
Starting point is 00:50:26 So Lisa's like, I never said you played the best character. What? And Bronwyn's like, well, you know how hurtful that would be to hear from my daughter? And she's like, well, he's passed away. And Gwen's, Lisa's sobbing, like he passed away. Gwen's father has passed away. And, you know, we go to commercial. We come back and Lisa's just like, you know like, he passed away, Gwen's father has passed away. And you know, we go to commercial and we come back
Starting point is 00:50:47 and Lisa's just like, you know what? I'm in a loose, loose situation here. I just can't win this. So Bram was like, I don't understand why you have to do this or whatever and Heather basically tells Lisa, she goes, just say sorry and there's no way out. It's done. Heather's like, listen. It's done.
Starting point is 00:51:04 It's over. As a New York Times best's over York Times best-selling author. Trust me Your goose is cooked. Just say sorry. You're not gonna win this Bronwyn has nailed that Yeah, just sorry. Yeah, the Bronwyn is a very very good arguer, which is one thing I love about her So whether she's wrong or not, like I love watching her like she just like just shreds everyone on the show all the time. Well, yeah, because she twists everything they says and uses it in his accusations against them and lies basically. So good for her. She's a great lying arguer. Yeah, but like let's not act like let's not forget when Heather was trying to come for Bronwyn and Bronwyn was like
Starting point is 00:51:41 yeah, cuz I use my fucking credit card cuz I want my fucking credit card. Whatever that moment was. I was like, yes, like I used my fucking credit card, because I want, it was my fucking credit card. Whatever that moment was, I was like, yes! That was such a good moment. I wish I could have. Well, congrats on Todd having a giant credit card. You're still a dick. So, Lisa is, it's like it's over. Miscarriage has been invoked,
Starting point is 00:51:59 and so it's time to just quietly give her the cane, pull her off, and this segment, it's like it's not going to get any better for her. So she's and Bronwyn's right. And this is the thing, you know, because Bronwyn is right on a lot of this stuff. It's like, look, lady, I just told you I'm pregnant. This family totally shunned me, wanted nothing to do with the baby. And Lisa's like, but I love them. They're good people.
Starting point is 00:52:22 And you know, to Lisa Barlow, what that means, they're really rich. Yeah, they're really rich. They're good people. And you know to Lisa Varla what that means. They're really rich. Yeah. They're really rich and they're high up in the church. So it's not like Lisa gets all Scott free here. She's like, her mother's so sweet. No, she's not. Her mother's a fucking bitch.
Starting point is 00:52:35 That mother sent somebody out who's pregnant on the street by her son and disowned the girl. And if she did have a miscarriage, if she believes she did have a miscarriage, where's the flowers? Where's the I'm sorry? Where's the can we help you? So no matter what happens between Lisa and Bronwyn,
Starting point is 00:52:52 fuck those grandparents. Fuck both of them. Yeah. Oh, I love being mad. God, I love this job. Happy birthday to us. Yeah! For our birthday, I got Ronnie Anger. Ronnie!
Starting point is 00:53:10 So Bronwyn, so Lisa's like, Fuck you, you want to make me have to be this horrible human being that I'm not. Bronwyn goes, Lisa's welcome to believe them if that's what she wants. They want to tell her that's what they want to tell her. That's what happened, but I don't understand why you can't have an ounce of understanding of how painful this was for Gwen and I. And Meredith is like, well, I think that's why
Starting point is 00:53:33 she's crying over there. No, I lost my subway rewards card, that's why. I worked for three weeks on that thing. And Bronwyn's like, well, once you repeated it, Lisa, it went everywhere. She repeated it on the show after she didn't know that you had a fit about it being on the regular show. Why aren't you yelling at production?
Starting point is 00:53:51 Yell at them. So Meredith is like, yeah, that's why she's crying, I think. Lisa, is that why you're crying? Oh, sure. Oh. You did hear about the super cuts in Bogota. Oh. So she's like, you could at least start with, I hurt your daughter.
Starting point is 00:54:08 Which I mean, I think Bronwyn's right on all of this, you know? So Bronwyn's saying, you could have just said, I hurt your daughter and this caused all this shit and you put it out, even if you didn't know, you could have just said you're sorry, you know? And Lisa's like, well, but that would be a lie. Well, no, no, no, the lie is about... The lie is that she brought it up on the app. No, no, the lie is, Brahman says, you can say fuck, you know, you can say fuck me.
Starting point is 00:54:31 I don't care about you Brahman anymore, but like I want you to, I want you to apologize to my daughter. And Lisa's saying, no, I do, like the lie is that I don't care about you. I do care about you. So she's like, so you know what? You know where we could start with? This is where you and me struggle. You know, you always say, well, you know what, Lisa?
Starting point is 00:54:47 You should be saying that, and you should be saying that. And I don't like when people tell me what to say. No, I'm just giving you options for things you could say because you did none of them. And Lisa's like, I don't need options. This is a very complicated position for anyone to be in. And Mara's like, do you? Do you know how difficult it is knowing that somebody
Starting point is 00:55:07 had a child that their grandparents didn't? It's like you're talking to the person who had the child that the grandparents. This is like going to like a Pizza Hut Taco Bell. Which one do you go to? It's a complicated situation. Lisa could pass by Jesus Christ getting crucified and be like, I can't believe they're blocking the road to lunch. Do you know how difficult it is to get that reservation over there?
Starting point is 00:55:31 It's complicated. Samantha goes, she could out-martered the biggest martyr in the world. Do you feel badly that Bronwyn and Gwen were hurt by what you said? And furthermore, do you feel badly that you're implying that I have an eating disorder? You know, but I could have said what I wanted to say, but there's so many chimings from everybody, so I just couldn't say, uh, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:54 I would never want to hurt Bronwyn or Gwen because they're all so rich, so... Before you know it, I'm just not gonna be invited anywhere. Aah! Aah! Before you know it, I'm just not going to be invited anywhere. So Andy's like, Bronwyn, at the end of the season, Gwen still hadn't decided whether to pursue a relationship with her grandparents. Where are things now? And Bronwyn's like, well, that's in Gwen's court now.
Starting point is 00:56:20 And Lisa gave us the information when this all came up. And Gwen's going to make that decision at some point and she will just, you know, that will be her choice. It's like, is her voice going up to the ceiling? It's floating off. So she's basically like, well, she's 18, she can do whatever she wants with those fuckers. So Andy's like, well, I guess the million dollar question
Starting point is 00:56:42 is Bronwyn and Lisa, is there a path forward? Here's what I love, healing. So just to remind you, Lisa completely fucked you over and has no remorse. This lady just made you look like you said you faked a miscarriage. You guys wanna hug? That's what this show's all about.
Starting point is 00:57:02 And now we can all exhale, because we got through the miscarriage accusation segment of the reunion, everyone. We did it. We did it. People are going to be leaving here like, thanks for bringing me to the show. So basically, this relationship is going
Starting point is 00:57:21 to need next season to whatever. Yeah, it's not going to work out. Let's break for lunch. Which is,'s like, let's break for lunch! Which is, I love the let's break for lunch because that's the moment when Andy just sinks in his chair. Immediately with his phone. His phone, he just sinks down, has his phone here. He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:57:37 He's playing Wirtle. So now they all break for lunch. And Mary goes, wow, now I remember why I don't miss these. So then we go to the dressing room where Whitney and Heather are still doing their damn handshake. I can't. Hello, salute. If you like the Danny show, bell ring. Can I join in?
Starting point is 00:57:58 You got me again. And Brooks is, I put Brooks Fluffs Meredith, that's probably not the right terminology. He's like, let me fix your hair, mom. Your hair looks really good. Mom, you are an icon. The way you gathered those bitches, like literally mother, mother.
Starting point is 00:58:24 So then we go to Lisa and John and Lisa's like, I mean it's just so frustrating. It is so frustrating. I'm like tired of the hamster reel. Do you want to leave the show? What are you fucking crazy, John? Shut the fuck up or I'm going to divorce you. Stop speaking.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Seriously. He's like, I know it's hard when they all come for you. She's like, no, I'm not talking about that. It's me watching you parallel park. It's like, I know it's hard when they all come for you. She's like, no, I'm not talking about that. It's me watching you parallel park. It's so frustrating. So we go to Whitney, and she's like, Lisa has problems with everyone.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Don't you think at some point you could just quote Taylor Swift and be like, hi, I'm the. What? What is next? What? What is next? I only listen to Yanni. Lisa's the problem. It's Lisa. Taylor Swift is Greek. So then we go to Heather, and Heather's just talking shit with the makeup people and that's
Starting point is 00:59:25 a good thing when you don't have a husband to go back there and like cry to. You just get to talk shit with the people who really don't care about you, the makeup people. Because the husband at least have to kind of like mid pretend to care but the makeup people are getting paid. So anything you say they're like, uh-huh, yes girl, yes. So she's like, I'm totally annoyed with Bronwyn's Dame Edna act.
Starting point is 00:59:48 I mean, like, my intention is to make sure everyone loves me. And I'll start with Twitter, and then words I'll say, every politically correct thing. I just feel like she's running for office, like I'm in a TED Talk that I just did not need to hear. Says Heather in her 10th monologue of the episode. So then we see Todd is sitting with Bromwyn and he's like, there's a draft.
Starting point is 01:00:14 So Bromwyn's like, he's like, well, we got right into the Lisa and Gwynnevitt. Give me the Reader's Digest version. The worst thing to ever happen to this world was long form writing. Well I'm not telling her what to say because she gets spicy. Settle down over there. I'm trying to watch diagnosis murder.
Starting point is 01:00:36 But I was telling her, is there anything you want to apologize to me for? No? No? You don't want to apologize for anything? Would you like to? I kept giving her the options. I gave her multiple things to say and she just wouldn't say them, Todd. She just wouldn't say, I guess we're never friends. And he goes, yeah, I guess you were just social acquaintances. And she goes, well, I was a social clime. And when she wanted
Starting point is 01:00:59 to come to our jazz suite, when, well, when I had a party, she wanted to come. And he goes, well, of course. And she can come to our jazz suite and not have anything to do for it, so to speak. Oh, look who got an iPhone. Yeah, we know how much Bronwyn hates when you demean a woman with sexual comments and suggest that she only gets things from fucking people. Yeah, not a hypocrite at all, you two.
Starting point is 01:01:28 And also we get to see later in this episode we saw in the previews where Bronwyn is like, and how dare you, your husband talk to a woman like that? What husband talks about a woman like that? Yours, we just heard him. So now it's time for the husbands to come out onto the set, which is, I'm already cringing. I don't know, just like seeing Todd up there, I'm like, oh no, this is just gonna be,
Starting point is 01:01:48 this is, you know, like Seth is over there waiting to say, biatch. And Todd is like, this stool doesn't fit nice. So, so Todd's like, I wanna sit next to Andy. Earn it. Andy Griffith. I was like, I wanna sit next to Andy. Earn it. Andy Griffith.
Starting point is 01:02:09 So Andy's like, all right, we're back with the real houses of Salt Lake City and the husbands are joining us. Hey, hey Justin. Justin's like, hey. Hey Andy. Can we get a PA to clean up that trail of chocolate syrup? Thank you so much. All right. Hi husbands, hi husbands, hi husbands.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Okay, Todd, welcome to your first reunion, possibly your last. Let's just hope you make it through the whole thing. So I'm sorry I'm not greeting you in an inflatable costume. How do you feel about landing from business trips and having your So I'm sorry I'm not greeting you in an inflatable costume. Waaahhh! How do you feel about landing from business trips and having your wife greet you at the airport in a costume? Well look, it's just fun. It's like, you know, turning on George Burns and Gracie and listening on the radio while you eat your macaroni and cheese. That's it. Sean, how about you? We've heard you're giving circle jerks this year.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Just... Just in case that's true. Uh... We love circles. Sounds like, yeah, well, I'm having a great time, and Angie's doing a great job, and I'm here to support her. Is that Meredith Marks? I fucking love you. Please sign my Louie on the way out.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Mary? Whoa, we didn't see Robert Senior this season. Why is that? And she's like, well, obvious reasons. He doesn't want to be a part of this. He's happy. He's good with his life. He doesn't want anything to interrupt it.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Todd's like, wait, that was an option. I thought grandpas had to come to these. I love that we've got two people on this show married to their grandpa. Okay. I know you guys, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong. It's deep. It goes deeper than you could ever know, you guys. So, just laughing through the tears. So Andy's like, So John, how are those parallel parking spots? And he's like, wow, that was amazing. I had like my first iconic moment ever on television.
Starting point is 01:04:24 That was a great reveal. Ha ha ha ha ha. And Heather goes, it changed things for me with you forever. We come here as a group of women, all thinking that we can park the same way. And then it turns out people come into this group and they do not park the same way. And we have been through the trenches together,
Starting point is 01:04:46 parking in normal spots, diagonal spots, parallel parking. And for someone to come in here and try to destroy us with parking very slowly for 10 minutes, we do not accept that. And we band together because we've been to hell and back. And I swear to God, if I have to say that Jenshaw gave me this black eye because John Barlow parked too slowly I will say it.
Starting point is 01:05:10 All right all right here we go for the last five years the Salt Lake City husbands have managed to keep their skis out of the ladies ice your mom's who's riding this. Is there a monkey at the wheel back there? But this season the husbands and couples were openly taking swipes. Todd, that's something you do on phones that work. Like they were authorized users of Todd's black card watch. So we see flashbacks of the season of the guys and the guys talking in the pool and, you know, not like bringing misogyny into it at all, which is great.
Starting point is 01:05:49 And Seth is like, guys, you judge a straight guy by his wife. You judge her by the quality of his wife. I think that we're killing it. And Todd's like, well, I'm gonna make a different point. You judge a wife by the quality of the Werther's originals they bring you.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Yeah, you judge a wife by the quality of their husband, and they're the winners, and this is this situation. You know how many people want this body? Go to a mall at Christmas time and see all the ladies lined up to get the piece of Santa and tell me this ain't where it's at. Beotch! And then we go to that dinner, oh not, it was a separate dinner, and Brittany's like, Hey I've got an announcement, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. I've got an announcement. My announcement is that Jared and I both want to know, Bronwyn, how did you choose your husband?
Starting point is 01:06:51 And Bronwyn goes, "'Cause he's hysterically funny, as you will see on this entire season, I'm sure." So are you attracted to him? Are you saying because he has money or because there's an age difference? Because that is a low blow. Bronwyn does trap people like that because she's like, I'll give you, here's your choose
Starting point is 01:07:14 your own adventure is why I should be mad at you. Option A, you said that because you said that because you're saying I'm a gold digger or option B, you're saying it because I have terrible taste in men. Which path should we go down for this fight? That's so true. And wasn't this right after Bronwyn had been digging at Brittany about her stupid relationship with Jared too? I mean, that's fair.
Starting point is 01:07:35 That was fair. So, okay, so she gets pissed off at her for that. And then we go to the dinner at the vacation in Palm Springs and someone's like, oh, it's nice out here. It's like miserable feeling, but it's beautiful. And Bronwyn goes, yeah, miserable but beautiful. It's an analogy for Todd and I's marriage. Miserable but beautiful.
Starting point is 01:07:59 And he's like. I don't know much about their relationship, but it looks like there's mild tension. And it also looks like someone's been leaving spy devices all over this room. So then we see Todd and Brom when sitting together at their house after the vacation where she yelled at everybody and kept having walk-offs and saying the F word and stuff and so he's like well in the 10 years together that we've been together I've never seen you act the way that you did this weekend it's not very becoming for you and next time you're getting a seven up there's no Shirley Temple in your future missy you want to cherry in your drink, you better learn how to be hey. And then we also see another clip of Todd saying, well you know when Bronwyn and I started dating, I had a friend at the NSA do a background check on her. And Bronwyn
Starting point is 01:08:57 goes, oh yeah, cuz I can be a real snarky cut fitness. Don't say that. Don't say that! Trying to think how those things even linked. Oh yeah, I can be a real snarky captain. Investigator, she's being too snarky! She was snarky so I called the NSA! Something's going on with this lady, she's making too many jokes. I think she's working for the Russians. I think she's working for the Russians. Okay, well, um, God, I'm really running out here.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Redemption from Values says, Bronwyn, Todd is obviously very blind. Were you concerned about him being on the show, you know, maybe embarrassing you, farting inaudibly, pinching his nipples too much while he crosses his arms for no reason. I think Todd is just like playing, he's like. He's like. Mary Catherine Gallagher running it. So Bronwyn is like, she's got like her hand all the way back.
Starting point is 01:09:56 She's like, yeah, I'm just gonna touch Todd. You know, it's just to make him feel comfortable. It's like, this is his version of a Thunder vest. It's like making sure your child in the back seat is safe when you're taking a red light too quickly. All right, Todd, just settle down, okay? We're on TV, so just remember that. You know, I let Todd be who he wants to be. Calm down. Okay. And Todd and I have had some really important conversations and we've watched each other back. And I would have said, you
Starting point is 01:10:23 know, said before we filmed, while we filmed and that we've had a good relationship but we have a much stronger one now because I feel like saying that it doesn't really make sense, but I'll just say it We are much stronger now. You know now I've seen from other people's perspectives How maybe I speak to Todd That fair or about Todd Is that fair? Or about Todd. Is that fair? That's maybe not representative of our feelings and, you know, I won't speak for you.
Starting point is 01:10:50 I won't speak for you. You want to speak for yourself? Don't speak right now, please. But you know, you said similar things to me. I mean, he did say, or get out of this house and leave the car keys or you're not going out with your friends after 10. Stuff like that, right? Do you want a new Starbucks mug?
Starting point is 01:11:04 You want a new Starbucks mug? You want a new Starbucks mug? I'll get you that. You want that? Cake pop? You want that? Cake pop? Cake pop?
Starting point is 01:11:10 Do you want Starbucks mug? Todd likes getting the little dog Starbucks drink that's just whipped cream and a tiny thing. Do you want a Sriracha packet? They offer those now. Just puts his nose in it. Sriracha? It's really cute.
Starting point is 01:11:20 Sriracha? No? So Todd goes, absolutely, I feel the same way. And I think one of the interesting things is the number of people in this group, you know, some of them don't even know my name and asserted things about me. Well, I obviously know your name,
Starting point is 01:11:38 and it's Bertrand, so please stop dragging me into this. Well, I think it... I think opinions are like nose hairs. Everybody's got them. Why are you on me about it? OK. Todd, do you want a macchiato maybe? You know, they feel free to share their opinions, but that doesn't mean they're true.
Starting point is 01:12:00 You know, Bronwyn and I have a strong relationship. We got ups. We've got downs. sometimes she gets grounded. But ultimately we get a great time together. You know, she's experienced, we've experienced so much in the last 10 years. I got older, she, I don't know, she got a few faces, a lot of dresses, am I right?
Starting point is 01:12:22 We watch a lot of John Wayne movies, God, we have a lot of fun times together. People are jealous. Nobody is jealous of your ass. Nobody. I can see that you have a lot of money, which is great. If that's what it costs, I don't want it. I don't want it.
Starting point is 01:12:38 Todd yelling at you, I don't like how Todd treats Bronwyn. And I know I'm kind of rough on Bronwyn, but it's only because no one else seems to see it and call her out, which makes me crazy. But ultimately, I like her. I'm glad she's on the show. Like, I think she's a good housewife. I like her, and I don't like seeing her mistreated
Starting point is 01:12:54 by that old bastard. I don't like it. And I hope she finds wherever he's hiding that money, and she gets it. No, divorce won't work, because his ass has everything tied up in trust. You know it. Yeah. You know, there's no way that she's getting her hands on anything unless she gets tricky. And if we know that anyone is tricky on this show, it's that girl.
Starting point is 01:13:14 So I hope she takes all these powers that she's using right now against Barlow and takes that fucker for everything he's worth. Get him. Get him, Bronwyn. I love Bronwyn. I have to say, to me there's no qualifications about it. I just love her. I think she's great even when she is, you know, being messy or whatever. That's, you know, me. I always love a messy, messy housewife. So Bronwyn. You're very jealous of me. Well, I'm curious about the conversations that have come out about your behavior on the show or things that you've maybe seen from each other on the show. Don't sue me. Please don't sue me." And Bron was like, well, you know, I tend to have a sarcastic bend to my humor and I always want to say something before anyone else
Starting point is 01:14:04 says. She's basically kind of parroting everything that he's been mad at her about, you know, which I don't like. Mm-hmm. And so she's like, you know, sometimes that comes across like I'm making a joke at Todd's expense or the stability of my marriage's expense and you know that does take a toll. Mm-hmm. And to watch the world think that it's like, you know, once speaking negatively about my spouse or my marriage and Todd didn't deserve that. He just wanted a Werther's Original.
Starting point is 01:14:30 That's all he wanted. He didn't deserve, did you deserve that, honey? Did you deserve that? No, no, you don't deserve it. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve it. And I know I seem grumpy. And I know when I'm yelling at all these ladies
Starting point is 01:14:43 like children are my lawn. But at the end of the day, it's my lawn. And that's it. It's not your lawn. Get off my lawn. Get off of my lawn. You know, I've committed myself and to Broadway and to work on that. And I don't mean to be as assertive as I appear, but like a ninth grade type of argument,
Starting point is 01:15:04 a playground argument, just set me off a little bit. And Mary goes, not ninth grade. But a couple of things are off-limit for television. First of all, my nipples. Whether through a shirt or not through a shirt, these hands are covering them, and you're not getting a piece of this, so stop trying. And also, what the hell is Bravo anyway?
Starting point is 01:15:25 Last time I checked, this was my opera station. And the second thing that's off limits is Bronwyn's daughter, Gwendolyn, who I've been with for 10 years. So bringing up issues that were personal is completely unacceptable. Your wife did that. Just pointing it out.
Starting point is 01:15:46 You guys, that came from your team. So he's like, almost to the point of being loveless. And John is like, well, who, wait, am I allowed to speak? Oh my God. You can do it, John, come on, we told you to do this. Okay. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Starting point is 01:16:04 John, stop parallel parking in your head and to do this. OK. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. John, stop parallel parking in your head and just do it. OK. You can do it, John. Who brought it up? Your wife did. Oh. No, she didn't.
Starting point is 01:16:19 Uh-huh. Yes, she did. I'll see you like I did Hewlett-Packard. And Bronwyn's like, he's talking about the after show and what was said on the after show. And Bronwyn's like, Lisa didn't bring that up. Bronwyn brought it up.
Starting point is 01:16:33 Okay, I don't wanna litigate this. I just lit a fire and now I'm mad that it's burning. So please stop fighting, please. Yeah, Todd, I get where you're coming from. And Bronwyn's like, well, he's talking about the after show, Todd. And Todd goes, let me be clear about something. You asserting Bronwyn had a miscarriage was when?
Starting point is 01:16:52 And John goes, watch your tone. Like, oh, John Barlow. John Barlow, watch your tone. He's like, I'm not watching my tone. I'll use any tone I want. Watch your tone. You watch your tone. You watch your tone.
Starting point is 01:17:10 You watch your tone. No, you watch. Hey, am I pretty with myself? He does that sometimes, right, honey? He does. He gets very upset. It's OK. It's after 7 o'clock.
Starting point is 01:17:23 So they're just yelling at each other. Just would like to assert again that no one accused after seven o'clock. So they're just yelling at each other. Just would like to assert again that no one accused Bronwyn of having a miscarriage except she said that. Okay, so Heather is just like, guys, I just wanted to say something. Sometimes in life we reunite. Sometimes we decide to parallel park. Sometimes, Meredith, shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 01:17:47 Heather, shut the fuck up already. None of us can take this anymore. Proceed. No, Heather. Timeline. And that is the end of part one of the reunion. Thank you, San Diego, for having us here. Thank you San Diego for having us here for this. Thank you guys so much.
Starting point is 01:18:09 It's great seeing you all. Have a great night. Thank you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We love you, babe.
Starting point is 01:18:18 Welcome to the club. Everybody say my name. Welcome to the mall. And I'm sane. Everywhere I go, people holler every day. I raise my hands up and holler back. Head back. Head back. Head back. Head back. Head back. Everybody say my name, walk into the mall and insane Everywhere I go, people holler every day I raise my hands up and holler back
Starting point is 01:18:28 Hey, batch Hey, batch Hey, batch If you don't know me, you're welcome to blow me Batch Hey, batch Hey, batch Every day's a parade, don't even try to shade it.
Starting point is 01:18:47 Magazine's a box, where the Facebook and Instagram, I rule them all, cause when I play, I win. Watch what Crap-Ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King. Our way is the Amber Way. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni, see don't take no baloney. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp! Catherine DiBernardo has our harto!
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Starting point is 01:20:43 We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie, my favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podchadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthi.
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