Watch What Crappens - #2707 RHOBH S1409 Part One: Meme to Me

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

This is part one of a two-parter Garcelle invites the ladies to her beach house on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and Kyle finally apologizes for sending memes, and it was only memes ok?! To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watch her crap and add free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer and let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondery app. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all the crap we love to talk

about on Ye Olde Braves. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben. Hi Ben. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Good. I'm doing well. I think you just muted yourself by accident, by the way, when you touched your microphone. So in the meantime, I'll just say blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

It's that kind of morning. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. We're so excited. We're both doing the show from New York City in our beautiful hotel rooms. And we are going to be doing the crappy Awards this Saturday at the Town Hall on Broadway. We're so excited. We're having so much fun putting it together. I don't know how this learning lines thing is gonna go, but hey, we're gonna roll with it.

And you can get streaming tickets for that. It's almost sold out. It's basically sold out. There's like 20 tickets left. So if you can't get tickets, stream it, okay? It's gonna be streamable. You can get the links over on watchwhatcrappens.com. We're also going to be on Watch What Happens live Thursday night as bartenders with Miss Patricia and Madison Austin from Southern Charm. So that should be fun times. We're excited to do that. And also, we're on tour. Next week, we're going to be in Salt Lake City and Denver, and we have a ton of cities coming up. So go to watchwhatcrappens.com to get your tickets. That's also where you'll find Patreon links for traders recaps. And guess what else? For video, which we're on

right now. You can see our faces. So thank you, everybody. Wow. So Beverly Hills, huh? What'd you think of Bed Hills? It was, you know, you know, what I liked about it is that it took the tradition that was started with Roni and it said, we're going to move forward with it, which is dead birds on beaches. So I mean, if there's ever been a sign for the like return of Lisa Vanderpump, it's got to be all these fucking broken birds that are like littering the beaches of North America. Not only that we had the bird crashing into Kyle's house over and over again.

That was my favorite. That was literally my favorite part of the entire season. It was Kyle in her I'm at home alone montage getting startled by a bird. And sometimes you just need to listen to nature, you know, cause you know that bird was just like, my Kyle. Yeah. Um, it was fun. What did you think about the episode? I loved it. Good. I thought that was really good. I loved it. I was so proud of Kyle oddly enough for like not freaking out and crying,

although I did miss it because I'm loving Kyle's just descent into madness. I love when Kyle is just a crying temper tantrum throwing mess. It's like my favorite version of Kyle. So, I was kind of sad to see her grow up a little bit, but I thought it was nice, you know? I mean, all those people drove to Ventura County, nobody complained about how long it took. I thought that was nice. That's very rare in a group of LA people. I mean, Ben comes to the Valley to have sushi and I hear about it for a week. You do. And I have to say, actually, you know what I really loved about this episode is that we finally got to see Garcelle's Beach House. I was like, I wonder what this house

looks like. I wonder if we can finally get a tour of it. I just don't feel like I've seen it enough. I wonder if that was handed to her or if she actually worked for that her entire life. You know what I wonder? Did she do it herself? Can I see what the tiles look like again? I don't think I've seen it so far this season at all. I hope they give us a slow motion tour of this house because we have not seen it. That said gorgeous place. It's so nice. And she should be proud. You know, that's an amazing accomplishment. I want that house. What am I doing? We speak out of jealousy, but it's just funny because you know, it's like, well, if you think about it, Below Deck does this every single week, every single new charter, they do a boat tour for

the guests and they just guide us around that boat like we haven't seen it all season. It's like, yeah, we know what the salon is. We know, we know what the bedrooms look like. Here's a flash, a very flashy slow motion shot of Robert Goulet's but toilet or like butt bidet or whatever it is on that show. The golden day, you know, for Robert, the Goulet bidet. They're always like Robert Goulet style, you know. For Robert Goulet, the Goulet for today. The Goulet for today. They're always like Robert Goulet style, you know. So we opened this one, this is episode nine for those of you counting.

We opened this one with a Trixie Monical song and she's like, I want to see the sun come up. Some people wait their entire lives for a chance at a life like mine. We only get one and I'm doing it right. Some people wait their entire life." I was like, she must be on the drive to Ventura County because this is someone who's waiting in traffic, the sun. I've been waiting my entire life to find the exit. Trey Lockerbie You know, this whole, like, I don't understand what all of this has to do with wanting to see the sun come up.

I don't understand what all of this has to do with wanting to see the sun come up. Some people wait an entire life to have a life like mine, a life where you've never seen the sunrise. It's a depressing song, but also it's like girl pop, but it's like, girl, get out of bed. The whole thing is just like, will I live another day? I love my life. I could be dead any moment. I love my life. Set could be dead any moment. I love my life.

Set your fucking alarm. Wake up an hour earlier, you'll see the sunrise. It's nice, but it's not that like, it happens literally every day. Yeah. Are you in jail? Are you like in a hole in prison? You know, like what's happening? I know, we speak with sun privilege right now. Um, actually, they left, they came to turn down my room last night and they closed the blinds in here and I didn't know, and it was completely dark. And I was like, is the world over? I woke up like, has it finally happened? Because I've watched so many end of the world things that everything, it's like the city's on fire, this place is, you know, every bad news that happens, I'm like, okay, well, I guess now's the time, you know, I just kind of brush my teeth because

I don't want to get to heaven with dirty teeth, you know. And it turns out they just closed the blinds. I had a very depressing morning. So, actually, the song is speaking to me. I just want to see the sun come up. I was like, just one more time. Please let me do what happens live before you take away the sun. So, the moral of the story is, Trixie Monacle wrote this song while having blackout curtains installed. She's like, no, I want sheer curtains. So we see Kyle, we see,

I feel like this was happened a lot this episode where we see this picture of Kyle and Mauricio and the family and there was like, is it in my imagination? Cause I watched this like a few days ago. So it was like a little hazy, but like I felt like there were multiple transitions in this episode where they kind of like sliced

and diced up this photo and had it go like sliding across the screen. Is that just in my head? I think it, I think it's just in your head. It is what they're doing with Kyle. I mean, every time they show Kyle, they're like, poor Kyle, Kyle's family isn't at home anymore. Like, I get that that can be a sad thing. I'm not taking away from that, but

she still has like a huge family. Like, she's on the phone with her kids all day, every day, and she's like, look at me, nothing to do. I'll go on DM and find someone else to date, you know? Like, be quiet, Kyle. I can't... She's acting like she's Miss Havisham. It's like, ma'am, you are like in the prime of your life. Go out, go take a Pilates class, go read a book, go to the library, take, pick up a hobby, take a cooking class, go to the video store. I know they don't exist anymore,

but there is one still in West LA. Go there, find a video and just do something. I mean, like, it's really not that hard. Call Jamie Lee Curtis. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, pick up the acting. And the way they do it too, I'm like, has this family I mean? Yeah. Yeah, pick up the acting. The way they do it too, I'm like, has this family been kidnapped? Are they being held ransom? They just show these slow pictures of Mauricio, always looking so vacant. You

know, I've never seen somebody take pictures looking so vacant, so consistently. Every time they show a picture of Mauricio, he's just like, uh, uh. Well, vacancy is kind of his job though. Uh, it's called real estate. Um, you know, the other thing is slow pictures and it's like this whole family gone, Kyle only gets to cook dinner for this family five nights a week instead of seven. Yeah.

For someone whose daughters all still live at home, she really complains a lot about being an empty nest or like, don't all, doesn't like Sophia and the other one, like Sophia and Alexia and Portia. Don't they all live at home still? Is that just me? Or it feels like they have live at home energy. I think, I think a couple of them have moved. I think only Portia lives at home, right? I don't know.

Like I get the loneliness thing, but as someone who spends a lot of time alone, like unless you're finding an M&M in your belly button and being like, was this from last week? I'm going to eat it anyway. I don't want to hear from you. You know what I mean? Like you haven't really suffered like the rest of us. You know, I just made myself mad and I'll tell you why. Because I don't know why it took me so many years to realize this, but you know, we always talk about how Kyle copies her successful friends. And we all know the Kardashians, everyone starts with a K. They're like a jeweler. Every Kardashian begins with K.

Just begins with K. I don't know why it took me so long to realize that Kyle was totally copying the Kardashians, but just by having all her daughter's names and with a Alexia, a Porsche, Farah, Sophia. Because whenever your car's broken, you know, you have a triple a to come. They couldn't, they couldn't just end with just two, two a daughters. They're like, I don't want to have just AA. Let's get to AAA. I want my flaps fixed for free. By the way, guys, in case you're wondering about the humor today, it don't want to have just AA. Let's get to AAA. Let's get to AAA. I want my flaps fixed for free.

By the way, guys, in case you're wondering about the humor today, it's not gonna get better than this. Okay, so yeah, we see the sad family, like they've all been kidnapped. And then Kyle's like, hey, Siri. And Siri's like, please stop talking to me. She's like, Siri. Because, you know, they added this new

like Apple intelligence to the phone and I like that she's sassier now. She's just like, you know what, I don't like you. Okay, I'll only answer if you stop crying. How about that? Listen, Kyle, you can't complain about how lonely you are and then when the robots reach out to have a conversation with you, you shun them, okay?

Like talk, beggars can't be choosers. If the robot wants to talk to you, you talk to the robot. I'm so glad my mom doesn't have my name in the phone like Kyle does, like with the label, because Kyle is like, hey, could you call Portia my love bug? Oh my God. Mine would be like, call Ronnie that ungrateful little asshole. Call Ronnie the calorie consumer. Call Ronnie the calorie consumer. So, um, uh, so she calls Portia as while she mixes agave and powder in a bowl, which is like, so, so California. So Portia, Portia's like, hi mom.

And she's like, Hey honey, how was sleeping at dad's? It was good. I didn't have to eat agave and powder for breakfast again. So I was really happy about that. I thought dad had a stroke or something overnight, but it turns out it was just his regular resting face. And then Carl's like, you know, the thing about having a big family is that there's always somebody home. But nowadays there's just so many days where I'm alone at home all by myself. And then we just see a montage of Kyle doing things alone like moving a chair that time. Remember? That was a big scene. I'm glad they started

with that. Caring a bull. And the best part is she, at one point, Kyle goes like creeping up to her own window for, I mean, you could not act like, like a, like a baddie woman more than a baddie person. It's not just, it's not a female thing, but you could not act like a baddie woman more than Kyle walking up to that window. And so it was just funny enough watching her go up to that window. But then the fact that a bird came out of nowhere, it's a Vanderpump fan. The bird was like, I'm going to get this bitch. I'm going to get it one day.

The way she was just like creeping up to that window. I was like, are you auditioning for the next Halloween movie? Like, why are you doing a horror movie right now to this window? And why are you so express that you're trying to fly into Kyle's house of all houses? You know? Oh God, that poor bird. Oh God. It was a fae resnic bird. This got terrible wicker baskets. So, uh, or bad closet organized. I mean, you remember when she was like, Oh my God,

they did my closet and we walked in and they were all like target, target shelving. I was like, wow, it was all wrought iron furniture from like, with like brown and like red accents or gold. So, this is my favorite kind of episode where not much happens. And we just talk about phase wicker baskets. So Kyle's like, it just feels lonely sometimes. I'm like, you also have two sisters who live in the same city. Like,

I just feel like there's so many options for her. And I just am not going to, I just can't feel bad for this, this storyline right now. Pete Slauson Here's who I feel bad for. The bird. Why isn't it, why isn't she going out there and trying to help the bird? Literally, the bird just keeps banging up against the window. Like, the bird is trying to harm itself. Go help it. Go talk to the bird. Pete Slauson No, listen, let me tell you something. That bird does not need help. That bird is also being really annoying, right? I don't like the bird storyline either. Pete I love the bird storyline. Well, you know that I live in kind of the country, well,

not the country, but for me, it's kind of countryish in Texas and there's so much wildlife. And you know, I go out there and talk to it. I have that peacock that comes to visit me every day and he's getting so, so, I call him Frank. I don't know what his real name is, but I go out there and I've heard him and I have a little squirrel that I go out there and talk to and feed. I mean, I just love it. So I say, let's open the door, let the bird in. It obviously wants to do something. Pete No, because like a bird that keeps going after a window, when I was a child, there was this one robin that I tell you, it was like every spring, it was the most annoying Robin.

This Robin, because there was just something, this Robin would always come from my window and would come over and over and it was like, oh God, it's like a certain time of the year, like it's springtime, hormones kick in for this Robin and I don't know if it was trying to meet with its reflection or attack its reflection Or just stupid but it was like every spring this Robin would just start banging on my window And I don't know I think the fact that it was a Robin just made it all the worse like the fact that it was like this bird You just see this this red red chested bird

It's like hi, and I mean like I just it would never go away I would like I remember one time I drew a picture of a skull and put it on the window thinking that would scare it, thinking that like a Robin would be scared by the same things that humans are had no effect. But I put, I literally had a skull in my window to get rid of this Robin and it would just come back. Yeah, I drew a skull. I drew three skulls and I put them all up there.

And you should have like a chicken, a chicken bone, you know, like when you eat a chicken leg or something, you should just like hung a little bone there like warning. People who came to visit our house must have thought I was a deranged child. He's like, why does your son have a picture of three drawings of skulls in his windows? I was like, to scare off the Robin, it's tormenting me. Is your son's room poisonous? So we go to, we got back to this conversation with Portia, who does not want to be on the

phone with her mother. I mean, just leave Portia alone, you know what I mean? Like, she's taken enough of your shit, Kyle. Just let her live her life. She goes to her dad's one night, you can't just fucking leave her alone. So Portia's like, oh my God, Kyle of course is like, how's your Portia, Portia? Because we bought that for you, so you better answer your fucking phone when I call. Yeah, you know, Kyle is,

Kyle's doing some like high level manipulation, which is she buys her daughter an excessively expensive car for the age. It's disproportionate to her age. Like, I think you cannot, like that car's like $90,000. Again, start with a Nissan or something, a Hyundai. Like, I don't care what it is, but not a Porsche Cayenne. But anyway, she gets her this car like, Oh my God, you have a car.

Now you can be independent. And then of course that comes with, now I get to guilt you because now you've taken your car and driven away from me. So now I'm going to call and bother you for the rest of your life. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's not fair. So she like calls and reminds her, do you remember the car I bought you? Can I come to lunch with you and your sisters? And Portia's like, oh, well, I'm just supposed to be with my sister. Can I come? I mean, where are you going? Do you know where you're going? Like, in case I want to come? Kyle, if they wanted you to go, they would have told you. You're not invited. And then Kyle

at least has the emotional intelligence to be like, I think that they want to talk about the divorce. They want to talk about your crazy ass and how they can block you. While keeping their cars. Yeah, Kyle. We need, like, we need, we need to find something for Kyle. We have to, can we like introduce her to origami or something or just give her something to do with her hands? I'm not sure what it is, but she's, cause she's spiraling. Yeah, she really is. Commercials, here comes one right now. Hey y'all, it's your girl, Kiki Palmer.

And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about new year, new me. Well, on Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, we're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new me. Well, on Baby This Is Keke Palmer, we're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspectives. And honey, it's gonna change your life. I sat down with astrology queen, Channing Nicholas.

Y'all, if you wanna understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different. If you're ready for that New Year New Mindset energy you've got to tune into, baby, this is Kiki Palmer.

Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your wellbeing, check out New Year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby. Welcome to The Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're gonna make some picks, talk some and hopefully make you some money in the process.

I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's gonna work, okay? We're gonna run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like No Offense. No offense Travis Kelce, but you gotta step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football.

Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter. Is it Brandon Iyuk, T Higgins, or Devonte Adams? Plus, on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery+, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery F or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now

by joining Wondery Plus. UFO lands in Suffolk and that's official, said the News of the World. But what really happened across two nights in December 1980 when US servicemen saw mysterious lights in the forest near RAF Woodbridge and claimed to have had a close encounter with an actual craft. Encounters, a new podcast available exclusively on Wondery+, takes a deep dive into one of

the most famous and still unresolved UFO encounters to ever take place in the UK. Featuring shocking testimony from first-hand witnesses, hosts, journalist, podcaster and UFO researcher Andy McGillan, that's me, and producer Elle Scott take us back to the nights in question and examine all of the evidence and conflicting theories about what was encountered in the middle of a snowy Suffolk forest 40 years ago. Are we alone? Encounters is a podcast which is going to find out. Listen to Encounters exclusively and ad which is going to find out. Listen to Encounters exclusively and ad free on Wondry+. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or in Apple podcasts. So then we see how depressed she is because she walks around with her tea or whatever,

her bowl of powder, whatever she's doing. So then she FaceTimes Erika Girardi and just keeps posing herself in the FaceTime picture to get the perfect pose. And I just love when thin people are so insecure. This girl works out 20 times a day. She looks amazing and even she's insecure. So to all the t-shirt pullers out there, you pull out your t-shirt to take a picture, I felt validated.

So thank you, Kyle. I'm a huge Kyle stan after this episode. It was a great one for me. What a twist So she facetimes Erica and Erica is in her standard face timing Uniform which is a robe and like a towel in her hair like this For some reason that's like the only way that Erica seems to answer facetimes So first of all, I have to tell you I am of the view that there is too many people I have taken to calling from the board of directors.

There are too many people in this situation and this is between you, the two of you, and your friendship together, and the rest of us need to butt the fuck out. Oh yeah, I'm telling you, like full minty B. Okay. Is that like mental break? I like Kyle's look out with Kesha one time who has a dollar sign in her name and now Kyle's all street.

What is Minty B? I mean, God, I know we sound old, but like is that like, is that like for mental breakdown? Okay, that's my thought. Yeah. Like Full Blonde Minty B, yeah. That expression is on fleek. So remember when Kyle Richards ruined that for pop culture? Like on fleek. So remember when Kyle Richards ruined that for pop culture, like on fleek was like the

thing and then Kyle came on to Beverly Hills and was like, this is so on fleek. Like, well, that was fun. It was fun while it lasted. Yeah, it's over now. She's like, so demure, please stop. Please just stop. I'm shocked she hasn't said that yet, to be honest. Yeah, she will. We're a little behind, you know, but she will. I believe in her. So she's like, Oh my God, in all my years, I've never treated like this. I've never felt this bad with a group of girls. Kyle, nobody did anything to you. They're asking you questions, you little weirdo. What are we in a cult? What are we in a cult? You're the lady with the A hats on everything. She's like, people don't understand the duress up and going through. First I had to go to Chuck E. Cheese, then I had to go to a spa day and I had to walk out of the spa day.

It's been the worst two days of my life. I got questioned about memes. It's been terrible. So she's like, literally insane. I've had my marriage question, my personal life question, and now my character, my integrity, now you can all fuck off. That's why I draw the line. That is where I draw the line. And Erica's like, oh, figure it out. You know, if you want to figure it out, you can figure it out. If you don't want to figure it out, you don't have to figure it out. Did I not just make it very clear? I don't give a fuck, Kyle. So please stop calling me. Kyle Sivers All I know is I'm going to say what I have

to say to Dreet and I'm not going to continue to discuss this and go down this situation anymore. And if she wants to move forward, great. And if she wants to keep on doing this, then I'm going to disengage from her and that's it. But I'm not going to talk about it anymore. I'm not going to do it. Kyle, I'm not at a Weight Watchers meeting

and I'm sick of being asked to weigh in. I'm not doing it, Kyle. Please stop talking to me. And do you remember when Erica was all depressed after Tom and she moved into her little hovel in West Hollywood where she currently, her sad, sad little hovel that's so, Her igloo.

Her igloo. And the paparazzi was always out there taking pictures and she just went out to try and get like her Taco Bell delivery from DoorDash or whatever. And she just looked like hell. I mean, you know, we've all had those days where we're depressed. But I love that that's how she always looks when she answers the phone. And it kind of makes me like Erica, that she's kind of one of us, you know?

She's just between the times that she has to be somewhere, she's just absolute trash. Like she's got a little crunchy tortilla Supreme or whatever on her corner of her mouth. I mean, it makes me like her more because every time she answers in that dirty bathroom and she's just kind of lying in bed, like, Oh God, do I have to answer the phone? Liar. Pretend you mean, just pretend. You're really having a lot of, a lot of, uh, plot twists on this episode. So far you're like, guys, I'm a stan of Kyle now Erica she's one of us I think I love her this is huge Erica is so funny because she's like they're talking and she goes I will leave

you with this phone call that's like what you say when you sign off on the news or something. And she's like, Kyle, I will leave you with this. If you two come to some resolution, that's between y'all. All of us weighing in is bullshit. Good night and good luck. I like it because she told Kyle 20 times she doesn't want to talk about it and Kyle won't stop talking about it. So she's like, I'll leave you with this stupid. It's done. I said, good day, sir. I said, good day. So Kyle just sighs. And then here I am alone again. The sound of silence. And a bird just like, I feel like that bird, if you really think about it, it's probably like a carrier pigeon that Kathy said, she's like, Oh, I think Kyle would like this. I'm going to send a note with a carrier pigeon.

Oh my God. The bird's trying to get me. So the bird is holding like a little scroll. Kyle opens it and it's a drawing of Kathy at lunch with her daughters. She's like, no man, you haven't invited Kathy. It's the latest song from Morgan Wade. Yeah, I was trying, I was trying to be real discreet and getting you a message. I do feel like we've been robbed of Morgan Wade. I mean she was really such a good character last year. I miss that, hey Kyle, how you doing baby?

Let's get tattooed together. You want a tattoo Kyle? You're real pretty today Kyle. I want a tattoo of you, of your face because you're so pretty right now. I like spicy shrimp. I like boiled shrimp. I like peeled shrimp. I like a peeled shrimp. I like pot-poured shrimp. You wanna go fishing? You wanna go fishing Kyle? I just skinned a squirrel Kyle. So Derrick goes to a restaurant called Koo-Sex which is beautiful, you know, and

tragic because lame as a rob. Yes. Yes, indeed. Is Kazette, I have a question. I don't know if you'll know the answer to this and I feel like I'm putting you on the spot. Is Kazette in that new, um, place in, in, in the valley that they took over the sportsman lodge and made it like the nicest mall of all time.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Where is it? You know, it's like a cold water canyon in Ventura. They put up this beautiful mall. Oh yeah, yeah, I go there all the time. Yeah, I love it. That's where the Ben QNs is. Yeah, that sure is.

I don't think that's in there. I have to say, you know, I've talked a lot of shit about the valley, like a lot of shit. And this may be my new favorite mall in Los Angeles. It is so gorgeous. And it has like everything you need. It's not even that big. It just has what you need. And it's so pretty for a mall.

Yeah, it's got the air one. It's got the sugar fish. and it's got a couple little stores, a candy store, one of those really fancy candy stores. It's got a Roberta's Pizza. Roberta's, I love Roberta's, oh my God. Amazing pizza. What bread, what crust, I mean the chew, the crunch, God, God damn it, I love you Roberta. I just want to say, I just answered my own question, cassette is in fact in this beautiful

mall. I've never even noticed it. Yeah, I just, I don't know. How have I not passed that and been like, because I think it's upstairs. Oh, my dear cassette, I don't feel any pain. So the bartender's like, hey, what do you typically lean towards, light and fresh or heavy or red? I'll just fucking, what do you typically lean towards? Light and fresh or heavy or red? I'll just fucking pour it.

Or typically lean towards. Whatever I lean toward, make sure there's no carcass on it. Here's what I lean towards, alcohol, pour it, okay? More alky, less talky. So Bo's arrives and she's like, hello, boo. Oh my gosh, how cute are you? And Dorita's there, she's like, oh boo. Oh my gosh. How cute are you? And Dorita's there. She's like, oh, you always look so fly.

Yeah, but it's like, you look so fly. She goes, no, you're so fly. Yes, you look like you're in a loyalty program for American Airlines because you're very fly. That's what that means, right? So she's like, hey, Bruce Guy, should we talk about you first? And she's like, no, I couldn't. Let's talk about me last. PK, severe alcoholic, killing me. Let me tell you, a life with not only a moderate alcoholic,

but a severe one. I just can't, Bose. I really can't. What do I tell Jiggy? You know, it's absolutely terrible seeing what alcohol has done to him. Anyway, cheers to you and me. Let's drink these alcoholic drinks. So... Bose...

Because Bose is like, she's like, are you sure you don't want to start? Because I'm feeling an energy and she's like, Well, Bose, now that you say it, I feel like I have been holding up the walls. I've been feeling like I'm just not strong enough. I can fight back. I am. I'm strong, but there's only so much fighting you can do, Bose. I'm holding up the walls!

And she's like, Bose has become my ride-a-die! She's proven to be someone I can talk to, doesn't talk back, listens, nods. It's all I really need. Coin! And Bose is like, well, I don't want to keep bringing up the Kyle thing, but what a bitch, am I right? So listen, there's something that keeps bugging me about something that's being said. Tell me, Bose, tell me! Well, you said that Kyle was one of the first people you told about your divorce, but then she keeps saying she doesn't even know you're having problems. Hmm, hmm, what do you think about that one? So we see a flashback of Dorit sharing her separation

with the group, and then three weeks earlier, we see Kyle's vein popping out and Dorit saying like you knew we were not getting along we're separated and we're not getting along and he goes Erica showed me that you guys weren't getting along I did not know that but then six weeks earlier and we see it sort of again where Kyle's like you guys aren't getting long I like didn't even know that so um Dorit's like there was a in time, this is a year and a half ago, where I was in a really bad time and a moment with PK, and there was a select few people that I trusted enough

to open up to Kyle, and to open up to, and Kyle was one of them. And so then we see a flashback, where she opened it up to Kyle, and she's like, PK has been spending so much time in London, I just, I feel like we're not connected. I feel like my arms are up. There's a roof on it.

I'm holding up the house, Carl. And look, in Carl's defense, because I'm a huge Carl stan now, Carl just doesn't listen to anything. And we've known that for years. Remember when she didn't know who Nanny Kay was? Yax is like, I've been raised by Nanny Kay. Nanny Kay, basically my mother. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. nanny K was. Yes. It's like, I've been raised by nanny K, nanny K, basically

my mother. Nanny K died. Who's that? Who? Kyle. So bad. And then Kyle, yeah, because, you know, Dorit has this whole thing about like, I feel like we're disconnected. I'm like worried about our relationship and Kyle's like, oh yeah, I've had those thoughts. I think it's normal to have those thoughts. It was like this kind of generic line to say, yeah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You're fine. You're fine. Dorit's like, she was well aware. So Bo's tells us, Kyle continues to lie. She's lying about the depth of relationship with PK and what she's saying about Dorit. And she's clearly lying about the depth of her

knowledge about what's going on with PK and Dorit's marriage. And if Kyle is afraid of looking bad, she's looking worse now. Can I tell you, Bo's coming for Kyle in season one is so nice. It feels great. It really is nice. And so she's like, well, this is PK and I decided to separate. There was a room, there were walls, there were my arms holding up a roof.

And under that roof was Piquet, his sponsor, which is a bag of Pringles, and me. And that bag of Pringles said, we're getting separated. I'd never even known before that Pringle told me. It was quite adorable. He put little googly eyes on it and everything and said, this is Mr. Barbecue flavor. And I thought, oh, what an interesting sponsor. He had a lot of things to say.

So she's like, I don't know if it's the sponsor's fault for making PK leave me, or if PK come up with that idea himself. Okay, don't blame the sponsor. And this happens when people like start slowing down on the drinking. All the friends are like, you know what happened? Everything went to shit because you got sober. Thanks a lot. You've ruined my life. You and your sponsor, that little monster. The sponsor, unfortunately was Mauricio. I'm just kidding. It's like, ah, I think you guys should separate so Pique and I can like go to strip clubs.

Okay, great. I don't think that she should blame. She shouldn't blame the sponsor either because the sponsor only knows what Pique tells him or her. And so, you know, they have a totally skewed view. And I don't, it's weird that the sponsor was there for this conversation. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe that is like in a tough conversation if you're in recovery and you're

relatively new to it, maybe it is normal to have a sponsor there. I just feel like the sponsor should be maybe there for you. Okay. I'm talking out of my ass, but I don't really care. I feel like the sponsor should be there for you to catch you if you're like having trouble. You're struggling in that moment. The sponsor, I don't feel like should be there for you to mediate your relationship with your wife. The sponsor should not be living your life for you.

The sponsor should not be breaking up with your wife for you. That's crazy. The sponsor should not be weighing in on this discussion. The sponsor should be there observing so that way when afterwards when PK is feeling a certain sort of way, then the sponsor can say when she said this, how did you feel?

But unless the sponsor is actually a psychiatrist, but even then I feel like it's probably not. Yeah, like a therapist or something, but a fucking sponsor, hell no. If my husband broke up with me in front of a sponsor, I would kill him right there. And the sponsor, I'd kill them both. I'd choke those wrinkles. Now, maybe she meant that PK literally got like a sponsor. Like he got like a FabFitFun box. There was a representative there from FabFitFun and he said the best thing for his brand would be to have a divorce. You know, we love our FabFitFun over here. I'd do it. Now, if I got broken up with by a FabFitFun box, I'd take it.

I'd be like, oh my God, is this a cinnamon candle? Okay, you can go. You can go. But thanks for all the great years. I love the scarf. I'm gonna put it out for you real simply, babe. I've got a new sponsorship. Here's how I feel.

I'm feeling fab. I'm feeling fit. Not feeling fun, babe. So unfortunately, I gotta get the fun back. So we're gonna have to separate. Well, I'd like a fab fit fun box too. I'm the influencer in the, I got you a fab fit fun box. Open it up. All right. Divorce papers. That's right. The sponsor was like nail that batch. that. From the law firm of fab, fit and fun. And squat. So she's, uh, Bozer's like, oh, what a

burden for you to absorb, put up with, defend all the things going on and him for that to be the payback. I spent all these years protecting you, pretending for you. And now you want to tell me we should take some time apart. Give me back all those years. How about that? Give me back all those years. Now that's who you want there when you're getting a separation. I want those to do it for me. You want that person to do that. Listen, I've had it with you. I've added up your hours. They've barely come to 40. And what are you doing out there taking a cigarette break? We're done. This marriage is over.

I've come up with paper clips. I've come up with paper clips. I've come up with, with folder clips. I'm trying to think of things that she could have marketed and I'm really failing. Paper clips and folder clips. Folder clips. What even is a folder clip? You don't have to know because she invented it. It's brand new. I quit. I quit this job. I'm officially out of shit. Who the fuck have I been married to? And severe alcoholic, that's who. Sorry,

I need the answer to my question. So now we go to Garcelle's house and she's getting dressed and everything. And she's FaceTiming Sutton. And she's like, by the way, Sutton, random that Kyle wants to have dinner tonight. May I also add, considering that we are going to be seeing each other tomorrow.

And basically the women are all going up to Garcelle's beach house, which we've never seen before. That's tomorrow. But Kyle, the night before, suddenly is like, hey, Garfans, you guys are like really cool. And I'm having like a little bit of a minty bee. So like, let's have dinner together, huh? And yeah, and Sutton's like, wow, well, Kyle has asked us to dinner, but it's not all of

us. It's just me, Garcelle, Er, Eka. And then we see the flashback of her doing that and she's like, you know what she's doing? She's rallying her troops. She's going to make us feel sorry for her so that we stick on her side. I love that. I love that Sutton like clocks this. And what's also funny is that Sutton is not on Dorit's side.

So you just sort of assume that she's going to ally up with Kyle. But she's also not on Kyle's side. So I'm all in favor of this. I love Sutton's just, you know, burning down, burning it all down this season. Because they show in the preview of coming up and Sutton just becomes the ultimate villain of the season. And I love it. I feel like that's her rightful place. You know, someone just told me, I cannot remember who said it, maybe told both of us. I literally cannot remember, but someone told us, I think like, Oh, I know someone who used

to work for Sutton and she was awful, more awful than you can imagine. I was like, yeah, used to work for Sutton and she was awful, more awful than you can imagine. I was like, yeah, that's why we love her. Like, you think we don't watch the show? We see the show. This is every single thing that I love about Sutton. I know that she's gotta be a monster to work for and that is like the best.

I just love it. The way her eyes flash when she changes her, you know, when she starts getting mad about something or she gets defensive, her eyes literally glaze over and they just go into that little squint and I'm like, oh, little laser, little Southern laser is going to come out of there and get you. They're going to get you. So she's like, uh, Garcelle's like, well, every time we talk about the text, she's just so riled up about it. I mean, how do you think Erica feels about this? And she's like, well,

Erica's going to be like, well, I don't care about the text. If you want to run off, just run off. I don't give a fuck. Not that that was actually a pretty good Erica that she did. Sudden did a good Erica and she pretty much sums up, like she was, it was a good Erica, both in terms of voice and content. Yeah. So Kyle does what she does best to make herself feel comfortable. She goes to a place that's decorated like Lisa Vanderpump's living room, and it's this place with just giant pink flowers hanging everywhere, because that's Kyle's thing.

And so they go to the restaurant and she orders an oat milk vanilla latte. I don't know why that's important to me, but you know what, I'm over oat milk. I've just had it. I'm back to just regular milk. I've had it. I'm back to just regular milk. I'm just, I've had it. I've been, I'm sick of trying to pretend that this is all great.

I am oat milk ascendant, I think, because you know, I'm obsessed with Blue Bottle and I love their Ice Nola, which like the default Ice Nola comes with oat milk and I've tried it with other milks. I was like, oh, oat milk. But it turns out that I really have grown to enjoy the nutty flavor of oat milk and I've tried it with other milks I was like oat milk but it turns out that I really have grown to enjoy the nutty flavor of oat milk specifically in a coffee drink. I don't

think I don't like it as like a with cereal and I definitely do not like an oat milk based ice cream it's just like you're at that point you're just eating ice. That's what I don't like is the ice cream. I do like the oat milk and cereals really good with fruity pebbles. I mean, here's my thing. I'm just, I'm sick of like substituting things I don't need to, you know what I mean? Like, I'm fine with half and half. I like half and half. It's the creamiest. Like, why am I trying to have something to compete with half and half? You can't beat half and half. I mean, if it's a street fight, half and half is going to kick oatmeal's ass. No, oatmeal, oat milk. I have a question, Ronnie. And this is going to come back to the half and half. What do you think is the most romantic food you could find in your

refrigerator? Butter. Why is that? I don't know. It just felt romantic. I love butter. I mean, butter makes everything good, right? I feel like butter is like the perfect thing to date. It makes everything taste good. It stays hard. And then it gets soft when you're done with it. And then otherwise, I mean, it just

makes everything taste delicious. It can make meat taste good. It can make vegetables taste good. It's good on its own if you're drunk. Because I was playing a party game and we had to answer that question. And my friend said, half and half was the most romantic thing in the fridge because it's like two halves coming together. And I was wondering if maybe you were going to say that also, just because you were being very pro half and half right now. No, I guess I should have guessed that since we were talking about half and half. But no, I do see that, you know, and it's also compromise because like half and half, you know, it's like not full heavy cream, but all compromise, which is what relationships are about,

which is why I'm not in fun. I'm a heavy cream kind of a bitch. You're in a heavy cream relationship. So, okay, so Garcel arrived. So now it's just Kyle and Garcel are the only ones there. The producers have clearly held Erica and Sutton in the parking lots, the way Kyle and Garcel can have this conversation. Also, I want to point out, I believe it was like the way this restaurant is set up is that like the table, the booths are kind of like all clustered next to each other.

So I think it was on Kyle's shot, the entire scene, this entire scene, there is like a guy whose head is like right next to Kyle's, which is right in frame. And I was so distracted by it. Did you even notice that? No, it's like a big head. It just keeps kind of banging into Kyle's head. It's like literally if I was podcasting with you right now and then there's someone was like over your shoulder right there the entire time. I was like, is anyone noticing this? There's a man's head right there.

So Garcelle comes in and like the true hero she is at lunch is like, I'll have a kettle, one martini. Don't fucking argue with me. Just bring it. I have to deal with Kyle. All right. So Kyle's like, well, hold on. I'm better than the last time you saw me. You know, I just have so much going on.

My kids have left me. There was a bird that was hanging out with me, but even he left or died. I'm not really sure. It kept banging his head against the moon window, but it's just been so hard. But you know, I just don't like them. It's the French door. The French door, I have to learn how to open. She's like, I don't like that. You know, Bose was questioning me and then Sutton was questioning me and then I have to show a text to everyone. And then Erica was like, hold on a minute. And then, you know, Garcelle went to Bose the day after Chuck E. Cheese. And then I was like, you mean, I mean, you don't even know her. You don't even know her. Why would you go to her house? You literally did even know her. Why would you go to her house? I thought she was going to be a little bit more subtle in the rallying the troops thing, but she's literally like, why would you go to her house? Yeah. Kyle, you went to Bose's house

first actually to make your case. Also, Kyle, you sitting down being like, I just have a lot going on. No, you don't. We just saw you getting scared by the bird. You're walking around with your agave and powder bowl through your house from room to room, getting startled by birds outside. You have nothing going on. That's your whole storyline is that you're having empty nests. You're alone and you're trying to tag along to your 16 year old daughter's lunch date. So please stop trying to act like you are really weighed down with so much. Yeah. You know, schedule-wise. And Garcelle's like, well, I don't feel like me sharing that information was a violation to

Kyle or a betrayal to Kyle. Kyle at Chuck E. Cheese read the text aloud. And that's a sentence I never thought I'd say, but here we are and let me just add something. Wow. Wow. So Kyle's like, I mean, Dorit was coming in and then they're like, they're like, okay, you all sit in a circle and then we're going to like show it to everybody. And I'm like, what is this? What kind of like interrogation is this? And Garth Sells is like, who said that? Well, like what kind of cult is this? That's like my new thing. I'm going to say that you guys are like a cult, even though I've been the one who's been like the leader of like a clique for the past six years on this show But whatever you guys are the cult and Garcelle's like just admit you talk a little shit with PK and it's normal

That's what we do and she's like, but I don't I really don't I really don't and you can tell Because I'm not licking my the corners of my mouth right Okay, so what happened was when you read that text at Chuck E. G.'s, again, shocking, I keep having to say this, but when you read it, you know, you said, I never said anything, I never say anything you told me and never will. And that sounds, Kyle, more like more than memes. She's like, um, so you can't play this game with Garcelle. Garcelle is just going to tell you the truth. And Kyle is just, she doesn't know what to do because she's used to being surrounded by people who

just let her go with her bullshit. You know? And this is the first time that anybody's like, no, Kyle, you're ridiculous. You know? Like, no, Kyle. The first season, I love it. Yeah. Kyle's like, well, first of all, I said, like, obviously I've known the man for like seven years, like eight years, like whatever. And of course I have text messages. It's like, but nothing about her relationship grass cells like I don't know if her story is shifting or if I heard it wrong because all this time Kyle is just Really defending that it's just memes and jokes, huh? And then we see like a montage of her saying memes and jokes is actually a very funny montage because it's just her going guys

All we do is send memes and jokes very funny montage because it just started going, guys, all we do is send memes and jokes. Now a week later, guys, it's just memes and jokes, memes and jokes, memes and jokes, guys, just memes and jokes. But then of course today she's like, well, of course we have more than memes and jokes. Of course we do. She's like, okay, Kyle. So Kyle's like, well, you know, anyway, I've bought to myself, like, I've been screwed in eyes, my marriage screwed in eyes, my sexuality screwed in eyes, you know,

like everything like screwed in eyes, like my character, like is this a cult? Is this a cult? A bird just slams into her head. Ow! Wow, it's like I'm watching the Denise Richard storyline all over again, I totally feel bad for her. So Garcello's like-

Oh, and this was so good when they showed that because she's like, why are you so triggered, Kyle? And she's like, I would never do anything like that. You know, but I was like, I've been a good fucking friend of yours and that's why I don't appreciate the accusation. It's not helping. It's not helping us. And then the editors gave us something they've never given us, which is a Kyle is guilty scene. It's so good. But you know what was brilliant about it? They set it up in a way where they have no blood on their hands because Kyle says, I pride myself on being a very truthful person.

And then we see a montage of Kyle grilling people and demanding them be open and honest. So the fact that they set it up with that line by her, they can say, no, this Kyle, this wasn't a montage to show what a hypocrite you are. It was a montage of how open and honest you are and how you demand the same from others. So it was just so smart the way they did it. The hypocrite montage. So then we see 2020 when they're grilling Denise Richards about

potentially hooking up with Brandy Glanville, which was also questioning someone's sexuality, you know? And Denise is like, everything old in her, I've been on the receiving end of what it feels like being attacked. Oh God, I miss Denise Richard's sentence structure. And Kyle's like, well, when things are brought out in the open, they're out there, they have to be addressed in this group. And that's just it. And then we go to the Erika divorce scene. And Dorit's like, I would like to have the conversations with Erika. And Kyle's like, I mean, she's not gonna like the questions, but that's like, what's gonna have to happen.

She's gonna have to answer more than she's comfortable with because you know what? We deserve to know the truth. And 2022 said, I'm not playing the victim. I'm just talking about being more honest in the group. Okay, open, honest, open, honest, open, honest, open, honest, open, honest, open, honest, open, honest. So we see this beautiful montage of Kyle pressing for more information and saying like, I don't

care if it's uncomfortable, you have to give us the truth and you have to you have to receive these questions. And then we come back and she goes, so for me to be questioned by the women that know me is extremely frustrating to me. It was beautiful. So beautiful. So beautiful. Hello there. This is a two part recap.

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