Watch What Crappens - #2717 RHOBH S1410 Part One: Shock and Augusta
Episode Date: February 5, 2025This is part one of a two-part recap! Sutton brings Garcelle and Kyle to Augusta, GA on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills so that they can meet her mom Reba, and let us just tell you: what... a kind and warm woman. Meanwhile, Kathy hosts a Capri dinner where she learns about Dorit and “PJ”’s crumbling relationship. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer and let me tell you, we're kicking off this
new year with a whole new mindset.
If you're ready for that new year, new mindset energy, you've got to tune into, baby, this
is Kiki Palmer.
If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well-being, check out New
Year New Mindset on the Wondry app. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that
we just love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mantleker, joining me today, Ronnie Karam.
Hey Ronnie, what's going on?
Hi, how are you?
Just fabulous.
Just fabulous.
It's another day in the life of the podcast. We've had
really such a tremendous, tremendous whirlwind week. We are here today to talk Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills. Tomorrow night, we are in Salt Lake City and we are so excited. Salt
Lake City just won our Crappy for best show of the year.
And on top of that, Angie Katsanavis won for best Bravo
Liberty, which was huge.
If you want to see that entire ceremony,
including Ronnie singing as Dorinda to Sunset Boulevard,
be sure to go check out the stream of it,
which is available for another 10 days or so it's on kids.
We are website watch or crap and Zoccom is where you can get a link,
uh, where you can find your link to watch the crappies. I really,
really recommend it because once it's gone, it's gone. Uh,
also it's where you can get your tickets for Salt Lake City and then Denver the
next day. So tomorrow night in Salt Lake City, we are going to of course,
recap the final episode of the Salt Lake City reunion. I mean,
what an honor to do Salt Lake City in Salt Lake City.
Last time we were in Salt Lake City, um,
Heather and Meredith and Seth came to our show.
So I'm very excited for what may happen tomorrow night.
And then on Friday we we are doing Southern Charm.
So it's really gonna be a great blockbuster way
for us to not only end out this week,
but end out this pocket of live shows
that we have done over the past three weeks.
So we look forward to seeing everyone there.
And thank you to everyone who has come to our shows
over the past week and a half, et cetera.
It's been a truly, truly wonderful, wild ride.
Yes. And then after that, in March, we've got a crazy March for touring. We're going
to be in Cincinnati, Ohio, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Toronto, Charlotte, North Carolina, Atlanta,
Georgia, and Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia. So we've got a lot of dates coming up. That all in March?
Oh my God.
That's going to be great.
You know what?
Those shows will be amazing because by the end we're going to be like from all the traveling
we're just going to be wild on stage.
I just know we'll be lunatics.
And we're so happy.
All those cities, we have always had great shows in all these places, so we can't wait
to see everyone again.
So yeah, go check it.
Get your tickets.
And then there's the usual stuff, Patreon, etc.
A bonus episode, we put up Traders.
Traders is we're recapping it.
It went up yesterday.
So if you want your Traders fix, that's where you find it.
That's where it is as well as the videos which we are on today.
Okay, let's get on to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
We open this very special episode, season 14, episode 10.
It's called Sweet Tom Augusta.
And we see a clip.
It's a black and white clip,
which actually PK's face makes a lot more sense
in black and white, doesn't it?
He looks like, I don't know, someone would be banging Mae West in some bordello or something,
some silent picture.
And it's 2016, and he's giving a speech to Dorit in front of everybody on a microphone.
And he's like, Dorito, my darling, as I stand here tonight, welcoming our friends and family, it's not just for Funyun.
It's an opportunity to confess publicly. You sent Pringles up my spine and I'll never cheat on you.
I love you dearly.
Also, we've just adopted a golden cheese doodle.
I was like, I can't think of any sense.
I can't wait to have little baby kids together.
Like Ben, you have three seconds to come up with a snack.
Two, one.
I don't have it yet.
I'm tired.
It's raining in Los Angeles.
My brain's not on.
And I can't wait to listen to your word,
salad for the restaurant.
Damn it, I brought salad into this.
All right, this marriage is over.
I'm done.
I'm done.
Can't take anymore.
Poor crimes, am I right?
So I believe this was the speech that he gave her
during some, was it the renewal of their vows or,
I don't remember what it was,
but I think it was when they were in the J.Lo house
and people had to take the golf carts up the hill
to get to the house.
Yeah.
Is this when they had Boy George hidden behind a curtain,
but they told her, because it was a surprise,
they told everyone there was a black mold situation,
which of course you,
why would you not tell anyone that at your party?
Of course you're gonna tell people you have a black mold situation.
I might be getting my, my PK and Dorit parties mixed up, but, um,
I'm not really sure, but yeah, I will never forget the black mold. So then, um,
we see another scene in their bedroom where he's like, you look unbelievable.
You look radiant. You look gracious. And she's like, thank you PK.
And he's like, I was talking to this nigger's bar actually,
but love your sweater, darling.
And then we see Jagger when he was a toddler and everything.
And then Piquet's like,
Jagger, what do you think son? Yes or no?
And she said, what do you think Jagger?
And Jagger was like, yes.
He's like, no, I was asking you about
whether I'll have to buy mommy another car. So that's what we can say now. And then, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I a cute kid. And I'm so glad he's kind of growing out of PK face because I remember watching this
and being like that poor thing, what a long road to hell.
But it's all working out for him in the end.
So Dorit's getting choked up.
And then we see Dorit surprising PK for his birthday.
And now it's her turn to make a grand declaration of love.
And she's like, PK, you bring so much color,
so much purpose to my life, a life
that's seemingly impossible to live if you weren't by my side of potatoes.
There, I needed to get you to pay attention, so focus.
I never knew someone so pasty could bring so much color to my life, but there you go.
And then the Beverly Beach fashion show. Yeah we see all the models and
everything and she's like my husband I was just thinking about my husband and then PK walks in and
she's like.
Oh, Bob-a-lee, oh, Bob-a-lee. It's Angeles.
Imagine walking up and seeing Beverly Beach.
So private.
No!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're basically corporate.
America all wrapped up in one fabulous thing.
But like this.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Bob-a-lee.
Bob-a-lee. That was one of them. I mean. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I believe.
That was our most current Duree sound clip
when she met,
when she met both.
Your corporate America wrapped up in one fabulous package.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
It's like she's like a car
that's about to run through a stop sign
and just slamming the brakes. Like she gets so excited, she slams on her brakes.
So all she's thinking about during Beverly Beach
is her husband.
You know, the last thing I want to think about
when I think about people in bathing suits
is your husband, okay?
Keep PK out of this conversation, please.
Cover-ups, maybe.
Sheets, fine.
Also, I'm like really upset that this random montage,
which I don't know why we have this montage
right in the middle of the season, but sure.
I don't know why this random montage did not feature
one of my favorite PK quotes of all time.
Punta Cana, that's where you go.
Punta Cana, that's where it's at, babe.
Punta Cana. That's where it's at, babe. That's where it's at, babe.
That's where you go, babe.
Yeah, this was one of those things that's trying to convince us that PK and Dorit have
this whirlwind romance that we're now missing out on.
And they never did, guys.
I'm sorry.
But I don't know how much money this man convinced Dorit that he had, but every time she's like,
all I think about is pinkie.
I just, I'm sorry, I can't buy it.
No, neither can PK.
You're in love with the type of cottage cheese who owes money to literally like if you've
never seen a tub of cottage cheese get its knees broken for past debts to the Bellagio,
you're in for a treat, Dorit.
And not even, not even the good good cottage cheese the small curd cottage cheese
Yes, I like cottage cheese. Yeah
Skin cottage cheese you might know must will be eating spackle. However, full fat cottage cheese delicious delightful delicious
I love full fat cottage cheese creamy wet. I love it.
I love everything about it.
Yeah, me too.
I'm a cottage cheese fan.
I still wouldn't date PK though.
Okay, so then we get to the home invasion where Dorit's sobbing outside and PK's like,
get over it, babe.
Like, seriously, what's wrong with you?
And then she's discussing her trauma and he's like, well, you've been through a really traumatic
thing and you also have a lot of fear that's not rational. For example, every time I come out of the bathroom in my underwear, why'd you
scream? And there's like, you know, there are also elements I don't really consider to be PTSD. I
consider that they're more obnoxious, you know, like, I don't know, telling everyone that I'm a
You know, like, I don't know, telling everyone that I'm a raging alcoholic. Yes, yes, that is what it is what you are.
So then severe, extremely severe, a lot of control alcoholic.
So then we see a clip of Dorit talking to Kyle saying, I started to feel, is it possible
that PK and I would not make it?
You know, ever since, ever since the supermarkets stopped carrying pickle chips, he's been in a foul
mood and I'm just not sure we're going to go all the way.
Yeah, it was a real shocker that a man who left his family to get with some young blonde
chick is now leaving his family.
Again, shocker, patterns, okay?
Pick better, get a better picker.
Now that said, I like Dorit and I do feel bad for her. Mostly because she's going to be poor now.
I mean, she was poor with PK2, but he had a way of faking it that I don't think she's learned. You know?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. So now we fast forward to now, and we're at Kathy Hilton's home, and Dorit, Boze,
Kathy, and Erica are eating dinner and discussing a divorce. And Boze is like, do you not think he still wants to be married to you?
And Dorit is like, no, no, I don't.
And I know this, if I have to go to war, I will go to war.
Now, which country will I be fighting for?
I'm not sure, it depends on what my accent is that day.
But once you get to that head space,
it's not going to be easy to pull back.
And Erica's like, ding, ding, ding, get out, get out.
So one week earlier, we're at Kyle's house
and Kyle's trying to wash one of her gigantic hairy dogs.
And she's like, Storm, why do you smell disgusting?
Oh God, Storm stop running away.
I'm like, she wants to hose him off,
but she only washed his back.
She didn't even wash the sides.
Get, I mean, girl, just hire somebody.
You're rich as hell.
Yeah.
Hire someone or like give the dogs to someone who knows how to take care of these things.
These dogs are always running away from her.
She has, they're at, they're totally out of control.
They eat everything inside.
Like, look, I know dog.
Yes.
Yes.
Dogs eat everything, but these dogs are particularly out of control and she always is acting like
it's so charming.
Remember when they went to like Palm Springs or like Kinta or something and that dog was just eating everyone's sandwiches?
That is not charming. Like get your dog to finishing dog school, okay?
Because you don't know how to control your dogs and now you've got this dog with a soapy bag running around everywhere.
Like you don't, you're not a dog, you were not equipped for dogs. You were not a dog person.
I know dog people. I see Ronnie, I see other friends. They know how to deal with dogs, but your dogs keep running away from
you because they know you're not, you're not their people. So like just give it up. Okay.
We get it. We get it. Like you're not, okay. We see you did the Lisa van der Pram thing.
You did the swings. You got the dogs. You, you, you tried everything. Okay. You became
friends with PK over to read. You did the Lisa van der Pram thing. It's over. Okay, you became friends with PK over Duree. You did the Lisa Vanderpump thing. It's over.
Okay, let's take down.
Just go into your foyer and stare at your neon art
and call it a day.
Go work on your salmon.
That's what I say.
Yes, actually work on the salmon.
That could, you definitely need to work on that, yeah.
So now we go to Martin Lawrence, beloved fabrics.
And Eric goes with Martin Lawrence, blood fabric.
And Eric is with Martin Lawrence and he's like, your total for this is 37,000 individually wrapped
bell peppers from Fresh and Easy.
Oh, I've been storing them in my freezer.
I hope that wasn't too much of a shock for you.
Okay, now I enjoyed the little Duret, uh,
the history of Duret and PK montage that we had at the top of this episode for no
good reason,
but I think I would have liked some of that time dedicated to more Martin Lawrence
Ballard. Like how are we just relegating him to these little clip?
We need like full scenes of him every episode.
Yeah, I need more of him as well. And she's like, well, that's real expensive,
but I got the money. It's not like, well, that's still expensive, but I
got the money. It's not like I got a hook on sunset for it or nothing.
He's like, oh, well, I also bought you some wallpaper from Inja. It's gonna cost you 45,000
extra dollars. Sharon Osborne recommended it.
Then we go over to Kathy's house and she has an IV strapped to her and she's calling bows.
And there's a woman, you know, puffing her arms,
rubbing lotion all over her.
There's another woman doing her nails,
another woman doing her hair,
another one pulling her head back with a chip clip
just to keep the forehead up.
I mean, the woman has everything.
I was trying to add up, how much does this cost?
How many people could you feed?
How many of Kyle's dogs could you rescue with that money?
Yeah, every season, Kathy's doing something else.
One season it's Kathy lying in bed with a big box fan,
but this season it's Kathy in her cryogenic chamber
being resuscitated.
Watching her daily maintenance in that chair
is so fascinating to me.
It feels like some sort of like Cronenberg,
like the sci-fi gross out of it, you know?
And it's just more and more every time.
I mean, she's gonna eventually just have one of those full
like car washing machines, you know,
where the big things come out and like,
frishoof, frishoof, frishoof, frishoof.
And then a little squeegee comes down
and starts working on her face.
I mean, by the end, she's just gonna be be ahead, you know, and she's going to be like
on a bowling ball sack that they're just polishing.
I fully, fully can imagine Kathy Hilton just like plopping down her chair in a car wash
and just going through it.
Like everything you just said, like the things flapping at her face and then the metal thing at the end,
that's like right up her head. She's like, okay,
like I would have all the dead cells. Yeah. Just, you know, take her out,
back vacuum her off, call it a day.
Hang a little pine pine tree on her and send her off.
What do I smell like?
Coconuts the peanut colada smell.
So she's having a party, a little dinner party,
and she's inviting bows and she's like,
so what are you wearing around her neck?
Are those puka shells?
Are they pearls?
What's going on there, dear?
And she's like, these are diamonds, honey.
Oh, okay, oh.
And then we go to Sutton's house and Garcelle is there
and they're just saying hi and everything.
And I'm talking about their clothing.
There's a lot of highs you have to sort of wade through.
Sutton goes, well, I want to see if maybe
you would come with me to Augusta and meet my mother.
And Garcelle's like, oh my God, Reba,
this monster of a woman that created you.
It'd be my honor to say to her, no, no, no Reba.
And miss the opportunity to see the ground zero of your emotional terrorism.
No, I'll be there.
I'm a little nervous about your mom, but other than that, I'm really good.
She goes, well, now listen, I love my mother, but she's very difficult.
Yes, Sutton, we see how you turned out.
We understand.
You don't have to say that part out loud.
My mother and I have sort of found ourselves in a bad place in the past 10 years.
And then we see a picture of Sutton and Reba embracing, but then we see a flashback where she's crying
and she's saying, I know my mother loves Christian.
She says that, but does she love me?
She loves Christian's money.
I love Christian's money.
I don't even fucking know the guy
and I choose him over you.
I mean, what do you have?
A cute dog, I take your dog.
I take your dog.
You've got Ari in an empty house.
I will take
Christian's money any damn day of the week, okay? Shit, I'd take Christian's money over
half the people I know.
I have been resentful about my mother's praise on Christian even after we were divorced.
Oh, did you see Christian did this in the Wall Street Journal or the New York Times?
And I'm like, yeah, but do you remember my store in West Hollywood? Give me some praise. Well, okay.
Okay. I am not going to take away from you, son, that your mom is very difficult and your mom should be praising you and giving you love. But like when someone does something that's in the Wall
Street Journal, like I do think it's like slightly more impressive than like the little boutique you
opened up on Almond. I'm sorry. No, sir. No, sir, that is your mother taking the side
of the fucking man.
Oh hell no, I would.
Well, no, I'm just saying in general,
like I feel like it's,
I thought this was when they were married though, right?
Or no, oh no, the store came afterward.
No, the mom's still bragging about his ass.
She's like, hey honey, you know what Sutton
really should have done if she was smart
and she really needed validation from her mother is just name the store Christian, because then her
mother would be like, oh my god, Christian's doing so well, you know, Christian is such a success.
And Sutton would be like, oh my god, thank you so much, mother.
Pete Slauson Well, listen, it's shitty that the mom is even talking about Christian
to Sutton, but there was something about Sutton saying this that felt like she was like,
the implication was that like her store in West Hollywood
was like as impressive as like these giant,
whatever things are happening.
So like, I just thought it was funny also because like,
I just feel like Sutton just shows up to the store
for the show and then she like does her scene
and then goes home.
Like I think that Sutton's stronger case would be like,
yeah, did you see me at BravoCon?
Did you see the fact that I have lines of fans outside
the, you know, like lining up for me at BravoCon,
like signing autographs and I'm famous now and I'm on TV.
Like that's a stronger case than like,
did you see my store at Hollywood?
I don't know because the mom seems attached
to material things.
So I think she would get a store,
whereas the BravoCon thing I think would make her throw up. I think she's probably so
mortified that her daughter is on The Real Housewives, you know?
That's probably true.
She just seems like that kind of snob who's like, we are private people,
sudden. Private people. Private dancers, dancers for money. Do what you want me to do.
Do what you want me to do.
Yeah. I mean, you buy one plantation house for a woman and she's yours forever. Jesus Christ, Reba.
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial.
Everyone out there should listen to Small Town Murder.
You really should, mainly because you never know who's next door.
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Really, you never know who is next door. You never know what's gonna happen on small town murder
That's what makes it so wonderful. The only thing you do know is that people are gonna die
Yeah, and we're probably gonna make jokes about it. That's it. That's all we can promise you
We dig into these towns
We see what makes them tick, from local legends to scandals they may have had.
And of course, the biggest scandals of all,
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Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys on this podcast,
we're going to make some picks, talk some s***,
and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar.
So here's how this show's going to work. Okay?
We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football
matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like no offense, No offense, Travis Kelce, but you gotta step up your game if Pat Mahomes
is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series
of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards
like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter.
Is it Brandon Iyuk, T. Higgins, or Devonte Adams?
Plus on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus where I share
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So then Sutton's like, well, I'm going to see my mother
and I thought you might wanna join us.
And she's telling Kyle now.
And Kyle's like, me?
You want me to come?
I'm gonna come in too.
So I guess Kyle just please don't bring your dog, okay?
Yeah, it's sort of surprising that Sutton is bringing Kyle Should I kiss Kyle? Just please don't bring a dog. Okay. Yeah.
It's sort of surprising that Sutton is bringing Kyle,
but I think it's A, she wants to flex and show
this big house that she has down in Georgia,
and B, she's in a fight ultimately with DeRiette,
so she has to unfortunately be on Kyle's side,
so this is who she's got.
But we're, and C, Jennifer Tilly must have been busy,
because this was clearly a Jennifer Tilly slot that Kyle took up.
Or her mother's just like, not that Jennifer girl.
I swear to God if you bring that Jennifer girl, because you know Jennifer is like, oh
my God, what a lovely doll that you've got here.
What's her name, Reba?
Put some champagne in her hands.
Hey, hit her on the head with this person shaped like a
boat. Dolls love the ow! Get that little mogul out of my house.
I really love your asymmetrical hairline. Those bangs, they're very much like Glenn
Close in that horror movie. I thought you looked fabulous in that. Was that character
based off of you? Never have her back here.
People, I'd love to show you one of the films I've started. It's called bound.
That's there it is. That's what that's that's that was the moment where Jennifer Chile was
uninvited. Well, I'm going to see this. I want to see what sort of feature films this
Oscar nominated actress was in. Okay, this one child's play. Oh, oh, this I don't remember.
Okay, Bound, this one's more correctly.
Oh, oh, yeah, she's not invited anymore.
Sounds like it's so fun.
Augusta, I mean, it's a special place.
I even have a porch so we can just sit on the porch
and we can use the BB gun daddy bought me to shoot maids
as they go home from work.
Great times, great times.
Yeah, yeah, I love Augusta.
They've got a tiny little airport, which we'll get to,
but when she brags about how she loves
that the airport's so small,
never heard anyone ever say that.
Well, we all like a small airport, like Burbank Airport,
that you can go in and out of,
but when they get too small, that's not good.
I hate a teeny tiny airport,
because then you go,
because you have to still get there
at the same amount of time as a regular airport,
but you don't have any amenities.
You're just sitting there in like a plastic chair,
like uncomfortable for 90 minutes.
Yeah, there's nothing to eat there.
I do like the El Paso, Texas.
That's where I'm from and I love their airport.
It's small-ish.
It's gotten a little bit bigger over the years,
but they have a knife shop, you know?
There's like tacos and knife shops. What? They have a knife shop in the airport?
What happened?
You can get your turquoise, you can get a knife. It's like 9-11 never happened.
Yeah. Yeah. That's wild.
Oh gosh. So where are we here?
She's like, well, Garfell and Kyle, they're the perfect women to take with me because
basically both of their mothers have passed and I can say, well, Garfdale and Kyle, they're the perfect women to take with me because basically both of their mothers have passed
and I can say, well, what's worse?
This one still living?
Sorry, that's so dark.
But I did think that was a little odd
and actually I didn't think of it until I read it
in a comment on Reddit where they were like,
she was like, why would they be the perfect ones to take
when their mothers have both passed?
It's just such an odd choice, you know what I mean?
Because when you complain about your mother, and I've made this mistake before, because you know,
my mother and I complaining about each other is our past time. That's just what we do. It's in our
DNA. My grandmother was the same way. And that's just how we love, you know, we bitch about each
other behind each other's back and to each other's face, to be fair. But you're not supposed to do
that in front of people who have lost
their parents. Like it's so disrespectful. And so it's weird that she's like, you know
what? I'm going to take two of the people who have suffered the worst loss that a child
could suffer to meet my mother and let's see who's got it worse.
Well, I have to assume that she was thinking, you know, they have not had any sort of like motherly, they haven't
had motherly energy in their life recently. And so this way they can remember what it's
like. Sometimes people do that, but it's weird to do that with Reba when Son's like, she's
tough. She doesn't love me. She loves my ex. She actually doesn't even remember my name.
Anyway, I'm going to introduce her to my friends and they can get her maternal instincts.
I can kind of understand the Carl choice because Carl's mother was a battle axe too,
from everything that we've read about her. So it might be a fun competition to be like, well,
my mother loves my husband more than me. Carl could be like, well, my mother loved Justine Bateman more than me, so. Who wins?
Well, my mother was trying to poison
one of my ex-boyfriends.
Really?
Because my mother fed nails to one of her ex-husbands
to try and kill him.
So.
I think for Kyle, it's purely just a flex.
Like, look Kyle, I'm gonna show you just a side house
I happen to have that has columns. It costs, wait, look Kyle, I'm gonna show you just a side house I happen to have
that has columns, it costs me like,
wait, how much do these columns cost?
So-
Let me show you one of these houses
how they were originally built, Kyle.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this is, you have the Universal Studios version
of my house.
Yeah.
That's cause I was in Halloween,
aw, I'm a working actress, aw, I was on ER, aw.
We didn't even have to pay anybody to build mine.
Yeah, exactly.
So Grosselle is like, um, she's like, well, you want to be gentle.
She is 82 after all.
And so I guess, Oh, well, wait till you meet her.
She does not need to be treated with kid gloves.
More like a, more like a, one of those electric prods that treated the
velociraptors within Jurassic park.
Let me tell you, I've known a lot of people
who have met Reba, but there hadn't been one of them
that didn't feel like Newman in Jurassic Park
when that woman met their gaze.
She'll spit on you.
So Kyle's like, yeah, she's not giving me feeble vibes.
Oh no, she's not feeble.
She is not.
She is not feeble Bryson.
So Kyle is like, she's like, well, we best get to work.
I'll bring some psychology books.
So they all laugh.
Now we go to Dorit's house and Bose comes over
and Bose is like, hello, my darling, we're matching.
And guess what? I invented matching, you're welcome.
She said, well, you're such a vision.
Okay, let's sit down, girl, because we need to talk.
So this is Winnie, who is this one?
This dog over here, that's Pumpkin.
Winnie, Pumpkin, I don't care.
I don't like either one of them.
So we had so much fun at the beach.
Do you want to talk about how much fun you had at the beach?
And so we see fun times at the beach.
And then we come back and we see fun times at the beach.
And then we come back and we see the flashback of Dorit saying,
This morning Jigga said, Are you and daddy divorced?
There's no sour cream and onion chips in the pantry.
Does that mean daddy's not coming home?
Because usually that's his bat signal, that it's free to come home.
He can smell them from London.
It's crazy.
Normally if I just put some Rotel and Velveeta in the microwave, he suddenly appears in the
doorway.
It's like saying Beetlejuice three times.
Rotel, Rotel, Rotel.
May be calling me. times. So Dorit's like, well, you know, that, that day, the way she came in, it was like, so
briefly, she just shut me down.
But honestly, shut up sometimes.
You know what I mean?
I'm sorry.
I'm team Garcell on this one.
Just brevity.
You know what I mean?
Make it shorter, sister.
You have a whole van, you have a whole van ride,
a Sprinter, you're gonna be able to tell the whole story.
Yeah, you have a ride to Ventura County
to talk about Piquet, for Christ's sake.
Do we have to do it during charcuterie?
Just let me eat my goddamn sandwich, woman.
I mean, were they at Dorit's?
It doesn't matter.
So Boze is like, well, did you call Piquet? Did you tell matter. So Bo's like, well, did you call P.K.?
Did you tell him?
And Dorit says, well, what Jag, I said, I sent him a long text.
I said, I know you're coming back from London soon and I think it's really a good idea for
us to get to a more friendly place, you know, for the kids and it will be easier for them.
And then I never heard back from him.
So then a day later I wrote back and I said, no response BK, really no response?
And then he writes back, I'm at your friend's wedding, have a nice day, have a nice day,
when did I become the enemy? Oh gosh, two years ago? I think two years, I mean it's been like two
years that he's hated her right? Yeah, it's probably been longer. So she says, I haven't heard a single word from PK
since he stormed out of the office
when I ran out of popcorn.
And then we were in therapy and he did that again.
And I mean, I said, PK,
you're not allowed to bring popcorn to therapy.
And he screamed and he left there too.
He said he wanted a divorce.
But then he came back and got his popcorn.
He said, one person I'll never divorce,
popcorn, where?
I knew I should have never made that up. got his popcorn. He said, one person I'll never divorce, poop-corn! Well!
I knew I should have never made...
Get back to Jiffy! He was talking to the corn!
I knew I never should have made some kettle corn while he was gone.
At the therapist's office.
Strange, it's just instinct now when you marry to him.
Well listen, here's my concern. You need to be prepared.
Because his return from London, it could go left.
It could go right.
It could go up.
It could go down.
You know what I mean?
That's what we say in business.
Yes.
It's like him trying to stay in a lane.
He could go left or to go right.
You know, it's hard with his car.
So, uh, she says like, yes, and then he could serve papers and
Poole goes, Oh girl, what happens?
I think it better all the time.
Him serving papers.
I don't want to eat papers.
Why would he serve me that?
So then we go to Boze and Keely arriving at Boulevard steak house, or as I like to
call it, moved.
And, uh, so they're going to have some dinner and this is is her date Keely. Now I do not get the best
vibes from this guy. Like look want Bose to be happy? This is not the guy for you. I hate his
shirt. Let's just start with the shirt. Hate it. Cheetah. Cheetah print. Nope. I hate his whole
tacky cheesy vibe with her. I hate that he wants her to have three children at 48. That's fucking crazy, sir.
Okay. Yeah. Also, you're old too. Just stop it Al Pacino. Nobody wants your babies running around
this old and no offense because people can have babies that age. I know that and good for you,
but just dating someone and being like, here's what I expect from you. Three children have fun.
No, did he say that? Did he say that when they went on their date on the beach that he wants three
children? I think he that he wants three children?
I think he said he wants three children.
Yeah, that's in my memory.
He wanted three.
Well, he better hurry up.
He better hurry up because she's like,
I am in my late 40s.
So they're sitting down, they talk about relationships
and timelines and she's like,
trying to find somebody to connect with in LA
in your late 40s.
Oh, damn near impossible.
So I appreciate my relationship with Keely.
We are in our love bubble.
Everything is fantastic.
We are definitely a goo goo, a gaga, a boo boo
and a baba, lala and a lila, left, right, left.
She's like, all right, we need to have some conversations.
It feels like we're hurdling some things, you know, if we go all the way to fertility.
And he's like, well, when did you at what point did you feel I was wasting your time?
Because I'm not going to say I'm going to waste your time.
I'm not saying that.
And she's like, and I guess, do you feel that there's a timeline?
She's like, well, I mean, I'm I'm 47 where the eggs, they're getting older.
I have old eggs and babies don't grow on trees.
You've got to get moving.
All right.
The egg shortage is not just at the supermarket.
So let's get this going.
All right.
Get out of San Diego and come up to LA.
I'll say that's where probably she feels like you're wasting time
because you're still in San Diego.
So that would be the first good move would be
to come up to Hollywood.
And she says, well, you know,
if I want to carry a baby myself,
I don't have a lot of time to do that.
And then I don't want to be out of wedlock.
And he was like, yeah, I know.
I mean, we're on the same page, you know,
I think you're an incredible woman.
And I love the fact that you're not
pressuring me into anything.
If I'm not pressuring you into anything,
I'm failing my job.
Put a baby in me.
No kidding, like, shit her, get off the pot.
You know what I mean?
And she's basically telling him that.
She's like, if you want babies,
we've got to get married first, so what's up?
And he's like, oh, thanks so much for not pressuring me.
This dinner is over.
Bye.
I would love.
The next thing that comes to this table,
better be a baby or the check.
Yeah.
I mean, I really like her.
I think she's wasting her time with this fucking loser.
I get very clear loser vibes from this guy.
Yeah.
So now we go over to the Oak Tree Gun Club and Shooting Range, which is open to the public.
And it's a shooting range, which is open to the public. And it's a shooting range. And
so Kyle is there with, uh, with Mauricio, um, because he wants her to, uh, be equipped
with a gun, know how to use a gun ever since, because for some reason, um, it's been seven
years, but suddenly they've decided that it's time for Kyle to be better with home security,
I guess maybe because she's on her own now. So it's been seven years since they had their home invasion. Honestly,
okay. I know gun control, gun rights, all this stuff is a very controversial topic.
People are very divided in this. I have my own views, which other people have their own
views. But I think one thing that we can all agree on, like, yes, the second amendment
says we have the right to bear arms. But I think we, there should be an amendment to
the amendment that says, but maybe not Kyle, because I guess what I don't think I don't
see anything good about Kyle having a gun. Kyle Richards with a gun in the middle of
the night, that is just not going to end well for anyone. Let's just make that let's ratify
this constitution
and just say, right to bear arms except Carl Richards.
Yeah, and you know, there should be certain laws.
Like we know that there are laws regarding guns
and there should be a special law to not be able
to have a gun when there could possibly be a Kim
around the house.
That's it.
Oh gosh, Kyle, with those big dogs running around,
startling her.
I mean, she gets startled by everything that moves.
I mean, first of all, just for bird safety,
she shouldn't have a gun, okay?
Yeah.
Cause guess what?
Those birds are about to fuck around and find out
with Kyle and her little, you know, magnum.
So, but she's there to learn how to shoot a gun.
Also, this is such a Kyle scene
cause she's like, look at me.
First of all, she's having some weird scene
where she's kind of flirting with Mo.
It's like this like, poor me.
Mo doesn't like me anymore.
So she's giving that vibe in the scene,
but she's also dressed like she's flirting with Morgan
and going to a gun range.
Yeah.
Not to be stereotypical,
but we never really saw Carl dressing
in this like tough girl manner until she started dating Morgan or allegedly dating Morgan.
And so that's kind of weird.
It's like she's flirting with the ex-girlfriend if she was dumped and if they were dating,
fucking Kyle stories, I can't take them.
And then she's got the Mauricio thing and then she's like, look at me, just a girl.
I mean guns, girls?
Yeah. I mean, maybe girls should learn to use guns,
but she clearly knows how to use that gun.
I mean, you see her use the gun.
I'm like, damn, you know how to shoot a gun, girl.
That's, that's what I see.
This is how I shoot guns.
Ow, oh God.
It's called the recoil idiot.
I'm like, oh God, you had to be so strong for one of these, take me home. It's called the recoil idiot. Oh god
And cows like
My hands get to learn for Halloween
You know, I I thought this whole scene was annoying because first of all, it felt like to midlife crisis. He's colliding
You already just like you described Kyle's perfectly and then you have Maur, who's like, yeah, I'm like single and in midlife crisis. So he's being like all tough.
He's got his tight t-shirt on.
And he does this thing later on in the scene
where he like, for some reason feels like
he needs to climb over the fence
and then do the rest of the scene from behind the fence
of the shooting range.
Like sort of this-
Oh, you didn't see why?
Because-
Was he hiding something?
He sat up on the table, right, to talk to Kyle.
And then she jumped up on the table next to him
and he immediately jumped off the table
and jumped to the other side.
So I think he's got a girlfriend
that he doesn't want to see him.
He doesn't, who doesn't want to see him
getting close with his ex.
I don't want to see either of them.
Why don't they just stand there like two normal people?
Why does one, why do they both have to sit on the fence?
And like, why are you on the other side of the fence?
That's like, you're not supposed to do that.
You're at a shooting range, okay?
And it just always, it just has this annoying bravado.
And Kyle's like, well, if I'm gonna defend myself,
I hope I look like a badass.
And like, I hate that.
Like, I hate that.
I hate like associating, like shooting a gun off
with being a badass.
I think that's such a terrible thing.
Does not look like a badass.
I'm sorry, well, welcome to America.
Yeah, well, that's the problem. You're's the problem skip like 80% of movies then I know
I know but I just feel like like defend yourself fine
But like I don't think it makes you look like a badass
But either way it just everything annoying about the scene
but the thing that annoyed me the most was that we had to sit through an entire scene with
guns going off the time they were like I'm trying to have a conversation like
guns going off the entire time. They were like, I'm trying to have a conversation.
It was like,
phew, phew, phew, phew.
Like, could we have, could we have for once moved
into like every scene on Bravo,
they always start someplace and they're like,
let's go inside where it's shadier.
And like this is the one time they decided
not to move locations and we had to hear gunshots
the entire scene.
The audio department must have been losing their mind.
It reminded me of when that Peggy chick, Peggy Tanis,
which was the one who went on and her first scene
was like shooting guns at the gun range
with all her tats and her big boobs.
Was that like-
I think that was Peggy Tanis, yeah.
Yeah, it was Peggy Tanis.
It kind of reminded me, I was like, wow,
Kyle's going down to Peggy Tanis levels.
Well, here we go.
Glad to be here for it.
So they go to the shooting range and I guy loved that the shooting range guys like so
Why are you here at the range?
For fucking muffin lunch you idiot. What do you think i'm here for let's shoot some fucking guns
Less questions more pain mastery bring me the gun, bitch
So they shoot the guns off and everything.
And then Mo's like, oh yeah, now I'm gonna shoot my gun.
Yeah, cause I'm in the midlife crisis.
Okay.
So then he's shooting his gun.
And you know that, I'm sorry to interrupt you,
but you know that Dere and PK,
you know that PK at the very least
was like cringing at this, watching it at home.
Cause the guy goes, all right,
now here's how you get the magazine in.
Slap it like it owes you money.
Oh, I've been slapped quite a bit by George.
Fallaccio.
Fallaccio slaps her.
Bye, babe.
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So they shoot and then Kyle's like, like, how's your condo coming together?
He's like, yeah, it's like pretty good.
It's like to get nice.
Like I've got like eggs and you know, like a lot of corn soups and she's like canned
soups.
He's like, yeah, I like tomato or like whatever.
She's like, I didn't even know they made those sorts of things.
Oh, well, either way, it's really quiet over in our place.
Like there are doors that we don't even know how to open still of things. Oh, well, either way, it's really quiet over in our place. Like there are doors that we don't even know
how to open still.
And you're like in a new place.
It just feels new and different from our home.
And I'm in like the same place.
It just feels like it's just like different.
Kyle's crying.
They're trying to out-victim each other.
Yeah, and Kyle's trying to-
They're out-victim each other.
He's like, I'm eating tomato soups out of cans
and maybe an egg.
And she's like, the house is so lonely.
out of guns and maybe an egg. And she's like, the house is so lonely.
She is, she gets sad and she's gonna start to cry.
And the implication is that she's home alone and it's sad.
But I think she's crying because Marisa got to get
a new place and she didn't get to get a new place.
I think that's really what it comes down to.
She even says that at one point.
She's like, well, it's not fair.
Well, she doesn't say it's not fair, but she's like,
I mean, everything's new for you.
You have this new place and then I'm just in the home.
I'm in the home where we all lived.
Well, you're the one who didn't wanna move
and you're also the one that wanted this divorce.
Now here's what's making me crazy about this
as if I haven't said it 9,000 times
because the scene keeps happening in different forms.
But it's funny reading online
and trying to decipher what people are thinking
because some people are like, oh, he definitely cheated on her and that's why she left and trying to decipher what people are thinking because some people are like,
oh, he definitely cheated on her
and that's why she left and this and that.
And from what she's kind of dropped hints about,
it's made it sound like that,
but she won't outright say it,
which leaves it open to all this speculation,
which leads me to believe that she was a cheater there.
Just, I'm sorry.
And I'm sure he's probably cheated multiple times
over their relationship.
But I think going on Instagram and hooking up with some girl that she liked is what she
accused him of.
And I just feel like she's a cheater because I feel like if he was a cheater, she'd a
hundred percent be throwing him under the bus instead of just hinting and trying to
make us believe it.
Yeah.
I don't know.
So she's what it is.
And where is Morgan?
Did Morgan dump her?
Like, what's happening?
I need to know what's happening. We have so many scenes with Kyle and we don't know what it is. Where is Morgan? Did Morgan dump her? Like what's happening? I need to know what's happening.
We have so many scenes with Kyle
and we don't know what's happening.
Just tell me what's happening
so I can stop speculating nonsense.
I think Morgan is busy working on her whiskey still
in the back barn.
So-
She's totally one of those like,
I make my own beers in the backyard.
Everybody's gotta have a hobby.
I'm really trying to work on the hops.
Sorry Kyle, making some moonshine right now.
I'll call you back later.
Yeah.
So we see a montage of Kyle and Mauricio's greatest hits
for like the 45th time this season.
We get it, we've seen it, we don't care.
And then Kyle's like, it really is like grieving the loss
of someone who is still there.
I'm like, I know, it's like,
it's every time I think about Rinna,
I'm like, I feel like she's dead,
but I know she's alive somewhere, but she's blocked me.
So I don't know, is she alive?
Is she dead?
Is she dressed like a clown somewhere?
Actually, the last one,
she is dressed like a clown somewhere.
She is.
That's exactly the truth.
She is going to fashion shows.
And the most recent article I read on her was this weekend.
And it's like, look how many different wigs
that Lisa Rinna wore at the fashion shows.
And then it just cuts to different shots
of Lisa Rinna looking crazy in different wigs.
I mean, she's living her best life.
You go girl.
That's a story that really got it together.
Yeah. You know what I love about Lisa Rinna?
She's not competitive with her daughters at all.
Her daughters had breakthroughs as models in fashion
and Lisa Rinna, who's had a big career being famous already,
was like, I'm gonna do fashion too.
I'm gonna offstage my daughters.
I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it also.
Really glad that she brought her daughter.
Because I'm wearing a duster today.
So you're welcome, Rinna.
Here it is.
A three quarter length sleeve.
I got it from the girls section of Old Navy
because we're in that kind of a timeline now,
ladies and gentlemen.
All right, let's go to the...
It's duster time.
It's duster time.
Let's go to the LAXLVP terminal.
It's four a.m.
Welcome to the terminal. So this is the VIP terminal. So this is like
the terminal like I guess this is the secret terminal that the celebrities go to where
they can just be inserted onto the planes at the last seconds. They don't have to stand
around with all us normies. So they're arriving and everything to it and they have like by
the way for a VIP terminal it doesn't really feel very VIP in there.
It was like, you have like some like Miss Vicky's cookies,
like brownie, like little bags of like, well,
those brownie crisps and like some Twizzlers is like, welcome celebrities of
Los Angeles. We emptied out a vending machine and gave you some items.
Yeah. And it's like four o'clock in the morning
and I love that Garcelle complains about it. She's like, um, this is Sutton's strike. I thought we
were going to fly private. There's going to be valet. We might even see a manly hand or two in
the plane and massage us. I mean, geez, I see the first one here.
And it's funny.
And so yeah, Garcell is abhorred about, aghast about the fact that there's no private eyes.
So then they have to fly commercial to Augusta and they do just that.
So they arrive in Augusta, in Augusta,
and Trixie Monical's like,
No, today goes by, I don't love where I come from,
I don't know where I come from, America.
And we're at the Augusta Airport.
And Avi's there, and Junebug is off a leash, which.
Yeah.
Girl.
What's going on with that?
I'm just saying that to set you off.
Thank you. You know, I love getting set off by this.
That sort of stuff. Like this is like my favorite.
I already, I already had a dog.
Like this is what a great episode for me.
I've had a dog rant, a gun rant,
and now we get to have a bonus dog rant.
Look, I'm not that mad at June bug.
June bug seems like a pretty good dog,
but like it's a public space.
And also there's like doors that are opening.
You don't need that dog running off onto the tarmac.
Okay, we've seen this happen so many times,
like, oh, flights are delayed
because a dog got onto the tarmac and da-da-da-da-da-da.
We already have enough issues with fricking birds.
Okay, so we don't need dogs, no animals.
And also it's not gonna listen to Avi.
I mean, I think even the dog knows that's the assistant,
you know, cause Avi's like, come here. you need to come here right now little dog. And
she's like, bye. Literally just runs out the door. The next time we see her, she's on a
leash. So yeah, she did wind up on a leash. And what was funny about June bug is like,
she's wearing some sort of like fringe around her neck, which I thought was so funny. She's
like, well, I'm a southern dog now. Yeah, I'm going to to the bar later I'm gonna do some country line dance with the other dogs congratulations
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She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
Give him hell, Miss Noelle.
Put on a kettle for Rebecca Weddle.
She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shining out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in
the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
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