Watch What Crappens - #2724 Below Deck Down Under S03E02: A Boy Named Sous

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Friction continues to build between Tzarina and her sous on Below Deck Down Under.  Also, a love triangle is slowly building and Lara hates wrinkly sheets!  To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com You can still buy tickets to Stream the 2025 Golden Crappies until Feb 14 on our site. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your wellbeing, check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondry app. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkert and joining me today is the sweet and lovable Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Ronnie Karam Aren't you a little crackerjack? Ben Mandelkert You know, I'm feeling like a crackerjack

and you know, maybe have a little present inside me. We are here today to talk blow deck down under. Before we get into that, a gentle and sweet reminder that you only have until Friday to watch the, um, the replay of the golden crappies and we highly recommend it. It was a great show full of laughter and singing and dancing and special guests. It really was a wonderful career highlight. I would actually say, so go check that out. That's crappens.com. I'm sorry, crappens.kisweed.com.

Just go to watch crappens.com. That's where you'll find it. So go check that out. It's a wonderful, wonderful stream. They did a great job. Everyone online has been saying it's actually the best our live stream has ever looked. So thanks to Kisweed for that.

Also, we have a little bit of a break before we go back out on the road. But then in March, we're going bunkers, okay, we're going to Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, DC, and Philadelphia, home of home of the Super Bowl winning Eagles. So maybe Saquon Barkley will come to our show. Who knows? You never know. Either way, that probably will not happen. But you can come to our show and we will have a great time. So watch crappens.com for all those tickets. And then of course, Patreon, you can watch us on video.

Hello, people on video, crappens on demand. And bonus episodes of The Traders, which who doesn't love The Traders? Anything I missed, Ronnie? Did I get it all? No, your neck looks so strong. You've been wearing it. Does it? I can tell, yeah.

You have like cartoonishly strong legs. Wait, let me move this. No, your neck looks so strong. You've been does it I can tell yeah, you have like cartoon You have like cartoonishly wait, let me move this no this you know why I look good looks so tough It's because it's strong It's only cuz this t-shirt is like I actually sewed this t-shirt and I stretched the neck by accident when I was sewing it So I think it makes everything look kind of like oh my god makes me one You look I will look like Gaston or Gaston as they would say on Southern Charm. Oh my God. This does look really good. Now that I see it, that's making it looks hot. Yeah. You go boy. Hey bro. Hey bro. I got a defined neck.

I can hug you by the way. They're working. Oh, by the way. Yeah. By the way, summer house is returning this week. So excited. excited. Summerhouse is coming back and guess what? The Denise Richards show is coming up soon. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. It's going to be good. All right, let's get to below deck, down under. Now this is one of those episodes where you just, you have to remind yourself, this takes a few episodes, right?

I don't know who these people are. Who are these people? What are they talking about? Why aren't they crazy people? Also, below deck down under, I feel, I'm just going to say it, guys, it's maybe controversial. Just kidding, it's not at all. I think below deck down under should stay on small boats. And I think below deck sailings should stay on small boat. And I think the other one should have bigger boats. I like below deck down under smaller. I don't like this big production on below deck. I like it smaller and crazier. I like, you know, I never thought about that. I do like the idea that below classic blow deck should have the biggest boat. But I don't know below deck down under has been so good.

I think they've deserved a big, I think they've earned their big boat. So I'm actually okay with it. I love the addition of a sous chef like that. Every time we go to a scene down in the kitchen, it is just so awkward for me. Like I cringe, like it's giving me a different energy than I've had on below deck before. Like normally it's always like, Oh, do your job or Oh my God, you're a bad leader. But like the chef and sous chef situation going on, I just am like, I,

I just tense up every time we go to that. And I really like that. That's a nice touch for me. Yeah, I like it too. I just wanted to be on a smaller boat because I like more of a fly by night operation on these shows, you know, would you like kind of making it up as more community theaters and vibes. Would you have preferred this to have been on a boat that used to be a Japanese troller

back in the 70s. Yeah, you see that there, that's classic. Now by the way, I have to give a shout out because we often talk about the turtle that they show, they cut to inevitably on this show. They do a lot of marine life on Down Under. You know what? I think we have a new star. I'm not saying it's replacing the old one.

I know who you're talking about. You know? Oh yes. It's the Moray Eel. I'm not saying it's replacement. I know who you're talking about. You know? Oh, yes. It's the more right eel. I'm not going to steal it from you. It's the eel. It's the fucking eel. You guys, that is the cutest eel I've ever seen. Like I've never wanted to hug an eel before, but I totally want to hug an eel. He is so cute.

And he is fabulous too. When he, that extended shot of him coming out of his hole and just going up and just rising up, you know, I was like, slowly. He was like taking his time. And like, they had one where he was like in a sitcom from the eighties where they were like, Eel, it's your turn. And then he just like turned to the camera.

He was like, he did. His mouth was open. He was like, He's like the rip Taylor of Eels. You know, he's like, hi. Guys, that is the cutest thing. And then, do you know how sometimes I feel like I'm psychic? And so, like, I'm always looking for signs that Ben knows this, I'm ridiculous with

it. But this was one of those moments. And also, I'm reading a Western right now that's so brutal, like everybody just dies. And so, it makes you think about, like, how will I die? And so, I saw that eel and I was like, you know, one of my fears used to be getting eaten by eels. I would love to get eaten by this eel. So I imagined myself just getting eaten by this eel.

And I was just like giggling the whole time because he's just so cute while he eats me. Yeah, it's got these, if I remember correctly, it's sort of had some spots. I mean, it was just like a classic moire eel. And just, you know, it had that like Mr. Roper face, but somehow it's like cute in this context. And yeah, he didn't have this. No, you know what he didn't. He, I was going to say Mr. Ferley, but you're

right. It was Mr. Roper, that little smile. Oh my God. He totally has a Roper face and we have to find, we have to find pictures of him. Maybe he is, you know, he's not Rip Taylor. He's honestly just Rip. He's just Stanley. Stanley Roper. Stanley Roper. Stanley. And the turtle can be Mrs. Roper, you know.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Then we have to figure out who the rest of the cast is. That may be a season endeavor. I don't know. No one's really made a splash. Like there was a parrotfish that had like a moment, but only because it was called out. So I was like, there's a season endeavor. I don't know. No one's really made a splash. Like there was a parrot fish that had like a moment, but only cause it was called out. So I was like, there's a parrot fish.

So, yeah. And you know, you know who I'm sick of the fucking drama queen, stingrays, like do it now. Stingrays are everywhere. And there's such, you know, like you murdered Steve Irwin. Like I can't, yeah. And like, I'm not going to like come to this show where we're glamorizing stingrays. Okay. I'm not going to have it. Yeah. They really are just, you know what? The stingrays are kind of like Larry on Three's Company.

They are. They're just always coming in uninvited. They're always around. But like never really adding to the entertainment value of the show. It's like, go back to the legal eagle. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are we going to really start this off with some Larry slander? Larry was amazing. What are you talking about? You love Larry? I was like, I love Larry.

Yeah. Really? I always loved Larry. I loved Larry's, mm-mm. He was like fine, but like he was no Janet, he was no Chrissy, he was no Terry. No, here's why Larry was great, cause he wasn't fine at all,

but in his mind he was so fine, and he was all about like picking up the chicks and like his shirt was always unbuttoned Jared S concept of like even ugly straight white guys tail upward just because of confidence, you know? I never really learned confidence, but still it was always a goal, you know, because of you, Larry. How Larry really proved a lot of things to us. But he taught us a lot of things. Did they go to the legal eagle or was it the legal beagle by the way?

I said legal eagle. I think the regal beagle, the regal beagle. How dare you? But legal eagle was a movie with Deborah Winger. Thank you. That's right. Yeah. From roughly the same era, a little bit after. But okay, thank you. Jared Larson Yeah. So, by the way, if you're driving in your car right now and you're wondering, why am I listening to this? Here's your answer. I don't know. Okay, so let's start. We start with

Serena, who's downstairs with her sous chef, Anthony. And Anthony has just basically told her off in his way. He's like, we could be working harder together. We could be working harder together. And she's like, okay, well, do you want to be more involved in stuff? And he's like, yeah, for sure. She's like, okay, well, would you be excited if you got to go into the beach lunch today? How would that sound for you? And she's really leaning into her Ruth Buzzi face. Have you noticed? Yeah, you know that's like I like I did I want her to like beat him over the head with a purse Yeah, you know what that is

How have we have we never observed that she really is just Ruth Buzzi like this really is an episode of 70s stars, isn't it? Like who so we're gonna build some for mash. Old man talking about below deck. It's our new era. We're just old bastards. That's all. Who here is Maureen Stapleton? Yeah.

So, he's like, okay, I can do it. She goes, and then I can just crack on. He's like, okay, I can do it. And then I can just crack on. He's like, okay, okay, fine. So then the skeevy guest, all these guests are like old dudes with like young, hot women. A couple of them still maintain their like same age wives, but you know, they're on their way out. You know, I feel bad. There's one woman who I'm like, you're way too old for that guy.

He's about to he's about to cut you and go switch you out for a 25 year old who likes anal beads. Sorry. It's just how it is. Yeah, these were some definitely some trashy people. So this guy's like, well, you know, you're gonna go fuck right here. And she's like, Oh, my God, you have your microphone on. He's like, Yeah, it's raw.

I don't care. I'm any cameras are looking like, well, we don't want to see that. And thankfully, we didn't actually's raw. I don't care how many cameras are looking. Like, well, we don't wanna see that. And thankfully we didn't actually have to. I know, but that's why he's there. It's like he paid to go on a TV boat to prove to the world that his wiener still works. And if it worked that well, you wouldn't need that many toys.

Okay, we're still pointing out the obvious. Hey, wait a minute. No, that guy's definitely on steroids. Hey, I put testosterone in my butt. Oh, I'm not listening. You what? It doesn't do anything. I mean, I maybe get two more boners a month. I don't know what everybody's on about putting testosterone in your butt. That didn't make me any manlier.

I just love that ever since we went to London, you've come back and you always say, I don't know what they're on about. back and you always say, I don't know what they're on about. It's like this funny little like British ism that, that you say quite a bit actually. Yes. I've never said that before. Maybe you did, but I just only have noticed it relatively recently that you'll be like, what is she on about? Well, I think I've said it a long time because I was raised in my adulthood, my young adulthood by Absolutely Fabulous, so that came a long time before. But yeah,

I don't know what they're on about with that testosterone in your butt, because everyone's like, oh my God, you're gonna feel like such a man, it's gonna change your life. It didn't do shit. Now granted, making me feel like a man is a tall order, I have to say. I think they're only legally allowed to put so much inside of me. But I got it tested and they were like, well, your testosterone is normal. And I was like, but why am I still, why do I still just want to like, I don't know, cry to commercials and not get wieners? They're like, I don't know, can't help you.

You're beyond our help, sir. Some things testosterone can't fix, you know? So then Harry is, he's with Brianna. Brianna's the, I think the girl from New Jersey, the redhead. And he's like, let's make some beds. And she's like, all right, bed making one on one with super y'all. And he's like, is this the butt plug room? And she's like, no, no, no, it isn't.

And he's like, good, cause I need gloves for that room. I'm not touching anything in that room. Oh, loosen up a little Harry. Literally. Yeah, come on, get out of those budgie smugglers and put on some boxers. Loosen up. Yeah, you're like 22 and you're skinny. You should be trying more things.

Yeah. So meanwhile, Anthony is talking about making crew lunch and doing, he wants to make focaccia sandwiches. And Zarina's like, no bread like that. He's like, no focaccia. She's like, no, Jason wants like fresh fish and salads and stuff like that. And he's like, all right, fine, whatever. He like clearly wanted to make a splash with focaccia. Yeah. He was like, he's like, this is my big moment to show off my focaccia skills.

And she shot that right down So she's like, I know where you're coming from. Really? I do. I'm so sorry about that. Just know focaccia and He's like, okay, so you're not gonna do any prep up at all for this barbecue. So no, no, I'm gonna help you I'm gonna do anything you need. I'm just not going to the beach. He's what's your position in it to make the crew food? anything you need, I'm just not going to the beach." He goes, what's your position in it to make the crew food? Excuse you. You just asked for more responsibility. And the second she gave it to you, look how you act, you act like she's like sloughing off and giving you her fucking work. You're a little...

Yeah, see, I think you're a little backbiting shithead, Anthony. He is because like he was right, he was not being utilized properly last episode. But now she's like, okay, well You can go and cook for the guests on the beach. And now all of a sudden he's like, well, that's your job I mean get over yourself. So yeah She's like she's like I'm not making you do my job at all. I asked if you'd like it He's no I am happy to I actually love to yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

She's like no if you'd like to go to the beach, but I'm not if you'd like to go to the beach They go to the beach, but I'm not going to cook for anything like that. I was going to completely prepare you and send you on your way. And then like, I want you to come and have some fun. She's basically like, I'm still going to do the cooking, you're going to execute it. So relax. Yeah. And she's like, I'm not making you do my job. Don't worry. And he tells us, well, I'm not trying to attack Serena here, but suddenly I'm going from being a dishwasher to doing beach canapes. It's a bit weird. You asked for more and she's giving you more. Stop your bitch. I mean, talk about somebody with too much testosterone up their butt.

This one. Nat Peltz Fragile man, really. Like, I knew the moment that this guy walked in talking about, oh, he's booked under a Michelin star person. And then seeing that he has to cook under a woman who is not a Michelin star, I knew he was going to be on. Oh, God. Do you know how many talented people I've worked under? Yeah. Yes. Many. Many. Like, for a syrup rare. A hot beef injection does not a Nobel Peace Prize win. Like, for instance. For instance, everywhere. David A hot beef injection does not a Nobel Peace Prize win, okay, sir?

So, she's like, I'm just giving you this opportunity, so don't stomp around in my galley like a three-year-old, all right? So then, Jason is looking for Lara, but she's changing, and she's going to be with the guests. And so, Serena checks with Lara who is still crying. Okay, they show Lara crying in this... It's like a 20-minute segment of Lara crying. Lara, you are not cut out for this if you are going to cry for 20 damn minutes. There is no crying in Chief's doing, ma'am.

Okay? If you're going to cry, make it quick. Fucking A, man. this is too long. Do you know how much, there's only been one episode, how did they even have that much to edit in of her reasons for crying? Yeah, I'm surprised because I remember on Classic Blow Deck, there was that one stew, I forget her name,

was it like Claire or Agnes or something like that. She was on for like, she was right after Kate left, whatever her name was. And there was like a horrific first charter. The guests were terrible. And then she had totally inept stews. She had that stew that's created mustard gas. What? That one episode. So like, and I remember she just broke after that first episode, she started crying. But like, I didn't feel like there was, there was definitely chaos happening last episode. For sure. There was timing issues and going up and down those stairs, etc.

I did not think it was like a sob worthy moment, but she sobbed and they made it dramatic. They made like the sound of her heartbeat and they're like, Oh my God, Laura, Laura, all the pressures on Laura. And then Zarina comes in and just was like, Oh, they even showed her, but they even showed like one of the memories was like she's sobbing because she didn't know to have spoons. And then Serena said, could you put spoons on a tray and take them down? And she's like, that's not fine dining.

And that was one of her reasons for the breakdown. I was dying watching that. I thought it was so good. You know, all she needs is to go to a Starbucks with a supportive barista who puts things like this on their cup. You rock. Yeah. You rock.

I saw that and I was like, thanks. Pete Slauson That was so nice. Did you tell them your name is You Rock though? You're like, my name is You Rock. You're like, you kind of like that. Jared Slauson No, but they accidentally, their printer was broken. And so, they printed me twice and they made me two of the same drink. And I was like, oh, I didn't order two. And she said, well, it's your lucky day because our printer broke, so you get two. And so, I was like, oh, I didn't order two. And she said, well, it's your lucky day because our printer broke, so you get two. And so I was like, oh, so I took them, you know, because I don't piss on Manna from heaven. I put it in my knapsack. And so I took it. And then I noticed this one said, you rock. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I wonder if the other

one says something. And the other one said, you're so special. And I was like, you know what? Really? I feel less special now that you're just writing us on every cup. You know what I mean? What the fuck? I would have been better if you just feel like some John, some random John. I know, it's like too much praise actually.

It's too much praise for a fragile gay, fragile gay, you know, ego, you know, like we can't take too much. Yeah. We can only take so much before we're like, no, we're not special anymore. By the way, that being said, Lara crying was a disappointment, but other than that, I actually really like Lara a lot because she is a perfectionist.

And I love a chief stew who's a perfectionist because A, they're more neurotic, and B, I love when they are, usually means that they're meaner to their, their stooz and we see a little bit of it later today, which like, that's not how it's done in yachting. And I was like, Oh, I love that passive aggression. So, so far, like I'm actually pretty pro Laura. Well, the thing is perfection, people who talk about how much of a perfectionist they

are, are always fucking things up. Have you noticed that? There's never someone who's like, I'm such a perfectionist. That's actually like perfect. They're always fucking up. Have you noticed that? There's never someone who's like, I'm such a perfectionist, that's actually perfect. They're always fucking up and that's why I like it. Also, I like her because she has very insecure eyebrows. Now what I mean by that is she does the thing where you put them on with a magic marker, but they're not quite right, and so now she's stuck with them.

And I think that your eyebrows say a lot about you, and I think she's got very terrified eyebrows. So I'm all for her. Also, she has disdain on her face at all times and that's really my number one qualifying, you know, like characteristic for me to really enjoy you as a chiefs do disdain. Yeah, we love some disdain. Yeah, for sure. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap in commercial.

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Are we alone? Encounters is a podcast which is going to find out. Listen to Encounters exclusively in ad free on Wondry+. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or in Apple podcasts. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or in Apple podcasts. to impress my dad. Oh, for fuck's sake. Dad's out there. Could you do better? I mean, Jesus Christ. Bad fathers are like a factory for reality stars. Like they just pump out so many bad, I mean, so many neurotic reality stars. Get it together, dads. Now I know why she was crying because like a cut to a flashback, Hope float style, where she's like, daddy, daddy, I brought you a fork and a knife.

I needed a spoon. That's it. I'm leaving you and your mother. And she's just standing on the street as the car drives away like, Daddy, daddy, you just see something fly out the side window and hit her on the forehead and it's clings to the ground and it's a spoon. I thought I could get over that trauma, but I just relive it every charter. So she talks about how her parents divorced when she was three and her dad remarried. And this lady already had three children.

And she's like, you know, he basically found a replacement family and dumped us, which is so sad, but you're also entering onto below deck where they're going to dump you and get a new chief student next year too. So it's like, I don't know, stop the cycle. You know what I mean? Yeah. She's gone from, she's gone from an impermanent family situation to an impermanent land situation.

Now she's just always out in the world. So out there with a Sharpie, just trying to do her eyebrows once every six months and fucking it up by a couple of inches. And then it all goes to hell after that. So Zarina's in there right now because she actually wants to go to the bathroom, but now she's consoling Lara.

And Lara's like, my puss in a sand is a-dropping and I hate that. I mean, that's what's kidding me because I've worked so hard to get to where I am, but who knew? Sausage needs spoons. Oh God, I'll never get it right. That's what's killing me because I've worked so hard to get to where I am, but who knew? Sauces need spoons. Oh, God, I'll never get it right.

So, Serena comes in and she just hugs her, you know, and I think that's a sweet friend who doesn't hug her. I mean, I'm not a good friend because I would be hugging you going, that's okay, just remember a spoon next time. Just remember a spoon. Like, I'd still be kind of sticking it in there. But Serena doesn't. She just hugs her and stays quiet.

Yeah, well, I did like, she had like a tray or something and she just starts to fan. She fans Laura like, all right, let's fan these tears away. No need to cry over the fact that you forgot to put out a spoon. Only one of the most basic utensils out there. Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Oh, you just went in the bathroom before me. Great. Great.

Jason Cosper Yeah. So then Harry is working on cabins a lot, which is nice. And I think he's flirting with Brianna. So then he goes to the beach with Weon and Harry's like, so organized chaos. It's all right. Everything's all right. And he's like, what did you have to do this morning? Pits, pants, I did pants. It was all right. Everything's all right." And he's like, what did you have to do this morning? Pins? Pins? I did pins. It was so amazing. I never got to the butt plug room though. God, I hope I don't have to go there. I feel myself clenching in anticipation. And then Weehan is like, well, I'm so glad that you can take initiative and do your thing because Lara's really

stressed. I'm like, wow, is this a bossin who's like happy that someone from the deck crew like actually helped out the interior? This doesn't make sense. He's never going to last. Jared Saskar Oh, but he's a guy from beef cakes. Pete Neumann The most sensitive guy in the world. That's my favorite thing about him. He used to work at a place called Beef Cakes. Jared Saskar That's right. Pete Neumann So then Serena is talking to Sue Anthony and she's like,

well, I think we should do all the salads as well and fresh and light. And he's like, perfect, perfect. I mean, it's quite a bit fat on there, isn't it? Like, you know, you're prepping some steaks that looks like quite a bit fat. So, way to go against your own rules. He's like, all right, I'll just do it on the barbecue. So then, um, Laura goes to the beach with Anne Marina serving the guests before they go. And so Jassie, Jassie, who is one of the guests is like, Hey, so your experience on yachts and now ladies and gentlemen, act two of the below deck childhood trauma Olympics begins. It's an Olympics game. That's also a performance. So,

it's Act 2 of the Olympics. So, Marina is like, yes, I've been working three and a half years now in the industry and I'm working to become a chief stew, like the chief of the department. It's a gorgeous place. So, it's not so bad, honestly. And now she tells the story of life in the favela. Yeah. So, she wants to make her family's life easier because she grew up in a very humble house and they always lived rent by rent. And when they couldn't afford the rent, they would go to the next place to rent. And it was tough. Grandpa was in a wheelchair because he had a disease.

The dad left, so grandma had to work two or three jobs. She took care of the whole family. And then we see, and then she says, her, her mom, and 13 cousins. I mean, that's crazy. You all get a job. Why is the grandma doing it? Jesus Christ. And they show her mom, her mom looks perfectly fine. What was her mom doing? You know? Pete Slauson Also, maybe like wear a condom. I'm just gonna put that out there. Like, that's a lot of kids for grandma to have to support. Okay?

Sorry. Jared Slauson That's just lot of kids for grandma to have to support, okay? Sorry. That's just a lot, poor grandma, man. But this is really sweet because she just wants to save up her money to get grandma a house. Well, I hope that you know that you're the person who gets all the grandma's money, because that would suck if you did that

and then your grandma left everything to your mom, who wouldn't even get a job to support her, according to you. Well, I'm worried that Marina's to get fucked over by her grandma. I know that grandma is supposed to be the hero of the story, but I'm like, Marina, she's fucking you over. It's all a trick. Marina, run.

I would love it if this entire story were false. Like Marina were just like a huge liar and had this story about like grandma, my 13 cousins, then grandma had to do it all. Grandpa was in the wheelchair. And then it turns out she's from like Costa Mesa, Orange County. Yeah, yeah. She's like from a really rich single dad in Costa Mesa.

She's fine, she's fine. So then, yeah, she's just a huge grifter. I would love that. But I like that she's a small time grifter cause she's like, I'm going to grift my way up the yachting hierarchy. Yes. So we have two cliches so far, which is we have the, uh, I'm a yachty because daddy left and we have a, I'm a yachty cause I just want to get a house for my, for my mom or my grandma.

So those are like two, two and because daddy and because dad left. And because dad left as well. And daddy left. I mean, not to be mean about that, but it is part of both stories. Yeah, I mean, look, it's just what it is in yachting. And of course we're waiting for our trifecta, which as we know will be inevitably

a child in Florida somewhere. Or Alaska. I can't wait to see who it is. Who has a child somewhere. Yeah. I'm doing it all for my child. Vion? Yeah. Do you think it's Vion? I'm going to say Vion. Vion has a child somewhere and he's doing this all for his child. Yeah. He has like sad, I miss my child face for sure. He's got like kind of a sadness in his eyes. Like I have a daughter somewhere And I'm ignoring her right now, which means she'll grow up to be a chief

stew wannabe. Dun, dun, dun, the cycle. Below deck, the cycle continues. All right, so Harry is talking to Lara and he's like, how's the interior? And she's like, oh, I mean, they're really good. And he goes, okay, well, who's first and who's second? Give me the tea girl. And she's like, oh, I mean, they're really good. And goes, Okay, well, who's first and who's second? Give me the tea girl. And she's like, Well, I haven't appointed anyone yet. But Marina definitely does have more experience because it's a small team and she also has a grandma story. So, but I don't know, I don't want to become, you know, hierarchy. Yeah. And how about the chicas? How you feeling about the chicas, Harry? That's girls, Harry. I know you're looking at me with strange eyes. Girls. It means girls. I don't know. We'll see. It's too early. You need to talk to them properly, you know? Get to know the ins, the outs, the wants, the needs sort of thing.

Yeah, probably is not good. Poor Harry. Yeah, poor Harry. Harry doesn't have any game. He hooked up with someone last time, right? But didn't he cry a lot? I felt like Harry cried a lot. He tried with Margo, you know? And he was like, really, he was crushing on Margo

and they sort of had a thing, but she wasn't really feeling it. Yeah, he's a friend zone. That's gonna be Harry's journey in life. So then now the food is, the food is going on to the tender or whatever. And Wee Han is, is it Wee Han or Vee Han? Vee Han?

Vee Han? Vee Han. I'm like, Vee Han? Vee Han is talking about steak and everything and they're talking stuff, food and steak and beach picnics and stuff. And then Johnny is saying, Johnny is the guy from Greece and he's like, first impressions matter most

and mine it was not so good, but I want to show the rest of the team my leadership and I'll be the lead deck and a boat of Katina. So I don't know, you know what I kind of liked Johnny this episode, last episode I kind of liked Johnny this episode. Last episode, I was like, fuck this guy, this arrogant motherfucker saying he's the lead deck and what a fucking asshole. But now he's like humbled and now he's kind of sweet and I like him again.

And by again, the first time. Yeah, he's cute. I feel like he's just a road rage person. He's the kind of person you just don't want to cut off on accident. You know what I mean? Like he'll follow you to the marshals and threaten to beat the shit out of you just don't want to cut off on accident. You know what I mean? Like he'll follow you to the marshals and threatened to beat the shit out of you. He's just that guy. He's clearly toxic, but I'm kind of beguiled by him this episode for no good reason. Yeah.

But so are cigarettes and I love, you know, I love those things. I love a lot of toxic things. So bring it on. So Laura is like, um, wait, who's Laura? Hold on, let me think. Oh, Laura's the chief chef. So, she's talking about meat. She's talking about meat with Anthony, the sous chef. And she's like, so the meat is ready? I mean, the meat's going to be ready when they're ready? And he's like, yeah, I'm just sitting here, I was cooking through pretty quick. So, yeah, I know what I'm doing. You know, I've worked under lots of big people, you know, I've got a butt tattoo that says emerald on it. So

make that what you will. So she's like, okay, well, what's and what is this cut? Lamb chop. Oh, okay. So she serves it and a strawberry balsamic salad and lamb and salmon whatever. And so Anthony is telling us, I've always been a bit of a food snob. When I was growing up, my mom would cook a big meal and I'd be like, this is delicious, but maybe a little bit more seasoning there. So you're a little prick. You're a little, you're a little asshole. That's what she was. Little brat. You would have been an orphan if I was your mother. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's like, I do think me and Zarina have different approaches to being a chef. I mean, hers may be a bit more chaotic. Mine may be a bit more chaotic.

Mine may be a bit more structured and rigid, but my meticulous nature just comes from being passionate about food. Like something's not right. I remember that. And I put it back in my head. So, you know that there's something really satisfying about like serving something perfectly seasoned, like a perfectly balanced, beautiful looking dish, you know, like, okay. Yes, we like our perfectly seasoned food, but like, please don't make that your personality. Yeah. Also just like make my steak. You know what I mean? Yeah, just make the steak. Just do it. Yeah. Get off, get off, get off the toe shoes. Like for fuck's sake. And also,

if ever I want to hear a backstory, it's his mother's. I want to hear his mother's like, here I was working 30 jobs just to make him happy. And I'd make him a potato and he'd say, which this is unacceptable, throw it against my face and then make me start all over again. To this day, I still don't know how to make a proper bag of potato. Mmm. And by the way, you don't win an award

because you like your food seasoned. Okay, congratulations. It's called being a human being. Wow, you like salt. I know. Ever since I was a little kid, I always liked my food to be properly seasoned. Really? Wow.

What an innovation. You know what? I don't like, I don't want my food to be properly seasoned. I don't like that. That's amazing that you like that. Can I just tell you something? I'm so sorry that I keep bringing up this stupid Western that I'm reading. It is so dark, Ben.

Yes, here's what happens, okay? It's just so brutal. Every page is like them getting into some skirmish and everybody dying, okay? That's the whole thing. It's a Western. So they're like, the enemy started a fire and burned all of our people.

And all of our people were trying to jump over a cliff to not die from the fire. And basically I didn't jump over the cliff, but I hung onto a tree or something. So I didn't die. But then when I got back up, there was a horse and it was fried. So I ate it. I just chopped into it and I started eating the horse. That's the whole thing. They just keep going through and just like killing something and just biting right into it. So when I hear this guy, I'm like, wow. So when we get to this, I'm like, wow. Right. So when we get to this, I'm like, wow, we're so lucky that we have salt.

I know. We really are lucky. I mean, salt's been around for a while because you could just go to the ocean. I think they had salt too, but I don't think they always had it on them. Like they didn't have a dough well, you know what I mean? Right, they definitely didn't have salt

like readily available. Like if you were in the middle of the country, if you were in like Lonesome Dove land, which I assume is like somewhere between Texas and Montana, isn't that the whole story that they're trying to play? Well, this one's Texas and Mexico, but yeah. Oh, I thought they were in Montana. I'm reading the whole four book thing.

So it started in Texas and they're on their way to Mexico. I thought it was one book. That's a lot of doves. Girl, they're not so lonesome anymore. I read them like three hours and then it's like you're 1% of this book I'm like, oh my god, I can't take it. This is too brutal, but I can't put it down You're reading it on the plane and I looked over to look at the page because I was curious to see what like a slice of lonesome dove was like and I was like There was some guy who had like two names. was like Bo's Dexter or something like that.

Do you know who I'm talking about? It was like Bo's or Bo's Bo Bo Bo. It was like Bo Dean. Bo Dean said we got to go yonder. And then it was like and then Muriel said but what about what about the the fried horse or whatever and I was like, right. Or is no, but I'm glad that the bow something. No, there's someone named call and there's someone named. Yes. And there's a lot of call and there's like long face bill and big foot or something. There was definitely someone who had

two names and then there's my pills or the whoreore. Matilda the Whore is my favorite because she's just like, her opening scene, they basically take a hooker around with them so that they have somebody to please them or whatever while they're, you know, rangerin. And Matilda is like a big girl and her first scene is just being naked in the river and she catches a snapping turtle and stabs it and eats it for breakfast. And I was like, that's my favorite kind of horror. A turtle, a turtle catching, snapping turtle catching horror. And let me tell you, I'm a thousand pages in and Matilda's still with us. So that's great. She made it longer than anybody else and guess I didn't talk about any

daddy issues. Matilda, just a turtle by the tail. Yeah, I guess you didn't complain about seasoning. Matilda eating that snapping turtle. I want to tell you something. Listen, if you're going to take on a snapping turtle, that is impressive because those things, they will bite your fingers off. Yeah, they're monsters. Anyway, I'm sorry to go into lonesome dove, you guys. My point was seasoning. We should be grateful. So shut up. Shut up, Sea Chef, that's my point. Okay, so then Jason checks on Serena, and she, you know, he's like, how you doing? How's this charter going for you? And I like that she tries not to throw that little shithead under the bus, because she totally could have, and she didn't. She's like, you know, I mean, he's great, he's great, let me tell you, he's fantastic. The only

thing is I'm obviously just so blunt that maybe sometimes when I say stuff, he thinks like it's a confrontation and it's not really a confrontation. So Jason is seeing this as like, well, she's difficult and she makes her own problems. So I gave her a sous chef this year. So good luck. Yeah, exactly. And she's like, whatever. I mean, like, it's just, it just seems, you know, I mean, it's going to be difficult, especially because I look like this. So obviously it's distracting. And Jason's like, uh-huh. All right, we're still doing those jokes. Okay, got it. So now the guests come back from their beach thing, because they're going to go on a submarine tour on an adorable smiling red submarine. That's so cute on the top and then down on the bottom is basically like a coffin, but that's okay. So Marina is saying,

you know when your boss allows you to go on excursions with the guests, sometimes this is a real test to see if you can handle about going above and beyond. And you know, I want to be Lars Lara's right hand. So, uh, I'm going to be here for whatever you know, I want to be Laura's right hand. So I'm going to be here for whatever she needs, just like grandma. And I will not be able to sleep, take a shower or eat. But YOLO, at least I get to go on tiny, tiny cramped submarine. Excited for that, I guess. So then, Vian is talking about how he wants his deck team rested. And yesterday was a

massive day. First day of charter, working in the sun all day. However, I understand where Jason is coming from. Jason can be rest assured this won't be happening again. By the end of the season, we're going to be best friends. Beefcake to beefcake. Oh wow. Vian seems like a pretty good manager so far.

I'm like, he's like nice. He's happy when his team helps out at the interior. He wants to make sure they're rested. Now he's like, oh, I will never make this mistake again and I'm going to work on our friendship. Yeah. So he's kind of stand up. Now what mistake did he make?

He. Something I floated away without a radio? No, but he had his crew sleep in a little bit instead of being up. And so that was... Oh, okay. So he'll be awful. I know we'll see some side... I'm just enjoying him now while we still think he's nice. So then Zarina is asking Anthony about the beach and he says that that seemed happy.

And she says, all right, well, the menu for tonight is Cowboys and Cowgirls Hoedown, Lonesome Dove style. And there's going to be a beef chili, a vegan chili, a jacket potatoes, a snapping turtle and a lobster platter. Yeah. And he's like, well, wait a minute, how does lobster come in? It's like, cause they bought surf and turf, you know, Oh, surf and turf. Okay. Fine. Fine then. So it's a surf and turf. Hey, down lighten up. Cause oh, okay. So that's surf and turf then. And then she's like, yeah, I mean like, duh, if I'm having a ho down, I always want myself into, I don't know what you do. She's like trying to make jokes and trying to like,

kind of, you know, be like funny or whatever. And he's like, uh, he's like, he's kind of trying to banter with her. But also like, what sucks is that you can see like, um, honestly, a male chef would not have to make this banter to try to like, win over the, the sous chef. The male chef would be like to make this banter to try to like win over the the sous chef, the male chef would be like, just do this. But like this is what's I am I am getting on a soapbox. Because I do think it's much harder for like women in this in like cooking and restaurants and it's fucked up. It's bullshit. He should just be giving her respect because

she's his boss. And that's it. She shouldn't have to be sitting here trying to endear herself to him. Right, but I think that's the thing, because you said like a male chef wouldn't do that. No, a male chef would have no problem being a hard ass and saying, this is your job, shut the fuck up, I didn't ask your opinion, fucking do it. And I think he feels the need to placate him and be nice to him. And that's where it's like he doesn't understand that kind of power dynamic and he's gonna take advantage of it and he's gonna run all over her. Yeah, he's gonna run right over her for being like that. You can't be like that.

You have to beat him into submission, girl. Beat him into submission. Commercials, here comes one right now. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. Right now. I sat down with astrology queen, Chani Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci, where nothing was off the table.

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Let's make this year our best one yet, baby. So now they get on the submarine and Marina falls asleep in the submarine, which is kind of funny. And they like wake her up. Like the guy's like, Hey, Hey, Hey, sorry, wake up by the way, whether we're there or not. Dino's at eight o'clock. Is that okay? Cause like we want, we want to have dinner at eight o'clock no matter what, because this guy Blair is like a real hard ass about timing. Cause he was really upset the other day when like he told them 8.30 in the morning for breakfast,

but then he got up there at eight and breakfast wasn't ready, then he got pissed about it. Which was his fucking fault too. His fucking fault. No, because that's not, wasn't it something that he said he wanted breakfast at 8.30, but then he got up there at eight and it wasn't ready. So he was all mad.

Yeah, is that what she said? He was all mad. So this guy's such an asshole. What a dick. So also what's funny is Marina just gave us that speech of like, I do this, I do that. I do this, I do that. I don't stop. Yolo, you only live once.

I'm going to do everything. And then she sleeps. She falls asleep immediately after the monologue. So this is a weird plot point because now he's like, whether we're there or not, dinner needs to be there at eight o'clock on the dot. And she's like, whether we're there or not, dinner needs to be there at eight o'clock on the dot. And she's like, okay. Then he's like, so you need to tell the chef, dinner has to be at eight o'clock on the dot.

Do you get it, whether we're there or not? She's like, okay. Well, that's crazy, she can't do that. It's stupid. What a stupid person to replace that. Yeah, it's stupid. You were the one who fucked up the time in the first place, butt plug.

Yeah, like it should be dinner is served when you all get there. Don't yell at the staff, yell at your friends to get ready. So then meanwhile, back in the galley, Anthony is asking what he wants, like what he should do. And Zarina's telling him to prep the lobster tail. And she's like, so what were you like as a kid? And he's like, oh, you know, just like chilled. You know what I mean? No, it restoring month mother's baked potatoes out into garbage because they

had no seasoning. I was pretty chill. Unfortunately, I had to recook everything that was ever served to me. So that took most of mine. That took most of my time. And she's like, so no getting arrested or what kind of chef are you? You know, do you have any tattoos symbolizing your heroin addiction? And he's like, no. I'm just trying to give you an opportunity to say, oh yeah, I used to be on drugs and cooking saved my life. I used to live in the gutter and I would have been dead by now had I not discovered cooking,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Standard chef mind log. Come on, it's your moment. Do you have a child that you're dead beating somewhere? I mean, come on then. And he's like, no, no, nothing, nothing, just a good person. And she's like, God, fucking out, Manitom's coming over in the police cars, freeze the taxi. It was ridiculous for me. And he's like, disgusting.

He's like, wha? So then Lara is talking to Adair, cause I forgot that a dare a existed and B is a deck stew. So Laura's like, all right, it's not for the theme. I'm going to leave the entertainment up to you guys if that's good. Cause you're American and I don't understand this Cowboys and Cowgirls thing. As far as I know back in England, what we have instead are crumpets and clotted cream. And that is our theme for our special events. So please you take over. And then there's like, oh, okay. Lasso I'll do that. And that can teach theme for our special events. So please, you take over.

And then Tara's like, oh, okay, lasso, I'll do that. And then I can teach them a little dance. I just need them to be able to get in line and count to eight. She goes, well, that's expecting a lot, but good luck to you. I don't know what any of this means, but you just do that American thing. Yeah. So then Brianna, Harry's helping Brianna again.

And she's like, actually, I'm quite impressed with your stew skills, Harry. He's like, Oh, really? That's amazing. I've cleaned bathrooms on boats before, you know, I've got lots of experience. Yeah. And she thinks she likes them. She's like, Oh, do you have a home base? She's like, do you have a home base? Or you just like boat to boat? He's like, oh, do you have a home base or do you, she's like, do you have a home base or you just like boat to boat? He's like, nah, no home base. She's like, oh, that's cool.

She says, I like Harry. He's a positive energy. I think he's so sweet. We're going to be best friends. I was like, damn, he's already been friend-zoned. Already friend-zoned. The flirtation hasn't even started yet. Yeah.

And he's like, breathing way above my league. I look at girls like that and I'm like, not even worth trying. Not even worth trying. And yet here you are making your ninth bet of a day of the day. Oh, poor Harry bless his heart. Bless his friend's own heart. So now they come back from the sub and they're going to take a nap and everything. And then Marina goes up and tells Lara that the guests are very adamant that they want everything on the table before eight o'clock. It doesn't matter. Who is there? They're going to start eating. So eight o'clock. And so Zarina was like, okay, fine. And then I guess, I guess Marina told Zarina that. And then Lara is,

um, speaking to Johnny. Who's Johnny again? I'm blanking out. Oh, Johnny, Greek. Johnny the Greek? Johnny the Greek. So she's asking if he's, he's just like, are you free?

What are you doing? He's like, free like relationship or free for your time? She's asking to get into a relationship with you right now. Yeah, Johnny, she wants you. She's like, no, please hang these decorations, you idiot. So Serena's like, for this dinner, I just think rustic hay bales, greasy hands, smoky flavors. Prior to this charter season, I was in Arizona, so I know what to do. They cooked all sorts of meat. You know, there's baked potatoes, corn slaw, I mean, literally served on wood. It was like eating a trough or something. I just felt like a very cowgirl, eating with your hands and the dirt, you know.

Matthew 10 And that's, it's very like, lonesome dove, you know, fried horse, snapping turtle puree soup, horse serving food naked. Matthew 11 So, she was like, so, Anthony, we have to explain the dishes. Would you like to come up with me? Poop. Paws. Serving food. Naked. Oh. So, and she was like, so Anthony, we have to explain the dishes. Would you like to come up with me? And he's like, I don't mind. She can go. I'll come up at the end. Oh, really?

You want to come up at the end and act like the fucking chef? Of course you do. Get your ass with me right now, sir. Yeah. And she's like, okay, well, I'll just tell them which ones you make. He goes, no, no, don't just do what has is, we're a team in it. And then he basically says, oh, thanks. You see what he's doing though, don't you?

He's saying don't do that, we're a team so I can take credit for everything. Like all those pictures that he showed before when he's like, here's my five star service. And then he's showing all these gorgeous, you know, magazine worthy pictures. How many of those were his and how many of those were his chefs that he just took pictures of and he may be helpful. Exactly. Like worthy pictures. How many of those were his and how many of those were his chefs that he just took pictures of and he may be helpful. Like, you know, fucking cutting a carrot. Exactly. Congratulations.

You put some sort of like mushroom soil on a plate. So Anthony is like, which I hate when chefs describe. I know you hate a soil. And here on the side is this, is it pistachio soil? No, it's, don't say it's soil. Stop that. Soil's so gross. So, and you know, I made like I was cooking the other night and I made a pistachios that's horror

Which was very fun And when I was mixed you have to mix it with your hands cuz there's lemon zest in there and the lemon zest clumps You have to go in their hands and I felt like dirt and as I was doing it I was like I bet if this read a restaurant some asshole would say and here's some pistachio soil Because it felt like soil, but I wasn't willing to cut the soil. Because I'm an adult. So Anthony Bacy is like, thanks, but no thanks.

I don't want them to think I've cooked that just because the theme's basic doesn't mean the food has to be basic. If it was my menu, I would have been out there at the barbecue making it a more immersive experience. You know, some short ribs, slow cooked, you know, yeah, slow cooked short ribs, perfect for a barbecue. So he goes, you know, we could have even done hot sauce platter where you make different scotch bonnets, different sauces, different spices, possibilities are endless.

Shut up, dude. Okay, go ahead and do it. And you're not, you're not, it's not immersive grilling in front of them. Give me a fucking break. It's not a Benihana. You're not going to be throwing it in their fucking mouth. Don't, don't invoke the onion tower in front of Zarina, Ronnie. But, um, that was, that was a sore point for her last year as we saw. Yeah, they showed it today. Yeah, they showed it today. It was really funny when he's like, well, you know, Zarina does make her own problems. He's like, it's going to be like a Benihana. She's like, not doing it. like, well, you know, Serena does make her own problems. He's like, it's going to be like a Betty Hanna. She's like, not doing it. Now that being said, I do think that this meal could have been a little bit more

upscale, but I don't know if these guests really needed it to be up. I think the guests were not very upscale people. So it was fine. It could have, it could have been a little bit more refined, but I don't think you needed to have like a scotch bonnet, hot sauce platter that gets passed around. That's the way. Yeah, it's cowboy day.

I mean, give me a fucking break. So Serena is telling Anthony, are your lips real? And he goes, oh yeah, so forget my lips done. She goes, are you upset with me? And he's like, why would I be upset? Why would I be upset, you basic fucking nothing of a woman? And she's like, I don't know, you just seemed angry for a minute there.

So now the timing comes in where the guest has asked for this to all be out at eight on the dot. But of course the guests are not up at eight on the dot. They're getting ready and taking their sweet ass time. So Marina comes into the galley and she wants the food. Then so Laura's like, but are the guests even there? And she goes, no, but they asked me to be before eight so they will come.

That's what they said. And she's like, well, Blair said that there? And she goes, no, but they asked me to be before eight, so they will come, that's what they said. And she's like, well, Blair said that if we're not there by eight, bring it out. So let's just wait. It's like, but Blair said bring it before eight because then they'll come. And she's like, if they're not there at eight, bring it out.

She goes, well, he said something completely different to me, so he said. Oh no. I mean, what's the dream? What's the drill? Did he really say it in the submarine? Sorry. The everything froze. I think my lap, my computer was like, wait a second. There's a new mouse, but okay. I'm back. Sorry. Yes. Laura, continue on. Continue on. I'm just combining. So it's just timing. They're just talking about this,

whether it's served at eight or whatever. So then Laura's like, well, the guests are not going to be happy finding the hot food, now cold food, because they took an extra 10 minutes getting ready. I mean, the food needs to be hot. I mean, sorry, but sometimes I know better than the guests, which is true. You don't serve food to an empty table. That's crazy. What were you hoping would happen? Because I couldn't tell at that moment, there was part of me that didn't want Laura to fuck up again. Cause I was, I, I didn't, I didn't want her to be a fuck up. But then there was part of me that also felt like it was obnoxious that like she was disregarding the message that Marina was sending. So like,

I kind of wanted the guests to show up at, at, and be like, where's the food? No, Marina was doing that thing where she was like, the guest is always right. And I think that that's something you have to do to a degree, but Laura knows guests are stupid. And if she actually did that, the guests would be mad and they would also be right if they were mad. So she's like, no, you don't serve guests.

I'm glad she stuck to her guns and didn't listen to an underling. Cause if she listened to somebody lower in rank and fucked it up, that would be very bad. You know, that would be a very bad foot to set right at the beginning. Yeah, yeah. So, um...

Example to set foot to set. I don't know why I said that. So, Lara is, um, yeah, she's like, where is everyone? And the, like, match would be cold right now. So, Marina realizes that she messed up. She's like, where, where is everyone? And, and the like magic be called right now. So Marina, Marina realizes that she messed up. She's like, no, I learned, but Laura is right. They're not here yet. I could do better. I'm like, this is shocking after below deck down, I'm below deck sailing where the students were like, well, you know what? The only reason why

I gave that message is because Daisy didn't spy me to give me to give a better message. So it's not really my fault. And you know what? I don't even like Daisy's leadership in the first place. But here they're like, this is, I can learn from this. I really made a mistake. My boss is right. I'm like, this is so strange. It is weird. Yeah. I don't need Marina to like self-flagellate over it or anything, but yeah, it was, it was interesting. So then Serena's like, okay, here's some lobster, here's some steak, but apart from that, everything's vegan, even the cold bread, which is not that easy to do vegan, by the way. And so they're like, thanks. And now Adair and Marina are- How do you do it vegan? How do you do it vegan? Because you can't have an egg in there. The egg

would be the real issue, huh? Because you can do it with almond milk. The buttercream or whatever, or the buttermilk. Do you use buttermilk in biscuits? I'm not biscuits, cornbread. I guess you don't eat milk and cornbread all the time. I just use like the, Mark Bittman has a really good cornbread recipe in the New York Times that uses just milk, but I've done it with almond milk

before and it's like not as luscious, but the thing is there's an egg in there, I think. How do you do it without the egg? I don't know. Some things you can use applesauce for, for an egg, but I don't know. Well, we'll have to put a pin in there. We should look up a vegan cornbread.

Try it out. I'm sure, should I look it up right now? Is this a marching order? Vegan cornbread recipe? Yeah, we'll leave that in there. I wanna know. Okay. Everybody's wants to know. Here, how about the best vegan cornbread by Nora Cooks.

Okay, Nora, oh God, she goes, hello, I'm Nora. Okay, jump to recipe, enough of you, Nora. She is. You know, my husband loves cornbread, you know, and he hates animal products. What's a girl to do? Well, let me tell you what happened when I went to the post office this morning.

Here's what Nora has to say. This is it, the best vegan cornbread, just like mom used to make, but vegan. Soft, tender, and sweet, with just the right amount of cornbread texture. So she uses flour, cornmeal, sugar, salt, baking powder, unsweetened almond milk, canola oil, and I guess that's it.

Okay, well. Canola oil. But that's- There you go, there you have it. But I mean, that's, I thought there was eggs. I thought there was eggs. Well, you know what? Not in freaking cornbread.

Maybe not, maybe there never was an egg. Maybe there never was an egg. So now they're clearing dinner, doing all that and the deck is Pete Larkin The deck is getting ready to do a cowboy performance. They have to do a line dance and they're shirtless for this and Harry dances as the shirtless horse. And so, it's just a hooting and hollering great time. So, then Serena tells Anthony she needs help cleaning and he does. And he's actually being kind of decent for this five minutes.

So then Brie is giving a cabin run down while checking her work. And so Brie's like, you know, perfectionist can usually be seen as someone that can be overbearing. I mean, with Laura, the way she just appreciates yachting so much, she's someone I look up to and I admire. So whatever she needs, I'm here for it. What's happening in this season? The standard line on Below Deck is, you know, perfectionists are so overbearing and they just like don't see the bigger picture and like they just make my life, it's like a power trip. Like I do, I am not here for it, but they're like,

I love that she's a perfectionist. I love that she's like making me go back and refold this sheet 15 times until I get it right. Like I'm really learning a lot. There is something about the format that definitely needs that. If I were Chief Stu. We need that character.

Yeah, these, well, I think we kind of get one later. Of course it's the American, so that makes sense. Although Brianna's American too. Brianna's American too. Yeah, and there's also too many Americans on this. It's like two Americans, too many. So, Lara is saying how like, oh, the guys are nice and everything.

And Zarina's like, yeah. And she goes, you know, if it, if it had been anything worse, I don't know how I would have done dinner was perfect. And then Harry's talking to Anthony in the room and Harry's like, yeah, are you happy with the crew? And Anthony's like, yeah, the crew's nice and everything. And he's like, well, what about Zarina? And he's like, well, if she worked a bit cleaner,

it would be nice. It's like, well, sir, you were the one who was supposed to be cleaning and you complained about cleaning and now you're not cleaning. And now you're upset that there's no one to clean things. So, yeah. Sorry. And Harry's like, so what? Do you just have to clean up behind her then? He's like, yeah,

it's just like a mess everywhere. It's just dirty. That's just not how it work. You know what I mean? He's like, well, I'm sure if she said, I reckon you could be a bit cleaner. She'd say, yeah, okay, I'll try. You know, she wouldn't take offense. It's just about how you word it. If you go and go into blazing like, I'm fucking clean up after the opera. I just made myself so uncomfortable right now. And he's like, yeah, that would come the third time. Ooh, ooh. We're all so scared, Anthony.

Yeah, relax. Arrogant little fuck. Sorry you didn't get to make your hot sauce platter. You don't have to unleash your toxic outrage. Sorry you didn't get to do a variety of scotch bonnets. Sorry you didn't get to make a slow roasted short rib, yet paradoxically wanted to barbecue it too. Sorry.

Sorry it wasn't immersive enough for you. Yeah, sorry you couldn't use your immersion blender to make it more immersive. Okay, last day of charter. It's already 90 degrees in the morning. And Lara's asking if Adair can do cabins. So Adair's like, but wait, they're turning up cabins? Why would they be turning them up? I mean, they should just strip everything. I'm going to go tell them. I'm going to go tell them that they should just strip it. So'm going to go tell them. I'm going to go tell them that. They should just strip it." So she marches up to Lara like she's going to like school Lara on something. It's like, so are y'all going to turn up the rooms before, I mean, shouldn't we just wait and then strip everything once they leave? I mean, they're

only here for two more hours. She's, no, that's not how it works in yachting, darling. They have to be made perfect this morning, which I loved. I love when British people just condescend to us Americans because sometimes we really deserve it and we need it. And you know what, like Laura being so patronizing to Adair in that moment was just Jeff's kiss for me. It's not how it works in yachting. Well, you're going to tell a chief stew that you don't want to make up the rooms in the morning. That is completely stupid. And then she's like, well, my idea of guest treatment and her idea of guest treatment are so polar opposite.

You're from a mudboat, ma'am. I forgot about that. Are you fucking kidding me? You're only here because you thought you were going to get abducted and you seem to be down for it. Yeah, you idiot. Go make a bed. So Laura's like, well, Adair isn't used to working on a

super yacht. So, you know, I give her a little leeway, but God, this isn't Motel 6. Hold on for my British friends. It's an American thing, a trashy American motel that thankfully is restrained North America. Sorry. So now breakfast is being served and Bree's working on cabins with Adair. And she's like, well, we really have to pull

all the wrinkles out, because Laura wants all the wrinkles out and she wants it very tucked. I mean, she's amazing, isn't she cool? I just want to make her happy. I just, you know, I'm going to change this one because I don't think I can get the wrinkles out the way Laura likes it.

I'm going to change it. And Adair's like, oh God, just tuck it in for fuck's sake. I know. And then I do a really good job. I really want to learn the ins and outs of how to make a bed like these two's. So then now it's time to go back to the dock. Time to dock. Time to dock at the dock.

Better to dock at the dock than dock at, not a dock. That would be awkward. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened with captain Jason. So then Jason is like, well, I first time first time docking. It's a little bit of wind. So I'll need some good calls on my port side, you know? And then we see Jason as being like, all right, everyone's being spring, breast, spring, breast, breast, spring, thigh, chicken bone, wings. And also like Jason, are you putting in an order right now? Are you giving us commands?

A little bit of both. Lock a bit of butter on a whole skillet, ain't it? All right, we're gonna need good communication and planning. This is the test, let's go. So Vian's like, all right, Harry, Harry, that forward leading spring, that's gotta be your last one. After spring first, breast, breast, swing, swing around, swing around the side,

breast under, butt of the lid, butt of the lid, butt of the lid, butt of the lid. He just, he just suddenly converts into doing a catalog. All right. This is a bit too much chatter happening here on the radio. He's like, okay, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy, Missy So we are just talking too much. She's like, okay, Captain clear to clear to clear to turn clear to turn clear to turn eggs on the skillet eggs on the skillet hash browns coming down has bags come down got some cholesterol on the grill got some cholesterol wait for it to melt get melty melty melty sizzle sizzle bacon bacon bacon. Shrieks on the China never matter before no one cared. one can. Let's drop green. Nothing but greens, parsley, peppers, cabbages, celery, asparagus, watercress, and fiddle, fence, and lettuce. He said, all right, but it wasn't quite because I caught him in my arm. I'm a cotton one night.

It's like, all right, could we please do less into the woods on the radio? I'm trying to talk to God damn boat. So it's more like Vian is just kind of giving too much information and then there's a lot of stuff going back and forth and the boat pretty much is like as close to crashing to the dock as it can be because the poor fender just gets squeezed into a pulp and I think pops at one point. That fender gave its life for this docking and Jason's very embarrassed because you know he kind of has a reputation of crashing boats.

Yeah, he really does. It's like this poor guy just can't get a win, you know? And beyond actually, his problem is over communication, which is rare, you know? It's a weird season. He's just communicating too much. And he's like, please shut up on the radio. Too much. So they get up, they dock. And then everyone says goodbye. It starts to rain and everything. And Mark is like, so I just want you to say that the food was exquisite and you know, just like the authenticity, the integrity and just feeling our personalities. I've got to say just wonderful, excellent food. The sort of food you'll always remember. Like, I don't care how many anal beads are in me, because I'll know I had such good food coming out of me earlier. So, you know, what a great time.

And Anthony is just like, he's like shocked. He's shocked that they thought the food would actually be good. Yeah, he's such a little asshole. So then they meet at the bridge and Jason is like, yeah, coming into talking, we've got to find our feet, you know, I mean, Jesus Christ, point to the lines, I want the line on, I will say the communication on the radio was intense. All right, it was a lot. So what I want, I just want five meters, two meters, kick forward, clear on your port side. That's it. That's it.

That's it, Bosen. And he's like, okay, I'll stop talking so much. He goes, audio books. Audio books. That's the, that's where you go. It's like, it was just so much going. Audio books. Audio books. That's where you go. It's like, it was just so much going, it's like, it's just so much going on that radio.

It's like audio books. So then Johnny tells us, he says like, I've been impressed with Captain. He's a very motivating guy, you know, when a boat shit happens and you know, it just is what it is and we're here to fix it in a silent way. I think he's expert in that.

So big respect to Top G, nice. I was like, wait, so the egomaniac is like chill with the people who are over him. And something is wrong with this season. Everyone's way too like mature and responsive. Yeah, I know. They'll all go to hell soon. So Serena's like, oh my God.

I mean, I think Anthony sees me as like a new step mom and he doesn't really want it, but he has to put up with it. But I think we're finally bonding or it's just humoring me, but either way, either way it's working much better now. So, um, yeah, now it's like super rainy, super, super rainy. And now it's time for the tip meeting. He's like, Jason says, congratulations, everyone. We've got the boat together, a, super rainy. And now it's time for the tip meeting. He's like, Jason says, congratulations, everyone. We got the boat together, a lot of hurdles and there's a big effort from Lara to get everything going. And Zarina has done a great job in the galley as well. Okay. So here's the tip. It's $20,000, $20,000 US dollars, which only matters for two people on this entire cast. So congratulations. Everyone else has to do conversions. All right.

So that brings me to my old friend and he pulls out the disco helmet and he acts like he's going to give it to Johnny because Johnny got himself stranded in the middle of the ocean on the jet ski, but instead he gives it to Vian and that's like because Vian's in charge of him. And also Vian fucked up that docking too, but he doesn't give him shit like that. He's just like, you were in charge of the idiot who lost the key or whatever. So, you know, you have to wear it. And Serena's like, maybe you should wear it on the jet ski. So if you get lost again, we can find you.

Anthony's all mad that people chuckle. So I really thought that was funny. So- So we find out that Laura, Laura's in the yarding because she is saving up for an old barn, which I'm renovating. I managed to build to myself. I pay all the bills.

There's a little house in the back for dad. He's never visited. I can't imagine how many spoons are in that house just waiting for him. Dad, I got your spoon. Dad's house is completely built from spoons. It's all made out of spoons. So she's like, I'm just going to live there. It'll be my forever home one day, just me and the dogs.

And that's it. Me, dogs, and a lot of spoons. So then Vian is saying that he's got his helmet on. He's talking about how he's taking one for the team and everything and blah, blah, blah. Cause he's got the helmet on. So then now they're all gonna go out. And now this entire episode,

there've been like little moments of like Vian and Brianna kind of like encountering each other and being nice. And there was like a moment where like his shoes were squeaky and she's like, hi squeaky. So he's like, Brianna's definitely the prettiest girl on the boat and I truly believe I do have a shot with Bri. Usually I would develop a crush pretty quickly, especially when, you know, it's more person like Bri,

who was a former model for Vogue, you know, someone like that I'll tend to develop a crush for. I'm like, yeah, you think, you think? She was like the pretty girl? Yeah, the hot one. I like that they all make to develop a crush for. I'm like, yeah, you think, you think? She was like the pretty girl? Yeah, the hot one. I like that they all make it sound like some romantic story when they pick the prettiest girl on the boat.

They're like, oh yeah, it was meant to be. Although I will say, I think it might be meant to be between Vian and Brie because they are the exact same color. And I don't mean just their skin, like their hair even is the same. Because it's not the most normal color, right? It's kind of like a strawberry blonde, but like, I don't know, latte colored. I don't know how you would explain it. Yeah, but they're like the same color rust. You know, it's like they've both gone under kind of, yeah, they've both rusted to the same degree.

So I think they deserve to be together. They just look like they go. I don't know how to explain it, but I was like, that's just such odd coloring that they both have the exact same hair, you know? I didn't notice that with his hair. I noticed with her hair. I have no, like, when I think of him, I don't think of his hair.

I just thought, I feel like, is this hair spiky? It feels like it's spiky. No, it's like greasy. It's like kind of greased and I don't know how to explain it, but no, is this hair spiky? It feels like it's spiky. Is it spiky? No, it's like greasy. It's like kind of greased and I don't know how to explain it, but no, it's not spiky. But yeah, their hair color is so similar that I think that, I don't know,

I think people with the exact same hair color fall for each other. I don't know. I guess we'll see if it works out. Well, especially, I mean, like, you know, with gays, gays always, like not always, but like there is a large, with gays, gays always, like not always, but like there's a, there is a large segment of gays who date their mirror image and it's hilarious. And it's also, I

feel like so, I feel like it's so egotistical too. And like you see these gays and they pose together, they have the same facial hair, the same hair, the hairstyle, same hair color, same body type, same, same fashion. And they do it all the time. So this is sort of like an extension of that. It's like, well, your hair is rust colored and mine is rust colored, so we should probably date. Yeah, we should be together forever. I mean, yeah, gays do tend to date ourselves,

which is why I'm single. Like I got better taste in that. All right, so Harry is checking with Serena. So they're all out having a good time, you know, and Lara and Anthony are talking. And Lara's like, so what's your background with cooking? And he's like, well, when I was a kid, I've just always been good at it, you know, I mean, no, it sounds arrogant, but I don't want to be arrogant. I really just, you know, I don't really carry too much of an ego. That's me, no ego, me, no ego, Anthony, that's what they call me.

And Serena's just kind of over there biting her tongue, like, really? And then Harry's talking to Serena and she's like, so, um, my sous chef, has he said anything bad about me? And Harry could have just said, oh, no, he seems to really like you. But he goes, um, he sort of like laughs and smiles like, I know something. And he's like, well, he says he's been doing all the cleaning up after you. And she goes, well, yeah, you should. Cause he's my sous chef. I'm sorry, but that's what you're supposed to do. And he goes, I'm not disagreeing.

She goes, you know, first chart, I've already let him do guest food because he's complaining, so I have to fucking suck up to him. Oh, I have to clean up. I'd love to, I'd love to clean. Okay. If you don't want to wash up, then you get it. Go get a fucking head chef job and tell someone else to clean it. Definitely in need of a cigarette. And she just storms off from the table.

Yeah. She's like, here's one job to do and that's have my back. And instead he's talking shit about me to the other crew members. It's just so disrespectful. Yeah, she's right. But also don't ask that question if you don't want to hear that response because she kind of suspects that's the response. And now she gets the response and she's like, wait a second. The only answer was no, of course not. Well, I hope that her reaction to this is just to toughen up on Anthony in the kitchen and demand respect. And I hope it's not, let's have a talk about this because that's just not what this guy's gonna respond to, you know?

He's not, he needs, you know, he needs, he needs a stern mother who doesn't give a fuck if her baked potato was seasoned or not because she had a long day at work and that's what he's gonna get. What you get is what you get. Yeah, what you get is what you get, you little fuck. You know, when you learn to hold a fucking skillet,

you can do it. Yeah, exactly. Earn the respect and then you'll get the opportunities. Don't come in entitled to them. Yeah, and if Anthony's mother is out there and needs a place to vent about this little fucker and what he was like growing up, feel free to give us a call. I'd love to hear it. Yeah, we'd love to hear it. Thanks everyone for being here today. Fun times and we will have, we have all sorts of shows later this week so we'll look forward to hearing from you there and then of course don't forget to get your tickets to our mounting and

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