Watch What Crappens - #2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

This is part 2 of a two-part recapDouche cruise continues to douche up the Seychelles on Below Deck Down Under.  With Anthony gone, Tzarina has to cook and clean everything by herself, but luckily, she has a new love interest to keep her motivated.  OR DOES SHE?  To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You just realized your business needed to hire someone like yesterday. With Indeed, there's no need to stress. You can find amazing candidates fast using sponsored jobs. With sponsored jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates, so you can reach the people you want faster. And just how fast is Indeed? In the minute I've been talking to you, 23 hires were made on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide.

There's no need to wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $100 sponsored job credit to get your job's more visibility at indeed.com slash wonder ECA. Just go to indeed.com slash wonder ECA right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast.

Indeed.com slash wonder ECA. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, Indeed is all you need. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen. And ultimately you triumph in finding it again. Listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts. Watch What Crappins! Watch What Crappins! Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch What Crappins!

Watch What Crappins! Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Watch What Crappins! Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins! This is part 2 of a 2 part recap. If you're like, hey wait a minute I didn't hear part 1. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part 1, okay?

It's before we go back and listen to part 2. It's before we go back and a two part recap. If you're like, Hey, wait a minute. I didn't hear part one guys. It's because we put out a lot of recaps, go back and listen to part one. Okay. It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Harry goes into Vian's cab and he's like, so I just asked Brianna out on a date and she said yes. And they like high five, which is funny because Vian really, Vian is being very chill about the fact that he really wanted to go after Brianna and now his underling has, has stolen Brianna. Um, as is rightfully he is as he has as not do he is,

it's not a, not a proprietary thing, but I'm saying that in other, other below decks, people would take the stance of like, she was mine and I'm the boss. She belongs to me first, the picking order, bro. And Vion's just like, guess I lost. Yeah, and not only that, but he also got stuck with Harry in his room. And now the other room is just Johnny.

So he should move back to the other room again. Yeah, he should. Because now Vion has to just sit here and listen to Harry talk about how Harry kissed the girl that Vian liked. But you know what though? I think this actually in an episode where we're talking about testosterone, this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I think this actually speaks of big Dick energy from Vian because he's chill

about it. He's he's not unwrapped. He doesn't unravel. He's not insecure about it. He's not like his identity is not wrapped up and being able to get the model on the boat. He's like, fine, great. I missed out. On to the next. He's also like wanting to bring everybody on the boat, which is what we find out in his next monologue. He's like, well, I thought I had chemistry with Bree, but you know, Harry ended that experiment for me. However, I'm still looking for love. You know, Serena's awesome. We're having fun. Like who doesn't like attention? I love, that's such a guy thing. Like, well, he's giving me attention. She's giving me attention. So I like her. And

then they make a little heart with Serena and then Marina. Marina and Serena. Wow. Never really noticed that. So he also likes her because she's very forward and she can really appreciate a scuba diving trip. So that turns him on. And also, how can you not like a Brazilian? I mean, a dare, I mean, she's hot, you know, she's spunky. She's used to being covered in mud. Who doesn't love that? You know? And Laura, sure, her eyebrows are a little askew,

but otherwise she's like a Barbie put together with a potato head. You know, who doesn't wanna fuck that? So he's like in love with everybody on the boat, so he doesn't want to fuck that? So he's like in love with everybody on the boat. So he doesn't care. He really is. He's, you know, always looking for an open port. Oh, what's that? No.

Is there a lady in there? I hear a lady talking. I know it's not, there's not like, is your phone? Oh my God, it's my watch. Shut the fuck up. What's your? Your what? It was playing a commercial from the writers panel podcast.

What a creep, that creeped me the hell out. And I looked down and it's only Bueller there. And I was like, finally Bueller's talking to me. This is the end. Your task rabbit arrived. It's like, surprise. Sorry sorry my hot brother was ill today, so here I am, a lady who you definitely wanna fuck, right? I'm like, sorry, sorry, Ben,

but there's somebody standing downstairs holding a boombox up. Playing something romantic, gotta go, my TaskRabbit's here. I would love it if that's how TaskRabbit's arrived. So now everyone goes to bed and now people wake up. It's the next day and Zarina is in the kitchen and she drops a giant pan on the floor.

It's like, and I was like, wow, I'm sure the sound department really appreciated all that in their headphones right now. I was like, wow, I'm sure the sound department really appreciated all that in their headphones right now. I was like, oh God, Serena, you're such a grumpy cut fitness today. And then captain comes in and he just looks down and goes, hmm, good morning. Ah, protein balls. She's like, yeah, do you want one? He goes, no.

He's like disgusted at the protein balls. He's like, I think that we want to be starting to haul. So pick up Anker by 11 and so Vian's like, okay, sure. Harry can drive the tenders, yada, yada, yada. And so Harry is then checking on Brianna, asking if she's slept well. And he's like, I'm planning a date, it's in my head. Oh, we're gonna go on a date.

She's like, you are? I said, yeah, I'll let you know when I have a plan. She's like, I'm so excited. I'm like, literally, please don't to go on a date. She's like, you are. I said, yeah, I'll I'll let you know another plan. She's like, I'm so excited. I'm like, literally please don't subject us to that. My least favorite thing on blow deck, a sweet blow deck date. I literally thought when I saw this, I was like, let me guess you're going to go to an ice cream shop because it doesn't, that sounds so like Harry like I'm going to, I've got a diet.

We're going to a soda shop. I'm going to get a little ice cream. Then after that, maybe we'll play a little skee ball or something like that. It just seems very Harry. And then that's what they do. They go get some ice. Yeah. I called it. Yeah. And it's just as boring as you can imagine.

So then beyond, meanwhile, asking a dare, if she's excited, like what, for two tonight, going out with the, with the group. And she's like, yeah, there are a lot of outfits I want to wear that I can't wear because my belly is so pale and like, you know, yeah, because my belly is pale compared to the rest of my body. So I can't show off my belly but see that I'm wearing the mudboat uniform. So I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. So now they are on deck and Vion's talking about who likes who and he thinks Adair liked Anthony and Harry's like, well, who's she gonna fancy now?

And Vion's like, I don't know, she's definitely my type, but they're all kind of my type in a way. I can find something about everybody. So then we cut to the table and the guest Eric is like, yeah, let me tell you guys Women have the power to control men if they just knew a few little secrets now Let me tell you I need you to tell me I'm the man every day number one Number two touch me Non-sexually every day and I need you to fuck me regularly That's all you need to do then then you can totally control. Oh, just that. Just that. I need to deal with your fragility every single day by saying that

you're the man because you don't have enough self-esteem to arrive to that conclusion on your own. So you need external validation from me because otherwise your entire worldview will collapse. Okay, got it. Number two, you need me to touch you non sexually every day, but also very sexually every day. Got it. So you just want to be touched. You just want to be fucked and touched every single day. Okay. So you're basically needy and alone in this world. And, um, without some sort of physical or, or emotional connection, you are just going to crumble, uh, because you don't have enough. Um,

you don't have enough confidence in yourself to just forge forward like a true wolf and just shut the fuck up and do what you have to do to get your money and get food on the table. Got it. Number one, tell me my hair looks real. Number two, tell me it looks like I naturally don't grow hair on my back. And number three, tell me my face doesn't look like a baseball glove. The end, yeah, let me come all over you.

Wow, that's it, sounds easy. Here are the three secrets, here's the three secrets that women can use to control men. First of all, serve lattes that are 30 calories or less. Second of all, fuck me after the latte. Third of all, second latte please. But it has to be zero calories. I already used my 30 calories up in the first one.

That's it. Oh, so Laura's listening to this because she's behind the bar and she's like, what? He's like, yeah. And you come home with a list of shit, I'll do it. But don't start with that. Start with support. Like this hand, touch my arm, doc. Yeah, bro.

Touch it. Touch it. Touch it, bro. Touch my hand. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. It just came out my pants. Oh, my God. Fuck. You want me to do the laundry? I'll fucking do it. Yeah. Touch me, bro. Guys, we live in a society full of beta men snowflakes that are all like, oh, emotions, emotions. Okay. Fuck those bros. We need to be an alpha male, an alpha male who when confronted with some things that he may need to do says, I can't hear that right now. It's too much for me. Come on, touch my arm instead. Touch my arm. That's what a real alpha does. What a douchebag. And can we just have one meal? Can your poor friends have one meal where you're not trying to solve your self-help bullshit?

My God. So Lara's like, yeah, I've met people like Eric before, and they're my ex-boyfriends for a reason. Most likely because they couldn't stop looking at me kind of cross-eyed trying to figure my eyebrows out and then left. I didn't like him either, so. You know what?

God, just want to add one more thing. Men have a connection to women that shows love through sex. Yeah. Well, I'm sure this guy has a lot of self love too. So, um, uh, now it's drop off day. So everyone's excited about that. To get this. Like men really, men really show their emotions through sex. No, they don't. Men can fuck goats. Like men, men can fuck anything. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah. Those words will and will be used against you because when you inevitably cheat on your woman and you say, no, I've met nothing. It was just like, whatever. It didn't mean anything. You're on camera saying when you fuck, it's because you love someone you You're showing love through fucking. So congratulations, you just condemned yourself for all future cheating excuses. Well, whatever I'm trying to say.

You fucking suck. Yeah, I gotcha, I gotcha. He's backing himself into a corner for sure. Thank you, much better. So then they finally get to drop off these fucking losers. So Serena's talking to the captain about crew lunch. She's like, what did you want for crew lunch? And he's like, nothing. You've got all this food left over. And she's like, Oh, we've got to eat

something for the night out. I mean, last time they'd sat down and hadn't hadn't even had a proper lunch. I mean, it's a lot for them. It's a lot of work. I've got to make them food. He's like, then just put this food out there. I mean, make them some wraps with it. And she's like, we don't have wraps. Lady is trying to make this easier on you. Yeah. And he's like, well, this is lunch. And she goes, is it? Yeah. I mean, just turn this into a brunch. That's fine. Cause it's all breakfast food. And she goes, really? And Jason's like, I generally understand. You know, I generally know Zarina cares for

the crew. And to me to say, don't feed them. That's fine. That's against what she would want to do. But she's just had that problem with the sous chef didn't work out so we can support ourselves with the food that's there. There's, there's enough food there. We're not going to starve. And basically she tells Laura like, yeah, we're just the, we'll just have this brunch food after, after the tip meeting or whatever, or we'll have it early. Like this is going to be the food that you're going to have and you'll eat dinner later tonight. And so Laura's like, okay, so we'll look at brunch, whatever. But Zarina is like losing her mind.

Yeah. So then the guests, or Johnny is cleaning, you know, they're cleaning, whatever. So Lara checks on Zarina later and she's like, Oh my God, Jason's just pissing me off. I mean, I've just done breakfast. Now I have to add onto it by doing nothing with this food. What is she complaining about? He didn't ask her to do anything extra. He asked her to do less. Yeah. She's like, I don't know.

I think she's just in a spiral. And she's like, I mean, so I have to make this other breakfast and now like stuff's gonna get cold. And now he wants me to do more stuff. And on top of that, you know, Vian is just like in love with me. So I have to deal with that. And it's that's got a lot of pressure on me. And just like the whole reason why we do it after the tip meeting, she starts going on and on and on about it. And he's right there in the next

room over and she's going on and on and on. And finally he just walks in and he's like, all right, what's the, what's the problems, Irina? Do you want to come out now? What's, what's going on here? I'll save you cooking preparation after the tip meeting. And you know, more than happy to have you cook again. Do you see what I'm trying to say? I'm trying to save you from having to cook more. She's like, Oh, she starts to cry. Like a school to daughter. And he tells us, don't stop picking a fight with me. I'm on your side. I'm here to support you make your job easier. I've come up with a solution. You don't like

it. Then don't listen to it. You know, is this the way it's going to be all season? I'm not going to put up with it. I'll tell you that. No, no. So then it just cuts to Serena still crying in the kitchen. She's like, I have to make too much for I can't make any of it. So then the Lara's consoling her and Serena's like, yeah, it's just hard trying to get used to being a solo chef again. I'm still really in my head around that. You get in my head around it. It just didn't need Jason and I fighting on top of it.

It's just, I put so much pressure on myself that I just get into my head about it. And I just think after being bullied and put down and let down, I kind of do it to myself now my own biggest villain, you know, that's why I don't like to put spoons out there. You only get smacked on the head with a spoon so many times in your life that you don't want to put into a bowl for people, you know? So Captain Jason's like, all right, everyone, time to dock or whatever. So they, they go and they dock. Thank God we get some more wisdom from Eric before he leaves. He's like, you know what's funny? If you fast for three days and you eat like five tic tacs,

your veins pop out of your arms like you're the Hulk. Look at my veins. You didn't fast for three days. What the fuck are you talking about? We watched you eat. Yeah, and I don't think the veins are popping because of the tic tacs. That's the steroids.

Yeah. Yeah, man. Intermittent fasting followed by a tic tacs. This is steroids. Yeah. Yeah, man. Intermittent fasting followed by a tic tac, tic tac break fast. Does amazing things of your vascularity, bro. All right. So now they have to dock the boat. And he's like, all right, just wanted to say good call on that Marine pier up there on my port side. Nice job, deck crew. And Vian's like, copy that. I'll keep my audio book down. So the guests say goodbye and everything.

And Eric has this really important, uh, goodbye speech. He goes, Oh man, you guys are such a gift. I mean, there's not one toxic trait in this crew. I'm like, literally, okay, you're not, so this is how I know you're a charlatan, because you cannot be on blow deck without being full of toxic traits. So the fact that you didn't pick up on all the toxic traits swirling around you shows that you're a fraud.

But he goes, you guys are incredible. You're going to inspire the world. This is for you guys, my toxic traitless friends." So he hands it off and then Eric goes to his car with his friends. He goes, one of the best exit speeches on earth just happened. They all loved it. Wait till I tell Tebow about this. The only way this could have been better is if I had a screen with starving children in Africa above me while I said it. God damn it. I'm good. God, I'm great. So everyone's clean. Everyone cleans up their children in Africa.

Once I gave them three tick tocks, you should have seen their veins. You should have seen. So now it's time for the tip meeting. Everyone goes to the tip meeting. There's no disco helmet this time. He goes, well, we lost a crew member and we'll do our best to get a substitute and you'll probably be doing the next charter by yourself at that spawns arena. And whether the dick's a man up down or a thumb down,

we're going to move around, support each other because that's what we're here to do. So basically- I could have sworn he was gonna give that to Serena. I thought he was gonna be like, well, Anthony's not here but you're the department head, so you to give that to Serena. I thought he was going to be like, well, Anthony is not here, but you're at the department heads. So you have to wear it Serena. But I think he just wanted to avoid the tears. Yeah. So he basically was like, yeah, this helmet belongs to Anthony. And then he was like, all right, the tip was $22,000. And

we're going to take Anthony's tip. And it like, whoo. Personally, for these guys to talk so much, this guy to talk so much about success to be, and it was a two day charter, yada, yada, yada. I don't know. I personally thought it should have been $25,000 for tip, not $22,000. So honestly, this guy, you can talk about being an alpha male all you want,

but you certainly tipped like a beta male. But he left them nuggets of wisdom, which are priceless. You know what I mean? Say the dragon. Say the dragon man. So now, Rihanna is passing Serena's room and she's shirtless, but she's wearing this like pink bra with diamond straps. And he's like, what are you doing?

And she's like, yeah, it's because all my other ones are dirty and I haven't got around a washing arm. So, you know, sniffing her armpits. She's like, yeah, you know, I'll just wear my party lingerie when I'm cooking now. And he's like, yeah, I've got him, got him hooked. I don't know how anyone could look at Vian and not be attracted to him.

Obviously I have a type, manly, short, muscly guy. So I'm hoping I could get to know him a bit better. And we see pictures of like Culver. That didn't work out so well. So she's like, Oh, I reckon I've got another day in this one, this bra, which I like to spend on my lady musk. He's like, Oh, very nice. Very nice. So, um, um, people are going to go, are going to go out and everything. And they're talking about hair and like, Oh, you look good, et cetera. And Marina is saying that she has a crush on beyond and she's like, you know, he's handsome. He's a nice guy. And I want to get to know him a little bit more,

but I demand a lot and maybe he's got what it takes. I demand much scuba. That's scuba for grandpa. Commercials, here comes one right now. Imagine this. You help your little brother land a great job abroad, but when he arrives, the job doesn't exist. Instead, he's trapped in a heavily guarded compound,

forced to sit at a computer and scam innocent victims, all while armed guards stand by with shoot to kill orders. Scam Factory, the explosive new true crime podcast from Wondery, exposes a multi-billion dollar criminal empire operating in plain sight. Told through one family's harrowing account of sleepless nights, desperate phone calls, and dangerous rescue attempts, Scam Factory reveals a brutal truth.

The only way out is to scam their way out. Follow Scam Factory on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Scam Factory early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. In the 1980s, a rose swept the country. Hey, Mike, I really like this white Zinfandel. Well, good, good. Now put it down. I'm going to try another one. White Zin became America's top-selling wine. But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history. What began in 1986 with counterfeit bottles,

A big fraud, a multi-million dollar fraud. Sent investigators chasing one of the most powerful families in the business, the Lacharties. But the closer the feds got to them, the more dangerous things became. It's a story of deceit, threats, and murder. What started with a scheme to mislabel wine spilled into a blood-soaked battle for succession. Welcome to Blood Vines.

You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple podcasts, or Spotify. At 24 I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.

So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.

Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. you can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. So now they go eat and Marina's like, so they're all saying Bon Appetit. And Marina's like, well, how do you say Bon Appetit in your own language? You all speak English. Do it. And Pete Slauson That dear goes, dig in! Jared Larkin Dig in! Is that what we say in English? So,

then Harry is offering a prawn to Brianna because they're in love. And she's like, I don't think so. I've never had one of those. Pete Slauson And he's like, really? It's like, have you never had a prawn? You haven't been to South Africa, have you? And she's like, no. So she tries a prawn and she likes it. So the chemistry is off the charts. Yeah, it's huge. Like, listen, the man who gives you your first prawn, I mean, come on. So Zarina has dated a few South Africans and she's like, but I've, and she's telling this to Vian and she's like,

but I've only been cheated on by South Africans. So it's a bit of a soft spot for me. And he goes, don't worry, I'm half Dutch. I cheat on you, but I'm on time. Sorry, that's Swiss people. What are Dutch people known for? I cheat on you, but I give you a chocolate after. I'm always on time.

It's funny that he is half Dutch, because I can totally see him wearing one of those like old timey Dutch hats, you know, in the paintings. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. With the little buckles and... He is like actually, now that I, he is so, he is so Baroque period.

If you'd think, if you really look at Vian, like look at like a Baroque Dutch painting. Like some Baroque. Paratites and some leader hos in, booty leader hos. Like with that hat. Like wearing those hat, those big swoopy hat, and then like the white like frilly thing here. I could totally see Vion like that.

That is really the era that he should be in. Yeah. Oh, so we go back to my favorite story of lives, Brianna trying a prawn and she's like, Oh, that's actually really good. It's like, I told you, our children are going to love them. She's like, Oh my God, do you think it's going to talk to me about feeding me that prawn? If we kiss and we have prawns in our mouth, does it still count as a kiss or is it the prawns are kissing? I don't know, there's just like so many things

racing through my head. So Johnny meanwhile has a story. He shows Marina a photo of him with his grandfather. He's like, he's Johnny, I'm Johnny. She goes, oh. I do it at every dinner. She's Johnny, I'm Johnny. Who doesn't do that?

Who doesn't just whip out a picture of their grandfather at dinner? Like, oh, look, my grandfather. Oh, that's great. He's Johnny, I'm Johnny. My father, he had affairs, so my mother sent him off when I was five years old. But growing up, I used to hate my father.

And then he tried to bring us back into his life and I'm friends with him. He's not my father though. He's not Johnny. I'm John, grandfather Johnny. He's just another Johnny. Just another Johnny. So Marina's like, so he's not your father figure.

And he's like, no, my mother is both father and mother. Where's her picture then? My mother, Johnny. So he's like, my mother is definitely a get shit done person. My brother and I, she raised us, crazy boys. She was cleaning, she was cooking. I was floating out in the middle of the ocean

because I got lost one time. But she was doing two or three jobs. Now she's 62 and she has six pack. Yeah, I got that from her, definitely. Yeah. She must've been going to Eric's staff. She's like, no excuses, Johnny. No excuses. Johnny, slay dragon.

Marina's like, for me, family is my priority in life. It's like, yes. Tell me about your Johnny. So now everyone leaves. Okay, so we just got to stop the car for a second because casting hi So this is now another deck crew who comes from a parent that loves him. Are you even working over there Shelley? Anybody over there? Okay. Go ahead. Yeah, it's it's it's a bit of a problem So they're back on the boat Z Zarina hugs Vian and like the, she hugs him. And Zarina's like, so what's going on?

Like, is this real? Is this real? And he picks her up and she's like, am I heavy? He's like, no. And they're just being very flirty and physical, you know? And then Marina and Adair decide to go to bed while everyone else goes up to the hot tub. And they are in the hot tub, which Harry is sitting sitting in Harry. What are you doing in that hot tub with your with your your thumb? Keep your thumb away from the water

It's a gremlin. Okay, but they play truth or dare you got time to tub you got time to scrub boy That's right. Take a nap. So they're only to get your leaky shit in the hot tub so they're gonna play truth or dare and to get your leaky shit in the hot tub. So they're going to play truth or dare. And Zarina's dare is really lame. She says, Okay, Harry, run over there. And I want you to scream I'm a hero off the back of the boat. So he goes and does that. And it's like fine. What and Laura doesn't like truth or dare mostly because

she's an adult. And she's like, Yeah, you know, I hate this game because it could lead to's like, Yeah, you know, I hate this game because it could lead to sticky situations, literally, and awkward conversations. I just don't want to be part of that. You know, well, Laura played truth today and someone dared me to do my own eyebrows with a sharpie and now look at me, you know, never gonna leave me alone. Also Laura is building her own she's like renovating a barn in the English countryside that she just wants to live there with a bunch of dogs and not speak to people. And I think that once you decide on that path in life, you basically forfeit your truth

or dare card. You're like, sorry, I am no longer allowed to play this game because I've decided I'm going to renovate a barn in the English countryside. So fortunately, that's no more truth or dare for me. Truth or dare is no longer part of my life story. I'm renovating a barn in the English countryside. It doesn't, the two things don't work. You can't do both those things.

Yeah. And by the way, Vion and Harry are both wearing matching Speedos. Why are they wearing matching Speedos? So he does it. He screams, I'm a hero. And Laura's like, yes, yes, you are Harry. I'm a little giraffe hero. So now Harry, what?

I just said baby giraffe just yes, ending. Well, I'm a little baby giraffe. So now Harry is like, Okay, my turn beyond talk to this girl over here about our kiss. Tell her I enjoyed it. So he dares beyond to kiss Zarina and then they kiss and it's hot. And Zarina is like, you know, obviously a horned up. I mean, who wouldn't be? Beyond is really hot. I feel like I'm every week. I'm appreciating more and more that beyond is really hot. And so then, uh,

like, Oh my God, it's hot. So Lara's like, okay, Johnny truth of dad. And he's like, there, wait, are you talking to me? Am I going on father? No, you, my God, it's hot. So Lara's like, okay, Johnny, truth or dare? And he's like, dare. Wait, are you talking to me or my grandfather? No, you, Johnny. Okay, dare. I'm sorry, which Johnny, hero Johnny or other hero Johnny? Like you, right? Now do a sexy strip dance on Serena.

By the way, Serena said after that, she goes, I went over the moon that that was our first kiss. So that means that there's gonna be other kisses. So Serena's like, he's mine now, you know? So now Johnny has to strip over her and do a strip tease and he does the weirdest fucking strip tease. He goes, he stands above her and then wipes his hairy ass on her face.

That's some crazy shit right there. I've never seen that and I'm gay. I thought he was gonna be better at this because they showed it in the coming up and we see him do this, because they showed it in the coming up and we see him do this, but they edit it in the coming up where it looks like really sexy. And I was like, I was already getting excited. I was like, I can't wait for this strip. He's over this lap dance. Cause like, I was like,

I can, I started to imagine like Johnny, I can actually sort of see him doing like a really like sexy thing. And then when he actually did it, I was like, Oh no, he just, that was the editing that gave him a little bit of an assist there. It was really, really bad. And Vian's like, oh, he's like Channing Taintum. That is Channing Taintum.

He's wiping his taint all over his face as discussing. And then he just starts throwing. Channing Taintum. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, Channing Taintum. Yeah, Channing ain't him. Yeah. Ain't him. Channing ain't him. So, um, uh, yeah.

So everyone said, everyone goes to sleep. And while this is all happening, they keep cutting to Marina asleep because it's like, oh, look, you snooze, you lose. Yeah. So they're, they're all going to their rooms and Laura's like, oh, Zarina, he kissed you. She was like, oh my God, it was so nice. His lips are perfect. I want them all over my body right now.

So Zarina's falling for him, obviously. And Vion tells Harry she was a good kisser too. So now everybody goes to bed and then Captain Jason does some yoga on the deck. Well, I guess someone isn't really into seal, seal revolutionary videos on YouTube, like Captain Glenn. I mean, I need more content from Jason. I'm just saying, I don't know why I'm disappointed in Jason today. I just am.

So then Harry goes over to him and goes, he's like, Hey, Jason, I've got a favor. Could you tell Bri about the kiss I had with her? I just don't really feel like having the conversation. Also, I've asked Briana out on a date. He's like, okay, well, haven't we been down this road before? We see a flashback to Margo last year being like, um, you're not seriously looking for relationship, are you Harry? Because I'm not, I mean,

I'm just not sexually attracted to you in any sort of way whatsoever. I don't know how else to say that to you. I miss Margo's face whenever Harry was flirting with he'd be like, hello Margo and she'd be like, um, like the next strain of like, oh, so back to it back. I'd say you don't have to miss her face. You can just watch Southern charm and Sienna. Oh yeah. The cringe, just utter cringe. So Harry was like, Oh, you know, don't worry. This time it's too high. It's reciprocal. And he's like, well, good. That's good to hear, mate. All right. Good. Got a bit mojo to you. You've got my blessing. May the force be with you, my friends. May the force be with you. That's a nerdy thing to say, right?

Do you understand that? I'm speaking your language. She's like, very good, Captain. So then Vian goes into the galley while Zarina's prepping, and she's like, that's so weird kissing you yesterday. She's like being flirty, and he's like, yeah, you're a good kisser.

She's like, Bindi, that's- They talked about their kiss. Oh. And he's like, yeah, you're a good kisser. She's like, really? They talked about their kiss. That's good, you know, you have the most beautiful lips I think I've ever, that I've ever touched my. You know, I think I have a little bit of a crush on Vian. I really want to get to know his personality. And, you know, I haven't had a meaningful relationship in years and he's just a really, really good kisser. I'm so excited that our relationship is definitely a relationship and going forward.

It's just wonderful. Yeah. Once I wipe the ass hairs off of my face, I could really say for that kiss. So then Brianna and Marina are cleaning their rooms and talking about the jacuzzi session. And Brianna's like, well, Vian on and Serena kissed and they talked about it. She's basically pregnant and Marina's like, no way, come on. But he took me to the scuba dive. And she's like, yeah, they were playing truth or dare.

But everyone knows if you go to scuba dive, you're basically married. So she says the Latina and me is like, bitch, how dare you? We don't, but then again, we don't have anything together, but how dare you? So now it's 20, 21 hours until charter. And we go to captain Jason and Harry in the break room, talking about clothes, like what he's going to wear on his date.

And he's like, Oh, do you need to borrow some clothes, mate? He's like, I've got a salmon shirt. And he goes, that's coral. He goes, it's salmon. And he's like, yeah, that's coral. All right. I'm a kimono King. Do you want to have a look? Let me, let me just show you some clothes. And he tells us, I wouldn't say Harry's got the best style. I mean, he's going out on a date with a model. He's got to pick his game up. Linen. Linen is the key. The linen did look good on him though, because you know, Harry would have worn some sort of like, you know, khaki short shorts or something.

So they put him in some nice linen duds and he's like, it's what dad's a fool, you know? And then Harry, like he puts it on everything and he's, and Harry's telling people he's wearing Jason's pants and everything. And then, so he meets up wearing Jason's pants and everything. And then so he meets up with Brianna and she's like, oh my God, I like this color on you. Are we gonna talk about colors? Okay, how are we talking about colors first or kissing?

I'm just like really confused. Are we gonna have this conversation or not? He's like, I'm wearing salmon. It's salmon. You mean coral? Short salmon. So it's raining, but he's prepared with an umbrella. And it's like so romantic. So they go on their date and then Serena and Johnny are talking about,

you know, how her back hurts and stuff. And so he gives her a massage and she's like, thank you. That's so good. Tell me that on, what did she say to him? I guess it's later. Oh yeah. Okay. So first we go to Marina. She's talking to Vian at the coffee bar. And Vian's like, well, you should have come. We had a lot of fun yesterday in the hot tub. And she's like, oh, really? Well, I was tired. And he was like, you missed out. She goes, oh, well, I didn't know you were having such great time, huh? How was the great time that you were having? And he's like, Oh, she's a good kisser. And she goes, yeah, I'll have to try it out. He's like, Oh, what's that? She goes, what? And he's like, well,

you should have come last night. And she goes, well, what are you doing tonight? Because well, I'm, I'm going to work out. And then she's like, of course you will. And then meanwhile, the massage is- Nothing says he wants you like, I'm working out. Can't wait to make out with you. What are you doing in five minutes? Pushups. Wow.

So Zarina, so now the massage is still happening downstairs and Zarina's like, you could tell me that I'm a strong independent woman and I've got this. Could you tell me that? And he's like, you're a strong independent woman. You've got this mother. What? I mean, Zarina. Now lie down while I sit on your face. She's like, okay, it's enough of that. We're not playing truth or dare right now. Please, I'm planning some soups. So then back at the coffee bar. With a fork, fork only soups.

Don't get it into your head. So Marina invites Vihan to the bar to get some iced tea and chill. So he's like, okay. And she goes, it's a date. And he's like, oh geez. So then we go to the real date and some iced tea and chill. So he's like, okay. And she goes, it's a date. And he's like, oh geez. So then we go to the real date and ice cream shop. Oh my God.

And Brianna's like, oh, I want some ice cream. Let me see. What's the best seller? Do you have prawn ice cream? I just started to eat those. They're like, no. So they get- I can't even take that as a joke

because there are places that probably would serve that now. Like that one place. I once had lobster ice cream. And it was bad. You did? It was bad. I had cheese ice cream. I think it like salt and straw or something.

And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I am like, when it comes to funky flavors, so like, it just doesn't always work out. There's some places that can do it well. So like, it just doesn't always work out. There's some places that can do it well, like Jenny's, Jenny's does the funky flavor really well. Like have you had their pancake? Jenny's has, they have like a maple syrup and pancake ice cream.

And that's a lot of those. That sounds amazing. I've been eating that. Yeah, that sounds amazing. Yes. And then they also have like a, there's some, they just, there was just some amazing one that they sent me that was really good.

Okay, well, they didn't send me any. Thanks a lot, Jennys. I'm on the Jennys list now. There's gonna be all sorts of cool flavors now. Whatever, Jennys. But they do good ones. Salt and Straw does their funky flavors okay, but some places try to be really cute and clever

and they just like let Jennie's and salt and straw do it because it's not gonna work. I got real funky the other day eating ice cream. I ordered two kinds and I ate them both. Mint chocolate chip and regular chocolate chip. Okay, they were amazing. I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Chocolate chip and me chocolate chip.

It was chocolate chips over here and it was delicious. You should definitely try out the pancake, the pancake one. And Judy, our friend Judy, she says she's turning into a commercial for Jenny's. I swear it's not supposed to be, but she had, apparently Jenny's also has like a blueberry pancake ice cream that she had recently. And she was, she texted me and was like, this is the most amazing thing of all time.

So that's my advice. I love ice cream. Okay, so back on the stage. I'm solicited. So she gets coconut and he gets strawberry, very important. And she's like, my family owns an ice cream shop. Well, I never want an ice cream date. Wow.

The chemistry again, off the charts. So he tries to feed her ice cream, but then he gets the ice cream on her nose. He's like, I'm sorry, that's because I can't use my thumb. I did it on purpose so that, so that, so I can do that." And then he touches her nose. He goes, oh, so what do you think about yachting, prawns, anything? And she's like, wow. I wasn't, I wasn't, I got into yachting cause I was in Aruba and I was bartending.

And then I got introduced to the captain and he was like, I love your personality. And I want you to come on my boat tomorrow. And you know, I thought nothing safer than just going on a boat with a stranger. So here I am. It's hard to be a model. God, just how shit happens. Like I was just bartending and someone said you should come on my super yacht. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, totally happens to the rest of us every fucking day, Brianna. So he's like, wow, beer. Well, I've sailed since I was six, because my parents sailed and I was a sailing instructor. I was like 12 and I was teaching little kids that

is sale. That's incredible. I always wanted to be a marine biologist. That has nothing to do with sailing, but I just want to tell you about myself. Maybe that's why I'm getting my masters in. I'm going to get my masters in Marine biology. Well, yeah, that would help if you, if you always wanted to be a Marine biologist, it probably would be helpful to pursue an advanced degree in Marine biology. She's like, that's why I got an MFA in dance to become a Marine biologist.

I just want to feed dolphins ice cream. I just want to feed dolphins ice cream. That's why I went to school to become an electrician. She's really putting two and two together. Model dreams. So back on the boat, people are doing work and stuff. And meanwhile, Harry gets to hold hands with his thumb on one hand. So they're like into each other. She thinks he's like super sharing and caring. And she's like, I've never seen anything like it in my life. Oh, I just haven't felt giddy since

my ex. I mean, he just makes me feel so special. And he's doing it not inside New Jersey, which is a huge plus. So they come back to the boat and they walk into the galley and Serena's like, so how was your date? Just want to hear what worked, what didn't work. So on my future date with Vian, I'll know what to look out for. And he's like, oh, she's beautiful. So genuine and so all happy. Meanwhile, the other day Marina, she's a shit or at the bar. I should say, uh, it's not even on a date yet. They're just upstairs because this episode is never ending.

Marina is talking to Brianna about going on a date with Vian and how Marina basically says, I asked them out and that they're going to be going to a bar. So now they get ready and they go off to the bar and Vian and Marina are ordering drinks. They're ordering Negronis and stuff like that and being flirtatious. And he's like, Oh, I'm so glad you asked me to come. And she's like, well, I didn't want to make things weird to be completely honest. He's like, well, it's not weird at all.

I love this. This is wonderful. And she's like, but, it's not weird at all. I love this. This is wonderful. And she's like, but you took me scuba diving. So get over here. And they make out. She made him a bracelet of some sort, like a Taylor Swift friendship bracelet. She gives it to him.

And then they, yeah, they make out. It says Bezos. It's to celebrate the best party in Salt Lake city of the year. She's like, Oh, got it. So then it comes back to, you know, so she's, she's with him. So of course it keeps cutting back to Serena going, where is everyone? Is anyone here still?

And she finds out that they went on a pool day and guess who tells her, messy ass Harry. Of course. Yep. And she's like, yeah, she's a dion on a pool day, a pool ball date. And she's like, what? And she looks upset and he's like, wait, what's the date? Did I get that wrong?

Whoops. So then we cut back to them making out and then Serena goes to her room all upset. She's like, my brain is cooked. I can't do this tonight. And she goes into her room and she slams the door and she goes, backstabbing bitch. Are they roommates or no? No, they're not roommates.

I think Marina's with the dare. So yeah, once again, Serena, just when she starts to like a guy, last season it was Culver and now the season is Vian. He gets, he winds up going off with someone else. Sad. Gosh, always the sea chef, never the chef. Which doesn't really work in this, but still. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here.

I don't know why this was a two parter. I don't know. I don't really have anything. Nothing happened. But you know what, there's sometimes, you gotta have a two-parter because it takes one man to do two parts. That's right, alpha man, bro. No excuses, Ronny, it's a two-parter and that's just the way it is. All right, everybody. Great times, sure love ya. Thanks for being here.

Go to watchwhatcrappens.com for show dates and ticket links for our live show. And if you want these on videos and you want Trader's bonus episodes, go look at Ben. Just yawning and wiping his face. That took a lot out of me. I was like, oh, two dates on one, two dates. Cause it felt like the show should have ended.

It felt like the show should have ended after the tip meeting. They all went out and then it's like, oh wait, the show is still going. And we had not only one, we had two dates. I mean, I enjoyed the episode, but just recapping it. I was like, this is still going. This is not only one we had two dates I mean I enjoyed the episode but just recapping it I was like this is still going this is crazy it was a long ride alright everybody well thanks for being here we'll talk to you next time bye

watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alice in King our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's Amanda. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Catherine DiBernardo has our harto. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offa. Dana C Dana Du. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickle-less. Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Hava Nagila Webber. We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson.

Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsey B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson it's Rachel Manderson.

She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes we canna, it's Sedana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 ccs of Betsy MD. She's gotta leg up, it's Beth Ani. We're takin' the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal.

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! Who, what, why, where and Gwen Pentland! It's our queen, it's Queen Laifah! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall! Know your worth with Jason Curran! We got our wish, it's Jen Plish! She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch!

She's a little bit loony. Junie, my favorite Murdo! Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Podchadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi.

Always killing it. It's Lola Alcolani. The incredible, edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in

the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.