Watch What Crappens - #2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Self-described diva mermaids descend upon the Below Deck Down Under ship, and one is possibly drowned after being loaded onto faulty equipment. The other piece of faulty equipment, Wihan, has a lot of mating prospects, though, so who cares really? To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Indeed.com slash wonder ECA. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, Indeed is all you need. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen. And ultimately you triumph in finding it again. Listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yule Braavs.

I'm Ronnie. Hi Ben, you handsome little man. How's everything going over there? Hi, everything's great over here. How's everything going with you? Guess what? We're on tour, everybody. We are going to be going out next week. Here's our dates for March.

Are you ready? We're going to Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, and Philadelphia. Followed by that, we'll be in Boston, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, and Philadelphia. Followed by that will be in Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Las Vegas. Please check out watchwhatcrappens.com for links to tickets and all that good stuff. You'll also find links to our Patreon, which is where you'll find these videos that we're making right now. We're doing video recaps every day so you can watch. Instead, if you feel it, over there.

Or if you'd prefer, you can listen to bonus episodes. We're doing Traders right now on Peacock, a Traders recap. So that's always a really good time. And I think that's all I have to say to start off. How about you? Anything on your end, Ben? I don't have anything pressing on my mind.

Just hello, everyone. How are you? anything on your end, Ben? I don't have anything pressing on my mind, just hello everyone, how are you? Hello. Hello. What are your below deck thoughts? You know, fun times happening on that boat, you know. I don't know if I have too many pressing thoughts. It's kind of fun that everyone's like in love with Beyond. And I like that he is revealing himself to be a douche bag.

Cause we were really, I think we were really out of sorts that he's like a Boston who seemed to be like more or less capable, seemed friendly, seemed mature, didn't really have any damage. And now, now we're seeing like, no, no, he's, he's like a standard Boston. He's, he's a, he's a douche. That's that. Those are my thoughts as well. I was really happy to see a douche emerge because I was like casting. I mean, just last week I was yelling at casting like, do your goddamn jobs. What are all these people with no traumas?

You've got no douche bags. I mean, what's happening over there? But guess what? Casting said, fuck you. And want the footage? Release the Kraken and here it comes. And so far he's kind of a sly douchebag, he's not as evil.

Like there's nothing really evil there, but he did almost kill somebody today. So, yeah. And then, you know, and it's nice because as he becomes douchier, it's gonna bring out more of Lara's bitchy side, which I need from my chief stew. I need my chief stew to be like not always sweet.

So we're getting to see that, which makes me happy. And then the other thing is Johnny, I'm really struggling with the fact that I really like Johnny. And he started off the season on such a terrible note that I was just like, I was prepared for him to be just like the villain. And every episode I like him more and more. And I actually think he's like really hot.

And I'm just like, this doesn't really make sense to me. He's supposed to be a dick. So I'm gonna wait for him to be a dick again, but I'm really disconcerted by all that. Yeah, I am too. I find him very charming, but you know what? Listen, a lot of people start out on a bad note and do really well. And any Alicia Keys fan will know that, you know?

I still love her. I don't care. She starts with like, keep on falling. I'm still in. I'm in for the ride. But yeah, I feel the same way about Johnny. I thought he was going to be such a jerk and he's just so charming. Like now I can see little Serena Johnny children running around smashing plates in the kitchen. Yeah, I kind of want Serena. I feel like, you know, he's very affectionate with Serena and I'm kind of like Serena, stop chasing after a veon. Go after your handsome Greek God who's giving you complimentary shoulder rubs in the galley. That is your man.

Yeah, but I can't tell if he likes her like that. You know, Johnny's very hard to read. Yeah, people are nice to chefs too. You know, they're gonna get fed. I feel that also he probably finds it hard to read. It's just a vibe to get. So let's start. We are below deck down under, season three, episode five.

This one is called Submergency, dun dun dun, which I was hoping for a submarine personally. I mean, some good old clear and present danger moments. We could use that in today's world where nothing's dangerous at all. Yeah, yeah. So Marina and Vion are on their date still and Zarina's really upset because she found out they're on a date and she was liking him.

And she's like, it's annoying because I thought Vion and I were vibing and I feel like I misread the situation again. And you know, we see flashbacks of her flirting with Culver all of last season. And she goes, this sort of thing keeps on happening to me and I don't know why. I'm like, stop feeding the men.

Then you'll see their true colors. Well, I like that she, you know, she's like, I'm going to fight against this heartbreak by teasing my hair. So she gets her hair really high somehow. And then that's like her revenge. She's like, I'm going to get in a black 90 and make my hair really big. And everybody's going to know what the fuck

they're dealing with today. I was like, all right, I'm into it. I'm from Texas, so I'm into a good passive aggressive hair tease. Yeah. So anyway, Vianna and Marina come back to the boat and What's Her Face is saying that I like him and Laura's like, oh, Bree's talking. I'm sorry. Bree is talking about, um, there were dual, there were dual dates that happened last episode. So it's like a lot to keep track of. But Bree went on a date with what's his face. Skinny Chris Knoth. Why can't I remember anyone's name? Harry, Harry, this is what today is

going to be like today. It's, you know, there's some days you just can't remember anyone's names. That's today. I'm just going to be like, um, Eduardo came back with Felicia, these people on the boat. Well, it's also below deck. So different cast start clashing in my mind, you know? But yeah, Bri's like, I like fancy him. We had ice cream. My family likes ice cream. And so Laura's like, dude, did you kiss him again? She's like, of course, I really like him. I think he's just such a gentleman. So she's very excited, but guess what? Marina asked Viyon out to date at the pool bar.

Dun dun dun. So then we cut to them coming in and Serena's just sitting there. She's just heard this news with everybody else and she's not happy. So it was pre-tease. And Marina is like, oh, are you guys having a pajama party? And they're asking her about her date.

And she's like, oh, it was so nice. He's such a nice guy, like so interesting. Which I don't know that I'd give that to Viyon. I mean, hot. Hot, oily, but interesting. What's he done that's interesting? Yeah, I actually think that's one of his weak parts. Like that's a trouble area for him is being interesting.

So Lara's like, so you like bribing, like me with my dogs? And she's like, yeah, super, I like him a lot. And Zarina's like, oh really? Hmm. And she's like, hey Zarina, you're trying a lot. And Serena's like, oh, really? Hmm. And she's like, what? Hey, Serena, you're trying a new hairstyle of old Haggard bitch? It really works well on you.

Yeah, this is Serena's crazy hair. And Serena's like, I don't even know who I am right now. Well, I guess now that I'm looking at these notes, so she had this hairstyle before she found out all this and got upset. Or did she find, oh, no, she found out. Yeah, she kind of did it. No, she found out.

She found out. She went to the bathroom and it. I don't know. She found out. No, she went to the bathroom and was like, that fucking backstabbing bitch. Yeah. So then she went to the bathroom and then did her hair crazy. So it's like when Sandy, I'm sorry to bring it to a grease reference, you guys. I know that's really old school, but it's like, wow, I'm going to become like bitchy Sandy now. And she's like, I've got leather pants and big hair. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah, and that's what she was doing.

I think she was trying to go for like a carefree, like what if I don't care kind of look. And then it just looked crazy. And Marina's like, that looks crazy. So, so Marina goes, I like it, it fits you. It's like, damn, this girl's coming in with her knives out. Marina was like all sweet and nice for the first few episodes of the season. But now that she likes a guy, she is like,

we're seeing another side of her now, which is fun. Um, so, uh, they all go to sleep and Marina's like, well, it was amazing. I got, you know, amazing. I got kisses from the forehead, like what the fuck. And V, like, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,

I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, is what boring people say about each other, I guess, to just justify just say, you're hot, I want to fuck you. And you're hot, I want to fuck you. You don't have to come up with reasons for the rest of us. Neither one of us believe your she's interesting or he's interesting claims. Nobody believes it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So now the crew, now it's the next day and Harry's talking to Vian in the bedroom asking

how everything was the night before and Vian's like, yeah, we kissed. She's very full, it's sexy. But you know what, bro? I was thinking about it. I'm into Adair. I'm like, oh God, really, Adair? He's really into similar hair coloring, I'm telling you. There's something about him and hair coloring attraction, like he just really likes it.

So Vian's like, oh, she's just so beautiful. And Harry says, well, I mean, she's just very much like, go with the flow, isn't she? I mean, I don't really think she's even reading into any of this. Does she even know where she is? The other day I saw her spreading mud on the ground. She's from a mud boat. She's so hot. You know, when you're looking for love, you've got to be open to explore, you've got to be open to mud. And funny enough, after kissing Zarina and Marina, it's giving me some clarity into who I like and where I want to invest my time. So Adair? I'm available. Let's see.

So now he's- I'm into somebody whose name doesn't easily rhyme with somebody else's name. If her name was Ballerina, we'd have a problem. But it's Adair. It's like, I don't even know what that name means. So Harry's now asking Marina, because you know Harry's sloppy, so he goes right to Marina. And he's like, have a nice night, I haven't asked you. And she's like, really nice, very interesting. And he's like, you were there for ages.

I was asleep when he came in. And now everybody's good morning each other. And Harry is still so excited, not to just find somebody that he liked, but specifically, I've never dated a model, specifically a runway model. That's crazy. The closest I got was to a hand model. That was pretty exciting, except she just kept giving me signals, you know, I was like,

speak. And she would just stop. Quiet. So I've never dated a model, but the closest I did get is I once dated a girl who worked at Jamba Juice, who once gave me a Modelo. So that was like really close to it. And I'll just be like, right now, I feel like I'm basically dating a magazine cover of Vogue. It's so exciting for me.

Um, he's got to chill out on this because I get it. It's exciting. She was a model. Um, but there's like the fourth episode in a row that he's watching for me. He's gotta chill out on this because I get it. It's exciting. She's a model. But there's like the fourth episode in a row that he's been talking about it. And like at a certain point it's like, it's gonna be kind of a turn off for her, I'm just gonna say.

Yeah, and I feel like model, like it's something to be like, oh, I've dated a model, you know, which I think is what he's going for here. But it's different once you like settle down with a model because you know, there's a shelf life on modeling. Okay, we're not all Cindy Crawford. Okay. And at some point that there's a shelf life and at some point you have to be like, so any skills, any skills of note, any personality, do you type, you know, we talked about conversation skills. Um, so he's basically saying he's like, I'm the last season, like, I went in too fast and I really embarrassed myself.

Unlike this season where I'm definitely not embarrassing myself. And I definitely like pretty a lot. So this charter season, I'm going to take it slow and I'm going to play it cool. And I'm going to hold my cards close to my chest, slow and steady wins the race. He's English though, right? Harry? Yeah. I thought he was Australian. to play it cool and I'm going to hold my cards close to my chest slow and steady wins the race. He's English though, right? Harry? Yeah. I thought he was Australian.

Oh yeah, he's Australian. Yeah, because they say, are you going to take her to Australia? And he says, maybe. I don't know. I thought for a second. It's still could have just been a general question. Are you as an English person going to go to Australia and will you bring Bree? We've had nothing to do with his background.

So his clothes are shrinking. He's complaining to Lara that his clothes are shrinking or he's getting taller. And he's like, I'm not getting taller, I reckon. So now they're cleaning and prepping for the charter and stuff and Vian has decided that he's in love with the dare now. So he's like, he, he, he, is everything good here?

And she's like, yeah, this hot damn kiss my rusty dusty. She's so hot. So interesting. So juicy. Oh, so Zarina is talking to Laura and asking how she slept, you know, and Zarina is like, I just don't really want to be in that energy in the crew area. So I thought about it's time to go to bed. I don't want to be around short, muscley men who want to stick their dicks into other people who rhyme with my name. So Lara's like, yes, I was a bit shocked, shocked and also instantly bored. And Zarina's like, yes, I think shocked is a good word. I mean, did she ask him out? Yes, she did. And she's like, well, I mean, you know,

I don't think it's his fault at all, is it? I mean, I feel like it's girl code, you know? It's just girl code, so fucking far out the window. Okay, you don't get to just claim somebody, and making out and a truth or dare is not real making out. You know what I mean? Like you can't claim somebody after a truth or dare make out. That could have been to anybody, you know?

And so Lara lets us know some Serena history, some Serena lore. She's like, yeah, to me, Serena is just trying to find a gentle, desperate, completely desperate. You know, on the last boat that we worked at, she liked a chunky person. And so, she just left a trail of candy from his cabin into her cabin, and the poor man didn't even know what hit him until mid-binge. And can you imagine having sex with somebody slobbering peanut M&Ms all over your face? The poor man didn't see what was coming. It was like Hansel and Gretel, you know, like, come to bed, Hansel and Gretel, which is funny, because we actually had a very delicious meal that night, so we should really check that

oven. Unfortunately, this version, they cook Hansel and Gretel and then they're sent back for being too rare. So, you know, it's just Serena's lot in life. Unfortunately, when she cooked Hansel and Gretel, her sous chef said that this could have been a more elevated meal. So it was really awkward. So she's like, she's hungry. So be careful any man that Serena likes, because you will be stocked basically. So now it's time for a preference sheet meeting. Here we are, charter three is a boat owner herself, Asia's experience, expecting exquisite dining experiences because get this, she's a mermaid. get this, she's a mermaid. And Guy is a luxury travel consultant who advises the new crew who should be ready for, you know, she will be on top of all sorts of things. And these are going to be

a bunch of divas and they're going to have luxury service. They want luxury service. And so Vian's like, yeah, we can give that to her. And so Aisha wants to bring her guests to the beach for a morning of splashing around the ocean while wearing mermaid tails, which, I mean, listen, if I'm going to spend thousands of dollars to fly to the Seychelles in the middle of what I assume is the off season because it's so humid as fuck, I'm going to splash around in a mermaid tail because why not? It sounds like a very fun thing to do, I guess. Listen, there are red flags all over these people, okay? The first is, we're divas, which sounds like you're assholes.

It sounds like you're just saying, we're gonna be a bunch of assholes, which it doesn't seem that they are, you know, because we've seen this episode. So it doesn't seem that they are. But at this point, I'm like, uh-oh, divas. And then the other thing is mermaids. So it's like you're gonna be demanding shit at this point, I'm like, uh-oh, divas. And then the other thing is mermaids. So it's like, you're going to be demanding shit while

also complaining about the patriarchy. I know about the mermaid movement and trust me, I'm probably going to join it at some point. But as someone in service, I was like, oh no, this is going to be trouble. You know, you didn't watch the Oscars, but speaking of mermaids, they brought out Darrell Hanna to present an award. Isn't that nice? They're like, to somebody who will never, ever, ever, ever get an Oscar, let's please welcome the Star Splash, Daryl Hannah.

Someone who did this once in the early 80s. She was like, hi, I'm a diva and I like cooked way goo. Could you imagine if Daryl Hannah was on this charter with these women? They're like, please welcome Aisha, Guy Furnett and Daryl Hannah. Daryl Hannah's like, guys, it has been so nice being friends with you for 25 years.

I mean, ever since you pulled me out of Tom Hanks' trunk. It's just been so wonderful. I mean, I am so sick of men with big noses hitting on me. So that was a Roxanne reference. Roxanne, Roxanne. Oh yeah. All right, everyone, I'll get right back to it. So.

I don't have a Roxanne comment, but I have a Roxanne giggle. I just, I remember seeing that movie in the theaters. So Lara, so she's like, well, they're going to be celebrating 25 years of the first time that they saw splash and like, Oh, that's great. And so they'd like a several tiered silver cake for Darryl Hannah to jump out of. And I'm still looking for a sous chef. So we'll see how well Darryl Hannah can eat up fish sticks. All right, let's get through this charter. Darryl Hannah doesn't realize that she's starting out as a guest, but she's ending as a sous chef. So it's like, I just can't, you know, every time a live lobster comes in, she just eats

it. You know? So, Laura said... Well, it doesn't even know how to use a fork. Just crunching right through it. Which is a real ghastly insight into the world of Mermaids. So I feel like we never really, really, we never really unpacked that scene.

Like this is to imply that do mermaids just go around just eating lobsters through the shell? They just, these sweet, beautiful mermaids are actually just vicious creatures. Yeah, I liked that they showed Darryl Hammett as like a mermaid who was like wild, you know, just a wild beast that had to be tamed by Tom Hanks. Like an uncouth monster of a mermaid.

Yeah, because remember in the little mermaid, I think all she had to do was learn to walk or something. Yeah, but she had her own issues. She was brushing her hair with a fork. So these, you know, these mermaids really got to get it together. Yeah. Also, to be a mermaid, you should probably swim.

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or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen. and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of reclaimlaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app

or on Apple podcasts. Can I say something? Yeah. Can I tell you about the very first thing I saw this morning when I woke up? I feel like it's appropriate to this in some weird way. Merman. I woke up, I watched Merman the porn and it was fabulous. Now the New York Times, it's so funny

because the New York Times, I always go to the New York Times first thing in the morning. I don't know why, because then it fills me with dread. So there's all awful headlines on to the left, but they always have some weird curious thing on the right. And today the headline was, this is what it looks like to a crab when a cuttlefish is about to eat it.

And they had this cuttlefish, it was a video, and there was a cuttlefish and it was approaching the crab. You're like in the crab's POV, and the cuttlefish comes forward and has this fins out and it's like an alien coming up. And you're just watching and the cuttlefish gets closer and closer very slowly and then just sticks out its tongue. And I was like, that's where Darrell Hannah learned it from the cuttlefish. I think that that's so offensive to the cuttlefish. You know, who wants people taking pictures of what it looks like when you're about to eat them? This would be mine.

Ronnie, coming in to take a bite of a Kit Kat. It's like, ah. You should, if you go to the New York Times, if you go to the New York Times, it's still up there, just so you know. I probably can't even look at it because I don't have a subscription to that because I'm a stupid person and I don't just feel smart. Okay. People with your fucking wordle.

Oh no, I can pull it up. It's letting me pull it up. What a crap sees before it gets eaten by a cuttlefish. Oh my God. And it's like a 3D rendering. Who did they even assign to this? Matteo Santin. Matteo Santin has some time on his hands.

Some time. Yeah, this cuttlefish, it's so benign looking and so gentle. And then all of a sudden, here comes his tongue. Boom, pork wrapped in it. And that's it. You just see a flash of the tongue and then that's it, right?

Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can share this, because. This is crazy. It's a crazy thing, right? It's a very crazy thing. Oh, no, I tried to click on it and it says, creative, creative, can account or long and, no. I have it, but my Chrome isn't letting me share my screen, which is really sad.

Oh gosh, you're right. This news is fucking depressing. Listen, are the White Lotus brothers gonna fuck or not? That's all I need to know from you. I know, let's get that over with. Literally all I wanna know. Who wins the traders and are the brothers on White Lotus gonna fuck?

That's the news, period. I don't want, if you do that for me, I will subscribe to your ass and not until then. Okay, so everybody is getting ready for this charter and Lara is going to keep Brie on service and put Marina in housekeeping again, second time in a row. And she's like, it's because you smashed it in housekeeping last time. Note to anybody coming on this show, don't smash it in housekeeping. Okay. Or you're going to keep getting there. Okay Okay, do a bad bad job in housekeeping and then do a service like come on guys, this show's been on 19 years, you haven't figured it

out. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. So she is going to be she's gonna be there on service, etc. And then Vian is like, I think as a dick team, we're going to be extremely busy. So safety is our first priority and careful for your finger. We don't want to be extremely busy, so safety is our first priority, and careful for your finger, we don't want to get that wet, which is a reminder to everyone. Harry was not safe.

Sorry, Harry, sorry to call you out on that. He's like, well, I'll do as much as I can. It's on the mind. I think this is one of those times it's good to stress what he just said, which is safety is our first priority, the coming from Vihon. Okay, let's just remember that he said that

at this point in the episode, because it all goes out the window soon. So now cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and Lara's gossiping with Bri about Serena being upset because, you know, Vihon told Harry that he was like really excited that she asked him out, and now Serena's all heard. And so she's

like, well, you want to hear it from Harry? Harry will tell us. Let's get Harry. So they make Harry come into gossip with them, who of course, messy ass Harry loves this, you know? Of course. He's like, so they're like, what's going on? And Harry's like, well, he likes that like Marina made the move, but he can't make up his mind. And Laura's like, well, he likes, he likes that like Marina made the move, but he can't make up his mind. And Laura's like, between who? Serena? He's like, no. And then they're like, a dare? He's like, I think so. They're like, what? The girl who kicks herself in mud on our off day is disgusting.

A mud racker? Seriously? And he's like, yeah, you know, he doesn't like Serena anyway. And Laura's like, Oh God, I think they need to have a conversation. Don, don, don. So Harry then is goes up to Vian and he's like, Serena's a bit upset. So he is, he is so messy. And Vian's like, well, why? He's like, because she was into you and now you've gone off with Marina. He's like, well, I haven't, he's like, I haven't gone off with Marina.

She asked me on a date and he's like, well, I think that's a ring. I think you're caught. You've gone off with Marina. And he's like, he's like, that's a lot of rhyming for me to keep up with, but she hasn't said it. Why I had to get out of there. All right. It's a ring. Now, can't. So he's like, and on the flip side, I'm onto someone else anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. And he like gives that like handsome oily wink smile thing. And so then Bree's like, and Bree knows Harry well enough to know already. She's like, Harry fixing it seems like it might make it worse. Well, you know, we've got an asterisk on board here visually. Oh, by the way, it's an asterisk here. can see an asterisk it's gonna be on screen okay so Vion is here he likes Adair but Adair's here who likes Noan and then Serena's here who likes Vion and Marina's here

who likes Vion and basically it's not like a love triangle it's like a love a love spindle like a love hubcap and nothing's lining up and nothing's working I'm just worried it's like a kettle that's boiling at some point it's going to explode because guess what? I was raised with very unsafe kettles that when they reach a boiling point, they don't just keep boiling. They actually explode your house. It's very dangerous. I want everyone to take cover when this kettle explodes. I actually wish that was Harry's backstory. It would give him something. You know, I need more from Harry. They're just like, I'm nice, I love my parents. You know, I need like, everywhere I go,

cannons explode. It's like his stupid- I know, I know, like, watch out. This vessel that's made for boiling may boil too much and explode. What was the guy whose car kept starting on fire? What was it? What was the guy?

I remember a car fire. Did he start cars on fire? Was that? Yeah, there was a guy? I remember a car fire. Did he start cars on fire? Was that? Yeah, there was a guy whose car like caught on fire. And then there was another guy who was like, my mom was an alcoholic. So at five years old, I had to drive us all to school. Yeah, yeah, that guy, that was Adam, I think.

Okay, so anyway, Rihann, his way of dealing with this is like, kind of flirting with Serena. So he's like, so let me know if you need a hand. And she's like, well, it's like you feel guilty, huh? I mean, is there a reason you should feel guilty? It's like you haven't asked out the stunning chef yet. Mm, mm, mm.

Could you not rub your armpits while you talk? While you flirt with me, please. She's like super tall. And he's like, well, maybe the chef could have asked me to go out. She was like, well, I'll just be waiting here for my apology and my invite. So this is the way Vihon operates. He does the passive thing where he doesn't have to get clocked for being a fuckboy because he's not going to be the one who's actively, you know, engaging with anyone.

He's going to wait for them to engage with him. And then he could be like, no, you know what, they asked me, so I just went along with it, you know? Yeah, I'm not fully anti-Vion yet because I don't really think he's done that much wrong. I mean, he made out with Serena in a hot tub. Of course he knows he likes her, but everybody likes him. He knows that she likes him, but everybody kind of likes him. So I think at this point,

it's okay to kind of play the field, don't you? Yeah, I mean, I think that like he's definitely, he's only in like sort of light fuck boy status, but I'm just saying like these are the things that I'm keeping out for. I'm like building my case ahead of time. Yeah, I mean, I think that like he's definitely, he's only in like sort of light fuck boy status, but I'm just saying like, these are the things that I'm keeping out for. I'm like building my case ahead of time. Yeah, yeah, that's smart.

I know we're gonna need it at some point. We're gonna need to litigate this. This is clearly going so badly so quickly that I guess I'm just enjoying the last parts of the chapter where, before he becomes a full on villain. You know? Yeah, exactly. Because this is both the episode where his fuckboy nature really came to the fore, but also his irresponsible bossing nature

came to the fore as well. Yeah, it was a double-lammy for sure. Yeah, laziness surfaced. Yeah, it was, and being bossed around by the, you know, lady who he doesn't like. So it's all coming, kind of coming at the same time. So Jason is now texting the sous chef and they're going to be coming in three days. So he tells Serena and he's like, she's just here to support you. All right. And occasionally try on kimonos, but I'm gonna need you to be in the room for that

because I don't want it to be problematic, all right? It's just for my webby. Yes, and now is this where we actually get to see the CV of the incoming sous chef? Or is it later in the episode? I don't think we saw it. We did get to because, I mean right now I don't think we saw it.

Oh, not right now, okay. I'll zip it, I'll keep that spoiler for later in the episode. Also, sometimes I don't get the CVs that they put up on the screen because I just, I'm a very lazy watcher and that feels like reading, you know? Oh, every time there's like any piece of information about someone I always pause, I'm like,

let me find out about this person. Well, I will just say, I don't remember if it comes up later or not, but the CV, it looks like it's Alicia from below deck sailing yacht, who was just referenced in the last season. Oh, but she's a chef chef. I know, but I think she's gonna be sous chef. But she's nice though.

She's nice. She'll be like, I'm just here to help. I'm really honestly, I'm used to being a head chef, but like, you know, when Captain Jason calls me up, I was just so honored to be helpful. So I think she'll be like, she was always nice. Well, that's fishy though. Do you think they're bringing her on because they're going to fire Serena because Serena keeps messing up? I think Serena is, I don't think, I don't think they're going to fire Serena because Serena, I think they're setting her up to be like a fixture.

So I think she's just, Zarina is going to be chaotic and Alicia will be grounding, but they'll be like, they'll have a sisterly thing and they will work well together. I think that's the plan. Well, I think it sounds fishy, but I don't know anything. Actually, I actually misread the CV.

I think it actually said, um, Daryl Hannah. Wow. So that actually worked out very well. Daryl Hannah ate Alicia on the way there. So, um, let's see. So now, Laura, okay. So the guests arrive. Okay.

And we see their bio. They're from Chicago and Asia is a restaurant owner and Gail is a travel consultant and they've been friends for over 25 years so now they get the tour and Lara's like Vion if the deck team is available, can they help with the luggage and he's like we're changing into our blues We can help in 20. No, sir. Get your ass down there 20 minutes to change into your blues to carry luggage That's your damn job. You better get over there Yeah, exactly. So then, meanwhile, because he's so busy changing

into his blues, beyond then, he's talking to Harry. And he's like, how do I tell Edith I like her? I'm like, you don't, because she works on directly under you. So I would just not do that. And Harry's like, oh, I don't think the chart is the time. But since you've already told me, I'll probably go tell her at our next crew dinner. So, you know, enjoy that. He's like, but I need to plan these things. Should I wait for her

to ask me to an ice cream shop? So then Serena's like, well, today's lunch, I'm going to make it light because having a charter guests on who are from the restaurant side means they're going to be super picky. So I'm going to make salad and salad and then possibly a soup and then a soup and a salad possibly. So those are my plans. But the sort of soup that requires a fork. So she's like, I feel like the criticism is going to be really high for this charter, meaning that I don't have much room for mistakes. So meanwhile, beyond selling Johnny to get things ready for the beach and everything.

And, you know, he's checking in with Marina about, he's like asking Marina what she's eating. And she's saying that she's eating potatoes and ribs. And he's like, I don't know, they're just checking in about the guests. It's actually like, that's my dessert. She's like, Oh, interesting, interesting. So they're talking about unpacking the guests and he's like, I haven't even unpacked my clothes yet. And she's like, Oh, I'll unpack for you. Depends on if you pay me in several cases, I'll think about it. Several kisses. He's like, Oh, not one, but seven. Laying it on so thick, you know, I'm just so embarrassed for everybody on this show right now.

It's a lot of courage. Yeah. So Zarina, meanwhile, is telling the guests what she's planning to make salads and soups and soups and salads. And everyone's like, yeah. And they're like, by the way, you're dealing with a few restaurateurs here. We're foodies. So be careful, Zarina. And she's like, yes, I sold the preference sheet.

I know you guys know your food. I know you guys know your food. I know you guys know your food. I know you guys know your food. Flash forward to wagyu steak drama. Yeah. And I always feel bad because people who call themselves foodies are generally not foodies. And a restaurateur could mean anything. Like, do you own a chain of, do you own a chain of like

Chipotle's, you know? Not to say that that's not culinarily at the top of its game, but still. There are a lot of restaurant tours That definitely don't know anything about food because I've been in those restaurants And I won't go back. Yeah, so Okay, so there's a there there they're gonna sort of set up They're gonna anchor set up anchor and everything and there's a buoy in the water. And Johnny says it's a hundred meters away. And Adair is like, a hundred meters?

I don't use meters, but that ain't no dang a hundred meters off the stem. That's what I call about 60 mud piles away from the boat. Okay. That's if not a football field's worth of distance. I mean, I ran track. I know, God, meters. Okay. I get that you don't that you don't do things in meters. I get that.

You know, I'm an American, but you're working on a boat internationally. You should probably, this is your job. You need to know how to do this. Like meters, that's stupid. Hey, how many feet are they? And I don't mean real feet, I mean the size of my foot. I'm about a seven.

How many size sevens do you think those are? away. 100 meters? I didn't see nothing fall from outer space. No not meteors. Oh never mind. Thank God because those are scary. So he's like I know a hundred diameters and she's like okay is that supposed to be cute?

So they drop the anchor lunch is served and then they have to be cute? Motherfucker. So they drop the anchor, lunch is served, and then they have to go, and they love the lunch, by the way, and then they have to go to the beach to do the mermaid thing, which is probably the best scene that's been on this season yet, is that lady trying to be a mermaid again.

Yeah, yeah. It made us realize how much artistry Darryl Hannah really possessed when she played that pivotal role. So, Lara is asking Vian to meet her in the salon for something and so Lara's like, by the way, after services, can we make sure there's someone to wipe down

and vacuum the floor? Because basically in the middle of this, what we didn't discuss is that the guests ate their lunch, they loved it, they got up to leave and you know, something got spilled. And so there was a mess on the teak and the table was messy. So she had radioed Vihan to clean it up. And then 45 minutes later, she went back out there and it was still messy.

So now she's like, so Vihan, can we make sure there's always someone to wipe down and vacuum the floor? I mean, K2R, whatever they need to do, like put the cushions back, roll the towels, make sure it doesn't look like a pigsty out there. Could you please do that for me? Thank you so much." And he's like, okay. And she says, yeah, but maybe you have a checklist to just clarify though. I mean, you know, checklist, write it down. And he's like, okay, I'll make a checklist now. She goes, yeah, because this stuff needs to get done.

All right, and if it's not done, I'm gonna put a trail of candy from your bed into Serena's and we'll see how you survive it. Yeah, you know, a checklist, could you like maybe do a checklist or, I don't know, develop some sort of basic instinct of what it means to be in the service industry? Thank you so much, That would be really helpful.

I mean, well, Serena needs help. So Jason's going to help her. She's like, I'm really fucking behind here. You know, it's the worst it's ever been. I'm so, so sorry. I mean, it's just, you know, like detergent, you know, just give it to me. So then it's mermaid time. So they're trying to get mermaid tails on these guests, which this whole scene I was dying laughing. This lady finally gets the mermaid tail on and then she just starts flopping around the water.

There's makeup all over her face. Yeah. They're like, take a glamorous picture. And then she's just like all askew and looking terrible. And then they put inspiration and it's like some Daryl Hannah level mermaid. And then it just cuts to her. Oh my God. I didn't understand what this woman was trying to achieve.

Was it supposed to be that she was gonna have like a mermaid? Was she just gonna take photos as a mermaid? Like I didn't get what she was hoping for, but like she was just getting tossed around by the ocean. It's like the huge thing I keep telling you, mermaiding. No, I know mermaiding is. I didn't know what this lady,

I didn't feel like she was part of the mermaid subculture. I felt like she just was like, I wanna bring a mermaid tail to the Seychelles, and then we'll take a photo as mermaids, and it's gonna be fabulous. But it was just like the extent of it. Not good. Yeah. Not good. Imagine this. You help your little brother land a great job abroad. But when he arrives, the job doesn't exist. Instead, he's trapped in a heavily guarded compound,

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The only way out is to scam their way out. Follow Scam Factory on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Scam Factory on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Scam Factory early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Back on the boat, Vion's like, okay, Harry, Harry, Harry, talk me through operations when we have to come up at lunch and clean up because I need to make a list. And he's like, did Jason up at lunch and clean up because I need to make a list." And he's like, uh, did Jason say it wasn't clean up here?

And he's like, no, Laura did. So he's like, uh, okay, well, shouldn't this be his job to know how to do this? He's like, you wipe the way to clean the table is you wipe the table and the way to clean the floor behind below it, you vacuum. And then if there's messy towels, you fold them. He's like, but what's about putting out cushions? How do you do that? You put out the cushions?

Okay, great, great. All right, I'm really learning some things here. Yeah, so then Johnny is back doing the photo shoot now. He's taken over camera duties. And so it's really funny. And then we cut back to Vian and he's like, Oh, by the way, I'm really struggling to look a dare in the eyes even. And Harry's like, why? Why would you look her in the eye? None of us do that. It's awkward. It's extremely awkward. Has she told you the thing

about meters yet? She did say that. I thought that was charming. I mean, have you seen how gorgeous she is? So then downstairs, Laura's talking to Zarina about what the plan is for dinner. And so Zarina is going to make a truffle risotto, do like a surf and turf and then like a silver cake and ice cream. So the guests come back on board and Laura, there's like this nice moment where like Laura's hanging out with the guest, like chatting with them and Bree's there too. And she's like, so I want to hear, how did you all meet? And they're all saying how they were sorority sisters, but they've also known each other since they were children. But like actually a few of them have children. That's their only bond. And Laura's asking them about like, I'm sorry, some of them said that they were only children. And then Laura asked if any of them have had children and only one person has. So they're talking about like kids and relationships.

And it's like a nice moment. And one of the guests asked Brie if she has like a boy, well, asked Laura first if she has a boyfriend. And then they're sort of like, what about you Brie? And they're kind of like coy. And they kind of deduced that it's Harry who Brie is into. Well, because they say, do you have a boyfriend? Harry's like, did I get the word boyfriend?

He's just like all of a sudden kind of creeping around. And so they ask him how old he is, and he's like, how old do you reckon? They're like, reckon. Hehehehehe. And they guess it's 25, and he's from Australia. So one of them is like, so Brie, have you ever been to Australia?

She goes, no. And they're like, so Harry, are you going to invite Brie to Australia? And he is like, so, Brie, have you ever been to Australia? She goes, no. And they're like, so Harry, are you gonna invite Brie to Australia? And he's like, maybe. And Brie's like, maybe? Maybe? Are you fucking serious right now? My first long-term boyfriend was very self-centered and not the best communicator.

And I just never thought Harry would be the kind of person to play mind games, but he is. Who else would say maybe? I know. It starts unraveling. Like I thought that he was just being coy and she is really, she's like really upset by this. So they show her walking around cleaning after this

and she just walks into the bathroom and goes, maybe? And she goes back to her bed and folds a seat. It's like, maybe? She's very struggling. So, so then Jason's checking in with Vian, see how everything's going, and Vian's like, yeah, you know, I've got a few things I want to tweak, but I want to set up lists so they can actually tick it off, as I think they're missing certain things.

Implying that, thatlying that he's actually, he's trying to make it seem like he's on top of shit when he was the one who did not take care of the messy table and floor. So now he's kind of being like, I'm gonna make some lists. This was totally my idea. I'm gonna make a list because my team, they're missing things.

I'm like, no, you missed that. That was your spill to clean up, sir. And he's hedging his bets too, because he's assuming that Lara is tattletaling on him, which she's not. So he's just like, just in case she comes to complain and says, I need to make lists, I'm gonna tell them that making lists is totally my idea.

Right? So then Lara's like, so Vion, can I get someone to help set the deck up? And he's like, so Vion, can I get someone to help set the deck up? And he's like, okay. She goes, well, I'll be up there. So whenever someone's free, just come up there. And so he's like, okay, no problem.

Okay, Adair, maybe we'll help, but you should take a break with Harry. She's like, okay. Isn't Adair, she's like a deck stew. Shouldn't she be the one to go up and help? Her role is to go back and forth. So Vian tells Lara this, but it's totally unhelpful because he's going to shower and stuff first.

So then- Well, yeah, Johnny's like, well, shouldn't I do the setup thing beforehand? And he's like, no, go take a shower. You know, go get into your blacks and find Lara. So Lara, we'll be with you in 15. No worries. And it's 734 and dinner's at eight. So she just rolls her eyes.

Yeah, because it's totally, totally unhelpful. So tonight's theme is silver and pearls to celebrate the guests having 25 years of sorority sister ship amongst them or behind them. So she says, Laura says, when you know someone that long, they become your family. And I want to make this over the top and glam as possible. I need to make sure everything is perfect for them. So here's a streamer. So then Adair. This is my art. Someone get that streamer taped, please.

It's a wall of streamers, except where we've run out, then we'll just leave giant gaps. It's art. Just go with it, all right? You know, they are celebrating a special anniversary, 25 years of being sorority sisters. And this is an important moment. That's why I went to the local Hallmark store of the Seychelles and got this big two and

this big five and it's just going to dangle over there. Wag you beast tonight. So Adair sees her and she's like, Oh, John is changing to come up and help you. Okay. He's about a hundred meters away, whatever the fuck that means. And it's like, well, we're done now, but thanks, okay? And so she radios Johnny that they're set up. So then Serena in the kitchen, in the galley is like,

you know, you really didn't need that, but you were asking for it. Johnny goes, sorry. And she's like, I'm talking to the sauce. Yeah, he's like, you're mental completely. In the best possible way, which is funny because earlier in the episode, when Zarina was going through it about Vian, she was mashing something in a bowl very violently.

She was like, getting all her anger out. So she's like, what's me, mental? So she goes, do you think it's going to stop someone from wanting to marry me because I'm so weird? He's like, no, you need to find somebody that is going to marry you for being yourself. If not, just get 10 dogs like Laura. So Bree's like, Vion has a crush on the dare, but I think he's like just a flirt, you know, and maybe he likes attention. I don't know. And you know, he's wanted and he wants to be wanted in 10 different directions and he is. So now it's dinner time and like, Oh my God, streamers. Wow. This really does remind me of setting up in sorority

with $5 budgets. This is something that takes us all the way back. So, um, Zarina is talking about how, um, she made this risotto and everything and the surf and turf. It's a perfect balance of flavor and texture in your mouth. I'm really excited about it actually. But I see the rare, like the steaks are cooked pretty rare. And I was like, these steaks are going back. I'm telling you this right now,

these ladies are gonna want their steak more well done. I just get that vibe. And I don't eat, you know, I eat fish, but I don't eat meat. So I was, I had to like research it. I had to like look it up, you know? I was like, is this how they're supposed to be served? Because when I saw those, I was like, oh, no, those are practically living. You can't serve those. Those aren't just rare. Those are like not cooked at all. So I was confused. I noticed she got the sear on them because Jason complained last time that there was no sear. So she got the sear on and then it looked like she was

putting them into the oven, but they came out purple. They shouldn't be purple. And I looked it up and yeah, it is served a lot more raw looking than regular beef is, but not that much. I mean, yikes. Yeah. I've only had Wagyu twice. I think like real, like the nice, like does, I mean, there's different things, like people like, Oh, here's a Kobe beef slider or whatever, but like the really, really nice, is it called like a nine or something like that. And it is served incredibly, incredibly rare. Um, and it's like melt in your mouth, delicious. But like when I had it, it was like a, in a Japanese restaurant. So it was

like this little sort of sliver, this beautiful sliver. And so it's like super rare, but it almost feels like appropriate because it's like it's on the heels of sushi and lovely things. You're like, yes, I will have this red piece of meat with a chart. But I think like getting a big old filet that's like sear on the outside and then just see how red it is in the middle. That could be really, really upsetting to people.

So I get it, I get it. Yeah, I mean, I'm kinda ignorant on the wagyu front, but I was like, oh no, don't serve that, you know? And then I felt a little bit better once I Googled it. But also when I Googled it, it's usually thin served sliced, right? Or is that? Yeah, exactly. It's that? Yeah, exactly.

It's like how I, exactly. It's like how I, I don't know how, actually, I'm not gonna act like I know how it's normally served, but like, I definitely was like, that's very rare. And this probably won't land well. Yeah. So, I'm staring at pictures online of beef. I'm staring at it.

I'm like, you know what? It is cooked, it is often served very rare. I'm looking at the pictures now, it's served very rare, but hers were really, really rare. Although there was this one picture where it's pretty purple-ish. It looks delicious. I'll have it in any temperature.

But I can't tell if that's the way these are supposed to be served to eat. I mean, a lot of it is just raw. It's like pre-cooked. It's like not before it's cooked. That's what I mean. I don't mean pre-cooked. I mean, pre-cooking.

I don't know. I can't tell. So the jury's out on this one. I have no idea. But my first thought was too rare. So- I just wanna know what does it look like when you're a piece of wagyu

and a cuttlefish is about to eat you? So then let's see. So now the guys have been sent down to help with cabins. This is another thing I'll say. The deckhands are being asked to do a lot, which, you know, not to defend Vihan here, but she does ask a lot of the deck crew. Now granted, they don't really do it. Like as we just saw with the preparation for dinner.

But do we usually see the deckhands help this much with interior? I think that they needed to help out. Maybe not. I don't know. I think it's standard amount. There's apparently a huge amount of sand. So they just needed someone to like basically scoop up the sand while this while the students did other stuff. Also, the deckhands are presenting shirtless. They're they're serving are presenting shirtless. They're serving the food shirtless for some reason.

I mean, it's nice. I mean, we like it. They have nice bodies, but I'm like, why are they shirtless for this sorority anniversary occasion? It was just sort of one of those funny things where I'm like, oh, is this just what they're gonna, if there's ever like a group of all women,

they're just gonna make the guys take off all their shirts every time? Yeah, I'm down. So the guys are supposed to be cleaning the dirt take off all their shirts every time. Yeah, I mean, I'm down. So the guys are supposed to be cleaning the dirt, but Vion's feet hurt. So he's like, oh my God, my feet are so sore. So he sits down in the main salon and he's like, come on, guys, take a load off. So they're all just kind of sitting on the couches while he rubs his sandy feet. And Laura sees them and she's like, do you guys want to chill downstairs and not in the guest area?

And he's like, ooh. And we have like, the update is Laura has climbed 793 stairs so far. So Laura then goes and does the time monitor tradition of blow deck, which is go and bitch about the deck hands to her second in command. So she's like, these boys, and Bree's like, yeah. It's like, all they do with it's laying on sofas

in the main salon. She's like, no way, all of them? Did Harry say he would invite them to Australia? She's like, yes, and he said it with conviction. And this is my pride and joy, you know, having clean sofas, and they're just sitting on the clean sofas. And Bree's like, maybe.

I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry, I'm still in my own head. So Vian's like, maybe. I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry, I'm still in my own head. So Vian's like, okay, well, you know, the problem is when I go down there and sit down there, then I need to wash up or like I need to go clean cabins or something like that. So I don't want to sit down there. Yeah, it's not doing your fucking job, brah.

Yeah, or you can just say no. You just say no, I've got to do other things. You say, I cannot run up and down like this all night. My feet are sore, I'm tired. I've never had to do this, it's too much. I'm like, Laura's going up and down all night, so if she can do it, you can do it. So then she says-

Yeah, the real villain on this season, we've been waiting for like a true villain to emerge and it's been here the whole time. It's those fucking stairs, okay? Yeah. The biggest shit stirrer on any season, those stairs. Yeah. I'm, I would also say, um, the stairs have a co accomplice or just an accomplice with the humidity.

Cause everything about this show just feels humid. Like I feel humid when I watch this show. And so I think stairs and humidity. And what seems like there's, there's just like no air conditioning on this boat. Like I noticed, um, in the, in the crew rooms, one of the rooms someone has like a fan that they've just pulled out of a box. So like, is it not ventilated in there? I need to know all the details.

I don't know. I think even if there is AC, you probably just need air. It's just humid. It's very thick air. So she's mad because Vian is setting a bad example for his team, you know, and if he was really a team player, he should be offering to help in cabins and help run plates.

And you know, she's like, I mean, should I offer him a cocktail? So then the next course is served, which is surf and turf, which is this wagyu beef. So immediately a couple of the ladies are like, yeah, I'm going to need this more done. Like, this is crazy. Please send this back. So then it's three. And then I think it's all of them that end up getting sent back. Almost all of them. It's like a lot of them go back.

And by the way, and these guests are super nice. They're not like divas. They're not obnoxious. Despite the fact that they call themselves divas, they're not. They've actually been lovely this entire time. And in fact, going back to that scene when they were talking to Laura and Marie about like, you know, like Harry and stuff like that, they were so sweet and fun.

Like I just want, I was like, I wanna hang out with them. So they were like very kind. I know they warned us that they were gonna be holy terrors and they're like lovely after all. They're like, we're restaurateurs and we will not hold that against your cooking. We just want this cooked a little bit better. Like, you know, they're just so nice. So they, but they, you know, as our arena is like embarrassed and she's like, these

steaks are cooked, but I think these women just, I just don't think they want to see any blood at all. And they're restaurateurs and I would have thought they would have recognized the high end wagyu steak, how it's really meant to be eaten. And I should have just fucking charred the shit out of it for them. So, yeah. Luckily Jason's down there.

I mean, unluckily, right? Because all the plates are sent back. So that's not a great look, but luckily he does know Wagyu. So he's eating it and he's like, oh no, I mean, you couldn't have cooked that anymore. You know, she goes, yeah, because it's Wagyu. Thank you for getting me. Thank you.

goes, yeah, because it's like you. Thank you for getting me. Thank you. So then there's a cake that's going to be going up, uh, which by the way, props to Zarina for making a three tier cake or at least a very tall two tier cake, because I feel like the last few below decks, people have been really skimping on their cake work, especially Cloy's, who had to like buy a cake for that one occasion. So Zorina made like a big ass cake

and they put a 25 on top and Vian's like, oh, so one of them is 25? And I'm like, it's the 25th anniversary, you idiot. So they serve it, they love it, the guests love it. And now it's bedtime. And so we get a Brie and Harry getting to know themselves, getting to know each other a moment. So Brie's bedtime. And so we get a Bree and Harry getting to know themselves, getting to know each other moment. So Bree's like, Oh my God, they're not big soda drinkers. I mean, the last charter drank so many sodas. And it's like soda water. And she's no like coke. I love

diet coke. That's me opening up. So just like that. I know I love Dr. Pepper. You know, the first thing I do when I go to the US is get a physical exam from Dr. Pepper. And she's like, Oh yeah, you get a Dr. Pepper. She's like, yeah. And you know, I go to In-N-Out too. And she goes, do you have Shake Shack? He's like, no, you'll have to take me there. She goes, Oh God, Bree, this is the moment you've been waiting for. Say it Bree. Maybe. He's like, what? Maybe. You know, because you said earlier, maybe when they said,, what? Maybe. You know, because you said earlier, maybe when they said, are you going to take her to Australia? You said,

maybe. I mean, thanks a lot. Maybe. And he's like, is that what I said? She goes, maybe. Yeah. That's what he said. Maybe. Well, guess what? Maybe I'll bring you to New Jersey to taste our version of Diet Coke. Maybe I'll bring you to the bridge that says, Trenton gives and the world takes. Whatever that bridge was. And Harry's like, well, sorry. I mean, I didn't think I should tell Carter. Charlie, guess all our crew's secrets. It's dark, eh?

She's like, damn it. So now Vion goes to offer some help to Serena again, and she's going to bed. And then Marina's like, so Serena, I'm having a little bit of cake, is that okay? She goes, go ahead. She's like, rumors are that Vion used to strip. And then we see the flashback of Vion telling the boys

that he wasn't a stripper, but he did work at a place called Beef Cakes, which was a gay bar, which is like stripping, except you just stand there in your doc strap and kind of do a toe touch. That's exactly right. He didn't, he wasn't taking off clothes actively. He just was already just a go-go dancer, just standing there. So, Zarina's like,

but I think on next night out, I'll probably give it a good old go. And Marina's like, bitch, you have to fight me for that. It's like, oh, okay. So Zarina's like, bitch, you have to fight me for that. It's like, oh, okay. So Serena's like, but I don't have to fight for a man. Marina's passive aggression is so funny. She's like, do you mind if I eat some cake? It's like, damn, she's doing it. She sounds so villainous. And then Serena tells us, oh, honey, I don't have to fight for a man.

I have trails of candy. Fight it. And Marina just us, oh, honey, I don't have to fight for a man. I have trails of candy, fight it. And Marina just goes, oh, is this truffled? It's very strong. It's like, oh no, you didn't have to slam her truffle game. I know, I would never want to make out with someone who puts so much truffle in a dish, am I right, Vian? So Zarina's like, fuck off.

Meanwhile, there's a trail of 25th anniversary cakes in the hallway leading to her doorway now. So, now the next day, Serena sees Vihan and she's like, did you sleep well? And he's like, yeah, I feel good. It's weird because I slept on a sheet of Snickers. There were Snickers all over my mattress. She's like, feels great, doesn't it? Doesn't it feel good to be loved? Well, I was shattered last night, you know, so I might see a masseuse come to the boat later. And he's like, well, I'm a good masseuse. And she goes, well, I'd rather not get in a fight with a

certain Brazilian person who doesn't understand truffles. He's like, I didn't realize Darryl Hannah was Brazilian. No, not her, you idiot Marina. Oh, I see. She's put her foot down with me. Oh, really? Did you put your foot down also? She's like, no.

How do you feel about it all? He's like, well, to be very honest with you, I like the fact that women are fighting over you. No, no, no. I like the fact that neither of you are a dare because I still have a shot with her. Oh, come on, shut up. He says he likes that she asked him out for a drink

because, you know, he basically wants like a French bread pizza from Weight Watchers, just low effort, okay? He's like, I don't care. It's easier to just microwave this shit. I'm getting it. And so then we cut to, but he's like, but it's not like she's my girlfriend or anything, you know? And so then Marina is talking about him to Lara,

and she's like, you know, yesterday I had my hair, put some perfume, blah, blah, blah. And I come out and Vian passed me, and he didn't even look in my eyes. And I'm like, okay, fine, man. And Laura's like, oh my God, I think they're like gods. Jeez. So then Zarina's telling Vian, you know, honestly, I can't stop having it, which I think is a little bit of a crush. And he's like, oh, yeah, well, I don't really know what to say about that. Do you want to ask me out on a date? So meanwhile, Adair and Johnny are dealing with the jet ski and she's like, hey, y'all,

I'm going to get this crane up over the boat, okay. Look, oh geez, there's moonshine in that jet ski. And he's like, no, I think that is just water. I think we have to drain the water. Are you sure it's not moonshine? Pretty sure it's just water. So Vion's like, why is it like this? And she's like, well, she's leaning weird, that's for sure.

And he goes, yeah, just drop it. She's like, why is it like this? And she's like, well, she's leaning weird, that's for sure. And he goes, yeah, just drop it. She's like, okay, well, cable up, I'm gonna lower it. And Johnny's like, should we bring that jet ski down? And she's like, yeah, I'm worried. I mean, that thing is leaking like a horse after a long trip. I mean, come on, what if they hit something out there? Or the one with the short hair can't swim.

Which listen, if you can't swim, don't go on things in the middle of the ocean. Don't go on water toys. And I'm not shaming people for not knowing how to swim. I'm shaming people for not knowing how to swim and then going into the middle of the water. Don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I can't ski. So I'm not going to like just grab onto someone who can ski and then just like go down a slope with them It's like I just this there will be no skiing for me. That's scary I can't swim and I went on one of those excursion things on a cruise one time where we were like a Snorkel or whatever and look at that. First of all, there was no underwater creatures

I don't know where the hell they all were They probably saw me above them and I like this is what it looks like when a rondell comes to eat you So they ran away. I never saw them but that water was rough. I could not swim. I was like, I'm going to die here. I'm going to die here in very shallow waters with my mom looking on in the smirk on her face. Like I paid for the swim lessons, you idiot. But I didn't die, but I'm still scared of going back out there. That shit's strong. So in other words, yeah, don't go in the middle of the ocean if you don't know how to swim. Yeah. So there's like, is this is a water ski? Is water supposed

to be completely filled on the inside of a jet ski? Now I'm nervous, honestly. And then Vian's like, Oh, no, it's very, it's, it's not an uncommon thing. I've seen this before so many times at beefcakes, there would just be like water in places that wasn't supposed to be just get them up, you know, turn on the valves. I mean, if it starts leaking, it means you're doing your job. That's how we said it at beefcakes. Like, wait a minute. So I don't think it's supposed to be filled on

the inside of the jet ski because yes, that's why there's valves you let the water drain. I'm not too concerned about it. And so they're like, okay, so now it's jet ski time. And Johnny takes India, she's the girl with a short hair on a jet ski, and then it starts toppling over the girl with the short hair on a jet ski and then it starts toppling over and they fall in the water and she's out. And they make it look really scary because they just keep the,

like there's like a GoPro on the jet ski and the jet ski is like tumbling around in the ocean. So it looks like India just died and she's fine. She's got a life preserver on, Johnny's right there. They're gonna climb back on, but you know, they make it look terrible. And I mean, it's scary for her. And I'm sure I hope the young gets in trouble

for disregarding safety practices, but I guess we'll have to wait till next week to see what happens. Imagine next week they're like, and that was the first passenger on blow deck to die. It's like, oh, whoa, nevermind. Yeah, just give us some warning before we make fun of these people every week.

Yeah. All right, everybody. Well we make fun of these people every week. Yeah. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us. We will be back with tons of stuff this week. If you want traders recaps or videos, come over to our Patreon and get live show tickets over at watchwhatcrappens.com and we'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

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