Watch What Crappens - #2750 RHOBH S1414 Part One: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

This is part 1 of a 2-parterOn The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Sutton throws a fashion show, and Kathy Hilton walks the runway. Too bad she wasn’t a model.  Meanwhile, Kyle reels from paparazzi photos of Mauricio and a new lady friend.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. Listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the incomparable and handsome Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

Well, hello. How are you? I am absolutely fabulous. Like one of your favorite sitcoms. Just, you know, enjoy it. We're midweek here. It's hump day. We're having a great time. I keep on thinking it's Thursday. I've thought it's Thursday the past three days, which is rough when you think it's Thursday all week long. But now we're actually approaching Thursday, so I'm feeling great. We have some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to discuss today. We will also be recapping on a separate episode, Denise Richards and her wild things. Also this week, very, very exciting. I think this is the reason

why I've been thinking it's Thursday all week long is because I can't stop thinking about it. Traders finale is this Thursday and we have been recapping the entire season on Patreon. So if you've been wondering where our traders recaps are, they're over there. Now if you are not a Patreon member, obviously we encourage you to join watchyourcrappins.com I mean patreon.com slash watchyourcrappens.com, I mean, patreon.com slash watchyourcrappens. But something has happened in the world of Patreon and Apple, which is that Apple has introduced kind of this Apple tax, which means that if you sign up through a Patreon app, as opposed to just going to the Patreon website normally, if you go through the app, Apple is going to take a 30% cut of that subscription.

I mean, it doesn't impact you, you pay the same amount. We're just saying it's crazy. No, no, it doesn't impact them. It's more expensive. Oh, it does? Oh, it does. Yeah, the prices through the Apple app are more expensive. So if you want 30% less, sign up online. Just sign up online and then you can still use the app.

That's crazy. I know, they're such greedy fucks. Like they're honestly such greedy fucks. And what do they do for that 30%? Nothing, nothing. They have a big little app. So if you wanna use the app, still use the app, just sign up via web browser.

Wow, that is really upsetting to hear. So yeah, go to the web browser. I mean, all these platforms raising their prices incessantly. For what? And then, you know, like, it's so funny, there was the whole strike last year and all these all these streamers and platforms said like, but we have no money as they continue to raise the price over and over and over again. I wish we could go on strike, but we won't. What do we talk about housewives with? I mean, that's one reason we'll never go on strike, but we won't. Who would we talk about housewives with? I mean, that's one reason we'll never go on strike.

Our heads will explode if we don't have somebody to talk about this shit with. Also, picketing is really hard. It's really annoying. I picketed during that strike, and I had to hold a sign, and you walk around, and it's hot and humid. Let me tell you something, it looks like it's easy.

You just walk in circles. It gets old really quickly. It doesn't look easy to me. It's hard to even walk around a grocery store. The other day I was in the HGB and I went from the produce to the eggs, just to see how expensive eggs were. Cause you know, I wanna be one of those people

who's like eggs, eggs are so expensive. I wanted to do that. So I did it. It was fun. It was like a tourist thing in the store. So I went over to the egg section and I was like, this is exhausting. I'm so tired. Like I looked at my steps on my app, on my, on my watch.

I was like, how many steps did that take? I'm so, I've aged five years. What was your, um, what was your picket chant? Was it like, hell no, we will go actually. This is a lot of work. No, I did this. I went and I stood in front of the ace, I went, eggs, eight dollars, oh my God, and then everyone, I know, and then everyone started going, not everyone, but a couple people were like,

isn't it ridiculous, what is this worth coming to? Just wait until the tariffs come. It was fun, I was rabble rousing. Yeah, I like that. You should have also added in, we're here, we're queer, and we're not used to these egg prices. I don't know any other- We're here eggs, we're queer eggs.

Get used to it. I mean, if they were queer eggs, I would pay that much money. That would be awesome to have like gay eggs. I'd be like, here's my 10 dollars. I mean, I feel like if the eggs prices were wrapped up in the eggs of silver whites, I would support it, but I don't think it is.

You're making eggs, you're like, I believe in life after love. I just start singing share. That's my protests. Queer eggs. Old queer eggs. It's like really old. I'm not no chapel rune for me. I'm still sticking with my old queen egg dance. Pink pony eggs.

So we're in that kind of mood. By the way, next week we're going back out on the road. We're going to Cincinnati, we're going to Minneapolis, and we're going to Toronto, eh? Love all three of those cities. Cannot wait to go back. So join us there, please. You can find ticket links on our website,

watchocrapins.com. And then we're gonna go to a whole bunch of other places later in the month, like Atlanta. By the way, New Atlantic is coming up this weekend, and it's really good. And all the whole schedule's there. So watchocrapins.com. Anyway, let's talk about- And we'll be announcing what we're doing next weekend for live shows on Friday. So watchrocarpets.com. Anyway, let's talk about it.

And we'll be announcing what we're doing next weekend for live shows on Friday, so check out our Instagram. And we'll also mention it here on the show, but that's where you find out. No, we will never mention it. It's a secret until you get there. We really don't know because it's such a weird in-between time for Bravo.

I'm used to having like multiple housewives to choose from, you know, at the end of the week, mid to end of the week. And we don't have that. So what would it be? We don't know. I know. And we're also doing like a Sunday show, which we don't often do Sunday shows. So it's like, what do we recap all the way on a Sunday when all the content aired earlier in the week? So we're going to figure it all out, but it'll be fun no matter what. And yeah, it's going to be fun times. I'm excited.

I'm excited to start egg rabble all over the country. I'm going to every grocery store in every town and going, oh, the price of eggs, I'm all right. We're gonna fight it out. Yeah, you do that. So, I'm talking like Michael's on Southern hospitality. So let's get all the recall. Real Houses of Beverly Hills, season 14,

episode 14, 14, 14 everyone. Hemlines and headlines. You know, I sewed a shirt last night. I finished sewing a shirt last night. I almost wore it on today's crap is on demand. And then I thought it'd be ridiculous. So I didn't, and now I kind of wish I had, I'm sad. I don't think it's ridiculous at all.

I saw it on your Instagram. I think it looks really good, that shirt. I was like, wow, Ben's inner style is really coming out with you learning to sell. Like I'm starting to see what you're going, like what your, you know, like your inner style. I don't know. Well, it's funny.

You know what's actually funny is that if I go to a store, I don't really know what to buy for myself and I usually wind up, I always get sort of something that's like blue or gray. And it's always kind of like samey samey. It's a little safe. But when I sew, I think going to the store, I see fun fabrics. I'm like, that looks fun.

Wouldn't this be wild? And so I make these wild things for myself. But then when I shop very tamedly for myself, isn't that funny? It's like before you eat, you eat queer eggs before you sew. You're like, yes, like you live in your bed so I've got that sewing machine, I love it. Oh, I got some crazy ass fabric also that is,

guys, here's a teaser. There's gonna be a wild, wild shirt coming down the pike. I got the craziest fabric that it'll be hilarious. Anyway, so fashion, right? We're starting to pose this one. Well, I just want you to know, while we're talking about fashion, I'm very proud of you. Thanks, Ronnie.

Okay. Thank you. Because that's all people do fashion for. I'm proud of you, too. They just need people to say they're proud. Are you proud of me or are you just proud because you just did a protest for queer eggs? I'm proud of you, I'm proud of queer eggs,

I'm proud of everybody. No, but I'm proud of you. You know I am a queer egg. So'm proud of you. I'm proud of queer eggs. I'm proud of everybody. No, but I'm proud of you. You know I am a queer egg. So let's do this. So Bo's is at home and really her only scene today is that she made tea for her daughter. And...

It's true. I felt kind of bad for her because she didn't get any scenes today, but it was nice. And she's like, I picked the lemongrass myself. And her daughter's like, where? And she's like, from the jar. Ha ha ha. I know she made a, by the way, she made a vanilla lemongrass tea. I don't know if I would like that

tea. I'm going to say that right now. I think I would like the lemongrass part of it. I don't think I want vanilla in my tea. I think vanilla lemongrass, I don't know how you make vanilla lemongrass and it's not sweet also. I don't know. I'm giving it a C. Vanilla, I think it makes everything better. Cause vanilla, every sweet recipe calls for vanilla. I mean, I eat overnight. Yes. That's every day.

Like that's my newest thing that I'm obsessing over. And the only thing that makes that taste good is vanilla. I don't care. You can put anything else in it, it won't taste right. But if you put some vanilla plus everything else, vanilla is a miracle worker, guys. You know what this world means? Vanilla, vanilla. Yeah, move over eggs. Vanilla is in town.

Now vanilla is great. And there was a whole article in the New York times about why, why do we say vanilla like such a pejorative all the time when it's actually such an important ingredient with so much flavor that's like really expensive and valuable. But we still like, Ew, that's vanilla. I'll spend $18 for that tiny jar of vanilla, please. So it's like, obviously like nice, but-

Yeah, vanilla's expensive, that's true. But it goes, it can go in crazy, it can go in a crazy direction. Vanilla extract, fabulous. Vanilla flavoring, I don't know. You mean like the artificial flavoring? Yeah, just like if you were to have like, like a vanilla scented candle,

which you obviously don't eat, or like a vanilla, like, if you have some sort of like maybe a vanilla mocha, something or another, sometimes that vanilla flavor goes on strong. And that's where my red flags are going off with this tea. I just feel like, isn't the lemongrass good enough? Why do you have to add the vanilla to it?

Well, I can guarantee you, no other podcast had this much controversy over Bose's time on the show today. No other podcast has been 10 minutes in and has only discussed eggs and vanilla. The Apple tax. Guess what we're in her to do. Nothing.

Okay, so now we go over to LA Model Management and Carcel's there with Jade and they've got their modeling agent over there who's like, guys, I've got a little surprise for you. It's your cue card or whatever it's called, your comp card. Yeah, and it's Jade's first comp card thing. And Garth's like, wow, you got your card, your comp card. That's huge.

And he just seems so uninterested. He's like, cool. Well, let me tell you what they didn't give me as a model for chunky clothes at Dillard's when I was a teenager. A comp card. They didn't give me as a model for chunky clothes at Dillard's when I was a teenager. A comp card, man, give me that. Where's my comp card? What, fat kids just don't get those?

You know, this is one of those times where I just get mad at skinny kids just for being skinny. Like, what do you get to be a model for? Guess what? They looked at me and they said, you know what you'd be good for? To repaint all of the bowling ball racks in the bowling alley.

Get to it, or you're never getting allowance again. Okay, that's what fat kids get. Wow. The original pink pony girl, Bonnie Karen. Why is that what the, is that what that song's about? She's like, cause her mom's like, my mom called me up and said, Oh, you're a pink pony girl. Like, like her mom doesn't let, if I remember correctly, which is not like I haven't heard the song in forever, but I so rarely actually listen to lyrics. She's like living out in West Hollywood and her mom's like, get back to Tennessee right now.

You're a Pink Pony girl. You're not someone who hangs out with the queers of West Hollywood. And then she's like, no, I'm in the Pink Pony club. Now this could be a totally inaccurate, but that was always my interpretation of the lyrics. That whole song has been about eggs being expensive this whole time. So, sorry, I'll let go of eggs.

I don't know why I'm so upset like a week later about eggs, but I am. Don't let go. So we're at Sudden's house and she is wearing some thick red frame glasses. And so she FaceTimes Reba and she's like, hi mom, how are you? And she's like, I could be, would be,

kind of could be such an okay. It's like, okay, mom, thank you. I'm excited to see you tomorrow. She goes, yeah, well, of course my hair's freezing up, but these are the sacrifices you make for a needy daughter in California. I'm sorry, were you not going for one of the mushrooms in Super Mario? Because you still look like that.

So I mean, I like that haircut. She's just like, I want to thwart Mario. That's my look. I like it. It's like she has a ravioli over half of her head. She has a giant gray hair ravioli just hanging right here. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Toad, oh, I wish Toad was like Reba.

I hate Toad's personality. Toad is like, he's like, yeah, all the time. And I would love to, I would just love a bunch of Rebas who's like, oh, you want to go into the castle? Do you ever think that maybe she just isn't that into you? Maybe she likes Bowser, huh, Mario? She was trying to get kidnapped. Do you think it's strange that Peach is kidnapped every single video game?

Okay, at some point you need to realize Peach is trying to get away. You realize it's a fool's errand to ask me to be proud of you when you're just a plumber. Okay, I want you to go to Wall Street, Mario. So Sutton's super excited, but you know, her hair is frizzing and Sutton goes, "'We have people like that. "'People like to read. "'Poor people, mother.'" Now listen, your hair is frizzing,

but at least your bank account's not on the fritz. "'Like poor eat!' By the way, I thought that episode was so funny and you know, I know it was really controversial with the whole Porit thing. People are like, oh my God, something's such a terrorist. Which I think we would agree with, but still applied. And I thought, well, that's such a stupid comment.

And it's not that funny. Like her reads, I thought were so stupid. Like you're poor. But man, it really caught on like wildfire. People are just calling Porit all over the internet. So you know what, mission accomplished. I guess she did a good job. Her gaze did well. just calling Dorit Porit all over the internet. So you know what, mission accomplished. I guess she did a good job.

Her gaze did well. Finally, after like six years of calling her Dorito, we now have Porit instead. So that's good. Go from this gas treat. She's making a new $5,000 jumpsuit that looks like you'd wear on safari if you were herding the animals in Africa.

And it's just gonna say Porit eat on the front of the main. Why did it take us so long to come up with poor eat? Like why did it take Sutton Strack to be the one to introduce poor eat to the masses? I feel like that's something that like we, as an internet community, should have been able to introduce like several years ago. I feel like it's probably something they stole

from a comment thread somewhere. You know, like a Reddit thing or something. Although I don't think I've seen it there before, but I see it now every single day. So then we go over to Kathy Hilton and Kyle is picking her up and, you know, Kathy's trying to get into the mailbox. She's like, Kathy, get into my car. It's the mailbox. She's like, oh, whoa. She's like, can you believe this? He, I'm wearing all black in the heat. I'm just not in the mood. You're like, I'm not in the mood because I'm single now.

Ah. Well, she would have worn a different color, but unfortunately that involves opening up a French door into a separate closet. And she hasn't quite mastered how to open a French door just yet. So Cathy is like, how are you doing? She's like, well, I think I'm like,

I'm like a bit shocked and still like processing because like, honestly, I was in the car driving with Jen and she felt so bad to tell me, but she had to tell me. And Jen, I believe Jen's her assistant, right? I think we saw her a few weeks ago, sort of crammed up against the side of the car, going to some party. So, this is of course referring to the headlines

of Mauricio spotted kissing a new woman in a random airport in Greece, where definitely there was a paparazzo just waiting. Yeah. You know, the theories are all over on that one. People are saying it's probably just a Bravo fan in the airport that ended up selling it to TMZ, which I can kind of buy because last week I was like, this is Kyle or Mauricio, you know, I was onto that last week, but I can see how it was probably just one of buy, because last week I was like, this is Kyle or Mauricio, you know, I was onto that last week, but I can see how it was probably just one of us, you know? That's actually true.

I mean, it's totally conceivable. I mean, iPhones are actually so powerful now that you could compete with a paparazzo, you know? Yeah, Windows probably one of us. We do it. iPhones specifically. We're like, fuck Apple. iPhones are the best in the world.

So she's very upset and wearing black today because, you know, Mauricio is getting some ass. And she's like, I'm just, I'm shocked. I'm processing. Like, oh my God. Oh my God. And then we see headlines. Mauricio spotted kissing new woman.

And she's like, honestly, I was like, I don't even know. I mean, she said she lost the feelings in her legs when she saw that like Jen did. And you know, I was like, maybe it's because I've been crushing you up to the side of the car and not really giving you leg room, but still you don't deserve it. You're an assistant. I don't believe that Jen lost feelings in her legs when she saw that photo. That is some assistant bullshit right there. That's someone angling for a raise. No, I guarantee every assistant that sees something

like that is chuckling and sending it to a group chat somewhere with other assistants. Okay, there's no assistant who sees that and is like, oh my God, I lost the feelings in my legs. That's the only people Kyle hires, you know? Like she hangs out with that guy, her best friend. He's so sweet, like he seems so sweet. He's on E or something now.

And he's always like, mm-hmm, Kyle. Like she loves that energy around her. Just like, oh my God, Kyle, I saw you in a Mapparizio and I lost my legs. Literally, I'm in a wheelchair. I'm in a wheelchair. Jen, oh my God, like we were walking through Whole Foods and she was just sliding across the floor. She says she still couldn't even use her legs yet.

She was so in shock from that photo. It was so hard for Jen to check me out at Whole Foods. I mean, she was just watching her drag herself to the checkout lane. I had to lift her actually to scam things. And when they said, why are you lifting a grown woman? I said, cause she's in shock. She saw a photo of Mauricio in the Mykonos airport kissing someone and then down went the cash register.

She just was like right there on the floor, everyone losing feelings in their legs. Oh, is that in tabloid? No, no. I mean, it's just only on E, but still huge news, huge. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap-ins commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics.

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.

Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Imagine this. You help your little brother land a great job abroad. But when he arrives, the job doesn't exist. Instead, he's trapped in a heavily guarded compound,

forced to sit at a computer and scam innocent victims, all while armed guards stand by with shoot-to-kill orders. Scam Factory, the explosive new true crime podcast from Wondery, exposes a multi-billion dollar criminal empire operating in plain sight. Told through one family's harrowing account of sleepless nights, desperate phone calls, and dangerous rescue attempts,

Scam Factory reveals a brutal truth. The only way out is to scam their way out. Follow Scam Factory on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Scam Factory, early and ad-free, right now by joining Wondery Plus. In the 1980s, a rose swept the country. Hey Mike, I really like this white Zinfandel.

Well good, good. Now put it down, I'm gonna try another one. White Zin became America's top-selling wine. But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history. What began in 1986 with counterfeit bottles. A big fraud, a multi-million dollar fraud. Sent investigators chasing one of the most powerful families in the business.

The Lachartes. But the closer the feds got to them, the more dangerous things became. It's a story of deceit. At the time I was paranoid. Threats. You touch my kids, I will kill you. And murder. With a.22 caliber bullet to the head.

What started with a scheme to mislabel wine spilled into a blood-soaked battle for succession. Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. You know, why is Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, why are they still on the cover of every tabloid? It's so weird, I noticed that at the grocery store. Can you tell I had a very eventful time

at the grocery store? Why are they still, why is it the same people from like 40 years ago on the cover of every tabloid? It's bizarre. True, but like who else are they going to put on there right now? Teeny others? I mean, if you're going to reach into the past, at least bring me people I want to know about what happened to teeny others. Who's she fucking? Who's teeny others fucking? Okay. Is she fucking Brad Pitt? I don't think so. Did she lose her

feeling in her legs when she saw Mariso kissing that girl? I'd like to know. Did she lose her feeling in her legs when she saw Mauricio kissing that girl? I'd like to know. Thank you. So, yeah, she has no feelings in her legs now. So Kathy's like, well, how are you doing? And she goes, yeah, oh, okay. So Kathy's like, so she lost her legs when she saw what? She goes, the picture of Mauricio.

Who? Mauricio, my ex-husband and that girl kissing. Oh, yeah, I saw that. She's like, well, isn't that why you're asking how I'm doing? She goes, well, kind of, yeah, but I wanted you to bring it up. I don't know.

I knew eventually we would see something like that. I just didn't want to be the one to say it. So we're allowed to talk about this on camera or are you gonna refuse to speak to me for three more years? They're all like, we've always thought Maurrescia was a man whore and we were just waiting for him to start man whoring it up now that you guys are separated. So I was like, I saw it like everyone else saw it on TMZ.

It's just like very strange to see. And I was expected to see him in person out or like at a restaurant or maybe he'd be like in a country music video with a hot girl. I don't know, but like, not like this. Yeah. music video with a hot girl. I don't know, but like not like this. Yeah. And she's like, well, I don't know. I'm feel guilty because like, I mean, he's allowed to do what he wants, you know, but like, it's also like, why are you being so irresponsible? Kyle, you have been following that lady around and calling the paparazzi to take your picture for literally years now. Just stop. I can't with Kyle and her like,

how could he purposely be in a paparazzi picture with the person he's having an affair with? Come to Morgan Wade, March 17th at the Palladium. But also didn't, again, didn't Kyle kind of like, didn't she, wasn't she the one who kind of like got this separation on the, you know, like on its, on its rails? Like wasn't this sort of like at her wishes? I don't know if we ever got that articulated, that it was her choice.

They made it feel like it was a mutual thing, but it seemed like all of last season was about how she wasn't feeling it anymore, and she had been pulling away from Mauricio, so I don't know. Because Mauricio wasn't around, like he was working too hard when she needed him the most. Yeah, and there were no-

You know, I get the whole being hurt thing, it's just the paparazzo thing is where I'm calling bullshit with Kyle because she's the worst at calling paparazzi on herself. It's like, look, Kyle Richards is passing Old Navy with lesbian lover Morgan Wayne. Kyle's like, so am I going to feel differently now? Is he not going to want to be as nice to me now? Is he like not gonna be allowed to? Like if he has a new person, like is he not gonna be allowed to be nice to me with a new person like in his life?

Like these are the thoughts that are going through my head that I'm just gonna like maybe also implant in my daughter's mind that there's like a new evil person somehow in our family. I don't know, like is this what's gonna happen to me now? We're having the best divorce ever. Like that was really holding onto that. Like now I might lose that. Yeah. Which I think is a valid concern because she can still have, they can still

play family, you know, when he's single. They can still like play family. But then if there's another lady there, it's going to be... Yeah, you can't play family anymore. But also she has been really, like she has been really taking a victory lap with her friends, you know, saying like, well, we just kind of have like the best divorce. Like we don't fight. Like everything is fine. Like we're kind of great. Uh, so this may threaten this whole identity that she's built up of herself as being like a model for a consciously uncoupling. Yeah. So she was like, well, yesterday I wanted to write him

and say like, who is that? I thought it was none of my business. And you know, and it's not. And Kathy's like, no, no. I mean, right now it's none of your business. Kathy! I'm sorry, was I not allowed to say that? Are you gonna stop speaking to me for anything?

Kathy, just always having to check in. So then we go to Erica's house, and Erica is doing that thing where there's no HGTV to show off your house, so she's just doing it herself. She's just like crying in every room like, oh my God, look how glamorous it all came together. I'm about to thank me for being so true to myself. And Martin Lawrence Blart is there.

Hello, hello. Look at all this glamour this morning. And we see before and after, it's like, it's one cluttered room becomes a different type of cluttered room, but it does look really good. It's a little busy for my taste, but it does look like it has an artistic point of view. So it looks, you know, he's a pro, he knows what he's doing. Yeah. I think it looks great. I love the wallpaper. You know, I'm a wallpaper person. The wallpaper was great. It's maybe a little overdone on the wallpaper, but I liked it. I thought it was really nice. The wallpaper in the kitchen, specifically the kitchen. I think the kitchen looks great.

He did like Palm tree wallpaper and then like a Palm, um, a Palm tree looking gold light fixture in there. I thought that looked pretty good. I like that. I actually thought the bedroom was his best room. That one just looked fantastic. It was like the living room to me was really good. At least it's just a minor quibble.

There was like a table that drove me nuts in there that had like little knobby legs and I just hated it. But other than that, you know, it looked great. Well, he also does things where he puts those antique chairs everywhere, where he's like, ooh, it's like your Marie Antoinette. This was actually from Marie Antoinette's deuce room or whatever, and he puts that in there.

I'm like, Eric ain't sitting in that. Give me a chair I can use. I don't want some dusty ass old chair. Oh, look at all this is all cleaned up and gorgeous. Just looks gorgeous. Just gorgeous, not to tell you something, last night I sat on this couch and I just took it all in. Some dick that is, I took in a lot of dick

on the new sofa, broke it right in. And I really liked that her best viewpoint is the one facing the new wall of mirrors. She's like, I just sat here, right here in this couch and I just took in the view. It's a view. You're standing, there's like 10 versions of you straight ahead, you know?

He's like, would you feel the new energy? And so we've seen the before and after and I think he did a really good job. He took a lot of her, well, he took some of the furniture and he still used it, you know, cause this was like a cheap job for him. It's not a cheap job to us. I mean, 35 grand is not cheap, but for him, that's pretty cheap. And basically a lot of that money was spent on taping off the walls to make straight line

painting everywhere. He really loves that. Like, look at the hallway. The bottom of the hallway is black. And then there's a black stripe. And then the rest is white. Look at the bundle there, stripes. I'm like, does every broom in here have to wear horizontal stripes? You know? I do this for Sharon Osborne. So- The vocalist was like, do I look fat in here?

By the way, Erika is also taking a victory lap because her song was used in a Nora, um, which when I saw Nora, amazingly, I did not pick out the Erica Jane song, but it was in there. So that's like, uh, that's a thing. So she says, I feel like a new woman. I feel like a Nora. This is such a great new beginning. It just feels like me. And I don't look at the furniture and have past memories. I look at it and it's mine. Mine is a little bit of razzle dazzle reference to

Chicago, which I'm currently starring in. It's a little bit of glamour. The glamour is coming back to Erica Jane. I got an antique chair, little antique table next to me. And the glamour is back. This house is so me. I tried to get earrings out of the jewelry box and I wouldn't get them to me, you little fucker. Now I no longer have to live like a pauper

in my small tiny two million dollar house. Now I can live the life of a wealthy person. So Martin's like, well you have a lifted energy, you feel lighter to me. She's like, yes I am, I'm smiling. Wait, hold on one second. Let me try to do something that I've heard about. It's called empathy.

Oh. Nope, still doesn't work. Well, you're not a miracle worker Martin. What can I tell you? Look, well, here's what you are. You're a phoenix in a world of, you're a phoenix in a den of gorgeousness. And then on cue, Erica's mom shows up like,

hello, Phoenix killer here, hi. Hi, it's the ashes from which the phoenix sprang. Oh, mom, you're here. She's like, I sure am. Wow, this is magnificent. Listen, you can't have a Phoenix without someone to set it on fire first. Hi, oh, look at this, wallpaper.

You know, Joanne's going out of business. If you want me to get some things for this place, I'll go real quick. Still, don't fall for it, Renee. Mom, be Martin. This is my mother, Renee. She, B. Martin, this is my mother Renee. She's an emotional terrorist and made me sad when I was younger when she sat in the back

of my dance recital and gave me dirty looks. It was my job, honey. He's like, muah, muah. Don't come near me, please. This is how I kiss now. Just stand right there, Renee. Muah, muah. Hey, sweetie Erica, I wanna just tell you something about your new boyfriend.

I think he might be a homosexual. It's just my interior decorator, mother. Oh, okay. She's got a little concerned there. So we're putting Legos in our face now. Nice house. And she's like, let me give you the till. First of all, turn around this way.

Look, the best wall in the house. It's me. Well, it's also you now, which really diminished the swath. Mom, move over to the kitchen. The wall is mine. I'm going to get the door. I'm going to get the door. I'm going to get the door. I'm going to get the door. I'm going to get the door. I'm going to get the door. I'm me give you the tour. First of all, turn around this way. Look, the best wall in the house, it's me.

Well, it's also you now, which really diminished this wall. Mom, move over to the kitchen. The wall is good again. And she's like, wow, this is gorgeous for a tacky person's home. She's like, thank you, mother. Now, do you want to see the living room? Okay, step in here.

She's like, well, honey, I haven't actually had to really move. I'm sort of feel like no matter, if I take like a little inch this way, I'm in one room and inch that way. I'm in another. It's a pretty small place. I don't think I know how you left home, but still managed to design a home that looks like where Tom is now residing. Are there bedpans around here that you want to decorate the living room table

with? It's a whole new vibe. She goes like, well, thank? It's a whole new vibe. She goes like, well, thank goodness. You needed a whole new vibe. This is more you, whatever you is to you these days. Just thank you, mother. Now would you like to see the bedroom? Ooh, that's a hotspot. Ooh.

Oh, I bet. I bet it is. So they go to look at this weird black and white hallway. The black and white hallway is the only thing I don't like. I don't like it. It's not working. Yeah. It's not working.

So we see the before and it was plain white and now it's got the palm tree everywhere. I'd also like to see maybe one solid wall. I don't know. The whole, it looks too fun housey with the wallpaper all around. Cause this is some loud wallpaper. But I think it's pretty nice.

It's a lot of wallp it's also a new bed. Her bed is too like earth Tony for this room. So Renee is like, well, I like this. Like an actual HGTV show. It's too earth Tony. He's called, this is something I did for $5. Please shut the fuck up.

No nothing. So Renee is like, oh, I like this. It's like a light shade of copper. I'm no, that's rose gold, mom. You're surrounded by Hollywood palm. Also known as light shade of copper and palm fronds. But it's like interior decorators, they've got to say, it's rose gold and Hollywood palm,

special palm from Hollywood. She's like, well, I'm not familiar with palm. For all I know, this is they palm. I mean, this is Erica's bedroom. We know what that's led to. So, well, this is really a room for you to star in Erica. What every mother wants to hear, Martin. Thank you. This has been fun.

Now I'm a big stickler. I don't like to see seams in wallpaper like this. I like it. Oh my goodness. My mother has landed. I'm just so thrilled that I cannot thank you enough, Martin. Now get off our televisions. So then Kyle and Kathy are arriving at the Bedford Breast Center and it's time to

get some, some mammies done. Yeah. Some mammograms and gossip. So they, they fill out the questionnaire talking about, you know, cause their, their mom died of breast cancer. And so Kyle talks about that, about her mom didn't get a mammogram for five years. And then by the time she found like a lump in her breast, it was stage four, et cetera.

So it's a good reminder, everyone get their mammograms. And then they do it, et cetera, and afterwards they wind up in a room. And wait, then Cathy is getting her mammogram, and she's like, oh, is that Bed Bath and Beauty that you have on? I didn't catch that, who did she say that to? I think the technician, and she's like,

no ma'am. Poorly it smells like one of those 20% coupons that I get in the mail, covered with rain. Wow, you smell. And Carl's like, this is not fun. This is very anxiety provoking. And so we see the scans and Kathy's like, okay, here's the test I wanna know.

Who has bigger boobs, Kyle or me? So they go to this like holding area. You put your boob into the ficus. It's still squeezing, so it's doing something. She got a ficus a gram. So they go to this like holding room and they're just like looking, Kyle's looking at her phone and Kathy's like,

so it seems now that after the article, but with Maurice, with that woman, like not everybody's used to having to see that. And Kyle's like, yeah, I know. Imagine how he's feeling now, knowing I saw it and all the daughters saw it. Like I know him very well. He's like freaking out.

He's a cancer, right? I'm like, maybe not at the mammogram center, but it's true. He's a cancer. Timing, timing. Although I guess that's a good place to hate cancer, you know, when you're in the mammogram place. So she's like, yeah, he's a cancer,

so he's very sensitive and scared, and you're so strong, Kyle. I mean, look at you freaking out right now on your phone, just scrolling for any comment about Mauricio. You're just so strong, you know? I mean, you're the stronger one, a hundred percent. Oh, no, I sound like him. A thousand percent, a thousand percent. I'm taking your husband's business, a thousand percent. I support my wife making a life about your show, even though you're getting no money or permission to write anything, a thousand percent. Kathy, Kathy, come back down, Kathy.

And then we see a montage of Mauricio over the years saying, a hundred percent, a hundred percent, a hundred percent, a hundred percent, a hundred percent. And somewhere Paige DeSorbe was furious because she's like, it's a thousand percent stealing my thing. So yeah, a hundred percent over and over again. And Kyle's like, well, you know,

this year's been very challenging. Anyway, I think that like he would, I would think that he would like text and say something. I don't know why I would think that, but I think he would. And Kathy's like, what? He's a single grown man. He doesn't have to.

And she goes, well, when people are quiet, it tells you a lot. Kyle. Mm hmm. Watch me. I'm going to be quiet. I can't do it. Just continue. Just continue. I was like, what does it tell us? Well, if you think about it, what he's banging someone else, Kyle, come on. I don't have to connect the dots. So Kyle's like, you know what I need to do I'm gonna do it right now because he's getting more attention than me. He's getting more attention than me So I'm gonna go on Instagram and I'm gonna remove wife from my Instagram bio

Cuz like why would I have wife on there with him running around with some young girl? No, okay you had wife on there when you were running around with some girl why switch it now All right. Well also now that I've erased wife from my Instagram bio, it means I've freed up four more characters from my bio. Hmm, what to use them for? Okay, how many characters are in Co-Star of Jamie Lee Curtis in the future film Halloween?

It's more than four. You know what, I'm just gonna put in Shrimp because Morgan really likes ramp You got some shrimp Real shrimp spicy shrimp popcorn shrimp butterfly shrimp So she's basically that's her big move she's gonna take that's her big move. She's gonna take wife off her bio, dun, dun, dun. And you know, she's saying it's for her own pride, but I think it's cause she wants more stories about her

cause she's jealous that Mauricio is getting the stories. So she's like, yeah, I mean, he took off husband and father of his bio, he just put CEO of the agency. So I'm not gonna have that on there. He just put CEO of the agency. So I'm not going to have that on there. It just feels so stupid. By the way, you also know that this is for headlines because the real retaliation move is you keep wife up and you get to say, Oh, okay. Well, I guess he's just kissing girls and making us I'm just the wife and Beverly Hills. So like she's really sacrificing that card by doing this. Just want to say.

Yeah. And we see most bio, which is interesting. Entrepreneur, CEO and founder of the agency, executive producer of buying Beverly Hills Netflix and co-founder American Real Estate Association. Inventor Real Estate. By the way, you know what I hate? I hate that he, we never really thought about, I never really thought about the proper spelling of his abbreviated

name Mo, but in my mind that's M-O and he does M-A-U and I'm sorry, I don't think that's right because that's Ma. I know like- I would say M-A-U. You would say M-O? But M-O is not even great. I would say M-O. Why would you do that? Why would you do it? Well, look, because I think that M-A-U is Ma.

And I understand that like in his name, it's spelled Mauricio. And like when in the context of a Mauricio at the end of it, it becomes Mo. But without a Mauricio, it's Ma. and I think it should change into Mo. Sorry I'm gonna say I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a very important thing for me. It should be M.O. Okay, what's his M.O.? It's not M.A.U. It's M.O. Okay? So Kathy's like well, I don't think that this lady knows any better and she's like well clearly He doesn't know that his photo is being taken but But like, I mean, it looked like somebody was taking that photo intentionally, intentionally, Kathy. And she goes, well, not to be rude, but I mean, it's not like you're with

Brad Pitt. What is, why Kyle keeps on saying, well, he definitely didn't know the photo's being taken. She keeps on saying that over and over and over again, which is such a strange defense. Like, it's not strange to have that defense, but like that she keeps coming back to it. It's very curious to me. So Kathy's like, well. Secret, like you think it's weird that she's saying, oh, well, it's not like he did it on purpose

because he didn't know that picture was being taken, right? That's how I'm taking it. Like, it's not like he was trying to hurt me because he didn't see somebody taking his picture. It was like a hidden camera or something. So it's not like he was trying to hurt me or anything. But this girl is doing it. It's the woman who's purposely making the picture known so she can get more publicity. You know, it's like, oh, same old, same old with Kyle. There could be that. And, or maybe it's like an overcompensations that way. Like she probably thinks that he's aware.

Everyone thinks that this photo was staged, but she's trying to take the high road by like, no, he had no idea. I'm gonna take the high road on this one. But it's like, it's ringing inauthentic to me. And I don't know what the motive is, but it's ringing inauthentic. So Cathy's like, well, we've all heard all about

all the rumors about him and it's embarrassing. It's humiliating. But you know, we really never seen a picture, nobody's ever come out. He's not in a position financially to pay anyone off. What did that mean? Well, I just love, I mean, well, is the implication that he's in some sort of arrears

and some debt, or is it just that Cathy Heldon's so wealthy that Maurizio's considerable wealth to her just seems like a very poor person? Like, oh, well, he only has about $300 million in his account, so he barely has a dime to his name. I mean, how much does it cost to pay people off? $90 trillion? I mean, come on, he doesn't really have that.

Yeah, because I think he's pretty rich. I mean, the agency's a pretty huge deal. I mean, it's all across America all of a sudden. I mean, I'm sure he's pretty rich, but I don't know. What does Kathy know? Tell me what he knows. So Kathy's like, let's find out what she does. Okay, cause like, I don't even care,

but if you want to look it up, fine. Here's her LinkedIn and here's her Instagram. And also I found her DMV records. I don't even care. I got a piece of DNA off the brush that she used there. So maybe you could run that through someone. Not that I really care. Okay. Her name is Estella and she's a 4% Chinese. Oh, she beat me. She beat me. Well, I thought it was that lady. You know, she reminds me of the lady with the dancing. Okay, Kathy. Okay, I don't want to keep talking about her so much. Okay. I also found here's her criminal record. So you can look at that and talk about that on camera. I don't want

to talk about her anymore. Carl, this is going to cost $19.99 to run the DNA. You're really low on cash though, right? What's the kind of money to pay the DNA people off? I don't want to talk about her. Here's some security cam footage of her to Carvel. I do not want to talk about her. Why do her fingerprints look like rhinoceroses? Am I right? Look at these things. Can you believe she wrote about Snow White in her senior thesis? Oh my God. I just don't even want, I don't even know who this person is. Oh my God. Thank God we're here. I got my hands on her last pap smear. But not that I care not that I really care cool Oh my god, I found it. Where'd that come from?

Look at this discarded box of cheez-its that was in her trash. I mean how disgusting Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry to interrupt your scene. I actually left those on accident. All right Back to the car. Have a good one Kyle meme me soon, darling You know these cheese this it box was for me because I taped a meme to it. And it's kind of our thing. You know, I was like, oh my God, is this her? She's just a little girl.

No, Kathy, that's a little girl sitting in the back seat going. Oh, okay. It's a meme, Kathy. All right. I just realized what you were doing the backseat giving that dirty look like what the hell. So she's like, well, it's a Stella. It's a Stella. She's like, I don't care what her name is. It's like, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. But it does remind me of when he put that picture of the dancing with the stars lady and Kathy stop it. Okay. Well, I just, you're right, you're right. But it does remind me of when he put that picture of the Dancing with the Stars lady in there. Kathy, stop it!

Okay, well, I just, you know what? It could be somebody else next week. So why even worry about this girl? She's like, yeah, I mean, like, she gets, yeah. Like, who cares? And Kathy's like, I mean, it could be, she could be a nice person, you know? She could be nice, who knows, you know?

But you have to digest it, Kyle. You have to digest it, okay? Kyle's like, we don't say the D word on this show. So Kathy's like, well, he clearly did not orchestrate it, but you know, like there are other ways of finding out who did, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, hunk, hunk, armpit, armpit fart, armpit fart. One ringy dingy, two ringy dingy.

What's the game, Kathy? I do not care. Are you calling TMZ or are you just gonna keep saying for one ringy dingy, two ringy dingy. What's the game, Kathy? I do not care. Are you calling TMZ or are you just gonna keep saying one ringy dingy, two ringy dingy? Kathy, what's great about this is that Kathy has a whole arsenal of tricks to shut down stories, AKA, who just pays someone off and to get to the bottom of things,

which of course she does because you're not the mother of Paris Hilton and Nikki Hilton without these tools. But it's just so funny how ready she is to employ them. Pete Slauson Yeah, I wish she had. I want to know who did it. This is the biggest mystery of the year on this show, at least. So, then the doctor comes in and I just think it's so funny because her name is Alyssa Wontabe. And I just think it's so funny that Kyle has a doctor named Wannabe. It's like so fucking perfect for Kyle. So, hi, I'm Dr. Alissa Wannabe, um, doctor of thirst. Uh, Kyle, do you want to get these results or should we wait for your Amazon Live? So, um, this lady, she just comes in and she's like, Hi, I'm the radiologist. Everything

looks fine. I, I'm just going to smile because I don't know what to do with myself. I'm on TV talking to Kathy Elton right now. Oh my God, what a fan. So Kathy is like, do we get, do we get stickers on lollipops? And she's like, um, well, I'll look to see if you have lollipops. No, well, I got a guy I can call someone up. One ringy, two ringy, get a little sticker. Okay, Kathy, relax. So now let's go to Sutton, the store in West Hollywood, which nobody knew it was the last days of this store.

So she's going through her inventory, lots of, you know, weird, khaki uniforms from the 50s for like, I don't know, storage workers. And she's like, we got some situations here. This is an extra large. It doesn't need to be in this pile. I want the mediums here and I want the extra larges over there, Avi.

So Garcelle shows up, she's like, hello. Oh, come on, sit down. Okay, let's get away from the t-shirts because I'll go insane. What can I get you? Well, whatever you're going to have. Well, it's after five, so I'm going insane with this freaking fashion show. So let's get some hard liquor up in here because the last thing I need is more accusations of being an alcoholic.

Okay, so what do you want? So they start drinking and she talks about how her mom's supposed to come. But her flight at eight in the morning was canceled. So no, of course, no, I'm not kidding. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Did Reba show, did Reba show them her comp card? You don't have one of those. I did show them her picture in case she got lost. And they said, she just took out Mario. So we're trying to catch her. It was rough.

That was rough. And so she says that there's a flight outage and it was when that big, there was that big outage across the country and everything was grounded. And so she's like, oh, typical sudden stop. Even the national grid is coming after my pride and happiness. Turns out Kathy Hilton is not the only one who can put a phone call in. Reba's like,

hello, air traffic control. What does a sweet old lady from Augusta, Georgia have to do to ground all the planes in America so I don't have to go to Los Angeles? Thank you very much. I know you see on the news, it turns out the outage was caused by an old woman uploading a virus. She got an email from a Nigerian prince

claiming that he had an inheritance for her. She's like doing war games like with Matthew Roderick or something. Just like, all right, I'm uploading it to the system. And it's like the net. It's like those progress bars that's like, okay, 30 more seconds. All planes are now officially grounded and I'm staying in Augusta. That's so funny. So she's like, well, she's going to come tomorrow.

I just got a text and her flight is gonna be coming tomorrow. So we hope, fingers crossed. And so she's like, yeah, I've never done a fashion show, but I've been to a lot of fashion shows and I know what I like, okay? I just want it to be fun and gorgeous. I want someone just dressed like they're hired to pick up golf balls off the ground.

That's what I want. That's my dream. That's my dream. Oh, and by the way, Garcelle, your son is gonna be walking and then we see Jade flashback to Jade posing and sounds like this is a big deal for him to walk in a fashion show for a boutique that's about to close down.

And Garcelle's like, yes, this is your night. Take it in. Well, there's not gonna be any bullshit in my night. I want all of our friends to feel welcome. So you know what, invite to read or pour, read. Here's the clothes she's gonna get to high fashion in a long time, okay? So I don't know, am I gonna invite her?

Am I not gonna invite her? Garcelle goes, that is the question. Sorry. So then we see a montage of all this fighting, porreech, and all of this good stuff. And then Garcelle's like, I mean, it's just never done. It bleeds, to read and sudden it bleeds into something else and then it blows up and there's never gonna be

a resolution between those two. I mean, I haven't even had a chance to talk about this. I've built a beach house and I've never been prouder. It's like people forget that I have a beach house and I've never been prouder. It's like people forget that I have a beach house in Oxnard. So Garcelle's like, well, what about a group text? Oh, should I do a group text? Yes, that's what I said.

What about a group text? Do people on cricket get the same text that the people on Verizon get? Well, it's up to her if she wants to come or not. Okay, can we get the, by the way, okay, can we just talk about Kyle now? Can we gossip about Kyle now? Well, it's up to her if she wants to come or not. Okay, can we get the, by the way, okay, can we just talk about Kyle now? Can we gossip about Kyle now? So, Garcelle pulls out a tabloid video of Mauricio and the girlfriend on the phone,

you know, and Garcelle's like, well, look at this. Look at this. Look at this hug. What is she wearing? It's not Kyle by Alien 2. No. The girl is, what's she wearing? Like a thong bik Alien 2. Ha ha ha ha ha. No. The girl is, what's she wearing?

Like a thong bikini with a cover up over it, right? I mean, I'm guessing they're in some luxurious resort in Greece and she's like, okay. I think they're at the airport still. Why not? I don't think it's that crazy to wear this. Can we just leave the woman alone? The woman didn't do anything.

I don't know what everybody's mad at her for, you know? I like sudden, she goes, oh, Mauricio, get your dentures out. Cause you know what? She's your daughter's age. And I think that Kyle needs to say enough. It's like, well, it's still our ex husband. Well, he's not her ex husband. It's her husband that she's holding onto for a pipe dream and Cinderella.

Well, guess what? You didn't lose one shoe. You done lost two shoes. Girl, you about to lose the house. That's what you're going to lose. Jesus Christ. These ladies are vicious. So I don't even like Kyle. And I was like, damn. And so I'm like, well, I think Kyle's holding out for this moment of Mauricio, you know, coming back and being like, Oh, it's a terrible mistake.

I'm moving back in. But you know, I hope that Kyle sees through what he's doing. I hope she sees right through it. Sutton is never more triggered than when she's discussing divorce or when she's around people who are divorced. So triggered, shady Sutton is just such a great form of her and just sees, telling Kyle that she lost

both of her slippers is so cruel. I love it. So because I can also see Kyle being that Cinderella, you know, be like, okay, well, who has the other slipper? I actually left my other slipper at the steps of the palace by accident. So I can't verify that they belong to me. So now they're basically just kind of making fun of Guile, you know, and she's like, she needs to wake up. Does she not realize Marisa has moved on? What does it take?

Now we've both been through it and there's ways to handle it like adults and that's called attorneys. And when anybody wants to get a divorce, that's when we're gonna have a real good girls night. Hey everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half.

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