Watch What Crappens - #2753 Summer House S09E4 Part One: The Hannah That Rocks The Cradle

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

This is part one of a two-parterThe long shadow of Hannah Berner continues to rankle Kyle on Summer House, and Paige has had enough of it. Also, Lindsay has a gender reveal scavenger hunt that’s as fun as it sounds! To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Get Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria tour at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Indeed.com slash wonder ECA. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, Indeed is all you need. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen. And ultimately you triumph in finding it again. Listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today on this wondrous Thursday, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. Ronnie Karam Hi, how are you? Ben Mandelker I'm good. How are you? Ronnie Karam Good. Got some extra pep in your step today. Ben Mandelker I do have some extra pep because I just had a bagel. It's Bagel Thursday for me and I'm just like full of life and happiness. And I got to talk to you about cameras before we started recording. Um,

yeah, we had a fun time. So, uh, very excited to talk some summer house today before we do that. Um, some housekeeping first and foremost, as you may know, we are going to Cincinnati, Minneapolis, and Toronto next weekend. And we're doing live shows. I'm not just going there for fun. We're doing live shows. Obviously tickets are at watchwhatcrappens.com.

Please come join us. We are here to tell you what we are recapping on each of those nights. So the first night in Cincinnati, we will do Summer House. The second night in Minneapolis, we will do Southern Charm. And the third night, which is a Sunday in Toronto, we're going to do a classic Real Housewives episode. We are going to do December Berkshires County Rony. You know it, it's the Berkshires episode. It's the I made it nice. It's the you stole my hair episode. It's the, you know, you stole my hair episode.

It's the episode. We're doing it on Sunday in Toronto. So it's going to be three great shows. We love doing all three of those shows in person, live shows. So we're going to have a great time with it. So definitely go to watchcrapins.com to get your tickets for that. And then Patreon, of course you can watch us. Hello everyone,

with Crapons on Demand at patreon.com slash watch for crap. And if you sign up for Patreon, we are making this announcement all week because we really want to make sure that you don't get impacted by this. Apple has introduced a tax and in this era of tariffs and surcharges, of course, Apple adds a tax to Patreon. So if you sign up through the Patreon app that you got from the Apple Store, you are going to pay a surcharge. But if you just go to the website, if you just go to patreon.com and sign up that way, you don't have to deal with a surcharge. So go to the website, use your browser and go to the website.

And there have been questions. If you're already signed up on Patreon, this won't affect you. It's only if you sign up. So yeah, don't give Apple that money for doing nothing. Go through the website. Traders finale is tonight, which I am, that's also probably why I have a pep in my step.

I cannot wait to see what happens. We are recapping it like we have all season and that's exclusively on our Patreon. So that's all the really fun stuff to talk about for today. Yeah. Exciting times guys. Okay. So here we are with Sommahausen Season 9 Episode 4. It's a big day because it's a gender reveal. Pete Slauson Whoa, it's a gender reveal. It's also a big deal because this is the episode where Hannah Berner makes her triumphant return to Summerhouse. Not in a physical form, but in spectral form because she is haunting, she is haunting Kyle Cook this episode and it is hilarious.

Pete Slauson Well, it's super interesting that this is her kind of comeback to Summerhouse in ghost form because she's getting ripped apart right now on the internet. Have you read? What happened? I did not see this at all. So, Paige and Hannah were on the red carpet for the Oscars interviewing people. Yes. And it was, you know, maybe a little cringy. And they had Megan the stallion, or as I call her Megan, the stallion on the red carpet, and they just couldn't shut up. They were talking go for her. And Hannah's like, Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry. You know, I love your music. Every time I listen to you, like I listen to you when I want to fight someone, I listen to you when

I want to fight someone. This poor lady's just like, uh-huh. And she's taking it pretty well, but they're like fanning out all over her acting crazy. So first, they were just getting ripped apart for being bad interviewers. You know, people are like, don't put podcasters on the red carpet, which I don't know, as an overall blanket statement, I don't know that that's fair. I know that you shouldn't put me on the red carpet because I'd be like, Oh my God, what's your favorite color M&M? Do you think M&M's really talk? Have you ever put an M&M in your belly button to save it for later?

Like I'd be crazy. I would not be able to do it. So I've done red carpet work before and that was literally like I did a red carpet once and I asked Padma Lakshmi I said, I'm going to a potluck later tonight. What should I make? And she was like, Wow, I don't understand even what that is. Actually, she was really nice. Go on, Ronnie. So, well, if you want some potbelly, unlock, just cook something Gail likes. You know, it was kind of cringy, but it was our first time, whatever. I didn't think that much

of it, but there have been thread after thread about these two. So then Hannah today came out with a big apology on- Jared Sussman Which, this is what I saw. Peteus Yeah, she came out with a big apology, like, oh my God, I, you know, I met one of my idols and I got to speak to her and it's always been my dream to interview her. And so, I use the word fight, because I guess people are, you know, inferring like a microaggression because she, you know, she said she uses that music to fight or whatever. I mean, I would have said to fuck it with violence. You know, I would have been dumber.

Let me just... Pete Slauson I started to read this. I started to read it. She posted something that was like, it's always been my dream to interview Megan Thee Stallion. And I interviewed her and then I just stopped reading it. So I was like, oh, she's just having a moment where she was like reflecting on being at the Vanity Fair. Moving on, I had no idea she was apologizing for something. Yeah, it was like her apology for microaggressions

or whatever for Megan Thee Stallion. And I thought, wow, she's having quite a week this week. Wow. So yeah, that's what's a week this week. Wow. So yeah, that's what's going on with that stuff. But yeah, just don't put me on a red carpet. Bringing it all back to me, just don't ever do it. It's just not a good idea, because I saw that and I was like, oh no, she's probably Oprah

compared to me, you know? You know what, though, gays can get away with a lot more things on a red carpet, because if you watch, like this is, okay, this is what we can get away with a lot more things on a red carpet. Cause if you watch like this is okay, this is what we can get away with on a red carpet. Oh my God, your ankle, I die. It's like a beautiful little Mount Everest, but on your foot in the best possible way. It's iconic. If you've put it sideways, it looks like the logo for Toblerone,

which I know is a different mountain. But if you think about it, like that's honestly like my favorite candy bar. And like people be like, oh my God, I love you. I love you. If we're gay guys, they can do it. But anyone else that's like, why are you talking about my ankle? I know, other than like, oh my God, girl,

you're the reason women used to have to hide their ankles. Because that is scandal. That is scandal. Your ankle is living. Can I talk to your ankle? Like hey ankle, here, put the mic up to the ankle. Icon mother, what do you have to say about that? Your icon is, your ankle is a slay right now.

Toblerone. I wanna fuck your ankle. Like I just get so weird, you know? Can I fuck your ankle? Matterhorn. I don't know, like that's where I went. But the point is this. I think we would be, we would be a disaster on the point is this, I think we would be a disaster

on the red carpet, but I think it'd be fun. It's hard work. Pete Slauson No, don't put that out into the universe. No, I'm not doing that. And yeah, it is work. I want to sit down. Jared Slauson No, no, no. I'm not trying to solicit it. I'm not trying to solicit it. I just think it would be fun. It's hard, but it's fun. Pete Slauson Yeah. Like everything. Okay. Oh, God, my Botox is so wearing off. Look how much I can move my face. This is disgusting. This is supposed to last three months. How much am I supposed to pay for Botox?

For fuck's sake, my eyebrow muscles are so... Okay, I'm going to do the rest of the podcast just holding my eyebrows like this. All right, Ben, go ahead. Ben Stuart Here, I'll do it too, and you as support. I'm going to need to hold my this like this for summer house. It's summer house day. So let's get into it. So Sierra has just learned about the text from Kyle and Paige has just said, you're lucky I don't buy Loverboy and sell it. So now a big group is sitting outside relaxing and Jesse's like, you know what guys, no beef

this weekend weekend just vibes Joe sitting there there like Pages like I'll tell you what vibe I want fuck Kyle So Kyle comes out he hugs everyone and I'm rule and everything and Jesse's like daddy's home So yeah, why is Jesse like how is it that Jesse is so young? I mean, he's so young, but he's like a divorced dad, you know, like dropping his cheerleader daughter off at like a party, a senior party. I mean, like, hey girls, hey, still got it, right?

He's like, unbutton one extra button before he goes in. Why does he give those vibes? It's so creepy. He really does. He really also has the vibe of like a baby Bjorn dad. Like he's ready to go into that. Like as much as he's like, I love girls, I love you know, you can see Jesse in like seven years

walking around barbecues with a little baby strapped to his chest the whole time. And that's nothing wrong with it. It's just, I really can see it, which is good. Cause he has that sort of chest dent that he talks about. That's perfect to sort of nestle a little baby right in there, you know? But that's kind of his vibe. He's like a dad. Pete Slauson I'm not going to even put that image in my head.

Jared Larsen What? A nestled baby? Pete Slauson No, just Jesse jumping over to dad mode. I don't think I'm ready for that. I need time, you know? This is summer house. This has taken nine years to get someone into parent mode. I need my time. Jared Larsen No, he's going to be one of those – Pete Slauson He's going to be one of those people that's like, fuck boy, fuck boy, fuck boy, fuck boy, fuck boy, suddenly dead. And you'll be like, wait, what happened? And then that'll be his personality is like, I was such a fuck boy, but now I'm like a dad. It's awesome. But then he's

also the dad that winds up hitting on the babysitter. I mean, we know the trajectory. It's all right there. Yeah. I'll be like, juicy booty. Someone needs a diaper change. Someone's got juice in their booty. He'll just like use the same terminology, but, but change the meaning. Yeah. Like in a non creepy way, he'll just take everything. Okay. So they're like, where's Bailey? Bailey's not here this weekend, which I don't know if anyone else noticed, but they did. And Lexi, I guarantee that's the last time they're gonna ask. That's the last time we're gonna hear that. Okay. Go on. Lexi's like, she hates you. Now she's like, she's, she's having boyfriend issues. I think. So Danielle's come, Danielle's still here. So she's, she comes up and, uh, this is hugs. You know, it's a lot of hugs. Kyle's

like, whoa, you need a hug. We need a hug. I know it has been so long since I've been here. Really been working on my... Hi everybody else. Lover boy, lover boy. All right, everyone, we're going to do a scap draw to find out the gender of my baby. So I'm like, they are all good sports because no one even groans or rolls their eyes. And you can tell that Kyle has really pissed off Paige because she's so preoccupied being mad with Kyle. She doesn't get to roll her eyes at this gender reveal.

Because you cannot tell me that Paige likes a gender reveal. Pete Slauson I just don't believe this on Summer House, a gender reveal scavenger hunt. You want me to, you want this to believable, you want this to be believable. You need to like lose your baby and then have everybody scrambling to find your baby. Because that's natural. You know what I mean for this cast? She'll just be like, oh, I lost my baby. I got on the phone at the subway. And next thing I know, I was on the train. I was like, oh my God, I love my baby on the bench. Everybody find it. Pete You know, I have to say, I've never been invited to a gender reveal. And I want to be

invited so that way I can not go out of protests. I feel like it's really important to send this message out in society. I cannot support a gender reveal. I will not support one. And I don't care who it is. And I know someone will reach out to me and say, but I actually had a gender reveal. It was really fun. I guarantee none of your guests thought it was fun and no one wants it to be there. Well, I've been to a gender reveal, but it turned out to be a circle jerk. I just didn't really understand the terminology until people took over for babies. Like, Oh, so I guess this is a gender reveal, huh? Like, no, uh, actually,

that has to do with dyed smoke. Oh, sorry, sir. Please put your penis away. This is, this is all the stuff. Fog-teller is the cake. Yeah. So, Lindsay's like, the whole point of celebrating this

is because I just spent such a long time. And then she's like just burps. She's saying, sorry, I just spent a lot, things just happened in pregnancy. Anyway, I just spent a long time hiding this and now I want to celebrate as much as I can. Sure. Okay, fine.

I don't know. So then I feel like- I think it's like hiding sexuality. It's like hiding anything else. It's like, you know, when you finally come out of the closet, you're just like, give it over. You know, where's the nearest wiener factory? You know, you're just like, I'm so gay. Oh my God, Chapel Road, I love Chapel Road, I love Cher, I love Cher, too.

Have you ever seen big business? Oh my God. Pete Slauson I'm cheering up my Linkin Park posters. Putting up Chapel Road. Just do it all at one time. Jared Slauson It took me so long to get here. Pete Slauson Yeah. Jared Slauson Although, it only took me till I was 15. But I was still really excited. Hence, the gender reveal party I told you about earlier. Okay, so next up, Danielle's like, I feel like a gender reveal usually includes the baby

daddy, for one. You know, I mean, I just spent such a long, you know, Turner, like, I don't think Turner's coming to this. In fact, I know he's not coming to this, but you know who is? Her ex fiance. So maybe she's just trying to rub it in Carl's face. Shut the fuck up, Danielle. Do you have any loyalty to anybody on this show? Don't start shaming somebody, because I'm glad that she didn't bring fucking Turner

to this, and I'm glad she's gonna raise that damn baby alone. What kind of lady are you? Leave her alone. Yeah, and Ted Turner's old. He doesn't have time to go to these things. So I say, Is he still with us? He's still popping out children. Men will still get the baby till they're 90 years old, Al Pacino.

Yeah. Here's what I got to say. I don't think that Lindsay's doing this to rub it in Carl's face. She's doing it to rub it in America's face because she's been trying to have this baby for so long. And so I don't like a gender reveal. I think it's excessive and annoying and stupid. And like, no one like you're, you have to force enthusiasm for something you don't inherently care that much about. It's like, okay, great. But that being said, Lindsay's been trying to get a baby, get pregnant for a long time. And so she is, she does want to milk it. And I get it because that's what Lindsay does. And so for Danielle, who knows Lindsay so well, to think that Lindsay might actually be doing this from a place of passive aggression, I think it's actually pretty shitty of Danielle. She knows she's not, it's not from a place of passive aggression. It's from a place of

wanting a huge amount of attention. That's it. Well, Lindsay's not passive aggressive anyway. She's just straight up aggressive. So I don't think you should ever accuse her of passive aggression. You know, she doesn't care. And if Carl doesn't like it, go home, Carl. Okay. So, and you know, Carl's actually pretty chill about this. I'm going to give credit to Carl. He was, he was, he was a sport.

I would say. He's still Carl. Yeah, he's still Carl this season. He's Carl 9.0. So as Lindsay's like, okay, well, here's how it works. If you think I'm having a boy, you're going to go see him in the blue team. If you think it's, and get a blue shirt. And then if you think I'm having a girl, you're going to stand by the girl's side, put on a pink shirt, and then there's going to be clues and treasure boxes. You're going to

follow the clues and then we're going to come back to the big box. You're going to find out what it is. And if you're wearing a blue shirt, but it's actually supposed to be pink, you'll put on a pink shirt. But if you're wearing a big shirt, it's supposed to be blue, you can put on a blue shirt. And then, then you'll know what the baby is. And then for dinner, we're going to have something that's going to be either blue or it's going to be pink, depending on what's in the box. Because again, the rules are you have to get into things. Okay, we get it like pink and blue. Just I vote that baby's going to be a taco. Now that would be special. So, West then says, because it's a scavenger hunt, she says these clues are going to be in little treasure boxes. West is like, is it riddles? No, they're just going to tell you where to go next. Of course, it's a scavenger hunt, you idiot.

Yeah. So they get their clues and they run around figuring out where Steph is. And Carl's like, Oh, yeah, I mean, it's a little weird. Yeah, sure. It's like a little weird, you know, but I'm just going to be happy and supportive because I'm Carl 9.0. And it's important for me to just be like in good spirits, you know, because like last summer, I did not have a fun time. And then we cut back to a scene from last summer where he's like, you started insulting me and they're telling me I'm literally doing drugs. I will not allow that.

I don't know. Why are you yelling? Why are you yelling? Maybe it can help me understand. I don't know. Oh, can I be upset? You're always allowed to be upset. Why am I not allowed to be upset? Well, why can't I be upset too? Like maybe I can understand if you lower your fucking nose. Take a fucking lap. Yeah, by the way, it's important for me to have vibes, guys. Good vibes. Good vibes, guys. Like, what am I going to do? Sit in the corner and go like, I don't want to be a part of this. Well, you just spent the last two years doing it. I don't know why it would be any different now. Have you seen the show recently? It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap

and commercial. Imagine this, you help your little brother land a great job abroad. But when he arrives, the job doesn't exist. Instead, he's trapped in a heavily guarded compound, forced to sit at a computer and scam innocent victims, all while armed guards stand by with shoot to kill orders. Scam Factory, the explosive new true crime podcast from Wondery, exposes a multi-billion dollar criminal empire operating in plain sight. Told through one family's harrowing account of sleepless nights,

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Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them

feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. In the 1980s, a rose swept the country. Hey Mike, I really like this white Zinfandel. Well good, good. Now put it down.

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But the closer the feds got to them, the more dangerous things became. It's a story of deceit, threats, and murder. What started with a scheme to mislabel wine spilled into a blood-soaked battle for succession. Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple podcasts, or Spotify. I have a big announcement guys. My coffee, I'm drinking cold brew today and I didn't want to

say anything, but my cold brew is pregnant and I want to do a gender reveal. If the straw is blue, it's the coffee is boy. If it's pink, it's a girl. Ladies and gentlemen, it's a girl. It's a girl. I've got a pink straw, everyone. Congratulations. Pete Slauson Congrats on your heteronormative coffee. Pete Neal My coffee already wants to dress like a princess because that's what society told my coffee to do. So we're just so happy for it.

So happy. What's that? I'm not really sure if it's a boy or a girl, but my baby definitely loves a little mermaid already. So who can say? Wait, what's that? You want to dress like Elsa for Halloween? Sure. Anything for Halloween? Sure.

Anything for you, Coffee. My baby, we just got a sonogram and my baby is wearing a poncho and a headband. My baby officially identifies as an art teacher. Okay? So we're just going to go with that. My art teacher's name? And just to, this is, just you saying that, it's so funny. Cause my art teacher in elementary school, her name was Pepper Crowfoot.

Pepper Crowfoot? Guess what, mine, well, my speech and debate teacher is not really art, but it was my art. It still is. And let me give you a speech to describe how much it meant to me. Her name was Norma Garrett, which is the same as Facts of Life. And I ended up moving in with her when I was kicked out when I was 15, when I came out of the closet. Look at how this is becoming a, I came out of the closet when I was 15 episode.

Guys, let's all pull out our wieners. Do you know what my speech and debate teacher's name was? Diane Von Furstenberg. Wow. Okay. what my speech and debate teacher's name was, Diane Von Furstenberg, wow, okay. She's like, okay, let me teach you how to give a speech. Rap dress. Here's what you do, you make your point,

then you say, that's a rap, and then you wink, and then you say, get it. It works every time. Thank you guest speaker, Diane Von Furstenberg, for coming into my class. That's not a true story. So, the first clue is go to the place Kyle likes to cry. Kyle's tears are like, God, they're omnipresent.

You could go anywhere and there should be a box because that man literally cries everywhere. But it's his car. So I guess they're like, it's your car, right? Another clue is when Lindsay needed a break last year, where did she go without any fear? The front gate, guys. The front gate. So they go to the front gate. And then the next one is they're still looking for places that Kyle cries because he cries everywhere. And then, um, and then they're realizing they have different clues. They're just like running all around. Here's another clue. Go to the place.

The bed bugs love to stay at their favorite spot every night, every day. And Amanda's like, my room, home of the bed bugs, Amanda's room. Yeah. Um, then let's see, they're running around the loop, looking for the next clue. And, um, room. Jared in the backyard. That's where they pee, right? But Kyle, I like that Kyle said, but I pee over the railing. Well, I guess I pee everywhere. So, you know, I pee the most. And if he's always so drunk when he does it, then it took the girls to find it, right? Pete Slauson Yeah, exactly. So, they find it and it turns out, okay, so, they get to the box and the pink team gets the box and they open up the box and it's pink. It's this pink balloons. It's going to be a little girl. Yay. Now everyone has to wear pinks at dinner. Oh, I should have worn

my pink shirt, Ronnie. I forgot again to wear my new pink shirt in honor of Lindsay's baby reveal. Pete Slauson I wore my light blue shirt because I'm team blue. Pete Slauson Well, I'm upset because I literally just made a pink shirt and it could have been thematically appropriate for this episode. We can press stop to put it on. No one's going to stop you. So she, you know, it's going to be a girl and they look deeper into the box and I go, my God, it's a box of condoms.

So that was nice. They look even deeper. They're like, wait a second. Is this a Marshalls commercial in here? Yeah. Wait, Marshalls is selling Plan B boxes now? What the hell? So, Amanda's like, oh my god, my tummy hurts from running Kyle. And there's a chef there. So, he's going to make them some dinner and stuff, which, you know, look, that's great. I would prefer to hire somebody to clean this shit up. That's a lot of people to clean up after.

If I'm gonna spend the money, I'm getting a maid. Yeah, yeah, I agree. So Kyle and Carl are talking outside and Kyle's like, so bro, was that weird for you? He's like, well, it was a little awkward, but I'm mostly happy for her. I was like, it was a good exercise. And it's just like, you know,

I'm just looking forward to some closure, honestly. I just like, you know, it was weird. I was like, didn't know how to even say anything because like I just didn't know. I like didn't want to make it weird. So like, ha, say, yeah, man, like, well, makes it a very clean next chapter. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, I'm not really involved in any of this. I just have one question.

Has Lindsay called her baby, cocaine baby yet? Because it was really rough. Trying to let it go. Trying to let it go. What was, what was Carl saying last episode or two episodes ago when he was like, he came up with an excuse for why he didn't say hi to Lindsay. He's like, oh, I'm just like, not sure if,

not sure if she's ready to hear from me or some bullshit like that. It was so ridiculous. if she's ready to hear from me." It's bullshit like that. It's so ridiculous. So they've checked in and now Carl is showing Carl his phone, he's like, can you believe this?

And we see the headline that says, Hannah Berner claims ad for Loverboy competitor led to summer house firing. Which is so silly because it's like, Hannah still hasn't watched that season. She's like, must have been the ad, must have been the ad. And Carl's like, yeah, it was going on a podcast talking shit about me and my business.

And she's saying publicly that I got her fired. I mean, what the fuck, man? Carl's like, oh yeah, that really sucks. That really sucks. He's like, yeah, because I value and put so much trust into my friendship with Paige. And I'm like, she's always played Switzerland Which I kind of respect but you know what at some point you got to choose, you know

I mean, it's fucking ridiculous like where do you stand in this, you know, are you the little hot chocolate bitch? Are you for watches? Switzerland fight Switzerland fight Like at some point are you like halls of medicine or a cola, right? So by the way, she literally does not have to choose. There's no reason why she has to choose right now. She's doing the most sane thing, which is navigating her relationship with one work colleague and another work colleague. And the other work colleague is she's closer with and arguably more successful with.

So the fact that she's being so nice to you is a privilege. I just say, stop being such a wuss. If you've got a problem with Hannah doing this, fucking call Hannah. Like, why are you such a wuss about it? Like, why do you need such a proxy to do it? Stop crying. I mean, listen, spoiler alert, Kyle spends the rest of the episode. He's crying more than half of this episode. Like, get the fuck over it. Grow up, brah, geez. I also guarantee-

I would still fuck your ankles now. Sorry, go ahead, Ben. Your ankles hot right now. I also am gonna wager to believe that that 95% of the viewing audience either was not aware of Hannah's interview or if they had read it, they were like, Oh, maybe interesting, interesting theory and moved on with their lives. They literally didn't care. Maybe there were some people who have,

maybe there's some like diehard giggly squad fans who have pestered Kyle, but like, you know, he's really blowing this. He's actually amplifying this theory by bringing it onto the show right now. Yeah. I'm going to sneeze. I'm going to sneeze out of protest. Protest sneeze. Oh yeah. I was going to try to do it off camera, but I couldn't touch the buttons quickly enough. I'm like, well, you know, I'm trying to give her leeway because like,

I know she can't control people on their life save, but like I was her, you know, like her friends going on podcasts, talking shit about me and my business. And like, I was just spiraling. I was like rage texting page, you know, I think I boiled over. I think I boiled over bro. Well, hopefully she's not mad at you because wow, Wednesday date, like on my, when I die on my gravestone, it's going to say here lies cocaine Carl, took me on a Wednesday date. Like, this shit haunts you forever. Okay. Y'all.

So, now Lindsay and Danielle are setting up dinner, and then, this is so cute. And then, Emeril is, he's just, he's asking about like, what to wear and everything, because he's like, we're not dressing in pink and blue anymore, right? And Lexi's like, yeah, because like, now we know, so now we're like, all dressing in pink and blue anymore, right? And Lexi's like, yeah, cause like now we know.

So now we're like all dressing in like pink. Hehehehe. So, and then West is sweaty. That's the update. And then Danielle and Lindsay are talking. Nothing new news. West is sweaty. Nothing new news, West is sweaty.

Lindsay's like, oh my God, can you imagine this channel's first birthday? It's gonna be like amazing. I can't imagine it and it's gonna be wild. It's gonna be a lot. Sounds fucking hellacious. I think that baby is gonna be chain smoking by the time it's first birthday.

It's gonna be like- One can only hope. Make me a pizza beach, We got some business to discuss. What about? All right. We got to talk about things over at Julan. So Hampton Social. So Wes doesn't have any food. So he goes straight to the food and just starts eating it in secret and like looking at the

cameras as he kind of chows it down. And Danielle and Lindsay are getting ready and being cute. And then Lindsay goes to the kitchen and Carl and Amanda are reading the phone. And Amanda's like, Lindsay, Turner texted you and Carl and I are both so nosy. We were like, reading it. And he's like, wow, wow, we just like lit up. So, are we saying his name or like, are we not saying his name, Lindsay? Like, are we allowed to say Turner? Turner? Did I do it wrong? Daniel says, yeah, are we allowed to say Turner?

Cause I was going to be like BDT, baby daddy Turner. Cause it's like, it's like saying Turner, that's like a funnier way of saying Turner. Anyway, club send it tonight guys. Meet you in the living room. God god damn yell how did they ever let you go so Lindsey's like oh my no it's kind of strange my ex fiance my ex-fiance is here and not my real fiance but like you know what I've never met anyone so Sorry. Sorry, things happen. It's a little burp. So anyway, now everyone's getting ready for dinner and West again is talking about how he hasn't eaten any food. He's still going back to that buffet table.

And then Danielle and Kyle and Emeril are in, they're all like gathering and Danielle's talking about how she loves everyone's outfits and stuff. And then Lindsay is like offering some champagne. She, she offers some champagne to, she says to Carl, by the way, there's some champagne there if you want. And he's like, oh really? Is it N.A.? N.A., not alcohol.

She's like, yeah. So, oh, right. Thank you. Thank you for being soft. Oh, that's a sweet moment. Yeah, thank you. That was like, yeah. So, all right. Thank you. Thank you for being soft. Yeah. Thank you. That was like the softest you've ever been. Thank you so much. Thanks for the champagne. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tender champagne. I need tender bubbles. Now we're both noggin. We're both in a, so we actually are kind of vibing right

now. Oh, no, no. Tiny bubbles, tiny bubbles. Shout out Don Ho, tiny bubbles. Shout out Hoku. So, you know, everyone's complimenting the decorations and stuff. There's so much pink stuff. And then there's some cheersing with Danielle and Emeril. Danielle totally wants Emeril. I don't care what anybody says. She's like, yeah, tell me more about it. Tell me more about it, Emeril. We, you're telling me the woman who hooked up with the balloon guy is now hot for some other random dude?

Yeah. Danielle wants the D. Yeah. Oh, Danielle. It's a strong, it's vibes guys. And he's like, hey, here's to a great weekend everybody. And she's like, yo, welcome to the house. Yo, we love sex swings here.

Don't we guys? Don't we? Don't we? God, it feels so good to be back. God, I can't believe that one week I was away from this house. It's just been, the world's changed. So now Daniel's talking to Jesse at the sink and she's like, oh, she's doing dishes or something. she's like, oh, she's doing dishes or something.

She's like, oh my God, touch your shoulders before. And I was like, oh my God, I guess I shouldn't do that. Because like before when we were outside, I mean, I just met Lexi and that's so awkward because like you guys were together, but like I'm touching her boyfriend. Like I want to be, you know, like I want to be respectful and everything, you know? Yeah, it was just like sort of weird because I felt bad when I touched her shoulder because I was like, I shouldn't touch a shoulder in front of someone who was here as part of a social studies project to learn what adults do. And then I realized, no, she's actually part of the house. So, it was weird. I shouldn't

have touched you in the first place. My bad. Jared Slauson He's like, well, yeah, but if that's not okay, then I'm like, seriously worried. And you know what? I'm not sure that it is okay. So listen, why is he already painting this girl out to be psycho? Now she's not really helping it with like being jealous after the first week and stuff, but he could have avoided all of this by just saying, okay, you don't want to have sex until we're dating, then let's just not have sex yet and take it slow. Like, what's the harm with just like getting to know someone? Is your penis really that? Like, I must be, you've already had

like three other girls on the line, so why couldn't you just say, okay, well then let's just kind of take it slow and not, you know, not bang yet. But also like, look, you know, jealousy is never an attractive trait. I'm not going to, what I'm about to say is not in support of jealousy, but why is it that you're allowed to love bomb and smother someone with affection and that's like actually okay. But then when she's like, when she gets jealous, that's not okay. The point is you guys are both like overdoing it and you both need to chill out and move on and relax and put those tongues to rest for a moment. I hope they break up quickly. Are they still together? I need to know.

Should I look at that? I hope not. I mean, they're sowing the seeds. The show is sowing the seeds for classic fuckboy behavior, which is like, whoa, like she's crazy. Like I think here's what it is. I guess what I was trying to articulate before is that like, oh, he's now going to paint her as almost a crazy.

Oh, she's so jealous. Wow. She's so jealous. Like how crazy she is. You're the one who love bombed her. You're the one who aggressively pursued this and like established a tone of like, we are like intensely in love right off the bat. And then you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look how crazy she's acting. She's acting like we're intensely in love. I do not stand for this. Pete I do not stand for this. Jared Take a stand. Pete Okay, so here's what I typed in. R-J-E-S-S, and then a bunch of things popped up that said, are Jesse and Lexi still together? That's the first Google result. You know what? I'm so proud

of us, America. You know? I know it looks like we're going down the drain right now in a lot of respects, but I still believe, I look at our search algorithms and I still believe them. Well, what was the first thing you typed in? You typed in R. A-R-E, the word R, and then J-E-S-S, and it popped up immediately. Oh my God, yeah. Same, are Jesse and Leslie still together?

There's also, are Jess and Harry still together? And are Jess and Sammy still together? Ooh, Jess and Sammy, ew, gross. Love Island reference. Oh, okay. Well, I'm not gonna look at it because I don't wanna be spoiled. Honestly, you can't be spoiled by two pieces of people

who are already spoiled themselves, just the curdled milk of people. Yeah. So let's see here. So Jesse's like, oh, this is very different from every other relationship, you know, because like, I'm rusty, you know? And she said she's jealous and I'm willing to change guys really, you know, but hopefully for the better of us.

I just don't want to change who I am and my character like for someone I just met. But why does your character have to be, you know, banging a ton of people? Now, as far as the flirting with the housemates and stuff, he should just say, that's my friendship. Right? What do you think? Jesse What character and what personality does Jesse actually have beyond smiling? Jared He makes up songs about himself. That's something. Jesse Yeah, and he so speaks like this a little bit.

That's like his personality. He smiles. So then everyone's gathering at the table at long last and Carl is like, okay, ho, loosen up, loosen up Carl. He's making jokes and Sierra's like, she's like, by the way, Carl, are you wearing white pants? Like, I am, but they're baggy as fuck. So they're like legit. It's weird. It's weird having like an extra centimeter. I don't know what to do with all this bag of space. It's like you could put an airplane in there or so much space. It's wild actually being here for us for a summer where my balls are actually producing sperm again. It's crazy.

There's a fabric that's not touching one millimeter of my calf and it's very strange. I practically ride a skateboard now. My pants are not elk. So then Lindsay is like, hi everyone. Hi everyone, okay everyone, everything this is like pink food. So like thank you for participating in my entertainment, which was watching you guys run around the house.

So guys, please enjoy my pink food. I did not actually see what they were eating, but what I want, pink food is pink, how do we feel about pink food? Because like, for instance, orange food tends to be delicious. Almost everything orange is great. And brown food too, brown food is really good,

even if it's ugly and green. But pink, what do we have in pink? Penny-alabot? Pete Slauson Well, they have crab legs. So those are pink. Pete Slauson Oh, that's good. Pete Slauson And they had some pasta with some cream sauce, like some red cream sauce. Pete Slauson That's good too. Pete Slauson And that's all I really noticed. But I mean,

I guess what are you going to have? Like some watermelon, you know, that's maybe a little bit over ripe? Or under ripe, I guess would be pink. Some sad watermelon. Jared Larkin I got everyone I guess it'd be pink. Some sad watermelon. I got everyone's sad watermelon in honor of pink. Worse, I think what would you do if it was blue? What would you do if it was a baby? What would you do if you had a boy? You're fucked. All right, everybody.

We're just having expired cheeses. It would be blue cheese. It'd be blue cheese and blueberry shit. And then I don't know where that gets you really. Some completely raw, you know, steak. Purple cauliflower maybe? Yeah, I don't know. You're just fucked at that point.

Just give up. So, do I thank you for participating in my gender thing? Um, it means so much to me. And so everybody's congratulating her, but it's a gender reveal and nobody here has any interest in this so it becomes super quiet so then carl's like okay well what are we gonna name her that's my question i think we should we should name her send it send it and page is like um lindsey are you gonna take my name a suggestion into consideration i think you should because um i have great taste.

And she's like, um, well, we actually have a name that we really like. And Paige is like, oh, really? We do better than Hortense. That was my choice. And she's like, yes, we do. And so Kyle's like, Paige, Paige, what was your name suggestion? Paige, Paige. Because, Dale.

And by the way, I support it if only to keep the memory of Tinsley Mortimer's mother on Bravo alive and well. That baby is going to come out and be like, feed me honey, not with that thing. Get me a bottle for Christ's sake. Now I know I'm a newborn, but I just want to say, mother, when you look at me, don't think about your expired youth because that went away a long time ago. So, let me, give me something you're not going to use. Any more eggs? How about that? Kyle knows that he's in trouble, right? Because Paige is ignoring him and won't answer him

and won't look at him and stuff. He has to really try to get that answer out. So he's starting to like, you know, his eyes get really wide and he starts doing his like internal freak out of like being confronted over things that happened when he was drunk. We've seen it for nine years now. So here he goes down his shame spiral. And now they're talking about, you know,

they're just making little small talk about Lexi and her family. Page is like, where'd you guys go to dinner last night? She goes, Pier 16. No, I know that's the age of your peer group, but where'd you go to dinner? Pier 16. So Jesse's like, well, he started with drinks and then we went back to her apartment, drank for probably four or five hours. And then we went to the club at like 2.30 and Kyle's like, you went to the club with their parents? This was all a parent's day?

And she's like, yeah. Yeah. Her mom put on jean shorts and a blazer and her dad was wearing all black. So it was, I already commented on her mom's post. You look hot as fuck. I want to slap your ankles with my wiener. Lexi got mad, but you know, it's something I'm working on. They're like, so wait, were they just down for the week?

And she's like, um, so my mom and my sister actually like work with me. And so like in the last year, they've just been here like more, like just because like I need them for like meetings and like selfies and stuff. And they're like, so do they have like their own apartment? No, they just stay with me. It's great. And Wes goes, just stay with me. It's great. And Wes goes, Oh, fuck yeah. It's literally like the other two. I don't know if you ever saw that show, but that's literally the setup of that entire show is this. So Lexi describes her family

situation. She goes, my relationship with my family is like definitely closer probably than like most people. Like we're all friends and like we're all like business partners and we're all like family. And like, I don't think I've ever really Partied without my mom my sister. So It's kind of like great like I Would run for me. I would run like hell this sounds like bloody We're gonna go out with my parents my mom's wearing short shorts in a blazer

with my parents. My mom's wearing short shorts and a pleaser. No, we're broken up. Okay, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I can't please. Here, just give your sister these before. Just give your sister these as a goodbye present makeup wipes. Okay. Thank you. I'm like club owners now my parents' names. And I'll literally be like rolling up with my parents and they're like, sleigh, sleigh. And like probably say every guy I've dated has met my parents like so casually because like obviously I'm always with them.

The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you. This girl needs an exorcism. This is awful. I hate everything about this. Look, I love my parents, I love my brother, I love my family, I love doing stuff with them. But like this whole thing where she's just like, she's like, guys, how awesome is my family? Like, that's what the vibe is that she's giving. And you just know, like, if you're going to have a friendship with her or like date her, you have to sort of be down with that whole family and like, no, no, no, no, saying no to all of this.

And, you know, and I know that people are close to their family, but this is too much, you know, and you know that anytime you do anything wrong, you're going to get the mom and the sister on your ass. And then later you're going to have to have the talk with the dad where he's like, you know what, champ? You disappointed us today. All right? Okay, buddy. All right, champ. So you think our- It's all very simple.

I'm talking about my little girl there, buddy. Okay? Yeah, I don't like it. People shouldn't live actual sitcom lives, and that's what this is. So Danielle, now we're back at dinner, and Danielle's like, so would you guys consider yourselves exclusive now that you met the parents, Jesse? And he's like, so would you guys consider yourselves exclusive

now that you met the parents, Jesse? And he's like, oh, Danielle, I mean, you're being so silly. I mean, I think it feels like we're both only like just pursuing each other, but like, we'll discuss and, you know, let you guys know how it goes, right? Amanda's like, oh, why don't you do it right now? Amanda's got her face full of crabs.

She's like chewing like this big crab. Like she's like, no, do it right now. No, I'm not even. But wait. So you guys, you guys, well, do it right now. Do it right now, you guys. But wait. Kyle Sivers Well, what's up with you guys, by the way? And Paige's like, Pages Well, you know, same old, same old. Why didn't you ask Kyle what's up? He's had a lot to say this week.

Kyle Sivers And you know when Paige gets mad, speaking of cartoons, because I was actually studying Paige's eyebrows yesterday because I was like, what's happening with her eyebrows? Why is one curved and then one's in a triangle? But then as the episode went on and my study continued, I realized they're actually both curved, but she has such an angular eyebrow that it will go completely angular. But mine does that. She's mad. So one was curved and then the other was completely in a triangle. And she was like,

Yeah, ask Kyle about it. He's had a lot to say this week. And Kyle's like, uh, so you're upset? Uh, she's like, yeah, yeah, Kyle. About, um, you rage texting me last week talking about Hannah and Craig? She starts getting her accent when she gets mad. She did get her accent. She did. She was, she really came out real strong.

And so, um, Paige is like, my best friend and my boyfriend. And Kyle's like, ah, because somehow you're in the, and guess what? Somehow you're in the middle of it all again. She's like, how am I in the middle? I said nothing, Kyle. Well, I was heard that your business partner is still out there lying about why she's no longer in the house. Okay? Then that's just what happens. She's like, well, it's two different experiences. You'll never agree. It doesn't matter because you guys aren't going to be friends. So it doesn't matter. Well, we all know that Kyle did not get Hannah fired. Hannah used to be part of our summers and I was really good friends with her and Paige, but unfortunately, Hannah and Kyle had a big

falling out, which in turn affected me. Kyle. And we see flashbacks of Kyle and Hannah fighting over garbage. What a fun time. So then Amanda is just basically saying that her worst nightmare would be if this affected her relationship with Paige. And Paige is like, I don't even care about the Hannah stuff. What I'm saying is that history is repeating itself again, but it's just a new player

and now it's Craig. And now you aren't going to be friends. And it's again, me and Amanda there to pick up the pieces and I'll be damned if I let what happened to Hannah and Amanda happen to me and Amanda. And I'll also be damned if you catch me wearing tight jeans. They're out right now, loose jeans. They're in. Oh, Kyle. He told you he was doing it and then he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym

and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym and he went back to the gym about my personal reputation and what Hannah Berger says. She's like, what was Craig supposed to do? You know, he went about it in the right way, Kyle. He told you he was doing it and then he did it. But he didn't say he was doing it. He said they approached and none of the things he said is true about me. And Kyle said that he thought he had an opportunity to talk to him about it in between.

And then he was like, I don't know. And then also it was claimed that he gave me a chance at calendar and he asked if he could have met some lover boy. And I said, just give me a second to come up with a proposal. And then Sierra's like, okay, well, I'll invest with you guys if you gave me the opportunity to. Yeah. Congratulations.

You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there suckers. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice and King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster.

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