Watch What Crappens - #2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

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Indeed.com slash wonder ECA. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, Indeed is all you need. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen. And ultimately you triumph in finding it again. Listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts. Hi everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was,

we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that we always get your episodes, but enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. So then, um, they're talking about who's coming to the party and Shamiah has invited Drew and Ralph, which is weird. And, uh, they're like, aren't, aren't they going through a divorce? She goes, I don't know. I mean, whatever. And so Britt's like, well, I heard at the real estate party, the real estate Oscars, I heard that Drew is dating Dennis. They're like, Dennis, Dennis, the hot dog Dennis. And she's like, well, they were working together, but you know, I heard that they were at the club holding hands. And Britt's like, I didn't hear that they were booed up. She goes, I don't really know Drew that well, but I heard some things about Drew and it's a mess.

Okay, word gets around in insurance circles. So Kelly then says that Dennis was in her DMs and they're like, what? Kelly's like, yeah, I posted a bathing suit photo and he was like, there's no way you've got four kids, OMG. And I'm like, oh, and they're like, Oh my God, Dennis. And like, did you respond? And she's like, no, of course I didn't respond. I mean, I sent him some free mimosa mix. Like you mean orange juice, mimosa mix.

But that's it. And Britt's like, nobody wants to see that hot dog. I went on one date with him back in the day and he came on the date and he brought me a diamond necklace as a gift. Um, are you sure this was like a date or was this like a date? Because that's crazy. He's like, I'd like to get this necklace and shirt. He's like, thank you so much for the gift. He's like, no, I want to know how much I can get it. I take up a policy on this necklace. For me, thank you so much. Because Britt, I think the thing that Kenya ends up accusing her of is like being a call girl

or something later, right? And she's saying like, Oh, I've even got these pictures of you with like dicks or something. And she puts them up at some party or something. Spoiler alert. So I guess that's the talk about Britt. So getting a diamond necklace on a first date is a little, so then Britt's like, yeah, he didn't get my tatas on the date because he didn't get my ta-tas on the date cause he didn't even know me,

but he did come bearing gifts. So Shemeel's like, so you were definitely the girl, that girl back in the day. She's like, yeah, I was like a little video vixen back in high school. Like I was a high school girl. She's like, no. She's like, yeah, I was in black men magazine.

All the magazines back then. Yeah, I was like in high school. And she says, like, nothing happened. There was like no spark, but you know, diamonds are a girl's best friend. So I definitely wasn't returning any gifts. So she kept her diamond necklace. But also, like, why is Dennis giving a diamond necklace

on a first date? That's a little weird. Yeah. So then, well, he was kind of like that with Portia right at the beginning. Where she was giving her really lavish gifts and stuff like that. Now, no one ever said whether they went and got this stuff, like, looked at by a jeweler, because that's kind of what I'm curious about. So then, Brits like, let's ask the best friends, yee-hee, and they all woo, like, we're best

friends, which, you know, is going to be destroyed by the end of the episode. So then we go to Portia and Shemeah, and they're like, we are crazy wild girls. Shemeah's like, I have a peach, we're going to a strip club. Yeah. So they go, and they're like, oh, whoa. And they're like, don't worry girls, we're gonna tip you. So Portia's like, wow, with my divorce being so public,

like, and so stressful, like I haven't been outside for like, for real. So like Shemeah's like such a great friend. And like, if she says that like my, that ass-slapping, shot, ass-slapping in shots is gonna make you feel better, then I'm gonna roll with her on this one. Yeah. And so Shemeah's like, well, have you talked to Simon?

Because he texted me this morning. He said, congratulations on the peach. Can't wait to see you and Gerald in that beautiful Buckhead mansion. And I said, thanks, bro. It was supposed to be all of us. And she's like, yeah, he has more things to be concerned about than a peach. Hmm. So she was like, I just feel like he's chasing that, like, like he's chasing anything that's attached to you. He's been in the box every single day. And Portia was like,

yeah, every little thing, everything, his posting, his constant attacks, him taking, talking to all my friends, him lying. He's a nightmare. You definitely shouldn't have called him bro because he's not a bro. So she was like, okay, he's not he's Simon. That's who he is. So she was like, well, but the girls brought it up here last night. They were, she's like, well, what girls just, oh yeah, we recast the show. There's new people on the show. So Kelly and Brittany, you know, Kelly, um, who does waffles and Brittany who does insurance. Yeah. So, um, they were like, why did Kelly was like, why did she take that lady's man? Yeah. I was like, that's her energy. Come on. And she's like, oh my gosh, now everyone's smearing my name already. I mean, you can just be like everyone else. Like, I don't mind. Be

black too. I don't care. So they're having this serious conversation. Meanwhile, there's this lady behind them clapping her ass cheeks. I can't even call it clapping her ass. I don't know what the fuck were going on with these ass cheeks. Were they robot ass cheeks? One was like doing the wax on wax off.

One was doing the paint on paint off. One was like rubbing the belly. One was like patting the head. That was the most talented pair of cheeks I've ever seen in my life. I don't even know how anyone paid attention to this scene. Yeah, well, you know, I feel like in Atlanta, like the stripper arts are really elevated.

Like that's, you know, like, like Florence is like the home of the Renaissance in Atlanta. Like that's where our like stripper Renaissance painters are. They just know how to do it so well down there. Yeah, they really do. Remember when we how to do it so well down there. Yeah, they really do. Remember when we went to swinging dicks, what a night. Oh, yeah, of course.

Swinging Richards, I mean. Swinging Richards, I mean, that was. It swung too hard, swung too close to the sun. It knocked itself in the face with its own dong so many times, it just plumb knocked itself out. Yeah, I will never, ever forget what happened there. It was a wild place. Pete Slauson So… Pete Slauson And we ran into Crappen's listeners there too. That was the best part.

Jared Slauson Yeah, that was fun. So, Shemeah is like, you know, but then they asked me about Drew and because I had heard about Dennis and Drew hanging out, you know, and I heard they were at a club and she goes, yeah, for her birthday, right? Wait a minute, another night with my jaw, my jaw's on the floor. Yeah, so then she's like, Portia's like saying, wait, where am I? I got lost in my notes here.

So basically- Maybe all that swing Richard's got me disoriented. I know, but you really are going back into that. No, I actually I got lost in my notes here. So basically, you should- Maybe all that swing Richard's got me disoriented. I know, but you really are going back into that. No, I actually got truly lost in my notes. Okay, Ben, it's your turn a supportive friend. And then we see, I don't think we saw this back in the day, but at the last reunion when Portia wasn't in the season, Drew is in the makeup chair calling Portia for advice, which I thought was really funny. So she's like, what you're not going to do is let him take you because you're the only one

who's been so vulnerable and open and let them spread out the issues. You got this. And Drew's like, see, that's all I need. Multiple people are blushing her. She's like, that's all I need. She's like, Portia, friends forever, friends forever. So Portia tells us, I mean, even, she's like, even right now, Drew's an influencer for my company Go Naked Hair.

But all this behind the scenes bullshit, sneakinginking around with my child's father to me. That's just crossing the line. Yeah. But are you going to call yourself a friend of Drew's when you make her look like that? In these ads, we see a shot of Drew with this go naked hair. You might as well go naked. What the hell is she wearing? Oh, my God. Poor thing. So now we see everyone getting ready for the party

and we're at Brett's. I've been on Tubi. Can I get something a little higher class than this? She's like, I just hope I can make the big jump from Tubi to Mubi. Cause I think there's Tubi and Mubi, right? Tubi is where Jerusalem is, and M and movie is where Demi Moore is. And I'm not even joking.

So then we see everybody getting ready for the party and Brits talking to her husband Michael and he seems very sour, which I like. And he's like, you know, everybody's going to be drinking. She's like, well, I'm not going to drink too much because, you know, I can be extra. And let's face it, it's not just my reputation here, it's insurance's reputation. So don't worry about me. It'll be just fine. Yeah, I have to be like a good neighbor. So then we go to Shamia and her mom, and there's, well, the mom's saying,

you are Jesus's favorite daughter and you can get a direct call to him and I need you to tell him. And then she, well, I guess Shamia sang this, sorry, to her mom and she starts singing, rain, rain, go away, come again, another day. I'm like, wow, it's probably a lot to live in Shamia's house. It probably

takes a lot of patience. And I thought, oh, that's cute. And then it just kept going and going. She's like, leaning against the doorway singing. I mean, listen, Bueller has to put up with that shit all the time. But she's like, I wasn't a, I wasn't a biopic about TLC. So with that, we can't further ado. I don't need no rain. Rain is the weather I can't get no rain with me. Hanging on the passenger side of my best friend's cloud, trying to rain on my party.

Like, okay, Shemia. I'm sorry. I apologize to our audience. That was, no one needed to hear that. No one needed to hear an attempt to do no scrubs with rain when I didn't remember half the lyrics. I apologize. That was a bridge too far.

Bridge too far. No rubber dub dubs, no man in no tubs. So now Portia is FaceTiming with Cynthia and Cynthia is doing that thing like talking to your mom. Either your mom has the phone on the ground and you're like, mom, I can't see your face. Or she's got it like this. Or she's like, hi honey.

Mom, I can see your nose hairs. I can see your pores. So, she's like, why are you so close? So Cynthia's like, hi, so I heard everything about you and Simon. And I was like, you know, you and I fall fast. That's what we do. Even though there may be red flags everywhere, if there's one thing that we love, we love

going to an amusement park and our favorite amusement park is Six Flags. So red, bring on the red flags. And first of all, you fall in, we fall fast with both feet. And I love when people say that. That's how they try to excuse their terrible judgment. They're like, you know, what can we say? We fall in love fast, we fall hard, we fall fast, we dive in with both feet.

That's just the type of people we are. It's called bad judgment. It's bad, you have bad judgment. You can try to make it sound romantic as you want. It's called bad judgment. Get some perspective, look at your life choices and make some changes. Well, or at least stop jumping a feet or head first

into pools that don't have water in them. You know what I mean? Make sure there's water in the pool. It's like driving through a stop sign and crashing and T-boning in a car and saying, well, you know, I just love driving. I just love diving in. I see an intersection, I just wanna dive into it.

It's like, no, there was a sign that said stop. Look at it, Look at the signs. So then Cynthia's like, well, I'm really sad. I didn't get to go to Nigeria while you were with Simon because I really wanted to go to Nigeria. And Portia's like, I can still go there. I'm Nigerian. I found out. I found out my 44%. So look, I've got one of my sisters right here doing my makeup. Where are you? What's your tribe?" And she's like, your Ruba. She goes, yeah, your Ruba. We're the same. I'm your sister. I used to be, I used to be her wife. So Cynthia's like, so have you heard from Drew? Because I think she's divorced now

too. What I'm trying to do is check in on everyone who's going through divorce and maybe one of you guys will say, hey, by the way, how are you going with your divorce from Jihill? But if you don't want to ask me, that's fine too. I'll just keep asking you guys about your divorces. So now they're talking about, you know, divorce basically. And Cynthia's like, wait, wait, wait. So you know, what the hell? What are you talking about with Dennis and Drew? They're not dating, right? And she's like,

yeah, Cynthia, please get further away from the camera. You're scaring my sister. Please, please move it away. So Cynthia's like, well, I just need you to catch me all the way up because now it seems like you're back outside and you know everything. She's like, I went back outside. She seems like, you're back outside and you know everything. She's like, I went back outside. Now I know too much. So then we go to party time. So Kelly is the first one to arrive. And Shemeah is like, listen, we need to have a talk.

You know, Portia is my best friend and you bringing her up at dinner and accusing her of cheating, you know, I didn't like that. That made me feel very uncomfortable. Kelly's like, I'm sorry. Well, I never would want to make you feel uncomfortable. I mean, you have an elevator in your home, so I'm going to be nice to you.

She goes, thank you. Thank you for honoring my elevator. Have you heard my rain song? It goes, rain, rain. No, I have heard it. Actually, you sang it to me on the phone on the way in. Okay, good. Well, I just-

Now we're all uncomfortable. Thank you. I just, I didn't want to seem disingenuous or like shady, but I have to let you know. I did tell Portia, I did tell Portia that you said that. And Kelly's like, well, clearly you did because she already filmed the blog. And then we see Portia's Amazon live, Amazon live where it all goes down and Portia's like, yeah, there's a new girl named Kelly and she apparently owns restaurants, stuff like that.

And like, I don't know her. I don't know. I don't know. Whatever. Who I don't she has waffles. Who cares? Yeah. She's like, I don't know about that girl. And by the way, I'm showing this wig from my go naked line. I'm sorry, the model couldn't show up. It's just on a trash can today. So hopefully you guys will find that attractive enough to buy it. So then Kelly is like, you know, look, I'm going through a divorce just like Portia and I know what it feels enough to buy it." So then Kelly is like, you know, look, I'm going through a divorce just like Portia and I know what it feels like to be cheated on. So that's where I was coming from.

Well, and also she says, I think I don't remember if I said, if I quoted Portia saying there's a girl named Kel, because then Kelly tells us, Portia, you definitely know the name because nobody calls me Kel. You better announce me as Kelly or the queen of waffles, honey. Queen of waffles. Those are your options. It's either Kelly or queen of waffles.

That's it. Oh my God. So it's like, I didn't know you were cheated on. Well, that makes me feel a little bit for you. It explains, you know what? Thank you for being so vulnerable. Okay, because that's what we do here as the glue. As the glue, let me just say, thank you so much for that.

And I want you guys to be good, but I don't wanna be in the middle of things, okay? And she's like, don't worry about it. I'm here to celebrate you, okay? I'll wait to go for Portia until the second she walks in. Can we hug? Okay, let's hug. I just don't wanna be in the middle, but also I'm go for Portia until the second she walks in. Can we hug? Okay, let's hug. I just don't wanna be in the middle,

but also I'm gonna tell Portia everything we just talked about right now. Okay, we're gonna have so much fun tonight. And once again, from the top, rain, rain, go away, come back another day. So then it's party time, and now there's like a violinist standing

on some kind of platform in the Foyer and playing the violin as people comes in. I love new money. What? I love new money They just new money is just the best. They're just like let's just put a violin player in the foyer. Yeah, why not? Sorry, I interrupted go on on. No, go ahead. I was just reading what was happening. So Cynthia comes in and she's like, Cynthia just sees a violin player and she just like looks at the wall.

She's like, there's a violin, there's a violin player here. I haven't seen that since the opening of Peter's Brue. And she's like, this house doesn't even have an address. It's just called sterling hall. Yeah. And the producer asked me where Gerald's money comes from. And she's like, well, he's an African king. So no, that's not true. He does HVAC. Some of the airports that you've walked through, my husband has built manufactured and installed the HVAC. So there you have it. I mean, I love this new Atlanta. Basically, you have

someone whose wealth comes from HVAC, someone who's an insurance agent, and someone who is the queen of waffles. Like, this is what we need. Well, and that's also real money, right? Like HVAC money. Well, first of all, not only is he a rich, he's a god, because there's nothing I need more than air conditioning. So I already love this man. We don't hear about this man the entire episode, but I already love him because I love AC. But also the real money comes from real jobs. Like Stephanie's husband on Dallas, that guy installed lockers, right? Didn't he put lockers in sports rooms? This guy does HVAC. Yeah. It's where the money is, real things.

this guy does HVAC, you know? It's where the money is, real things. I think the final season of Dallas was like a fundraise. They were doing like lockers for disadvantaged schools. So yeah, I mean, it is funny, because it's always the people who are like, well, he does some sort of finance or he manages this or that or has a portfolio. They're always the ones who, it's like the Simons, who are like,

oh, it turns out they had no money after all. But the people on these shows who are kind of doing practical things of just like building lockers or HVAC, like they're loaded. They're loaded and they just have tons and tons of money. So then we see the Oakleys. So Angela's like, I am married to NBA legend, Charles Oakley. Started with the Bulls, then the Knicks. We've

been married for eight years now. So catch that. And we see a flashback of their life. And they're playing horse or something. And she's like teasing him about his stats. And then she's like, yeah, you know, to some people he can come off direct. I was like, yes, an asshole husband. Thank God. No housewives recipe is complete without the addition of an asshole, old grumpy husband. Exactly. And she's like, he's definitely a straight shooter. And I can get what I want out of him

because I'm an alpha female. I can work my way around Charles. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. In the 1980s, a rose swept the country. Hey Mike, I really like this white Zinfandel. Well good, good. Now put it down, I'm going to try another one.

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and dangerous rescue attempts, Scam Factory reveals a brutal truth. The only way out is to scam their way out. Follow Scam Factory on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Scam Factory early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics.

I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to

and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. We're back to the party and Cynthia and Kelly meet

and Cynthia's just like, there's like a hot bartender. Cynthia's like, so just to be clear, you don't come with a drink, right? And the guy's like, no, no, no. He's like, ha ha ha. She's like, oh, I'm kidding. Would you marry me? Yes or no?

He's like, ma'am, why are you speaking so close to me? Sorry, I've been FaceTiming all day. So Cynthia's asking Kelly about herself and her kids and her son and oh my God, Cynthia's a tourist. She has an oldest daughter, Kelly's oldest daughter is a tourist and Cynthia's a tourist. And I'll know. She's like, oh my God, I drive one of those.

No, we find out they're actually both Pisces and they're like, oh my God, we're Pisces. And she's like, yeah, I thought you could pick up some Pisces energy. I know that we attract drama. And Kelly goes, no, we don't attract it. I think it finds us. That means you attract it.

Yeah. Do Pisces just have to correct you over things that aren't gonna be correct in the first place? That's like Dumb and Dumber when it's like, what time do you want to meet? And she's like, how about a quarter to seven? He's like, what about 6.45? So also, you know, Cynthia Bailey, when I think of Cynthia Bailey, I just think of someone who is always attracting drama. So Kelly's like, she's like, yeah, I had to have a little uncomfortable conversation

with Shemeer earlier, you know, just a little bit, just about Portia. And I'm like, well, why did she steal that lady's husband? And Cynthia's like, oh my Lord Jesus. She's like, oh no. Cynthia knows what's going on. She's like, well, damn, if coming in hot was a person, it would be Miss Kelly or Drew,

which is why I'm wearing Drew's John and Kate Plus 8 wig from the TLC Viya in this confessional. Drew comes in hot, but only because she's wearing hot sauce per Dennis' orders. He says it's gonna advance her musical career. We don't understand it, but we're just gonna go with it.

So, Port Porsche's like, so Porsche's like, yeah, she's never shy. And Kelly's like, good, neither am I. I'm sorry, Cynthia says that. So then more people arrive and then Kelly's talking to some of the ladies and she goes, so I hope y'all see that Shamia has my cookbook in the kitchen.

Okay, I'm going to have to get all my girls my cookbooks. And we see her cookbook, which is called Cooking with Kelly, but it's spelled Cooking with a K, so it's like kooky, like. Kooky. Kooky with Kelly. Oh God, I have to look this up.

Cooking with Kelly. Kooky with Kelly. Kooky with. It's kooky. Kooky with Kelly. Is it really with a K? It cannot be with a K. Well, I could. It is with a K. It's cooking. Cooking with Kelly. So then Angela's like, well I could. What is it?

Oh no. This poor girl. Okay, on Amazon, it has 13 reviews. Oh, so I guess it's new. It's out of print limited availability. Oh. It has 3.8 stars. Oh, that's not very good. Let's read the rating. Let's read the reviews. Shrimp

and grits, they love that. And then there's only, wait, how many reviews are there? I think there's only two reviews. Let me see. So the first one is from Miami charger and it says, I love this cookbook and I highly recommend it. Shrimp and grits. And then another person says one star, very few recipes. And they're both from 2019. Well, maybe it'll take off now that the show's here. And it's also a collection with a K. Cooking with Kelly, a K election of family recipes from Nana's chicken. I'm surprised you didn't call it canna's. Canna's chicken and coffles. I think that my confusion about Chloe and all the CH names makes sense because like

you're doing a K thing with the book, but then you switched over to CH with your children. So like what happened? What went wrong? So now Angela is saying that she doesn't really cook and thank God because her husband doesn't like her cooking anyway. So then Drew comes in and like a Patsy from AbFab wig, I'm not really sure what she's doing with this. So she comes in and she knows Kelly through my social media manager. He brought me some of her chicken and waffles

and she makes very good waffles. So I basically got some free waffles. That's how I know this lady. And then Angela says, Drew and I share the same hairstylist. We actually spoke for the first time maybe three years ago. I like her personality. She's chill. She's from Chicago, but she did not play on the bulls like my husband Charles Oakley did. Sorry. So then we see them FaceTiming, a flashback of Drew being like, I'm going through so much over here. Oh gosh, we'll lean on each other, right?

We're both shy town girls. And Angela's like, I'm here for you. Now, who do I have to beat up? Who, who? Who do I have to beat up? We're going to be such good friends on this show. No, Angela's gonna hate this girl. I can tell you that right now.

You can't even drop her so quickly. They barely know each other. You know that they barely know each other. They met once briefly through a messy hairstylist. So, and I say messy only because every staff member that Drew has brought onto the show has been incredibly messy. So, Cynthia's talking to Drew and she's like,

oh Drew, we gotta catch up. I haven't seen you since you and Ralph, uh, got divorced. If you want to ask me about me and Mike, I'm happy to give you some information about that too. Just like, I know we have so much to catch up on. Um, but like, I don't have so many answers. So then Brittany is like, so are you guys publicly dating? Is he publicly dating or you publicly dating? What's going on? And Drew's like, girl, I mean, I have people that are showing interest, but I just, I feel like I have to put a lot, I have to put a dot and a period on the situation because it's a lot going on. So then this is where Angela's like, oh my God, my wig, the glue, the glue, the glue

is being melted in this heat. I can't. Charles, is my hair okay? And he's like, go to the bathroom. Charles, it's okay, right? Go to the bathroom and fix yourself. He's like, don't just go, just go, just do it. So Angela's like, today I thought I was being cute. However, it was so hot. So I'm trying to use the fan to stop the wig from running and my forehead, oh, that wig, that wig is just leaving. Yeah. Can't do it. My forehead, oh, that wig, that wig is just leaving. Yeah. Can't do it. So then all the ladies are in white, it's a white party, right? So they're like, where's Shamia, where's Shamia?

And where's Portia? Why isn't Portia still here? And then we see 6.15 PM, Portia's still getting her hair and makeup done. And so now Kenya's here. So they start talking with Kenya and Kenya's still not divorced. And Britt's like, wow, five of you

are going through a divorce? Wow, you're going through a divorce. You're going through a divorce. God, you're like mini bands on an Oprah show. Jesus Christ. And Kenya's like, oh yeah, Britt. And you're married? Oh, because you don't have your other ring.

Are you married or are you engaged? And Britt's like, I'm married. That's my second wedding ring. That's the second one. And it's kind of like, Oh, from a different guy or can you just like, can you so good at being just like, just poke it. She just finds the trigger area so quickly and she's able to poke it and like immediately there's tension between these two. Yeah, was I the only one who didn't think this was so bad? Because she said this is my second wedding ring and everybody's like been married multiple times or a lot of these people. So I didn't think it was that weird. And she's like, oh, from a different guy. And she's like, no, one husband, one man. She goes, no, I didn't know if you were married

before. She goes, well, no, this is the upgrade. This is the anniversary ring. And she's like, oh, an anniversary of the first ring. Well, because what Kenya picks up on right away is that, is that Brit is when she's like, oh my God, like everyone's going through a divorce, kind of doing that thing. Like, and I'm the one who's still married. She's kind of doing the Kristen Tachman on girls trip thing. And Kenya does not like that. Kenya picks up on it. So now she's gonna kind of like neg her ring a little bit

and then neg the relationship. And it works. I mean, she totally gets under this girl's skin. And it's just what Kenya is so good at. Like comes so easily for her and so effortlessly. Yeah, and it's also so obnoxious when someone's like newly married, comparing themselves to people who have been divorced after like 10 to 15 years, you know?

Yeah. Annoying. So she goes, well, Kelly's like, well, listening to Kenya's comment, I mean, that's a necessary shade, you know? And I don't think you should be able to speak on anybody's ring if you don't have one. Oh, please. That's not true. I don't like that. I don't like qualifying judgment. I

can judge whoever I want. People speak on people's rings. Yeah, exactly. So Brittany is saying that she was her husband's insurance agent. That's where they met. And so Kenya's like, well, she's like, oh, so you're more than a good neighbor. And she's like, yeah, well, he found out he was in good hands and he hasn't left my side since. So then Angela comes back and her hair looks totally different, you know. Knows what she's done to it.

And she's like, yep, the glue's gone. Gotta upgrade the glue. So she goes, I just had to freshen up, guys. I just had to freshen up. So she's got like tape. She's got like gift tape from the junk drawer around her head. She looks like she just had a head injury.

It's like, it's like shiny duct tape. They're like, is that what the pillowcase is from the couch tied around her head? Nope. Are you wearing a plastic bag? So, so Shamiah comes out. So of course she's wearing blue. Cause it wearing a plastic bag. So Shamia comes out. So of course she's wearing blue. Cause it's that thing you make all the guests wear one thing

but then you show like everyone's forced to wear white and everyone's like, ugh, have to wear white. But then she gets to wear blue. So she does a speech and like, she was like, I can twerk, I can twerk. Pong pong, rain rain go away. So she's like, it just feels so good to have all my friends from all my walks of life under one roof. And by under one roof, I mean outside where there's no roof. But

I'm a little bit nervous about bringing all these friendships together. Can't we all just hang out, turn up for my birthday? Where's Portia? Where's Portia? Where's Portia? So she comes down and Britt and Kelly are talking and they're like, well, Kenya was a little standoffish. And Brittany's like, yeah, she was like, where's your wedding band? And I'm like, sweetheart, if all you need to know is I'm married and you're going through a divorce, but I'm married.

Oh, that's bad. You should never shame somebody for being divorced because it's gonna happen to you. And don't say it on camera. Yeah, this will be used against you. This will be used against you. This will be a black and white flashback. And why is it? Yeah, she's like, look at this rock.

Never put so much of your pride, don't base all of your pride on getting a diamond from a man. That's just so sad. I'm not saying you shouldn't be happy about it, but having your whole personality like, well, look at my ring that I got from some man. No, that's sad. We don't care about the rocks that you got.

So then Britt says, I'm the youngest of three girls. I've got State Farm, State Farm from the block. Yeah, I got Flow from the block. So Britt is like, I'm the youngest of three girls and my sisters are hard on me and they're like tough on me. So if you come to me being a hater, like trying to try me or like size me up, I pick up all that very quickly.

Like, oh, so when Kenya Moore says something to you and it's shady, you pick up on it? Wow, what an instinct you have. You're like a Doppler, just crazy. So then Shemia is sitting with the ladies and someone comes over and they're like, oh, I have a surprise for you outside. So we know it's going to be the obligatory new housewife gets a brand new car to prove

that she's really rich for the housewives audience. I would like a non-car surprise to be outside for one of these parties. Cause like you said, it's every single time someone's inside and they say there's a surprise for you outside. It's a new recycling bin that doesn't they say there's a surprise for you outside Recycling bin that doesn't smell like cottage cheese from 13 years ago When you put in an order for a new trash bin from the city it takes three years for them to give it to you But we got you one ahead of schedule Congratulations. Oh my gosh. So

She got a colon in is that he? I'm too poor to pronounce it. I can't pronounce. Rolls Royce. Yeah. It's a Rolls Royce. Kieran Colkin for $430,000. It's a Rolls Royce. Hey, who knew it would end up being better than McCauley. I was like calling them. So she got an Andrew Kanan in Rolls Royce and Angela is like, $430,000.

Wow. Well, talk about needing insurance. So Angela says, my husband, I'm punching him. Like, I hope you're looking because these are the type of gifts that I want, you know? She's like, and you're an NBA player, so you better get this for me. So Cynthia is like, if I had, if I, if I had these kinds of birthday presents, I might have tried to make my marriages work. Like, yeah, I can really see Mike and Peter being able to pay for these things.

Yeah. She was like, Peter just gave me a half drunk cold cup of coffee on my birthday. Pete Slauson Peter said he was going to get me rolls for my birthday and fortunately it was just a bag of Hawaiian rolls. It was exciting for a moment. Jared Slauson So, Shamia's doing like the, oh my god, it's a car everybody, I got a car. And they're like, oh my god, Shamia got a car. She's like, look at my car everybody. And then Shamia, she me I mean Porsche walks right up behind her it's like Shamiya it's me I'm here finally and she's like um I am accepting my car it's me look at me it's me reacting to Shamiya

getting a car yeah this was shitty because first of all she shows up two hours late and then at the moment when this is Shamiah She is like she is an actress. This is her moment She is the center everyone is looking at her and then Portia comes up and is like standing on stage with her essentially sort of Shamelessly and unapologetically not only being there late but sort of like taking up that moment where now Shamiah has to like Shamiah can't be like waving at the crowds and doing her whole bit about being like,

oh my God, it's a car. She has to like tend to Porsche. And it's not a great look on Porsche's part by the way. She just tells her, you're a little late. And then she continues trying to be happy, but she's pissed. And she tells us, listen, you know, let's be clear. I'm a fan of letting everybody's light shine.

However, in this moment, to the left. Yeah, and Kelly's kind of like, if it were me, I would have just like snuck in and hidden the crowd and been like, I was here all this time. So now, Portia's helping me upstairs doing a wardrobe change and Portia's like, I'm so sorry. I'm late girl she's like well, there's nothing I can do about it, so You know, I'm just just a just a tube of Elmer's glue and I guess you're the construction paper

She's like, yeah, you look gorgeous. Yeah, she's clearly pissed and then she's like, you know She knows my intentions is always to be there for her But you know when you have a party at that time, the traffic's insane. You also live in Buckhead. That used to be Porsche's excuse when she would go anywhere else because she's like, but I live in Buckhead now. But Shemeah also lives in Buckhead. I don't think you have the same excuse.

But Porsche has been late to every single thing that she's ever like showing up to on this show. So like, at a certain point, you So at a certain point, it's one thing if you're 10 minutes late, but to be two hours late and be like, oh man, you were doing makeup, we saw you, okay? Yeah, I thought that would be one thing that production would make Portia promise.

If we're gonna bring you back to the show, you cannot make us wait for four hours for shit, Portia. Because there were times where Portia was four or five hours late to stuff. The shooting would be over, you know? And then she'd show up and try and start a fight just to get her paycheck in. And it's like, no, come to work. But that being said, let's not act like the producers did not happily schedule the timing

of this to be just like this, because they know it's going to create friction between these friends. I mean, this is how it happens. So Cynthia and Kenya meanwhile are catching up and Cynthia is saying, well, apparently Shemea went out with Kelly and Britt and Kelly apparently made a comment like, you know, what's going on with people stealing people's men? And Kenya's like, ha ha ha, hide your husband, hide your wife. Cynthia's like, I don't get it. What is that? She's like, well, long story short, Kel was upset that Shamia went back into a Porsche with a disgust child. And Kenny is like, Oh my God. So why was Kelly upset? And she goes,

well, I don't know. I don't think it's a thing, but in this circle of young, fresh people, it can become a thing, can become a thing. And she's like, Oh my God, a little thing can become a big thing. Okay, let's go do it. So she walks right over to the group and she's like, so, oh, and Britt starts with her first. She's like, Kenya, can I get a hug? Because I saw how you greeted me.

She goes, how did I greet you? Did I hug anybody though? Did I hug anybody? Yeah, because that's the other thing is that when Kenya came in, she hugged all, like lots of people, but she did not hug Britt. And so Kenya is like, well, I mean, I hugged Cynthia. I mean, Cynthia is my best friend and like, you're over here causing trouble already. And she's like, we're causing trouble. What am I mayhem? Get it? Ma'am commercials insurance.

Okay. Um, so I talked to like, so I talked to my friend, like, what's the big deal? And she's like, you talk to who? She's like, Cynthia. Okay. So listen, what were you upset about with Shamiah taking information? You know? And so Kelly is like, well, you know, we had dinner the other night and like me, Shamiah and Brit, you know, and I was like, well, why did Portia take that man's

husband? Can you just crack subs like, okay, Kelly. And Britt's like, can we not acknowledge the elephant in the room? Okay. And that was the elephant in the room. And Portia is right there. She's like, oh, hi, Portia. Hi.

And they're like, hi, Portia. And so Portia comes in and says hello to everybody. And Kelly's like, okay, so my question was, why did she take that woman's husband? And Portia's like, oh my God, that's your opening line? Wow. What's your name again? And she's like, um, my name, let me give you a hint. I have a cookbook starting with the word K. Chris Tiegen? No. So Portia's like, um, this is my first time meeting you,

so anything else you wanna know besides that? Because like, who are you, where are you from? She was, so Kelly's like, I'm just asking a simple question. And I have to say, I did like how Kelly did not shy away from the fact that she was shady the night before and she was not afraid to go up against like, one of the biggest stars to come out of the show.

And she just was like, yeah, I just asked, why'd you take that guys? Why'd you take that woman's husband? And, um, I think it caught Portia off guard. I don't think Portia was expecting that. So Britt's like, Oh my God. I'm like, Oh my God. Okay, look, Kelly can be spicy, but that's my girl. And Angela's like, Oh, I know she's joking, right?

I mean, you're joking, but she was dead serious. And Kelly's like, yeah, but you didn't answer my question. And Portia's like, Um, I don't want to talk to you. Answer the question. No, I don't even know you. She goes, You know me, you've spoken on me on Amazon live. And she goes, Um, I don't know you. And then she turns to Britt and she goes, Is that your friend? And she goes, That's my girl. And let me tell you, she's sweet. Okay. I think she just wanted to address the elephant in the room. I'm the type of person that says elephant in the room a lot. So if we could just address the elephant in the room,

that would be great. But she's like, I don't care anymore, it's okay. So Drew's like, well, I couldn't hear what you all were saying. Sort of like Ralph, when I called down to him from the first floor, he always says he can't hear me. So they go upstairs to a different, to a quieter spot.

I noticed that I have to give the kids a quarter to pass the basement door every time they go down there. So Kelly is like, I stand on business, waffle business. And the women who can't own what they're doing or saying is a joke to me. It's maple syrup without gold flakes in it. And I won't stand for it." And Forrest is like, This trick is weird. So, um, so now they're, they all take the elevator and a lot of elevator action this episode, like that's the ongoing theme, which is why you mentioned earlier that it should be a character because it's a lot of elevator scenes.

Yeah. So they go to the elevator because they have to move rooms because they can't fight. They're like, wow, this is a real party and we need to be able to fight. They're like in the kitchen. Yeah. So they go to the elevator because they have to move rooms because they can't fight. They're like, wow, this is a real party and we need to be able to fight. They're like in the kitchen. Yeah. Yeah. So they all, they all get, they all, they're all gathering in this new area. And so she was like, speaking of birthdays, I didn't get invited to your birthday, Drew. And Drew was like, oh, no one got invited to my birthday. And Portia was like, I got invited to your birthday. She's like, well, I mean, but you didn't come by the way. She's like, well, Dennis invited me to your birthday.

She's like, Kenya's like, wait, why is Dennis inviting someone else to your birthday? I was like, it was a surprise, you know? I just didn't know anything, but I did send my assistant everybody's numbers and we all know my assistant, he's very shady and he didn't invite anybody. So, unless she blames her assistant for everything.

She has the sloppiest assistant, I love it. I know, wait, you're gonna tell me, you told your assistant, invite these people to my birthday and your assistant didn't invite a single person to your birthday and you're like, chill with that? No, she's full of shit. What? No, this is a lie. It was a surprise, but I gave my assistant a list of people I

wanted to invite to my surprise. So, yes, which I guess he messed up on. So, but it was a huge party still of all my friends, except you guys. And so she's still full of it. In other words. So then Porsche is like, but Dennis, who's your assistant Dennis?

And she's like, just, she goes, well Drew, I would, I would be inauthentic if I didn't ask, are you dating Dennis now? Like, don't, don't do that. And that's where it ended. What? What? Wild.

What? A wild, wild, well it was a good episode. I really enjoyed it. That was, it was super fun. I am really excited. I'm hoping that the energy of this first episode A wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild,

wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild Being here, go to WatchWhatCrapins.com to get your tickets to come see us this weekend and you know, or later on in March or April or May and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. Watch What Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious.

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