Watch What Crappens - #276: Tongue-Tied and Manipulated

Episode Date: March 17, 2016

"Tour Group" is on hiatus, which means we have more time for "Beverly Hills" and "Vanderpump Rules." How much time? Well, we give RHOBH nearly 90 minutes of discussion. And we don't stop there. We have supersized Crappens Mailbag and "Vanderpump Rules" too. It's so fun. Here's the breakdown: 00:00:00 - Intro, including updates on "Tour Group." 00:12:08 - Crappens Mailbag! 00:41:41 - "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Is Lisa Vanderpump a manipulator? Did Rinna break off more than she could chew? And what's up with Eileen Davidson? 02:03:07 - CLEAR THE FLEM 02:07:04 - "Vanderpump Rules" season finale! Who DOES that? Support us at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Follow us at facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Visit us at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens? What happens? What happens?

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch and then talk about right here on this podcast, hence the podcast about Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from b-side blog.com and the banter blender which i vow to return it's my weekly vow to return the banter blender but not yet um uh welcome to the podcast uh joining me as always is the wonderful the hilarious the recently redecorated apartment d ronnie karen from trash talk tv.com nice oh my brain i don't i have my brain today i have recap line brain because i've been writing

this recap on beverly hills for trash talk tv and it's 30 pages long because this shit is crazy. So sorry, everybody. I wish I had a good excuse. Maybe I'll still just say that I'm continuing my Mexico hangover. Maybe I've got Mexico hangover brain. That's what I'm going to say. I think I'm finally through the worst of it

in terms of Mexico GI issues. But, you know, so today's my first day having coffee since then, and we'll see what happens. There may be some, like, very sudden interruptions in the podcast. Anyway, welcome to the show, everyone. Yeah, let's open with poop. This is not Real Housewives of Potomac Day, okay? I'm not talking poop.

I'm so sorry. You're right. That's for Giselle and her tea. So, everyone, please come to Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crappens because I'm so sorry. You're right. That's for Giselle and her tea. So everyone, please come to Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crappens because we have truly the best Facebook page on the internet. So many fun links go up there. Photos. We have a really fun photo of Lala up from the Vanderpump Rules season finale, which we'll be talking about in a little bit.

People post all sorts of crazy stuff. Great gossip. It's really, I think it's actually like a hub for all Bravo TV gossip. It's more so than the Bravo TV website. So, like that, if you like Bravo. Of course, you can support us on Patreon.com forward slash Watch What Crappens. Our supporters get access to a weekly bonus episode which is really cool this week we talked about mexico and spring break um and also oj the latest episode of oj and also and we had some political ranting towards the end there which

is always fun um also we have a monthly google hangout where uh basically we set up a hangout and and supporters can come online and we like get on there and we drink and chat and laugh um it's that's really fun our next one is happening on next thursday is that the 24th i believe so march 24th yeah yeah so I think so. So, you know, keep an eye out for that. And then, of course, that's also how you can contribute to the Krappens mailbag, which we'll be doing shortly. And, of course,

if you go to watchforkrappens.com, you can find all our social media links. There you go. Look at that. Did it. And done. And done. Now, I really hope i didn't bore you with all that information and put you to sleep because uh if i did put you to sleep we all know where you should be sleeping on a casper mattress of course casper casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced customers into paying notoriously high markups. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress

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Yeah, go get your Casper mattress, everyone. Use the code CRAPPINS And you will I swear to god You will be very happy with it Unless you got a crazy back What do you want to talk about first honey Well I want to Before we go into the mailbag

I want to mention something that I know is on everyone's mind It's a very pressing issue It's something that we actually really have to address on this podcast And I feel a little bad that we actually really have to address on this podcast and i feel a little bad that we haven't addressed it already um senegal herpes yeah no no this is serious rules this is actually serious okay uh tour group has been put on hiatus oh oh man you know people ain't watching that show when it's already in the can and it cost a zillion dollars to shoot and they're still not going to show it.

It's on hiatus until May 10th. We knew something was amiss when – well, Ronnie texted me yesterday and was like, I can't find tour group anyway. And I was like – I thought Ronnie was just being so – it's not online yet. How dare you? I was like, it's airing tonight, Ronnie. It's Tuesday. And he's like, no, I can't find it in the guide. To which I just didn't respond.

I was like, Ronnie's just being ridiculous. He'll figure it out. I love your non-responses. I'm like, whatever. They're like a cold hug. To be fair, I think I was going off to do something like packing a box. And also, you know, if you respond, I'll keep responding. Like, I never stop.

So then I go out to dinner, et cetera, et cetera. I come home. And I'm like, all right, let's watch Tour Group. It'll just be easy, easy watching. I'm like, there's no Tour Group. I was like, wait, maybe Rodney was right. And now I get concerned. That was hilarious.

Like, hours and hours later, you're like, oh, I see what you mean about Tour Group. I was like, yeah, by the way, my DVR didn't record it. You must be right. TVguide.com slash listings. So anyway, I went on the Bravo website. I saw it. It's not coming back until May 10th. And luckily, Michael Cook, our newsman, our resident Watcher Crabbins newsman,

had already posted a link saying the reason why tour group has been postponed, according to an insider, quote unquote, is the producers are retooling it. Apparently, the love triangle between that guy and the twins was reading is really fake and the producers didn't like it and they want to make um they want to make a bigger deal of the two vegas girls fighting so um you see those two idiots end up becoming the stars of the show that's what people want just put stupid people on a foreign land i mean we love them in our own land yeah now to be fair i was totally down for that that crazy love triangle because you know those twins were going to go at each other in a really nasty way so i was down for that but listen if they need to step away for a moment and gather their thoughts and bring us a revamped tour group i'm really okay with that well you can try but nothing makes people not want to watch a show more than when

the producers are like you know that seems fake so we're going to fake something else we need a month well it could have been it could have been worse, because if Bravo really didn't like it, they would have put it Fridays at like 11 p.m., which they've done with many a show. There was this one show that they had on called Chef Academy, I think, which was actually really good, and Bravo did not like it, and they put it on Tuesdays at 11 p.m.

So at least this show didn't get sent to the graveyard totally. But also, I think I texted you this, that I originally guessed that they were probably delaying it to pair it with the return of Below Deck Mediterranean or the premiere of that. And that's also something that they mentioned in the article, which makes more sense.

I don't know why they would pair this with Beverly Hills instead of Below Deck. Well, that's going to be a crazy-ass month. There's going to be a lot on. I'm telling know why they would pair this with Beverly Hills instead of Below Deck. Well, that's going to be a crazy-ass month. There's going to be a lot on. I'm telling you, when April hits, we have Shazza Sunset, we have Southern Charm,

Dallas. Is Dallas coming in April? I think so. I think it's like April 20th? April 10th? I don't know. You know my memory. It doesn't work. April something. We have New York City. Is that coming in May or is that April?

Oh, my Lord. New York, too. We have Below Deck. We have Below Deck. We have Tour Group. Technically, we have Thicker Than Water starting up soon, but I think we can skip that since we... Yeah, we both hate that. So, no.

So, we have... I can't watch a show with a preacher with a private plane. No, no, no, no, no, no. So things are going to happen. We have a lot of stuff about to drop on us. Bravo has, I guess they do it sort of like in thirds, right? They have things starting late October, November, and April, and then we'll probably get a bunch of stuff in June.

Yeah, it's going to be some busy times. But in the meantime, we've got some shit throwing going on on these shows. And it's so fun. This is like a weird point in all the seasons where they're all coming to a close. And it's been 20 hours each of these shows. And it's like, really? It's the same shit over? So now is the really good part because the boring hump is over.

And now they're all just like fighting for finale time, you know, and reunion time and they're bringing it out. And so it's so much fun. It's like a nice invigorating end run towards the next slew of crazy. Oh, yeah. No, it has been great. So while we won't be covering what's it called? A tour group today because it has been shoved off the schedule

that gives us more time for Crubbin's Mailbag let's see how far are we into how are we at like 11 minutes 12 minutes

somewhere like that you know doing the time markings for our post production I like 11 minutes 12 minutes somewhere like that you know doing the the time markings for our post-production oh i'll just say 12 minutes time steamed um so uh wow we have a lot of questions um so continuing on from our our mailbag let's see what did we what did we ask uh last week or on tuesday we talked about okay Okay, Catherine says, Catherine says, What the fuck was Tom Schwartz wearing at his engagement party? Does a long tunic candy necklace look a thing now?

I never know what these men on Vanderpump Rules are doing. I get that the world has changed to where women have become more manly and men have become more womanly, but, I mean, come on now. We need to be able to tell who's who. Like, these guys are walking around in girls' clothes from the 80s. Jax was wearing red capris. Yeah. have become more womanly but i mean come on now we need to be able to tell who's who like these guys are walking around in girls clothes from the 80s jax was wearing red capris yeah it was it was very like yoga chic i i felt like it was like an homage to the season finale series finale of mad

men well yoga is the only place he's going to be asked to touch his toes in that relationship uh katherine also adds, she says, you don't have to read this on the podcast, but of course I am going to. But she said, I just had the weirdest dream that you, she's talking to me, actually. She said,

I just had the weirdest dream that you and I were attending an Erika Jayne concert in a backwards church basement. Get out of my brain. Yeah, she knows I ain't going to be there. Even in her dreams, she knows I wouldn't go to that.

I'm so sorry for your nightmare backwards church basement the two of us at erica jane concert pat the bus pat the bus oh okay what else is me okay michael horn asks i'm curious to know what you guys think will happen on next season of orange county i know they started filming about a month ago with everyone returning except lizzie which should by the way be the name of lizzie's biography everyone returning except lizzie hey by the way did you know somebody posted the net worth of the housewives recently and lizzie is up there with lisa vanderpump they're both worth like 25 million dollars no lizzie made the top 10. She's tied with Bethany.

Oh, with Bethany. Lisa Vanderpump was at the top. I'm sorry. Bethany and Lizzie were like at 10 and 9. So that was pretty shocking. Oh, I thought they were both 25ers. Well, I'm meaning like rank number 10 or 9. Oh, I meant like in money. I think they're both worth like 25 mil each.

So we can make fun of those string bikinis all she wants. But that's how to marry, girl. You know, we make fun of Lizzie all the time for being kind of like the sad, pathetic one. That's sort of like running after everyone else and whose parties no one shows up to. But the truth is I actually always found that Lizzie was pretty smart. And I actually really liked her a lot. I think that she just doesn't have – she's just not housewives material. She's sort of borderline yeah i like that she's still a friend of because i love that lizzie shows up to every scene just

like she's always the first one at the party and she's like what are we eating and then she just gets a plate of food and watches people fight it's funny as shit yeah and then the producers usher out of there because you know how they do that now like for the past like two or three years on the housewives the housewives will be somewhere like at a store or somewhere and then like the clerk will be like i'm gonna leave you alone for a few minutes and then like the scene proceeds without like any outsiders that's what i've noticed they've done to lizzie lizzie's like okay guys i gotta go home now it's like 7 30 p.m she's like i gotta go she's like holding on to the door the producers are like yanking around bye she's got one of those suitcase rollers with a bunch of to-go containers on it

strapped onto it. Some glad wear. Anyway, so OC, it's a new housewife named Kelly, and Gina and Lynn are making a few cameos. Who do you think will be the first to make amends with Vicky?

What will Megan's next quest for hashtag justice be? Will Tamara's return to Satan party be the premiere or the finale party? And how many negative thoughts per day will Shannon have? David, David, David, David. Shannon's going to be at a solid 75 because now she can't be having negative thoughts

about David and Vicky. Vicky, Vicky. Shannon's in that precarious place. Shannon's entering season three where season one everybody loved her. Season two people loved her but then she had the righteous thing on her side because of Brooks' fake cancer.

So I think people were solidly with her but got sick of her talking about her marriage. So she followed that up by starting a marriage tour with David where they go lecture about bad marriages or some shit. Every holiday and banquet hall in the country. You get a tombstone and you get a tombstone and you get a tombstone. So the poster board industry is going crazy.

We're all making poster boards today of our relationships. relationships my prediction my prediction is that um shannon and david will be fine and i'll tell you why because now that shannon is feuding with vicky all her negative attention and all her fixation is going to go towards vicky and so this is going to take all the heat off of david i guarantee that's what will happen and there'll be a a lot of David and I are in a great place. You know, when I start to harp on him, he has learned to put in earplugs. That way he doesn't get mad. Well, I think they'll have that first half a season where they're really happy. But then I've noticed that when something that happens with couples on these shows is they don't realize what's happening until there's cameras there.

You know, she was like so used to just ignoring David for years. And then there were cameras there and she was like, wait a second, David, David. And she started like getting really pissy and then saw how they look. So now they're so hyper aware. And look, you can be as fake as you want on these fake ass shows, but no one can really do it. Their real personalities come in the end. And I think traveling around with her cheating ass husband talking about cheating over and over again, you know he's getting some pussy on the side. Yeah, exactly.

Nothing makes a man hornier than talking about cheating every five minutes. Absolutely. Yeah, because he's going to be going down memory lane about all those women on the beach he walks by. All the gash will come if they never complain about it. She's going to have a nervous breakdown. What are you looking at, David? David? David? David? David?

David? It's a dolphin. I think the first person to make amends with Vicky is going to be Heather. That's my prediction. Because Heather, I think of all the women who were wrapped up in it, I think Heather was the least angered. I think she was annoyed that Terry got pulled into the lie a little bit. anger. I mean, I think she was annoyed that, like, Terry got pulled into the lie a little bit. But Heather also loves an opportunity to sit down

with someone with champagne over lunch and to explain in a very condescending way where things went wrong. She's like, Vicky, I love you, okay? But we were just mad that you were defending Brooks, okay?

That's what we don't like. We'd like it when you can understand what we are saying about you. That's all. Claw hands, claw hands, claw hands. This wouldn't have been a problem. We are supportive of you. The problem is that you

told Brianna, who told me that you called my husband to come over for medical advice. My husband didn't do that. So there's where the problem lies. And Vicky will be like, well, let's just forget it. Let's just forget it.

You know, no big deal. It is a big deal because my husband is a doctor, and she's going to go on and make her hands, and then she's just going to turn off because she's a robot with no feelings and doesn't actually care. And so is Vicky, by the way. Well, you know, I mean, Vicky is like one of those inflatable things that you punch and it like knocks down

and then it comes back up again, you know? She, I mean, what do they have at the unsinkable Molly Brown? She is fine. I mean, Vicky has entered, it's like every other season, Vicky enters as like the persona non grata of the season. Do you remember, I mean, the famous Onion Rings party, that's when vicky showed up with a new face and everyone hated vicky because they had like a really rough reunion for whatever reason they all were hating vicky

probably because of brooks it's fine it'll be fine um you know the audience is really angry at vicky this week i mean we get so many messages and emails or tweets like how could you say like vicky she needs to be fired from the show needs to be fired from the show no no yeah that's like a whole movement yeah i i don't think she needs to be fired from the show. She needs to be fired from the show. No, no, no. Yeah, that's like a whole movement. Yeah, I don't think she needs to be fired. Listen, Vicky has a special place. There's more people voting for Vicky to get off, you know, get off scot-free than there are, like, people voting for the presidency this year. I say keep Vicky, even if she's being really annoying and ridiculous.

I mean, still, I mean, she is so entertaining. She's a compulsive, lying narcissist, megalomaniac nutcase. Perfect for the show so great yeah so great i think that the first person to forgive her by far is tamra because really evil idiots always come back together and those two need each other to further their point they're gonna make up and then they're gonna fight the rest of the season well if if tamra is a good christian she'll she'll forgive her i guess so we'll see how that'll go. No, it's not the human's job to forgive. It's Jesus's.

That's Jesus's duty, not Tamara's. She can forgive, but if she doesn't, she can apologize later. Now, if Jesus didn't forgive, that would be different. That's like changing a whole religion. Tamara's going to have to baptize herself five more times, because you know that sinning is going to be off the charts again.

I'm going to baptize my charts again um i'm gonna baptize my implants i forgot about them okay everybody come to my party again by the way it was really nice of lala to repurpose vicky's baptism dress for this week's vanderpump rules i'd like no kidding she's got vicky's white lace doily uh baptism dress and then that charo fucking hair that every evil woman brandy glanville erica every like one that they're trying to paint as a villain wears that damn charo hairpiece a lala 20 year old oh she's so sloppy okay so joseph has a really cool question he goes if you had to show someone who had never watched any of the Housewives shows one single episode from any franchise that encapsulates the essence of the series. Which would it be and why?

I would choose Real Houses at Beverly Hills, Dinner Party from Hell. Sorry if this is what you were going to choose. Smiley face. Don't have to apologize. That's a very good one, actually. That was the very first thing I thought of. I mean, the Dinner Party from Hell is, to me, that is kind of the quintessential one. I personally, if I weren't going to choose that one, my other contenders would probably be the season one series,

season one season finale of Beverly Hills. And I think Scary Island. I think Scary Island, the one with Bethany is like telling Kelly Ben Simone to go to her room. Yes. That one would be a great one to show. I think the season two of Miami, when Adriana slapped Joanna Krupa, would also be a great one.

I would say, I would probably, I'm not sure if this was the season finale But I think Beverly Hills The episode where they all went to New York I think that was the finale right They all go to New York to see Kelsey and LaKaja That was like around episode 4 or 5 But it was early

It was Yeah because that's when That's when the issue happened and they fought And it like went on for the whole season oh okay so then i'm maybe i'm thinking of a different new york trip i'm no no that's all together and then they fought in the restaurant yes and such a fucking liar camille that was season one wasn't it yeah that was season one and because that was like in the first oh yeah that started the whole fight yeah dinner party because's also the one, because it's a fight over nothing. It's like, someone

told me in the bathroom that you said something, and she's like, no I didn't. And then it became a fight for the whole year, and it's so stupid. That is so Beverly Hills, but it's also so Housewives. And isn't that the one, which is the episode where Camille showed up to Fraser's opening? Is that the same one where she was in a dress

and she's trying to be all sexy, even though he was about to dump her? It was so awkward i think that that is the perfect picture of what a housewife show is this dumb trophy wife hoe yeah trying to brag about her broadway husband when meanwhile he's like trying to shoo her off while he's fucking a stewardess that he's most likely already gotten pregnant yeah i think also a case could be made for the season finale of season one of jersey or even better like they have there's like an extended version of that like because that's the famous table flipping and people think oh the table flipping is so iconic but the truth is the entire dinner party leading up to the the the table

flipping was really great and bravo actually did a full episode that was just on the dinner party leading up to the table flipping was really great. And Bravo actually did a full episode that was just on the dinner party, not the stuff before the dinner party. And that is actually really worth watching too. And then you could also make a case for the season premiere of Jersey season three

when they started off with them just brawling. Oh, the christening you're supposed to pick one episode i know what i'm saying it's like these are these are all the nominees you're like an episode guide on the tv.com well because it's fun to also think back about these episodes because also jersey the only other one of jersey that i can think of that's really worthwhile was season two when there was a brawl at the Posh Fashion Show at the Brownstone. That's when Teresa to Danielle Staub

was like, I'm from Paterson, bitch, or whatever. Did you forget? I'm from Paterson. And then they fought, and then Ashley pulled Danielle's hair out. I mean, that was pretty amazing. Yeah, that was some gold right there, pulling the weave out.

And then she put the clump of the weave on Twitter. She's like, this is abuse. I feel like, I'm sure there was an episode of Atlanta that was that, it's like, you know what it is about Atlanta? Atlanta's sort of like at a consistent level crazy, but it's never Oh my god, Atlanta

had so many of them. I feel like Pajama Party was really crazy, but I don't know if that's There's so many I can't even think, I can't even isolate one. It feels too recent to call it a classic. Like, it's too early to be on TV land. It needs a couple more years to breathe, darling. I mean, the

first reunion of Atlanta was a game changer. That changed all the reunions after that. Before Atlanta, reunions were a pretty tame affair, but that first reunion, that was close your leg to married men. That was Kim talking about fake cancer. That was Lisa Wu Hartwell standing up and

wanting to fight Kim Zolciak. We just didn't see shit like that before the Atlanta reunion. The day that changed the housewives forever. I mean, there are so many good ones. Now that I think about it.

The first episode I ever saw, I think was season one of Orange County. And Vicky saying, I've said this a million times, but I just will never forget it. Vicky going to the car wash with her kids and going, that's what you do in Orange County. You go to the car wash. You got to have a clean car. I mean, to me, encapsulates pretty much, that one little scene encapsulates this stupid fucking genre of shows.

It's all about your car wash in Orange County, says the woman from Wisconsin or whatever. Get out of here. You know, I think this is actually a great question and I think we should open it up to the Facebook people. All the people all the people

on the Facebook our listeners on Facebook I would love to have people weigh in leave a comment on our podcast episode post

about what you think was like the one episode that someone should watch they've never seen The Housewives that encapsulates

the entire essence of the franchise I would love to hear what people think, because it's also really fun to think back on these episodes. What's up next? Okay, Sammy Suleiman. Sammy, I hope we say your name right. Suleiman?

Suleiman. Like the Supreme Court Justice. But it's S-U-L-E-I. Never mind. Who's Suleiman Nadia Suleiman is that the woman who cut off

her husband's penis no is that the mom of like 20 children the one who was like I know who you're talking about oh no she's Octomom

Octomom yes Octomom see now you'll always remember you're welcome Suleiman different spelling so

Sammy asks would your favorite house husband use Scruff, Grinder, or Craigslist? I don't know how skanky you guys are, but there's a difference. P.S. To quote your Patty Stanger impression from a random episode I listened to, I'd suck the cocks right off you if I could. Patty does say that. What the hell? Yeah, I'd suck him off. I'd suck him off if he weren't gay

um i my husband will not be coming from an app i'll tell you that right now because i'm an old person i hate those apps i've had them all and they're crazy grinder snotty it's these snotty queens who like don't eat work out a lot spray. They've always got a spray tan line on their butt, those types. And they think they're all snotty, but they're really homely. But with workout bodies, get out of here with your workout body and your homely face. I think the question is more like would your favorite house husband, so like Mauricio or whatever, you have to figure out which of your favorite house husbands, who's your favorite house husband, and would they use Scrubb, Grime, or Craigslist?

I can't internalize that because we'll be here for half an hour. Look, I was about to go. Okay. House husband. Okay, you start. I need my brain to reconfigure. I know. I'm like, I'm trying to remember who my favorite house husband is. You know, it's so hard for me, like, because we talk for so long about these shows,

the ones that are on. So all I can think of now is who's on Beverly Hills and who's on, like, that are on. So all I can think of now is who's on Beverly Hills and who's on Atlanta. It's like I can't even remember who the husbands are on Orange County or New York. Well, there's no one on New York.

All the husbands are gone. What's the bear one? It's not any of those, but it's the one for fatter people. I've been on that one before. No, no. It's called bear or brr because there's never a vowel in it.

It's something for like bigger people. That's what Scruff used to be at least. I know. I went on that one. I was like, oh, my God. Thank God it's some fat guys. And they're snotty assholes too. I mean, Jesus Christ, gays.

They come in every size. Okay. Let me think. Tom Girardi would be from that bear one. That grumpy old man bear that still has an attitude. Girardi would be from that bear one. That grumpy old man bear but still has an attitude. Grinder would be

probably... I'm trying to think. Who's the prettiest one? Probably David. He's a little old for Grinder, but David from Orange County has definitely got the prettiest face. Donnie would definitely be on Grinder.

I don't think Donnie's cute. There, I said it. Well, fine. He's got a Grinder body. You have to admit that oh that's true yeah um i think okay jason bethany's ex jason would be on grinder yeah he would be a grinder he would be like an older twink on grinder for sure um scruff would probably be um like paul uh Paul Adrian's ex-husband Sure he wouldn't be Craigslist Oh you know who would be Scruff

Would be Joe Gorga He's crazy Scruff Joe Gorga is He's got like a grinder He can go on both apps really He's got like a grinder spray tan can go on both apps, really. Yeah, he's got like a grinder, spray tan, and body wax, but more of a scruff, rough bottom kind of a personality. You know, like a power bottom.

Like a lot of attitude who yells at you and spits in your face, but then just wants to like get plowed for five hours. Apollo. Apollo would definitely be on Jacked, which was not part of the original question option, but I'm going to introduce Jacked into the equation And Apollo would be on that I wonder if they have things like that in jail

Like if they have little apps that they can go on the computer And use with each other Like the block app Prisoner with no E Block with no O Mauricio I think Mauricio is a scruff He's a scruff yeah for sure

He's a scruff where you're like oh my god look, for sure. He's a scruff where you're like, oh my god, look at that cute guy. And then you meet him and you're like, oh, love handles. Because you know that's how people on scruff are. It's like for bears, but only bears that work out. And then they're mad when they meet a real bear. They're like, god damn it.

What do you think a bear is? Do you think it just means having a hint of a mustache? I feel like Ken would be on Craigslist and he'd show up for the hookup and someone would be like, I'm just here to buy a vacuum cleaner. It's like, I guess that was a mustache. I feel like Ken would be on Craigslist and he'd show up for the hookup and someone would be like, I'm just here to buy a vacuum cleaner. I guess that's a mistake.

Yes, Ken would be on Craigslist. He'd be like, I need Hello. Hello, Mom. Please respond if you want a giant king-sized power. And they'd be like, yes, we want it. I'd be like, I meant vacuum.

Send nudes. Send nudes, please. Simon Van Kempen. I think Simon is just on. That's Craigslist. He's just on every. He's on all of them. Yes, he's that one.

He's always the top of the list on every single app because he's always on the app. He's always the most recently on. He's the one who messages you and just goes, looking, top or bottom? He doesn't even say hi. My friend told me the other day, she's like, I got a Tinder message from this guy and it just said, anal? Question mark. Yeah, that's Simon. Stop that.

You have to be nicer. Romaine. Oh, Romaine. Romaine Lettuce, be nicer Romaine lettuce remember Romaine yeah he's Grindr Romaine? he's so big he's not hairy enough

he's not like silver looking enough Romaine will fat shame his ass off Romaine Romaine would do very well on Grindr well he's very cute and people on Grindr do like lettuce yeah it's their favorite protein would do very well on on grinder well he's very cute and people on grinder do like lettuce yeah they do it's their it's their favorite protein

oh any more from the mailbag bean um i was still just thinking about all the house husbands um yeah we have i mean we have a lot um um let's see uh oh Jean Beaton Leavitt She asks This is actually going back a little bit to Orange County She goes, I was listening to one of your OC Podcasts, you were discussing Vicky's Overreaction to Brooke's cancer diagnosis How do you feel about her performance

And are you pissed Vicky took us for chumps What do you think of fake illness storylines And do you think there should be a punishment So this goes back to What we were talking about, and do you think there should be a punishment? So this goes back to what we were talking about before. I don't think there should be a punishment. I mean... That would be hard to enforce. Yeah.

Get a blood test before every reunion and then get publicly flogged. Yeah, I'm not pissed. Because I don't think Vicky took us for chomps. I think Vicky just got caught up in her own lies. I don't think she's... Oh, sweet, innocent Ben. Of course she did. She's still selling cancer products.

She's, like, selling her hashtag... Yeah, but I don't think it's... But I don't think it's as malicious as, oh, they're all chumps. I think it's just, like, she tried to get away with it. She got caught up. She thought she would just sort of, like, this would be, like, an easy thing.

And then it was, like, one... You know, she's got in too deep. Yeah, it was just sort of like, this would be like an easy thing. And then it was like one, you know, she's got in too deep. I just don't take it personally. Just pretend you have cancer. They can't be mean to you if you have cancer. And then it snowballs. Yeah. I think Vicky's natural state is taking people for chumps.

She thinks everyone's an idiot around her. And guess what? She's right. They usually are. But I don't take it personally. I think it's part of the fun of these shows i mean i mean i feel like people should should relax and enjoy it as like great entertainment i mean look she's got she got taken down like what else do you want she got taken down

she just got a new kitchen and a new season on her show so exactly well but she but like now she has to grovel her way through it it's i think's the fun of it. That's the fun of it, people. So, Henrissa Bassey. There's something about Vicky that's as awful of a human being as she is. And she really is. She's gross. I mean, you can add up everything she's done

over her seasons and all of her lies and all of her crap. And she's terrible. But I always like her. It's so weird. I never even get mad at her because she's just so consistently terrible. her it's so weird i never even get mad at her because she's just so consistently terrible yeah i i kind of agree with you okay so um henry sabassi says

let's talk dating look look at all these questions all like we've together let's talk dating everyone has a funny worst date ever story ronnie and ben please tell us about your worst date ever ronnie you can start oh god this is if you think it was hard for thought it was hard to come up with house husbands going back into the dating like going back oh no kidding there were a lot of bad dates yeah i've had a lot of bad dates but i don't really date that much like i'm not interested and probably because i've had so many bad dates i was like oh netflix is better um but probably one of the dumbest dates we had this really stupid fight i was dating this guy who i mean i was younger i think i was in my mid-20s and um i'm dating this guy he was fairly cute and we were sitting in a taco cabana okay so there's there's where it begins

a fucking taco cabana i think that was like our second date i should have been running i know but i was 25 so still at least i had to make him buy my taco i was like you know you're paying for this right and he's like well i thought you wanted to be independent i said i do it means i don't want you to dress me in clothes from abercrombie It doesn't mean that I don't want you to buy me a taco. Like, learn what independence means. Yeah. So he bought my taco and then some hot guy walked in and I was like, oh, my God a hot guy. You're not allowed to do that when you date. And he's like, no. And then he got all pissed off and I went on the patio to smoke a cigarette. And he came back, acted like tears in his eyes. I'm so sure. Such a faker.

So he came back like he had been crying. And I was like, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. He's like, you know what? This is called a bump in the road and we'll get over it. And then he drank my Diet Coke and there was a cigarette in it. I had put my cigarette butt out in there. And then he had to go to the bathroom and throw up for 30 minutes so that was probably his worst date but it was still fun for me just a bump in the road

yeah i was like this is bullshit i'm gonna masturbate for the rest of my life bye man i i can't remember which is my my worst i i've definitely had some bad ones and at this point i just sort of like forget like i'm sure as we talk i'll i'll like remember other ones um i do remember once going on a date there was this guy i i went on a few dates with him he was a waiter at fiesta cantina so that was already that's already a a bad sign there what is it with us and bad dates and mexican food restaurants so he you know the good news is that he was really cute the bad news is that he really was not that bright but um but whatever he was so cute that i was like okay i'm just gonna go on like a few dates with him because

he's cute right so um we go to this this uh bar and we like sit down, we order drinks. And these two women like at the next table over ask him a question about something. Like where is something? They're out of towners. They're British. They're out of towners. So he turns and starts talking to them in a British accent. And he talks to them for 20 minutes in a british accent

and i'm like literally like like his back is to me that's awesome and he's talking to like these two women in a british accent he doesn't he doesn't say like i don't mind that he talks to other people on our date i'm not like you have to talk to me only but like bring me in or something like that be like oh yeah guys this is whatever. I mean I don't even understand the British accent. But I was just sitting there drinking, staring at his back, and I was getting so mad. I was like – I almost pulled like a total diva move and just was like, bye. I almost just walked out. You should have.

I was literally like – You should have taken – you should have left the second he was like, good day, mate. Well, like I literally – of course, the irony is that we sit here for like two hours a day speaking in like terrible Australian and British accents all the time. But I was like doing it. I was gonna wait till I got to 20 minutes. And like at minute 19, that's when he turned around and he was so happy. He turned around. He's like, oh, my God, those women totally thought I was British.

I was like, I go, I've actually never been on a date where someone turned their back to me for 20 minutes. That way they could try out a fake British accent on some people. And his smile, it was a really bitchy comment for me to make, but I felt like it was deserved. And his smile, he was so excited. And his smile just, it was like he totally Marsha Clarked in the courtroom with her new perm. It just like faded down and he looked down at his beer and he goes i'm sorry your waiter judge ito was like recess till tomorrow morning go home and everybody just fix your hair okay see you tomorrow that's pretty much what happened but it was like one of those moments where it wasn't the worst day

ever went on but it's one of those because i don't remember what my worst day was but it's definitely one of those dates where i thought, this is just bizarre. That's some funny shit. Oh, dating in general. Bye. Bye. Let's talk some shows. Let's talk some shows.

Thanks, Mailbag. To those of you guys we didn't get to, there's still two or three more we didn't get to. So I'm sorry, but we had a lot. We'll get there. We'll get to you. Yeah. sorry but we had a lot so we'll get there we'll get to you that was a long that was a long mailbag today but that's because we had no tour group oh it was fun yeah okay what do you want to talk about first i mean we have a lot of good stuff but i feel like beverly hills was so strong this week. So let's do Beverly Hills.

Then we'll do Vanderpump Rules season finale. Does that sound like a plan, everyone? Works for all of us. Yeah. If you're in favor, and I have to abstain because I chose it. If you're in favor, say aye. Aye. Aye.

Aye. Aye. Me. I said me. Okay? I'm done. Magali don't take sides. Magali is Magali.

Magali abstains. Magali. I don't say I. You say I? I, I, I? No, no, no. Coffee. Coffee's kicking in.

Real housewives of Beverly Hills. What a crazy episode. Wait, may I? I know I'm talking a lot, everyone. I've been drinking coffee. I've been off coffee for a week. I just want to say a macro note about the episode, and it gets back to what we're talking about, about Beverly Hills in the mailbag, which is, I think the thing that I love about

this show is that they do always have a small disagreement a little kernel of whatever and it builds and it builds and builds and then it just gets out of control and then just the layers of arguments going on between all these petty arguments and they just sort of they bounce off each other and get bigger and bigger that's what i love about it because i feel like that's actually very true in real life oh well this i wouldn't say i guess the situation yeah it can be i think the one that makes the thing that makes this one different than most seasons is this show is really famously good at being about nothing yeah it's the seinfeld of real housewives yes and i love it but this one is just nothing but

it's people trying to make nothing. And that's pissing me off at this. Eileen needs to shut the fuck up. I have to say, I don't think it's trying to make something. I think it's like someone like Eileen is just very sensitive. And she just, she's very sensitive. And Lisa Vanderpump is. She's so mean and horrible.

She's awful, Eileen. But it doesn't mean you can't be sensitive. That's two different things. Well, she's sensitive to herself, but she's not sensitive to anybody else. I'm not saying she's sensitive and like, oh, poor Eileen. I'm saying that like, she's sensitive. And then you have Lisa Vanderpump, who's sensitive in a different way. But who's like a...

Who is... But she's sort of like... She's more cold. She's... What do you say?, thicker skinned. And you have these things where I really don't think it's like, oh, trying to drum up drama. Maybe in the beginning there was some. But once the shit's swirling, then they just go.

They just go. They're fine. I know, but she's literally there stirring the shit. Like, she's swirling the shit herself. That's what's making me nuts. It's not like a natural fight that Eileen even has any stake in. Okay, well, we'll get to that. We're going to get to it.

We're going to get to it. But yeah. Oh, good. I love when we get to argue about people. Well, I feel like we're actually on the same side. I just I don't think I'm as I don't feel like I have as severe of a feeling about it. Ronnie warned before we started that Ronnie said it's going to be a ranty day, everyone. So this is going to be an extra hour long.

It is. Just get ready. That's why at the beginning I'm always like, are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go. Let's go. Move it along. I was like, well, there's a good chance that this venti coffee is going to make my shits come back.

But Ronnie's going to be ranting today, so I'm going to need the coffee. You could poop and I wouldn't even know it I'd just be sitting here yelling at the yelling at the computer um so we open this episode with Yolanda calling uh wait this isn't the beginning

okay dish network okay I have to say what the fuck is up with NBC snotty ass always getting into fights with everybody? NBC owns Bravo, for those of you who don't know. So, NBC is now threatening to take away NBC-owned stations

from Dish again, which happens, it seems now, like, every year. Dish is like, watch out, we're gonna drop you because... My question is, who is using Dish? That's my question. Whoever's uploading this shit to the internet, apparently, because it was on my screen. I was like, hello, I steal this shit so I don't have uploading this shit to the internet apparently because it was on my screen. I was like, hello, I steal this shit so I don't have to pay for Dish. No, it's on my screen. I think they put it on

everyone's because I have DirecTV and I got it. Oh, I do pay for Time Warner police people who are going to come raid my neighbor's house for my ATV. But Dish has this scrolling thing and it's like, attention Dish customers. NBC, CNBC, XSMBC, NBC Bravo, Bravo NBC, you know all the channels.

As narrated by Tom Sandoval. They're like, you need to call right now and complain, Kristen. And then they named the campaign. Stop the drop. You need to call them and say, stop the drop, Kristen. I was like whoa what are you running for office dish tv get out of here but i'm pointing this out because of the opening it's scrolling and it hits lisa rena's face and you know i love a warning sign from a

real sign that they show on camera and this was lisa rena's face and right above it said you are going to lose it's like just just network customers you are going to lose. It was like, Dish Network customers, you are going to lose, blah, blah, blah. And it was the perfect placement. And that's how this show opens. So warning. You've been warned, Rinna, by Dish. Yeah. Rinna's gotten herself a little bit, like, she's a little out of her depth at the moment.

And she still hasn't gotten me a croissant. So, I mean. The fucker. The fucker. I love you, Lisa. But I'll love you more hasn't gotten me a croissant. So, I mean... The fucker. The fucker. I love you, Lisa, but I'll love you more when you get me my croissant. No, I'm just demanding it. I'm just being... I'm just demanding. I want to sit there and watch you

watch me eat a croissant that you bought. Damn it. Listen, I've been in LA a long time, baby. I know where all the croissant places are, and I know that you haven't gone to any of them to get me my croissant, baby. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. I own no croissants, baby. Own it, baby.

So Dish Network. Okay, get over it. The internet was a buzz. Blah, blah, blah. Leaked scenes. Okay, so a lot of you have already seen all these episodes because there were a bunch of leaked scenes on ye olde internet last week of everything leading up. I mean everything including the finale. I did not watch those. So

if we sound ignorant it's because we don't watch those. Because by the time we talk about it we'll forget all that stuff. Or I will. Yeah. So Yolanda, thank you. And by the way I'm talking so much because I have the notes for this one. Yeah. You'll all survive. Yolanda, I would like to applaud Yolanda for not wearing white jeans for the first time in, I mean, 20 years that I can remember.

She's wearing pink. It's snake skin, so it's still representative. But at least they ain't those white jeans. The premier site for the... Yes. The premier site for getting rid of white jeans. It's like burning white jeans in China. So she is on FaceTime with Gigi

reminding us that she has a supermodel daughter. Blah, blah, blah. Then she moves the phone. Also, she's sitting in a picture of only Gigi. She's sitting in front of a picture of just Gigi. I noticed that too. The only frame Gigi, not noticed that too. The only frame Gigi and not the other one.

The other ones I have somewhere on the phone. I have a Xerox photo of the other ones somewhere over there in the filing cabinet. They're on the refrigerator. Not at the Malibu refrigerator but in this one. It's not see-through. You open it and there's a picture. They're under the turkey.

So she moves the phone after she gets off with Gigi and puts it on top of the grand piano so that David can't stare at the grand piano the whole time they talk, which I thought was very tricky. She's like, you will not look at piano while you talk to me. And she calls David to help her with her lime speech. Yeah. She's like, David, my love, I just i you know i cannot like i'm sure i have to write speech and i just can't write speech it's just my brain is you know my brain is just not sharp anymore i'm like or you're just not a good writer just you know you're you're model not a writer you're talking to a man who's written nine million songs and won like 14 grammys

and you're complaining about how hard it is to write a damn speech. And then David, who's so supportive, is like babe, you've already given a Lime speech. Just give that one again. It was good. Yeah. He's talking about Yolanda singing her greatest hits for the Global Lime Alliance. Sounds like the X-Men. Listen,

Yolanda, just go and take a bunch of lyrics from Michael Bolton and rearrange them and you'll be fine. Your husband owns the rights to all of them. It's okay. Yeah, but I can't do the same one over and over. I'm like, do you remember that he played Ave Maria for the 9,000th time last week? Who are you complaining to?

Yolanda, you've been regurgitating the same lines to us over and over again all season. It's okay if you repeat a speech. No kidding. Like the line people are really there for something original. They're like, oh, God, sure to use this one. Kick her out of the alliance. The alliance. Who are they allied with?

I don't know. It just says the Global Lime Alliance. I guess it's like a bunch of ticks on one side and a bunch of people on the other. The ticks are like, it hurts us too. I think that we have said this multiple times on this show, but I do want to say, because someone mentioned it in a comment the other day,

getting pissy about it. We are not doubting Lyme. We kind of doubt chronic Lyme, but we've said we are not doctors. This, at this point, is not about the disease. I'm not doubting that there's a disease. I'm doubting Yolanda, okay? And if you don't doubt Yolanda, please listen to this

quote that I transcribed directly from her. My brain used to be free-flowing and expression. I lost the ability to all of that. Now, I have to think of everything a hundred times. Yolanda, you're acting like you're on Awakenings.

The hell does Lyme do? She's acting like Lyme came and hammered a nail into her brain. Shut yolanda i mean i believe that lime disease could do that to you but i mean i just i just i agree with what lisa said last week which is that she's milking it she's just milking it yeah everything's about it so to lime people i know we make a bunch of lime jokes and stuff i'm not doubting that you're sick or you're diseased. Obviously, lime is real. It's a testable disease. Yolanda's talking about chronic lime, which is a little different.

That's an umbrella of a zillion diseases. I won't go again. I'm just saying, not doubting any of that publicly. Doubting Yolanda, okay? Yeah. That's it. So she's inviting all the girls to her lime event. Limethon 2013. Or 16. Whatever year it is. I can't tell. Lime to her Lime event. Limethon 2013.

Or 16. Whatever year it is. I can't tell. Lime brain. Lime brain. Babe, it's important for girls to share my journey. Oh my god. The journey. It's always a journey. Some journeys go to Dubai.

Some journeys go to a fucking Lime conference to hear Yolanda's greatest Lyme hits. Catherine is at the ear doctor getting implants. Yeah, that was nice. I thought that was nice. Can I tell you something odd? You know, the last few episodes I've really been feeling like Catherine is such an asshole. And this episode, oddly enough I was enjoying her I think I feel like I saw

Catherine in a different way that she's just a goofy idiot you know, like she's just like, I don't know, I can't hear I don't know, like whatever she's like a big she's like a big old dog that you just pet and it poops on your carpet

every now and then and you're like, oh this freaking dog but at the end it's like, oh just pet it, it's fine and then suddenly it's C then and you're like, oh, this freaking dog. But at the end of the day, it's like, oh, just pet it. It's fine. And then suddenly it's Cujo. It's like a big shaggy dog. Yeah, and Dee Wallace is stuck in a car with her kid and can't get out because she's got some dog fucking trying to murder her. Guess I've been hollering.

How does Catherine go to a doctor named Dr. House and not suggest Yolanda go see him? I know. That's some mystery right there. So Catherine is a big dum-dum, but she is manipulative enough to know as a housewife.

You can see why she's cast, because she uses her ear implant and deafness to, you know, absolve herself. She's like, oh, I didn't realize I couldn't hear her this is why everybody got mad at me shut the fuck up it's not that you couldn't hear it's because you were saying stupid shit

but saying it loudly she was saying it loudly I guess I've been hollering all this time hopefully now you can hear how stupid you sound to everybody else and be quiet so the newest back to the show the newest Hopefully now you can hear how stupid you sound to everybody else. Be quiet. So the newest, back to the show, the newest gold digger, but the newest gold diggers on the block now can learn how this shit is done.

Welcome back, Miss Camille Grammar and the giant mall house that Frasier's Ball Sack built. Yes, it was a random Camille grammar party out of nowhere awkward ass camille in her gigantic lonely lonely mansion that she's been keeping that gardening done in poor hagrid you know hagrid's out in the front doing all that gardening there's a huge landscape there not for long because camille's moving out right i mean she just had an estate sale yeah so it's good that she got her her last hurrah before it's down to the condo in Zuma Beach or whatever. So Miss Camille. You say that as if that's like a crappy existence. Well, compared to Malibu, darling.

Yeah. Still next door. Yeah, I'm like, okay. She'd be horrified to say she lives in Zuma. I know. So Camille is so awkward. I love seeing Camille when she comes back on the show. She stomps down

the stairs. She's wearing this pretty Dancing with the Stars dress with a cutout on the stomach. She's just stomping down the stairs so awkwardly. She's, you know, just trying to put together a decent

sentence. How sad that we're going to be celebrating somebody else's the same day that we hear about our friend's split. So upsetting. I know. I love Tahitian

pearls. It's Camille. It's Camille. She's got all these jewelry setups outside of her house because she's having a cancer fundraiser or some shit because cancer i mean that's you know not just in cancer but of course camille who's like let's do it with jewelry in the backyard i love tahitian pearls get out here get out of here nouveau married out of here, nouveau married rich. Eileen is stuck in a Dillard's clearance rack prom dress. Oh no, we're seeing

in a limo with Kyle. And Kyle's stuck in some netted tight, it's like netted over the stomach with a glitter jacket. Oh no, darling. I just put, I hope the driver has enough empathy to drop them at a Marshall's first. Marshall's of Malibu.

It'll be all small. I think Marshall's of Malibu is actually Camille's estate sale. That's Dee's room. What's her friend's name? Her friend's boy, Dee Dee? That's Dee Dee's room. Yeah. Marshall's of Malibu.

Dee Dee's room. Yeah. Marshalls of Malibu. So in six minutes of this show of Beverly Hills, we've had Lyme, deafness, and cancer. Yeah. All in one. It's like calling my papa. This is like the part of that Verizon commercial where the little marbles go down the path.

This is when the big bowling balls start rolling down. Like, okay, we're just going to shove all this data at you. I was attacked by data. The bowling balls came from my lime. I haven't been out of bed in nine years because of the fluorescent data. I'm on a family plan with Gigi and data. So much data.

Cut to Lisa Vanderpump's house where she's got some... How many dogs does this woman have? I haven't even seen half of these animals in her house. She's like, well, we've got to go, darling. I don't want to be late. I'm in trouble already, darling. They showed like a million, million animals. All the swans were on the air.

Lyme, deafness, cancer, and now victim complex. Love it. Don't forget dog slaughter. Oh, God. We'll get there. Oh, my God. This dog slaughter made me so sick to my stomach. I Googled that shit.

Please nobody do it. I Googled it last week because I saw the previews. I was like, what are they talking about? I was like, whoops. I thought for sure they're exaggerating. Maybe some Chinese people eat some dogs. It's like the previews. I was like, what are they talking about? I was like, whoops. I thought for sure they're exaggerating. Maybe some Chinese people eat some dogs. You know, it's like the old joke, like, don't eat Chinese food. It's probably made out of a dog or a cat.

And people are like, that's racist. I thought it was just some ignorant joke. And then I Googled it. They literally torture the dogs and eat them. By the way, this is off topic. But did you read today about that American that american uh student 21 year old kid who was just sentenced to 15 years in a north korean labor camp no he let me do he went to north korea as part of there's like he went on this like tour group that like does travel to

north korea he stole a banner from the hotel he was staying at. He stole a banner from the staff quarters that had a political slogan on it. And of course he was caught. And he basically, there's a one hour trial and they sentenced him to 15 years of hard labor in one of their labor camps. I know those labor camps are like concentration camps. It's like no joke.

So he's, I mean, unless there's some intervention, he's probably going to die there. It's crazy. Well, what do you think you're doing going to North Korea for vacation, you fucking moron? Have fun working. And he said he stole the banner as like a trophy because someone from his church group told him like, oh, bring back a trophy. Someone from his church group told him to steal.

I mean, come on now. Like, it's weird because on the one hand, I want to be like, you are such an idiot. This is avoidable in two ways. One, don't go to North Korea. Two, don't steal something from North Korea. If you go to North Korea, your hands are by your side and you're not saying anything. You're not even taking photos, okay? You're doing it.

How about read the news, like maybe just a paragraph of the news to know that North Korea wants you fucking dead. Why would you go there? Yeah, they're going to look for any excuse to capture you and use you as like a political pawn if possible so i mean it's crazy but on the other hand it's like i do feel terrible for him because he's getting like a 15 year concentration camp thing it's awful well that's one way to give the american youth a work ethic seriously so but you know that's actually very relevant to this because we're talking about atrocities in asia well it's also yeah and it's also relevant because why do people fall all over themselves for dubai that place yes it's rich it's the richest most fabulous place in the world that also has no

respect for women and that you'll go to jail for cursing when you guys say the F word every two seconds. Am I going to feel bad for your asses when you all get thrown in jail in Dubai or decapitated? No, don't go there. This is the first time I was wishing that Brandi Glanville were back on the cast because I want to see her go to Dubai and be thrown into a jail. Sorry, Brandy. You idiots. They're all like, Dubai? Really? How about, like...

You know in Dubai, if you're a foreigner and you're driving a car or something and someone, like a Dubai resident, is drunk and they hit you and it's totally... They go through a red light, they're drunk, and they hit you. It's your fault because you shouldn't have been there in the first place well yeah there you go so have fun on your trip sounds great yeah hey let's go to a place that like really enjoys uh shitting on

women and make that our destination point our vacation spot for a show that's supposedly empowering women fucking yeah not that beverly Hills is much better towards women either. It's like, okay, so go take this knife to your face and make it look strange like the Joker. Well, at least I don't have to wear a cover over my wig, darling. Yeah, that's true too. So anyway, I'm sorry. I got us off track.

Coffee, coffee, coffee. It's going to be that. I'm telling you, it's a ranty day. So Yolanda shows up to Camille's house. Guess what? Not wearing white jeans. You guys, Yolanda is healed. It's like someone slapped her on the head and she's healed now.

I don't know what's happening, but that is definitely healing. Yeah, she has like a little boy haircut now. Yes, I think her hair looks so cute i mean this is nothing she really can't do i mean she's just beautiful she's just like beautiful although i i personally liked it when she had the long hair i thought she looked uh super sexy the long hair but you know she's i mean she's gorgeous she's gorgeous either way she's got great style i know you'll hate the white pants i think she's got great style every she just rocks it's too the white pants it's just every episode i mean seeing her in two hate the white pants. I think she's got great style. She just rocks everything. The white pants. It's just every episode.

I mean, seeing her in two scenes without white pants finally makes me think this woman might be sick. Like, something's wrong with her. So she hugs Camille, which was funny because I just was thinking disease street fight. Like, cancer versus Lyme. Let's go, Camille. And these are two of the phoniest housewives ever and it's funny just watching them talk to each other because Camille does

okay play that clip play that Camille thing again yeah okay somebody else's yeah the same day that we hear about our friends split I'll never get sick of that it like makes me laugh just as hard as the first time. Camille's face when she says that.

Her little squint, and then she's pouting her lips that are semi-open, and she just looks vacant, but she's trying so hard to look like she's present. Because she, like, she starts the sentence off, and then she clearly loses steam, so then someone else has to come in and sort of do the rest of it, and she'll just sort of be like, Yeah, uh, yeah, yeah, so sad. loses steam so then someone else has to come in and sort of do the rest of it and she'll just sort of like yeah so sad

it's just that face that squinty open pouty face that she has that's the face she had and she's like thank you so much for coming you're always so elegant now please please go buy things at the auction at the auction yes

then Yolanda has to up-ego her, out-ego her, and say, Camille, thank you so much for having me. I would support your journey. I would support any journey that you are on. Yes. So many people don't have the balls to share their journey. I'm like, way to say thank you and make it all about yourself again. Exactly. Face off. I mean, just go on say thank you and make it all about yourself again. Exactly.

Face off. I mean, just go on The Amazing Race at this point with all your journeys. Crazy face off. Yeah. So then Lisa Rinna shows up, right? Yeah, but I just put, Yolanda won't stop saying journeys.

If Yolanda ever flew coach, she would understand that not wanting to share a journey with other people is totally normal. No one wants to share a journey, darling. I swear there's private planes. Yeah, stupid journeys. Meanwhile, Yolanda's friend

stares at Camille's rack. Okay, then Rinna comes in and it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and then nothing happens. Well, what's funny is that so here's what's funny to me early in the season rena is like talking to someone off camera and they talk about yolanda possibly having munchausen and it was someone else talking about it and rena

engaged speculated perhaps and she felt so guilty that she went to Vanderpump, she went to, I feel so guilty, I feel so, what should I do? I feel so guilty because I said these things behind her back. I feel so guilty. And she goes and talks to Yonda. Now, Rinna has done so much worse. She has said so many worse things, and now there's none of

that. I feel so guilty I talked behind her back. I was like, so like, to me it's kind of funny that she basically did nothing wrong originally, and yet she felt massively guilty for it. But now she's actually talked shit, and she's like, ugh. It's just sort of funny that, like, she doesn't

she's not holding, she doesn't have that same amount of guilt anymore. But that's probably because now Yolanda has been bitchy to her. Yes. And I'm so scared. I'm scared of Yolanda. Okay, there, I said it. I'm scared. Because, you know, who knows?

Like, she got mad because I asked her about Munchausen. She's going to get mad because you're going to do it 20 more times. Yeah. I mean, Rinna's basically following the exact same pattern as she did with Kim Richards last season. But it's fine because I actually agree in both cases. Oh, Rinna's such a mess. But of course the tables turn because now she's got me siding

with Yolanda, of all people. Actually, I know where you're going with that. I think I may agree with you. And I don't even think, I think the whole world agrees. Like, she's really just got him off the deep end. I don't know if this is a search for story because maybe she feels boring. I don't know what the hell she's doing, but it doesn't even make any sense.

Well, I... My't even make any sense. Well, I... My feeling is, I agree. When Rinna says, when someone's sick, like, it's a lose-lose. When someone's sick, baby, you can't say anything about them. So, I agree. That sort of does suck. But, that being said, I'm assuming...

Well, it hasn't stopped her. But I'm assuming you're about to talk about the fact that when Lisa sits down and Yolanda's like, are you sad? And she's like, yeah, I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm just, you know, I'm sad, which is it was kind of like so overdramatic. And then Yolanda's like, I need to hug you because I feel your emotion.

So they hug. And then the reason why Lisa is sad is she's like, well, I just saw a picture of you and Brandy and Kim on the same day that you didn't you didn't go to erica's party and i just i don't understand why you chose them over erica it hurts me like what i was like lisa lisa i've been i've been cheerleading for you we've all been rooting for you lisa as tyra would say but this was not your battle to pick this was you're wasting your capital, your argument capital on this. This was not an argument to be made, especially in front of Erica, who doesn't give a fuck. This was something that should have been put in the file as evidence of shadiness, but not an argument to be had directly with Yolanda. It's not about you, especially when you're doing it right in front of Erica, who doesn't give a fuck.

Don't give a fuck. Don't give a fuck. So you've got Lisa, Rinna, and Erica sitting there eating nothing, which I thought was very telling, because they're the ones who are always insisting that they eat. And they're watching Yolanda, who probably usually never eats, eat noodles, which, I mean, that's newsworthy. Next to Eileen, who's sitting there in her terrible clothes, also eating noodles, just looking at Rinna like, you better say something. And then Rinna tries to start this fight and pretend she's crying about something that has nothing to do with her and yolanda tries to stay very um oh it's understand you know she tries to

stay very zen but then man she starts busting because rena will not let it go and keeps up up but why but why i just don't understand why you would do that. But why would you do that? Why would you do that, baby? Own it, baby. And Yolanda, I feel her energy because, you know, maybe I've turned psychic or something from being sick so long. When you're so alone, you become very open to the world.

You're very emotionally raw. I'm like, what are you talking about? If anything, if you're in isolation, you become more disconnected from people. Yes, I've been in my house so long that now I'm psychic. Yeah. Girl.

Yeah, but this was a stupid battle for Lisa Rinna. Like, it was, you know, Yolanda was right. If Erica didn't have a problem with it, then Lisa should just drop it. I mean, like I said, I think it's something down the line, if there's a larger argument about Yolanda and her questionable behavior, you can say, well, it's weird. Like, for instance, do this, and then you don't do that. But this was not the argument. And of course she already knows what Yolanda is going to say.

We all do. Yolanda is like, I am like one of these electric cars with only a tiny gas tank. So I only have tiny gas in me. There was no plug to plug in. I could make it to park, but I could not make it to Pasadena because car, electric, safe environment. Oh, my God. What did you think she was going to say? And then Renna is like, well, now you can't say anything because she's sick.

I'm like, you've said something every episode what are you talking about i love i love how uh variable yolanda's gas tank is like she has enough gas to have lunch with kim and brandy but she can't go to a dinner party and yet she later on has enough gas to fly across country and then at night go up to a suite and then have you know drinks and cocktails and go up the rooftop and then at night go up to a suite and then have drinks and cocktails and go up to the rooftop and then entertain people. So interesting. She was getting drunk for drunk for Kim's birthday. She can't be driving to Pasadena. I mean, it's a long day, like sitting with Kyle.

And I mean, Kim and Brandy has to be painful enough without them having to drive to Pasadena. OK, look, just say I didn't go to Erica's party because she married an old person who lives an hour away. Okay, that's why. Get a better place or have a party at McDonald's or whatever like any other housewife would. Let me see. Rena won't drop it. This is seriously like six paragraphs. I'm trying

to spin past this because this is when it starts getting really good. Well, they are, I mean, the issue gets so convoluted because then it's like, well, why would you take a picture? Well, Brandy put up the picture. Well, then why would, you know, Brandy has real hashtag real friends, but like, how could you say they're real friends? Whatever. And then Eileen's like, it's not about the picture.

It's just, it was so convoluted and it was honestly, Lisa was on the wrong side of this one. Yeah, and it was literally about the picture. So Eileen's standing up for Lisa, but she doesn't even know what she's talking about because Lisa's going, why would you hashtag it

real friends? I mean, they're your real friends and we're not. And Yolanda's like, I didn't take this picture. It's not on my Instagram. She's like, yeah, but it was still there

and it says like, hashtag real friends. She's like, okay, but I didn't put this hashtag, so I don't know. What do you want her to argue about? I know. Do you want her to apologize for know. What do you want her to argue about? Do you want her to

apologize for Brandy Glanville calling her a real friend? Come on, what are you fighting about? Yeah, I think this was a backfire. But I have trust issues. Now this is where I like Yolanda when she just snaps a bitch down and stops

this phony victim bullshit. When she's like, oh, really? I had trust issues with you for a long time because you tell me all these things. You start about the munching and things, telling people I eat after smoking the marijuana. So there you go, munching, frass, and toots and toots. You can say this word, okay?

So I don't trust you neither. But the funny thing is that, no, well, Yolanda was the first one, I think, who said that she had trust issues. And the funny thing is that Yolanda well, Yolanda was the first one, I think, who said that she had trust issues. And the funny thing is that Yolanda is still mad at Lisa Rinna for even mentioning the word Munchausen. When the truth is, Lisa Rinna went directly to Yolanda to apologize for even engaging in it, you know? And basically, you know, subtly saying, like, I'm sorry I brought this up on camera. you know, subtly saying like,

I'm sorry, I brought this up on camera. And Yolanda is like jumping down. It's still mad at her about that. When actually Lisa Rinna did the right thing. If you think about it, she apologized on camera on purpose. Then she went to her house to get her to try and confront her about it on camera.

When of course you can't do that. Like, what are you going to have a munch house and spite on camera? Like you're still doing it on camera. Then she's done nothing but talk about it on camera ever since Yolanda knows like Yolanda's an idiot but she's a smart idiot

Yolanda's the one who actually made this story have legs because Rinna was sitting there like oh my god baby like I feel terrible I engaged in this and it was all honestly as a viewer it was like oh you're being ridiculous you know and then she goes and apologizes and all yolanda needs

to do is like it's it's fine like whatever and then it would be over but then she shows up and she acts nice and then ren is like i sense that we still have a problem no no no no no it's because yolanda then what started then going on hey when started going on this campaign. She's like, you know, first it was about Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle. And then she starts getting... And then she's like, you know, the next day I thought about it and I got so mad at Lisa. And all of a sudden Yolanda starts coming at them, coming at her. And then, like, Yolanda could have just let it die.

She really could have. I mean, you know, you could say like lisa it's it's weird this is where where we always differ a little bit because you know the cynic in us believed that when lisa was mentioning like i was engaging this conversation i just feel terrible about it that she is sneakily just trying to put it on camera right that's the cynic in us and um and then when she goes to apologize to yolanda she's cynically trying to further it but um yeah that's what i think right but i forget what my point was i just think that like academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my holla herald a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly

adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will,

she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to

flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History

for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Yolanda fell for it, and now Yolanda is, you know, Yolanda is the one who's now turned it into a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

Well, I don't even... Obviously, this whole season that we've talked about this, I think Yolanda's totally full of shit. I always have. And I've never liked Yolanda. Like, ever. I think she's awful. But... I used to like her a lot. I just always thought she was awful. Especially when she was like, Your husband abused me! Like, when Ken

touched her arm. Like, fuck her. She's horrible. You can't trust a person like that. So, even though, when this original scene happened i said right then and there this was rena doing this on camera because kyle and lisa had been talking about it with i mean i've always been anti yolanda but still i think brent is full of shit but i've still been on her side because she's i agree with her so i'm like haha like that's funny but now she's just not letting it go. And it's just going crazy. And she's like, we need to talk.

Maybe we should talk about these feelings. It's like, what did you just do? And Yolanda does that, like, super fast shrug where it's not a shrug. It's like a, mm. Yolanda shut her down. Yolanda won that one. Yolanda, like, fully was like, I'm going to bring out my European bitch right now. And I'm just going to shut you down right now.

And then it just went up in this weird place where it's like, we're a work in progress, baby. Like me and Daphne Zuniga. Yes, and rightly so that Yolanda shut her down. She doesn't owe you an explanation for going to someone's birthday lunch. But of course, Yolanda, don't you remember when it was your birthday?

I crawled out of the bed and came to support you because it's your birthday journey. I'm like, what are you, a free Starbucks on somebody's birthday? But that was sly. That was really sly of her. Yolanda keeps everything in her, quote unquote, vault. She keeps tabs on everything and everyone. Everyone says that Lisa Vanderpump holds grudges.

No, Yolanda is the one who has got a file on everything she's done for every personisa vanderpump holds grudges no it's yolanda's the one who's got a file on everything she's done for every person and what they haven't done for her i guarantee it yes and i see in a way what rin is trying to do because she's like okay i can't talk to yolanda that way i can't talk to her that way so maybe i'll try yolanda's way of just being a victim and sitting here and pretend crying because maybe if this is like now i'm a victim and i'm crying she'll get it and she'll like relate and then we can talk but it doesn't work she just looks stupid like a victim and then yolanda's like you know i'm tired bye and she gets up and brenna's like well yeah don't worry it's just we're gonna talk about it it's a work in progress everybody don't worry meanwhile where is eric never talk about it again where is erica during

this why did i miss it like why didn't erica pipe up and say i didn't give a fuck i didn't care oh she did i think she did she did she said something like um she's like i get it what am i gonna tell you to come to my house with a swollen brain? I don't give a fuck. Erica probably should have been the one to say, listen, Lisa, it was my party. I didn't mind, so I don't give a fuck. So shut up. She kind of did, but I think it was just... She was just going to let them air it out.

Yeah, she needs to do it. She needs to let them do it. Yolanda's never in scenes with everybody. And Catherine's sitting there. Wasn't Catherine there too, just watching with trout face she's like yeah all the other girls joined i think the other girls joined because lisa and kyle were just making fun of everybody and cackling in a corner they're like because because when yolanda hugged lisa um that's when that's when lisa vanderpump and kyle were like oh they're hugging and then i think lisa vanderpump made the joke like

is she leaving? She's leaving already. She's going to put a hand up her skirt, darling. Look at that. They're like hugging and smiling at each other. Yeah, they were sort of snickering in the corner. And you know what? I allow it.

I allow it. Yeah. Me too. I was laughing so hard. It's so funny how this show can make you change sides week to week. That's the fun of it, darling. Honestly. I'm like, shut up, Rinna. Yeah. I've never been pro-Eileen either,

but now I'm officially completely anti-Eileen. Fuck that woman. I'm moving towards... See, I really love Eileen, but I am really not on her side with any of her shenanigans. I love all the characters eileen played

on days i think she deserves eight million emmys and i will be imitating them you're mean christian mean mean mean i will be doing that for the rest of my life but the real eileen on this show fuck off lady i i like the i like the real eileen but i i i would i have some notes for her i have i have some notes for her for I have some notes for her persona. So let's get to the really important part of the episode. Is there a new swan in the pond? Yeah, there were a lot of swans going on this time. There's like two white swans, two gray swans now,

and they were all together. And at first I thought, oh my God, Hanky's getting along with the other swans. But then it cuts to Hanky sitting alone, looking at everybody with disdain. Big, long shot of Hanky. Mm-hmm. Alone. Lonely Hanky looking at along with the other swans But then it cuts to Hanky sitting alone Looking at everybody with disdain Big long shot of Hanky Alone, lonely Hanky Looking at all the other people having fun

Aww Be nice to Hanky Be nice to Hanky They won't But it's Hanky's fault in the end Isn't that the truth? Isn't that what's kind of happening with Lala too? Hanky's like

Quack quack, wrap it up Quack quack Okay, note taken That wasn't to you I was just making that up So Catherine comes over to Lisa and Ken's house To talk about this Yulin event And then I googled it and like cried and barfed

I barfed and cried That's disgusting, what the holy fuck China Okay So we can move on from this Yeah, so basically Lisa is Yeah. I barf cried. That's disgusting. What the holy fuck, China? Okay. So we can move on from this. Yeah, so basically Lisa is organizing this event. Is this when Lisa started crying? She's like... That's her fake crying.

That's her fake housewife crying. I loved it. Peep the dogs. I care about the dogs. But no tears are coming out. That's a housewifewives cry right there. I love it. So they're going to go to the Chinese embassy.

And Kyle, of course, is going to come to see if there's any Chinese kids who can make her new line of hijabs. She was just wanting to see if there would be a fat burger truck there. That's how to protest. Bring questionable meat to a China protest. So let me see here katherine's like oh that why don't you let me hold your dog why don't you let me hold your dog lisa where katherine can't get used to not yelling yeah the dog is like covering its ears and then lisa did something where she's like i like that that, Catherine. You know, she's just real. I'm like, of course, because she's on your side. You love an idiot

who's on your side, like a blind idiot who will do whatever you say. And then, of course, the reward is that when Catherine says she's going to take part in the march, then she's allowed to hold the dog. Yes! And Lisa even literally said, alright, darling, you're on my side, so you can hold the puppy.

Yeah. Hold the puppy. So they're going to go to Dubai, blah, blah, blah, dog march. Okay, so Maury and Kyle are having some dinner at some place. I'm assuming one of their family members own that they're getting it for me. Yeah, it was like in Malibu, like Malibu Cafe or something. Yeah, but they're not wearing anything with Maury's logo, so I'm proud of them.

Good job. They're all there, except who's not there? Erica? Think of a fuck. Erica and was Yolanda there? No, Erica and Yolanda weren't there. So, it starts...

Yeah, so here we go I'm actually looking through multiple paragraphs I don't even know how you wrote a recap of this scene because the conversation almost like did not make sense like the amount of bouncing around between like accusations of deflection versus

weird uses of evidence of former conversations and random small things from last season. It was just, it was so, I had trouble following it. I recapped it. And then I read like, you know, everything I see is like declarative. I'm like, I'm emphatic. Even if I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

So I got to that sentence where I was like, blah, blah, blah. And then I thought, wait, is that even right? And then I tried reading it back, and I didn't even understand the recap. So I had to go back and press pause and see exactly what they were saying to even get it, because it's so cuckoo. Yeah. So senseless. It's like cuckoo

senseless, and it doesn't even matter. It's like stupid. Okay, so they start, everybody's happy and trying to have a fun time blah blah blah let me see here yeah oh and then mori mauricio is like uh i can't go to the march because uh you know work or whatever and uh ken's like oh what a good friend you're not coming to my march then what kind of friend doesn't support the march whatever which you know you didn't build a house for poor people either ken yeah so he's all pissy and then that turns into everybody

backing out it starts with rena who ended up going but she's like i don't know because harry hamlin doesn't want me to drive down there by myself i've been i've been around a long time baby and those streets those streets are new and i don't know i don't know them, baby. Downtown doesn't go in squares anymore. How do you know where you are? So then is Eileen's turn. She's like, well, I would love to go to your dog torture ceremony, but unfortunately, it's my only day off, and I just need a day off. And Lisa goes, well, I'd love it. To us only, not to

either. He goes, well, I'd love a day off too, but, you know, this is very important. That one's a lie. Yeah. Of course, Lisa's being a huge grandma victim as usual. Being like, could she to the dogs? But that's all

she said. Okay, so now we have to skip to real life well no no well because well because lisa did not say that she said um she said to eileen something like well it doesn't she started saying well it doesn't and then she's yeah she said i only want people there who really care yeah that's what it was really Really passive aggressive. Yes, it was. Which is total Lisa, you know, like congratulations on hating dogs. So she did, you know, say she did do her Lisa victim thing,

which she does in every argument. Yeah. But in her defense, fuck off, let your day off. Get out of here. This is work. This is a show you're shooting and you're purposely not going to go

to the like one event. Get out of here. I mean, well, she should just come up with an excuse to say she has to work. That's it. Why does she have to say it's my day? Like she's making it a point to say I am off tomorrow, but I need a day. Yeah, that's like the worst thing to say to someone who is asking for charity. Like literally everyone knows that if you don't want to participate in something with charity, you just say, like, I can't make it.

I'm so sorry. But here, let me donate. If you really feel bad, like, can I donate or something? Yeah, but not like I have a free day, but I need a nap. Have fun with your tortured dogs. But I didn't even feel like pissy with Eileen at this moment. But like when I was watching it, I didn't care. That stuff comes later.

But I want to skip to real life really quick because this is what's happening on Twitter with it. So good. And thank you, Cindy C. on the Case Case for posting these things for us. So, first is Lisa Vanderpump. Okay, Lisa is responding to Eileen's

blog, and this is a quote from Eileen's blog. Lisa V.'s support of the Stop Euland Forever is wonderful. I was invited to the protest, And this is a quote from Eileen's blog. waiting at dinner. I'm not going to apologize for being a working mother of a 12-year-old who made the decision to spend a day at home with her son. Should I have to? I guess next week all of us and our issues are packing up and headed to Dubai. I wonder if there are any dogs there I can murder.

So, that's a bit much. That's a bit much. I think she was also, that's, I don't think that Lisa was insinuating that. That's a little bit extreme. Yeah, she, Lisa was insinuating that. That's a little bit extreme. Yeah. So Lisa was saying, oh, your day off is more important than, you know, torture dogs. Great.

Have a good day off. Like she was, she was being a guilt mongerer, but I mean, come on, Eileen, like too much. Too much. You just said, come on, Eileen. Come on, Eileen. Shut the fuck up and get your own story. Can story. I will say this in Eileen's defense. This is, it's not to take away from the cause, because it's a very noble cause,

and it's terrible what's happening to these dogs, etc. But this is also a very, very specific charitable cause that, you know, I think, you know i think you know there are for me personally i think that there are just larger things that i would rather you know give up my day like to have to go from malibu all the way down to macarthur park to do a march for dogs that are being slaughtered in china i mean it's like a know, it's a legitimate cause. But like, maybe, you know, I don't totally, I don't ding her necessarily.

I wouldn't want to go either. It sounds painful as hell to me. I don't blame her for not wanting to go. I just think that it's when you're on a TV show and you're pissed off at Lisa and trying to talk shit about her in every episode to her face and behind her back. And then she has an event,

and then you don't go, that's like a slam. It's like if you don't like somebody, but you still don't invite them to your party. In normal life, that's normal, but on a Housewives show, you're kind of refusing to shoot with that person. It's like different on a Housewives show.

It's like bitchier on a Housewives show. Yeah, it is. Somehow. And that's how they all get at each other. They don't go to each other's thing. But end of this this is that lisa tweeted back she says i do have great empathy for humans and support many causes important to me at youtube whatever blah blah and then she puts at the end at eileen underscore davidson re your blog. And then it's just an emoji of her giving her the finger. It's just the fuck you emoji.

Oh, goodness. Here we go. Oh, real world. Okay, so back to the show. So after Lisa makes this incredibly pass-regressive comment to Eileen, that's when Eileen's like, all right, you know, let's clear the air. We have to discuss. We have to discuss. So it's like, oh,, you know, let's clear the air. We have to discuss. We have to discuss. So it's like, oh, here we go again.

It's about to happen. I still feel awkward between me and Lisa Vanderpump because, and then here we go. The same old shit. But it's a little different this time because then we get a flashback to three days ago in a minivan. Lisa Rinna tells Lisa Vanderpump that,pump that oh well you know eileen said that

you're manipulative uh like rinna what are you doing yes i mean i get it i know what you're doing you are moving the story along but real in in like a real world like why would you say that why would you do that i mean oh my goodness these are so stupid so she tells vanderpump that yeah she says eileen says you're manipulative and then apparently they had this conversation on the bus that we don't see the whole thing which is beverly hills is also they also classically leave out parts of scenes and then show them a year later. So wait for the end of this. So we're watching Memento. Oh, yes. Except it doesn't make sense backwards or forwards.

Yeah. So this apparently was them on a bus. She said, Eileen calls you manipulative. And then it didn't show what Lisa said. But when they cut back to the table and Lisa is saying, Lisa says, okay, what is it exactly that you guys are saying? What is it that I've done exactly

that is the reason that you're saying I'm manipulating you? Yeah. And they start trying to come up with stuff. And Rinna's like, well, and then Vanderpump says, oh, like the time in Dubai when I manipulated you into going, or Amsterdam, when I manipulated you into going shopping with Kim. And then they show a clip of Lisa like, let's all make up and go shopping.

Which we're only left to guess that she brought that up because that's what the thing was in the bus. Like, you're manipulative like that time in Amsterdam when you tried. Because why else would she bring that up? It's so random yeah it was that was such a bizarre like piece of like like a evidence or whatever like a bizarre example of manipulation and then lisa was like all right well i was just trying to make things better that's all which she was i mean and then she said did i manipulate her into saying i love you and then it cuts to the dinner where she's like, Kim, you're a good person, okay? And I love you, Kim Richards.

So like, did I manipulate that? And Eileen is getting pissed because she's like, that's not what we're talking about. That's not what we're talking about is the manipulation thing. Well, yes, you brought up manipulation. She asked you why she's manipulative. You brought up manipulation. She asked you why she's manipulative. You haven't been able to name one thing except something from the bus that possibly Rinna mentioned that happened in Amsterdam that she's now defending herself against.

That's what she's talking about, Eileen. What do you want her to talk about? Like, it's exactly what you set up. Exactly. So then Eileen comes back again and she goes, look, that's not what we're talking about. I mean, it's – and Rinna's like, yeah, I don't know. Rinna's head is spinning at this point. Rinna is like... You know what Rinna looks...

At this point, Rinna is like, you know, the little board game Trouble, when you push down the thing and the dice goes, like, bouncing around in the little plastic thing? That's what's going on inside Rinna's head right now. Someone just keeps popping Rinna's head, and the die inside her head is like... She is just like... She is, like, trying to keep up. She's like, wait, what who set am i on and if i say this am i being manipulated right now or am i thinking for myself right i can't tell she was just like no one makes it easier because eileen's like oh so manipulation i mean

look lisa someone calling you manipulative it's not like i'm reinventing the wheel here which is true it doesn't really make sense but i guess what she's trying to say is that everybody already knows that which of course so why does it need to be your storyline lame ass well and then why are you mad at if you know someone's manipulative and manipulative and then you feel that you're being manipulated or whatever then why are you mad you you know what you're getting you know what you're what you were doing who you were dealing with and so rena starts going crazy you know poppy head and she goes okay maybe it's not manipulation maybe it's just directional okay like she like she directs people

in one way like how fucking spineless are you that that's all you need is someone to say something and then you go off and you set off and start like a season long campaign against somebody like get the fuck over it, lady. OK, if some if you're that easy to be manipulated, how are you not in a labor camp at this point? Honestly, I don't believe it. You're too rich to be easily manipulated. And then Kyle Kyle said something right around here, right? Well, no, this is when Kyle starts saying. Oh, there she goes again deflecting eileen so we

we have a second hold on because she goes why are you even talking about kim okay so then the questions about vanderpump rena brings up lisa asking okay so this is where the bipolar thing comes up so rena goes it's like when you were telling me no eileen brings it up she says this is the bipolar thing we're talking about um thatolanda called Rinna bipolar. How does that have anything to do with Lisa? The thing that they were talking about was that Lisa supposedly called and texted Lisa Rinna and was like, aren't you so mad that Yolanda called you bipolar? Aren't you so mad? I would be mad. That's what they allege, which I actually kind of believe. Yes, I do too. Well, the first time Rinna says it, it's like when you were talking about manipulative and you said, aren't you more upset?

Yes. Why aren't you so upset? And Lisa didn't deny it. She was like, oh, you know, blah, blah, blah. I never texted you that. Well, the first time Rinna said it, Lisa didn't deny anything. She just let the conversation go. Then they started talking about other stuff.

Then Eileen brought it back around to this bipolar thing. She's like, wait, it's this bipolar thing. I mean, look, Lisa, here's what I'm saying. Renna told me. She told me that you call her and you text her and you kept talking about this Yolanda thing. As if Vanderpump went, wait, I didn't text you. She went, wait, I didn't text you. And Renna said, okay, then you called me.

And she said, we don't speak on the phone. She goes, we have spoken on the phone. And Vanderpump goes, well, today I called you. And she said, no, Lisa. Strange defense. Oh, today, yes. She's getting Bill Clinton technical about shit. But she never denied saying it.

Well, here's one thing that makes me upset about Lisa. Because, you know, I love her. I love her. And I always think that even through all this bullshit, I always feel like she's in the right. But she defends herself badly when she's called. Like, when they call her shit. Like, what happened with magazine scandal, tabloid scandal two seasons ago. In this case, she should have been like, darling, yeah, I mean, yes, we talked about it, because I was

wondering, like, did it upset you? I wasn't trying to manipulate you. I was actually, I was wondering, you know, like, she could have just said that. She could have just said, yeah, I did say that to you, because I was just curious. And Rinna was pissed off the first, I'd like to point out that Vanderpump, of course, called

her and was like, aren't you going to tell off Yolander? Of course she did! But that's not manipulation that's girls talking on the phone. First of all. And second of all who started all of this? Who? Eileen. Eileen went back to Rinna and said oh well Yolanda they even show a clip of it with Eileen's stomach hanging out

of that cutout dress. That was the most unfortunate scene and I love that they showed it again. And she's like well Yolanda suggested that you're bipolar. And then rena sets off because that's when she said well yolanda may not have said i'm bipolar but by suggesting it on tv she is saying it which is the same thing she did so she's already being a hypocrite and eileen was the one who started all this in the first place and eileen's the one trying to manipulate rena exactly and we haven't even gotten to the scene in the luggage store which is like, which confirms everything.

But the thing is that like, yeah, that's the thing, you know, that, you know, because Lisa Vanderpump, I think what happens is when she gets attacked, she doesn't have her thoughts together yet and she doesn't want her words to be used against her.

So the first thing she does is she always just denies. She always says, no, no, no. But but the truth is she could have just been like yeah i was curious you know we're talking about it like you know the way like you said the way girls talk like you know like what didn't that upset you that would upset me you know what you should do you should say this yeah you know what you do because you know what by the way that's those are like normal conversations that people have like what should you say what should you say in that situation you know yes Angie our friend Angie she was just she was texting uh like me and our other friend David earlier about a situation she was having and just asking like wonder what and I would say well you should say this or you could say this or say this doesn't mean I'm manipulating Angie I'm just saying

like this this is what I think you know or like you know and I'm sure I will probably text later and say oh so whatever happened with that situation or what did you say think, you know, or like, you know, and I'm sure I will probably text later and say, oh, so whatever happened with that situation? Or what did you say? Oh, what? You know, that's people talk. People. Yes. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. I like when when Lisa told Lisa when Vanderpump told Renna. Yes, darling. But the reason I do I ask you these things is because you have a delayed reaction to things, you know? And one minute you're smiling and you're fine with it, and then

the next minute, you know, you're throwing glasses at turkey necks. You know what I mean? What am I supposed to do about it, darling? And then Rinna's like, that's true. I do do that. That's so true, Lisa. That's true. I own that baby. I own it. Eileen gets all mad. She's like, no, no, no, that's not what we're talking about.

Eileen, get a fucking story already. So now the argument is not whether Lisa mentioned it to Yolanda because Lisa already said that she asked her about it. She never denied it. Now it's whether it was on iMessage or whether it's a phone call. And now the next four weeks is going to be this big proof

that Rinna has been called by Lisa or some shit. Well, then Kyle comes in, trying to fix the situation, which she doesn't, and she's like, well, you know, I think, you know, we're all like, someone says, well, just a lot of strong women, but then like, we're just, you're a strong woman, and you're

a strong woman, and you're a strong woman, and Kyle's like, well, actually, I don't think Lisa's a strong woman. I think she's a follower. And then Rinna goes, hey, I'm a strong woman. Wah, wah, wah, wah. A strong woman doesn't whine about Lisa's a strong woman. I think she's a follower. And then Rinne goes, hey, I'm a strong woman. A strong woman doesn't whine about not being a strong woman. You should have seen me and Josie Bissette in 1991 taking a road trip across the country. I was a strong woman doing my Thelma and Louise. One time Josie Bissette locked herself out of the house and I had to lift her up the window.

I mean, that's strength. That is strength right there. Baby. Have you ever burned down Melrose Place? That's strength. Okay, baby. Hey, baby, one time I challenged Doug Savant to an arm wrestling match. Okay, baby

and I won. That's right, baby, and I own it. My external laugh has gotten so crazy sounding, by the way. and I won. That's right, baby, and I own it. My least original laugh has gotten so crazy sounding, by the way. Wait, what'd you say? I said my least original laugh has gotten so crazy. I wonder how it sounds to people at home, like, in their ears, like that.

We've been asked multiple times, please stop. You're killing me. We can't. Not in a good way. Sorry. Sorry. Okay, so let me to laugh. You're killing me. We can't. We can't. Not in a good way. Sorry. Sorry. Okay, so let me see. Who's trying to manipulate again? Eileen is so bad at this that she's getting frustrated and almost hitting the table because she cannot get her way.

Girl, you are the worst. You've manipulated this whole thing from the beginning, and your fingerprints are all over it, and you're on camera doing it. Okay? So I don't know who you think you're kidding. Calling Lisa Vanderpump manipulative? Of course she's manipulative! But she's good at it. You suck, girl! Pick a page! It also doesn't have anything to do

with Eileen's central issue. Maybe it does. Her main issue is that she's upset, obviously, from the thing with the Hamptons, right? And she's upset because you know, she was annoyed at Lisa and she didn't get the apology that she wanted, which is a legit, you know, issue to

have. And she's just been really resentful of it. Maybe she thinks the manipulation pertains to it because she feels like Lisa is manipulating a situation to make Eileen look like the crazy one, which she sort of is being. But like, at this point, by her now going on this campaign about how Lisa's manipulative,

Eileen is really like, what does this have to do with your real central issue with her? Now she's just angry at Lisa. I think it was like that from the beginning, when she started that whole thing with Vanderpump and Palm Springs. I think Lisa Vanderpump was being bitchy, Eileen couldn't shoot it down and then has now turned it into a season long thing that

doesn't even have to do with that. I mean, if people just started watching this show a few weeks ago, they wouldn't even know what Eileen's talking about because she still refuses to say Lisa was suggesting that I'm a husband stealer at that dinner party and it was embarrassing. She still won't say it because it's true and she

won't own up to it. So for someone who wants everybody to own up to their own shit all the time, how about you talking about the fact that you're on your third marriage and you stole this one flat out, cheated with him for three years. Just admit it. No one cares.

You're in Beverly Hills, girl. I think that Eileen, she did not, whatever the issues are that bother her about it, she didn't really present them to Lisa Vanderpump correctly. And so Lisa just gets this one version and is like, okay, whatever. And so then Eileen doesn't get the apology that she wants.

And it burns her up inside. And you know what the sad thing is? As much as I'm trashing Eileen, I've been there a million times because I'm a passive-aggressive little bitch. And if a small thing can really annoy me, and then the resentment just builds in me, and then next thing you know, I am trashing the person. So I

get it. It doesn't mean it's right, though. It's my fault. It's my problem. Well, if she had never talked about it with her, and that one little thing kept building and building, and finally she had the nerve and she just blew up, that would actually be somewhat understandable. But she's talked about it she's gotten multiple multiple apologies about it then she's had like lunches behind the back to talk about it on camera about how terrible she is and how blah blah blah it's like you've done way worse than she ever did she made a snotty comment

at a dinner party you've made the entire season about trying to bring somebody down that's just plain smarter than you girl sorry you're terrible again again i i do also believe as i said last week i do think that they're and as katherine echoed there's a cultural issue for sure i do think they just don't communicate with each other like they're not hearing each other because again there's i think that lisa vanderpump has, like, crusty British humor. And Eileen is more of a sensitive soul. And they don't, they're just not hearing each other. And I think, you know, that actually, I think, accounts for a huge amount of it, too. And when Catherine said it, I forget if it was now or if it was on the plane or something, when Catherine was like, I just think that they have a cultural issue.

now or if it was on the plane or something when Catherine's like I just think that they have a cultural issue I kind of think at the core if we just want to look at it as really the crux of it I think that's the I think that's the crux of it that's the truth well I think it's also a cultural cultural issue that the American girl has to make a huge drama out of fucking nothing

and keep it going on the entire time and the British one whereas the British one is just like they call her passive aggressive she's not really she's aggressive like she's just aggressive she doesn't really do it in a passive way she might be funnily aggressive but she was aggressive i mean i i think that she was going after eileen in a way that you don't but i do i think that she was i think lisa was being a total bitch i think it's just how you deal with it after these people are amateurs they cannot They cannot do it. Eileen then, of course, goes off to have another scene

with Rinna about their shopping. And poor Eileen is in this Laura Ashley flower febreze, terrible dress, in a strip mall luggage shop. Softcore Skinamax 1994. Girl. That luggage shop was one of those

strip mall things on Fairfax. It's like a little tiny thing with some guy in the back going i make 50 and they're like 20 okay that's like that's the luggage shop yeah and it goes into fucking uh eileen again but i can't believe she treated me like that and in the hamptons and look, Lisa, now she's manipulated you. Because then she and Kyle teamed up and they turned the whole thing into being about you and how you're the one who's weak. Instead of it being about how they manipulated you. It's like you're not even manipulating.

Now you're just flat out ordering. And Rinna has these big saucer eyes and she's just nodding going, yeah, you're right. You're right. They did do that i'm like taking notes so now she can go yell at them for what eileen said again and then and then at one point lisa was like huh she was like she didn't follow the logic one point then eileen is literally like well you know that time when you were like remember when you were really upset about the the the bipolar thing and so they said this because you were really upset about the the bipolar thing and so they said this because you were really upset about the

bipolar thing and remember that she was basically like literally just like feeding her the lines I was like you are the one being manipulative here I mean please stop like you're just not allowed remember when you were upset about that bipolar thing that I was the one to tell you in the first place remember aren't you mad about that shouldn't you be

angry about that right now be mad be mad do it right now what's mad. Be mad. Do it right now. What's it called when you're like trying to do something, but then like, you know what I mean? And she's putting her hands up to her chest. And Eileen goes, deflection. Yes, deflection. That's what they were doing. Deflection, right? Yes, you've learned. Good for you.

Now buy me a suitcase. Yeah, I mean, Eileen, you can't go accusing people of being manipulative and then go on camera and literally feed lisa renner what her emotional state should be i just wrote these two are idiots both of these two are fucking idiots you've got one trying to be a mastermind girl you can't even keep your fucking husband off the internet poker sites and then you've got the other one trying to say she's a pleaser when she's going out of her way to piss every single person in the cast off on purpose well i here's the thing because eileen was mad because she was like you know i feel like you know uh you

know when we met at the beach you had like a lot of things to say but then when you're around those other girls you get intimidated and you know it's sort of strange manners well it's obviously eileen was basically trying to manipulate her into saying say the things you said to me to them. Like, say something to them, you know? Girl, if I said half the shit out loud that I say to you or to my other best friends, I'd be strung up in the street. Yeah. Well, Lorena's like, well, I just feel more open with you, baby. Which is like, that's what's called being like, you're closer friends with Eileen than you are with them.

So you might not say these things to them. And who says at a dinner party, hey, Yolanda's totally faking it, right, guys? No, it's rude. Who are you, Eileen? That's why you ain't got no friends, Eileen. So this is the best, I think the best part of the episode, even though this was all nuts. Rinna whips out her biggest weapon, her cell phone. That's like, Wikipedia is Rinna's machine gun, for whatever reason.

Unfortunately, she hasn't learned to shoot it yet. But she reads it, and she's like, scapegoat. A person that is used to lay the blame on someone else for all that goes wrong. No, a person, object, or thing that is used to lay the blame on for all that goes wrong uh no a person object or thing that is used to lay the blame on for all that goes wrong uh really okay so who called you bipolar yeah yolanda who told you eileen uh so how who's the scapegoat yeah i don't think blaming for everything right now i actually don't think that there's any yeah i was gonna say i don't think the only one who's really a scapegoat is lisa in this case everyone literally just

defined what they're doing to lisa vanderpump all season long i mean with the comments about the kids with now the manipulation with everything lisa's the scapegoat here vanderpump specifically so it's like this is the thing that makes me nuts because Lisa is wrong in so many situations. If one of you had a fucking ounce of brain in you, it wouldn't be that hard to take her down. But you're all too stupid to do it. Keep trying, darling. Get back in line.

All right, let's go watch some dogs get tortured. Just kidding. So what's next after the luggage scene? Well, this was actually, I went out of order a little bit. They did the march on Yulin. They show up at some park with a fountain of balloons. Yeah.

And walk around it and then start protesting at a church. Yeah, they had like a really disorganized march. They were sort of like wandering the streets. And they finally were like, the Chinese embassy is down the street. You're actually at a church right now. Well, child molestation too then, darling. That was a busy day, darling. It was like three things I protested that day.

Yeah. Stop yuling forever. Stop yuling forever. Then come to Pump. Yes, they've always got to add their brand at the end. Save the dogs. Now let's have a drink at Pump. The new Pump Session CD is out.

Let's go listen. No one has tortured the $ a drink at Pump. The new Pump Session CD is out. Let's go listen. No one has tortured the $35 salmon at Pump. Let's go there. Save the dogs, but not the tuna. Tuna Tartare for everyone. So next up is Erica Jane and the rest of the gang over in New York. They're going on the private plane, Don Rickles' private plane.

I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. It's not private. I don't give a fuck. Southwest. South-Bast. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.

So, Erica... I can't put down my tray because we're about to take off. I don't give a fuck. I'll keep it up. My tray. I'm using Wi-Fi right now. I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck. Got to put my seatbelt on. Fine. I don't give a fuck. I'm going to talk to myself as we take off. Yeah, that's right. I don't give a fuck I don't give a fuck gotta put my seatbelt on fine I don't give a fuck I'm gonna talk to my cell phone as we take off yeah that's right I don't give a fuck

that's right I don't give a fuck now I can recline cause we're in the air I don't give a fuck I'll recline now maybe I'll recline later I don't give a fuck

I'll recline whenever I want you think I don't eat I just ate a peanut fuck you I don't give a fuck oh great it's cocktail service now fine

I'll have a cocktail I don't give a fuck I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck, girl. So they all get on the plane, and Catherine, who suddenly has hearing again and now feels bad about not

hearing all the horrible things that were coming out of her mouth at Don Rickles' house, goes up and she's like, I'm gonna apologize to the I'm gonna apologize to the senior citizen! She gets her to do it, and of course Yol like oh look it's katherine katherine this is your chance to say sorry to the old person okay do it go you are on subtle subtle yeah way to go yolanda with him like that also kind of like totally undermines the apology if you think about it because it's like if if katherine was about apologize and then Yolanda's like, now you can apologize.

It makes it seem like she's only apologizing because Yolanda said so. Yeah. Luckily it's Don Rickles and he didn't care. See, I'm a good friend to you, Don Rickles, because I made that idiot apologize to you, okay? He's like, look, I get deaf people. Enjoy your flight, honey. Now, Erica, be quiet, Erica. Put down your tray, Erica.

I don't give a fuck. Fine. Fuck. Well, you can tell Erica's in her alter personality that's exactly the same as her, except it wears baggy, terrible patterns. That's the only difference I can tell so far between Erica Girardi and Erica Jane. Terrible, baggy clothes with unintelligible patterns. Yeah. Today she's wearing some kind of like black and white Christmas sweater that's down to her knees, like a baggy sweater.

And then it has like a two-faced person in the middle who i'm only assuming is her like literally i think she had herself printed onto a christmas sweater like oh now you're a lawyer's wife you're in a sweater huge difference so they fly to new york and they come to the hotel and everything and then they go up to the the jewel suite where it's a suite that's decorated with jewels, which to me looked ridiculous. But, you know, they were like, oh, this is the most beautiful suite in all of Manhattan. Finally, some jewels that don't go to cancer children. Oh, those little upstagers.

Welcome to the lime jewel suite. Take it, Camille. So then what was amusing to me was they then go upstairs, right, to look at the view. Oh, at first, Yolanda sees a grand piano. And she's like, it's a chance to get my husband to finger me. And she goes and sits at the piano. And she's like, look at me playing piano. And then David's like, oh, yeah, good luck with that.

Yeah, play that piano. Having fun. Okay, let me show you. And then he comes over and plays. He's such an asshole. And then he's like, yeah, only your friends would applaud for Frere Jacques. I'm like, shut up, Ave Maria, ten times in a row. I thought he wasn't saying it like your friends, like her friends specifically.

I thought he was saying like a general note, like only your friends will ever clap for that. Either way. I take it the same way. That is how he said it. I still take it the same way. You're absolutely right in how you heard it. And he's still a horrible human being. So then they go upstairs to this view from this balcony.

And this is what was fascinating to me. Erica flipped her shit. She's like, Wow! This is amazing! Wow! And She's like, this is amazing. Wow. And I was like, this is the first time we've actually seen Erica show some unbridled emotion. It was really weird. Did you notice that?

No. I didn't. I think the sweater threw me off. Well, she changed. But I think I turned Erica off after that. Well, she was wearing these high boots. She actually looked great. She was wearing these really high boots and a black mini...

Well, she was wearing a dress. I don't know what you call them. Yeah, but she had sleeves and shoulder pads this time. I liked it. I liked her look. I thought she looked great. Everybody walked out there and went, wow, wow, wow, wow. But Erica was going crazy.

She's like, wow, wow. I do give a fuck. Wow. But I thought it was really crazy. She's like, wow, wow. I do give a fuck. Wow. But I thought it was really interesting. It felt like for a second there, she actually did let down her guard. She was emotional. She was expressing excitement. We haven't seen that all season.

Emotional. She was saying wow really loud. Well, for Erica, that's a lot. For Erica, that is a lot. I know that song. Verosaka. Verosaka. Verosaka.

Verosaka. You've just killed the German language. Thank you. Is that German? French. Damn you confusing accents. I also have to point out that when they went into that jewel suite hotel room

they're like, you should come up and look at the view of New York City. Meanwhile, they're in a high rise and Yolanda's backdrop is the view of New York City because it's door to ceiling windows. It's like, look out the window. But now it has patio furniture.

Wow! I was like, look out the window. But now it has patchy furniture. Ooh. Wah! Wah! Wah! So, like, they go upstairs. Thank you.

I like you going, I do give a fuck. Wah! Rhonda, you're having a delayed reaction, like Lisa Rinna. And Mal is stabbing you in the throat with a water glass or something. So, this is when Yolanda gives like a toast and she's like, my love, we got married. And the first thing I did was I went down. I was like, I'm sure you did. You had to go down in order to get married, darling.

After you got married, he went down. Yeah. But the funny thing is, so she's giving a toast to everyone, to all my friends who support me, my real friends. And I love David Foster somewhere around here. He's toast to everyone, to all my friends who support me, my real friends. And I love David Foster. Somewhere around here, he's like, I'm so glad my wife is out. And she's like, yes, it's so great to be out here. And you know, inside, he's like, no, out of the house.

Out of my house. And he literally did, though. He was like, I would like to give a toast to my wife for not being in bed for the first time in 10 months. Oh, the great robe. We're going to burn that white robe. I'm i'm so sick of it she's like but i look so sexy in the robe it's like yes and we're gonna burn it yeah oh hugs oh oh and then she of course i would do anything for these people who came to my lime opening yolanda is acting like she was just cast in the vagina monologue. People are all flying out there to see her. Vagina monologue.

And you know what? I don't think that it's fair for her to shame people who could not fly across the country for a thing. It's just really unreasonable. If it was one thing if she was having a dinner in Beverly Hills and no one showed up, that I would understand. But like, I mean, asking people to fly across the country, even if it's on Bravo's

time, even if it's like in Erica's thing, that's like a really big ask. I'm sorry. Well, the leases couldn't come, which is too bad that they have more important things to do. But, you know, Brandy or Twitch couldn't come either, but you know, it's okay because they're really busy. It's probably better. I'm like, okay, so

the leases are assholes Brandy and Twitch are not assholes and you don't even mention Eileen which is why it's considering Eileen just dead at the paragraph to raging about someone else making a comment like that about her like why is it so okay for Yolanda to say that no one's having a fit but

Eileen needs to have a fucking page long rant it's somebody else for saying the same thing. Like, what's the difference? Hypocrite. Hypocrite. Hypocrite. So David, we catch David in some

some mic'd moments that I don't think he knows were mic'd. Oh yeah. This is great. Yeah, they're back down in the apartment and while Eric is telling us I can't buy the jewelry. I leave that up the top.

If I like something I email his secretary the budget. And then I say, wait till he's stopped complaining about me and then ask him. Oh, my God. Great. This sounds like an amazing marriage. Yeah. Poor, bought, rented car. Oddly enough.

Leased car. Isn't it weird that oddly enough, I was not offended by that. Because in my mind, I was thinking, well, he probably wants to get it for her. But maybe I was reading too much into it. I'm not offended, but that woman, her first episode was walking around asking for a budget for pool tiles. That's true.

She's a careful woman. She knows it. She knows her job. She doesn't give a fuck. Look, I ain't a ho-shamer, and at least she's a proud ho. That I will always give her. At least she's not pretending she earned it, you know? I mean, she did earn it. She earns it every day, in a way.

I mean, she earns money on her own. She definitely earns money on her own. You know? But, you know. With her badge. Okay, so the next thing. Oh, yeah. So the off-mic moment.

So David, Kyle is sitting there playing with her hair. I can't believe she still has hair. And next to her is David and what's his face? Don Rickles. And they're just having a normal talk. Don's like, oh, love New York. I thought it was David and his

friend. It was David and his friend. It wasn't Don Rickles. Oh, I thought it was Rickles. Was it the Jewelry Queen? Some guy named Tom. Yeah, so he's talking toles. Was it the Jewelry Queen? Oh. Yeah, so he's talking to some guy and he's like, well, you know, how are you, David? Have you been feeling better? Which I thought was saddlarious because, you know,

David, poor his poor friends. They're probably like, God, please just stop talking about your goddamn wife being sick. Like, do you feel better, David? Yeah, a little, but I do a little, but it's a stretch. And he said, well, you Like, do you feel better, David? Yeah, a little. But I do a little. But it's a stretch. And he said, well, you know, now you guys can.

She's feeling a little better. So now you can get back to where you were. And he goes, I don't know how that's going to happen. Yeah. A little slam. I thought it was actually pretty sad. I thought it was a sad moment. It was sad.

But for who? For all of them. I mean, as much as David Foster is like a douchebag, I mean, it's sad. It is actually sad that their marriage is basically crumbled because of the situation. You know, that's sad. I think it's sad. I mean, we're laughing about it, but it's sad. I've always thought they were so full of shit, I guess. I just don't care.

No, I mean, it's not that I care that much, but I feel like when you see that, when you see them putting up a front, and you see this husband, he's, like, exasperated. I mean, listen, David Foster, he's been through so many wives, so that's, you know, whatever. You know, it's a little shallow for him not to be supportive. But at the same time, his wife has gone cuckoo.

Yeah. You know, and you can see her, she can see that her her marriage is falling apart and she's she's feeling guilty and we know it's i do think i despite all the shit we talk about like what like what's the disease or whatever you know it's sad because you can see she wants to be married to him she really wants to be in this marriage and. And she knows she's losing it. She knows because of her own mashugana, she is losing it. And she can't help herself. I'll need to Google this later.

But just a warning that I'm not sure if this is absolutely true. I know everybody's shocked. But I think she was the one who filed. I don't think he did. I think she filed, from what I read a couple months ago, she filed divorce because he wouldn't pay her medical bills. Like, she's going on all of these medical journeys across the country or across the world. And he's like, no, no. And so she is still getting money from Mohammed.

So I heard that she's the one who filed against him because she's not going to take that. And if she's got a prenup anyway and he's not going to pay, what's the payment of being married to you? Oh, jeez. So I don't feel bad for her. She's full of shit. She keeps marrying rich old people to take care of her and when they want to take it back. Well, I don't know if that's true. Maybe, you know, if you're right,

if I'm wrong, then I agree with you. If I'm right, then fuck her. I'm the shell of the woman. He lost his wingman. So, you know, of course he's impatient because I'm right, then fuck her. I'm the shell of the woman. He lost his wingman, so you know, of course he's impatient because I'm on my journey. And then they just show David looking away, annoyed over and over again. They showed the same clip of

him looking away, I think, ten times. Yeah, it was awkward. There are a couple of phonies. Fuck them. And that's Beverly Hills. That is Beverly Hills. What an episode full of all sorts of stuff. Okay, so

let's move on. Oh no, I have to read you one quote, because on our break I read this quote that someone posted. Camelia Stan posted this on our Facebook from Lisa Vanderpump's blog this week on Bravo. It says, da da da, oh, da-da-da,

da-da-da. Oh, and to the housewives that insinuate they are being manipulated and don't take responsibility for their own choices and actions,

I have some sound advice. Dot, dot, dot. Get a fucking life. Ha. She's right. By the way, one thing we have not discussed is the fact that

for all these women to be blaming each other for being manipulative one has to remember that they are being produced there are producers who are clearly manipulating all of you guys so come on now they probably don't even have to do anything they're like okay just go be stupid yeah they're stupid yeah exactly anyway um before we move on to vanderpump rules i think we need a palate cleanser. Or more specifically, we need to clear the phlegm. How lucky are you to have me teach you about me?

Clear the phlegm. This is when we look at Caroline Fleming's Instagram. Caroline Fleming from Ladies of London. Ronnie, do you have one that you want to do? Okay, I'll go first. ladies of london ronnie you have one that you okay i'll go first um my favorite today is a picture of caroline fleming i guess a younger caroline fleming not that she looks old now she still looks good but i'm just guessing maybe it's the filter but she's hugging herself shirtless wearing pantyhose and it's called beautiful legs by caroline Fleming. And then under her butt, there's a signature, Caroline Fleming.

And then under that, memories. What does that mean? Memories. Do your pantyhose need to remember shit? I don't want to know what those pantyhose remember, Caroline Fleming. I remember when my great, great, great, great, great grandmommy wore nothing but pantyhose in the great battle of Denmark versus France.

I remember the first time I wore the pantyhose and took them off and hung them up. My great, great, great granduncle took them off the hanger and he strangled your great-great-grandfather with them. Oh, memories. Dot, dot, dot. Heart.

Hashtag rye bread. Her caption is, happy shopping to all of you lovelies living in the England. Dash. So happy it's possible for you to buy my beautiful leg stockings for this week only at

www.shellax.com- Hope you enjoy them. X space X space X. Oh, that's a triple X space day. She's like, P.S. I am still looking for more Mickey Mouse plates. I do find them so lovely. It is nice to see her plugging her own product for a change.

She's like, look at the salted pepper shaker I found in the Ross dressing for Lessing. At Ross dressing for Lessing. At salt. At pepper. Hashtag. Hashtag grocery aisle. Hashtag rickety cart. Hashtag rye bread.

Hashtag avocado. t-cart hashtag rye bread hashtag avocado the picture that I like is um Caroline she's in sort of like exercise clothing she's standing up against the against the wall barefoot on her

toes and her arms are straight forward as if she were carrying like a giant platter or something her fists are curled up her eyes are closed she's like feeling sunlight, but she's indoors. She's in a wall. And her caption says, Thank you so much

at TrueBeUp and at 3D Movement for bringing out my physical strength in me in just a couple of months. To all you lovely people out there, please try this wonderful group of incredible trainers. I don't think I had it in me having refused the gym for the last

20 years, and now I'm not only motivated, but actually loving the process of getting truly fit. X space X. Haven't you been doing, like, standing on your head for 20 years doing yoga? Who cares if you go to a gym? Get out of here like you just started

working out yesterday because of a 3D app. Shut up. P.S. If there's anyone at TrueBee app who has seen my Disney dishes from my childhood, please send along a note. Thank you so much. They're very dear to me. Uh. Clear the

flame. What a redonculous person love it Please come back ladies of London I know please please Please So Now why don't we move on to You know we talked so much about

Beverly Hills you almost would forget That there was an entire Crazy stupid season finale of Vanderpump Rules. Oh, my God. An amazing one. And this is episode 420. 4.20. God bless you, you little drug addicts.

Congratulations. Hugs. So it starts off with Brittany doing dishes in Jack's studio. She's doing them because she's afraid that Jack's will be mad if they're not ready when he comes home. Oh, God, you fucking pissant. At least Erica Jane gets a plane. What the fuck do you get? Some shit-smelling studio apartment in an air-conditioned with cardboard taped over it.

God forbid you make Jack's mad by not doing the dishes. I mean, Jack says later on that he's a clean freak. air-conditioned with cardboard taped over it. God forbid you make Jax mad by not doing the dishes. Jax says later on that he's a clean freak. I have a hard time believing that. His penis would disagree. Yeah. So Jax comes back. He's in a pissy mood, and he's like,

court was fine, but the flying, the sleeping, the no eating, that's what's bothering me. And then he's like, and also there's no sunglasses to steal and i couldn't cheat on anyone that's the worst i already have all the stds i couldn't get a new one so i mean like what's the point i just have to keep my nose clean you know that's like all i have to do dude you've got white shit on your nose right now is meth like the new ajax for the nose well then he's like yeah it's like my tv was stuck in german and britney goes oh my god that's the worst finally britney's upset about something it's not understanding daytime tv you know what the worst is is getting a

misdemeanor and paying a huge fine but you know german being stuck onto your tv that's pretty bad too well the vanderpump's paid it yeah so made it jacks jacks is being super bratty i mean look at this closet like look at it and why didn't you just clean it and she goes oh no he goes why can't you help me get an apartment she goes i couldn't i got a boob job like every homeless person on the street Has these giant breasts that they've been donated I would get a home But I just can't Oh my god

He's like well you still could get on the computer She's like no I mean he obviously isn't Like He's freaking out so he's doing whatever he can To like push her away He's like oh shit I have a girlfriend Like I don't want to be with her anymore So I'm going gonna make it seem like it's her fault which is classic jacks and

also you can find no fault with britney i mean you can do that with some girls but this girl literally has done nothing yeah literally she's been actually very nice and very like reasonable even towards some of the crazies like Lawler and Stassi. She's actually really cool and nice. I know. Well, now, granted, she's just waiting for an offer for some other show and she's going to dump his ass. But still, she's a very nice... I wouldn't even call her a gold digger.

It's like old discarded chicken bones digger. I don't know what she is, but they're on TV. Yeah. old digger it's like old discarded chicken bones digger i don't know what she is but they're on tv yeah so meanwhile to uh like a point counterpoint we have stassi in her new apartment and she's like moving in and she's talking about how like she finally found an apartment she's like because i never let go of my standards and then cut to kristin walking in the door i was like well to be fair those were her standards when we met her. So I will never let go of my low standards. She's like, so really with this apartment, I've really gone above and beyond. How did she get that apartment?

Where is it? That apartment is huge and it's very nice. That's got to be like Deep Val, right? No, I think it's probably either East Hollywood or might be someplace like Mid-City. Okay. I need to know where this apartment someplace like Mid-City. Okay. I need to know where this is from. We need to listen. Okay.

Yeah. I have nothing to say until I get further evidence. Okay. So, yeah. So then, like, Kristen and Stassi are like, let's have champagne. Seriously? Let's get wasted. Yeah.

Like, congratulations. Like, I have Robin's egg blue on my walls. Like, who does that me my standards it's so good to like have my best friend back you know like flowers mean friendships to new beginnings and then cut to kristin like cleaning up stassi's floor wiping stuff off the floor yeah exactly so then we go back to jax and Brittany where Jax is just freaking out. He's like, I can't escape you, which is so like – he's being such a baby. I should get something out of this too.

Yeah. He's like, this is a relationship. It's 50-50. I've got to get something out of it too. Well, you've already got bigger tits than me. What else do you want? Yeah. You're getting pussy out of it.

That's all you wanted. Exactly. Brittany. Well, how do you think I feel? What do you mean you don't get anything?'re getting pussy out of it. That's all you wanted. Exactly. Brittany. Well, how do you think I feel? What do you mean you don't get anything? Look at what I gave up. I left my family in Kentucky to work at Hooters. Sounds like the family tree to me.

Yeah, but she was right, though. She's like, I left my family. I moved across the country to live in a studio apartment. I work at Hooters. You asked for it. She's like, yeah, but I want more. I signed up for that Instagram account. Posted my bikini.

I deserve this. But you didn't get me sunglasses. Now I have to steal them. You're making this about you, okay? At least jail was peaceful. When I was in jail jail everything was just quiet yeah because you weren't allowed to start shit with anybody in your little local cell jacks okay you've started every fucking storyline full of shit on this show what are you even talking about he's like he was happiest when he was alone in a

jail cell can't imagine what happened in that jail cell, but I could jerk off in every direction. Believe me, the rest of society was also happiest when you were alone in a jail cell. I finally got away from all the stupid, petty shit from this summer that you started. Please name one thing that you didn't start that's

happened this entire season. Exactly. Like you said, he's just trying to make her want to break up so he doesn't have to. Yeah. So then over at Sur, things are going swimmingly. Sheena is like, Would you like to see the manual? She does that thing I hate that fucking waiters do.

And I knew that she was this kind of girl. Do we need more time with the manual? Who's we? Yeah. I almost recorded that soundb bite and I didn't. Now I'm mad I didn't. Do we need more time with the menu? Do we need more time?

Are we stupid? All right. Can you guys, do we know how to pronounce Jalan? Do you know how to pronounce Jalan, Seabass? Actually, you know what I would like? I think I'm going to just try one of each of the prime cocktails i think we're gonna just try one of each of the prime cocktails it's all happening i'm ready to order now she's gonna put at the end of that to me

it's all happening So then James goes up to Tom Sandoval And he's like Hello Hello I haven't gotten a drink Hello mate Hey old man I haven't gotten drunk in two weeks man

I haven't gotten drunk in two weeks man Congratulations He's all shifty and nervous And looking like he's gonna Break down into sweats Yeah And he starts talking I think he starts talking about Kristen

He's like, I've been seeing Kristen and the sparks are flying. Sparks like when metals on metal and sparks. Like, that's what those sparks are. Yeah, totally. They're like when something gets stuck in the garbage, like the spoon gets stuck in the garbage disposal. It's like when the wheels come off a car

and it crashes into the ground. Those are the sparks. Well, I'm not sure babe Like it could be Lala Or it could be Kristen Like who knows I don't know I'm just willing to walk through Whatever door opens the widest

Like do you mean vagina Yeah I think he's talking about the doggy door So Meanwhile Lala She's anxious She's anxious about the engagement having, she's anxious. She's anxious about the engagement party, because she's anxious because, like, she and Kitty

like, don't get along, but she got an invite to this, and now she's really anxious, and she's, like, really nervous. This thing is literally hanging on by a thread. Who said that? I need my mama. Oh, that was Shino. She was, like, so Shino was, like, talking to someone else, I forget who, but she was, like, she's like, this is literally hanging on by a thread, because it's, like, a thread, and I'm but she was like she's like this is literally hanging on

by a thread because it's like a thread and i'm trying to fix the thread like how crazy is it that this like saying came true i'm literally hanging on to a thread that's like literally hanging on by a like thread literally are we uh lala invited to party um i like that this engagement party the theme is not laced leather, which I think it normally is. Now it's lace and linen. What the fuck is that? I've never heard of that. Is that a thing?

Lace and linen? I haven't heard. Yeah. Who puts linen in their party theme? Lisa's like, darling, something pretty and then something that's constantly wrinkled, darling, no matter how hard you try to iron it out. Like your husband. So, oh, yeah. So, oh yeah, so Sheena was, like, fixing something on Lala's thing, because

Lala was talking about how anxious she was, and then, of course, Sheena turns it into herself. She's like, well, I'm anxious that Ariana's gonna be there. Oh, God. I can't believe she would show up at a party that I'm going to. I can't believe I have to look at Ariana! Yeah. And Lala's like, what should I wear?

Like, I don't even know. Like, spandex? And this is Sheena's fashion in five. Wear something your grandma would meet your aunt in. Okay. Like Aunt Dee, who invented the crop top. Yeah. So.

So. It took me a moment there. I had at least a random reaction. Late reaction, but I got it. I got it. By golly, I got it. You're mad tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow.

I can't believe Ronnie manipulated me into that joke, baby. Scapegoat. I am the scapegoat of all these jokes about halter tops. So, Jax is back at work. And so, he's talking to Lisa. By the way, I love Lisa's outfit in this scene It was like this like tan Whatever you call it

Marzipan-esque Marzipan She's wearing like a shiny Like velvet It looks like it was like I don't know whatever I am like crazy again I took a big gulp of coffee everyone

I'm ready to go So So Jax is like talking about his thing He was like He was like Yeah he was, it was really cool. I just showed up. I didn't have to say anything. They're like, listen, they got bigger fish to fry.

They don't need to worry about me. They got real crime there. And he's like, don't minimize it. Don't be nice to yourself, Lala. Do you want to argue with me? Or listen to me? I'm not your son. Jax is like, now you're aggressive. He's like, I'm not aggressive. me? Or listen to me? I'm not your son Now you're aggressive

He's like I'm not aggressive Shut up and listen to me Jesus He's like you're a little aggressive right now I don't give a damn if you're tired I don't give a damn if you have to go to Hawaii To be in a courtroom Get out of my face

And he's like get out of my face She's so manipulative That bitch needs to show up to Beverly Hills Yeah I know. Exactly. Where's she been? Yeah, exactly. That's what I would like.

And Tom Sandoval. You know, it's so weird, Kristen. Like, I've known Jax for a long time. And since I've known him, Kristen, he's stolen from me. He's fucked my girlfriend. And he's told me he's, like, the top cool guy in the cool guy group. But you know what like i'd still miss him i'm like yeah because otherwise you're standing there next to ariana

whose eyes are like rolled back in her head her head while she like squirts water into a glass from a gun and talks about the death of sketch comedy she's like i'm sorry i can't talk right now trying to nail the game so freeze um so then we go to villa rosa where where katie's like setting up the engagement party she's like there's so many details like you know like who do i invite and like how to uninvite them and how bitchy can i be when i invite themite them? You know that's what she wants to do the whole time. I'm scrolling down to this. Where are your umbrellas?

Yeah. No, she's like, where are my thing? Yeah, yeah. And then Lisa's like, where's your help? I don't understand. Where's Rocio?

All right. Someone find some Latinos to help these people. Darling, you are not using Rocio. She's mine, all right? She's just been given Pandora's kindergarten graduation blouse and she's not ruining it, putting up umbrellas. She's mine, alright? She's just been given Pandora's kindergarten graduation blouse

and she's not ruining it, putting up umbrellas. Here, darling, go knock on the dollhouse around the way. Maybe there's someone in there who can help. And then Tom's like, Lisa, I can help you bring down an umbrella. Should we use an umbrella? Just don't be a pussy, darling.

Stop being a pussy. Just take it. Does she have gravestones in her backyard? What are those? Did you get the shot of that? It looks like a whole bunch of gravestones back there. I didn't see that. It's creepy. It's like all the dogs that can skin to wear wigs.

Yeah, I didn't see that at all. I think I was just watching the the the saga of the umbrella as it came down the way um so tom and ariana are next right tom yeah we're gonna perform tonight we're gonna perform just the tip tonight at the after party sir by the way i'm surprised that mixology 101 was not involved in any part of the season I know Mohammed must have pissed somebody off Is that his place? No, I don't know whose place it is

But they just always They're just like one of Lisa's friends They always end up at some of Lisa's friends' place At the Grove Panini, darling Can we organize a fight around the panini shop? Make it happen So then They start talking about Sheena right

Yeah Because I forget why they're talking about Sheena Because Ariana has to see her And she's like I have to see Sheena Like I'm so sick of this Like pageant sassy persona That's not who I became friends with She takes pageant queen personas

very seriously, okay? Listen, you can say a lot about Sheena, and we do, but Sheena has never wavered on the game, darling. If anybody knows game, it's Sheena. She's been the most consistently idiotic dum-dum on

Bravo. Like, she's never changed. She's never changed one thing. What did she change in the two weeks that you pretended to know her before getting on this show shut up yeah yeah exactly um so then so now it's time to get ready for the engagement party stassi and kristin are putting on makeup kristin has literally turned herself brown she's fully zoe saldana nina simone herself She turned herself brown. I wouldn't believe Kristen more than Zoe Zaldana as Nina Simone. At least Kristen's felt some pain, darling.

Oh my goodness. If I knew any Nina Simone songs well, I would try to do it in Kristen's voice, but I don't. It's probably a blessing in disguise. This baby don't care for show. This baby don't care for show. This baby don't care for clothes.

This baby just cares for me because I'm a catch. Seriously? You don't know how I feel. Seriously? You don't know how it feels to love somebody, to love somebody the way I love James and Tom's and Jack's. Seriously? Seriously.

Oh, God bless her little heart. They're talking about getting ready to go to Lisa's. And Stassi's like, I'm worried. Because, like, Lisa, like, we're not invited. And, like, we could go to Lisa's house. And she could, like, literally kick us out. And Kristen's like, you get used to it and stacy goes i have self-respect and dignity okay kristen is unburdened by those anchors that was a funny line you fuck jacks for years there you aren't either get over yourself yeah

that's what i was about to say you realize you're crashing a party with kristen duty like you're with horse face number one there's no such thing as self-respect at that point to try and be friends with someone who doesn't like you and go to their engagement party just so you can get camera time to pay the rent for the apartment you can't afford because you couldn't get a job off the tv show that's like the opposite of having self-respect and dignity. But thanks for playing. You're gonna talk to Jax! It's like strange, you know what I'm saying? It's like we've both

gotten so fat, you know? It's weird. I don't know if my bed can take it. Oh, poor Stass. I like how she looks. Jax's boobs have gotten fat, but I love Stassie the way she is. Don't change. I know.

I was only going for the joke. I was only going for the joke. She's not fat. No, girl. You know I do it a million times. I'm just still laughing because someone tweeted her when we played her podcast last week. It stops on, someone literally tweeted at me, at fat Stassi. Who does that?

Oh, that was amazing. Women empowerment on Vanderpump Rules kills me. Because she's, like, talking about how she's so empowered, but then is going to go kiss Jax's ass later. And then Kristen's like, yeah, James still wants me. And, like, this is his last chance, okay? This is his last chance. How many chances does he get?

And why is it his last chance after you fucked him on the hood of a car in some random parking lot, ho? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Speaking of dignity, Brittany and Jax. Oh, gosh.

When did you last talk to Stacy? Who cares? I've had like three girlfriends since then. Yeah, which was basically also, like, two weeks ago. If that's what we're using. It's like this morning. Yeah. How about you?

He's like, did I say girlfriends? I meant felonies. Felony. Felony. So, then, so everyone's showing up at the party lala is drunk she's she's doing that thing where she's like i think she's it's like really cool to talk about how drunk she got she's like yeah i had like 14 mimosas and like two shots so i'm like really drunk so she shows up and she has the charro hair and sheena also has the charro hair but like a smaller charro hair and they're like oh my god same hair and then she's like like the producers are so funny they cut to

her in the confessional going that's so funny and then they cut to her in real life going that's so funny that's so funny did you go to the dry bar on azusa that's so funny did you go to the dry bar on Azusa that's so funny 14 mimosas I've had 14 mimosas and 10 shots of vodka that's so funny Faith comes in looking for a couch to take home did you go to Salon Republic Lisa Vanderpump is talking to the moms and the

grandmas i felt bad for tom too because he's like well um i have triplet brothers wait was it him who has yeah triplet brothers he's like yeah i have triplet brothers they couldn't come yeah my dad couldn't come either because like fear of flying poor guy jesus christ he can't even get his family to come well his family was probably like at the like at the airport being like should we get on the plane i don't know like maybe we shouldn't and like i don't know it could be scary yeah what do you think i think it's scary too let's think about oh wait it left oh cab ray how to plane i don't know what do you want great wait we're all going in different directions

do you think they mean holly Florida or like Hollywood, Los Angeles? I don't know. Let's go to Paris, Texas. Should we? Oh, Bubba. So what I liked was how Lisa made such a big stink last week. How she's like, I don't want to be at the party. I don't want to be involved.

I don't want to even see it. And of course, she's like right there in the middle of it. Poor people drinks. Welcome to Pump Sangria Town, darling. Your engagement dress is made out of pump labels. Enjoy, Katie. So then here comes Stassi and Kristen. And I like how Stassi says that Kristen has had a shamectomy and just doesn't care anymore.

It's pretty true. Speaking of no shame, Tom and Ariana standing alone at a table. Tom is fanning himself so his shaved forehead doesn't get sweaty and Ariana's blowing bubbles trying to relive her bitter 13 year old where she was afraid everybody was a lesbian.

You two are so sad. I know. Mingle darling. So who is it? Was it Shinobi? There's like a VIP table. And it's like, no one's invited to it. Except for Tom and Ariana. It's all happening. To them.

Not to us. I like when Kristen and Stassi walk by. And Kristen goes, what if she throws us off her mountain? Dare to dream. Dare to dream. And Jax is like, yeah, Stassi looks so good. Gosh, shut up. Damn, she looks good. Gross.

And then after he says that, it cuts to every manager. It's like, shot of Peter. Shot of Diana. What the hell? I know. Are they going to confront him about stolen silverware? Why are we getting weird soap opera shots of every manager at Sir? Exactly.

And then Stassi goes up to Brittany and goes, I've heard nothing but really great things about you, and I've always said that Jax has the best taste in girlfriends. Like, yeah, that was basically, if you want to translate that in Stassi to English, she's like, you're a fucking bitch with fake tits, and I hate you, and you get your slut face out of here and back to hooters you stupid motherfucking bitch thank you i'm stupid britney like that was great thank you i love you too

um then james in a proud moment of to celebrate his two weeks as a variety he's like look lisa look what i did, Lisa. I finished the Pump Sessions CD, Lisa. Look at it right here, Lisa. Darling, that font. We had a bar in the 80s with that font, darling. It's perfect. We used to call it Miami Pump Vice.

Oh, that was a weird Miami Vice font. I like that James tries, though tries though you know he's like a young guy who actually is working hard to get what he wants and that's more than a lot of people do in this town yeah at least he ain't sucking his dick to the middle you know he's doing he's doing middle quality work to get to the middle and to that i say applause and he really he really does support the new york times they said these said these kids, they don't really aspire to anything. I mean, James' biggest thing that he wants in life is to be a DJ at Pump.

The fact that he's been knocked down from that is a huge thing. It's like, someday, someday he could be a DJ at the place next door. Get Pump Sessions out there. He's going to be making a Hamburger Heaven compilation for the hamburger place across the street. Oh, yeah. Get pump sessions out there He's gonna be making a hamburger heaven compilation For the hamburger place across the street

Oh yeah Oh did we talk about Vanderpump coming up to Stassi and Kristen? Didn't she say hi to them at some point? Well she does her like You know I think that Lisa really doesn't care that they're there But she likes being Well to do the pretend thing

Oh no you two Oh goodness what have i gotten what are you doing here you trouble makers be on good behavior it's a beautiful afternoon and tom's carried an umbrella down don't fuck it up stupid christian i got three swans up there that are ready to bite christian's like listen two gates can't stop us okay wait who said oh no lisa's like two gates aren't enough and christ okay? Wait, who said? Oh, no, Lisa's like, two gates aren't enough. And Kristen goes, look, we're not going to fuck this up. We're going to fuck this up the least of all of the things we fucked up.

Good one, Kristen. Glad we had this talk, darling. Clear. Clear. So then James goes up to Kristen. He starts kissing her. And he's like, hello, babe. Remember when we fucked up the car the other night? So they're like, kissy, kissy, kissy. He's like, I really want her. And he's like, hello, babe. Remember when we fucked on the car the other night?

So they're like, kissy, kissy, kissy. He's like, I really want to get back together with you. I want to show how good you are and how much I love you and how good I am. And what do we know about Kristen? You know, and they're kissing. And she's like, well, like, he's really come a long way. And this is the James who I fell in love with originally. He's like, say it in your British voice.

And then Lala fixes her charo her charo weave or whatever and starts walking over and i'm like oh no and kristen's like of course she's behind me i hate her i had her hair and her shoes she's not a good person and then lala just watches her and plays with her straw hair yeah and i love by the way i love that i hate her hair her outfits are shit i hate her shoes i just don't think she's a good person i love that like her hair her outfits and her shoes are examples of how she's not a good person like here's my thesis she has bad hair she has bad outfits and she has bad shoes therefore qed she's a bad person it's not even a run-on inspiring sentence on QED, she's a bad person. There's not even a run-on inspiring sentence on her t-shirt.

Ugh, what a bad person. I thought Lala said that, but maybe she was saying that about Lala. I don't remember. It's interchangeable. I thought she was saying it about Lala. I don't know. I don't even know. I thought Lala was saying it about Kristen, but honestly, it could go either way.

Sometimes I take notes and I think, tomorrow I'm just going to naturally remember who said all this stuff, but it could go either way sometimes i take notes and i think tomorrow i'm just gonna naturally remember who said all this stuff but it could be any of them you could say anybody on the show said this and i would believe it well so then so then james again proudly shows his pump session cd to horse face and she's like legit motherfucking proud of you dude seriously seriously legit motherfucking proud of you dude literally legit like Literally legit. I never thought you'd get your color printer to work again. Seriously, so legit motherfucking proud of you. You finally figured out inkjet. Love you. I knew you could find the potential of your Epson color printer.

Seriously, seriously. Man, sometimes you just need to wake up and have a cartridge change am i right oh my god it's a t-shirt oh god so then so then lisa was like hell yeah hell yeah everyone got around lisa goes to make a speech and i don't know if you saw this but in the corner of the screen as everyone gathered kristin was totally taking a huge drag off of a joint. Did you see that? No. They're all gathering around, and there's Kristen. Huge drag. She totally chokes up. What do you think of that, Mom?

Which surprised me a little bit, because I don't think we've actually seen someone smoke up on the show before. We've never seen someone with a joint in their mouth. James held a joint at the end of the show, but we haven't actually seen it. They're always stoned, but we never actually see them doing the drugs it's like seeing only the after pictures yeah they they let they've they i don't know if they let that slip on purpose but i uh i was surprised so i'm surprised lisa didn't fucking yell at them she knows what that shit is i liked her speech though i would like to say congratulations to Tom, too, for being less of a pussy for at least a month. And I'd like to thank Katie for being the only person

with a back strong enough to carry salt and pepper shaker trays from one end of the restaurant to another for a 12-hour shoot. Congratulations, darling. Congratulations. Now, let's talk about sangria. Yeah. I also want to congratulate Tom for finding one of the old shirts they had to wear at the Geisha House restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard. It looks wonderful.

I'll have a martini, please. Now, please, everybody, pick up a plate, pick up a glass, and walk them towards the kitchen. Thank you. So then she's like, if anyone would like to address them, please come up here and say something nice about your hip. Great. Kristen and Stassi. Kristen who is stoned. Please don't, Kristen.

That was hilarious. Yeah. Please don't. No, Kristen, no. So Kristen is up there and she's stoned and rambling. She's like, you know, I'd like to take credit because, like, if it wasn't because of me and because of the Craigslist and because of driving across the country to meet her. But she's just rambling and rambling and rambling she's like you know i'd like to take credit because like if it wasn't because of me and because of the craigslist and because of driving across the country to me though but she's just rambling and rambling rambling when t-schwa got out of his honda civic t-schwa she says when t-schwa got out of his honda civic from florida and he came to tom's house they're like

i loved him like it was just love of music like his quirkiness and his humor and his good looks i'm like meanwhile getting buried right now and then lala is off in the corner she is drunk and just looking sloppy at this moment he she's just looking like sloppy trash in her lace you know whatever that was she got her hair up she's standing there in this pose which again, again, if you look, it's our new Facebook banner photo. She's standing there. Her drink is, she's holding it with this floppy hand. She just looks like an old cougar who is pissed about her divorce. And she has a scowl on her face.

And she is like, fuck this shit. This is going to be my season finale. So Kristen's rambling. And Lala's literally like, can you wrap it up, dude? Hey, babe, wrap it up. Hey, wrap it up? What the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah. I was just saying what everyone was thinking, babe. I have not been able to be mad at Lala once. Is that weird? Are there a lot of Lala haters? Because I think she's hysterical and I love her. And ever since she talked about crying on the curb, I'll love her forever. Well, she keeps doing things that should make me hate her.

You know, like, for instance, the endless flirtations with James. Just these obnoxious things. The slutty outfits. All this stuff. And yet, she's just Lala. I don't know. It's just like there's so many. They're bigger fish to fry.

It's so funny. And everybody deserves it because they're so mean to her. It's so funny. And everybody deserves it. Cause they're so mean to her. I'm like, you need to be meaner to them. They deserve it. Slash a tire, bitch.

She tries so hard. She does try so hard. But then of course, Katie, because Lala acted up. Katie's like, Whoa, guys,

I don't care if you guys have a problem with them. Okay. If you want to be rude, leave. And then like two people applaud. They're like, yeah. Kitty's like, I want people to compliment me.? If you want to be rude, leave. And then two people applaud. They're like, yeah. Katie's like, I want people to compliment me. So if you don't want to hear the compliment,

then maybe you should go. You should leave. There's the gates over there, okay? I want to hear about me. I'm comfortable. Katie is too boring to actually have somebody stand up and object. They'll only do it to other people.

Does anybody object? Yeah, I object to Kristen. This is my wedding. Okay, well, then I object to higher taxes. Nope, still my wedding. All right, well, I object to styrofoam to-go containers. Nope, I'm getting married right now. Who the fuck are you?

So then Kristen and Stassi go mumbling off the stage like the moment's been ruined and uh then more or less we just then we move over to serve for the after party um so everyone gathers together we see the original trio of evil together katie kristin and stassi and then sheena's like now sheena feels left out so sheena and ariana start talking and you know ariana is pretty upfront says all the right things i think but she's just like you know you just dismissed my opinion like it's completely invalid and then she's like oh well you know what like they're not friends with me anymore so can we be friends again thanks it's all happening pretty much are we even friends anymore i don't know you've been talking shit about me and tom

i disagree um i love when people disagree about things that aren't things about agreement like it's not an opinion you've been talking shit yes or no you didn't or you did it's not an agreement thing you dumbass they show like a montage of her talking shit well i'm sorry no one else will listen to shay's stories i'm like okay yeah pretty much like literally last year like i was happy and now like i'm sad you know what i mean oh okay yeah hugs yeah and ariana's like i just want you to remember though that this doesn't change my stance on sketch comedy. The game is still the game. Please don't ask me a question.

Very serious. I still have not figured out who I am at the dinner party. James is like, don't give me alcohol, babe. I'm not drinking anymore. And Jax is like, you're fucked up. He's like, well, it's just because I smoked a joint. That's different, isn it's not the same thing yeah that's that's a day right there yeah and so then james starts kissing lala because lala by the way the funny thing with lala

is she and kristen too but lala sees james kissing kristen and instead of saying you know he's a skis she's like you know he's such a skis but it makes me jealous and i can't help it now i want to bone him you know it's like what lala stand up for yourself so then of course james starts kissing lala he's like you're gorgeous you're the most beautiful one here like you're such a pig yeah and these girls fall for it and then she bites his tongue knowing that kristen's watching she holds his tongue in her mouth with her her teeth, just in case no one got a shot of that. Yeah. And then Kristen's like, oh my god, she's like a walking STD.

Yes, and now you have it. Yes, exactly. And Lala's like, Kristen, Kristen, can you shut up finally? To which Kristen responds with, can you just leave, sir, because no one likes you. which Kristen responds with, can you just leave, sir, because no one likes you. Says the woman who's been kicked out 10 times and had the police call her and showed up a week ago to yell and scream obscenities

in the middle of the restaurant and then was disinvited to ever coming back there and wasn't even invited to this party. Hello? These are truly the best comebacks I've ever seen on TV. You are. Can you shut up finally and can you just leave because no one likes you?

Oh my God, that's a t-shirt. So then Lala does the next reasonable thing, which is she just goes and shoves Kristen. Sit the fuck down. I'm the one person, babe. You don't want to go there, man. I might go there. I'm in the Inland Empire. And who said, oh, James is like, that's fucked up, babe.

That's low life. Like, you just made out with two girls and gotten high in front of an entire wedding party. Please be quiet, James. Yeah, please. That's low life. So then, but Kristen's like, I'm in a better place now, so I'm not going to fight back. So then they all. I swear Lala will never be accepted

so then um um uh they go inside because it's time for tom's performance so tom and his buddy isaac seeing this touch in public which is fine uh but the lmfao has disbanded for a reason. LMFAO meets Chromio. They are so LMFAO that it makes me crazy. They even do the same dances. And Lisa's like, is this a joke? No, Tony. Lisa looks totally confused. But Lala is just, again, she's being so extra.

She's sitting there on I think James' lap. She's drinking something and she's like flicking her tongue in like a lesbian kind of like lick your vagina way and on the on the straw and like looking at kristin i was like lala put it while you're ahead please i love it no just fucking tear kristin into the ground because you know kristin left her alone didn't she after all of that that's what you got to do punch horse face in the horse face girl she did it it's like i'll stay over here now and hate her from afar and lala's like yeah

i mean lala did learn from stassi i mean stassi also just slapped kristen so oh speaking of stassi's advice to lala she goes lala listen like she's trying to be the old hoe mentor girl you never made the kind of money this hoe did Stassi's like listen Lala you need to this is the time that you need to own it and apologize like literally

and Lala goes no fuck it I'm sick of trying to make all these people like me like if you don't want to be my friend you can fucking blow me and she walks, and Stassi's like, um, that girl is not getting a statement necklace for Christmas. Yeah. Not that. Well, I mean, poor Lala. I mean, this is the thing. Lala has one of those complexes

where she's not, she doesn't ever feel accepted, so she puts up this, like, whole, not facade, but she has, like, her defenses up, which makes people not want to accept her. So, poor Lala, don't you realize the psychology that's going on here lala just just relax and enjoy yourself you're getting invited okay darling it's the hoe defense erica james the same way there's one on every season of every bravo show there is some hoe who's trying to make up for it in some other way

you know well so now things get really gross so now um at the performance james who is stoned out of his mind and yet still calling himself sober um he like sits down with ken and he's like come here papa bear come here papa bear i'm like that's your boss that's your boss actually because ken's boss like that's you're calling your boss papa bear and putting armor that's that's massively inappropriate but little did i realize he was just warming up. Because then Lisa asks, Lisa's like, have you been drinking? And he's like, no, no, I haven't. He's like, I mean, I ate four brownies earlier and I smoked two joints before I got here. If you want the truth, I'm very stoned and I feel like I'm in space right now.

I'm like, are you crazy? You're telling your boss you're stoned and you're at the workplace and she's told you this she has specifically told you to be sober and you are you're talking about this as if it's a bragging point he's like i'm on a space level i don't even care right now right babe that's how good i'm doing which is like uh yeah james is the oh james is one of those idiots who celebrate sobriety by getting wasted it's not like it's the first time you've seen that, Lisa. Oh, wow. So then Christina Kelly, good old Christina, for once on the right side,

because she's normally giving a snotty look at people and you're like, shut up, Christina. But this time she's like, you look stoned. That's so inappropriate. And then James is like, you've got to shut your fucking mouth. In front of Ken. In front of Ken. And Ken's just sitting there like, you've got to shut your fucking mouth. I was like, in front of Ken, in front of Ken. And Ken's just sitting there like, you know.

I couldn't believe, you know, I guess maybe at this point, Ken and Lisa are like, just let them fight. We need it for the season finale. Is Jiggy breathing still, darling? Jiggy's breathing? All right, I don't care. It's all, carry on. So James says this to Christina, which is totally obnoxious

and further evidence of James being a total sexist little prick. And then Jax is the one. Jax, the womanizer of the bunch, is like... The woman, the guy who just got free tits put into his girlfriend because he was body shaming her in their first month of a relationship. He is the voice of

reason here, which shows how fucked up slash wonderful this show is. He's like, like dude you can't talk to women like that you can't and then and then and then james you really want to get it a woman you get her some bad tits like that'll show her yeah so then they start bickering and so jacks just steps away and then james james goes to his favorite like his favorite attack he's like oh you want to go stand by the at the bar that? I'm still standing here like a man. While I was talking about how he's a man.

I can say whatever I want to Jax, because Jax is on probation. He can't do anything. You've got a felony. You've fucked over a hundred girls, mate. I'm not scared of Jax, and I'm dying because he's smoking a joint while he says this. How about, girl, you

22 or something, how long do you think it is before you have a felony under your belt? I know he's driving a joint while he says this. Girl, you're 22 or something. How long do you think it is before you have a felony under your belt? I know he's driving around like that and stealing drugs out of people's drug cabinets. Y'all do it. Well, and he's also like a typical like I don't know the word. Like Jim Marchese. The type that

knows that like, oh, I know you can't punch me, so therefore I'm just going to na-na-na-na-na. He's that one. I mean, Jim's like, just shut up. You basically are like a drunken sunflower, right? knows that like oh i know you can't punch me so therefore i'm just gonna like na na na na na he's that's one i mean james like just shut up you basically are like a drunken sunflower right you know he's like skinny with a big round thing on top okay and he is like pushing jacks's buttons and he is being so obnoxious and then he's like and so jacks is now like furious you know because jacks is like as he says he solves he solves problems with his fists and so yeah actually he says you know what i'm not really into verbal arguments yeah yeah no i'm not one for

verbal debate you don't say so so james is just being totally obnoxious and jax is now losses you know jax fell pulse right into it because he's like a dumb you know golden retriever he's a dumb ape oh god i wish i was wearing a sweater right now to take off and kick his ass surprise the shirt stayed on um but then so then you know james is so ridiculous he's like don't cross me in front of lisa be a good boy old man oh my god just so obnoxious everyone's trying to calm them all down. Later old person! Talking to people who are like 70. I know.

So then James tries to cast himself as the gentleman here. He's like, I'm going to take myself out of the situation. Like, oh please. The situation that you cause. All the situations are situations that you cause. And he like, walks out and does this little

wave yeah it's a peace sign and smokes a joint and then he comes back in oh kristen i just wanted to say goodbye i'll call you tomorrow then darling right yeah and then he walks outside and literally there's lala sitting there in her like 1987 tonic Tan outfit, and he's like, alright, let's go fuck. And she's like, okay. You sure showed them, guys. And then Kristen, I feel like I got an STD on my face. It can only help, darling. Write him a thank you note in two weeks.

And then she's like, and then James started talking and I felt like I got, like, another one. No. But, uh, so then, once those, once that Once those idiots were gone Then Lisa's like Jax, why don't you go talk to Stassi Don't you agree you have a bond

Jax tells Lisa Well, I didn't expect this Like about the James drama He goes, I didn't expect this And she goes, you created it, darling I love that You see, I love that right there That's why I love her

She's like, please, you started every storyline this season A you get a raise B please go finish the season Go do the rest of your scenes darling You don't have time to whine right now So then Jax starts talking to Stassi There are no people more suited For each other than you and Stassi

You're the most employees I've ever had so so then Jax goes and sits and starts talking with Stassi and at first the music's like nice and they're

they're cutting to these shots that make it look like they're falling in love again and the light is sort of glowing and they're and he's like yeah like you know I still have a special place

in my heart for you and I'll drop anything for you and she's like yeah like we have something special and like you've really changed and blah blah blah and they're like bonding and nice and Stass nice yeah i mean like if you think about it while she's drinking his water which is disgusting yeah she's like trying to flirt by drinking his free beverage

it's hilarious but then stassi's like yeah you have to remember like literally look around we started this like this is us look around at what we built that's like literally going into a junkyard and be like look at this look at this pile of trash we created this it's like batting on batting yourself on the back every time you shit put an applause sound effect on your flusher

there's a reason why they call it the brat diet I will always be here for you. But that being said, I feel like you're weaseling your way back in and you have an agenda. And you lost all your friends, so therefore you want to be friends with us again. Pretty much. Yeah. But by the way, I don't understand why that's an insult. Isn't that the way it goes?

an insult. Isn't that the way it goes? Someone thought they were doing something better and then they thought they moved on to something better and then they were shut down. They realize the errors are their way and they come crawling back. Isn't that okay?

Yes. They learn their lesson. They come to value their friends they always had. Yeah, but Stassi's not even really valuing anybody. She's just trying to use people so she doesn't have to get a real damn job. Yeah, it makes it different when there's a TV... when there's TV production around at all.

But for Jax to be talking, he's fucked other people's girlfriends. He's screwed over everybody on the cast. He's stolen from the place. And they still are always like... I mean, Stassi is right on that. She's like like why does everybody forget forgive jacks and i guess the difference is is that he doesn't leave you know yeah like if you leave a relationship then you're breaking up but this is like just working through a relationship with jacks's terrible behavior

stassi made a big mistake which is that she went against lisa and that's just not what you do when lisa is the ep of the show so um so then jackx and stassi start bickering and suddenly jax is like you know what britney's not so bad i think i love her again so he's like hey babe let's go back to the studio apartment that we both live in she's like oh that's so sweet so i can play with your tits yeah so i can bring that so try those things out try those things out. Try those things out. And also, he walked away from Stassi, like, so defensive. He didn't win any fight. Like, it was so weird.

They were having this nice conversation. Then he's like, yeah, but you know what? This is what you do. Now you're trying to warm your way back in here. And she's like, what? Like, I just drank your water. Like, she's looking all offended. I hate worms.

And then nothing really happened, except he just gets up and stalks off and is like, we're leaving. I was like, wow, way to show that you just won by leaving out of terror, you fucking pussy. Yeah. And then the season pretty much ends with Stassi and Katie talking about, you know, we're rebuilding. Yeah. And I love your dress. I love your dress, too. Oh, my God. You're so nice.

Thank you. talking about like you know I was like we're rebuilding yeah it's like and I love your dress I love your dress too oh my god you're so nice thank you I'm sorry but like I don't I really can't be the same friend to you that I was before because like I was hurt so now I'm gonna be the friend like I was before but just like you know I'll be married now Dusty's like that's great okay

could you like make me a pancake yeah I'll be right back love hugs love love love so important tom too we're gonna go home and like maybe have sex i mean i don't know like maybe sex like i don't know maybe we'll just order a pizza which is like the same thing to katie god bless her heart but you know he still hadn't gotten fucked yeah you're now at your engagement party and you still have not gotten fucked maybe stop wearing capris yeah Yeah, please. That could be part of it.

Or the candy necklace. Puka shells. Puka shells. This is an ending monologue. Life is a learning curve. Some of these people have learned great things. Some are still wearing women's pants.

Thanks, Lisa. Great monologue, Lisa. Nobody learns anything. That's the point of this show. And then we find out that there's two uncensored specials. There's a part one and a part two and I think three reunions. Jesus. Yeah. I'm excited.

I'm excited about it. So maybe we should just, as we wrap up the season, maybe we should just take a listen to what Stassi's got on her mind, right? Oh, that would be great. All right. Let's straight up with like literally Stassi. And I'm like, what? He, that would be great. Straight up with literally Dottie. And I'm like, what? He's like, no, you need to do this. You love

Scream Queens so much. You need to find a way to meet one of them and ask them a few questions. So, I'm panicking. I'm like, Patrick's going to be so disappointed. He helped me with this. I need to record something. So, I was told I wasn't allowed to record anything during this thing, but i did it anyway

and um i like snuck and did it and then i listened to it afterwards and sorry to report like it's so fuzzy that i can't even play the audio for you guys but i was hoping i was sitting the whole time just hoping that i would have the audio to put on my podcast and sound so legit like i felt like a real live like journalist or some shit. You know what I mean? iPhone journalism. Listen up. This is major. Um,

if you go to Cameron, Cameron, or it's ch wine.com. If you shop for your wine, not going on to her ad with reunions, you don't get to edit. You don't, it's edited.

So whatever I say, it's not like on my podcast where I can just free flow and be myself and no one's going to edit it for me. If I go crazy or get opinionated on a reunion, they could edit it to make me look, you know, just cut part of what I say out and I look like a psychopath. So I try and keep calm in those situations because I thought that maybe, you know, when you see people in real life, people that you look up to in movies or tv shows and then you meet them it's kind of a letdown because they're not their character or there can be an asshole or they're not very smart and you're just like oh i wish i never met you so that you could just live on in my dreams as this awesome person i'm consistently moronic all of them were really cool all it's like when people meet me, they're like, oh my God, you're as dumb as you are on TV. And I'm literally like, I just recorded that on the iPhone.

Sue me, I'm going to play it. Literally, when I met the cast of VeggieTales, they were so cool. I told Patrick about it and he was like, you totally should call the cast of Little Women. They would totally want to talk to you. And I'm like, oh my should call the cast of Little Women. Like, they would totally want to talk to you. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is a huge interview. It's like some show on OWN. Like, the bad girl season 19. Like, I literally wanted to talk to that girl.

He threatened to take another girl's eye out with a corkscrew. And Patrick was like, go for it. Like, he believes in me. Well, guess what? We made it. This is a big, long, juicy podcast. Super fun. Thank you, everyone, for listening.

You can find us on Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crap Is. We have our Hangout next Thursday. Keep an eye out on our Facebook page and on patreon for instructions on how to join that and um keep on keep on keeping on as it were thank you everyone for listening and thanks for supporting and thanks for spreading the word about our podcast thanks everybody bye Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.