Watch What Crappens - #2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!Porsha is all out of sorts on this week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta because Dennis the Hot Dog Magnate is trying to get more camera time via Drew. Please don’t disrespect those that make us hair ambassadors, ma’am. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Indeed.com slash wonder ECA. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Watch What Crappens! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?

Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! A podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on TLC. Just kidding! Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about On TLC just kidding Bravo guys. What else the fuck else when we talk about the real world? No, we're not gonna put you through that shit I'm gonna talk about some Bravo. Hi Ben. How are you doing?

Great that great Ronnie. How are you doing? I haven't seen you in forever. It's been an hour. It's been like an hour and a half. It's been 90 minutes. I mean, I feel like we've crossed borders together today. We've been in different countries today. We've never seen it all. Cosmopolitan guys, we've been all over in one day. We were just in Canada this morning, and here we are back at home to record three shows. So we're super excited.

We had the most fun this weekend. We went to so many places. We went to Cincinnati, Minneapolis and Toronto. We were honestly worried that that last show in Toronto, that was a classic recap of New York and we thought, oh gosh, this is our third in a row. We're a little rusty, you know, a couple of years have passed. I've got, yeah, I haven't fixed my Botox. It's like, are we even going to remember? We had so much fun. The audiences were so great. It was so amazing to hug you guys and

get to know you guys and just, I don't know, hear you. You know, we talk to you all the time, every day, literally our whole lives. But to get to see you and to hear you is just such a treat. So thank you for everybody who's coming to see the mounting hysteria tour. We are continuing. We're on a treat. So thank you for everybody who's coming to see the mounting hysteria tour. We are continuing. We're on a tear. We're going to be going this week, next week, this week, this week, this week, to Charlotte, Atlanta. We're going to be doing Southern Charm finale in Charlotte. And then Atlanta, we're going to do a classic episode, because that's a Sunday night show. And we just, you know, we really love doing classics. Bring me some Shannon Bador classic.

Okay. So we're going to Ireland. We're going to be doing a season. I don't even remember the episode number. Okay. I don't remember the episode number, but today is St. Patrick's day, which is all you need to remember because we are doing, we're going back to Ireland. We're recapping the classic Ireland trip. When we were in Ireland, we recapped the first part of it. This is, I don't remember the episode number. If you give me- I'm sorry, that's super unprofessional, but you know what? Go to our Instagram and look at it. And we'll also announce it the rest of the week so you guys get it. But it's posted on our Instagram.

So go look at it there. And then after that, we are going to- Well, by the way, what I was going to say is for those who are trying to remember what the episode is, what I was going to say is that it is the second part of that Ireland trip where they get Kelly wasted, and then there's a screaming match in the van late at night. And also, Megan goes and asks people, are you a No Tool? So look forward to that one, and we'll get the name up and the episode number

fairly shortly. Yeah, it's on our insta so check it there. And then we're going to be at the Lincoln Theater in Washington DC, Philadelphia after that, and Boston and then Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas and Vegas. So go get your tickets over at watch what crap ins.com. People are asking about the meet and greets. They should be available as an add on at the end when you're purchasing. It's like an add on thing. So thanks to everybody who's been coming out. We also did one of our favorite things this week was an airport snaps, which is where we recap people in airports. This

was the Cincinnati airport and we just sat in the food court and judged the fuck out of people. It's so much fun. Go check that out over on our Patreon. If you want to catch up on Traders Recaps, those are over there. We'll probably do another airport snaps coming up this week. And then we're trying to decide what the next show to cover on bonus is. Will it be Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? We don't know. Will it be Love Island? Will we wait for that? We don't know. So give us your ideas in the comments. How about that?

Ask for stuff. Yeah, exactly. And the episode of Orange County is Bringing Up Old Ghosts, season 11, episode 16. Thank you, Ben. Thank you. Ben is prepared. Well, I wasn't that prepared, but you, there

was enough time for me to go onto our Instagram and pull up the name and the episode. I can't make myself useful at the very least. I'm a little flibbertied, Jim. Okay. I just got back from the airport. I didn't even take off my jacket. I haven't even peed. Okay. But I did get a Starbucks. So let's do this. It's real housewives of Atlanta season 100 episode two, um, fun episode. I thought hot dogs and hot mics. That's the name of the episode. So we actually pick up, uh, where the last episode left off, which is that Shamia is having this birthday party and the entire cast is upstairs. They've taken the elevator up to this random room and now they're all talking. And basically,

there's confrontation about Drew working with music icon Dennis, the hot dog guy. And is this a violation of girl code? And it's really cool because his label, he's just going to add an exclamation point to the end of hot dog. So instead of like the hot dog king, he's just going to add an exclamation point to the end of hot dog. So instead of like the hot dog king, it's just going to be hot dog. So Shamia is like, okay. She's like, well, three people said that they've seen you like, cause they're wondering if Drew and Dennis are dating and Shamia is like, well, three people said that they saw you

at the club and you got to look like you look like you guys were all booed up and just like, Oh God, stop playing. Now, of course not. And, and they're like, yeah, they said that you were even matching. She's like, what? Not matching. No, not me. But of course, since Drew is like a pathological liar, I don't believe a word she is saying. And I think that Drew is either getting down with hot dog man, or she's at least happy to fan the flames of that gossip because she's just excited that people are talking about her. She is at least blowing hot dog guy. There I said it. I believe it. And then we see a picture. Someone has a picture on their phone and they're like, we saw the Instagram picture

and we only see hot dog man's arm, but it is matching. It is the same color as her outfit. And you know, Drew's lying because she does this thing when she lies where she squeals all of her words. So they're like, are you having sex with him? And she's like, stop playing. And they're like, okay, but you're matching. And she's like, not matching. And she does this really high squeal thing.

So you know she's a damn liar. And she's lying in a Patsy Stone wig and a Ivana Trump wig. So it's not, it's not going well for her. I have to say, um, that, uh, the hot dog thing on Bravo right now is very real. And I just have my latest updates. I feel like now I'm updating with any piece of hot dog news I have in my life is

that I went to a very fancy restaurant last week. And the first course was basically, it was like a cube. It was like a cube of like gelatin. It was like, it was like molecular gastronomy and had little bits in it and was served on a postcard that had like a picture of like Chicago hot dogs. And it was like, this is this little cube of gelatin. It has the flavors of a Chicago hot dog. You just eat it in one bite.

And I was like, this is crazy. And I took a bite, I swear to God, it tasted just like a hot dog. I am blown away. So that is my latest hot dog news, which is that I had a cube and it tasted like a hot dog. So there it is. But how come when you eat like an actual hot dog

that is flavored, it tastes like a hot dog? Cause you know that shit is flavored, right? It's just like, it's like pig nose cartilage that's ground up. And then they put flavoring and coloring and everything else in there. So God knows what it even is. And they flavor it to taste like hot dog. And then everybody's like, oh, my God, that's so unhealthy. That's so processed.

That is such processed feeling. I can't believe you're eating that. It's like the worst thing to ever happen to the earth. That's why the earth is eating us. And then somebody makes a piece of fucking gelatin that tastes like hot dog, which is the most processed shit, and people pay $500 for it. And they're like, look at me.

I ate a piece of gelatin that tasted like a hot dog. I'm fancy. Like, it's unfair. There's a lot to unpack there, and we'll let the food scientists in our audience do all the explaining. But what we can say is that hot dogs and Ben Mandelker are having a moment right now. We are in the thick of the hot dogness.

Okay. So then we, oh, by the way, we saw Tim Hortons at the airport and our friend, Caitlin gave us gift certificates to Tim Hortons, but it was on the other side of the fucking glass. And we couldn't- It was on the other side of the American quarantining glass. Yeah. Talk about flavored, something that could be flavored like a hot dog.

I wanted to go over there. We couldn't do that. Sorry, Tim. Okay, so Cynthia's still here. So she's like, well, I better not find out that anybody's boot up with Peter Anthony Thomas. Well, don't worry about it. Isn't he in prison? find out that anybody's boot up with Peter Anthony Thomas. Well, don't worry about isn't he in prison?

I think if he's boot up with anyone is with a very, very large man with teardrop tattoos. Yeah. And not in a hot way. So then Angela. Oh, you never know. I watched Oz. It can be hot. I don't know with Peter Thomas. Peter Thomas can't make like like hot prison porn hot. Like he just can't do it. So it's just sad.

It's like, no. So then Angela says, she's like, I know they didn't do the prom matching outfit. So they're all just commenting on the fact that Drew and hot dog Dennis were matching. And Cynthia's like, I'm gonna need them to not even be boot up with James Michael Hill with the matching outfit on. Please find someone else to match with and boot up with.

Okay, Cynthia. All right, it's nice that Cynthia's back, but I'm gonna need her some better content from her. Well, you know, she's trying. They're not letting her do much. I mean, it's Cynthia. She's not really here to do much. She's just here to show us her kitchen counters

and make a comment every once in a while. I think she's just there to provide some familiarity with the audience. Because there's a reboot and people would be like, oh my God, new people, what do I do? They're like, okay, here's Cynthia Bailey, you're safe. Everything's okay, Cynthia Bailey is here. Everyone's like, okay, okay, I can do this.

It's true, and also they had to cut their budget a lot. So they're getting Cynthia, because they fired Cynthia already, so she's cheaper now. Five dollars, I will do it. I need to pay for you know Bailey Lake or Lake Bailey Lake Bailey, right? What's it called? It's like when you go. Yeah. Yeah Lake Bailey It's like when you go it's like when you go to the supermarket. They've got like day-old bagels or something It's like well, it's cheaper, but you know, yeah Comforting to people, you know, maybe a day-old bagel, but people still buy it because it's still comforting to people, you know? It may be a day-old bagel, but people will still buy it

because it's comfort. So that's Cynthia, our day-old bagel with a John and Kate plus eight wig. So she's doing that. And then I think Shamia asked the better question. She's like, so you've been in the industry, how long? Andrew's like, well, because Lord knows no one needs to hear that answer because it's going to be crazy, you know? And she's like, well, because Lord knows no one needs to hear that answer because it's going to be crazy.

You know? And she's, she's like, well, why Dennis? So if you know the industry so well, why would you be with Dennis? And she's like, well, you know, Portia and I, we talked about it. And Portia was like, no, she's like, no, we did. No. She's like, I mean, I was talking to Dennis about something about Pilar last minute and he was like, oh, you, you're, you can come to Drew's birthday party.

And, but I had just like wiped off my face so I didn't go. And then the next day you posted a picture and we see this picture of Drew not looking amazing, looking kind of like she, we know when people say you look like you just saw a ghost. She looked like she saw like, like, like an army of ghosts. She was like very like, Oh my God. So, uh, you know, Portia's like, you know, just like you weren't looking like

yourself. You just look very washed, like washed out. Everyone's like, Oh my God, not washed out. No, she didn't even say washed out. She said washed. I watched. She's like, ah, and they're like, yeah. And they're like, why are you saying that? Why are you saying that she looks washed? And she goes, well, you know, she's right everybody. I didn't have any makeup on. And then they show a picture of Drew looking washed

and she has so much makeup on. I don't know what she's fucking talking about, but it's Drew, so it's a lie. And she's like, well, I said washed, okay? So anyway, and Britt's like, well, I don't know about, I don't know about anybody else, but I like good with no makeup. Britt, whatever they did to your nose, sue them.

At least get some straws put in there. I mean, that girl has a roadblock in her nose. What did she do? I don't know, but if she has a roadblock in there, I hope she got it insured from her own company. So then, of course, she's like, no, no, no. I'm gonna make- Your nose insurance. And your nose looks great, but you cannot speak.

I cannot listen to Brit talking. It's not even a cute man. Cause you know, I'm a fan of a, of a nasal voice and my favorite voice on Bravo is that really bad. What do we do? Like, I love that kind of a voice, but she's not even that it's just like they hacked off part of her nose and now she just sounds like that. And it's just because a part of my brain,

it hurts a part of my brain. She's doing Lily Tomlin, you know. So the operator. So Portia's like, No, no, when I said I wasn't being mean, it was just a stress, you know, like she's like watched from the stress going to divorce. And I understand that because like,

I've been through divorce. So I understood, I called her up and I brought up Dennis and you were like, well. And Cynthia's like, so you didn't know they were working together? She's like, I didn't. So I called, she didn't even say anything. Do not say a single thing to me

about them working together. Yeah. And she's like, and listen, I don't even care about that. And Britt's like, it seems like you care. And then Portia's like, well, I was just scrolling and I saw something about somebody in the studio. And I just made something for dinner because you know, I have nothing to do with that. Like I'm not dealing with that. So then we see headlines Atlanta streets, say Drew and Dennis are

smashing and Portia's hot and bothered. Hot tea is Portia's baby daddy sleeping with Drew Sidora. Porsche's baby daddy sleeping with Drew Sedora. And then we see a clip from Drew's new song. So Shamia is like, well, somebody said that you guys came to the club together holding hands. And then we see a photo of them in the club. And that's why I wanted to ask you myself. And she was like, um, can I talk? Can I talk? Cause I can't just put this to bed. Can I just put this dog in the bun? Okay. Cause it's very simple. I had reached out to you many times, Portia, and you can tell that like, they all know Drew's lung at this point because she's doing her, I'm speaking rationally voice, which is also another tell she both squeals and then she comes down from the school to be like, I have a very clean explanation for why this crazy

situation happened. Yeah, and Porsche is like, you didn't contact me. You sent me text, honey. Well that is contacting you. This is 2025. I'm they nobody got time to call. Well, that is contacting you. This is 2025. Ain't nobody got time to call, okay? That is contacting you.

So she's like, that's a text. And then Brit goes, that's not something you text. Oh, okay. Thank you. Thank you, insurance lady. Let me connect you over the phone. If your texts are not going through, then please let me help you with the AT&T wireless

network. So, Drew's like, oh no, that wasn't something I was going to text. So let me just tell you from the beginning, it all started when I was opening for superstar Tamar Braxton. Oh yeah. I mean, I'm not doubting that. I love that she wedges this in here. Guys, when I was opening up from Tamar Braxton, winner of Celebrity Big Brother and sister of the Braxton

who has bigger singles on the radio. Tamar, I suck. It's okay. And she's like, yeah, and Dennis reached out to my management, so my hairdresser put down that wig he was about to clip into my hair, and he said, hello, Drew's management. How can I help you? And he wanted to do the official after party. So,

you know, I said, Tamar, how do you feel about hot dogs? T.S. And she said, unbreak my dinner plans. And so I said, unbreak these Drucedora lies. So she is like... I was ready, honestly, I was ready to just keep singing that song because it's such a fun song to sing. Why didn't you? It's a duet. I passed it over. I passed you the baton.

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We have to, that pinged me too. I was like, bing, it's time for the party. Who cares why I didn't finish the song? This is, we need to address this because we are podcasters and this needs to be addressed. Last week, Ronnie brought to my attention the story of the track runner who bops someone on the head with her baton.

And we complained like, why doesn't she have a nickname? And so I called her, I think, baton arela or something like that. And I think we just sort of settled on that. And it was just a total nadir of our creativity because it was sitting right there. Someone actually had to message us and say, what about batonia harding? It's all right there. And I don't know how we, yeah, how do we miss that? Yeah, duh, I was so disappointed in us. We actually had to have a meeting about it. We actually had a very serious moment.

And we're like, this is a problem. We need to meet up and talk about how we've just been slacking the fuck off, okay? I know we're busy, but there are things that are just slipping through our fingers. We are not the same, get it together, Ben. Like a baton handoff that didn't go well, you know? Yeah. This is... Next time, leave no pun unturned. If we are not satisfied with our pun,

we are not going to stay. We're not going to stick with baton-a-rella. We will do it till we get to baton-a-harding, okay, okay everyone? Yeah, so thanks for the help guys. Thanks. Thanks a bunch. Basically she's like, yeah, he reached out to management. He wanted me to do an app. He wanted to do an after party. And then at the after party, he did a whole professional pitch guys

about working on my music, you know? And so that's when I told Portia, remember Portia I told you on the phone, remember? I said, Dennis has been my angel on earth. Dennis has been a crutch to a lady with broken ankles. Dennis has been the breath to a drowning person. Thank God for Dennis. Yeah, but when you say to Portia, Dennis has been an angel, Portia's just gonna hear, oh, Dennis donated hot dogs to an after party. So of course she was like, oh yeah, no, he's great.

He really helped out your after party. That's not the same as saying, oh, he donated hot dogs to my after party and then I decided I was gonna work with him on music, which by the way, does not make sense in real life. Like that is not a leap that happens in real life. You know, it's like, oh, I'm an actor. I'm an actor, I think I wanna be a director. That's a leap.

Hey, here's some hot dogs for your after party. I think I would be your music producer now. Not a leap. So she said, well, I'm so excited for you to hear this, and I did ask Dennis, I said, Portia, Portia excited for you to hear this, you know, and I did ask Dennis, I said, Portia, Portia, one of the best people in the world, one of my dearest friends of all time. She's not going to mind, right?

You're going to talk to Portia, right? And I asked for her blessing, he said that he asked for your blessing and you gave it to him. She said, uh-uh. Portia is just like, uh-uh, stop lying, stop lying to each other about me. And she's like, nope, Dennis has been like a brother to me since, you know, we all hung out. We all know what happened to Ralph, poor Ralph.

I still have love for him in my heart. And every time I pass that stairwell in the kitchen, all I hear is, brr, brr, brr. You know, Dennis is so important to us that every now and then I let Ralph out of the basement so he can say hi. It's very special. So Kelly is like, I didn't sleep with him. I just, Portia, I mean, she didn't raise her voice, not one time. And I'm like, say something, say something. Did you sleep with him or not? Tell that girl like why? Like basically Kelly's like, could you give a straight answer? And the answer is no,

it's Drew Sedora. So what you're going to get is stories about how Dennis was an angel and how he advocated for Drew and Ralph as if that means anything that actually speaks more to his bad judgment. Like I would never hire anyone who advocated for Drew and Ralph. Yeah. And then this is the slow Drew too. She goes, and then that's when he, that's when he really nailed the pitch. He looked me deep into my eyes and said, I need you to record this song, this song right here. Because this song is for me and Portia. And we were in the studio. He cried. He just started bawling. It was a little hot dog with tears streaming out of it.

He said, let's not go out to the movies. Let's not go out and have some fun. So Portia just goes, ah, like totally not bopping any of it. She said, well, and I have stayed out of whatever you guys have going on, but let me tell you that man loves you. He loves you so much. He said, I don't want to have a music career with Porsche. I want to have a music career with Drew Sedora because she's going places. And I don't want you to ever think for one second that would ever be dealing

with your baby daddy, even though he does advocate for me and Ralph and is producing my music and we go out to the club together. I have had nothing to do with him. Yeah. And Portia this whole time was just going, uh-huh, oh, oh, that's so nice to hear. Oh, oh, oh, okay, are you done? And she's like, oh wow, the posturings, the posturings.

So she's like, okay, listen, I don't give a shit about Dennis. Fuck him, marry him, kill him, I don't care. Throw him in the basement with Ralph. Okay, I literally don't care. But I have rooted for you. Do you understand that? I have rooted for your hair.

I made you a hair ambassador for Go Naked. I said, come be an ambassador for Go Naked. The things that I do for other people. Andrew's like, and we, she goes, I did all of that. And Drew's like, and we did, we did do all that. And all of that was because I care for you. And my problem with you is this, you are a low down dirty individual and you know what I'm talking about.

I was like, whoa, what's going on now? Okay. Because since you know what, since that phone call that you're talking about, you know what, like you told me about Dennis and all that and you some you're some low down shit to me Very fucking low down and I'm here to tell you that you got the wrong one You're fucking with the wrong one and you know everyone sitting there was like Are we missing something? What is happening here? There's some element of the story thinking that weren't you because she even I was weren't you? Because she even says, you told me about Dennis and all that.

So you're saying that she did call you and tell you, but now you're deciding to be mad about it. I didn't get it. She kind of explains it later in a better way where I understand it. So, well, now she says, is there a producer here? Can I break the fourth wall? And they're like, yeah, go for it.

And so Drew's like, well, what did I do? So she's like, okay, we're on a TV show and we have our family and we have friends and we have, we have to support, we have our own support systems. And you've been trying to go behind my back to do something dirty by asking Dennis to film with you. And she was like, whoa.

Yeah. Well, Dennis is a low down dirty one here too, because Dennis went to her and pitched this whole thing so he could stay on the show, even though you left with Ass a long time ago and you can kick him off whenever you want to. So I think that was, you know, he at least gets some of the blame for this. I think that like, I don't know if Portia brings this up,

but I think Portia just had to say, how would you feel if I started shooting scenes with Ralph, you know? So she's like, you're just trying to get him like, you know, like, well, oh, well, you showed me the text message with Drew. So the producer is saying like, is Drew sneaking around? Is this upsetting you because she's actually a friend

that you care for? And Portia's like, no, it's not even that deep. I just got pissed because the bitch was trying to film with my baby daddy on the show. And I don't know how many times I've got to say don't do that Yeah, so then um Basically now they're all like trying to kind of figure out what's going on right?

So Kenya is saying I mean, she's a whole married woman and Porsche's like well I don't give a shit about what else you got going on and Brits like I mean I get it She's married, but then that's her baby, Sadie too. So we don't really know what's going on so far. So Portia's like, well, look, the second part was that she called production and told them that she was setting up a photo shoot for my company, Go Naked.

So it still sounds like, why are you mad? Because she's setting up a photo shoot for your hair to publicize your hair. Well, because it's like, okay, so, yeah. It's weird. It was weird, I mean, well, I mean, I understand because it feels a little bit like breaking girl code to be like trying to, well, you know what,

I think a lot of things that Real Housewives seem to talk about is like keeping yourself relevant on the show. And so people get mad when like other people are using your tools. Like Dennis is part of Porsche storyline and that's going to keep her relevant. It's like, wait, you don't have anything to keep yourself relevant on this show. So you're going to take my, my guy to, or one of my tools to make yourself relevant. And that's not fair. Although that's, that was the way I interpreted

it at this moment later on. Like you said, Ronnie, she does sort of explain it a little bit, I think a little bit better, which is basically like, if I have a falling out with Dennis, then he gets to still shoot with you. And then he can air his side of the story and it gets used against me on my own show. And that's that's that's bullshit, because I'm going to brought him onto the show. She's basically like, I don't want him to turn to Peter Thomas, right? Right. When she explained it that way, I kind of got it. She's like, okay, she's basically taking something that can be used as a weapon against me and she's giving him an opportunity to shit talk me on national TV.

And I would be annoyed if Drew, sorry, I would be annoyed if Drew set up a photo shoot for Go Naked. Like Drew is not the, she's not the creator of that company. She doesn't get to just like authorize photo shoots for a company, even if it is publicity, you can't just like do that. Like you were hired to promote it like under like, like, like Porsche has the Porsche controls the brand. You don't do that, Drew.

Yeah. So Britt's like, is this about Dennis or is this about the photo shoot? And Kenya says, well, I think she's mad about Dennis, I think. And she's like, well, if you want to lie to her, you can lie. So then Shemeah's like, do you guys want to have cake? She's like twerking in the background. She's like, you want cake? So then no one really knows.

And Cynthia's like, well, Portia is saying that Drew is lying. And Drew does lie. She's lied once or twice or three times. Drew's lied more times than I've been married, so. Drew's like, I don't lie. I just really connected with Dennis after he lost 45 pounds in one week on Drop It With Drew. That's it.

My plan just makes people so sexy. He became irresistible. So she's like, I'm taking it back. I'm just confused. I mean, is it Drew? Is it Dennis? Is it to go naked shoot? It's just like, oh my God, she wants to be mad at me. So she's mad at me. So let's go watch Drew. I'm going to start saying things now real, real housewivesy. Like if you look up upset in the dictionary, you'll see Porsche's picture. So, um, so then Shamiah that they go outside and Shamiah is like, okay, everyone's time for the real turn up. And she's, she basically says that she's had this awful year, you know,

her surrogate has breast cancer, Shiloh had complications and everything. And she's had this awful year, you know, her surrogate has breast cancer, Shiloh had complications and everything, and she's decided that this year, last year she didn't get to have any cake, but this year she wants to have cake, and she wants to get wet, literally and figuratively. It's like, oh, okay, so you just wanna help? Okay, so. I think that's what both means, literally, right?

What is figuratively wet? I'm figuratively wet right now. So they basically, she's like, okay everyone. Say like, I want to get wet in two literal ways. I want to get abstractly wet. So then she's like, everyone, we're going to jump in the pool because it's going to be wacky.

And they all have to jump in the pool in their nice dresses. And I can't imagine anyone was happy about this. Yeah. And then there's also a, there's like a bubble party too. It's like a foam party and a pool party. It's like a lot of stuff happened outside during this fight, you know?

Like we went outside, the party was totally different. I felt bad for the girl who's fire dancing with only her fingers. Cause that's a weird fire dance, right? Because normally people are like swinging around big balls on chains with fire or a big fire stick And this girl just had a couple of little birthday candles on her on her index fingers and she's like Does this mean I don't get a tip So now we go over to Angela and Charles Oakley

and Charles is cooking. Charles, I don't think we ever got an answer to this, but he is like cooking an enormous amount of food. He is like a giant pot, like a stock pot full of like a thousand corn cobs. But the thing is this, I don't think we ever see anyone come over, right? like a stock pot full of like a thousand corn cobs. But the thing is this, I don't think we ever see anyone come over, right? Like he's clearly making like a cookout or something,

but no one comes over. So it just sort of looks like he's just cooking an enormous meal for three people. A lot of Brussels sprouts. I think that Charles agreed to do this show to make his cooking career happen. I think he's probably gonna be like cooking at home with Charles.

And if you wanna learn, you know, since this is our grumpy ass husband of the new cast, which I'm grateful for it so far, I hope he's just grumpy and not downright like abusive and evil. You know what I mean? Like emotionally abusive, because this is real housewives, you never know. But so far, he's just grumpy. And I like it. She goes, you want some wine, babe? And he's like, I don't drink white wine. A man shouldn't have sweet wine unless maybe he's overseas or out of the country or something cooking with Charles overseas or out of the country. I like this. Like you get like a hall pass for sweet wine in a different country. Like in America, they can't see you. They can't see a week like that. Yeah. You're fruity though. You can't tell the gays apart over there.

It's fucking Europe or someplace. Fuck that. Yeah, he goes to Germany. He's like, Achti, Spumanti, sparkling wine. So we get to meet her daughter, who is Amari. And so they're talking about, he's mad that she didn't clean the kitchen. She's like, but I did clean it. And he's like, well, I'm just saying I don't want to come

home dirty. You know, it's dirty. If I'm cooking in the kitchen is dirty, you can do that shit in Europe, but it's not going to pass here. Go overseas or out of the country or something. Maybe you were drunk on that fruity wine you enjoy so much in America. P.S. don't ask what happened in Luxembourg. Rhymes with easeling. But he's like, clean this kitchen up. So Angela's just like laughing at his face and she's like, no, my husband Charles, he played in the NBA mainly with the Knicks and the Bulls and Charles cooks, he cleans. He's like a dream come true unless you want to have happy hour with Pino Grigio.

So no kidding. He's like a dream come true, unless you wanna have happy hour with Pino Grigio. So- No kidding. Unless you don't wanna be gay bashed for having a fucking glass of wine. Jesus Christ. I know. I know, sorry about the conversed-a-miner. Conversed-a-meaner. Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh-Kersh- So Angela is saying that they have four beautiful children.

There's a more grandmile. It's like, I identify as beer slash whiskey. Unless it goes to Thailand. Did you catch up on the white lotus by the way? No, I'm saving it. Cause I'm back home in LA now. So I'm just, I tried to get all my Bravo on the plane so that now I can like relax tonight.

And watch my separate. So my white load is. Paddle, paddle. Parker Posey is really on one this episode. She like, she just really gets to Parker Posey it up. Like it's not a spoiler. She just is like in full, like, you know, she's just going for it. And it's, it's, it's amazing. So great.

So we've talked about Angela and Charles, and they met at a party in Chicago, like 10 years ago or something, I don't know, a long time ago. And then he didn't call her for 10 years, but then they happened to become neighbors in the same condo. And so then he was like, okay. And she's like, I think, I feel like fate brought us together. Let me tell you what brought you together. Convenience, okay? That's not gonna meet my husband too. It's gonna be a neighbor or it's gonna be somebody who just like comes to sell me something

because I'm not making any effort. I'll tell you that. It's gonna be an Amazon delivery person as we've talked about before, a task rabbit. She's like, well, at first I was offended when I heard that he was into me because someone told me that he was asking about the hoe down the street, but it turns out he was asking about the HOA. So I got a little confused, but it's all good. Unfortunately, Brittany started calling him and wouldn't stop for a while.

Are you interested in a time share? So we find out that Angela's thing is buying houses and remodeling and selling them, but she's got five at a time right now, which sounds like a crazy workload. And we see them and they're huge houses. So I'm not really sure that's a lot of funding. It's a lot, but it seems like she's like, I don't know.

I've, okay, this may be a classic Ben naive moment, but I feel like she seems legit, right? I don't think this is like- Yeah, she does. Yeah, like, cause you know, there's some people like Drew Sedora who's like, we've started a new mortgage company and we've already funded 45,000 homes across

the USA. And you're like, um, okay. So you have a pyramid scheme. She's like, I'm literally selling pyramids across America. But, um, I feel like Angela, I feel like she, she just seems like someone who's like on top of her shit, you know? She does. And I think that if you buy five houses, then you're doing something. You know what I mean? It's not like, it's not some pie in the sky thing. Now, we don't know, we haven't seen the houses. I hope she has an episode where she goes through

and shows us three models and stuff, because you know, I love that shit. So I hope we get that. But yeah, I agree with you. So far she seems real. So she's basically gossiping with her daughter and her husband. Neither one of them care about any of this shit,

but she's trying to get them interested in her new job. So she's like, these girls are so messy. And Drew's music, she's doing it with Porsche's ex-boyfriend who apparently sells hot dogs. But I don't think Drew should have done that, but she has a reason. So I kind of see both sides. I mean, who's going to turn down the hot dog? Am I right? He's like, not any man I know. That's for sure. Charles is being so ridiculous because she's trying to have her little scene and he just is

clanking. He's like washing pans like, she's like, could you please stop doing that during my scene? Could you wait? He's like, sorry, I can't as he's sitting there with his bandana around his head. Like he is working in Benihana. Yeah. And he's like, I don't want to hear this story. And she's like, well, I'm saying that she's doing work with her ex-boyfriend and that's a problem. And he's like, well, you did work with your ex-boyfriend. And she's like, okay, Charles. And he's like, yeah, well, it was fine then, right?

Oh, well, what? It's always some well with some water in it. A man said that, don't you forget it. Better not be a well with some white wine in it. That's what I gotta say. And he goes, don't, he goes, let them talk about you. Don't talk about them. Don't be a follower, be a leader.

She's like, okay. So she says, the secret for loving a man like Charles is just letting him be who he is, which is someone who bangs pans, pots and pans around and has strange views on white wine. Just a man who could benefit from a few soul fights. Am I right? Just a man who walks around the kitchen a lot saying,

yes, chef, because you saw season two of the bear. Congratulations. So their other kid comes in and he's like, are you Bruce Lee, dad? And he goes, now, why would you say that? And he goes, you're stupid bandana. He's like, oh, you got jokes, huh? I don't have jokes, but your bandana. He's like, oh you got jokes, huh?

I don't have jokes, but your bandana is making me laugh. So now we go to lunch with Porsche and Kenya At a place called Devon, which is funny because is this as a restaurant named after a type of sofa? Is that a sofa what's a diva sofa divan is like It's like I think it's like a sofa. That's a divan sofa? A divan is like, it's like a, I think it's like a sofa that's sort of where you know the back. I could be wrong. I'm going to double check, but I think it's like where the back is like not, it's like you have half of a back. Like the first one half of the sofa has a back and that sort of swoops down into like no back. Oh, like a fainting couch kind of thing? Yeah. You know what? It's like the sofas they had at the, at the, at the hotel we had a Wednesday that in Toronto.

Oh, I didn't notice any. Did you notice the sofa? No, I was out of it. I'm sorry. Did you notice the divans or a divan? Yeah. It's like, yeah, I guess it's like a fainting couch. I don't know. I think it's like, I think it's basically like a sofa where like, if you sit back on the sofa in the wrong place, you'll fall off of it into the wall.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't like this. So, um, someone named a restaurant after it. So it was very fancy. Cause if I went to a restaurant, it would be named like Ikea sectional. Oh, Ronnie, I forgot. We have to wrap up this. I have a reservation at futon later. Oh my god, I'll be a beanbag chair and come say hi. It's right down

the street. We're going to D-Von this weekend. So Porsche comes in her Rolls Royce and it says Mandarin seats gifted by Simon in 2022. And then it says Kenya's is her Rolls Royce that she bought herself. So it's like the competing Rolls Royces. Whose is more valid? Those are some big ass cars. I know they're very expensive and everybody's like, oh my God, I'm so fancy in my Rolls Royce. Here's what I think. Don't fucking park next to me in the Whole Foods

or the, you know, the Ralph's or whatever, because I will purposely ding your car with my car door because you're taking up two spaces and that's not cool. No one needs to be driving that bus. Get that shit out of my way. You know what? Get like a Hyundai Elantra, okay? It'll do just what you need, okay?

Get a Kia. Okay, I wouldn't go that far. I'm not anti-nice car in general. It's just like, does every car have to, you know, remind me about your penis, you know? Get a Mazda. You know, I just don't know, you don't know,

you don't need these giant ass cars that look like enormous sneakers, right? Just get something that like fits in the parking spot and gets you from where you need to be and it's not gonna put you into debt because that's what's gonna happen to both these women. Well, those are expensive cars, oh my gosh. Okay, so Porsche, they talk about

how they've had a love-hate relationship. You know, we've done this for years with these two. Right now they're friends. And we see their fights, their best-of fights. And now I'd like to introduce Miss America 1993. It's like, Miss USA, sorry, bye, Ashley, bye. That was the origin for their entire feud, was that Miss America comment.

I mean, for like 10 years. But now they- 10 glorious years. 10 glorious years. But now they have to be friends, mainly because it's like Death Becomes Her where they realize, oh, we've been at each other's throats, but we need each other because if we like one wrong move

and these new girls are going to replace us. So now they're just like, they're, they're, they're, they're friends now under the guys of that. They both have daughters. So that gives them perspective. I'm like, since when does having children mean that that adults can't fight? Have you not watched any of the other real housewives? Well, especially this, we've already seen it on this show. Remember the first year they both had kids? They're like, oh my God, look at us, we both have kids. And Kenya came to Pilar's, what was it? Baby shower, not baby shower, but like first birthday party.

It was a princess party. And they were like, oh my God, we're gonna be best friends. And like two weeks later, they're like, die, bitch. I hope you die. Yeah. So they're basically like, oh God, we're just too old to fight at this point. I'm like, again, many other housewives shows,

Tamara and Shannon, there's a lot of evidence against that theory. So Kenya, Porsche has a cold and she's, Kenya's like, you have a cold? She's like, yeah, when you left the party, me and Ben is in the pool. Which is probably not where her cold came from, but I feel like this is a little Easter egg

to a future feud between her and Shamia. You made me jump in bubble water. I got sick. So Kenya's like, yeah, I met with Drew a couple of days before, and she mentioned Dennis in the music. And I said, Dennis in the music? And Portia's like, well, I met with Drew a couple of days before. And she mentioned Dennis in the music. And I said, Dennis in the music? And Portia was like, well, he did do a kid's album

for my daughter. And then we see the cover art for this album. And it's called All Star Kids, written in crayon. Now this, I believe. This is a resume I believe. This doesn't make it better. This doesn't make it better that Drew Sidora is like, well, Clive Davis rejected me. So I've decided to go to an off-brand kids bop producer who couldn't even do kids bop.

I mean, this guy doesn't even have as many credentials as whoever it was that made the songs for Danielle Cabral on New Jersey last season. Yeah, it's pretty bad. So I like that Portia's trying to stick up for him too. She's like, well, he has a children's album. So I mean, it's not like he's nobody, okay. So Drew's, she's like, look, Drew makes shit up in her mind. And I don't know what she's about to say or do,

but I root for her and I just go with it. But then finding out that you're trying to film with them on here without telling me, that's not cool. Yeah. And she says that Dennis, she's like, Dennis is my co-parent and we have a great relationship and when it's good, it's good. And like, when it's Dennis, the menace, you know, and petty pee, it's bad. And we see flashback from the spinoff with Portia and Dennis yelling at each other while his mom is watching or participating and Porsche is like, I don't want him to film anything that's going to compromise the growth that we have had.

I don't think it's about the compromise and growth is that again, she just doesn't want him to have a chance to talk shit about her with Drew. Yeah. And Kenya says, yeah, I think he's just trying to have his cake and eat it too. Which is a bad thing to say with Dennis because Dennis is always going to have the cake and eat it. It's cake.

The man knows how to enjoy cake. You know, I don't really like that. I want to have my cake and eat it too, too. I want to have it, swallow it, eat it. I always liquefy it and rub it all over me. I'll have cake any way I can, you know, I don't want to be judged about it. So for this, I stand up for the hot dog guy. Trey Lockerbie I have to say, I've never

liked that expression just because I think it's confusing. Don't you feel like by eating the cake, you're having the cake? I understand it's supposed to be that having the cake means that the cake is on your plate. But then when you eat it, you don't have it anymore. But I kind of feel like when you eat it, you've had it. So it's like, I think it means like it's, since it means the same thing, you're trying to, you're trying to have it twice. Like you're trying to have it both ways. You're trying to have both expressions because when you have your cake, you have your cake. And when you eat your cake, you eat your cake. And it's like, well, you can't have it, like, you don't need to have it both

ways. You already had it one way, you greedy fuck. Well, according to Wikipedia, the proverb literally means, they say, that's the direct quote, the proverb literally means you cannot simultaneously retain possession of a cake and eat it too, because once the cake is eaten, it is gone. I'm like, no, it's in my stomach. I think it should be, you can't see your cake and eat it too. That would be a different thing. Does that make me wrong? I still don't understand it. You see, that's the thing about that.

I like your, I like your, I like your interpretation of it. I don't know if you're just the traditional and orthodox way of using it, but I think it's a nice way of using that phrase. I think it could work. And guess what? You know why it can work? Because we can see our cake and eat it too. We can have it both ways. Yeah. So, of course she's like, well, our family right now is very, very vulnerable. Okay. And so Drew should be trying to protect her the way I've protected her. Did you not mention, go naked hair? I go, okay.

So Kenya says, yeah, you know, while I see you spinning around the block with that little Rolls Royce that your estranged husband took from you, I'm like, wait a minute, how do you have that car? And she's like, oh, you saw his post. And she's like, what do you mean I saw his post? He does like 50 posts a day.

Instagram is only him doing posts about what a shit head you are. Yeah, and we see all these things where he posts a day. Instagram is only him doing posts about what a shithead you are. Yeah, and we see all these things where he posts these stories. Like question, is it appropriate to exchange expensive gifts with an ex while legally married to someone else? Hashtag inquiring minds wanna know. Here we go again with Underground Railroad

cornering herself with why an experienced car enthusiast of 14 years makes a strategic business decision to conduct multi-million dollar car rides. Stay in the Mercedes Benz, I buy your name. Okay, he needs a social media manager. That's just not good shade. These are not good shady stories. But it's a good hashtag.

Because he says, hashtag ignorance is a decease. And his last one, question, would you rather cry homeless in a Rolls Royce or in a Honda Civic? That's actually a pretty good, that's actually an interesting question I have to say. I take it all back. What would you rather cry homeless in?

Isn't that a question for Bethany? Oh my God, I'm homeless, I'm homeless. I'm homeless. Cause I feel like if you're in a Rolls Royce crying homeless, people would just be like, just sell your Rolls Royce, you could literally buy a house. Or live in the Rolls, they're big enough. people would just be like, just sell your rolls, you can literally buy a house. Like- Or live in the rolls, they're big enough.

Yeah. Just double park, homeless in your rolls. So Kenya's like, how did we ever get to this place? And it's so weird seeing Kenya as just a backup, like supporting character. I don't know if it works. It works, I think. I think it actually works

because she doesn't, she hasn't had anything to offer seriously in a few years. And so having her as just someone who can kind of like be there and then be shady when she needs to be, I think it works. And for some of these pros, these pro villains, you know, like I think Vicky Gunnvilsson was also is also pretty good as a plug and play friend of who can just be mean when you need her to be mean. We don't need to have a whole story about what's going on in their lives.

So I think this does work with Kenya, you know, it's not going down quietly. That's for sure She's been tweeting. Oh, really? I'm the one put on pause. Well, look, I'm the only one trending from this show It's funny Kenya not going down quietly. That's exactly what she said about Britt. I think Think about it think about it My name is Gina and all I want to say think about it. So Kenya is asking her, so how did we get to this place, Porsche? You and Simon, everyone thought it would last forever. And Porsche is like, well, I didn't know he was lying about certain things, you know,

because we were on a jet and then we got surrounded and there was police every place and FBI and Homeland Security and terrorists. It was crazy. Literally everybody was teaming up against him. And I was like, what's going on here? And then he said, well, one time I was in this car. I didn't know the car was stolen. And you know, you can't do that when you have a green card because they get real mad if you do anything with the green card and Kenny's like, oh yeah, mm-hmm. That's true. That's true I mean, let me tell you the amount of people that I've known sitting in a stolen car with a green card. Trust me I know we're good. You're right. So I would better watch out these days So Kenya is like it's so true and support

She's like well, so when the judgment got released into the press about him being married, you know Some scant some scamming in the, some credit card fraud being deported and this and that I literally was like, wait, what, what's all this? I would be just like, I'm leaving you. I mean, she did, but it's just funny. Like, you know, when it came out that he was a complete fraudster and a con artist and scamming people and we'd already been surrounded by police officers, I was like, huh, Not that he was a complete fraudster and a con artist and scamming people. And we'd already been surrounded by police officers.

I was like, huh, that's weird. It's just so understated on her part. The whole thing of like, oh, you know, we were on a jet and then we got surrounded by, you know, every agency, every letter agency in existence, but he explained it away. You know, and I got it, you know. I'm like, he's totally here about the, you know, the sitting there in a stolen car thing

from like 20 years ago, I'm sure it's no big deal. I would really like an explanation from Bravo why they did not have cameras running. They just should have had them there even if they didn't have a show ready yet. Just get the, keep the cameras on Porsche at all times. Yes. So, can you say, uh-huh, uh-huh.

So, you were his fourth wife and Porsche, youia try to decide what she's going to say here. And then she's like, fuck it. I'll just say it. She goes, um, fifth, fifth, actually. Kenny's like, fifth. She goes, yeah, because there was another marriage and that was fake. So, yeah. So I filed for divorce and then I'm at my mom's house and then my phone beeps and one of the cameras is still on in the living room and he's got women in the house. Can you believe

it? A man who was already in trouble for sitting in a stolen car 20 years ago. I can't believe this person who I found out was a complete faker and has scams left and right actually had girls over at the house the first night I was out of there. I can't believe it. Yeah. So then she tells us her love story. She's like, you know, when I really knew Simon was my person

was because I wrote a book about being treated badly by men. And he said, I read that book and I'll protect you. Portia, nobody read that book. People may have bought it, but nobody read that book. No one read it. Sorry, I think it protect you. Porsche. Nobody read that book. People may have bought it, but nobody read that. No one read it. Yeah. I didn't even know she had that book. Did you? You know, not really. Maybe I knew it at one point, but it's like Porsche's single Porsche's book.

I feel like a lot of her creative endeavors sort of get forgotten about. So Porsche. Now listen, I've, I'll buy some go naked hair. Maybe I'll show up to Atlanta and some go naked clips. Is the, is that what, is that what go naked is? It's that you, their hair is why is it called my head is naked and she sells hair. So I figure it should go naked by putting something on. I think there's a branding issue. Did Drusadora come up with the name? It can't be that. Not a terrible point actually.

She's like, I just wanted a man, a man who was honest, a man who left his wife for me basically after I flirted with him at a pool. Portia. I can't feel sorry for Portia, I'm sorry. And also Portia has a way of telling stories like Drew Sidora tells stories where she's just leaving chunks of information out. Like we don't all have the Instagram.

Portia, come on now. And even Kenya is, Kenya is like, listen, I need someone to shoot with. So I'm going to be nice to you this season. But Kenya, Kenya is just looking like she wants to rip into this and she's not letting herself. She really does. She really does. Hello there. This is a two part recap.

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