Watch What Crappens - #2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean
Episode Date: March 24, 2025This is part 2 of a two-part recap! On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kelli throws a Mommy and Me event at Balmain, which leads to a flurry of ‘90s era pop culture insults. We honestly cou...ldn’t ask for more. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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That's audible.com slash wonder ECA that's audible.com slash wonder ECA Hi everyone, welcome back!
This is part 2 of a 2 part recap.
If you're wondering where part 1 was, well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe
so that way you always get your episodes.
But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode.
So um, she's like, but Dennis, he's been so professional.
I mean, the songs are paid for and Kenny's like, uh-huh.
And you're being talked about like you're a whore,
have some self respect.
And she's like, what?
And Cynthia goes, oh no, not a whore.
A whore we can rock with.
A whore is almost a compliment, but a whore is very bad. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He So then they start talking about Shamia and Cynthia's like, by the way, Angela, have you
spoken to Shamia since she kicked it off?
I mean, and Angela's like, no, Shamia went hard on me.
And Drew's like, well, we did hang out and they say that like they got into like a little
thing.
And Angela's like, you know, I just asked Shamia like, why did you ask her that question
from the group?
And then she just went off.
You know, she said, well, I didn't ask Drew if she fucked Dennis.
I didn't say that.
And Ken's like, oh, she 100% said that.
Am I crazy?
And she didn't say that.
She said, is it true that you are dating Dennis now?
And so we come back and Cynthia's like, well, I'll never hear that.
Wow.
Wow.
How did it end?
And Angela, she says that she just stormed away. Now
Shemeah is mad at her. And she's shocked. And she's like, well, someone's like, first of all,
Portia doesn't need anybody to help her. Oh, Cynthia says that. She's like, she's fine.
She'll gather somebody if she wants to. And she goes, well, I will say, Portia reached out to me
the day after Shemeah's birthday. And she said, we need to talk. So that's where we are now. She said, let's do
this somewhere you can afford. Please pack a sandwich. We'll just stop at a park.
Pete Slauson Yeah. So, Cynthia's like, well, I'm gonna leave you with this. Baby daddies,
yet different. So, now we go to Shamia's house,
where she's catching up with her sisters, Tawana and Glenda. And, um,
I'm starting to get a little nervous that as, as our,
is it going to be that every time we go to Shamia,
it's going to be like her with her family,
just like talking about shit about family stuff. Like, I'm kind of,
I know it's like the sad dramatic stuff, you know?
It's like, listen, I know she's gone through a ton with these kids and I think we all support
her. But I'm like, Oh, is it going to be that like every time we go to Shamiah, it's like,
and then today I've been going through so much. My child. I'm like, I don't know if
I could go through a crying over my child thing every single time we go to Shamiah.
Like it's getting, I know we're only three episodes in, but it's getting a little old
for me. It's real.
Jared Sienaar Could you like, could your kid please heal quicker? Because you're eating
into my time.
Peteus It's real. It's real. So, you know, it's real. But also, like, every time we go
to Shamiah, it's kind of this. And I'm like, I don't, I don't…
Jared Sienaar Yeah, but there's a lot of real stuff that happens in life that I don't
want to dwell on. I just ignore it. That's why I talk about this all day. I don't, I don't. Yeah, but there's a lot of real stuff that happens in life that I don't want to dwell
on. I just ignore it. That's why I talk about this all day. I don't want to talk about your
real stuff and your real pain. Okay? FF, fast forward this. So that's what I did. So good
luck to the kids. I hope that...
Yeah, basically it's that her daughter needs to get her tonsils out and she's like, now
her tonsils have to come out. I'm like, well...
I had to rewind that because she made, this was such a dramatic thing. She's like, first,
first what happened with Shiloh. And we know that that's really dramatic, you know? She's
like, and all this happened with Shiloh. My other daughter just doesn't want me to go
to the hospital. No, dry copy of again. Can I even do this again? And now Shia has to
get her tonsils out. I was like, tonsils?
I was like, what?
Samia. You have to build on the suspense.
Like Shia needs something worse, you know what I mean?
You can't go from the devastating Shiloh news to tonsils out.
I mean, come on.
I was actually glad that it was just tonsils, but I was like-
I know, me too.
Like ultimately it is good that it's just tonsils, but she talks about how her sisters
have been there for her and when things were really tough with Shiloh and everything, her sisters would like pick up, you know, like
Shia from school. And this is basically like it takes a village, yada, yada, yada. Very
nice. Kind of boring, but like great village. We love it. I want to see more of the elevator.
And she's, her journey is, is, um, it's boring. Okay. So next scene, now we go over to Angela
and Charles, the grumpy ass
husband I need. Now, I've been thinking about all these properties that they have. This
is too many properties, because she's obviously just starting out where she's like, and now
is where I prove to Charles that I can actually handle his money by buying five houses at
a time.
Too many houses.
One, this house that I'm going to welcome America into has an open concept, but then
a staircase
in the middle of the concept that goes down to hell.
It was just like a big room.
And then I got a staircase right in the middle.
I was like, what?
Why is there a staircase?
I think that staircase was, it was originally not an open concept, right?
And there were originally walls.
That staircase made sense where it was, but they clearly took down the walls.
And it was just a big open room with a staircase in the middle of it.
No, I've seen those kinds of staircases before where it's just like a big rectangular hole
in the floor and then they put a railing around it in the middle of the floor. It makes no
sense. I hate that style. I can't believe they kept that. Like if you're going to get
a house and redo it, you need to put a proper, proper staircase in that.
Like what are you, what are you a fire house? You know what I mean?
Get a pole. What are you, what are you, what are you Drew Sedora singing?
Do it right. So he's like, I'm almost done installing the light switches down here.
We call those Ralph ladders. So, um,
so Angela's like schlepping in all this heavy stuff.
And then finally like Charles shows up and she's like,
well, thanks a lot. Like now that I've taken in all the heavy stuff,
he's like, so, um, so he's, they,
they go in to bring all this stuff inside and everything.
They look around the house and she's showing him all the stuff that she's done.
She's like, look, you know, look at what I've done here.
We see before and after, you know, it's like a, you know, it's like a,
it was a nice house, a perfectly fine house. Let me just say she wasn't that drastic of see before and after, you know, it's like a, you know, it's like a nice house, a perfectly fine house.
They didn't do that much. Let me just say, she wasn't that drastic of a before and after.
Fix the stairs. You got to fix that. So, um, now we find out she wants a vow renewal and
he's like, fuck man, I'm exhausted. I'm old. Why do I have to do this? She's like, you
have to run a TV show now. It's my turn." So then she tells us this sad story. She tells us what made
him sad in the first place. You know, we get his origin story. So, at 2017 in Madison Square Gardens,
that was a rough time because Charles was attending a game and the owner doesn't like Charles,
and so he called security to escort Charles out. And that was right when they were married,
and then he needed time to heal. I was like, damn, that's getting kicked out. And that was right when they were married and then he needed
time to heal. I was like, damn, that's getting kicked out. How many places have I been kicked
out of? I'm fine. Well, maybe I'm not fine.
Pete Slauson She kind of like played it down because I remember
actually when it happened, it was kind of –
Pete Slauson What happened? Tell a non-sports gay what this means.
Pete Slauson I'm hazy on it, but like, he was in there
and he did get kicked out like made like news
It was like it was like it was trending all over Twitter. It was on the news everywhere
You know all the all the everyone on ESPN was all like, you know a buzz about it was like it was a thing
I don't really remember the details of it
but I know that people were shocked because Charles Oakley is like Nick's royalty and so for him to get kicked out of
MSG just was like, it felt like
rude. But I don't remember all the details around it, but I just know it was like...
Okay, well, here it is. We have AI, thankfully. Why did Charles Oakley get kicked out of MSG?
Charles Oakley was ejected from Madison Square Garden and arrested... Oh, she missed that
part. After an altercation with security guards stemming from comments he made to Nick's
owner, James Dolan, and was subsequently banned from the arena.
During the Knicks game against the Los Angeles Clippers, Oakley, who had purchased a seat
near Dolan, allegedly made comments directed at the owner.
Security approached him, an altercation ensued, with Oakley being escorted.
Charges. or security approached him and altercation ensued with Oakley being escorted charges.
He was charged with three counts of assaults and criminal trespass, pantsing, trespass.
He pantsed to him so it was awkward.
He took down the pants of Madison Square Garden and he went to jail.
Yeah, I feel like there was, there was like more to it.
Like it was, it was enough of a media kerfuffle that it was not just like, Oh, he just got kicked out. And that's why he was sad. Like I think that there was probably
some like media stuff that was, there was more to the story. I just don't remember.
And I didn't know.
Oakley has since filed a lawsuit against MSG and Dolan alleging assault, battery,
false imprisonment and defamation. But the case against him is assault and harassment and that was dismissed.
So he has not attended a Knicks game since and remains banned from MSG.
So, you know, I mean, I get it.
He didn't get to go see Adele, you know?
And now it's been a rough time.
And he's put his rage, he's put his rage or his frustration or his sadness, he's put his
emotions into making
large batch amounts of corn on the cob.
That's easy.
He's decided that now he's going to design homes that if he ever has Nolan over to his
house he can push him down the stairs more easily.
Yeah, like James Nolan standing right there.
So she says that this like made him really depressed and then it was really rough.
And you know, as you do when you're with a partner who's going through a rough time,
she was like, fuck this, I'm out of here.
Call me when you're happy again.
So she left him and then waited for him to get happy again and then got back together
with him.
That's my kind of girl.
He's like, and when he needed me the most, I said, fuck off, you're depressing,
call me when you're happier.
So, now they're gonna do a battle renewal, which means that we have about nine months
left of this relationship. And then she's talking about how she's going to therapy and
he's like, but that's, he's like, that's $3,000 a month. You know how many corn cobs you could
buy with that? God, you should love your therapist.
Is that a discount?
And she's like, why are you against therapy?
He's like, well, you should at least have a 20% off
when you go that often.
Isn't there like a punch card you get?
That is Wendy though, right?
I mean, how much therapy?
That is a lot.
She says it's only about 1200 a month.
So that's probably like 300 a session, four sessions a month.
I'm going to say.
Come on, la.
God, get a fucking lap dance.
You know what I mean?
It's called get a stock pot and some corn cobs and work it out that way.
It's a lot of peanut M&Ms.
That's what I'm saying.
So they decide that they're going to sell these houses first, but she doesn't like it
because she just bought five. She's like, oh my God. Okay. So now Drew goes to talk to
her lawyer. This office is considerably lower rent than Portia's. I felt bad for her because
Portia had the most glamorous lawyers we've seen. And Drew, you know, it was sad. It was
more Drew.
Poor Drew. She didn't even get a chance to go to see Randy, the official divorce lawyer
for all cast members of Atlanta. And she didn't get to ride that big elevator to a glassy
window. She was with Tanya, who as it turns out, I loved Tanya. And I loved how Tanya,
Tanya was shady and I thought she was great.
So Tanya was great because the other guy was like, oh my god,
Porsche. I love having you in my life. And I was like, Randy got put it back in your pants. What
a weird fucking thing for a word to say. But Tanya did not. She's like, okay, so sit down. I've got a
lot of folders here. She was like kind of time daily, you know, she's like, all right, I got
folders here to have a seat. Let me go through this shit drew. All right. You're willing to pay
me $5. I'm giving you five minutes. Sit down. and then go through this shit. Drew, all right, you've got, you're willing to pay me $5.
I'm giving you five minutes sit down.
We're going through this. All right.
She had TDE time daily energy.
So, so, but then we find out.
So true from the show with Amy Brannigan where time daily
was a social worker.
That's what I'm bringing it all back to Amy, Amy Brannigan.
As we always should. Technically I did mention it was Amy Madigan, not Amy Brennerman, but Amy Brannigan. As we always should.
Technically I did mention it was Amy Madigan,
not Amy Brenneman, but Amy Brenneman.
Oh, I was saying,
Amy Madigan. Who's on the spectrum.
Exactly.
But I think that- I don't just like to tell people
when they're on the spectrum, Amy Brenneman.
Amy Brenneman.
I'm gonna tell you.
Amy Brenneman and Amy Madigan.
Well, they're on, they're both Amys. Look, look up Amy Madigan. You'll recognize. No, I looked up, I only care about Amy Brenerman and Amy Madigan. Well, they're both Amys.
Look up Amy Madigan.
You'll recognize.
No, I looked up, I only care about Amy Brenerman.
Okay, so wait, Amy Madigan?
Okay, I'm gonna look her up.
She's just in things.
Madigan.
Okay, I'm gonna look her up.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no, let me tell you who she's no.
She's no Amy Brenerman, but she was an Uncle Buck, so that's something.
Okay, so anyway, Drew goes to see Time Daily Energy and Drew is like, you know, I just didn't
know the hearing was going to go like that.
I mean, Ralph didn't have a lawyer, so he represented himself, so he had to cross-examine
me?
That was horrible.
Pete Slauson Bravo.
Where were the cameras?
How did you not let us see Ralph cross examining Drew in a court of law?
This is one of the biggest fails.
This is up there with the Bolo night.
This is up there with the Orange County thing we just recapped where they didn't have the
cameras up.
This is up there with the black eye with Heather Gay.
How do you not have cameras on Ralph representing himself in court?
And I know that the show was on break when this was happening, but still you should,
you should still have people there. Like that movie that they did where they filmed it over
a kid's lifetime still just come out.
Yeah, Boyhood.
Yes. Like that.
Ralphhood.
Ralphhood. The journey to the basement.
We needed to see, we needed to see Ralph doing lawyer cosplay. So then Tonya was like,
it was actually a confirmation of all the things you've ever said about him and his
controlling and manipulative nature, you know, and you've been doing this for a long time
and we filed in 2023 and you know, we have a hearing coming up and she basically says
that, um, that, uh, he has been like,, they needed documents from Ralph so that way they know
how much he's going to pay. And so he handed over a giant stack of documents. And then when she looked
through them, almost all the documents were Drew's documents. And so he just handed a big stack. So
it looked like he was handing over a lot of documents, but he didn't actually hand over
any of his own documents. He doesn't do writing a book about fatherhood, about her son. And then, what else did he
do? He tried to produce music and he played music at church. What else did he do? He just
said financial a lot.
Pete Yeah. And then, then also, Tanya says, I love, this is my favorite thing that Tanya
does, she goes, so now, now currently the divorce file is sealed.
So only the judge knows what's in it.
So if it gets unsealed, well, like for instance, he's a serial cheater, he's taking money out
of your account.
He's been sexing with other women and how other women have been sending you messages.
He was following you.
He was tracking you.
That's all private and confidential and will only come out to America if this gets unsealed
and no one will ever know about it.
And I think she's saying that like, okay, like let's threaten Ralph, like we're going
to unseal this if you don't give us the documents right. But then Drew makes it about herself.
She's like, but all I care about is my kids reading and you know, all that coming out
is scary. They know, they know this shit. Oh my God. I mean, I would think that they would know this by now. And it does
suck for her kids, it does, but Ralph's a monster.
It does. I just love that the lawyer pulled the classic housewives, like, oh, well, I
never told anyone your secret that you did X, Y, and Z. She's like, this is all sealed
and confidential. And she's like, this is all sealed and confidential.
And she's like blurting it all out on camera.
All your darkest deepest secrets will never come out.
Like this one, that one, this one, that one.
Are you still rolling?
Okay, do you need another take?
Do you need it clearer?
And then Drew's like, thank you so much.
Oh God, keep me crying.
I almost made it without crying.
And Tana's like, you did, you almost did it,
but you failed.
Yeah. She's like, ah, Drew.
Sorry, I'm just still method.
You know, I finished a film in Puerto Rico.
She's like, get out, your five minutes is over.
Get the fuck out of my office.
So, Shamia and Shia go to the doctor.
Of course, you know, if you're getting your tonsils out,
you get a ride in the Rolls.
So they ride this giant ass Roll.
Shia is like so
teeny tiny in the backseat of this giant car. And it's really cute. They like pull up to
the hospital and Shia is waving at her doctor and they bring her in. She goes into surgery
and then Jeremy does...
Jared Sautner She does like a little TikTok in there or
something where she's like, guys, you know how a husband's stressed? He stands up in
the waiting room. Look at my husband standing up, honey, show him standing up. Look at him over there. That's cause he's
stressed. Am I right ladies? Like, can we not, can I not have to deal with your appendix
out tick tocks? No, I did not agree to this.
As someone who had an appendectomy almost two years ago, it was tonsillitis. Please
don't erase my surgery.
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Then we go over to Portia and Diane.
They're going to get a massage, a place called Massage Heights.
Why would you put something stressful to people? Like, that's a common fear. going to get a massage to a place called Massage Heights. And they're going to…
Why would you put something stressful to people? Like, that's a common fear. It's like massage
spiders. Maybe it's just what the castle of the heights is up to these days. Massage small spaces,
you know? Massage agoraphobia.
Massage agoraphobia. What would you make the word massage in with like a common fear?
It's so weird.
It sort of sounds like a neighborhood.
Where'd you move to?
Oh, it's this great place called Massage Heights.
Sounds terrifying.
Okay.
So, they're just making small talk, but then they start talking about how
hard it is for Porsche to deal with everything that she is dealing with, with Simon, who
seemed like such a good person.
He, we know how good Simon not be a good person.
We also get our annual, uh, disclosure from Porsche about her mom, which is my mom, she's
my confidant, my support
system, my prayer partner through this divorce. I'm like, we know, she's been on the show
for like 10 years now. You don't have to keep pitching your mom to us. We get Diane's
role in your life.
Pete Slauson Yeah. So, Portia is saying this is harder than
her first divorce, which that's another time she was locked out of the house. Remember,
Cordell locked her out too. So, Portia, first of all, Portia needs to learn to just get a locksmith.
Pete Liesvaard That's a good thing to see. And then also,
Pete Liesvaard My better taste in men.
Pete Liesvaard Better taste in men would also be helpful.
Pete Liesvaard That would be helpful. But yeah, I guess the Cordell thing,
that was easier because Cordell communicated with her, which I find odd. But yeah, I guess the Cordell thing, that was easier because Cordell communicated with
her, which I find odd. But this one, there's no community.
Jared Ranere Cordell was like, Icon Queen, yes, I'll get this divorce.
Pete Slauson Yeah, he's like, we're getting a divorce everywhere else, but I'm still a huge fan.
Jared Ranere Huge fan.
Pete Slauson Can you get me this autograph for me?
Jared Ranere Can you sign these papers for me? She's like,
there's no place for me to sign. I know, I just want your autograph. This has nothing to do with the divorce.
Peteus So, she's like, you know, normally you'll
have a conversation, but I even reached out to his pastor, which I mean, listen, Simon
is going down for fraud, lying, stealing, you know, a lot of stuff. But I'm sure he still goes to his pastor regularly.
Like if you really, I just went straight to the religion, you know, I'm sure it goes deep
with, I'm sure it goes deep with Simon.
Yeah. She also tried to reach out to his family and she explains that like in America, you
know, if you're going to break up essentially, a marriage, you file for divorce. But in Benin, uh,
the culture is you actually go through the family and the family like works it
out and intervenes and she was hurt because she went to the family and the
family was like, uh, just deal with the American legal. We don't,
we don't want to deal with this. So she was like really upset about that.
You've been married five minutes.
You're not going to turn five minutes of your life into 10 years of mine.
Bye. They're like, you're not the first person
this has happened to. We're not getting involved this time. Here's Randy.
Jared Larson So, now she's talking about Shemia and she's like,
I can't believe Shemia, you know, because I was like, isn't this where she's, oh, she told me that
she met with Kelly and Britt and they were talking about me. And I'm like, this isn't fun, you know?
I don't want to hear about all of these hating women.
And Diane's like, well, why would she want to tell you everything that somebody's been
saying?
I mean, that shouldn't do, she shouldn't do that.
That's hurtful, poor child, very hurtful.
So even Miss Diane's going to come on here and promote the storyline that Shemeah did
something bad. Jared Slauson Yeah. And she even says, she even says something
to the fact of like, well, you always have to question the dog that brings the bone.
And I'm like, fast forward to the reunion, Shemeah saying, you called me a dog, your mother called
me a dog. I know that's gonna happen. Pete Slauson
But also, just as far as that saying goes, the dog that brings the bone is a good dog.
Jared Slauson Yeah, it's a good dog.
Pete Slauson It's a trained dog.
Jared Slauson It's like doing like the most dog thing. Pete Slaus a bone is a good dog. Jared Slauson Yeah, it's a good dog. Pete Slauson Like, it's a trained dog.
Jared Slauson It's like doing like the most dog thing.
It's like, that dog has actually succeeded. Because there are a lot of dogs that just dig
holes and there's no bone in sight. Sometimes dogs just dig in a floor, they'll go to a carpet and
they'll just start pawing away. I'm like, you can't even dig there. You're a stupid dog. But like,
a dog that actually finds a bone and brings it to you?
Pete Slauson Like, Bueller doesn't bring a bone. If I throw a bone, he will go pick up the,
pick up the bone and then stare at me across the yard and be like, come get it, bitch.
Come fucking get it. And what if the dog takes the bone to another person? That's not loyalty.
If a dog brings you the bone, that's a good dog. I'm just saying. So it's a bad, it's a bad
job description. It's like, it's excelling. You know me, we just had a whole discussion about dogs,
but if a dog does bring the bone, it's like, well, you know,
what more could you ask for? Really? Like, yeah. So they're buy you a car.
Yeah. So they're trying to make this a thing with Shemia, which I don't like.
I think it's unfair. So then we go to the bummer bummer bummer.
All right. Let's go to bum. So, um, uh, succession, you know, is this a session music or is Karen was a sessions.
So Kelly's like, I'm hosting my event at Bama. This is my mommy and me event. I cannot wait to
see all the ladies, all their children,
because for some time, one of my dreams has been to raise some sort of awareness for
osteogenesis imperfecta. And I'm just super grateful that Balmont would partner with me for
osteogenesis imperfecta foundation. And I was like, okay, I don't know what that means, but I'll just
hold and I'm sure I will be told. So. So, Kelly, they all start to show up at
Balmain and she's very happy to do this mommy and me thing. Part of me was wondering when all the
kids arrive, is Kelly just going to ground them all? Because that's kind of what her tagline is
saying. She's like, thank you for all coming to Balmain. You're all grounded. Goodbye.
Jared Saskar So, all the ladies start coming and
Porsche is like, oh my god, my makeup artist is Drew's
makeup artist.
And Kenny's like, yeah, you already told me that.
She's like, yeah, well, so he told her that she was, that he was coming to me and she
slowed down in the lane so that he just got to me.
She did it on purpose.
So it's basically Drew's fault that I'm late.
So then Cynthia arrives and, um, she has, she has a fun wig on. I don't know how you describe it.
It's kind of like a mushroom thing, but it looks great. It's like a Joyce DeWitt. I call
it a Joyce DeWitt and I loved it on her. And other people are showing up and Cynthia is
talking to Portia and she's like, girl, I know this has been hard. I just went through
a regular divorce and I can't imagine having to go through
all the back and forth and dealing with
that whole social media thing.
Luckily, no one on social media cared about my divorce,
so I never had to worry about it
becoming a topic of conversation.
And she's like, this is someone who was around baby hot dog.
This was someone I trusted.
And then you completely turned into a monster.
Who would have thunk?
Shaq, you know, don't keep it together, Portia.
If you don't have to keep it together,
don't keep it together.
Be weak. Be weak if you need to be weak.
There could be good days, there could be bad days.
But you know what? You take the good, you take the bad.
You take them both, and there you have
the joys to it.
The joys to it.
Wait a second, those are two different shows.
Even I know that.
There's a time you gotta grow and show you,
know you're growing and now you know about Joyce DeWitt.
About Joyce DeWitt.
Well, since I'm a completionist,
I might as well end on this note.
Portia, if you ever have any issues,
come and knock on my door.
Come and dance on my floor.
We'll be waiting for you.
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his.
Who's coming to town?
Thank you.
So then Angela is talking, she's like,
well, I need a scene, so I'm gonna fight with Shemia.
You know, I'm gonna work this out.
Yeah, sorry.
I just loved looking at your face
while I was doing that whole thing. You're just staring at me.
I was reading notes. I was like, where do we pick up?
To me, I was like,
just cracked out.
Cynthia talking to three's company.
I just see your face like, okay.
I was like, if I contribute to this, if I contribute to this,
we're going to start the judging Amy theme.
I know what's coming.
You just have this look on your face like, just don't say anything. Let Ben get through it. I
just pulled a muscle in my side. Let him play it out. Just let it, it's like a flame. Just let it
just go and then we'll just get through it. I don't want to bring family ties in. I just saw
a lot of things coming down the pike that I was like, how long do you need this recap to be? So, no, I was just reading notes. So, then
they're talking. So, Angela basically announces to Cynthia, she's like, do you think I have time
to speak with Shemia? And she's like, oh, I forgot about Shemia. I was trying to get Portia together.
Auntie Cynthia, where do you need me? Do you need me to support you with Shemia?
So now Shemia, so Porsche is like,
Shemia, have you talked to that Angela girl?
She goes, oh, the one from the 90s?
She came from a block party in a time capsule
with a retro nose?
Like, oh no.
I was like, what?
Porsche goes, came in from a time capsule
and Shemia, she like sucks in her nose and everything. And she's like, yeah,
it's a little petty. I know, but I welcomed you into my home.
You ate some of my cake and then you can't,
you're going to come here with a nasty mouth. I've got nothing for you.
Yeah. I didn't know how I felt about the nose shaming, but I did.
Even though I've done it for like an hour in this episode already, but I did,
I'm not shaping, I'm not nose shape shaming, I'm nose sound shaming.
But I did love the, wait, what did I love?
The nose shaming.
Oh, I love the actual nose impersonation that she did.
I've never seen anybody do that.
Like she literally sucked her nose so hard that the sides of her nose just like went
straight in and became a skinny nose.
I don't think I've ever seen anybody do a nose impersonation before. So I'm going to hand this
one to Shamia. Yeah, it was pretty low down, but it was funny too. So Brittany, the store director
is like, hello everyone, I'm Brittany, president of local Balmain. And I just want to
say it's been such an honor having all these children in our store getting their fingerprints
and their juice boxes all over our expensive couture. Thank you so much for bringing these
little rugrats into Balmain. Please buy things because I'm desperate for sales,
desperate enough to do charities that allow children in. So please, please buy a Marius.
So Kelly, uh, explains what this charity is for.
And she explains that basically osteogenesis imperfecta is brittle bone syndrome
and or disease, which is really, and she says three of her kids have it,
which is really like that's, I saw,
I saw a documentary somewhere along the way in the past few years,
someone was had it and they talked about like, you know,
just constant surgeries, constantly breaking their, their lit,
like their limbs bones. It's like,
it's a really scary and difficult disease. So I know I saw that documentary.
It's it's starred Lawrence Fishburne, no, not Samuel Jackson and...
Unbreakable.
Bruce.
Yeah, Bruce.
So, she tells, and this is actually a crazy story because she, her kid was getting broken
bone so much that she was taken to the hospital and they kept the kid there because they thought
the kid was being abused by the mom.
So, this was really, really crazy. And she's like, and finally, they found the disease,
and they understood what she had, and she's back with me, and she's completely safe now.
She just has a kind of an irrational hatred of Bruce. But otherwise, she's doing great.
Pete Slauson Yeah. Man, that is, I got, my heart goes out to those kids. That's really hard. Pete Slauson That's crazy, isn't it? That is such like a
random disease that the kids have. That's insane. Oh my god.
Pete Slauson I feel bad that they have to…
Pete Slauson I didn't know that was even a real thing. I really
did just think that was from that film. Scary.
Pete Slauson No, it's a real thing. And, you know, I feel bad that they have to live
with that. But at the same time, I'm sure they have found ways to do it and everything. And it's not about pitying, but it's just like, man, that is hard. So then Drew arrives.
So that's why the kids carry 17 purses. They have to have cushioning.
So Kelly does this whole speech that is very moving. And it's like, you know, you're like,
damn, like you have a moment where you do have like amidst all this, you say, wow, like these kids are, they have to deal with a lot, these
kids and they should not have to deal with it because they're kids and they're dealing
with a lot.
It's a very, it's a, it's a halting moment and it's beautiful and lovely.
So of course, Drew Sedora misses the whole thing.
So somehow Drew, Drew Sedora, who had first dibs on the makeup person, then somehow winds
up showing up later after Portia.
She shows up 66 minutes later and misses the whole important,
the whole point of this entire Balmont event
was this speech by Kelly.
Shit.
So she comes and they're like, have you spoken to Portia?
Are you gonna fight with Portia today?
And Kenny is like, oh, she's right there.
You can't miss those hips, come on.
She's like, well, if I talk to you, then okay.
I mean, I'm just fine.
I'm just not gonna force anything, okay?
So now we get the Angela versus Shemia.
So she's like, hey, Shemia,
I think we got off on a bad foot, you know?
And she's like, yeah, yeah, we did.
We sure did.
We got off on a bad foot.
Angela's like, well, that's just not the temperature
of the room that I like to operate in. And so if there's any time that we can talk and then Shamiya, like,
Shamiya's like, well, I would love to talk and I would love to meet Angela, not Drew's representative.
And she goes, Okay, well, that was Angela who you met that was and she goes, Oh, really? So you speak
on Drew's behalf. And she goes, I will if I want to. And she's like, okay, well then we don't need
to talk about it because your feelings are
what your feelings are.
And she's like, okay, and so are yours.
And she's like, yes, and so I'm cool on you.
Thank you, thank you.
You are dismissed.
And just like, oh, you're cool on me?
Be nice then, because you're a mean girl, okay?
You're a mean girl, girl.
And Shamina goes, actually, you're the mean girl. And she goes, no, you're a mean girl. It goes with your name, Shamina. You're a
mean girl.
And Shamia doesn't get it. She goes, actually, my name is Shamia. She goes, right, which
is why I said Shamina. She's like, no, that's not my name. My name is Shamina.
Okay, so you need to see my driver's license.
Okay, what I'm trying to describe to you, so you have three syllables in your name,
sha, me, ah, and if you add an N in the middle one, it becomes sha, me, nah, do. So do you
see why the name actually fits?
But that's my name and I will not be called by any name other than my own. She's like,
oh my God, not only are you being an asshole, you're being an unfunny asshole. She's like,
well, I will not speak to you. I'm Shamiah.
So Shamiah goes back to the nose thing and she's like, well, if you don't take it on
back with that 99 nose, then don't do that. And she was like, okay, flavor, flavor, you
need a clock. Like it didn't even make sense to me. I just thought like, like at that moment
when she said it, it didn't make sense. I just love that. She's like, okay, flavor,
flavor, you need a clock. And so then Angela explains, she's like, you know,
if there's a lot of so hard,
this is the thing that's being brought up at this episode.
All got Rick Ross now we've got flavor, flavor, his big clock.
Did she call me a flavor? Flav? I was like, okay,
I'm officially on Angela's sits high the rest of the season.
She already has one of my idols from the nineties.
So then Angela's explains that flavor of flavor.
She's like, you know, flavor of flavor was one of the biggest hype men.
And I feel like Shamia is the loudest one in the room and Portia is Chuck D. And I mean,
she just shows up and collects her check and Shamia does all the hard work.
Oh my gosh.
So she's like, oh really?
Well we're taking over for the nine nine and the 2000 with that nose.
And Kelly's like, ladies, ladies,
we need to know how to act in our environment. What is happening here?
This is a bottom hole. Yeah. And she's like, well,
she needs some glue to get her nose back down. And she's like, can someone,
can someone get your nose out of Porsche's ass? And Kelly's like, um, okay,
everyone, we're just still chopping till we drop right here at Bama.
I like that it cuts to Porsche and Porsche's like,
uh-uh, I need lawyer money, I'm not buying nothing.
Yeah.
Smart.
So Brits, Brits are, wait a minute, I heard no's,
what the fuck is happening over here?
And Shemeah's like, oh, she's trying to read me about asking drew a simple question. What I said was,
are you dating? Are you a thing? And Angela's like, Oh really? Well,
if she goes there, I would go there.
And Portia's like, Shemeah, you did talk about someone's nose.
Like that's a physical feature. And she was like, well, she called me flavor,
flav. So we're even Angela's life. And then Angela's saying,
you know, I'm so calm. You know,
my husband would be proud of me because I'm so calm.
And she Mia says she explains that she was flavor Flav for Halloween,
which maybe that was the true origin of the reference. And she goes, well,
I was flavor Flav for Halloween,
but I just didn't know that Angela was going to be Latoya Jackson today.
Then it got to Angela and I was like, well, that wasn't too far off. So Britt's like, I don't want to laugh, but she does kind of look like Latoya Jackson.
I just love that they're just going into these like pop culture references of the 80s and
90s.
It's like, that's all I need.
And Kenya who, um,
a few weeks from now is going to post naked pictures of Brittany with dicks
hitting her face or something. We haven't seen it yet. So that's just a rumor.
It's like, but wait, how do you insult a girl's nose? That's not right.
Morally, where does that come from? And Porsche is like,
why are y'all stuck on the nose? I mean, she called her flavor play.
I mean tip for tat.
Ladies, are you serious? You guys should have, you know,
you guys should have saved that for the parking lot,
not for inside.
Bah, ma.
We don't do that over here in Phipps.
You do that in Lennox, but not in Phipps.
So now the party is going on
and Shemeah is telling Drew, thank you for hearing me out.
And again,
I apologized for the other day if I embarrassed you, that was not my intention. And Drew's like,
I appreciate that. I appreciate that. You know, I wore my Ivana wig. It was a very important wig.
And to be dressed down wearing an Ivana wig is very difficult.
Pete Slauson You know, I'm sorry, Shamia, if you can't hear me, I was screaming all weekend on set
for a horror movie in Puerto Rico, so I have to speak a little quietly.
I would have a more emphatic response to this, but my voice is gone after my method acting
in Puerto Rico.
I was in Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico running from the killer.
It was very, very scary. So, um, then Kelly says,
announces to us that they raised about 30,000. Well, they, these people spend about $30,000.
They raised a lot of money for the charity and everything. And then drew goes up to Portia
and she's like, Portia, you said you wanted to talk and Portia's like, yeah, no, I'm feeling
good this week. So I'm not feeling good. So let's do it next week." And she's like, but we can talk now. It's like, no, rather not. And everyone's like, oh, okay.
Yeah, she's doing the, um, Craig where she's like, we're going to talk on my own time. I am a
business person. So then, um, we see the kids. Oh, sorry. Well, Portia explains why. Cause then
she says, you know, she was like, she was like, she was like, I want
to talk to you and I was like, Oh, you want to talk now?
Where's this audacity coming from?
And then I look back and the audacity is behind me with braids.
I said, Oh, her sister's here.
She brought heavy D out.
It's like every one nin just one 90s reference after another.
Heavy D just, it doesn't even like, oh my God, like calling Allison Heavy D. I don't even,
like it doesn't even, oh man.
Yeah. So she's like, I'm not even about to get into this with two people on me. So she was like,
I mean, girl, you texted me that you wanted to talk and now you don't want
to talk. I mean, you can definitely come to the studio and we can have a conversation, but in a
song? I don't know. Will Dennis even be there? Probably. He's supposed to be executive producing
this album. Oh, my bro, who's only my producer and not my friend at all. And Porch is like,
get me out of here. And Kelly just says, that's a wrap. I'm sorry.
Can we just do that work waffle and it's a waffle. It's a, it's a waffle wrapped around
a sandwich and bomb off.
And that was the end of the episode. So I was cracking up so funny. Um, love it. Thanks
everyone for being here. Hopefully we'll see a bunch of you this weekend
and stick around for all sorts of fun recaps this week and we'll catch you in the next one.
Bye everyone. Yeah, and rejoin us today on Patreon for some White Lotus coverage. Bye!
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