Watch What Crappens - #2775 Below Deck Down Under S03E08: Bat’s Entertainment!

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

On Below Deck Down Under, Wihan continues to be utterly useless as he lazes about the boat and whines anytime anyone calls him out. Meanwhile, Lara tries to cobble together a Fear Factor dinner featuring cooked bat. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Indeed.com slash wonder ECA. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkirch and joining me as usual is the wonderful Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. Ronnie Karam Well, hello. What's going on with you, baby? Ben Mandelkirch You know, it's Tuesday, it's Below Deck Day. Very excited to talk about it. In case you didn't hear, one of our many announcements

is that we're covering White Lotus on Patreon now. So if you want to hear the rest of the season recapped, and if you want to hear a recap of the season so far, go to patreon.com slash watch what happens and get involved with that. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Also this weekend, we're going to DC and Philadelphia on Saturday and Sunday respectively. In DC, we're going to recap the part one of the Southern Charm Reunion, which should be really fun. And then in Philadelphia, we're going to recap the latest Summerhouse. So thanks in advance to everyone who is going to be tuning in wondering where our Summerhouse recap is on Thursday. If you could just wait just a few days, we'd really appreciate that.

Go get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. And then after those shows, we continue onwards and upwards. We're going to Boston, Detroit and Chicago in April. And then in May, we're going to Austin, Dallas and our very first ever show in Las Vegas, which that's going to be a wild one. a wild one. So yeah, watchcrapits.com for those tickets. And then also we're adding Top Chef to the schedule this week, which is going to be fun. And yeah, it's because we did it. We are adding the last two episodes of White Lotus. We've just put a White Lotus catch up over on our Patreon. And we're going to do the last two episodes over at Patreon. So go join up at Patreon. Also, Hannah and Daisy from Below Deck Yacht, Hannah from the Below Deck Med and Daisy from Below Deck Sailing Yacht are teaming up to take people on their own private yacht tour of the coast of Croatia. It's going to be amazing. They're going to be partying with people. They're doing, basically you and seven of your friends go on this yacht and party with Daisy and Hannah.

So it sounds like an amazing vacation. So if you guys wanna find out more about it, email them over at partywithdaisyandhannahatgmail.com. Partywithdaisyandhannahatgmail.com. I wanna go. That sounds really good. Yeah, that'll be fun. Croatia's beautiful. Hell yeah.

You're on below deck. You're on below deck experience without douchebags and cameras everywhere. I know. What a dream. But today we are going to talk about a below deck experience with douchebags and cameras. We're talking about below deck down under. Someone came up to us, I think at our Charlotte show and made a really, really strong observation. And she said it so with pure kindness, she was like, you guys have not been doing, have not been highlighting the fish cameos in Bloatuck Down Under recently. And we're like,

you know what? You were absolutely right. We will highlight those fish because this show gives us so many wonderful aquatic cameos and they deserve to be noted. They deserve to be highlighted. And I don't know about you, Ronnie, there was one fish in particular to this week that really caught my eye. I wonder if you used it. No, well, there was the fat. Well, there was, there was definitely like some good blowfish content, which I appreciate both by the way, there's some blowfish on the latest white lotus too. There was a big old dead blowfish, which, but there was a living one in this one. But I fished.

I didn't see the blowfish. I wasn't calling him fat. I was calling, it was kind of like a triangular big fish. Like we'll say maybe triangular. Is that what you were? Yeah. I don't know. There was definitely that.

I saw that. I saw the, my favorite fish of the week, my fish of the week goes to, there was like a fluorescent green long skinny fish. Did you see that one? That just sort of sat there. It was like a fluorescent green, long skinny fish. Did you see that one that just sort of sat there? It was like, it looked like, is that called a pencil fish? Whatever it was, it was like long. It looked like a flute or a Piccolo and it was just there fluorescent green and just hanging out by some pebbles. And then we just got a big long shot of it. And I said, we know what, we didn't get the more at Yale this week, which by the way, that's not right. We should get the more at Yale.

But if we get that pencil fish, which I'm not sure it's a pencil fish, but I'm calling it a pencil fish. If we get that every week, I will be a happy man. Cause that was, that was a star right there. That was a very good performance. We got a wall fish, which is like just the fish that's like completely flat. How did those fish live their lives? I mean, their goal weight, but you know what? I'll bet they sit there and they talk about themselves badly. They're like, oh my God, I'm just so huge because they are huge, but they're only huge in one angle. You know, the other way they're, I mean, they could fit through two sheets of paper. These looks like go through. I bet they're really insecure. It's like your big old long places.

Pete Slauson Yeah, those flatfish are crazy. Like a flounder. Pete Slauson But my favorite of the whole year has been, there was this crab, it was huge, and it looked like kind of a drag queen crab. I mean, it looked like it was wearing jangles and bangles and like a wig. I mean, this crab was amazing, and I've been looking for another shot of that crab, and I haven't seen it.

Yeah, I feel like I saw a crab recently that was really a really good crab. Was it on last night's episode? I also wanna amend something. I said pencil fish saw a crab recently that was really a really good crab. Was it on last night's episode? I also want to amend something. I said pencil fish. I meant needle fish. I think what we saw was a fluorescent green needle fish and it was just a real star. But yeah, that crab, I think I know which one you're talking about. Oh God. If you saw it, you would never forget it. You would definitely never. Never. Because it looked like it was literally wearing tons of jewelry and it

had so much like, I guess moss on it that it looked like it had a shawl. I mean it was a great crap and it just kept coming in and out of its hole. Like it was like cameras are here. I would like come out and then it would go back in and it's like, that's all you get. You know, there was a lot of clown fish content. There was actually one shot like a really extreme close up of a clown fish. And I appreciate that. We all love clown fish fishes. They really, you know, ever since finding Nemo, clownfishes have really, you know, they've really come up in the world,

but they're so on the nose. It's like, it's manipulative. And they're so like, I get frustrated with clownfish because of finding Nemo, because that fucking fish, it's like, I'm trying to eat my cereal and I have to feel guilty about you going missing. You know what I mean? And that's how I feel about Nemo. Yeah. I kind of feel like Nemo like stay put. Like this is kind of your fault.

I don't know. Why should I feel bad? They warned you like the survival of the fittest. Sorry. And how many people have you put in danger due to your stupid decisions? But you get a movie. You know what I mean? You get like a whole movie about you.

Meanwhile, the entire ocean has to be turned upside down just to find you because you were reckless, Nemo. And so therefore I don't find clownfishes as cute anymore because I do get annoyed at Nemo. And I just feel like it's people's, you know what it is? It's also like no one really thought about clownfishes before Nemo came along. And then all of a sudden Nemo came along and everyone's like,

oh, they're so cute. And everyone acts like they always thought clownfishes were the cutest. You never thought they were cute until Nemo came along. I don't feel like, I don't feel like I always thought they were pretty. Here's the thing. Like I think it's unfair because those fish are like just naturally well-dressed and so everybody's nice to them. It's like people who were born like with model looks, everybody's like, oh my God, they're, they're really an asshole,

but God, they're really good looking. Like that excuses something. You know what I mean? And clownfish, what do they have to work for? Nothing. Because they come out with like these perfect outfits. They're all the same size. They all look perfect. They're all like wearing these fabulous clothes and everybody's like, oh wow, that fish automatically gets my respect. And I'm like, that fish didn't have to do it. You want to talk about fucking fish privilege. The clownfish has it. Pete Slauson They do. But you know what's great about the clownfish is that they have staggering insecurity because they're called clownfish. And there's no know what's great about the clownfish is that they have staggering insecurity because they're called clownfish.

And there's no reason for them to be called clownfish. They don't like people named clowns. Yeah, like they're 100% not clowns. They should be called like the masoni fish or something like that. Like they've just got beautiful chevron all around them. And the fact that someone said, oh, they're a clown, they have to live with that because no matter how beautiful, how popular they are, how well dressed they are, at the end of the day, they're a clown. And that's kind of, that's hard to live with that because no matter how beautiful, how popular they are, how well dressed they are, at the end of the day, they're a clown.

And that's kind of, that's hard to live with. Well, I think that they were born to like an ugly doctor and the mom passed out after birth. She was like, oh my God, it was a difficult birth. So she passed out. And then the doctor was like, I'll name it for you, clown. You're a clown, kid. You're never going to make it with your fabulous outfit.

And that's all you've got, you shallow clown. And then so the clown had to spend, the first clown had to spend the rest of its life proving its worth, you know, which he never really did. So the word clown fish stuck, you know, they never had to make it because they're just adorable. I think the doctor was so mean to that fish also because it's like clearly that like the doctor and the mom were, they were like a, it was like husband and wife, right? Like if he delivered his own life fish child.

And then it was like obvious when like the fish came out and was like, it was like supposed to be a goldfish because they're both goldfish. And then all of a sudden, wait a second, what are these bands of white that are going around? Who have you been sleeping with? And it turns out like the mom was sleeping with a halibut. So he's like, I'll never accept this bastard clown of a child. Pete Slauson Yeah. And like, well, we can't put bastard clown of a child as its name. So we'll just go with clown. It's a clownfish. Pete Slauson And thus, we got these stupid fish.

Okay, so we open with this episode. It's called Rumble in the Jungle. Dun dun dun dun dun. Season three, episode eight. Pete Slauson Why is it called Rumble in the Jungle? Jared Slauson Because they have like a Fear Factor jungle theme thing later on and they start in the jungle. And this jungle, this jungle around, RIP George Foreman,

cause wasn't the Rumble in the Jungle his big thing? Anyway, so they, this episode by the way- Grill was his big thing. I know, but wasn't the Rumble in the Jungle, like Rumble in the Jungle, wasn't that George Foreman? No, he was like grilled chicken without any fat. And I was like, you're a liar. You're a was that George Foreman? No, he was like grilled chicken without any fat. And I was like, you're a liar. You're a liar, George Foreman.

The Rumble in the Jungle was George Foreman versus Muhammad Ali, where they both presented competing patents about grills. I don't like that violent sport. Okay, well, good news, no boxing here. However, this was also the episode really that finally locked in truly that Vion is terrible. I remember the beginning of the season,

we actually thought he was okay. We're like, oh, he seems like he should be a douche bag, but he's actually all right. And then this episode, he just was inept and he whined the entire time and did no work. And he's just awful. Yeah, I think below deck has just gotten us to a point where if someone doesn't commit assaults,

we're like, oh my God, good for him. I know, he's doing great. We're like, he's a great boss. He may have other faults, but at least he didn't do that. Yeah, he sucks though. And he really bungled up, it was a bungle in the jungle, which is a song, where he really messed up this picnic

because he didn't even go on it. He sort of didn't even do any scouting. He didn't get any information. He didn't get any reconnaissance. No one knew what to do. Timing was wrong. No one knew about the surfaces. No one knew how far it was from the beach thing.

I don't even have to tell you, it's just a disaster and it's really all his fault. And he is on the boat asking, uh, the new girl to make cheese plates for a dare. And he's just like resting and looking himself in the mirror. Yeah. And he's so lazy. He's so lazy. And that, they really highlighted that in this episode, which was fun. So we are still at the group trip that he didn't plan. So, everybody's out, you know,

looking at the tortoises, you know, all the... Jared Larson David. Peteus Yeah. Tortoise David. I feel like all the... And again, I stand by this, like, if you have aging guests, take us to a tortoise place, because our skincare regimen looks so amazing compared to theirs. Jared Larson We're like, wow. Peteus Mm hmm. Peteus They're all 100, you know? That's where I

want to party. Like, take me to a place where there's like a good 150-year-old party, you know? That's where I want to feel like young and hot. So, they're doing that. Meanwhile, Serena is stuck with the food and waving flies away because she had to put up the food too early because nobody is coordinating this trip. So, she's getting all mad. and she's like, oh my God, I was told lunch would be at 12 instead of 1230. I mean, what is this? And you know, she shoes away the flies and I felt bad for the flies because they finally got a decent meal. It's not poop. It's not a pile of poop and they're already getting shooed away. Yeah. So meanwhile, Vion's just like in the, he's taking a shower. He's looking himself

in the mirror. I mean, he really is. And so- He even tells himself, hey handsome, in the mirror. Yeah, it's like, do people, I didn't know people really did that. That's just- I do that. Hey handsome. Yeah, I do that in the mirror.

Yeah. Actually. Well, I'll tell you who doesn't do that, the clownfish. The clownfish knows. I bet he does. His sordid past. Oh, fish are the mostfish. The clownfish knows. I bet he does. He's sort of passed. Oh, fish are the most, oh my God, fish are the most narcissistic. Cause they have glass homes, like when they're domesticated, you know, they've got like glass homes,

so all they do is look at themselves all day. Don't talk about a fucking narcissist, it's a clownfish, trust me. You know what expression fish hate? People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Cause they're like, I can't even, why do you keep saying that to me? I don't have hands.

Yeah, they're like, also people without hands shouldn't throw stones. Great saying, fucking asshole. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for making a saying that does not apply to me. Now please get away from my tank so I can continue to stare at the hottest person in the world, myself.

Hello, handsome. Hello. So, so Laura starts heading over to the beach picnic, et cetera. And meanwhile, Alicia is, she's just snapped at, she didn't really snap, but she was sassy. She was shady, um, to, she wasn't shady, but she was snarky to be on because members, he asked about the cheese plate. Are you worried about all the Alicia fans coming for you?

That cause I mean, I just want to make sure I, I don't like using the wrong word if I can help it because I met, I like to, I like to be able to make fun of people on Bravo for using the wrong word. But so the more I use the incorrect word, the more I lose my wrong word shading capital. And so I want to like build up that bank

of like wrong word capital. That's for now. So I'm trying to use the right word here. So anyway, Alicia felt a slight sense of perturbance at Vihon. By the pulchritude of her face. So, so Alicia, basically she sassed Vihon and she's like, she had said like, oh, like, she's going to be into you even though you've gone through half the crew, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, which was admittedly out of place even for, even though we don't like Vian. And so now she's stressed about it. She's like, oh, my goal for the charter season is to basically make the best impression, but fuck me. I've already pissed off the Bowson and usually have zero filters, but I'm, so I'm not surprised by this but I should not

have had that outburst like eat some Humber Pie and apologize and by the way something I'd like to say about Alicia is I mean I'd like her so far but for some reason I was really turned off by she had taken her hair and she'd like turned it into like these big spools of hair where the hair was all dangling down and all I could imagine was just hair in all the food. I don't know why. I don't know why when the hair is like in a ponytail, it feels better, but like it was all up and dangling like a weeping Willow. And I was like, I feel like this is not what I feel as a chef.

You shouldn't have your hair like that. Am I incorrect in that saying that? Yeah. Well, I don't know because I like her hair because I like that she does the two little buns on her hair, like the lady in Sweeney Todd who turns people into meat, like they're serial killers, but they turn people into meat pies. So I like that.

That's the best thing about us. Because I like a badass. Here's where I kind of lost a little respect. This part where she apologizes to that douchebag. You don't know that guy anything, and don't fucking apologize to him. I like you right now. But now you're like kind of erasing it with an apology,

so I don't like that. So she sends him a text and meanwhile, um, Vion and Harry are serving themselves lunch and Harry, you know, Vion serves a ton and Harry's like, come on, leave some for me. And he's like, Oh, come on, it's not too much. And so Jason is talking about having to relocate the boat because captain Sandy's nemesis is here. The wind, the wind. The wind. It's here guys. Yeah, there's a swell.

There's a swell. Norma must've jumped into the ocean. So- Norma must've done a cannonball day. Cannonball Wednesday. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Bloop. Oh, you better watch your ass

or I'm gonna spank ya. I mean, spanks ya. Bloop. Ha ha ha ha. Bloop. Bloop. Oh, you better watch your ass or I'm gonna spank ya. I mean, spanks ya. Bloop. Bloop. Well, you would like to spank me because you've got nothing else to do in your life because it's sad and boring. Okay, you already lost this text fight

because all I saw were three dots pulsing for too long. You lose. Bloop. Love you, bitch. Bloop. I'm out of practice, bitch. Bloop. Bloop. I'm out of practice. Sorry. I've been on vacation. Bloop. So Jason is leaving the boat to go check out Colma Waters. So then Vyond's like, what does it mean? What does it mean we need calmer waters? And then

his food slides off the table onto the floor and the dish breaks because, you know. He does it because the thing is he sort of like, sort of throws his food, the plate on there and then, you know, like, I don't know. So, then it just slides off. He's just so inept at everything. And of course course he makes a huge mess and everything. So Jason is saying that they're going to be going to Ladique. You know, this is our first time in Ladique and it's paradise, but the weather we can't control. So we're going to go because, you know, we have to find new anchorage because that's what we have to do. So then everyone is, they're biking over to this beach picnic. There are flies everywhere.

It continues to be a disaster. But they get there and by the time they get there, they've made it look all nice. And Serena is saying, you know, like, I wanted to bring a little bit of England to the Seychelles, those little finger sandwiches, lobster rolls, and tiny little cupcakes that have the Gallagher brothers frosted on top of them. So the ladies all love their lunch, everything worked out great, guys. And then Serena's like, Laura, because she's done like kind of this big tomato tart and all this stuff that they're doing with their hands or cutting it and taking it with their hands. And so Laura's like, so what are we serving these people with? She goes, oh, there's no tongs or anything. You know, that's just how we're doing it today. There's nothing to serve. And Lara's like,

I'm not ideal. Because now this is cemented as Lara's biggest storyline of the season. Why won't this fucking chef use serving things? I know. She's so confused about why she can't just get this woman to use a tongue or a spoon. She doesn't get it. I don't either really. It's an ongoing issue. So, um, the picnic is there, they're they're they're having fun, taking photos, eating food, having a great time. And then now Johnny is taking photos of them. This is like, apparently this is kind of his specialty is he takes

photos of the guests. Like he's always like, beautiful, beautiful pose, posed by the rock. Oh, fabulous. Like beautiful piece of spanacopita. Pete Slauson He does a very weird pose himself though as he's taking the pictures. I don't know if you noticed, but he bends all the way over like he's touching his toes and then takes a picture that way. I did not notice that. Why are you taking a picture like that? It's like dropping the soap.

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to Armchair Expert on YouTube. So then Zarina and Bree are just heading back to the boat and Zarina's like, I literally didn't realize I could sweat from some of these areas. It's behind the knees. It's like Niagara Falls coming out from behind my knees right now. Isn't that lovely? It's disgusting. I'm so glad I'm not there. Like it looks like paradise. I think I'm really going to be a big fan of VR once it becomes like good enough that we can just sit around and like be on VR all day because I can see all this beauty, but not have to feel the heat of it.

Have to feel the gross sweating behind my knees. Not that I've never felt sweating behind my knees before, but that's how I know it's disgusting, you know? Pete Slauson Yeah, yeah. It's, this is definitely one of the most humid seasons of Below Deck we've ever seen. Like, I get sticky just watching it. John McPherson Yeah. So, Johnny is doing his direction. He's like, don't be afraid to lean on rock. There. There is the confidence we love. Lady leaning on rock, photo by Johnny.

Like a beautiful young Artemis in her prime. So now there's more making food and Alicia's basically, she's really stressed because she should be making food, but now she's, she's stressed and distracted because she's thinking about how to craft an apology to Vion, which is so stupid. And like, yes, she shouldn't have to apologize in the first place. Although she is like hierarchical hierarchically, she like, she, she should have said that to someone who's higher up and she's doing the right thing. She shouldn't have to do this. She shouldn't do it, but it's technically the right thing. She shouldn't have to do this. She shouldn't do it But it's technically the right thing

but the point is that he put her in this position in the first place and he should have never walked in there and asked for A cheese plate while she was working and it was on charter And so like that she was even put there in the first place is where the real fuckery is and now she's sitting here in A situation where she has to focus on beyond and his emotions rather than the food Yeah, cuz if we're gonna talk about hierarchy here in a situation where she has to focus on Vion and his emotions rather than the food. Yeah, because if we're going to talk about hierarchy, he shouldn't be trying to fuck one of his underlings either and writing her love letters and making her cheese plates because you know, power imbalance, et cetera. So I'm not going to stand up for him. Fuck

him. I don't think she should ever apologize to him. And if he can go hit on an underling, she can make fun of him for it because he's the first one he threw the rules out. So fuck that guy. Yeah, fuck him for it because he's the first one he threw the rules at. So, fuck that guy. Yeah, fuck that guy for sure. So, she sends the message and he gets it and he goes, Oh my God, she sent me a message. Listen to this message. I feel so bad for being rude earlier. I follow your heart. And who's me to be saying anything? Oh, well, she's just playing a game trying to make someone jealous.

That's how he's like, uh, who is she trying to make jealous? And he's like, Oh, really? Me. Wait, how would Vian be jealous from this tech? Like, why would she be trying to be like, he is like, literally so stupid. And Harry's like, do you reckon he's like, well, I mean, look, what does it have to do with her? I mean, look, follow your heart. And who's, who's mean to be saying anything? Like, what does it even make sense? She just wants me to be jealous. She wants me so badly. Yeah, and Harry's like, that's her apologizing. He goes, no, you know what I think? She's like, okay, I'm going to flirt with the one who's been taken and make all the other boys jealous.

Oh my God, you are so stupid. You are literally so stupid. And then it dawns on me he just literally doesn't know words. He doesn't understand. Follow your heart. And then it dawns on me he just literally doesn't know words. He doesn't understand. Follow your heart. And he doesn't understand even what she's talking about. He's literally an idiot. And I love what he just has this big blink, blink in his eyes where he's like, blink, blink, blink. And at this point, at least we know he's just stupid, you know? Pete Slauson Yeah. Yeah. I literally am, I can't even follow his logic and how he's interpreting it. I think that I think your answer is the best one, which is that he just doesn't understand the words. So he's just,

he's built this case that the case itself doesn't make sense because he doesn't make can't make sense of this. So Harry's like, Oh, I don't know how delusional you have to be to think that if you get a chance from a girl, she likes you. I mean, this isn't the bitch law. It's a super yacht. Now I hope tonight I can give my, I can give my tragedy story to bring and she'll fall in love with me and give me a rose. Exactly. Cut to a scene of Harry asking if he can reserve a master bedroom. So then everyone heads back and Marina is asking Alicia like, like with help or whatever, or she's asking for help and they're all getting ready and there's going to be some drinks that are handed out and Jason's asking how everything went and beyond like,

Oh, it was amazing. He's like, okay, so what's the plan now? It's like, well, I'm going to go pick up Johnny and the down now all this stuff. And like, God, captain Jason's just wants me to be jealous. Like, why is he all up? I thought he was straight, but it looks like he's coming on to me. It's like out of control. So Serena comes back complaining, of course, she's telling Alicia like, oh my God, it was horrible. It was the most unorganized mess. It was terrible. Just make some crew food. All right, let's just do a tomato mozzarella salad, keep it simple. So then, Vion is complaining about being exhausted. Oh, no, no, sorry, Johnny is telling him he's exhausted. And he's like, you know, it's the long distances, too much walking, too much carrying,

and imparting such wisdom as feel free to lean against a rock. Using my art, my craft. It was not easy, but I changed a woman today. A woman became an artist today. Thank you. Her name was Nia Vardalos. So, Zarina is, she's cooking, she's getting, she's prepping some food and she announces that she's like,

so I got a recipe from a local woman about this bloody bat. And it turns out she's literally cooking bat, which I was not expecting. But apparently it's a local delicacy in the Seychelles. Pete Slauson You know, one of the ladies requested bats, and I think it's the Australian lady. And so they're going to have a fear, a fear, fictor, a fear fictor. They're going to have a fear factor night where they have a bunch of grody things and then the ladies eat crazy things like bats. I can do that at home.

You know what I mean? I don't want to go put my hand in spaghetti and pretend it's something disgusting on a luxury yacht. I am open to eating local delicacy. Like if I were in the Seychelles and they said that was a delicacy, I would eat the bat. I would do that. But what I'm not, I don't think, what I don't think I want to have a fear factor experience. Like you just said on a super yacht,

like if I want to have a fear factor experience, I'll I will literally go to like Sizzler or something, but I don't have a shower where there's full length mirrors. You know what I mean? But I'm not doing that on the sleeper yet. I want to have a luxury factor experience. It's like, all right teams, you have five minutes to sit on the Chez Lounge and go.

Yeah, the real fear factor is going to like the breakfast day at the Hyatt Place or whatever. Oh God, if you want dry crumbly eggs, how much dry crumbly eggs can you eat in five minutes? It's salty and dry. I've eaten a lot of those. There it is. Okay, so now what's happening now?

So Jason... So she's making the bat. Okay. So Jason, it's time to do the anchor. Right. And so Johnny's over there like, anchor, you look beautiful. I just need more from behind your eyes. But the anchor is kind of sticking. It's not coming up. And meanwhile, Vian is just going through pictures on, not Bree, is it Bree's phone? What's that girl's name? The Hick. I'm sorry, I'm listening today. Jason Suellentrop A dare. Pete Slauson A dare. Jason Suellentrop A dare.

Pete Slauson They're going through pictures. She's like, oh my God, look at that, and that's a turtle. And he's like, wow, I love turtles. She's like, me too. You know, turtles that drive pickup trucks, I love them. Hey, you think this turtle, do you think this tortoise dips? He's like, oh my God, I'm in love with you. I love your accent. And meanwhile, Johnny is trying to figure out the anchor. And meanwhile, meanwhile, Jason can see all this through the CCTV. So he's like, hello, are we paying attention? And Vian's like, paying attention to tortoises. Am I right? God, I've never wanted to own a family of tortoises more than with someone like you, Adair. She's like, yeah, right here.

Yes, pretty cool. And so he's like, oh, you're kidding me. I can see everything on CCTV, which as we all know is a cable channel dedicated to C.C. Peniston. They're on there, it's crazy. And there's nuisance of urgency. We're in crowded Anchorage. We've got a swell coming in.

I need all eyes on deck. It's not acceptable. So I'm gonna lay into him right now. Hold on, let me get on the radio Hey, Vion, why are you guys standing around? Wow, he really heard it from me And Another complaint with Jason this season. What the fuck Jason and then still Vion never gets in any trouble He tells him like don't do that mate, but then who has to wear the disco ball from hell? Not this guy. He gets away with that every time. Last time he almost drowned somebody

by putting a wave runner that was leaking into the ocean. You gave the disco ball from hell to somebody else. And now he does this and you still never give him the disco ball. What the fuck, bro? Yeah. Is it, are you only allowed to have it once? Cause he had it in the first after the first charter, I think. So maybe he didn't want, he doesn't want to overdo it, but yeah, this guy needs like a disco ball. He needs like a few different disco balls attached. So, um, uh, so they, they go cause the anchor stuck. So basically beyond like he just like goes and goes in that little hole and fixes it and everything. So then meanwhile, um, Zarina and Alicia are cooking and they're really happy.

And then Alicia tells Zarina that, uh, that beyond came in and said, can you make a cheese board? And Zarina is like really put off by it. And I was really hoping that that Zarina would hold him to the, hold his feet to the flames about this a little bit more. I feel like it didn't come up again. And I was like really ready for this to become like a thing. Like why are you pestering my sous chef about a cheese platter

for your date? You know, I thought this was going to be- Because part of her wants a cheese plate. You know what I mean? Part of her was like, oh, so the cheese plate was for me. Did you make it? Was it amazing? She's like, no, it was for Adair.

She's like, fuck him and his cheese plates. So she was like, I don't understand why he's asking for a date stuff while we're on charter. So then Vion is trying to make some romance happen with Adair. They're just like staring out over the water. And he's like, did you keep the letter I wrote you? She's like, yeah, I've never had a letter written in pictures and fingernails before. He's like, yeah, I like writing. I have a little book and in it, I write things, my deepest, darkest thoughts. Here's one.

I got $5 today because I slapped someone in the face with my penis. Was it worth it? It was. I bought cigarettes. She's like, oh my God, that's so romantic. Here's something else I wrote. I said, a little bit of Monica in my life,

a little bit of Erica by my side, a little bit of Rita's what I need, a little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side, a little bit of Rita is what I need, a little bit of Tina is what I see. Oh my God, what do you, do you have a land filled with gays? Cause you sound like a gay lord right now. So then there's more cleaning happening and Brie is, Brie is like, Brie and Lara are talking about like an energy drink. They're talking about like, oh yeah, we have to do our energy thing. We always have to do it before dinner service. It's kind of like, they're expressing

that they've already kind of developed a little bit of a ritual before they do dinner service. And then Marina is all sad because she witnesses it. And she's like, I am, I am alone. You know, I don't get to do fun things. She's all sad because she's in the laundry room and she feels left out. And I think this is unfair because she, what they were told, I'm not going to have a second or third.

I'm going to decide as we go and have you guys switching it up so it doesn't get too old. And then she keeps one person down with the laundry the whole time. I don't think that's nice. But that, but that being said, it's only been, yes, I agree. She said she'd switch it up, but this is Marina's only, so she's done two laundry charters in a row. She's acting like she's been down there for like seven charters. It's only been like you're on one bonus one right now.

So I think it's like when you're in solitary confinement, you know, it makes it worse. It makes it seem longer. It's torture. Yeah, I guess it is. I don't know. I kind of feel like everyone likes to deal with the guests, but I feel like I would, I think I might want to do the laundry more to be honest. No, they all say that. Don't they all say that? They don't have to deal with the people. Yeah, I guess they do all say that.

I like dealing with the people. So, um, Brie is like, Oh, you know, I know we have to do it. We, um, wait, what are they talking about? Our daily? Oh, the energy drinks. And, uh, okay. So then Jason is talking to Serena and he's asking how the picnic went. She's like, well, you know, the organization wasn't great, you know, who just told so many different things. And if I'd been told those things by a boyfriend instead of an idiot bosun, they might have landed differently. But where we're at now is, Vian kind of sucks. And he, Oh, well, let me, let me tell them off.

Let me find the best way to tell them off. Hold on. Beyond beyond Jason, beyond beyond Jason, you're doing great, mate. You're doing great. Everything's going great. All right. Bye. Love you. He should be trembling in his beats now. You'd be terrified. I just don't know how we could not follow the simple plan. Organise, lead this excursion and be there. There's no bringing it up now, but we'll go to bed and I'll bring it up after the charter. And when I bring it up at the charter, I'm going to say, now listen here,

Vian, I heard about what you did. And what I've got to say to you is, your hair looks great. All right. Better work next time. And he's like, so when the guests came together everything was there Everything was working. Oh my god The judge can't chart a guest didn't even notice they felt so young after hanging out with tortoises They were literally just taking off their tops hitting on teenagers on the bar. That's really all they cared about So now

We're approaching dinner and Laura is designing this fear factor game. And Harry comes up with this idea of like, Hey, why don't we take, like take some pills, put some garbage bags over the top, cut out a little hole that I'm going to have to reach in and feel things. It'll be fun. And it's like, great. And Laura's basically says to Vian, could you get me some pills for this? So, um, now then, uh, she toggles about talks about tonight's dinner, which is going to be jungle themed and yada yada, Fear Factor, Currys.

Finally, I'm the artist my mother never knew I could be. Putting hot dogs into jugs. They know. People will reach into you and be disgusted by. God damn it, I've made it. I know, right? So Vian comes, now we're getting even closer to dinner, and so they're up on deck and Lara's, you know, Vian's there and Lara has him blowing up some inflatable crocodiles.

And she's like, by the way, do you have any of those buckets? And he's like, sure. How many do you need? She's like, well, I need four of them. He's like, all right. And then he kind of is like, I need four of them." He's like, all right. And then he kind of was like, Pete Slauson He just sits there. Jared Slauson Oh, okay. Pete Slauson He's sitting down to blow down his alligators or whatever. And she's like, could you get me four pails? And he goes, sure. And then he blows very slowly into an alligator. And then he's like, I'm gonna go take a shower. And then he gets up and leaves. Jared Slauson

He just leaves. Just leaves. And so then he's like, oh, Harry will take over for a second. So then he just pawns it off onto Harry, you know? And Harry's like, well, what, like, I don't know. What am I supposed to be even be doing? She's like, well, I've told him a million times. And every time I tell him, he's just like, eh, I mean, he said, how many buckets? How many times do I have to tell him how many buckets?

Four buckets, four simple buckets. Yeah. And Harry's like, oh, I agree, I agree. I'll get it all under control, you can count on me. So Harry goes and is now in charge of buckets. So Marina is trying to get some goss from Brie. She's like, so how are you guys together? And Brie's like, well you know, Harry's like, you know, I think about you as I lay in bed, you know, nice stuff, but I just want to know where his head's at. I mean, I think about you as I lay in bed

could mean a lot of things, you know? I think about lots of stuff when I lie in bed. The answer is to crossword puzzles I'm never going to finish. You know, what are taxes? How do I pay those? Do horses ever talk to people? So, Harry asks Alicia to cook some spaghetti for the fear factor buckets. And she says yes.

So for everyone who's worried that there'll be no spaghetti, it's happening. And then, um, beyond is like, I lost my belt. And it is like, well, maybe it's in the laundry. I'm finding five seconds like, Oh, please do. Um, and, um, Harry is like, he's saying Harry's talking to them. And he's like, Look, I feel like I'm a one man team at the moment. We can you he's basically like, Can you help me out? I'm getting I'm getting I'm courting spaghetti. I'm finding buckets, all the really hard stuff. Can you help me?

Were you organizing? And so he tells her and Laura's like, we need to cover the payers with black bin liners with hole in the top. They put the hands through they're disgusting. It's like we should mash up some bananas. So they're getting a bunch of stuff in there. Cut to Laura in like five years just in the corner of a room on a rocking chair being like full buckets trash can over the top buckets, trash cans over the top. She's like, how many times, she has to tell people this so many times that she's just going to have, she's just going to crack.

So, um, Serena is cooking with Alisa, you know, as it goes. And then Johnny comes in and they're, you know, she's kind of flirting with him and he's like, how was your day? You seem happy. She goes, I am happy. And he's like, you're so cute. Let me kiss your hand. I'm going to take care of you one day. If there is ever a rock you lean on and you are not leaning on it, I will remind you lean on the rock.

And it would, it would be very creepy, except for the fact that she seems to enjoy it. I mean, I do find that Johnny is very attractive. This is too much. I think it's really, it's too much, especially in the galley when she's working, but you can see she's excited. She literally tells us, she goes, the energy that Johnny's giving me is intense. I mean, it just gives you funny flutters, you know, just like little pairs like, like, what, what, what, what, what.

And I just like, who was just like a sexy Greek man. I mean, I love it. Fanny flutters. It's a British thing. The fuck? Fanny flutters. Isn't it? It's in your fanny, your butt, your butt starts fluttering.

Not in Britain. Fanny has a different, it's a different location in the same area if you're a lady, but it's not your butt. And it flutters. Why would they rename a butt a vagina in America? I mean, why would they rename a vagina a butt? Is that what I said? I don't know. I'm lost today. But it's very confusing. You know what? It's just one of those weird things that happens across the pond. You know, like when you go across the Atlantic Ocean, the vagina becomes the butt, the butt becomes the vagina. It's just a weird thing. It is. Like kilometers to miles I get or centimeters to inches, whatever. You know that stuff

I kind of get. But vagina to butt? I mean, good lord. You're gonna make a lot of English people very uncomfortable when they travel here. And they're like, yeah, I do mean my fanny. They're like, oh, what the hell, bro? I don't. Yeah. I learned this because Maura, do you remember Maura from Unleveland USA? Maura would do like the after show. She's like, hi, I'm Maura. Hello, I'm working to learn. We're going to meet all the people who got kicked off." So when she was on the violin, she kept on always saying like, oh, Kyrgios gives me Fanny Flutters.

So it's kind of a thing. It's kind of a thing that I like to say because of Moira. But anyway, the point of the story- I was going to say, Fanny Flutters in America are not good. That means you probably had some bad food and you're about to go poop for a few days. I know. She's like, oh, wow. What a handsome Greek man. Gives me diarrhea.

That's really hot in Britain. God, that's a compliment. Um, so Alyssa's like, yeah, you know, Fanny flutters. And if that comes in the form of the sexy Greek man, go on then, go on. Commercials, here comes one right now. So Laura's like, my vision for this evening is to gross these guests out as much as possible. Just like Pollock did. Just like... I'm too stupid to think of other artists today, but there you get it. Lichies, blueberries, red food coloring, cockroaches. I don't know. Maybe I'll put Vion in a thong again, just for the fun of it.

You know, I just want these guests to cringe. So I'm setting up a camera and I'm going to watch them. We have them all watch Harry flirt with Brie. So then Lara radios and says everyone is seated for dinner and everything. And so there she asks a dare and Marina to go clean cabins. But because Vion wants to flirt with the dare, he goes down to the cabins and then Johnny goes down the cabins too. And they're all just like in the cabins cleaning and being silly. And Vion of course immediately starts fucking around with the dare and not really working.

So Marina's getting super pissed. Cause like hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. He's like, oh, this is called a turn down, huh? She's like, yeah, it's a turn down, tuck it right, okay? And like hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. And then so Johnny starts helping and he's like, oh my God, you guys, have we heard what sound turtle makes when it is getting flittered in its fanny?

And they're like, no. And he's like, it sounds like this. Oh, ah, ah. Let me watch. I've looked up tortoise porn on iPhone. Let us all gather round. So they start listening to the sounds that turtles make and cracking up.

Yeah, this happened to me once. I definitely once had an afternoon where I did look up a lot of like tortoises having sex. And it is actually very funny. And they play the sound over and over and over again. Like the post-production just adds in the sound like a... ... ... for the rest of the scene. They even go to commercial with that sort of thing.

So we cut back to the guests having dinner and this lady is like, so my friend's from college and someone goes to nursing school. She goes, no, no, no, college. Well, look, it took me 11 years to get my bachelor's degree. So yeah, that was still college. And she goes, okay, so you were partying in college. She goes, well, I mean, I went to four different colleges. Yeah, it took a while. But guess what? I have my doctorate now. So got it yesterday. 72. I'm proud of myself. Yeah, I'm wondering what the doctorate is in.

Doctorate's in partying, not going to lie. So everyone is downstairs and they're goofing off. They're laughing to this tortoise sounds. They're just, it's like a bunch of like teenagers, right? And they need to be doing service. And Harry, Harry is kind of a brown-noser. I mean, justifiably so. He's dealing with an inept boss and, you know, they're all just slacking off and everything's

on his shoulders and he's fed up, but he's like, every single decade is in the interior. And Laura's like, are they actually cleaning or they're just pissing around because I need help bringing these hot dogs in the shape of seven fingers up to the guests. And she's like, yeah, well, I think there's a lot of pissing around. So Marina's losing her mind because she's trying to clean, but they're all like being silly. And she's kind of like, I don't want to be, I don't want to be in housekeeping on this trip. And this is even worse. So yeah, if I hear one more turtle sex noise, I promise to God, I'll whoop your ass down to the crew mess. I mean, poor Marina. She's like, oh my God, I'm the only one on this boat

not getting laid. Even the turtles are getting laid. What the hell? So then Laura presents the main meal, which is roast chicken, garlic prawns, carrot and butternut puree, and tender stem broccoli with a Parmesan crisp. Shockingly, not a soup served with the fork. I don't get it either. Let's just roll with it. Let's roll with it. Just enjoy the proper utensils while you have them. So then Harry and Brie are flirting, and Harry's like, you look nice and pretty. She's like, thanks. I missed you. I miss you too. What does it mean? What does it mean? You know, it's a thing, you know, Bri and I have is something special and like we have chemistry

and we have sparks and I'm going to think that I'm dating a model. I mean, I almost messed it up to think that this fizzled out almost fizzled out before it even got started and not even with a regular person, but a model. Yeah. He's like, I would feel so shit if our relationship fizzled before it even started. I've got to come up with something extremely sexy to do. Extremely sexy. So let's see what he comes up with. So then a guest is asking Jason about the Bahamas and she's like, well, there've been a lot of sharks, shark attacks in the Bahamas. And he's

like, there's a chance of getting killed by a coconut about 50, 150 times more than getting killed by a shark, ladies. Turns out that around these parts, coconuts have a right to carry a concealed weapon. So it's very dangerous. Do you think it's, coconuts have a right to carry a concealed weapon. So it's very dangerous. Do you think it's because more people have a chance of standing under a coconut tree than they do of being around a shark? Probably. I don't know. Maybe that's going to be what happens on the white lotus. Violent coconuts. Well, I just wonder who comes up with these things like the white lotus, violent coconuts.

Well, I just wonder who comes up with these things like the shark commission, like there's a commission of sharks, like, Oh, really? They're saying we're dangerous. Well, it's more dangerous to get killed by a coconut. Tell them that, but tell them to put that in their private smoking with their opposable thumbs. Yeah, this is definitely a piece. This is definitely a, uh, some, a study that was put out by the shark lobby, okay? Because this is...

I'm going to say right now, I think more sharks kill. Maybe people have coconut allergies. Does that count? Oh, that's true. I don't know. But I think that's not fair. It didn't specify the coconut falls on top of your head. Yeah, because I feel like if you die from a coconut allergy, then you're like actively

doing something to the coconut as opposed to the coconut doing something to you, you know, because you're eating the coconut, it's fighting back. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I just don't know who comes up with this shit. They're like, you know what, they're calling sharks dangerous. Well, butterflies can change the future. I mean, if you step on a butterfly, that can change the outcome of everybody else's life. Go tell them that. Go tell them that if they step on one butterfly, it can change someone's entire trajectory. And then we've got all of these huge things just because sharks don't want to be called weeb.

I just want to say there is an entire Wikipedia page called Death by Coconut. It says, coconuts falling from their trees and striking individuals can cause serious injury to the back, the neck, the shoulders, the head and the crack. And it can occasionally be fatal. Following a 1984 study on injuries due to falling coconuts, exaggerated claims spread concerning the number of deaths by falling coconuts. Falling coconuts, according to urban legend, kill a few people a year. The legend gained momentum in the 2002 work of a noted expert on shark attacks was characterized as saying that falling coconuts kill 150 people each year worldwide. The statistic

has often been contrasted with the number of shark-caused deaths per year, which is around five, and concern about the risk of fatality due to falling coconuts led officials in Queensland, Australia to remove coconut trees from beaches in 2002 and one newspaper dubbed coconuts the killer fruit. Wow. Well, that's, that's, that's the news. Yeah. Well, teenagers also die from sniffing white out. Okay. I just looked that up. Because I was like, what else is really dangerous that we're not talking about? Whiteout, which we're all still using every day in this day and age. So basically Harry is like, yeah, it's been hot today. They're making small talk. He's making small talk with Serena. And he's like, you know, there are a few

things that can be improved on probably with Vion, because Harry is a tattletale, you know, there are a few things that can be approved on probably with Vion cause Harry is a tattletale, you know? And if I didn't hate Harry, I would probably, I mean, I don't hate Harry. If I didn't hate Vion, I would kind of be anti Harry because he really is a snitch. And we all know what happens. Okay. They get snitches. They get coconuts. They get snitches after sharks throw coconuts at them and they die.

Okay. Yep. That's exactly right. Cause when you tattle on a coconut to a shark, who's gonna get hurt? You. So yeah, now Harry's been a tattletale this entire season, but he's been tattling for the greater good recently. So we're gonna let it pass.

So he's saying that communication is really bad. There's no schedule and he just wants, you know, and you know, like Vion needs to be more of a boss, et cetera. And so now they've got all these plates to go up for, uh, for dessert, like a lot of plates and I've got almost every plate except they need one more person. And so Laura's like, hello, hello, a dad, a dad, a dad, I need a dad because don't forget a dare is a deck stew and she's supposed to go back and forth. But beyond keeps acting like she's like a decky primarily who he like leases to the interior for like five minutes every night. Like they get to have her, but

like they're supposed to equally have a dare, but he really takes like he sort of, he's always the one to say, Oh, you don't have to do that. Or you can just go to bed and Laura needs her. And so now she's a dare is with Vion and they're distracted and they're goofing off somewhere. And the entire, everyone else is standing up there in the galley waiting for Adair and, uh, cause they can't bring the dessert out. All right. So they keep rating them, but they're around instead of listening to the radios and it's getting very dramatic and below deck Harry's like, come on, any crew, any crew, we're dying here. We have places to carry. I have a family to raise one day with Brie. She's like, oh my God, he said he wants to raise a family

with me. What does it mean? And then, you know, Vian and Adara talking about pedicures. He's like, I think I want to get a pedicure tomorrow. And finally, like Alicia just like darts to her room and puts on her blacks. So that way she could bring it up. And then, then they finally Adair and Vian's were like, come sort of like sauntering in like, Oh, did you, did he help? They're like, well, finally you're here, but it's too late. We already got it figured out, you know, like that sneer, like, like fucking idiots, you know, like that sneer, like fucking idiots, you know. Pete He's like, we were just finishing cabins, mate. I had to dry showers and shit. You think that's easy while discussing pedicures? Come on, man. And Laura's like, oh yeah, I bet

you did a lot of work. And he's like, okay, but Adair, are you going to bed? And Laura's like, no, can Adair do her job, please? That would be great. She goes, yeah, I'll do this and then I'll go to bed. Listen, Missy. Thanks, Adair. Yeah, listen, Missy, you better get your ass to work. I know. Thanks for doing us the honor of gracing us with your presence during your job. Thank you so much. So then Vian goes to get a hug from Zarina afterwards and she's like, don't touch me, you fucked up, really fucked up Joe. And he's like, are you sassy Harry? Sassy Lara? What did I do

wrong? He's like, doesn't matter. You know, it's just like everything today, a lot of communication stuff. I feel like there's just been pressure from your side putting it on the interior and they're really stepping up both on your side and it's just getting really mixed up. And then I just feel like in the galley, I'm just left there. I don't understand why people cannot communicate because she's complaining about communication. But what she's communicating also needs work because she's like, you know, I just feel like you're kind of putting pressure on the interior and now they're slipping up. No, say you're fucking flirting on the job and you're going down there while she's supposed to be working. Nothing is getting done. You guys aren't on your radios. We needed people up here.

Sushif had to get on a different outfit to do your job because you were fucking around off your radio. Mike, why isn't it ever specific? It's just like random, you're putting pressure on interior. I don't know what that means. And he doesn't need it education needs work. Yeah. Like just stop being lazy. Yeah. They need to specify what he's doing wrong. Cause I feel like every time they tell him it's just like, well, you know, your staff is fucking up. No, you're fucking up. You're not doing anything right. You're fucking flirting instead of doing your goddamn job.

And you're making that girl flirt instead of doing her goddamn job. And you don't have your radios on, but it's not, it's always like some weird, like you're putting pressure on your staff. her goddamn job and you don't have your radios on, but it's not. It's always like some weird like, you're putting pressure on your staff. And it's also from Laura and he's like, what? What does that mean? I'm putting pressure on. And so Laura takes dessert up and they have dehydrated strawberry dust, which I have no one didn't snort that up is beyond me. I mean, yeah. Fear factor starts early. So then afterwards, after serving this dessert, the deckies are sitting in like the little booths in the crew mess. And Harry's like, did you not hear the radio calls? It was like anyone that was like

trying to get people to come. I couldn't find anyone. And he's like, why is she angry with me though? I mean, Serena, like, how am I putting pressure on the interior? And he's like, well, I'm confused at the time. Like, you know what? I don't even know what time I'm supposed to go down to not. I don't even know what Tom I'm supposed to go to sleep. You know, Brie got excited when she, when he said, what am I supposed to go down tonight? She was like, Oh, finally a sign. Oh, nevermind. You're talking about going to bed. So Vian is like, he's like, well, this is actually going to make me angry because like when he was on nights, on nights, there was like no problem. You know, when,

when Johnny was on nights, there was no problem at all with, you know, but like everyone knew what they had to do, like going to bed, nothing, nada, zero complaints. But now that you're on nights, there's like, I wake up, there's a complaint. And is it Laura that's complaining about someone not being there eight in the mornings or two comments? Is it you? He's like trying to turn it around like this is Harry's fault. Pete Slauson Yeah. He's like, yeah, when Johnny goes and works the nights, nobody complains about anything. And they're like, wait a minute, what am I doing? He goes, well, I don't know, but every now I wake up and there's a complaint. So, if it's not Laura complaining about not someone, then it's eight in the

morning, like, you can't do cabins? And he's like, what? You're not making sense. And he's like, but I just, Harry's like, just tell me what to do. Just give me like a specific list of what you want me to do. And he's like, it's not rocket science. Come on guys, you know, like, just come down at one, come back at mind. It's got nothing to do with the list. And he's like, well, I know how it works. I'm not dumb. Or I just want clear communication. I want the schedule saying, this is what the night person does. This is the hours they do. This is what the morning person does. This is that maybe you should write it down. And it there's like, I like things in writing.

So Vian's like, Oh, no, people are really just pissing me off. Okay. So then he goes and he like writes down a schedule on the whiteboard, which is what he should have done all along. And he's acting like he's definitely doing that thing where Harry's like, I just would love it if you could write down a list. He's like, No, I'm not going to do what you say. I'm the one around here. So guess what I'm going to do. I'm going to write it down in a list. It's like, yeah, that's what he was asking for. So then everyone's in a bad mood right now. So Alicia comes in and she's like, so it's a bad time to ask if anyone wants to try cream for the cheesecake. And they're like, fuck no. When is it a bad time to eat cheesecake cream? Get in here.

And then Vian is like, all right, everyone look trash, towels, drinks, sun deck, rinse over the sword when possible. It's that simple. It's like, yes. So then why have you not written this down? Because they clearly need to know what to do. And in fact, it was like two weeks ago when Laura was like, do you have a list where you write down like a checklist of doing things like cleaning, cleaning broken glass that's lying at the bottom of a table, things like that. He's like, no. And he made Harry come up with all this stuff because he didn't know how to make a list.

Remember? Yeah. So Harry's like, but don't get angry with me. And he's like, I'm not getting angry. I'm just saying. So then Serena is telling Lauren Brie that she snapped it beyond, you know, and she's like, I mean, joke around when you're done with your job. I mean, I'm a feisty bitch today. So Jason tells them, you've got some fun coming up. And Laura says, you know, there's going to be an eating challenge, a sensory challenge, it's jungle, it's wild, it's adrenaline, it's art. It's art.

So Harry's annoyed. So he's muttering to himself. He's like, for fuck's sake. And Jason hears it. He's like, Hi, normally you're all happy and you know, swinging your limbs around. What's everything all right? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good. Which is that thing you do when you want to be on the record for saying that you didn't immediately tattle, but you want to you're basically saying, I was pressured. Ask me again and I'll title. Yeah. He's like, why don't you come into my, once you come into the bridge, mate, I'll put on

a kimono. I'll put on my feeling kimono and he can express your feelings. Now when you, when you tell me your feelings, here's a little megaphone. So that way everyone in the hallway can hear you. Got it. Okay. Right. He's like, you know, it's just, you know,

you know, it's the scheduling is all over the place. Like you mean tonight, like last year we had a grid up here, break down here, things there. And I thought probably a good idea this time around. And basically, beyond is in the hallway and he overhears Harry and he's like listening in. And this is kind of sucky too, because now like Jason has pulled Harry to the side, but didn't like, I don't feel like Jason protected Harry by closing that door. And so now Harry's in getting in trouble with his boss. Jason Sweeney Yeah, so he hears that he's being tattled on and then there's like, what are you doing? Spying? Come on. He's like, no, I'm not spying. I'm just getting things for my

book. So then Harry just basically says, you know, there's a lot of negativity and it's bringing everybody down Now Jason, even though Jason's kind of making Harry tell him Jason hates this shit Like he does not want to get into interstaff stuff. He just wants to like work on kimono designs, you know Kimono is like a godding. It's like negativity from who and he's like well Vion says says something then Johnny follows it and then I follow that, you know It goes through a chain and he goes well, then what you need to do is get positive. But Harry's always positive. It's not the problem with the positive person. It's the problem with the negative person.

And the thing is this, Jason knows that Harry's always positive. Harry is always like happy go lucky and like, oh, I just put a nanka down. And the fact that like Harry is like moving around and seems like upset, Jason knows something has fucked up. Something has gone wrong in the department. Yeah, so Vian's like, oh my God, what the fuck is going on? What are you even saying? Loyalty is extremely important to me, and I don't really know if I can trust this guy anymore.

So now it's eating contest time. It's the fear factor moment Yeah, so they they try all these things like they're the eyeballs the hippo eyeballs that are just like leeches with like something in them Like blackberries or something and or blueberry and the fingers whatever they eat their bat, but V on is still moping around He's like it's actually upsetting me bro. Like that's one person on this boat That's like fucking all this like there's no communication like I don't know how many times I just sit down with this girl like now I'm putting pressure on them like what? So is he angry at Lara now or is he angry at Harry? He's angry at everybody because everybody he feels like everybody's talking about him and

he's not doing anything wrong so now it's just this big ball of mess where everybody's trying to make him look bad you know he's one of those it's like if it's everybody on the boat babe maybe it's. You know, he's one of those. It's like if it's everybody on the boat, babe, maybe it's you, you know, but he's just going to blame everybody else because that's how he rolls. So then he's like, so Adea, we can clean up all this crew mess stuff. And she's like, can I just sweep and be done? And he's like, no, she goes, yes. And he's like, oh, and she goes, okay, I'm going to bed then.

So now there's more of the miss the grabbing into the buckets, full buckets with the garbage bags, the grabbing in stuff and like, oh my God, what is it? What the fuck is it? So the drama is a dare with Marina. She goes, you know what, like you should be on service next time. Like you're never on service. She goes, oh my God, I love service so much. I just want to be on service.

And it there tells her she's being too nice about it. And she goes, well, maybe Lara has a better bond with Bree, you know? She wants to be with Bree more. Like, I don't know, I don't know. But I've been so professional, very dedicated, and extremely sexy. And this is becoming embarrassing, you know, like after a while you question yourself, what you're doing. Your story is on date night. So then Alicia is in the galley and Johnny is of course flirting with her and he's like

right up on top of her basically. And he's just like, Oh, oh, you got my Hiva. Thank you for getting the vac. He's like, I'm ready to get married, have children, tell them how to lean up against the rock, be a good husband, everything, maybe cheat on you, but who knows? We'll see. I brought Hoover just as husband would let us make baby. She's like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, well. So then Harry asked Laura if he could have a guest cabin so that he could set up a snuggle. And she's like, fuck. He's like, no, a snuggle. Are you kidding? That's like a 10 year anniversary type thing you're talking about. Come on. Oh, well, I'm so glad you guys are finally going to get a little bit more physical. Physical? No, I'm just, I want to buy,

I bought a bag of snuggles and I want to put it on there. I know that little white bear is so cute, isn't it? I think that we will really like it. I want to be able to lay on the bed with Free and then have a partition between us. So we have to judge each other based only on a certain personality trait. We're trying to make a love is blind moment. So, okay. So, um, Laura's giving some, um giving some orders to people and Laura, people go to sleep, but Laura stays up and she decorates the crew mess to say happy birthday to Marina. Her birthday is the next day, as we mentioned.

And then Harry is up late working because, you know, it's Harry and Leon of course is lazy. So it's the next morning and everyone is waking up and Marina goes in and sees everything that says happy birthday and she feels so much better. She's like, oh my God, oh, I can't believe it. I finally feel seen and loved. Oh goodness. I still want to be on service though. Don't get it twisted. Yeah, they all just start throwing dirty underwear in her head. I kept these clean. She's like, okay, that was short-lived. So Vion is like, oh my God, I'm going to have Harry doing, you know, look, I was mad at Harry yesterday, you know, for fuck's sake, bro, why are you making my job harder?

And then there's like, do you want another coffee? And he goes, yeah, of course, make me another one. So she comes down to make a coffee and Jason's down there in the crew mess and he's like, who are you making coffee for? And she's like, maybe he's like, you're on deck just because uh huh. And are you on break? And she goes, no. And he goes, okay, so how can you have coffee when you're working? It's like, because I'm going to bring down my glass. Okay, there's an empty glass. There's needless to's some coffee in it. So I'm putting coffee in it. What is confusing here?

I think you guys are missing the point. Like you're on deck, not break. Yeah. But like coffee will be on break, but we're going to go up there and be on deck, but be with have a coffee with a break. We're having coffee breaks on deck. That counts as being on deck, right? If you have a cup break up on deck, it's like, it's not what it's net. That's not what it's about. That's why it's called the real world. Okay. And Laura's just there. She's just cleaning a surface and shaking her head. She's like, it's not a retreat.

So, um, uh, yeah, so that's a dare. So dumb. And I love that beyond is talking about like, Oh, Harry's not doing his job. He's just making my life more difficult and like actively sending Adair to get coffee and not helping out on the deck at the same time. So he's complaining about Serena to Laura. He's like, I mean, Serena came to me very angry saying I'm putting a lot, she wasn't very angry, first of all, saying that I'm putting a lot of pressure on the interior. She goes, well, you know, sometimes there's not really much structure in the deck crew, you know, like they're running around doing their own thing. And Adair in the crew mess and captain sitting there while she's

making coffee. I mean, it's 20 to eight, you know, do you think someone that has been up for an hour working needs coffee? And he's like, probably not. Never mentioning that it's his coffee she was making because he's him. You know, that's right. Because, you know, he's like, well, someone needs to take control. That's your job. You're in charge of that team. They need to know Cause you know, he's like, well, someone needs to take control. She goes, that's your job. You're in charge of that team. They need to know. I mean, it's crazy that he says someone has to take control. That's the point, dude. You idiot. He's, she's like, they need to know that there's repercussions if they haven't done it. I mean, at the moment

they're just living the dream. This is super yacht. It needs to be perfect. That's not. He's like, Jesus Christ, I'm not lying. I promise you, I ran up those stairs. I'm running up these stairs. But this is going around in circles, in circles. It's like, no, it's not. She's telling you, get your shit together. You're embarrassing. Pete It's going in circles because you don't change anything. So, she's like, whatever, just take me back to my own boat. So, now he goes to complain about Laura. So, now it's everybody against Vian, you know? So, he's like, Oh my God, she says I have no structure. I mean, are we even working on the same boat? And John is like, if they want drama, let them drama. We know drama. We are DND. So people wake up and they're going to go, they have to get up there for breakfast and everything.

And then it's time for anchors because they're going to drop off everyone. And Johnny goes up to the captain and he's like, excuse me, Captain Jason, I just want to ask for permission today, after drop off, may I take Alicia to vacuum stores so I can show her all the hoovers? Yeah, sure. I don't care. I would like date night with Alicia. We are visiting wedding chapel and birthing home. It's like, all right, well, romantic. Would you like a kimono? So, Adair is like, Captain, Captain Adair, I'm off on the tinder headed to the marina. And he's like, all right, great, great to hear that. Hope that you can find some coffee out there. Marina. And he's like, all right, great. Great to hear that. Hope that you can find some coffee out there. So then Johnny comes into the guy into the galley and he was like, Oh,

you had to flirt with my sous chef again. I mean, how many vacuum cleaners can you bring in here? We've got six already getting running out of room to cook my soups for forks. You must ask about our marriage. It is hierarchy. You need to ask. And she's like, okay, hierarchy, boss lady, can I go with this semi-hot person to eat things? And she's like, oh my God, I have so much power right now, let me think about it, better you than me. Do you mind wearing goggles on your head that will camera all of this back to me

to so I can live vicariously as you're fed by a man? Johnny VR. So then now it's time to docking, docking, docking, docking, docking, docking, docking, and they dock. And then the guests, the guest lead, the lady, the primary, she has a whole speech, I have to say she really nailed her speech. She was like, I have to say this was one of the greatest days of all of all time. When we started this charter, we had three main goals. The first was to connect with old friends to connect with

new ones. Second was explore exotic lands and just goes on and on. But she does. I was like, I'm exhausted. Do you have three? She has a lot of points to make, but she, she was like, she clearly had practiced and you know what? Good for her. You're on TV. Way to, way to nail it. They leave and Jason calls beyond to the bridge. And,. And meanwhile, while he's going up there, Harry's asking Johnny how he's feeling. Johnny is just exhausted. And Harry's like, well, I don't like all the negativity on deck team is not helping me work period. If the

leaders are like that, the whole team's like that. Like, yeah, but you're being negative right now, Harry. So yeah, Harry is kind of causing a lot of a lot of the negativity because he's running around tattletaling on everybody, you know, and that's not to say Vihon doesn't suck. Obviously Vihon sucks, but Harry's not really helping the vibe, you know, so Jason sits them all down for tip meeting. And he's like, all right, shopping your team up. All right, like I caught a dare down there getting you and her coffee this morning. And that's the moment I need you to step up and say, no, we don't need coffee after 7am. All right. Do you understand?

He's like, blink, blink. Okay. So not teaching your team the right way is not a leader at the moment. I'm talking to you like a head of department. But the next step is for me talking to you like a customer for kimono, a beautiful kimono, which like to touch it. It's wonderful. And he's like, why didn't you go on the beach trip? And he goes, there were five already.

Yeah, but you were the one assigning people, babe. Why are you acting like you have nothing to do with any of this? And Jason's like, well, it would have been nice for you to pencil that in. All right. So you could see how it was done. And nobody knew how it was done. You know, and I don't want to nitpick everything, but it's also come to my attention that you wear bath robes instead of kimonos. I'm not going to stand for that. All right. And there's negativity and there's moaning and you're moaning to everybody. You've got to stop it. You know, I heard that because Harry moaned it to me. He only moaned it to me because you already started the moaning train. Okay. So if it's

not sorted out, I'll make changes and you know, you know, you're qualified to be here. So do your job, but now you've got to be a good leader and actually lead. He's like, put your arm in. Cause Vian whines so much. Like we can't emphasize how much he is whining during this episode. He's like, I'll do my best to lead the team better, to help the interior as much as I can, but it's not my fault.

He's like, thank you very much. So he never takes accountability, it's so annoying. And Jason's like, well you very much. So he never takes accountability. It's so annoying. And Jason's like, well, there's negativity. And he goes, well, I'll do my best to lead the team better and help the interior. And he's like, okay, then. So then beyond to himself is like, I don't have time for this bullshit as he walks off. So oh, that was before tip meeting. Sorry.

So now it's just like a private meeting. Yeah. So I it's just like a private meeting. Yeah. So it was a private. So then it is a, is a, is a private answers. So then Jason has a tip meeting and he, you know, he says, Oh, it's good. But you know, communication is a problem. As we all know, this vague thing is happening about communication. So improve it, even though I'm not going to give specifics about what needs to be improved. So he gives the helmet to Marina and he's like, I can't give it to her for being a bad worker because she's great at

working and it's her birthday. So let me give her the helmet. So she gets the helmet and she's not happy about it. I need a consistent helmet award where the helmet is given to the person who fucks up. That's it. You can't be like, this is the worst thing and you just have to get over it and wear it. But then be like, but also you're the best worker and it's your birthday. So you have to wear it. What the fuck? So she gets it and Jason's like, all right, now I want the heads of department to stay back. Okay. Now each of you stand there. How tall are you? I need to know what size kimono I'm going to give you all. Each of you is getting a complimentary one. I want you to wear it

on charter and really try to sell it on the gifts. Thank you so much for your participation in this. He's like, now listen, when you see Dick Hens standing around or in the crew mess getting another coffee, it's getting to me. It's getting to me. And Vian's like, yeah. And he's like, okay, so you guys have a chat. I'm not going to lead this at all. While I'm talking about leadership, you guys figure it out. Goodbye. So he leaves. And I was like, come like, yeah. And he's like, okay, so you guys have a chat. I'm not gonna lead this at all while I'm talking about leadership. You guys figure it out, goodbye. So he leaves. And I was like, come on, man.

I think that this is, I think it's a point where he should be in the meeting with the heads of department. I think so. Because obviously the problem is their communication. How do you know how bad it is if you're not sitting there in them, in there listening to their communication?

Sit in there. Exactly. So Zarina starts it off and she's like saying she needs more support. She wanted more information about the picnic. She didn't know simple things like the walk from the catamaran to the car and how the car is going to be set up. She would have packed things differently, would have made her life easier. And he's like, but I couldn't say to you, Hey, this is how it's going to go. Cause I've never been there. Like, well, why didn't you go? Why didn't you scout it out? Why didn't you do some googling?

Why don't you do some basic research? And Laura's like, he said, didn't you go? Why didn't you scout it out? Why did you do some Googling? Why did you do some basic research? And Lara's like, he said, but that's the thing with last night. That like it came to you and I said, could you please take control of the game thing? And how many times do I have to say, four buckets with garbage bags on top? It's that simple.

Yeah, and then the service, you know, like what we're doing when we're going, who's serving who. And you know, the deck team is having so much fun and I need the support from you to be like, let's do this, you know. And he's like, oh, really? Well, this is where I have confusion. Because like, how much time do I allow someone to be in the interior? I can't be everywhere. And she's like, have my back. And he goes, but I do. And she's like, no, I don't think the deck team respects you. And I don't think they do what you say.

And Serena says, you need discipline. You know, there's time for banter and fun. And he goes, no, I don't think the deck team respects you and I don't think they do what you say." And Serena says, you need discipline. You know, there's time for banter and fun. And he goes, no, this is not how I manage. I prioritize sleep, eat, and, you know, listen, we don't just make beds. Love letters. Love letters of Jews are also in there. He's like, write in book. Because, you know, we're not just making beds. I work with cranes, jet skis. Yeah, you're not even doing that right. The fucking chain was fucked up today while you were looking

at pictures and you put out a leaky thing and could have killed someone in two feet of water, sir. Pete Slauson He's like, I want you to go out there and work for an hour. So, I was like, well, if that's so hard and being in the interior is so easy, then it should be no sweat off anyone's back to go help bring a plate upstairs. So then Zarina's like, you have an explanation for everything. You've not once said, yeah, I fucked up. Not once.

And Lara goes, ugh, just madness. And yeah, that's where it ends. Another meeting where nothing gets accomplished because he's not listening to shit. Yeah, Jason needs to be there for this stuff. That's crazy. Yeah, this guy's such a piece of shit. Oh my God, I hope he gets fired.

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