Watch What Crappens - #2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap This week on Summer House, Carl faux-launches his Soft Bar concept with a Friends & Family event in NJ. Jesse, meanwhile, faces scrutiny over a sucked toe and heavy flirtations.  You can watch this recap on video, listen to our White Lotus Recaps, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  Tickets for our North American tour on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about crap on Bravo. We love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkirch and joining me today to celebrate a day of drinking soft. It's Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. How's your non-ELK day going? Wow, good. Non-ELK so far.

Whoa. We are here to talk about Summer House, which I loved last night. But before we do that, you know the drill. We've got some live shows coming up. Next week we have Boston and Detroit and Chicago. And guess what? We are here to tell you what we are going to recap. So in Boston, big day, honey pies, Boston, we're going to recap Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and very excited because we haven't been able to recap that on a live show yet. So Beverly Hills next week in Boston, Detroit, we're going to do something really fun. We're going to do a classic recap of it's not about the

pasta. It's the episode, Vanderbump rules. And it's easy to remember because the episode is called it's not about the pasta. That's from season six. And then on Saturday night in Chicago, we are going to do summer house. So that's your, that's the homework. Okay. Beverly Hills, Vanderbilt rules, Summer House next week. And then in May, we cannot wait to make our big return to Texas. We have a big Austin show coming up on May 9th. And then on May 10th, it's Dallas. We have had some of the craziest wildest times at our Texas shows, especially our Dallas shows. We have had wild times at our Dallas shows. So come join us. It'll be more fun than a night out at the roundup or the roundup. And then finally after that we have Las Vegas, which will

be fantastic. So go to watchyourcrappens.com to get your tickets, won't you? And then also be sure to join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watchyourcrappens,com to get your tickets won't you and then also be sure to join us on patreon patreon.com slash watch a crappens Where we are doing white lotus recaps. We got the big season finale this sunday So come listen to our recap next week of that And of course there's crappens on demand where you can watch us not just listen to us So that is like everything and it's like so much i'm like so cool and Um, even if you do none of it, we still love you. And we're still happy that you're here. So that's it.

Yeah, that's it. Okay, bye. It runs like, yeah, yeah. You did it. Nailed it. It's a channeling page. Yeah. Nailed it.

1000%. So I loved this episode of Summer House because this was a special episode where almost all of it took place outside the Hamptons, which I feel like it's always, I love it when that happens. I don't know why it's like going on vacation from the vacation home.

I was very delighted by it. What'd you think? Yeah, it was a good field trip episode, which I liked. I like a good field trip. And it was multiple field trips, right? Cause do we have, is this the one where we had the carl

opening it was the carl opening we had a date in the city we had kickball like this episode had everything it's like this is normally on bravo shows they have to stop everything to do a vacation somewhere so that way the the cast is forced to be together but since the cast is already on vacation they have they have to invert it and have an episode once per season where they're all like in real life. Yeah, I liked it too. As much as this is real life. They even got little Bailey in there, you know? I know Bailey had a big comeback. I was so proud of her. I was afraid they wouldn't even

give her a title, but they gave her a title. We had guest stars. I mean, this episode had it all. We had Jasmine and Silas from Summer House, Martha's, Martha Stewart, Martha's Vineyard. We had Jason from Winter House. It was really like, it was a special episode. And they all went to Jersey. So that's friendship right there. They went to New Jersey to a house that looked like it would be in the Hamptons, like Summer House. That was the funny part. That was the most meta part of it, that they left their Summer House to go to a fake summer house

so that Carl could promote his fake alcohol as opposed to where Kyle promotes his real alcohol in the real Hamptons. So it was great. I loved everything about this. Yeah, it was a good one. Okay, so we pick up where we left off, which is Emeril, Jesse and Amanda and Gabby by the pool

the day after the foursomesome the toe sucking foursome. So Jesse's like, guy, you know, I went to there. I went into his room. He was having a threesome. You know, I could have had a foursome, but you know, Jesse is better. What's her face? Lexi is better than foursomes. Wow. You should write fucking cards for Valentine's Day. That is so than four sums. Wow. You should write fucking cards for Valentine's day. That is so flattering. Could have had a four sum, but I didn't. You're better than a four sum. Yeah. Little does he realize that that family is so incestuous that he's basically

having a four sum every time he's with me. He's already dating a four sum already. And then that one is a mom and a sister and a dad. dating a foursome already. Yeah. And then that one is a mom and a sister and a dad. So Emeril comes outside and just like, Hey, Hey, how's your Johnson? He's like, never been better, which is, I think this is one of the few questions that Emeril gets asked as usual. Again, Emeril just seems to like live in a weird alternate reality where he like shares the same space as everyone else. But I don't think anyone ever seems to realize he's there. This is like, except for this little storyline with the toe sucking.

But other than that, he just is occupying space on a show without ever being referenced. Well, for Emeril, it's just like a cheap room to fuck. You know? It's like, I'll share this house because it's cheaper than getting a hotel room every night in the Hamptons, you know? So that's kind of his only thing. And he's, he's made his entire personality about fucking randos. So that's it, you know? But it's also weird because that's his entire personality,

but then he like gets really tight-lipped about it now. And I know that it's because Jesse's involved and he's not outing Jesse, but he also seems kind of annoyed because they're like, so, hey, you want to have a conversation in a role? Like we're going to, so, hey, you want to have a conversation, Emerl? Like, we're going to have a conversation. Do you want to have a conversation first? Or should we just start asking you about your dick?

Like, what do you want? And he's like, okay, I mean, I guess we could just wait for that a second. He's kind of annoyed, like, oh, God, all these people do is ask me about fucking. Because that's all you've got. Yeah. I mean, we don't really see Emerl having any meaningful interactions with anyone in the house. And I don't know how much that's on the house. I don't know how much that's on him.

I also don't know how much of that is on production because I actually feel like if production, I feel like he's not having meaningful interactions. I think that if he were, production would have really amped up the fact that he had bonded with these guys, they become friends. And now here is a moment where Emeril kind of later on sort of like,

you know, says talks about the toast sucking thing as kind of like a betrayal of friendship, but because there is no, but there is no friendship and there are no stakes to this relationship. It just sort of like lands like, Oh, okay. You're most set it.

So I think that's just my theory of saying that I don't think there are any meaningful interactions between Emeril and the house. And it's reflected in the fact that they can't even drum up any sort of interpersonal drama over the fact that he said, he talked about this behind Jesse's back. Yeah, because someone else gets the credit anyway for leaking it, which I think is like Bailey, right? Or at least in the audience.

Bailey did great work. Yeah, Bailey did a good job. I like Bailey. Bailey dissed everybody, called them old, left, and now still gets good drama scenes. I know. Like when Bailey came back, I was like, oh my God, it's Bailey.

And I was like, I don't know why I'm having this reaction. She did nothing in her one episode, but I was sincerely happy to see her. I know, it's a reaction Danielle has never gotten. And how long has she done this show? But Danielle comes back for a cameo and we're like, oh, Jesus Christ. And Bailey, who's been there for five minutes, like, oh my God, look, it's Bailey. She's so pretty. How cold was it that Danielle was not invited to? Well, maybe she was invited, but she wasn't there. And we all know she would show up to the non-alchopardi, right?

Like she'll show up to anything. Yeah. Yeah, she would have shown up. Wait, you're going to have balloons there? I'm in. So West is like, so what's your favorite food, emerald? And he's like, smash burgers. Get in.

Hey, nice. Hey, did you smash last night? How many people did you have sex with again? You know what, I'm into f Fancy Burgers. Get in. Hey, nice. Hey, did you smash last night? How many people did you have sex with again? I'm in two Fancy Burgers. Yeah, we'll just have to take Emeril's word for it because anytime we see Emeril's favorite food, it's just an arrow pointing to something off screen. I don't actually get to see it.

So Jesse's like, nice, did you smash last night? Come on, tell us how that went, tell us how that went. And so he's quiet. He's like, I just had sex with the two guys, okay. And Emeril's like, dude, this guy was in the room. Like, why is he acting like he was not in the room? I mean, it seems like to him, like, nothing happened. So were we supposed to all pretend nothing happened?

Because he was in the room. I mean, it seems like to him, like nothing happened. So were we supposed to all pretend nothing happened? Cause he was in the room, right? Where it happened? Someone's toe went in someone's mouth. I still believe there was more than a toe suck for 37 minutes. All 37 minutes, yeah. And I also think to be fair, like even if there wasn't, if you're like fresh in a new relationship

and then you find that like this guy who's claiming to be nothing, he just only wants to be into you. Then it turns out he went to like perv out to like just sit and watch a threesome happening. I don't know. I don't want, I don't, I just feel like that's just a, it's a red flag, obviously. So, um, not that it's bad, but like everyone has their kinks. It's fine. But I just feel like if he's saying one thing, if he's selling one kind of version of Jesse Solomon to Lexi, but then the truth is that he wants to hang out and get us to be like,

have light interaction with a threesome. I don't know. I just think that he's selling a bill of goods to Lexi. So Carl walks out. He's like, oh, hey, good morning guys. This is the latest I've ever slept in the house. Yeah, cause like I wake up at 7 a.m is the latest I've ever slept in the house. Yeah, because I wake up at 7 AM and I jog in the Bears boot camp. So the fact that it's 8 o' 5 in the morning, whoa.

I'm just like, party Carl's back. Am I right? Yeah, this morning instead of boot camp, I chose boot camp, which is a reference to the pirate party. Anybody? Anybody? Carl's back. It's a great party? Carl's back. Carl's back.

Carl's back. Carl's back. Carl's going running with a guy liner, which I like. They're talking about running and all that stuff and how Carl had a girl there last night, lived the lemur, the lemur obsessed magician. Magicians are dope. Yeah. From yesterday. Yeah. Future magician. Yeah. Magician enthusiast. Yes. They're talking about Lil and everything. And was like, Yeah, so did that

chick, you know, did she, she go home that go well? Yeah, one great love. Yeah. And Gabby's like, Yeah, I mean, you guys were taking couples photos. He's like, yeah, I mean, you guys were taking couples photos. He's like, yeah, yeah. We took some pics and I was like, please, is there a filter on this camera? Can we get a soft focus, please? Really aced that one. Anybody?

I don't want to. She carries cards. She doesn't know magic, but she'll know it someday. Someday magic. Now Craig and Paige are in their room and Craig's like, hey, hey chicken, are you ready to go home and see our daughter, the cat? That's going to be so fun. I'm sorry, but none of this was from your popsicle sperm, so please stop taking credit

from my child. Yeah. I always see a picture of Daphne, Paige's cat, and the cat's like looking at the camera like, ew, gross, Craig. So then, and also meow. So then Paige is like, well, I gotta do my podcast at seven. He's like, okay, well, yeah, that's cool. And she's like, recently, it's just been like,

I feel like Craig is attacking me, but like in like a really southern way, like he says really nice words, but I feel like he about myself inside and I don't know why. And then we see a flashback of him being like, well, I hope that, um, you know, as your tour goes, it goes on that like our, that we make our relationship a priority when we are on tour, which is his way of saying like he's using like we and our like we're both in it together, but he's basically being like, don't forget about me. I'm a priority. Yeah, they kind of did her dirty with this edit

because it makes it look like she's complaining when he's just saying I want to be a priority. But he also said like, I mean, come on, like, you know, it's just not realistic to think that you could keep up this work schedule when we're, like, committed, or whatever he said. Or like, well, if we stay together, whatever, which is why she's feeling a talk. So he's like, hey, should we, like, stop and eat on the way home?

And it's like, let's just try to get home, OK? It's hard enough to be in a car with you without watching you eat like a Charleston man. Yeah. No, I'm not saying we sit down. I just, I wanna stop and get food somewhere. How about this? Why don't we go to a restaurant, you can sit down,

and then I'll get in the car and I'll just go home. And then I'll see you someday if anyone ever finds you. No, but like I can eat in the car. Craig, I don't have windshield wipers on the inside of a car. Okay, haven't invented that yet. We just cleaned the car. And so she says that like Giggly Squad is going on a 60 city tour,

which again, I don't understand how they were able to do that. And she's like, I'm just like nervous to do the actual job. And I feel like I can't even talk about it with Craig because he has no interest in like, you know, talking about things in my career unless it pertains to him and our relationship. Which is funny because Craig really prides himself on being a career person, career oriented and he gets very upset when Austin does not support his career and it's funny that he then in turn has is so completely unsupportive and is so needy about Paige and her time and her career.

This isn't fair. Look, I have always supported your career. Ending. So it's like, um, I can go make eggs. Do you want eggs? Do you have eggs? How many eggs do you have? Do they have follicles? No. Should I, can we, can we post some popsicles in your ex? No. No. No. It's like die, die, die, die, die, die, die. So now we go to the group. They're back to the group at the pool. And Carl's like, oh, hey, so I know, Carl and Maddell, you're going to be in Italy for a wedding.

But I'll have a friends and family event for the soft bar. So we're trying to get a final head count. you know, and if you guys can join, like, let me know. Like, maybe if your plans to Italy are just like soft plants and hard plants, maybe you could come. Maybe, maybe you want to like ask if Andreas wants to fly back before his wedding to the soft lunch. Cause that's, I think where they were, I think they went to Andre and Lexi. Andre and Lexi's wedding, right? Which I think I thought like more than this. Why wouldn't they say that on the show?

He was a cast member on the show. Why wouldn't they be like, oh, I went to Italy for this fabulous, gorgeous man's wedding? Yeah, we all watched it on social media. So Amanda asked if he invited Lindsay. He's like, yeah, I did. Because like, you know, I want to invite everybody. And like, I mean, that's what I'm like, oh, you know, that's what I'm doing. I'm opening something that's like really inclusive to everyone. And Lil gave me this great idea, which is to make it

especially inclusive to magicians. So, free Top Hat when you come to the Soft Launch Hall. Yeah, like of course Lindsay's invited. I totally want her to eat shit when she sees me serving non-alcoholic out of a van trunk. Yeah, she can see how difficult it is to pour a few different cheap non-alcoholic almonds together and make a very nice, a simple cocktail. So he tells us soft bar is a mindful consumption bar, which I'm sorry. I'm never going to be okay with that.

Fucking with your mindful consumption. All the drinks are going to be served out of reusable bags from whole foods. So it's pretty mindful. Yeah. So we're being very mindful. Like we are thinking about high concept things like taking, you know, lemons and ice water and sugar and mixing together. And we're calling it a mindful. It's a mindful margarita non-alcoholic version. It's like, Carl, that's lemonade. So all of our mixologists are going to be doing Sudoku as they shake the drinks. So it's

pretty good. It won't bore until they complete a Sudoku cover. A Sudoku problem. So it's mindful. It's mindful. Pete We've just brought in Lil as one of our, we call them mindfulness ambassadors. She is literally a sorcerer's apprentice. She is learning magic as we speak and she is going to actually introduce some mind reading consumption and so really excited about that. Yeah. Think of a cool cafe and a bar but no alcohol. Okay. I'm really excited. I'm nervous. I put a lot of work into this. I put over $100,000 of my own money into this. Okay. I just read this in Reddit, which was funny. For everyone asking, oh no, this was from our Facebook

page from Kelly. For everyone asking if Soft Bar is open, no, it is not. However, you can invest in it if you want, laughy face. And it's a picture of Soft Bar, a new kind of space offering superior, non-alch, functional coffee and cocktails, or coffee does pushups. So plus experiences. Like you can come here and you can have experiences. It's crazy. It's like a park, but where alcohol should be served, but it's not being served, if that makes any sense.

Functional coffee. What is, you know what? I'm so glad he pioneered this because I've been realizing all this time I've been drinking dysfunctional coffee and every time I drink it, it's like winds up all over my cheeks and I'm like, why is, why can't I drink this? Oh, it's dysfunctional. I just look at my own coffee and I'm like, you lazy son of a bitch. Can you do anything right?

Look, you're just laying there. Do you even know what your job is? You're supposed to hydrate me instead're making me caffeinate and pee all the time. You are dysfunctional. Yeah. So Softbar has a video of Carl getting out of a van, as you can see in the screenshot right here.

He's getting out of the front seat of the van and it says, welcome to Softbar Soft. $136,600. That's $136,600 of $1.24 million of our Mexico has been raised. And he put a hundred of that in himself. So you know, come on guys, donate to Soft Bar. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. Have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the

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Look, I mean, I'm not opposed to a non-alc, you know, mocktail situation. There are like some amazing, amazing non-alc mocktail situation, there are some amazing, amazing non-alc and cocktails out there. I just feel like, I don't know if I love all this branding. I just feel like you'd go to a coffee shop. I feel like investors don't group invest on Facebook. $1.24 million, no, I'm not giving that to you, sir.

Move it on, move on soft. Listen, I've been soft for years and I haven't gotten any money. I just feel like, you know, the thing, like, okay, so he's creating a space for people who are- How about I'll give you $100,000 to get me hard? Sound fair? Here's my concern for Carl.

Okay. I think, despite all our mockery, I do think it's nice that he's creating a space for people who are sober or pregnant or whatever, who are not drinking, that they can come and still socialize and have, there's no alcohol, but they can still have cocktails or whatever, mocktails, non-alcohol, et cetera. But the problem is this. It's like, you're now, you're catering to like a reduced, like you're catering to like a more of a niche market. And on top of that, like I feel like at the end of the day, the bars that I'm going to

go to are the ones that are close to me. So like, yes, you're already taking a smaller segment of the population and then you have to imagine they are geographically dispersed all throughout Manhattan and the city. So like if I were sober, but I didn't live near this bar, I'd be like, oh, that's a cool idea, but I'm not gonna schlep over to soft bar every single time I wanna have like a night out. So that's why I feel like there's something really kind of missing in this.

I think it's like the gravitational pull, I just question it and I just... Look, there's a market for this. Like the gravitational pull, I just question it and I just... Look, there's a market for this. A lot of people are clean and sober and would like a place like this. I think there are places like this. This is not the first one of this kind. There are.

You know, there are a lot of places that do well, so I don't think the idea is necessarily terrible. It's just Carl. So I don't really trust much coming out of Carl because we've seen Carl's track record for 10 years. So, or eight years, whatever it's been. So, I mean, we know Carl's track record. So it's just easy to make fun of because it's like,

oh, it's about to open when I raise $1.4 million off Facebook. Okay. Yeah. And I just also feel like, you know what? I think the entire couching of this of this, like sort of new age, um, therapy language in it, like it's mindful. It's a mindful like consumption, but like, I hate that so much. I almost feel like if like the whole idea, the germ of the idea was that, um, if you're sober, you can finally go to a place, like go to a sports bar and, uh, there's not like the pressure or the temptation or everything that comes the baggage of alcohol there, but you get to still have the experience for the non sober people, you get to have your own safe space for it.

But like, but now you're catching all this like mindfulness and it's like, well, I feel like I have to imagine that if I weren't drinking, I'd be like, can I just have a bar? Can I just have like my non-alcoholic bar? Do I have to have all this like stuff in here about mindful consumption? Does everything have to feel like cafe gratitude, you know? But I don't know. I'm not in those shoes, so I really can only speak to a limited degree about it. I'm not in those Jesus sandals, so I'll hold my toes back. I'm not in those gladiator sandals. I just, I don't know. He's like, guys, the theme for my soft launch is gonna be soft garden party, so. Look, I'm no Barbara Corcoran, but if I were, I'm not sure I'd be asking for equity in this one. Yeah, so Sierra's like, oh, so we have a theme of this.

He's like, yeah, I have a Hampton Chitney from Seaport to the event in New Jersey, so there's the Chitney, get your diapers. Everyone's like, wait, so we have a theme of this. He's like, yeah, I have a Hampton Chitney from Seaport to the event in New Jersey. So there's the Chitney, get your diapers. Everyone's like, wait, so we have to go to the South Street Seaport and then go to New Jersey? Great. Those are two places a New Yorker does not wanna go. I'm telling you that right now.

Both of those places. South Street Seaport and New Jersey. That's like in LA being like, okay, so we're going to meet at the Santa Monica pier. Meet by the Ferris wheel. Bus to the end of the empire. We're going to Riverside. Look, there's no guarantees with this, but I'd rather fall flat on my face going forward in something I truly believe in and passionate about than selling dental equipment. So that's where I'm at.

You know, I just, part of me too, and we've kind of hounded on this soft idea a lot too. I think part of what bugs me is the capitalizing on sobriety so soon. I just feel like it's hard enough to be sober without making your whole persona that. You know what I mean? I think you kind of need to give yourself a break. I think if in sobriety, there are certain rules that you learn in AA. There's a certain amount of time where you have to just be alone.

Then there's a certain amount of time when you can get a plant listen I watch a Sandra Bullock movie So I know and then after that you can get like a pet maybe and then after you keep that alive for a while Then you can date you know So I think that there should be like some some kind of rules with just for yourself and your own sanity before you're Investing one one and a half million dollars into a business. Here's actually another one of my concerns. And you know, I actually believe it or not, I do have a conscience and I do kind of feel shitty about like just bashing this over and

over again, because I do see that this is something that's like a carrot on a stick for him. And it does seem really good that Carl finally has something that he's really like excited and working towards. And like, there's part of me that like as a human, I do like I do want to cheer her mom on and have have success, but I just feel like I know his track record. But I feel like there's certain things there's certain things in people's lives that happen that are very momentous and very important. It's like getting sober, having a child, getting into shape, things like that, where then it becomes, it's so exciting for them, as it should be, that it kind of becomes like their whole identity as for what you were saying. And so what happens is you see things like Shark Tank where someone's like, or just

not even Shark Tank, you just see people who are like, I'm a new mother. And I just realized I'm going to come up with a new, here's a new thing that I'm going to sell. And like people are always coming up with these new ideas, these entrepreneurial new ideas based off of their very new, fresh habit, not always realizing that that like it's that the excitement is going to wane a little bit and then sort of normal life is going to come in. And then that thing that you were so excited about that you wanted to make into a business no longer has the same gravitational pull for you.

And also that you're not the first one. You're not the first one to do that. Like you're not the first one to get into shape and realize I want to start, you know, hawking this kind of thing for fitness or like I'm sober now. I want to open up a sober bar. Like I guarantee, I know this sounds so obnoxious and cynical. I guaranteed Carl's not the first one. I mean, you talk about that. We, this is a concept that has happened before, but I also feel like he's probably not the first one who has thought of this. And there's probably a reason why this has not become like a big deal thing in America, you know, and and if he's the one to prove it wrong

and to break the mold and to break through, then all the power to him. But I just think that like sometimes people get really excited about profound changes in their lives. And then they think like, I'm going to like innovate in this space. And the truth is, I think a lot of people have that feeling and they don't realize that you're like, Listen, the best idea is already out there. It's on a show called secret lives of Mormon wives. They're called soda shops. And that's what you should be doing. You should be having a party place. It's like a crazy soda shop that you get together,

all your friends get together, you have fun, and that's it. So he announces the garden party thing and he's like, okay guys, small talk was great, but it's time to go. So Kyle's in the kitchen now and he's alone. He's on the important storyline of the day. He's like, whoa, whoa, day. He's like, Whoa, who? Hey, whoa, whoa. Is that banana bread? What's the deal?

Leo. That's why he went jogging with full on guy liner on because he's like, I think I'm using banana bread and I don't want to wait. I am not. He's like, I am not going to waste any time wiping this mascara off because that's banana bread. He's like, I can't eat the banana bread till I have my morning run and I am not gonna waste any time wiping this mascara off because that's... For banana bread to eat all the... He's like, I can't eat the banana bread till I have my morning run and I'm not delaying this run. I need to get into that banana bread. Yeah.

So everybody packs up to go and Paige is excited that they just get to leave their suitcases at the top of the stairs because men will take them down for them. And then Craig is like, hey, you wanna switch hats? Okay, you want to switch hats? Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna switch hats with you, Jesse. Okay. And then I'll have Paige bring you this one next weekend. And Jesse's like, Yeah, Craig's the kind of guy who's gonna

give you the hat off his goddamn head. Yeah, that's why he's my number one priority. He's like, Wait, are you guys beefing? He's like, No, anytime Craig tries to beef, I just like make it a joke. Like, and he's my number one priority." He's like, wait, are you guys beefing? He's like, no, anytime Craig tries to beef, I just like make it a joke. Like, and then he's like, oh, is everything a joke to you, Paige? And I say, yes, that's why I have a career out of it. He's like, I never said that.

I even made a joke, it's crazy. So she like tries to make light of it, but she goes, by the way, Jesse, is Craig your number one priority? Just want to make sure before we get on the road there. He's like, oh, could be, could be. So then in the kitchen, Craig is saying bye to Kimanta. And Kyle's like, dude, I'm just eating your banana bread.

Fucking mind blowing. It's fucking mind blowing. Have you considered that maybe we could put this out with Loverboy and you could be a sports person for it? He's like, sorry, I'm already talking to a banana bread company. So dude, give me a chance. Give me a fucking chance, bro. Where has all the banana bread gone?

Whoa. Just wanted to close that Paula Cole loop that you opened up before. I'm listening to a lot of Cole trying to support Amanda. She only has two songs, but they lot of coal trying to support Amanda. I can only see songs, but they both apply very well to banana bread. And Craig's like, why don't you take the banana bread home? It's a nice loaf. And then he's going to get in the car and be like, I'm hungry.

Why'd you give away your banana bread, Craig? Yeah. Moron. Yeah. Craig is the one who wants lunch. Take your banana bread. Where did the banana bread even come from? Did he buy it?

Did he make it? I want to know the backstory. Just around the middle. It was just a southern thing to bring. Like, hey guys, I just came from the south. Brought some banana bread. So kind of like- You know, I'm the big banana bread maker over here, so.

I respect anybody bringing in a loaf of banana bread. That's one thing I can do, okay. Yeah, I went on a big banana brof. Brof. It's banana brof. I'm a banana brof. I went on a big banana loaf journey, I think it was last year, and I made several of them. And I now believe I have found the recipe that everyone should use. And if you're interested, then go check out my website. Do you have any of mine at Christmas?

No. that everyone should use and if you're interested, then go check out my website. Do you have any of mine at Christmas? No. God damn it. I didn't know there was banana bread. I cooked like 20 things, okay? I had banana bread, fresh banana bread, straight from the oven, god damn it. So I'll have to make you some for when you come to Texas to visit.

Please do. Welcome to the South, here's some banana breads, okay to Texas to visit. Please do. Welcome to the South. Here's some banana breads. Okay. I know. We'll hand it out to the audience. Banana bread for everyone. Okay.

So then Sierra and Jesse are hugging by the car and Jesse's like, I could really get used to hugging you. God, fucking 10. You're a fucking 10. It's just, yeah, don't get used to it. He goes, yeah, it was great hugging on you this weekend. God, still loved it. Lo hanging with you, Ciara. So fun.

So Paige hugs Amanda and tells her to have so much fun. And then, and then kind of go- Have fun at the wedding of the train I missed. Yeah, have fun with the male model that does nothing but actually like love on and adore the women that are in his life. Yeah, enjoy my version of Gwyneth Paltrow's Sliding Doors, where you get the good part of the movie, okay?

I'll be driving home with a loaferless Craig. Yeah, I'm so excited. And what's the name of the guy that she was rumored to be dating? Is he like part of basketball sports or something like that? Joe Bonino. Whoa. Joe Bonino. No. Joe Bonino? Well, don't tell Margaret Josephs.

You know what? I don't care. He can show. I can share Joe. She'll spiff him up. Okay. Because, you know, he loves that seafoam polo shit. I'm like, Joe, put on a better shirt. You know, I need Pedro's help around here with him. I forget the guy's name already. Um, No, his name is so what? Who cares? Um, So now we're in New York City and my favorite thing was he flashes of people doing work. And so we see West at work over a complex and he's like, um, okay everyone. I'm downloading you guys on this thing on Tuesday. It's called bucket list challenge.

And it's basically like asking people questions about the United States and geography. I'm downloading you guys on this thing on Tuesday. It's called Bucket List Challenge. And it's basically like asking people questions about the United States and geography. I'm like, what does that have to do with a bucket list? Yeah, it's not what a bucket list is. The bucket list is like what you do before you die, you know? Right? Isn't that like, oh, I'm about to die. It's like that Danny Glover movie where he's like,

I'm about to die, so I'm gonna do the things on my bucket list. I'm gonna jump out of a plane. Yeah. So then this girl goes, not Mary. Oh, my God. West. Hey, how do you get into my movie? Sorry. Oh, is this things that will make you puke in a bucket? OK, Craig. I'm sorry. I had to break up with you, Craig.

It was on my bucket list. Blame Danny Glover. So this girl goes, oh my God, West, you've been to like all the states, so this is perfect for you. Oh. So apparently you can't ask geographical questions about the states unless you've been to all of them. Yeah.

I mean, it's like, yeah, that's why it's a good fit. It's a good fit. Really good pitch. Good fit. Good fit for me, because I know what it's like to drive, that's why it's a good fit. It's a good pit, really good pitch. Good fit, good fit for me. Cause I know what it's like to drive on a highway through Iowa. So then we have Carl working on the soft bar. He's on, he's doing a meeting and he's like, so business, business, business, just want to talk to through our friends and family that, um, so you guys, uh,

need some questions or answers on ice, right? And the guy's like, yeah, before I call the ice guy, just need some measurements, because he has a custom ice, so it would fit perfectly into our glass. Who knew ice was so complex? That's why your business is costing $1.4 million. Girl, measure a solo cup.

You know what I mean? It's an outdoor party in Jersey. What the fuck kind of glass do you need? I know. Measurements for your eyes. Get the fuck out of here. Hexagonal eyes only. So now we have Lexi sitting at a table

on a skyscraper somewhere. And she's like, no, nobody in the house. Actually, okay, this is a serious thing that she says, but she introduces it as if she is like about to announce that she got like a movie role. She goes, nobody in the house actually knows this, but my grandma's not doing well right now. I was like, oh, okay.

So I went to Canada. I wanted to rally. Huge secret, huge. I'm trusting it with you, America. So Jesse comes up and he's like, hey, Lexi Wood? Is that you? Wow, Lexi. Lexi Wood. He's like, oh my God. Hi, you got me flowers? Wow. Well, I got them for your mom's. I had to get them for you too. Got your dad a cock ring he's been asking for and your sister for your mom's side to get him for you to got your dad a cock ring has been asking for and your sister. Nice, nice boob. So far, the least I can do Lexi is like, okay, and then

like her sister and her mom show up and like receive the flowers. Thank you so much. These are wonderful. Her sister smells them. Her sister smells them like he's like, they smell so good. Don't they? Just getting reports, getting notes from her sister on how they smell. My sister got lipstick all over the flowers. Sorry.

I really only told Jesse because I trust him and because he's become my person. Nobody else can know that my grandma's sick. Nobody. I'm not like little red riding hood. Okay. I'm not just like skipping through the forest telling everybody I'm going that my grandma's sick. Nobody. I'm not like little red riding hood, okay? I'm not just like skipping through the forest telling everybody I'm going to my grandma's house. Nobody can know. I'm excited and scared.

So then there's thunder and Lexi's like, um, I think it's gonna rain, but that's okay. He's like, yeah, well, if we get struck by lightning. Oh my God, you might hear something so funny. My great-grandfather was struck by lightning, I think like twice. I've literally never told anybody that before. This is like crazy, but you're like my person,

and I just like have to tell you this. So, Chester's like, I'll protect you from the lightning. Gosh, down in my dick. So, he puts's like, I'll protect you from the lightning. I'll stand on my dick. So, he puts his arm up, like that's gonna do anything. And she's like, okay, wait, like, so Carl's saying I had to text him and be like, I couldn't go. And he said he was gonna like save me a gift bag.

So that's like really sweet. And he's like, oh, I think you're gonna want a hoodie for that, cause like it's about to rain. Oh. He, 100 percent. So now it's time to sprinkle. And she's like, so tell me about last weekend. Like you had the party and he's like, yeah, we had Craig E. Beast in town.

And I'm just like trying to remember what else happened. Hold on. Let me just flag down. Oh, waitress beast. Hey, waitress beast. Can I get another cocktail? Thanks so much. Oh man. Why are you tapping your toe? Yeah, just got the telltale toe going on right now. So then they decide to move inside and he tells us,

I mean, listen, given what she just told me about how jealous she can be and whatever, like I just don't wanna make a big deal out of nothing. Like the toe tuck thing was like not sexual and it's like a complete joke. And like if I was like trying to have a foursome, like first of all, I wouldn't have been, wouldn't have been like with Emeril. Okay. Like I think it's safe to say it's just like not something I want to be a thing. I mean, I'll do it. I just don't want to be a thing. You know, beggars can't be choosers. You know what? You may not have wanted your foursome to be with Emerald, but that's what you got. So you take it. And that's, you know, so your logic does not work. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, you can take it. And your whole like, oh, no gay. Hey, no gay here. Okay, bro. No gay here. Yeah, no homo. Thank you. Honey, that didn't sound right. No homo. No homo, bro. No homo. Thank you. I mean, that didn't sound right. No homo. No homo, bro. No homo. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So Lexi asked how the rest of the week is, sensing something's wrong. And he's like, um, well, you know, I can tell you this, like every night we're not together is like a super shitty night. I can fraud you that right now, you know? So, you know, like you just like, you make me feel so great. You know, you make my toes curl and in a good way.

And I just wanted to tell you, you know, I think I'm ready to be your boyfriend. You want to be Lexi Wood? You want to go steady? You want to go steady with Jessie? Want to go steady with Jessie Solomon? Oh my god, you're so sad. So you're basically going to come do this

so she can't be mad at you for getting your toe sucked. And then you can say, but we weren't together. We weren't going steady until I asked you when it was raining and I'd already had my toe sucked. So I technically did do anything wrong. Oh, it's so clear. It's so transparent. So of course she says yes.

And she's like, I definitely knew it was coming, but I loved it. Cause I'm like romantic. I'm like super open with him. I'm like super vulnerable with him. And yes, I have like emotions for Jesse. And like, obviously I'm like a little bit scared, but like when you're putting your trust into someone,

I just think like if we're meant to be, we'll figure it out and we'll be. Oh, I'm Lexi Wood, you can do it. As Sabrina Carpenter would say, don't make me look stupid. So now we go to New Jersey Hall and it's gonna be Carl's big soft bar event. And so we meet some of the people on his team and everything. And this one guy, Richie is like, Hey, you want to drink? He's like, yeah.

What's like the calming one? He's like, Oh, the high road. Yeah, let's do the high road. Which by the way, you know, which one's the calming one because it's your, it's your cocktail. So he doesn't, that by the way, you know which one's the calming one because it's your, it's your cocktail. So he doesn't. That's the thing about Carl. But then he doesn't fucking know what's even going on in his own business.

That's so him. I can't tell. He's either doing like a really cheesy commercial or he's again expressing his ineptitude at being someone who sells cocktails. Yeah, I don't think he knows. I think he's like, yeah, also calming one. Totally into this. Totally into this stuff that I have nothing to do with. Yeah, but.

It's great. But also, by the way, it's so past aggressive. The calming one is called the high road. That's gotta be a barb towards Lindsay, right? Like, I'm just gonna take the high road. I'm just gonna say calm and take the high road. So, yeah, the goal today is South Bar, friends and family event is to announce the brand official.

If I hear Carl say friends and family one more time, I swear to God, I'm going to send someone over there to knock over all the tables. He's specifying so he can have multiple opening events to get people into going, right? Like now it's like business associates day. So all my friends need to come support me. And now it's like soft, soft opening day. Now it's like the van my friends need to come support me and now it's like soft soft opening day now it's like the van just got new wheels day so it's that opening so so this guy's like yeah try this it's passion fruit chamomile wine white peppercorns oh god delicious fucking gross passion fruit

chamomile and peppercorn i'll take the low Okay. Is that where the diet coke is? You take the high road and I'll take the low road. So is Sabrina Carpenter would say I'll have espresso and I should also say please. So Carl's like, sorry, you have to complete it. Please, please, please, please, please, please. I love that song actually. That's why I know when I'm in a carpenter jam that song.

I love that song. Please, please, please, please, please. I'll always think of Taylor crying on Love Island USA when they played that song. And I'll always think of someone on Twitter when Taylor was crying over that song and they played that song and the next day she think of someone on Twitter when Kayla was crying over that song and they played that song and the next day she got back with Aaron and someone on Twitter said,

NBCU is so mad that they paid all those thousands of royalties for that song only for them to get back together the next day. I always, that's just one of the smartest tweets I've ever read. Please, please, please don't do me wrong. You know. Do do do do. Give me a drink with non-elk and some pepper comes in it.

I one thing I like Sabrina Carpenter, I still find it weird that her voice is so like wispy wispy wispy but then her talking voice is like, hi, I'm Sabrina Carpenter. I can't get over that. I was actually surprised because I listened to that podcast, Song Exploder, where they did that song, where they went over this song, Please, Please, Please, which is why I liked that song,

because I heard it on that podcast. And they play some of the just regular tracks without the whole thing being produced or whatever. And she has a beautiful voice. I was shocked. I mean, I knew she could sing, but I didn't know. So many singers, they just make that ethereal, auto-tune-y reverb sound,

and you don't know they can actually sing. They just sound kind of like everybody else. She can actually sing. I was very impressed. You go, Sabrina. You knock me over with a, as Sabrina Carpenter I was very impressed. She goes Sabrina. You know, you go over with a Sabrina carpenter would say feather. Well, you know, she's a crappens listener, right? Right, right.

No, I'm just making that up. I just I'm like, I'm gonna start I'm just putting it into the universe. Okay, so Carl is like, polychols like, wait, I thought I was gonna be the one that we're gonna talk about all episode. Please, please, please drag Dory's ass. Please.

In many ways, Paul Cole walks a Sabrina Carpenter could run. That is the theory I'm going to hatch and I actually think it has some merit. Paul Cole. No. No, look, Paul Cole sort of had that like country pop kind of vibe that please, please, please has. Think about it. Well, think about it. Okay. Paul Cole.

I'll think about it. Okay, we're putting this on Instagram. Later. Did Paul Cole did Paul Cole have an influence on Sabrina Carpenter? People chime in. All right. So, Carl's like, oh, guys, let me talk about my concept, okay? The vision, the concept to serve our drinks, to show what we're about to my friends and family only today, okay? And you know what? This connects on a deeper level. It's more than being non-ELK. It's about like, I want to change. Not only my family cycle, the addiction, the illness, but I want to break the cycle for other people. Okay. Well, that's a very nice concept,

but I'm not paying $25 for passion fruit and chamomile. No, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to break the cycle of paying for stupid things for stupid people. I'm going to break the cycle. I'm going to start a new cycle of buying chamomile tea at home and putting peppercorns in it at home. Um, like this is, I can't stand this. Like this is all well-meaning. This is all sounds very nice and everything. But the truth is it's like you're serving not elk drinks,

but you're making it sound like, oh, we're breaking the cycle, we're gonna change. Like you're making, you're almost like guilting us, like if we were against this, we're actually for keeping cycles going. And it's like, I just like- You're victim-poking your business. Like just have a business, bro.

Like I don't need your guilt trip. And also breaking the cycle shouldn't bring you money. Anyway, just stop. And why does it connect on a deeper level? Yeah, it doesn't. It's just stop it. Stop trying to sell me with your trauma. I'm not buying it, sir. Okay. I'm not fucking buying it. So then, um, people start arriving, you know, and Lil's there. She's like, Oh my God, this is like, so lemur. This is like a park in Jersey. This is where lemurs

would run. Just saying pick a card, pick a card, pick a card. Has anybody seen my bunny? I had a bunny in this hat. It was supposed to fall, I can't find it. But I still carry the hat around in my purse. Unfortunately, we're going to have to suspend all high road servings because there is a rabbit in the punch bowl.

But he goes, thanks for coming. But he goes, thanks for coming. He tells her, thanks for coming, I love the outfit. And she goes, thank you, I made it. Don't look closely, because there's safety pins everywhere. The way that Carl looks at her when she says she made her outfit, he just kind of looks it up and down like, oh no, Lindsay's gonna see this.

I kind of find that he was like, yeah, I don't love that you're making your own clothes. What are you, Molly Ringwald in the pretty in pink? Yeah, yeah. I loved when Emeril showed up because he showed up on, he like drove to New Jersey on his motorcycle. He's like, I was like, really? You're just going to show up like the Fonz in every single scene, which the reason why

I paused there is because I just remembered I saw the Fonz. Maybe that's why I just referenced the Fonz. I saw Henry Winkler at the airport on Monday when I got off my plane and he was wearing a bright green suit with like a yellow shirt. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. That's my little story. Anyway, I just love that Emerald showing up in school, but Emerald showing up on the motorcycle, like a badass to this, like this friends and

family event for soft at a nice house in New Jersey was so ridiculous to me. Yeah, that's a steak. He's a motorcycle guy who fucks a lot. You know, he's like, Hey guys, I'm breaking my own family cycle of driving cars. So Carl's like, Oh, so when it comes to oil, I don't even know what I'm looking for exactly. Oh, no shit. That's only been the story you've been saying for 10 years on this show.

I just think that like after the previous relationship where I thought like that's the one for me and I was gonna get married, like you kind of gotta like go back to the drawing board. Like that's what you do. That's why you're at Carl 9.0 because you've been drawing on that board a lot. Wait a minute, please tell me

we're not getting another Carl. You know, like, things are really hard on me right now, and I'm not really ready to commit. So, duh, Carl. We've heard it for nine years, brah. Which is, by the way, you're right. It's just funny that Carl thinks he's coming up with a fresh shtick when it's Carl, soft point.

So I like this part, when he's like back to the drawing board. So, Lil, how was the bus? That's Carl soft point. Oh, so I like this part when he's like back to the drawing board. So, Lil, how was the bus? That's cold, bro. You literally have a van sitting right there. I know the girl, the girl that you like, you're going to put her on the fake jitney. Really? You made a gross South Street. Geez. Well, I pulled out my cards at South Street Seaport, but I couldn't guess anybody's card.

I got a couple of things thrown at my face, but I got them to stop and I said, I made this dress. And they all went, oh, and then just kept walking. So that was fun. So Jesse and West arrived and people are arriving. And of course, Jesse is like, so there's no booze here whatsoever like so then Gabby is there everyone's hugging and Carl's like hey thanks for coming she's like yeah it's New Jersey he's like yeah I

can't believe it what's the girl from Westchester doing in New Jersey which is a question I often ask myself anytime I cross the state line and she's like um yeah everyone wants to know that. I'd like to know that too, actually. And he goes, well, we're here because it's Friends and Family Day. So please try all the different bevies. My first would be soft spritz.

It's like spritzer, but the bubbles, like it's been sitting out all day unopened, so it's soft. We believe in really soft bubbles here, which means we forget to put lids back on things. So, spritz. Please enjoy the soft spritz. You mean, seltzer? Water?

You mean flavored seltzer? You know like things become spritz when you add the spritz to it. So when you take the stuff out of the spritz, it just goes back to being what it was originally. Oh, excuse me. This is mindful. Wow.

It's a mindful spritz. It's a mindful spritz. Emeril, you're going to have a drink? Be sure to get it with benefits. OK. Yeah, that's how I get everything, bro. You may have heard of La Croix, but since this is mindful, it's called La Croix.

Think about it. La Soft. So all these beverages come with a mushroom benefit, like if you want it, if you want it. You could benefit from a mushroom, so who can? All right. That is implying there's a microdose element to this. Isn't that?

I don't know. Listen, I don't know. There's different kinds of sobriety. And some people are just sober from alcohol. Some people are sober from coke. There's different kinds of sobriety. But now that's a selling point though. So if you're going to do magic mushroom infused drinks and cannabis infused drinks, now there's a bar. You know what I mean? Because you can still go get fucked up. Exactly.

I don't know that everybody would consider that sobriety. Well, that's what so now it all makes sense. Now I know why it's quote unquote mindful. The mindful is just, you know, fun wording for saying you can do shrinks. Yeah. You're doing so. I was good drink at the sobriety soft bar. That would be great. So he's like, yeah, it's super uplifting. So then Carl's mom, Sharon is here, fucking enabling Sharon is here. And she's like, hey guys, I wanna talk to the boys.

Hey boys, hey Weston Jesse. Oh God, it's so good to see you. Carl's being so strong, isn't he? After all that crap in the breakup that that Lindsay did to him. And she was mean to me too, you know, boys. She was real mean to me too. You know what, Sharon, fuck off.

Like honestly. Like seriously, Sharon. Not Sharon. Sharon's not cool either. I don't think it's very nice how you conspired with your son on camera to gaslight somebody when he was being an asshole and ready to break up with her for months.

And then you tried to gas, make when he was being an asshole and ready to break up with her for months and then you tried to gas make it sound like he's she's abusive and all this other crap sharing. Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna share in a past she's a mother she's allowed to she's allowed to be mad at her daughter in law or future daughter in law I think that's actually a rite of passage. I think that you were of course she has the right but but I have a right to tell her to fuck off too. Not Sharon, Sharon can fuck off there. And then we're taking that shit. Get out of here with that.

Your son never does anything wrong. You see the season Sharon. Have you seen the past nine seasons Sharon, please. I was sad because Sharon didn't get to do her signature move, which is that she pretends to do a little curve scene, but she loves to do that. So yeah, she's like, yeah, she was mean to me too. But like, by the way, none of this would be like,

you watched the show clearly, you all know what Lindsay's about. You knew she was gonna be mean to you. I will say this. I will, like, you can't be surprised that Lindsay could be mean to you. Lindsay, that's her thing. You should have told your son a long time ago,

like don't date this girl, because she's gonna be mean to you and she's gonna be mean to me. No, that's her thing. You should have told your son a long time ago, like don't date this girl, because she's gonna be mean to you and she's gonna be mean to me. No, no, no, have a little class. You know, you're showing up on your son's show, just like why is your first thing to be like, what a bitch Lindsay is? You know, come on, man.

Your son's already taken the cross, okay? There's no room on the cross for you, Sharon, okay? You're gonna have to wait for a new carpenter to show up. Fuck out of here. Leave Sabrina out of this. So, um... As Sabrina would say, on my way. Okay?

Uh... So, Bailey shows up, which is exciting, and she meets people, and that's where we're happy for Bailey to be back in the mix. And then Carl and Emerald say hi, and Carl's where happy for Bailey to be back in the mix. And then Carl and Emerald say hi and Carl's wearing white pants and Sierra's like, oh, hey Carl, these are my favorite pants yet. Which is, I think she was trolling him.

I think he was like, oh, thanks, I thought you liked them. I kind of like the new fashion of the guys that they're all kind of in the great Gatsby. It's like the 1920s are back. They're all wearing like really, really like flowy, silky high-waisted pants like they're in Anything Goes. I kind of like it. It's working for me. So they're like white pants, but they're like high-waisted. So, Carl, 10.0. Here we go. The great Carl's way. Daisy, it's too much for me Daisy right now. So, Sierra, Carl would never be the great Gatsby.

Poor Carl. He'd be like, hey, so about that bootlegging, I'm just not sure that was the right moment for me yet. Like, oh God. Yeah. He's a great depression. Oh, there's a green light across the bay and it's just like a lot right now. So Carl is like, oh, you hug me while you're wearing sequins. I need it to be a little softer. Please be a little softer.

Can we do less flapping and more like petting? That would be nice. So I had a big party to, uh, to invite little over cause I love her so much. Um, so Carl is, Carl is basically, uh, he thinks Bailey for coming and he's like, he goes up to Jesse and he's like, I'm like, there's something about like Carl trying to be like cool and down with like Jesse and West that always lands so inauthentically for me and it's always hilarious.

Like, hey, just saw that. What would just be Solomon do right? Like he's bearing into that kind of like dad territory like a dad is trying to be cool. Yeah, tickles me. God, if you kids want to ride the van, I'll put a new driver sticker on the back. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. I want to ride in the van, I'll put a new driver's sticker on the back. Well, let's do it. Cool that.

We'll cool that. So then Paige, then we find out what this cast really thinks because they're all there to support Carl, but even this cast. So we expect it from Paige, right? But everyone else is like, damn. So Paige is like, I'm so proud of Carl. I'm so happy for him. I mean, it seems like he's just so passionate, you know?

Now, is this an idea that people can say, this is a bad idea, this idea is never gonna work, is this a complete harebrained shit idea that he doesn't have money or skill to finish? Sure, but it makes him happy. So I'm fine with it. And Jesse's like, yeah, I'm a Carl fan. I just wanna makes him happy. So I'm fine with it. And Jesse's like, yeah, I'm a Carl fan. I just wanna see him happy.

Carl Beast. And Wes is like, you know, as human beings, we all need to work towards, things to work towards and to build. And I think it's super healthy. The implication being like shitty idea, but cool that he has something that he is occupying his time.

Right. And then the real thoughts. Jesse's like, oh, you know, I think that any bar concept is a high risk endeavor, like, especially when your highest margin product is alcohol. And Wes is like, yeah, I don't fully undergrasp, I don't really grasp what the long term goal is, but I'll support Carl no matter what. You know what? Can people say, oh, it's a bad idea, oh, it'll never work? Sure.

Do they say it often? Sure. Do people say, wow, good luck blowing away $100,000? Of course they do. But you know what? At least he loves it. Yeah. Yeah, you know, even if this place doesn't make a fucking dollar, that's Carl, right?

So I just want Carl to be happy. I mean, if he's sitting on a bus bench, sleeping on a bus bench, pretending he's watching TV from a bus bench, you know, good for him. Good for you, bro. You know what? If we can support Kyle being a DJ and by extension, Craig sewing a goddamn pillow, which is just a square and takes about five minutes to do, then we can support Carl's bar with no alcohol. Okay? You know, we all have things, you know, it's important to have comedy in our lives.

Listen, we can say what we want about Carl being a DJ, but Carl actually has the audience for it and he's promoting his drinks at the same time. So, Carl's booking DJ gigs, which of course people will just go listen to you DJ, you know, why not? They get a picture with you, all that stuff, and then plus they'll buy your lover boy. So his is actually kind of smart, even though like he's already put into action. Yeah, he's already put into classes. He went to a million dollars. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, am I mortified for anyone who goes to a Kyle cook DJ Kyle cook concert? Yes. But like at least the concert's around.

Will we still invite Kyle Cook to do a set before one of our live shows one day? You bet your K-hole. You bet. Would I mock anyone who goes to a double header of DJ Maddy Reese and Kyle Cook? Yes, would I be that person? Quite possibly.

I might be the one who would attend that show. I'd go. Yeah, I wanna go. I wanna check him out. I'll go. Okay, so Sierra and Paige are on the phone with Lindsay and they're like, oh my God, did you get invited to this event, old lady?

I mean, has the snail mail arrived? I mean, I'm assuming that you still don't have computer. So, did the snail mail arrive in time for you to get the invitation? She's like, did you receive your invitation at misslindseyhubbard at prodigy.net? I mean, she's like, I'm busy. I have to paint the walls and watch them dry.

Oh, you're Erica Janing it? Yes. So Carl's like, I'm sorry. You know, I'm just, you know, Sierra, I just want to tell you a little bit more about this concept, which is that like we want pregnant women to come to the soft bar too. And like one of these days I'll get a pregnant woman to try some of these drinks. Although what is funny is that we find out later on that all this or

all the snacks and hors d'oeuvres served at the event were food is food that pregnant women could not eat at all, which is the most like, this is why it's good to have people from different backgrounds in your workplace to, because you know what, sometimes we get into our tunnel vision. I'm just gonna say, just put that out there. He's just making a Lindsay gig, Lindsay dig, right? He's like, well, one day I hope we can get our pregnant lady here.

Yeah, but he's, no, it's a dig, but he also is trying to make that a selling point because he's like, gotta open up the umbrella as much as possible to get everyone in here. Big 10 event, friends and family. Yeah, guess we're pregnant women drink. Home. Okay, I asked my mom. Hello there! This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch What Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing Just come back a little later for part two. for Carly Clapp! Catherine DiBernardo has our harto. Get on the right foot with

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