Watch What Crappens - #279: New Chapsticks and The One Eyed African

Episode Date: March 29, 2016

Timestamps below! Real Housewives of Atlanta celebrated their second reunion episode by pulling Kim’s wig, but she instantly forgot about it. The Real Housewives of Potomac followed up the crazy with lots of new chapters, missing balloons, and a gay race war. Enjoy!! Timestamps: 0-25 Crappens Mailbag: Guilty Pleasure Shows, Shades of Blue, J-Lo’s hair acting 23:45 RHOA Reunion Part 2 1:08:30 RHOP 50th birthday party and gay race wars ------------------- Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. For all our other links and extras, go to http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsor, Christy Doherty. We love you. Watch what happens when there's so much that happens. Welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast.

The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on the old bravs. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV. And as usual, I'm here with the gorgeous, talented, in a new place, but in a good place, Ben Mandelker of the B-Sidelog.com and the Banter Blender podcast. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's life? Tell me everything.

Oh, man. No, don't do it because I'm not finished with the intro. Suck a trick to you. If you want all of our links, go to watchwhatcrappens.com. Those are our personal links. Also, you can find our Patreon link there, but that is patreon.com slash watchwhatrappens.com. Those are our personal links. Also, you can find our Patreon link there. But that is Patreon.com slash WatchWhatCrappens. That's where you can come get all of our bonus episodes, bonus ringtones, our Google Hangout, which is this Thursday night. We had to postpone.

Sorry. Yeah, sorry. So that's this Thursday night. All the ringtones are going up tomorrow. It's a good time to be a bonus member. And everybody who is a bonus member thank you so much we just did a bonus podcast about moving grocery stores in noho backstreet boys oj neighborhoods in la la la bubbles we went through the real houses of dallas opening lines we covered a lot of territory and i have to say i had a blast on the uh bonus episode this week man those real housewives of dallas i'm a car i'm a carny that's like the best opening

oh so good it was really it was a really fun bonus episode if if you are thinking about coming on board then please by all means because we have a good one for you ready to go and thanks to everybody who does that and the last thing is come to our facebook page facebook.com slash watch what crappens that's where you can talk to us and other listeners about the shows as they air we have live threads for all the shows um you can talk about these shows there these episodes there tell us off if you need to. Get your opinion out there. So yeah, come talk to us. That's where we can all hang out together as one big Krappens family. Yeah. We have a special announcement that we must make to the Krappens world. If you are not on

Facebook or you have not checked it recently, we have very big Watch What Krappens News. Watch what we are doing, a live show on Monday, April 4 4th so it's with in less than a week this is all happening very quickly um monday april 4th at the improv in hollywood uh it's on the early side that's the one catch it's like a happy hour show uh it's at 6 p.m oh my god i'm so dumb i think i put the wrong time on our facebook by the way i think i put 7 p.m what an idiot okay i'll change that later i wrote it out wrote it out no 6 p.m 6 p.m at the improv um it's a free show though it's free it's free um no no minimums

no like drink minimums no nothing just show up you can get your tickets the to get the tickets we have a link up on our facebook page um or i'm sure if you go to the improvs page you can find it there too um doors open at 5 30 so if you're off of work or if you're in town if you're nearby come because um if we have no one in the audience we'll be super embarrassed um i'm prepared for that i'm always prepared yeah especially and i'm glad that it's at a stand-up location because our studio uh the people our network is also owns the hollywood improv yeah and so that's where like our little studio when we do go is yeah and that is also as one of our lovely listeners pointed out yesterday where ariana and tom did their their uh reading he said they did theirs on the main stage we are

gonna be in uh a secondary stage oh you gotta love that okay we're in the stage that's not as good as a stage the ariana read her lesbian childhood. We're on the stage where you don't take sketch comedy very seriously. We don't have to nail the game on the Latin page. But anyway, come. We really hope we get a bunch of people that are able to come see us there

and then afterwards we'll go drink. Yeah, it's right there on Melrose. There's tons of bars. Well, that is a bar, so we can drink there. It is a bar, so we can just drink there or we can all just go to a Sur or something like that. Yeah, they don't give us a lot of free drinks. We'll move it along. Yeah, that's right.

So everyone, it'd be so awesome, especially to meet some of you guys in person. That'd be really, really, really great. Edwards, I'll agree. Listen to that plane. What does he live by? Burbank, Dominique? Yeah, well, I mean, NoHo that plane what does he live by burbank dominique yeah well i mean noho everything in noho is by burbank like as soon as you cross into the valley

there's always a plane overhead so i've now traded in delivery trucks and helicopters for airplanes well the important thing is that people are flying getting out of the valley they'll take whatever it takes to get out of the valley well i know that this is shocking but i am not a web designer okay what can you believe that stop it ronnie anybody who has been to trash talk tv my website knows that that's a fact because that's a damn mess thank Thank God we met new friends named Weebly. Weebly. We cannot believe how easy Weebly makes it.

Yeah. Weebly was created for people with the courage to start their own business and the dream to be their own boss. Yes. Again, you don't need to be a web designer or even know how to code to create a beautiful website blog or online store sweet we were all very impressed with the wide variety of professionally designed mobile friendly themes to choose from then you just simply drag and drop to quickly build and publish your site i mean i don't give a fuck it's too easy it could totally customize update and change your site anytime you want on any device, on any web that Lisa Vanderpump spins. I don't give a

fuck. So join the over 30 million people and webmasters who are already dreaming big with Weebly. Guests are today for free at weebly.com slash watch. That's w-e-e-b-l-y

dot com slash watch. That's W-E-E-B-L-Y dot com slash watch. Weebly dot com slash watch. We love you, Weebly. We love you. We love you so, so much. And now it's time for

What Happens Now? What Happens Now? So we didn't do it on Thursday because we had special guests. And thanks again to Brandy and Julie for coming by from the people's couch, coming by and joining our rock episode. How perfect for us are they? Perfect. So fun. Perfect new friends. I will be bothering you for the are they? Perfect. So fun. Perfect new friends. I will be bothering you for the rest of your lives.

They don't even know what they got themselves into. By the way, I think that regarding our show, I think that Brandon and Craig from Newlyweds are going to come. And I think they're going to bring Tara. So we will have three Bravo-lebrities in the audience, we think. Oh, my gosh. Ariana, if you're listening to this, get over there. We will do a very serious sketch for you, Ariana. Very, very serious.

Yeah, we have no idea what we're going to be doing for that live show. So anybody who actually listens to this that might have something to say from Bravo, feel free to come by and tell us to go fuck ourselves. That's totally welcome. I imagine we're probably not going to recap a show, right? Because monday oh it's only 45 minutes we don't got five hours to talk about these heifers maybe we'll do like a top 10 like our top 10 favorite somethings for another why don't we do that right yeah well we'll do whatever i mean if brandon and craig show up we can do some show tunes if tara shows up we can do some you know relationship talk and like open marriage up talk if tara shows up we can tell her not to you know, relationship talk and, like, open your marriage up talk.

If Tara shows up, we can tell her not to do things. Yeah, we could just be like, uh, hate your new kitchen countertop. New remodel? Just kidding. We don't. She's not coming anywhere near this podcast, especially now that you heard that airplane take off five minutes ago. Like, what? No, I'm not

going to that podcast. You've terrified Tara, darling. Is it because of all the shit they talked about you and rob no it's because they broadcast near an airport we're gonna have that tiny little bags of peanuts just to see if we can make her cry uh we won't invite her her parents um oh they'd love me they'd be like now this is a man yeah my big old eyebrows i'll smell like grape leaves i have the bitterness of a grape leaf uh it's great but we did talk about dolmas extensively on the bonus episode that if you're thinking that we're just making random grape leaf references the answer is no and by the way doesn't get us 100 new subscribers this week

i don't know what will and during my move last week when i was clearing out my refrigerator i did find a jar full of grape leaves so yum i love them they were old though anyway uh what do you what do you use grape leaves for aside from dolmas? I made some sort of yogurt-ish pie from an Otolenghi cookbook. But aside from that, what do you use grape leaves for? I think that's it. My Siti used to have grape leaves growing in the backyard. She used to have her whole fence was covered in grape leaf vines. And then you have to pickle them and everything.

It's not like you just throw them in. You have to treat them before they can even become a dolma. Yeah, you marinate them. One time, they just become a dolma. There's one time you just become a dolma. Lemon. Lemon breaks down any tough surfaces. That is why we have Pine Saw. We'd like to thank Pine Saw for helping us build our perfect

grape leaves website. On Weebler. Our ode to grape leaves and dolmas. The crap is that we are in crazy tough times. P.S. No one's drunk today, okay? So stop. I hear all of you in your car like, oh, God, they're really going off the deep end.

It's not every day, people. We are sober, but caffeinated. Meaning we are caffeinated. It's not like our butts are caffeinated. We're not butt caffeinated like that. You never know around here. My God. Had a caffeine animal.

Can we get to the let's get to the mailbag. So the point is this. We're going to we missed some questions from last week. So we'll we'll go through those questions. And we have some for this week also. So Teresa Maravich, one of our most active crappins mailbag users she actually just says count the times erica says listen that is all so oh god now that's gonna be in my head does she say that all the time apparently she does so everyone when you

when you watch real houses of bever Hills, listen for a little something. I wanted to make a thing of Erica doing her smart people hands. I often talk about how she makes smart people gestures so that she'll look smart even though she's saying stupid shit. So, like, she'll put her thumb and her forefinger together and talk like that, like a lawyer. And I'm like, bitch, you ain't running for mayor. But I wanted to make a clip. Stop touching your thumb and forefinger you're ridiculous penguin you're not running for mayor yes or she'll like do that thing where she's kind of pointing it's a speech something you learn in debate class you know where you talk with your hands in a smart way even if

you don't know what you're saying and i wanted to make a whole super clip of her doing that and i sat down to do it the other day. And I was like, I am not watching 18 hours of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for that. No one will even get it. Get a life. Get a hobby. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.

I'll put my thumb and my forefinger together. I don't give a fuck. I'll take them apart. I'll point. I won't point. I don't give a fuck. Okay, so what's the next one? Lauren Grabowski.

She says, today on Facebook, a friend of mine posted, got Don Rickles tickets in Atlantic City. Can't wait. And he was serious. Made me think of you two. My question is this. What is your favorite guilty pleasure music, TV show from childhood, 80s movies?

Love you guys. Well, I have an issue because I don't really feel guilt about many things because guilt will ruin your life. Give it up. I think my guilty pleasure music, it's weird. Oddly enough, I think ever since I came out of the closet, I don't have guilty pleasure music anymore because I think one thing about being gay is that you're allowed to enjoy shit. You know, it's just like fabulous if you do. So I think Amy Grant, I think, is my guilty pleasure. I think, yeah, probably or maybe Dave Matthews.

I wonder what percentage of gay people don't even like Dick. They just like really stupid music. This is like the only culture that it's so acceptable in. Yeah. I think maybe like listening to the Chipmunks Christmas song is a guilty pleasure. I don't know. You make a good point. I don't know if I feel guilty about any music anymore.

I used to, but not anymore. I don't have any pastime guilties. I have a current time guilty. Would that count? Sure. My bestie told me, you love twisty turny tv shows you have got to watch this show it is so good it's gonna blow your mind after every episode mind blown all over the ceiling my mind there's my mind i'm like okay what is it it's called shades of blue this is the cheesiest fucking thing i've ever seen it's jennifer lopez and ray liotta

and jennifer lopez they're they're all bad cops but it's like a network drama version of bad cops so they're like walking and making jokes and they're like yeah did you kill that homeless person oh i'll take care of it later it's so good and j-lo is trying to do like five different accents and they make her wear baggy pants so that we get that she's like poor but then in every episode she does this beautiful cry where she's leaning up against a window and she just can't take it anymore and like rock music's playing while she's crying and then she fucks some stranger love this show so she is a she is a bad cop yeah she's in ray liotta is like her bad cop uh father and uh he well not father for real but like in the cop world the cop family mentor mentor and they are getting investigated and so the whole

thing is them trying to jump through all these hoops i don't want to tell you too much because you've only seen this storyline 57 000 times in other tv shows like the commish or something well not the commish uh the shield yeah but i thought that um i did not think that that's what the show was about at all i thought it was just a standard procedure that actually does make me want to see it i love it i've watched six episodes of it so far i think there's only 13 so i think i'm halfway through and i roll my eyes through half of it and laugh because JLo's accent really is hilarious. She changes it five times and she's from the Bronx. She's playing in New York City.

Cop, that's what cracks me up. I'm like, OK, are you in Switzerland now? She'll be like, well, what were you doing today, my daughter? Who are you talking about, Jennifer Lopez? You've been in nine million things. You know, it's funny talking about guilty pleasures. I feel like that applies more to me for TV and movies. And a recent

guilty pleasure of mine also features J-Lo and that is another airplane overhead. It's J-Lo's private plane. The Boy Next Door is one of the best guilty pleasures of the past few years. Probably the best guilty pleasure since Tyler Perry's Temptation,

which is also an amazing guilty pleasure. So that's the one where she's boning the teenager next door, right? This super hot teenager next door. They have actually amazing chemistry, and it's a shame that the movie turns into a ridiculous thriller because it could have just been a really fun throwback to those 80s sexual dramas remember when they used to have those all in the 80s like you know um like nine and a half weeks or yeah whatever you know um but i like the cheesy horror too because this one is yeah adrian lynn

this one is uh similar to that it's like that kind of early 90s vibe where the woman is the lead and she's it's all about a powerful woman which is my favorite kind of show i'm still the good wife like i love that kind of show i love like watching a woman feel like she's down but then watching her fight her way back to the top which of course is every jennifer lopez movie ever and she's next abuse victim so it's kind of like enough which she's already done and we've already seen her kick that guy's ass and i could use a retread of that yeah so the boy yeah the boy next door is great um yeah this one is terrible and wonderful and i hope it never ends because jennifer lopez uh cry fucking every blonde

white person on the show is just killing me i love it i want to also say another thing that's important to to know about the boy next door is that um kristin chenoweth is in it and uh kristin chenoweth and j-lo are like gal pals like kristin chenoweth is the principal at the school that j-lo teaches at and for that alone it's great and and things happen with kristin chenoweth she has some really really strong scenes and i'll just leave it at that i love kristin chenoweth yeah like it's the it this movie is funny and then there's also during the climactic scene there is a moment that is so horrifyingly disgusting. It comes out of nowhere.

You're like, oh my god, I can't believe they just showed that. It is absolutely disgusting. And everyone in the theater squeals. I was like, ah! Like, wait, this movie is not supposed to do that to us. Kristen Chenoweth isn't supposed to do death scenes like that? Because you know that's what you just said. No, no, it's not with Kristen Chenoweth.

It better not be. I will lose it. If you want to see me lose it in a theater, kill Kristen Chenoweth. I will fucking lose it. Actually, Ronnie, I actually think that we should watch this movie. I watched it originally with David Clark, our friend David Clark, who's been – oh, not on this podcast, but he's been on The Banter Blender. And obviously you know david and uh man it was like this was like our our schindler's list it was just like throw all the oscars at this one throw all the gay throw all the gay oscars at this one because it is fabulous it made you denounce your judaism how dare you say that the boy next door replaced schindler's list uh okay

so next question uh randy guerrero says considering that potomac has been renewed for a second season who of the original cast do you guys think will most likely not return if any at all well this is the thing you can't just recast potomac this is not one of the bigger cities where there's like tons of camera whores just lining up to do it i mean they can barely get people to a barbecue on this show yeah i think that robin is the most in danger i think they're all just going to come back yeah i don't see them finding anybody else yeah they'll probably just add someone else. They'll find someone. They'll find someone who wants to be on it.

Look, the show had the biggest premiere of any Real Housewives ever. Yeah, it was on after the biggest Housewives show of all time, though. So whatever. Whatever with this show. I like it. It'll be interesting to see because season two is always better. Season one, they always try so hard. And, you know, maybe it'll be super fun in Season 2. I don't know.

I don't know. I usually think Season 1 of a Real Housewives show tends to be pretty special. But then Season 2 can also be very, very special. And along these lines, Lori... Hi, Lori. She says, How the hell did Real Housewives of Potomac get a second season and Gala Girls...

Gala Girls and Princesses of Long Island did not? help me to understand well real housewives of potomac is after real housewives of atlanta that's how yeah yeah i think what do you think well pretty much i mean it's also i do think that i mean i think potomac is good i think it's entertaining and i think there's that um i think also there's an underserved audience that bravo has finally realized you know well not finally but like you know atlanta has huge ratings and i feel like part of that is probably there's probably a lot of black viewers that tune into that right um and that's a big audience that tv executives across the board are

suddenly because of empire yeah suddenly empire is like oh after empire people like oh yeah that's right black people do watch tv you know um yeah princesses and the other show gallery girls were young desperate slag shows and bravo did not have any shows like that so if those had been on now they could go after Vanderpump Rules and they'd do great because that's the odd you know I think so but I'm not even sure I think the competition for the audience that would watch Princesses Long Island

and Guy Girls is much higher than for for Potomac perhaps because there is just a massively underserved even in the post empire world. It's just, you know, I think that the, the black audience is totally, totally underserved. So, um, you know, if, and Atlanta real houses of Atlanta is a really marquee name. Um, like that has like a, that's like a really big show. It has like a, you know,

and so anything that can piggyback off of that is going to do well married with medicine also but i think that like um married medicine now there's a show yeah but you know like something like princesses long island you know it just it goes up with every other show that's about like stupid young white rich girls you know there's just so many of them i do not see any shows with a girl still living at home crying every five minutes because she's not married that show i need or girls who get so mad when you call them funny looking yeah funny looking who does that dad He called me funny looking. Princesses was a great show.

Gaga Girls was a great show. Game of Crowns was a great show. Didn't we have another one recently that we really loved? I don't know. It's a shame. Some of these shows just, they don't get the audience that they deserve. You know, that shit expires in my head. The second we stop talking about it, I'm like, whoop. Maybe.

Maybe for a drive and reformat that shit so i don't have to buy a new one yeah maybe for our live show we'll talk about our favorite bravo shows that were gone too soon right on right on um let's see uh so that was we have four more questions from this week but why why don't we table those for Thursday's show? How about that? Do it, man. Yeah, this way we can just get on to our normal show. Let's do that.

I support you. Yay. Yay. so shall we begin with the real housewives of atlanta yeah see i like when candy comes to a reunion just ready to fight with everybody because it's very rare she keeps it so calm and cool and she is ready to go and i love it we're only a part two of this reunion and the look of misery on these bitches faces is hilarious they do a pan across all the women and they're like oh so mad and kenya's like giving this hateful look to nobody like she just cannot believe what she

has had to withstand yeah she hasn't been able to go over to craft services in a moment if you know what i mean stupid kenya she's like waiting to make anything about her it's like welcome back to the real housewives of atlanta how dare he say welcome back when he knows my mother would never welcome. It's like, this is not about you. All right. Calm down. Yeah. Our contacts. Yes.

Yes. Yes. We opened the week with talk of the booze cruise. The booze cruise. And specifically the big brawl that happened. And one thing that I really liked was that some some one of the viewers one of the questions was that like hey have you ever noticed kenya that you're always involved with all the physical interactions like on the pillow talk night and the and the reunion and what happened

on lake lanier have you ever noticed that you're always part of it kenya's kenya which is like it's so true and kenya's like well I'm allowed to say what I want it's like shut up Kenya you are part of it of course like you know someone should never resort to violence and you don't want to blame the quote unquote blame the victim but at a certain point though you know there are some things that you could do

and this is by the way separate from the entire discussion at the end of the reunion about the kid. Because that one, you know, I'm on Kenya's side on that one. But in these other little spats, it's like, Kenya, you were provoking. I know, Kenya. When she says, well, it's legal to use words. So me using words is totally legal. But using violence is not. Have you ever heard of justified homicide, Betch?

You need to watch more Law & Order episodes because you haven't watched them yet. Or at least Shades of Blue. Oh, God. Jennifer Lopez would fuck some blonde 20-year-old right now and then cry against a wall, you little wuss. I just wish that Kenya would admit on some level that she provokes people like that's the thing she acts as if she's just speaking her mind like it's just an airing of grievances but it's like you know what you're doing when you take out a megaphone and blast it in someone's face when they have just gone through a divorce that they are like

their world is just shattered and you are just like poking that be you know that that the hornet's nest is kim would say you know things are going to happen things are going to happen kenya the worst and it's usually nothing that she it's usually stuff that she's not even involved in that's what cracks me up it's just her just coming in to be a bitch to be a bitch earn that check and and leave um but some of my favorite clips from this uh this section was the finger fighting so portia and cynthia's fight was so stupid because cynthia just showed up like nini's not here i need to fight with somebody for no reason because otherwise people are going to be mean to me on twitter so she just starts yelling and starts this fight with portia over nothing and then portia doesn't really get it but she's starting to get revved up.

And so they do this thing where they're like finger fighting. And that's what kids do at the table. They like take little finger swords. Don't they know if they just take their finger and touch it to their thumb, they'd just be smart? That's why none of you are married to a billionaire lawyer who knows Julia Roberts. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. That's why none of you are married to a billionaire lawyer who knows Julia Roberts.

So this finger fight ends with a kick to the stomach and then a PA tackling Portia. And I forgot that Portia was on the ground shaking. She was shaking like she was being given an exorcism. And the PA was just like lying right on top of her so then the discussion is stupid because cynthia is another one who's always running for mayor but no one will vote for her anyway she's always trying to talk in a way that the voters are listening you know she's like well we have talked about this since i regret the way i came upon the argument but i do not appreciate the b word being used you know stupid stupid stupid what is the b word she's like uh bountiful i don't know she doesn't even know which b word she's talking about she's like bounce

lob bounce just bounce that would be the most entertaining thing cynthia ever did on this show actually a monotone version of calvin harris by the way throughout this you know sheree is the unsung hero of this reunion because andy at one point when they're talking about the brawl andy says something to Shrae about like, oh, well, you've been through your fair share. And they reference when Shrae pulled on Kim's wig and Shrae is like, no, Eddie, it was a wig shift. It was a wig shift. And then Kim Fields starts to get it all along. It was a wig shift.

At the time, she wasn't tacking it down. It was a wig shift. At the time, she wasn't tacking it down. And Kim feels is all confused because they keep saying, like, oh, you pulled on Kim's wig. And Kim feels like, what? Kim goes, is she talking about the other Kim? She's scared. Like, she blacked out the moment that someone tried to pull off one of her wigs.

Phaedra has to be like, no didn't talk about kim zosiak she's like oh it was like she found out that like carpool started an hour earlier she's like what huh what i missed it look she had the most believable look of who what like she really never watches i think her agent was like look you need to pay your taxes do do this show and she's like i don't even care what it is i'll do it Do this show. And she's like, I don't even care what it is. I'll do it. And then she came on. She's like, why is everybody yelling at each other? I really think she never watched one. She's one of those that I actually believe. Yeah.

And she, by the way, she quit. She quit Real Housewives. We didn't talk about this yet. Well, she got fired first. Well, yeah, she probably got fired. Actually, I'm not sure she would have gotten fired. Because she really, I mean, she was the source of a lot of the drama for this season. So – but she did quit.

And now that she's on Dancing with the Stars, she's talking about how Bravo did not treat her well. Now that she's on Dancing with the Stars, she's being treated like a real star. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm a real star. They let me get my own hot dog off a cart and they didn't give Sebastian more salt when he asked for it. Network Awards. dog off a cart and they didn't give sebastian more salt when he asked for it she's like i just love riding in the van with all those pas it's like i'm in my own personal carpool listening to them talk about this fight because then it switched it was like it was shamia and then it was porsche and cynthia but then they were like well just go talk to cynthia again so and candy said because andy said why are you such a thug this lady from

bethustala albuquerque mexico face wants to know cynthia when did you become such a horrible human being you're a violent awful woman and i hope you die cynthia cynthia goes was that a question or a read i mean like um just to read okay moving on candy that was funny and candy's like well the reason she's like the planet died down but we told her to go work things out with Cynthia so it's kind of our fault yeah it was awful

and then Portia now I don't have a problem with you Cynthia and Cynthia is like yes we've discussed it we no longer have a problem with each other yeah I don't have a problem it's just then because you grabbed my hand my hand was grabbed well I did I only grabbed your hand and then andy said she grabbed her hand because it was in her face she's like yeah andy well but your hand was in that face because the

the face and then grabbed it and that's why i'm like good defense please never defend yourself in court porsche yeah exactly and then, just she started saying over and over again, I had a total contusion. I had a total contusion. Oh, yeah. Her trying to say contusion. She's like, well, oh, because the question was, wait a second. On TV, you're acting like you've got bruises all over your face. You have like quad stitching on the side of your face.

Yeah. You've got like you know you're in a wheelchair she's like well condition of the stomach fake contouche like what well i know i was kicked in the stomach because of contouche a canter i was like oh poor thing so um and then like kenya gets in the in the mix of this i don't even remember how because either she starts speaking or they're talking about Kenya. She starts with her. You're violence. And here you are again being violent to another innocent person like me who did nothing to anyone and then was suddenly attacked by you.

Yeah. So then they start fighting and then they start like doing that thing about like, well, I could be talking about this. I could be talking about that. And then Portia's like, let's talk about you and the one-eyed African who's married. And then the best is Sheree, who on the side goes, the one-eyed African what? Whatever you want. Whatever you want. One-eyed African, you're weak.

You got a one-eyed African. You got a one-eyed african or wing did you see where the one-eyed african i don't got a one-eyed african that one-eyed african got electric i don't got electric this whole fight was beautiful. Kenya's like, I was really terrified when Portia said, you don't want me to get up. I was like, oh God. So then it starts, Portia goes, Kenya, shut up.

Let's talk about your chair pull. How about that? You want to talk about a chair pull? And Kenya's like, let's talk about when you beat up your assistant in the finale. Wait, what? What assistant did she beat up at the finale? I don't know. Apparently it was cut out, but I think that obviously if it had

been anything noteworthy, they probably would have put it in the show. Or maybe they were going to save it for like Housewives Secrets Revealed, one of my least favorite specials of all time. Because that's fucking amazing. Let's talk about you beating up your assistant in the finale and then Portia. Let's talk about you beating up your assistant in the finale and then Portia. Let's talk about the one-eyed African who's married!

Huh? The one-eyed African. And then she says, you big bully. And Kenya's like, there are three violent episodes now, Portia. Three! On camera! Oh! So good. Portia's like, I never stood on a camera

and got violent. How dare you? Condition! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I have ordered a condition with french fries. I'm not leaving until it gets here. I'll have the value three cadouche, please. Kenya's lies, not even manipulations, because she ain't even sneaky enough to manipulate.

She's just a pointy, tattletale, compulsive, lying asshole. Kenya is a horrible, horrible, horrible human being. So now let's talk about how sorry we should feel for her. I know, because I do feel, honestly. God damn it. when they talk about her mom because as as crazy as kenya is you almost feel like well she maybe she wouldn't have been crazy if her mom weren't so crazy you know well one thing i've learned from watching lifetime movies is that every serial killer has a very sad past and i wish i could go back and hug that child but you know what they become adults and start chopping

heads off so at some point you have to say, I feel sorry for the young you. The old you is a cut fitness. Yeah. Hugs. Yeah. So we had a whole segment about the mom and Kenya showing up, et cetera. And one of my favorite parts was Andy Cohen with this look of concern on his face. He goes, I wonder if the cameras

hadn't been there if things might have been different I'm like yeah that could be the new name for this show I wonder if the cameras hadn't been there things have been different and the answer would be yes in all cases on all shows Andy's sitting in human resources for some I don't know sprinkler company yeah things would have been different yeah exactly i'm sure yes like the stupid it's like honestly the stupidest question stew or stupidest like thought to have on this show hmm i wonder if you're already damaged and frayed relationship with your mother would have been improved if you hadn't ambushed her on camera for the benefit of me and my production company yeah when i made you yeah i wonder i wonder actually kind of

interesting because as much as it's been rehashed over and over on the show and as much as we've rehashed it on our rehash show of their rehash shows um we actually did get some interesting answers because when we had originally talked about it, my opinion was her mom probably wanted to give that kid up for adoption. The family wouldn't let her. So they decided to raise the kid. And she was like,

I'm not having anything to do with the kid. And it was bad all the way around. That's my guess. That's what it sounds like happened. And it's interesting that they actually went into it that deeply because Andy was out. He's like, I i mean what the hell people got mad and she said no one understood what i was saying i understood that she didn't want a child but the fact is she wouldn't even look at me and she would be in the same room like she'd be living at my grandma's house and i'd be

there and she would like be in a room with me and I was not allowed to speak to her. That is really – And that was alluded to – I think that was mentioned in the regular season. I think we did talk about that, that we didn't realize – when she had her conversation with Aunt Lori, it was when we found out that there had been several family events over the years where they were in the same room and she wouldn't acknowledge her. And that is where it's like fucked up because that's disgusting it's it's that like okay you don't want to have a child but you can't just act like you just don't even know her i mean that's i feel for kenya as crazy as she is i feel for kenya on that front and the funny thing is then when porsche then kenya gets mad at porsche because porsche said you know the reason why it's hard for kenya to like show love why you don't see

the softer side of kenya she said is because she had this bad relationship with her mom and ken's like no no you see the soft side of me i have a very loving father i'm like this was not actually an attack on you kenya porsche was actually supporting you this was a way for you to say oh yeah that's why i sometimes act like a bitch because of my mom this is like your way out oh the question was so rude and he's like porsche do you regret saying that kenya will never know how to love a human being because she never got love from her mom. But it was so mean. And then Portia is like, that's true.

And basically just said, you don't learn compassion unless you've got parents who are showing you a lot of compassion and this and that. And I get it. Now, then Kenya, which, look, Kenya is the victim in that situation. Okay. I just hate her so much that I honestly don't care. But Kenya was a victim. But she, okay? I just hate her so much that I honestly don't care. But Kenya was a victim. But she goes, that's not true. I'm very close with my father.

Bitch, you just started talking to your dad again like last year. Yeah, you ran away from home. And then didn't speak for a decade or some shit. Like, stop acting like you're so close with your father. You made the man cry in a public park. He's like, Mr. and kim is just nodding like you see that's why i don't leave my children at home alone i don't want them turning into kenya yeah she has a point um so then the next segment uh peter peter showed up in his burgundy turtleneck holding sunglasses this was the douchiest thing okay listen peter peter showed up in his burgundy turtleneck holding sunglasses this was

the douchiest thing okay listen peter wearing them was he wearing them i thought he wore them until he said and now for uncle ben and then he took off his glasses like oh please like you did not just walk in off the street okay you are you have a green room it's also at night we know it's at night because little aiden came in and he's gonna go have dinner okay the fact that you brought these sunglasses in to look cool like you're some sort of baller in your in your burgundy turtleneck it's just he's just awful he is awful so how's your marriage he's like taking off his sunglasses. We're in a good place. Yeah. We're in a good place.

Yeah. Going great. So why do you live in Charlotte still? Well, we know at our age, we got to set ourselves up. You know, like it's about her business. It's about my business that you are building with her money. Fool with no money. He's trying to set yourself up there. He's such a liar.

And so Cynthia and Portia and Phaedra are so mean and hilarious to me. with no money who's trying to set yourself up they are he's such a liar and so cynthia and porsche and phaedra are so mean and hilarious to me they're just openly laughing the whole time he's talking about his separation yeah i mean he's just uh he is such a piece of work and andy well that's okay so you you're not, I love Andy's look of confusion. So you're always in Charlotte and she's, you know, that sounds like separation. And his answer. I could be a soldier. I mean, I could be a soldier in the army and like, I wouldn't be able to see her.

And then, you know, no one would say anything separated because, you know, she doesn't even need to visit Charlotte. Cause I got millions of police people telling on me. And he's like, oh, yeah, with cell phone video. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Like, all I had to do was write down everything he said because then Andy goes, well, Cynthia, speaking of that cell phone video, you saw it. What do you think?

And she goes, well, I know Peter and I think that Peter would be more discreet. Okay? Did you see the video, you fucking idiot? And by the way, doesn't that also just prove everything? Right? Peter's saying, no, I can't have an affair because everyone's in my face with this. And then she's like, yeah, he would be more discreet. So doesn't anyone think, well, so because everyone's in his face, don't you think he's being discreet by having an affair on the side?

Like, come on, people. He's too stupid to be discreet. And I love that that's her answer after seeing a video where he's like, yeah, love strangling somebody. Stupid Peter. It was so good, though. This is the best Cynthia stuff I've seen because she's just lying now. Like she's because they are because they are actually separate. Didn't a TMZ thing come out this week that they are actually officially separated?

Yeah, but, I mean, she just tries to get in TMZ doing what she can. I don't think she's been with him since the Jurassic Park wedding. That was pretty much it. Yeah, exactly. I mean, as much as she tried to convince us with, like, the walrus rubdown she gave on the season finale, I do not. The walrus hand job? Yeah, I don't think that they are together. I'm trying to figure out which Tusk actually works.

Could you tell me which one to pick? I don't care. So Andy's questions are getting so funny as he does this longer and longer. He's like, so if Cynthia's not on the show next year peter do you think your marriage will last not do you think your marriage will last but if this bitch doesn't have a job next year are you gonna still stay around and he's like i don't know yeah yeah andy is not i think he'll be up in Charlotte. Yeah, not even.

Peter is such a lowlife. It's amazing how much he makes my skin crawl. The amount of bullshit that he spews. It's actually so disheartening to think that a woman like cynthia bailey wound up with a guy like peter well there's something got to be going on with cynthia that this whole time has been happening and her family didn't want her to get married but she did anyway even though she knew he was a piece of shit so there's got to be something there that we i mean obviously that we don't see because i don't show shit but um i also i have to point out that one thing that also amused me because i'm like obsessed with

charie was that when peter came out they moved charie to another couch i just love the idea that they just shuffle they just put charie wherever they can they can fit her it's like uh you go over there now okay no matter you know she'll be like standing behind the set like soon yeah she'll be one of the giant pots in the back She'll be popping up behind the couch like, What is that? You need this house? You want me to build this couch now? Should I go with this couch? This couch got electric? This couch got electric?

He'll be like, let's talk about Kenya's mom. What about African? What? Oh, my goodness. So then. Kenya versus Portia part two. Again. So let's find a way to make Cynthia's fake marriage about two bitches who ain't ever gonna

have one okay kenya and well i guess porsche had a fake marriage already but kenya and porsche too kenya what rumors how did this get on rumors oh they started talking about who's meaner cynthia or porsche because porsche makes jokes about cynthia's marriage but then cynthia always made jokes about everybody else's marriage and now she's getting the what are the shows so so stupid well it started with cynthia and porsche and then of course kenya is not being asked a question so she makes it all about her again and doesn't let them answer and she's like well it's porsche's fault because she's the one who was saying the rumors out loud and blah, blah, blah. And, oh, no, no.

Cynthia said that. It's Portia's fault because she was the one saying those rumors out loud. Yes, people were talking, but it's her who said it on camera. And then Peter's like, yeah, you got dirt on me? You got dirt on me, little girl? Then just say it. If you want to get in the bus, then run over me with your bus. I ain't afraid of you, Portia.

And she's like, don't push me. He's like, I don't care. I'm lying. I'm a speed, then run over me with your bus. I ain't afraid of you, Porsche. And she's like, don't push me. He's like, I don't care. I'm lying. I'm a speed bump. Go over me with the bus. She's like, I don't know how to drive a bus. And then Kenya jumps in and she's like, what rumors have you heard? That you a hoe?

That you got things by being a hoe? And then Porsche goes, let's talk about the man that bought your house. Yeah. And she's like like I make my own change and she goes you need to get a dry piece of change instead of a wet piece of change yeah what at that point I think the actual quote was because Kenya said

I don't lie on my back to get a piece of change and Portia goes yes you do a small piece of change maybe you should get a dry piece of change instead of that wet piece of change in that ditch. What? And then Kenya goes, shut your mouth. Shut your mouth, Portia. You don't even know what you're saying without a dick in it.

Yeah. I love that Portia is more intelligible with a dick in her mouth. These women, their fights are so stupid. I know. When she's – well, but the best wasorsche's response though because then porsche goes well we should talk about the one you talk every day before you come to work bitch so good and of course no denials either and then porsche i never named names and cynthia is like yeah well it's all over the internet and she's like so it's Peter. If you want to know who he's cheating with, look to anybody who's 19 years old.

She goes, who? She goes, you better find out how his waitress is getting paid. What? No waitress is going to be paid in Old Man Uncle Ben. No, no, no. Wait a second. It wasn't just you better find out how your waitress are being paid. She goes, find out how your waitress are being paid, okay?

And it's full of penis. It's oh case you didn't know case you couldn't tell my innuendo let me just spell it out for you run me over with the dick bus i'm tired now okay nice fight okay so this is where andy points out that cynthia was talking shit about phaedra's marriage last year and then phaedra phaedra lies i think more than anybody else on any of these shows combined and she does it in the most entertaining way and i just can never hate her i think she's hilarious even though she's full of shit every time she speaks she's like she says this with a straight face well andy i try to stay out of marriages i don't speak on them because i don't want them talking about my business like really really and then cynthia

of course with her running for mayor i regret it i regret what i said about phaetra and i've said that over brunch on, as you might remember. Let me see here. Peter Stoned. Then's when your favorite part of the show comes. What's my favorite part of the show? When little Aiden comes out? Yes. Oh, he's so cute.

Aiden comes out. So let's see what they were just talking about, because this was cracking me up marriage divorce absentee mothers oh look it's the kid come on out hey look it's little aiden yay now let's talk about prison yeah totally they're like okay bye and he's wearing a little hulk backpack which i thought was so cute because his dad was just running around like the Hulk with like a screwdriver with no bit. Yeah. So then Phaedra starts talking about prison, how she took Aiden to prison and that someone was like masturbating.

Bye, Aiden. Bye. So Phaedra, that reminds me. How was prison? Tell us about it. Yeah. And she was talking about how someone was masturbating someone else. And Phaedra was like, well, but now I've taken him there.

she's talking about how someone was masturbating someone else and phaedra was like well but now i've taken them there so now everyone can stop you know asking when i'm gonna take and stop asking questions and stay out of my business which is like a veiled attack at candy so then candy this is like then candy starts to defend herself which is my favorite because candy has two modes of defending herself she either is like really sharp-tongued and she will come for you that her mama joyce comes out or she becomes candy talking to mama joyce and she gets the queer voice and she goes like see now i feel like that was like a dig at see now me and so i know like it's my opinion and and I think that, you know. Oh, Candy. Oh, Candy.

Well, this one she didn't. She wasn't doing goat crying. This one, was she? There was a little bit, I thought. Just a little. It wasn't as strong. It wasn't as strong, but it was there. And she's like, well, at least I'm not fake.

I didn't reach out because we weren't in a good place. And so, now, this was interesting, too, because we've had a lot of conversations about whether phaedra should take the kids to jail i always thought no like fuck that he committed the crime that those kids shouldn't be thinking jail is some normal thing and i don't blame her for not taking them i don't think she should have to yeah i i yes okay now now go the other because that's what – that was the argument on here too. I mean I thought that like she probably should have – I don't know. It's hard for me to say. I've never been in that position.

If I were her friend, I probably wouldn't weigh in either way because it's such a unique situation. And it's like I – I think I offered up an opinion because we have a podcast. But in general, I probably would just like like I would actually just stay out of it. But Candy did make a point, though, which is that like he is coming out. He will be out of jail at some point. So, you know. Well, then if he wants a relationship with the kids when he's out of jail, fine. She's not having to take him to like masturbation town to see him or whatever.

Yeah. But, of course, Phaedra is also making herself sound like some kind of hero that she went to the jail and she finally let the kids see the father like it was this huge momentous moment when she was only going to give him divorce papers to sign yeah and then she has a PR tour he decided that he didn't feel like signing the papers at the moment, but I'm still hopeful. Yeah. He was like, bitch,

get out of here with those papers. The point that Candy made that I thought was interesting, because I don't even think she said it this clearly, but she said, cause Phaedra made the point I said, like he's the one who did the crime and he has to do the time and I'm not taking the kids down there. Period.

Candy said, well, yes, he did do the crime. That's true taking the kids down there period and candy said well yes he did do the crime that's true but you married him um okay she did marry a felon she did marry him actually kind of being involved with the crimes that he was committed to prison for in the first place so yeah we all know that but she did not marry a man in jail when he committed all those other crimes she did not marry that man who was committing

all of those crimes and then spending all that money on hookers and then bragging about it or strippers rather and then bragging about it on national tv and dangling it in front of her face i hope this has taught you people you men i mean by you people don't be fucking with someone like phedra she'll get your ass thrown in prison and if you don't think she did watch this more closely yeah absolutely absolutely um i thought what was interesting was when phedra then started to do this whole thing about how none of apollo's friends stepped up to be male role models uh they all hung out with apollo but then as soon as he went to jail no one like stepped in to be like a male role model to aidin and the other one well what happened to Burger? What was that guy's name?

Hamburger or whatever. I was like, what about Bun? The truth is, Phaedra, count your blessings. You want Peter to step in to be a role model for your son. You want Todd to be a role model. Todd's better than Peter. But still, count your blessings. You should be so lucky that Peter

has not taken Aiden under his wing. Could you imagine peter showing up on phaedra's doorstep i just came here to play with the kids uh sit on my lap i'm santa claus like you know she would not have that she'd have him in jail for molestation so fast yeah exactly like no phaedra you should be happy like this is this is a blessing in disguise just find anyone have dwight be the be the role model for crying out loud but not peter not peter he is like you're my little elf on a shelf little man i mean he's got greg leaks as his role model greg leaks the shady ass landlord greg leaks

and then phaedra i mean wait what am i Oh, yeah. And then Andy keeping it classy as always. So who are you dating? I'm just trying to catch her in something. And she's like, my father raised me right, Andy. And I will only be dating after the divorce is final. Just like my mama taught me. I'm like, oh, get out of here. You've been painting chocolate for the past two years.

Yeah, chocolate. That's right. Oh, yeah. i can't wait to see chocolate um so then speaking of dating we then started talking about uh uh portia and oliver and where they're at which then meant that we saw for the hundredth time girls got cookies i didn't say thin mint i'm sorry you heard it you heard it so you got crills got cookies on that but but but this meant that we this meant not thin mint this meant this meant that's what you heard thin mint so uh poor oliver you know anytime the producers can pull out the shot of him falling over in the hot

tub they will they're like hey so how's oliver doing they cut to him in the hot tub. They will. They're like. Hey. So how's Oliver doing? They cut to him in the hot tub. Falling over. I was like. This poor guy. This poor guy. Never fall over. On camera. Because they will never.

Let you live it down. And it's funny every time too. It's always funny. It is always funny. And Kenya and Cynthia. You know. Cynthia. If you had your own personality.

You wouldn't bother me so much. But the fact that your ass needs to just sponge off of every bitch's personality like any alpha around you you need to sponge them up it's pathetic so kenya is rolling her eyes like she's just been you know grunchified and of course that makes sense but cynthia's rolling her eyes like she has any issue with anything ever and they're rolling their eyes and porsche sees them and so andy's like so what about the relationship with that hot guy who fell down and she's like well we're not in a relationship but we still speak i'd like to call him and tell him about the celebrity

apprentice that i'm on this year oh my god kenya almost her head almost popped off yeah exactly i would love to hear kenya's ken Kenya's thoughts on Donald Trump, actually. This is, you know, it's kind of funny if you say, like, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Well, Donald Trump did say that Kenya was, like, the worst contestant he's ever had on The Apprentice. Like, build a wall. Build a wall around it. So what does that make Kenya to us? So now we get into, like, the Miami thing and everything about that kid,

Glenn and all that stuff. And first, um, then Andy kind of busted Phaedra a little bit about how she compared this guy to like, um, what's his face? Michael Brown from Ferguson and black lives matter.

And how, like even though I think it was even Kenya. Kenya mentioned it, how the head of Black Lives Matter like tweeted that Phaedra should be ashamed of herself for equating the two and did like a disservice to the entire movement, which she most certainly, certainly did. I was like, good for Kenya. Sarray. OK, first of all, all the women were cuckoo in this argument. This was crazy. This was actually a crazy segment.

I was actually extremely, like, I couldn't believe that Kenya was the voice of reason during this segment. And Candy was the most voice of reason, but Kenya, too, though. Well, and then Kenya, of course, was not a voice. I mean, Sarray has that bitch pegged. When Sarray said, who's the one who invited him over? You liked him like and that's true he was being disgusting on the boat and he was snapping at them and being totally aggressive and gross on the boat and being like you better pipe down how dare you talk to me but they were

already invited at that point and then she's like won't come over because she wanted to be laid you got the sequence wrong though she invited them over to the house when they were still at the restaurant she didn't know he was cuck to the house when they were still at the restaurant. She didn't know he was Cuckoo. They were already heading to the house on the boat. I don't think that she should be faulted for inviting him over. I mean, like, you can't, like, that's sort of like blaming the victim in a certain way. Like, oh, she should have known.

She should have known not to get involved with that. Like, she had no idea. She just thought it was like this young cute guy the boat letting him get off the boat after he's already talked to you like that and come into the house kind of i do well i think i mean the victim is kenya so of course i blamed the victim well no but i think that on the boat like he was i i don't he was definitely like out of line but i don't think at that point I still don't think it was a case like security. But what's crazy is that like he I mean, he did get really aggressive. Obviously, we saw. And it was funny how the women were like, you didn't seem that aggressive.

And Sheree was like, was like, are you kidding me? I did not think that was aggressive. I was like Sheree. But to be fair, Sheree is like a tank. Sheree is so jacked that she probably thinks isis is not aggressive she's like that's not aggressive i like that they keep changing their name but it was crazy that they were all like almost across the board they were like yeah he didn't seem aggressive well they were i think they were trying to stick to their original guns.

Because most of them didn't see what happened. Because Candy was sitting over there. Who was Candy sitting with? Kim Fields? Who was she sitting with? Well, originally it was like Kim and Cynthia. No, the original thing where he came over and was aggressive with her. Wasn't she just sitting with one person?

I thought it was like Kim or something. I thought it was just Kim, yeah. And then I thought Cynthia came and sat with them at one either way so he got aggressive and candy was already like oh fuck this this guy's totally aggressive so then kim i feel like kim didn't see a lot of the other stuff so when it the shit really hit the fan i mean kim was in the second living room trying to facetime sebastian like she didn't see some of it and so she made an ass out of herself the first time sticking up for the kid, even though he was totally in the wrong.

But I think that she honestly thought Kenya was trying to start shit because Kenya does always start shit. And it's not necessarily blaming the victim. It's stop crying wolf, bitch, because one day you're going to cry wolf and no one is going to be there because you do it all the time. Yeah, I think that i i mean i think we all agree that once it was shown that this guy was a real problem that kenya should have just let security handle it she should not have walked up and said anything more but i think

there's a difference between saying that's not a smart thing to do versus saying like oh well kenya this is all your fault which is really what the women were doing. And it's like, no, it's the guy's fault. What they were saying ultimately is that his aggression aside, it's another instance where Kenya is fanning the fire. She's seeing something and she's going for it to be,

you know, to get attention and to get camera time. And, you know, you're poking a tiger and then you start crying when the tiger tries to, you know, snatch your weave off. Like, stop stop poking the tiger how many children have you smiled about when you've read the news and been like some 13 year old shot a lion with the bb gun and jumped over the fence to get it back and the lion ate him and we're like yay kill the fucker but that but that being said though it'd be one thing if it was just like you you know, Kenya, like you're a fan. You're always fan of the flames. But the way that the conversation seemed to play out on the episode and also during this reunion was it's they almost seem to be giving the guy a pass.

Yes. Like, hey, it's just in his nature. And Kenya, like, what the fuck are you doing? It should have been like, you know what? This guy this guy was a real asshole. And Kenya, you should know, like you know what this guy this guy was a real asshole and kenya you should know like you should be careful you can't you shouldn't be you should you should just let security handle it it shouldn't be like why did you do that like it just it felt like they were coming they were angrier at kenya than they were at the guy you know and if you were

asking they'd be like well of course we don't condone what the guy did but they were they they don't want a situation where they're too they don't want to get in trouble in their own community by dissing the black male and saying the black male is overly aggressive because it makes them sound like as phedra said like a white suburban lady who's always afraid of every black male that's coming down the thing and then when andy's like well what does that mean when you say a suburban white lady like a lot of suburban white ladies got pissed when you said that. And she's like, well, like Kenya. But I get what they're saying because that pressure goes both ways. It's not only, you know, like white people, like your suburban white lady.

She's not going to say I felt because that that angry young man was coming at me because people here i felt insecure because that black man was coming at me and then it turns into this different thing where this was not racial this was an overly aggressive person but everybody's making everything racial all the time now that's all we fucking talk about and i'm glad it's not just white people i I mean, at least it's everybody. And so they're about to get into that with Tomac. Yeah, they're already feeling that. Well, you'll be surprised at my thoughts on that.

Don't worry. I'm not even I actually. Yeah, I I'm actually really excited for this conversation. I don't think we're going to have like our typical like annoying. Yeah, I don't think so. But they're everybody's trying to make it about race when it's not about race. It's an angry man. He shouldn't have fucking been there. Then he treated people like shit, and the women are still sticking up for him out of some kind of community pride or something when it has nothing to do with that.

And just one last thing, and I'll shut up. Sharae is full of shit. Sharae is saying, can you believe he's not aggressive? And then the last thing, Kenya's like, what if I hadn't have kicked him out and he would have done something? And Sheree goes, and he would have. You see? That's the point, lady. Yeah.

You know, the thing that I was going to say about – I don't remember what I was going to say. It was something about you know race or whatever oh you know what it was that um this because this thing where fate you know they didn't want didn't want to label him as a dangerous young black man because white you know white women in suburbia are already afraid of black black man and they didn't want to just like give another reason for them to be afraid of it but actually by not doing anything, I feel like racist white ladies in suburbia would be more apt to think that young black men are dangerous because they look at it and they see,

well, look, see there. Young black men can be aggressive and they can get away with it because that's what the culture condones. And you've got to love Kenya telling Phaedra straight up when she's like oh please stop acting like that's normal behavior if your kids ever did that like if your kids ever spoke to a woman like that you know they'd be fucking black and blue get out of here and it's exactly right absolutely and you know what candy at the end candy just laid it out perfectly

she and like perfectly she was just like listen we all know kenya's crazy as fuck she does some crazy hash it she is just i mean she's like a mentally deranged woman she is bonkers and kenya's like nodding like yes i am i mean her mom doesn't thank you candy thank you doesn't accept her but that doesn't give him that doesn't like but like that doesn't like give this guy the right to mouth off, made me feel uncomfortable, made her feel uncomfortable, and that should be enough. And he was violent and throwing up gang signs. He's coming at her. It's totally inappropriate.

And then everyone's sort of quiet. And then Candy goes, why are y'all biting your tongue now? Then the episode just ends. So this show is so dark. I mean, it was, maybe I was just in a weird mood when I watched it, but I was like, everything. This is the light, one of, to me, it's usually one of the lightest hearted Housewives show. I usually just laugh my ass off at this show, but this season, there has been a lot of dark shit. Jesus, child abandonment, dad in prison a fucking marriage that never should have been they're miserable candy's still trying to

make it work with mid you know midget fucking cottonelle shirt over there todd oh but i do like i do like next week that todd says get out of here i know when he said that i was like ronnie i know i'm trying to stop saying it so much but todd thank you thank you for the shout yeah um yeah it was interesting reunion i i don't think i was as emotionally um uh like not invested but like uh well we stirred up stirred up the way the way uh you were because you you would text me you were like oh my god this reunion you're like i'm like almost crying i was like oh my god there were just parts to me that were so fucking sad i mean that kenya mom thing i get it that's like i i hate i

hate like feeling things on these stupid shows because i know they're cartoons but that did make me fucking sad for ken oh yeah but then ken Kenya makes me hate her again in two seconds. And then I felt bad for Phaedra's kids, even though this probably all went how it was planned. But then just all the emotions that we felt over the whole season. I mean, look, I always feel emotional, but I went off this season on this show. I mean, we've had some yelling, you you know full-on three-hour podcasts about this fucking show it's a lot's gone on and so i'm just it's almost traumatized i i feel that trauma again watching all the clips again i'm like oh don't lose it bringing on the trauma oh but just to end

this section the the recent news, aside from Kim being out of here, which no one's surprised by, is that, of course, NeNe will be back next year, and supposedly... It's like two and a half million? Two and a half million damn dollars. Wow. Yeah, I don't know if it's worth it.

That's 2.25 ThinkThinBar, so you can read that ThinkThinBar. I'm going to.25 think thin bar. So you can read that think thin bar. I'm going to see you in five. All right. Welcome back. P is done. Now let's get on to the real housewives of P. Shall we?

Yes, please. Let's do it. So this is your friends you're friends with me the word on the street is it I went pee make as much sense as these damn taglines

Robin and Giselle go to lunch okay this show is so low rent I love everywhere they eat is like a grilled cheese kind of a restaurant. Every place. It's like the grill at the pool. I know. And yet I'm always jealous because I'm like, ooh, I want a grilled cheese by the pool with club sauce.

Yeah, this is one show that is not insisting on salmon salad everywhere they go. Yeah. I like that when the waiter showed up at their lunch the waiter looked absolutely terrified you know how you're always talking about how waiters look like they're about to audition including the restaurant manager later in the episode this guy was like the plates were just like trembling he was at like a one-man earthquake here's your grilled cheese ma'am the bag boy at the simpsons like here here's your club sandwich ma'am and the potato chips oh no i got the potato chips on you i'm sorry ma'am uh word on the street word on the

street is i've got grilled cheese on my sheets doesn't even make sense i'm sorry late caffeination robin you gotta give robin credit for at least ordering like a better housewives show she's like i'll order the tuna tartare and then giselle got double eggs why am i writing this shit down because that's how this show rolls i'm like yeah i wrote because of course i wrote i wrote waiter notes too i was like oh a non-auditioning waiter who's having trouble with tea. See? We both noticed it. They're not auditioning where they're having trouble with. Meanwhile, they're totally ordering from, like, the pump menu, Deviled Eggs, Duna Tartar.

This is like, straight up Chef Penny Classic 1987. Pina Blanca. Sticky toast. That's back where it still makes sense. Yeah, terrified. Yeah is this is a scary opening we're still talking about the deviled eggs yeah um their toast was who's toast to new beginnings and i just wrote yeah good luck with that because giselle will never let anything go forward ever so i'm surprised that charise didn't come bursting through the bushes be like did someone say a new

chapter because i'm starting a new chapter everything in Charisse's life is a new freaking chapter her book must be like a thousand pages long because there are so many chapters in this freaking story there's just numbers it's like one chapter two and then chapter three hold wait for it chapter four it's one of those really crappy books that has like those chapters that are like a page and a half long which are actually my favorite kind of books because you feel like you're making so much progress you're like oh look at that it's always all these like half pages full of blank space it's like it's not a new chapter it's a new chapstick okay it doesn't get a new page just tell us about your goddamn chapstick so new beginnings giselle is now getting into other people's marriages because

she still has none of her own to talk about publicly so she's still in everybody else's business went to see juan and started asking her all these her sorry i didn't do that on purpose starts asking him all these questions uh about marriage. And he said, my drill business. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, yeah, Robin's great. And she's like, but don't you see you and Robin together forever? He's like, yeah, Robin's wonderful. How about this softball game?

Right. I kind of I do feel bad for Robin because she obviously is in love with him, but she's been wounded. And and, you know, that's, it sucks. It's, it sucks that he, he cheated on her and, but she should, she should move on. I really don't like either, either forgive him and move back with him and just like tell all the haters, Hey, like whatever. I mean, if you're, if she's willing to say to people, listen, like we have an unorthodox relationship and set up right now.

So like mind your own business she should also be willing to say hey yeah he cheated on me but i love him so whatever mind your own business my feeling is and obviously this is no basis in reality but just based on what she's said on the show i think that what's happened was he was cheating i don't think it was like one cheat i think he was like cheating a lot she was gonna with Fonzie he was cheating with Ruth Madoff and she was gonna

divorce him and leave him but then they stay together for the kids and now she's made this relationship with him where they're not married but they're just best friends who sleep in the same bed and they can do whatever they want because she said multiple times on this show like i could date so she's leaving the door open so that's why it makes me feel worse for her because she's not even putting her foot down she like she thinks that standing up for herself means

that she won't say she's married it's basically he can go fuck whoever he wants to come home smelling like some rank ass pussy and get back into bed with her and she can't say anything about it i mean it's just so pathetic and then she says well you know the question about one the question i ask myself do i want to open my heart back up no basically you're saying am i gonna stay with some man who's blatantly going to cheat right in front of my face? Yes or no? Yes. The answer is yes. You're already doing it.

She doesn't want to get hurt. She doesn't want to get hurt again, but she's still in love with him, which is why she's not, you know, finding someone else. So then we go over to K-Zell. She's like, I wouldn't remarry the same man. Well, considering the fact that yours is a preacher who cheated with half the town yeah shut up giselle hey what's wrong with hey what's wrong with her saying because giselle acting like she's so high and mighty when she's like fucking three guys i don't like giselle's high and mighty attitude with anything it bothers me that she's talking about someone else's marriage

when her marriage ended the same way and her way of sticking up is just like taking the money she still goes out and hangs out with that guy she's got a similar thing as robin yeah but they're not living they're not sleeping in the same bed they have a they have a cordial relationship but she's moved on to do her own her own life and she's single and she's allowed to sleep with three guys if she wants that That's fine. She is. I'm slut shaming, but not because she's a slut. I'm Giselle shaming. I'm a hater. Yeah, basically Giselle has nothing.

I'm admitting it. Yes. I'm admitting it. There's nothing. Usually I'll try and find a good and a bad in somebody. Giselle, I've tried. I can't. She's terrible.

I don't think you've ever tried with Giselle. I think you've just always. She's rubbed you the wrong way. Yeah, I hate her. Which is fine. I hate her. Which is fine. She's rubbed me the right way. Yeah, I hate her. Which is fine. I hate her. She's rubbed me the right way. Yeah.

I like Giselle. As everyone knows. I love you and I love that we can disagree and still not have to sleep together at night. That's the kind of marriage that works. Damn it. Well, it's nice that we can have different views on Giselle and not be like, you know, angry at each other. No one has a problem with jizz it's just too much jizz in your face am i right guys so anyway uh speaking of jizz faces uh no that's like a terrible

transition and it was like unnecessarily nasty um katie was gardening you know sometimes you just see like an easy joke and you just go for it even if it makes no sense she does not have a jizz face she actually has like a beautiful beautiful face that's not covered in jizz she is literally an easy joke katie she is she's an easy joke but she's gardening um and then her friend t comes over and katie starts basically making fun of karen's uh fundraiser her karen's gala the o gala and poor kara was just hoping oprah would get involved you can't just call things oh she's like oh's book club no no it's still just a book club in your backyard okay yeah and i like how katie is saying how her friend t she's like t has helped me with like so many fundraisers and

philanthropic events i'm like or maybe she meant to say like she's helped me with like thinking about fundraising some philanthropic events because we've never actually seen the Ross Foundation do anything at all I mean as bad as Karen's was at least Karen's came to fruition okay like at least there were people there there was an event there was a even a little jazz band okay Katie literally hasn't shown nothing yeah at least Karen least Karen had those little, you know, what are they called? Those things, I was getting catering for years, but those metal trays with water in them

and then there's like a little sterno underneath. What are they called? Yes. Oh, I'm such an idiot. I want to say a carafe, but it's not a carafe. It's a chaffer. That's what I almost said. Chaffer, yes, a chaffer.

It's also a great, great way to describe Karen. A chafer? Oh my God, you know those inner thighs hurt. If these women could be buffet equipment, Karen would be a chafer, and everyone else, we'd just fill in the blanks. But that being said, as much as making fun of Katie not getting something off the ground, Karen's Mint was bullshit for a gala. That was ridiculous. It was. And I'm really admiring Katie's lease on the bitch life.

She's just like, fuck it. If these women are going to be mean, I'm going to go. She's like, that lady called it a gala. It was like a po-dunk barbecue. It was disgusting. I mean, I don't call a gala. It was like a po-dunk barbecue. It was disgusting. I mean, I don't call a gala congealed meatballs, okay? Like, she had a list of horrible things to say, and I was laughing so hard. I agree.

I like the Regina George side of Katie, and I wish she had shown it earlier rather than the sort of, like, ditzy, socialite, sort of sad, pretty girl. She still is that girl too though she's legit that girl because she was saying yeah i don't know how it's going with andrew because her friend t is like so how does andrew like his insta family because basically she started dating some dude and immediately moved in with him and uh also i think that probably happened like a week before this started or something because k uh because t is like, so how's the weirdo that you're living with for free? But she said something that made me so not sad for her, and it should have. But she goes, yeah, you know, I think he's ready.

I think he's finally ready for marriage because he's playing golf a lot more. And, you know me married men play golf all the time oh no yeah you ever see that movie broke back mountain when they would go on like little golf trips together um broke the ninth hole yeah mountain broke back broke back broke bag about damn track it's just like a golf bag where the balls keep falling out. They're like, damn it, this broke bag. Katie, just look at it. If he starts calling you a mulligan, then you should start to reconsider your future.

Mulligan. So this was intercut with Karen and her husband in the garage packing. This is Karen. They're going through Raven's things before she goes to college because it's the obligatory, my child is leaving the nest except you had your child when you were 60 or something.

But they're going through her stuff and they're looking at her training wheels literally holding up her training wheels and Ray's like, isn't this sad? And Karen's like like this is so sad i'm gonna have a cookout what about the empty nest ray what about the empty nest what are you gonna do to me now now that we're all alone we can run around nude now oh i hope aunt dot is not watching this show god aunt dot is probably not watching anything in her house nude ever.

I can guarantee you that. Yeah. And I like how also Karen took this time to pat herself on the back for throwing an excellent gala. Well, the reviews are in. I wrote one for our gala. I framed it incorrectly in this picture frame. It's hanging over our tube TV. People love the meatballs.

The sterno stayed lit the entire night. The penny saver said it was the best gala of 2016. We owe the penny saver $50, Ray. Did you write that check? Ray, did you write the check, Ray? Oh, I can't deal with this, Ray. So then we go back to katie and katie is still she's just like she is just going after everyone so now this must have made you happy because she

started going in on giselle and she's like you know giselle is a genuinely spiritual person and she's got a good heart i think she just dresses like a prostitute sometimes it's just bitchy but you know other than that she's a totally lovely person. It's like, look at you, Katie. Good for you getting your getting your grown housewife pants on and going after people in bitchy ways. Good for you. She's such a hypocrite. Her charity doesn't even exist. And there was no one in attendance, at least no one that I know. And I go to three galas a week.

Bitch, you go to three galas a week with some Tupperware tucked in your purse to get shit to eat. Just because you buy gala apples does not mean you go to galas. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly.

There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a

villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's industry's Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or beaten world.

Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where

power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then Ashley, then we have Ashley picking up her mom in a Porsche. Her

mom is like bankrupt and she's showing up in the Porsche and we had this whole sequence of Ashley's mom being scared by the hybrid car because every time they come to a stop you know the car would shut off and the mom was like oh the car cut off again the car cut off again get me out of this car it is cutting off it's because of conservation mom like the car like you it goes real fast and then it stops because gas mom's like uh this cut off again i'm gonna die get me out of this car hey speaking of horrifying things i have to mention that this intercut scene ended with karen going ray what are we gonna do we've got the house all to ourselves i could use a repeat

of this morning again and again and again guys cut it off already editors jesus i missed that entirely thank god god okay yeah so then they go to lunch at the cracker barrel yeah and ashley is so good-hearted that she just wants to help her mom who's going through a bankruptcy by giving her a house on tv and why are you dressed like a quinceanera when you're at the Cracker Barrel? I know. Getting the crab cake platter. Yeah, but it was still nice. You know, I feel bad for that. First of all, the mom looks like she is younger than we are.

And second of all, I felt bad. You know, that mom, she probably did not want to be shown on TV having her daughter get basically getting her out of bankruptcy but um i don't like when they do stuff like that on tv it makes me embarrassed for the mom and then ashley saying well i'm a successful i'm a good role model of kids because i'm a successful ambitious black woman i was like wait a a second. You did a really old person for his, like, you legit did an old person for restaurants. That's not really the same lady. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what I was going to say.

I was like, I'm not sure, like, you hosting a whiskey tasting is evidence that you are a successful black woman. And her mom was like, yeah, but yeah but i just you know it's shameful for a mother to take a home from their daughter i mean i want to have some pride she's like you don't need to have pride with me yes but i don't want your reality star there's no pride left i don't want to be your burden though honey you honey. You're not. You're Michael's burden. That's why you fuck him. As they say, a bird in the hand is worse than two in the bush. A bird in the hand is gross. Two birds in the hand can get the whole estate once he's dead.

Just like I taught you. So meanwhile, over in Sharice land, Sharice is getting her makeup done and she is announcing, I'm grabbing life by the balls. Like, yes, grabbing life by the balls and getting your makeup done. Wow. Like, how many times have you gotten your makeup done this season and how many times have you used it as evidence of you grabbing life by the balls slash new chapter? Jesus. Hey, Sharice, I know we're not really really close friends but let me give you some advice your husband isn't texting you back because he keeps getting bills for fifty thousand dollars for makeup artists with the memo that says new chapter eighty thousand dollars chapter 36

he's like god damn it when's my wife gonna be done with a stupid book he's like god damn it when's my wife gonna be done with this stupid book i'm opening a new chapter it's called liquid eyeliner so katie comes over to give uh some model tips for this because she charise is doing a photo shoot because she wants there to be a slideshow of herself at her 50th birthday um because that's what everyone wants to see listen bitch no one wanted to see your trip to Italy and no one wants to see your trip around your broke down house with your makeup getting done by some new intern every day. Exactly. So then Katie's there and they're like at one point, Katie, Katie says, like, she says, look, I am like five times this episode. But at one point she goes, look, I am.

And then she's like, look, what? Look, what? What is that? What is and then she was like what what what what what i was like new chapter new jewish chapter today i'm starting a new chapter i'm learning how to say and then katie just had to move her dogs gucci and prada around oh jesus i hate that you know who was you know whose other mothers i really hate and i've never been able to help myself gucci and prada's mother i mean those are the most arrogant names i've ever heard in my life hey yeah yeah and then katie teaching her how to model by just standing in front of her and looking hot and she's like she's modeling like she would model and poor

charisse is like, these shoes hurt. Okay, call somebody else to get this makeup off and let's open a new chapter with a new makeup artist. New shoes, new chapter. By the way, this is at this point when Katie said that she was about the party. She says she's going to embarrass herself with her white girl moves, which I'm only mentioning for later on. So then she goes, if you want eyes that that pop you have to think about math like me i think seven plus seven i mean that's scary in her eyes pop open oh lord and by the way i loved how sharice was posing at the staircase this is like perfect no one's going upstairs the you know the the shoe was supposed to happen at the top of the staircase, but she's like, no. I'm going to stand by the bathroom.

It may be a new chapter, but still no one's going upstairs. I'm on the second step, a step no one else gets to come up. New chapter. I just want everyone to remember that these are my stairs, and no one's going up them unless they're named Sharice. We're on the street if no one's going up my stairs, okay? Chapter seven. we're on the street if no one's going up my stairs okay chapter seven uh so then uh favorite part of the episode because you know who showed up a terrified fawn a fawn running the fuck away the fawn was like oh hell no i'm getting out of here

the fawn was like oh my god when will I grow up so they'll stop taking photos of me? I'm so sick of being on this show. Go away, white spots. Is there no one on the golf course today? Get your B-roll in order, editors. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously, where's my mom?

Where's my mom? Oh, poor Bambi. Yeah, where is that Fawn's mom we only see the fawn normally the fawn's walking around by its mom by michael or something did it's dead spoiler alert for those of you who haven't seen bambi oh that's right i made an inadvertent bambi reference by saying where's my mom i was literally meaning like isn't there like a doe? Shouldn't there be a doe around? So, fawn. The fawn is terrified, which means we're at Karen's house. Because who else terrifies even animals, Karen?

For the raven party. Where things are getting DEFCON 5 because someone forgot to pick up the balloons. This is so good. Ray is standing outside by the grill. Which I think is where every man i think men grill so much because it's the only place they can get some fucking peace and quiet this poor guy is like just standing out at the grill or golf yeah i don't think there's anything even in this grill because she's like ray the balloon people called and the balloons weren't picked up on time like the balloon

the balloon place has this really busy schedule they're like get these balloons out of here lady well karen probably ordered like 500 balloons they've got like they've got like the house of up sitting there in the party place they're like can we get this house out of here it's about to fly away and destroy our ceiling the house pick up your house ray's all depressed in the house flying around with a little kid he's like i lost my wife ray's like i dropped a vhs in my inside the grill trying to get it out we're gonna play it on our combination tube tv vhs player i love in the real housewives of up that karen never even died she just bought too many balloons, so her house flew away and Ray misses her.

The end. She's that crazy bird that's up there. He's grilling. She's like, oh, balloons, Ray. God, Ray, go get the balloons. And he's like, okay. And then he just walks away from the grill to get the balloons. I'm like, wait a second.

Are there hamburgers in there? What's happening? You got a hamburger? You got a hamburger? You got a hamburger? Sharae shows up. She's like, I hear there's hamburgers up here. What on African hamburger? That's not aggressive.

So then Wanda, the bartender, arrives. And Karen did not realize that there'd be a bartender showing up. Karen, wait. You are a bartender? A bartender, you say? say well did you order a bar who ordered a bart i didn't order a bartender did my husband order a bartender she's like i guess you see what i have to put up with she tells ray's friend she's like you see ray's Ray's cousin. I must go to my room. I need some alone time. Like, she goes in and slams the door of her room. And then Karen's like, I look like an idiot because I have a bartender shop.

I'm like, oh, that's what makes you look like an idiot? That's what it is? I'm sorry. I didn't realize. What kind of hostess of an old gala has bartenders that haven't been properly vetted? And old Gala has bartenders that haven't been properly vetted. You know, here I was thinking I looked like a sophisticated lady in my blue Mylar dress. And then a bartender shows up that I'm not expecting.

And everything goes out the window. And I love that the bartender was like 70 and gave no fuck. She's like, I guess. Where do you want me to stand, lady? I need to think about it in the bedroom. I was recommended by the crab chefs of delaware um bethany beach oh god i wish they were the caterers for everything here's a tortilla with some jelly on it and some fresh turkey squattle so then there was but then then eventually got to the cook i mean i mean there was like this moment where ray comes back and she's like it's just that you know raven's leaving

and it's the last one and she starts crying you know that's fine it's so good this is why she's still married this this is why this marriage works because of ray because every drama queen i need a ray i just can't find one every drama queen needs a ray because she's like ray you know how i feel i can't look like an idiot when i don't know about a bartender ray's like well honey i'm so sorry about that but maybe we shouldn't sweat the small stuff small stuff there's a bartender here he's like well darling i know but let's not worry about the little things okay ray thank you but i still need five minutes alone he's like okay i'll be standing at the empty grill for another 20 minutes just ding when you need me i was expecting him to say honey just let's not let's not sweat the small stuff like you know there are bigger things let's just not

sweat the small stuff by the way i accidentally let things let's just not sweat the small stuff by the way i accidentally let all the balloons up into the sky so let's not let's just let's not worry about those they're bigger things the balloons are all gone so okay the bartender won't be a problem i asked her to hold the balloons and she's flown up into the sky and it's probably dead now uh they've been tracking her i think she's somewhere over wisconsin now the wanda doppler radar anderson cooper's on the case turns out wanda's just in the garage it's a hoax and then she throws up on the today show she's so nervous about it

poor wanda she had an entire life and career in like five minutes so anyway then there's the cookout's nice there's nothing i thought it was like everyone Poor Wanda. She had an entire life and career in like five minutes. So anyway, then there's the cookout. The cookout's nice. There's nothing. I thought it was like everyone gave nice speeches. I wrote low rent. I just wrote low rent barbecue. It was like a normal barbecue.

I thought it was really actually lovely. This is Housewives. I don't want people grilling hamburgers. What the hell kind of Housewives show is this? That bartender should have been stripping it. We're the aerialists. Hitting people in the face with a dick. Yeah.

And Karen has a cute son. And Aunt Dot was there. And Karen started crying. All that fun stuff. Aunt Dot's speech was so nice. She's like, Now, Karen, I felt so bad for Karen when her first child left. She was pitiful to watch.

She would cry. Have you seen her left, she was pitiful to watch. She would cry and look, oh, have you seen her face when she cries? She's ugly. She doesn't even know how to make tea when she's got kids in the house. Imagine my mouth with those kids gone. Warm. My mouth is going to be warm. It's like, Jesus, Aunt Dot, sit down.

I know. She's so rude. She only really said one sentence, but it was like, man, she was pathetic when the first kid left. I was like, okay, Dot, thanks for coming. All right, you can sit on down, and here's a balloon. Enjoy it, because the rest have gone away. Thanks, Wanda. I felt things, though, when Karen cried, if that makes you feel any better. I thought it was really sad because it was genuine.

And that's like a real thing. You know, it's sad. Like your kids moving out. She was legit crying. She would not cry like that on purpose. She wouldn't do ugly cry on purpose. That was real crying. And so I can always feel for someone when they really feel things because that's so rare on a Housewives show.

But she was really feeling and I stopped and then I was like, stop feeling things hitler stubbed a toe or two as well what the hell so rude it was all it was all emotional until she said as long as we're getting balloons there better be some eye candy with it too if you're gonna attend, I'm going to need some eye candy on the side. That is my preference. So then Giselle sits down with her daughters to talk to her about – she's like she wants to break the news to them that she's been dating. And she's like, so – but they're like, are you on Match? Are you on Match or Harmony, whatever? They're like, please on match are you on match or any harmony whatever they're like please just get a boyfriend get out of this house please mom we've signed you up on

please get our whore mother out of the house before she makes us crazy you've got five dings yeah um and then we go to sharice who um oh no sharice shows up at the house and so then they're talking about giselle and she's talking about the 50th birthday and sharice is like well i don't know if eddie's throwing up but it's gonna cost eighty thousand dollars so at first i wanted to be like like what you said earlier you know do you realize this is probably why he hates you because you're spending his money but then i was like no she's just doing blue cantrell right now and i can't hate her for that you know she's doing the hit him up style well if you're gonna be a bad husband i'm gonna spend all your money so you know what sharice i back it up spend all of his money go for it well i it's just that she's spending it on shit

like makeup people every day and giant cakes instead of putting it in the wells fargs yeah i mean girl you need to have karen's backyard barbecue thing with some hot dogs that you know raise in charge of and then you tell your husband it costs eighty thousand dollars what are you stupid yeah exactly yes that's you're very smart ronnie i know how to rob a fucker oh and then giselle because all she has to offer on this show is starting shit with other people so she's's like, hey, Charisse, so what about your husband? Still not coming? Okay, good talk.

So Robin goes, well, you know, I thought Giselle was right. So I decided to have a date with Juan because we don't spend enough time together. So now it's not even Cracker Barrel. What's, like, lower than the Cracker Barrel? This is like Soup Plantation. because we don't spend enough time together so now it's not even cracker bell what's like lower than the cracker barrel this is this is like soup plantation yeah this is soup plantation and robin of course has to wait for him and she looks i mean kind of cute i guess like you know cotton i think robin always looks cute to be honest um i think what what what i was amused at was how robin sits down the hostess comes by like

oh hi robin how are you and then when juan came in the hostess is like hi juan and you can see the hostess wants to sleep with juan so badly she is giving him this look she's they probably already have actually i shouldn't even be saying she wants to she like clearly there was something going on he's like yeah just sit on my face. Okay, well, thanks for coming by. Oh, gosh, okay. Well, thanks for doing it respectfully, I guess, Juan. But Juan walks in in sweatshorts.

This is the saddest date I've ever seen in my life. He's, like, wearing a T-shirt and sweatshorts. She's like, well, thanks for meeting me. And he's like, thanks for inviting me. Darn, darn, tear. What kind. And he's like, thanks for inviting me. Tear. What kind of date is this? This is so depressing. He's like, yeah, I'm going to be staying in Maryland.

Still don't have a job. And anyway, you got lunch, right? Yeah, totally. She's like, this is great. It was great spending time with Juan. Yeah, it was great. Great date. great it was great spending time with one yeah it was great great day so now let's watch sharice's third hair and makeup person for the episode i know again that's what i wrote down i was like

i wrote down sharice's birthday doing harry and i was like what's harry and i realized the typo for hair of course because she's doing her hair for the umpteenth of new chapter the new i'm calling this chapter curls in the front but a little flat in the back chapter 58 epilogue chapter 59 lug the curling iron chapter 65 um so i didn't really have anything to say except that yeah well she okay yes no i wrote the same thing i was i can't believe she's doing her hair again. So she has her birthday party at – it's like the Carnegie or Carnegie Library or something like that. It was like a nice building.

And someone actually showed up in shorts. I was like, was that Juan? Juan? But it wasn't Juan. But someone showed up. I was like, who shows up in shorts? This was actually a nice party. And as Katie mentioned and I agreed with, this is actually – this is what a gala should look like.

But it wasn't a gala. But then, of course, I like that Katie, you can never really root for her because she's such an asshole too. She's like, Karen should take notes because this is actually nice. And then they see the giant cake that she's bought herself. And she's like, oh, my God. That's like a wedding cake. I want a wedding. And Sharice is like, yeah, you see my god that's like a wedding cake i want a wedding and sharice is like yeah you see andrew she wants a wedding and he goes yeah well i don't so i want a wedding

like way later so maybe we'll meet in the middle somehow yeah poor women on this show yeah i know exactly also by the way katie's such a social climber she's like sharice really knows how to throw a party i guess we're hanging out with sharice more i'm like you're so shallow but she's got a budget we should i should hang out with her more yeah but at the same time i mean it is always a good idea to hang out with people to throw good parties because it's good parties right um so that but also by the way sharice has the slideshow that she was taking pictures for it is like enormous this this is literally like hitler it's like going to like some fascist like rally where there was a giant photo of her like over the buffet i was like lady you gotta calm down i know it's your party i know you're turning 50 and you're 50

50 if only all hitler wanted was for people that he didn't know to come upstairs while he was getting his makeup done i really got in trouble for calling her hitler but she's not she's not hitler she just has propaganda like hitler um well they do have they do go after the jew in this episode so it's actually kind of fitting what are you moaning get out of here with your moan me moaning yeah you're right oh no i wasn't moaning i wasn't moaning i was like i was going like oh right don't project your moan insecurity on me supportive moan oh i thought you were giving your jewish moan like oh no no no jewish moan um but uh speaking of which uh katie though katie is like as long as Giselle stays in her corner and leaves me alone, everything will be fine. Well, congratulations.

You just jinxed it. Like, there's no better way to ensure a fight than by saying, well, as long as she stays where she is and I stay where I am, we'll be fine. It's like, OK, well, you guys are going to fight. Yeah. Who stays there at a party? Like, she better stay right by that cake or it's over. Are they just going to circle each other like West Side Story? Karen's arrival was so funny.

She's like, wow, what a lovely party. Look at this party. I love the fabulous flowers. Like she's reviewing everything as she comes in. But where are the balloons? Where's Wanda? All this party needs is an empty grill and a man who forgets to pick things up from stores. Am I right, ladies?

Now, tell me, Charissa, I don't see a giant tube TV. How are you going to show your slideshow? Ray is all the way at the bar. How am I supposed to call him without a landline? Now, did you fax your menu to the caterers? How do they know all this? Now, who concealed your meatballs your menu to the caterers? How do they know all this? Now, who concealed your meatballs? Tell me the truth.

So Ashley is over to the... Okay, now this is where this episode gets hilarious. This party is so funny. Ashley's off to the side, and everyone's shunning her because Karen. Like, they all listen to karen no one's karen's the only one who's really shutting her because ashley's like hi karen and karen's like hello and then just turns her back and walks away like blanche in the opening credits of the golden girls she could use a caftan actually actually. Yeah. Well, I like how Karen's like, I am not ready to talk. I'm like, it's like how?

Nothing happened. It was a misunderstanding. You already told her. We saw how she acted with balloons. I mean, it took her 20 minutes of sitting solitarily in her room to get over that. She still can't look at blimps. She's like, good year. It's a terrible year. there was a bag flowing around

outside in the wind and it just made me angry all over again ray now i still cannot watch the first five minutes of american beauty and when i fast forward it just makes the bag look like it's going faster so ashley asks robin and jizz So Ashley asks Robin and she is, Why am I the bad guy? And they're kind of shading her. So Giselle was like, Well, did you lie? Like, what did Karen say? Did she say she doesn't want her kids to be around us? Or did she say she doesn't want them to be around you?

She's like, Well, I don't know. I mean, I thought it was us. But then later I thought about it and I just don't know. Because, like, I went into my bank and I thought about it. I do think it was a misunderstanding. I think it was a genuinely

honest mistake. I mean, it was a stupid mistake. I mean, the whole thing was stupid. The fact that she even brought it up, that she took it so personally, I mean, it's I think, as I said in the previous episodes, I think that Karen was totally justified in saying I don't want to hang out with you because you're too close in age and like no. I don't think she even said that. Didn't she just say I don't want my kids on TV? Like my kids aren't going to be – I don't remember what she said, but it wasn't even mean.

Yeah, it was not mean at all. It was just like no, no, I don't want that. You're my friend, et cetera. I think that's totally fine. But of course that's not the fight anyway. I mean, it's the fight, but the fight is that she dismissed Karen and didn't kiss her ass when Karen was bossing her around. And that's it. She's done.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. So then – and then – so Giselle tries to run interference to see if they can patch this up. Right. And Giselle says, that was like brokering a deal in the Middle East. Yeah, exactly. We're like, hey, Middle East, why don't you stop your fighting? But if you keep fighting, give us a billion dollars for all of these tanks that we made. Yeah, Gis, that is how we broker deals in the Middle East.

Why do you think nothing's ever fixed over there? Broker as Halliburton. Wait a second. wait a second wait a second you can't be mad at giselle for saying it was like making a joke about like harder than broken peace in the middle east when we were just sitting here comparing charise to a nazi rally okay we are not giselle do you understand my i've picked a person everyone's my hatred on to everyone's allowed to make exaggerated metaphors. Everyone's allowed to have some hyperbole. Yeah, it's like Saudi Arabia brokering a deal between Iran and anybody else. Like, get out.

It's all the same thing. She's not trying to broker anything. She's just throwing shit on the fire as usual. Well, Karen, of course, is. She's like, I'm not ready to talk. Not here. Not now. Not ever. And so then – but then Ashley suddenly gets a stick up her ass.

She's like, I'm not steering clear of shit. And so she decides to walk on over and she's going to clear it up with Karen. She's like, why is there hassle? Why is there hassle between us? And I love that. Like Karen just smiles. Her my goes so there isn't there isn't and then waves and walks away like this is what i love karen because she's such a irrational bitch but she does it and i just it cracks me up like saying that there's no hostility and then waving and walking away yeah she's terrible i was gonna say worst, but she's not the worst, but she is terrible.

And she says nonsense. I like when she says her nonsense things. It's kind of typical at this point because she does it all the time. But she goes, now, Ashley, she should be in a zoo somewhere petting animals. Bye, Ashley girl. Go pet a panda. What does that mean? I guess she should be in a zoo. Like she that mean i guess she should be in a zoo like she's an animal she should be in a zoo but why is it she should be in a zoo somewhere petting

something she's projecting she's projecting jealousy over the fact that she could not have a petting zoo at the cookout that's what it is like people only got to pet ray one time each and that is all i will allow one pet one balloon one cocktail and be gone um brené making charisse rap okay before before that though skylar so skylar uh skylar comes out and she gets that's Charisse's daughter. By the way, Charisse's kids are really beautiful. Skylar comes out and gives this really sweet toast. She's like, I couldn't ask for a better mom.

I was imagining her saying, now, am I allowed to come upstairs? Now that I've said you're the best mom ever, can I come upstairs now? Please? Please? She's like, no. That chapter has not happened yet my daughter is amazing but she still hasn't gotten past the invisible rope i have put on stair number two chapter 19 i haven't thought a paint can like home alone to make sure she can

never come upstairs her poor kids have to live downstairs i know um so then yes then bernie introduces trees and trees shree starts to rap she was like shasha is what i'm called oh god i'm the best of all five foot four is my height but i'm bad enough to make you feel all right women hate me but i don't give a fuck i feel they're a man with my magic tux. Wow. I wrote it down. That was a transcription, by the way. Wow. Oh, my God. It cuts to her dad, who looks all bad because she's up there saying the F word.

You got to love the classiness in this town when that's all they talk about. Yeah. Well, to be fair, she did write it when she was 16. But still. To be even more fair, that gives her, what, 34 years to actually improve it. Yeah. Or 34 years to know that she should never sing it again. To realize. So now the booze is flowing.

Wanda is working overtime. Everyone's drunk. And no one is drunker than Ashley's husband, Michael. Oh, so good. Who is dancing on the floor and he squeezes Andrew's butt. So good. So Giselle's like, Michael went on the dance floor. Did he grab Ashley's butt? No.

Did he grab Giselle's butt? No. Did he grab? She goes down the whole list. Yeah. No. He grabbed Andrew's butt. They're actually friends outside this show now.

They go golfing together. And every time they show the guys on the side, it's just them talking. Yeah. So obviously, they're just friends. But now, that said, then Ashley... I know we're going to get to the little fight. But just to say, while we're on this gay thing, because it's stupid. Ashley goes up to confront her and she's like, hey, now, honey.

And he's like, hold on a second. Look how big this man is. Isn't he gigantic? Hey, how often do you work out there, Todd? Why, four hours a day? He literally goes, look how big he is at 6'3". You look out. Looks like it.

I was like, oh my – literally like gay pickup lines. But the funny thing is – so it's funny because the way Giselle was saying it, like he was grabbing another man's ass. There was like this – there was an undercurrent of homophobia in the way she was saying it but that and and i do think it was a joke so i think ashley was right i do think it was a joke but that being said it's still not appropriate to grab someone's ass whether or not you're closeted gay or not whether it's two straight guys it's like you're not really well these are kinky people i mean he married someone 40 years younger than him or some shit. I don't think he's worried about a program.

You know he passes her around like an hors d'oeuvre tray at every party they have. I'm sure they're like swingers and weirdos, and she's getting a house for her mom out of it. So I don't think it's that weird to be squeezing a guy's butt. I didn't think it was the weirdest thing ever. I didn't think it meant that he was automatically – The funny is i didn't think like oh he's gay uh but then when they did cut to him being like you work out looks like it i was like well okay and then there we did that he does love going to drag shows and yeah there's definitely a gay edge to him and i don't even think that people have to choose anymore he probably just likes what he likes, has a cute little wife who lets him do whatever he wants and has fun.

He's rich as fuck. What does he care? I think he just has fun. And then he denied the butt grabs. So I was like, okay, I did not initially think it was gay. But it's sort of like this stuff he did afterwards was like it was definitely a cnc music factory things that make you go hmm yes but i did start lying she's like did you grab his butt no nope but no wouldn't do that well they said they saw you well maybe i accidentally you know petted it

on the way around the bin when i was trying to find that balloon karen lost oh all right well i mean i think it's all obvious i would never grab andrew's butt if i was gonna grab And the bin, when I was trying to find that balloon, Karen lost. Oh, all right. Well, I mean, I think it's all obvious. I would never grab Andrew's butt. If I was going to grab anyone's butt, it would probably be that 6'3 guy. Jacked all the muscles with a butt that looks like it's made out of carbon steel. You know, I think that's the guy I'd grab. You know, get right in that butt.

You know, I bet it feels real good. Maybe go around the front and see what he's working with in the front there. You know, maybe touch around the pecs and feel that and feel some of the washboard abs and do something like that. That's probably what I'd do. It only counts if I get a boner. I just want to see. If I grab this guy's penis, will I get a boner? Let me go give it a try. How about that?

If I've got a dick in my mouth, but my dick's not hard, am I gay? Let me give it a try. Oh, I don't know. You know I hate math. Seven plus seven um so anyway karen's i mean katie's eyeball rolls past so it seems for a moment that this episode is going to go into a big gay tizzy it's going to go into is he or is he not you think that's going to be the crux of this episode but actually it veers into race because robin's when they're like oh my god he just grabbed grabbed andrew's butt robin's like is that a white guy thing yes like uh giselle and ashley both i mean not giselle

and ashley giselle and robin both start this is this a white guy thing because black guys don't do that first of all do not make me laugh because you know and everybody knows that black people have the dl culture so sitting here and acting all homophobic like black guys would never do that yeah bitch don't fuck a dude get out of here they wouldn't even bother with the the ass patty and katie was right katie was like you know black guys who are on football teams smack each other's butts all the time. Well, Katie, this is weird because the race has been coming up now a lot and they've been hinting at bigger, bigger fights. And this looked like it was going to be it. But this is where Katie just goes too soon because she's been mad about it. And now she's turning it into like this big racist fight. And they weren't being mean.

They were just saying, is that a white guy thing is a joke i don't really think that they're like actually white guys are gay well actually robin robin then did clarify like 10 minutes later she's like she's like actually like i'm really hanging out with black people so i just wanted to know is this like a white guy thing like it was like she actually believe it or not according to her she really was curious she really thought maybe this was like just the same way that katie says well black guys pat each other on the ass in the nfl like what is robin was like is this like a thing that white guys do which it still is like i'm not gonna give her a total pass for that but she was i mean i give i give her a pass it's just i do for just that but it's what it turned into because yeah i've been obviously trying to use race to turn this into a bigger deal.

I also want to say that her initial comment of like, is this something that white guys do? That didn't bother me at all. I thought she was just making a joke. Yeah, none of that really bothered me. It's what happened after because Katie's using race to like bait this fight. She doesn't want to fight. It's easier to call people racist which i'm really getting sick of that like if you're gonna fight fight but don't make it about something

that you can feel like you're morally superior on because you just called somebody racist like actually come up with an argument batch so she runs away and she's trying to make them out to be these evil racists but then when it comes back to them and I don't think they were being racist, but the fear these women have of being biracial is hilarious because, as Katie pointed out and as I've been yelling for months, you blonde hair, blue eyed, light skinned, like, get out of – like, why does it matter? Why is it that big? Well, let's explain what happened. Why is it that big? Well, let's explain what happened. So basically, Katie – they mentioned this thing.

Katie says, well, you're biracial and you're biracial. Somehow it comes up. Katie says that or Ashley says it. And then like Giselle and Rob are like, we're not biracial. We're not. We're black or whatever. And then that's when Katie is like, well, you better get your genealogy checked out because you don't get like this by being straight out of Africa. So that bothers me. I don't have any direct descendants that are black so yeah well i guess it's interesting because it does raise the issue and it's not an issue that i'm terribly informed on but like what is the definition of being biracial is it like you is it the theory the

the drop of what was it like the there's a term for like the drop of blood or whatever like if you have a little bit of black in you you're automatically fully by your biracial or you're black there's something like that someone said that about mariah carey that she does the someone told me it doesn't even matter well it's kind of like what giselle said earlier in the season when she said look you can pretend you're half black all you want to or you can try and get along with white people all you want to or you can try and get along with white people all you want to but you even have like a tiny bit of black in you you black like that's what she's saying in white people's eyes you're considered black right yes

yes so uh that's that's what it was i was like what i was like what am i trying to actually say here and without like i'm like i feel like i'm gonna just start teeter into something racist if i don't don't be careful. But it's interesting. Is the definition that Robin and Giselle are going for that like you're only biracial if it's like within like the first generation or two of – Well, she specifically said direct descendants, which I thought was interesting because Robin – it's not like Robin is that picky with her words normally. I mean, she's a moron. So obviously that's something she's looked up. I just think it's odd that people are so defensive about their race, really, no matter what it is, but especially the two light skinned will take away points from them if they have any white in them. And listen, as any American and probably any human, none of us know where the fuck we came from. We may look back two generations. I mean, I barely knew my great grandfather.

And beyond that, when I've looked, I'm always completely shocked with the makeup of my family and where I come from. Like, it's shocking. Right. Because we don't even talk about it. It's like the past is over. Let's get on with it. But these women are acting like they have no past. Well, I don't know.

I don't know. But I mean, the thing is this, though. If you, let's say, you know, like four or five generations ago, there, you know, there was like your great, great, great grandmother who was black, you know, there was like your, your great, great, great grandmother who is black, you know, has sex with a white guy. Okay. And then there's, and so like has a lighter skin kid and that lighter skin kid has, has a technically a biracial kid has sex with another biracial kid in that generation, another, another, another, but eventually it's like people say, you're black, you're black, you're black. And then those generations don't view them, don't call themselves biracial.

I'm just by the theoretically, I'm just trying to sort of talk this out, try to understand their mindset. So, you know, you have this is, you know, you're talking about people in like the 1800s. Okay. Like kids who are, you know, biracial, but they're still viewed as black, obviously, especially that time you're black, you're black, you're black. So they may be biracial, but they're viewing themselves as black. And they're telling their kids that they're black, and they're known as black, black, black. So yes, there may be some there is some biracial lineage or genealogy. But I black identity going

all the way down, then you get to Giselle, and you get to someone like Robin, who's very light skinned, because who knows, who knows what her genealogy may be i mean she may be right there may only be like the the white ancestors may be like 80 like maybe 100 years ago 120 years ago and they're not direct descendants there was there were some white people there but she's still her she doesn't see herself as biracial because her parents never saw themselves biracial and her parents and her parents' parents' parents' parents, they were always viewed as black and so they called themselves black. There were white people in the genealogy at some point along the line, but over the past three or four generations, maybe there weren't. And on top of that, these are people that viewed themselves as light-skinned black people, not as biracial black people. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does.

I think the thing that bothers me isn't even where she came from or if she's biracial because i don't care the thing that bothers me is that she cares so much and it's not only this conversation it's not her just saying don't say that i'm biracial when i'm not because i get that she's like you don't know my genealogy so why the fuck would you say that i get where she's coming from with that because katie is almost using that is like oh an attack i'm biracial you're biracial so it's this weird it's this weird fight that i guess i just don't get because i'm not in it and i can't yeah i don't live it so i don't see it but the problem that i have with robin and giselle is that they're the ones using that as an attack against katie that's why she's so defensive at

this point they've done it multiple times this season where it's like oh some some black girl just decided to be jewish suddenly black people aren't jewish and who she thinks she is hanging out with white people and with her biracial ass like they make comments all the time to those two women specifically in particular they are so defensive about race and usually the people who are most defensive you know it's like when we were talking about gay people and why are we hateful and why do we have like that snarky sense that we feel overly critical? Well, it's self-hatred. And that's where it comes from. And knowing it helps get over it, but it's still part of you.

And it feels similar to what they're doing like they're so defensive about it that i'm like why are you so self-hating about whatever light-skinned part you might have in you as if that invalidates your experience as a black woman i don't get it i mean i don't i don't know i feel like i agree with you on some points i feel like i don't agree on some other things i mean um i agree they have you know they've made katie feel insecure about being biracial and so now she's like being like, aha, you're biracial. She's been waiting just to say you're biracial too on some level. I think though – I guess we both agree that like we understand the frustration of someone saying you're biracial and you're like, well, it's not that it's offensive. It's just it's wrong and don't call me biracial. I'm just not – i'm not biracial you know but um it's weird because i mean this has been an ongoing discussion

we've had about giselle and robin and and in terms of like making katie feel bad or being defensive about race it's like it's so i think it's also it's really hard sometimes for us because we're not black and we're not or half we're not even half black um uh so it's hard but i feel like the being gay gives some i think it actually does in enlighten not like it gives us some insight sort of what you were saying you know there is that self-loathing for sure but i also think some of the things that you've come down really hard on giselle and robin for across the season I felt like for sometimes they've said things where you've been like they are so obsessed with race they're so obsessed with race and to me it's like they're um it's almost like inside joke sort of like when we talk about gay stuff um and be like oh he's such a bottom or whatever or like

oh he does he's you know anytime we make a joke about about a guy on the street who is straight but it's like oh but he's really you know he can see he's gay or you know we can see give him some give him some booze he'll be gay you could really there's there's a pretty strong um parallelism between those four comments and the comments that Robin and Giselle make. The difference is that we're both out-of-the-closet homosexuals. So when we're making jokes like that, when they make jokes, like mean jokes about someone's race, they're thinking of themselves as more black than she is, whereas we're thinking of ourselves as just as gay you know what i mean no that's what separates it and also the reason just just to add real quick

the reason i've been coming down on it the whole season isn't even really what's happened on the show there have been little sparks of shit that have happened on the show what pissed me off was i guess happens next week in the season finale this big dinner they have because that's what they were showing in all of the previews for this show so all of the previews were race i mean the previews were this big fight they have next week at dinner and she's afraid of being black and you know the the racing comes to a huge head next week and so yeah that's what informed everything that i was watching so when i say they're so defensive about, it's because I saw where they were going from those previews and they do go there.

I mean, I do. I feel like it's not like as no pun intended as black and white as we're making it. Like I do. They're probably, I think there is self-loathing. I think there is defensiveness,

but I also think it's just, it's not all like negative, um, like, like negative nastiness. You know, it just, I guess what the point I was saying about the, the gay thing is, you know, a lot of times, you know, when we make comments, they're almost like inside jokes with the gay community, you know? Um, it's like, it's part

of our identity. We're, we're gay men. And some of the things we say, I wish I had better examples to be honest, illustrate this point. But like when we say things, you know, in a certain way, it's because I'm talking to you or two gay guys, we happen to have an audience, you know, and like we make a joke, but you take away the grain of salt. We know a lot of times the things we say, we don't actually mean them 100%. So when Giselle says something like, Oh, Katie, you can hang out with those white people, but they don't like you, you know, that I think it's like a tongue-in-cheek

sort of like in-joke. I imagine, that's how I perceive it, as a tongue-in-cheek in-joke. Except they consider her less in because she's biracial. So they don't consider her on the same level. That's my point. Like, they're making in-jokes with each other, Robin and Giselle, and I get get that but they're making them towards somebody they consider

different from them because of her race so my issue isn't really any horrible thing that they've said or anything it's a general attitude of like you're not black enough we're blacker than you and you're not black enough on purpose like you're choosing to do all these white things because you're not – like, you don't want to be black. And if somebody suggests biracial, Giselle didn't get mad, but Robin did. Like, she got pissed. She was like, no, I have no direct descendants. And it's not even about black and white. It's just the – it's where we are right now in the world.

Everybody has their thing. The gays – it is not the same being gay and black obviously but you bringing it up of course there's similarities because yeah we take each other down constantly over i mean our community but over stupid shit and i'm guilty of it all the time like the atlantic gays are in these high heels and then and then they're too gay or you know they're not gay enough or he's in the closet or no no no like i came out so now everybody has to do it my way and it's a very human thing that i get and i think minorities do it in general but um those two just that that's it i mean i don't really have that much more to say i don't think they're evil i think giselle's an evil human being but i don't think they're like evil racists or anything like that, burning prostitutes.

I just think they're ignorant assholes, and I think they're probably feeling it. I get what you're saying. It's hard. The philosopher Levi Strauss has this whole theory about binary opposites. I'm going there. I'm going there. Yes. No, but there's this theory I learned about in college, and it's actually a really interesting theory that really makes sense in many ways.

That, like, in life, we process things truly in a black and white way. Everything is good versus evil, this versus that. And things that fall in the middle are either sacred or taboo. So, and being biracial is something that has, it was like a huge example, uh, for this, for this theory. And that's what happens because people have a hard time categorizing and they get frustrated when they can't categorize. And they, and so when someone sees someone like katie like suddenly she seemed to be identifying with her white side more and then sometimes she's identifying with her black side like well which one is it it's frustrating like why can't you decide which one and like and she

shouldn't have to decide she shouldn't have to decide because both are perfectly valid points parts of her identity but in this way she becomes taboo in the same way that you know you look at it like oh she's this beautiful you know you know people say you know, you look at it like, oh, she's this beautiful, you know, you know, people say, you know, mixed babies are like the most beautiful babies. They have like the best of both worlds. So she's both the sacred and the taboo. And that's really what's going on here. And, um, I do, I think it's a little bit of everything that we're saying. I don't, I, I think that, yes, they, they are frustrated and they do hold it against her that she won't like pick a like she said i think they i think maybe they do resent that she seems to like um identify with her white side more but they shouldn't resent that um but um i don't know where i was going with it but it's

interesting it's i guess the struggle i think that you know that a lot of biracial people have, I imagine. And it's interesting because from what I've heard from light-skinned black people is that this is also a struggle that they deal with. So there probably is a lot of self-loathing because from what I've heard – from what we've seen on these shows before, like on Blood, Sweat & Heal, about being light-skinned and how you're considered not black enough or all that stuff. So it's – Yeah yeah i find it super that's why i find it so interesting because the the lightest skinned are the most offended or whatever and i just think that it looks like um me for example when there's a gay i don't like i'll list everything i don't like and it's literally me it's like a self-loathing bitchy snarky person who replaces uh any kind of a personality with snark you know i'll say something like that and then i realize an hour

later i'm talking about me so yeah when i see the two lightest skin black people going crazy about or getting defensive about it i relate to it in that way you know and i'm like what are you so defensive about it's like what do you have a secret white person in your in your uh tree oh no it's just an interesting time in our history where we've gone backwards like growing up gay you couldn't be openly gay where i'm from like growing up as a kid that is nuts and now people are like yeah i'm gay hell yeah because it's beyond pride it's like a huge tribal thing. It's almost like a trend hit, where suddenly it was so okay that there's gay people everywhere, and they're like, fuck yeah, I'm gay.

If you don't believe I'm gay, here's my lesbian keychain in your face while I'm trying to order something at Whole Foods in my plaid shirt, because it's more of a being an outsider. Everybody realized that we're all outsiders, and so we all found our own little outsider tribe to be a part of. And now it's like our outsider tribe against everybody else's outsider tribe. And we're all trying to pretend we're these outsiders, but we're not. We've all got these huge tribes that we're in with.

So yeah, I would, I, I do, I would like to actually hear, um, Giselle and Robin's sort of rebuttal. So the idea that, you you know like to basically you know what you're saying about how they um seem to really resent katie for identifying with both being white and being black because i i think that they would have an interesting rebuttal believe it or not and i think that i think the issue is more complicated than than we're even getting to you know and we're like two white guys well we're and we're two white guys not though we're two human beings that's the point it's not about like it's not even about that anymore this is a group of black women so i

think it's amazing to see it unfold in a group because you know there is like but but there's certain things that we don't we don't understand of course. It's the way that certain people would not understand certain dynamics with different gay groups. I'm not saying we don't understand all of it. I'm just saying that's what I'm saying. I would like to hear what their thoughts are. And I would like to hear what our listeners say too. And I'm hoping that we have properly articulated ourselves and not like stuck our foot in our mouths and been ignorant or whatever. We kind of be as mature and like,

just talking about shit like this. The whole country is talking about it. We're all in the same place as far as, well, no, I'm not afraid of talking about it, but like, you know,

I hope that when people listen to this, they're not listening. They're not like ready to take out their pitchforks. I hope that there, if you know, if I hope they realize we're not trying to just make blanket statements and be ignorant, we're really trying to understand an issue and talk our way through it. And I'm, I would really like to hear what other people have to say about it, because it's a fascinating topic. And it's a really it's a really multi-faceted um nuanced topic too so i i always want to hear

more perspectives on these things well i'm sure we're gonna hear them next week the funniest part to me is that we're talking about really important things through the eyes of really stupid people i was about to say but really the most important question is is michael gay no you saw how tall that man was right but that being said that being said katie was truly she was there was something kind of nasty in the way that she was going at giselle and robin because um regarding uh michael grabbing andrew's butt katie's like we believe that as much as we believe you guys have no white ancestors i was like okay stop like sort of like brandishing that like as a as like a weapon a little bit you know it felt a little i started it i think that she's just been ready for this fight and she's trying to bring it up at the wrong time yeah i think it's just

like pent up like she's she's like thought of all these things to say to them like it's like after the fact she's like oh i should have said at that time i should have said that that i'm and now she's thought of all these things to say to them. It's like after the fact, she's like, oh, I should have said that that time. I should have said that that time. And now she's got them all ready to go. And now they're all just vomiting out of her. Yeah. So next week, we get to see the season finale, which is the entire race fight that we've been leading up to this entire season. So I'm interested to see.

And God damn, I'm glad this show's ending soon. Oh, I like it. A whole new proper shows i also just want to point out that when sharice walked giselle and robin out to their car at the when they were leaving the party that the uh the entire party the building was at the top of a large staircase so sharice has to know her new chapter she invited everyone up the staircase oh i didn't even notice that. That's so nice. She's going to wake up feeling like such a whore.

New chapter. I can't believe I let people walk up my staircase. My 50s are ruined. Chapter 72, 50 and One Day. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for listening. We will be live next Monday night at the Hollywood Improv Lab. Get your tickets.

We will also be on our Google Hangout video chat this coming Thursday night at 6 p.m. Pacific time. It's a busy week this week, Ben. Oh, yeah. So love you guys. Thanks for everything. We will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music.

Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.