Watch What Crappens - #2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

This is part 2 of 2This week on Summer House, Carl faux-launches his Soft Bar concept with a Friends & Family event in NJ. Jesse, meanwhile, faces scrutiny over a sucked toe and heavy flirtations.  You can watch this recap on video, listen to our White Lotus Recaps, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  Tickets for our North American tour on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. I guess what happens when there's so much that happens Let's get right back into the episode. So Sierra's like, the pregnant lady is probably gonna be Gabby. Gabby's like, don't put that on me, especially in Jersey. Don't say the P word in the NJ state. So now Carl is talking to Lil and he's like, oh, so hot, I'm sweating right now. I gotta say hello, I's like our cool off. And then people were drinking and enjoying it and everything and people

eating stuff and, and then Lil is talking to Sierra saying, um, they're just, that's just like small talk around the party. So finally, Carl is like, you know what? So the plan is to have a space ready for January of 2025. But in the meantime, our Sprinter van is going to be doing pop-ups all around the city. So get excited in the cold winter to stand outside on the sidewalk and drink some non-alcoholic drinks. Let me tell you the most popular time for people to want Spritz, January.

Huge time. Huge, huge time. So Jesse, Gabby and Paige all sit down and talk and Jesse's being like, hey guys, it's so gorgeous. So they get right into it and Paige is like, so did you see Lexi this week? And he's like, no Paige, no Paige. And she's like, well, did you or didn't you? Yeah.

Did you miss her? I missed her, I missed her. Did you go on a cute little date? We went on our second or third date. Did you tell her you stuck the toe? Let's just get to it, I'm bored with you. Your charm does not work on me. I'm just staring at the dent in your chest.

So he's like, I mean, listen, we both know that we're not pursuing other people. Okay, all right, that's great. So like, do you want that? Like, yeah, yeah, I want to give it a try. Like, I feel like I'm ready for it. Wow. That was amazing how little conviction you have in that. That was like, that was like the OJ Simpson trial of answers. There was zero conviction.

And Gabby's like, so you had to talk about being exclusive? You really want that, you? And he's like, I mean, yeah. Listen, there's no guy on the planet who's gonna be like, wow, can't wait to have sex with one woman for the rest of my life, right? I mean, come on, no guy's gonna think that. Gabby's like, I think that's exactly what it's supposed to be.

That's the whole point. Yeah. I think there's like maybe hundreds of guys like that. Maybe even millions. Yeah. But like she made it clear the day that we met that she hooks up with people exclusively and I want to respect that. And also I made us exclusive so I can finally hook up with her. So, you know, if all the right reasons and she makes me like not want to respect that and also I made us exclusive so I can finally hook up with her so

You know if all the right reasons and she makes me like not want to hook up with other people Yeah, yeah, and this and Gabby calls it. She's like, okay So you're saying that you're gonna make her your girlfriend so you can fuck her and he's like, um, whoa I'm page because say you had sex and goes, uh Thanks. I just oh my god you did I can tell you did I can tell and he goes, oh, please. I just, oh my God, you did, I can tell. You did, I can tell. And he's like, I don't wanna kiss and tell guys unless it's emerald, I'll do that. But basically I don't wanna do.

And I think this is the danger with the whole like, don't put out until you're married to a guy. Like that's like a very old fashioned thing, but like don't put out until you've got commitment from a guy. That is the dangerous part of it, is that they're gonna to be on their best behavior until they get it. And then they'll switch. You know,

part of me is like, just fuck someone. I mean, not necessarily immediately, but soon, you got to make it as big of a deal so you can see their real personality after they get what they want. You know? Yeah. Do like, like three dates or something, just because if you do it on the first date, it's not a slutty thing. It's just more like then you just won't hear from them again, probably. And so this way you can, because it's cause guys are awful.

And so this way, at least you can get like two more free meals out of it and then maybe learn about them. Since when is dating like that? You get free meals out of shit. God. Well, I think in straight dating, you're supposed to like the guys for the meal. Yeah. Said I'd date more, you know, gender think in straight dating, you're supposed to like the guys, but for the meal. Yeah.

Said I'd date more. No gender roles, gender roles. They're all there. You know, all those straight people are fucked up with their gender roles. That's why they all go nuts. You know, guys are like, I'm not, I'm not supporting my family.

I'm not supporting my wife. But gay guys can just be like, are you going to Sondheim tonight? You know, so it's great. Yeah. We can be like, oh my God, I'm not supporting a family or a wife. Yes, queen. I know. Why do you think, why time tonight? You know, so it's great. Yeah, we can be like, Oh my God, I'm not supporting a family or a wife. Yes, Queen. I know.

Why do you think why do you think all these all these straight relationships go so berserk? Because it's always like a guy who's like, I'm 42 and I haven't gotten to where I want to be to support because I've got to be a guy. I got to be a man supports my my wife and my kids and everything. And then the wife's got to be like, I want to have my kids, you know. So they all have their they they just have a disaster. But like if you're gay, you can just go to brunch.

If you're gay, just go to brunch and deal with your self-loathing. That's it. You know? So then Paige is like, wow, look at that random guy there, sitting there. You don't want to kiss and tell in front of him. That's for sure.

Jesse's like, yeah, I can't say anything in front of that guy. You look trustworthy, but we don't really know you yet. All right. So he's uncomfortable and he does not like that they're questioning him on camera either. He's very visibly not loving this because he sees what's coming and he deserves it. He deserves every other what's coming. And they're poking a hole in his carefully crafted veneer. So then Emeril's talking to Bailey because he knows that if he tells anything to Bailey, it's going to go into the vault because no one talks to Bailey. He's like, I'll just tell you something and it'll just go off into nowhere. So Bailey's like, so how is it in the house? I think he's purposely telling Bailey so she'll go

immediately tell Lexi that's Lexi, no, I'm just joking. Oh, I'm just joking because she's like, she's like, uh, she's like, my sarcasm on the shirt. It was off. Yeah. Sorry. I cranked it up to 10. There.

You're so serious. Yeah. I was like, what, what? No, the joke is that Bailey, like no one, I got it now. Yeah. But I was like, huh? So here's what I was thinking when I came up with the joke, I was like, here's the concept. I was like, there one. Yeah, I get it now, yeah. But I was like, huh? So here's what I was thinking. When I came up with the joke, I was like,

here's the concept I was going for. No, it was my bad. It was my bad. I was like, there's Bailey. Okay, so Emeril is talking and he's like, yeah, we were in bed and we were, yeah, I had it crazy. I brought the two girls back and we were in bed

and we were all naked and then Jesse barged in and he's drunk and he's just like, well, just ended up with him getting his toe sucked, but like playfully, you know? And then like, he didn't do anything, but like, you know, so I gotta bring that up to him. You know, I just, I should have brought it up Sunday, but my brain was dead.

So I don't think Lexi's gonna like that. That's not great. Anyway, glad you got all this information. Enjoy and feel free to share it with Lexi. So then back to the other convo, Paige was like, did you or did you not have sex? Jesus Christ. It's like asking Craig, did you or did you not have sex? Jesus Christ. It's like asking Craig,

did you or did you not make that banana loaf bread? Can I just get an answer? And he's like, yeah, we had sex. She's like, I knew that he didn't make that banana bread. I knew it. You're being so Jesse Salomon right now. It's like crazy how Jesse Salomon you're being and you're not even singing yet.

He's like, yeah, well, I can only be me Well, did you tell Sierra? He's like what but like it just happened the night before last and she's like I was making a joke Because you guys were flirting, you know last weekend if Lexi were here You would have had your balls chopped off and it would have been hilarious 1000% yeah, like Jesse you were like acting crazy with Sierra. You were like seriously flirting with Sierra. And he's like, oh, we're just being friends. And so we cut to last weekend where he's totally flirting with Sierra. You know, he's like, oh, sorry, and touching your leg there.

God damn. Sorry, you're a ten. Sorry. Yeah. So Jesse is like, yeah, I mean, what is she saying? And she's like, nothing, but I have eyes and I'm an idiot. Although apparently I didn't have eyes when I looked at Craig the first time and said, good, I want to waste three years with this person. So Gabby's like, yeah, we all saw it. We all have eyes and everyone saw it. Everyone in the house saw it. Yeah. And I have a brain too. I just want to add. Yeah. And I have ears and I've got like lips and eyes and yeah. It's like, are we comparing body parts right now? I think we are. Okay. Let's get out of this loop. Yeah. So then we get Carl's speech. Carl's like, everybody, everybody is listening on.

Is this thing on? I need a microphone. I don't know how many people here, but we're in New Jersey. So I just want to make sure you can hear me. Okay. Hey everybody. Thank you. Oh God. Hold on. I'm sweating a little bit. I'm only when sweating here. God, it's crazy. But I just want everyone like, I started this business for many reasons. One, Lindsay was mean to my mom. Mom, that one was for you. Say yes. She was mean to me. Fuck that bitch. All right. Number two, I don't drink anymore. So that's a huge thing. I just want life to be more soft. You know what I'm saying? So

It's also yeah, I want to drink. I want a drink that represents my penis when I'm with Lindsey. Okay. Thanks That was for you mom. That was for you Well, um It's great to have everyone here at the friends and family launch a soft bar We're well, we're halfway there living on a prayer reference. Reference to New Jersey, John Bon Jovi. Couldn't make it today, unfortunately, too bad. Anyway, I just wanna say that I like working for an alcohol brand, Loverboy.

We launched Loverboy, not alcohol, NA, as some people call it, and I had this epiphany last year and I went into one of those stores that sell Loverboy, not elk, but they don't have anywhere you can sit and enjoy them. I'm like, yeah, no 7-Elevens have a place to sit and enjoy them. Like, yeah, no 7-elevens have a place to sit and enjoy anything. I was like, wait, where's the non-alcoholic stuff in this fridge? It's called Sprite, babe.

Wait a second. Where's the cafe area of this Walgreens? I'm about to say I'm launching tables and people consider them if they want to. Yeah. They're called soft tables and they don't really stand up, but they're soft and they're nice. So anyway, so Brian and I hit it off about six months ago and we started workshopping this concept of tables and chairs in 7-Eleven and that didn't work out. But either way, I'm very passionate about this space because I've seen people not only like myself in recovery needing an option and needing alternatives, but I've seen people that are

pregnant, wild raging bitches who are pregnant, who are mean and don't answer phone calls and are like really cruel to people who broke up with them. And there's space for them. They need to have a space to be able to drink things. Listen, people who have railed against brick and mortar, even they deserve a chance to sit in a 7-Eleven and drink some non-alcohol. All right. So here we go.

Soft. Oh, everybody. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. I was just going to say, people who are really nasty human beings but give really good hard and tender hugs, they deserve a place to drink and to sit while they do it. Everybody, this has been an amazing ride in the van from Manhattan, which is where we

came from. So thanks, van. Everybody should get a van, really. Thanks for coming. Okay. If anybody has a new twist on paper towels, I'd buy some right now because I'm really sweating like a dog. So that would be great. Thanks. So after this, after, well, Karl goes off to towel down his layer of sweat. Gabby and Bailey sit on lawn chairs. So Bailey's going to get to actually be in like a group convo, which is very exciting. And Jesse sits down, he's holding two drinks and Sierra's like, Jesse, are you double fisting? And I was like, enough about the foursome, okay?

Can we just talk about the scene? Right. Oh, well, I figured I'm mixing water, you know, I'm going to loopy from all the benefits, that's what's going on here. And so Bailey's like, yeah, I heard I'm mixing water, you know, I'm getting loopy from all the benefits and that's what's going on here. And so I was like, yeah, I heard about the toe sucking. So that was, good for you, Bailey. Wait, what? Ew, gross.

Well, I went into Emeril's room to see who he was having a threesome with. Which by the way, I feel like not enough time has been also spent with the idea that he just walked into a threesome. Like, I actually think that's like, a it's crazy. It's also like it's inappropriate. Like they're having they're having sexy times. You don't just like walk in on people having sex. Although I know that it's like, like, I guess in a porno, like you would do that. And I guess people do it. But I just kind of think it's there's a little bit of a boundary

ish there too, or he's just like, well, I want to see who was having sex. So I just walked in. I know. Actually, when Emeril was saying, yeah, you know, Bailey, he just like walked in while we were having a threesome and I need to talk to him about that. I thought he meant like, you can't just walk in the room when I'm banging two chicks, bro. But then he made it sound like he was talking about Lexi not liking it. So I was like, I would actually rather a conversation of general manners. Like, you know, if you know I'm having sex, maybe don't walk in, especially when there's camera crews in the house and I'm fucking two arrows. You know, I also just, I know, I also just feel like it's more respectful to the women. Like it's a little disrespectful to the women

because they made a choice that they wanted to have a threesome with Emeril, but they didn't make it. They didn't say, and I want someone, a stranger to walk in and sit down and watch us. Like I actually think it's, it sounds like everything was ultimately fine and consensual and everything, but I just think it's like, I just like, why do you think it's like cool just to walk into a room where there's a threesome going on?

Let them, you know, do their thing. It's about fucking etiquette, bro. Yeah. Like get it together. So he says, invitation. Yeah, you know, I walked into his room to see who he was having a threesome with, and then they were like, jump in. So I was like, no, you know, I walked into his room to see who he was having a threesome with and then they were like, jump in. So I was like, no, you know, no toes as much as you're going

to get ladies. Sorry, sorry, just the toe, just the toe. So Sierra's like, oh, so she said, can I put your toe in your mouth? And you said, okay. And he's like, yeah, you know, it's like everyone was drunk. It was like a casual toe suck, you know, like, come on, big deal. Oh, okay. Casual toe suck. Yeah. I mean, somebody just happened to put their mouth on my toe and I said, like, that's as far as you can go. And Bailey's like, did you think how Lexi would feel? Cause are y'all dating now?

Is it official official? Cause by the way, you're on speakerphone with her right now. Just get it. Oh, that's pretty exclusive. Uh, yeah, but can she get her toe sucked by other men? Cause you know, good damn and well, that's a no. Okay, and look at that smile, Jesse Solomon. You already fucked up my guy.

So Jesse's like, I mean, I thought Emeril was cool. Apparently not. Dude, you were on camera doing it. Like that's what cracks me up. He just thinks he's just never gonna tell her. And then by the time he's fucked her, got what he wants and it's the reunion, it won't matter anymore because it'll already cracks me up. He just thinks he's just never gonna tell her and then by the time he's fucked her, got what he wants and it's the reunion and won't matter anymore

because it'll already be broken up. This guy's so slimy. He's just such a fucking slime ball. Gross. My favorite thing is that when Jesse Solomon, when his smile, like when he is like a bad thing dawns on him, when his smile slowly like fades into like this frown,

cause he also, as big as his smile is, his frown is equally as big. And whenever his smile goes all the way down into a frown, it is so funny to me. Cause it always happens very slowly. And then he was like, and his teeth are still both showing, both rows are still showing too, which is funny.

Like when the term, like the term crestfallen is based off of him. Cause it looks like a moon literally fell onto his chin so Jesse's like I thought yeah, I already had this part Well, I feel like I had such a good weekend and I was like such a good boy I know everything's being like you're flirting with Ciara and you're getting your soap talk because he did both those things by the way So that's why people are saying that so

Anyway, so Jesse's like the toe sucking in my mind. It's just like not a thing. Like what I think is an actual big deal is people thinking after it was Ciara. So I gotta tell Lexi about this like right away. Yeah, you think? So he goes, great chatting guys, really great chatting. So he goes, yeah, toe sucker, good chat.

So then Jesse immediately whips out his phone and texts Lexi, hey, I miss you. Miss you, just in case she's getting any texts from Bailey or anything else, that's his cover. So then we go to Lexi, I'm turning up to a photo shoot with Andrew the photographer and my mom and my sister. He he he he he he he. I started modeling really young which is exactly when I started getting bullied for being a model and so like naturally my parents and my sister were

always kind of involved in my career and from just like giving me free advice and like I used to have managers all over the world Milan, Paris, New York and recently I got rid of all of them and now it's just like my mom and my sister are just like so fluid. Yeah, because they'll like get boxes from a brand and they open them first and then they give them to me. So it's like so great to have them there because like I'm already with them. So like I could get a box and let's say like what if I don't know how to open a box, but my sister does and then she passes me what's inside the box like I don't even have to touch cardboard anymore like when I'm like thinking about like what kind of makeup I want to put on I just put on my sister

first and that's why she has like ten layers of makeup on at any given time because we're just like trying different things out on her before me for me, it's like perfect. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the Byzantine Empire? Even the Royals is a podcast from Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families, from ancient empires to modern monarchs,

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or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Even The Royals early and ad free by joining Wondery Plus. So she does her photo shoot in Jesse's lucky underwear, which is so sad. I missed that. And meanwhile, she gets a text from Jesse and she looks sad and she's like, I mean, I've always seen like Sierra and Jesse is like brother sister. So like I've never watched anything while Lotus. So to me, that's just sounds like totally normal and fine,

but I've never seen them flirt. So this whole thing of everybody being like, oh my God, they're flirting. Like that's weird because like, that's not something that's like even in my head. It's like math. So now we are back at the soft party. my head. It's like math. So now we are back at the soft party. The soft party is still going. So then some some of the women are asking little how

she knows Carl and Lil's like, well, he met like my whole family because my dad always goes to NYC FC games and then they like became like buddies and then I slid into his DMs. And I was like, think of a number. Okay, now tell me the number you're thinking of. Is it the number 47? And he said no. And I said, is it the number 63 said no, I said that 105. It went on for about two hours. And finally, he just told me his number. But anyway, working on the magic. But we did feel chemistry in that moment.

And Gabby's like, wait, so that was last summer, right? She goes, yeah. And Emeril's like, yeah, the NYFC games. She goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's when it was. So Gabby's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, math, math, math, beautiful, beautiful mind, you know, equations going all over. She's like, wait a minute. So you're saying last summer when Lindsay and Carl

were still very much engaged, he met your parents and then you slid into his DMs. That's suspicious. That's suspicious. It is. Also, I had it in my mind that Carl went to like a local community softball game. And I did not realize it was like an actual

proper professional sporting event. So in my mind it was just like some softball game. I love the idea of Carl just driving up to some kid's softball game in a van. Like, hey guys, hey guys. It's just me and a soft guy. Soft peddler. Okay. It was actually a professional soccer game.

Yeah. So, on Reddit, sorry I'm saying this like 20 times to recap, but it's all I read. So, there was a screenshot of Lil posting. She's like getting into the mix now. And she's like, what? What can you people read? Okay, October is after the summer. And she posts the DM where she slid into Carl's DMs

and it says like October 22nd. So, okay, but then why in this episode are we seeing Gabby saying, so that was last summer, right? And then Lil saying, yes. Why? Is it because they added something shady in there? Yeah, maybe it was like shady editing, but I don't know. There's a big mystery of the week. Yeah, that is odd. Either way, though, Carl has definitely gotten a lot of mileage out of saying that he's like, he needs to heal. He can't be around people. He hasn't been

thinking like that. But clearly, he was ready to roll in October, like a few weeks later, and ready to flirt and get out on the town. So he still is paddling a narrative that he's like this. He's been damaged, even though he was the one who dumped and then and that he is like this, he's been damaged, even though he was the one who dumped. And then, and that he is just like, he's in such a tender place and he's got to take things very slowly. But he was already, he's already playing the field, right, you know, very quickly. Oh, literally, because it was a game.

It was a sports game. Oh, thank you, thank you man. So then, now we go to kickball. West is throwing a big kickball event because it's like trendy and West is nothing if not useful, okay? Thankfully he's not wearing a tennis sweater and a scarf on his head.

So I will thank him for that one. He does still have stupid hair though. So let's see where this leads. It's a group playing kickball. So his whole thing is that they played kickball like last year and they all had a really fun time and Sierra was like, yeah, that was fun. So he was hoping that this time he was like,

I'm gonna do another kickball game and Sierra will come and then there'll be teammates and then he'll cheer her on and maybe she'll cheer him on. And then he's like, but I won't do a, I won't, but I won't do a butt slap because like maybe like, but maybe I'll do like a fist bump or something like that. So just like his elaborate plan to make her like him again. And it's obviously going to fail because ultimately Sierra is like, yeah, I'm not going to come.

Yeah. And he's like, well, I guess he still feels like some kind of way, like Jesse said, I just wish he was here so she could get over the fact that I wouldn't date her. That seems to really have crushed her. So he's like, well, whatever I was doing in the house is clearly not that effective. So I think it's just like gonna be like,

it's just time for me to be me and have fun and get like my fucking mojo back, bitches. So he says that he texted his mom to ask what position pregnant ladies can play. And Lindsay's like, I'll play the same position that I played in my relationship with Carl, no catcher. Yeah, and so then Gabby's like, I don't know who in the universe I pissed off to warrant going to New Jersey and then spending an afternoon playing kickball in the same week. Please

know more of this. Please no more. This is like Gabby's best episode of the year so far. I agree. She's so funny in this episode. She's been so quiet all season, but like this episode, she is speaking to my soul. So they make teams and stuff and Lindsey and Gabby are talking and she's like, what, how was that? Like, how was that? Like whatever you went to, like, I don't even know what to call it.

And Gabby's like, it was like a friends and family soft opening thing in New Jersey. And so Lindsey, Lindsey's the way Lindsay goes in on this was so funny. She's like, I mean, there's a lot of reasons why I didn't go, but like most of which I felt like already wasted so much time on this man. Like, I'm not going to waste two hours there, two hours back for something that's like not even opening. Like I don't need to like once again, celebrate you talking about doing something in the future, like it's still an inaction and he wasted more money. I just like, I don't need to like once again celebrate you talking about doing something in the future. Like, it's still an inaction and he wasted more money. I just like I can't. I

was like, Oh my god, she's so I didn't even think about that. But it's true. Like, it's just more money spent on something that's like not even opening. This isn't an opening. This is just something to, you know, to say that you're doing something but you're not actually doing anything. Well, in his defense, which I can't even believe I'm going to defend him. But in his defense, which I can't even believe I'm gonna defend him, but in his defense, you know, he's starting small.

He's starting with what he can afford, the van, he's got the drinks, he's got the ice. So that's something. And he's putting it on TV to hopefully raise some money from viewers, which apparently is his business plan. Yeah. It's not unlike Sonia Morgan's whole, like,

friends and family fashion show that she did though. And then, well, to be fair, Sonia did finally get into that until like, what was it? Century 21 and then century 21 closed. Yeah. So anyway, Gabby is like, yeah, she's like, yeah, it was an expensive event. I mean, and I appreciated that he had a ceviche, and he's like, ceviche, okay. And there was burrata and there were shrimps. She's like, okay, great. Like all the things I can't eat, perfect, perfect. Man, pregnant ladies really get the short end of this.

God, that was a whistle, sorry. That was my gay whistle. I really just whistled in people's ears. Tell your dogs I'm sorry. It's a gay person that they're listening to. But, you know, pregnant women get the short end of the stick, like no burrata, no shrimp, no, come on, there's too much of a list.

I mean, how did my mom have a carton of Benson and Hedges and a fucking bottle of wine every day? I mean, I guess I'm not fine, but still. I was talking to my friend Laura who just had a baby and I was like, oh, are you so glad you could eat sushi again? Because that's what everyone says, oh my God, I had to go nine months,

I couldn't have sushi, I couldn't have soft cheeses and stuff, she goes, no, she's like, I just want to have cold cuts. I couldn't have cold cuts for nine months. And I just thought that was so funny. You can't have cold cuts either? Oh my God. No, you can't. No wonder babies come out crying.

God, they can't have fucking anything. Cigarettes, alcohol, cold cuts, burrata. Damn. That's why Jennifer Aiden was such a monster in Jersey Mikes because she was like tapping into her infant self. Be like, Hey baby, I haven't had cold cuts in nine months. Give me something now, baby. So, Lindsay's like, wow, didn't think of pregnant women at all.

And Gabby says, well, he said the soft bars like for pregnant women, and he said he wants pregnant women to be there. And Lindsay's like, oh my, no, he did not. No, he did not. Oh my God, okay, did the girls show up? Did the girls show up? Did she have carts in her purse?

Gabby's like, yeah, she was like, Carl, my parents met a soccer game like last year and I slid into his DMS and I was like, and this way Gabby pulls down her, her Uchi sunglasses. Cause she had to, she had to mark out the G I guess. But she was like, you can tell she was like, I am not going to mark out all of the Gucci. I spent, I like $1,000 on these sunglasses. You're going to see that these are Gucci. So why would they have to march that mark that down? They show brands on every show on Bravo.

Well, the G was missing because it said Gucci on the side and I'm assuming she put some tape on it on the G. It's a UCCI. So that was like a protest. Now they're trying to help the protests. I'll still wear your glasses. I'm just going to change the name of them. Just a protest about how she didn't get to go to Italy for the wedding, maybe. Yeah, or how pregnant women can't eat, Uji.

So Lindsay's like, okay, did she say when this was, we need to make a timeline? And she's like, she said summer. So they're like, oh my God, the math, the math. And she's like, wait a minute, there they're like, oh my God, the math, the math. And she's like, um, wait a minute. There was one week, the last of us being together after the soccer game and before we broke up. Okay, are you following? I'm not really.

What soccer game? The soccer game they're talking about? Yeah, the one that's like when Carl went to the soccer game. So she's like, yeah, so we went to the soccer game, which I thought was a softball game. And I went to his room and gave him a hug. And he was like, harder, harder, harder. So we had to do that for 10 minutes. And was a softball game, and I went to his room and gave him a hug, and he was like, harder, harder, harder! So we had to do that for ten minutes, and then like on the phone he had a DM open, and

then like somebody was there with like a phone number and he swiped out of the DM like immediately! So now I know, now it's all making sense to me, like before you've even broken up with me, like maybe he's gone around Gabby and been like, oh I'm such a victim, I'm such a victim, like I haven't moved on, I haven't moved on, I haven't moved on, I haven't moved on, but like whatever. Like bitch, you've been talking to a girl since you first broke up with me. No, once again, you're gaslighting everyone

and you're a fucking fraud, you're a fucking phony, you're a fucking liar, and now I'm adding cheater to your fucking resume. And that's literally all that's on his resume. He's done nothing. I know. He doesn't even have came up with the idea of pirate party on his resume,

because I came up with that. And so she's like, if you have a girl who is sliding into your DMs before you've even broken up and you're still engaged to walk down the aisle in two months, that's the kind of girl you want to bring around. Well, which is like rude that Lindsay is now like shaming the girl shame Carl. But she's

like, you want to sit there? You want to sit there to the world and light of the world being like, I didn't even know what I was gonna, that I was gonna walk into that breakup conversation. And she's right, because that whole thing that Carl said, like, I didn't know, I like walk up there. I was like, I didn't even know what I'm gonna do. It's like, you knew you were already talking with Lil, and you're just like maintaining this image of the world that you're just like, poor Carl. Poor Carl.

So then we see a flashback to the reunion where Andy's asking Carl if it was his intention to break up with Lindsay when he had that conversation on camera. And he's like, oh no, I just, I wanted to get on the same page. And I hoped it would go a little differently. I see what I did there. Ron is winking to the camera for people who only listen to the audio. Hopefully they could just hear that in their heads. So don't worry about it. So Lindsay's like, oh motherfucker, you knew,

you were already talking to somebody and her parents. So C is going to be time now. Oh, it's great. I love Lindsey being mad and such. She's like, fuck yeah, I'm gonna confront him about it. Like, are you kidding me? I have nothing to lose. I don't need to protect his ass anymore.

He's a monster. Oh, so true. other people come to the games and they actually start playing with Bailey. Bailey gets, Bailey gets invited to the, Bailey had two scenes in a row. She had two different locations she got to go to this episode is wild. Yeah, so she does that.

And then they West finds out Sierra's not coming and he's like, Oh, that's a bummer. I miss being cool with her. I just don't want to be the reason other people aren't having fun. So I'm clearly uncomfortable not being friends. So then Carl comes over and he's like, hey, Lundy, hey, everybody, hey, everybody, self-carve here. Hey, Lundy, high five, Lindsey.

A lot. Softly, please. Softly, softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly.

Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly.

Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. It was pretty cold, you know. I tried to give her a soft five and she said, I'm okay. Like, okay. And Wes was like, that's tough, man. Sierra won't get over the fact that I won't date her, so that's going on too. Oh my God. Or us. Yes. We're guys on this show. God, we're taking it so hard for the women on the show, aren't we, bro? It's like, yeah.

You need to take us off. So then more people arrive and Paige is like, I can't believe Kyle and Amanda are in Italy and I'm here playing kickball with you guys. I actually, this makes me actually almost want to call up Craig and hang out. Just kidding, never. I'd rather die ball. Okay, that's what I'm playing today.

I have a question. Can we invite Craig here and put him right in front of home base so that way every time someone kicks, it just hits him right in the nose? That'd be wonderful. So, Lindsey catches Paige up on the gosh. She's like, I'm in August and went to that soccer game. They were damning each other before he ever broke up with me and his mother and his mother and on the machine, Paige, on the machine.

Paige is loving this. She's like, oh, wow. And then she goes, yeah, fucking wow. But I'm the villain and you're lying to everyone about you're such a victim. Oh my. So. It's so good.

I feel like for some reason on Summer House, whenever they gossip, I feel like I'm part of the gossip. I'm always like, oh my God. I think I don't know, no other show gives this effect to me. But for some reason on summer house, when they sit down and they're like, guess what I just heard? Isn't this terrible? I always feel like I'm just sitting there receiving the gossip myself. It's my own pair of social bullshit. So Jesse and Carl and Emeril, all the guys are talking and they're talking about the new girl, Lil. And Emeril's like, yeah, she is pretty quirky, huh? And he goes, yeah,

she's got a lot of great energy. She wears safety pins on purpose. You know, she's attractive. But you know, like in my head, I'm comparing myself to the orgy beast, orgy beast Emeril over here. So that's kind of rough. And Jesse's like, nobody can compare to the orgy beast. Oh, solid and beast. West bees. I can do it to guys. Salted and saw what West West Westling beast. So good. There's some like young again. Yeah, well, I'm just a one woman man now, you know, so I'm not really a beast anymore. And they're like, Oh, my god, wait a minute. And so Emerald says, so wait, last Sunday, I had a

threesome, right? And we're in bed and then I hear a knock and guess who comes in? It's this fucking guy. And he's like, yeah, I busted my ass in there. Of course I did. You know, I made it clear I wasn't getting involved. I just sat on the edge of the bed, you know, just wanted to watch and kind of jerk off into my sock. Yeah, yeah, seriously.

So then Paige is like, by the way, I have some more gossip. This is just like an amazing day, Bailey. I'm just like so hashtag excited that you're here for this moment. But last weekend at the party, Emeril, Lindsay's like, oh yeah, I found out then like Jesse wanted to watch. Even I found out about it. And Bailey's like, oh yeah. And he got his toe socked.

And Lexi's like, oh, Jesse got his toe socked. Because I forgot that Lexi is actually there now. She's like, oh, Jesse got his toes sucked. Cause I forgot that Lexi is actually there now. She's like, oh my God. And so she's did not know about this and she's not happy. Yeah, she's not liking it. And then back to the boys, Jesse's like, I don't think I was the one who said, suck my toe. And Emeril's like, no, I said it, but you didn't stop it.

And also you went into a fucking threesome to jerk off, dude. Like, come on. So then now we see Lexi staring at Jesse from across the kickball field. And Emeril's like, yeah, so you know, Lexi might find out about this. And he goes, I guess I have to bring it up now. Thanks, guys.

Yeah. So the girl's page is like, so he conveniently left it at the toe sucking, huh? And Bailey's like, well, I feel like he should just should have said something, you know? And Lexi's like, yeah, it's like, so he conveniently left it at the toe sucking, huh? And Billy's like, well, I feel like he should just should have said something, you know, and like, yeah, it's like weird. Yeah, like I believed him because Sabrina Carpenter would say, I believe the boy. I guess I maybe I had bad taste. So Lexi is like, all week long, like, he's been like the boyfriend from freaking heaven

and like being like, he's like so loyal to me. Like when I was away, like he missed me like so much and like he wants me to be like his girlfriend and especially with the whole slick sleeping thing, I felt like really safe with him. So now like knowing that he has this information and like he lied to me, it just like makes me feel like really icky. So now they play some kickball, kickball, kickball. Lindsay and Lexi are in the outfield and they have a little chat. And Lexi's like, I mean, like he didn't tell me on top of it.

Like I think that's so weird. And then now everyone's like, oh my God, he's flirting with Sierra. But he like told me, but he's like, I don't want, I don't want you to think it was a thing, you know, because she's like my sister, right? And there's like banter. And Lindsay goes, um, yeah, but there was like a lot of flirting with Sierra that happened. Like I was there, but I heard that he told her it

would have been different. Like, you know, if you met me before Wes last summer, which also did happen. And so Lexi is getting more and more pissed. So now she's like, I'm gonna kick this ball really hard now. And Jessie's like, wait, can I give you some advice? Cause you're a girl and don't understand sports. She's like, no, we know. So Lexi's starting to like ice out Jessie a little bit.

And so then Jessie's like, hey, Lindsay, what is she mad about? Well, I set Jesse a little bit. And so then Jesse's like, hey, Lindsay, what does she mad about? Well, I think everything that happened last weekend that someone sucked your toe and like the whole like thing that's kind of like weird, by the way, I'll give you that. But it wasn't a sexual toe suck. It was a, it was what would Carl say, a mindful toe suck.

Yeah, yeah, it was just like a prank, you know? So then Jesse goes up to Lexi and he's like, there's no reason to be mad on promise. And she's like, um, I, if you didn't think it was weird, you would have told me, but like we can finish this conversation later. Oh, yeah. You'll have to do it through my sister. So they play the rest of the game and stuff and they win. Paige's team wins. And she's like, I am the backbone of this entire team and I get shit done. So put some freaking respect on my name. There were some pretty good highlights. I mean, Wes had a very impressive like dive and roll to catch a ball and there was like, at one point they're like, is there just gonna be a montage

of Emeril catching balls? Because he was catching that ball a lot. Like every time that ball went off, like he was just somehow there catching it. I was just thinking about how I would be so bad at it. Like my highlight reel would be the exact opposite. We always joke about this. We put our hands up like this. And that would be me. Even when you throw me keys, I do this. Ugh.

It's like there's these like five base. That red ball comes at me. It's bouncing off my fingertips. So Val and Zee is like, oh boy, Lexi. She's not having a good time. And then they all laugh. Um, so Lexi goes, Oh my god, I'm sweating. I didn't even know that I sweat. So now, um, in roles like there are sort of like, it's like

posts and post game and everything. And Lindsay and Lindsay is like Lindsay saying that she's gonna hold off saying anything to Carl right now, because she's smart and she knows that's more effective if she says that over dinner at the summer house, right? It's like it's just like not the time. And I just like need to make sure like no one else says anything to him so that he can like get his story like straight so we can have like a proper really good argument that can like kind of break the internet, you know, so we're just gonna proper, really good argument that can break the internet.

So we're just going to wait. Well, there's a good chance that they will now, because you wouldn't give them a high five and everything else. So then now Gabby is talking to Lexi, and Jesse walks up, and he's like, oh, can I talk to her? If you want, like alone. She's like, oh, OK. She has to walk off.

I like that she's always there to like guard the girls. So then they start having the conversation and he says it was a non thing, it was just funny. And she's like, but yeah, but what about you telling Sierra that if she didn't wait, date Wes last year, you guys probably would have been together. He's like, ah, that's not exactly what I said, but it was pretty close.

That's pretty much what it was. And we see it to prove that it was pretty much. So Jesse's like, and we see it in the clip, and it's Jesse saying like, hey, so why didn't you give me a chance? And she's like, well, because, you know, like, wow, why didn't you try? Like the whole thing with the dibs. So then Lexi's like, I would never say that to Wester Carl. Like, I would never be like, damn, if Jesse wasn't here the first weekend, things might've been different with you and I. He's like, yeah, but it was like,

it was like more of like a joke, you know? Which by the way, that excuse is gonna get, it's gonna get old really quickly for her. I'm gonna tell you that right now. Yeah. If it hasn't already. Yeah, so she doesn't just take that, you know, as she's just like, well, first we cut to Lindsay and Wes talking about, basically they're all watching them talk, you know,

and how they're mad, how she's mad that he was flirting with Sierra. And Wes is like, yeah, but they've always acted like that. Yeah, but she didn't, he didn't have a girlfriend at that. Yeah. Stupid. Yeah. So then we go back to Lexi and Jesse and she's like, you're not telling me all this stuff

and you're embarrassing me and I'm hearing all this information and not from you who I'm supposed to trust the most after knowing you for two weeks. I mean, what the hell? We're basically married. So just so you know, my brand are famous Nepo babies that I date and I am slumming it with

you. You're just on a reality show and you're tall. So like, don't do this again, because I have better options. I've broken up with way hotter, richer people than you. Yeah, that's what I wanted her to say. He's like, yeah, I appreciate that. It's just like an adjustment for me because you mean a lot to me. Oh, here we go.

I want you to trust me. I won't let it happen. Because he's already gotten it. I told you it was gonna be hard for me to just date one person. I'm a work in progress. That's why he got all that stuff out. I'm just a work in progress.

I'm just a boy. You're going a little too fast for me. I've never committed before. What is it even mean? It's just like a lot. You can't say I didn't warn before. I'm just like really shielded and like I'm scared to open up and maybe I do things to like, like, sabotage myself. Yeah, I'm saying makes my heart hurt.

Sabrina Carpenter was a thumbs. Well, that was the end of the episode, which I loved. Thank you all for being here and the next Summer House episode as a reminder will, it's going to be in Chicago next Sunday. So thanks everyone for listening and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. listening and we'll catch you on the right foot with Chrissy Offit! Dana C Dana Do! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela!

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