Watch What Crappens - #280: It Ain't No Lie — Baby, Dubai Bye Bye

Episode Date: March 31, 2016

We're doing this tonight. We're probably gonna start a fight. I know this can't be right. Hey BABY come on! The Lisas are definitely out of sync on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and we're here to break down their breakdown in Dubai. We cover everything from Eileen's instigation, Rinna's uncorked rage, Vanderpump's quick juke, Erica's iciness, Kyle's loyalty, and Kathryn's... voice of reason?? Then it's on to part II of the Vanderpump Rules reunion, which is all sorts of ridiculous. Here are the time codes: 00:00:00 - Intro. Deets about our live show on 4/4!! 00:07:58 - Crappens Mailbag 00:31:50 - Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 01:53:00 - Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part II Subscribe at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Support us at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Follow us at facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Visit us at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens? What happens? What happens?

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsodblog.com and the Banter Blender podcast. And joining me all the way from across the hillside is the one and only Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hi, Ronnie. Well, hello, Benjamins. How are things on that side of Los Angeles,

on the other side of the hills? We miss you. There's been nobody reporting on what's happening outside of MJ's house. I'm totally alone over here, Ben. Don't you miss hearing all the helicopters and the garbage trucks that come through from my side of the podcast? I haven't even heard an airplane today. Well, we only live half a mile from each other, so I hear the same airplanes.

That time your place caught on fire, I heard the ambulances outside my house. Oh, yeah, that's right that's right for those of you who don't know what we're talking about if you go back in the archives a few episodes ago a fire actually like burst out in my building while we were recording the podcast so i mean anything goes on watch what happens it's the most exciting thing anything goes also goes and anything goes starting with patty no one is drunk today i feel like i need to point that out It also goes, and anything goes. And all the days I'm glimpsing, modeling that. Starting with Patti LuPone.

No one is drunk today. I feel like I need to point that out. I love how that's like your go-to Patti LuPone impersonation. I dream to dream and time gone by. I've got a lot. So while everyone is humming some Patti LuPone to themselves, go on over to WatchWhatCrapHands.com. And over there you can find links to all our social media like Twitter and Instagram and things like that. Really fun stuff. Really – it's worth a follow.

facebook.com forward slash watch what crap happens which is where uh we and all of our listeners post every little morsel of gossip pertaining to bravo it all winds up on that facebook page and even stuff that's not gossipy like photos or things that make people think of things on bravo it's all great oh my god and speaking of has anybody posted peter's haircut yet my cousin jenna sent that to me and wow i have not seen it can't believe how hot i mean peter's always cute to me but peter oh peter vanderpump rules peter oh i'm not gonna even stop saying peter's name now i love him i thought you're talking about peter from atlanta and i was like first of all what hair does he have to cut and second of all at what point could he ever become cute from his hair look at my new haircut peter's do um but yeah someone post that because i would like to see uh vanderpump rules peter's cute is it

like finally short did he finally get rid of the mom haircut he did he shortened his hair and i mean that it's like getting a haircut gave him a facial uh microdermabrasion better eyebrows i mean the whole thing changed his whole life changed good good for good for peter um you know what good for his fiancee or his girlfriend because a good woman that's what a good woman can do for you man you see that's right clean you up clean you up and get rid of your mom haircut. So yeah, Facebook. Go to Facebook to find that photo.

If it's not there right now, it will be there, I'm sure, within moments. And of course, you can support us on Patreon.com forward slash Watch for Crappins. That's where you can sort of like subscribe to this podcast in a sense. Subscribe to Patreon and you support us and it's sort of like kickstarter where depending on how much you donate you get various rewards so um at the very least you'll get uh access to our bonus episode we do one once a week and it's really fun we've been talking about uh people versus oj simpson on it on the bonus episode a lot that was um uh we've just been here that i did i wasn't sure what that was oh sorry it won't go loud enough damn phone sorry it was sheree going why not african what oh if you send me you can send me that audio clip and i can import it into my little like crappy uh sound mixer but it's one of the ringers this week

i'm not african what yeah because so we have a bonus episode which is we had it was really fun this week i really enjoyed it and then you know at certain levels you get access to ringtones ronnie makes all these ringtones that you can put on your phone that are really fun and uh once a month and that includes tonight uh march 31st, we do a Google Hangout with our supporters. And that's really cool because we get a bunch of people on a choppy internet connection. But we all talk, like talk shit and laugh, and it goes on for about an hour. It's super fun. So that's the big Patreon pitch for the day.

And, of course, of course patreon is also how you can contribute to the crappins mailbag which we'll get to in a moment but um my last piece of housekeeping this is probably the most important thing of the week is that on monday april 4th we are doing watch what crappins live from the Hollywood Improv at 6 p.m. You may have read 7 p.m. somewhere, but it's 6 p.m. 6 p.m. at the Hollywood Improv. Everyone should come. If you're in the area, please come.

It's free. You don't have to buy any minimums or anything like that. And there are Bravo people that are coming. I believe that Craig and Brandon are coming from Newlyweds the first year. And I think they're dragging along Tara, and I believe also What's-Her-Face from season one of Newlyweds is coming as well.

Did you see that, Ronnie? Yes, Tara. No, her name's not Tara. God, that's so racist. You see, I picked the other I picked the Indian girl. That's not nice. Tina? Is her name Tina? I actually watched that season, season one of Newlyweds. Did we watch it on this show?

A little bit. A little bit. But Tina is going to be there. And then there was also talk of some Shaz of Sunset coming. I don't know who. I don't know if that's really going to happen. But, you know, at this point. Bring us Tame Gay.

Bring us Tame Gay. I want Adam the Tame Gay free-balling. Yeah. I'll make Ben not wear any underwear. Yeah, I'll do that. I will wear no underwear for this show. And then is Leah Black in town? Have we reached out to Leah?

Maybe Leah will come. I think she went home. I think she was just here for spring break. But we should give her a call. Give her a call. Oh, we should also reach out to Brandy and Julie. Maybe they'll come too. So reach across the world

Ben Call everybody Ben Yeah we're going to call every single person So I'm really excited For that To go and chat for like 45 minutes At the improv and feel cool Well let's

Talk some crap shall we be let's talk some crap i can't even do it my high register is completely gone you have to come up to noho because in noho that's when you see that's what's trying that's what's coming out right now it sounds like you're receiving a special transmission from somewhere. I'm making out with Lisa's sea lion. It actually just sounds like a modem. So anyway, speaking of transmissions, let's open up the Krappen's mailbag, shall we? Could you hear it? Sometimes I get paranoid that you can't hear it uh yeah i can hear it because remember that one time you couldn't hear it and i was like dong dong dong dong and you're

what's happening first of all by the way with the crappin's mailbag betsy betsy betsy betsy was like i wrote in and you didn't and you didn't you didn't say it I was ignored but Betsy we can't find where your crappin's mailbag where your submission is we looked we can't find it so resend it resend

because it got lost it got lost in the mail don't resend it resend it okay now I know that anybody watching Vanderpump rules these days might have trouble understanding english but oh that's true right there yeah yeah so um someone committed a federal crime reached into the crappin's mailbag and stole your piece of mail so we have to burden you with sending it back in and we'll read it next week they took the 50 out of your meemaw's birthday card thanks a lot post office yeah oh jesus um so kelly paper uh says after binging

on housewives episodes today i'm thinking about housewives fashion especially kyle seems to have brought everyone to dubai solely to show off her Moo Moo collection. There was also a post on Jezebel this week about the fashion disasters that are the OC. Also, I know it's not in the US yet, but the Melbourne Housewives were on the beach, and all but one kept their heels on in the sand.

So that's what Kelly said. Oh, wait, no. She says, I hit enter by accident. Here's the question. I was like, okay. She's like, I'm here accident. Here's the question. I was like, okay. She's like, I'm here to leave you a news update. Yeah. Thank you for listening. Fashion's terrible.

Goodbye. No, Kelly continues. She says, ac, hit enter by accident. So here's my question. I know you're not fashion experts, but in your opinion, which housewives have the best and worst style? My best dress. This is hers. This is Kelly saying,

my best dress would be pre-Limes Yolanda and Luann because I'm a sucker for turquoise or a good statement necklace. My worst would be Eileen, of course, and Tamara Famosi. Love your show and thanks for all the laughs and keeping me amused here in Singapore. Holler, Singapore. That's my Meemaw street. I brought up Meemaw twice today.

I need to call and see if she's okay but when i was growing up she lived on sycamore no it's singapore i mean singapore 902 to something singapore love it singapore 90210 i love that show could you imagine el paso's version of 90210 okay so the best and worst fashions yeah i think you're darn uh i think yolanda i think actually yolanda pre and during lime like you could say we can say a lot of things about yolanda lord knows we have but one thing we can never say is that she is not stylish she always looks fantastic i mean even yolanda knows an earth tone i mean that woman she can find any color you throw at her in an earth tone version

and i like that she's got like a j crew even though you know it costs like 50 million dollars version of j crew but she's still got that earth tony j crew smart lines even her stupid white jeans are very nice i just need her to change them occasionally because i can smell her butt crack from here yeah and i agree luann has great style i would also uh i would also uh say something for uh sonia morgan she always looks great good style she does she looks great in that way she's that kind of lady who started dressing like she was 60 when she was 35 and she just kind of kept it it's like uh jenna maroney on uh 30 rock how uh she's telling everyone that it's her like 60th

birthday so that way people say wow you look fantastic for 60 for 60 yes i do that too i say i'm older so that people are like whoa really you look great i think that sonja has great style to be honest i think she just and you know honestly by and large with the exception of a few missteps i think ramona has good style too ramona i don't even think i can remember one thing she's ever worn because she horrifies me with her eyes like her her crazy eyes and she just makes me so nervous every time i see her that i don't even think i the only thing i remember her ever wearing is another scene she horrified me in which was when she was massaging mario and trying to have a sex scene on camera

and then that weird like fishing net bathing suit she wore this past season oh yeah that was that i mean i i she's not great but i think she's actually better than than than we like realize you know like we sort of we sort of uh overlook the fact that she wears a lot of really sharp stuff. And I would say that New York City as a whole, they are the best dressed cast. Probably followed by Beverly Hills, perhaps. Oh, no. You know, Beverly Hills has a lot of good things going for it. A lot of bad.

But, oh, my God. You've got Kyle and eileen on the same show yeah well there's no way i'm just saying what's number two you know there's no one i mean this is there anyone between beverly hills and new york i mean you can't say oc you can't say atlanta you certainly can't say jersey's probably the bottom atlanta's probably my favorite dress even though they're not the best dress but i mean come on those that shit that phedra wears is amazing she that one where she looked like a doily chandelier so many classics you know i think actually if if it weren't for karen huger i think potomac is actually a pretty well-dressed cast but karen just brings everything down um okay so the worst dress i don't even know that we can

i think potomac but that's not fair because I feel like they're poorer. I think for real that Potomac, they generally are well-dressed, but Karen is so off-the-charts bad. That blue thing of fabric that's wrapped around her during the interviews,

that is just... She can't decide between that old pelican-looking Muppet. What's that blue Muppet's name that's very grumpy? I think he does the news. Sam. She can't decide between Sam or like ho-Sam.

Like sometimes she'll wear stiletto heels and a mini-mini, a micro-mini or whatever. She just can't decide. She's crazy. Now, I think that definitely a great case could be made for eileen i i think the thing about eileen is that it's not she's just so kind of like outdated and outclassed by the rest of her cast which makes her just look worse but if you're really going for like the worst dress i mean is must have we forgotten theresa judice and her like mad max feather dress that she wore in interviews oh that was amazing see when they're terrible but they make an effort i applaud them like eileen just doesn't make an

effort and i don't even hate her fashion because she works so much like she has a real blue collar job okay so to me i'm like okay ross dress for less i get it i mean she's working on her hair god bless her she reads the twitter or whatever and you can see that she's added some extensions and she's added some like she's trying she's making an effort it's it's a terrible one and she's never gonna win it which i think makes me like it. Yeah. Weird. Yeah. I feel like Eileen is just more like, yeah, she is trying.

She just doesn't know any better. Whereas like Teresa, when she wears shit like that, that's actually like, she thinks that is like amazing. That's like, that is like the top dress and posh boutique. Yeah.

That took like six days and five days to create. Yeah. So my vote. Well, I mean, OC has some terrible. I mean, we cannot overlook Alexis Bellino and her fashion line. But it's cultural. Like the OC, of course they dress like that. When in Rome, you know, stab your boss with the rest of your employees 12 times or whatever.

I mean, they all look terrible. But what else are you going to buy in the OC? It's like one giant, you know, caftan store. Yeah. So Michael Horn asks, by the way, thanks, Kelly. That was a fun question. Michael Horn asks, if Vanderbump retires, what other housewife should run, sir? I think it should be Leah.

Leah, yes. Get the golf balls. Get them a check. bump retires what other housewife should run sir i think it should be leah you had a problem on your comment card well here's my problem with your comment card i don't care if you're sleeping with everyone you're all fired i don't care all right i sent this table a lovely round of drinks invoice them sir wouldn't even be there anymore because she'd walk right in and go table, a lovely round of drinks. Envoy some! Sir wouldn't even be there anymore because she'd walk right in and go, tear it down! Yeah, she would just turn it into a giant store for her handbags. Maybe Bethany could take it over and be like, what is this? Goat balls? I don't

get it. I don't get it with the brand. Sex Unique Restaurant? What's unique about goat balls? I don't get it. I see a goat ball and I'm like, okay, what is this? Is it a ball? Is it a goat? I don't see it like i see a goat ball and i'm like okay what is this is a ball is it goat it's neither it's not i don't see either a goat in it i don't see horns but it's like not a ball either i can't like play baseball with it like what is it is it cheese is it an animal like i don't get it like if i have to look at a goat ball again like i'm just gonna like be on the floor crying right now okay i'll be crying okay just like shoot me right now like my wall is up i can't look at goat balls. My wall is up. Darling, we don't do bowls anymore. Now we have goat cheese empanadas.

I don't know. What's an empanada? Is that like a thing? It's like a pouch? Is that like an envelope? Is it like something you get in the mail? What is it? I don't get it with your brand.

Seriously, my wall is up. Why am I sitting on the floor? Why am I sitting on the floor? Can I have a chair? Can I have a chair? I should be horrified. They're making you squat on the floor to eat your goat cheese empanada. Like, I don't understand.

Is this the kiddie table? Like, where are the children? If this is the kiddie table, like, why are there no kids here? Like, why would there be kids here? Like, I don't get this brand. Like, it doesn't make sense to me, okay? Like, I don't understand what this is about. But, you know, okay, it's fine.

It's yours. Okay, that's fine. It's great. If you like it, that's fine. It's great. Okay. I want all the tables to be boxes so that other people have to like sit outside of them okay because i don't care walls up don't let kristin in okay walls up boxes are up actually she should take

over pump because pump actually does have those boxes like those tent boxes on the side that's where lisa sits or with all her older gays holding her little tiny dogs that's true that's true or maybe ramona should take over now that she has experience with AOA. You know, okay. I run AOA, okay. It's a sports spot on Avenues of America. That's why it's called AOA, okay. Whoa, whoa, this is crazy, sir.

Like, this is taking me back now. Okay, I remember when I was a little girl, I remember one time going to the train station and the train stopped and I got in and I said to the conductor, thank you, sir. And Geraldine Parsons Smith said, you don't talk to the conductor. That's an adult. And she kicked me off the train and they left without me. And I never got on the train again.

Okay? I wanted to be a manager because I'm the boss so I have to, like, tell people what to do. Okay? So I was getting manager training and they were showing me how to use the squirrel and I was like, who uses a squirrel? That's crazy. Write things down.

Squirrels are animals. They have rabies. They're disgusting. One time I saw a squirrel when I was growing up, and my father threw it at my mother's head, and she got rabies. I can never use a squirrel again. Okay? Whoa, this is crazy, okay? This restaurant, Pump, this reminds me.

When I was a little girl, I had a tricycle And I wanted to go Drive it everywhere And I would ride around the town Being like Hey hey hey It's Ramona On my tricycle Hi neighbors

Hi neighbors And then one day I ran over a rock And I got a flat tire Okay So I said to my dad Dad Can you get the air pump

So I can fix my tricycle tire And Geraldine Parsons-Smith Came over and said You don't get the air pump Because I'm using it On my tricycle And I never got to ride My tricycle ever again Okay So it's really hard for me't get the air pump because I'm using it on my tricycle. And I never got to ride my tricycle ever again.

Okay. So it's really hard for me to be in this restaurant. Okay. I'm sorry. But pump is de classe. I think Yolanda can take it over. Pump is de classe. I think that Yolanda should be the boss just so she can go back to the kitchen and say, oh, there's no excuse to not know the English.

Okay. You know, you tell me the two parmes or howusen, flausen or whatever you're saying. You know, in America, we say suck my dick, okay? This is how we say. Come on. What is this flour? It's like flausenhausen. Like, why you put flour in everything?

Just put, like, lettuce, you know? Lemons and lettuce. What is this? What is this hamburger? I don't know. What is this word? Shut up. She just walks up to every table. What is this you eat? What is this?? I don't know. What is this word? Shut up. She just walks up to every table.

What is this you eat? What is this? Why you eat this? What is this food in Schmudenstein? I don't get it. Yolanda would be like my old boss, Kelly. She would work the hostess stand in the restaurant. And she'd go, hi, how are you?

Welcome. They'd be like, hi, good. How are you? And she'd go, tired. Oh, I'm so tired. And then she would start complaining to them. And they would have to stand there at the hostess stand and listen to her litany of crap. And then she would come to the tables and be like, how are you doing?

Good. How's it going? Oh, tired. It would be Yolanda. How are you doing? I'm doing terrible. Thank you for asking. You know, one day at a a time hashtag every day is a new

lime day you know i remember reading an esquire magazine that you should never ever ever ever respond to the question how are you doing with tired ever and i think that's a good rule to live by i think it is you can tell that waitress and yolanda that um just say good i'm good you know what you should never ever respond with? How are you? Never do that because people are asking you how you are to trick you into asking them how they are. Don't fall for it. Just say good.

What a lovely day, right? That's it. No, that's rude. You are supposed to say and how are you. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm in a conversation with someone and I'm asking them all the questions. They don't ask me a single question. So at least say, how are you? Well, that's usually

me. I just make them talk. What do I have to say? Nothing. I mean, on this I do because I have things to talk about. But in real life, what am I going to say? Work rocks and socks to the Whole Foods again today. The end. That's my whole life. You need to hang out with Bonnie Raitt some more. Give them something to talk about, Bonnie.

Oh, Bonnie Raitt. Lauren Grabowski says, I've been listening to older episodes because I love you guys. And we found out recently Ben was not invited to spring break in college because his frat brothers were rude sons of bitches. Oh, my God. Way to re-dramatize. No.

Come back, Ben. Come back. Why are you bringing it back? A previous episode of Watch What Crapp Is informed us listeners that Matt Whitfield was a frat brother of Ben back in the day. So Inquiring Minds wants to know, was Matt one of the excluding frat brothers during the spring breakdown of 2001? He was not because Matt and I are frat brothers on a national level.

He went to Syracuse. I went to Dartmouth. And also, he's younger than i am so i don't think we actually would oh i guess we maybe would have overlapped by one year but we both were in sigep but different chapters so he he was he was not one of the one of those rude sons of bitches who i'm still friends with and who still even listen to this podcast hi Hi, Jason. So, yeah, but that is a really funny... It's like a... Well, it was not funny at the time, but it's funny now.

Chapter of my life being not invited. It was so Real Housewives slash Lala. Yeah, I didn't even remember that you were in the same frat as Matt. Yeah. Little Matty Keens. We are both in SIGEP. Sigma Phi Epsilon. That must have been a nice frat because i like a

lot of the people that i know from your college and matt has this big group of gays here matt has a really solid group of gays i follow them all on instagram you do yes i just follow matt i don't follow instagram very much i have like yolanda matt and a couple improv people that's it and you i think i follow you on there i'm gonna hang out with matt on saturday night actually and we were just texting well thanks guys well i'm sorry it wasn't we didn't we were both invited to the same thing so yeah don't get your secret rat thing boxed out yeah secret hangout um but i was just texting with him and uh about beverly hills so i'll share a little bit of what he had to say in a bit but um theresa asks describe karen from potomac in awkward social circumstances like how would she eat a pomegranate or fender bendered or hearse or argued with mr rogers theresa always has some really really cool things theresa was the one who gave us and then ramona

walks in until yeah until it and told us to listen for, listen for Erica saying, listen, which I forgot to do. And we'll be doing that the entire run of this series. I'm sure. Yeah. And then Ramona walked in.

Yeah. Okay. Imagine. So imagine Karen Huber, Huber, Huber. I forget her name. I feel like we've talked about Karen Huber eating pomegranates before?

I think we have. Well, because you could imagine her having a lot of processes and rules for how one opens up a pomegranate. One does not just slice open a pomegranate. No, Huber's do not do that. open a pomegranate. No, Hugers do not do that. A Huger inserts a knife into the base and makes a circular cut and then reaches in and then

stuffs one's face full of pomegranate seeds. One does not pick the pomegranate seeds out of their teeth. This is not how we do it in the Huger family. Aunt Dot taught me, microwave a pomegranate for two and a half minutes. Let's test Aunt taught me. Microwave a pomegranate for two and a half minutes.

Let's test Aunt Dot and see how she likes this pomegranate. This pomegranate sucks. Karen, you're pathetic. I love her. Love that woman. You know, it's not how everyone opens up a pomegranate, but it is my preference. It's how we do pomegranates in Potomac. Luckily, I had women here to take me under their wing and show me how to open up pomegranates. And I hope to do

the same for Ashley someday, if she could ever figure out how to say pomegranate properly. Okay, listen here, pomegranate. I tried to open your base with the knife very nicely i tried cracking you on the table and you wouldn't open and then when you did what did you do there were seeds everywhere i'm done with you i am done with that is it no more bye-bye pet a panda pomegranate this was supposed to be a pomegranate meal okay and next i know a banana's's here, alright? And you never said anything about a banana, and I feel uncomfortable with a banana. I'm sorry. I'm going home. I'm going home. I don't feel comfortable with a banana. And what did you say

when I said I don't like the banana? In the center of the table at my birthday. How could you not put the pomegranate in the middle? I mean, this is the basic rules of etiquette. Oh, Karenaren please change please okay we have one last question and then we're done with all the questions of the week except for betsy's which is lost um uh oliver oh oliver oliver is very funny he says no question just two observations this week oh this will be even easier one

ben's rena impression always reminds me of an old telegram, except he replaced the word stop with baby. For example, consider the following proposed Rinna defense to Yolanda for the reunion. Ben, read this in Rinna voice. Okay. Okay. Yolanda, you've been sick, baby. You've been confused, baby.

You've been so confused that you've had trouble writing your line speech, baby. As a result, you've confused my apology for discussing Munchausen for an been confused, baby. You've been so confused that you've had trouble writing your line speech, baby. As a result, you've confused my apology for discussing Munchausen for an accusation, baby. But I forgive you because you've been sick, baby. A.K.A. the I'm not crazy, you are defense, baby. It's true. It is like a telegram. The Rhinogram. And then Oliver's other observation is Yolanda drinks a lot of caffeinated coffee for someone with so many health concerns.

Well, hey, look, you got to replace eating with something, OK? Yeah. I mean, everything's bad for you. Food is worse. Let the woman have her coffee. Every good model knows that when the going gets tough, coffee and cigarettes, no matter what. Right. Yep. Every time. How do you think Gigi was raised? Those babies were raised with nicotine.

That's why they're always tired. Nicotine in the breast milk. Anyway, that was a nice long mailbag. What you want to talk about first, Ben? I mean, we have to talk about Beverly Hills, right? It was insane.

I mean, it was insanely hilarious. I would love to discuss Beverly Hills. That was one of my favorite episodes of Hilltom. It's a classic. Ronnie, I have to stop you. I have something I have to stop you. I have something I have to get off my chest. I know we said we weren't going to talk about it. We're going to put this

to bed, but I guess I'm just not resolved about this. But I feel like you were very manipulative on this podcast. And I did not appreciate how you walked up to me,onnie and said why am i not dragging kyle richards into this podcast and then you lied about it do you remember when i called

you a web designer and you were like me a web designer hardly and then you started explaining how you created a fantastic looking website using weebly oh my god you know even though you told me at that party i still can't believe how easy weebly makes wait ronnie i'm sorry i have to get something off my chest again oh weebly was created for people with the courage to start their own business baby and dream to be their own boss, baby. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. You know, I don't know if you've seen Sex and the City, baby, but in Sex and the City, they didn't need a web designer

or know how to code to create a beautiful website, blog, or online store, baby. Sweet! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I can't listen to this bullshit anymore, okay? I can't, okay? When we were in the Hamptons, I specifically told you that we were all very impressed

with the wide variety of professionally designed, mobile-friendly themes to choose from, and you didn't say anything to it. You didn't even apologize. Oh. Darling, you just simply drag and drop. That's all. That's all I was saying.

I didn't say you had an affair. I just said simply drag and drop your affair to quickly. That's all I was saying. I didn't say you had an affair. I just said simply drag and drop your affair to quickly build and publish your website. It's too easy. That's all I'm saying, Tony. Hold on. I have something to get off my chest. I just you know,

I just feel that you can truly customize and update and change your site anytime you want, baby. On any device, baby. Even Harry Hamlin can do it, baby. Join the over 30 million people who are already dreaming big with Weebly. Who invited Sheena to do this? It's 30 today for free.

At weebly.com slash watch. That's W-E-B-L-Y dot com slash watch. Weebly dot com slash watch. Weemly dot com slash watch. Why should we do that? How does that make you feel, going to Weebly? That was such a seamless move from the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and into pump rules from the pump uncensored to, like, it was a seamless move. No one even knew that Real Housewives of Beverlyly hills had ended the new show had started i'm like yes we did know because we could see it

was like 10 0 6 p.m and obviously the new show had begun we knew because we have never seen um a bravo cast member walk to the back and stand in front of a kitchen to do a monologue okay we knew um well uh that was a great weebly ad and it kind of like uh recapped the entire beverly hills and stand in front of a kitchen to do a monologue. Okay, we knew. Well, that was a great Weebly ad. It kind of like recapped the entire Beverly Hills episode. But wow. So this episode, this is the episode where Lisa Vanderpump, ooh, she's held to the fire.

Oh, man. Did she deserve it or did she not? I don't know. It's up for debate. But we can at least begin in the beginning, right, with Lisa and Kyle going to swim sea lions. This entire episode was basically Vanderpump porn. It was like every kind of animal she got to cuddle up with, make out with, give the number, put it on Tinder, get a sample to send to Ken. I'm like, geez, lady. Yeah, I feel bad for Ken because

by the time she gets back to Dubai, it's going to be full-on zoo on that property. She's like, oh, okay, I'm going to send it to Ken. All I was trying to say about your affair was, can you help me get a camel onto the plane? That's all I was trying to say, darling. That's all I wanted to know. I just wanted to know if you had enough strength

after your infidelities to carry a camel. And I don't mean a cigarette. I mean an actual camel. Now, are we eating one of the camels that we rode in on, or did Eileen steal it, keep it for herself, and lie about it for three years? What? I thought it was all out there.

Who's out there? Why, darling? It was out there. You are trying to manipulate me into petting a camel and I'm not going to do it, baby. I'm not going to be your scapegoat. Oh, that reminds me. I want to have a goat on the property. A goat. And it ended up being lamb.

Hummus, baba ganoush. Lamb, goat. Who knows? Who knows the difference? Who needs the difference in Beverly Hills, darling? Yeah. Rinna was just a little repeaty, repeaty box. All she said was, as you mentioned yesterday, you were texting me like, gee, do you think Rinna has to get something off of her chest?

Yeah. It was like every scene. Like in that first scene when they went to the spa. I'm surprised she didn't tell the spa attendant. You know, I have something I have to get off my chest. I just feel so guilty about talking about Yolanda. And I've been manipulated. And the woman's like, do you want a scrub down or do you want a facial? Would you like me to avoid your ass cheeks or get right in there?

I have to get something off my chest. I do want it in the ass cheeks, yes. I have to get something off my chest. I had microdermabrasion in my ass cheeks today. It was amazing, baby. And I own it. I own it. This spa attendant, I literally own the spa attendant.

I bought her. I own my bleached cornhole lisa rena said sex in the city 20 times i need to get something off my chest 36 times and scapegoat i think like 49 times she just kept saying scapegoat over and over again scapegoat baby scapegoat scapegoat scapegoat i down, Fitz. I will not go down. Listen, Lisa. Now, you know I'm a big Lisa Rinna fan, but, like, what are you going down for? Yolanda's mad at you. That's it.

Like, you're not going down for anything. Everyone likes you. Rinna and Eileen were both fucking ridiculous. They are whipping themselves into a tizzy. They really are. I'm sick of taking the bullet. What bullet have you taken, bitch? Name one.

Yeah. All that's happened is you haven't gotten an apology, which is admittedly frustrating. And Lisa, you've been manipulated. But you're not – like, everyone – no one's like, oh, that fucking bitch Lisa Rinna. I think the only thing that's making us think less of Rinna is how she's being so cock-a-doodle-doo about this. Just relax. Calm down. You need to get some Kim D in your life to walk up to you and be like, calm down.

Calm down. Kim D. Remember? Oh, no. It was Kim G. I'm sorry. Is it Kim D? Kim D talks like this.

She'd be like, calm down. If you're going to fight, do it at a fashion show. Yeah. I'm sorry. it was Kim G. But she does need some Kim D, too. Like, I would like to see some hair bangs on Rinna. Oh, Kim G. I don't understand why everyone's so mad at me.

Why is everyone so mad at me all the time? I didn't do nothing. It's like you just ruined everybody's life. I can't come to your Christmas party? No one has ever thrown a napkin down and discussed the way Kim G did. She made a point. I'm actually liking Lisa Rinna more because she's just so Looney Tunes. Oh, yeah. This episode really, really displayed her Looney Tunes-ness.

I mean, just the repeating things. And then when her biggest line of the season has been, If you take me down, I will take you down in flames with me, baby. And to find out that that was just her repeating someone else's line, and then later she just repeated it as her own line like it was hers now. Like, you crazy bitch. You listening to yourself? I know.

She's hilarious. So I actually asked good old Matt woodfield whose side he was on because of course i had to know he is uh he's on rena's side he loves rena and eileen's relationship and he is uh he's pro rena anti bender pump these days so um that's that's that's matt woodfield's perspective on it wait he's anti who he's pro rena and anti who bender pump oh how funny oh we need to get him on when you see him tell him to get on i keep asking him and he's like okay i'll get back to you and then he never gets back to me okay because i wasn't in your fucking frat yeah tell him call

me back i want him on here all right we'll see if maybe we can get him on next week i'll ask him um but uh anyway why don't we start at the top of the show? So the women split up to do three different things. Kyle and Lisa went to go play with sea lions. Eileen and Erica went to look at fish. And then Lisa, Rinna, and Catherine went to go to the spa. And Eileen was rather upset because the fish she was looking at were the same fish that she could see from her bedroom. She's rather unimpressed by it and quite frankly she deserved an apology.

That swordfish? I will not look at that swordfish until he comes to me and apologizes properly. It's like, I'm sorry! Nope, that's not it. That's not what I wanted. I want it worded differently. I'm sorry! Nope. That's wrong. I'm. I want it worded differently. I'm sorry. Nope, that's wrong.

I'm taking a bullet for you, Swordfish. The Swordfish is like, so tell us about the first time you saw the diver in the tank. And she's like, I don't like what you're insinuating. That made me uncomfortable and I'd like an apology, please. I'm sorry that I mentioned the diver. That's not an apology. I'm surprised she's not asking for an apology from the diver because she said the diver i was getting ready and the diver was there in my room because he was on the other side of the glass and she took a selfie and you got and he is looking right at her he's like waving yeah you gotta feel bad for him because god bless him what did he see even the diver in dubai is like what the fuck is she wearing like you can

see the horror behind his goggles he's like oh my god this is my favorite scene of little mermaid when ursula shows up you know eileen they're not going to give you a new scenery to shoot in front of when you're still talking about the same shit you've talked about every scene you've ever been on this entire season shut up meanwhile erica jane uh famed accuser of web spinning is like so like lisa rilla she was really enraged and rage is a big word it's a big wow that's a big word i mean i don't give a fuck that's a big word oh you're poking by the way enrage is not a big word i I'm sorry. It's really not. It's two syllables. Yeah.

And I hate when people say, that's a big word. That's a big word. Shut up. Get a dictionary. You're a lawyer's wife. That's a big word. That's a big word. I love Erica's, I don't give a fuck for everything she does now.

Like, she does, I don't even know why she's still on here. Because most of the time she's like. Oh fish. They go see this aquarium. They walk in front. Wow look at the fish. Whoa look at the green one. No emotion.

I don't give a fuck. There's fish in Dubai. Right. Guess what. There's fish in Los Angeles too. Sometimes I eat them. I don't give a fuck. Their conversation was completely surprising to me.

Oh, it does mean. Well, what about Vanderpump? It's like, oh, fast forward. Even the fish are bored. Sebastian's like, move on. Under the sea. Oh, shut these bitches up. He's like, everything used to be better where it was wetter.

But now these bitches came along. Ugh, we're going to land. Newsflash, every mermaid has crawled out of the sea and now has legs. Thank you for killing the mermaid species, housewives. Yeah.

Oh my goodness. Look at the green one. Oh my goodness. Look at the green one. Look at these things. Aren't they great? I mean, I don't give a fuck. I don't need to be part of that world.

One thing I wrote down was, this conversation happens in front of a wall of pea brains wandering around aimlessly, opening and closing their big puffy lips, hoping they'll find something to chew on. Unfortunately, the irony is lost on these two that is a good line oh those two my god so then we go back to you know whatever anybody whatever side you come down on i know people are like you're always well vanderpump fuck you and you know you're right i'll i'll cop to that yeah but whatever side you're on at least the other two were having fun

what did they talk about not you they just had fun making out with sea things and you know kyle acted scared and got a kissing picture with the sea lion like yeah that's all they did they just had fun lisa tried to get kyle into a wetsuit which probably i mean we just saw every day of marizio's life by the way i liked when they showed the close-up of the sea lion going around in circles. I was like, oh, Kim. He's doing the Kim. How dare you speak of Kim on the same day that you were too tired to come to my party? Kim on the same day that you were too tired to come to my

party. And Ren and Catherine the same way. Poor Catherine. At this point, look, I had my moments of hating Catherine but it happens with everybody that I hate on these shows. I get used to them and then I start liking them. Me too. I'm totally I'm totally... I'm sorry.

No, no. That's all I had to say. It's the same thing. I mean, I just like her now. That no that's all I had to say it's the same thing I mean I just like her now that's it yeah I have I have found in the past like two or three episodes I've grown to like her she sort of is just like she's just like there and she just sort of seems like she's along for the ride and observing everything and as we'll get to later and this has nothing to do with my revelation that I texted Ronnie about that I realized that Catherine and I are the same person but that's not why i like her but because we both have the same everything she says on the show is stuff that

i've been saying and she likes food and she likes hot black football players so we are basically the same person and i was like at first a little bit horrified by that but the truth is i actually i do like her though she's just yeah you were watching a little before me and i didn't get what you were saying because i was like you are nothing like that woman trust and then she said i think 20 lines that you said on the show like verbatim i also like her for little things i mean i look at the little things on these shows like when she's walking up to the hot tub or whatever to be in the hot tub with rena and she's like oh this is loverly well that's on my fair lady reference you know and i just feel like she's the eliza d little that never made it to the end of act one she just seemed stupid and classless and you know that's a much shorter

much more entertaining musical and i'm down yeah i't know. There's something sort of goofy about her now that I'd like to see. I feel like I've come to see her value as just this goofy person who's just so excited to be in the mix and will say anything and do anything just to just to be along for the ride, you know? Yeah. And also she stopped talking phonally about her stupid money that she's never made. That makes me that's the thing I hate the most when she's like oh it's my personal jeweler and my shut up but this stuff i mean i'm liking her now also maybe just because she's quiet yeah at this point she's not really even saying anything i think that's the only way to win sometimes on these shows yeah well i mean she's also the only one i will get to it in a bit but she's the only one who really is like seems to

see what's really happening like and we'll get to that but she seems to have a pretty good perspective because basically it's the perspective that we both have so we agree with her so now we like her you see some people call that hypocritical and some people just call it fluid brains that are able to change their minds okay yeah i stand by it yeah so so kyle and kyle and lisa are are playing with the sea lion eileen and erica are by the fish and eileen is again being totally manipulative and trying and like brewing things up between rena and erica you know it's just and it's so stupid it's like yet another thing eileen is not involved in and in this one neither is erica i mean it's just stupid we're gonna have a whole fight about the word enraged are you fucking

kidding me lady yeah like why would rena be so mad about that why would rena be because eileen at that moment was sort of mad because she's at that moment she was mad at rena because rena had not joined her team yet so she was started she was starting to turn erica against rena but you know obviously that changes um lisa with that sea lion going oh so romantic and then kyle's moment with the sea lion where it talked and it came out of the water and it was like i was like i love a sea lion they've got instincts like a dog. Bite her! Yeah, but I did just hear that that sea lion is the new bartender at Sur, so that's pretty exciting.

I can't wait to meet him. So, sea lion, you got a new rack this season, and you're a horrible human being. How do you feel about that? But Lisa, how could you hire a sea lion to be a bartender? Well, the tins are always full. It's a great part. It's so hard to find

good help. So he takes your keys sometimes. He's doing it to be funny. Throw an orange, he'll catch it in his mouth, darling. Darling, just tip him in fish, that's all. He's really great. He has these wonderful in-depth conversations with Jax.

It's so great for them to have buddies. The difference between Vanderpump and these two shows and that they air right after each other is crazy. I mean, seeing how she is. Well, I mean, two days. The date. Next day or whatever. Seeing the difference between Lisa is so funny because she's really, at this point, she's like almost two different people on these shows because she's just

afraid to even talk half the time on the housewives show. Yeah. The other one, she's like, Oh darling, it's because you're an awful person. It doesn't mean I don't love you. You're terrible darling.

If you committed suicide, there would be no statues for you, but that's why I love you. Do you understand darling? She could bring that to this, but man, those people's heads would pop off i mean they're still talking about enraged oh yeah seriously okay so now we get a scene with eileen and rinna um these rooms by the way now that it's the second week and i'm used to the rooms they just look like really shitty radisson lobbies. Yeah. I don't like it. They do.

They do. And this is this is when Eileen is mad at Rinna, right? For not being brave. How dare she? When she's, you know, she wasn't winning. And then Rinna's trying to semi stick up for herself and say, yeah, but why are you telling me that I have to repeat a private conversation in front of everybody, baby? Like, it's just venting. And she's like, here's what I'm worried about.

You're not brave. Oh. And then Rinna's such a sucker. She's like, okay, I'll do it. Oh, idiot. Rinna, who does not want to be manipulated, was just completely manipulated by Eileen to go against Lisa Vanderpump. Eileen really came out of the closet in so many ways in this show

because it's not like she's been secretly trying to manipulate. She's been doing it blatantly. against lisa vanderpump eileen really came out of the closet in so many ways in this show because it's not like she's been secretly trying to manipulate she's been doing it blatantly so that's no new thing but yeah some of the stuff she let come out of her mouth this week when she's yelling at rena rena's i love their phony la actor relationship where they're like i love you i love you but here's why i hate your guts you know and then they talk yeah but eileen actually says i have been working i have been trying to pound lisa vanderpump into the ground this entire season and oh and then you just all sit back and let me take the bullet and i'm sick of it you feel like a scapegoat i'm a scapegoat. You've been pounding her down all season.

Exactly. And no one supported you. Exactly. You just proved everything everybody's been saying about you. And you don't even realize. Like you're too dumb to even see what you just said. Yeah, well, because she doesn't want to seem like a bitch. And the subtext there is that in the court of public opinion, it's not amongst these women.

She doesn't want to be seen on the show as a bitch. opinion it's not amongst these women she doesn't want to be seen on the show as a bitch and yet she feels like she's being a bitch because she's keeps trying to get this apology that she's never going to get and the more she tries the bitcher she looks which is true and i mean it really we've never we've never uh we've never said it wasn't frustrating that she didn't get the apology and we've always said that lisa vanderpump didn't really apologize properly but we also said that eileen never really addressed what her issues were really not until this episode this is the first episode where she finally really said this is what bothered me about it you know yep oh i can't wait till we get to that part yeah um so let's see aileen litany of non-issues to

work up rena with which is so true she's like the coach in Rocky, just trying to convince a rubber-faced idiot to throw punches so she can make a few bucks. Yeah. And it's so sad. Rinna, poor Rinna. She's like, okay, I'll do it, baby. She's like waiting to get this pat on the head for it every time she does it. She's like, no, you did it wrong. Oh, okay.

What do I say again? Poor Rinna. She's all turned around i mean she is getting manipulated by everyone and she's just she's just like a like like something with like a hose that's like going off that it's like spewing like water all over the room i can't you know we know what you know what those i can't think of what machine it is, but there's some machine out there where the hose comes loose and it spins around everywhere, right? Like that. Like a faucet. That makes me think – I was exhaling coffee vape. That reminds me of those little things in the yard that we used to have in the yard at Meemaw's.

Okay, there's Meemaw three times. I'm calling her. God, I hope she's okay. Meemaw Meemaw. Those hose things in the yard and they would swing all around like octopus hoses. Do you know what I mean? It was like running in the sprinkler, but they were like multiple little hose things. That's Lisa Rinna.

Yeah, it's like I feel like the thing I'm trying to imagine, I don't actually know what it is. I'm just imagining something where there's normally some sort of tubing that's locked into something, and it comes loose. And with the machine, the tubing goes flying everywhere. And Lisa Renna juice goes everywhere. So basically one of Kyle's outfits. Someone help me with this metaphor, because I am dying here, baby. I am dying with my metaphor. You manipulated me into dying.

My house metaphor, baby. Listen, baby, my metaphor is not coming together. And I own it, baby. And I want Lisa Vanderpump to own it, too, baby. Rinna says – oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were done. No, no, no. I'm the worst.

Damn it. I'm blaming Skype. I'm owning it. It's Skype's fault, baby. Baby, I can't believe you didn't drag Kyle Richards into it, baby. Rinna says things I don't even think she remembers and she says them like five seconds ago but she goes uh i like lisa vanderpump and so i've really made an effort this entire season baby to not jump in with everybody else to call her manipulative um yes you have you've been ring leading this

whole shit for like what two months now yeah come on lady yeah you know the funny thing is uh some of our listeners complain that lisa rena never has a storyline she just like latches on to someone else's storyline to make it her own but the truth is it's two seasons now where lisa rena has driven like the main craziness of the story, right? She's the one. She may not have anything going on in her life, but she damn well keeps the story going for the show. Because, I mean, this whole thing is because of Lisa Rinna, you know? I know.

Between Yolanda. It's like Yolanda, Lisa. Last season, it was Lisa driving the charge about Kim Richards. Wanda, Lisa, last season it was Lisa driving the charge about Kim Richards. You know, whether you believe that she was right in doing so or wrong or yada, yada, yada, Lisa Rinna has been in the center of the show. And I think that not even doing it on purpose, she's really stayed with the theme of the show, which is about fighting over the stupid shit anybody's ever heard of. I mean, this fight is so small and and stupid and they're making it this huge thing and that's so good you know i don't think she did that on purpose no i don't think so it's actually like hard to track the fight because the fight has gone and it's so strange and it's like

academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my holla harold a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power,

money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about

or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app

or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. You know, it's like not even like a

snowballing, but it's like it was like a snowball that turned into three snowballs and then the three snowballs ran into each other and became a larger snowball and then became two snowballs it's like i'm like i can't follow with i can't follow the snowballs baby but they're not even snowballs it's like one ball started running down a snow hill and then it got like a tin can connected to it and then like a toy car and nothing makes sense but it's still coming at you full force and you know you should be scared but you don't know why i have a game called a video game called katamara damasi and it's about this like this little guy who has a little ball and he rolls the ball around and it just anything

it rolls over it collects so it's like little nails or like paper clips and then the more collects the bigger it gets and the bigger the bigger this ball of junk becomes, the stronger it becomes. And then it starts, like, picking up, like, street signs and houses and then mountains. It just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And that's what this is. It's like a snowball made of junk. Yeah, she's a spiritual snowball made of junk. Yeah.

She's a spiritual, what do you call it, Porsche Jirasi. What is the name of the game? Oh, Katamari. Katamari. Katamari Damacy, which by the way has it's a crazy Japanese game and it has such an amazing theme song that I downloaded it and I do listen to it.

Let's just re-dub over that shit for a new watcher. It goes la la la la la la la la la la la la la. So good. Oh, Rinna. We should just start playing that in our heads whenever Rinna comes on the screen. Just sucking up everything. Wait, let me find it. Let me find it.

This will be the new Lisa Rinna theme song. It's very Lisa Rinna. I mean. Baby. I'm in. theme song the story leads to Rinne baby own it own it baby that's a big intro I'm not gonna get a stick from baking isn't this like

the most amazing own it baby own it own it own it baby it's not the house own it baby own it own it own it baby we're gonna roll this up into a big ball of junk and get a band of them in the middle of it okay i'll stop it because it's just going on and on i'm sorry everyone so good that's really good i like it it's really good we didn't even get to the chorus but the because it's just going on and on I'm sorry everyone That's really good I like it

It's really good we didn't even get to the chorus It's like Baby The song just stops Baby I love saying baby in rhythm It's very freeing Okay so next

The ladies gather in the van To go to wherever they're going to. And they're all kind of wearing their new things. Erica's wearing some, you know, big old raccoon makeup. Erica's gaze really did her up today. I mean, they're at least earning their money. She's got 10 inches of makeup on. You know, I mean, I'm so glad she got that nice braid.

It really was worth probably the $50,000 she spent flying them to Dubai. No kidding. It was totally worth the three dead gay guys that didn't come back with me. I don't give a fuck. I spent $50,000 sending them to Dubai and they got thrown out of jail and were killed. I don't give a fuck.

I got a nice braid. Get me another gay color with his brows colored bikey. I don't give a fuck. Wish they immediately put a headdress over. This was really cruel what they did to Kyle. They're being mean to Kyle, which of course I love because I want to be mean to Kyle at all times as well because Kyle is the worst. But they're mean because I feel like production. God, that's so Kyle too.

That's mean. I feel like production does mean things to her like they make her sit right behind erica on the bus the one who's always telling us that she eats so much but i mean she really doesn't she's like i eat i don't give a fuck and then her braid looks like a big old holla bread on the back of her head and poor kyle has to stare at this. Challah. Challah back braid. Challah. So she is talking.

What are they talking? Okay. While we're talking about crazy fashions, Lisa Vanderpump, don't go to Dubai and then dress for Easter. That is a Christian holiday. Are you nuts, lady? She's wearing like some pink Easter dress and then one of her gigantic white bonnets. And she's telling everybody, oh, we saw sea lions today. And it was so romantic.

And then she closes her eyes and starts like kissing herself on the cheek with her hands. And people look horrified. I mean, just the screenshots of people looking at her like who the fuck is this woman yeah the imaginary sea lion is the only thing that's ever gotten under that bonnet in like six seasons oh god so then they so they drove out to the desert uh where they met carlton from season four which i thought was really cool uh she was out there i'm talking about i'm sorry that was gizmo the falcon my notes were wrong i'm sorry oh carlton um so they completely uncalled for that was anti-religious right there, you bigots.

So the best is they see a falcon demonstration, and Erica, of course, is like, well, falcons everywhere. I saw a falcon in LA. I once saw a falcon eat a pigeon. I don't give a fuck. Catherine, I have fucked so many falcons. I almost married one. No, the bird, darling. She's like, you know, bierman and i are very similar

people they're like this is the falcon show uh and what they did was throw meat around and made the falcon like fly into it and i just looked at kyle's face and i thought kyle is actually

dreaming of learning to fly right now this is what happens when the fat burger truck shows up at their parties they throw the burger around and kyle goes they put they attach the burger to a string and they swing it around like a like a bola and then she goes chasing after it's like monkey in the middle it's like like Kyle in the middle, tossing the fat burger. So good. I know there could ever be a visual metaphor for this show.

It is that Falcon chasing the meat on the string. Totally. It's like me being swung around by some random guy. And then, you know, people coming in for the dive. I have to say that Rinna driving, cause they rode in that Jeep or whatever wait did they already do that?

they rode in the Jeep several times so you know they leave Dubai for their day trip when they're leaving and Lisa Rinna goes it is crazy baby you leave this city like one minute you're in the city and then before you know it you're in the desert

you live in Los Angeles I'm surprised Erika Jayne wasn't like I live in the city and then before you know it you're in the desert uh bitch you live in los angeles i'm surprised erica jane wasn't like oh i learned the city now we're in a desert like i don't give a fuck i've seen different lands before like i've been to vegas i've seen cities and deserts i don't give a fuck eileen's the only one who gets it she's like oh my god there's the indian casino don't stop so um so then after the Falcon demonstration, they wind up going to sort of like a little dinner set up. I don't know if it was like Bedouin style, whatever. But so they're served these little drinks, these little delicious looking drinks. And my favorite is before they found out what it is, they were all having this sudden game of who likes it the most. Because it was like, oh, I like it.

I like it. I like it. Oh, no, I like it. It's kind of hot chocolatey. I don't give a fuck. I go to Starbucks. I can drink anything. I can even drink cold chocolate.

I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I don't care if it's hot or cold. How about like lukewarm chocolate? I don't care. Who's Luke? I don't care. I don't give a fuck who Luke is is is it pronounced well they couldn't i don't give a fuck they couldn't uh

have liquor i don't know who would schedule a housewives dinner on a night that you can't have liquor by law but yeah there's like two nights in a row and they all start going nuts they're like what how are we gonna do this and then he goes i i would take anything right now to get through this dinner i mean i would even drink a glass of rosé oh good good wine preference burn eileen even have rosé well um well what they were actually drinking camel milk and it was kind of funny because as soon as they found out it was camel milk they were like oh i'm like you don't like it keep drinking it i would drink it i'm gonna go fuck i was just thinking camel's milk tastes like hot chocolate get me a camel yeah exactly well when i

went to the oc fair they uh they had camels there because of course there are camels in orange county and uh apparently there's a camel farm like in tustin or something and they they like make camel milk and camel cheese and everything apparently it's supposed to be like actually like really healthy and good for you and good for the environment i don't know it's like good people you know i guarantee in five years camels camel's milk will be the next trendy thing and these women will be ruining the day that they turn their nose up at hot camel chocolate i just think it's hard to to uh kill or drink from an animal with such nice eyelashes i mean they're gluing that shit on it's hard to to uh kill or drink from an animal with such nice

eyelashes i mean they're gluing that shit on it's like killing your goal eyelashes they can't do it look even brooke shields is breastfed before people drink the milk from nice lashes um so next up kyle's spirit animal what did i miss what i missed no no no i don't know i was is this about the camel meat oh no i was just gonna no kyle spirit animal the camel is cooked no kyle spirit animal the uh the dancer lady who came out looking like kyle in a moo moo and then did that hair swing around her long ass hair around i know i love that i love how they intercut that with erica jane's performance in san diego and they like they they intercut the bit like the the dancer with erica jane's performance oh that's so good which would get them all murdered in this town but i didn't really get that intercutting but i loved watching

them dancing i was cracking up i made a good gift of it i know that um and then this is when for when dinner was served they're like oh does anyone want camel meat and they're like and then katherine's like i'll try it and for some reason the way she's just like yeah because she truly was i don't give a fuck as opposed to erica saying i don't give a fuck and i sort of was like yeah you go have that camel meat katherine yeah admit that's another thing that made me like her because i hate when americans on these shows go go anywhere they're like it's like just eat it you're in dubai they just stoned a woman this morning for saying the go anywhere and they're like, eww, well, snails, eww, camel milk, eww.

It's like, just eat it. You're in Dubai. They just stoned a woman this morning for saying the F word. Like, you can get through a camel milk. Yeah.

Although, you know, the entire time I kept on thinking, I don't know if you did this, but I was imagining if the real housewives of Orange County were there instead. Because do you remember how they, you know,

anytime they eat anything that's like not from, you know, the macaroni grill, they act like, they're like, they're like, e eat anything that's like not from you know the macaroni grill they act like they're like like oh what's this it's a shrimp like oh has a tail on it and they like play with it and they dangle it in front of each other's faces i was just imagining them at this meal being like hummus what like i don't get it but chickpeas like they're chicks in here the baby chicks like what that's so good even the orange, like, they don't even have to leave town to be like that.

At least most people have to go out of the country or something. Those bitches are ignorant with stuff from, like, you know, the Greek place down the street. Yeah, you know that, like, Vicky would have been doing her fake, like, mama thing. She'd be doing it. And now we're laughing. I think secretly we want it. Well, I'm just glad that this woman didn't go total Kyle and do the splits. Because she'd be walking around with a choach full of sand.

She probably had a sister who did that who's no longer with us. They're like, we heard this. It's like the 901 tapes in Dubai. We have a report of a split up on 323 Main Street. I love that it's 323 Main Street in Dubai. Someone's doing a split. That's like Dubai cops. We got a report someone's doing splits.

Was it the guy? Rule number 72, broken. Kill the bitch. Was it the guy doing splits? No. Was it the guy? Roll number 72, broken. Kill the bitch. Was it the guy doing splits? No. Was it a girl? Yeah. Okay, sorry.

You're going to get stoned now. On science, don't hedge. So let's see. I'm looking through camel. I'm looking through the camel stuff. I have to get something off my chest, baby. Yeah, this is... Okay, so Lisa Rinna. She... Well, no, actually, off my chest baby yeah this is oh yeah so lisa rinna

she well no actually i'm sorry but this is i can't she got a few things off her chest but this first one she's talking to erica right yeah this is during humpy lisa vanderpump's like i won't eat humpy darling there's a camel missing where did that camel go that would probably i won't eat it darling no lisa lisa rena's exact words because i wrote it down she goes i'm gonna ask a question and i wrote down uh-oh because that's like you know the worst phrase i think that humans can hear is lisa rena saying i'm gonna ask a question you're like oh shit this is gonna bad. It's a good, bad place. Oh,

Rinna. So she's going to ask her question. Wait, look, okay. I just put, she announces getting something off her chest. She keeps saying that when she's talking about Yolanda,

who just literally got things taken off of her chest. Like she doesn't even listen to what she's saying. It's so offensive, but also hilarious to me. Yeah. So Erica, this whole thing, She doesn't even listen to what she's saying. It's so offensive, but also hilarious to me. So Erica, this whole thing, Erica tries to mask her boredom now with intelligence. Yeah, Erica's trying to be like a horrible lector now. She's like, how's that make you feel, Clarice? Quit pro quo, Clarice.

Quit pro quo, Rinna. You tell me something, and then I won't tell you anything, because I don't trust you. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Well, so I'm trying to remember. What did Lisa Rinna – how did she start? Because I have thoughts about Erica's response. This is not cool, Rinna.

Erica gets her cold as ice, blah, blah, blah. She says that Rinna already talked about this because they all know what she's – Oh, yeah, because Rinna was saying – she's talking about Yolanda, right? When she says, I'm going to ask a question, When she says, I'm going to ask a question, Rinna says, I'm going to ask a question. She starts talking about... I'm assuming Yolanda again. I must have skipped it, because I went straight to enraged,

because Erica was like, Oh, I thought you already got this off your chest last night. Oh, well, I'm above this. Remember how you said enraged? Why would you say that? That's a big word. That's a say that? That's a big word. That's a huge word. That's a huge word.

Big, big word. But then Erica asked, or maybe Lisa asked Erica, how do you feel about us? Do you judge us? Yeah, she was asking Erica. And Erica's like, no, i don't judge you guys actually i think that erica started it because she said um do you even like yolanda oh yeah that's like rina do you like the one that goes that's an interesting question interesting i love when how was that when rina when rina my favorite thing is when Rinna repeats a word To be more contemplative

Be like this is a tasty drink It's tasty It is tasty Oh you know what it does taste like hot chocolate It does It's interesting Isn't that interesting It tastes just like hot chocolate

How interesting That's interesting baby But yeah you're right so erica was like do you like yolanda and then she's like that's interesting that's that's interesting not owning it this lady who's telling everybody to own it all the time like a real estate agent who lives in a rental i'm like it's not shit it's actually objectively not an interesting question it's just a pretty standard straightforward one and you should have been like she should have just been like yes i like her but i think this is happening whatever um but then rena is like do you like us do you do you judge us what are your thoughts she has

to repeat she's like okay i'll just ask your question again did you like us yeah like me it was like it was like frost nixon so like that was actually easier to follow i have to say erica was like i don't judge i would have a book you know open mind i like you more now it was did she say i like you more yeah she said i like you more now i like you more now than i did when i first met you she's like what why wouldn't you like me what and then she's like do you judge winner and then it's like yeah i judge yeah i judge everyone yeah i judged you and then erica my brain baby yeah yeah baby it's interesting but then erica all of a sudden is like i can't believe she judges i can't believe she judges well you just said you like her more than you

did before you know what that is that's a judgment just saying that you judge people is not a crime people hear these like trigger words and they i mean they're like what the fuck but you know what like judging is actually a part of life being judgment thank you very much being judgmental is when all you do is judge you base everything only on your judgments and and uh you then you hold your judgments against that person etc i mean that's not the exact definition but it's my philosophical perception of it and uh so for for rena to say yeah i judged you because everyone makes judgments all the time the question is how much you you give into those judgments that's all yes and if you don't judge

a book by its cover you're going to be reading a terrible fucking book okay it's like an entire job to design book covers yeah so that you can judge them that's what book covers are for okay the new york times literally has a story on its cover about book covers about romance book covers today so that's how important book covers are erica jane but the thing is that i don't think what Rinna said was bad at all. She was like, yeah, when I first saw your video, I made judgments. And she basically was saying, I thought you were a huge slut. She didn't say it, but she was basically saying that.

And Erika Jayne gets all upset. Like, I can't believe you thought I would be a slut. Who are you to judge me? Who are you to judge me? You've got playboy twice. I understood. And she was right. She is right on that point, yes.

The thing is, this is another example of one of these women trying. They're ready for this fight, and so they're coming into it going when nothing happened. Like, Rinna wasn't saying, I judge you in a bad way. She's comping to talking shit about Erica when they first met because she didn't get her videos because she knows she's going to see that on TV anyway. It's like getting the fight out of the way. But Erica's like getting mad because she's been ready for this confrontation. But there isn't one really.

She's like, yeah, I did it. Yeah, but it's also like, you know what? Lisa was saying, yeah, I kind of judged you at first. I thought like you were like crazy and slutty. And then I realized like, no, that's ridiculous. And I don't feel that way anymore. And Erica was like mad at her for that. And it's like, no, but you know, Erica, like, yes, Lisa was in Playboy twice.

But, Erica, you're making these, like, crazy videos. But the point is you're trying to be scandalous and slutty. And you should actually be happy that you were judged that way because that's the whole part of your – the whole point of your ego. And on top of that, like, what happened to you? I don't give a fuck. Like, shouldn't you – She does give a fuck. She does give't you? She does give a fuck. She does give a fuck.

She gives a huge fuck. And, you know, now that I'm seeing her more and more, I'm beginning to – I mean, I've never hated her. But I'm really beginning to like her too, mostly because I'm just getting used to how her icy ass is. And, like, her whole persona is just so defensive. It's like daring you to hate her like everything she does she's trying to get you to hate her or be mean to her because she's more comfortable in a victim role and it it makes it um sadder to watch because you see in her marriage when she's being you know yelled at or whatever by her grumpy old man and i don't want to make

too much of that but obviously there's power there. She calls him the damn boss. And it's almost like she needs that. She needs like to, she feels like such a piece of shit that she needs you to call her a piece of shit, because then that will give her the strength to prove that she's not a piece of shit.

It's like, girl, it's like, she's going to come out with one of those Tony Bennett albums. You know, she's going to come out with some cover one day and people are going to be like, wow, she can actually sing. Yeah, I didn't want you to know because I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck if you think I'm talented.

Yeah, it's hard to sometimes reconcile her like I'm so laid back and chill I'm Erica Jane vibe with the fact that she sometimes does not seem very chill at all. Or ever. Or ever. She's like this bitch has been on Playboy twice like this bitch really. This bitch. Which obviously is totally true

and that's kind of what I like about her. I'm liking that she's not chill. That's kind of what I like. someone who pretends they're chill, but they're really like Monica from Friends. Yeah, I'm sure. If she's back next season, and I imagine she would be, I'm sure she will, like, the bitch flower will bloom, as you say, and I'm sure she will get the brunt of a lot of things.

I'll love when her bitch flower blooms. I just don't like when it's phony. That's always my problem. Like her thing with Vanderpump. You don't even know Vanderpump. You're doing this for Yolanda who's cuckoo and can't even keep her own damn life story straight. Like fight your own battles. Yeah, I agree.

I agree. So judging is very important in life. That's what I wrote as well. You see, we're on the same page sometimes. A lot of the time. Rinna has trouble the same. Who can blame her? Why would she trust you?

Yeah, and that's true and i loved erica at the end of this because lisa rena keeps trying to it's like two two chicks who are always trying to be smart but neither one of them really is all that smart so rena's asking for the same questions over and over and then she basically calls her out uh erica calls rena out on being a hypocrite and all this stuff and then uh rena goes well here's what i'm saying i just i think what i'm saying is i want you to open up more baby and erica goes well i won't yeah i was like perfect that's a great that's a that's a that's a great response erica because that's so phony of rena to say i just want you to open up more

you've been calling her a slut. Like, you've been suggesting she's a slut, a hoe, this and that. You've been nothing but mean girl to her the whole time, which Rinna really has. And then she tries and switches it and puts a smile on her face and says, I really just wish you would open up. There is no more open than she could be. She had her ass cheeks spread the first scene we saw her in. Okay. She's open she's

like as open as i think you don't want her to open up you need to stop being such a judgmental little bitch and actually just accept the bitch for who she is yeah but i think that like erica is not open at all i think that least i think rena is totally valid in saying i think you i you know i'd like you to be more open she i mean she said i thought you were slutty at first but now i know you're not and it's almost like i wish i I wish I'd like to know more about you. But Erica does that thing where it's like, by being provocative on stage, wearing these outfits and saying cunty and all that stuff, that this somehow creates this persona of someone who's just open and an open book and down with everything. But it's actually just kind of like smoke and mirrors.

It's almost like, if I do this, people will will think i'm open but i'm not at all because we still really know nothing about her yeah yeah and i don't think we will for a long time anything we'll know about her is will be on accident it'll be shit that she's that is accidentally taped or whatever but all that said i just don't think anybody should open up to Rinna. All she does is go and blab it on national TV and twist your words. Like she's done it in every episode in the past couple of months. So why would anybody open up more to you? You nut. Yeah, she's a little bit of a, she's a babbler.

She is, she's loose lips. She sinks a lot of ships. Pretty much. But those lips always keep her afloat. Loose lips sink ships, baby, and keep me in the water like Rose. So Rinna changes

the conversation because it gets awkward. Erica's like, she's like, okay, so back to Yolanda having much houses. She's like, you guys, I have to get this off my chest, okay? I have feelings, you guys i have to get this off my chest okay i have feelings you guys and it's just like i can't talk about them because yolanda is sick when when did you ever have trouble talking about your feelings about anything ever this entire storyline it's

about your feelings about yolanda being sick you dodo bird yeah but i think what she's really trying to say is you know what it really annoys me and i question certain things and it's like i'm not allowed to even question. Like, why am I not allowed to question? If she does one thing during the day, like, she says she can't do this. And all of a sudden, she's doing that. She says she can't do this. She can't do that.

Like, there are inconsistencies in her story. And honestly, I am wondering what the hell is going on. And I'm not allowed to wonder what the hell is going on and I'm not allowed to wonder what the hell is going on. It's like it's not nice. And that's what she's trying to say. But she doesn't want to say it. I know, but if she had actually just said it,

but she's never even just said that. She's like, oh, I feel so guilty because someone else talked about Munchausen. Yolanda, I drove all the way to Malibu, wherever, David's Bachelor Fuckpad in Brentwood, just to tell you that I heard somebody say, and I repeated it and I feel bad about the word munchausen. You know,

that means you're faking it. Right. And I feel so bad about saying it because you know, you miss a lot of events. And I mean, it's like, she's covering up with this phoniness that everybody can see through. She's the only one who's called herself out,

out on it. No one else has even called her out on it. No one said like, why are you saying this? How dare you? She is the only one. It's like, she's getting mad at herself and then she's being mad that everybody's mad at

her. Yeah. I mean, look, yeah, even, even Yolanda was willing to be like, fine,

let's just move on. Like Yolanda is like, I don't like you, but let's just move on for the sake of sanity. And, and, and Rinna is still like pissed. Yeah.

Which is pretty much what erica says she's like well i hope you can get along with yolanda bye and then they all go smoke a hookah and rena stays there with vanderpump who you know vanderpump never sees it coming she never ever ever does and and rena's like i have to get something off my chest. A baby. Like, oh, God. Here we go for round 35. Lisa, I just want you to know I love you. Oh, darling, I know. You see, that's another reason I like Vanderpump. Because Rinna, normally it's, I love you.

I love you. With everybody. But Vanderpump goes, I know, darling. What do you want? What do you need? What can I get you? I'll stay by the fire and listen to you babble. All right?

Because that's what friends do. So she brings up the, do you remember the time I was at your house and we were in the living room? And I was reading about Munchausen because i heard it from somebody once and so yes darling i know you brought it up 30 times i know and uh rena says that basically uh i was talking about it and you chased me outside and you asked me why didn't you mention kyle and lisa l me, why didn't you mention Kyle? And Lisa goes, nope, didn't say that, the end. Which you know she's lying because she was like, nope, didn't.

What? Big buzz. Gotta go. She's like, what? Well, yeah, she was like, what? I don't know. She was like, I didn't say that. No, I didn't say that at all.

She said, I'm glad you didn't drag us all into this. Because that's what she'd been saying all season, which was like, uh-oh, we're all going to get dragged into this. We're all going to get dragged into this. Well, this fight gets cuckoo bird by the end of what is starting. So I just want to say right now, before I'm too loopy from laughing too much, here's my question with all this. Because Lisa's story is, well, of course, when she left, I crossed the bridge with her, as I do with everyone who comes to my home. It was like Matlock. Like, Miss Vanderpump, is it true that you always cross the bridge?

Of course. Hanky's there. I'm Panky. I got to say hello to the swans. Any chance I get. I remember the gray swans formulating a plan against Hanky in the corner as I crossed the bridge with Rinna at 10, 11 p.m., darling. But her version is, I went across the bridge to say goodbye and I told her, darling, speak your truth. You feel free to speak your truth, but don't bring us into it okay so i let's say i believe rena because i kind of do

even if she's mistake even if she's taking what lisa is saying out of con yeah misconstruing i totally believe rena that lisa would say even if it's the worst thing the worst case scenario and lisa said why didn't you mention kyle why would she say that if it's the worst thing, the worst case scenario. And Lisa said, why didn't you mention Kyle? Why would she say that if they hadn't had a previous conversation about mentioning Kyle in the first place? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I think, yeah, I prefer to say that they would have had to have a conversation where she

had said, mention Kyle or Rinna said, I'm going to mention Kyle. There had to be some time where they talked about mentioning Kyle for Lisa to say, why didn't you mention Kyle? Otherwise, why would she ask that? And why would she go running across the bridge to ask her that? Like, why would she like something about it seems bizarre to me. Like, it doesn't seem natural. I don't I don't get it, baby. Like, I don't I like it just seems like a strange question.

Why didn't you bring Kyle into it when Kyle is right there, too? It's like I don't think Kyle was in the bathroom or something. No, Kyle was like, oh, I thought I was like, I don't know, like it's something. Well, she was there. But when Lisa Rinna left, Vanderpump went over the bridge while Kyle was in the bathroom. Kyle didn't hear it at that moment. She heard it because Lisa Vanderpump called her and said darling lisa rena what the hell was this munchausen thing and um i asked her um don't please don't drag kyle into this something like that to where kyle and then kyle that's when kyle told her listen vanderpump i

know what you're doing and if i go down in flames i will bring you down with me because they're talking about these texts which lisa explains in her, which I'll read a little bit of later because it's pretty interesting, actually. But that was just my main question. If she's saying, hey, why didn't you mention Kyle? She wouldn't have said that unless there was some previous conversation where she expected her to mention Kyle. So I think that's fishy. I don't get it. Yeah.

Meaning that you think that there was a conversation or you think that Lisa – Meaning that Lisa Rinna is not telling the truth either way. Because if there was a previous conversation, she's hiding that. And if there wasn't, it doesn't make any sense. Well, she wouldn't hide it at this point. So I think – I honestly think Rinna misconstrued something. I really do. And I think that she thinks she's telling the truth this is what katherine said later on and which is i think they both are

telling their own truth and they just they're not remembering it correctly they didn't understand it correctly um because it does it's a strange to me it's very odd to run up to rena as she's leaving and say oh why you know why didn't you bring Kyle into it? Like, how is she, how is she supposed to bring Kyle into it? If she's saying, I was reading about Munchausen and someone was telling me about it and I feel so bad.

Like what, how was, how was Rinna supposed to do that? Like, and especially, especially because during that scene, Vanderpump and Kyle spent that entire scene saying, drop it, drop it

don't say anything more about it they were on camera saying don't speak about this anymore so that does not sound like the advice of someone who wants Kyle dragged into it I think if Vanderpump wanted Kyle to be dragged into it

she would not have said don't talk about it anymore. She would have said something to sort of spur that along. Yeah. And the whole reason Renna's mad. Oh, go, go. I want to know what she would have said. She would have said, oh, Kyle, you were just saying the same thing the other day, too, weren't you? She would have said something like that.

Yes. Yes. and she would have said something like that. Yes. Yes. But when this scene happened, I remember talking about this at the time and saying, of course, Lisa and Kyle have been talking about it.

Yeah. And then Rinna thought she would have backup. They kind of pushed her into it and now she looks like the stupid one and backed off. I've always believed that. Yeah. So I don't really doubt Rinna with that. My thing is,

no one made you talk about it on camera. Like you're talking off camera in a text thread because now all this stuff has come out about well it was texting so kyle and lisa and uh lisa were texting in a group text and they were sending pictures making fun of instagram which i think makes this totally makes sense and that's and who hasn't done that i mean even i've done that with my friends like it, it's ridiculous, that Instagram. So they were laughing about it. And then Rinna took it too far.

I'll read Lisa. I need to pull up Lisa's blog to read it. But Rinna apparently started getting really serious in that text. And it got uncomfortable to the point where she said, uh, like, well, what's your reaction? And she said, well, I don't want to be manipulative or something. And she said,

it's being sarcastic. And she said, if I'm manipulated, then it means I'm manipulatable. So I just want you to give me your opinion. You're my friend. And she said, I don't like this one bit,

supposedly that's in Lisa's blog. So, you know, I think we're getting, Rena is basically starting shit shit she's taking stuff that people were talking about privately in a text and she's saying okay we'll all be the one to bring this up because this is bullshit when they were just joking i mean kyle and lisa vanderpump know yolanda's a cuckoo bird they've known her for especially lisa she's known her for years and

she ain't gonna fuck with that crazy bitch right and which is why she's like, I never, at one point during the show, she's like, I never like, like, yeah, we were like, we were making jokes, but like,

I never said Munchausen. I never said anything like she knows, like, don't touch that. Like this is Yolanda's thing. And like, and it's cuckoo, but don't,

don't you dare call it Munchausen otherwise. Yeah. Because I still, you know, I'm still going to support her kids and everything like that. And Lisa, everyone's saying, oh, Lisa's trying to be manipulative and secretive.

She said to Yolanda's face, right to Yolanda's face, because Yolanda's tried twice with her now to go at Lisa about all this Munchausen stuff. And Lisa said, darling, the only thing was we had questions. There's inconsistencies. One minute you say you can't walk, but then you have us going around a scavenger hunt.

And then you say you can't do this, and then we see you doing that on the Instagram, darling. It was just – it's inconsistent. She said it to her damn face, and she said she specifically brought up Instagram and all of that other shit. So pretending that Lisa's like pussying out and not telling Yolanda anything is crazy. She's told it right to her face and she's one of the only ones who's done that. And I don't seem to remember Yolanda Foster jumping to Lisa Vanderpump's defense when Lisa fainted on dancing with the stars and Kyle and Kim were

like making fun of her. Okay. Saying that it was a fake faint. So that way she could get off the show. So like, or when she was holding brandy barely back on a leash she was going after lisa and trying to accuse lisa of all this tabloid shit and then when she when ken tried talking to her and touched her arm and she said don't you abuse a woman like ken was abusing her i mean get out lisa has been way nicer than she needs to be with yolanda absolutely she's been very very nice do i believe that lisa and and kyle were cracking jokes about yolanda yeah just the

way we have been do i you know do i think that like um that she uh that she told rena to drag kyle into it, though? I don't know. I don't... It just seems like a strange move, especially because Kyle is her new ally, you know? Like, it just doesn't... Nothing really adds up about that allegation to me. And it's not just me having blind love for Lisa Vanderpump, although that's probably... Yeah, because I believe it.

Like, I love Lisa Vanderpump, but's probably yeah because i believe it like i love lisa vanderpump but i believe almost everything that they've said about her and i always have i mean i believe that that she was joking about bringing those tabloids in the bag but she was joking and brandy's like she wanted me to bring them to confront you and know what lisa would never whip out magazines out of a bag and tell kyle look at your tranny loving husband like she would never do that but i believe she joked about it i believe that she tries to convince you know tell people well you should talk about that then if that's how you feel then say it on camera i believe that she does shit i believe that she's manipulative but i believe that if you can be manipulated by little

shit like that by somebody having manners then you're so stupid that she's no more manipulative she's no more manipulative than anyone else on this show. I'm sorry. She just, she just, the thing is though, that people, the fans love her and that makes these women jealous and angry.

And, and that's why they, uh, that's why they get mad. This comment was left, um, by someone named Sam. And I just thought it was very good.

It was pointing out Rinna's inconsistencies, because this isn't obviously the first time she said manipulation, even though she's like, oh, it's the first time I've suggested Lisa's manipulative, but here's all of her cuckoo things. Lisa V manipulated her by asking her why she wasn't angry about the bipolar comment.

Lisa V manipulated her by making her go shopping with Kim. Lisa V manipulated her to bring up Munchausen. I mean, how many things are there now that you've been manipulated by? I mean, how stupid are you? Yeah, I agree. So when Lisa Vanderpump is like, no, I did not say that. I said, I don't want to be dragged into it. You're going to drag us all into it.

Then Rinna's like, I've been lied to my face, baby. I've never had someone lie to my face before, baby. So then the next day. I've been lied to by my friend, Lisa Vanderpump. Lie face. Lisa Vanderpump has lied to my face, baby. I got to get it off my chest. Sex in the city.

Okay, scapegoat. Scapegoat. So then the next day they go to the souk um they go shopping uh katherine gets a roach on her dress but that was amazing um and then also eileen uh smoking the hookah was amazing i mean the the little fights keep bring being brought up by rena like every time they're having fun i have to get something on my chest but this episode there were so many hilarious things happening. Watching them just have fun in Dubai was killing me.

I was laughing my ass off. And Erica with that stupid Falcon, she's all jealous that the Falcon has a better costume. Yeah. And then the next day she's like, oh, I hate this place, but whatever. Like she's all mad that her gays didn't dress her as well as the Falcon. I know. She's like, where are those gays anymore? Like Labside just like full on disappeared. What did they do? Get like stoned in the streets or something? I mean, come on Falcon. I know. She's like, where are those gays anymore? Like, Lavasla, just like, full-on

disappear. What, did they get, like, stoned in the streets or something? I mean, come on, though. I don't give a fuck. I mean, I know it was hard for him to put this purse together without a hand, but still. I mean, I don't give a fuck. Use your other hand. Learn to do it with your feet. You got a whole souk full of purses. Why don't you give me a better one? So, um,

yeah, so they all go shopping. I just want to get a, I just, I just wanted to move forward, just because we still have a couple tools to do, you know, so I just. So, yeah, so they all go shopping. I just want to get a little – I just wanted to move forward just because we still have Vanderpump Rules to do. So I just wanted to move forward a little bit. I'm done. So then Lisa Rinna and Eileen talk, and Lisa Rinna's like, I had a revelation. I've been manipulated by Lisa Vanderpump. Now I see it. Now Eileen is happy.

She's like, thank you. Thank you. You're the scapegoat. I'm the asshole. And now they commiserate on all the terrible things that Lisa Vanderpump has done and decide that now is the time. Something has to be said tonight.

Something has to be said. It has to be said. Right? So that takes us to the dinner that ends the episode. Which we've kind of talked about but yeah but yeah this is where pretty good all in all and oh actually i'm sorry we skipped the big thing the biggest thing which we did sort of talk about was that rena also talks to kyle and katherine about this whole situation and kyle's like yeah well i, you know, Lisa did – after you left, Lisa said to me, like, oh, I thought she was going to bring you into it, Kyle.

But I also – I can see that in Kyle's mind as that's evidence of Lisa manipulating. But I actually really see it – I can imagine Lisa Vanderpump just saying that as like, ugh, I thought we were all going to get dragged into it, you know? Yeah, because they were. I mean, it was a private text conversation where if Lisa Rinna whips out those texts, they're all going to look like a bunch of assholes because it's not nice. Like, they're pretending like,

oh, poor Yolanda. We don't understand the illness, but we understand that you're ill. But then there's this big text thread showing them mocking her for the past year. So I think, of course, they're fearful because they're like because they're like oh no ren is going off the deep end and what is she going to betray and this episode i mean i give kyle so much shit and of course i'm liking her and it's not only because she's being nice to lisa it's because she's sticking up for somebody and that's when i liked her with kim too even when kim is wrong and she stands up for her

it makes me like Kyle better. I mean, I even liked Kyle when she was hiding Brandi's crutches, and that was so mean. They were so in the wrong. But, of course, I loved it. It was hilarious. So I don't mind that. But we also have to remember, before we give Kyle too much credit, that she's also sticking up for Vanderpump the week after she was throwing her under the bus. And also, she's doing it because she

needs somebody on her side. Rinna's coming after her too. I mean, Rinna's saying, you both said Munchausen's before. And so Kyle still needs somebody on her side. Well, Kyle has also finally realized after several years that no matter what, she just can't take down Vanderpump. So if you can't

beat him, join him. So she basically was like, yeah, Rena, um, she did say something weird and I shut it down right then and there. And that's that. And everything is fine.

And they're like, but why aren't you mad? Why aren't you mad that she did this? Your friend doing this. She's like, cause I don't care. Cause I like her. She's cooler than me.

She's more popular. She's, she's wealthier. She's the star of the show. And I decided I want to be on her side. That's why. Pretty much. Count down to mentioning Kim because no one will get off her ass sure enough she's like oh my maybe it's

because it's been so hard because of my sisters that i choose to forgive lisa like lisa's her sister and that was actually very sweet oh i hate saying that shit about it was well because she's like i don't want to fight with someone else sweet and it was so refreshing on a housewife show listen maybe she fucked me over we're still friends get over it and then watching everybody else break down that they did not win Aileen was like a villain in a cartoon

you know like he tied a bait she tied a baby to the train track and somebody got it off at the last second he's like yeah and she does that thing with like the hands down shaking and like the face turns red and steam comes out the ears like she was but i mean eileen finally did say what was truly on her mind which is that she didn't like that lisa was talking about the affair the affair the affair said something to me in the hamptons i was like oh my god

you just heard all the rattlesnakes in dub yawning. Even they're sick of this shit right now, lady. I know. It was, you know, it just, you know, they're all, they're going, you know, Lisa Rinna is furious at Vanderpump. She feels manipulated. And it's Catherine who says, you know, I think that, like, they both, they both, neither one of them is lying because they don't think they're lying. They think they both have their truth and that the truth is somewhere in the middle and that there's a cultural thing. She's like, it's a British thing and certain things don't translate from culture to culture. I totally did a raise the roof for Ben when she did that.

I was like, yes, Ben. Yes, Ben. Take it, Ben. Take it. This is another question I have about Eileen and this particular thing. So it's always bugged me that she never just said, like, I'm mad because you made me look like a slut on national TV. Okay. Two things.

One, Eileen was mad because Lisa said she had an affair on national TV. She made her admit to lying, basically, on national TV. That's why she was mad. She's finally said it. So Lisa says I didn't say the affair. I said I was sorry for saying the affair. And she said no you didn't. You never said you were sorry for saying the affair.

It's like one word again which cracks me up. Okay now why. If Lisa knows that that is why Eileen is mad. Which I'm sure she did. Why when she apologized would she say. I'm sure she did. Why, when she apologized, would she say, I'm sorry for saying at a dinner party that you were in an affair on your husband, and I

caught you up in a lie? Why would she say that if she knows that that's why Eileen's mad? It actually makes sense now that Lisa Vanderpump has been saying, oh, well, I'm sorry for asking too many questions, because she can't say the affair because eileen's fucking head will pop off right so which one do you want do you want her saying the affair

or don't you you can't have it both ways butch and another thing where lisa vanderpump is totally lying in this which i love catching her in little lies but when she said i thought every i didn't think it was a big deal darling i thought. I thought everybody knew it was already out there. When at that dinner, she was saying, oh, divorce. Oh, you've been divorced twice. Three times, Eileen, really? Oh, an affair. Oh, so wait, it was three years.

Was it an affair? Like she didn't know. She was acting like she had never even heard about Eileen's divorces. It was. Yeah, yeah. But she was acting like that then. She was full of shit then. I still don't.

It's funny because even with that scene, I still don't think, I don't think Lisa Vanderpump was up to anything beyond just, you know, being drunk and wanting to gossip and hearing the, she just wanted to hear the dirt, I think. And, you know, now she's backtracking as if like, I just wanted to get to know you,

which is, she shouldn't have backtracked. She should have just said, yeah, I just want – I was curious. I didn't realize it was going to upset you. Like that's all she had to say, which is Eileen's point too, which is that it didn't have to be a thing. And Lisa loses points for not being able to squash this like months ago because it's so ridiculous. Well, she can't talk to them like the Sir employees. That's the thing because like the Sir people, she like well you compulsively rob people you're a whore and you know you'll never love anybody and that's why i love you you know she can talk about

everybody's faults in that kind of stern motherly way and of course because they're kids and they're they're her employees but she can't do that here. So she can't just say, oh, Eileen, darling, of course you had an affair. It's juicy and romantic and I want to hear everything about it. But then she says shitty things like at that dinner where this was all happening and Eileen said, oh, no, this is my third husband. And her diary room session talking head thing was, oh, third time, eh? Well, I guess I just got it right the first time yeah so she does say totally cut fitnessy thing but she probably said that after this fight where

she's like fine i'm gonna i'm gonna roast her in the interview you know oh yeah that's true because she is still they're all still wearing the same outfits oddly enough in this i think they only did like two diary room sessions this entire season. Exactly. I think with Rinna, what was I going to say about Rinna? Probably just stuff about – oh, so here's what I was going to say. So these women are sitting here in the middle of Dubai fighting, squabbling, all mad at each other. And Rinna is sitting here accusing Lisa Vanderpump of being a master manipulator and so is Eileen. And guess who's sitting at home in her bathrobe eating popcorn and watching this whole thing go down?

Yolanda. I mean, you want to talk about manipulation. I mean, this is a master class right here. Yep. And I've gone on so much about Yolanda and the Lime conspiracy and all of this shit. So something really, really good this week was posted on Jezebel. on so much about Yolanda and the Lyme conspiracy and all of this shit. So something really, really good this week

was posted on Jezebel. It's a very in-depth article about the difference between Lyme disease, post-Lyme disease, and chronic Lyme disease. And it's really important, if you're a fan of the show, to know the difference. Because Yolanda has now just started saying

Lyme. It is not started saying lime it is not lime it is not the same it is chronic lime that is very different go read it's really a long interview but we're gonna need it because that shit's all over the place now and people need to be informed about what's happening and they explain it so so well thank you jezebel they also have a really good race article this week yeah that was oh, it's linked on our Facebook page. You have. It's actually, I think, linked on our on the on the episode that the previous episode, someone posted that link, which is a really good article about being biracial and being light skinned. The difference between all the terms and stuff like because someone's like you're

uninformed and i am uninformed because i didn't know half that shit it's like oh okay it's actually very good it's a really good read and i think it's a really good um supplement to our race discussion last time and i just want to say also like um i just want to reiterate that when we talked we i mean last week we really went in on yolanda because i think we were just like drunk and we were like the four of us hanging out. We were just like gabbing off the walls and being crazy. chronic Lyme disease. It's more that we, we, we are questioning her, how she uses that in regards to other people and situations and not questioning her illness. I mean, sometimes we think like, well, maybe like, maybe she has, maybe she has like some like depression that she is, she keeps saying is Lyme, but maybe she's like depressed. Maybe she has some like mental issues too, but no one's debating that she is ill in some capacity,

but we, I, where we are like where we are going nuts and we're having fun with it and, and going to town is just how she uses it to get out of certain things and to, and, and to what we see is her trying to use it to gain sympathy. So we're not trying to be insensitive to those people who are suffering from Lyme disease or post Lyme disease symptoms, etc. We just are.

Yeah, I mean, just obviously only speaking for myself. I don't believe for one bit. I think she's a crazy fucking liar and I think she's a horrible person. So I say that flat out. I don't believe it. And it's actually made me learn a lot about chronic Lyme and all the differences because I've read so much about it, mostly because of the recaps and stuff. But there's a lot of controversy with chronic Lyme and what it even is. But the fact is the people with chronic Lyme, they're diagnosed that because they've got

real medical issues that are bad. And it leads to that diagnosis. Yes, there's not a blood test and blah, blah, blah that you can get from the CDC or anything like that. But there are real things like fibromyalgia. Am I saying that right? Or chronic fatigue syndrome. Those are all things that people really do suffer from. So I'm not saying none of you are telling the truth.

It has nothing to do with you. Stop taking that stuff personally. This is about about yolanda and yolanda's constant lying and bullshit and that's what i'm calling out personally so it ain't you it's yolanda yeah that's that's that would just be like a good name for sitcom it ain't you it's yolanda oh i love this sitcom what is this sitcom what is this word the sitcoms and house and comms and closet why would i sit on calm why so disgusting so in summation rinna is is going crazy i i am still on vanderpump's side but i'm like amused by rinna's witch hunt and um i wish she would just like like, get it together. It's like she definitely needs to be, like, Cher, you know,

Moonstruck slapped a little bit. Like, snap out of it. Snap out of it. Rinna, just calm down. Like, you're not, like, whatever the scapegoat complex you have, no one thinks. The only one who has an issue with you is Yolanda. And who cares if Yolanda has an issue with you?

And it's because of you. It's because you started it. the only one who has an issue with you is Yolanda and who cares if Yolanda has an issue with you it's because you started it Eileen has whipped you up into this crazy place you are annoyed at Yolanda I get why you're annoyed at Yolanda, I get why you're annoyed at Kim although you know what is funny is that

some people were saying well Lisa Rinna she only beats up on the weak well this certainly proves that theory wrong going after Vanderpump. Well, that's true. Even though she's like sitting there crying. She's like, oh, I really do have to go because that's what she does. And then Eileen, yeah, I saw that one coming. Shut up, Eileen.

Like Eileen was getting so mad because Rinna was not following the script. Rinna is very all over the place so everything eileen was telling her to do she'd be like oh well you're right i do like bushes you know or whatever and she was getting so mad she's like no that's not what and finally eileen's just like no that's i'm this is pissing me off this is not what we're talking about and then she starts going in because she can't control the situation oh so good that is like s Field in Soap Dish in that one scene where she walks in all furious and she starts yelling. She's like, damn it, damn it.

She's like, and you, and you. It wasn't me. And she points at someone else. She goes, and you, and you. You know what I'm talking about? And you, and you, Rose. Yeah, and you, Rose. She's like, leave me out of it.

And you. That's what Rin is doing. She's just like, just rotate her. And you. She's like at the waiter. And you. By the way, Kyle Richards, Kyle Richards is the Vanderpump Whisperer. Because Lisa Vanderpump was about to bolt.

And Kyle's just like, hey, relax. Relax. And Lisa's like, all right. And then everyone does that bullshit thing where they're like, no, hey, relax. Relax. And Lisa's like, relax. Relax. And then everyone does that bullshit thing where they're like, no, no, we like you. It's small. It's small. It's small.

It's just, you know, we're just talking it up. We're being honest. Eileen's like, oh, stop being a victim. And Brenna's like, we're not bullies, Vanderpump, okay? We're not mean girls. It's like, really? Because all you're doing is yelling at some poor older lady who's sitting there crying but then vanderpump rises right back up i love it she looks like she's

she's doing her victim thing ken and i have done so much for you anytime she's in trouble she's like i have been loyal to you rinna and then rinna i've been loyal to you too so we've got that in common no you don't you have not been loyal, which is the point, you dumb hoe. And then she goes, Erica tries to pull out her stupid therapy thing again. She's like, well, here's what's happening. Okay? You've got one person saying something, and then the other person who just doesn't believe in the audacity of whatever big word. And Rinna's like, oh, no.

She said, Rinna has very strong feelings. And then Vanderpump goes, well, I have strong feelings about it too, and it's her word against mine. And I was like, that's it, girl. Finally, that's Lisa getting down and dirty when she's like, prove it, bitch. Yeah, exactly. And Erika's like, well,

as one can see in a certain situation like this, one must not give a fuck-a-toot about, you know, what's the prior circumstance of the general parallax algorithm. Oh, why don't I end by reading this few paragraphs from Lisa's blog? Cause it's pretty interesting.

This is Cindy seeing all the case case posted this on our Facebook. So this is from Lisa's blog. A text had been sent from Lisa Rinna. I bring this up at the reunion to Kyle and I. That was extremely aggressive towards Yolanda questioning why Yolanda wouldn't go to New York to see her kids in a fashion show. Why? Wait, whatever. It's a bad sentence, but you know what I mean?

Why she would go to New York Fashion Week to see her kids in a fashion show, but she could go accept an award for Lime, a rant that was asking for a response as she was unduly concerned in regard to Yolanda's choices. It seems much enraged, Lisa Rinna, that has little to do with her, as we have seen in regard to Yolanda not being president at the disastrous EJ dinner. She stated she was enraged by that. She also was enraged by a picture with Yolanda and Brandy Glanville. Not a lot enrages me, so go figure. I responded I had no thoughts I was willing to share with her

as she would accuse me of manipulating her, LOL. I was being sarcastic, but really didn't feel comfortable engaging in this tone of conversation with Lisa. She responded, I can only be manipulated if I am manipulatable. I want your thoughts. I curtly responded, OK, you want my thoughts? I don't like this one iota.

And that is when everything shifted between her and me. I believe when I chose not to support Lisa's accusations against Yolanda, she then began targeting me. Kyle also defended Yolanda, and she was also still included in the group text. I have to say, Lisa Rinna should have been grateful I had such loyalty to her and didn't show Yolanda the lengthy text,

which was petty and nasty and unfairly judgmental. So you go, girl, because you know she got that shit screen saved. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. This is going to be a good reunion. I love when it's an iPhone fight and everybody starts whipping out their iMessage. Yeah, and yet we never get to see – it's very rare we get to actually see screenshots of those things, of those conversations.

Oh, my God. They need to release all of that text, that group text. That would be amazing. And you never know what this show, cause they act like everything's a mystery being resolved. I mean, Eileen finally saying a fair Rinna finally dropping that Lisa told her to blame it on Kyle.

And then the ultimate, we finally understood Kyle's fashion choices when she was standing, staring out the window of the bus at all the moos. And she said, can't we just dress like this every day? And Catherine's like, no, we'd get so fat. And she goes, Kyle, like, quietly says to herself, tight clothes keep us in check. It's like, oh, my God.

This is like the origin story of Beverly Hills. Oh, yes. That was a little bus of shame. Great episode. Great, great episode. I can a little bus of shame. Great episode. Great, great episode. I can't wait for next week. I love Rinna. I love Vanderpump.

I don't like seeing them fight. And I love Eileen, too, by the way. I mean, Eileen's been, like, batty this season, but I still love her, and I just want them to all get on the same page. Yeah. I'm actually liking Eileen because at least even though i don't agree with her at all and i think she's being a complete fucking asshole about nothing it is so fun watching her get mad that's what i want to see that is the days of our lives batch i want back on my tv where she's just fear you beast beast like that like week, they show the clips for next week, and she is just like,

I can't listen to this anymore! Like storms away. Love it. So good. Okay, so moving on to Vanderpump Rules Reunion. I just turned on my air conditioner because it's warm in here. So if you hear a hum, that's it.

And I know it's not professional sounding, but we are not professionals. It's an AC action. but we are not professionals. It's a Macy action. Yeah. Listen, listen. The idea of a professional podcast is ridiculous. If you're a professional podcaster, you're a DJ, okay? I'm sorry. I ain't leaving my house, okay? This week, I'm doing so much extracurricular. We're doing the live show Monday.

I'm doing Molly's Please Advise show, Cannot Wait, on Saturday. And then I'm doing something Friday too I mean that's a lot of out of the house time for me Yeah exactly I'm doing Anna David's podcast Tomorrow Called You've Got Issues So I'm excited for that one Myself so yeah we're like

We're like doing stuff okay So we're like allowed to put on an air conditioner Once in a while When we're out of the house those will be professional but not these yeah so um vanderpump rules reunion part two begins uh with talk of gay pride and uh and andy cohen asks james about all his scratches and stuff on his shoulder and and then i think it was like lisa or people like why don't you wear like a t-shirt like why why like you cover it up a little bit i love that j it was like Lisa or people were like, why don't you wear like a T-shirt? Like why – like you cover it up a little bit.

I love that James was like, everybody was wearing tank tops, Lisa. Everyone was. What am I supposed to do? Not wear a tank top. Glass. Yes. When you're covered in cigarette burns or whatever the fuck that was, yes, please. Sleeves.

Yes, please. Many of them. I mean you're thin. It's not like you're sweating. I mean put on some damn sleeves, boy. Yeah, stop with your tank top FOMO. Andy's question was so funny to me. He's like, James, did you think Lala would find out that you just slept with Andy?

He's the one who told her. Yeah. He's like, I want that. And then I liked how Andy then asked Kristen if she ever chewed on James's arm. And she was like, I wouldn't say chew. And I'm like, that's going to be the name of your autobiography. I wouldn't say chew, dot, dot, dot. I wouldn't say chew.

So then, yeah, we learned that Lala and Lauren are friends again. And that hot Anthony is single. So everyone, make your way to Sir. Get that Anthony. Oh, my God. That guy is so single. Whenever they show flashbacks and they use that filter, his teeth were that Ross Geller bleach. Remember when Ross bleached his teeth and they were glow-in-the-dark?

That's what his teeth looked like. Still, so hot. Oh, my God. That guy's so cute so andy goes so lala what did you think about lauren doing that she's like i mean what a bitch i was just thinking what a shady chick what is wrong with this crazy bitch he goes so how are you now oh we're totally fine now we're yeah she's great she backstage. And every time Lala talked about herself in this episode, she was like, look, all I wanted you to say was, Lala, listen. And she would say her own name.

She said her own name, I think, six times. And she says it in a really weird way. Lala. Lala. Lala. Lala. She is the Kristen Cavallari of this of this show she is the next star she is taking over for sure she was i feel like she really dominated this reunion

especially she ain't afraid anymore she came right out in this one yeah exactly um there was some like talk about does james want to be jacked james like i know i don't want to be that old man don't want to be on my own man poor james says what every young waiter or restaurant worker says and i was one of them that's how i know i would never want to be your age still be a bartender dun dun dun fast forward to james still taking water your table 20 years later because that's what happens to people like us who say it it's karma it's waiter karma fucker yeah exactly and then in the middle of this andy cohen decides to just like stop all the fun and turn to katie and be like so you guys are engaged it's like wah wah wah i guess now's a good time to go like take a shit somewhere yeah that went on way too long i know know, like the most boring couple on TV.

And I like when Andy goes about the engagement. He goes like, if he hadn't popped the question then, how much time did he really have left? It's like he had his entire lifetime left. As long as James will still be working in restaurants. Yeah, exactly. Like he's like, not that much time left. Like probably only like 20 or 30 more years. Oh, poor Katie.

Katie, you are too young and adorable to be that miserable all the time. I mean, you're calling someone else a Debbie Downer. You are such a Debbie Downer. Lighten up, lady. Like all she does is sit there and give dirty looks and talk over everybody because she has no point to make. She was obnoxious. And even her even Tom number two. Well, he's never really he's always

half-ass standing up for her which kills me yeah but um andy is questioning because andy's so loose with this cast i like it he just abuses them he's like so yeah then you didn't bone anymore ever since you got engaged when was the last time you boned? Yeah. And then Lisa's like, oh, Andy. It was so nosy. It was. But the best thing was when Tom number two, Katie says, well, we're not like that, like, horny couple. Like, we're both not that horny. Like, we don't need to be, like, horny all the time.

And he goes, well, I mean, it's not that we're, like, not horny. And I'm trying to remember my train of thought. Oh, yes. It ended up him talking about his asexual phase. Yeah. Because one of the guys, I think the other Tom was like, hey, man, remember your asexual phase, bro? He's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, my asexual phase.

So I guess he's either just sexless or gay. And I'm hoping it's gay. Or engaged to Katie. Yeah. Or sort of what being engaged to Katie does. I'm hoping it's engaged to katie yeah or sort of what being engaged to katie does i'm hoping it's bye i hope he gets married to katie and then i meet him and then can just date him but she'll know like i'll take him off her hands for a while and then just send him back be like okay you're going back to katie now yeah bye change your shirt please yeah joint uh possession or whatever

um so then britney comes out and the very first thing that Andy does is like, oh, I don't mean to say this in a weird way, but like your boobs look great. I'm like, oh my God, Andy. Like it's every time. The very first thing. The boobs. That's about all we can talk about. So Jax was he got you here all the way from

Kentucky. Got you some new boobs. Yeah, look at your new rack. Some applause for the new rack. Yeah, rack. She's like, oh, geez, Andy. And then Brittany's so stupid, she's acting like she just won an Oscar award. Hi, y'all. And Andy said, you said you

left everything when you came from Kentucky. What exactly was that? Like, what did you leave? And she goes, everything. She's like, I had a magic bullet that didn't come with me. I mean, I left my sister's curling iron there,

and I was borrowing that every day. That was hard, Andy. I just bought a new jar of paprika, and that did not come with me either. Like, everything had to go. Guess what's still in Kentucky? My pepper jelly. Okay? Everything. When I say everything, I mean it, Andy.

My rubber spatula from Big Lots. That's back there. I haven't left my Dave and Buster's frequent flyer card over there. I mean, do you know how hard it is to have to pay for Dance Jam over and over again? I just think, I did this for you, Jax. I did it for you. I have to pay for my skee-ball now. I just think I did this for you, Jax.

I did it for you. I have to pay for my skee-ball now. But then they're like, how did you wind up with Jax? Didn't you even Google him? And she's like, no, no. I'm just imagining. She's like, I'm just not very curious about things in life. I just let anyone just like, you know, shoot me.

That's okay. Pretty much. She's such a liar. Have you ever seen the show no i had never seen it the only person i've ever even seen on tv before was lisa because i saw you know the real housewives shows those are real big in kentucky but this one no i mean jack's what instagram what's that i have no idea i don't even know how this happens is that like something we get graham crackers instantly? I like that. Now, I want a spinoff called

Granimals. Do you have a service called Instorios? I'd like that. That'd be real tasty. How many times have Granimals made this stupid podcast? We have some Granimals references in like episode one. They won't leave me alone so then uh they talk about bernie's boobs some more and then jacks sort of equates it to getting

a haircut he's like well you know you see something you know you see you see like the rachel you're like you're like oh i want to get the rachel so like you know i saw the sarah and i want her to get the sarah that was so funny and stupid andy. So, Jax is no stranger to elective surgery. Yeah. Nice transition. And I just wrote, LOL, thank you for being just as tasteless with the men as you are the women. Thank you for at least being equal. Because sometimes, I guess because he talks to so many women, sometimes it's like, dude, what kind of misogynist are you?

All you do is ask them about their tits. But then, of course, he does it to the men, too. So it makes it fair. So thanks, Andy. Thank you, Andy. And then he asks Brittany, does it bother you that he poops with the door open? She's like, I don't mind. I yell at him sometimes.

I love her version of feminism. She's like, well, Andy said, well, did you get the boobs that he wanted? She goes, no, I got the boobs that he wanted she goes no i got the boobs that i've wanted ever since middle school yeah oh congratulations and then her mom told her to get them even bigger she's like this way you don't have to do it again like her first car you don't want to get a little smart car and then wonder why you're on a road trip and your car runs out of gas honey get the one you need now you know it's like when you need to get a new iPhone.

Like, don't bother with, like, a 16 gigabyte one because you're going to run out of that storage. Just go for 64 gigabytes. You get an iPhone 4S, I mean, that's already three models behind. Next year, you're going to be even four models behind. Don't do that to your iMessage, honey. Just spend the extra $200 and get the new nice one. So then we move to, yeah, Pooping

Open. Jax is getting so mad. I love that he got so mad. And finally he's like, everybody poops with the door open! I love this show so much. Jax, Andy really goes in on Jax. I mean, he did not let him go. This entire show he'd be like, so someone got married.

So Jax is a horrible human being what do you say for yourself jacks every other thing is jacks i know and i mean jacks is just like a giant like german shepherd so he just sort of like nods and just like goes back to his dog food bowl and just eats some more and then shits on the carpet you know like just takes it just takes it and then we talked about um the toms and their internship with lvp sangria and like tom sandoval's like he's like you know man like you know like you know what i can do so just like plug me in where i could do the work christian like that's all that's all like you know i don't have to tell you what to

do with me because you know me so just like tell me what i should be doing for you it really worked that way when you are volunteering your services to help out a brand i love that he was saying that tom number two is the one who ruined it by talking and like tom never gets to talk and so he's like okay they show a clip yeah okay so like imagine it i'm in a bar and then i see these dudes and i'm like hey dudes what are you up to and they're like hey man and i'm like, hey, dudes, what are you up to? And they're like, hey, man. And I'm like, what are you guys drinking? And they're like, beer. What are you drinking? And then I'm like, I'm having this really cool drink, man.

It's called Pump Sangria. You know what I mean, dude? And then, like, I've tricked them because, like, now they have it in their head. You know what I mean? And then Pandora. You can't just go around to dive balls in St. Louis, darling, and tell people to drink it. You know, it has to be bigger than that. Oh, all right.

Never mind, man. Well, that's my idea. What's your idea, Pandy? Oh, Pandy just didn't let me talk. I can't do that. I'm Tom calling her Pandy. Oh, Pandy. Pandy.

Tom is getting more and more enraged. He was getting so mad and I was loving it. I love when Tom flies off the handle. Yeah. I think five times. You get the cry face. I love it. And then speaking of Tom, the attention then turned to Ariana being a Debbie Downer.

And so they're like, well, why are you such a Debbie Downer? She's like, I'm not a Debbie Downer. It's just that, like, you know, I make funny comments that are used as ammunition against me. You know, and, like, it's tough because I take sketch comedy really seriously. So to have my micro sketches used against me, it really hurts. You can't be mad about someone i played who was wearing a wig because that was called good game so like anything else and andy said well can you see how people maybe can perceive that you're acting like you're on a different plane than them like well okay look

okay fine okay look ariana you're my friend i mean uh cena you. Ariana, you're my friend. I mean, Cena, you're my friend. You're my friend and you're my friend. Okay? You're all my friends. There. There. I said it. Until I tell you I'm better than you or from another planet, that's an assumption that you make. Like, great.

Then Andy wouldn't let her off the hook, so she just went crazy and started yelling at everybody. And she goes, this is the most toxic environment I've ever experienced in my life. How do you people not see it? How do you just not see it? It's disgusting. Like, when?

They're like, okay, well, thanks. Okay. We'll talk to you when you get some new boobs. Next is Kristen's therapy working. She's like, and I've even auditioned at the Groundlings. I know toxic environments. Take it very seriously, that sketch. You know, you guys are like, I'm like, yes, and, and you guys are like, yes, but.

Okay? It's toxic. No, and is not game. Okay? If I say you're not playing the game, it's because you're not playing the game, okay? Consider me in a Foot Locker uniform shirt, okay? I'm reffing. You're wrong. That's it. This is toxic!

It's like, I'm on a Herald team, and you guys are on a Mod team, okay? That's what I'm saying. And then they show Tom, and Tom's just getting mad for her. He's like, looking, giving dirty looks to everybody with his stiff, spray-tanned face. So good! He was fully turning into the Hulk.

Like, a little Hulk. Like a skinny, little, non-strong Hulk. He's like a reverse Hulk. Yeah. A Hulk that doesn't turn green, that just sort of is maybe an inch larger, and is just a little bit angrier. Hey, that big green guy just turned into Edward Norton. How the hell did that happen?

Hulk gets so mad he turns into Tom Sandoval. But I love it. Oh, Christian. Look at that. The aliens are so confused They actually stop invading us And they're like wait what Why did this big green guy turn into a little hipster waiter

We're out of here Fuck this place No one's face even moves on this planet We're out of here Are we going to turn into bartenders now We better leave I will not be bartending on earth when i'm 40 i'll tell you that much ah this pump team is disgusting why are we invading this planet

hey aliens what are you drinking i'm drinking something really cool it's called pump sangria hey look look there's the hostess sheena oh i i guess they some other aliens have already gotten here so maybe we should go well mom, Mum, I have to hand it to Tom Sandoval. Pump Greer has gone crazy in space. He's done it. I don't know how he did it, but he's done it. The orders are through the roof. Apparently they're using it to decimate other planets.

Oh, finally we can buy Max that used Camry we've always wanted to get him. He deserves it, darling. This is for your good work, Max, in helping the aliens destroy other aliens with pump sangria. Good work. The airbag is always out. I worry about your teeth, darling.

So Andy was asking about Kristen and therapy and he asked Ariana, like, do you think that therapy has changed Kristen and Ariana's like I think it's changed the way she knows how to behave in front of people I'm like so that's like a yes that's actually

that's called changing if you know how to change your behavior it's called change that's true actually I didn't even get that she's actually pretending to behave like in public and not making an ass out of herself uh yeah so it's for sure so that means she changed okay yes i think she was trying to insinuate like it's turned her into a sociopath okay now she's just got this fake personality that everybody's believing that she will still kill you in your

sleep so don't fall for it yeah and then this is when Tom starts to get super, super, super mad. And then Andy is so patronizing. And Tom's like, I just want to make a point. And then Andy's like, just go ahead, sweetie. It was so condescending. I like when Tom yelled at him, though. Yeah, Tom did. I can't talk.

I can't. Hey, man, don't give me that look, man. It makes it harder for me. You know that, OK? And they're like, OK. Everybody just sits there in silence and waits for him to compose himself i got attacked over and over about my girlfriend coming on my birthday trip it's not cool man like whose feelings were involved not mine man that's what i'm saying bro like not mine you know what i mean too angry oh but your tom impersonation

has gotten so it actually sounds exactly like tom it's crazy i can't do it for him i always try he well his friends get it but he doesn't get it they're like do it i'm like yeah christian they are all laughing he's like i don't sound like that you do you do darling so then they get into this whole thing with sheena right about like the mom i think this is when they start talking about the mom right like the whole mom gate and yes and and then ariana is like you know furious at sheena and does she say at some point that she wants to role play with sheena like how it all went down she's like you want to role play you want to fucking role play i don't even's like, you want a roleplay? You want a fucking roleplay? I don't even know what game you want to play.

Like, what game? It doesn't matter because I'll kill all the games. I take it so seriously. Sketch comedy. Hashtag sketch. I already offered to play Sorry with you. What else can I do? The only roles that I know about are the ones that get you in Olive Garden and Azusa. I guess those are more like sticks

though. Oh my god, it's all happening. You know, I love Sheena. I love her. Like, she's an asshole, and she's done a lot of really bad things, but I love Sheena, and I really don't think that she means to be... I really don't think she means it.

I know I sound like someone's crazy anti-justifying their serial killing, but I don't think she means it. I really don't. I agree. Ariana's like, oh, you want to read the text? Fine. Here's my text.

And she whips out her iPhone. These are in her words. And she's waving it around in everyone's face. In her words. I love, by the way, that last week on the reunion they showed the clip of Sheena ordering cocktails. That made me so happy. I was even wondering if that was a little bit of fan service to our podcast. Because truly one of my favorite clips.

I think I'm going to just try one of each of the Prime cocktails. Hey, I texted you some sound things, but I sent them to your text. Are you able to play them like that? Or do you have to download them? I can play them. your text. Are you able to play them like that? Or do you have to, like, download them? I could play them. Which one do you want me to play? Oh, I want you to play the one that says, la la la la la la la la. La la la la la la la pump rules?

Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna play it. Did you hear that? Oh no, it didn't come through. Okay, wait, I can open it with QuickTime. Oh, sorry, I don't want to mess everything up and, like, make a huge pause in the middle of the podcast. I should have sent them to you earlier, but I was just laughing so hard listening to Lala pronounce Lala. That shit is hilarious.

Lala. Lala. Lala. Lala. Lala. I'm going to get it one day. Lala. I'm going to try and find all six because because I think I counted six of herself saying,

I think you're going to order one of the Prime Cocktails and one of the Cucumber Cocktails, like all of my Prime Cocktails. But I love how, like, Sheena still doesn't understand why it was so shady what she did. And I love how Andy tried to explain it to her by saying, let me throw a stick in the river. I was like, wait, what? What's that? That saves no one. You know that, right? Like, if you're holding a branch, then they can grab the branch. But I think Andy meant what he said. He's like, grab the stick. She's still going down the river.

I think he meant, like, let me throw a wrench in this or something. But, like, throwing a stick in the river like that, I think that may help a beaver down the way at some point. Someone who's creating a dam like down the river, but like, it's not helping Sheena. But so then, well,

he meant it. He's never going to give anybody an actual branch to hold on to. God forbid. And then, and then Lisa Vanderpump tries to reason with Sheena and be like, well, what would you have said if Ariana had texted your mother about everything going on with Shay? And Sheena's like, I would have appreciated it.

I would have been thankful, because my mom likes to feel like she's taking care of me. I would help my mom. And then Ariana, look, I'm going to read these texts. And she starts reading them, and they're really not offensive, if you think about it. Like, they're talking for a long time. And then one of them is, it's about Tom all the time.

Tom will always look out for himself. Well, duh. Like, everyone. I mean, I think that everyone would agree. I agree. I agree. But, I mean, maybe it's because I'm used to it now. We've talked about it so much.

But I don't know. I don't care anymore. But I think that there's this faux... Not faux. There's this hiding behind honesty thing, which would seem counterintuitive. But like, well, I was just being honest. She asked me a question, so I answered it.

You don't have to answer every question that's asked of you. And you should know when to just defer and be polite and just say, well, you know. What does she know? Yeah, she doesn't know how to do that. She can't do it. She cannot do it. She broke a marriage. Even this one.

She's, like, crying down. She's like, well, I mean, what do you want me to say? Like, sorry. Is that what you want? Yes. Yeah. That's pretty much it. Well, okay, then fine.

And Ariana's like, it's on her phone. And Lisa goes, Ariana, please don't talk like that. It's on her phone! Lisa, I'm doing a sketch, okay? And this is what the character calls for, okay? I take it very seriously. Stop trying to

break my game lisa so um so then it turns to prude katie you know because katie has gained some weight you know it's not just stassi katie's gained some weight and i think that she is projecting actually it has nothing to do with her weight i take it all back she does this anyway even if she was still in her skinny self she is she hates lala because lala is younger than her and prettier and you know sluttier and happy and proud of it like she owns her sluttiness and that just is everything that katie is secretly jealous of and hates so it got to the topic of lala taking her top off and katie's like i just don't know why you would do that with like you know that's like people don't even know it's like you want so much attention

so i just love that Lala just destroyed Katie. Lala just totally. Katie has nothing but a sneering disapproval that doesn't even make any sense. Yeah. She is exactly like the mean girl in any. Like you're just like, I don't even understand. Like you need attention. So like, oh, it's a good day to take off my shirt.

And Lala goes, every day is a good day to take off your top and lisa well darling i mean james knows don't don't you darling like well we grew up i didn't even see a top until i was 20 darling it's just not the same for me and everybody's and jacks well this is america shut up jacks with your fucking everybody's acting innocent and then andy goes so katie and uh so britney what do you think i mean you're new to the group what did you think about lala taking off her top in hawaii she's like well i mean i'd already heard a lot of bad reputational things about lala and so i mean it just didn't make her look any better like i agree that it was really attention seeking really bitch you just

talked about your tits for 10 minutes. You just had a 10-minute segment where everybody talked about your tits. Yeah. It's like you guys are all on a reality show, furthermore. So you're all asking for attention in some way. And you've got Sheena with her tits hanging out currently. Like, they're barely covered. And then Stassi comes out.

Her tits are out. Kristen comes out. Her tits are out. They all look like they're wearing those drag queen rubber tits yeah it's true what we're all scared about tits now andy has asked everybody about who they fuck when they fuck why they fuck what's in their tits what their dick looks like why they like pooping but now it's scary that someone took off their top it's so america yeah it's stupid it's stupid. I paid a lot for those tits, you know? And so I want them to be covered because those are my tits.

Okay, Jax. Yeah, take it to Dubai. So then there's talk about Jax and his flirtations with Lala. And Jax is like, yeah, I was way more flirty than I should have been. I like that spin on it. Like, oh, he was just like way more flirty than he should be. You were basically saying, let's go fuck. Let's fuck.

That's like not flirty. That's your propositioning at that point. And he still lies about it. He lies even though they've just showed clips showing him do it. Yeah. And Lisa Vanderbilt was like, did you think that Brittany wouldn't find out? And Jack's like, whatever. Jack's is lie.

Every show has the lie, you know? And lie i promise i'm gonna fuck you yes you did say it yes you did and it's this big fight and that's the line it's like the enraged of this show yeah but i mean lala did get really screwed with that situation when that that when jack's lied to her face and was like i I never said any of this stuff. I mean, that's like the nightmare. That's the thing that women go through all the time is like being told they're the crazy ones when it's the guy who's being the asshole. So I always felt bad for Lala for that. Be nice to Lala.

Yeah, but it's also the same women who end up fucking that guy or flirting with him every day even they know he's like that. Yeah. It's like you can't even feel bad for anyone on this show because lala already knew everything about jack's coming in and she still would have let him put it inside her had he played it right yeah she slept with james i mean as much as i like lala there's only so much credibility you can still hold yeah the james thing really uh that that really uh torpedoes her so they're still on Jax's torpedo. That's good when we're talking about boobs so much.

Andy will not let Jax off the hook. They've just finished one Jax segment and now it's straight into the next one. Andy's like, speaking of telling stories that aren't true, let's talk about Jax stealing sunglasses. Hey Jax, how do you feel about you know that classy felony yeah he's like well i don't know i'm so embarrassed and then like well

what happened he's like well we're on a we're on a booze cruise and then i walked into the store and then you know i just walked out with the glasses i was like well we know that part but like why why jacks what are you thinking this is what kills me about this segment and it happens a few times with everybody in this show this becomes like their redemption and they're smiling like they won something i mean jacks is telling the story like yeah and i stole those glasses i mean come on i mean what am i gonna do and then andy questions britney well i, I was in the bar, too. I was drinking.

So he brings me the glasses. And I was like, oh, glasses, great. So she sounds like she obviously knew he stole that shit. Right. To me. I mean, she sounded so stupid when she said it. Well, because the price tag was probably still on it. The whole, like, magnet thing was probably hanging off the side.

Oh, it comes with a nice accessory. Didn't they say that he had put it in a different wrapper? It was like a different brand of wrapper or something. Like he already had one kind of, he already had like a Versace wrapper or something and he put it in another one. I mean, they told the story, but I was laughing so hard I didn't even hear it.

I thought they were saying that like he had previously purchased sunglasses for Sheena for her birthday, and he had bought them from Sunglass Hut. And in Sunglass Hut, they don't put the Tiffany wrapping around it, so it's just glasses. And so in this case, because she received just glasses instead of having a box or whatever, that therefore she thought it was a totally – she didn't realize they were stolen because it was just like at Sunglass hut when you buy sunglasses.

A really convoluted backstory. It was convoluted. It was nuts. And they all had like a different weird lie to cover up for. I mean, it's just weird. Andy questioning people about crime was killing me because he was going in so hard on Jax. And it reminded me of the tree, Judaist thing because he loves over questioning people about crimes like he's on some moral

high ground he's just talked about tits for I think an hour and he's like so Jax but you did steal it and you did do this and he's going in and I just thought this is our modern Doug Llewellyn for the people's court just standing outside the courtroom like how did you feel like you stole that

hey tree your uh husband fuck someone behind a tree how did you feel like you stole that hey tree your uh husband fuck someone behind a tree how do you feel about that oh andy yeah i um and then and then he asked lisa well why didn't you fire jacks and she's like well it's sort of like kicking him when he's down i'm like no it's like yeah that's actually exactly what you're supposed to do it's like it's not like he lost you know all his money uh because of a medical bill or it's not like like anyone god forbid in his family died he he like shoplifted like kicking someone when they're down for shoplifting is called consequence well lisa loves a broken hoe and this one's never fixable so he's gonna be her favorite for all time she forgives all of it it's so funny and then james well all right then that might not have been bad but he's also stolen things from your restaurant the silverware that you know

james tattletailing basic uh tattletailing in the back and lisa's like well yeah look all right all right so he's stolen, you know, half of his apartment furnishings come from pump. But at the end of the day, the tills are always 1000% with him. The tills are always correct. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. The tills might be correct, but look, it's weird. All your inventory go. Yep. And he's probably makes like $500 more a night than everybody else because he's stealing from that tip jar.

Yeah, exactly. So then Stassi... Tom. Jax. I just need help because I have tendencies and I need help from my friends and I need help from my boss and I just want to thank my girlfriend for being... Like he's won something. It was making me nuts.

And then Tom. All right, Jax, we get it, man. Like we know, but like, man, you just got to like train when you're about to do something bad. You need to think about it and then be like, I'm not going to do that. You know what I mean, bro? Like fix it in the future, man. I mean, I know I'm like Captain Obvious, but like, seriously, bro.

Okay. Okay. Just think about it, bro. So, Stassi. Poor Stassi. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh, she looked terrible. You know, I feel bad being like Andy Cohen and just harping on the way they look, but I'm going to harp on the way she looked.

She looked terrible. She got her boobs reduced and lifted. That's nice. But the hair, the outfit, the makeup, everything. It's like, Stassi, why are you not looking on screen and making adjustments? What is going on here? I don't know. I'm not really loving the open shirts.

Like every girl is wearing that open shirt of course people are going to be we have to talk about your tits are right in our face of course we have to comment on them i mean what the hell i mean i think they look good but i like that when she was getting yelled at by people she immediately covered up her boobs like now she can't be as like that is where all of her uh her what am i trying to say it where you're soft yeah like her softness like that's all her realness she's like oh my god i'm vulnerable now so i've got to cover my boobs well i like how when she when she first sits down she's like okay let me get on everyone's good good graces let me go after the low-hanging fruit and she like turns around and

starts going in on james she's like i don't think you should talk that way to him and like it made me embarrassed to be the same species like literally what species does that like literally you're like that movie with a girl who's an alien and she runs around and it's called species like I'm embarrassed you would probably even talk to that alien chick from Species like that and she could eat you. So like what kind of species are you to talk to Species like that? Seriously. I literally won't even eat a Reese's Pieces right now because it sounds too much like you and your species. I don't even want to go to the bathroom because out is gonna come feces which rhymes too much with species and i don't get you so like whatever like literally like who talks to women like that and he's like i

don't talk to women like that i don't i don't only some women some women not all women only some yeah and then abby well james but you spit on on Kristen's door. You called her ugly. You said she smelled. Andy's literal questions were killing me. I know. You spit on her door. You called her ugly. You said she smelled.

And then it's Kristen's face going. But then Stassi is, like, doing like apology thing like it took me a while to realize i have a heart full of anger and hate i'm like how is it possible for that to take any amount of time beyond a flash of a second like it is the most obvious thing like you could have had a giant neon sign above your head that said like heart full of anger and hate and an arrow pointing down onto your head into your heart she really is trying to come up with the perfect thing to say and you know i've i don't have a good memory so i forget very quickly i'm like oh my god stacy's back how funny

i missed her blah blah blah but then when they were showing those flashbacks of the shit she did, oh my god. Her dumping Katie was really harsh. I don't remember that it was that harsh. And what was the other one they showed? They just showed like 100 clips of her being an awful human being. And then they – he was like remember that reunion and they showed last year's or the reunion where she was like i will never step foot literally in this non-chic as fuck place ever a fucking gap do you understand me and he's like but it's your last reunion aren't you gonna be sad no i'm gonna

be so happy to leave here but they also showed tom and ariana and they were looking at each other in that angry way that they still look at each other now. And I was cracking up. It's like different hairdos. But he's like, can you believe they're saying this? She's like, people are toxic. The same exact looks from last year. It's the worst sketch I've ever been in. And I love how then Tom starts going in on Stassi.

And he's like, I just question your agenda. I question the timing of it. He's like, I have an issue and I feel like someone's being manipulative. I was like, not in front of Lisa. Not in timing of it. I don't know. He's like, I have an issue and I feel like someone's being manipulative. I was like, not in front of Lisa, not in front of Lisa. Do you know what I've done for you? How could you say manipulative?

Ken loved you. Well, Lisa Vanderpump summed it up. What everyone knows, when no one was, everyone I guess was afraid to say, she's like, well,

I think that if there had never been a show, we never would have heard of Saucy ever again. And they're like, yep, yep, yep. Saucy. Lisa was not even giving that girl one inch. And that's what I say when I want to see that on Beverly Hills. She's like, nope, that's it. At first I thought she was being genuine. And then the second the cameras come back on, she's talking crap about me again.

And she was not having it. And when she told her normal, I've done everything for you. And Stassi keeps trying. But I'm trying to see. I'm sorry. No, I've done everything. Even when not just. She goes, tell me, Stassi.

Do you honestly think that I haven't done things for you? And Stassi goes, well, like, you gave me a job at Sir, do you honestly think that I haven't done things for you? And Stassi goes, well, like, you gave me a job at Sir's, so, like, that was good because, like, Sir's like my family. She goes, no, we're not even talking about Sir. We're talking about a television career. You stupid bitch. I gave you a career. And then when you wanted to throw it away, I begged you to keep your career. She's like, what do you want me to say?

I mean, like, I'm saying I'm sorry. And then Lisa just kept shooting her down and her fake tears would stop immediately. I mean, that girl is kind of a sociopath. Yeah, I think that Stassi is really dumb. She put all this effort into an apology tour. And then she winds up bashing Lisa nonetheless. Like, you just can't do that. Like, if you're going to do the apology tour, And then she winds up bashing Lisa. Nonetheless, like you just can't do that. Like if you're going to do the apology tour,

you got to stick to it. Yep. She lost that one, but it was very funny because that was a really nice long chunk where Stassi was being really funny. I think a lot of stuff she was saying was still like fun old Stassi, but then they showed those old clips and then Lisa never let her off the hook.

Oh, it was delicious. Yeah. Yeah. Is that how it ended? Yeah. an old Stassi, but then they showed those old clips and then Lisa never let her off the hook. Oh, it was delicious. Yeah. Is that how it ended? Yeah, that's pretty much how it ended. And that's how this podcast will end. Oh, and then next week, I can't believe there's another reunion. Is there going to be three for every show now?

Yeah, I think most of it. I feel like Potomac will only get two. But yeah, I think that's the standard is usually three episodes. Oh, man. It's going to be even better. They just keep yelling at each other. Yeah, it'll be good. So in the meantime, we really hope that if you're in the L.A. area, you come to the Improv.

You can buy your tickets online because who knows? Maybe it'll sell out. That'll be cool. But it's free. And also they're free. Yeah. So just go online to make sure you get a seat. Yeah, exactly.

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