Watch What Crappens - #2811 Top Chef S22E6 Part Two: Pickle Your Poison

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

This is part 2 of 2!This week on Top Chef: Destination Canada, the cheftestants must make magic out of their Chipotle lunch orders.  Afterwards they must present a progressive pickle meal, which proves to be a dill-breaker for one unlucky chef. To watch this recap on video, listen to our White Lotus bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Kat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Watch what happens, oh well you won't be too happy Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Well hello and welcome to Watch What Happens This is part 2 of a 2 part recap If you're like, hey wait a minute I didn't hear part 1

Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps, go back and listen to part 1 Ok, it's before this one Bye, enjoy the show show. So Lana, meanwhile, is like, guys, today's a big day. We're keeping communication lines open. We want to have full access to my childhood pickle fridge. Okay. And we're going to win as a team. We're going to lose as a team. She says the most basic thing. She's like the Kristen of chefs. She was just like, guys, today is a competition. We're all here competing. But that doesn't mean that we're not a family. Because kitchens are homes and chefs are families.

Do we understand? OK, guys, teamwork. Thank you, AI Kristen slash Lana. So Tristan is talking about his dish, whatever. And Massimo, his canola's turned out really well. Because the edit that he's getting, it's kind of like he's either gonna be terrible this episode or great.

But his canolas are good, so he looks happy. And he says, maybe you'd be clever if I do a little brunoise of fried potatoes, which is always like, no, don't, everything's fine. It's always the person who does the last minute addition on the day of that fucks it all up. You're right.

That's what sent Kat and Corwin home when they added shit to their weird cod shit shit. So then he's like, okay, I'm gonna do a brunoise. Like, no, don't do it. Your canola turned out well. And then it all goes up in flames and he's like, oh, and he covers it with a baking sheet. And he's like, well, you know,

I threw some potatoes in a pot of oil without having strained the potatoes. Basically it's how you build a bomb. Yeah, it literally explodes into fire. It's always some tragedy with him, it's so funny. So Bailey's like, well, you know, I'm not mad at Mossimo. I'm just disappointed. Wait, why is she disappointed?

Why are you so disappointed? He caused a grease fire and you're the one who's making pasta for your dessert. I'm disappointed in you. So Tristan, they're basically like shading him, like rookie move. Wow, you put wet potatoes into blazing hot oil. And I did tell you the story.

I know I told at least last season that at the time in high school when I like heated, super heated some oil in a pan and then threw in frozen spring rolls and the oil exploded all over the kitchen. And I was like, my cat was there and I was like, run and I pushed the cat out of the kitchen. I'm surprised it did not burn down the whole house.

Trauma. We've all been there. When I worked at the bowling alley when I was like 14, 13 and 14, they didn't really tell me how to do a lot of stuff. And I was the cook in the snack bar, okay? Then my aunt's just like, I said, people want fries. And she's on the phone with me.

And she's like, Ronnie, all you do is you take the fries and you throw them in the fryer. It's already warmed up. All you gotta do is throw it in the oil. So she's like, you see the basket, take it out of the thing. So I did. Well, you know, fries come straight out of the freezer. Okay. That's how they work in restaurants like that. And that's what happens. They just explode. And I was

like, Oh my God, they exploded. She's like, stand back. You fucking idiot. If there's a cat fighting back there. Push the cat out of the way and stand back. Yeah. She's like, you literally stand away. I'm like, they're supposed to do that. She's like, yeah, that's how it works. When water goes into a fryer, I'm like, but then why do we put water into a fryer?

She goes, what do you want us? Okay, Ronnie, take two hours to de-thaw the french fries out and dry them. I was like, okay. But yeah, it's terrifying. It's scary. It is, but yeah, that's how you do it. It's scary. I feel like she's- that's how you do it. It's scary.

Turned out great. I feel like talking about all this frozen stuff in oil, I become my own inner Cesar after that spring roll incident and I was just like trembling in the corner of the kitchen, like what did I do to myself? So they, Mossimo's stupid. So luckily he actually decides not to use his terror potatoes because most chefs are like,

well, I caused a bomb in the kitchen, but I'm going to throw those raw, but seared potatoes into my dish anyway, because I made them. He is smart and does not. So then, um, Kristen welcomes Danielle. Oh my God, everyone, Danielle, thank you so much for having us. So we have two teams of five. She tells them the rules and she's asked if anyone's not a fan of pickles. And Claire's like, oh, I love a good pickle. It's often the accompaniment. But this time to see the accompaniment come into the full star role. I'm so

excited to see what this journey for the pickle entails. Yeah, that's what Gail felt the second I left. Sorry it's not working out for you. Gail! Oh, I'm just, you know, I love a good pickle. So delicious. But anyway, what are we having for dinner tonight? Surely not a pickle dinner, right? Why are you asking me? Poor Gail. Always the pickle, never the sandwich. Am I right, Gail? Always the pickle, never the sandwich. Am I right, Gail? Gail, get those cornichons out of your ears. Claire's here. We're trying to impress her. So, not much time. Time to play some first course. So, they're all doing that. And the first plate is Cornichon. So it's Massimo and, Massimo and Chey at first. So Massimo, I was inspired by a true Montreal classic, me. Ha ha. And the steak tartare from L'Express,

which is basically a place that sells very expensive t-shirts for women. It's the best in the world. So I made a hybrid classic French tartare with a deconstructed hybrid of a canola and a fried pickle. You know, express is a good word to use for Gail. That's sort of her mode she enters when she finds out the malamars are restocked. Ha! Comedy Padma.

So one of the guest judges is like, um, is this a traditional Italian canola dough? Tell me, tell me about this imposter canola. And he's like, no, luckily it's it didn't burn or come apart because that would have been embarrassing. I'm not afraid to embarrass myself as you can tell by my hair. Oh, I'll tell you else. Who else isn't afraid of embarrassing themselves? My son, becoming a mixologist with a world class chef father Doesn't want to just follow in my footsteps. That's fine, just embarrass yourself. Seems to be fine with it.

What's up with this new generation anyway? Well, one thing that kid never uses as an ingredient is pride. I'll tell you that. Good for him. Good for him. Just to not care. Just to not care.

What a, yeah, you sort of have to admire it. I mean, don't really have to, I mean, I don't, but someone does, I'm sure. So, Shuey is like, I'm starting with a little hors d'oeuvre of fried pickled mushroom, tartare, Dijonais, you know, light things, mayonnaise-based things, deep fried things, but you know, the pickled, fried mushroom, that's more the main thing.

I mean, it looks small, but it's mean, it's hors d'oeuvre. I mean, don't think it's like some big deal. I'm a bottom bitch. Am I on the bottom? Just tell me I'm on the bottom right now. I can't handle this He his dish looks like someone literally chewed it and spat it back out onto the plate I was like this looks I mean, I would have eaten the fuck out of it But I was like compared to it like like Masi Mo's was like this such as elegant little cigar like the canola It's just so structured and perfect and beautiful.

And then Shwe is just like, it literally looked like a giant, a giant piece of raw, like chewy meat that someone couldn't digest and just- Yeah, it looked like a brown chewed up piece of gum. And then with the hunks, you know, the hunks of raw meat on top, it just didn't, it did not look good.

And he goes, they're all kind of looking at it like that. So he goes, yeah, you know, I was looking for a trashy fancy feel, right? Like fried chicken with caviar on top. So this should give you the same kind of vibe, even though it's not, you know, fried chicken or caviar. Many of the good things, it's just other stuff. It's not Chipotle, am I right?

Waaah! So, Christian's like, okay, well it's time to vote, which means you get to be publicly humiliated. All right, everyone pass them down. Okay, with a score of six to two, Massimo, congratulations. You were much better than whatever the hell that thing was that Schweiss served us. And Massimo's like, privilege, privilege cooking for you guys, boom!

So the kitchen went right now. Okay, bye. So Danny's like, yeah, I voted for Mossimo and you didn't shy away from the pickle and tasting the dough on its own. You definitely got some of that acidity, which is better on my, listen, here's the nicest compliment on my challenge,

on my season. Somebody said, Danny, this tastes like cheese. Remember, guys? Yeah. You know, you showed, Massimo, you showed a lot of restraint and balance. Unlike Gail's patterns today, am I right? Yeah, unlike Gail's patterns, wait a second, Tom, you took my line. Gail's like, it was a beautiful dish.

And Shwe, your pickle fried mushroom had enormous pickle flavor. The tipping point for me. Oh, God, she's just writing them for me. Can I please come back to life? Gale's tipping point was taking her first step in the morning. Oopsie daisy.

But you know what? It could have been presented in a slightly tighter way. Oh my God, Jesus Christ. She was writing me a welcome home book. I'm just sad I'm a spectral presence. Otherwise you could see me rolling my eyes and just nudging Danny and saying, this one, am I right?

It's comedy. All right, so next round. Vinny, can you tell us about your dish? And he's like, Nomad, Nomad, Nomad, Nomad. Okay, North of Madison, I don't know. It runs North to South, so how could that be possible? No, it's a restaurant, Nomad. I won, right?

I've worked with Nomad. He literally says, so here we have a pickled, which I hate the we, but here we have a pickled Brian Atlantic salmon, and this is probably one of the first dishes I put out at the Nomad. Shut up. God. Andare's like, oh, any flashbacks, Danny,

to when this idiot was cooking with you in that restaurant? He's like, no, I blocked it all out. And he's just ass kissing again because Danny worked at the Nomad. So he's like, yeah, put this out at the Nomad. Me and you, Nomad brothers, right? Remember the Nomad? Yeah, high five Nomad.

What? Tristan's like, well, high five Nomad, what? Tristan's like, well, I have a charred mackerel with a half sour celeriac vichyssoie underneath is a cucumber and a celeriac pickle au jus lier and some pickle dulce and then there's some burnt pickles as well. I fucking hate everything about this dish, enjoy. And they're like, wow, he hates it. So much better than Vinny's though, am I right?

But then we see the dish and I'm like, that looks nice, but those were a lot of fancy words. Half-sourced celery-like vichyssoise, piccola julie, picco dulce. I'm like, girl, come on now, you're over fancying this. But it's still a good, and I want him to beat the fuck out of Vinny,

so I was okay with it. All right, so it's time to vote and we have a full sweep here. This one actually got eight votes because Zuzer Lee came back just to vote to say that he did not like Vinny's dish. So he just, a bonus anti-Vinny vote from Zuzer. That's really remarkable, never had that happen.

But on the bright spot, Vinny, you did get half of your dream term, no. Okay, go back to the kitchen. Thank you. So Vinny, just don't want you to think about this too hard, but you are on the team that is going to win, but you will have the worst dish on that team. Okay.

Yes. Yes. Welcome Vinny to his new restaurant. No, thank you. No, thank you. We're welcoming him to his his new restaurant. No, thank you. No, thank you. We're welcoming him to his new, his other new restaurant called, I am mad at how crappy this dish is. Yes, mad.

Yes, mad. Yes, mad. Tom loves Tristan's wild ideas. And Matthew's like, for me, you know, you take a super humble ingredient, like hell, to execute something like that. I mean, that is unbelievable. Like hell, leaving leftovers.

Unbelievable. This is one of the best things I've ever had. I can't believe how delicious this is. It is absolutely absolutely truly wonderful. And Vinny, I enjoyed the plate you selected. That was a nice, nice, nice shape. Yeah, Tom said it's the best thing he's ever had, I'm sure. So then in the kitchen, Tristan's like, full sweep guys.

And Vinny's like, well, I get no votes today cause I suck. So now it's one to one. Luckily I got the rest of my atonium to hopefully bring it home because not one of them has worked at Nomad. So then we cut to Henry and he's like yesterday I spent all my time making all these beautiful garnishes and pickles and now I just have to finish the short ribs and it's a very simple process. I'm going to take all these garnishes that I slaved over and they all taste wonderful and all I have to do is take them

and put them on my dish, which is already ready to do. Very easy, what could go wrong? Yeah, meanwhile, Cesar's ice cream is coming along. It's like, let's just get weird, right? So Katiana has Shwe try her dish and it has too much acid. And she's like, well, oh God, I have a security blanket. Thank God, tofu.

So I decided to add the squeezed tofu and fold it into the cucumber porridge. Oh no, I didn't realize watching this, it's a last minute tofu. Last minute, yeah, last minute tofu. Yeah, so when you have something as- Tofu needs so much work to be decent. Like, let's face it, nobody's like,

you know what, I want raw tofu. No, you need to work the tofu. Excuse you, when you have something that is full of flavor as a cucumber porridge, tofu just adds magic to it. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Uh. Uh. Wow, last time God found something bland and added a bunch of tofu to it was Gale. Am I right, tofu? Tofu Gale? Cucumber porridge, also known as a spa day for Gale. Just slathers it right on her eyes. Oh gosh. She's like, well, you know,

it's a little soft, but I figure I like crumbled tofu. So I like that texture. No girl, no. Okay. So she's up against Lana. So they start with Lana and she did a seared scallop. She's like, I brined it in dill pickle. You know, the dill pickle liquid is, you know, the sauce is dill pickle, beurre blanc. And on top of that is a grilled pickle dill relish. So that was good. I believe in us.

You know, I just want the judges to remember that we're a family and we're a team. So. Also, I brought this Polaroid camera. I thought we could all take a photo together and my mom could put this on the, on my pickle fridge at home. So Katiana did a roasted dilly cucumber with dill pickle and smoked claim vinegarette or clam vinegarette and some potatoes that have been poached in the

pickle brine. And then this is when you know she's done something wrong, Tom goes, the porridge is made with what? Uh oh, that's Tom's way of saying, this is fucking crap. I just ate one of the best things in my entire life and now I've got to eat this weird pickle porridge? No, thank you. Also, just another fail is just using the word porridge in a meal.

Nobody wants that. Nobody wants it. I'm sorry, there's no way you're gonna say porridge and people are gonna be like, oh my God, that's great. It's like the shit they serve you in jail. You gotta use the French word. The French word is, bouille, bouille, bouille.

You gotta say, it's a cucumber bouille. Yeah. Cucumber bouille. Then it's like, oh, it's a bouille. It's not a porridge, it's a boule. And she says, yeah, this was made with cucumber seeds, but they were pressed overnight. Who cares?

There's still cucumber seeds, you know? So Kristen's like, okay, by a vote of seven to one, Lana, congratulations. Okay, does anybody want to admit to voting for Katiana? Did you make a mistake? Who did that? Who did that? Who did that? Was it you, Claire?

Absolutely not, I wouldn't have to do such a thing. Gail, was it you? Gail's like, well, I enjoy a pressed cucumber seed. What can I say? Yeah. So Tom loved the winning dish, but Danny is like the porridge on the bottom muddled up that whole dish.

I mean, if you would have left that off, I think that would have been completely different. You know, unfortunately, you didn't. So it sucked. You suck. Bye. You suck. You're terrible. Bye. Wow. Take your press cucumber seeds and get the hell out of here. So, um, then Katiana is not feeling great, but like whatever, she's just going to focus on helping the team win. So Shwe is like, okay, well, now that I've served them a chewed up piece of dog food, why don't I just

take every dish I see and throw it in the garbage? No one needs these things, right? Oh my God. He thinks he's being helpful, but he's in that frantic I fucked it up for my team state. So he's not thinking straight. That's what I suspect. And he's gonna clean off all the mise en place, all of Katya's mise en place,

so that way it's gonna be easy for everyone else. But what he doesn't realize is that Henry's like, wait, that's my mise en place. I knew something was wrong the second he goes, well, I guess I'll clear off Katya's shit. Cause it sounded like kind of rude, like she left her station dirty. And I was like, well, that's weird.

I wonder if there's going to be drama that they left that in. And Henry's like, yeah, you just threw away my mise en place. He goes, oh my God. And he's just like, I just threw away his entire dish. Oh, Jesus. Why would you do that? Why were you, what were you thinking, sir? No, overactive cleaner.

And Henry's also already fucked anyway, you know, it's Henry. So he's like, oh my God, he just threw away my entire mise en place, no. He's like, oh, I thought it was Katiana's because there were plates that were on a counter and I just assumed they were Katiana's that had no good reason to think they were Katiana's. He's like, no.

Then he's like, I just want to fall into a hole. I was stressed. When that happened, I was like, I don't know what happens. Like, that's terrible. Yeah. So he's got some daikon, and he's got some short rib, and he's got some sauce, so that's good. So he plates what he has.

But yeah, yeah, so they go serve and uh, Paula's sorry, go ahead. No, I was just saying he just looked poor Henry. He looked so sad. He was just so crestfallen. He was like, really? So Paula's like, okay, I've grilled octopus with a spicy pickle chimichurri with braised pickle beets and some serrano peppers. And they're like, okay, Kristen, Henry, what did you do with the spicy pickle? He's like, braised short rib with fermented collard greens and spicy pickle foam.

Mm. And Danielle, whoever Danielle is like, and how many hours did you cook the short ribs? He's like, I cooked it in the pressure cooker for 30 minutes and then I cooked it again the last hour and a half. And I was like, all right, great. You made a foam and a short rib, congratulations.

Okay, so time to vote. And if the purple team takes this, they win. So Henry, if your dish is really, your dish is the difference between your team losing and someone going home versus staying. So no pressure, Henry. No pressure, Henry, because you did just serve us a dish that looks like it's topped with a nuclear waste spitball.

So that's for sure gonna go into this. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen,

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This is a story that had everyone talking. Listen to the original Dying for Sex and brand new episodes on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the original series Okay, guys, let's vote. Let's vote. 7 to 1. Who's the one person who keeps voting for the shitty dishes? Who is the dissenting voice? Every single one has been like this, with exception of Vinny.

Vinny is the only one who had like a unanimous, no, that was garbage. Yeah, but at this point, there's someone fucking with it. Someone's trolling. So Paula wins that one. And Claire's like, oh God, I thought this was just such a wonderful expression

of the pickle. You really layered everything beautifully. It was like a harp playing, but the harps music was all pickles splitting out at me. It was just gorgeous. Symphony. I actually really like what you did, Henry, but I wasn't getting a pickle enough, not enough pickle here.

And Chris, well, that's the first time Gail's ever said that. Normally she's got plenty of pickles. Normally she does these judging while she's still got a pickle hanging out of her mouth. Gail saying not enough pickle, that's what she also tells Starbucks every time she gets a cold brew.

Wow, Gail, you're not talking to your bath water. So Paula can tell her team that they all won, but they are still gonna taste the last dishes. So Shoaie feels terrible, of course. And Henry's like, I lost it for the whole team. None of us is going home and I feel embarrassed. I feel sad. No, no, now one of us is going home. I feel embarrassed. I feel sad. I should have taken this with my pickle foam. So he goes, so he goes off to the court. He disappears and comes back with bloodshot eyes.

He's like, I cried in the bathroom like a civilized human being. I know I feel so bad for Henry, but I can't feel too bad for him because he did make a pickle foam. That's unforgivable. Yeah, but it felt like this was actually a dish that he could have turned the corner with. Like his streak of bad luck could have ended here and it didn't.

So Cesar is his ice cream. It's time for the final bread and butter pickles. So Kristen's like, Bailey, tell us about your bread and butter not dessert pickle dish. Really, pasta's the final course. Really, thanks a lot. Thanks a lot for this. Can't wait to have a nice heavy pasta now.

So Bailey's like, I had a really fun idea to make a ricotta filling with the pickle and red wine braised beef ragu and finish it with a little, you know, BBGR and Parmesan fondue to, you know, just a, oh great, thanks, love that. Love that as a dessert. That's, when I go to Carvel, I'm like, please give me a ricotta and pickle and red wine braised beef ragu sundae. Thanks so much. And Kristen's like, yeah, in terms of progression, what were the

thoughts about ending on a pasta? Well, you know, Padma told me that Gail ends the night sleeping in pasta, so I figured why not give it a go, surely. Maybe it'll work here. Okay, fine. Caesar, and Caesar's like, I had a dessert, I have a curd made out of pickling liquid and bread and butter pickles

and dill ice cream and bread and butter pickle. I'm just scared for my rutabaga. I don't know if I turned the light on before I left for this competition. It's like, yeah, you know, the chart has mustard power. Don't hit me. You know, that'd be great. Just don't hit me.

And Gale's like, have you ever made anything like this before, Caesar? And he's like, no. She goes, hmm. You know when Gale acts like she's gonna be mean? She's like, hmm. So Tom's like, well, has anybody ever made anything like this?

Because I know one person who hasn't, my son. Oh, but here's something he has done. He's made a pickle back, congratulations. You put pickle juice and whiskey together. Congratulations, you really invented nothing new. So Caesar wins, or Cesar wins this one hands down. He wins unanimously. And Tom's like, oh, Bailey, you know, it was a good dish,

but you know, this one was out of this world. You know, the curd, beautifully made, really smooth. It just has the right amount of sugar, but the pickles, whoa, the pickles really come through. Whoa, oh, God, mmm, God, mmm. Pickles, pickles, wow, pickles in my ice cream. Who knew? Who knew?

You know, this is just, this just reminds me of that old adage. If it looks like it's got curds, terrible. But if it is a curd, wonderful. Why are you reading girls' marriage vows at the judge's table? So, um, so Saizer's happy and now the chefs leave, they talk a little bit about it and Kristen's like, overall, I think the chefs got creative and there's always these really exciting moments, not with Vinny, of course, really boring there,

that was like the most boring moment of the entire season and also last season and I'm talking about Wisconsin. His was the worst moment of between this and Top Chef Wisconsin, think about that. Anyway, there's one or two times during the course of our dining where you're just like, you know, excited. So basically the two best dishes are from the green team which sucks because the green team lost so now what do we do? Don't don't on

So Kristin is like well the purple team won this challenge However, it was a great showing and Tom's like well if this kind of level of cooking continues The finale is gonna be pickled my right. All. There were two dishes that were probably some of the best dishes I've ever had on the show. Tristan and Caesar, sorry, you can't win. So go stand over there. By the way, Tom loves doing that little tease. Oh, I mean, if this level of cooking continues, we're going to have a tremendous season. And if this level of cooking continues, we're going to have an amazing finale. I mean, if

this level of cooking continues, I mean, have an amazing finale. I mean, if this level of cooking continues, I mean, the Oscars can be great this year. It's... Okay, so Danny, Danny's like the winning chef tonight, gave us a dish that highlighted the pickle incredibly. Unfortunately, didn't use cheese. So that was weird,

but it showed a ton of technique and, you know, like let's stop fucking around. It was Mossimo. It was Mossimo. Claire's like, Mossimo, you were like a poetry written from pickles. You were pickled poetry. God damn it. Unfortunately, we've already decided

that you're not allowed into the James Beard house because we don't want you burning it down. So just enjoy this jar of classic classics and be honest. But I would like to... I would like to announce that we've renamed the James Beard House to the James Pickle House. Just love with pickles now. Pickles, the new art.

That tartare, first of all, was an excellent tartar. It has flavor. It was seasoned well. It really delivered. And you really integrated the pickle on every level of that tartar. Yes, Gail. Unlike the tartar that's on your teeth, which is a lot. Stunning because Gail integrated the tartar from her teeth onto the tartar of your pickle. Crazy. He's like, well, thank you because you know I was throwing an arrow at you with the Lixpress tartar. She's like, yes, I know. Oh, really? Did you add a marshmallow onto that arrow?

Because Gail really went for it. Gail's like, I know. I felt it. It was a cupid right to my heart. It might as well have been a decently cooked egg. Really appreciate that. You've seen a million Tartarus. You know, this was something completely new and different, possibly even better than Lixpress. Well, because be honest, the only one who likes the Lixpress Tartarus, Gail.

I know, right? Thanks, Tom. It's backing me up on that one. So, I'm so proud of my team team because we worked as a cohesive unit. Go ahead, Lana, say it. As a family. Right. But that means the most is what? Tom gave me a compliment? Oh my God. These things more than victory. They're more than victory.

Potato bomb! All right. Well, congratulations, Mossimo. You just won immunity. And Claire has a special prize for you. Yes, the James Beard Foundation gives you the honor of having a Starbucks card. Please enjoy $5. This was a weird one there. She goes, as a winner of this challenge, we would like to invite you to take one of our coveted spot at the James Beard chef

Bootcamp for policy and change. All right, boot camp for policy and change. What the fuck is that? I Love this. They're gonna come to this boot camp. It's already sounds ridiculous. All right, everyone We are here at this very important prestigious boot camp for policy and change where we are going to enact policy and change on a global level. Over here, we have Govind Anand, whose restaurants have revolutionized the space and the distance between food and impact. And over here, we have Massimo,

who made a really good pickle on Top Chef. It's just such a shitty award to win. Like, oh wow, I get to go to the boot camp for policy and change. Do I put that on my resume? Like no one wants to see that on my goddamn LinkedIn. Yes, I can't wait for Mossimo to be an ambassador to making a global impact on this level.

Girl, Mossimo just got soapy water all over food last week because he was running with this fucking bucket of soap water in the kitchen, okay? Like I don't want him in charge of policy and change. I know, he's like, oh, I can't wait. I can't wait to be in a stuffy hotel ballroom somewhere, listening to lectures and watching PowerPoints about how this-

Shittiest award ever. This is the shittiest. He got, can't even pretend he's excited. He's like, wow, that is so generous. So no money? Like, nope, policy and change. Okay.

You can pay for your own hotel. Okay. There's no food allowance. We give you money, it's just change, about 75 cents. So Chris is like, all all right um green team you lost the head-to-head competition mmm so you can come here all right okay let's start Henry you had the spicy pickle did your dish turn out the way you wanted it to turn out excuse me how many times have to tell you and here let me show you did

you mean for your food to be so terrible? Henry's like, no, I mean, everything was going really well for me. And then the last 10 minutes I, and he keeps looking over at Shwe to say something. Who's terrified over there. He's got like teary eyes and he's not saying anything, which is super shitty that no one has said anything yet. So he's like, I just lost my mise en place and Kristen goes, what? Where did you lose your mise en place? And he goes, um, no, still nobody says anything. And he goes, into the garbage can.

And she goes, whoa, into the garbage can, what kind of fucking moron are you? And finally, Shwe is like, I was trying to be helpful and clean up and I didn't realize that those garnishes were actually Henry's garnishes. To be fair, they look like trash. So to be fair, and I say this as someone who served a dish that looked like shoot up food and the so Chris was like, Oh, so what was missing? She's like, um, dill puree mixed in with some of the dill pickles and daikon that was braised

in the pickle liquid on some more pickle liquid and then three more items that I'd pickled. I took, I found Caesar's bedroom rutabaga and I pickled that one too, sorry bro, but like I had to do it. So it was really tough. All right, stop, stop just listing off items in Gale's wardrobe. Sorry.

Ghost, Ghost, Ghost, Ghost, Ghost Terry Gar gave me that joke. She's a comedian friend of mine. More of a comic actress. So Cal goes, well, that explains everything. And Tom's like, yeah, because you know what we were missing? Pickles. We missed it. We missed the pickles. That's like every supermarket after Gale's been through it. So Danny says, look at the sauce, I taste a little pickle, but the braised short ribs could have been more tender. So he did also fuck up his short ribs by the way. So then Chris-

And also by the way, like use like, it's nice that the garnish has brought out the pickle, but like the pickle should have also been inherently part of the star of the star protein, you know? Yeah. So now they move on to Katiana. And Kristen's like, so when you plated that and you looked at that, were you thinking just looks a little bit curdled?

I mean, what were you thinking? Here, let me revise that. Katiana, how was today for you? Because you gave us a plate full of vomit. Katiana, did you mean for this to look like a discarded liposuction bag after a surgery? So Katiana was like, well, the porridge, it's just, I thought it'd be nice to have something

smooth and creamy to balance it out and like acid and crunch. So I was like, let me add a lot of crunch to this. So naturally I reached for the tofu. Yes, soft tofu. That's how I did it. And okay, it was a little muddled looking and Claire goes, yeah, that didn't translate. It felt a bit puzzling. You know, what I've learned today

is pickles should speak to me and they often did, or sing to me, or gently soothe me to sleep. This did nothing but confuse me. And I'd hate to say this to pickles, but pickles confused me today. The good news is we've taken your curdled mess and we've made it the first bullet point for our boot camp for policy and change. How to never have this dish ever appear in front of a human again. All right, Massimo, your bootcamp is already over. Just don't spread it around. Don't do this. Don't do be like, don't be like this idiot. So Tom's like, well, you know, the question is, what's the best thing for underneath that dish? Because you have these fresh flavors

and there's a creamy thing and it looks broken and it didn't have a good texture. I mean, it just didn't work. I mean, it's just like my son, didn't work. Never. Never did, never will. All right, Shwai, how did your dish turn out? He's like, I think it turned out pretty good.

I was thinking about, you know, pickling and other, one other, like I want to do like a one bititer mushroom steak tartare as hors d'oeuvres. And Danny's like, yeah, the way you described it as fancy and trashy, I think you understood that perspective, mainly the trashy part. Leave off the why, just trash. Which is, I'm assuming why you served it the way you did. So did you put it in your mouth

and then directly onto the plate after that? I'm just confused about that texture. So was this, did you eat the pickle and then regurgitate that possibly poo it out and then you put that on a plate or yeah, I'm just trying to figure this out. Which end did it come out of? And Kristen's like, okay, I don't want to really think about that dish anymore. so we'll call you all out in a bit, thank you. So- I like that because I think the pickle really did come

through on the mushroom itself though, you know, since it was topped with pickles. So that was good. The way that you put pickles on it, I really tasted the pickles in that topping because they were pickles, right? Yeah, I really tasted the pickle when you served us the pickle.

Um, so then Lana's like, are? Yeah, I really tasted the pickle when you sort of was the pickle. So then Alana was like, are you okay, Schwa? You're incredibly quiet. Sort of like my parents when they had to give up their dream of a flat screen TV in order to fund my pickle refrigerator. Now that said, we did spend a couple of years watching Charlie's Angels in the refrigerator. So that wasn't so bad,

except the pickles warmed up a little bit. But you know, I just turned to my mom and I said, mom, I want you to remember this. We may be watching a tiny television in a new refrigerator, but we're family. We're a team. We're gonna watch this show as a team. And if later on I have to take some pickles out of this jar

and reenact what happened in a puppet, in a pickle puppetry moment. I will do it. Pickle puppetry. So Lana's, you know, so basically Shwe feels terrible. He's like, I really feel like I screwed my teammate. Yeah. Especially when you didn't say anything until you absolutely fucking had to do that. That was crazy. Like you should have said something much sooner. I don't know when I would have run out there and been like,

his dish didn't suck this bad. I fucked him up. Sorry. Yeah, I would have just started that, but he's like, yeah, I feel like I screwed my teammate. I was like, you know, I'm really glad that he feels that way that he feels like he did that because guess what? You actually did. You actually did. It's actually not, not a feeling. It is a fact. You screwed him over big time. Well, it's sad though, cause he didn't mean it. You know, it was an accident. No, I know.

It was moun-slaughter. It was pickle-slaughter. Leave no pickle behind. Yeah, you don't have to mean it to still go to prison. Okay. Yep. Well, you know, had Henry completed his dish, this may have just been the winning team.

So he just, I just want to say, when Henry watches his back and he realizes that he could have been the hero that saved everything and this could be a turnaround moment for him on the show, he can just think about that and know that that just never happened for him because of Shwey. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, but you know, Shwey, like I think we all agreed that that was still a good dish, right?

So this comes down to Henry and Katiana. You know, Henry's dish was completely out of whack, which we understood why. And I can sympathize with him, but at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And the short rib was still tough and this is the dish he served us is still sucked. That said, Katiana's eyebrows, I just... That said, Katiana did serve us a pile of curdled mess. Porridge, the tofu. So Tom's like, oh, you know what? Pickle the side. That said, Katyaana did serve us a pile of curdled mess.

Porridge, the tofu. So Tom's like, oh, you know what? Pickle the side, pickle the side. Okay, let's put the pickle to the side. Okay, what? It's normally how pickles are served. You know, chefs, sometimes we come into a time where pickles are served as a main course

and we think, what? Pickles are on the side. So pickle the side. If he had cooked his beef properly, ah, I think I would have actually voted for his dish. I would have voted for it. Well, obviously Katiana's cucumber porridge did not work. Wow, didn't stop you from licking the bulb, Gail.

I'll tell you where it did work. It's way down your throat, third helping Gail. Really, if you didn't like it so much, why'd you freeze it into popsicle form for a quote unquote treat for later? So funny because one time we were trying on bathing suits on an on location shot and I said, Gail, that suit doesn't work. You look like porridge.

And now here we are all these years later with Gail nodding the bathing suit, talking about how porridge didn't work, you look like porridge. And now here we are all these years later with Gail, not in the bathing suit, talking about how porridge didn't work. I mean, you just can't win with this woman. As my dear friend, Ghost Film River said, who are you wearing? And she said a pickle.

So Tom's like, yeah, you know, I mean, it's katiyanas, it didn't taste good at all. And the texture of that was really bad. And if Shway had just thrown out that cucumber porridge, I mean, that would have been great. You know what? If you're going to throw things out, throw out the things we want to be thrown out. For example, why is Padme here? And... Gale's still sitting there?

Why is that, Tom? Finish the sentence, Tom. I'm a ghost, I hear everything. You can't talk behind my back. Cause I have no more back. I'm just around. And Gale's like, also, cactianas was really cucumber flavored and it was not pickle forward.

There is a difference. When I request pickle forward, I mean I want pickle forward. I want to see a marching pickle. This was not pickle forward, I mean I want pickle forward. I want to see a marching pickle. This was not pickle forward. Pickle forward, also the way Gail talks to her food when she wants it to come to life and go to the refrigerator on its own.

Or as Gail's first ever love mate described himself, pickle inverted. first ever love mate described himself pickle inverted. Well, even as a cucumber dish though, I wasn't enjoying it. If you put those two plates in front of you now, still take the short rib with all its flaws. Because I agree. Like at one point, Gell's like, well, she had cucumbers with pickles on top.

But let me tell you, cucumbers are cucumbers, not pickles. Pickles are pickles and cucumbers are not pickles. Had apparently Burlington Coat Factory's not Versace, just look at Gale. So they agree that the shitty short rib was still better than whatever the fuck Katjana served them. So they bring them out and Tom's like, you know, chefs.

Pickles, am I right? We have them at barbecues. We get into them sometimes when we've got tough choices ahead of us. But at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And you can always count on a good ol' crispy pickle. Is it flasic? I don't know. But I can tell you this, a pickle is always classic.

Unfortunately, you guys sucked at them. All of you. Terrible fucking pickles. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I would sooner eat a dog poop covered in chocolate syrup than eat one of your pickles. God damn that was nasty. Okay, I hope that was poetic for you Claire

Oh, it was poetry right my ear. You just said pickle a lot. I basically just left my chair wet Thank you. Thank you for having me everybody Kristen uh Katiana, I'm sorry as great as you've been on this competition You now always have to know that you lost to Henry on something. Please pack your knives and go. Katjana, last week we thought you were gonna be the winner

and this week you served us bullshit. So, thankfully you won't need knives to use soft tofu. Please pack your knives and go anyway. Bye. As a parting gift, we got you this shipping order from Suzerly's next cookbook. Okay. Do in eight years.

Ah. Hopefully it won't take you as long to get the copy of Pickleberry Finn I just sent to your mailing address through snail mail. Goodbye. Tom's like, well, you know,

we'll see you in Leshyn's kitchen and you know, just cook from your heart. Tom's like, well, you know, we'll see you in Leshawn's kitchen and you know, just cook from your heart. She's like, yeah, I did. I used my security blanket. That's literally the most cooked from the heart I could be. My heart is made out of soft tofu. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

I think I deserve a place back in this, okay? If I'm not on this show, who is going to represent a nice little puffy vest, okay? The purge was not broken, but it was clear they didn't like it So I ultimately decided just to stay quiet. I think cooking wise experience wise. I think I deserve a place I cannot believe I lost a Henry. This is just too much Yeah, her exit thing was a little weird like no you don't deserve it You just served a shitty dish like everybody agreed that it was a shitty dish. Sorry, so you don't deserve it Although I still am rooting for you to win.

I think she's gonna go to Last Chance Kitchen, she's gonna win and she's gonna come back and she saw the chance to win this whole thing. I think she'll win and I think she'll come back into the competition because she was too good. She was killing it. Like it was her and Tristan. Oh, sorry Tristan, I just made you go home next week.

Sorry. I was about to say Tristan's gonna go to to say, Tristan's gonna go to the finale. Tristan's gonna go to the finale, but I may have just cursed him. Well, let me see here, because I think that I've written down who we picked to win this whole shebang. It's here somewhere.

Ben, okay, so you picked, for the top three, you picked Shue, Katiana, and Vincenzo. And I picked- That's terrible. I picked Zuber, Katyauna and Vincenzo. And I picked- Terrible. I picked Zuber, Katyauna and Massimo. So I've only got one in and you've got- I think I had one in. I remember I chose Tristan as like my fourth,

but we limited it to three. So I remember Tristan was like borderline for me, but that's a failure on my part that I put Vinny at the end. That's not right. He seemed like a winner. He hadn't said Nomad 5,000 times at that point, you know? I know. I know. So what are you going to do? But anyway, everybody, thank you so much for being with us. Go get

tickets for our Texas shows in May as well as our Vegas show in May over at patreon.com and that's also where you'll find links to our patreon which is where you can watch us on video like we are today and get all of our bonus episodes. We sure love you guys, we'll talk to you next time. Bye! Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alice in King! Our way is the Amber way.

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