Watch What Crappens - #2818 Top Chef S22E7: Pizza Party Behavior

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!Top Chef: Destination Canada, it’s time to improve on pizza. Is that even possible? Probably not, but it’s fun to watch a bunch of James Beard stans m...ake a go of it! To watch this recap on video, listen to our Trailer Trash bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Kat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Watch what happens, watch what happens, guess what happens when there's so much that happens. Well hello, welcome to Watch What Cravins! I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben! Hello, Ronnie! How are you?
Starting point is 00:00:59 Good, welcome to Top Chef Pizza Day everybody! We're very excited to be here. We are gonna be in Texas and Vegas very soon. We're in Austin next week and Dallas next week and then Vegas on May 15th for the mounting hysteria tour. Get your tickets over at patreon.com, Patreon, get the F out of it. Get your tickets over at watchaboutcrappens.com. You'll find links in the calendar there
Starting point is 00:01:22 for all of the cities. Also, that's where you find links to our Patreon, which is where you find this video recap right here. And all of our video recaps and bonus episodes. This week we will be doing a below deck trailer trash where we go over every second of below deck trailer for you. It looks like a good one too. All right.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Well, welcome to the show Ben. How are you feeling about Top Chef this week? Well, it was, I thought it was quite entertaining. Um, I enjoyed, um, well first, okay, I enjoyed that we had a pizza challenge. I also, uh, enjoyed, uh, watching them all struggle to make pizza. And I also was laughing at the quick fire because it's just like, it was so, it was so corporate tie in quick fiery that I just couldn't help but laugh at it. It was just so ridiculous. So yeah, I enjoyed it. What about you? They are ridiculous and they're struggling with finding things to have spot like people to sponsor them. They're like, wow, welcome to the garbage tie quick tie.
Starting point is 00:02:26 Today we're going to cook in 30 minutes the best meal we can make with garbage twist ties for the trash. I know. Here, smell this baked on crud and make a meal out of it. Sponsored by our friends at all, A-L-Ls at all. No, I'm sorry. It was finish. At finish. At finish, you're never truly finished, which is why you're going to make a meal out of stuff you thought you were finished with. Never truly finish. What is this? Sex life at 49? That's what it feels like. Talk about never finishing. That's my life. So yeah, they're like, yeah, here's some Caked on Grease. Make whatever that smells like into a meal. What the fuck did this show become?
Starting point is 00:03:06 You got James Beard references all through this show. Yeah. Um, meanwhile, Vinny is Vin. They gave Vinny shit this week, which I really liked about cooking for, like always talking about how he's cooking a recipe he learned at the nomad. So what does he do? He cooks a recipe he learned from just someone else. His brother, what are your recipes, Vinny? Hot Vinny, you are just a soulless human being at this point.
Starting point is 00:03:32 You are just, you are a walking cardboard at this point, Vinny. But you know, I don't like, hate Vinny. Usually, usually there's a character I hate. I don't hate Vinny. He's not mean or anything. He's just like a soulless learner. You know,
Starting point is 00:03:45 like somebody who just like wants to do really good and they go in there and they learn and he's learned really well and he's learned to copy things really well. But God, you got to find your soul, man, because right now you're just soulless. And then when he makes a mistake, guess what he does? My favorite thing, he whips out the trauma, he whips out his trauma defense and starts crying about a dead guy. No, you don't get to cry about the dead guy when you're on top, not when you're on bottom. Don't use the dead guy as a crutch, Vinny. Yeah. Now you're going to use dead nomad as your crutch? No.
Starting point is 00:04:16 I'm also loving Paola, like more and more I'm loving her. And you know what I also like about her? I feel like in an alternate, like in a parallel reality, alternate reality, I feel like she could be like a cartoon film critic. And I like that about her. Like, can you imagine her like John Leavitt, like John Leavitt. Yeah, I can imagine her like with a little pad and a pencil, like emerging from a movie theater with her with her like glasses on because she always has these glasses on the edge of her nose. And she's talking and she could be talking about a performance that she thought was awful. You know, I mean, like she'd have to have like a New Yorker accent, but like I could just see it, you know?
Starting point is 00:04:50 Yeah. And then the other girl, I forget her name right now. I'll remember when the notes are in front of me, but the one who's, you know, I'm always saying is like cheering for everybody. Like, yeah, we're a team and don't you forget it guys. Lana. Yeah. So she said everything she says is like some kind of Gen Z thing. Like she can't just react in a normal way. If you're like, I'm making a tortilla. She goes, not a tortilla. Or you know what I'm explaining better than that. But every time she says something, it's like not salsa, not the salsa. No, you didn't just say that. It cracks me up, but she's okay. I mean, I'm liking everybody so far, but you're right.
Starting point is 00:05:31 This Greased on Challenge was really a stretch, even for this show. Even for a show that has a chef who has a pity fridge dedicated to pickles from her, their parents, they gave on a- We did get not Pickles. We did get, um, we did get, uh, alternate reality Padma, which I liked. And I'm sorry, I'm not saying alternate reality Kristin. It's not that I don't take Kristin seriously, but this was all reality Padma. The Canada, the Canada host clearly
Starting point is 00:06:00 hates everybody there. And I love that for her. She's, I love a good dour host. And that's just what I needed. And she, they brought it to us with her. She even kind of like has posture where she's like, like when they first show in her, I was like, oh my God, she's got Ronnie posture. Like she's just like, like her whole vibe is like. Yeah, she shows up and I was like,
Starting point is 00:06:21 oh, this is what we've been missing. She just is like, I'm like, but she sort of has like a different vibe of Padma. Her vibe is kind of like, yeah, like I'm after this. I'm probably going to hang out with like some cooler people. So you just cook some food or whatever. I'm probably not going to eat it. And I really liked that. Like a little bit of vocal fry sort of looks like Adina Menzel ish, a little bit, you know, I just liked her. I liked her disgust. It was like cool girl disgust. I was like, I miss this on the show.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Yeah, I miss it too. So here we are. So Top Chef. So let's see. So we're in the stew room in the back after judging and we find out that Katiana went home and they're like, oh my God, we thought she was winning. We thought she was winning. And Henry's saying, oh God, I was really expecting to hear my name. And Bailey's like, yeah, you're pretty used to that, huh? You're saying that all the time. Thanks, Bailey.
Starting point is 00:07:19 You're right. I'm always expecting to hear your name too, but here you are. Old Bailey wouldn't have said that. But guess what? New Bailey's got nuts of steel. She doesn't give a fuck. We're all surprised you're still here, Henry. Okay. Yeah. New Bailey learned some things in Last Chance Kitchen. She's not afraid to say it. We don't know how you lasted this long, Henry. And Henry's like, I've had this wall up for like a really long time in this competition. And then in turn, I wasn't giving anything out either. I count with her. And that wall worked both ways.
Starting point is 00:07:45 I had a wall up. Fuck off with your wall, OK? Fuck off with your wall, Henry. Don't start my walls are up. You're making shitty food, Henry. That's it. It's not because you've got some insecurity. You're doing shitty work, Henry.
Starting point is 00:07:58 I'm sorry. It's time to just tell you. I like you. You seem very nice. But bottom, Henry, no. You're doing bad. Bottom Henry. Stop with the walls. Bottom Henry, no.
Starting point is 00:08:08 No, the walls are not up. It's not your walls, it's you. The walls are just, you're boxed in. Your walls can't cook. Said Vinny is like, Vinny is in full sock puppet face. He's like, and he's like, I embarrassed myself in the person I wanted to impress the most the whole season. And we see a flashback to Danny who won last season and Danny's because Danny worked with Vinny at the Nomad because the
Starting point is 00:08:28 Nomad has a strict policy of only hiring chefs whose last whose names end with NNY. And Danny is like, well, the relative self was probably the rest part was probably you know, exactly what we did the at the Nomad but like a worse version of it. So kind of sucks. I'm gonna tell everyone at the Nomad that Vinny, kind of a failure. Yeah. Basically at the Nomad, this was something that we would cook and then people would eat
Starting point is 00:08:53 and then they would poop out and put on a plate. So it kind of had the flavor of the Nomad, but also the other waste products in a person's body. It was nasty. This was Nomad shit. Okay, this was Nomad shit that you just served us guys. Yeah, it's body. It was nasty. This was Nomad shit. Okay. This was Nomad shit. They just served us, guys. Yeah, it's funny. We used to make this roulette at the Nomad all the time, but one thing we'd
Starting point is 00:09:10 always, we'd call it the, don't give it to Vinnie to make a roulette because he famously would always destroy it. And it's good to see that he's still destroying it. Really terrible. And the pool of hollandaise doesn't, didn't really help. I don't know why he did that on this. Yeah. God, wish we had him back hollandaise didn't really help. I don't know why he did that on this. He doesn't have to put on it. Yeah. God, wish we had him back peeling onions though. He was really good at that. He was a great onion peeler. That's what I want to find out about Vinny that he was like the prep cook or something in that way. He was the coat check. He was the coat check and he's been Cernod de Bergerac-ing the whole season.
Starting point is 00:09:42 And he's been, he's been sir, no, de Berger, acting the whole season. So no mad to someone. So yeah, Tristan's like, uh, can I do a brutal honest with you? And Tristan's always got this look on his face, like, eww, like he's smelling a fart. He's like, can I just do a brutal honest with you? You had a conundrum in your head.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Like I'm going to cook my food, but you're not cooking your food. No, like that's where you worked. Okay? Like I've worked at Chili's. Do I make an awesome blossom every day? No. Do something else. And I love that you told him that. Yeah, it was good. Although I'm sure that's the last thing Vinny wants to hear from the person who's winning over and over and over again. Like, you just, you know, it's not about where you worked, it's about who you are. Although in my case, I can actually cook from, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:28 really well from where I worked, because I know how to cook properly. Vinnie's like, yeah, yeah, I got it and everything. He's like, yeah, flex you. Don't flex other people's accomplishments. Oh, ouch. I felt so stabbed for Vinnie, because poor Vinnie, it's like, being told in that way, I mean,
Starting point is 00:10:43 he could have stopped at like, no, you know, just don't just cook things from where you work. And he's like, you're correct. And then he's like, flex you, don't flex other people's accomplishments. Ouch. Oh, ouch. And yes, good for you Tristan. And also stop adding hollandaise to things. So Vinny is like, yeah, I worked for James Kent for quite some time and he's played a huge influence in my career. And unfortunately, he passed away earlier this year and he basically made me who I am in the last few challenges. And I've been cooking for him, which is probably not what he would want. So naturally I'm doing myself. I'm going to impress him anyways. I'm going to start cooking from me. But first I will cook a recipe that my brother taught me.
Starting point is 00:11:22 I'm going to cook. Now I'm going to cook from a restaurant called Mad No. Okay. It's basically no mad kind of switch around, who cares. I'm going to put the holidays on the bottom from now on. Okay. So yeah, don't bring your trauma into it. You have just been doing bad things. Not for somebody else because you don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Stop with the dead person crutch, but also RIP person that passed away. God bless you. RIP, but also Vinny, next time, maybe you should adopt a child before you come on this show so that way you can miss a child. Yes, this is Top Chef. You can't cry about stuff like this. You have to cry about missing your child.
Starting point is 00:12:00 I was cooking for my child. That's why I've been making everything with Cheerios and applesauce, but no more, no more. One day I'll be able to see that child again if ever I pay child support. I miss you, heroin. I mean, Helen. This is why he's faltering because he does not have a child he can call up and say, when I'm having a tough day, I just like call up my child. And I just remember like the strength that that child gives me.
Starting point is 00:12:30 And I'm like ready for the next day. I'm refueled. He has no one to refuel. Who does he call up? He calls up his brother who's like, oh, what are you gonna do? Make my fucking Reuben pizza. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Okay, so now we go to the quick fire kitchen, which is the same as every other kitchen. It's got that big maple leaf. Also, I'm over the maple leaf entrance. Okay, we got it, you're in Canada. This is so tacky. I feel like you guys are such tourists. You're like, oh, it's Canada, make a maple leaf,
Starting point is 00:12:58 we can walk through. No, just have a door. Canada also has just regular shaped doors. You have fucking leaf vakers. By the way, why am I so evil today? I don't know. But it doesn't matter. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:13:11 It's a good feeling. Also, when are we gonna hit the road? I mean, I love Toronto, but like, I feel like we need to start seeing some other places. Oh, I guess we do go on a road trip for no good reason today. So I guess there's that. So they walk in and there's a bunch of dirty dishes
Starting point is 00:13:26 set up. As soon as I saw the dirty dishes, I was like, okay, this is going to be a corporate thing right now. There's no like, this is going to be a detergent. I'm ready for it. And so they see it and Kristen's like, Oh, good morning. Good morning. Please welcome our for your very special guest today, the host of Top Chef Canada, Eden Greenspan, who hilariously, her name is not Greenspan, it's Green-span. She is just, she's like a Greenspan, but she's in a much fowler mood all the time. She is a Grinchpan, okay?
Starting point is 00:13:59 She is, and it's so funny because like, when you look at her, I don't look at someone and say, this is someone whose last name is Grinch man. I think this is like someone whose name is for sure Eden, like, but it's like Eden, I don't know, Eden Vanderberg or something like that, but not Grinch man. And I think that's probably why she hates people so much because she's like, yeah, I'm like a Grinch man. And like people like, it's like really hard to work work through because people think I have a certain sort of personality.
Starting point is 00:14:26 So I just have to like push through that and like hang out with cool people because my name is like working against me right now. Yeah. And Mott's almost like Eden. She's cool. I mean, I like her a lot. You know, some of the nicest hair in Canada. I love hair.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Yeah. Under one roof. Me and her. Hey, how's it going, green span? I have hair too. Chop me in this, me and her, huh? Hey, how's it going, Greenspan? I'm here too. Chop me in this dick. Am I right? Eww, I don't know this person.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Can we have him removed from the competition, please? Thank you. She's like, this feels familiar, but with grosser Americans here, so. Fun for me. So now we see all these chef dishes, these dirty dishes, and our friends at Finish Ultimate have identified and can clean the 10 toughest stains in America.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Wow. I love talking about food stains in a food show. Excuse me, Chef. Also, we're in Canada, so like, can we stop? Like, this is the most American thing we can do. Go up and show in Canada, all about Canada, be like, well, guess what? Here are the most American stains, huh? Where are your pussy Canadian stains?
Starting point is 00:15:34 What is that a poutine? Oh, is poutine the number one stain? Because in America, the number one stain is pasta sauce. So, we have to use the stains as inspiration for our dishes. So they literally have to come grab a dirty dish with stains cooked onto them, and then they have to, or dried onto them rather, and then they have to sniff it.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Guess what it is and make a dish based on the sniff. Ooh, hi, it's the ghost of Padma Lakshmi. I'm back with someone talking about scratching and sniffing stains. Enough about girls love life. So then Kristen's like, don't lick them now. So also this chef, I'm sorry, Top Chef has too many spin-offs because when I go onto the peacock to watch Top Chef, I keep clicking on the wrong thing. There's Cooking with Kish,
Starting point is 00:16:34 and there's Last Chance Kitchen with Tom, and they all say, Top Chef, Top Chef, Top Chef, just show me the Top Chef. Put the shit back on the internet where it belongs. Okay? I don't need to see 5 million choices. You barely are getting people to watch the top chef. Make me make me make it available to me. That's what I'm saying. Don't confuse me. Yeah, I agree.
Starting point is 00:16:54 It was very hard to find on peacock when I tried last week. So Bailey Bailey spies a plate that has a whole bunch of green stain on it. And so she's like she's drawn to that one because she's hoping it's pesto, you know, because when we're talking about the top 10 stains in America, pesto clearly has to be a top 10 stain in America. Does pesto even stain?
Starting point is 00:17:20 It doesn't. It's like so oily. It like really cleans off nicely. I was, yeah, it feels like oily enough to clean off, but I don't know. So then, Massimo smells his and he's like, I smell tomato, I smell basil, pasta, finally, pasta, yes! And he's very excited. And then Lana, she's like, I might have the pan that made whatever Massimo has on his plate,
Starting point is 00:17:46 not pasta. She has burnt on greasy meat sauce. AC Yeah, that's correct. It is greasy meat sauce. And Caesar, what do you have? Caesar? Caesar? Oh, Caesar holding onto my leg. Hold on one second. Caesar, do you want to tell the group what you have? You want to tell the group what you have? CB He's like, please stop yelling at me. It's like, okay, Caesar, it's okay, you can do it. And he's like, I'll tell you, it's fucking wuss. You've got guacamole, okay?
Starting point is 00:18:13 God damn, fucking, could someone get him out from under the table? He's like, I can't, I can't take the yelling. Actually Caesar has coffee and it's Bailey who has guacamole. Oh, you're right. Stupid Bailey. You're right. I failed that one. And Bailey. Actually, Caesar has coffee and it's Bailey who has guacamole. Oh, you're right. And Bailey, I mean that is a swing and a miss. If you think you're going to be making a pesto dish, it turns out you got guacamole. Oops.
Starting point is 00:18:35 A little bit off. And she's pissed because who wants guacamole, you know, besides Amanda from somewhere else. And Shue got mac and cheese, and Henry got barley and oats or oatmeal, I guess, to be more specific. And then Vinny got eggs, egg yolks. I'm like, Vinny, if you make a hollandaise, I'm going to push you off this show right now. He does.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Doesn't he? You're right, he does. Doesn't he make a Benedict? He does. That's right. He does. He makes a Benedict. He does. Fucking baby. I can't. I didn't even put that together. And then Tristan got yellow rice and Palo got lasagna. And Palo's like, well, it's virtually impossible to do lasagna on a quick fire. I mean, how are you going to rest the dough? I mean, I've got to figure out another way. Oh, I've got an idea. Why don't I just kind of steam a bunch of things and pile them on top of each other in the middle of the plate? Yeah, I think that'll work. Well, why do you have to make the dough fresh? You just have to boil the lasagna, don't you?
Starting point is 00:19:37 Can't you just boil the lasagna noodles and I mean, you don't have to bake it. I kind of think you could do this in an hour. I actually do think you could do this. I think you could boil those lasagna noodles. Yeah, an hour is enough time to boil lasagna. But I like that she's like, it's a quick fire and I have to make my own dough? No, just boil the pasta. But whatever. It's time for a commercial.
Starting point is 00:19:56 It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Some people get a wild haircut or book a spontaneous trip when life throws them a curveball. But Molly? Well, she dove headfirst into a world of no strings attached sex, secret rendezvous, forbidden affairs and unforgettable adventures. And together we tell every juicy detail in Dying for Sex, Wondry's award-winning podcast that's now streaming on a TV near you, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.
Starting point is 00:20:28 And to top it off, we're dropping brand new bonus episodes where I sit down with the cast to spill all the spicy secrets. Desire, friendship, self-discovery, and the ultimate bucket list of pleasure. This is a story that had everyone talking. Listen to the original Dying for Sex and brand new episodes on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the original series before anyone else and completely ad free on Wondry Plus. Everyone has that friend who seems kind of perfect. For Patti, that friend was Desiree. Until one day... I texted her and she was not getting the text. So I went to Instagram, she has no Instagram anymore.
Starting point is 00:21:13 And Facebook, no Facebook anymore. Desiree was gone. And there was one person who knew the answer. I am a spiritual person, a magical person, a witch. A gorgeous Brazilian influencer called Cat Torres, but who was hiding a secret. From Wandery, based on my smash hit podcast from Brazil, comes a new series, Don't Cross Cat, about a search that led me to a mystery in a Texas suburb.
Starting point is 00:21:41 I'm calling to check on the two missing Brazilian girls. Maybe get some undercover crew there. The family are freaking out. They are lost. I'm Chico Felitti. You can listen to Don't Cross Cat on the Wanderer app or wherever you get your podcasts. So then, um, Christian explains I have to make a new dish. And first, we got to get the dirty dishes into the dishwasher to get them cleaned. So they didn't make them use these dishes, right? No, no, it's that we just watched Kristen and Eden like put the dishes in. Eden's like, Ew, gross. I have to touch someone else's dishes.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Thanks. Thanks for letting my guest spot be a fucking do the dishes spot. Oh, by the way, this reminded me, my friend, I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's not important. But my friend was going to have a podcast a couple of years ago with her husband and asked me to write some random song. And so it's called Do Your Dirty Dishes. I've actually got a song.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Do You Remember It? Do Your Dirty Dishes. Yeah. Do you remember it? Yeah. Do you remember how it goes? Yeah. Do your dirty dishes. I'll put it at the end of this podcast so people can hear it. It's all for everyone's decided. Stay tuned guys.
Starting point is 00:22:55 You're going to get to hear in a ridge. It's also the exact quote that Heather Dubrow yells at our staff. Do your dirty dishes. If I have to walk in here again and see another speck on my no-boo dishes, you're all fired. The winner of this gets $10,000. The price of an apple, basically. So start now. So everybody runs around and Paula's like, well, I can't make my own dough. So I guess just go with butternut squash. Fortunately pasta takes five hours to boil.
Starting point is 00:23:32 I don't love this as a choice already. I just, okay. All right, all right, Ronnie, if you were not gonna use pasta, what alternative are you gonna use to make your lasagna layers? Tortillas? Yep. Or I don't know, something, you know, like maybe like a Mexican like casserole type layered thing.
Starting point is 00:23:55 I don't know. Or you do it like a you do like a play on lasagna, like maybe a deconstructed lasagna where you can like make a make like a quick make like a quick pasta of some sort. Oh, you know, it'd be good to slice potatoes really thinly and then layer that with cheese and all that and then make that that would be delicious. Yeah, like I think that would hold it better. And I don't think you don't think you want the sweetness of the butternut squash either.
Starting point is 00:24:20 No butternut squash. No gross. Yeah, so and it's too wet. It's just too wet for for that. It's not it's not for me to starch. Yeah. Okay. So Massimo is gonna be cooking, you know, cooking Italian food and he's like, what is the toughest quick fire? It's when you pick up your kids from school and have 15 minutes to make them food. And I'm jettilling that you know, his wife is like, when did you last pick your kids up from school? I know his wife's like, you literally never did this
Starting point is 00:24:48 and that's why I left your ass. What are you talking about? When the kids had to go to your work, they were living off like cans out of the fucking pantry. Let's stop. So he's like, you know, you don't have enough time to make a dough in 30 minutes and rest it and do all this. So I made a ricotta gnocchi.
Starting point is 00:25:06 So that's smart, I think. Also an easier version of gnocchi. I've never really thought of doing that. Have you ever had a ricotta gnocchi? I don't think so. Maybe at some restaurant somewhere. I do straight up potato gnocchi every time, but this sounds a lot easier.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Actually today I'm making a sweet potato gnocchi because fart, fart, fart. Delicious. I love farting because part of my weekly food prep when I'm trying to lose weight, which is always, is sweet potatoes because you can just throw them in the microwave and they're easy. And so I have those in a plastic bag in the fridge already cooked. And so I just eat those in different versions every day.
Starting point is 00:25:44 And so today I'm going to squeeze all the potato out. I'm going to do a gnocchi with it. Wish me luck. I have not attempted gnocchi since about 2005 or six. Early on in my cooking journey, I decided to attempt gnocchi and I pulled up a Giada De Laurentiis recipe and I followed the instructions and I made my like ropes and I made, I cut them up and I did the fork
Starting point is 00:26:13 thing and everything on it to give them the ridges. And she said, you know, like put them in, you know, you boil them for like two minutes or something like that. It's really short. You probably know better since it sounds like you do them more often than I clearly have, but like you do them for like two minutes or so. And I remember I made them and I was like, two minutes, that's clearly wrong. Cause my experience had only been dried pasta, which just takes like 12 minutes or something like that.
Starting point is 00:26:39 So I boiled those gnocchi for like eight minutes and they came out like just little soppy buttery, sagey pillows of potato. So wait, you mean the actual gnocchi you were boiling for two minutes? Yeah, I like dropped those gnocchi. No, no, no, the gnocchi themselves were supposed to boil for like two minutes because they're not supposed to need a lot of time.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Right, but you made the potatoes before you made the gnocchi. Oh, is that what you're saying? The potatoes were cooked. Potatoes were cooked. I'm saying like once you boil the gnocchi. So you're saying you boiled the actual gnocchi for too long. Once I made the proper dough, which I did, and I put it up, I dropped the gnocchi in there.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Sorry. I dropped the gnocchi into the boiling water. You just wait until they float. No, they floated, but I was like, this is too soon. I was like, something's wrong. And I, I mean, I boy, like I will never forget this, the weird soppy flavor of the, cause I was like, well, I gotta eat them. They were so bad and I'm not been scared, but I just always think about that. And I recently, I was going to climb the gnocchi hill again, but I haven't. But I make gnocchi often. I like gnocchi. I make it. It's like family, a family dinner thing.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Although it takes forever to do for family dinner because it's like each individual little fucking thing. But I learned it from the lady on Food Network with the guy Fieri hair. What's her name? Yeah. Ann Burrell. She's great. Yeah. I love Ann Burrell. So I learned it from her. The trick is a ricer, but the potatoes, put the potatoes through a ricer, then Burrell. She's great. Yeah, I love Ann Burrell. So I learned it from her. The trick is a ricer. I love a ricer. Put the potatoes through a ricer, then chill them. You have to do that part. And then you put the flour and everything. And then yeah, you just boil it till they rise to the top of the water and then you take them out. And you can eat them that way, but I like to do that,
Starting point is 00:28:22 dry them off and then put them through a quick pan fry. Yeah, I feel like you're supposed to do a pan fry. Well, I was like to do that, dry them off, and then put them through a quick pan fry. Yeah, I feel like you're supposed to do a pan fry. Well, I was supposed to do a pan fry, but mine were so gelatinous and waterlogged that was just not an option. I just remember. Yeah. Like it was really the most horrible. The pan fry is a big secret step because a lot of times, like especially when I go to
Starting point is 00:28:40 Italian restaurants that are like, we do a homemade gnocchi. It's very soft. It's just like a mashed potato kind of thing. And I like that. I like it to have a little chew to it. Yeah, no, I like a pan. Well, maybe I'll make a gnocchi soon because this is inspiring to me. Yeah, I'm gonna do it today.
Starting point is 00:28:56 I can't wait. I'm very excited about it. Actually, I wasn't planning on doing that at all until we said it today. I was like, I'm doing that. I'm doing it. Massimo has infected us. Meanwhile, you know what Vinny's going to do today? Tollandays. He says, I'm just going to double down on everything egg. And by everything egg, I mean everything nomad. I'm going to make some breakfasts. Can you guess what I'm making?
Starting point is 00:29:17 And Tristan, I didn't even pick this up. Tristan goes, a hollandaise. I didn't hear him say that. Tristan keeping his foot on Vinny's neck. I love to see it. He goes, a hollandaise. I don't even hear him say that. Tristan keeping his foot on Vinny's neck. I love to see it. He goes, a hollandaise, and he goes, I'm a Benedict. Which is served with a hollandaise, Vinny. You've even got Tristan over here truth telling to you, and you're still just ignoring it.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Lame. This is hilarious. So Bailey meanwhile says, well, I don't wanna make, to just make a guacamole, I want it to feel refined. So I'm gonna make something that has the components of guacamole. So she's gonna make avocado salad.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Avocado and lime and cilantro sounds delicious. I don't know how that's more refined. It's not. Yeah, yeah, it's not. It's just unmashed. Wouldn't mashing make it more refined? I feel like there's, like I think there's gotta be a way to like, you can still make guacamole
Starting point is 00:30:11 and have it part of an overall larger refined dish, you know? I thought she was gonna do like an avocado mousse on something, you know? Or like almost like something that sits amongst like a, like almost like a guacamole style sauce, right? You know? Or yeah, like maybe a nice piece of like salmon with like a green, you know, a little green, you know, you know, you know, I'm talking, you know, I'm doing them make a little gesture of like a sauce cascading down the sides of the salmon.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Nice and green and velvety. So then Caesar got coffee. So he's like, oh my god, coffee. It's nice and roasty. So that makes me think of a dish at a place I used to work. No, man. No, no, please stop yelling at me. We did salmon crudo with coffee oil. So I know that works. Coffee oil.
Starting point is 00:30:59 OK, but you're not pouring coffee over the salmon and then turning it into a cappuccino. Caesar's really going whole hog with, with like, with bitter brown powders this week. Yeah. He really is just, he has that thing that happens sometimes where he does like one out of the box dish really well, and it's a huge success,
Starting point is 00:31:23 and now he wants to do it all the time and like you be careful because wasn't it um last season there was someone crazy every time yeah there's so many i think rossica last season who was like a front runner because she did some out of the box stuff but then she got a date to doing out of the box and then she flew too close to the sun and got herself eliminated when she was actually people thought she was going to win the whole thing so uh ceaser just pull it back. Okay, coffee and cocoa. Let's keep it in our cups. So Lana agrees. She's like, Oh, yeah, I don't see the vision. But, you know, he did a piss pickle custard. And that was one of the best things Tom's ever eaten. So who am I to question him? So Tristan is gonna do a what? Who am I to question him? So Tristan is going to do a what?
Starting point is 00:32:06 Who am I to question him? Just a girl with a pickle fridge and resentment from her parents. So what's Tristan doing? A Jollof rice? How do you pronounce it? Jollof rice. So it's a West African, super iconic West African rice dish. So he's going to make that. And then Shauwai is going to make rice cakes instead of dry pasta because he loves the texture of a rice cake because it's chewy. And then Henry is similarly going to go chewy. He's toasting oats and he's making a rice ball, but with oat flour instead, which is something that he grew up eating and his mom makes it a lot. So he's going to do it.
Starting point is 00:32:49 So he is, um, he's going to fill with sesame and butter and sugar and all sorts of good stuff. Um, and meanwhile, Lana was talking about how she basically hasn't earned any money so far and the prize money would help her with travel. And she says, my boyfriend lives in Sicily. It's literally a world away. He says, quote, anything to get away from the stench of that God forsaken fridge.
Starting point is 00:33:12 You keep dragging around. He says he'll move to America when I get rid of the pickles. No way. Listen, love is love. I love people finding love. That's great. That's great for you. Sicily's too fucking far. I'm sorry. love is love. I love people finding love. That's great. That's great. Yes, Cicely's too fucking far I'm sorry, like what's what's going on? Who's cheating on you because that's too far. It's too far
Starting point is 00:33:32 I think we're skidding. I think this is actually we're setting up Lana to go to the finals You know why because this little bit of like texture in her life that she has this boyfriend who's far away usually you see this if someone's gonna be at the top or the bottom of the episode and she was neither. She wasn't in danger and she didn't excel which was like, well, why are you giving this piece of information now which meant to me it's a building block for building the case for her being someone we root for later on in the season. That's my little...
Starting point is 00:34:05 I don't see that happening. But I don't know. Well, I just cursed her. I just cursed her. I just can't see it happening. I just... It's not that she's bad. It's...
Starting point is 00:34:16 I don't remember anything she's made, do you? Not really. I don't think she's a standout. But you know what? You don't have to be a standout to make it to the finale, right, especially if there's three, because a lot of times you're like, how did that person get here?
Starting point is 00:34:29 I know. But see, I feel bad even saying that about her, because it's not like she sucks. I just, maybe unmemorable. Well, I will say that a lot of the people who I assume were just going to be in the finals have been going home, like Katiana and Zubair, et cetera. She'll be back. Yeah, I et cetera. She'll be back.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Yeah, I hope so. She'll be back 100%. I still believe that. I believe. I still believe. Yeah. And a K-Star. So this is my favorite thing about Top Chef's notes, sentences like this.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Paula struggles with squash. She overblanched her squash and now it's like slimy and she doesn't have time to blanch anymore. I've blanched too hard and I've blanched too long in my life and I can't blanch anymore. It's a great song. So Henry is going to cook Chinese food. He says that he has avoided cooking it for way too long because it's seen as something cheaper, but now he's going to highlight it. And so good for him.
Starting point is 00:35:35 And Caesar is going to do a little cappuccinos out of salmon, which sounds terrifying. So they've got five minutes. Why, Caesar? Why? I love both. Listen, I love both those things and I very frequently will have smoked salmon for breakfast with some coffee on the side, but not in the same bite.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Don't do that together. Caesar. So, um, Bailey is loving her salad. She is like, she's like it's giving guacamole without being guacamole. I'm like, so you made an avocado salad. She made an avocado. Avocado and onion. She put an avocado and like two pieces of lettuce. So Paula's like, this sucks.
Starting point is 00:36:13 This is the weirdest thing I've ever made. And utensils down. It's very barfy. All right, so we start judging. And so, you know, they're serving their stuff. And then Paula brings her stuff up and she's like, well, this was an adventure in joy. And Kristen's like, is this a lasagna?
Starting point is 00:36:31 She was like, ugh, I know, yeah, it's a lasagna. Well, that doesn't sound promising. Motha most serves is gnocchi. Bailey does the salad with the trumpet mushroom, celery and avocado and a very light agave cumin vinaigrette. And then Shwe has made his mac and cheese thing with the rice, the rice, rice, I forget the rice things. And it has so much cheese in it. He's like, so I put bechamel and cheddar
Starting point is 00:37:08 and fontina and H Gruyere. Like, wow, it sounds like Gail's toothpaste. So she's like, um, what kind of cheese would you make with your what kind of cheese would you use with your thing, Eden? And Eden's like, I would use like five cheeses. Yeah, so we're still playing scratch and sniff Gale. Wow. Henry, what did you do with your oatmeal? Well, if he's like Gale, put it in his hair. Oh, he didn't have any. H. Grier. Wow, that was what they said under Gale's yearbook picture.
Starting point is 00:37:48 He's like, well, today I made a glutenous rice ball. Wow, stop talking about Gale, am I right? It's just so easy sometimes. Sorry, continue. Sorry, gluten. Are we talking about Gale's lube on national television? Glutenous rice ball, also known as Gale Senior Superlative. Glutenous rice ball filled with maple butter, toasted oats, and oatmeal broth. Okay, you're losing me at oatmeal broth, but you're winning me with glutenous. The fact that in 2025, that someone is actually trying to sell something as glutenous, I hope you win this whole show.
Starting point is 00:38:23 I'm sorry for every mean thing I said about you in the beginning and I called you terrible. Thank you for trying to bring gluten back to the streets. Okay. We deserve gluten. So Eden is like, so like, how did you make the rice balls? You've got five seconds because I'm already bored. It's like glutenous rice flour. She's like, okay, with the gluten trauma. Okay. Yeah. You don't have to like, you don't have to brag. So he's like, yeah, glutenous rice flour. She's like, okay, with the gluten trauma. Okay. Yeah, you don't have to like, you don't have to brag. And so he's like, yeah, glutenous rice flour, a touch of AP and warm water to get it chewy. I can't, I don't know why when he said a touch of AP, I was like, oh, that's so chefy. Stop it.
Starting point is 00:38:58 It is. But also, also nothing will outdouche this oatmeal broth. Sorry, I have to just say that again. Because what? Stop it. Oatmeal broth. Christian's like, tastes like my childhood breakfast. Finny? He's like, well, I made you eggs benedict, carbonara hollandaise with a poached egg, some arugula hollandaise and an egg yolk vinaigrette made of more hollandaise and then served on
Starting point is 00:39:24 challah, which is really just frozen hollandaise in the shape of a bread slice. As you'll notice, I use this benedict to spell out the word nomad on the plate. So I hope you enjoy. Tristan did his golden rice with clams, peas and some charred shishito and Lana did a meat sauce eggs and purgatory she calls it. Wow, that's like Gail's closet, which I call fashion purgatory, also with sausage. And Cesare introduces his salmon cappuccino with cured salmon celery root that's been pickled with coffee, coffee mustard and coffee crumble. You're going to be driving a salmon cappuccino bus home because this is crazy. They should have changed the rules just to fire you right now because this is, this shit's
Starting point is 00:40:18 crazy. Go back to your, you're under the bed heat lamp, you fucking weirdo. Kristen, this is when I do need you to be more like Padma because she's like, how did you arrive at bringing those two together? No, ask it like this. Why did you do this to us? Ask it like that. Cause he's like, it felt right.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Well, Eden, how did our chefs do with these tough stains? Fantastic. I mean, sort of like lame, but like fantastic. I'm truly, truly impressed with everyone except the people in this room. He's like, okay, great. Well, unfortunately, there were a few, there are a few scenes that may have been tougher than they look. Do you see what I'm doing there? Cause finish, et cetera. Go ahead and be mean to somebody for me, Eden. Eden's like, um, Paula loved the cashew ricotta. Unfortunately,
Starting point is 00:41:06 your lasagna fell apart. It was shit. I hope it dies. I hope you die with it. I hope you choke on it and die. Okay. Who's next? Bailey wanted to get guacamole from your dish, but licking the actual dried guacamole dish was better than whatever the fuck you just served me. Okay, I hope you die as well. I would literally rather choke on the giant ass knot inside of an avocado than eat your wretched salad one more time. Unfortunately it felt more like avocado was the star. Oh, were you looking at Gale's TikTok again? Okay. Um, that was a good salad though. No, Kristen, you just leave it as it sucked. And then, okay. And one more Eden, can you just shit on one more person?
Starting point is 00:41:57 Yes. Caesar. Okay. Um, hello. You're named after a salad. Like, why don't you make a salmon salad? Because instead the coffee and the salmon, it wasn't really a great pairing. Oh yeah, sort of like Gail and any dress she's ever worn. Yeah, exactly. Wow, that went together like Gail and Jorts. It just felt a little bit too rich unlike Gail's fashion sense.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Wow, can you see me? Are you like that little boy in that movie about the census? About the census? Yeah. There's a movie about a boy in the census. It's called the sixth sense. Pat, I'm actually friends with Haley Joel. I thought you said the census, like,
Starting point is 00:42:43 how many people live in your home or whatever. Wow, seems like a very, sounds like the gale of movies, like no one wants to watch it. Ah, poor Haley Joel, he's going through a rough time. So anyway, Kristen's. I think he was, I think he said, he did something, I think, problematic, right? He was drunk and said something wrong.
Starting point is 00:43:01 Yeah, he was like drunk in public and on coke or something, like, coked out in public, allegedly, and went on a tirade calling people the K word. It's not good. No! Yes, like he went crazy. Like anti-my people? Yes. Oh, Haley Joel. He pulled a Mel Gibson.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Oh, wowiley Joel. He pulled a Mel Gibson. Oh wow. Wow. Hailey Joel. Dunzo. Commercials, here comes one right now. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew
Starting point is 00:43:44 was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up.
Starting point is 00:44:15 They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
Starting point is 00:44:37 So Kristen is like, but A plus for creativity though, that salmon, basically that salmon cappuccino was Haley Joel Osment on a bender. Okay, we don't need any more of that. So then Mossimo is one of the tops because Eden loved the beautiful gnocchi dish. Loved that. Dr. Justin Marchegiani I have to say that in like 30 minutes, I'm so impressed with just how much you could annoy me in such a little time. Congratulations. Bravo. They loved that. And Henry's mochi ball was very unique and very nostalgic. Eden's like, God, I haven't had a mochi ball like that since I was never. So,
Starting point is 00:45:22 God, I remember that growing up. Just remember growing up and not eating gluten. But, wow, good try. That was delicious though. Loved it. The mochi ball, that's like really nostalgic. It reminded me of last year when I threw one of them at Dan Levy's face at the Emmys. I was like, get out of my way, four eyes. Love that. I want to eat a mochi ball. I'm going to learn how to make that. I've never made anything like that. That looks actually kind of good. At this point, by the way, I was like, oh, Henry's at the top.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Maybe this wall thing. You know, we talked about his walls were down now. And he's like now cooking the thing that he likes. I was like, OK, maybe he is having a turnaround. Because a lot of times on Top Chef, they're like not happy until you cook from your heritage. And they're like, finally, you're cooking what you know. Yeah. And then Tristan did the baked on rice dish and she loved it. She just loved it.
Starting point is 00:46:14 So Kristen loved the heat, loved how the rice was cooked. And the chef that really wowed us was Henry. Henry, you did it. Your oatmeal broth saved the day. I cannot believe they let something win that had oatmeal broth. He's like, I'm in shock. I'm excited. I needed this. Everything will be smooth sailing going forward. Henry, you just won $10,000 from our friends at Finish Ultimate so you can remove the stain
Starting point is 00:46:41 of all the other terrible food you've cooked for us all season long. Congratulations." So Henry's like, Oh my God, gluten, gluten won me 10 grand party. Can't wait to tell my mom when I get home in the morning. So Kristen's like, Okay, Eden, thanks for being here grouchy pants. Can't wait to see you tomorrow. Okay, please leave.
Starting point is 00:47:00 So, okay, tomorrow we're gonna have our first ever pizza party! Bailey's like, pizza might seem simple, but it is truly an art form. And you'll see when I destroy mine later in this episode. Okay. She's like, not everything can be deconstructed guacamole. Am I right? Yeah, she's correct though.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Pizza is not easy. I went through this time where I water fasted for 43 days. I did not eat anything. I only drank water. Do you remember that? I, yes. Yes, I do. I looked absolutely insane. My eyes were even vacant. Like my eyes were completely... Anyway, it was like some trend. I know it sounds like an eating disorder and I guess it was, thinking back on it. But at the time, I was really into this Reddit that was about fasting. And I had watched a Netflix documentary that was like, oh my God, fasting changes your life and it fixes depression. So it's like, I'm in. So anyway, I lasted 43 days. I mean, you don't get hungry, but man, by the end of this, all I was doing was
Starting point is 00:48:03 watching YouTube food videos because I was like, I'm gonna learn how to cook so much better now. And when I come out of this, I'm gonna really respect food. And one thing I've always wanted to know how to make is pizza. Can I tell you, I never made a damn good pizza.
Starting point is 00:48:18 And I tried 40 pounds later, by the way, cause I gained it all back immediately, still could not make a pizza. That shit is hard, man, it's hard. I agree. I went to a pizza making class actually last year and I feel like I learned. I feel like now I feel like I actually can make a good pizza
Starting point is 00:48:37 and I've been wanting to make a pizza ever since then and I haven't done it. And I'm worried that I'm gonna lose all the lessons that I learned. But it is hard. There's an art to it. There's a difference between a flatbread and a pizza. And that's why we all know.
Starting point is 00:48:47 We all know, well, I mean, we always say, oh, well, even bad pizza is good pizza, which is true. But we all know the difference. We all know the difference. We've been there. So. Yeah, we've been there. I can still just, even I tried again during COVID.
Starting point is 00:48:58 I was like, well, you know, maybe the world said dink. So I'm gonna learn how to make, still couldn't do it. Still cannot fucking do it. I can only make like a really thin, like flat, crispy. I can make that kind, but I don't whatever. I want to make like a chewy glutenous pizza crust. Just can't do it. Well, maybe someday we'll get there. Anyway, everyone, what's a pizza party without a few more friends?
Starting point is 00:49:25 Chefs, please welcome the owner of Stretch Pizza, Gal Simmons. Oh, I thought you meant Stretch Pants. Continue, Kristen. Stretch Drayon, Gal Simmons. Gal. James Beard, award winner and Michelin star chef Wiley Dufresne, and also top chef, all star owner and former innovator in small hats, We the Pizza, Spike Mendelson. So here comes Spike, who looks like he's 40 years older, which was crazy. But it's crazy. When he first came on the show, it was like 15 or 17 years ago. He's very like Vincent D'Onofrio, Criminal Minds or whatever that show is.
Starting point is 00:50:11 He looks kind of like Vince these days. But it was, I guess, good to see him. I don't remember if he was evil. Was he a villain? No, I think we all... I really liked him. I remember it was him and that guy Andrew, I think. That was a great season. He is back and, um, and he says the thing that is now becoming a cliche of alums returning to Top Chef, which is, oh, it's nice to be back, but I'd be lying if I said, I wasn't full of anxiety right now. Wow. Being back in the quick fire chicken kitchen.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Wow. It's really bringing back feeling lots of anxiety. This is like the third person this season that said that, like the joke is over. We get it. We get it. Yeah, it's hard. But I will say Wiley Dufresne, thank you for cutting your hair. I don't know how many years it's been, but I remember Wiley would come on the show and I was like, Oh, congratulations on using liquid nitrogen and like, ox piss for whatever you're doing. But could you please cut your hair, okay? Could you please like abandon the girl who works at the info desk at the student resource center in college, haircut.
Starting point is 00:51:14 Soul style. But- Soul style is like, you have to walk up to him and he's gonna point you in the right direction to someplace. That's just so specific. But true. So I don't know why he's here for this. I mean, I know he has like a famous pizza place and stuff, but Wiley is usually here for like the gastrointestinal challenge or whatever. It's like my stomach hurts. It's like, because you just ate a puppy. You just ate a puppy turned
Starting point is 00:51:42 into a chocolate pudding that looked like a boob. Who made this? Okay, here's what I'm mad about with Stretch Pizza. I've never been. I'm sure it's excellent because it's Wiley Dufresne. But I just first of all, the name Stretch Pizza, I don't love the name Stretch Pizza. And then I looked it up just now and I see the signage of it. And it like real kind of like fast casual signage. And I'm like, this is clearly a fast casual play. I'm assuming that there are, I don't know if there's more than one location. I guess there's only one location, but like you don't make a pizza place and give it this font without hopes that it becomes a fast, like it becomes like franchised. And I'm already mad because it probably will be a franchise
Starting point is 00:52:27 and it'll be very expensive for what it is. I'm just saying that right now. I'm mad that I'm gonna go to a mall someday and go to Stretch Pizza and say, this is very expensive for what it is. Yeah, it looks like they have, oh no, this is from somewhere called PMQ that has caviar pizza.
Starting point is 00:52:43 No, it's not, get that the fuck out of my way. I think the stretch pizza looks pretty damn good. I have to say I Googled it as well. It's got this, this is the crust I like. It looks like a whole hoagie roll around the, like it's huge and you can tell it's just so chewy. I'm into it. Look, I'm looking around, I'm on their order online.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Do their pizzas look absolutely fucking delicious? Yes. Do I want one right now? Yes. Does the Caesar salad look great? Yes. But it's also $19. See, I knew it. Overpriced. I knew it. For a whole pizza? Well, the Caesar salad, a Caesar salad is $19.
Starting point is 00:53:21 And here's the thing. You put that font up, that big, goofy, sans serif, bubbly font up, like, oh, I'm just your fun neighborhood pizza place, but I'm going to charge you $19 for Caesar salad. I know I'll be mad. Yeah. And I am mad. Yeah, me too. Yeah. They're even charging that much lately though, for like acai bowls. Like there's a bowl placed by me and I was like, I'm going to order a bowl. And they were like, that's 19 dollars. It's like an acai bowl with the what's in it. Stem cells.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Send me a fucking acai bowl. Well, yeah. Wait, should you, well, we'll wait to the valley till we address the word acai. Is that not proper? No. Remember last week you said you heard something and people were like, they said I saw he like all weekend long, all weekend long messages. So I also want to say one last thing about Shrush pizza is that one of the pizzas on here, it's a bacon red onion tomato sauce mozzarella pizza and for some reason it's called the DL. And I don't know why it's called the DL. But do they know what DL means in our culture?
Starting point is 00:54:28 Dick on the down low. Do we need to? Do you do we need to have a conversation with this pizza? I'm into a closet and pizza. Bring it now I'll pay $19 for that. Okay, so then we go to intros and they're like, oh wow, and Wiley Dufresne brings on his Wiley charisma where he's like, hi, I'm Wiley, Wiley Dufresne.
Starting point is 00:54:55 I cook things out of stomach acid. So, Kristen, can I say something also? I'll see you later in the episode, but in the previews for this week, they showed Wiley and Spike and everything. And later on when they announced the winner for the challenge, Spike and Wiley clasp hands, but Wiley is also wearing sunglasses because they're outside. And when they showed this moment, they said, they showed this moment of them clasping hands and him in the sunglasses. And in the context of this episode,
Starting point is 00:55:32 it was actually kind of like a, I think they were being jokey, but in the context of the preview, it looked like a very serious moment. And I literally built a narrative in my head where I said, did Wiley Dufresne lose his vision? And was Spike helping him with his hand right now? And I was like, oh my God,
Starting point is 00:55:48 what happened to Wiley Dufresne? And I had this whole vision in my head all week long that Wiley Dufresne had lost his vision, his eyesight. Poor Wiley, geez. I don't think so, because he got a good haircut. He hasn't. No, he hasn't at all. He got a haircut, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Yeah, I think, and that doesn't mean people with that vision don't think so because he got a good haircut. He hasn't. No, he hasn't at all. He got a haircut, yeah. Yeah, I think that doesn't mean people with that vision don't get good haircuts. It just means I think he was like, it's time to get my haircut. He's like, I need a cuter haircut. So then, let's see. So, oh, so Kristin's like, okay. One might be thinking, why pizza in Canada? Well, who here has heard of Hawaiian pizza?
Starting point is 00:56:29 And they're like, oh, gross, Hawaiian pizza's disgusting. But it was made in Canada, so watch your fucking tongues. Yeah, I know, seriously. Otherwise, Eden Greenspan's gonna come back and moan at you. So then we hear everyone talks about who likes pineapple. Some people like it, some people don't. But it turns out it was invented in Canada by a Greek immigrant, which I had no idea about. And then Wiley's like, you know, motivate, but he just gives the
Starting point is 00:56:56 history of it. Like literally no one cares. And so then they talk about it for a very long time, because guess what? This is gonna be a Hawaiian pizza challenge. No, it's not. They just talk about it for a long time. They really do. I went down the same road you did. I was like, everyone has to make Hawaiian. Wasn't it enough that they all had to make pickles last week? Come on. But no, that's just something that was conceptualized here. And then someone else, Chef Kero Oshada, started experimenting with sushi and he made a sushi pizza. So we see a picture of an actual rice, not rice flour, but like an actual rice crust with sushi on top of it.
Starting point is 00:57:34 So it's a creative pizza challenge. Ooh, test the limits. Yeah, I think this is their way of trying to explain why they were doing a pizza challenge in Canada. Because they're like, yeah, the audience will be very confused about why we're doing this. So they have to make a really innovative pizza, essentially. And it's going to have to be... Spike says it's something that sparks a conversation, a debate and tastes delicious.
Starting point is 00:58:02 Like God, because when I eat pizza, you know what I love? A pizza that's going to spark conversation. If I don't debate over my pizza, I'm out. Yeah. So that's, they're going to have to cook for like a whole, like a shit ton of people, 70 people. And, um, they're going to cook there. It's all going to take place at Niagara on the lakes ravine vineyard. So that's what they're going to do. And by the way, we're sending you to Niagara falls. So don't get too wet for this challenge that has nothing to do with Niagara falls.
Starting point is 00:58:33 How did they not come up with like a waterfall inspired something or other? Like how do they not make a Niagara falls based challenge? Well, I don't know. Um, but they do. And I guess it makes sense because Niagara Falls is wet and Pineapple Pizza is also wet. So I don't know. So then Vinnie's like, oh my God, we got to cook for Wiley? Fuck me. Does he even like Nomad? So they all go to Whole Foods. They've got 250 bucks and we see them run around getting stuff. But the big issue is they get to the kitchen and what we see Henry checking out and he's like, do I have enough money? Am I going to make it? You got the flower, right? But he left one of his
Starting point is 00:59:13 bags of flour on the bottom of the cart. Don, don, don. Dude, just look at what's in your cart. Just look at what's in there and say, what else here do I need? He takes out like a basil plant. He's like, don't need the basil plant. And I just assume everything else here is basil. Look at the cart. Just look at it. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So Mossimo is doing a standard pizza, I guess. He's right. He's doing something kind of standard. Well, he's like, he's like, for my pizza, I'm going to put clams and mussels on it.
Starting point is 00:59:45 I'm like, ooh, a clam pizza. Really reinventing pizza there. Oh, I forgot that he did that. For some reason, I thought he just did kind of like a margarita standard type thing. No, he put like clams and mussels. I mean, he was doing like a, he later on says it's like a chowder without like the chowder part,
Starting point is 01:00:03 but I'm like, I think clam pizzas are kind of like pretty iconic. It's like the best pizza. A lot of times what's considered the best pizza in America is a clam pizza out of New Haven. So I'm like, really? I've never heard of that. But that's interesting that it is because then the judges later were like, Ooh, fish and cheese.
Starting point is 01:00:21 What? And they have a debate over that. But if that's a famous pizza, shouldn't they know that? I know, I was confused. I'm like, it's a really famous pizza in New Haven, like a really famous one. So it is shocking that they're confused about, that they're like, wow, cheese and seafood on a pizza,
Starting point is 01:00:40 who would have thought? And I actually hadn't heard, I'm sure they have mentioned this on Top Chef before, but I remember it being a big deal on Food Network on some competition show. Someone was like, cheese and fish, disgusting. This is automatically a loser. Everybody knows not to put cheese with fish.
Starting point is 01:00:56 And they were like, yeah, cheese and fish. And I was like, have you people never had to tune them out? Like, when did this become such a big thing? That's what I always say. Yeah. It's just so weird to me that they act like it's just so crazy. I mean, there's lots of things.
Starting point is 01:01:07 Clams dip. Cheese and fish. Yeah. I feel like that's like an outdated idea. I think that fish and cheese not only can work well together, I think they do work well together. I'm gonna put it right there.
Starting point is 01:01:18 I think it just like somehow we got this idea that we can't do it, but we a hundred percent can and I'm all for it. Hey everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Squirrels fly when the moon starts shining. Diamonds in the street But there's certain weather mining Flip on the boobie
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