Watch What Crappens - #2825 Summer House 0912 Part Two: Lex Appeal

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

This is part twoLexie is not taking Jesse’s BS on Summer House, which means this 5 week relationship may be done and dusted.  Meanwhile, Kyle suddenly wants a baby, and Carl has a very courageous admission. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our White Lotus Recaps, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  Tickets for our North American tour on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Kat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Crosspart recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that we always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. Let's get right back into the episode. So then Lindsay is on the microphone and they should let Amanda do this every time because Amanda really does do it the best where she's like, I don't care where you go, but you can't stay here.

Every time the saddest end to a party. Okay, me and my unborn child because I am pregnant. I am pregnant. Just wanna say I'm pregnant. My unborn child, we need to eat some food and we need to go to bed, so you gotta go and get the hell out of here. Yeah, I was like, get out.

So now everybody leaves and Carl's like, oh, hey, the question is, are we gonna go for a second annual snooze house tour? She's like, oh my God, it's gonna be epic, epic. Save the date. Okay, like, no my God, it's gonna be epic. Epic, save the date. Okay, like, no, next year, like I need a swinging bed and then like a headstone for every time that I die. Yeah, I hope you can be there, but I guess caesara, caesara.

Wow, I just did it to you too. Oh my God, oh, another beautiful woman, Olympia Dukakis-ing me, oh. So now Tom and Kyle are in the kitchen and Tom's like he's like dude. Thanks again for having me I feel like a whole human for the first time in a few years and the shape of my human shape. He's a boy. Oh So Yeah He's a boy. So, a boy.

Yeah, I look good. You look good. Yeah, you look really good. I do, I feel good. He goes, yeah, you went to the gym, you made your bed. He goes, I did, I made my bed. You didn't make your bed, you slept on the floor in your suitcase. You never even got in the bed.

Yeah. Oh, you gotta get your first win of the day. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna start saying that. My first win of the day will be getting Amanda to stop yelling at me at 7 a.m. Oh. So then, Tom, he's like, well, I'm very fulfilled,

but there's a void in my life, and that's not having kids. Like, when does Thomas Schwartz have a kid void in his life? You are a kid, you are, and a void at the same time. They never want kids until the woman they didn't want kids with says, they don't want kids with them anymore. And then they're like, oh, but I wanted a kid. It's always the victim.

Tom does it, Kyle does it a little bit later. It's just, I don't know, it's like history, it's nature. It's nature, I guess. And Kyle's like, yeah, dude, in my thirties, I would look at guys like in their forties, like without kids. And I go, you selfish fuck. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Really? I would always look at people in their forties without kids and say, God, you must have a lot of money. I say, wow, you must really, you must, you must really enjoy going to brunch. You get

to do that. I'm like, wow, you must be really strong against pollution. You must have everything figured out. So then Kyle is like, wow, that guy can avoid putting another carbon footprint on the world. I can maybe avoid reusable plastic bags for a week. I mean, look, I'm 42, a couple months older than you. Oh, don't say that. I'm a little boy. I'm 4.2 years old. Yeah, well, I never would have thought I

wouldn't have kids by now, you know? Yeah, I want a family. Yeah, because we're going to be great dads. No, let's rewind that part. No, let's rewind that part. No, no. I'm sorry. I actually kind of like you both, but probably not. And so Tom's like, boy, by the time they're 20, we're going to be like 62. Hey, I'm going to buy you a drink. Yeah, we're going to snore.

We're going to pass out in the lazy boy. You already do that. You both already do that. You're already there. So now it's 1138 PM and Paige is talking to her cat Daphne through her home camera. She's like, Hi, hey Daphne. Hi, hi. Do you want to hear something? Oh my God.

Um, Jesse said this one thing and then Sierra was like, go fuck yourself. It was hilarious. I am like, dad, dad Daphne. And Daphne is like, meow, then too, meow. So then there's late night McDonald's in the kitchen and luckily calls her sister from the floor of her bedroom and Tiffany's like, oh my God, what happened? Why haven't you called me yet? I've been sitting here with a full face

and make up a crazy hair. Yeah. Yeah. I just, Taro just posted a new pic on IG and let me tell you something, my mood board has been updated. So, um, he's like, um, so basically today there's like, um, like just been saying this and like he's been saying like all these like yellow flags about you and like basically

talking shit about me behind my back and I'm like so fucking pissed because he like told me like he's like in love with me. Oh my god babe I'm so sorry he's shit right mom? Yeah we're in bed right now right mom? Yes honey shit honey. Right dad? Yeah honey shit. God we're all here we brought home a doorman from the bar. We all missed you we all missed you. Yeah we're all just sitting here in bed watching the old pilot for She's the Sheriff with Suzanne Summers. Anyway, tell us more. Don't forget when in doubt, line your lips, line your lips, line your lips. We had a terrible night. We went line dancing, which we thought was when you dance when you put liner on your lips. Turns out it's a whole different thing. We were very disappointed.

Our lips are really thick right now though. It got messy. Mom unfortunately wasn't able to dance and put that lip liner on at the same time. So it looks kind of like you're watching an air traffic map on her cheeks. Yeah, mom is wearing an eyepatch now, but it was worth it, right mom? Yeah, honey, it was worth it. So Gabby comes in and she's crying. And she's like, Oh my god, is this over? Jesse? Oh my god. Lexi, we need to like slap him around a little bit. And I'm more than happy to do it. Listen, are any of the girls in there? So they're trying to find other

girls. And Lexi's like, I mean, it's just things that do shitty situation because like, he's been painting me like it's one thing, but like, it's not like true. And it like sucks. Cause like now everybody's like more hesitant to like support me and be my friend because he made me look psycho. So you weren't really trying to be everybody's friends though. Anyway, you were, you know, I think you did that thing where you just picked someone at the beginning and you're like, we're a couple.

Now we just do a couple things. This is like the first episode that we've really seen her kind of, I really truly engage with the other people in the house. Like all of a sudden, like Lindsay's in there giving her a hug. I mean like Lexi, are you okay? Like people are checking in on her. People are having chit chat with her. They're getting the deets. But at the same time, I also do feel like, like not only has she, we have not seen, at least based on the editing,

that she has really forged like too many connections beyond like a conversation at Kickball. But at the same time, I also feel like they really didn't have any interest in her until they found out, wait, she has like drama going on with like Jessie, let's talk to her. You know, wait a second. We're gonna bring her into the fold. So then everybody gets ready for bed and West is like, Hey guys,

we're gonna watch Zootopia outside. I like we're just cute. We're cute bros. So how why Zootopia? You were just talking about elf porn yesterday. Like, just stop. So now Tom, Jesse, and I share the trip lines. And he's like, are you guys good? What's going on?

We're gonna watch Zootopia. We're little boys. And she's like, oh my God, enjoy that. So Jesse, Jesse's like, dude, that was so bad. She didn't even try to watch Zootopia with me. So, Paige, Paige and Sierra are, Paige is in bed, Sierra's in the bathroom and Paige asks what she's watching and Sierra's like, earwax extractions. It's nice, like, it's a nice juxtaposition with the Zootopia, I guess. And now all the guys, they've all cuddled up on each other on the trampoline to watch Zootopia. I don't even know how they're watching Zootopia.

They're watching it on the laptop. Oh, I didn't see the laptop. I thought there was like a screen that they erected. No, West brought out his laptop and I'm like, don't touch his laptop. Please, whatever you do. That is an infested laptop. You know, there's shit all over that. Don't touch it. So they're like laughing. And then some of the boys go to bed, but West stays outside, but it rains on his head. So he eventually has to go inside and Tom's like, wow. He's talking to himself singing. He's like, I love it here,

but I'm ready to go home. But I love the Amptons. I get it. It's just so like bougie and fabulous, but it's time to go home. I have business to attend to. I miss my dogs. Is anybody here?

Anybody? I'm so alone. What business is he attending to? He's never attended a business in the first place. So then Kyle is waking up next to Amanda and he's wearing the sloth mask and he's like, I feel gross. And then Lindsay brings Tom a coffee and it's nice. And then Lexi is in her room and she's packing and she's emotionally exhausted from hearing so many of her favorite songs last night, just one after the other. It just takes a lot out of

you. She's like, I'm so manipulated. So then now it's 1102 and everybody's packing, getting ready to go. And it's breakfast time. So then Jesse comes to, oh no, Tom goes to Paige and Sierra's room to say bye. And he's like, well, I just wanted to say thanks for letting me in your happy little world. You know, you gotta cherish this. I used to have a happy family in LA,

now we all hate each other, so. Oh, the sad state of a reality TV has been so, uh, Pages like, well, we're gonna love each other no matter what. And if we don't love each other, then it doesn't matter because I'm, I have my bed. I just hope you don't have to stand up all a scandal. She's like, well, as long as Amanda doesn't cheat on Kyle, I think we can get through anything. You know? And honestly, he does. They'll still be okay, because they'll be hilarious.

Let's be honest. Yeah. So then in the kitchen, tension is, tension is mounting. So Lindsay, Jesse's there, his frown, he's got glasses on, which means he's really sad. He's got his glasses and his cap, his cap of sadness and his frown is really just like frowning and he's looking for a sheet pan and Amanda's like, wow, Jesse, you're just such a lost soul right now. I feel like I did such good work spreading that gossip and just drawing a relationship.

I'm so proud of myself. And Lexi is doing that thing where she just comes to stand really close to Jesse, but then just like flicks through her phone and won't look at him. He's like, how are you, Lexi is doing that thing where she just comes to stand really close to Jesse, but then just like flicks through her phone and won't look at him. He's like, huh, how are you? Look, he's like, um, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, like, like, like, like, like, he's like, Oh no, I'm in trouble. He's like, Lexi do you have some kind of special order that will make you happier than like bacon and eggs? He's um, uh, here's my order. Stop talking about me.

Stop talking shit about me. That's my special order. Ding! Order's up! Order's up! And I love that like Amanda is like, oh my God, this is too tense, but it's also so great. I have to immediately go gossip. And she runs out of there and she runs upstairs and Schwartz is still talking to Paige and Sierra and then she just like goes right by him and gets into the bed. It's almost like, yeah, Schwartz, I know you're trying to have a scene with us, but we have like serious gossip that we have to attend to right bed. It's almost like, yeah, Schwartz, I know you're trying to have a scene with us, but we have serious gossip that we have to attend to right now.

There's a fight happening downstairs. And Lindsay loves it. She's laughing. She's like, I'm like eggs on the side of you to stop talking shit. She goes, yeah, that would be nice. And he goes, oh, I still don't feel like I was talking shit though.

Oh God. So she says, okay, fine. Then we should all sit down together the whole house and have a house meeting about it. She's like, what good for her. She's like, let's see what everybody thinks because you're telling somebody you're telling everybody a different thing. So let's see what they think. And he's like, well, that feels a little extra, but okay. She says, no, because it's like, I'm the one that's getting hurt. You know, my sister's getting hurt. My mom's getting hurt. My dad's getting hurt. And the doorman from that bar is getting hurt

Do you know that my mom woke up with lip liner all over her face and an eye patch? Oh So then uh Tom look you guys look so cozy I don't want to rub it in but you guys really missed out last night on our cuddle party. We watched utopia Pitches wait what you disgusting get out of this room right now really missed out last night on our cuddle party. We watched Zootopia. And Paige goes, wait, what? Ew, disgusting, get out of this room right now. It's a joke. Yeah, disgusting. So they're now talking about the Lexi stuff

going on downstairs. And Tom's like, oh yeah, Jesse came last night. He was just so defeated. I've never seen anybody watch Zootopia and stay sad. Well, he should be defeated. Oh no, but I think he's like, I think it's over. I think Amanda's like, I feel really bad. I'm like, stop smiling from ear to ear right now. Yeah. This is the most effective bit of, of, of,

of telephone that she's ever done. Like she's never been this potent with her gossip and she is just thrilled. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting

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You can binge the original series before anyone else and completely ad free on Wondry Plus. So now everyone's gathering around the little island for breakfast therapy. So Lindsay's like, I think you guys have a lot of love for each other. I really do. But I think Lexi's point was that you just shared your concerns with everybody but her

and it made her feel like a fool. It's like she doesn't believe in brick and mortar, so get over it. But I think Lexi's point was that you just shared your concerns with everybody but her and it made her feel like a fool. It's like she doesn't believe in brick and mortar. So get over it. Yeah. Gabby's like, yeah, her whole point is that the yellow flags that you were talking about are not really that real when she's being considerate and doing these things, even vocalizing them to you.

And he's like, yeah, whatever. Gabby's like, okay, don't like shut down and be like, mm-hmm, I've been on the show longer than you, okay? I love Gabby like it's any of her business. She's like, I'm gonna fight with your boyfriend for you. Not my first time. And then she's mad that the boyfriend

won't fight back with her. She's like, hello. She's like, I'm trying to have a scene, okay? Just trying to stay on this TV show. Yeah, she's like, do you care about our relationship? She's like, I'm listening. I'm understanding. I'm just, I'm not going to continue fighting over it. And Gabby's like, we're not fighting you though. This is not an argument. No one is yelling. I'm just telling you something very obvious. And so Lex is like, yeah, everything's an argument. obvious. And so like, yeah, he thinks everything's an argument.

Um, Jesse, all you need to say are like words of affirmation. Just say, I understand. No brick and mortar. Okay. And he's like, okay, I understand. And she's yeah, but he doesn't. That's why me, my mom and my sister don't want to date him anymore. And Gabby's like, um, I don't think that you do either, to be fair. I don't think you get it. I don't think you get it I don't think you get it And if you want your relationship with me to go any further you will understand right now and say say you understand and mean it He's like, um, I don't think I'm dating you. Oh, well, isn't that a great story? We are in group therapy, okay So then what everyone's sort of like started to arrive in and Wes asking what's going on and Lex is like, um, he's like talking shit about all

this stuff behind my back. And it's like made everyone's house like that. I'm like crazy. And then he says the opposite. And then now I can't trust anyone else. And like everyone's been like fucking everything's been like that fucking disturbing. And he's like getting mad at me. And like last weekend, like apparently flirting with you in the club. And that was this was good. I'm glad she let this one out and let everybody know that he accused her of flirting with West. And Jessica says, that's not true. Yes, it is true.

You fucking compulsive liar. We all saw it. And she's like, yes, it is. And he says, well, I was just trying to say that my behavior the weekend you were gone, besides the toe sucking. What the fuck you talking about besides the toe sucking? What does that mean? No, we're not gonna put the toe sucking. What the fuck you talking about besides the toe sucking? What does that mean?

No, we're not gonna put the toe sucking aside. And he goes, but anyway, the other behavior clearly out of line, but it was not as flirtatious as you were being with, for example, West. And West is like, oh God. He's like, even I can't stand up for you. Come on, man, I'm trying to be on your side here. First of all, you can't excise the toe sucking. That's not just a thing. That's just not that's

that's like you can't just take that out. But second of all, even if there was a flirtatious vibe between Lexi and West in that moment in the club, Jesse's actions with Sierra were an entire weekend's worth. It was not not just an isolated moment. It wasn't just a dance. It was in the pool. It was here and there was everything. It was it was a whole weekend's worth. It was not just an isolated moment. It wasn't just a dance. It was in the pool. It was here and there. It was everything. It was a whole weekend's worth of flirtation. And so it just doesn't even compare. And on top of that, the fact that he is still framing it like not only was what I did not as bad as what you did, he's still saying it's not as bad as when you were flirting with West. And it's like, you keep on saying that she's flirting with West and she wasn't flirting with West.

Yeah. He's making stuff up that he can be mad at so she can't be mad at him. So stupid. It's so obvious too. And he's getting caught and he just won't admit it. He just keeps lying, you know? So just West is like, yeah, that didn't happen. Like clearly our friendship is platonic, you know? And so Jessie's like, look, I mean, I trust you and I trust West and that's just how I was trying to say, that's just not how I was trying to say it. You're making it sound different. No, she's actually making it sound better than you did.

And so Lexi's like, yeah, and everybody's asking me why we're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet. And maybe it's because we don't know each other well enough. And it's like, no, it's because you have fat ass red flags and Amanda's like oh my god she said red flags it's supposed to be yellow flags this is bad so Wes is like but you are still exclusive though she's like no I don't even want to be exclusive take the exclusive and shove it out the fucking window I'm done

The cows like look it's Sunday. Like you guys have had tough convos Why you guys need to have a chat? Yeah, maybe like yeah She's like no like every single person in the house needs to be involved because he's talking shit to everyone and he goes Oh, let's pipe down a little okay. Wow. Oh, excuse me. Go drown in the pool Mr. Sobbing crying and screaming at least a quarter of the episodes every year. You don't get to tell people to pipe down. Go pee to fucking Andrea Bocelli, okay? Yeah, absolutely. He does not get to tell someone to pipe down,

especially if they're a newbie and they're having like a genuine moment. And like, this is part of like, this is like, they're on a show, like she's having, it's like a non-manufactured fight right now. And I love that Gab is like, no one's I love that Gabby's like, no one's yelling. No one even needs to pipe down because no one's even yelling. And the fact that Gabby's had to say that like five times to people is also kind of hilarious. Kyle's like, no, I'm just saying,

like, let's clean up, whatever. So Kyle's like, yeah, I get it. I mean, that's how this can be. We've all felt this way at some point, especially for those of us who've ever had to talk to Lindsay Hubbard. Oh, I'm traumatized. Oh my God. This breakfast was a lot for me. Guys, I just want to say I'm really proud of myself for coming to breakfast. This was like the first time I ate a piece of white bread since Lindsay tortured me. So I'm on the, I'm on the mat on the mat. Thanks for telling them to pipe down. It was getting a little bit too dense for me. I was getting scared. I was almost going to run upstairs to my bedroom and just sort of have a walk. So that's what West and Jesse have done.

They kind of run to a bedroom where Jesse is just all defeated. He's like, I mean, clearly all these flags I was seeing was for a reason. Like, I mean, I guess we're just not each other's person. No, you're a fucking compulsive liar and gaslighter, dude. Like, what are you missing here? How can everybody tell you,

how can the entire house tell you one thing and you're still gonna make it sound like Lexi's just some crazy biatch that's making shit up? It's you. Yeah, and of course he did. The calls coming from inside the teeth. Mm-hmm. He did the thing that we predicted he would do,

which is to say that there were flags, which there weren't. And then when she finally gets annoyed with his behavior, he blames it on her flags that he manufactured. Yes. So he's like, yeah, I mean, she legitimately thinks I've tried to create a wedge between us and the house. I mean, it's just not true. Well, what do you call going to every single person to hit that she's fucking insane and stalking you and then telling her something completely different. What would you call it? Mm hmm.

And honestly, you're allowed obviously to talk. I'm like, obviously you're obviously allowed to obviously do this. You're like obviously obviously. You're allowed to talk to your friends and say, yeah, it's going great. I have some concerns about X, Y, and Z. But I think that as a whole about how he's handled this relationship, it's just been really shady because he's made, again, he made her seem like, oh,

she's the one with all these weird jealousy issues when he's been the one who's been aggressive about that. And he also, I think if he had taken accountability for his behavior that one weekend, I think he could have survived this, but he really hasn't. And now it's just too much. It's over. Yeah.

So he's like, you know, I mean, if she wanted to make it work, I'd like to be open to it. But it's just like becoming more of a negative stressor, you know? And but he's obviously depressed. I think he's more embarrassed that he got called out in front of everybody. So Wes goes, yeah, good old breakup after five weeks, huh? Like, hello, it's been five minutes. So then it's time to go. So everybody leaves. And then Tom is left there all alone on the doorstep. They're like, hey, you want to ride, bro? And he's like, no, my guy's coming in a minute.

I just wanted to make sure that there was one close. I got the Uber that will that I was pretty sure was going to tell me I'm going to be a good father one day. Guys. He just left on the stoop. It was kicking his feet in the air. It's like the I was like, you know, I know they should have given them a little balloon to hold. So guess what? It's time to go to New York City. It's Monday. It's 1120 AM and Lindsay and Danielle are at Lindsay's OB appointment. So Danielle is here and she's

like, Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening. We are in such different plant positions than we were a year ago. I mean, you're pregnant and I'm still the CEO and founder of a soon to be very successful app. I'm sure we'll success is just around the riverbend. So they look at the baby and they get the sonogram, you can see the little baby and the baby kicks. And Danielle's like, oh, I'm like, like, she's gonna like tear the fuck out of Lindsay, right?

Like it's gonna hurt, right? Like, what are you gonna do about that, Lindsay? Lindsay, the baby's gonna hurt, it's gonna tear you. Lindsay's like, oh, well. And the nurse is like, well, you put your fingers in with some lube and then you rub. And Lindsay's like, um, so like, I'm going to be jerking off. I'm going to be like a finger banging.

That was like a storyline. That's hilarious. And we got flashbacks of like, finger bang. We finger banging in kiss. Finger bang, oh, there's a finger bang. Finger bang, finger bang, finger bang, finger bang. Finger bang, finger bang. Even back then there were hints

that Carl's dick didn't work right. Even back then we didn't pay attention. She's a soft finger. So, um, yeah. So they do that. Soft. That was a pool. That was a pool noodle. Well, I pulled the noodle bank too, to be specific. You know, when we talk about gaslighting, I'll tell you the biggest gaslighter is it's it's OB's with those ultrasounds because every single time like, well, now look here, there's

the eyes and there's the cheeks. Oh, look, you say it's wearing a little fedora and oh, my goodness, it is doing it is doing some dancing from West Side Story. Isn't that I'm like, I see nothing. Your baby has a calculator and a tutu. Very smart ballerina. One head we call her. I'm like, this is a blob. I see nothing. How are you telling me there's an eye and a face there? And everyone's like, oh my God, I see it.

It's so cute. I'm like, I see nothing. Sometimes I can see a little hand. That's it. We'd be terrible doctors. We're just doing like the Warshack test. Like umbrella, rain, boat. It's a teddy bear.

It's when loser, it's when loser draw and Vicky, we just like, okay, we're going to bring in Vicky Lawrence right now. And we're going to try to figure out what this sonogram says. Uh, I, I'm a Vicky Govelson here to deliver your baby. Let me, let me, uh, let me spread you open. Look at that. Okay. Baby. Hi, Vicky Gov. Get a job. Get a face that looks clearer. Okay. And now Jesse and Lexi meet up and it's 113. So we know it's very

dramatic. So we go to her house. We're in her apartment and Tiffany's like hiding under the couch. She's like, I got you girl. I got you. Honey, the mom you just see a little glittery iPad from behind a ficus. Jessie's like, how are you? She's like, she's good for you. He's like, definitely been better. It's kind of weird sitting here

while your sister is trying to put lip liner on my lips. I'm just trying to have this conversation. Can you wait for a second? Thanks. And like, you know, it just really shocked me. Like how angry you were with me, you know? Like I just didn't like that you were making me out Wait for a second. Thanks. You know, it just really shocked me. Like how angry you were with me, you know, like I just didn't like that you were making me out to be like a monster.

She has in what way? Well, like I was like trying to make you look jealous and crazy. And like I was being strategic and manipulative. I don't like that you made me look like that. You made you look like that. Okay. She just had the nerve to talk to other people about what she were doing and put the dots together.

What do you call it? Strung the dots together. Connect the dots. You connected the dots, sir, okay? Which currently your mother is still unable to do under the couch. She's like, ah! She's had a little bit of vertigo since headline dancing. It was a lot for her.

So Jesse's like, yeah, I just don't know if you're gonna be able to trust me and I'm not gonna defend my behavior. Like, I know that I shouldn't have let anybody suck my toe. Like, that was messed up. So I'm like, sorry. And I should have gone about things differently.

And I didn't realize it was gonna be this messed up. And I didn't mean it. And like, I don't know. I just don't wanna stop seeing each other based off of someone sucking my toe in a threesome that I participated in for 37 minutes. He's doing that thing where he's like, okay, well, you know, I don't want to break up with you,

but if you're going to keep on about all this nonsense, I mean, I guess we're going to, you know, that's kind of how he's coming in instead of with like an honest sorry. So she goes, normally in relationships, I'm not like really a fighter. You know what I mean? So like, I just like, I'm like, bye, you're dead to me. So like, maybe we're just like, not compatible. And he's like, Oh, oh, well, but like, clearly, we have like a

great connection. Like, I mean, like, is this something I can change? Like, now he's gonna change his tune, because she's not fun for this shit, you know? And she's like, yeah, I think it's just a choice that we have to make and is it worth trying or is it not? And that's kind of like a cliffhanger with them. We don't really see where they land with that.

Just dump him. Just break up with him. No, it's not. I mean, if he's already acting like this, just break up with him. Then you get to watch him be awkward and sulky for the next two weeks in the house. That'll be fine. And then he'll try and wake you back if he wants to,

but have some self respect, get rid of him. I want her to date like a really hot, like athlete or celebrity and then just bring them to the summer house every week next, the next summer and just make them feel super awkward about it. Who is the one who brought Madonna's ex boyfriend or the guy who wound up dating Madonna afterwards? Was that Danielle? Did Danielle bring that guy? Doesn't matter. Remember what I'm talking? Oh no. Yes, I do. It was that blonde girl, that blonde girl. Yeah, I don't remember. I mean, I remember that happening,

but I don't remember who did it. Part of me was like, was it Hannah? It wasn't Hannah. No, it was the, it was the blonde girl who, who she was dating Cory. Oh yeah, oh God, yeah. Sam, Sam, Sam, stop trying to make me look crazy, Cory. It was like almost an identical storyline. So now it's Thursday and Kyle and Amanda are on a lunch date. Let's see how Kyle can learn,

let's see how Kyle can cry in this scene. Every time Kyle goes on a lunch date with Amanda, I'm like, Oh my God, Kyle, Kyle's probably going to cry. And I can't wait to see it. They were on top of the refinery hotel, by the way, I noticed. So they're on a lunch date and Kyle's like, well, it's been a while. And I can see why she was confused about the barata. Cause I was confused there too. I was like, uh, whatever it was. You know what I love in all the years of Bravo ordering, they never really critique the food that they get. The food just arrives and they just keep on talking. But this is like Amanda

ordered like a bruschetta bruschetta and that had like a burrata. She's like, Oh, this is it. I thought the tomatoes, I thought there'd be tomatoes and that's barata. What is this place? Yeah. She's like, yeah, I guess maybe it was my fault for reading the menu wrong. Whatever. It's free. Uh, so Kyle's like, Oh yeah, I had some blood. We're done. Um, but no, it's to you. Surprise. You know, and there was something a little concerning. Um, he said my blood cells were trying to mix Taylor Dane with Pavarotti. So apparently the doctor said there's no fountain in hell that would play those two together.

So Matt is like, I mean, is there something we should be worried about? He's well, my body is like so stressed and it's like over pumping semen. So like lots of semen. That's semen. Can you imagine if I'm sterile? I mean, at least my guys don't have strange heads like Tom Schwartz does, you know, but And she's like, well, is there a chance you might be sterile? Because if that's true, I'm batting two for two this episode.

I break up someone with my gossip and second of all, I don't have to have a baby with you. Come on, let's do it. I really thought I was going to want to have babies with you once you got rid of the mullet, but it didn't help. It's like, wait a minute, what do you mean? It's like, well, I don't know. Like I'm in a weird place. Like I'm a bathing suit designer now, you know?

And I'm like, you know, some days I feel like why am I not pregnant? But then the other days I'm like, why would I be pregnant right now? Gross. He's like, well, well basically you took away her dream of moving to New Jersey and she's like, nah, well fine. I'm not going to have a baby then. And she's like, Amanda's like, I don't know, maybe like a year from now or I just, I've just been struggling a lot and I don't know, I'm just like from now, or I've just been struggling a lot,

and I don't know, I'm just like not suited to take care of something else. I love this for her so much. I love that she wants to take care of herself first. She's not feeling obligated to any timeline that's being put on her by a guy or society, whatever. She just wants to focus on herself. And I think this is wonderful,

and we need to see more of this on TV. Well, I worry that Amanda's just like given up because it's Kyle and he's never going to change. And she's like, well, I'm not having a baby with someone who insists on living in the city and who refuses to like move to a good place for kids and then decides to start DJing to give himself an excuse to be wasted five nights a week till five in the morning out with strangers. And I'm going gonna do it all.

I guess I'm not gonna have a baby, you know what I mean? Because she always really wanted kids. So I'm just hoping she's not doing it because she's just kind of given up on Kyle as an option, but she's gonna stay with Kyle, if that makes any sense. But if that's really what she wants, of course, good for her. And it's gonna be hilarious to watch how it changes Kyle because now that she doesn't want a baby, Kyle's gonna act like a huge victim. Like, oh, but she said she wanted a baby, now she's taking it back on me. What am I gonna do?

When he's been the one kicking his feet about a baby this whole time. Yeah. I mean, we're coming up on three years married. My dad turns 81 in August. Yeah, well, you don't have kids for your parents. That's so stupid. That's the dumbest plan ever. And people do it all the time, but that should never be a reason to have kids.

Your dad's going to be old and dead no matter what you do. So have kids when you're ready, okay? His ghost can be proud of you doing it the right time. No offense. That's right. And he's like, I mean, time is ticking, you know? And 90% of the blood, sweat, and I put into like Glover Boys for our future. Well, actually it's really just to fund the DJ equipment.

I've got a sick remix of Bruce Hornsby I'm working on right now. And our kids in my mind, like the only true payoff is there's just like something more than once in my life right now. She's like, yeah, but like I mean, it's not like you're sitting here itching and eager. It's not like you're asking me every day to have kids. And he's like, I know, man, I just didn't expect you to say that. That's, um, yeah. And that's how we end. Wow. Will they ever have kids?

Super sad stuff. Like, I don't know. So yeah, I mean, I think that's a good decision for her. I just, you know, I said my final piece. I just can't wait to watch Kyle make himself a huge victim for the next few weeks. Like, Oh, all I wanted was kids. All right, everybody. The next, the next summer house recap will be in Austin. And we are hoping to see you all there if you're in their area. And again, go to watch your crap is.com to get your ticketing links to the various shows, including the new shows, which will be,

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