Watch What Crappens - #2838 Top Chef S22E09 Part Two: Mission Gayle-possible

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

This is part two of a two-part recapThe challenge on this week’s Top Chef: Destination Canada is Mission Impossible themed, so stunts will be done. How we gonna make hollandaise fly, people...? To watch this recap on video, listen to our Trailer Trash bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Kat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Watch what happens, oh well you won't be too happy Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey wait a minute I didn't hear part one.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Kristen's like, so Buddha, if I remember correctly, you've done a lot of on crude house Mossimo's and he's like, Oh, fantastic. All me two hours to make pastry, bake it up, fill it up on me. Kudos to him. Yeah. Gals, gals on crude snuggie doesn't really compare. does it Gale? So Patrick, this guy Patrick is like, he likes it. And he's like, well, is it a big dog? Gale's like the opposite of encroute. A Gale encroute is like backwards encroute
Starting point is 00:01:36 because encroute is fish wrapped in carbs and Gale encroute is carbs wrapped in Gale. I often say Gale's hair is encrute just because it's so crusty. We did Gail's 23 in me and it came back and it just said white bread. So Tom is like, yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, this is like, maybe it's not a big, not a big risk, but since we have a, we have an actor here, I'll just say first take, you don't go back and do it again. You hit it on the first take. Am I right? And Tarzan's like, yeah, run out of time. The sun's going down. You got to get the shot. You know, you're about to go into overtime. You don't want to pay those guild dues, you know, the drivers are ready
Starting point is 00:02:23 to take you off the set. You're waiting for your, your, your rundown, your call sheet for tomorrow. Am I right? Actoring. Yeah. So now they talk about Lana's dish and Tarzan's like, you know, I don't know how into this was, but I don't want every role I get either. And so I'm just going to call this dish, but I choose my career sometimes. And that is doing it for the insurance. Hitting my sag minimum. That's what I call this. Exactly. As I squeeze this pipette.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Yeah. So he's like, love the heart behind it. No pun intended. That was actor pun. Cause there's little hearts here. Okay. But you know, this did bring me back to New Orleans and it reminded me of my mom's fried food, but it sucked.
Starting point is 00:03:04 So it turns out my mom can't cook. Okay. If my mom ever made a decent meal, that would be a stunt. How's Tarzan here? Tarzan clocking in. For me, this just kind of was like a fried pile of cornmeal. Gayle, stop talking about your shampoo. We're trying to judge some food here. It just tasted raw. Well, imagine how the cornmeal felt. So then, yeah, they don't like this cornmeal. And then in the kitchen, Bailey and Cesar are getting ready for their food to come out. And Cesar was having some issue with his fish tweedles because they're cooking too fast on the flat top
Starting point is 00:03:49 so he has to go to a pan and then he has to rush things and some are getting burned and he's being sloppy and everything's going to shit for Cesar. Yeah, and so he's pissed. And next up is, dun dun dun dun dun, Cesar and Bailey. So they do think that Bailey's dishes dessert, which is crazy. And Tarzan's like, is this dessert? Wow. Or is it acting like somebody else? God, this dessert is almost enough good enough action to know Tommy Cruise.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Did this dessert go to Stella Adler? Because it is really playing a part right now. Wow, what is this? Jeremy Su is method. He, by the way, he actually has like a very hard time getting over the fact that it's not dessert. He's like, so this is not dessert? Cause it looks like dessert. Like, no, it's a lasagna.
Starting point is 00:04:40 But it's dessert. It looks like German soup. It's dessert guys. Come on. I'm an actor, but I'm not, I'm not dumb. It's a lasagna. But it's a dessert. It looks like tiramisu. It's a dessert, guys, come on. I'm an actor, but I'm not dumb. It's a dessert, guys, come on. And Tom's like, well, I think that's a trick, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:51 because it's supposed to look like dessert, but it's not. But why would someone want to eat something that looks like dessert? It's not dessert. I mean, come on. He's like gonna call his publicist, what the fuck sort of shows you put me on the desert. The desserts that it tastes like main meals for the main meals that look like dessert.
Starting point is 00:05:08 I don't know. I don't know what the fuck this is, but get me off it. These fuckers tried to trick me. Do they know who I am? I'm an actor. I'm Tarzan. So Bailey's like, so I made a tiramisu foruggazzi. I made a porcini crispelle, a nocina sausage bolognese, a bechamel layered in with just a little bit of truffle.
Starting point is 00:05:30 And basically I just made like a slice of cake, but it's actual lasagna. Tarzan, are you okay? You seem to be sneering at me and very angry at the moment. Bailey's constant pasta is making me crazy. And now I know this isn't pasta. This is crepes that she's calling a lasagna. But I still just get annoyed that she keeps saying pasta, pasta, pasta. Like I get it. You're working in Italian. You're like Nomad without the name Nomad, you know? Constant pasta is all she cooks. Like I get it.
Starting point is 00:06:08 You were in an Italian restaurant. Fuck. So Cesar is like, this is a miniature CN tower. So your mission is to break through it. Fish twill that's on top and inside you'll find Arctic char. And then you have a secret weapon and it's going to be sauce and sure. Make sure to grab them, but don't do it too fast because they get scared by sudden moves. I don't like stunts. They're scary By the way, this is I think the first time I've ever heard the phrase your secret weapon is going to be sauce
Starting point is 00:06:43 You're gonna break into the CN tower you're going to do it with sauce. Wow. Well, that's handy. Gail's already got some of that secret weapon all over her face. Hey, can someone give Gail the stunt of a napkin? Here's a stunt clearing Gail's plate before she's licked every single last scrap off of it. I hope you don't mind bite marks. So Tarzan's like, wait a minute, this is sweet too. Is this sweet? Why is this sweet?
Starting point is 00:07:18 And he's like, well, there's a romaine jam in there. Doesn't that sound good? Romaine jam? It's a jam made out of Romaine. What a Romaine Jam. So then yes, Tarzan is losing his mind because the thing that looks like dessert is actually a savory.
Starting point is 00:07:35 And the thing that looks like dinner is tastes like dessert. And he's like, I don't understand this. Okay, I'm an actor, but no one told me to prepare for this. Okay, I don't know what sort of response I'm supposed to have. What is the motivation of me right now? This is out of my control. Tom Bilys That's a custard. There's a custard in there as well. So that dish also sounds crazy. So
Starting point is 00:07:55 then now they're talking about Bailey's dish and they like it. Okay. They actually really like it. And they're like, wow, Tom's like, well, you know, crepes are a little thick and doughy. You just gonna let that one sit on the table? Listen, everybody, I can't do everything. Okay, I'm up here trying to ask Lucy Riccardo why she ever broke up with that handsome Cuban. Tarzan, why don't you give it a try? Okay, your prompt is this is like this crepe is a little thick and doughy. Okay, Tarzan, go.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Um, I've been in movies. Idiot. Have you been in a movie with Lena Waithe? I didn't think so. Go back to being stupid. So, uh, Tarzan was like, I felt deceived though. I felt deceived because like one was savory, one was custardy. I just don't get it. So did they like the sweetness of Caesar's dish? And one of the judges is like, no, the oil from the tool melt with the custard, no, it's not good. And Buddha's like, well, the fish was handled nicely, presentation was great, but it needed some acidity to cut through that sweetness. I don't really understand that. I would have preferred of the acidity to cut through that sweetness. I don't really understand that.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I would have preferred if the acidity was being lifted by fire created by sunflower seeds that had been re-homogenized with a little bit of natural kerosene. I, instead of having a fish twill that we break, he should have made a blimp out of fish twill and it floats over the table and you have to throw tiny forks at it and hope it crashes. That's a stunt. Well, I'm finding the twill to be somehow burnt. Yeah, but that's like when Gae was in dance class as a little kid and her tool was almost burnt because of her thighs rubbing together during plie time.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Plie time, more like, please get out of here time. So Tarzan's like, hey, I'm a big sweet person. I'm almost as into sweets as I'm into acting. So when I taste that the sweet was like, not sweet, I was like, huh, I mean, the fish was good, but together, I don't know. I don't know what sort of fuckery you people are doing, but on the set of Mission Impossible, the sweet things were sweet and the savory things were savory. And I've had enough of this bullshit. Wow, actors, huh? I finally found someone dumber than a mixologist.
Starting point is 00:10:20 That's something. And he's like, yeah, you know, and I had a different idea of what stunts were going to look like. Did I ever tell you what I pulled off with Tommy Cruise? I mean, that was on the side of a plane. Okay. Now you're going to put some ice cream into a fucking fish and I'm supposed to clap.
Starting point is 00:10:35 I'm sorry, guys. I need some sparkles in the food. Okay. So at least I can say, wow, there's sparkles. There's danger. Watch out. He's not wrong. He's like, I already came all the way up here to Toronto
Starting point is 00:10:48 to shoot this scene with you guys and there's not any sparkler anywhere. I just have to pretend that I care that a fish on crude was made in two hours. Yeah, how was something not like flambéed or something where you light a little string and it goes, boom, boom, boom, boom, and then starts the fire. You know, something.
Starting point is 00:11:06 I mean, it's like a flaming Dr. Pepper at this point. Geez. So, so then in the kitchen, Vinny is making his lasers. This is the first time we actually see his lasers. I love that he decided to do lasers because he's like trying to do a stunt. But when we actually see these lasers, it's like- It's breadsticks. It's breadsticks. It's literal breadsticks rested on top of a bowl.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Okay. They don't look like lasers. There's nothing lazery about this, but he calls them lasers. Now, his dish is actually beautiful. It does look like a very high beautiful. Yeah, it looks gorgeous. I mean, the artwork of it is just beautiful. It looks really good. But then he decides he needs to do more to make it a stunt. So he has it in a bowl and then it's served on a plate. And then he pours dry ice all over it, all over the plate, which freezes the dish. Freezes the entire thing. The entire thing. Like the salt, like, cause the dish. Freezes the entire thing.
Starting point is 00:12:05 The entire thing. Like the sauce, like, cause the dish, like the two plates are actually melted together cause it's like a bowl with a dish and then there's the bowl under it. That has the dry ice and it just freeze together. And meanwhile, Tristan, cause he's, Tristan's also using dry ice
Starting point is 00:12:22 cause his whole thing is that he's going to serve his sauce And you know how he's like, oh you have to get the sauce before it gets too cold So he's serving a sauce in a bowl with dry ice and the idea is that if they wait too long to Get to the sauce the dry ice is gonna make it too cold and they're gonna like they're gonna fail So he's adding like a ticking clock, but the problem is that he doesn't get to present his food first So he's just sitting there waiting before two people while his shit just gets frozen over also Yes So Tristan's you know, they're like, oh my god, that's so clever a timer went off
Starting point is 00:12:54 We had to get the sauce for the thing. Oh my god. Why is my chicken bleeding moose? But let's see so we get to why start with why first though. Yeah. Let's start with why. Yeah. So why actually goes first, which I think the producers did on purpose just to fuck over the two people who use dry ice, knowing that the dry ice was going to mess up their dishes. So why is like, you know, uh, actually no Vinnie starts, but then we have schweier who then has his turducken, which I still don't understand
Starting point is 00:13:26 the stunt here. This is actually the most, this may be the biggest stretch of all. Like there's no stunt here. This is just a Turducken. Yeah. And he doesn't even make it sound like a stunt. He sells his as I'm sticking with my trashy fantasy theme. I'm like, okay. So then being gay isn't a stunt. It's just sadness. So Tristan is like, Yeah, this is chicken impossible. It's a chicken wing stuffed with a virus of crab. A virus of crab and sausage and chicken. So the antidote is American flavored like the Viet Cajun seafood bowl. Okay, so now it's judging time and they can't eat Vinny's.
Starting point is 00:14:11 It's like literally frozen. And John was like, well, if the mission was to make ice pop out of raw beef, nailed it, nailed it. Yeah, and they basically can't eat it and they try to eat it and they just can't at all. And Buddha's like, in terms of story, I was blown away. I mean, the key, the lasers, I mean, if he levitated away from the dry ice, it could have been a very, very interesting dish. Or if he just made the dish levitate, why can't any of these people make these dishes float? That's all I asked for floating food.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Yeah. And Kristen's like, well, I want to try it. So does anybody have a piece that's not frozen? So Tom's like, yeah, here you go. And it's rock solid. Gail's like, that is rock solid. I can't. And so, yeah, the shawaii's dish is next. And someone likes the texture, but they don't love, they think there needs to be more veg or whatever. And Gale's like, well, that is a well-constructed turducken. We'll say that. Anyone, anyone? Anne Boleyn, you want to get in on this? Okay, hold on.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Anne Boleyn says the following. She has no head, I'm sorry. She didn't have any jokes. She cried moving her mouth, but nothing came out because her voice box is still stuck on her body. Still more interesting than anything Gale ever says, am I right? So then we'll talk about Tristan's. And one thing that happened with Tristan's is his whole stunt of like, you got to get
Starting point is 00:15:40 the sauce out of these bowls before, like in 30 seconds before it got too cold. But because the dry ice was like going, when they all reach in, did you notice that clearly the sauce was like ice cold and they're all reaching in like, ha, ha, ha. They're all like, their fingers, they're like, they didn't want to touch it. They're like freezing their fingers off. Pete Slauson Yeah, so that was kind of a fail, but Buddha thinks it was tasty and textural and well-seasoned. And he's like, well, you know what, Patrick says, the dish at least had a point of view
Starting point is 00:16:11 and was delicious and the sauce was the best thing we ate today. It was restaurant ready. So they liked his. He got off well again. And then they're like, overall, it was decent, but yikes. So we go to, I like the little judge. We didn't hear much from her, but she, one of the dishes she goes, wow, this mission was impossible. What did she say? She said something like that. She was impossible. Yeah. So then they go, they're also like, you know, they're also like, guys, we have, we have an actor here and this is what you served us. Come on. They're so embarrassed. Well, it wasn't Tom Cruise.
Starting point is 00:16:47 You know what I mean? That's what they always do. Well, actually didn't Jurassic Park, they got Ron, I hate calling her Ron Howard's daughter, but I always forget her name. Did they, no, I think that she did like a video, but the actress that they got was a minor actress. They've been getting like smaller and smaller actors for these movies.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Yeah, they had Charlie's there in one year, but after that it's been like, here's someone who has a small role in this blockbuster. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap in commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes and politics.
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Starting point is 00:18:02 They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
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Starting point is 00:20:08 and brand new episodes on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the original series before anyone else and completely ad free on Wondry Plus. Okay, so let's go to judges table. Tristan, Bailey, Mossimo, please stay here. You had our favorite dishes of the day holler. So yeah, Mossimo goes, this was me running through a wall for you.
Starting point is 00:20:38 They're like, it's you made fish in the pastry. Buddha's like, Mossimo, I've done welling tins before inside the top chef kitchen. It's definitely a hard thing to do. And I thought you did extremely well. Although one thing I did notice about your fish, it wasn't floating. Have you even thought about putting helium in it? Come on now. This is, Chris, since like, wow, so satisfying, rich, heavy. It was just the savory bomb we expected. And
Starting point is 00:21:09 Buddha's like, I felt like it was a stunt double when it came out. Great job. And Tarzan's like, I don't even trust you, Bailey, because I had tiramisu. But then once I got past it, I had to say, whoa, I'm not eating sweets. How am I going to explain this to Tom Cruise when I already texted him, dude, they're serving me tiramisu. You know, you only get one shot with that guy. So Buddha is like, he's like, Tristian, can you tell us more about how he came up with the, your virus, your chicken mousse virus chicken wing? you a virus, your chicken moose virus chicken wing. It's like, yeah, well, there is this mission possible where they had to put a virus into like someone's arm.
Starting point is 00:21:49 And I thought, you know what I want to do? I already made chocolate soil last week. So now let me make chicken virus. You know, during this time when we have avian bird flu going around, let's make some virus and put it into a chicken wing. So then, Boodle loved it. He liked it. He liked the story as well. Tom loved the flavors. So it's up to Tarzan to announce the winner. And he's like, as an actor, I would like to say
Starting point is 00:22:20 the winning chef today was not Tom Cruise, but Tom Cruise could have played this role. I'm telling you, might've won an Oscar for it if he was dangling off the side of a building while he did it, which I've done with him because I'm an actor. But guess who the win is? I forgot. Lime. Lime. And the winner is Mossimo for your non-floating fish.
Starting point is 00:22:43 And Mossimo's like, oh, hey, whoa, as they say, in hockey they say you have to learn how to lose before you learn how to win. That explains Gale's fashion sense. Still waiting for that wind though. 22 seasons in, we haven't gotten to that wind. But. Wow.
Starting point is 00:23:00 So he's basically like, now I'm heating up, I'm on cloud nine. Buddha's like, don't tempt me with a floating cloud. So, Kristen, so he wins $10,000 and two tickets for you and a guest to go to the premiere of the new Mission Impossible movie, courtesy of Paramount Pictures, where you'll be flown by Spirit Airlines, a new spirit in the sky, Spirit Airlines. And Tarzan's like, and you're sitting with me. And he's like, oh God, is Tom Cruise gonna be there?
Starting point is 00:23:29 I don't know, but they usually put me at the back of the theater. So I don't know if they're gonna sit with me. What, are we gonna sit with this fucking guy? He's gonna be sat by the popcorn stand. The hell. I really want to know if he's going to sit next to Tarzan. I actually want follow through on that because I think that premiere must be happening this week or something like that.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I want to know, did they sit next to each other? Because you can't make a promise like that on TV and not follow through Tarzan. Yeah. I guess we'll see where Tarzan lands. So then the other chefs on the bottom are Lonnie, Vinnie and Cesar. Guys, you sucked. Let's talk about it. The other chefs on the bottom are Lonnie, Vinnie and Cesar. Guys you sucked. Let's talk about it.
Starting point is 00:24:07 So Lana, what was the crumble? And she's like, my mom, my mom, my mom, love my mom. And so my mom. And then I folded in a little bit of melted extra to give that powdery look. And girls like, um, so when you say you cook that down, was that in a saute pan? And she goes, no, I baked it. She goes, mm, okay, that makes much more sense. That makes much more sense.
Starting point is 00:24:31 You baked it. So you failed. So if this were an egg, would you say that this was a burnt shard rubbery egg? Yeah, my big problem is that the cornmeal never became hydrated. It's like you might as well just serve us cornmeal. I mean, was that actually cornmeal or was there a stunt here?
Starting point is 00:24:48 Was this just, I don't know, Gale's dandruff? Wow, Tom, didn't see that coming. Good. Wow, never became hydrated. What are we, Gale's pores? Tarzan's like, it felt like the cornmeal was a bit dry and crunch sandy, which is funny because I did read for the role of crunch sandy in the Captain Crunch biopic that's coming out later this year, but I unfortunately lost to Brendan Fraser.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Still a little salty about it. And Gale's like, um, the connection between the fish and the fry, I just couldn't get that because they were texturally, texturally off. I need more of a connection between the fish and the fry, I just couldn't get that because they were texturally off. I need more of a connection between fish and fry. That's what I'm asking for. Gail's favorite song is the fish fry connection from the Muppets. We haven't told you yet that it's,
Starting point is 00:25:36 she got the lyrics wrong. One connection Gail doesn't need more of, the connection between fry and mouths. of, the connection between fry and mouths. So Vinny, and Vinny's like, oh, I mean, everything was great. I loved it. I had a great time. Nomad makes it, you know, it always works there. And I slowly saw the tartare starting to freeze in front of you. It was like winter at Nomad. Am I right, everybody? Yeah, watching that Tartar slowly freeze in front of you is like realizing your dreams of being the next Top Chef are freezing up with the moment they said,
Starting point is 00:26:14 stop cooking hollandaise. I just froze, didn't want to do. And Kristen's like, dry ice can freeze a thin layer of raw beef in 10 seconds, just so you know. I don't know if you've learned that in school, but that's what happened. Tarzan is like, you know, I enjoyed it, the smoke and everything. That was so cool. And I appreciated that your tartar tastes like tartar,
Starting point is 00:26:34 not a fucking dessert. But oftentimes in movies we have, we have the big action stuff and there's nothing behind it, man. And it feels like that's what happened in this situation. It was like an action movie without any substance. Okay. Like, yeah, Tarzan's like, you know all those movies that aren't Mission Impossible, just all action and no substance.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Mission Impossible is all action and no substance. That's the point, sir. What movies has Tarzan been in that are like full of all the, okay, let's see. His movies, he's been in Mission Impossible like full of all the, okay, let's see his movies. He's been to Mission Impossible, Mission Impossible, Top Gun Maverick, Tales from the Hood, Call of the Wild. Okay. So you know all those movies with all that meaning behind it.
Starting point is 00:27:17 He's like, it's not called Call of the Wild Tiramisu. That's really a lasagna. Okay. It's not called the lasagna. It's called the tiramisu. And Gale's like, this dish suffered from the need for some editing. Oh, really, Gale? Someone needs to take their own advice in the wardrobe. Diana Vreeland told me to tell you that. So, Chris is like, C Caesar, are you surprised to be standing here? And he's like, yeah, my storytelling didn't do so well. I think I got spooked because I had a dream that my
Starting point is 00:27:56 rutabaga ate me from under my bed. He grew through my mattress and tied me down and then started eating me alive. So Buddha's like, well, the turmeric custard, I mean, that was overpowering, am I right? Spiritually, it really touched me. Was there a specific sort of flavor profile of sort of cuisine that you were looking at that you completely missed? Or if the idea for this was a stop and you were on the bus that passed it. Do you know what went wrong there?
Starting point is 00:28:27 Could you just tell me, should the, should the bus have been floating above the stop? That's what I'm asking. And what if a guy was hanging off of the bus, like an actor might be in a Mission Impossible movie, gets rocked, Tulsa, and you get in the hang of it now. And it says, sorry, it's like, um, I was playing off fresh flavors and textures, but I don't know. I guess it just didn't come together. Oh, so many get jokes about Gale to be had.
Starting point is 00:28:55 I mean, really, you guys just make it so easy for me. It's almost not fun anymore. I'm literally exhausted with this. I've been trying to pay attention to Rob Goulet covering Beyonce's powerful 18 carriages. Unfortunately, Gail ate two of the carriages, so we're down to 16. Gail's reading Stents to Heaven. She eats ghost carriages. It's shocking.
Starting point is 00:29:23 John Denver started crying when the carriages went missing. John Denver She also ate his country road. Now he just goes down country grass. It's so sad for him. David Kempner So they do some private judging and they're like, well, Lana's cornmeal was shitty, but you know, how was the rest of the dish? And Buddha's like, well, I mean, she tried to create an illusion with the description, but there was no illusion. And Gayle's like, um, if I ate with my eyes closed,
Starting point is 00:29:56 I never would have gotten that. Well, yeah. Yeah. Stop talking about how you sleep. Yeah. Stop talking about how you sleep. Go into Gail's house at 3 a.m. She just props her head up on that table and shuts those eyes. Oh, and Tarzan's like, well, I'm telling you this, I would be upset if I spent a lot of money for that dish. Damn, Tarzan. And then, but thankfully I don't spend a lot of money on dishes because I'm an actor and I generally get them for free or I don't eat them. And Tom's like, yeah, and then we get frozen tartar. Well, they should have served it chiseled, just like we serve action stars. Am I right, Tom? You should see Tom's apps. And Gale's like, honestly, that actually would have been a good stunt. So Kristen's like, well, you know, when you can't actually eat a dish,
Starting point is 00:30:50 I mean, what do you do with that? Well, I'm afraid that Gale has never encountered that issue before. I was going to say, Gale hasn't met that dish yet. I mean, give her a rubber tire, still be bite marks in it. Gale would literally eat the dish. So, Buddha's like, oh God, it's hard to see somebody fail with dry eyes because so many of us really, really rely on that in our daily walks of life. And Gale's like, I mean, it feels like he was sabotaged in the end by the evil genius
Starting point is 00:31:23 who came in and froze everything. Oh, calm down, Gail, they're just little barbs. I wasn't talking about you. Please just stay dead. Gail, stop trying to get cast in Mission Impossible, okay? You're not gonna be a movie star. So, well- And now, Cesar's dish,
Starting point is 00:31:41 Kristen calls it overwhelmingly sweet and confused. And also burnt, don't forget about that. Burnt, burnt. Everyone's like, yeah, Cesar's dish was disgusting. I wanted to vomit, gross. And Tarzan's like, I kind of liked it. Actor. Tom's like, well, for dessert, it's good, I guess.
Starting point is 00:32:03 And Gail goes, but for a tartar, it's not Tarzan. Tarzan's like, wait, it's called a tartar? I thought all this time you guys had just come up with a cool new nickname for me. I was like, hey, I'm Tartar. No, it's an actual dish. Booty's like, well, booty. Buddha's like, well, I don't see where it was going flavor-wise and I don't see where it was going stump-wise as well. I mean, where was it going?
Starting point is 00:32:27 That was a lost, lost, lost Tartar. Are you guys talking about me or the dish? I'm now fully confused. I admitted that I thought it was a tiramisu. Okay, I admitted that. You don't have to call me a liar. You don't have to make fun of me. I got it in the end.
Starting point is 00:32:42 I know I'm an actor. I know I'm handsome. I'm an actor. I know I'm handsome. I'm not dumb, but I am a little confused every time you say Taradar. Are you talking about me? Are you shading me?
Starting point is 00:32:53 It's not cool, guys. So now they have to go to the quick fires because it's like everyone's messed up so much. And basically the track record is that Lana and Vinny did well in the quick fires and Sazer are messed up. So ultimately- This is really saving Lana's ass, I think. Because I think that that fish would have been a goner. And it's sad that it's so bad that it's even a question when they couldn't even eat Vinny's. They couldn't even eat Vinny's. And
Starting point is 00:33:20 the fact that it's still a question between other people is crazy. And the fact that it's still a question between other people is crazy. So it's been really bad. Yeah. Yeah. So Vinny was in the top for his muscle larb. So they're going to keep him and says, sorry, Tom's like, and says, sorry, who's on the bottom and on the bottom. It's double bottom.
Starting point is 00:33:37 What are we? What are we on Bravo? So basically, yeah, that's going to seal the deal. So they come out and, you know, chefs, you had to actually conceive this stunt that clearly pulled some people out of their comfort zone. Tarzan over here is still trembling about this whole dessert situation. He's very confused. For the most part, you really didn't deliver, neither on the story, the stunt or the execution
Starting point is 00:34:04 of the dish. Kristen? Pum-pum? Pum-pum? Pum-pum, Kristen? Uh, so Kristen's like, Cesar, please pack your knives and go. Cesar, you've got a chance in hell. You've got a snowball's chance in hell of getting back into this competition.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Through Last Chance Kitchen, we'll see you there. It's a great show. I love it. You've got a snowball chance in hell of getting back into this competition through last chance kitchen. We'll see you there. It's a great show. I love it. It's going to be good. Yep. I actually watched last chance kitchen, but I will not spoil what happened.
Starting point is 00:34:36 But, um, Oh, I want to know. Okay, everyone. This is a last chance kitchen spoiler. If you don't want to hear it, you can just end the episode now. And now we go. Okay, we're giving you a chance. One, two, three, this is a Last Chance Kitchen spoiler. If you don't wanna hear it, you can just end the episode now. And now here we go. Yeah, press stop. Okay, we're giving you a chance.
Starting point is 00:34:47 One, two, three, press stop. Okay. Okay, so here's one thing you have to know about Last Chance Kitchen is that it's a two-parter and I didn't realize it, so I just downloaded the most recent one and it was like, welcome back to part two. I was like, okay.
Starting point is 00:34:58 So Katiana's been killing it before she's killing it. And so this was the finale of Last Chance Kitchen because the winner of this challenge is gonna get the condition. I knew she was coming back. I knew of summer. It was a best two out of three thing. So I missed the first part, but apparently the first part, she actually lost the first challenge.
Starting point is 00:35:17 So then the second challenge was, you have to make a perfect bite. So they both make a bite and Katiana won the second one. Her bite, Cesar did some weird ass shit. He did like a, uh, a Gouger that was filled with blue cheese and, um, white chocolate. He's like, so Tom's like, I don't even know what the, what is this? He was like, I don't know what the fuck this is. So then it was tied.
Starting point is 00:35:46 And so now Tom's like, all right, sudden death. Just make me a great dish. Grab me, maybe whatever you want. So he says, Zara decides to, he takes a zucchini and he spirals it up and he grills it. And he does like zucchini, but with blueberries. And it's like this weird funky thing. And then Katiana's like,
Starting point is 00:36:05 I'm gonna go to a flavor profiles from when I first started cooking. So she decides to make a cauliflower soup with like raisins and there's something else in it. Yeah, which I was like, that's oddly, I think, oddly safe and also like not what she's really known for. And so her soup, Tom basically said, you know, Katiana, I like what you did here, but your soup is kind of under seasoned.
Starting point is 00:36:29 And then with Cesar, he's like, you know, says, are you either, your dishes are either really, really good or really, really bad. And then this one, you know, it's kind of getting there. And then the end, uh, the winner coming back to the competition, Cesar, Cesar one. Oh no, I was wrong. I thought for sure Katiana was going to be coming. I was shocked. I thought Katiana, like I could not believe it, but she should not have been making a cauliflower soup. She bumped it at the end, right? She screws it up at the end because I was going to say,
Starting point is 00:36:59 when she made that weird tofu crumble thing, it was another thing. She was like, well, I like it. I like tofu. So I'm going to, I was like, no. I mean, it seemed like a mistake when she was doing it. And this being like, I'm going to go back to what I made, I like to make when I first started, does not sound like a good... Yeah. And Cesar's will definitely seem strange, but it actually looked very beautiful. It's just, it looked like a more elevated dish. And she said that when she was a line cook in Vegas, these were flavor profiles that she used when she first started.
Starting point is 00:37:28 And I'm like, I get that. That's a nice story, but don't use. And cauliflower raisins, that all works. That's great, but like, I don't know. I feel like I wouldn't eat a cauliflower soup in Vegas. That sounds cray cray. That's the thing. We're going there this weekend.
Starting point is 00:37:42 I will not eat a cauliflower soup there. Yeah, I've made cauliflower soup, but here's what you get. A lot of garlic, a lot of onion, a lot of cream, a lot of seasoning because the cauliflower is nothing, you know, you actually need a lot of seasoning like more than you would think because otherwise it can go bland. And so I was so bummed. I thought, I thought for sure she was going to come back. She was, she was destroying everyone in last chance kitchen,
Starting point is 00:38:04 but says are just managed to come back. She was destroying everyone in Last Chance Kitchen, but Cesar just managed to eke by. Wow, that's too bad. And I liked Cesar, but I love Cesar, but I don't know, but I just thought she deserved a chance to come back and just kill. I saw her coming back and then winning it like Kristin did in her season. That's what I thought. And then she got kicked off. She came back and won the whole thing. Oh, well, I guess it's not going to happen. That's what I thought. And then she got kicked off. She came back and won the whole thing. Oh, well, I guess it's not gonna happen. That's too bad. It is too bad. It's a real shocker.
Starting point is 00:38:32 But good for him. At least he's a sweetheart, you know? And he has really cool creative stuff, but he's just also had some crazy missteps. I mean, I don't know. I feel like I want him to. The second issue described, I would kick him off just for that. Yeah. It's like, I want him, like, I like that he likes being bold,
Starting point is 00:38:51 but I also kind of want him to, to maybe just like just rein it in a little bit because he's clearly talented and he's gotten better and better over the course of the season. And like, it's cool that he thinks outside the box, but just don't assume that every single outside the box thing works. It's kind of like stop wasting all of our time, you know, like, well, yeah, out of the box is okay, but it's when people are like trying to be wacky just to be wacky, you know?
Starting point is 00:39:14 It's like Janet being like, I love Dave and Buster. Like you're just trying too hard. I was not expecting that comparison, but true, but true. Yeah. Well, so that's the news. Oh, well, but true. But true. Yeah. Oh, well. So that's the news. Oh, well, that sucks, but also good for Cesar, you know? So I guess we're going to see next.
Starting point is 00:39:30 So how many episodes are left? Probably just a few, right? I think probably like two or three because they said next week is the semi-finals, I think, or going into the semis. I don't know. Or it's like the battle for the semi-finals. I think there's now that, well, there's six people left, right? There's six people. No, with the top chef, they'll be back up to seven. So
Starting point is 00:39:49 but they'll probably do a double elimination. So it'll be probably three weeks left. Do you think I think it's about three, unless they make the finale to a two parter. We'll see. It's usually 12 episodes, I think. Yeah, only because you know, we're about to get our summer turnover. So in June, Yeah. Only because you know, we're about to get our summer turnover. So in June, all the new shows are kicking in, you know, you got like a real house was in Miami. You've got next gen New York City, a new below deck.
Starting point is 00:40:13 So top like Top Chef is going to start like winding down now and we'll probably done by I would say like the first week or week of June. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, everybody will be here no matter how long it goes. We will. We'll be here and tomorrow we'll be back with Love Island, not Love Island, god damn
Starting point is 00:40:31 it. We will be doing Love Island in June, speaking of, but Love Hotel and Below Dick tomorrow. So join us and we'll talk to you then. Thanks for being here. Bye. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.
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