Watch What Crappens - #2844 The Valley S2E05 Part Two: Notes of Bitterness and Acidity

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

This is part 2 of a two-parter!With the wine flowing, The Valley gets nasty on its cast trip. Michelle and Jesse have a dependably vicious argument, and then later Brit and Nia clash over Danny’s drunken snoozing. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  Tickets for our North American tour on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Kat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Kiss what happens, oh well you know I'm future Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. So Nia's like, okay, well, thanks for the apology, but we're going to move on. Now. I've got another storyline ready to go with my husband. And Luke is like, you know, less sometimes more man. Less is more, bro. I learned that Monet. Okay. I learned that on a trip to Monet. So, so then they all go back to the table, except Luke and Jesse and Michelle's telling the

girls what just happened as if they weren't five feet away. And Brittany's like, I'm proud of Michelle for getting in there and sticking up for herself. But we're also in this like really expensive, beautiful place. I mean, have some class people. Am I right? So Lady Grissini comes by and you're not wrong, but you're also constantly doing this shit. So yeah, they're like, okay, thanks for coming here. We got our name out there onto Bravo.

So you can go now. Bye. Are these people friends with the DeBros by the way? Why do I feel like they're friends with the Dubrow? No, they're too easy going and chill. But that guy I'm telling you if there was a time machine that was Lindsey Graham. That was Lindsey Graham. We just saw it was like baby Lindsey Graham.

If I have to drag people by their nipples to leave, I will. I will. So then Danny's show in everyone's glasses. He's like drunk uncle at the end of Thanksgiving, standing up and just taking all the half glass, half glasses of wine and taking them on the way out. I also feel like I kind of like the whole thing of like, I gotta catch up. Oh, I missed everything. I gotta catch up. I feel like if you're sincerely trying to catch up with everyone, the amount of like the quantity of booze that people have had and you're like

over 40, I think that's sad. I think it is sad. I know. It's like something that people do in their twenties. Like, Oh, I missed the party. You gotta catch up. Whatever. But like if you're over 40 and you're at a winery and you're like, I gotta catch up. It's like, Hmm,'re over 40 and you're at a winery and you're like, I gotta catch up, it's like, you just drink normally, like this is a red flag. Already as Nia pointed out, he's already way caught up. It's at one point she's like, okay, you caught up.

And this was like two hours ago in their time. So we go back to the Santa Barbara house and Kristen's like, I mean, Jesse, it's like complicated, but you know, like one minute he's calling his ex wife the hooker, but you know, he did buy us dinner. So, I'm not sure that that's complicated. I think there's actually a pretty clear cut. He buys, he buys pays off his friends to get away with the bad deeds. So I think it's a pretty simple, pretty simple person there. So, uh, now it's time for them to have this dinner that some private chefs

have made. They have some sweet corn bisque with scallops, which I kind of wanted. It looked delicious. And then, uh, Danny, uh, Danny is like going, he goes like into the pantry and there's like a, he gets like an emerald arrow to be like Danny and, um, and Janet goes in there too. And then Janet's like, Ooh, she tells us like, you know, I ventured into the pantry and suddenly Danny is following me in and I see this shadow hovering over me. And at first I was used to it. Cause I just assumed it was my hood. But then I realized, wait,

I'm not in my kitchen. What is this thing coming at my head? It was Danny and he was hunched over and he was charging tequila. I was like, why do you have to hide it? He hasn't really been hiding it, but I guess he did. I guess he did there, but he just like basically shoved 10 bottles of wine down his throat right in front of all of you. So I don't know that I'd accuse him of hiding, but maybe he was hiding it because Nia told him to stop drinking or whatever. She's like, okay, you need to slow down, Daniel. Slow down, Daniel. or whatever. She's like, okay, you need to slow down, Daniel, slow down, Daniel. So he went in there and chugged it. And then

meanwhile, Zach, Jasmine and Melissa are sitting down looking at the water. And Michelle goes to Jesse's door and goes in he's got his fucking headband on. So here we go. Yeah, so she's saying like, it's exhausting what a yo-yo and a roller coaster Jesse is. He's like a yo-yo on a roller coaster, so many things going in so many directions. Because basically he texted her saying like, can we go down to the ocean and talk?

And so she's saying, it's really annoying because he has these public outbursts and then wants to talk about things privately. And she's just really at her wits end. Right, so she goess and then wants to talk about things privately. And she's just really at her wits end. Right. So she goes up to his room to talk to him and he's like, do you want to close the door, go outside and close the door and have an actual conversation? She goes, okay, go ahead. So they're just standing there on this balcony. There's no furniture or anything.

She's standing there with her arms crossed. And he's like, listen, you know, here's my problem. And again, no apology, no apology for doubling down on hooker accusations or whatever. He's like, listen, you're going around telling everyone how happy you are. She goes, but I am happy. Look at me. I am so happy. And he's like, well, then why can't you be happy for me? And she goes, why are you so obsessed with this girl? We have a child. And he's like, and I'm in love with this person. She's like, I don't think Jesse was expecting me to move on. And I think it hurts him a little bit. And he wants me to acknowledge his happiness so he can believe that he is happy when clearly he isn't, which I think is true. So Michelle's like, all I care about is Isabella. She's constantly telling me that she

has a second mommy and it's not fair. You're not thinking about this because she is going to be one of many. This is going to affect Isabella. So basically Michelle's like, you guys aren't going to last. Stop telling Isabella this is second mommy because there are going to be a lot of mommies coming through here. And again, I mean, she's right, but you can't tell him how to live his life now because they're separated and you're doing the same thing. So this couple is just making me fucking crazy because they're both just walking disasters. Like I'm team Michelle because Jesse so bad, but I mean, I don't think she's telling him how to live his life, but she's saying like, you can date these people, but like, stop, like don't allow,

don't bring them so close that they're like, viewed as like a second mommy, you know? Of course she has this boyfriend. She does, but I think though that what's his face, she introduces him as like a friend, right? Not as like romantic, I don't really know exactly, but it sounds like from what the implication is that Jesse is exposing Isabella to maybe too intense

a degree of the new woman, but I mean, I don't know. But I think she's just like- I know what she's saying. I'm just saying she's guilty of it too. They're both doing it wrong. As someone with no children, let me tell you how easy it is to judge parenting. You're both doing it wrong. As someone with no children, let me tell you how easy it is to judge parenting. You're both wrong. You're both doing this terribly, terribly wrong. So,

he's like, so what? Who gives a shit? And she's like, don't involve my daughter. And he's like, that's my daughter. She goes, yes, it is our daughter. So meanwhile, Jasmine and them can all hear this. And so Jasmine's like, well, I mean, they're in a crazy place, but I really think that, you know, he's still inward, like the way that he looks at her, like he wants her, he misses her. And Zach's like, oh no, no, it's just like Jack's Taylor narcissist. Like, I don't want you, but I'm going to say whatever I need in the moment to just like, pull you in. And she's like, yeah, and he called her a hooker again. Yeah.

Exactly. Then we go back to the fighters and she's like, you called me an escort. Why would I be happy for you? And he's like, well, she's spending five days a week with your daughter. So what the hell? Why wouldn't she call her mom? It's like his reasoning. He doesn't get it at all. And she's like, yes, that is the boy and she shouldn't be.

And she's like, you started dating her five months ago. It's disrespectful. It's like, I started dating her when? Five months ago or two years ago. In November, not two years ago. Cause he's of course alluding to the guy in her life. And she's like, that's not even possible. I took care of our child while he was the one

who was always out. And I already told you the truth. I don't know what more you want from me." And he's like, I think you're a liar and a cheater. So he's like, yeah, she's trying to create a narrative that I'm a bad guy and it's all my fault. But she cheated on me and gave up on our marriage after she cheated. She gave up on your marriage because she cheated. She gave up on your marriage

because she's married to a douchebag who refused to go to work and went out partying every night while she was at home raising the baby. I mean, come on, we all see it. And if she cheated, good for her. And also, if she cheated, why do you want her to be happy for you then? Why do you need the approval of this woman who cheated on you? Okay. So, and I agree. If she did cheat, good for her because she probably needed it real bad. And now she says she admitted to kissing somebody, but that's it. But I think since she has admitted to cheating, but says it wasn't with Honeyman.

It was with some crazy-eyed Honeyman. It was with somebody else. So Jesse is like, did you fuck or did you not fuck? And it's like, you are a piece of shit. And he goes, you're the only lying, cheating whore that I know. And everyone's downstairs. This is rough. This show is rough. I've got to be honest. Like if we weren't doing this, I would have turned the show off. I can't. Oh, wow. Like it's not much. I just don't, I don't find it riveting at all. I find it fucking disgusting.

I think it's like nasty, trashy people just being nasty and trashy. And then I think of their kids like growing up. It's just gross. It's just gross, gross. So Jasmine's like, they're all listening and they're like, Oh my God, this is crazy. I'm just like, fuck you. I came here for your wellbeing and look at you. Look at you. You're a child. You're a child right now. I came here for your wellbeing. Okay. And you seem perfectly fine.. You're a child. You're a child right now. I came here for your well-being. Okay. And you seem perfectly fine. And I made a mistake. I made a big mistake. And thinking and just, he's like, did you or did you not cheat? And finally she just, there's a drink nearby. She takes, just throws it in his face, which was really great. And then she's, he's like, well,

I guess you just answered that question. She's like, why do, what do I have to do to make you stop? And she just pretty much like yelling at him and she's like, do you want me to scream to everybody? And he's like, yeah, yeah. Scream at everybody. So she's like, fine. Everybody. My husband refused to hug me and kiss me and tell me I'm pretty. And everyone's like, listening, this is very much like, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? Like the couple that is just like fighting in front of you and you're like, oh my God, get me out of here right now.

Yeah. And she's still yelling and screaming about that. And then everyone's still listening downstairs and Jess was like, did you hear that? She said that you spent all the money. She said that again. She said it again. And she's like, you are disgusting. So she walks off.

Did I tell you the other day in the, I don't think I did because we didn't drive together, but the hotel in Dallas, those walls were so thin. I don't know how the hotel was built, but you could hear everything going on in the room. Pete Slauson I had to change my room. I had a toddler next to me. Jared Slauson Yes. Well, I had a toxic couple next to me, or might have been these two. So, I woke up in the morning to fighting. It's like eight in the morning, okay? And these two are already going at it. And she's like, fuck you, you don't give me fucking anything I want. And then he's like, but I love you and I'm not trying.

She's like, no, you never put me first. You never fucking put me first. Fuck you, fuck you, you're trash. Like it was horrible. And she was like, and he's like, oh, but I do put you first, how don't I make you a priority? And she's like, you don't.

Where's my fucking kitchen? Which I thought was really funny. And so I'm packing my stuff, just listening to them. And basically, he was just like, I'm sorry. But of course, in my mind, I'm like, oh, please, what did you, what'd you do to get us here? You know, I watched enough of the valley to know this is on all one way street. So I pack up my stuff, they're still going out, it's 830 now. And she's still like cursing this guy out. And finally, I just went to where I was hearing it from in the room and I went divorce each other save us all some fucking time You're a terrible fucking couple. Oh my god. Did they say anything they quote? Oh

My god, my watch started. It's listen again, Julia Louie dry face I yelled so much. I got my watch, but they just got really quiet and listened. I went, seriously. And then I left and then I just heard them start fighting again when they, when I was walking out the door, I was like, well, that's so much better than having a loud toddler. I just had like, I was at first I was like, okay, I could do this. Like it's fine. Like as a toddler.

But then I was like, you know what? If this toddler starts crying in the middle of the night and I can wake up at like, at like butt clock AM I'm not, I do not want to be woken up out of my sleep for this toddler. And it was just like the parents were like trying to calm the toddler. It was like, and then they had another child that was running. It was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

And I was like, you know what? I'm no, I'm not gonna, these walls are too thin for this. But I just realized now that I told you the story, it was the site, it was two times that day that I yelled at someone to shut the fuck up because I also did it at the movie theater as I told you the other day. So that was quite a mother's day for me. That's a great, yeah, that's a great day.

So, okay, so everyone's like, Michelle is now like airing everything out into the house. She's like, she's at the bottom of the staircase. And she's like, basically screaming. And everyone's like, Oh my god. And Zach's like, did she kill him? Did she kill him? Once silence, I'm correct. It's just like a big long silence and goes, did she kill him? So Jasmine's like, Oh, you know, they've, they just go so low and, you know, she's been hiding. He says that she's been hiding and that she's been spending all this money. And, and then she said that he's been spending all the money and then, you know, she put

that out there. She put that out there. I mean, that's what they just did. Yeah. So then, so then now Michelle is like standing elsewhere and she's like really upset, like crying perhaps. And he is like, hi, I heard you were a little upset. You know, you look really pretty in this light. Should I take a picture of you? Sorry, I'm just trying to make you laugh. I like that's like the universal way

to like warm people on this cast. This would be really good on social media. Should I take a picture of you right now when you're crying? The lights would be a good lighting. You want me to get a shot for your profile on Insta? I know you're shattered right now, but the lighting is really good on you.

So then it kind of calms down a little bit and we go up to Danny upstairs. He's snoring in bed, wasted. And then Nia comes in and she's like, honey, are you sleeping? Are you gonna have dinner or are you just gonna continue your siesta? Honey, isn't this cute, everybody?

Look at my husband sleeping so cute. Okay, I guess you're just going to stay here then." So she leaves and Brittany's like, it's dinner time. And so they all go out to this table and then, Bungee, okay, paper Bungee, he's taped to one of the chairs so that way his feet don't have to touch the dusty ground. And everyone comes out, it's like nice. And they're still trying to wake up Danny and he is just not waking up whatsoever.

So then Jasmine's saying how like before dinner, me and Janet were talking and she told me that she caught Danny in the cupboard taking shots and it kind of made her feel uncomfortable because like we all know that he has an issue with like drinking and he kind of gets inappropriate. And you know, I've dealt with this dark side of Danny before. And, um, and so she's like very unsettled by all of this. And she tells a story again about Halloween, about how we grabbed her thigh and was like, get daddy a drink, which is like so gross, like incredibly gross. And grab Melissa's butt.

And she's like, he did apologize. And then we see a clip of him being like, that is not in my nature that I'm so, so sorry, you guys. And she goes, but you know, like I'm still uncomfortable. So they do a cheers to friendship, you know, and Kristen's like, oh, be kind to each other, gasket. So then, everyone basically, they start eating that the guy comes and gives them their food. And me is like,

oh my God, this soup is like, it's just someone to marry it. And Zach's like, oh my God, can you sexually be attracted to soup? Yes, Zarina is on below deck. So then Britt's phone starts dinging because she's getting more text messages from Jax. And it's like, also like she's clearly writing back to him by the way, because even Jax is not gonna send this many unanswered text messages, right? Like he's not gonna send 45 text messages over the course of 24 hours

unless he's getting some sort of responses. So she's clearly writing back Well, yeah, she says she says whenever he takes me does all this stuff, you know, I just can't help myself But look at him or respond. I don't know why I've just put Jacks before me for so many years I just need to help figure out how to put myself first again. That's why I need to do Benny first You know guy it's time for a commercial. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me.

And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph.

My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Some people get a wild haircut or book a spontaneous trip when life throws them a curve ball. But Molly? Well, she dove headfirst into a world

of no strings attached sex, secret rendezvous, forbidden affairs, and unforgettable adventures. And together we tell every juicy detail in Dying for Sex, Wondry's award-winning podcast that's now streaming on a TV near you, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. And to top it off, we're dropping brand new bonus episodes where I sit down with the cast to spill all the spicy secrets. Desire, friendship, self-discovery, and the ultimate bucket list of pleasure. This is a story that had everyone talking.

Listen to the original Dying for Sex and brand new episodes on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the original series before anyone else and completely ad free on Wondry Plus. Yeah, and everyone's trying to take the phone away from her and be like, no, Brittany, don't do this. And he has manipulation. So then Jason's like, hey guys, should we try to wake up Danny? And he's like, no, no, he's just sleep

deprived. You know, he has to really catch up. He had a hard morning making zombie noises and he's just this baby, so he's just really tired. You know how we all get. So she's gonna go try and wake him up again, right? Cause everybody's asking you about Danny, Danny, Danny. So she goes in and then Jasmine's like, oh my God, this is so fake. You guys are so fucking fake with this bullshit.

And Mia's like, guys, Jasmine, Jason. Oh, I guess she hasn't left yet. Does she leave now? Oh no. She's leaving somewhere in here to get like a sweatshirt because she's cold. Oh, okay, I see. So she comes back.

So then Kristen's like, oh, this is like stressful, so let's play a game. Hall pass, let's play Hall pass. Okay, let's play Hall pass. So Zach's like, oh, I'm chatting Tatum, duh. Okay, chatting Tatum would be passing by in the hallway, but I don't know, does the hall pass get me saying these? I know exactly.

Then Jason says, or hall passes just all flesh bots who would just fuck any old person from a dinner party. Yeah, I suppose so. And Jason's like, I'm a big Lady Gaga guy, so make some music and just, you know, bang it out, I guess. Wasn't there another show on Bravo where a guy was like, yeah, I'm really into Lady Gaga guy. So, you know, mixing music and just, you know, banging out, I guess. It didn't, wasn't there another show on Bravo where a guy was like, yeah, I'm really into Lady Gaga. Who was that?

It was driving me crazy. I can't think of it, but I know someone who's listening knows exactly what we're talking about. It was from like two or three years ago. But Jason having Lady Gaga as his hall pass, that kind of surprised me. I did not see that as a hall pass for him. I don't know what, I thought it was be like Kim Kardashian or something, but like not Lady Gaga.

He's like, yeah, you know, we could just make some music and like bang it out. Okay. Against the low lying hood in your kitchen. Yes, it'll be banging your foreheads. That's for sure. Yeah. So then Luke, Luke's like, um, I guess the little mermaid. I'm like, what? Like pre pre legs or post legs? I'm just feeling a little concerned. A cartoon mermaid.

Wow. There's something new every day. I mean, that's gotta be great news for Kristen. Could know that like, well, I guess he's not going to cheat on me because he's attracted to a cartoon. I might find him fucking a VHS, but that's okay. No, there are mermaids now. It's like a whole culture of mermaid ladies.

Yes. So then- That's another thing I see on Facebook. For some reason they keep advertising like mermaid retreats to me. Do I just seem like I need a mermaid retreat? They're like, bring your mermaid tails ladies. And we're going to bond as mermaids out in the ocean. No husbands. And then they show video of just women swimming around the ocean and the

mermaids and flapping their tails on rocks. Yeah. That's an interesting algorithm to, to stumble into. I wonder if it was like a little like Temu or something. Bears killing people at Yellowstone and, and mermaids flopping around on the trees. We need to see a bear eating a mermaid. And two climbing products. Well, we don't actually have hall passes because we live in LA and we were actually friends

with celebrities and meet celebrities. So you can't just be like, oh, I'm going to run into Chris Hemworth and have sex with him. Like they're all looking at her like, we all live in LA, and we all have some degree of fame at this point. So what are you talking about, Nia? But I love that Nia's like,

oh yeah, you know, Jesse's an under five on The Walking Dead, so I could fuck Crimson. You never know when Chris Hemsworth is really gonna try to fuck me. I know. Like, where did that come from? And I mean, the funny thing is like,

Jasmine and Kristen, who've been on TV way and the funny thing is like Jasmine and Kristin, who've been on TV way longer than the, like Jasmine's like, yeah, but not every celebrity, you know? And Jason's like, so you'd have sex with all of them? You're saying that like, you would just have sex with every celebrity that you saw? She's like, no, I mean, we rub shoulders with celebrities. You know, there's the guy who does

the El Pollo Loco commercial, he's pretty famous. And also the guy who works at Baja Fresh around the corner, he did a national ad for enterprise rent a car. So I don't know, it's just really risky to give out hall passes. Especially with so many of the people that we know are related to Mexican fast casual restaurants. Yeah, no one's falling for any of that. And Brittany is like, oh, we all live here and we're

gonna say what a hall pass is. You see Brittany's starting to get perturbed here for some reason. And Nia's like, no, we don't talk about hall passes. And Jasmine's like, okay, Nia, but you said Jamie Fraser last year because remember when he dressed up on Halloween as Jamie Fraser from Outlander? She goes, oh, yeah, okay. Jamie Fraser then, yeah, he's my hall pass. He's fictional, so he's my hall pass. And this somehow gets a flashback, not Danny's other behavior, but this gets one. So basically Jasmine helped out Nia by being,

hey, remember, here's a name you can give to shut everyone up. So Zach is like, if you end up in bed with Danny, by the way, because now Nia's going inside, she's like, I'm really cold right now. I need to go inside and put on a sweatshirt, which is her way of being like, if you end up in bed with Danny, by the way, cause now, now Nia's going inside. She's like, I'm really cold right now. I need to go inside and put on a sweatshirt, which is her way of being like, I'm uncomfortable with this hall pass conversation. And I need to check in on Danny to see if he's actually going to go sit in the sauna or something. So they're like, whatever, you better come back down here. So she leaves and then Brittany is

immediately like, okay, I mean, like, come on. We all know that he was drunk. Why she acting like that Mm-hmm and just like well he drove all the way out here just to go to sleep that makes no sense to me Yeah, cuz that no cuz that's not what happened jazz like well I think though that she knows how much she's drinking so you know just was like but but she's like oh, he's sleepy Yeah, okay. I'm not dumb. Just say know, he had too much drink at the winery. He needs to go to sleep. Okay. But everybody already knows that's what I don't, I don't really understand this because everybody already knows Danny's wasted.

And that's why he's in bed crashed out. So I'm confused. I think that her feeling is like, why is she keeping his secret that he's wasted? She's not, she's not saying he's not wasted. She's not saying anything like that. She's just saying he's in bed sleeping. Yeah. She's not saying he's not wasted. She's not saying anything like that. She's just saying he's in bed sleeping. Jared Saskar Yeah, I imagine that from Jasmine's perspective, she's probably thinking, you know, this guy is a real mess. And like, I bore the brunt of it. And then we got to act like kid gloves around him when I'm the one who actually was affected by it.

That's what I imagine. Pete Slauson But what are the kid gloves? Jared Saskar But that's my question. Pete Slauson By saying like… Jared Slauson What are the kid gloves? I mean, the guy's asleep. So if the guy was down here wasted, you'd be like, oh, here's Danny down here wasted. So isn't it better that he's like,

isn't it showing like more respect that he's upstairs keeping his drunk ass away from you guys until he sobers up a little bit? I think she's just like, why are we acting like, oh, he's just asleep because he's really tired from the kids in the driving. It's like, no, he's asleep right now because he got wasted, just say he got wasted.

I think that's what she's thinking. Like, why do we have to tiptoe around the fact that he's got wasted? He's just wasted, it's fine. I think actually, if anything, she's kind of agreeing with you in my mind of what she's saying, is that like, he's wasted, there's no big deal about it, but the fact that we're like not saying that he's wasted

is kind of like trying to protect him in some weird way. I think what I'm trying, I think what I'm, I know that she's saying that because like she's literally saying that, but I think what I'm, I think what's getting me is I'm not standing up for Danny, like I'm standing up for Nia because like, I don't think Nia has really done anything to them and they're like coming for Nia and I'm, I just don't really understand. Like she hasn't been like, Danny's not drunk. She is saying he's tired. He did drive to go to work and then drove all the way back. Santa Barbara is not close and they do have the three kids, but she's not saying that he's not drunk.

So I just don't, I don't know why they're coming for Nia. I say wait for Danny to wake up and then come for Danny's ass. Like Nia doesn't do anything wrong. Like Nia's not doing anything. Yeah, I think later on when they come for Nia, it's kind of like, okay, you guys are reaching a little bit now. Yeah, that's what I'm mentioning now

because it's kind of building from this. And I'm like, well, say it to her face, A, have the fucking nuts to say it to her face, and B, yell at Danny, what'd Nia do? She's just trying to keep it all together. Like, of course she's gonna wanna make her husband look not as like shit-faced as he and immature as he is. Like, yeah, I think that like, she's within her rights to like, yeah, to protect her husband

to be like, she knows that he's wasted. And she knows there's like an issue. And I think that she's like, within her rights to be like, like, yeah, I'm not gonna put my husband's shit out there in front of this table of people who are these are all like piranhas. But I'm just saying saying I think I know why Michelle, I'm not Michelle Jasmine is getting a little worked up right now. Less so for Brittany. Brittany is more like, okay, I don't want to be the only one in a shit sandwich right now.

So then we cut together working each other up. So that this is where that all starts. So they start working each other up. And then Danny's kind of awake. And she's like, Oh, I guess you're just catching up on sleep. You must be really tired guess you're just catching up on sleep, huh? You must be really tired. It's like, yeah, catching up on three years of sleep, three years of sleep under three years, under three years, under three, under three, under three. So he's like, why didn't you come get me?

And she's like, I did, honey. And he's like, Nia, no, you didn't. She's like, yes, I did. And it's like, Nia, oh, shut up, you drunk idiot. Just shut up. You've already gotten your wife in trouble. Now your wife is gonna have to go down there and deal with a bunch of mean assholes

because you're a drunk. So then Kristen's like, I don't even know what's going on. What's happening right now, seriously? And Jasmine's like, just say what it is. Just say, he's drunk right now. Yeah, he's drunk and that's fine. It's whatever. We were all at a winery. Yeah, but just say and that's fine. It's whatever we were all a winery

Yeah, but just say he's drunk and Chris is like what and Jasmine is doing I'm sick of this bullshit when people go like, oh, well, you're just taking a nap I mean, I know Nia comes from the pageant world and everything is buttoned up and perfect and I think that like right now She's trying to give that Miss USA answer like, you know, he's taking a nap But like really it's like girl, we know what's happening here. Just say what it is. Yeah. So, uh, Luke's like, well, he's fucking tired and Brittany's like, Oh, oh, he's tired. And Luke's like, yeah, he's got three little kids. I mean, I'm not saying he didn't drink, but like he's tired all the time. So he's sleeping and Kristen's like, so why

does she have to say he's drunk? Because he's tired and he drinks like What's the point? I'm with Kristen and Luke. I just don't get what they're mad about So Jasmine's like, but that's not what I'm saying Kristen Kristen's like, well, I'm confused So so Brittany's like, but I have to share my entire life and everything I'm going through but nobody else does Oh, that's funny. That's funny. That's fucking I'm sorry Brittany, but everybody's life isn't a fucking disaster like yours That's funny. That's fucking funny. I'm sorry, Brittany, but everybody's life isn't a fucking disaster like yours. Okay?

Yeah. Well, like, you don't have to get mad at everybody for not being a fucking disaster like you guys are. Okay? That's not fair. Just because you have, like, these meltdowns all the time and you're part of this, this, this shit show, like, you are voluntarily bringing this forward in front of people. So like, don't get mad because Nia wants to protect her husband a little bit.

So Brittany's like, I've noticed him not being genuine all day. Like little things leading up to this. I saw Nia calling him on the phone and yelling at him on the bus. And we see that flashback again. And then in the Uber when they're fighting the backseat. And then there's like, uh, Nia gets like snippy about him interrupting. And then she's, and then at dinner, he's trying to say, he's just tired from the get go, whatever. Well, that's fine.

I mean, you could definitely notice that stuff. But like, I just feel like if they're having issues and you're having issues, they don't have to present their issues the way you present your issues, just because you chose that's how you to deal with your issues. You don't say.

Right, because everything that she just said proves that they are putting their stuff on camera. She's like, she was fighting with him in the bus. Okay, well, that was on camera. She was fighting with him on the phone on the bus. Okay, well, that was on camera too. Like, so what are you saying that they're hiding? I don't really understand it.

I firmly believe that like, if they wanted to put it out there, like, they'll put it out there, you know, I shouldn't even say if they'll want it. It, like they'll put it out there. I shouldn't even say if they'll want it. It's all good. It's reality TV. They're just not fighting over it like Jackson and Brittany's toxic asses would. Like Brittany is acting like, oh, well we spent all last season,

Jack's yelling at me for being a drunk and me being crying and him not supporting me and me sobbing all the time. Well, why are you acting like you get a medal of honor for that? It's like she wants like a purple heart for being on reality TV and going through that when really it's just kind of tacky behavior

when you're on group vacations and you ruin every single one with your toxic fucking relationship, you know? So this lady's not hiding anything. She's also fighting with her husband. They're just not walking fucking disasters like you. Now, on the other hand, I know that Brittany's also just going through a lot.

So she's, I think she's just kind of freaking out here because she's going through stuff with Jax, texting her over and over again. Trey Lockerbie The one thing that Brittany has going in her favor is that she has this feeling of like, wow, when Jax texts me, Nia has no problem just weighing in and saying, oh, he's trying to manipulate you. She has no problem doing that. But then when she's going through shit, we're not allowed to know about it. And so I understand why Brittany may feel frustrated by what she perceives as a double standard.

But I also think people handle fights in different ways. And just because you handle your stuff, and extremely you and Jacks handle your shit in extremely public, loud, and tacky ways, doesn't mean that everyone else has to handle their bullshit and their dirty laundry in the same way. Some people don't like to air their. She kind of acts like her, her and Jack's acting like that publicly on television is doing us all a favor when it's like, babe, you're subjecting us all to your shit. You know what I mean? Like

you're subjecting all of your friends to your toxic relationship constantly. It's not a good thing. It's not something to brag about. It's gross. And Brittany would have a stronger like to stand on if she had said to Nia, hey, I think that like, it seems like Danny is hitting the bottle a little bit too hard these days. I know he's overworked and he's tired, but like this was a little crazy.

And then if Nia said, butt out, then Brittany could say, well, you had no problem butting into my situation. So I'm just trying to, I'm giving you feedback the way you gave me feedback. But she's not really doing that. She's just saying, she just sort of frustrated that Nia weighed in about the Jaxx techs,

and then, yeah, Brittany feels like she can't weigh in with Nia. Yeah, she's saying, you guys can be Mr. and Mrs. Perfect 24-7, but how are they doing that when they just fought three times on camera that you pointed out yourself? But my relationship's out in the open for everybody to comment over. Um, so yeah, we've already gone over that.

So she's like, it's not faggot. So then Jasmine's like, yeah, just say he's fucking lit. And Brittany's like, fucking idiots. And then Brittany gets up and I like when we see a little backstage, Brittany, like what Brittany is really like, like she gets up and she's like, I will not do it. I'm done. Fucking idiots. She's like storms inside. Yeah. So it's all becoming like more and more of a shit show and they're all fighting and I don't know. I'm lost in the nose. I know what happened, but I don't know where

you are. So you just keep going. So Kristen's basically like, why is everybody getting their tits in a twist over the smallest stupidest things? Like he's drunk, we're on a friend trip. Like who cares? Like who does, like when did we have, when are we gonna get a Vanderpump rule spin-off

and then people are not allowed to be drunk anymore? I'm like, what the fuck show is this? So she's like, I mean, did they even bring it up when you're still sitting at the table? No, they waited till she left so they could run their mouths together and get each other all amped up, which is, I can't believe I'm agreeing with Kristin constantly on this show, but that's what's making me crazy. You know, it's like they won't say it to her face, but now they're going off, like they're, you know. Anyway, so Kristin's like, okay, well, two things, Luke and Kristin are standing up for her. And Luke's like, but if he's lying about something, I mean, is that what you're saying?

And Jasmine's like, no, no, I agree with Kristen. Kristen, I agree with that. But let me tell you something, we know dark side Danny. And Kristen's like, huh? And she says, Jasmine's like, I get that Neo wants to protect him, but it's this whole playing naive thing, like everything's okay, and we're calling bullshit. You know, we can see it. And I've been a part of it. I know dark side Danny. So I'm triggered. Chris is like, I know Nia and Danny at their home with their children. And Melissa's

like, Jasmine, I'm walking away. Oh, so Melissa's big moment there. And she's like, God, these guys are crazy. So Nia's in her room with Danny and she's like tucking him in. He's like, oh, 300, 300, 300. And then he's like, goodnight Danny. And then Jasmine's all, she's now worked herself way up. Now she's like, I don't fucking care. If Danny, if Danny, he wants to take a nap. If he's drunk, so be it.

And Chris is like, literally every person at this table has been drinking. What's your point? Why can't everyone just fucking come and have dinner and enjoy it and have fun? And then Jesse's like, you know, you're yelling at nobody by the way. Well, I haven't said a word in two hours. Did you get it out? So now Zach pulls a Brittany. So he pulls me into a room and she's like, what's happening? And he's like, um, I have to tell you, like, I have to preface this by saying when you walk away, they were like, can we call spade a spade?

Can we just say, not say Danny's like, oh, like he's just saying he's tired or whatever. Like he's passed out drunk. Okay. Like, yeah, like he had alcohol and he's sleeping and he is like, yeah, obviously he's wasted. And he goes, okay, so you're not denying it. She's like, no, he's literally in bed shit faced. He's like, okay, so you're not denying it. And she's like, no, he's literally in bed shit faced. He's like, okay, well, there are several people

that are like your friend, your relationship so perfect and you play the perfect card. So. All of them, probably Brittany, highest of all, which I hate to say, but this is me exacting revenge over the fact that she talked to Janet about what I said. So I guess, unfortunately, I have to tell you what Brittany said just to get back at her. God, it feels good to settle old scores. Anyway, she was

going on and on about you. And you know, I just, you know, it's just saying these things, just like, not cool. And so he was like, wow, but like, just because your life is burning doesn't mean you need to be like, I would like your life to burn too. I'm like, true in real life. Yes. But this is bravo where unfortunately that is the way everything goes. They won't be happy until your life is burning up too. Everyone burns down. Oh, it's just gross, I don't get it. I mean, if they had sat at that dinner and Jasmine said,

well, I wanted to talk about this when Danny was here, but I'm still bothered that Danny got wasted and treated us like that at the party, Nia. Like, do you have any opinions on it? Or something. But to just wait and do it all behind her back and then attack her like she's done something is weird. So she's, I like when Nia goes, I'm so heated. It's like, yeah, you look it. She's like still smiling with her little Pashmina. And she's

like, why is everyone, why don't they say it to my face? And so she's like, okay, let's go, let's go find them. So now they can, they're walking through this pantry entrance to the kitchen, and they can hear Jasmine going off still about this. And Brittany's like, I mean, I'm sorry, but I can talk about my husband being in rehab. It's starting to really upset me. Like, that's fucked up. That's fucked up. But her husband's not in rehab, Brittany. Your life is a fucking disaster. You married a fucking disaster. Okay? It's been 10 years of listening to you and this shit, okay? You don't get an Academy Award for marrying the biggest asshole on the cast.

Yeah, exactly. And so, I think what's basically happened is that like Jax has been coming down on Brittany for like two days straight with these horrific texts, and he's made her feel like a shit person because that's what he does. And now she's kind of like, she's redirecting it all onto the situation straight with these horrific texts and he's made her feel like a shit person because that's what he does and now She's kind of like miss. She's redirecting it all onto the situation where she's like, I'm not a shit person

I'm a brave person because I put it all out there me is the shit person and it's like no No, listen, I think it's shitty that I think Danny has a problem and like I think it's shitty They came in here and I also think it's kind of shitty that he um He binged that tequila in the back pantry and then he slept through this whole dinner I was like what the fuck and so I don't care if you're tired like Like manage your alcohol and like be there with your friends and be there with your wife You know and now she has to tend to you and she can't even enjoy her dinner I think that's all fucked up, but I think that like Brittany being like no she has to be as

Emotionally as as out there as me. I'm like, no, she doesn't really have to be, you know, like you said, Ronnie, Danny is the one who deserves the shit. Yeah. Bring Danny out here and yell at him or go into his room and yell at him. Cause I, and yell at him for like ruining his, his wife's vacation. Because like, honestly, how much does that suck? The Nia now has to field all these questions for Danny's behavior. And she has to also spend half this dinner tending to him. And also, like, she's clearly uncomfortable about it. And she's and she and I guarantee this is not the first time that she's been in this position. So like, he should be the one getting the grief.

But since she's the one who's awake, she's gonna she's gonna be the one that's gonna get it from Brittany. So they come into the room and Zach's like, Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Like, just calm down a second. Things are very heightened today. Okay. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. Like just calm down a second. Things are very heightened today, okay. And Zach, you guys can't even talk about a little thing, nigga, not even a little thing. She's like, okay, well tell me what you want to talk about. Well, you can't talk about how he's drunk, obviously.

And she goes, okay, but he is, he is drunk. He's really drunk. But you wouldn't say it. She's like, yeah, I did. Like what secret am I keeping? He's shit faced. We were all at the wine place when he was down it." She's like, uh, yeah, I did. I'm like, what secret am I keeping? He's shit faced. We were all at the wine place when he was downing every glass of like,

of course he's drunk, what secret? And she's like, well, I'm just so much of, I'm going through so much. And so she's like, okay, so now you have to attack me cause you're going through something. And so what am I doing? No, no, no, no, no, no, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on everyone.

Like, yes, Jack. That's all I wanted to say was. So he is like, okay, what do you want me to do? And so it's not fair. I'm going through so much. My husband's rehab, my old friends. I can't even talk to my old friends. Like I have to act like she can't even, her eyes act like a rose,

and I'm drunk for one fucking night. No one acted like that. You fucking nutcase. So she's like, I just want her to be genuine. That's it. You don't gotta be perfect in front of us. Like you're okay to have crack sometimes. Stop thinking like that. That's why your husband's in rehab. Yeah. Also, Brittany, you're the one who was like giggling at dinner and giggling through all this. If you have, you're obviously harboring these resentments.

So who's the one who's really being fake here? So Jesse's like, wow, Michelle and I are the most sane people in this whole house right now. No, you're not. This doesn't make you more palatable, sir. You're just all fucking trash. My god. They're just drunk. You're actually awful.

Well, that was the end of the episode. I thought it was great. I know you didn't really like it that much. I think it may be divisive for this audience. I haven't seen what the audience reaction has been so far, but I just think it's, I think it's wild. It was very fascinating for me to watch, but either way, it's definitely, you can't say this show is boring at the very least definitely going on the Valley. Yeah, it wasn't boring. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us.

Our next show is Summer House Live in Vegas. So that'll be up on Friday. Hopefully, we'll see you guys tomorrow night in Vegas. And then in June, we will be in Seattle and Los Angeles to finish out our tour. So go get your ticket links over at watchwhatcrappens.com. Also our Patreon links, we have a three week road trip video bonus episode coming up. We put some GoPros up in the car and just talked nonsense for a long time, three episodes worth.

So this is a nonsense. Yeah. That's a special event going on on Patreon this month. And then starting June 3rd, we will be back with Love Island recaps over on Patreon. So go join up and we will talk to you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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