Watch What Crappens - #2845 Summer House 0914 Part One: Manicurveball!

Episode Date: May 16, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!It’s a near perfect episode of Summer House:  Lexie dumps Jesse, Lindsay hosts a freedom dinner, and Kyle learns about the ick!  So fun we had to bring it to Las Vegas!  You can listen to our bonus eps and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  Tickets for our North American tour on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondry and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it.

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. Who cares what happens when there's food I took off? Las Vegas! I haven't given you fuckers my money for four years.

I said sorry for whose foot I kicked. Oh, I thought you said sorry for whose food I took on the way up here. I was like, damn man, they fed us. It was a long walk up here. Wow, we are so excited to be doing our very first ever Vegas show. Yeah!

Woo! Vegas! I forgot what it's like to be in a town where men can have no arm strength and still wear sleeveless shirts. Yes. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you. Oh my goodness. I went in a rush to get off that airplane and walk into that airport

and look up and see, like, a four-story billboard for David Copperfield. And he's like, ooh. The icon. David Copperfield. And there's, like, a picture of him with, like, a dinosaur and, like, a blimp, and it's like, believe the impossible. What are you doing with that dinosaur and like a blimp and it's like believe the impossible what are you doing with that dinosaur in the blimp it's like the poor dinosaur is like one

moment i'm just like chasing around like a little animal next i'm on a blimp what the fuck dude i know be thoughtful with your magic yes we want like kidnapping That's like in the airport with all of the, watch out, human trafficking. What about the fucking dinosaurs? Who's watching out for him? It's 2025. Magicians have to be more considerate about the extinct animals they resurrect and put onto aircraft.

One time I came here, I was like 20, and we had a family reunion here for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. And my cousin brought like 20 and we had a family reunion here for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary And my cousin brought acid and we tripped I will never forget it We just tripped out the whole time looking at I saw all the white tigers in that hotel over there with all the moving With the moving carpet on blimps. Yeah, and I told one of those tigers, I was like, you're gonna kill a motherfucker one day. I'm sorry, that's dark.

That's dark. But I just remember tripping out, being like, why are people hanging out with these tigers? Cause they even come right up to the glass and they're like, I could fucking kill you, you fat fuck. Like, get over here. I'll eat your ass right now. Are they still there?

Whatever happened to those tigers? No, no. The tigers, no, yeah. Listen, everyone's like, it's been a while. Everyone in the audience is like, yeah, no, not the tigers. No, we don't talk about the tigers anymore. Yeah, I'm not making a joke about I was just curious. You know, it's like, you make a mistake. You make one mistake. Yeah.

Wow, we really picked a great weekend to be here. Electric Daisy Carnival, right? Yes! I'm sorry for my ass crack, and the one husband is gonna get the brunt of it the whole time. The EDM Festival, I met two gays on the way here because I was talking about the valley,

and they're like, oh my god, do you watch the valley? And I was like, fuck yeah. And he's like, is it god, do you watch the valley? And I was like, fuck yeah. And he's like, is it good, should I watch it? And I said, do you like watching toxic straight people ruin each other's lives? And he's like, yeah. Yeah. How good is the valley this season, by the way?

It's so dark. It's so dark, but like, I don't know, like just when it comes to the night and you get to sit there and it's like, Jesse, why did you do this to me? How could you call me a hooker, Jesse? That is disappointing. But it's the first time we've had like a hooker fight

where a husband calls a wife the hooker and she's like, no, I have got to prove you are a gay hooker. I was like, whoa! Oh, I know this is very unprofessional are a gay hooker. I was like, whoa! Oh, I know this is very unprofessional because I left my phone on during the show, but I just got three texts from Jax.

Sorry, guys. He says, how could you do the show right now and you know I'm going through stuff. It is crazy. How could you EDC without me? Oh! No, guys, Jax didn't text me. Sorry. See, while walking through the show, he's done it before.

Yeah. We did one show at South by Southwest and we were right in the middle of what a fucker Jax is seeing, you know? It was like, fuck Jax, I fucking hate Jax, that fucking coke head loser, nah, nah, nah. And Jax comes walking straight up there. This is a true story.

There's a photo. I heard you guys were talking about me. What do you want me to say about it? There's a photo of us sitting at this table and Jack standing over us and the two of us going like this. Huh? Ben's going like this. And I'm going like this.

I am an unabashed star fucker. I don't care who walks in. If they're from Bravo, I'm like, oh, my God, such a big fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah said it before I watched it, that this was an instant classic. This was an instant classic. This was an excellent episode. I was like, look I literally turned into Bethany Frankel. I got so excited. I'm like, I literally, it's like so good.

It's so good. I watched it. I literally was like, this is a 10 out of 10. Like from, 10 out of town. It is a 10 out of town. Get that 10 out of 10. Get that, Brutal X, get that 10 out of town. No, it is a 10 out of 10.

I watched it. I was like, from beginning toix, get that 10 out of town. Get that 10 out of town. No, it is a 10 out of town. I watched it, I was like from beginning to end, I was just like laughing. I loved every single second shred of it. I was so happy. We got our classic Lindsay.

Yeah. Thank you so, I would like to give a toast to Carl for ruining my time. Yeah, happy freedom night. I do have to say, I am very sad to have to report that we are on a little bit of a time crunch because I have a manicure in about an hour, so. I believe that though.

Do you guys think he was really getting a blow job? Who says they're getting a manicure instead of a blow job? That seems like a weird thing. Men. Jacks. But like compulsive liars would come up with better lies than that, right? Like I was getting a manicure. I believe him. I believe it or not, I do believe him but I

also still think Lexi should have dumped him, you know? Because like schedule your manicures at a better time. Yeah but Lexi did that shit like the Bachelor. She waited till the last good and she did it right at the beginning. So she has two episodes to hate on him. Yeah She she timed it perfectly. I was so proud of her I was like our little Lexi has gone from being like a like a like a empty plastic bag To a TV veteran, I mean, she's a veteran. A veteran. I'm annoyed with her like she's been on TV for 10 years.

I haven't told somebody to shut up that much since they've been on for like at least five seasons. Shut up! I don't believe you. You tried to turn me against Sierra on your Nick Viall interview. Don't fuck with me, Lexi. I'm on to you. The best part about yelling-

I'll give the rest of these people time to catch up. But by the end of next season, you'll be like, remember when Ronnie told us Lexi was a dick? I'll be here. Well, the best part about yelling at Lexi is that it's like four times as more impactful than anyone else. Because you know when you yell at her,

you're kind of yelling at like her sister, her mom and her dad at the same time. It's a real four for one special. You could just line them up all on the bed and say, clean your mouth. And you got every single one of them. The lip liner. Lip liner.

Lip liner. We haven't seen enough of the dad to know if he lip lines. He lip lines. I'll bet he does. My dad is so cool. He like lip lines in solidarity. Yeah. My dad's a cheer grandpa. like lip lines in solidarity. Yeah. Like my dad's a cheer grandpa, you know, my niece is in cheer.

So, you know, the dads show up to cheer. Do any of you have kids in cheer? You liars. You fucking liars. I know you're all lying. You know it's your dad because I'll show up in the full pink spandex outfit with like a glitter headband like my kids up there.

That's my girl up there. And that's Lexi's dad. I'll bet he like has solidarity lip liner. He's doing thunderstruck. What's the thing? Do you guys watch that Dallas Cowboys cheerleader thing on Netflix? Wait, what was that?

Dallas cheerleader what? On Netflix they had, well, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleader show, which has been on for like 15 years, but it moved over to Netflix. And so you're watching like boot camp and there just these like two older ladies were like alright girls today It's thunderstruck You're gonna jump up in the air and land on your crotch if you break your pelvis that's on you Get a stronger pelvis, lazy little bitch.

That's an amazing show. Oh, it's. Is that real? Yes, it is. You guys know, right? I'm not making this up. It is amazing. Oh, all the non-Cheer moms watching the cheer show.

Just innocently at home. Lying to me. I mean, this woman, just wait for Victoria. You'll just have a great time. Thank you to whoever said that. Thank you for backing me up. Okay, welcome to Watch Where Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo.

We love to talk about... All right. Oh, let me take... Hold on one second. I am... My notes are not up. I have the infatuation up for some reason The last restaurant in Pasadena

Yes Yes, Pasadena Yeah Big Lori little Lori big Lori little Lori watermelon capital Previously on The Summer Yard. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Guys, I've got an announcement. I've got a hundred million sperm. Yay. That Amanda doesn't want inside of her womb. Oh. On the bright side, I've impregnated a lot of socks. Socks.

I have an announcement too. I started a swim line for women with big boobs. All kind of big boobs, but like skinny women would like kind of big, basically me. I made bathing suits for me have you seen her swimsuits someone already was like I've got quadruple Q's and that girl swimsuits only go to a double D I was like Amanda just basically made her own size which Which I kind of love for Amanda.

She's like, I'm speaking out for all the women. Who are my size? My basic size. Hey women, sperm is dope. Jesse, Jesse, I want to talk about our relationship. Can it wait? I'm working on a Frank Sinatra R&B version of Papa Can You Hear Me? So, Sierra said you're a terrorist just trying to own my last nut by the way. Jesse if you want this to work you'll get in bed with me my mom my sister my dad

to talk about it. Yeah Jesse come to bed. Oh, hey guys. I think Lindsay's thrown some jabs about my soft, non-funded brick and mortar business because she's pretty merciless. She has to make herself feel better by pretending There's not a market for $20 non-alcoholic drinks with no demand But how's your sperm?

She's like smiling all the time. She's in a positive relationship She's working more than ever and she's getting the baby she always wanted. I feel bad for her. I pray for her. Girls, I don't think I can stay with Jesse. Five minutes later. Girls, I drove here with Jesse. I'm so in love with Jesse.

It's all gonna work out. Ew. Yeah, we had a long talk, and I apologized for my lack of communications. Oh really, is that all? Well I had to apologize to every single person in our family, so it took kind of a long time.

Had to keep it short. So you didn't apologize for being a two-faced, lying jack-o-lantern mouth fuckboy, wasting time, wasting gas lighter with a singing voice like air being slowly squeezed from a balloon blowhole. Oh, jeez. And scene. And scene.

And scene. And scene. And scene. And scene. Summer house in. You know, you never know how a season of summer house is gonna end up, but this one's ending up messy. And all the people saying, Lindsay can't be here with a baby.

Fuck, she can't. There's already a few in the house. Hand that baby a martini and get its ass in here. That baby will learn to read faster than any other baby. Let me tell you something. I was also one of those people that's like, well, she can't bring a baby into this house. But then at the top of the season,

when Lexi and Bailey walked in, I was like, okay, there's some toddlers here. That'll work. That'll work. So where we left off was on the beach, where Ciara's just kind of like letting Jesse have it, which is my favorite pastime. And Jesse's trying to apologize. And my favorite thing with Jesse is that

when he is like not smiling, his face turns into a trapezoid. And then he always looks like he's got sun in the eyes he's always like squinting and like blinking a lot he's like well why won't you accept my apology I don't really understand what's going on over here I'm like there's no sun in your eyes he also keeps his teeth in the smiling position, but his whole face is frowning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Frown lips with smile teeth is a weird combo. It is. It's really weird. So it's like, it hurts when you call me a two-faced liar. Like, I'm just like not... What? She's like, well, obviously we had like a friendship,

and I like, I take my friendships very seriously. And I like, don't call people my friends just to say that they're my friend. So like, whatever, I just like want to make sure if you say you're my friend that aligns and you're just not like a friend who aligns. I kind of don't ever know what Sierra's saying in situations like this,

cause she'll read you in like a paragraph, but not really say much. She's just like, well, yeah, cause like sometimes I'll have a friend, but then I don't call him a friend because if you have a friend, but then you're a while later, you know? And he's like, ouch, I just feel like you're mad at me.

Really? What makes you think this is Ciara? She's like... I just... I just... I just feel... I just kind of feel like you're mad at me right now. I just feel like, I don't know, Alexia was hearing a lot of things. I was just trying to get myself out of trouble without getting into more trouble. I don't know, are you still there? I can't really see the glare of your disappointment.

And Amanda's like, how Sierra? Does she look okay? Do you think she needs some guac or something? I can totally help her out. I just wish her a boom, sword, binger so I can help her with my gift. So Jesse's like, what? Then he does like a, like he clearly went onto the internet

and downloaded like how to apologize. He's like, I made a joke that I shouldn't have, and I think I can communicate better and be an adult. Oh, stop communicating. I hate that word now. He keeps saying, like, I'm sorry. I don't know how to communicate. You're a douchebag.

Just say, I'm sorry for being such a fuckboy douchebag. That's what you need to say. I'm sorry. I lie about you constantly. Say that. I don't know how to communicate. It's not your words, it's you. Fucking.

Sierra finally is like, I don't even care anymore. We can hug. Today hug. And then she's like, wait, are we allowed to hug? He's like, I think so. I think so, right? Tiffany's like, uh-uh-uh. Me first.

But I like that he's like, of course we're allowed to hug. And then they cut to Lexi just innocently drinking, but they make it look like... Yeah. Oh! Heh-heh. Heh-heh.

Heh-heh. Heh-heh. Heh-heh. It's hard to know where the beverage ends and the lip liner starts. So they hug, everything is fine. She's drinking herself, she can't find the right hole. She's like... Tiffany's like, I'll help. They're both like one bottle, They're both drinking from it. So everyone goes home. Everything's fine.

Next morning, it's 8.30 in the morning. Lindsay texts Gabby, she's like, you up? She's like, yeah. And they just get the hell out of there. Lindsay's like, I put in my time with Carl. I'm going back to the city. Thank you very much. And then in Paige's room, Paige is like, I need to talk.

And Amanda's like, really? You want to talk? Oh, you meant TikTok. OK. You meant TikTok. Thank you very much. And then in Paige's room, Paige is like, I need to talk. And Amanda's like, really? You want to talk? Oh, you meant TikTok. OK. You meant TikTok.

Ew, did you think I meant, like, talk to Craig or something like that? Disgusting. Paige is going to open up a better feeling. I don't have feelings. We go to West and Jesse's room, and he's like, yeah. I mean, I apologize to Ciara. It was heartfelt.

I mean, I said communication. So, Wes is like, I even got a boner from that. Communication. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.

So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery

app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Every successful business starts with an idea and on the best idea yet, we're obsessed with those light bulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the Frappuccino during his downtime, and then it got acquired by Starbucks. Or how Patagonia's iconic fleece was inspired by a toilet seat cover.

On the best idea yet, we dive into the untold origin stories behind the products you're obsessed with, and the bold risk takers who made them go viral. These are the wild ideas and insights that made Birkenstock the best selling sandals since Jesus. And made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention span. Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it.

New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor. I skipped ahead with the waking up early thing. There's important stuff to talk about here. It fucked everybody up. Look at them. What the fuck is happening in this? They're like, I could have sworn we were still on Saturday night.

Do they have a bagel yet? So Jesse's in bed with Lexi. And he's like, well, I think my apology with Sierra was really heartfelt and genuine and just off the job. And she just couldn't take it at first. And she's like, well, what did she say?, she's like, oh, what did she say? And Tiffany's like, yeah, what did she say? What, you're in here too, Tiffany?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, my sister's here right now. Her mom's like, Tiffany, you're interrupting again. Get back down here. Quiet, Mom.

Jesse's trying to have a moment before we have sex. So Lexi tells us, I really want everyone to be friends in this house. Really, I do. And you know, if he still wants to be friends with Sierra, whatever, go for it. But I have questions. What are they? I want to know what they are. What's a Nissan Sentra? Oh, okay. I thought there would be more specific questions, but that's fine too.

Do they come in like years of a hundred? That's a century, Lexi. So everyone gets into bed and Kyle and Amanda hear Jesse and Lexi talking and Kyle's like, hey, I'm mumbling what the hell's going on over there. Is anybody gonna celebrate my sperm? Right now. 150 million sperm going out right now.

So now they do go to sleep, and now they do wake up, and the next day, it's Sunday, Lindsay and Gabby drive off to the city, and then everyone's pulling out of the driveway, and Wes is, they're trying to coordinate something and Sierra's kind of like, oh, are you guys gonna be driving forward or backwards? And West is like, oh my God.

She asked me if I'll be driving forward or backwards. That's a good sign. Did you guys see the thing that was going around the internet? It was a shop that they actually aired and he's rolling over in bed but he put his boner up in his waistband. Yeah. And so this is his boner, you know?

Yeah, it reminded me of when I had hamsters growing up. Hamsters? Well, if you've seen a hamster get a boner, you never forget it. They have a specific look. Really? I had so many hamsters. I don't remember them having but... I remember their balls look like...

Or some part of them looks like a big butt, but it's like, is that their wiener? It might be their butt. I don't know what it is. Did you really have hamsters? I... Not only did I have a hamster, I had a hamster named Creamy. I really foreshadowed my career

talking about these idiots on Summer House. Well, that hamster was lucky it made it to an adult because those people eat their children. We had ham, me and my sister had hamsters, and they would have babies, and we would have like little showers for them, like, oh, my God, you're gonna have a baby. And then we'd celebrate it and stuff.

And then they would have the babies and she would eat the babies. Hamsters would make great real housewives. I like that the one baby named Creamy made it to adult life. I know, Creamy. Domino got eaten in his sleep. Well, that would make sense to you as a pizza. Damn it, I have a one track mind.

Creamy's like 150 150 million sperm, guys. They don't call me creamy for nothing. No famine here. Creamy's selling hamster lover boy. Lover hamster. I'll stop. I'll stop now. Sometimes things go to a place I don't know how to stop.

I'll stop now. How do we fix it? So I know how we do it. Let's celebrate medium-sized boobs. So Amanda is having a preview of her. Yeah. I'm going to come out with a boobs line. I said to.

I'm going to have like little tass for moods. This could be my town. I've been looking around the casino. These are my people. So like anybody else's nipples right about here. Yup. Come over here. This is a low nipple table. It's a low nipple table.

Donny Osmond. Donny Osmond. Donny Osmond is here. I know. I'm saying he probably has low nipples. Donny Osmond. So Donny Osmond, Donny Osmond is here. I know I'm saying he probably has low nipples. Donny's here. You guys saw Donny Osmond? Oh, yes, I'll bet you did. Donny Osmond.

Donny Osmond is still a snack. Okay, so Amanda, Amanda's having a preview for her swim line that's not coming out till February. Best time for swimsuits to come out, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. She says that she's having a preview event for my swim line to celebrate the big business venture.

And I was like, she's doing a venture about big business, my favorite movie. I was so excited. Now there's a swim line. Swim suits based on big business lines. Is the frogs ass water tight? So she's like this is a big step in my life making bathing suits for women who have medium-sized boobs and the line so she says the lines not or whatever. And she really wants people to see it so that way Paige doesn't say, CEO and founder of what?

She'll still say it though. She starts, she just laughs all by herself. And she's like, yeah. So then we see Jessie hugging Lexi, Lexi's sister, Lexi's mother, Lexi's father, Lexi's sister again. And then we go to Paige and Lindsay talking and Paige is like, wow, look at me, talking to you again. How's it going? How's your blood pressure? How's your heart rate? Did they attach one of those chairs that goes up the staircase that we get to this rooftop bar?

Has Antelope Lbsberry solved her murder today or have you not finished the episode? And Lindsay's like, Oh my God, Turner came over and built a baby grab. Paige is like, why? I'm having a baby. But why would you need a man that can build? Does he not have a TaskRabbit app?

He's very handy. I'm like, oh, they can do anything. Oh, oh, I need a soft crib. I said the baby's gonna fall out. Oh. It's not that I can't build a crib. It's just that I'm just writing an email coming up with bullet points about my plan

for how I'm going to build that crib when it comes to it. But I'm just trying to figure things out before we get to that crib stay. So it's pretty obvious. I've got a GoFundMe for $3.2 million. And when I raise that, I'm going to send the baby a hat and put a screw in the crib. The thing is, the question is, does this crib come with a good guy clause? Good guy clause. Good guy clause.

Don't worry about my business contract. It's signed to good guy clause. That's a good guy clause Guy Claws. Don't worry about my business contract. It's signed to Good Guy Claws. That's a Good Guy Claws. All right, so Wes is checking in with Jesse and Jesse's like, oh great, you know, like I went through a rough time relaxing, but I said communication a few times, so she banked me again. So I think it's all good.

We're back together. Yeah, you know, Sierra, you know, we hung out at the U.S. Open, just like, remind her that she likes to be my friend and stuff like that. Took a few photos, tagged Lexi in it so she gets super gel, and, you know, everything's going well. And then we see a clip of Sierra at the U.S. Open being like, here we are. We don't know what the fuck this is.

We're here having fun anyway, right, Jesse? He's like, yeah, what the fuck's the US Open? Eh. I didn't know his smile could get even larger than it already does until I saw that US Open photo. Like, did he just meet Andre Agassi or something? Why is he so, that smile's got, it's deranged at this point. How about the US close your mouth?

And the minute they showed that clip, I was like, oh no, they're in trouble because I don't care what Lexi has us all believing Lexi was not going to be OK with this. We know it. You know she has something else to do on a Monday night with Jesse and Tiffany and the mother. It's not going to be OK. So we go to Lexi and talking to the girls and Gabby's like, what's the latest with you and Jesse?

Do we need to beat him up or is he doing well? Like what's going on? And Tiffany's like, well, he did buy me and Mom tequila last week, so wait for me. That's right before we all watch the hooker get gang banged at the box three in the morning together. I still can't get over that. The mom and the sister and the dad

went with Jesse and Lexi to the box like a sex club in New York. It's not a sex club, it's a sex performance club. I didn't know what it was last week, so I'm excited to talk about it. It's very similar to the Donny Osmond show I hear. Just ask Brittany Bateman. That's the wrong Osmond. Did she tackle you, by the way, when you showed up there,

was she like, out of my way, bitch, this Osmond's mine. So then we go to Kyle, who can only make speeches when it's his own thing, because when it's Amanda, he's like, everything, everything. Amanda, I've always loved your boobs. And now the rest of the world can help ejaculate to them as well.

I've got the most sperm here. Amanda, take it away. She's like, um, hi. Are you gonna introduce me, Kyle? Hi, everyone. I made a bathing suit thanks to my friends at South Moon Under. No relationship to sewing down under,

down south, whatever it's called. Bathing suits. I've never been able to find a bathing suit that fit me, but now I can, because I made it. And I just hope that empowers women. Back to the drawing board, Amanda. All right, since Friday. But congratulations. Yeah. I'm actually, by the way, I think that All right, so it's Friday. But congratulations. Yeah.

I'm actually, by the way, I think that I'm really enjoying Amanda this season. I actually, I low-key think that she's having a really strong, not very intrusive, mental health storyline. And I just actually think it's really cool. I think that's great wording, actually. A non-intrusive mental health.

No, it's like, because I feel like with Carl, everything with Carl is like, hey guys, I went to Pinkberry today. I'm just taking it one step at a time. It's like a lot for me. It's rough for me. It's a lot. I had to call my mom, I was like,

should I go to Pinkberry? And she said, you could do it Carl, and I did it. And Amanda's here being like, yeah, I switched my meds. I got frozen yogurt today, so it was rough. I think Amanda's also like on a journey too, and she's just like, yeah, I'm just doing the work. And I'm switching up my meds, going to therapy. And my life is better.

I'm reprioritizing things. And I'm happier now. And I'm like, good for you. Good for you. Agreed. Amanda's like, I have glasses now. We're like, yes, Amanda. Amanda did it.

But also, I like your phrasing of non-intrusive storyline, because I feel like antidepressants are so good for us as people who need them. Or they're good for us. They are so bad for television. They are so bad. I mean, they rank right up there with sobriety. They're just things like,

they're things I support in real life, but not on television, don't do it. And she's doing it in a fairly good way. She's like, I'm taking care of my mental health. I'm like, actually that's working for you. Congratulations, I think that's a first on this channel. So now it's Friday, it's time to go back out to the house. It's the last weekend.

Woo, last weekend! So everyone's driving and Jesse and Wes are together and they're like, yeah, let's have a big weekend. And they do this thing with their hands. We have a boys' weekend? Yeah, boys' weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna experiment a little bit?

You wanna touch my taint? Yeah, boys' weekend. Hello, fellow children. Are we having a boys' weekend? Ha! You, you!. Are we having a boys weekend? Ha! You! Boys weekend, beast. Ha!

So Lindsay, Lexi, and Gabby are driving. And Lindsay's like, did you guys come out last night? Was it to a sex performance club? And Lexi's like, yeah. But I asked Jessie. I was like, one of my best friends is coming over, and we're just going to have some drinks with my family, of course.

And so I was like, are you going to come or not? And it was like 9 PM, and he was like, no. I'm going to get in manicure. And the girl's like, ah! I'm going to get in manicure! Ah! And she's like, yeah, my initial instinct was just like not to trust him. And Lindsay's like, yeah, I don't think you could trust a man who's getting a manicure

at 9pm at night. I'm like, what? I'm sorry. What's her boyfriend's name again? We just said it. Tanner. Is it Tanner? Tanner? Tanner? What is it? We just said his fucking name. I think his name is actually...

Yeah. Tanner's at home still figuring out an orange. I would not trust any man getting a manicure at night. And Gabby's like, what? Gabby's ready to jump in. And Lexi's like, yeah, I just like, Gabby's ready to jump in. And Lexi's like, yeah, I just don't trust anything that he says. So I'm like, you're so lying about this manicure. If I can't believe him about a manicure, can I really be with him for more than six weeks?

Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun. It feels like a Sex and the City moment, right? I couldn't help but wonder if I can't trust a man about his manicure, can I even bang him on reality TV anymore? It's just such a funny thing to cause a breakup. So. I couldn't believe you about your manicure.

I'm just not sure about us. Guys, I'm so tired. I'm sick of teaching this man. Like, I had so much patience. It's just gotten to this point where I just don't trust him at all. Well, if it helps, you've taught him nothing. You should probably just give up now.

It's not working. Gabby's like, so like, what's the plan? Do you think it's worth salvaging? I just need to know if we are all gonna be gathering around you while you're breaking up with him later this afternoon because I'm gonna call on everyone, okay? I just don't know how long this is gonna last.

He chose nails over my best friends and my mom and my sister and the box. So then we go to the boys and Jesse's like, aren't you just like so excited to be with, to be with Lexi outside the house? It's just gonna change everything. There won't be people to tell her what I'm lying about. So we'll have a longer time without fighting in the middle.

Yeah. This fucking guy. I just wanna know if getting your toes sucked in the fall feels different than the summer. Leave your digits alone for the rest of the middle. This fucking guy. I just want to know if getting your toes sucked in the fall feels different than the summer. Leave your digits alone for the rest of the season. Like, how many times are you going to bring your toes and your fingers into the season, you know? Is it like pumpkin spice in the fall?

Pumpkin spice toe? So, um, Lexi, that hurt. Lexi, uh, Lexi's like, you guys, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna pull him aside, and I'm gonna be like, we need to talk. Wow, girl. Wow, girl, you've come so far.

Gabby's like, get him. So, anyway, now everyone's arriving and Kyle walks into the house with a scythe, which I was honestly, I was like, if they do a fucking tie into Final Destination on this episode, I am so mad. I swear to God, I really thought it was gonna be a corporate tie and I was like,

if you somehow make Final Destination part of the storyline of Summer House, you actually are doing a great job. Well, I think they're having like a Halloween and Christmas party, sorry, Halloween and Summer party, right? Something like that. They show the previews and Lindsay is dressed as a handmaid from the Handmaid's Tale, which is perfect. That's so perfect.

Could you imagine getting assigned Lindsay as your handmaid? Oh my God. I mean, the people on that show get what they deserve, but oh my God. Switch out fucking June with Lindsay. I would love that. Because I love me some Handmaid's Tale,

but I just watched the season before this one all in a row, like, in two days, and that's a lot of rape and torture in two days. I was like, ugh. And it's a lot of June doing this. I'm like, tears. They'll be like, oh, and it's a lot of June doing this. I'm like tears. They'll be like, June, the train is coming. And she's like, my god, that girl can shake her face for an hour a week every week. Lindsay wouldn't she be like,

where is it then? Where is the train? Get the fuck off me, you long underwear motherfucker. You got a job? When was the last time someone had a baby for me? I feel like Handmaid's Tale could be like what you name Jesse's lie about the manicure. So Jesse is arriving at the house. Cause it's hand and that's a tail. We do occasionally like to recap. I don't know. We're a disaster. So Kyle shows up with a scythe and he's a scythe. He's like, bro,

I got a scythe. Guess who this is? And then Jesse goes, is it Amanda's? Yeah, Amanda Betul is walking around with a scythe. But he's like, she should be. She's been married to Kyle for this long. Jesus Christ, give her some kind of a weapon. But it turns out, it's like making it all the way to the end of video game and never powering up enough to get at least a fly swatter. I mean, Jesus Christ.

But it turns out the scythe actually belongs to Emeril, who has returned to the show. And what I love about the fact that this is Emeril's is he brought his own little arrow. You know, he'd just be like, he'd hold it there and be like, Emeril's friend. Just points. Ding!

So yeah, Emeril's there. And Kyle's like, this is Emeril's dying scythe. And she's like, yeah, I came to our apartment because he was taking his bike and like, he rang on our buzzer, but like I didn't know he was gonna be there. So like I opened the door and he was just like standing there with it.

I hid every bikini top I had in the apartment. So Emeril comes on his bike, he's like, yeah, Emeril. And then I was reading a thread that said, wow, my God, Emeril was cut out of another episode of Summer House. And I was like, you guys, he was actually in this one. He was there. He didn't say anything, but he was there.

Poor guy. So Emeril arrives in this like, yeah, I'm a motorcycle, I'm cool, I'm a man. And in comes Carl in this like yeah I'm a motorcycle I'm cool I'm a man and in comes Carl in his like soft like ice cream truck. Hey everyone ah does anyone want some soft humor ice cream? I love that he has a soft van. That's just so Carl. He's like, hey, you know, I am launching Softball and it is going to be an actual location. Once I raise $1.2 million. I've raised about $7 so far, but it's going to happen.

And we're doing mobile pop-ups to raise money. So this is like all I have in my life right now. I had this in frozen yogurt but I ate that the other day. It was a big step. It was a big step. Oh so it's all I have. It's all I care about. I mean it keeps me up at night. I really need to bring this to life. Well I hope people get really really into non-alg. Well it doesn't keep me up all night. It doesn't keep me up that much because I'm still soft, if you know what I'm saying. So like hello young people I brought baked goods, baked goods and sandwiches.

They're all soft. Soft sandwiches. Soft mindful sandwiches. There are functional sandwiches for people who might be pregnant or non-drinking. There are non-alcoholic sandwiches. I cannot wait to have special events at Soft Bar where pregnant women speak. Isn't that what it was saying? They're like, what's this good for, Carl? Pregnant ladies? It's like, yeah, I can't wait to have pregnant ladies come to Soft Bar. That was in the interview.

That was on Two Judgy Girls. Yeah. They were like, so Carl, what are you going to do at your bar other than have soft drinks? So he brings us an interview that was on two judgey girls. Yeah, they are like so Carl who's your what are you going to do at your bar other than have soft drinks? He's like we're gonna have special events. You know like people who don't drink. I'd love to have pregnant women there. Maybe speaking.

They're about like it wasn't a video. I could just hear it but I could. This is the noise I heard. Hey, does anyone want to go see Beyonce tonight? Oh no, sorry. There's a pregnant lady talking about how she avoided sushi and cold cuts for nine months at soft bar. I'm going to have to go for that instead. The presale's just starting.

Commercials, here comes one right now. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it.

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the big flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the big flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus. So messy ass Amanda sees Carl come in with baked goods and she's like, Oh guys, we should talk about it.

Did anybody see Lindsey's Instagram post? He's like, Oh, well, I didn't see it because I'm not on Instagram. So I don't like see Lindsey's post, but I was sent that I was sent that. So you saw it. Well, I didn't look at it though. I was like, Oh, but I was sent that. And Jesse sent it. So you saw it. Oh, I didn't look at it though. But I was sent it. I felt it more than anything. It was like audio Morse code.

Audio Braille. It was audio Braille. I felt it. Soft forward. Soft transition. Ow. Jessie's like, hey, you saw it. That means you weren't blocked.

What a difference a year makes. Lindsay's post chronicling her ear was amazing. It was like, well... Exactly one year ago today, and she's, like, holding toothpaste by her mouth like... Yeah. Colgate. I had the most distressing thing of all time

happen to me when my dream man dumped me in the altar and left me all alone. It was humiliating, but little did I realize it would lead to all the best things happening in my life. For example, the very next day, Timeline Bullet Point 2, I went into CVS and my toothpaste was on sale. I got a FabFit fun box in the mail

and it had a scarf and lipstick. November through 2024, I went to the gym and I got the third best parking spot. I am the new Lara Croft and Tomb Raider. It's like... What? I like stink now. So thanks, Carl. I never liked stink before Carl dumped me.

It's like 10 pages of Lindsay. Some of it's real stuff she's accomplished. She's like, I booked commercials. I've been in three Oscar award-winning films. I learned to drive a bicycle. I've been in commercials. I've been in three Oscar award-winning films. Yeah. I learned to drive a bicycle. Like, it's just like random shit. She's like everything.

It's like, I went to Jersey Mike's and had a lovely sandwich in honor of my thing, which is sandwiches. And then I went to Jersey and I met someone named Mike. It was a great day. I have not shaved one back this entire year. All right. So it's good. And so Carl's like,

what the fuck? It's a goddamn novel. What the fuck, Lindsey? And then West... Carl's so wasted in the day that he's just blinking like... And then West of all people goes, I mean, you'd think that like I found that I'm pregnant in April would be enough, but there's like two magazine covers. Says the guy who went to the New York Times twice to say he doesn't know where he stands with Ciara. I don't think so.

Why is being pregnant enough? I'd be more proud of the magazine covers. You can be proud of the baby the rest of its life. Yeah. Those magazine covers have dates on them. So in the car, Lexi's like, Oh my God, Lindsay, now that we're best friends, I just want to say that post was crazy that you did.

You had so much engagement on it. And she's like, Yeah, I'd like to acknowledge that this was probably the most impactful day of my entire life that changed the course of the rest of my life forever forever forever and forever and ever and forever and forever. Yeah, so I'm gonna host the dinner. I'm calling it the Freedom Dinner. Because it set me free and now I can pursue everything I pursued this year and all my dreams are coming true and I don't even have to pay off this Kia because it was given to me for a Spongon. So suck my dick Carl."

And Gabby's like, wow, so Lexi's coming for Jesse, you're coming for Carl. It's a hard weekend for peonesses in this house. So meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Carl has something to say. He's like, well, I mean, if that's what you have to do to put your story out there, like, well, I mean, I mean, if that's what you have to do to put your story out there, like, well, fine, like, I'm sorry, but like, where you put your something out like so much, like so much detail, it like screams like something else is inside you,

like something very deep and like dark in your body, and it's having a really hard time to deal with, like what the actual fuck, it's Lindsay, she's always been like that. And you dumped her too. She's allowed to have a spiteful pass of aggressive posts. He's like, yeah. You dumped her.

He's like, there must be something really deep and dark within her body that makes her post on Instagram. I mean, it is dark, okay? I think she's having a really hard time with the reality of what actually fucking happened. No, she's not. Here's the reality. Some loser that she was propping up for years

had the nerve to dump her ass. Yeah! And now she's doing better than she was with said loser. Yes. That's it. She can post about that on Instagram all day. That's right. Why do I have to hear your sob fucking story every god day on Instagram?

Carl. I'd rather read hers. Carl who gives his timeline every single episode. Well it's been like four days since I had a yogurt and I'm just like taking it one step at a time. Like. I felt things. I felt things this week.

Let me tell you. This is the first time I went out to a club and ordered water. It was really rough. It's been a rough time. So, uh, Gabby, so they all come in and they're all hugging except Lindsay and Carl. Carl's like, oh, oh. I gotta use the bow. This is my angry about Instagram block. So, um, so then I love this moment. Oh my God, I love this little moment because Wes goes up to Lindsay.

He's trying to make small talk. It'd be nice. He's like, oh man, I just read your timeline post. Yeah, you did. Were you gonna say something about it or just say that you read it? I saw it. Yeah, any notes, any feedback, any thoughts?

Well, I didn't really see it. So you read it but you didn't see it you read it, but you didn't see it, but you saw it, but you didn't read it. So how did you read it if you didn't see it? Like, did someone read it to you? Like, is it released on audiobook? Like, what the fuck was that? I wanted to acknowledge that it existed, but like-

What's your point? I don't really even know your point. Why don't you go bite your lip in a corner where somebody can pretend to understand you and keep your dick in your pants this is a television show. It's really hard for me right now. Okay whatever. A year from now I'm gonna post it has been a year since some douchebag in the kitchen said that he read my thing without seeing it. If he thought he was going to acknowledge that she wrote that big ass thing and not be like, and I agreed full heartedly with what you said, you were sadly mistaken because

she will destroy you. Yeah. Oh, hey, Ben, I heard your episode of Watch What Crappens the other day. Oh, you did? All right, good to see you. Yeah. Just don't say anything. Yeah, don't say anything. Yeah, don't.

So Jesse's like, Jesse's offering to help with bags and you know. So outside Kyle, they're all sitting there and Wes is sitting there and Kyle's like, hey, so I heard you asked Lindsay about that Instagram post. Yeah, I mean, I went up to her and I was like, saw your post and then she got mad at me because like I saw it but didn't read it, but then I read it but I didn't. What the fuck? Why does everybody hate me in the zone?

And I love, Kyle goes, dude, you can't just casually do that. I don't know. It's like Wes said that he decided to try to tame a bear. I'm like, dude, you gotta have training if you're gonna deal with Lindsey, Ben. It's a lot. So inside, it matters like, well, I saw your post're gonna deal with Lindsey, Ben. That's a lot. So inside Amanda's like, well, I saw your post.

I mean, I'm sorry. I read your book. That was funny. That was a good one. That was a good yes and. You can get wet, fake mouths. Even Amanda can do it. Yes and.

So she's, and she's like, um, Lindsey, I thought we were done with timelines. She's like, no, Lindsay, I thought we were done with timelines. She's like, no, we still have passive aggressive timelines. Those are allowed. She's like, I'm sick of doing timelines for the future. Now I'm only doing timelines in the past. So then Lindsay and Lexi are like, Lindsay's like, Let's go back to a time before Carl had hair on his upper arm.

I'm not sure that time ever existed. I think he came out of the womb with hair on his arms. So you know he did. So, hey, mama. Hey, who did? Wawa. So Lindsay and Lexi are whispering in the kitchen. And they're talking. Lindsay's like, how are you feeling?

Are you going to rip Jesse a new asshole? Could you do it right now? I'm still awake. And she's like, I don how are you feeling? Are you gonna rip Jesse a new asshole? Only could you do it right now. I'm still awake. And she's like, um, I don't know, like, when to do it, but, like, I'm gonna go up to him, and I wanna be like, I have feelings about things, and then I wanna see what he says to that. And outside, the guys are talking

about lighting a fireplace, and Kyle's like, yeah, we got some wood, And Jesse goes, Lexi wood. And even Emeril's like, okay, you sicko. Even Emeril's like, that's a bit too much. You need to pull it back a little bit. Hey, everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch What Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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