Watch What Crappens - #2850 Love Hotel 0104 Part One: Ashley Has a Senior Moment

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!In the wake of veggie-gate, Shannon seeks greener pastures on Love Hotel.  Meanwhile, Ashley and Ralph explore their connection, which really only boils down to him being a daddy and her being a hottie. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondry and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it.

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. Hello and welcome to watch what crap, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkirch and joining me today, the one and only Ronnie

Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Hello, how are you today? I am just fabulous. And today we're talking love hotel before we get into that. First of all, thanks so much to Jeff Lewis live for having us on today. Uh, earlier this morning, if you missed it, go check that out on serious XM or their podcasts. We always love going on there and we haven't had a chance to get on since we

started our tour. So it was wonderful to reconnect over there. So thanks again for having us on. Also speaking of that tour, you can come see us for our final two shows by getting tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. We are going to Seattle on June 12th, and we're gonna be here in LA for the grand finale on June 19th.

So please do join us for those spectacular final shows of our 2025 tour. Also, if you go to patreon.com slash watch what crap happens, you get access to things like our bonus episodes. Uh, we currently have some really fun bonus episodes up right now about our Texas road trip where Ronnie and I drove from Austin to Dallas, uh, about two weeks ago and we had a lot of fun doing that. So check that out. And for the first time ever, we did one of those road trips with a video as well.

There's a video component. And if you wanna watch a video of that or of any of our shows that we record, you can sign up on the Crapins On Demand level and not just listen to us, but you can also watch us too. So that's at patreon.com slash watch our Crapins. And that's all for that.

Now let's dive in to some love hotel, Ronnie. What say you? Ronny Weisberg Love hotel. Ronny Weisberg Still loving it. Ralph is having the luckiest time of his life. I'm glad Ralph is as confused as I am. I mean, I think Ralph is cute and everything, but they love Ralph. Every lady loves Ralph. Ronny Weisberg They love him. They love him. I don't know why. I mean, I guess he is handsome, but they really are, they're all about that Ralph.

And I guess that maybe he has a confidence and a swagger and that really goes far. Because if you ask me on paper, I think that like Wale is the hottest guy. You could even make an argument for the guy that Ashley dumps at the top of the episode who talks like three times. He's also really hot.

But in terms of like confidence, Ralph has more of it than Wale. Wale is sort of passive aggressive and... But is it confidence or is it just exhaustion? Like I'm getting exhaustion from Ralph. I'm getting like, yeah, great. I think people are taking exhaustion for confidence, which I wish would work for me.

Yeah, it could be that. Also, you know, he ignored Ashley really for the first part of the show, so that could work. She loves a daddy. There's that too. Yeah, she does love a daddy. I don't know how he'd get it though. I don't think Ralph is-

Yeah, but let's see. Let's jump in. So he's as confused as everyone. He's like, so they're all after me. He's like, here I am, day's confused. I don't. Yeah, but let's see. Let's jump in. So he's as confused as everyone. He's like, so they're all after me. He's like, here I am. Days confused. I don't know which end is up. What the hell's going on?

I'm exhausted. And Wale is like, what the hell? How am I competing with some 60 year old tired person? Yeah. But Wale also, you're on a dating show and like he acts surprised that the girl that he's interested in is like talking to other people. Like it's just the way the format works. And he knew that going into it.

So they're sitting at the table and the man's like, good morning guys. Cabrists are coming through. Wait, where are the women? Did you eat them all alive already for breakfast? That's going in the show. So she's like, all right, listen, we're not here to argue and fight, right? We're here to find love. So I can't wait to hear what Earl has to say for himself.

Earl messed with Shannon. It's like these old ladies don't realize no matter who Shannon is with, this is the kind of relationship she's going to have because it's Shannon. Okay? Shannon could be checking out at a Home Goods and they'd be like, oh, hey, did this have a price tag? Did you, a price tag? What do you mean is there a price tag? How dare you ask me if that,

is it my job to have a price tag or is it your, did I forget a price tag? Are you calling me stupid? Well, can you tell me exactly what you said? Did you talk about price tags so I can understand better so I can help? And Earl is like, well, there are moments where she'll look at me and say, does there, do you see a price tag? And I'll better so I can help. And Earl is like, well, there are moments where she'll look at me and say, does there,

do you see a price tag? And I'll say, I don't see a price tag. And she'll say, why don't you look again? Because I have a price tag on here. And I go, you know, and I'm like, I don't see it. And she goes, you don't remember what I told you about the price tag. It's like, it's very complicated. It's pretty funny because Earl's trying to explain how Shannon is to somebody who already knows how Shannon is, but she's a good girlfriend, so she's pretending none of that's happening.

So he's like, you know, there's moments where she'll look up at me and just go, you don't remember what I told you? And she's like, well, I don't know what you mean. What do you mean? Shannon acting crazy with a man, never seen it, never heard it. Completely normal, normal blonde lady. And we do see a flashback to something I didn't really think that was that big of a deal.

They're walking on the beach and he says, so what's your favorite location you stayed in? She goes, oh, I told you already, you don't, do you not remember me telling you? I mean, that is partly her just checking your cognizance. I mean, this is a golden bachelor. You know, you got to see how many battery, how much battery is left.

Do you need to get run to the store to get some AAAs, you know? So Earl's like, and then yesterday with the vegetable thing, it's so silly. It's just so silly. You know what's the silliest of all? Women with their issues. They're just so, we'll have fun, stupid little trifles. Anyway, I said, I don't like vegetables. And she goes, you don't like vegetables, you know?

And then she whipped her head, turned turn around like this like a monster like a like a three-headed monster a hydro looking at me a hydra That just wanted to eat vegetables and it was horrifying and it triggered me and while I was like well It wasn't about your voice is about your body posture. Did you try to guilt her say something passive aggressive to her? Come on really strong and then make her feel really bad about her choices for the rest of the evening. It kind of works well for me. It's your body language. Let me teach you. What does this say?

I don't know. You're trying to hail a cab. I'm a star. That's what it's saying. A star hailing a cab. Partial credit. So you could have happy for that one, Earl. All right.

Listen. You don't take an Uber? And he goes, well, you know, I mean, if you look at it correct. So, you could have happy for that one, Earl. All right? Listen. You don't take an Uber? And he goes, well, you know, I mean, if you look at the whole gamut of our relationship,

we've been together for 37 years. This is just a blip. All right, it's a blip, but it's a large blip. It's a large blip, darling. Yeah, I mean, like it may be a blip, but you've only known her for four days. So proportionally, a blip, but you've only known her for four days. So proportion, proportionally a blip is taking up a large percentage of your time knowing her. That's

not a good thing. So Ashley's walking outside with Jason, Jason's his name. And she's like, Hey, can I talk to you for a second? You know, last night was like a little shocker for me. And he's like, Well, I'll be honest. I felt like I was just being open and transparent with you about who I am and my past and where I've come from. Yeah, and I respect you honestly, immensely. Well, thank you very much. Yeah, of course. Now it was my pleasure.

So we didn't see that. We didn't see what they're talking about. So we get a flashback now and he's like, oh, you know what's funny? I was in a threat. He's like, you know what's funny? I was in a trouble. And she's like, oh my God, wait, your girl had a girlfriend? He goes, yeah, actually that's how I met him. They came to me and she's like, oh my God, wait, your girl had a girlfriend?

And he goes, yeah, actually that's how I met him. They came to me and she's like, wait a minute, how long were you in that relationship? I'm Ashley Darby, other people having throuples? Oh no. Oh, please. I was in it for eight months actually, I think, but since it's a throuple,

it's really just like four and a half months because you add extra time to it, right? Or do you ride it at the time? I, um... First of all, just getting back to what you said about how we didn't see that, I have to say I want to give a shout out to the editing on this show. I think it's actually really amazing because they kind of are cutting out a lot of the stuff we don't need to see, you know? We sometimes on these dating shows, they give us endless scenes of, of, of courting whatever. And there's like part of me that like really wants to see some of these

conversations, but I'm also really appreciative that they just kind of breeze through a lot of it. Like later in the episode, especially we sort of just see a whole day pass and we see brief snippets of conversation and then some kissing and we can kind of like fill in the gaps. And I, I kind of think it's pretty great. So shout out post production team on the Love Hotel. Shout out post prod. Shout out Final Cut Pro. Shout out Appa Motion.

Shout out USC Film School for teaching skills. Shout out Microsoft Paint. Shout out NotGale because my voice slowly turned into Padma. So Ashley's like, oh no, a throuble. Well, I think it takes a certain kind of personality to be in a relationship that way. And by that, I mean, whore, you're a whore. And he's like, well, I made it clear

that that's not the direction I'm going in. So, you know, throuble over. And she's like, well, I made it clear that that's not the direction I'm going in. So, you know, trouble over. And she's like, but I mean, I'm not judging you. It's just that in my previous relationship, we were in a sort of similar situation, occasionally allowing other partners into our relationship. And you know, it's really difficult when you're trying to fight with two people about kangaroo meat possibly not being profitable in a business.

So, he's like, yeah, but one thing I would like you to consider is the fact that you're in a threeple with an old skeevy man, and I'm a young hot man. And it's like a young hot threeple is very different experience. So I think you should be open to it. It's not two women trying to make a man's penis work. It's two women getting to play with a working penis. That's how he needs to sell it. You know? Yeah. He has to be like, look, it's like,

it's you like saying you're never gonna drive a sedan again because you drove a, like a, like a, like a Yugo, you know, like, give it a try. Try, you know, try out a Subaru. I mean, in the situation you were in, there were two women being grossed out by Michael. And in this situation, there's two women not being grossed out.

So, you know, give it a chance. It's a different road. Yeah, this is a much hotter, hotter throuple upside, you know? So- God knows who they even got to fuck Michael. I mean, my God, like who was that in the throuple? You know, you know those were some hideous throuples. I'm sorry. Yeah, that was a set. There was a lot of sadness in that. There was a lot of generational trauma

that like culminated in that throuple. Whereas with this guy, it's just hot people banging. So I don't know, be open to it, Ashley. Yeah, but yeah, I wasn't sure. Did he say it was two women or did he say like maybe it was? He said it was, I think he said it was two women. He said that they approached him, right? Yeah. But did he say women? You know, he may not have said that exactly. If he was, if it was a husband and wife, that's, that's wow. That's, that'd be very,

that's very interesting. Yeah. I would say that. Yeah. You know. Some people do that, yeah, you know, there's some swing in, but you know, it's a different allowance in a relationship, right, for Ashley, so I don't know, I'm not sure. So she's like, that triggers me. Listen, you having throuples triggered me too, because it meant somebody else was subjected to Michael.

So we're all triggered. No, you know what's triggering? Michael Darby. And she's like, I feel like a hypocrite, but like, what else can I say? I feel like I could be something that Jesus could do again. And I just don't really wanna risk that as being a part of it anymore.

Oh, please. So Ashley's like, yeah, it's a real sensitive thing. It's a trigger. He's like, well, you know, you and these church chaps, I mean, you're gonna tap me to the wayside. And she's like, oh, I don't really get that, but it's not church. Yeah, she just gives him like a, like little kind of

hug shoulder tap instead of a real hug. She just taps him. That's what it is. So then we go to Shannon's and she's very much still in her, I like boats, I'm dressed like a sailor. And so- comes over. Say it again? Some John Jansen residue.

Yeah, well she had that before John, right? Where she's like, oh, look, I live in a house that's a farmhouse sailboat. That is the- You're right. Shipwreck, I'm bringing the ship back to shipwreck. That's the decor. Am I turning the boat or turning on the kitchen sink? Who knows?

I want a house that has ship lap but also feels like a ship that I can run laps in. So Earl comes and he's like, hey, how are you? Can I give you a hug? And she's like, well, I mean, this is a very carb heavy meat heavy hug. It would have been a lighter hug with a little romaine in your system. She's like, well, thanks for seeing me. You know, I know you had a horrible day and yesterday I made it worse and I am so sorry. She's like, well, I just don't understand why you got so angry at me. That's all I mean.

All I did was bulge my eyes at you and scream, you don't eat vegetables? Oh my God, what sort of monster are you? And I don't understand why that elicited such a negative response from you. I love that Shannon never understands what she's doing. She's like, I, I, I, I, I, I just, I, I, I, why were you so mad? What could I have done? And he's like, honey, I'm used to handling conflict with someone I care about privately. And I just got hypersensitive and embarrassed because,

you know, one minute you're smiling at me and the next minute you're blinking your eyes and repeating small words over and over again and kind of confuse me. You're like a, you're a verbal strobe light. Does that make any sense? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I didn't laugh or smile while I did it. Oh man, let me tell you, you know what's a trigger for me?

I learned that from the kid on the beach, triggered. But I'm triggered, let me tell you, funniness, okay, humor, teasing, okay? Now you don't know this about me, but I had a really bad childhood, so I don't like loud voices, I just, and vegetables. One time a Brussels sprout yelled at me, so I can't be around vegetables or loudness.

Well, I mean, but when other people at the table are talking about it, Earl, and we see a flashback to their fight and Giselle, Phil and Giselle are noticing and Phil's like, well, we might have to go do some refereeing over there to my left. And Giselle's like, yes, sir. I don't want to make a scene of it or anything. Oh, I'm going to make a scene, nah. So Shannon's like, why don't you, it just,

it just, it bummed me out. And I didn't want to get everybody involved, which is why I very quietly said, this man over here does need vegetables. Why is he on this television show? Could someone get that concierge? I didn't want to get anyone involved except the manager. Which is why I called that very wonderful man

who never delivered my artichoke dip over. And I said, please have this man removed. He's abusive. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Shannon, your flashback is just a little too loud for me and I'm having some, I'm having some hard time with some trauma. Okay.

Quiet voices only please. Well, yeah, you know, that really bumped me out and I just, I don't like, I don't like how emotional I got it. It really bumped me out getting so emotional. So I hope you can understand. I really beat me up getting so emotional. So I hope you can understand. I really beat myself up. Yeah, I, Earl, if you'd like to say something like you did not get emotional, that'd be nice.

No, you don't want to say that? Okay, that's fine. Well, I just feel like- I already said triggered. I don't know what else I could say. I mean, triggered. I was triggered. You're a lady strobe light, and that's very difficult for me.

Oh, you want to hear a strobe light? Let's hear a flashback to me in 10 years ago. Don't you understand that people, those people are biased, no, this husband is, no, they're doing horrible to me. They are, let's calm down. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my

friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming

and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery

Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it.

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the big flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the big flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus. All right. So now everyone's gathering in the main lounge and Joel's here.

He's like, all right. Buenos dias everybody. Listen, I got five more minutes before I get onto a FaceTime with Bowen Yang. And we talk shit about YouTube. So come on, let's get this going. So look at Ashley straight out of an aerobics music video from the 80s. I was like, no, that's not that she's in beige. She's in like a a tasteful beige, sir. You don't know 80s aerobics until you've seen Rhonda Caram leading a group at a Civic Center aerobics concert

in fuchsia. Okay, folks. So I guess how was your romantic date under the stars? Oh, well, you know, I don't know really why the line chef at the hotel restaurant is asking me these questions, but I guess, you know, it's nice to have someone else. So I'll just say it wasn't the best. It was emotional for me. Yeah.

Oh, yes. There's a little elephant in the room called Earl. Earl the Pearl. They had a moment last night that didn't sit well with me. Earl, I need to let you know that last night I was very much like Earl needs to go. It's not my place because I didn't want to, because I didn't give you a key, but I don't ever want to be on a rooftop looking across the way and seeing my girlfriend crying Well, good luck with that. You're standing next to Shannon Bador. She'll be crying a lot. Yeah, that's a fair point. Ah, listen Earl

The only people I want to make my girlfriends cry is me. That's my job And I see a woman sitting across from me sobbing and begging for pity, it's because I caused her pain. Do you understand?" He's like, sorry, I was triggered. I was triggered. Someone tried to make me laugh. I'll tell you. I still go to therapy over King of Queens.

It really killed me. Laiaramani, more like I need a laiaremity. So he's. So. Wait a minute, were you just teasing Leah Remini? All right, got me there. You know what? I have a hard time talking about Leah Remini because she looks a lot like that slut on the beach with David Bedour.

So Gisele's like, look, I pray that everyone gets the memo that that's unacceptable the way you talk to Shannon. And then she goes, and that's where we draw the line. Although then like five seconds later, she's like, and that's why Earl needs to stay. I was like, wait, I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.

I was just saying things that sounded good. No one better makes Shannon cry. I'm stealing Shannon's man in the next segment. Joel's like, Earl, where are you at? Well, it was a really big growth moment for me. You know what else grows? Vegetables. Okay, well, when it happened, I wanted to run.

Well, and for all of us ladies, there have been moments where we wanted to run too. And guess what? We stayed, we followed through, and we kicked you guys out, we made you guys run instead. And you know what? It shows how much courage it is for you to stay. So we draw the line that you be making Shannon cry,

but wow, how courageous for you to make Shannon cry. Good job, Earl. Hey, center man, where you gonna run to? Hey, center man, where you gonna run to? That's right. Nina Simone, not a runner, not a runner. Run away, run away, run away and save your life. Run away, run away, run away, save your life.

That's right, generic dance song from the 90s. You're welcome. Run to your mama's and run to your daddy's run to your sisters and run line. I'm sorry, Florence and the machine always gets me. All right, carry on with the show. Joel's like, well, I think it speaks volumes that you were able to have this conflict. But now that you're sitting here next to each other on the couch, that's amazing that you're able to sit where we told you to sit. Now onto the business of the day.

When we're dating, sometimes you can meet a guy that doesn't seem like he's for you at all, but ends up being the perfect match. Can we just get to what they have to do for the day? I don't have all time here. Okay. Hold on, hold on. I have a Bravo joke.

Guys, at the end of the day, you got nothing for nothing. Like a She Buy Sharae show, it just never happens. Really a She Buy Sharae joke? How dare you? And She Buy Sharae has happened. That was a funny, that was a, that was a, the lion cook made a very funny joke. Um, uh, Earl, could you please explain that joke to me?

I didn't get it. What is she by charade? So today you'll be taking an excursion away from this beautiful place. Louann, who are you want to take him on your date? Well, James made me laugh. I like him. James, do you want to go on a date with me, big boy? What I would love to go on a date with you, girl.

All right, come on. Let's do it. Come on. Yeah, we to go on a date with you girl. All right, come on, let's do it. Come on, yeah, we're going on a date. I love my life. I love my life too. This guy is a total dork. Who looks at, who talks to James for five minutes and is like that, I'm fucking that guy on camera.

That's who I'm gonna fuck. Lou Ann and James, they're like a weird couple. I feel like you'd meet in Key West or something, right? Yeah, you wanna come back to our place and sing some songs. He'll get on guitar, I'll get on the mic and you can play the bongos if you know what I mean. My bongos, I mean my boobs. And you can play the bongos if you know what I mean. My bongos, I mean my boobs.

Play me James, play me daddy. So Ashley chooses Wale because she's already had time with Jason and Jason's a whore. So she's choosing Wale. And she's like, yeah, I went to Jason, but great guy. Just not really for me, you know, and Raph and Gisele are vibing, so I guess I'm going to take Wale again.

I like that poor Wale and Earl are just the backup choice. I know. And so she's just going to like see if she can get back to that good place with the super hot guy that she's just like brushing off to the side. So Giselle's like, well, I was told that the date required 10 shoes. And I didn't know if Mr. Phil had any because he's so well dressed all the time. So Phil, will you go on a date with me? I'll be ecstatic, ecstatic to go on a date with you.

I'd love to go on a date with you. You didn't answer about these sneakers. I'd love to go on a date with you. I'd love to go on a date with you. You didn't answer about these sneakers. I'd love to go on an ecstatic date with you. Is it in Bel Air? I love Bel Air. We could walk there or go out onto my deck. I don't actually have sneakers, but what I do have are two custom rose Royces that are the size of my feet that I put my feet into.

She's like, I had such a good conversation with Phil last night, I just I felt him relax when I asked him about his money and his crypto investments. She's all needs nothing but money. She's hilarious. Yeah, we see a clip to her going, so I know this is what you would normally do a 10 course dinner and he's like, Oh, never kicked a Michelin star dinner out of bed. I love a Michelin star now and then,

especially one in Berlin. C'est la sa. So she wants to know more about him. And AKA she's like, wow, I could really bag a really rich guy. She's basically seeing if he seems like a crook or not. Like, is this money real or are you a con man? So Joel's like, all right, last but certainly not least,

but probably most boring. Hey. Shannon, would you like to take out who you want to take on this date? She's like, well, I have not gone on one date with anyone other than Earl. Thanks a lot, Earl. So Adam, would you like to go on an excursion today?

We could talk about USC and things like that. He's like, I would love to. Great. You know, Adam is very worldly. You know, he lives close to me, but he's not in Orange County. And I think that makes him very worldly. He actually has to take the 110 freeway places. You know, I've only been on dates with Earl, so I choose roughage.

Give me the boring guy who lives kind of far away. So Joel leaves and Shannon turns to Earl. She's like, are you okay, Earl? Are you okay? He's like, I mean, yeah, I'm fine. You you go have a good time. Okay. Well, you have a good time, too. Possibly with my good friend Asparagus who I'm sending to your room later. to possibly with my good friend asparagus who I'm sending to your room later. I'm sure you'll have a great time just chewing your way through all the barbacala here on the beach. So Earl's like, well, I want her to be happy and she deserves to be happy, but I wish it was me that was going on the date with her. Yes, no, you later Earl. It was me that was going on the date with her. Yes, no you later Earl.

So now they go to Wild Canyon Park in Los Cabos. So Joel's like, if you're gonna go on a date with a housewife, you're gonna have to strap in and deal with a lot of rough terrain, which is why I've scheduled a series of adventure dates at Wild Canyon. Are we wrapped here? Are we done?

No? Are we done here? So yeah, they go to this canyon place and, uh, on the way, I'm just gonna zipline, I think. She's like, oh yeah, look at that, a zipline. I ziplined through the jungle in Tulum. It was amazing. I'm a world traveler, a world traveling countess. You know who else has done that, Princess Kate? That's my girl. That's my girl. Now technically, technically I didn't actually zipline and technically it wasn't Tulum. Turns out I flipped my car in Gestad and had a crazy hallucination and my life flashed

before my eyes and I also saw my speculative life which was ziplining in Tulum, but didn't actually happen. Anyway, the point of the story is they saved me and I went back to America. Okay, let's get on the zipline. You don't like ziplining in Tulum stories, huh? All right, well I unzip line Josh Groban at a Lakers game once. That count?

Oh yeah, he lifted me up all right. So now Giselle and Phil are going to do like a four wheeler thing over a bridge. And Giselle's like, do you like four wheelers? And he's like, nice, love four wheelers. I'll do it, I'm into it. Let's do it, I'm excited by the idea of it. We'll have a splendid drive over this canyon.

Nah. Ashley and Wale, they're going to a big swing and she's like, I don't want a bungee jump, I don't want a bungee jump. And they're basically telling her like, don't worry, it's not a bungee jump, it's just a swing, which is hilarious, because it's a bungee jump essentially. It's a bungee jump on a swing, but I think it's hilarious that the scene after Ashley's like,

I don't want to be a swinger. They're like, we're going to make Ashley be a swinger. Right. So Shannon. You know how many sl things I've been in, in this marriage, I'm triggered. Shannon and Adam arrive at their excursion, which is a camel ride. And Shannon's like, Oh, a camel. Well, I don't know how I feel about this. I don't like things that have extra humps like David did in our marriage. Although it will be nice to bond with it, you know,

it's the only animal that retains as much water as I do. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! It's just what age does to you. So Luan's like, well, I'll tell you how to ride a camel. Hold on for dear life! Kind of like you're tumbling over the side of a cliff in Gush Dodd.

So then we see, of course, the classic video of Luan thrashing about on the back of a camel. Still funny all these years later. They're good. And the guide's like, okay, Shannon, this is your camel. His name is Alf. And she's like, oh, well, how tall is Alf? And goes two meters. And she goes, yeah, I don't know what that is. Yeah, I don't know what that is. I feel a little bit triggered because I feel like you're trying to taunt me right now. And I told you I only speak in this Imperial, not metric. I told you that. So Giselle in the ATV with Phil, he's like,

I live in this type of environment. I have a place in Paradise Valley and Bel Air. It's just like this, four wheeling through the hills. Oh look, it's Rana White. You still love the Red Manor? I have the only ATV bridge in Bel Air that goes directly from a mansion to a Gelson's. Take it every day.

He's literally hilarious. Also have you touched? He's riding an ATV over a a bridge and just like, it's just like where I live. Bel Air. I'm like, it's nothing like that. Also, why do you keep mentioning that you have a place in Paradise Valley and Bel Air? We get it. It's been like four episodes now. By the way, I have a place in Paradise Valley and Bel Air. But it's working for him. I have to say.

So they drive across it and Giselle's like, I'm enjoying spending time with Phil. I want to see if Phil is just one note or if he has different dimensions to him. How rich is he? How many bank notes does he have? Just one or multiple? Phil has many, many notes.

So then we go to Ashley and Wale in a cable car and they do the swinging thing. And then down at the camels, Adam offers Shannon the opportunity to go in front. But she's like, maybe I got better go in the back. So they they're trotting along and Lohan, meanwhile, Lohan and James are doing their drip zipline. These two are so weird together but like it works in a strange way because she's like James I'm trusting you with my life I'm here girl don't you worry oh oh oh oh

oh I love my life oh my life so Adam and Shannon are making small talk and she's been coming to Cabo forever guys. And he's like, yeah, I came down here when I was in film school actually. Adam's not very charismatic, I'm just gonna say.

I don't know if it's the Botox or what it is about Adam, but he's not very interesting, but Shannon's pretending he is to get back at Earl. So she's like, oh really? Oh wow, film school. Oh, so do you press record on the camera? How does that work? Good for you.

And he's like, yeah, I also have a tech startup and we're about to launch a big telehealth platform in Cameroon. Wow, great cookies. I love coconut. Cameron, you know, I love that you went to film school and you have something in Cameroon because I remember when I went and saw Sense and Sensibility, I did eat those cookies there and it was a great combination of experiences.

So that's amazing. Wow. Nothing is more fun on the back of a camel than hearing about a tech, a telehealth platform in Cameroon. Well, I am enthralled. I'm predicting tax problems with Adam. He's running from something. A telehealth platform in Cameroon.

What's going on with you, sir? That sounds fishy. It's not necessarily fishy, but it's the, I went to film school and now I'm launching a telehealth platform in Cameroon. That's where things are. That's a weird disconnect for me there. Yeah.

Maybe it's cause I don't trust Kirk Cameroon. You know? You know, like, bread all us fans, and then look what happened to him. Went nuts. Went over the top. That's right. But the First Lady of Cameroon, if she still is the First Lady, she is great. I love her.

She's a big diva. Really? How do you know? Yeah. Let me look her up. Your big First Lady of Cameroon fan? I love that for you. Well, look, I'm telling you, please look her up. She is your big first lady of Cameroon fam. I love that. Well, look, I'm telling you, look, please look her up. She is

amazing. Her name is Chantal Bia. Just look up Cameroon first lady. She should be a real housewife like this lady. I mean, the hair is we don't we need hair like this on Bravo. Oh, yes, I love it. How do you know who she is? I'm a stan. Her, her, she's so, her look is, I don't know where it came onto my radar, but her look is so legendary that like it got onto my radar somehow. I mean, she's all her looks are just fantastic. She's fabulous. Yeah. Insanely big hair and insanely big bows as well. I'm a fan.

First Legend Cameron. Amazing looks at all times. I think maybe it was in Olympics or something or some diplomatic thing. She came to LA and I was like, oh my God, I stan her. Icon mother. Yeah, she's crazy. She's good looking.

I can see why someone would want to open a telehealth portal there. You know, seeing her really inspires telehealth portals. You know, seeing her really inspires telehealth portals. People in Cameroon don't want to go out on the streets in case the first lady's out there. So they're just like, you know what, I'll stick with telehealth today. First lady might be out there looking for a boat or something. So Ashley and Wale, they jump, you know, and he's, he wants to scream, but he also needs to keep his cool because he's on a date with Ashley and he

knows he's losing her to Ralph. So you can see him like doing this, like repressed scream, which I thought was funny. And then they just like hanging there and then they start to make out, which is, you know, I guess they almost died. So why not make out? Yeah. Um, so then back at the hotel, the guys who weren't asked out are sitting around and Earl's like, wow, this is the first time I hadn't been on a date,

so it feels kind of weird all day after they left. I didn't get picked, so. Just been eating this beef jerky salad. Hey, you eating lettuce, Earl? No, it's just beef jerky in a bowl. I just call it beef lettuce. Just lettuce that's been smashed out of the shape of romaine.

So Jay is like, well, I haven't been on a date either. And Ray's like, yeah. And Ralph is like, yeah, you're complaining. Oh, I missed one, whatever. Ralph's like, I haven't been on a date either. And Jay's like, yeah, Ralph, does it not you that you haven't been on a date yet? He's like, no, not at all. I'm totally chill.

I'm a chill guy. Chill, totally chill. I'm a chill guy. Chill. Totally chill. Yeah. So then, let's see. Everybody's trying to pretend they're OK, but they have to sit there with each other all day. And so that's not very fun. So then Adam and Shanish, Adnan, Adnan.

No, that's not a good couple's name, because that's the guy from serial. Shanam. Adam. Shanam. Yeah, that's a cute couple name. So, Shannon, hi. You've reached Shannon. How can I help your health today over the telephone? Hi, you've reached the Shannon Bedor telehealth platform. This is where you get to tell me about your health, telehealth. So, Shannon. Okay, you've got a runny nose, a fever, and a cough.

Have you tried having your husband stick his finger up your butt to see if there is psychological debris lodged up there? Okay, that's what I suggest. If you have done that, do you eat vegetables? Do you know what vegetables are? Okay, well, there's the problem. You don't eat vegetables. Call Earl.

Call this number. Ask for Earl. Tell him to eat vegetables and hang up. You'll feel better in the morning. Oh, well, oh, look at the heavy pour that you're pouring me, Adam. Oh, that, that camel ride. Oh, so last night when we sat down at the table, so I noticed three people put their napkins on their lap and it was you, Luann, and I.

Ha ha, no one else did. No one else knew what to do with the napkin. I mean, Ralph put it on his head, which I thought was strange. He said he was protecting himself from falling vegetables. I didn't understand it. I thought he was joking at first. Well, if I were to write down the similarities

that I have with Adam and the similarities that I have with Earl, I would say neither one of them really looks me in the eye the amount that I would like. Hmm. They're both always sort of looking for exit signs. Hmm. But Adam does live closer. So I choose vegetable eating distance. I do think it was weird when Phil put the I think it was weird when Phil put the napkin into his neck like a cravat and said, I have a place in Bel Air and Paradise Valley. I thought that has nothing to do with the napkin, but whatever.

I guess it works for him. And Adam's like, God, it's so good to hang out with you, Shannon. I mean, there's no drama. We're just so chill. Well, baby steps. Just easy, easy. Here lies Shana Medora, killed by a man who, who put a napkin in his lap last night, but then didn't put one on to have cocktails right now, I'd like to add. We haven't had that conversation, have we? Did I skip it? That shit was funny.

Um, I think it was That shit was funny. When she- I think it was all wrapped up in here. I think that- It was so funny when she's like, well, you know, Adam, I noticed that three people had their napkins on their lap at dinner last night, and it was me, you, and Luann.

No one else! Ha ha! Not that you're wearing one right now. Okay, I'll forgive that. Consistency. Consistency is what I'm looking for. So are you a napkin on the lap person or not? I need to know these things.

No. Commu-shoes. Here comes one right now. Every successful business starts with an idea, and on the best idea yet, we're obsessed with those lightbulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the Frappuccino during his downtime, and then it got acquired by Starbucks. Or how Patagonia's iconic fleece was inspired by a toilet seat cover.

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You can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor. So then we go to James and the WAN. He's like, what are you looking for, baby? You're looking for music in your life. You're looking for 24 hour happiness. You came to the right taco stand. Happy tacos sold here.

Well, I'll tell you what I want. Our happiness came to the right taco stand. Happy tacos sold here. Well, I'll tell you what I want. Someone who's kind, someone who gets along with Tommy Toon, and top of my list, somebody who has a big pee pee. He's like, what? Wait, does it feel like I'm kind? Do you feel like I'm not kind? No, well, you meant, let's go,

let's fast forward over the kind thing and get right to the pee pee, okay? You understand what I meant by PP Huh, I'm a big supporter of planned parenthood if that's what we're going for, honey How about planned fuckerhood? How about that because i'm planning to do that soon You know, I you know what I mean when I say pp private plane no i'm joking you don't need one of those I can ride your big dick anywhere. I need to go Especially if it's as big as a private plan. Well, here's an honest story. This is true

My father and I were in Italy and my father comes out of the restroom He's like you're not gonna believe what the guy next to me said in the stall. He said we said hey You got the arm of the baby Wow You're out your father ripped the arm off of a baby? That's horrifying, but kind of hot. I did it once when a baby cried while I was trying to sing a song from Salome, the musical. So I get it.

No, I meant his dick. He's got a huge dick. Me and my dad both got huge dicks. We've sword fighting. We've sword fighting before. Wow. All right, well, did he by any chance write his name on that, the bathroom wall and that bathroom in Italy

and where's that bathroom? Send me to it. Did your father ever tell a story about sitting next to a very attractive lady on a flight to Italy and how he gave her crabs from his hairy arms? No? Okay, just trying to track that guy down. Remember that story.

That's a real cold case. But kind of hot at the same time, if you know what I'm saying. I do not remember that story. She, there was that one, that one off they did of like, it was like behind the music, but for like, before they were housewives and Louann was like, well, I flew on a, but for like, before they were housewives and LaWen was like,

well, I flew on a flight to Italy and the man next to me had very hairy arms and I got crabs. She said she got crabs from a man with hairy arms next to her. If I remember correctly, I could be bastardizing it. I just always remember that story of how she sat next to a hairy armed guy and got crabs from him. So I need to go back and watch that.

Why did it happen? It happens. So James has got a huge one, just like his dad, which everyone wants to hear. You know, yeah, me and my dad sporting. And she's like, me and the ladies love when a man has a big PPA. Well, maybe it's something you should explore

and find out for yourself. I was like, wow, he's like, normally most people be like, Ooh, that's kind of skeevy. And then she's like, yes sir. I was like, I don't get it. Like everything he says, I think is so gross. She's like, absolutely. Come to mama. She's like, I'm in. So he's like, you know, it probably sounds biased, but I need to be with someone who has children and loves their children. That's very important to me.

I mean, look how much my dad loves me. We actually had marks on the front door or on the pantry door where we'd measure how much our penises would grow against each other. Well, I don't have that experience, but I would love to see that door. That being said, I do have two children. We used to do Taco Tuesday and I

got my younger son Noel, a break dancing instructor, which showed that I did love him and my daughter Victoria, she does things. So we're happy about that. Well, you know, I've got two children and I showed my love by trying to sell the house their father was giving them and they sued me. So that was fun. We're very close. We're very close. We all pay lawyers together. So that's been fun. Well, and we did have a round house that we enjoyed at one point where we would just accuse each other of things, go round and round and round to the round house. So now we go to Giselle and Phil and he's like,

I had so much fun, what a blast, what a blast. Yes, as I told you, my kids are gone now, so I'm an empty nester now and you're my, so you have a son and my oldest daughter, they're the same age, right? Question, did it take you four years to say goodbye to your son as they went to college? Well, you know, it still feels like an empty nest or even though I live with my son because he's never home in Bel Air. He'll be on a date somewhere that's not Bel Air and I'll

text him and I'll say, Bel Air, we're calling, Bel Air, calling. He doesn't call me back. It's pretty lonely. When you're the't call me back, it's pretty lonely. When you're the president of Bell-eh, it's hard to keep track of your son, because your estate takes over the entire hillside. So yes, we're in the same house, but are we even in the same house? I ask you that. Bell-eh! One of the reasons I've been single for so long is because I've been raising my son. He's 29 now, still raising him.

So she's like, oh, so your priorities are him. We have that in common. Only in Bella. Not in Poe D'Azale though. I don't care about him there. So then Ashley and Wale are hanging out and he's like, Ashley loved the date, you know, and they needed time together. And Wale is like, yeah, we got six hours. And she goes, well, yeah, I mean, we needed more time to figure out things, you know,

it's just, there's so many men that come on that seem better than you, but then they're not. So I come back to you and well, you know, I'm still looking at that door, waiting for a better one. So this has been great. And he's like, well, you know, I'm still looking at that door waiting for a better one So this has been great And he's like, yeah, I mean look I never had an issue with you dating other people if that's that's what the experience is You know, I'm just saying is you know, although you're dating other people don't forget about me She goes well, I feel like I didn't forget about you and he goes well, I feel like you did

I was like, you know, you're doing well there while a but when he said I said, I feel like you did, he just needs to say, cool, that's great. I was just being chill. I was like, hey, I'm still here. I still wanna get to know you. That's all he has to say. But he's like, you did forget about me. You did forget about me. Don't tell her what she feels and what she knows.

Isn't she just like, well, I haven't kissed anyone else here, right? Like no one's gotten close to me physically or emotionally. And so he kisses her again and he's something, he's holding something behind his back and he's got her a present. She's gonna have a whole collection at this point. And he hands her a letter, she reads it.

I recognize you keep choosing me and I just want you to know I'm choosing you too, even when you choose other people over me, which is probably right now, because I have time to write this letter. You stupid, stupid hooker. Love, Wale. Aww. That was so sweet of you. You know, since Wale and I started the process, it's been the two of us and like we've had eyes locked on and like things have like sort of shaken our connection a little bit. But like when you have a partner engage you and like make you feel special, that is a huge turn on for me.

But you know what's also another huge turn on someone who's 65. So she's like, I'm watering and I'm focusing themselves. And he doesn't really have any age spots yet. So I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to stare at during dinner. I don't try. He's going to. I want someone who's going to objectify me and talk down to me. So, you know, even though he's super hot, he's got a great smile and seems to be into me, I'm going to go for the old guy.

So now the women get together to huddle and talk about the men. And Luann's like, oh, James gave me a piggy ride to the zipline. It's on his dick. Huge one. Big, big as the golf cart. He carried me on his back. And Giselle, I can't believe Giselle this is Giselle's like, I am going to step into the world of Ronie. She goes, he didn't buckle with the weight. That was such a Ramona. And the way it goes, I mean, well, I mean, I said, darling, you know, I'm tall, but I've got small wrists and ankles and things. So while I may appear to be tall and heavier than the average country bear, I lose a lot

of that mass through my wrists. I've got tiny, tiny wrists. They're basically made of feathers. So I'm pretty much as heavy as, I don't know, like a fleck of sand at this point. Am I spiraling? Perhaps. Listen, maybe I'm tall, but I've got one thing other women don't,

and that's a set of teeth behind my regular set of teeth facing backwards. And they are actually, they are as light as styrofoam, so no added mass there. So no buckling, no buckling, when you have the countessrofoam. So no added mass there. So no buckling, no buckling. When you have the countess on your back, don't worry everyone. Small wrists, small wrists and ankles. Well, they gave me Fanny flutters and they're like, oh my God, Fanny flutters.

So then Shannon's like, well, did you fill his package? What was that Mike? I'm like, no, well, you should have brushed, brushed along it, just brushed along it. I brushed along Adams and he started talking about telehealth in camera room, so. Wow, Shannon, I never would peg you as someone who would brush someone's dick. Oh, oh, definitely not a dick.

I meant like, did he receive any mail and were there toxins inside it and perhaps a box of vegetables? Does he have a CSA box? Because Earl doesn't! Does he have a package and did he scan it with blue light before opening it to make sure that there were no germs? That's all I'm saying. You never know. Well, when you're with him, did you think about Earl in any way? Well, a couple of times I did because I felt bad. I just felt terrible. I mean, there's a comfort to Earl.

You know, a big warm blanket as a person. I think, why has nobody folded up that blanket? Why is that blanket thrown over a traffic cone? Nobody's done anything with it. Then the blanket starts crying. Oh, it is a crying blanket. I did, you know, on that date, I did think about Earl and I thought, wow, if I break my neck and die on this camel the last person I would have kissed was Earl the pearl and that was sad for me

All right, does that him have a dick like a like a racehorse or what? How about his dad? Lou Anne I I can't help please stop waving your wrist in front of my face. I just want to show everyone I've got very small wrists and ankles. Okay? I would never make a man buckle under my weight. Ever. So we see Giselle and Phil on their date playing around on their four wheeler. And she says, so you have one of these in your garage. And he's like, well, I have a double R. That's a Rolls Royce for those of you

who don't know what it is. Rolls Royce, bala, bala Rolls Royce. EARL THE PEARL'S like, well, I've got an HG, a Hyundai Elantra, so get ready ladies. Well, I've got an HB, heartburn. Get ready, ladies. Well, I've got an HB heartburn. I actually did once write to Chevrolet and I said, Dear Chevrolet, have you considered labeling

your next vehicle the Chevy heartburn? I never received anything back, but I think it's because the idea was too good and they didn't want to give it to me. So Ashley's like, how do you think Ralph's gonna feel that you didn't ask him out on a date? And basically, Ralph earlier was like, I'm glad I'm not going on a date. I'm trying not to die over here. Okay. So maybe he's just in his feels because he didn't get picked up.

So Ash is like, okay, let's go down and have a nightcap. And Shannon's like, oh, well, I So, Ash is like, okay, let's go down and have a nightcap. And Shannon's like, oh, well, I actually do not put on headwear at night because it keeps toxins in that need to be released from the scalp. How about a sleep guard? Can we go down and have a sleep guard? I do grind my teeth at night. So, shall we just all go down and get ourselves fitted for a new night guard?

No? Oh, night guard, you're correct. I'm sorry, sleep guard. Well, I have a sleep guard too, which is, it's a mask I put on my face to prevent myself from inhaling any spiders during my sleep. I actually put a sleep guard on my face so I don't fall asleep so I could just lay there counting sheep all night long. It's important to know how many sheep there actually are.

We don't want to have too much wool in our air because it can really get your sinuses going. Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crap ends would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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