Watch What Crappens - #2851 Love Hotel 0104 Part Two: Ashley Has a Senior Moment

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

This is part 2 of a two-part recap!In the wake of veggie-gate, Shannon seeks greener pastures on Love Hotel.  Meanwhile, Ashley and Ralph explore their connection, which really only boils down to him being a daddy and her being a hottie. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondry and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it.

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. Hi everyone, welcome back! This is part two of a two-part recap.

If you're wondering where part one was, well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. They go downstairs and Ashley pulls Raph aside. Because, you know, last night was the night that she's like, I like you too, Ralph. So he's like, you're a beautiful woman. And I discounted the fact that there would be any connection whatsoever.

I mean, you're young, you're gorgeous. I'm old, I'm exhausted. I know that's what I'm into. You know, I just found you so alluring since the first day. I saw you pull the underwear out of your butt and then kind of pick a booger out of your nose and turn it into a little ball and blow on it until it became flickable. And there's just something so attractive about a man who's willing to wait for what he wants. You know, nothing was more alluring to me than seeing you in that oversized polo that

almost eclipsed your shorts and I thought, this man is a sexy man. But you're a beautiful woman and I just can't believe it. She goes, but I meant what you said last night. I find you really, really old. Attractive. Attractive. Yeah, I have to say, you do kind of remind me of those trolls from the movie Frozen, but when I did see the movie Frozen, I got really turned on by those trolls. So that works for me. So she has a connection with Wale, but is it worth it to shoot her shot with somebody and let that jeopardize what she knows is a good thing going on

with Wale and Ralph's like, shit, if I never knew her and I were a possibility, I kind of need to understand things to see if there's a fit. Geez, normally I walk into a sunglasses hut and the clerk, sunglasses hut and the clerk's there, just, you know, asked me to leave grandpa, or say not to touch anything, or follow me around the store.

But it's a young person who likes me. It's a young person who likes me. Yeah, I feel like Ralph is not getting enough of an old fuck boy edit, because just the last episode he sat down Giselle and he was like, I only want to focus on you. I like you the most. You're the one who met like I care about the most.

And the moment that the hot younger girl says like, Hey, I kind of think you're you're cool. He's like, Giselle who? I think that's what really drops that. Well, have you ever met a man before that is like in the man DNA? It's like, wow, a younger option, a younger model just walked in. I didn't even have to be married to you for 20 years

before I dumped you for a younger option. It's literally day two. Time is sure moving quickly. Yeah, so basically she's like, I'm into you. So Shannon and Adam sit down and he's like, so how are you feeling? She's like, well, um, last night was a lot for Ralph and he's, he's super emotional and I just don't know what to say about it. Just kidding. Eat some kale. That is spinach. So Ralph is going to pursue this and Ashley is going to pursue this. And she's like, you know, I just just as one of my girls,

but I want to see where your interest lies. Don, don, don. So then let's see, Ashley, is this where they make out? Well, not quite yet. So Ashley's still talking, she's still talking a little bit more to him. And she's like, you know, we only have a little bit of time.

And he's like, I understand that. She's like, and I didn't think you were romantically interested in me. He's like, I mean, come on, honey. Look at, look, I mean, everybody has a pulse. We'll be interested in you toots. I mean, you got a rack, you got cheekbones, you got skin as tight as a drum, you know, hello. I'm putting my interested in you toots. I mean, you got a rack, you got cheekbones, you got skin as tight as a drum.

You know, hello, I'm putting my penis in you as soon as I can, baby. He doesn't even lie. He's just like, you're gorgeous, you're bubbly, dot, dot, dot. I know nothing else about you. I know. That's, I won't layer it. You're hot.

Yeah. I know that we got a beach over there, but have you ever thought about motorboating on land? Brrrr. So Shannon is seeing all of this and she's sitting with Wale and she's rooting for Wale. So she's like, well, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Are you choking?

No, I'm just trying to get out of sentence. Just be quiet. So up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up of sentence. Just be quiet. So, okay. Well, what is all out actually roughing? What are they, what are they doing together? And he's like, I don't know. I really don't know. And he tells, he's now like, I think this is when he's in the confession. He's like lying on his back and he's like, I mean, she likes to test you. She likes to see if she, if you can handle some of the antics.

This is so strange. He's's like, I mean, she likes to test you. She likes to see if you can handle some of the antics. This is so strange. He's basically like, I think that he's really like, I'm the hottest one in my neighborhood and I've come onto the show and somehow I'm just like an option. I don't get this at all. Well, you know, you've dated someone I'm sure. Okay, look, I won't say yes,

but I won't speak for other people. But I've dated someone who I'm like, oh my God, this person is so hot. Like this person is way too hot for me. And then maybe they'll show me a picture of somebody they've dated before me. And I'm like, ooh, that person's gross too. And then there's a part of me that's just like,

so are they just like into, like, am I gross? Like, are they just into gross guys? And I fit within that, like, bound, you know, it shouldn't be like that, but it is. You're like, oh, wait a minute, if they're attracted to that person and me, does that make me gross like that person? Like am I grosser than I thought?

You know, it can send a spirit person into a spiral. So I think Wale is just like, she's into 60 year, like how is this computing for me? Like if she's like some 60 year old kind of rundown, because listen, it's not an ageist thing. Ralph looks like he's a big guy. How is this computing for me? Like if she's like some 60 year old kind of rundown. Cause listen, it's not an ageist thing. Ralph looks like he's a big guy. He just looks exhausted.

His eyes are half closed like Garfield the whole time. I can't even believe he's staying awake for shooting. He looks exhausted. I know. And while he's like, how am I in the same league? But the problem is that while Leia's personality is like, it's not fun. He's not a fun guy. It's like trying to be fun by smiling a lot, but he's like, it's not fun. He's not a fun guy.

It's like trying to be fun by smiling a lot, but he's like, he is really serious. And- Wale will text you, like he'll know when you're on the way home from work and be like, are you on the way home from work? I hope you're on the way home from work. That's where you should be.

Are you hanging out after work? Like he seems like he's maybe too possessive or something. Exactly, and like the hottest guy, it's always shocking how like an incredibly hot person, guy or girl, can like lose all of their looks the moment like their bad personality comes out. It's actually, it's kind of amazing. I always find it to be very liberating.

Well, there's a hot people fragility, right? Because I feel like when you're really cute, you're used to getting whatever you want because everybody wants to date you. You know, you have like the pick and then people are like all over themselves with falling all over themselves. Like, oh my God, he's so cute.

So when you meet somebody that's like me, it's like, what do you mean? I'm hot. I don't, you can't treat me like this. I have hot brim lanes. Yeah, it's great actually. So then Adam, so Ralph and Ashley are talking and then Adam just like comes over and like, he's like, Hey, he's like, what's up, what's up, Ralphie? So Ashley's like, she's like, okay, I gotta go.

And she really, she really wants to kiss Ralph, but she's not going to, and he kisses her hand and like, it's like really intense. So she walks away. And then when she walks away, she's thinking like, should I go for it? Should I go for it? She has this whole monologue of like, you know, Ralph is the temptation. I'm like trying to resist that temptation,

but I just can't. I don't want to upset or offend Gisele. And I do feel a strong connection with Wiley. But the thing is that Ralph is something else. He's someone I could feed, you know, frozen peas to and peach cups. And that's exciting for me. Michael and I broke up before the chance that I got to mash up bananas and change his bed

pan. I could have that with Ralph. So she goes back over there and she's like, Um, Adam, could you excuse me a little bit? I think the plant over there wants to know about telehealth. Okay, great. Okay, hi. You know what we talked about? There isn't a lot of time.

How are here at the Love Hotel? We have to seize the moments. Do you wanna seize the moment? Or my boobs or something? Seize me. So they make out and then Ralph does this. Ugh. Ew.

A kiss moaner? No, get the fuck out of here, Ralph. But she likes it. She's like, oh my God, he grabbed me from the first embrace. He started growling in my ear. Oh my God, growling. That's what I've been looking for. He smelled like fixident. Oh my God, something that just triggers in me. Jesus Christ. I feel so bad for Butt-Head watching this show because you know she's still dating Butt-Head in real life. Yeah, they were just seen together shooting for the new season of Potomac, right? Yeah. Sorry, Butt-Head.

So then, what's his name, John? This, whatever his name is. So she's like, this is what I've been looking for. So now it's the next morning and people are working out and Ralph's all, he's still horned up, et cetera. And Ashley is sitting with Giselle in the confessional and she's like, so Giselle last night I kissed Ralph and she just cracks up. I kissed a senior and I liked it.

And she's like, I said, you know what? Tomorrow is not promised, especially not for Ralph. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Definitely not. You know, there could have been an earthquake and everybody could have died. And so, yes, tomorrow is definitely not promised. How was the kiss? Did his dentures get stuck on you with the fixident? She's like, who's dead still?

You better hope so, because that man's pushing 80. No, not a tick's left in that clock car. Ha ha ha ha ha. The cuckoo is too tired to come out of the clock anymore, Ashley. We're winding down. So, uh. We're winding down. So Giselle is pretty chill about this, mainly because she just found out that Phil has a

Rolls Royce. So she's like, whatever, take the sound technician. I've got Phil. So now Adam and James are in the lounge chatting and they're talking about how there's going to be friction now between Ralph and Wale. And Adam's like, yeah, you know, I saw Ashley make out with Ralph last night. I saw it with my own eyes and I said, guess what? I love my life. Fully kissing. Wow. So now Jay and Phil and Jason are sitting at the edge of the pool. I was like, wait, Jay, Phil and Jason.

Oh, that's right. Oh, poor Jay. He's he's going to be gone soon. Jay's like, I've seen a lot of highs and a lot of lows at the love hotel over the last couple of days. And Phil's like, I can attest to that. It's like when you come down from Bel Air, you go you leave the highs of Bel Air and go to the lows of Brentwood. That disgusting neighborhood full of upper middle-class people. Here's what I choose. The other side of breadwood. That's disgusting. They've heard full of upper middle-class people. Here's what I choose. The other side of the hill.

So Ashley is trying to fit. She's like, she's like trying to figure out how to navigate, um, you know, with this whole situation and doesn't want to break girl code. Listen, she gave Giselle the biggest gift of all, which is that a future scene where Gisele can confront Ralph and say, so Ralph, you said I was the only one you cared about. Now you're going for Ashley. She's so ready to carve him up. It didn't happen this episode, but I feel like it's coming next episode.

Yeah. Gisele's not chill. I mean, I love that they showed Gisele just being so chill. No, no, she's saving this. She is saving this. She will destroy him. Lou Anne's like, first thing I I shot down by Ralph of all people. Wow. Got shot down from the piano playing dog from the Muppets. Where's his baby arm? If you know what I'm talking about. So then, yeah, we saw, we see how Ralph shot down all these people. When it's like Ralph is the new Harry Dubin taking a turn with all the girls, am I right? So then we see if we see the Harry Dubin footage and Chris and Daigman from Girls Trip,

like narrating all the, all his conquests, et cetera. Yeah. And now we're back to present. Well, you know, he is much better looking than Harry Dubin. Sorry, Harry. So now Giselle and Ashley are on a couch in the room and Giselle's like, let's talk about Ralph. You really like Ralph or was this, I was drinking, the breeze was blowing, your hair was looking good, you were looking sexy. What was going on?

I was in my femininity for sure, but like, yeah, I'm really into Ralph. Although now that I hear that Harry Dubin is like Ralph, but like less good looking, I'm kind of into Harry Dubin. I just heard about a more disgusting version of Ralph. Do you have his number? So, uh, so Gisele doesn't care. She's like, no, shocker. She loves an old man.

And then we see a side by side with Michael Darby. Michael's just like, where is the ring? Where is the ring? And they just choose such a bad shot. They could have done better with that though. They definitely should have gotten the shot of him laughing like a maniac at that party. Like one of the last shots we ever saw of Michael

being like with Juan Dixon. So Ash is like, Yeah, I wasn't even really checking for Ralph. Yes, and you had trust Ralph. You said Ralph has little lips, probably can't kiss. Remember this before you stole him away from me, by the way. I'm totally chill about it. Totally chill.

I won't even care about this when I pass you in my RR. That sounds for Rolls Royce. So she's basically like, no, being emotional isn't really my thing. Virgos don't operate that way. We keep things close to the vest. I'm basically a borderline dude. I don't know. Yeah. So she says, I never even looked at Ralph like I want to stick my tongue down your throat That's not even fair to Ralph. He deserves that Ralph deserves a looser woman Ashley. I'm glad he found you a looser woman with a low standard, so

then there's like a knock on the door and Just Ralph. Oh It's Ralph This is weird Yeah, Ralph enters in and so he comes in and he's like, he's like, guys, he sits down between the two of them, he's like, I mean, I'm confused. I mean, you guys have crashed my system.

This is wild. I mean, I express interest in you, Giselle, you may remember, and I don't think I got a whole lot back. So this is kind of your fault, I'm just gonna say that. And then all of a sudden, last night happens, big tits, young big tits comes at me and I'm like, Giselle, who am I right? Again of your fault. I'm just going to say that. And then all of a sudden, last night happens, big tits, young big tits comes at me and I'm like, Gisele, who am I right?

Again, your fault. So yeah, I'm crazy right now. Yeah, and I like when he goes, you know, I gave you a lot of attention. I didn't seem to get any back. And she goes, yes. Yeah, you did. Would you blame me? So she's like, everyone should explore things in the love hotel. Yeah, you'd like me.

So she's like, she's like, explore things in love hotel. And then he's like sitting there talking to both of them about his feelings, which is so odd to see. I guess that's like an older generation thing. You just get older and you're like, okay, with sharing your emotions. I kind of like the Giselle style. I mean, I guess I'm a Virgo too. So that's more me.

But I'm like, I don't need you to come over and talk about your feelings. Keep those to yourself. But also, by the way, the reason why she didn't give a lot back is because she doesn't want to deal with, she doesn't want to get hurt. She doesn't want to give something back, knowing that the moment a hotter, younger thing comes by,

you're going to just completely go over there. So- Right, it's like a test thing, after what she's already been through with her husband and everybody else is kind of like, okay, let's see how you react against Ashley. Yeah, like you want to marry me? Ashley's running a lemonade stand in a bikini.

You lose, you know, so immediately. So, you know, he fell into the, he fell into exactly what she probably suspected. I think you're correct on that one. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop?

From Wondery and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is the big flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground,

there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen,

and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.

Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Every successful business starts with an idea and on the best idea yet, we're obsessed with those light bulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the Frappuccino during his downtime and then it got acquired by Starbucks. Or how Patagonia's iconic fleece was inspired by a toilet seat cover.

On the best idea yet, we dive into the untold origin stories behind the products you're obsessed with and the bold risk takers made them go viral. These are the wild ideas and insights that made Birkenstock the best selling sandals since Jesus. And made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention span. Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it.

New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor. So Gisele's telling you, we should explore things in the Love Hotel. I would just like to see if Ralph is going to need a stint after one hour with Ashley. Yeah, exactly. So Ralph's like, well, I talked, I told you all, I re talked, which is funny because it's also, um, like it love love Island rules would be that Ashley would be the one

to tell, uh, Wale. So the fact that she didn't tell Wale and that he went up, like that's also kind of shady. And it's also a little bit of a power play on Ralph's end. I have to add. And Wale is like, well, I'm not surprised. Like, well, okay, whatever. Well, I don't know how, back to present, Ralph is like, I don't know how he's processing. I know he's into you, but however it plays out, it plays out. All I know is he's age appropriate.

I'm old and saggy. So I think we know who wins this one, right? Yep, sure do. Good morning, everybody. Tomorrow's another elimination. Blah, dee, blah, dee, blah. Let's see how it shakes out. Bye, everybody. Tomorrow's another elimination. Blahdy, blahdy, blah. Let's see how it shakes out. Bye everybody. Oh, well, I was hoping that the waiter was going to bring over some green juice, but

that's fine. You can just leave. I've had a lot of conversations with men. One thing I have not tasted yet is artichoke dip. Just putting that out there. This is episode four. And by the way, Earl, artichoke dip. Just putting that out there. This is episode four. And by the way, Earl, artichoke dip

does not count as a vegetable. But mayonnaise does. But your horse is right. Wait, there's mayonnaise in this? So I always thought that was artichoke pulp ground to a cream. So she talks with Earl. Earl's like, you want to take a walk? And she goes, well, I was, I was, I was just gonna go, uh, uh, uh,

what Adam has to tell a health thing in Kalamazoo. I was going to go talk with him about the Kalamazoo Nians and their yeah, so I'm sorry. Yellow fever online too. We're joint business now. Sorry. Sorry, Earl. and their health needs. So I'm sorry, yellow fever on line two, we're joint business now, sorry, sorry Earl. Yeah, we have to go on a walk. So unfortunately I'll be washing my hair afterwards, so bye.

He's like, okay. He's telling us, I don't know how to take that except to breathe in and breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Oh God, well, hopefully someday that guy will come and get that motorcycle out of my garage. I'll just focus on that. So then, so Adam and Shannon go on their walk and Adam's like, at some point he's going to get the message right. I just, I just, I just, I don't want to be mean. I don't want to be mean. He's like, well, we've all been in situations where someone's more into us than we're into them. Adam, stop being so confident.

You're a fucking prop, sir. Okay? You're a prop. Well, we have been in that situation or even more. Sometimes some of us have been in a situation where you're more into them than they're into you. That has happened to me once or twice in the past few years, which is very fun. Oh, goodness.

So then- You know, I love a man who's confident with himself and which is very fun. Oh goodness. So that was a man who's confident with him with himself. And Adam is so secure. I love a man who can walk down a beach and just see a sunset and see a blonde sled on the beach and leave me alone with that. Fuck this person. Fuck this person. You know what I like about Adam? He, uh, he cares about, um, uh, telehealth about telehealth in Rooney Mara's house and he likes to wear a scarf and that is confident. I am very attracted to this man who is not

Earl. Mm-hmm. So Ashley and Wale talk and she's like, yeah, I mean, I had a good night. I got a good gym workout and okay. Well, first of all, I would like to say that the events that transpired last night with Ralph were not premeditated by me. Okay. Why are you already, why are you writing a lawyer? Why are you talking a lawyer speak? It's like, did you go to legal zoom before you had this conversation with Wale? I know. And he's like, he's like, again, girl, you gotta,

no, look, you gotta do the hair over. If you're gonna make out with him, you gotta shower first, you gotta do the hair over. It's just, no, I didn't plan for it. This is not typically how I conduct myself. He's like, I mean, sharing a kiss the same night, probably, that's probably been better, that probably would have been better served

if you did it the next day. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, the jurisprudence of the way that I conducted myself and the premeditation of it did not indicate that I should, I'm sorry, I forgot what I was talking about. He's like, why'd you make out with that dude the same day? Fuck off, Wale. She can make out with whoever she wants,

whenever she wants to. That's exactly correct. And she's like, well, I did not like your face for five hours. He's like, I mean, we spent five hours making out. She's like, no, we did not spend five hours. He's like, well, we were making out. I don't care. She's allowed to go on and kiss the next person right away.

Again, have you never seen Love Island? Sometimes it's three or four people in one night. That's just the way it works, okay? Yeah, I mean, I could see if it was after, like if he was after and she hadn't told him, something like, if you could have told me you were making out with some old dude before I made out with you,

because now I've basically made out with the old dude. You know? But. Yeah, exactly. But also it was like the sun was down, it was a different stage of the day. I feel like it totally counts. That's like lunch complaining that you had breakfast, okay?

It's like different times, I think it counts. So it's okay. And so now this is where he's lying on the sofa and he's like decorum. Decorum is the word. I mean, emphasize this place, not my feelings, but decorum. How about you about goodbye him? Okay. You're gone. Goodbye. I'm sir. And he's like, you can't go on a date with Wale and wear the same clothes and then go kiss Ralph. Like you didn't even brush your teeth and you're swapping saliva decorum people Yeah, but if she did that you'd be like I can't believe you brushed my kiss out of your mouth Like I want that kiss to stay in there. So like he would never have been happy no matter what Yeah

And why are you acting so classy when you're trying to date people from the back page of a backstage casting ad? Get the fuck out of here. Exactly, exactly. So Shannon and Adam sit by the bar and this is where he has now put on a scarf, which I'm just like, I was mortified about this decision for him. And he's like, wow, tomorrow I could be going home.

There's an elimination. You could, you could be going home, but luckily you eat vegetables, which is very important to me. At least your home won't be in the ground soon like Earth. So everyone's just having like a nice little time, you know, Jay's talking to Giselle and he's like, oh, I thought I've talked about you from,

I've talked about you with all the other guys and the basic thinking is no one's breaking Giselle. And she's like, that is not true. I'm just a hard nut to crack, which I guess means that that is true. No one's breaking me. Yeah, there was no way Giselle was ever gonna give herself over to any sort of romance on this show ever.

They brought her on so that way she would just make crack jokes in the corner. And that's exactly what she's been doing. Then we see Luanne and go up to Shannon Adam and she goes, well, how's it going with you too? Hi, I'm Luanne. What's your name? He's like, Adam, we've met before. Oh good. Adam. Well, James is all over me like white rice. Don't you mean white on rice? No, he's been throwing white rice at me all day

and I love it. James is all over me like white rice on Earl. Cuts Earl on a bed like American beauty with rice all over him. Any vegetables over here? So Wale talks to Jason and he's like, okay, well let me tell you as the main person in Ashley Universe, you're not out of it yet.

And Jason's like, you're right. At this point I'm going to bat. I'm gonna see how far I can hit it. And if it goes over the fence, cool. If it doesn't, I've still got two girlfriends. Yeah, exactly. Unfortunately, Ashley's just looking for someone who could do a bunt.

Just someone, a slow runner who can do a bunt. So, Luann and James are looking at the sky, and they're like, well, James, isn't this beautiful? A sky, a cabaret star. Wow, you could put me up there, I could be part of a constellation, because a cabaret star, stars, skies. See what I'm going there?

He's like, yeah, oh wow, look up there, some more stars, oh, you're beautiful. Oh really? Throw some rice at my face, James. Let's make out. I got another story about my dad. Hey, James, I'm gonna tell you what Stevie Nicks once told me after a show.

Shh. You know what wise woman once said something and I want you to follow her lead. She said, Rye Sarone, the San Francisco treat. Let's make it the Capo treat. Her name was Liza Mandeli. All right, thanks for coming. So Gisele and Phil are sitting together

and she's like, so are you looking to get married? That possibly to your son? And he's like, oh, it's something I've never done, but I would do if my partner would get married as long as we could get married and, belly! So, but otherwise you don't need to, right? So we're on a court here. I don't go near those cars.

No, no, didn't mean that, sorry. My ah ah eats a court for breakfast, baby. So now Adam, yeah, sorry. Adam's talking to Luan now. Cause this is the part, by the way, that when I talked about earlier, how we see some nemesis of conversation. So this is part of it.

So Adam's talking to Luan and he's like, well, I've been to some of the most spiritual places on earth I've sat under the Bodhi tree. Oh The Bodhi tree I played there saying some great songs that they love me at Bodhi tree. Have you ever been to Marrakesh? She's like I have oh, yeah Marrakesh is great. They They've got some great sand there. I don't know. I've never actually been I just like to talk about it You can hear prayers there people praying they sing when they pray and I say,

find your key, all right? Find your key. He's like, uh, Istanbul, you ever been to Istanbul? Oh, beautiful, beautiful, Istanbul, Istanbul, don't give me no bull, it's Istanbul. Istanbul don't give me no bull. It's Istanbul Colin Booster and I once Constantinople and Istanbul was Chalahassin, I don't know line Where is Istanbul anyway, Florida so They hug and she's like well, it's always great to meet a fan in these places. Have a great evening, sir

And she's like, well, it's always great to meet a fan in these places. Have a great evening, sir. So Ashley and Ralph are walking off together. And she's like, it's hard, because I want to be with my kids all the time on the kitchen island. And he's like, yeah, I want to be with my kids all the time, too, except they're like 25 and 30. So anyway, are we going to make out or what?

I know. I was thinking that, too. Like, yeah, I want to be with my kids all the time, too. I do not want to be with your kids. You've got two very young kids. So no thanks. So Jason's with Ashley and he's interrupting. He's interrupting the conversation. He's like, I don't want to be that guy, you know, interrupting stuff. And she's like, um, well, okay. Well, then don't. Okay. But I'm interrupting. Okay. Okay. Don't worry. Don't worry, Ralph. We can still make out. Okay, but I'm interrupting. Okay, okay.

Don't worry, don't worry, Ralph. We can still make out. Jason's used to this kind of vibe. So then Giselle and Phil are walking in the hallway. It's just like, Phil's like, well, you know what happens when I hug you. I don't want to let go. It's how we do it in bad-lal hugs for eternity. It's like, you have to. Let go of me.

Thank you. Stop touching me. Now back a step away. Now another one. Now sit down. You're doing very well, Phil. Now say Bel-Air. Bel-Air!

All right, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodbye. The bruiser asks Giselle if they've kissed yet, and she goes, well, the spirit hasn't moved me to kiss Phil yet, but I did notice that he tried to bite into my neck at one or two points. And I thought that was a little weird. Something about he needs the juice. Well, what would the spirit have to do to move you to kiss him?

She's like, well, the spirit would have to sing Carol Channing, pop out his dentures and force my face in there. That's what would happen. Nah. She's in it for the RR. She's like, I'm not gonna, I don't want to kiss this man. I just want to have his money. Let me, let me live the life of luxury at long last. Yeah. So then, um, Adam and Luanne are walking to,

or Shannon and Luanne are going to their rooms and Adam joins them. And he's like, can I walk with you too? Cause you guys are amazing. Life lovers, little life lovers. You know, the things I love about you, the things I love about her. Oh no, this is Adam, sorry, I was James. He's like, can I walk between you guys? You're so amazing, you know?

You know, Shannon, the things I love about you and the things I love about Luanne here, if I could just put you into one person, you'd be the perfect woman. Okay, Adam, get the fuck out of here. Don't wonder your thing. who says that to somebody. Like, God, I wish you were just half somebody else. You know?

You're almost perfect. I just wish you had some more qualities like Luanne. And Luanne, you're almost really great. I just wish you were more like Shannon. Like, why would you ever say that? What an idiot. Luanne's like, so you wanna have a menage à trois? In other words, that was French.

I used to live there, be married to France. Yeah. And Luanne's like, so you want to have a menage à trois, in other words, that was French. I used to live there and be married to France. Yeah. And Luanne's immediately like, okay, well, I'm going to move over there to James. Baby arm. So then James and Earl go to sleep. They're like, well, I guess Earl of Pearl's going to have to go to bed early tonight. Not a lot of people fishing for pearls. That's too bad. And Shannon Adams, she's like, Well, welcome to my room. I have shit everywhere. I apologize. We'll let me just put a pillow in front of that Tostitos bag. It's a little embarrassing. Oh, how weird that the hotel has started using pop tarts for pillows. I don't know how those got there. They must have that concierge must have left them there for me when you put in those towels that time.

That was strange. The one day you give me service. So Luanne and James are holding hands as they walk to her room and she's like, I'm going to show you my room. And he's like, what are we going to do up there? Well, don't count your chicken before it hatches on rice. Now that's a very famous saying. But you know, cause you're old enough

to know that one, eh, saggy balls? Sure am. Oh yeah, that's hot. Throw more rice at me. So then Luanne is now talking with James and she's like, well, James, congratulations. You made it into my bedroom, the inner quarters of the Countess,

which means you get to see my seduction show. America, watch how a pro does it. Sit on that couch, I'm giving you a hat show. You ready? Now this is a hat. Da da da da da, hat hat hat hat, da da da da da da, hat hat hat hat. Are you turned on yet by my fedora?

How are you talking about? Get it? I had that one in the show. Billy? He's like, aw, is there anything it'll look sexy in? A bush. Some would say. I don't like a wrap dress. I'll give you that much. Don't feel very sexy in that. Barbara kind of stole that from me.

So back to Adam and Shannon. He's like, it's really nice having privacy kind of shit. Well, I've never sat out here once. It's just so airy and outdoors and ooh, so many germs out here coming from the other floors. I just, you never know who's above you or below you or on the sides of you. This is pretty disgusting. So would you like to wipe a booger down my face

or something? Is this supposed to be romantic? Thank you for bringing me into this veritable arena of allergens, I'm loving it out here. So she's like, I'm waiting to see if Adam will kiss me, see if we have chemistry. And so they're just sitting out there

and he's like holding her arm and they're sitting side by side and he's just staring at his knees and she's staring at her knees and she's like, Oh, wow. Well, hey, Adam, have you ever wondered what would happen if we both started to say the letter O and then looked at each other and press our faces against each other? Would we form the letter? Let's try it. And he's like, oh, well, I'll walk you to the door. He's like, oh, things with Shannon are really evolving nicely. I could really see her in Cameroon. I'll see myself out.

She gets, okay, well. She's doing that thing where she's holding her head sideways, like trying to hide her face with her hair. She's like, oh, yeah, okay. I'm just a girl standing here in a bookshop trying not to be a movie star. I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to get her some claretine after that balcony experience. So they hug and then she kind of like kisses his cheek, kind of like, okay, well, if you won't get the ball rolling, I'll start,'ll give you a little cheese kid. She kiss and you can go for the lips No, okay. But that's that's fine too. I can just I can remain unkissed. Thank you so much. Yeah

So then um the next day don't don't don't oh so Shannon is like well, I didn't get a kiss Maybe it's time to move on from both Adam and Earl Don't don't she's like I guess I'm not enough. I guess you need some Luan in me too, apparently. So the next day, Adam, it's the next day, sorry, James is sitting at a table and he's playing guitar because of course this guy's playing guitar. You know, when he first came onto the show, you know, he's a handsome guy and he was like wearing this blazer. I thought he was going to be kind of like a like a Don Draper, silent, mysterious type businessman. He's just total wackadoodle.

And now he's got a guitar and he's like, hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, a backing band, finally a musician around here. Okay. Love hotel, love hotel, love hotel, the Hotel of Rise. It is based, it is the most basic shit you've ever heard. He's like, Love Hotel, Love Hotel, Love Hotel. Thank you. Do that every time, that's Baby Arm. I was playing that with my dick.

Okay. It was so cringy. Oh, it was so hard. It's hard to watch. Cause you know, look, there's nothing wrong with playing the guitar. But if you're that guy who's in the middle of like a party, say, you know, they're always that guy is like, Hey, I brought my guitar. I know G, E and A. Let's see what we can get. And they just play their shitty three chords badly over and over again.

Go home. Just go home. Or I'll go home. You know what, you sit here, I'll go home. Mm-hmm, that's like, I think I told the story before about one time I randomly somehow got invited over to Adrian Grenier's house, and he had like 10 people over, and like midway through the night, he pulled out a guitar, and he just had it behind his back, and he was like, yeah, I got this guitar, but he never played it the entire time.

I think he played like three, three, three. I was like, what, why do you have this guitar? And I said, do you play guitar? He's like, no. So you won the love hotel, Adrian Grenier. But so on brand. So Ralph and Ashley are walking and he's like, I'm just trying to be respectful.

Should I not be? She's like, well, we wrote some things that showed my intentions and my premeditated desires. Habeas corpus. They make out. Hoooooo. Hoooooo. Hoooooo.

Hoooooo. Hoooooo. Rough make out sounds. Hoooooo. Hoooooo. Hoooooo. Hoooooo. So then, Shannon.

Now all the men are singing love hotel. This needs to stop. Let's not make this a thing. Let's not make this the next what would Jesse Solomon do? So Shannon is pulls Earl aside. She's like, can we talk in my room? I got a special steak for you. He's like, well, don't you don't have to call say my name twice.

That was a joke, girl. You should be onto vegetables now. I've just been replaying my scene with Earl over and over in my head for the last couple of days. I'm just, I'm just not okay where we left everything now that I'm all alone again and have no options of people to kiss me. So I guess I'll make another effort towards second choice Earl. Are you doing OK, sweetie? Honey, sweetie, honey, sweetie? Yes, yes, I'm OK. Ups and downs as always, you know. Oh, you're doing stair climber.

No, actually, I mean, figuratively. Oh, well, that's too bad. OK, ups and downs. Yeah, no, I was just I was just going to say ups and downs, just like the bottom count I read this morning. It is up again. More like ups and ups. It's important for me to have a serious conversation with Earl.

Earl, I wanted to bring you in so we could have a conversation just you and I. I wanted to have this privately. It's limitation day and I want to give this to you." And she hands him an envelope. It's a pair of longer shorts. That way when you sit on the sofa, America sees more than just your crotch. And she tells us,

what's in this envelope is going to be his parting gift. And she hands him this envelope and he opens it and unfolds the paper. And we don't see what's on it, but he just starts, he's like, he starts crying. He's like, yes, Earl, that is a food pyramid. This here is what we call a cold rabbi. I think you should try it.

If you make a dent in the bottom end and turn it upside down, it would be a heart. Okay, so let's work on that. So he says, well, I'm not usually at a loss for words, as long as they're quiet, they can't be too loud. And I opened it and the only word I saw in there was, I don't know, I just started to cry and something's going on and I'm not sure what it is. And Earl's crying and shaking. I mean, what the hell does that letter say?

My guess is that like Shannon was like, Earl, I really like you. I don't see a future with you, but I want to help you. So I found someone who was going to pretend to be your son and is going to get that motorcycle out of your garage. He's like, I can't believe it. Well, Shannon just crushed a man. So that was fun to watch. I know. I feel like, I feel like she's one. I think she's needed to do that her entire life. And she finally got to crush a man. Bring a man to tears. I really thought she was ending up with Earl. I still believe it.

I still believe she's ending up with Earl. I think so. I think this is a misdirection. I think she's not eliminating Earl. I think that she is, she's giving him something like a second chance. Yeah. Coupon to Erewhon. I'm not sure.

A coupon. All right. Well, that was sure fun, everybody. Thanks for being here with us for Love Hotel. We have a very special episode Friday, which is an interview with Serena from below deck down on us, so join us for that. And get this on video and all of our bonus episodes.

We're still on our three part road trip, which is all videotaped. It's really fun. Go check that out on our bonus episodes. Last week, and next week and don't forget we are back for love island coverage on patreon starting in june we sure love you guys we'll talk to you next time bye bye watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king it's always a party on al Block. Our way is the Amber way.

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