Watch What Crappens - #2855 Summer House 0915: Pumps and Dumps

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

Summer House ends its season with Lexi trying to break up with Jessie again for screentime and a big Halloween bash. Also, Paige dumps Craig and Lindsay pumps for the new kid. You can listen to our bonus eps and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  Tickets for our North American tour on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. Well hello and welcome to What's What's Crappin' I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there. Hello Benoons.

Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Good, good. Everybody welcome to the show. It's summer house and day, summer house and finale and day. Glad to be here. We have two final shows, Seattle June 12th and Los Angeles June 19th final shows on the mounting hysteria to get your tickets at watch what crap happens.com. It's also where you find links to our Patreon. This week we've got a three part road trip video bonus episode in Texas. That was a really fun one. Go check it out. Starting in June, we will be doing Love Island recaps.

Patreon exclusive, join us for that. Also Friday, we have an interview with Below Deck Down Under's Serena, Chef Serena. That's a really good one. And next week, we've got a bunch of special guests while Ben is enjoying Norway. We've got Kempire, Amy Phillips, Ryan Bailey, Laura Schoenhals from SUP,

the boys from Page Six's Virtual Reality, and Danny Pellegrino. So join us next week while Ben is living it up in Norway, baby. You excited? You ready to go, Ben? It's your last show of the week. Ben Frick Oh my God, last show and then I'm going to hit the fjord. I'm really excited. It's weird. I've never done... It's a tour. I've never done a tour before and I'm going to hit the fjord. I'm really excited. It's weird. I've never done. It's a tour. I've never done a tour before and I'm going solo. It's just so strange and exciting. And I don't know. We'll see. I will have many tales. I'm sure many of them will probably be uninteresting. I'll be like, I stepped in a puddle, but it was so wet. It's a great story then. Glad you enjoyed Norway. They're not uninteresting to us, my little lovey face.

Thank you. So follow Ben's Instagram and watch where he's going. Where in the world is Ben? Like a TV show. So I'm excited. Yeah, I'll try to post it on the gram, all the good content. All the good viewer content.

Also, you need to do the squirrel picture that you took. You need to post that on your Instagram or the Crappin's Instagram. I posted it on the Crappin's story last night. Oh, someone wrote a comment saying, I came here for squirrel content and I don't see it. Yeah, I saw that too. That's what I'm saying. So I put it up.

It's on our stories. You talk about a squirrel, you need to show the squirrel. Yeah, maybe we'll have to put it on the grid because by the time this episode airs, the story will have expired. So we'll make sure that that baby squirrel clutching to a power cable is memorialized on our grid.

Okay, well that squirrel is clutching to that power line like some of these cast members are clutching to fame. It's the summer house finale. Lexi and Jesse making a go at the most dramatic storyline that nobody cares about on this show. Or maybe some people care about it. I've stopped caring. I feel like my climate... Last week, I was like, this is an amazing episode.

I love what's going on here. I was just wrapped up in the drama. This week, I was like, this is an amazing episode. I love what's going on here. I was just wrapped up in the drama this week. I was like, Okay, I'm done with it. Yeah, I'm pushing my limit with the Lexi and Jesse thing. You've known each other for five minutes. This is too much, ma'am. Yeah, yeah, it's too much. It's over. Let's start out. We're still at the freedom dinner. And which is still my favorite thing of the whole season. Congratulations to me for being a favorite. And Lexi has just said to Sierra, I'm sorry, like after everything I've heard, I don't trust you. Like, I'm sorry, I just don't trust you.

And Sierra just gives us look like, what's your name? Like who the fuck is this person? She's like, do you feel like I've been mean to you? No, I think you're just like, I think you're like very different. Like I'm very light-hot and sometimes like you're like, you can be kind of like, let me suss it out. And I love that.

Like I love how you're like suss, suss, suss, suss, suss, you know, but like, I feel like things I've like heard all summer, it's like you guys are like taking it too far. And she's like weird, okay? Like, and I say this as someone who has a mom and a sister in the next room listening in on this conversation. I just think that what you're doing is weird.

Yeah, like I'm saying that as someone who like talks about like sex videos with her mom. Someone posted on Reddit something from the six to nine or six and nine podcast, what she does with her mom, where they're talking about how they both have sex tapes and like how they help each other with their sex tapes and like giving each other advice on their sex tapes and stuff.

This is one odd fucking family, man. Really, really is. Really weird family. And so now she's blaming Sierra for not being able to bond with her all summer because of what Jesse was saying, which I kind of see what she's saying because there is Jesse being a douche bag, but there's also Lexi coming in and immediately attaching herself to a man and ignoring the women all summer, which is also what happened.

So there is time in the day to be with the the hunk that you're attracted to and also to talk to the people in The house like you can actually do both. I will not call Jesse a hunk. I Will not give you that hunk. He's a douchebag, but I think he's a hunk. No, give him a hug I won't especially after his high school picture last last was not Pictures you just shouldn't give to production Someone had to give that picture to production. Someone thought that was OK. And his name was Jesse.

OK, you ruined it. Yeah. Yeah, but I do. But that being said, I think that Lexi is advocating a lot of her own personal responsibility in this situation to actually talk with other people in the house. I do think, though, that Jesse does

get off on pitting the girls against each other in this case. And I, so I, I think that sort of both sides are true in this debate. So Jesse's like, so do you think she wasn't able to bond with you guys because of me or like, what are you saying? And she's like, yeah, yeah, I do think that. And Paige is like, I mean, did you actually isolate her? No. But you know, when you meet someone dot dot dot, and Jesse's like, but she's saying it was intentional. And Gabby jumps in with

I'm gonna stop worrying about your perception for a second. Gabby just got her martini. She's just like making little barbs with everybody like, Pete Slauson Yeah, she's over this entire thing. And Sierra's like, I totally get you and Jesse are numbered with each other. But like, did you make yourself fully, fully available to us also? No, that's why I sent Tiffany in to be me. Remember all those conversations you had with me? It was Tiffany all the time. Don't you understand? That's how we do it. Sierra's like, well, I think that's like what that,

I think that's what was kind of different between y'all's relationship and me and Wes relationship because he made himself available to everyone outside of what we're doing, which is why he was really popular and you're like, not popular with the audience, you know? Yeah, she's like, listen, I had friends here still that I kept up with and so did Wes. It wasn't just all about the couple. And Lex is like, um, you were like 100% right? And I was probably like not being like 100% Jesse, leave me alone so I can talk to the other girls. So that was my fault. But like I connected with him and I really liked you. Hence why I fought for our relationship like for the last month, even after I've been clowned. Yeah. Preach. So Wes is like, um, what changed from when you dumped him like two weeks ago?

Well, I'm like breaking up with him because I just can't trust him. Yeah, the trust is gone. Yeah, like when my friends are asking me, who are you dating and like what's going on in your life? And I'm literally embarrassed to say Tiffany, I are dating you because like you've treated me like shit for half of our relationship. But like half of your relationship is literally like three weeks. So I mean, this is really just a lot for such a short. Yeah, it's a lot. And I had to remind myself that this is because she's just found out

that Jesse told everybody that the reason Lexi broke up with him was because she was pissed off with see about Sierra stuff and got jealous about the US Open, which looked like absolute bullshit because last week we saw her break up with him and she's like, I don't want, I don't want to be with someone I can't trust. So then he went to the house and was like, well, she broke up with me because of Sierra stuff. And so it looked like a total fucking lie. But at the end of the last episode, I was thinking,

it sounds like something Lexi would say, which we find out at the end of this episode that Lexi did in fact say it in a different conversation, but that she was trying to keep that off camera and Jesse didn't give a shit because she broke up with him. So he put it on camera. So it's all kind of confusing because of what's happened on camera and what's happened off. But I understand she's confronting him

over making it sound like her breakup thing was anything other than I can't trust you. So I have to give her a little grace there until we get to the end and we find out that she did say all that stuff. I don't think she's 100% entitled to be like, I'm breaking up with you because I don't trust you. Because I think that Jesse is a slippery motherfucker

and I'm glad she noticed it very quickly. So, and I'll be- So Brittany, she didn't say any of the Sierra stuff when she did, she did in fact say it. Yeah, she's like a little bit more cold bull than she lets on, but I still put most of the blame on Jesse. And I am happy for her. The only person I'm happier for is Paige,

who's sitting there like, oh my God, this is kind of like the best night of all time. This is amazing. Paige is loving it. Paige is fucking loving it. And so Jessie's like, oh, I haven't treated you like shit. I mean, yeah, yeah, you have. And she's like, but you like lie by omission,

if not lie fully. So yeah, it's like a lot of kinds of lying and you're sneaky and like, you don't want to be my friends. You only want me to yourself because you'd like to suffocate me. Okay. Okay. And I think he doesn't want to meet your friends because he's out with you and your parents

every single night. Like, do you ever do anything alone? I mean, I even hate standing up for Jesse. They're both annoying. They're just both annoying. Yeah. One of those is the quagmire because it's like the, we were just talking about the Valley.

And so if you get annoyed with one person, in that case, Janet, it's almost like you're kind of sticking up for the other person, in that case, Danny. And I'm not sticking up for Danny. And in this case, I'm not sticking up for Jesse. I'm just saying, Lexi, you are highly annoying. Jesse's a douchebag and you are also highly annoying.

I need you both to stop. They both kind of want to suffocate each other in different ways. And she doesn't like that he's doing all the suffocating because she wants to suffocate him with her friends and family and he wants to suffocate her with just him and his smile. So she's like, that's not fair that you only get

to suffocate me, I want to suffocate you too. And Lindsay's sitting there, she has this spoon and she just making these things, she's like, it's like her short circuiting is like, it's breaking. It's like too much freedom for her to take in right now. So West is trying to stand up for Jesse and he's like, okay, so you're saying that he wants to hang out with you too much, but like, he's also suffocating you. Yeah. West. Both things can happen. Yes. Both things can be true. Sure.

And Gabby like, shut up West. Which is great. West is like, but it contradicts himself. And she goes, and then Paige is like, no, no West speak up. Come on, speak up. Cause I think Paige wants West to fall into a trap because I've never heard Paige be ever interested in West speaking up. Also, can we stop acting like this is a moment

of personal growth for West for him saying a few sentences at the dinner table. They're like, you can do it. Speak up, say it, you're almost there. And West is like, in this house, Jesse's relationship with everyone beside you and Emeril have a year's worth of ground. And Lex is like, okay, great.

She's like, amazing, a year, a whole year? Wow, wow, you guys really know each other a long time. And he's like, well, it's longer than a few weeks. And so Gabby's like, oh, Wes, oh, Wes. And he's kind of annoyed with her. He's like, the fucking ad libs with you. Like, can I just talk? And she's like, mm-hmm.

So just because he knows his girls more, he gets to say more shit and gets to run his mouth. And West is like, yeah, like every, and he's just telling us, but he's like, at this point, everyone has had their relationships scrutinized except for Gabby. She's like had three years of coasting and talking about nothing personal, so.

That's because A, I feel like none of you actually talk to her and B, she doesn't have a relationship. Like you can't fault her, you can't fault her for like not opening about her relationship when she has none, okay? She tried, remember Danielle Cock blocked her. So Lexi is like, yeah, but I can see that. I can see the side of like, why does this person

always get to have a comment about every fucking thing so strongly but never shares anything? Cause that's what goes on on the other shows all the time. You know, yeah, but West does the same thing. West West goes and he hooks up with someone else, you know, outside the house and he slinks back. So I don't know. I just don't want to hear it from West. Anyone else can say it. I don't want to hear it from West with Gabby. So I'm just going to come up with it.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what logic you throw at me. I'm just going to be like, no, I reject it from you, West. So West still sucks for sure. Yeah. Lexi's like, Gabby's right. And I would like you to stop stirring the pot, especially in the last weekend. Let us try to make an effort in the final weekend and he's trying to stop it.

You're trying to guarantee that you'll have a spot next season at the last second after you've blown this storyline. Yeah. So then, um, then they're like, okay, fine. We're done. So they're all like hugging. Kyle hugs Lexi and then Lexi turns to Wes and is like, baby, fine, we're done. So they're all like hugging. Kyle hugs Lexi and then Lexi turns to Wes and is like, baby, shut the fuck up.

You talk more than Gabby, so shut the fuck up. He's like, whoa. And then Sierra is like, no, you can say whatever you want. Okay, cause he only talks that much one-on-one, not in a group setting. But in the context of this conversation, he was doing a good job. So, Wes, I'm gonna give you a compliment. You said a few things at the dinner table

and that ends your storyline for the season. And Gavin's like, well, I'm not giving credit for mediocrity. So, sure. And Paige goes, and don't forget, Carl's free too. So, they all start laughing. it's like, yeah, well, what I'm hoping for after the Freedom Dinner is that I'm free from talking about this dinner and break up ever again. Even though I've talked about it all season, like I'm the biggest fucking victim in the world and overcame, you know, the greatest hardship of all,

named Lindsay, the pestilence called Lindsay. All right, so, yeah, well, Lindsay and I were definitely not going back to the friendship we had before. Like she can do her thing and I can do mine and like, yeah. So now Jesse and Paige are sitting out while the boys are getting ready to go out for boys night. And Paige is like, I really hate you, Jesse.

I mean, it could have been way worse. Like, you know, I'm always for the girls and you didn't fuck another girl or like cheat on her. Like technically cheat on her. I her, like technically cheat on her. I mean, you totally cheated on her. He's like, yeah, I know I didn't have malicious intent. Like, sorry, I was obsessed with you. Yeah, you just went too quick, too hard.

It just was more than we all could handle and I'm glad you learned your lesson and maybe humiliated yourself along the way. And he's like, yeah, I definitely learned my lesson. So then Sierra walks by, she's like, what, so you don't like me? Is that what's going on? He's like, no, that's not what I said.

I said, I'm so glad Sierra and I are friends again. Yeah, what does anyone understand when I say? Yeah, and he's like, oh, don't touch my arm. Just kidding, just kidding. Stop flirting with me, just kidding, bad joke, bad joke. So they're laughing and the guys get ready to go out and Lexi is like, Oh my God, like I don't even want to sleep in my room because like every time I've slept in here, Jesse's like been in here.

So Lindsay calls Turner and she's like dinner was great. And that was it. And then Lexi is talking to Gabby and she's like, she's like, it just like makes me like sad that like my summer has been like for Jesse and to be like over the end of it just like is a bummer. And Gabby's like, yeah, that sucks, but we're going to get better. We're going to have such a fun weekend. Apparently our party's at capacity. It's going to be the best weekend ever that America is not going to see because we have

to cut away to see Lindsay's updates and Paige's updates at the end of the episode. Thank God. I loved it. I was better than the whole season that last scene. I was like, this, this is what I need. So, um, Lexi's like, um, yeah, well, Jesse probably invited his entire like sorority. Which he did, by the way. Yes, she did. So then, um, it's bedtime. The girls are going to bed and stuff. And Sierra and Paige are talking about their ideal man. And Sierra's like, physical features only. I don't know if I need to hear this, Sierra, because you've been with Jesse. No, you haven't been with Jesse. You chose West

and Austin. And he was the other one. She liked Corey too. Didn't she like Corey? Maybe she had a passing interest in him. I don't remember I think she's just really into like a melting candle kind of looking guy Whether it's tall or short really leathery early early leathery guy Yeah So pages like oh, this is really easy I like six three and above longer hair in a suit. Doesn't sew, lives anywhere but Charleston. Name has more than one syllable and I'm not in a relationship

with him already. My, my type is anyone but Craig. Doesn't take me to Australian food and make me kangaroo while I'm trying to break up with him. That's my type. This isn't a physical trait, but it would be super nice to date a guy that didn't refer to me as poultry. I would like a guy who doesn't want to make me sit next to a cricket machine for the rest of our relationship and also take care of bees.

Would also be nice to find a guy who didn't call out or who didn't call Coke Adderall because it's very confusing when I'm going out. Um, Sierra, question for you. How many times genuinely do you think you've been in love? She was, well, I've only told one person I'm in love with them. Oh, I told all my boyfriends I was in love with them. But you know what? Looking back, it wasn't love.

I just like really loved my life and they just were there. Anyway, great night. So romantic. So her tour is starting in 10 days and she's, you know, been more anxious than excited. So she's mad at herself and she's going to like try and stop thinking, is Craig okay? Is Craig mad about it? Is Craig dead yet? I wonder if Craig's dead. I wonder if Craig accidentally took that cyanide pill that I left in his vitamins that morning. Oh God, should I look at the rain cam? I hope my plan to train the bees to attack Craig one day actually pans out because that

was a lot of effort to train them like that. I hope that coding all of Craig's underwear and bee pollen works out. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.

So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.

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that made Birkenstock the best selling sandals since Jesus. And made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention span. Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor. So everyone comes back from a night of partying.

Kyle tries to sneak into his bedroom with Amanda. He's making creaking noises. That's pretty funny. This is one of those moments where I'm like, you know, we just watch a valley, which is all about, oh my God, is he an alcoholic? And I brought up Kyle, please just let Kyle be. Cause watching Kyle squeak on one piece of wood and then walk to not squeak on another piece, to not wake Amanda up one night was good. It was a good scene. Yeah. And, um, West, uh,

there was some talk at the end of the episode of sort of like, is this the end? So sort of suggesting maybe the old guard might be retiring from summer house soon. And if that does happen, it's good to see West taking on the late night binge roll that Kyle has. This week was not a muffin. There was no muffin man, but West did find Carl's rejected sandwiches by the forgotten sandwiches and brought Carl's soft sandwiches into the bedroom. And he brought that discarded soft sandwiches into the room. The thing with West is it's not as fun

because West isn't a late night bender, he's just a binge bender. It's like all day. With Kyle, Kyle just has to be shit faced. But West is just all day, like bring him on. Well, because Kyle also like, steadiously works on his body. He like jogs and he's got like,

Kyle has like a really good body, but then late at night he's like, ugh, my goodness. Yeah. Yeah. Carl has like a really good body, but then late at night, he's like, uh, my goodness. But I would say West is my goal body. West has a nice body actually. Yeah, West is my goal body. West has a nice husky muscle. Yeah, I like seeing like someone who's not, you know,

like totally skinny and too worked out and also eats. It's like, that's nice. It's hot. But it's West. I mean, not West. I'm not saying West. I'm just saying. Like that's nice. It's hot. But it's West. I mean, not West. I'm not saying West. I'm just saying like, that's my ideal body type. Cause the girls talked about it, okay?

Leave me alone. Girl talk. So then it's the morning, Emeril is on this episode actually, and he has woken up and he has a little boner in his underwear and he's wearing that kind of underwear that kind of like puts a pocket around your dick. So it like accentuates it. But in his case, it just looks like a little bird beak

sticking out. I was like, didn't need to see that, but there it is. And then Gabby's like- Yeah, who does, who wears those underwear? I have those underwear too. I don't wear them all the time, but I have some like this where they put the seam right down the middle of your wiener and then they, they put the little corner

on it and it's supposed to make your wiener look bigger I think, but you know, wieners are odd things and they move in different directions. Like your wiener could be like this big in one minute and this big the next minute, or hiding inside of you or sideways. Like you don't know what it's gonna do. Sometimes it's an L.

It's just an L like a pig wiener. You never know what it's gonna do. And so those underwear don't always work out right. And this was an example of that. His wiener was like pointing one way and the scene was pointing the other way and it just looked like They're trying to high-five two different people Every time I've seen those those types of underwear

Styles on like a website like on it like an underwear website I just always feel like they look very beaky. They look very pointy It doesn't doesn't you don't look at him be like whoa that guy's got a package It just looks like a strange kind of like triangle, like a weird point. Like a, yeah, it's just, it doesn't, at least as I've seen it advertised, it hasn't really. It can't, but when your wiener is in the right mood,

they look great. Oh, okay. It just depends on the mood of your wiener, like everything. Yeah, like so much of life. So Gabby, meanwhile, has her own issues. She's like, I slept so hard, meanwhile, has her own issues. She's like, I slept so hard, my pimple patch creased.

And I have to say the trend of the pimple patches are, it's kind of funny. Like a girl got on the airplane the other day and she had so many little blue stars all over her face. I'm like, you know, at some point, this is kind of a lateral move, right? Like this is, Like at some point this is kind of a lateral move, right? Like this is- Temples are better. It's like, it's like you're like, I don't want people to see that I have something,

I have blemishes on my face. So I'm just gonna put giant stars on all over my face instead and I will totally fit in. Okay, so now it's like breakfast time and Jesse doesn't want to get out of bed. I have to hang out with a girl who dumped me yesterday. Whatever. You invited like a whole busload of thoughts over.

You'll be fine. Yeah. It's like, I can't believe how this is going to end. I mean, you know, I'd rather have, you know, I'd rather Lexi thinks I'd rather have loved and then lost and never have loved at all But now that sounds dumb as shit. I just want to hook up. I'd rather be like hey, you look sexy. Let's fuck, you know Yeah, I'm not gonna feel bad for you. Jesse you dug your own fucking grave with an extremely obnoxious person. So So now everyone's gathering in the kitchen and eating and emerald went to get sandwiches

all that good stuff. And then Amanda, take your sandwiches. Yes, sorry, I was gonna say Jesse sings and he goes, good morning, good morning, it's time to wake up in the morning, my sweet fellow. And Gabby goes, that's a bit much, because yeah, well, it's just what my mom sang to me in every day of my life. She just explains a lot. Yes, it does.

That explains your inflated sense of self, sir. Okay. So when people tell me don't blame the mother, watch this scene. Yeah. Yeah. Watch singing that song until he's like 28. No, that's not. So yeah, Amanda brings sandwiches to Sarah and Paige in bed. She's like,

can I be part of Giggly squad? No, no more mail, please. Then, uh, Lexi goes to check in on Lexi. Cause I feel like one thing that we have, people are not really talking about is how like Lindsey and Gabby are like clearly grooming Lexi to be on their own bed click. They're like, I want you to be part of it so you can join our side of the house. Because I know everyone's like down with Lindsay now. I do not think this is a permanent relationship

with Paige and Lindsay. I think the ceasefire will end and they will be back at war soon enough. Oh, I hope not. Cause I love seeing them as friends. They're so much more fun to watch as friends. But Lexi's in there doing her hair very dramatically. She's like,

Ah! So she's like, are you okay, Lexi? She's like, I'm just overwhelmed, because it's not a normal situation that you live with someone you dated within three seconds. Girl, it's one day, and you broke up with him yesterday. You could have faked it until today. I can't with legs anymore. I'm done with Lexi. Is Lexi going to be back next year? Yes or no.

What do you think? I think she will because she has a lot of Instagram followers and I think Bravo cares about that. So I'm going to say yes. Yeah. So Lindsay is like, cause she's saying like, it's really hard cause Jesse is like, like the only person that she really became friends with. And so she doesn't, she normally would go running to him with his shoes and now she can't.

So she just feels really lonely. And Lindsay's like, well, maybe just trying not to look in his direction at all. Just pretend he doesn't exist. It's like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. You're not going to escape him. Every time you think you got away, you're just going to see teeth in front of you. My God, she's here we go again.

Trey Lockerbie So now everyone's setting up this party outside, which is like death themed, a lot of like room reapers, like scary Halloween ish, etc. And then guess who shows up? Everyone's favorite passenger on the Li double R. It's Danielle. Daniel That's Danielle, that bundle of positivity. You know, your life is over. Right, Lindsay? Here's Danielle. And she's like, Oh my god, and Jeremy stole me afternoon. As a founder and CEO, I get out of my jammies at 8am every morning, no matter what time of year, founder CEO.

By the way, I broke up with them Jessie and she's like, um, again, I'm a sassy girlfriend. I'm basically like a Miranda and a Samantha all mixed up together. So then, um, uh, Sierra trips downstairs and then everyone like page and Sierra like cuddle under her comforter on the sofa while everyone's setting things up. And then there are these like tombstones that they can customize for the party. So Danielle is Danielle goes to Lindsay. She goes, Oh, you know what you can write on your tombstone, Lindsay? Death to your vagina as you know it. And he's like,

um, no, thank you. Please don't advertise that on national TV. Why is Lindsay friends with Danielle? Like I could see why she was before when Danielle was like kissing her butt all the time. But Danielle's just horrible, that like get rid of her. Why are you even inviting her over here? If someone said that to me right before I had a baby, girl. Yeah. So then Lexi makes a tombstone and it says, here lies Jesse's lies. July 4th, August 30th. So people are getting dressed up, they're getting makeup and everything. They're getting into like costumes. People are arriving.

I do feel kind of bad for Lexi on this topic because she's trying to make her breakup this season finale thing, which is why she held it to season finale weekend. And she's like trying to make it this big drama and nobody cares. It's like nobody cares. Like, okay, well that was a fun dinner.

Lexi, dump Jesse. All right, let's make tombstones. Like nobody cares. Like, okay, well, that was a fun dinner. Lexi dumped Jesse. All right, let's make tombstones. Like nobody cares. And she's trying to make this tombstone that's like this big burn and everyone's like, oh, yeah, great. Great tombstone. Lexi. Yeah. But it is kind of worth it because it's really funny to see Jesse's smile turned into the trapezoid. Like that's kind of my favorite thing. He's like, uh, so then, uh, everyone showed people show up Sierra, her thing, her scary costume is that she is going to be basically like, like, like a white guy day trader or, or someone who works in finance and he's got cocaine under the nose, blonde hair, et cetera. And West is like, I don't understand what's, I

don't get it. She's like, I don't have to explain why it's scary. Okay, you know why it's scary. Okay, look outside, read the New York Times. I'm scary. So Jesse comes down and says, hi, Lindsay's dressed as a handmaids, which is perfect from the handmaids' tables. Love that.

And they're joking, like, Paige is pitting West in the coffin. It's hilarious. So Danielle tells Lindsay, so Danielle, Lindsay and Kyle are sitting there and Danielle's like, oh my God, the coffin. It's hilarious. So Danielle tells Lindsey, so Danielle, Lindsey and Kyle are sitting there and Danielle's like, oh my God, you guys, I love us. This has been like the best summer. Look at all the fun times we've had.

Like let's list off my best moments. That was fun. They rolled the clip. That was so much fun, you guys. This has been the best summer. I'm so glad we had another summer where I'm another full cast member. This has been great.

Yeah, I'm like so glad we're doing this, you guys. Like it's been amazing being an entire, like whole full cast member. The whole summer is like the another full cast member. This has been great. I'm like so glad we're doing this you guys like it's been amazing being an entire like whole full cast member the whole summer is like the time of our lives like these are the best days of our lives. All right guys. Personally I can like keep doing this I'm not gonna lie I'm like a freak I could like do this for the next like 40 years of my life you know and Daniel's like yeah but it kind of feels like an end it truly does like um Just go you got fired from the show doesn't mean that where we are gonna quit in solid. I know Daniel's trying to make everybody's retirement party like girl you got fired already. What are you even doing here?

I'm sure he's trying to create like yeah, she's trying to create like a series finale moment. It's like no no You're going to help we're getting we're riding the train as long as we can and you don't, no, no, we're going to hold. We're riding the train as long as we can and you don't get to tell us when we're kicked off. You're not rewriting history. You're already fired. You may be coming to terms with it today, but it happened a year ago. So bye. Yeah, but it kind of just like feels like the end. It truly does. Nope, not the end for me. Baby baby will party, not a problem for me. We will be doing Shon's off the baby's belly button next summer.

Hmm? And Carl, I mean, but you know, like at a certain point, you gotta stop pissing in bushes and eating muffins, you know what I mean? Yeah, but you know, you kind of have to like hang up the cleats. And remember, I just want to remind you guys all, I do love us, okay? I love us. And they're like, No, what cleats and remember, I just want to remind you guys all I do love us. Okay. I love us and they're like

No, what cleats? Yeah, you like to think there's a new chapter brewing somewhere Yeah, you're delusional like lindsey or delulu if you think this is not an ending you are like delulu It's a roll the credits roll it is over sponsored by ubereats It's over. It's like Delulo. It's a roll the credits, roll it, it's over. Sponsored by Uber Eats. It's over, it's done. Could someone bring in Green Day so we can sing that song? You and I, the best time of our lives.

Okay, that's a wrap. Danielle just trying to pretend that her ending wasn't fucking the balloon twisty animal guy at the last part. Sorry, your ending was already written. Daniel really thinks she's having a full circle moment, like, look at us, three of us, three of the OGs, just here together to wish us all well

and go off to being adults. And they're like, mm-mm, nope, nope, nope, no ending here, nope. So Lindsay's like, oh my, I'm going through the process, I'm going through an identity crisis, like, what am I gonna do for money? Like, where am I gonna live in the summer? Like, what am I going to where am I going to live in the summer? Am I going to even leave New York City? Who's Turner? Is Turner even real? I don't know.

Are there babysitters in the Hamptons? Because if there are, I am back next season. No problem. Yeah, this will not be an issue. I mean, Paige leaves her cat in the apartment. Can I leave a baby in my apartment? I mean, all I need is a ring cam, right? I don't know. Daniel's like, no, well, it's a beginning for you and everyone's next chapter looks different. And you know, for a new chapter to begin,

an old one has to end and this one is ending right now. No, it's not, stop it. So they've hired a scare guy to come, you know, like one of those not slamby, not slandering, not scary, John Pan arc. So John Pan arc to come and scare people. Was that the one she was on? So there's a scary guy coming around to scare people. And Wes is like, is Gabby twerking on the scary guy?

And sure enough, they showed the guy trying to scare everybody and Gabby's just like dancing ass up against this guy. And then Jesse is flirting with the girl. He's like, hey, are you guys cousins? Sisters? Nice. Hey, did your mom ever sing? Good morning, good morning, good morning to my sweet guy.

Wow, Jesse is really getting right back into it. He's douching all over one, two, three, four blondes, four blonde people. And Lex is like, and then the girls are like, Oh my god, Jesse, do you have like, do you have like two seats to go back to the car back to the city tomorrow? Because we will literally do anything for this. You know, yeah, you guys need a ride. You're so pretty. I'd do anything for you.

How's this guy only 28? He seems like someone's dad every time. Like in that scene in a couple of weeks ago, when he was doing like pushups by the pool, he was trying to like do pool pushups. He has like his like dad bod doing pushups. He's just such a dad. How was he so young? Yeah, I really don't. I really don't know. So now Lexi and Jesse are talking in the kitchen and like, are you good? And he's like, he's like, yeah, I don't even know how to have a non negative conversation with you. And she's like, yeah. He's like, I mean, we started this summer so strong, we can end strong.

And she goes, well, I just decided I don't plan on having a friendship with you anytime soon. He's like, what? Now, where'd that come from? I mean- She's trying to have her moment. Like her finale is over. Like she's been trying to have this huge finale fight and he's not giving it to her.

And so she's going to try again in the middle of this party. So she's like, okay, well, I'm not being piano. I'm not even going to be friends with you. Now I'm breaking up as friends. It's like, Lexi, give it up, girl. It's just not working. Nobody cares. Yeah, like I support her breaking up with him for sure. A hundred percent. Cause he is like, she can't trust him. But then all of a sudden now she's going to be like, I'm not not gonna be friends with you. Is it because she saw him flirting with girls and she's like, I want to prove to America that I'm not the jealous person that Jesse says I am by revoking our friendship because he was talking to other girls. Pete Slauson Yeah, I think she's just trying to have a big finale moment and he's not giving

it to her. So, she's just poking. She's like, I mean, like, since we broke up, like, five minutes ago, there's been like so much deception since five minutes ago. Like, right mean, like, since we broke up, like five minutes ago, there's been like so much deception since five minutes ago. Like right now, that's just not what friendship that I'm looking for. I mean, that's been a lot of short term deception after long term deception. How weird, again, I'm largely on Lexi's side, but where's the deception? What other deception happened since then? I'm no longer on Lexi's side. Lexi's full of shit, Lexi's thirsty,

and I'm done with her. I'm done with Jesse too. I'm not on his side either. I'm choosing no sides in this. They're both annoying. But she's, at this point, she's upping the annoyance factor more than Jesse. At least Jesse's just trying to move on, you know?

And she's like, I mean, now we're breaking up as friends. So, pick them. Yeah, I just didn't understand this move. Unless the only way it makes sense is what you said. Like she's just trying to have a reality show moment. But I'm like, why are you like, I don't understand why I had to get to this point really. It's just such a stupid relationship in the first place. And she he's like, I mean, the way we broke up was so peaceful and so amicable. Like, I would have loved to continue that energy. And she's like,

I did continue that energy and then you got the house involved. I didn't get the house involved. I only got Tiffany and my mom and my dad involved. Right, mom? Her mom's under the counter. She's like, You're doing great, honey. I didn't get the house involved.

Yeah, he's like, I didn't want to make the house involved. Yes, you did. Yes, you fucking did, Jesse. Okay, none of Lexi's being annoying makes you less of a douche, okay? Yes, you did do it. And he's like, well, I went up to my room

to make sure I didn't say anything. You waited until everyone came to your room and then you told them all shit, Jesse. Yeah, exactly. And he's like, yeah, and I mean, I apologize for slipping up and saying one little thing to Sierra. One little thing. Oh yeah, like he blames our whole breakup on you. One little thing. I mean, aside from the chose sucking, I was honest. So then Lexi, then we find

out another small crinkle in this cookie, which is Lexi says, well, there's not based on facts because you didn't tell again the other half of the story and that's not fair because this past weekend I said it would have been nice to ask me to the US Open because you knew I was doing nothing on Monday and it was disheartening and I just don't want to keep having to teach you. So he invited Sierra to the US Open instead of Lexi. What do you think about that? I kind of think that like if you're in a tenuous place with your girlfriend, I think you do invite your girlfriend to the US Open before you invite Sierra, especially if Sierra is at like

some of the heart of the issues. Yeah, but I think it's also proving what he said was true that she said, because he said she was mad that he went to the US Open with Sierra. And she's like, why are you inviting Sierra? Like you're mad at her. And now all of a sudden, you're like best friends with her. Like, one minute you don't like her and now you're suddenly cool with her. Like I'm not cool with that after how she treated me and Wes this whole summer, you're going to the US Open with her.

So now I believe that she did say that, but I believe it was in the context of like, you know I wanted to go to the US Open and instead you take Sierra, who you don't even like supposedly, and who's been mean to me and Lex, or Wes this whole summer, and you take her instead of me to the US Open.

So I think it lends credence to him saying that she said all of that stuff, but it puts it in the context of she actually wanted to go, and he ditched her for Sierra. So I would say that she kind of is getting caught here, but also she has right to be pissed that he took Sierra to the US Open instead of her. Trey Lockerbie I think what I said in our last episode,

I forget what I said. I said it I think nicely and now I don't remember how succinctly and cleanly I said it. But I think like no doubt she brought up Sierra, but I don't know if it was as malicious as Jesse presented it to the rest of the housemates as. And and so I think for sure if she's like, um, hello, I'm your girlfriend. And I just said, I'm uncomfortable. Like how much you've been flirting with Sierra and then like, I want to go to the U S open. This is a cool thing. And then you don't invite me invite Sierra instead. Like, what the fuck? And then like you guys are having issues and there's no issues

with me. So why aren't you inviting me? But then she turns around and the whole argument she's like, I never brought up Sierra. I never said any of that stuff whole argument, she's like, I never brought up Sierra. I never said any of that stuff, which now it's like. Well, she said in the breakup, she didn't bring it up as reason why. Well, in that breakup scene. But clearly it was part of the picture. I don't know.

Yeah. Stupid. So stupid. So stupid. Trying to have to like get into their minds of what they really said and what they really meant and what they each heard From each other is it's so silly Time I'm just gonna say yes

He's a douchebag who did everything wrong in this relationship And she's still fucking annoying and coming for Sierra on and off camera and ways that are gross that she's not fully living up She's not fully admitting to you 100%. Commercials, here comes one right now. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle

the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie.

Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. So, um, she's like, he's so, he's like, he's like, but that's like opens up the whole relationship. Well, we were trying to like paint me and the girls against each other. Like you've been unintent, quote unquote, unintentionally doing all summer. I'm like, I'm a girl's girls, which is why I was so supportive of another girl going to the US Open.

I'm such a girl's girl. Have we heard Lexi ask one of the other girls about how they're doing? No. Have we heard Lexi ever say to Paige, how are you and Craig? Or have we ever heard her say to Sierra, how is it feeling with you in West?

Or have we ever heard her saying to Amanda, what's up with you and Kyle? You guys doing okay? I don't think we've ever heard it. We've seen Lexi's kind of group situations talking about Jesse to the other girls, but I don't, I wouldn't say Lexi is the biggest girl's girl, like running around to check on the other girls. And let me, let me enter something else in evidence for all the talk about like you prevented me from getting to know the other girls. And as much as she says she's a girl's girl, okay, by the way, just cause you hang out with like Tiffany and your mom all the time does not

make you a girl's girl. Just means you're like very into your family. Like all the stories we hear off camera are, Oh, like West saying, Oh, I went out with Jesse and Lexi. Oh, uh, Oh, Jesse's mad because Lexi and West were dancing and Lexi propped up West. Like, like clearly there's room for other people to hang out with Lexi. It were dancing and Lexi propped up West. Like, clearly there's room for other people to hang out with Lexi. It's largely West. But the point is all the stories of Lexi hanging

with people outside of Jesse seem to be just the other guys. And so when she says she's a girl's girl, I don't know because all the stories are not about how she has reached out and hung out with other girls. So it's just been West and other men. Yeah, so Jesse's like, well, I encouraged you to hang out with the girls. You know, you could have done that. Like you're calling, you're going after my character and saying I smothered you. And she's like,

you're coming after my character all summer. You are like, you're saying I'm jealous like all summer, which is true. She's got a point. And he's like, well, we're on a fucking reality show. I'm just talking about my feelings. Like, sorry, you know, watch the show back and you'll see how much I cared. And she's just, you watch the show back and you'll see how much lip liner I wear. But that being said,

she has escalated like this from a, from a relationship breakup to a friendship breakup after she saw Jesse talking to other girls. So, and then she's like, I can't believe you would say I'm a jealous person. So then they're like, whatever. So they start partying and Jesse goes right back to flirting with other girls. And I'm not saying it's okay that he's flirting

with other girls, cause it is kind of disrespectful and it is passive aggressive, but he's right back. He's right into the mix there, flirting with other girls. And he brings them inside and Sierra does this whole thing where she like sweeps them out. She's like, I'm gonna sweep out the mess with her little broom.

Cause he's flirting with one girl really hard and she's like, okay, yeah, this girl is really a girl's girl. Just kidding, she's a fucking whore and I'm getting her out of my house. It's not cool that he's flirting with this girl right in front of Jesse. So she stands up for Lexi and gets the girls out. And then Amanda's like, oh my God, if I saw him flirting with girls, I would be really pissed.

Yeah. Cause Amanda's now lying down in a coffin and Paige is like, as much as I love everyone, I just want you guys to know I would never survive without you two. Although I've had to choose one, it's Sierra. Sorry, Amanda. And Amanda's like, oh, that's okay. Kyle said he doesn't want me depressed in the fall and the winter, but I'm like, I feel like I'm depressed when I'm without you guys. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you guys.

Well, you're gonna go home and you are going to marinate in your decisions. His name is Kyle. Look at him over there. He's like, uh, uh, uh, uh. Page is like, you know what we should actually do is a FaceTime call like once a week

so we can gossip and catch up. I just love you guys so much. By the way, I just want you to know that I'm unavailable for a FaceTime call until next summer. Okay, bye. Please don't call me.

So then the screens all turn off and everybody goes to bed. And Lindsey's like, I mean, usually I'm like, thank God this summer is over. Oh my god, Carl's balls are must be like sweating so bad because his pants are so tight. But this is the first summer. Like I'm actually like sad to go home. This was like my little bubble of happiness before shit gets real and like, shit's getting

real now. Wait a second. That wasn't my goodbye speech. No, no, don't turn off the cameras. No. I told you roll the credit. Roll the credits over. Get the hook.

Get the hook. I made a tombstone everybody. Lindsay's TV career. So then the last screen goes off, which is Lindsay's face, you know, because they would do that at the end of every season. They shut down all the security cameras. But now three months later, December 5th, 8.02 PM, Lindsay's heading into the hospital for the labor and delivery department.

Where's the Marshall signage? I said this hospital had to put up. It's part of my influence. I felt bad for her because it was sad watching her go to the hospital all alone. She gets off the elevator and she just looks like she doesn't know which way to go. I mean, I need someone there with you being like, here we go, honey, sit in this wheelchair. Here's your McDonald's. Yeah, you're right.

You know, I didn't feel bad for her because she does everything. Lindsay's sort of evolved into this person who's like, I can do anything by myself. I don't care. I'll go to the hospital by myself. You know? I mean, I'm like that, you know, but I would be like, well, wait, no one McDonald's. She's like, I feel like you get McDonald's when you go have a baby, right? Is that just in my head?

Someone brings you McDonald's and tells you everything's going to be okay. And puts you in a wheelchair, even though you don't want to be and calls the ambulance, even if you don't need one, you know, come on. If I knew there was Free McDonald's involved with getting pregnant, I would have found a way to turn myself into Arnold Schwarzenegger in junior like 10 years ago. You can do it now.

It's 2025, babe. I support you. Give me that Free McDonald's, okay? Just a biatch. Just a. Yeah. She goes to the hospital and she has her baby. And so we see her with her little baby

And she's like, I mean, you know when your parents are like, I've never felt the love or you know when parents say generally That you know, they've never felt like love like a baby like my baby is so cute It's like a true other parents are stupid and I like my babies are really cute. My baby was born asking for a rosie really cute. My baby was born asking for a rosie. I was so proud because my baby came out of the womb and was like two for one at Marshall's Best Deal in Town. I was like, oh my god, I'm so proud that it came out with an endorsement. Um, I would just like to announce announce my baby is a Max and Esma. So now Monday, December 30th. So Lindsay gets all of three seconds of like, just had a baby. Sorry, Monday, December 30th. Paige DeSoro though, and Craig Conover have called it quits after three years of dating. Paige made the announcement on an episode of Giggly Squad where she said she and Craig decided to no longer be together and then all of the listeners could hear the sound of two lips hitting each ear as she

grinned proudly and happily. January 21st, 2025, Lindsay's apartment. So Lindsay is picking up baby toys, she's in mom life and Paige comes up like your fabulous auntie, you know, she's like in some, like I'm a single girl in the city. And Lindsay's like, oh my, I just got barf out of my hair and please come in. Yeah. Well, I brought you,

I brought gifts for the blessed child. It's basically a Giggly Squad book. Enjoy. So- One is a medic alert bracelet that she can press and I will come pick her up whenever you're making her absolutely fucking crazy. Lindsay's like, you want to peek in to look at the baby? You want to peek in? Can I peek in? Yeah, let's peek in.

So they look in and Paige is like, oh, she's perfect. Okay, should we talk about my stuff now? Okay. It's amazing that you gave birth to someone that has less wrinkles than you because babies are usually... Did you poop when you gave birth or were that has less wrinkles than you. Because babies are usually... Did you poop when you gave birth or were you still wearing your Depends? That's short. I brought Jenna a blanket that says, my mom is Methuselah. So that's very sweet. Wrap her like a little burrito.

So I love that Danielle wasn't here too. That is funny that Danielle was not there. Yeah. I have so many things to say. I have so many questions. I have so many answers. I have so many. Oh, I don't really know where to go from there.

So then Amanda shows up and she's like, you wanna take a peek at the baby? Wanna take a peek at the baby? Wanna take a peek at the baby? So Amanda goes in. She's crying and Pete's like, oh my God, why are you crying? You're so dramatic.

She's like, I'm just thinking like Kyle has 500 million of those inside of him at any given time. I also like that when Amanda looks at the baby when she's crying, they're playing all this like nice soft music. The producers are like, okay, well we got no emotional response from Paige who just said that's nice. Paige is like, thanks for having me over. Anything new? Your hair looks like shit. Oh, you had a know. He just said, thanks for having me over. Anything new?

Your hair looks like shit. Oh, you had a baby. Oh, wow. Let me look at it. Gross. Okay, can we go to the other room where the baby's not? That looks like one of the sandwiches Emerald got us for breakfast.

So, Lindsay's like, it's like groundhog day. I'm like, they're like feeding Gemma or pumping or burping. Like literally you just do that over and over and over again. It's like groundhog day, they're like feeding Gemma or pumping or burping, like literally just do that over and over and over again. It's like Groundhog Day, you just like feeding Gemma or like pumping or burping. I was like, oh God, she's in a loop again. Okay, we get it. You're a mom, Groundhog Day, I broke up with someone.

All I'm doing is basically like waiting for this thing to throw up or cry or complain about something or blame me for something or fix something in its life. It's basically like a baby version of Carl. Pretty much. something in its life. It's basically like a baby version of Carl. Pretty much. So then she's like, thank God for Turner. He's like, incredible, you guys. The thing is that like with this man, like he's like the best guy you could be in this situation with, mainly because he's not there. And that's like so nice for me. I really love that. But like one conflict is that like he's very private and I'm like public, like I'm famous and he's like Danielle, like not famous or love. So like it's weird.

Yeah. She's basically saying it's really hard because she's public and he's so private. And so her being public, it's on his nerve, on his nerves, but his being private is really getting on her nerves. Cause you know, she's like, can we just post this for the gram? And he's like, no, but can you come to the hospital with me? Because like you, you know, I mean, don't be on camera, but still, it's no.

Like when I said no, I absolutely, but no. And she's like, gross. Like, how am I supposed to profit off this person if I can't have them on my Instagram? Like, I didn't really think this one through. Yeah, exactly. Like I have a Stitch Fix box. I'm trying to land here.

So. Yeah, how am I going to get people to jump from behind a bush to take our pictures if this man won't propose to me on camera? Like what the hell? So then Lindsay puts on the the pumping machine with like the things and everything and page is like I love this It's so sex in the city. It's like amazing. Wow Okay, now is it my turn? Okay, so I'm great Wow. Okay. Now is it my turn? Okay. So I'm great. Lindsay putting on her pumps to have a conversation with the girls was fucking cracking me up. I love that.

She's like, all right, girls, here I am. I'm pumping. They just pull and pull. It really hurts. Okay, go ahead. Don't, don't mind me guys. Paige goes, wow, don't mind us. Well, anyway, I'm like, great. Honestly, I feel bad that I feel good. Like, I feel like Wow. Don't mind us. Well, anyway, I'm like, great. Honestly, I feel bad that I feel good. Like I feel like I made like the right decision. Like what made me feel like the right decision was that like literally like two days later, my dad called me and was like, I want to let you know that I feel like your personality is back. And I was like, dad, my personality has always been the same. You're the one who left me. God. And then he's like, no, I like didn't realize like now, but like, you're

like so happy. And I just feel like I might got my daughter back. And I was like, I know it's like, now you don't have to hear me talk about cricket machines and bees anymore. Right? It's so much better. God, fuck, Craig. Am I right, dad? And Amanda's like, yeah, I felt like there was something so different about you this summer. Can I just say, I thought this was Paige's best summer. She had a great summer. So Paige is like, I was different. And I don't think I realized how different I was until we were out of the house.

And I was like, ew, I had to eat kangaroo this summer. I'm terrible. I don't like this. I don't like this side of me. I'm wondering if it was her favorite. I'm wondering if it was my favorite Paige summer because she had kind of decided to break up with Craig. So maybe her personality was already changing then.

But I mean, I thought she had a great summer. So she was like, yeah. And then I was like having a panic attack and I was like, oh my God, I'm going on medicine. And I called my therapist and I was like, it was like a lot. And then I was like, am I being dramatic? Oh my God. Can we try the breast milk by the way?

I want to taste what comes out of Lindsay. Like, does your milk come out expired just because you're old? Does it just taste like Italian subs? Does milk come out of there or is it already cheese? How much of this tastes like Werther's originals? So Lindsay like pours some shots of the milk on the rocks and Paige goes, what if I love it? Is this crazy? Is it weird that I love your breast milk more than Craig?

Would that be weird if that happened? Oh my God, I wanna marry your breast milk. Don't tell Craig. It's so good. Like literally I'm obsessed with your breast milk, Lindsay. She's like, really? So now they talk about the breakup and she says, okay, so I was all nervous with Craig

and the tour, this and that. So then in November, he comes over for Thanksgiving and he was like, don't you think about us hosting holidays like this for our kids? And one day we're going to do this. And I was like, sure. Yeah. But then I really thought about it and I was like, ew, tiny little Craig's running around and like plaid, you know, Republican congressman hair.

And I thought, no, no, I don't want this. I really don't. Like, I'm kind of into fashion and he's into like drawing anchors onto pillows. And I don't know if that really works for my brand. So then he's like, I'm going to come to New York in the middle of December, like, let's have a conversation. I'm like, absolutely 1000%. And we're like, while we're in having this

conversation, my apartment, he says to me, I really wish you didn't do this before you saw the ring. And then he's like, yeah. And so when he says that in my head, I'm like, this is why we're breaking up because I don't know if you're lying right now. And you know, Lexi somewhere was like, that was my storyline. How could you do this to me? Trust issues. Yeah, but you know what? Like we knew Craig was full of shit. This was so vindicating, finally hearing the rest of this story, because Craig is just such a fucking liar. Like, oh, she did that after she bought the after I bought the ring. Like she made me buy a ring. And she baked it out and everything. And then she dumped me. It's so full of shit, Craig. Of course. And Paige says, yeah, he says that he had it for a whole year. And Lindsay's like, I want to see it. She goes, it doesn't exist, Lindsay. We will never see the ring. Did he ever post the ring on Instagram? It doesn't matter. Even if he does post the ring, there's no guarantee that that's the ring or even a ring that he owns and not just some image he got off of Google. So Paige is like, two weeks

after we broke up, no one knew, so I put it out on the podcast so I don't hear from him. And I felt like I was very respectful on the podcast. I was just like, hey everyone, I broke up from Craig. Hold on one second, Hannah, I just have to laugh into this pillow right now. Oh, it's Craig's pillow.

That makes me actually laugh more. Is this awkward? Anyway, so we break up and I was very respectful. And then I was very respectful. And then I was like, look, I don't want anyone coming for him. But then all of a sudden all these rumors come out that paid sheet on Craig and that's why they broke up and all this stuff. So I sent him a text and I said, I'm getting annihilated.

Can you clear it up? And he goes, I don't feel comfortable saying anything at this time. And that's when he was dead to me. And so she was like, yeah, as a girlfriend, I defended the fuck out of this guy. I've fought people for him. Like I've lied through my teeth for him. And after he refused to stand up for me, I said, you're dead to me, you know?

So Amanda's like, well, I sent three hearts to Craig and Kyle even texted Craig and said, how's the spritz? But Craig did not respond. And he Paige is like, are you kidding me? Did not respond to Kyle Cook and his drunken rambling late at night? That is so rude. By the way, I want to know what Paige lied about on behalf of Craig. I want to get to the bottom of that too. The wedding thing, him not getting kicked out of Amanda and Kyle's wedding was a big one where they all lied for him when he went and got in a fight with somebody because he was

trying to do coke in the inside bathroom and they would only let him use the outside bathroom and say, you know, I am. And then he ended up getting kicked out. She said that was a lie. There we go. That's good. What else? I don't know.

I'm sure we could think of some if we really tried, but I think that's the biggest one that I can think of. That's a good one. That's a else I don't know sure we could think of some if we really tried But I think that's the biggest one that I can that's a good one That's a big and then I'll just a lot of his druggy antics that he was doing where she was like trying to rep Repair his reputation. Oh, yeah, we're fucking up left and right, you know, especially in winter house. Yep. Yeah, so Page is like, you know, what's crazy like we're obviously we're all in our 30s And the number one thing I've learned is that it's not that my life is better or worse than what I imagined it to be. It's just, it's just, it's just not what I imagined it to be. But at the same time, I also feel like it's not what we pictured, but it's like, also like,

it's way better. And then Lindsay goes, this cracked me up. Lindsay goes, hi, I'm like, you just took Danielle's moment and made it like, yeah, I'm not going to go. I'll show you who's over, Mitch. Just how Paige said it, she was like, I mean, look around at all of us. None of our lives turned out how we wanted, right? I mean, Lindsay's an old person having a baby with a man who's not here.

Amanda's with a disgusting old person who decided to be a DJ. I'm fabulous and rich now, but you know, it's better, right? They're like, oh, yeah. Sitting here reflecting now that we're all in our 30s, in the case of Lindsay, or 130s, our lives are different. But they're good. I mean, look, we could be here next year. God knows if Lindsay will even still be here, but it's good, right? No one expected this.

In the case of Lindsay, she thought she'd still be sitting around listening to her stories on the radio, but now we have television and the internet. It's exciting for her. I mean, guys, we never thought we'd see a medical miracle like someone older than God being able to have a baby, but we did it. So that was great.

Lindsay, are you going to tell your baby about the Big Bang? You were there for it. Lindsay, can you show us the flapper dress that you got in 1926? Lindsay, Gemma, your mother actually knew the great Gatsby. Your mother is Daisy. There I said it. All right. Well, that brings us to the end of this season of Summerhausen.

Next week, I will be back recapping this with page six, virtual reality, Danny and Evan. So join us for that and it'll be a two-part reunion. So Ben will be here to close it out and tomorrow is our interview with below deck down under is Chef Serena so check that out there's some good tea in there and we will be back I'll be back next week Ben will be back into you have an amazing trip Ben thank you so much we love you buddy see you on the other side We love you buddy! See you on the other side! Bye!

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