Watch What Crappens - #2876 FREE BONUS EP: Love Island USA S7E01: A New Season Enters the Villa

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

Love Island USA is back!  We’re chopping it up about the first episode and the new cast!  Who are your favorites?  Who’s going to last?  Who do you need out of the villa?  This is a free bonus episode preview of what we’ll be doing on Patreon allllll summer long!  Sign up at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondry and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it.

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab C Oh, hi, guess what? It's Love Island time. It's Ben and Ronnie. How's it going? We're back. We're back to discuss a whole brand new fresh season of Love Island here on Patreon.

So if you're listening to this, thanks for new bombshells have just entered the Vela. Yeah, we just walked in. We are so excited. If you're listening, thanks for supporting us on Patreon. A whole new feature film length premier episode dropped last night. Girl, longer than fucking Andor two seasons. It was long.

Let me tell you something, by the time we're done talking about this first episode, that opening musical number will still be Going on. I love that open opening musical number, by the way I loved it. I love any musical and this is this whole thing is a musical They need to just make the whole thing a musical like all the songs they do are a musical Anyway, they do like cabaret versions of pop songs and stuff through the whole thing. They should just have the casting them That's actually a really wonderful idea.

Like if they just broke into songs. Well, you know, maybe next season that'll be the twist that they have to sing their feelings. I wouldn't mind that personally. I wouldn't either. They can all dance, you know, half of them can sing. I mean, they're so good. It's like cast like high school musical.

It's good. It really is. Yeah. I am like officially hooked and I, I know I'm officially hooked because when the episode was over, I immediately went to Twitter and I was like, what are people saying? And I was like reading all the goss and uh, I was like, that's a good sign. That means I'm into it. I feel like, um, this is a very fun first episode. I mean, it felt like three episodes.

They basically jammed a week of content into one premiere episode. It really went on for so long. I feel like I was watching it felt like three episodes. They basically jammed a week of content into one premiere episode. It really went on for so long. I feel like I was watching it all night, but I enjoyed it. It was three full episodes of this show. And I'm still not really sure how the format of the show works, even though I watched all of last season, but I don't really understand what's supposed to happen next. So I just kind of sat there and enjoyed it.

And I have to say, I mean, I loved the musical. I loved all the dramatic music, like how they take Ne-Yo's closer. I love that. That was so good. Oh my God, that was so sexy. I was playing the next piano after. And it's just like so Broadway, you know, it's like,

Closer. And I just kill him, Losing my way. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It was so good. And that girl was kissing all of them and that music was playing. I was like, why is this so sexy right now?

They did it perfectly. It was great. So what we're gonna do, our aura around this is that we're just gonna talk about last night's episode. And so obviously it was a big one. So why don't we just go through all these people that came into the villa and talk about our feelings about them and-

Well, first of all, I have to say, I'm very aware that I'm talking about children. And I know that people don't love, as the years start ticking on here, we start getting more comments like, how dare you, you're making your 45 year old man make 150, but you're making fun of children, you're disgusting. We know and we don't care, okay?

If you put your children on TV, I'm gonna make fun of them, especially when they're whoring around. And this is my favorite thing. And also the sexual freedom is just like so liberating. It's like we're straight people on sniffies now. Like what are they doing? Those people just fuck you through a hole in the wall.

I like it. It's like everything's circling back to like being gay in the 70s. Yeah, the sexual freedom is as exhilarating as the educational gaps are horrifying. True. What they have in sexual freedom, they definitely lack in just general basic knowledge of things like, I don't know, ponies.

Vocabulary. When that girl said, I didn't know ponies were real. I just know of my little pony. I didn't know those were real things. Girl. That was a lot. And she's like- And I believed her.

So that was- I believed her. That was a lot to And she's like, and I believe that was, I believe her. That was, that was a lot to take on right there. Um, I was like, as the kids say, we are so back. Cause wasn't that the girl to that Shelley? And then the beginning, she's like, Oh my God, everyone's shocked that I'm so smart. I'm a day trader. I'm like, so smart. Isn't that her? Yeah. She's like, I'm so smart as a day trader.

I am just like very intelligent. Our pony is real. She's like, I had no idea those were even real. That's crazy. Day trader from Orlando, Shelly. That's her. Yeah. But she lives in Queens. She seems to be from a lot of places all at once because sometimes she's like, I live in Queens and then she's like, well, you know me, I'm from Orlando. I live in Orlando.

Well, you know me, I'm living out in Montana. It's crazy. Oh, well, you know, just got back to my villa in Paris. I'm like, where are you living right now, Shelly? Living that day trader life. Day trader, she's smart. Traveling the globe. She, I get the sense that they are setting her up or getting the vibe from what people, I'm going to say from what they're setting it up. I feel like she's sort of maybe going to be one of our heroes of the season.

She's drop dead gorgeous. I mean, she's beautiful. She's one of the first people out, usually the first two people that come out of the world. She's a great actress. She's a great actress. She's a great actress. She's a great actress.

She's a great actress. She's a great actress. She's of the season. She's drop dead gorgeous. I mean, she's beautiful. She's one of the first people out, usually the first two people that come out. I feel like they're kind of set up to be like audience favorites. It doesn't always work out that way, but I think that like there's something about like the first ones that we meet, we immediately get attached to. So she and Olandria, Olandria came out first. And I think that Shelley is going to be one that we're going to root for. I hope

because I like her. Well, so far, Olandria is my best. She's my favorite. Yeah, I mean, she's fucking hilarious. And her accent so funny. And she's like country. I love the country couple. I think they are so fucking funny. And she said, I like a country. And you know what side to walk on it? No, no, that was, no, it was her, but just the way they were talking to her was so funny. She's like, you fish? And he's like, of course I fish girl. I do everything. She's like, do it then. And he's like, that's a gang of fish.

And she's like, it's called a school. It's a school of fish. I wish I had my reel. Um, I love my reel. What I love about Alandria is that she is she works in the elevator and escalator industry. I don't know why that's so funny. She's like, my name is Alandria. And I work in the elevator and escalator. And then when she and I love that the guy had the perfect answer for it too, because she ends up with a cowboy. And she's

like, these city men, I can't take these city men, they don't know how to do shit. You know what it's like to be a country man. He goes, yeah, you hold the elevator door open for people. And she's like, yeah, that's right. I was like smart, you chose the right kind of door for her. Also, one thing that I noticed is that like,

when in the beginning when Alondria and Shelly were talking, Alondria's like, yeah, I want people, I want a guy who has manners. Like I want all the doors open for me. I don't want to even touch a single door in this villa. I don't want a single door, da da da da. And then later on, Shelly was talking maybe to Austin and she's like, yeah, I like manners.

I don't want to have to touch a single door. I was like, you stole that from Alandria. That was Alandria's line. You may share the sentiment, but that was kind of Alandria's line. Yeah, I think she did start stealing because didn't Shelly later say like, which one said you have to walk,

what side of the sidewalk do you walk on? And then- Well, a Landry asked the question, yeah. Okay, because I remember there was a lot of like, what's a man and what's not a man. But then I was like, what's a gentleman and what's not a gentleman. But then in like the next five minutes,

they're like, okay, make out with whoever you want. And then the guy that they think is a gentleman is like making out with 10 people. So I was like, I don't know. I mean, I guess the elevator door is held open. So that's good. Yeah, yeah. So Shelly, she comes in first.

And so they have, the way they are picking their couples this year is that the men stand up there and then the women, uh, one at a time, they'll kiss two men and choose one that they want to couple up with. So Shelly, the first guy she kisses is this guy, Austin, who's from Michigan. And this guy is, I mean, he's like literally like a walking plank with frosted tips. This guy just has no personality. He is so dull. He has a swimming pool person. He's a pool cleaner. Okay. He worries about he's a chemist to basically, so he's very smart. He's like the nerd of the hot douchebag guys, you know, he knows chemicals.

Yeah. He, um, he is basically a man who are, and like, we, we just know that. I mean, he basically says he, he's like, he is basically a man-whore, and we just know that. I mean, he basically says, he's like, I love being a pool guy because I meet all sorts of beautiful women. I'm like, that means you're sleeping with everyone on the block. Yeah, and he said his boss is a cock block, but he likes it other than that.

I'm like, oh, so your boss isn't letting you fuck any more people at work? I'm so sorry. Actually, I know what that's like. That was horrible. When I was young and horrier, I had to get told, you fuck any more people at work. I'm so sorry actually I know what that's like that was horrible when I was young and horrier I had to get told like you can't fuck people at work Wow, I'm gay. We're also my supposed to do it He well at least he didn't have as annoying a voice as he does because wow I like listening to him talk

He's he really does just he has like oh wow pool. I want so many children like oh my god Please do them before you age out of this looks You know what I mean like get everything you can because you're not keeping anybody around with that voice as for sure Yeah, he's like I want to have a controlled chaos household I was like, okay, so that means you're gonna be a bad father That means you're just kind of kids climbing all over you're here They're gonna be the family that when they come into the restaurant, everyone just clears out because they're just going to be terrible. Yeah.

I was surprised that somebody that cute was so into having babies at, what is he, 24 or something? He's like, I want 20,000 children everywhere. I don't know. That's nice when you see someone that hot wanting to commit and stuff. Because usually guys, and maybe it's just from being in LA, but I don't think it is. I feel like hot guys just want to run out their mileage. And then once they start breaking down,

then they're like, oh, I should maybe settle down. Well, the, the assumption there is that by having kids, you're actually committing and there's actually no guarantee that just cause you have the kids, you're committing to anything. Oh, well that's true. I did say committing. I shouldn't have said that.

Well, the buzzword seems to be family oriented. He's like, well, I'm very family oriented or sometimes I think I may have heard an orientated. I may be, I may be incorrect. I'm very family oriented. Um, but, uh, ACE said the same thing. A few people said that, which was kind of weird. I felt like they still live off their parents and that's what they're saying. Maybe that's like their nice way of saying like, I still live off their parents and that's what they're saying. Maybe that's like their nice way of saying like, I still live with my mom. Yeah, exactly. So ACE said the same thing. And ACE was the other person that Shelley kissed and Shelley and ACE had met

like outside a club in New York back in January. And ACE is like, he's like, like incredibly cute. I'm actually like annoyed cause he just has like the perfect like CW face. I'm like, it's got this, he's got these cute little eyes and dimples and a smile. And he's like, so, so cute. And I'm like really excited for his personality to be just terrible.

He's a hundred percent untrustworthy. A hundred percent. Because what would you say? No, cause I like to be released from the spell of a really cute face. I'm like, oh my God, he's so cute. And I'm like, I don't want to do that anymore. Okay, so they met outside, this isn't why really,

but they met outside a club and he's like, hey baby, come back with me. Or whatever, she's like, I will not be coming back with you. But so he's very smooth, so we know that. But this is why it's horrible. The constant lick of the lip. He's doing the full like, mm. He does do that.

Baby, yeah, mm. He's very aware of how cute he is. As he talks to you. He knows all that. Yeah, but he's always like trying to give everybody in the room, like, I'm gonna fucking eat your say say in two seconds. I don't know, like you can't trust that man,

I'm telling you. Maybe in 10 years, but not right now. He's too cute, he's too gifted genetically to trust. And I'm like, when the announcer guy was like, oh, there he is. And it looks like he likes her almost as much as he likes himself. He's got her name there and his own name on his back.

And then we see his back tattoo and it just says, ace. Hold on. Huge letters. Huge. He's got to, you know what, honestly, I'm gonna say he has too many tattoos. It's not that his tattoos are bad, but I actually think that he's so cute.

I feel like he's actually kind of covering up like a cute little body too. Like why not, why not like show it all off? But yeah. Well if he was gay, I'd say you are so insecure and it's reading, like if you have to remind me of your name while I'm fucking you, that's like really insecure, You know what I mean?

Just out of hello, my name is above it. I think he is insecure in general because I think that's why he has the tattoos is because he has such a baby face that he had to do something to make himself look like older than just like someone who's like 15. Yeah, well, he's got a lot of sisters which makes people trust him.

So, you know, he's doing that. Oh, I've got nine, six, I think he's one of six, right? Yeah. And I think like three are sisters and three are boys, I think, if I'm remembering correctly. But that's his go-to is like, oh, I know, I get it, because I have sisters. Oh, really?

Okay, did one of those do that thing on your back? Yeah, he's gonna be trouble. He really is, he's just too cute, too cute and too young to be like not trouble. And actually what was funny was that, so later in the episode, there's this big, like the game at the end of the episode is that they're all blindfolded

and people get to kiss people who they're not coupled up with sort of secretly. So he secretly kisses Shelly because he winds up coupled up with Ulyssa Ulissa, but he, he winds up kissing Shelley first. And then he goes and hooks up with, um, who to Huda and he's not hooked up. He kisses Huda, but like, he got like all of Shelley's like makeup on his face. And then he transferred it out to his face. And after they're done making up,

Huda just had all these like dark splotches all over her face. Well, that was interesting too, because originally Shelly picked him, she picked Ace, and then he got stolen by the other chick. So, yeah, so now there's like this smoldering, oh, it's really supposed to be Shelly and Ace. And so they're selling that to us very heavily.

Like they both kind of like the people they're with, but they really want each other. But right now it's bad for them to really go for each other. And I think that Shelly seems to be kind of starting to like this, cause she's with the pool boy now, right? So she seems to be starting to kind of like the pool boy cause he says he wants a lot of children. He understands chemicals. He doesn't believe in ponies either probably. So that, you know, he likes tiny frogs. He had a tiny frog pet. And she's like,

you know what? I used to have a tiny frog pet, but now I don't like that anymore. But wait, then she said, yeah, me and my siblings or whatever, when we were little kids, we used to go catch tadpoles and then they would grow legs and shit and then they'd become little frogs. Yeah. And then he was like, yeah, cause I have a little frog, I have a little frog pet, he was so cute.

I feel like she does not, she's not really inherently interested in Austin. I think she's trying to convince herself that she might be because she sort of feels like ace may be a trap But I can you can tell that she's totally comes alive around ace She's way into ace and she's not into Austin at all and honestly I mean, I'm glad because I think Austin's just like boring Yeah, ace seems dangerous, but in a way like in the future, but he's very so far. He's very sweet. Very nice

Yeah, it's time for a commercial in a way like in the future, but he's very, so far he's very sweet and very nice. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours.

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and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Every successful business starts with an idea and on the best idea yet, we're obsessed with those light bulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the Frappuccino during his downtime and then it got acquired by Starbucks.

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Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown

and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground,

there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the big flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the big flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus.

Plus get started with your free trial at wonder.com slash plus. So you'll listen. So she's sort of like, she's this, she's like four 10. She's Cuban Cuban from Miami and she sort of looks like Leah Michelle, like Cuban, Leah Michelle a little bit, you know, and she comes on. Actually I'm looking at her picture right now. She does look like that. I didn't notice it in the thing. Is she 70? Maybe. So she is 27. If they lied and switched those numbers around,

I wouldn't even be surprised because she's one of those that just, and she's very pretty, but she just looks like she could be, she looks hardened. Let me say hardened. She looks like she's lived. Like, I don't know what I'm trying to say.

She doesn't look like old. She just looks like she could be. You know, like when a real housewife starts their season two surgeries and you're like, how old are you, 20 or 90? Like you can't tell. And I'm getting that with her. Yeah, you know?

And I think that like, well, she said that she had an ex and she was like, oh, he was so stupid like he would Just I'll be making all the food for him. And while he's playing stupid fucking video games I'm like, well, I don't know if you're gonna do better here with the love island guys. I love I'll tell you Yeah, he wasn't on only fans yet I know that my first question to myself was who who these men are already whose Videos are gonna leak because remember last, one guy had the big controversy of his stuff being leaked, but then the farmer guy,

or the guy who was always in overalls, had the sexiest OnlyFans that was leaked, or I don't know if it was only, whatever it was leaked. And he never got, no one ever said anything about that one. But anyway, I started wondering about that. But yeah, Ulyssa, so sorry, go ahead with her. No, I was gonna say, so Ulyssa, people are understandably mad at her

because social media posts have come up with her saying the N-word. And yeah, so people are obviously really mad about that and the fact that she wound up stealing Ace and forcing Shelley to go over to Austin. So right now, Ulyssa is kind of like persona non grata on the internet. Online.

Well, for the other stuff I get, obviously, but not for the stealing. I mean, the whole show is set up like you have to go make out with literally 10 people. I hope you all are carrying hydrogen peroxide because this is crazy. It is. Yeah, but I didn't find out about like her social media

post till after I watched the show, but I was not, I was not like upset that she, she stole Ace, cause that is the show. I mean the show, that's what happens. And Ace also went out and made out with like multiple people when he, you know, so whatever. But also before people get mad, I'm not saying I hope that people get revenge porned.

I feel that that probably came off rock. No. I'm not hoping that they do, but... It's fun when the... It's fun to see who is going to be the one. I will never forget. Yeah. Like who's the drama going to happen to?

Because you know, now I'm a veteran, I've seen one season, so I'm just like waiting for the chips to fall. But yeah I didn't love Ulyssa anyway I found her to be a little disturbing like she said she's 20 she said she's 27 but she's been single for four years but she was with somebody for six years. Anyway some math that made her 16 she was I was 16. I'd been with the same guy. I cooked for him, I cleaned for him, I did everything for him, and all he did was play video games. So I'm like, but how old was the guy?

Because I'm disturbed. It was nine years, that means it was 18. Like someone who's 18 is gonna be playing video games. Yeah, but I also felt like, is he old? I felt like he was way older, because 16, cooking and cleaning for somebody's really young, right? I don't know.

Yeah, well she's 27. I mean, I was doing it, but it was for fucking customers. Okay? At a restaurant. Yeah, I don't know. Ulyssa says some crazy things. Like she said, at one point she was like talking about her experience,

and I had to write this down, because it was so ridiculous. Well, it wasn't ridiculous, just the way she, her choice of words are just very funny to me. She was like, you know what? Sometimes I need to take time for myself and to find myself and then I found myself and then I lost myself because I had lost myself

because I found myself. I'm like. And then she goes, girls, the only advice I have to girls is fucking have fun. I'm like, okay, thank you, Yulissa, for your great insight. No one's asking you for your advice. You were cooking and cleaning for somebody

since you were 16. You were the last person I'm asking for advice from. So yeah, I wasn't sure about her. I didn't really dislike anybody right off. I'm prepared to dislike Huda, and I will tell you, and I shouldn't because Huda's like my Middle Eastern queen. So of course I should love her. And she's not only a Middle Eastern queen,

but she's like, I come from a super Middle Eastern family, which I was like, like literally, like do they have powers? Like does your dad's back hair, like let him repel off buildings, you know? But she has a secret child and. Yeah. So I actually did not like her. I did not like her and here's why.

It's not because she has a child. It's because believe it or not, it's not. Here's what I don't like about her. She comes in, she's like, hey girls, hey. And then she's the third girl in. And so she sits down with Shelly and Alondria and like right off the bat, she's like, Hey girls, Hey. And then she, she's the third girl in. And so she sits down with Shelley and Alondria and like right off the bat, she's like, so I have a child, I have a child, but I want to tell people really slowly on my own terms. I'm like, why did you just tell these two strangers? I kind of don't, I feel like it's kind of like manipulation or

kind of fucked up to meet someone that you don't know. And you kind of like thrust them into a secret and now they're forced to be in that secret and they don't know and you kind of like thrust them into a secret. And now they're forced to be in that secret and they don't even know you. And then now they're going to like, now she'll probably get mad if they like out her secret. I kind of feel like that's weird manipulation. I don't like that. And then also what was hilarious to me is she's just so transparent. So then she winds up, um, paired up with this guy, Jeremiah, who's a model. And she keeps on saying things. She's like, so, so what size apartment do you have? Mine's a two bed, two bathroom. He's like, what do you need that other two bedroom for? He's like, Oh, I can't say.

My backstory is very textured. I can't say, like stop trying. That's all you have a clown college in there? Like what's your secret? Like it could only be certain things, you know? Like oh, some secret, I'm renting out a room to save on rent. I mean, what could it be? You have a child, I say you have a child. It is weird though. And I agree with your manipulation thing because another thing she did was when she sat down

with the girls, she's like, hey, Pat Jeff. And they sit down and she's like, so when do you guys wanna have kids? And they're like, oh God, when I'm like 30, I guess. I mean, it just seems so far away and I'm just not ready yet. She's like, and what about you? Maybe when I'm like 30, cause you know, they all think 30's, you know, a decade,

you know, a century away or whatever. And then she's like, well, I have a child. And they're like, oh, like she kind of put them in a situation where she made them feel bad almost for exactly. I forgot. That was the other aspect of it. Like she does. It's like she sets them up. And then, so I didn't like that. She set them up in that way. And then the same thing with Jeremiah, she was, she first, actually she start by saying, so do you live with anyone? Do you have roommates or something like that?

Which was kind of her way to set it up for him to say, do you live with anyone? So that way she could be coy like, um, it's complicated, but she didn't actually even get to that point because it's got sidetracked. But then instead she got to say the two bedroom, two bathroom thing. And I just, what I'm getting from her is manipulation, honestly. And, um, that could make for great TV. But for right now, like, I don't know, I'm hesitant with her.

Yeah, I'm hesitant. I like her for the most part. I don't trust her eyelashes or her eyebrows. Both of those things give me warning. They're warning signs. And I don't know why, I just feel like they're so over the top that it's hiding something. So we'll see. And I don't know why, I just feel like they're so over the top that it's hiding something.

So we'll see. And also she's a fitness trainer, so I feel like very judged and yelled at. So then we meet this twit named Belle-A Walker. Okay, were the birth certificates narrow? Did you run out of room to write Bella? You don't need to be spelling it like that. I don't care where you're from, who you're from.

That is ridiculous shit right there. Stop it. Yeah, she's awful actually. And you know what, like why, why is she spelled like Wally? Bella. Are you a robot? Are you a cleaning robot? I wouldn't be surprised if she was some kind of a bot.

And she's very like, I'm so innocent because I'm a Christian. She's got like the big full crucifix. I'm like, girl, you are hoeing it up on Love Island. Can we stop? Yeah. Just come on. And then like she makes every guy kiss her on the cheek. Look, everyone's allowed to go at their own pace,

but like you're on Love Island. Why all of a sudden? You're on the hoest Look, everyone's allowed to go at their own pace, but like you're on the island. Why all of a sudden? You're on the hoest show on earth, like stop. And then you're gonna be coy. And then she has like all this toxic positivity. She's like, girls, no matter what happens, we're just gonna be best friends. Cause like, you're all my sisters in here.

We're all queens. Like she's just saying all that bullshit. And I'm like, you know what Bella? No, why are you wasting all of our time right now? Yeah. She seems fine, but just incredibly boring. She does look just like Crichelle from Selling Sunset or somebody else. She's got a face that's been on a lot of people already.

It's like she just went to the Marshalls. And she, yeah, she got the face. She's a composite of like many people. But it's pretty. So then we go. By the way, I like that when we meet her, first of all, I like that they played Carly Rae Jepsen for when we met her.

But second of all, I love that she goes, I believe in positive things. Which I'm like. Just generally. Okay, I'm like, you might not wanna believe in that when it comes to medical results. I know, I hope you're not giving out tests next time I go in.

I know. And then she goes, I'm an old soul and a Christian. I'm like, you're 22. You do not get to say old soul until you're at least in your 30s. I'm sorry. You're literally, well, you can say that about children if they are, you know, if they're like, well, let's talk about the news in the Middle East or whatever. Like there are old souls, but you are not one of them. No, she's not. She is not one of them. Most people who say they're old souls don't say that because you know are old souls, but you are not one of them. Okay. She's not, she is not one of them. Most people who say they're old souls don't say that. Cause you know what old souls don't say?

That they're old souls. They just don't. You know what old souls don't do? They don't go on love Island. No. Old souls are like, fuck these hookers. All of you are hookers. So then we have a guy that looks like a little boy

with a cold in a, like Mike will commercial Nicholas. Think about it. When you see him, when you see his face, he looks like he's in the commercial for cold medicine. He looks like he's got a cold. I don't know what it is. Like his nose is, you know, because he has old man, like lower nose region. Everything about him looks young except for the area right under his nose. It looks like an old man. It's like he's cronin in there.

He's cute. He just looks like tired and he has a cold. Like I don't know what it is. And he, um, he's like really cute at certain angles and then like really dorky at other angles. But he, if there is any dorkiness. He hasn't let that fly I'm looking I'm hoping there's some dorkiness because right now he's like, yeah boring, but he is a nurse. So Yeah, he um, he also talks like Nicolas Cage. He's like my friends described me as Feral I'm like no, there's nothing about you that seems feral. And you look very purebred cat. There's nothing like feral cat about you.

You have a post-natal drip that needs to be tended to. Now, whatever cold you have running through your body is feral, but not you. Exactly. And so he actually wants- And that's kinda hot. He's like, yeah, all the people I take care of, they love playing with my hair.

And they compared me to some singer from the 50s named James Dean, whatever that means. So this guy gets a lot of old, like, hands on his ass. You can just tell. Yeah, he definitely does. And so when we meet him, we see lots of footage of them. Every time we meet someone, we see them, like a dancing in a giant O shape on the beach. So, uh, we see him doing that and everything.

And he looks super hot in this, in this footage, but his hair was like a little longer. But by the time it gets to like the walking into the Villa, his hair for some reason is either shorter or it's just retracted. And it's just not quite as attractive. I'm not like even a long hair kind of guy, but like his hair is kind of in this middle space where it's just not quite as attractive. I'm not like even a long hair kind of guy, but like his hair is kind of in this middle space where it's like not cute and short,

it's not sexy and long. It's just sort of this weird middle like. He's just coming out of his mushroom teenage boy. Like I don't want this mushroom hair anymore, but he had, it was like a recent decision, I think. Oh, yeah, it was a hedge. Yeah, he's fine, but like kind of boring. And something I noticed, oh, and also he has the curly hair curse, which when I had hair, I have curly hair.

And so I had that curse where sometimes it's like very tight. Sometimes it's long and crazy. And then Huda has it too, because that girl is like, fuck, like she walked in there, fuck. She was like, hey, bitches. And I was like, this poor thing. Like they didn't allow her the proper product. They didn't warn her about VG. She's going to like fucked. Like she walked in there fucked. She was like, hey bitches. And I was like, this poor thing. Like they didn't allow her the proper product. They didn't warn her about VG.

She's gonna be fucked. But one thing I wanted to talk about going back to the pool guy. And I think he will also end up with a Christian girl because they're both wearing the big gigantic crucifixes. So that's one sign. The other thing is his tattoos. Do we discuss his tattoos?

No, we didn't. Okay. On one boob, he has Cupid pulling back the arrow and the arrow has a heart in it that says mom. So he's shooting his mom's love at somebody, which is fucking weird. And then on his other tit, he's got another Cupid and it's aiming back at the first Cupid with the machine gun. What? the fuck? This guy's an idiot.

This guy's a fucking idiot. He and he and Bell are definitely going to wind up together. And then they're, I hope that they are one of the first people eliminated because they're just, they're just too boring. And poor Nicholas, he's trying to like make the Bella thing work cause he winds up with Bella and like all they can do is like hold hands and you can see he's trying to like make the Bella thing work because he winds up with Bella and like all they can do is like hold hands. And you can see he's trying to be respectful, but he's also like, yeah, this is kind of annoying right now. It's interesting that this show, I think Nicholas is going to be kicked off. I can't see him staying on there. He's just too boring.

But one thing I find interesting about this show is it really is kind of like a married at first sight type of show, because they get kind of a choice. Like they make it seem like you have a choice, but they don't really have a choice. I mean, they're given one person and then they're like, okay, congratulations, you're a couple now, our first couple. It's like, okay, make it work.

Yeah, it is weird. And then they just are like committed to this idea, like, oh, we started off the show together. The couple that seems to be like most, like I would say the one, the couple that seems to be the most drawn to each other at first right now would be Huda and Jeremiah. And Jeremiah is like, it's interesting.

Cause Jeremiah is like, he's, I would say he's hot, but he actually seems insecure. He does a lot of like fidgety motions and looking down and everything. And it's kind of funny to see an insecure hot person, although I guess they probably all are massively insecure. But they, so he and Huda are like, they like right away really like each other

and you know that they are connected because they went up to the soul ties area and he is wearing Birkenstocks and Huda goes, oh, I wear Birkenstocks too. I was like, it's a sign. They're in love. And then also when he had the chance, I don't think he got the chance to kiss somebody,

but when somebody came to kiss him, he like rejected the kiss out of respect. And then Ariana- Also to make sure he wouldn't get stolen away. Yeah, but he said, I'm doing that out of respect. And then Ariana said, and because of Huda, right? And he's like, yeah, well, what do you think I meant? Respect for Huda, what do you think I meant for the country?

The fuck out of here. So, I mean, I think what we're all anticipating is that this couple's gonna be like, this is gonna fall apart really quickly, right? Like he even said when we met him that he be like, this is gonna fall apart really quickly, right? Like he even said when we met him that he's like, I'm like 75% a good guy, but I did cheat on my last relationship.

And so he's acting like he learned from it, but I think it's pretty clear that this is gonna burn bright and then it's gonna flame out quickly. Yeah, Hood is not gonna take that because she's got a baby. So she can't have a cheater. But you know, I don't know if maybe he's admitting it. Does that mean like, and I'm better?

I mean, look, they're so young. It's so hard to even be mad at people. Like even when you say, you know, horrible things about like, even as we start finding out horrible things about them, I just, it's like they're five. To me, they're just like, you remember when you were at that age where you were like, oh my God, they're so young, and they would literally be in middle school, and now it's like they're so young,

and they have muscles, and they're like making out, and they've been through puberty, like it's weird. It's just, I'm still not used to it. I act like aging happened literally overnight, but it feels like it did. So it's hard for me to, I forgive him is what I'm saying. I'm saying he's young enough to change.

I, I just, I also can't imagine any of these guys really being down to get in a, in a, in a serious relationship with someone who has a baby when they're all like 22 and 23. I just see them all pretending like they can and being like, yeah, that's cool. But I guarantee like, like she's going to have a hard time with that secret. Well, she's obviously got someone taking care of the baby. So I'm wondering if she's got one of those lives where she can just kind of go be free and be a mom too, you know, but I don't know.

But I'm always shocked because I think none of these people are going to settle down. They're too hot. No one's really here for a boyfriend, girlfriend. They're all here for TV. But then the couples do stay together. Like if you look at the after son, after the son or whatever, a lot of them stay together for a really long time, right? Yeah, I think that, I think Janae and Kenny,

I think are still together. And I don't know about the rest, but I assume that the rest are, I think that Serena- I think the couple that won are still together. And I don't know about the rest, but I assume that the rest are. I think that Serena. I think the couple that won are still together, right? Serena and Cordell, I think are still together. I mean, I think so, because it hasn't been in my newsfeed

that they've broken up, and I feel like I would've heard. I do subscribe. But I think that would be news. But I think that Shelley and Ace are gonna be the new version of them. I don't know, I think Ace is gonna fuck it up. I think Ace is gonna be the new version of them. I don't know, I think Ace is gonna fuck it up. I think Ace is gonna wanna explore

all sorts of different girls. I think a lot of girls are gonna wanna make out with Ace, honestly. So I think that's gonna be, that's gonna be a hard one. And you can tell that she was bothered, and who wouldn't be, by the way, but she could tell he was making out

with 20 different people, and she tried not to look bothered, but you could see it on her face that she was bothered. And I would be bothered too. I couldn't go on this show. Yeah. We also should talk about, but we only touched on him, but Taylor is the, uh, he's the cowboy and he's just kind of like all limbs and braids. Like he's just like everything about him is sort of like long and lanky and he, I really enjoy him. Although I can't always understand what he's saying, cause he really mumbles a lot and he's like, oh, and uh, but he seems really, you know, I,

there's something really likable about him. Um, he just is like sort of silly and I really like how much Alondria actually likes him. Cause I thought he was going to be, I thought he was going to have a Cordell trajectory as being kind of like the kooky, dim-witted, nice guy who for the first few weeks on the show just sort of doesn't really have any luck. And then, you know, finally like kicks into gear. But like right away around the gate.

He came in with Cordell energy. I mean, he was wearing like that suit. And it had like one side of it was red and one side of it was black. And then he had the dread, the braids and then the cowboy hat and he gave and he was kind of skipping around. And I was like, this is not a real cowboy because someone was like, I love cowboy. I love cowboy. And I was like, that's not a cowboy. But then he's like, I'm a cowboy.

And I'm a real cowboy because I don't wear no skinny jeans. And then talked about the fish and the gang of fish. I mean, I loved him. I thought he was fucking hilarious. So yeah, he was, he was actually pretty great. So then at the end of the episode, they do this kissing thing and they, they all, you know, kiss, kiss people that secretly, and then they bring in two bombshells, um, Charlie and Sierra and Charlie, they both, Charlie kisses all the girls and Sierra kisses all the boys.

And then they walk off to like this, for the hideaway or to like the new, like, um, speakeasy area. And then Ariana tells everyone to drop their blindfolds. And what's really funny is that she's like, okay, if you received a kiss, raise your hands. Of course they all raised their hands because the bombshells, because everyone, which is funny because they're setting up the contestants

to think that they all were like, it was big, like all, like slutting it up. Yeah. It's shady, but you know, that's how it is. You gotta make them cry. They're gonna be crying. And then I thought this cast is so nice. They're all gonna get along.

And then they show the coming up in five minutes. And they're like, fuck you, I've done some bullshit. So I think it's gonna be pretty good and messy. I mean, okay, so let's take some guesses here. Who are gonna be the first two people to leave the island of Vigi? to people to leave the island of Vigi. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say Ulyssa will be out first

because I think they're just gonna engineer it because having social media with the N word is really unacceptable. And so either they'll just blatantly just drop her from the show, cause that does happen every now and then, a cast member just disappears or they'll just, they'll just do some sort of polling thing. Like you're the least popular or you're gone, whatever.

So I think you listen will be out. But in terms of like out in terms of excluding stuff that's happening outside of the show, I don't know. I think that Nicholas, I think your instinct, I think Nicholas and Bella could be in trouble. What do you think? I think Nicholas and Bella could be in trouble. What do you think? I think Nicholas and Bella, but I think you've got a strong case for Ulyssa. Whatever. Her name, Ulyssa? I can't remember her name.

Ulyssa. Yeah, I mean, I think you've got a strong case for her. But yeah, that's who I think and possibly pool guy because he doesn't really seem to have a ton going on, but yeah, I don't know. We'll see. But anyway, we'll find out soon, we'll be here. I thought they didn't have shows on Wednesday,

but they said it's tonight, right? Yeah, it's usually on the weekend, they have like unseen bits. And then there's usually like a day where there's no real show, but whatever. We'll, I mean. I thought that was Wednesday, but I guess not. But anyway, we'll be here about three days a week

doing these, so if you want these, thank you for being on Patreon. This episode is free, it's a free bonus for everybody on the main feed and this is what we do. So if you want this on the Patreon, this is your daily check-in. Yeah. Yeah, this is the vibe.

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