Watch What Crappens - #2884 Love Hotel S01E7 Part 1: Hurricane Storms

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!There’s trouble in paradise on Love Hotel when Shanan realizes she has coupled up with someone as overdramatic and emotional as herself. Watch out Earl!... To watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondry and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it.
Starting point is 00:00:35 And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.
Starting point is 00:01:31 I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Hi. Hi. Welcome to your show. What's going on with you, Ben? Not much, just enjoying a lovely Tuesday here in Los Angeles. We have a big show on Thursday in Seattle that we're really excited about.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Going back to the Neptune, please join us for the season premiere of Real Housewives of Miami, which we'll be recapping there in Seattle. And then one week later, we are bringing our show to the Fonda Theater in Hollywood. I have to say, Ronnie, I drove by the Fonda yesterday after my haircut, and they already had Watcher Crappens up on the marquee. And it was honestly very surreal to see our podcast
Starting point is 00:02:20 right there on Hollywood Boulevard over those stars. I mean, at that point- That's so cool, I'm gonna go take pictures. It really is. Yeah, I would have taken a mean, at that point. That's so cool. I'm gonna go take pictures. It really is. Yeah, I would have taken a picture, but I had to go to the bathroom. So this is like my ongoing thing. It's like I saw Gertie,
Starting point is 00:02:32 but I had to keep going. I'm like really like, I have a lot of panic driving happening. Anyway, the point is come join us on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles for a really special show, a really big, it's gonna be a really big close out to our mounting hysteria tour. That's going to be on June 19th. So just a little over a week away, we're going to recap the Valley because of course we'll recap an LA show in LA.
Starting point is 00:02:57 So, uh, tickets, if you want to get tickets, the links to our tickets are at watch or crappens.com. Also be sure to join us on Patreon, which is of course is patreon.com slash watch what happens. We do crap is on demand where you can watch us. We're on, we're on it right now. So hi everyone. Um, and then those are exclusive on Patreon for a week and then they are free on YouTube. The videos also we are doing daily with an asterisk daily love Island
Starting point is 00:03:23 recaps daily as in anytime we sit down to record here, our podcast, we're going to do love Island recap. It's not seven days a week. We're not waking up on Saturday and doing it. So it's usually going to be like Monday through Thursday. Um, although this week we are traveling to Seattle, so it'll probably just be Monday through Wednesday, but either way, the point is love Island recaps are happening. They're fresh after the episode. So go check those out on Patreon. That's all the exciting news. And today we are talking love hotel, which, wow, what a doozy of a,
Starting point is 00:03:58 show is so deranged. It is such a hilarious show. It is. It's nuts. It's nuts. But I did have a moment where I was like called it. Cause I remember in the beginning of this, I said, Earl's too emotional for Shannon. You know, everybody's talking about how Shannon's too emotional for Earl.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Earl's shown some emotional instability as well. And I'd like to say that poked its head through last night. Although, you know, maybe I'd want someone to call me if my house was in a hurricane or whatever. I'm not saying none of his points were right, but Earl's way too emotional of a guy to be with someone like Shannon. You can't have two hurricanes in the same spot, guys, okay?
Starting point is 00:04:37 Yeah, yeah, it was a big emotional hurricane. I think this is the first time we've seen a hurricane get in the way of a relationship on The Real Housewives. So I'm like really impressed. This show is really breaking new ground. Well, I like that a hurricane took down a relationship of a storms. I know, I know you would think that she'd be equipped for it
Starting point is 00:04:57 since her last name is storms, but no, no. So we start- Storms never come, they just get stormier. And seeing Shannon have a breakdown with those two gigantic curlers like Mickey Mouse ears in the middle of her head was amazing. Great work, guys. Great, great, great work.
Starting point is 00:05:14 So how are they ever gonna do this show without Shannon? Honestly, Shannon's kind of made this whole show if you think about it. Like every piece of drama has come from Shannon. It's like the Shannon and Luan of it all. Like Ashley is fine. You know, it's sort of like, she's like fascinating to watch this like awful love triangle she's found herself in and Giselle is just there for comic relief.
Starting point is 00:05:34 But the Luan in her weird ass relationship in the corner, like weird, weird, weird relationship. Super weird. It's just weirder than you could imagine. From SNL, the old SNLs where they're like, race and drach and welfare all sitting in a hot tub like, hitting on people. They're just so strange.
Starting point is 00:05:59 And then you have Shannon just like spiraling with the guy named Earl the Pearl. I mean, it's, it is going to be really hard to replicate this for sure. All right. So let's go from the beginning. We start with Joel, final decision right around the corner. And then we see a pause sign appear on the screen and rewind rewind 66 hours until checkout. Don't don, don. Yeah, and-
Starting point is 00:06:26 Vizell sits with Phil, and Phil's like, I mean, I'm 62 and Bel Air, you know what I mean? I don't have time to play games. I could see us being best friends, lovers, all of it. The King and Queen of Bel Air is what I see. So then- It's our way of president, Bel Air, you wuss. And then now 65 hours until check out,
Starting point is 00:06:50 Ashley's sitting with Ralph and she's like, yeah, I've had a lady relationship in the past couple years. She's like, well, that should be discussed. I'm kind of over it. It was a phase of, that's another conversation. It wasn't a phase. Come to daddy. 48 hours until checkout.
Starting point is 00:07:09 So now everybody's in the main lounge and James is like, No one touch the Angusie. Lou Angusie is my girl. You can't touch her. And Mitch is like, Your handling of her is not the way I would handle a woman.
Starting point is 00:07:21 My God, I would punch you. And Lou Angusie is like, Oh, wow. How rude punch you. And then I was like, wow, how rude. Violence, and yet it's over me, so kind of sexy. 25 hours until checkout. Shannon's in her room with the giant curlers in her hair. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Shannon? Shannon, are you okay? Can we come in, Shannon? Shannon? Hi, hi, hi, Can we come in? Shannon? Shannon? Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi,
Starting point is 00:07:47 hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi Last time one of the AAAs was a little bit loose. She almost started the hotel on fire. Shannon, nah, did you over microwave your salmon with cream cheese again?
Starting point is 00:08:10 Nah, it exploded, didn't it? Duh. It's my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. And now 72 hours until final checkout. Back to Joel. Hey It's a very exciting day here at the Grand Vella's boutique hotel ladies You're gay than your gals have left us sadly one gay was stuck behind and that one was me
Starting point is 00:08:36 So sad. Oh, well, that's it's nice to hear what the bellhop is going through But I'm not sure why he's keeping me from spending time with our old apparel The bellhop is going through, but I'm not sure why he's keeping me from spending time with Earl the Pearl. Can I stir a pot a little bit? Now, this is pre-tears Shannon. As you can see, my hair is not curled yet. Can I just stir the pot? Someone was walking to get in the elevator.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Hold on. Let me press my lips. Oh, oh, oh, shirtless. Oh, oh, with a very silly grim on his face. Pointing, pointing. It was James. It was James. Ha ha.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Ha ha. For a moment, I thought it might have been a risque waiter finally bringing me my spinach and art joke tip, but no, no it was not. It was just James sneaking out of Luanne's bedroom. Oh, oh, sexy. Luanne and James sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, and not taking the proper precautions you need to have if you're going to be in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, and not taking the proper precautions that you need to have
Starting point is 00:09:27 if you're going to be in a tree, especially with all that pollen around. So really, I advise sitting on a bench next time and doing it indoors. Stop giving trees syphilis. That's what I say. So flashback to earlier this morning, we see James banging Luanne.
Starting point is 00:09:42 And so Joel's like, Oh, Detective Shannon, do you know where he was coming from? She goes, well, I'm going to say that count as his room. He smelled like Benson and Hedges and was singing something very off key in two chords. I once fell on the hedges. Let's roll that clip for the 16th time. Right? Such a hilarious clip iconic, if you will.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Hey, here we go. That was a private thing. That was a private thing when you saw me in that room, everybody. I banged the wind. Don't tell anybody, all of you. It's my girlfriend right there. Babe, look around. Do you think anything is private around here? Come on. What? Is the bellhop insinuating that he's put up cameras to spy on us? Well, this is unacceptable at a resort. This is a luxury establishment,
Starting point is 00:10:26 and you have a bellhop spying on us? That's just unacceptable. What is shattin' in any way, a peeping Tom? Oh, I don't need a peeping, oh, I'm saying Tom. I don't wanna say Tom again. Please don't roll the clip. It's all about Tom, everybody together. All right, thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:43 I didn't know this was a secret I mean even though I did say I was gonna stir the pot which inherently meant that I knew it was a secret But I didn't know it's a secret because James is professes his love to Luanne. Did David ever professed his love to me? No, did John Jansen know? Did anyone ever profess their love for me? No You're like Shannon Bador Sent into an existential crisis by seeing James in a hallway. Well, Earl has left my room multiple times and I guarantee you he has a big grin on his face.
Starting point is 00:11:14 One thing he does not have on his face, the remnants of artichoke dip, sir. Yes, he has a big grin on his face because he merged my room without there being any vegetables in sight. So can we get that artichoke dip, please? So Mark wants to say something. He's like, well, I find it personally difficult in this environment to show your emotions. There's a limit of protecting yourself and not being over the top. And I am the person dressed like a pool from Aladdin saying this. I, I really can't stand those over the top people.
Starting point is 00:11:49 I express my dissatisfaction. The, the, the more sleeveless I've become, the more dissatisfied I am with someone else. That's my, that's my rule of thumb. So I think my fashion speaks for itself today. So then we say, we see Mark two days ago talking to Luanne, saying like, he claimed you. And James like, hey, you're my girlfriend. And her saying, no, I'm not, not yet. Well, I feel like you're my girlfriend. No, no, stop it. Stop following me. Keep following me. Why'd you stop following me? Keep following me. Well, everyone, well, you know, gentlemen, this is your journey as well.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Yes. Basically, he's saying James is acting. That's what he's saying. Let me translate this to you for in Housewives Speak, which is you are fake, acting and doing this for the cameras. And Joel's like, none of this is in the script and I'm not getting paid enough to care. So let's just move on.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Okay. With Bowen Yang in about 10 minutes. So we wrap this up so I can talk with actually funny people. An extremely low energy zoom coming up. Just a very droll, I have a very droll zoom coming up. I really need to wrap this up because I'm trying to write Fire Island 2 and I'm sorry, I've incorporated a character named Shannon Madure and I'm just not into this.
Starting point is 00:13:11 It's really ruining the script. So James like, well, there's no more eliminations till your final date and that's gonna be lovely. Oh no, Joel says that. There's no more eliminations. There's a lovely overnight date with the guy that you choose before you make your final decision. It's gonna be like rotisserie chickens fucking in the case.
Starting point is 00:13:30 So can't wait for that. Giselle's like, overnight, da! Oh, you're just gonna throw someone in my bedroom? Don't you realize I have no interest in anyone here? I'm just here to make jokes and call out people for the bullshit. I'm not really intending to spend overnight with anyone. Yeah. So of course, Ashley wants to spend time with Ralph and Wally,
Starting point is 00:13:51 but there's only one of me. Number stopped you before. Go for it, Ashley. You can do it. You can climb this hill, Ashley. I believe in you. Besides, Ralph will be asleep in five minutes. Yeah, true. And you know, he's a snorer. So the producer is like, I will keep you up, guilting you the rest of the night. So you're going to go to sleep before me? Like you think you can just go to sleep before me?
Starting point is 00:14:12 Like what about me? I'm still awake. So you're just gonna like, are you just saying that I'm like so boring that you're just going to go to sleep and like, I'm just going to sit here awake and like, that's what you're going to do. Like you bring me all the way up here to like not even talk to me, just gonna go to sleep. Have some cooth. So then producer asked Giselle, who's a better cuddler, Phil or Theo in her mind.
Starting point is 00:14:30 And she's like, I don't like to cuddle. Ah, did your mouth just open? What? What'd I say? Do you know you're on a dating show, Giselle? So then Joel's like, okay, well, the journey does continue today. I have another great group date for you.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Um, so you're, I'm, I'm actually too bored to even tell you what the group date is. So you just have fun. We haven't figured that out yet. Go to the parking lot. We've got some dollar store decorations coming out. You'll see there. They're like, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:59 So this is a group date and, um, Theo doesn't like group dates. Which one's Theo? He's like the, he's the doctor with a surprisingly good body. Yeah. He's like, my wife's a bitch or whatever that guy. So then Giselle's like, Wale has stuck with Ashley from day one. I'm sure he's feeling like, why isn't it just me? They're trying to make Wale happen.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Wale is not happening. She doesn't like Wale. I feel like in the real world, Wale has a lot of, I feel like a lot of strong claims of like, I don't wanna fight for you anymore. I've shown you that I'm interested. I don't wanna fight for you. But you came onto a dating show where that, this is the format.
Starting point is 00:15:43 So you can't reinvent the wheel here when you're already in the wheel. Okay. So you have to just like, just you've got to do the things to do. I've seen it happen before where it actually works out because there was a girl on The Bachelor. Okay. Peter, the pilot who was also on Traders went on The Bachelor and he was, there was kind of an awkward, weird girl who didn't really belong there and he'd get picking her. And nobody really understood why. And then he's like, okay, I want you to come to this overnight thing. She's like, no, this is like so weird.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Like, I don't wanna have to date you and all these other people. And he's like, okay, so he sent her home. And people were like, whoa, that's cold. And then he ended up dating her after the bachelor. He dumped the one he picked and ended up dating her. It's happened a few times. I think with Ari's season,
Starting point is 00:16:27 there was a girl who started crying and she was like, I don't wanna do this, this hurts my feelings. And she left and then he ended up dating her. I mean, it happens. It happens. I know, I understand that. I also do feel like this is one of those weird things where gender roles do play a role
Starting point is 00:16:42 because there's this idea of like of men are supposed to pursue regardless and men are basically just cavemen and are just going to fight for dominance. And I'm not saying that any of that is good or right, but I feel like that's why it feels weird to see the guy just being like, oh, well, what about me? I mean versus like I feel like we're like we've been trained or socialized to be okay with a woman doing that But with the men with him with a guy being like, well, I've already put myself out there and then stuff you like He's totally right. But at the same time I'm like, well Yeah, you're right that you're on a dating show and you should you should play the game, you know Like if it's a lady, I'm like good for you. No,'re worth but sky I'm like, come on buck up buck up and play the game
Starting point is 00:17:32 Whether that's right or wrong is a whole other one. It's also not real too It's like you really think you have a shot with Ashley you you really did find people who don't watch his show You know what? I mean, like they really found people who don't watch Housewives because Ashley, we all know Ashley's type and it's not Wale, okay? Ralph, Ralph I believe. It's not Wale and it's not Wale B, it's definitely Wale Z.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Yeah. Or Wale, you know, if she's gotta be alone, she'll choose a robot. But it's not gonna be some guy giving her, you know, emotional shit like that the whole time. Yes. Oh, geez. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me.
Starting point is 00:18:20 And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave
Starting point is 00:18:58 with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Every successful business starts with an idea and on the best idea yet, we're obsessed with those light bulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the Frappuccino during his downtime,
Starting point is 00:19:26 and then it got acquired by Starbucks. Or how Patagonia's iconic fleece was inspired by a toilet seat cover. On the best idea yet, we dive into the untold origin stories behind the products you're obsessed with, and the bold risk takers made them go viral. These are the wild ideas and insights
Starting point is 00:19:43 that made Birkenstock the best selling sandals since Jesus and made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention span. Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining One Dream Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor. So Ashley and Mark are talking and Mark is saying, this over the top stuff is bullshit. I'm interested in switching courses. You know what? I decided I liked the Zell all of a sudden. She's like, Whoa, whoa, wow.
Starting point is 00:20:25 So you feel the vibes in Giselle? And he's like, yeah. And he basically says, look, I let Luan and James do their thing for a long time. I'm out, it's too much. Giselle hasn't settled. Giselle doesn't have anyone and she's pretty. So whatever, I'll go after Giselle.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Yeah. He's like, you only live once. There's no 20 year olds debating here. So I'll try Giselle. Yeah. He's like, you only live once. There's no 20 year olds debating here. So I'll try Giselle next. And Ashley's like, yeah, he has zero chance, zero chance. So now Giselle and Theo are still talking and Theo's pissed off at James, but she's like, have you all duked it out? You and Phil?
Starting point is 00:21:01 Oh no, Phil. They're talking about Phil because Theo wants her to. And she's like, well, you know, why don't you have the fight? Like get away from her. No, you get away from her. No, I live in Bel Air. I don't care, where is Bel Air?
Starting point is 00:21:14 And then we'd have a Bel Air fight. He was like, nah, we don't have that sort of thing. I mean, I did ask him how things went last night and he said things went well, but yeah, we're not gonna really fight over you. We're just gonna be gentlemanly about it. She's like, damn, I was're not gonna really fight over you. We're just gonna be gentlemanly about it." She's like, damn, I was hoping you guys would fight over me. Okay, well, I do know that you're a dessert guy.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Yeah, I am a sweet guy and I love sweets. It goes both ways. What? What? What does that mean? It goes both ways. Well, when you're a dessert guy and you love sweets, it goes both ways.. When you're a dessert guy and you love sweets, it goes both ways. Because when you're a sweets guy, you love desserts.
Starting point is 00:21:49 You want the dessert to want you back? I don't know what he's talking about there. So Theo says Gisele's his type, and she's like, yeah, I don't know about him. He's a mystery. I'm not dating any of these people. You can move on to the next person. Nah. So there's something flying around. And she's like, is that a fly? I'm not dating any of these people. You can move on to the next person.
Starting point is 00:22:05 So there's something flying around and she's like, is that a fly? And he's like, it's something. She's like, that's a real man. Okay. So then Wale is sitting with Shannon and Shannon's like, oh, how are you doing? How do you feel about Ashley? Why aren't you married to Ashley? Are you going to ask Ashley to marry you?
Starting point is 00:22:18 I can't wait. I got a t-shirt coming in that says Ashley Wale. Don't wait. He's like, well, I don't have an answer. You know, I stopped searching for the one. I got a t-shirt coming in that says Ashley Wallet. Don't wait. He's like, well, I don't have an answer. You know, I stopped searching for the one. He says, you know, Ashley got the best selection to be honest between Ralph and me. And that's some cool, calm, collected gentlemen. So who does Ashley want to be with? I don't know. I can't gauge it. So I, by the way, the idea of like Wallet confiding into Shannon Madore is like very funny to me. By the way, the idea of Wale confiding into Shannon Bador is very funny to me.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Shannon loves Wale, it's hilarious. She's just like, Wale, I only care about Wale. Where's Wale sitting? Where is he sitting? Does Wale have his own paintbrush for this painting sip? Please, respect Wale. What about Wale and Shannon Bador? That would be kind of hot.
Starting point is 00:23:02 That would be kind of hot. In a weird way, it's kind of worse. I feel like he would, he'd be like her little boy. But like, he's like, he's like younger and like sexy, even though his personality could use some work. And like, I feel like she deserves like a young hot man. Like that would be kind of cool. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:20 So Phil is, so they're having this paint and sip group date and it feels, I'm sitting next to Shannon. I already know that. And she's like, oh, Phil sit next to me, Phil. Get over here, Phil. And Ralph is like, am I a man without a country? Come to daddy country. So I love painting sips. The only thing I like when I'm painting sips is a painting sniff. Love isn't only about the heart, it's also about the soul.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Please paint things. So, uh, Lou Ann's like, Ralph, get over here. You always have the last in musical chairs. Only about the heart. It's also about the soul. Please paint things so Lans like Ralph get over here. You always have the last in musical chairs. He's like, I'm always the last one So actually he's actually mad about that by the way Do you notice there was like a there's an element of tone in her like Ralph you need to pull up if you're replaying Musical chairs. I'm sick of you what coming in last. Okay, it's called energy and dedication How's it happen? Who is the last one to sit down in musical chairs? It's called listen to the beat. When you're a real musician, you do that, okay?
Starting point is 00:24:29 Okay, we're gonna start you off with the congos, and we're gonna see if that works. I mean the bongos. Bongos in the congo. Okay, here we go, Ralph. She does that with all the men. It's really funny. She's like, stop it, James, stop it right now.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Respect my girlfriend, I'm mad. You know? Pull your pants up. You look ridiculous. Ralph, this is the last time I want to see you come in last in musical chairs. Okay? I've trained you well. You should be at least mid-pack by now.
Starting point is 00:24:54 All right. So they have this paint party and Isis is the paint lady. She's like, this is a critic painting. It's your... The animal will be your guardian during your life. So choose an animal that speaks's your animal. The animal will be your guardian during your life. So choose an animal that speaks to your soul. Ralph, why is your animal asleep already? God, the first thing you painted was sleeping eyes.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Okay, Ralph, repeat after me. Okay, I'm going to sing a song. When I stop singing, sit down. Money can't buy you. Line, that was not a stop, that was me trying to figure out the rest of the line. Stand up hard to get up now straight onto the floor. Ralph, when you sit down, you have to sit down in a chair. Come on, you can do this. Okay, so they have to paint spirit animals. So Ashley's like, okay, who are all the other dragons?
Starting point is 00:25:48 And Shannon's like, Luan took the other dragon. I'm keeping the dragon. Dragon, sit down. All right, Ralph, last time I checked, the dragon beat you in musical chairs. It's unacceptable. All right, from the top. So Ashley and Luan also picked dragon. So the producers like,
Starting point is 00:26:07 if you were to face off, whose dragon is winning? And Shannon's like, Giselle, Giselle's dragon's going to win. Let's be honest. My dragon really just wants a decent appetizer and some clean towels. I, I, um, I was born in the year of the dragon, but it's a rare dragon. It's a dragon that only eats quinoa. It's a very healthy and holistic dragon. Ralph's like, why am I so into this? So then Ashley's like, I just love Ralph.
Starting point is 00:26:37 I mean, look how he lights up painting his little chameleon. I could just see him hanging out with my kids, them falling asleep and one of my kids turning on a stove and possibly starting the house on fire. And then I'd be like, oh Ralph, did you fall asleep again? And then I'd shake him a little and say, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Might throw water on him, he'd come back. And I thought, Ralph. And he said, I was going towards the light. I said, Ralph, you're supposed to be babysitting. Where was I? There was no indication that Ralph was lighting up any more than anyone else while he was painting his spirit animal.
Starting point is 00:27:09 He's like, oh yeah, let's get that paint on the animal. I'm like, he's just painting. She's like, oh, look how he lights up. I'm like, you're projecting Ashley. He is dead in the eyes. And so of course, James is all over Luan and is making Mark crazy. And James is like, give me the bank.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Give me the bank. I want to pay. You're making me nervous, James. And I like it. I know he has like paint on his face. He's like painted Luanne and like what was so weird was like this was not like face paint. This was like ceramic paint and like Luanne has like a little like avatar like dots and lines and things.
Starting point is 00:27:45 And I don't know why, they were the only two people that were doing this. Because it's not face paint. I feel like it's not healthy to put ceramic paint on your face. I feel like it's a bad thing to do, right? But they're just doing their own weird ass. You're talking about Luan.
Starting point is 00:27:56 I mean. They're acting like a couple you would see on HBO, Real Sex. Where you're like, oh yeah, this'll be sexy. And it's just like, oh, it's creepy. Yeah, they're painting themselves and each other and getting all sexy with it and just laughing. And everyone's staring at them like, what the hell? So Giselle's telling Mark to get over it and stop letting James bring her down. Then they talk about their kids and she had to get one of the girls out
Starting point is 00:28:20 of Florida because there was a hurricane coming. Dun, dun dun dun. First we've heard of it this episode. And Mark is like, yeah, Earl, Pearl's nervous about that. He's got a house there. So she turns to Earl and she's like, are you nervous about the hurricane? This is the best thing that ever happened to me. I had to evacuate my daughter. Tell me about the hurricane. Are you going to cry? And he's like, well, I've been thinking about it all day and I'm getting alerts for Pinellas County where my house is and I'm just very scared that a hurricane can knock over some sort of farm stand and vegetables could get into the house. I just don't want that to happen two homes, two homes, Shannon. And she's like, well, yes, he has a second home in St. Petersburg. It's not on the water.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Oh, this is their takeaway. There's a hurricane aiming towards his house and their takeaway is, oh, he has a second house. And she's like, yeah, shitty one inland. No, not waterfront property. Well, that's great. I will look forward to seeing the views of more land. Why would we call you Earl and the Pearl?
Starting point is 00:29:35 Those are sea creatures. Earl the Squirrel. That's what an Earl should be. Earl the Squirrel, living in a tree. Do they have plenty of water towers where you live since you are so far from the coast where you can get fresh water? Well, soft water, but you know what I'm saying. Uh, Laura, I want to bring everybody together for a brief moment to talk about something that fascinates me. Liza Minnelli and Flip Flops, I have never, I mean, have some self-respect. Your sister is Lorna Luft, a Cabaret legend.
Starting point is 00:30:07 It's just terrible. And so they're all are like laughing at her face makeup. And she goes, well, the story goes like this. Friends and I met in Tulum, Mexico, that is, not Tulum, Idaho, and started the biggest fetish festival in the world. Or I should say, I met in Tulum, Mexico that is, not Tulum, Idaho, and started the biggest fetish festival in the world. Or I should say, I met friends who then started that. I didn't meet them and then we started.
Starting point is 00:30:31 The point is, it's a fetish festival. So, fetishes, am I right? And so Giselle goes, oh well, Luanna, what's your fetish? Well, my fetish, much like Amy Grant, is hats. And I'm like, and we see footage of her being like, hi, fetish, much like Amy Grant, it's hats. And we see footage of her being like, here's this, okay, here's one fedora, here's one that's a slightly smaller fedora, this is called a French fedora. Are you watching, James?
Starting point is 00:30:54 Pay attention to the hats. Do you have sex with hats on? I've never heard of a fetish with hats. Is that a thing? My fetish is calories. That really gets me going. Just getting there towards the end zone and saying, how many calories in a bagel?
Starting point is 00:31:11 And if you can't answer, boom, dead. I'm cold inside. My, my, I would say that my fetish are quest nutrition bars. I just enjoy them so much. Oh, is it a sexual fetish? Oh, well, in that case, I think my sexual fetish is just wrapping myself in a sheet and closing my eyes. Sexy, though.
Starting point is 00:31:33 My fetish is dating the housewife. Okay, well, that is called a fame monger, darling. That's a fame monger, darling. Yeah, that's not a good answer. So, Wale is like, yeah, but James, you kind of have to take them in dosages. And Ralph was like, I mean, it's like, shut the fuck up already, I'm over it.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Oh. So Shannon asks what Ralph's fetish is, he goes, silence. Ooh, that's sexy. Silence sex. I love it. So they all laugh. And then Ashy's asking Mitch if he likes Luanne.
Starting point is 00:32:13 And he's like, oh yeah. Like she's unbelievable. Like she could do whatever the hell she wants. So attractive and cool, even with all that crazy face makeup. But I've only had all five minutes. And she's like, well, you gotta go assert yourself. Okay, assert yourself. I can definitely do that in a very chill, calm way've only had all five minutes. And she's like, well, you gotta go assert yourself. Okay, assert yourself.
Starting point is 00:32:26 I can definitely do that in a very chill, calm way for the rest of the episode. This guy, this guy came out of nowhere. He was like literally the guy sitting in the back of the bowling alley with the cigarette. He never bowls. Like what is that guy even doing here? And then suddenly he gets up and starts yelling at somebody.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Who are you? So he's like, yeah, Ashley says, you don't get good vibes. And he's like, I'm a psychotherapist girl. They're talking about James being crazy. So Ashley's like, which might be onto something, you know, James is sweet and kind, but I mean, he's ready to pop the question right now. I mean, slow down player. So Mark and Giselle are painting and he asked her for a talk. Oh my gosh. So he's like, so is it not true that you and I have only had one chance to talk?
Starting point is 00:33:11 Now I know that this might seem weird to you, but I found out you've got daughters in their twenties. So. Yeah. So I just want you to know, I saw that you are a lady and you exist in this Villa. So, are you okay? What's happening over there? What are you seeing? Is it an animal? Ronnie is looking out his window. Something has caught.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Ronnie's attention. Two ladies talking in my driveway and I was like, who is that? And I looked down there and they've both got caution, those yellow caution vests on. I don't know what they're doing. It's a sign, it's a sign. James is coming, caution. I should go have a ma-rake.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Caution, rake coming, take this, do something. Do something while you're talking in my driveway. Could use your rake. Here's a leaf blower. So Mark is basically trying to bark up Giselle's tree. Even though a second ago he was getting mad at James, it's like you listen, you need to create some buffer space before you get jealous over Luan suitor before you decide you're going to pivot to Giselle. And on top of that, not only was he getting jealous about James, he was venting to
Starting point is 00:34:19 Giselle about it. So now he's pivoting and saying, by the way, I'm interested in you. And she's like, no, you're focused on Luan. Then you got booted out and saying, by the way, I'm interested in you. And she's like, no, you're focused on Luan. Then you got booted out and now you're back. And then you're focused on back to Luan as it should. And then it's like week three and you're like, Oh, Giselle, let's chat because I'm sick of playing the ones game. Ma. Yeah. It's like, come on. I knew I begged a defer. Come on. The truth is I'm attracted to you. She's like, this doesn't make any sense. Mark the end. The end period.
Starting point is 00:34:44 He goes, the end. She's the end. I love that. She's like, this doesn't make any sense, Mark. The end, da. The end, da. Period, da. He goes, the end? She goes, the end. I love that. She's like, no, no. Because what he should have said was, you know, the truth was I came here, you know, I was into, into Luan, but I've, I've sort of realized Luan, like, is, is not my style and the more I've gotten to know you, I've realized that actually I had, there's someone here that I've completely turned a blind eye towards.
Starting point is 00:35:05 And that was a total mistake on my part because the more I've gotten to know you, the more I realized that you're actually the one. He doesn't do any of that. He's just like, yeah, I like you now. You got to be a little smoother about it, Mark. Yeah, he was not good. So he knows he fucked that one up. So, um, he goes to get a drink. So now Phil comes to talk to Gisele and he's like, I don't want any guy to talk to you, but you know, we are at the love hotel. Things happen at the love hotel.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Yes, we are here. And Lord have mercy, we are here. I think I had a bad date last night with Cynthia and I'm surprised you don't know Cynthia because she lives in Los Angeles. Oh no, I do know her. Her and Mike have been to the house in Bel-El. And she's like, um, did you tell her that? And it's like, no, no, I didn't tell her because she didn't recognize me and I've only met her one time I think. I know Mike, Mike, very trustworthy man. I know Mike very well. Mike, you're barely here. Just I was like, Cynthia Bailey has been to your home
Starting point is 00:36:12 and you didn't mention that. When you don't share information, makes me feel like you're hiding something, which is lying. I actually also think this is weird. I get it, it's like, oh, she didn't remember me. I'm not gonna even bother doing the whole name game thing. But I feel like Mark really picks and chooses
Starting point is 00:36:24 the information he gives. And I think it would just drive me absolutely nuts. Not, I don't know. I'm not even, I'm sorry. Yeah. Phil, I'm not even sure that it's like even malicious. I just would go nuts being like, wait, why didn't you tell me that? It'd be that constantly.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. If anything, it makes him look kind of climber-ish because like you're a friend of Bravo people, now you ended up on a Bravo show. Maybe that's why he didn't say it. Or maybe he's just like, oh, I'm just one with the world, I know everybody. Cynthia's been to my home.
Starting point is 00:36:55 I mean, Cynthia didn't even recognize him. So it's not like he's got something going on with Cynthia. It also says something about Cynthia that she went to someone's home and then like didn't even remember, like didn't even remember the guy who's home she went to someone's home and then like didn't even remember like Didn't even remember the guy. I hope she went to that's me. I Nice to meet you. No, I'm not long ago smoked a lot of weed
Starting point is 00:37:17 So Meanwhile James and Luanne are looking at a flower Do you do something funny like you're being born from the flower, James. Yes, yes, all right, we're gonna take a photo of you, James. He's like, ah, say cheese. Yes, that's the photo, James. So now Earl and Shannon are talking about her feelings over her kids leaving. And she's like, oh, well, I'm good.
Starting point is 00:37:40 I'm gonna see them in two weeks. And I'll find my friends every moment of the day. I click it. I Make their watches beep just say it lost Lost her phone lost her lost her phone beep beep beep mom. Why are you making my phone call me back? Lost my daughter Thank You Steve jobs How are you Earl? And he's like I'm a little down tonight, but I've been getting calls all day
Starting point is 00:38:04 Everyone's shitting bricks pretty much. Oh, well, I have actually a galatic you can use. It wasn't on the shelves for very long, but it should last. I mean, it's wet, goes up your butt, things come out. So. I have a question, Earl. Why do you want to have a house there if there's so much possibility of damage? You know what?
Starting point is 00:38:21 I take that back because people ask me that the same question, except it was phrased as why do you want to marry that man when there's such a possibility of damage. You know what, I take that back because people ask me that the same question except it was phrased as why do you want to marry that man when there's such a possibility of damage? So I guess I understand. I was going to say it's like anybody who dates you could be asked the same question. Like you're dating Shannon, you know you're going to be damaged by the end. Chad knows a thing or two about damage potential. So headline, Helene rumbles into Georgia as dangerous category one hurricane after slamming Florida. Earl, who is Helene? Why have you not been open to me, Helene? So he's like, well, you know, we never took a direct hit in Pinellas County, victim blamer. Geez. Oh, you haven't? Oh, well, then okay. I take it back. Pinellas County, victim-blamer. Geez. She's like, oh, you haven't? Oh, okay, I take it back.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Pinellas County, never been hit. Why would you be worried? And he's like, well, you know. And Pinellas County, which as we all know, is in Texas, Georgia, Florida. Where is that again? Where in the lake is Pinellas County? It's Pinellas County.
Starting point is 00:39:22 That's the, I wasn't sure if that was Lawrenceville County or it was Tampa County, but it says Tampa County. It's Pinellas County. Yes. That's the, the, I wasn't sure if that was the Lawrenceville County or his Tampa County, but it says Tampa County. Well, you know, the last two years it was coming for me and then it went right. Well, it might change. It might just go left to right and backwards, forwards,
Starting point is 00:39:37 somebody drive up down so many directions, reverse circle. I'm sorry. Well, I come to the land of earthquakes. I'm really not sure how to do hurricane toxic positivity. I'll just say, you're doing great. And find a door frame. Does that work for hurricanes? No.
Starting point is 00:39:55 But also it kind of cracked me up when Shannon's like, wow, why wouldn't you, why would you live somewhere so dangerous, Earl? You moron. You live in California. I know. Who are you talking about? We literally are in fear of death every day here. And we just keep going on, just building other home goods.
Starting point is 00:40:12 She doesn't really know what to say. So she's like, well, I have a feeling you're going to be a-okay, Earl. They don't call you Earl the Pearl for nothing. Pearls go through a lot. They have to live inside an oyster shelf for most of their lives before they get spat out and rejected, much like me and my relationships just thrown out even though I myself am a precious precious little item
Starting point is 00:40:30 But that's fine. Just shoot me out While you go and walk on the beach with your slutty oyster friend. I'm sorry. What were you saying earl? Well, you know, you're right. It could go anyway And that's one of the things i'm crazy about with you the way you care the way you care Oh, I sure do Forgot what we were talking about, but I'll be right back after I get a bag coke with tequila in it Oh, do you want something you were saying something that you were you were concerned about hurricanes I can tell you that they go down very easily and they're not they really don't have as much alcohol content as you think so
Starting point is 00:41:02 Don't be afraid of the hurricanes. They're so good they even have a glass named after them. So. Commercials, here comes one right now. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time like Quibi.
Starting point is 00:41:39 It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats. Like if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Enjoy the big flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the big flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. So, Phil, how are you feeling? And Phil's like, well, I'm feeling good. You know, I've been hot a few times. Like the one time GPS took me out of Bel Air. That hurt. But I got home. It was okay. Yes, well we've all been hurt to fill. I know, but for me I'm 63, so I don't
Starting point is 00:42:31 have much time left to get hurt again. Look, I'm speaking like you Giselle. I don't have time to play games and hide myself. I can see us being friends. I can see us being lovers. I can see us picking up trash in Bel Air and wondering who left this trash? Who would do it? Running DNA tests on the trash to see if anybody left skin cells so we could take it to the H.O.A. and bring them down. How dare you mess with Bel Air? Ah! Friends and lovers, ah! This is new. Phil doesn't talk like this. Where has this guy been? I'm happy that he's finally expressing himself, but is it because we are coming to the end of the love hotel or do you really love Gisele's dirty drawers? Which one is it?
Starting point is 00:43:13 Ah. I think typical Gisele fashion. She speaks in third person. She goes, Gisele has to make a decision. Nah. He's like, yeah, Giselle does. So Wale and Ashley are gonna have a conversation and he's like, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. And she's like, you did in Rhode Island? Are there tough neighbors in Rhode Island? Yeah, there are tough neighborhoods everywhere. Oh, I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:43:35 I mean, educate me. I mean, in my household, it was super loving. So there was always confidence in me for my mother because my mother is big on words of affirmation. Like I never want a day without being told, like I'm smarter, handsome, or I love you. If you hear that all the time, even if it's not true, you're going to believe it. Big things do. And that's what I always do with my niece too.
Starting point is 00:43:54 I'm always trying to compliment her and make her feel good. I'm a real family man. She's like, oh my God, that is so beautiful, Wale. You know what? The situation with like their, like my children, their father, like it didn't work out. Like Wale saying this, he just got like a thousand more points.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Unfortunately, Ralph just got 10,000 more points because he snorted out all the ceramics. He's like, I believe the words matter. She's like, they do. I gotta poop, be right back. And he's like, oh, wait a minute. I was like poop be right back. And he's like, oh, wait a minute He's like well, but can I kiss you one more time in case you disappear because you know what happens when you go to the bathroom That's all i'm saying. She's like how dare you how dare you? How did I just mean you'll never come back? Oh that um, well, that's not true. He's like it is true
Starting point is 00:44:42 Okay. Well touche touche, but you know what my poop's not staying. It's like, it is true. Okay, well, touche, touche. But you know what? My poop's not staying in there, so. So they do kiss. And now, 66, 65 hours until checkout, and Luanne and James are laying on pool chairs, and they're all intertwined. Come here, James. You know, the great thing about us
Starting point is 00:45:02 is that both of us sometimes get real busy in our worlds. Yeah're in Maui I mean how's that gonna work out to the even half cabarets in Maui I don't think so well I'm busy but it's gonna work Louann don't you worry she says you need a private plane because I got a peepee right here honey huh that was funny I'm gonna use that on my bit. Wow, I really like peepees. You know, I don't know what a long distance relationship would look like with James, but we have incredible chemistry together. He cares about me so much. Yeah, when we leave this hotel, our relationship is gonna get even better.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Yeah, it's not that I don't trust James. It's just, it's just like, you know, it's just how hard it is on a relationship because I've been through it all. I don't trust James. It's just, it's just like, you know, it's just how hard it is on a relationship because I've been through it all. I've been to prison, I've been traveling. I've been to Maui sometimes. I don't know if I can do it. We'll manifest all the dreams we ever had. Lou Ann, me, you, my pee pee, my face makeup.
Starting point is 00:45:59 It's gonna be great. She's like, all right, let's see number one. Right now I wanna manifest a kiss. Give me a kiss, wife of mine. All right, let's see number one. Right now I want to manifest a kiss. Give me a kiss, wife of mine. All right, that's crazy. I want to see inside your bedroom at all times. That's why I haven't sold cameras in there. That is disgusting and so attractive.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Make out with me, you beast. Please let me know what my angles are so I can adjust the lighting appropriately. So Theo and Giselle are talking, and Theo's like, she's like, so have you ever done modeling? I have modeled, but I'm actually too short to model. Oh, but what about print modeling or something sad
Starting point is 00:46:34 and pathetic like that? Well, I suppose I could do print the way you say it. Well, I'm not a model, but I did do some runway years ago. So guess what? You just got Theoed, because me asking you about modeling, really, I didn't care. I just want to tell you that I once walked on a runway. So yeah, I was great. I loved it. You know, you just walk down and then you walk back up again. It was a, it was a fine establishment called the Brownstone. Have you ever heard
Starting point is 00:46:56 of it? The brand was called Posh. And Theo's like, yeah, I had the whole walk down and everything. And so he was an ex Ford model, wow. And then we see- No, he was- Was this Theo or Phil? Theo was- No, Phil just did like a show,
Starting point is 00:47:14 but then Giselle's like, well, I could definitely see Theo on a runway. And the producer goes, well, you know that Phil is an ex Ford model. Giselle's like, what? And we see photos of Phil modeling and doing runway work. Yeah, like fairly recently. And he's like, oh yes, I've worked
Starting point is 00:47:29 with the Ford modeling agents. He had been with them for about 40 years. It's a very enjoyable, welcome item, amount of many talents. One of them is doing this. She's like, wait, why am I just finding this out now and not even from him? She's like, you know, you've made me feel like I don't know what it is. There's something about dude.
Starting point is 00:47:50 I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is, Theo. And I was like, well, I've got no problem with self-confidence. I see that. Oh, Giselle, just finding reasons to pull away. Yeah, I don't mind Theo. To be honest, I really don't mind Theo. Theo hasn't done anything that's actually rubbed me
Starting point is 00:48:06 the wrong way. And again, I'm just- I don't like Theo because of his very first, oh God, I'm trying to readjust my mic arm because of his, am I turning it the wrong way? It's lefty Lucy, right? God damn it. But I never know which-
Starting point is 00:48:18 Oh jeez, oh jeez. Oh no, the microphone. Now I lost it. I guess we could have seen that one coming. I don't like him because in the very beginning, he was like, he said something like, my ex, oh yeah, my ex wife, blah, blah, blah. He's something like my ex wife is a bitch.
Starting point is 00:48:33 And I'm like, what is that kind of first impression? Yeah. He also maybe has- He gave me the creeps. And he's also the one who's like, yeah, women just want me because I'm a doctor. They want me for all my money. I'm like, oh, please. Yeah. And we probably should be wary of him having such a good body. Like he
Starting point is 00:48:50 should not have as good of a body as he does. And so that means he probably likes to go out and play the field. Let's be honest. So Ashley is now talking to Ralph. So were you uncomfortable? I mean, were you comfortable talking about your fetishes? Or was that like like it was just a setting he's like, oh Not in that particular environment no, I didn't really want to talk about there. She's like, oh, okay. Well, um for my for You know for my few 30 30 60 or 36 years I live quite a bit of a life and I had a lady relationship the last couple years
Starting point is 00:49:22 So what do you think about that? He's like, well And I had a lady relationship the last couple of years. So what do you think about that?" And he's like, well, if it's something part of who you are, it should be discussed. And if it's just like, well, I'm just kind of over, just like a phase. And that's a whole other conversation. Oh, daddy. It's like, it's not a phase, Ralph. I mean, this is supposed to be turning you on.
Starting point is 00:49:39 Okay? He's like, no, gay people are terrifying. It's like, well, I'm just going to go where my feelings take me. And he's like, well, she goes, well, yeah, why, well, I'm just gonna go where my feelings take me. And he's like, well, she goes, well, yeah, why don't I just, I mean, if you were a female and I was interested in Rachel versus Ralph. And he's like, I don't want a female name.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Thank you. Okay. Extremely heteronormative. So anything we can do to stay on that path would be great. Please don't damage my self image. So then Ralph is like, my relationships. I see Ashley dating an older man, obviously, because we have seen it.
Starting point is 00:50:11 She was married, she's dating Ralph now. But I don't see her dating an older woman. I see her as like a hot girl, bye. Don't you? Yeah, she's not, no. She's not gonna go date Cherry Jones next. No. You know what I mean? She's not no like she's not gonna date Cherry Jones next. No, I mean She's she's not going for Holland Taylor. Okay, and I just yeah
Starting point is 00:50:29 I just point that out cuz she's like well if you were a female Ralph, you would not date female Ralph cut it out Yeah, nope So she's just talking about how she really likes monogamy now and you know blah blah blah and Ralph was like I don't judge And I appreciate that she's open like that and not scared whatsoever He likes monogamy now and you know, blah, blah, blah. And Ralph was like, I don't judge. And I appreciate that she's open like that and not scared whatsoever. Are you gonna make me wear a dress? Please don't make me do this.
Starting point is 00:50:52 I think you do judge because people who don't judge don't say, I don't judge. Like the fact that you're even saying judge means that there's something there to judge. There's not really anything there to judge. She dates whoever she wants when she's not with you. It doesn't... You were a little bit too testy about
Starting point is 00:51:09 don't give me a female name to make me feel like you don't judge. Like that's... Well, and also why are you threatened by her saying if her name was Rachel? Usually I don't judge is followed by something like just keep it to yourself. Or like I don't judge, but I don't need to hear about it.
Starting point is 00:51:24 You know? It's giving me, it's giving me creepo vibes with that one. Well, I've been trying hard to not like fall for you completely and it scares the shit out of me. I'm just so terrified. Yeah. So Mitch is getting some one-on-one time with Luan finally. So he's like, so what kind of man do you want to come home to?
Starting point is 00:51:47 What do you need? What do I need? I mean, is it money, looks, power? That will get most people into bad relationships. Well, well, what I look for, honestly, money, looks, and power. Wait a second. What are you trying to say? Mitch, don't judge me.
Starting point is 00:52:04 And he's like, well, I got to tell you about James. That guy, he doesn't treat you with respect, and I can't believe you take it. She's like, well, it's obvious that James and I would get along. We like each other a lot. How dare you? And guess what? He just got me a drink at the bar.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Goodbye. Because Luanne immediately was like, red flags. What? And she starts looking around nervously, like, how the hell do I get out of this conversation with this strange man from Survivor? I don't like this anymore. So she basically escapes. And yeah, that was a wrong move on his part.
Starting point is 00:52:36 I mean, if you're going to come on to the land, be like, listen, that guy's a weirdo. Come with me or not even say that. Just be like, you know, I think you've been spending so much time with James. You haven't realized there's other options right in front of you or something. But to go just like, you know, the tattletale on the guy or like try and get the guy in trouble is a wuss move. He was too much in his psychotherapist role because him saying to her, oh, money, power and whatever will get a lot of people to trouble.
Starting point is 00:53:02 It's almost like he's passing judgment on her choices and she's immediately turned off. He should just been like, I know you and James have a connection, but you know, I think I don't know what he would have said, but pretty much anything other than what he said, it was really a big, it was really bad. And besides, you know what? Money and power may get me into trouble, but guess what? What else it gets me into? Money and power. She's like, stop trying to rewrite my song. I know all the lessons. It's called Money Can't Buy You Class, okay? Learn my catalog before you sit down with me.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Yeah. So now she goes to find James and she pretends that she's getting a drink, but she's not. She's just like, get me out of here, get me out of here. And so then James comes down and he's shirtless and she's like, oh my God, James, why don't you have a shirt on?
Starting point is 00:53:49 Go put a shirt on, it's disgusting. Because they're all gathering for like another scene with Joel, so they're all gathering around the sofas and he's like just shirtless for some reason. He's like, what? I was too hot. No, you can't be in here without a shirt. Go back to your room and get a shirt.
Starting point is 00:54:03 No, they told me no shirt. No, absolutely not. Not under my watch, okay? No, in here without a shirt. Go back to your room and get a shirt. No, they told me no shirt. No, absolutely not. Not under my watch, okay? No, but I want a better. No, no, it doesn't look chic. Get out of here. Go get a shirt on. Am I in trouble?
Starting point is 00:54:12 Yes, get the hell out of here. I'm mad from the psychotherapist and now you. It's terrible. And Ashley goes, yeah, she's very much about decorum. Oh yeah, the Countess. Huge on decorum. She was like, really? She has sex with hats.
Starting point is 00:54:20 So, I'm like, no, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. And Ashley goes, yeah, she's very much about decorum. Oh yeah, the Countess, huge on decorum. Shannon's like, really? She has sex with hats, so. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:54:31 And she all turns to Phil and goes, well, you were the fashionista. You're supposed to tell James. He's like, well, I told him that we always wear shirts in bad air, but he doesn't listen. So then Shannon's wearing this big striped hat and Joe loves it. And he's like, Oh, wow. So who's this gorgeous woman behind the hat?
Starting point is 00:54:52 It's so Titanic. Can't wait for it to sink. Okay. Uh, everybody. Let's talk to her. It's nice to know that the kitchen staff here has watched Titanic. I thought that was only an American thing. That's so lovely.
Starting point is 00:55:07 I love that the kitchen staff can watch films where the kitchen staff dies. That's very brave of you, person. Oh, and as long as you're here, sir, from the kitchen, I just want to say, for the gentleman to my left, no vegetables, please. Thank you so much. Look at me being supportive. People on the Titanic learn too. A little too late, but still.
Starting point is 00:55:31 So Joel's like, any announcements to make? And Earl's like, I've got one. Shannon gave me her key and asked me to move in with her. Well, if Luan can fuck a hat, I can try it with Earl. When I learned that one of his two houses was landlocked, I thought, let me let him see what it's like to have a view of the ocean for once. So I said, come on in, Earl, move into my house,
Starting point is 00:55:54 my hotel house, I'm sure nothing will go wrong. So everybody is like applauding them and stuff. And Shannon's like, well, it is very bold of me. And I'm not in a rush to get there before anyone else, but it's crunch time. Not literally, I don't do those. But Earl, can we make it beyond the love hotel? You know, living situation.
Starting point is 00:56:15 I know my daughters and I don't see Earl being compatible because I said, do you see me being compatible? And they said, ah, and then they tried to run away. And then I pressed to find my daughters and it started beeping. And I said, get out of then they tried to run away. And then I pressed to find my daughters and they started beeping and I said, get out of the bathroom and answer my question. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:31 And then they said, mom, why do you have so much chocolate face, chocolate on your face? And I said, well, it's crunch time. And then they took away my Nestle's Crunch Bar, which was sad. So, just like, well, maybe I want simple. Maybe I want a man who has very simple who cares about going
Starting point is 00:56:48 to the Bass Pro Shop and Tommy Bahamas and seeing land and not see. And I don't know, that could be a nice life for me. I can learn to like it, I think, Pinellas County, wherever that is. So Ashley thinks it's a good idea. Luann's like, terrible idea. Oh my God. I hope she doesn't have vegetables in her room. Let's put it that way. I know, actually does. Ralph's over there all the time.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Hey everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King.
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