Watch What Crappens - #2895 Below Deck S12E03: It’s a Hard Knoxx Life

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

It’s the big one!  A five day charter on Below Deck threatens to unravel the crew, and with a gaggle of gay porn stars on board, there will be tears, panic attacks, and lube stains. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love to talk about. I'm Ben. That's Ronnie. How's it going, Ronnie? Well, hello, Ben. How are you?

I am doing just fabulously. We are here to talk about Below Deck. Before we do that, just a reminder, there's like not a lot of time left. We have our final show of the Mountain Cisteria Tour this Thursday in Hollywood at the Fonda Theater. It's gonna be absolutely amazing. We're talking about the valley.

It's the show that everyone's talking about. So let's talk about it together. Let's all be there, have this big Los Angeles moment. Come join us please. Because we want to send this one out with a bang. So go to watch or crappens.com. There's a link to the tickets there. And we will see you on Thursday.

Be there, be square. Also Patreon is going off because Love Island is going off right now. It's so fun and we are recapping it every day that we are recording this year podcast. So come join us there at patreon.com slash watch where crap ends. We're having a blast and it's great to see everyone chiming in on the comments there as well as on Discord and everywhere else. So that's all the news that's fit to print and also crap is on demand where you can watch us not just listen to us.

Hi, hi people on video. So let's dive into some below deck. St. David's stocked. Below deck. Oh yes. The first ever five day charter. That's a lot. It's a lot.

That's a lot of gayness from that little guy who everything is a dick joke. Wow. So this is a gay porn episode. We are gay and have access to internet. I knew a couple of these guys. I mean, not in real life, but like I've seen their work and it made me so excited. I was like, oh my God, hi.

You're like, oh my God, you're doing such great work. I only recognize one of them actually. I recognize Cade, what's his face, but no, I didn't recognize anyone else. Cade Maddox is the one that I really recognize cause wow, that guy is something else. And then the other one I recognize is Sky Knox, who's the main one, who's always like,

oh my God, I'll tell you what we want, a dick in her ass. Like that's the primary. And I recognize him, he was in one, I don't know, listen, I know people probably don't wanna come to this and hear about porn, but it's a show about porn today. So you're gonna have to hear it.

I saw this porn where he was camping with his friend and they're like, hey, our friends are supposed to show up. He's like, I know, where are our friends? They have our sleeping bags. And he's like, yeah, but they're not here though. And he's like, yeah, but where are they though? Cause they have all our food and our sleeping bags. And he's like, yeah, but our friends aren't coming.

And he's like, yeah, but they're supposed to come. He's like, yeah, I know bro, but what are we gonna do about it? And he's like, well, but our friends aren't coming. And he's like, yeah, but they're supposed to come. He's like, yeah, I know, bro, but what are we gonna like do about it? And he's like, well, I don't know either. And he's like, well, it really helps me to like jerk off when I'm stressed out. And he's like, me too, we should do that, but you better not get close to me.

I don't even wanna see your penis. And he's like, okay. And then they get in the tent. He's like, there's a rock on the ground. I should move closer. And then, you know, it ends up happening. This guy knocked his ass knocked out of the park. That's what happened.

He got knocked, that's for sure. Hey, I guess that's where his name comes from. I do love the opening skits in a gay porn, or it really could be any porn, but especially the gay porn ones, because they're like, they just have a certain kind of like arc to them, you know, like, oh man, here's your pizza.

I mean, I guess that's on the straight porn too, but it's always something silly. There's a lot of stuff like, hey, I'm your stepfather and my, oh man, you better do your homework. I'm stressed because my wife has been out of town and I just get so horny when she's not here, you know? And then, you know, it just cracked me up.

That it's like, wow, our friends aren't here. They're supposed to be here. Well, might as well jerk off together and then bang each other anally. I guess so. God bless, doing great work, Sky. Sky Maddox, is that what you know? Sky Knox.

Sky Knox. The Cade Maddox? Cade Maddox and Sky Knox? No. Skynox. Double X. The Kadematics? Kadematics and Skynox, yeah. Skynox. Yeah. Well, you're doing great work. Keep it up. And then I was telling my friends,

because I watched this screener and I was telling my friends, hey, so this is like a gay porn episode of Below Deck. And you know, they had this guy, Kadematics on it. He's so hot. And then my friends looked up Kadematics and they're like, ooh, that's your type? Gross, Ronnie.

Ugh. And then they judged me all night for liking Cade Maddox. Like, what the hell? That guy's cute, right? Is it in my head? Yeah, no, he's cute. I mean, Cade Maddox is definitely like, I think he's like a really famous one,

because he like pops up. I feel like he's, I see him on Instagram or everywhere. Like I think he's appeared on many things I feel like. He's a hard worker. Yeah. He does a lot. Okay. The man. Yeah, he hustles.

The man is like the candy burris of porn stars. He's just always working. Yes, absolutely. That's exactly correct. So this is probably the best time to announce Ben and I have both molded our penises into Build us that you can buy on watch or crap. It's calm. Yes. Yes, that is now part of our merch set We'll be doing a collab with Kade Maddox and sky Sky Rizzi actually surprise you thought I was gonna start sky Rizzi actually surprise.

You thought I was going to say the star sky Rizzi. Yeah. Mine is just a Fupa with a tiny turtle head poking out. Cause it's shy. Well, we are so happy for our porn stars. Cause they got to go on a boat and do porn star things, which mainly accounts, it basically is just like, like, yes, you're a twink, which,

you know, that's like, that's like the vibe. So anyway, though, before they even come on board where we last left off, yeah. So Frenchie has just come on onto the ship and he is saying, I was in the position last year and I know how intense and tough it is. And he is saying, I was in the position last year. And I know how intense and tough it is. And Fraser's like, Yes, well, we've got your back. And that's all that matters. And I'm going to get back to work with the girls. Love you. Can't wait to see what you cook. And then afterwards, going up to Captain Kerry and say how you're overwhelmed. Ta ta. We've got your back. I'm just looking for the proper area to stab it in. And Anthony's like, oh, me and Fraser,

it's like he's such a part of my family, you know, but he's also maybe part of my departure. So, I don't know. It's going to be hard between charter, between everything going on, how to talk to Fraser, but I have to find a way to talk to Fraser. Oh my God, what am I going to do? I'm going to put on my tightest jeans

and more eyebrow pencil than anybody could imagine. I don't know why it's so hard to talk to Fraser. Doesn't he have a call-in show? Hey-o, 1990s sitcom callback. So Fraser, get it! So Fraser is like, he's telling everyone to work on their cabins and everything. And he's telling Rainbow to hang around Celine because Celine is a disaster and Rainbow is

really good. And Rainbow's like, can I say something? I'm not going to say please. I'm not going to say thank you. I'm just going to be like, do this, do that. And so he's like, yeah, I know, I know. And I'll say, why? Why?

And I will tell you. I'm not children. So Anthony's like, my whole life, I've never been with anyone in the galley or the kitchen. So it can be very challenging, you know? Like drama, chef, chef, ooh, big man. Big strong man like chef, big strong man like chef, big strong man like me. We'll see how it goes." And it goes beautifully. They get along so well.

I'm actually surprised that the other chef even quit after this, because Anthony eased him into it, made him see that it's doable. The guy was doing well. He didn't have any nervous breakdowns. He only tried to proselytize to like three people in a fish. So yeah, I thought he was getting better. I loved when he baptized Anthony in a pool of green peas. That was just so lovely. He just poured them all out in the freezer and said, just dunk yourself in there. So meanwhile, Kao is instructing the deck team to do things and he's like, okay, all right. Well,

you know, by as the leader, wait, hold on before I can talk about myself, let's have fancy new beginning. And we see all these photos come up, the photos of KO as, as in his life. And then says, yeah, without a shirt, KO without a shirt, holding a fish, KO without a shirt, holding a surfboard, KO with that, a shirt, eating a sandwich. It's like, we get it. KO without a shirt. holding a fish. Keo without a shirt, holding a surfboard. Keo without a shirt, eating a sandwich. It's like, we get it, Keo without a shirt. I'm following.

I'm in. You know, as the boss, I'm the leader of the group. So everything relies on me. And you know, I work hard to achieve the position. I grew up in Rio and my first job was on a yacht. I was the chef on a 27 meter. And then they show a shot of him like standing on a table, like squatting on a table, like he's about to poop on it, barefoot.

I'm like, okay. Very intrigued by it. Like, wait, you were a chef, huh? So it talks about basically his friends still live in Rio, and they're engineers and lawyers and doctors. But he's going around the globe, which is not that common for someone who grew up in Rio. I guess, yeah.

He was like, in Rio, we don't do this. I was like, really? Did you not see the last season of Blow Duck Down Under? There was literally a Brazilian girl on there. Yeah, I've never heard that Rio's like, you better stay home and become a doctor. But I don't know what to do. I was like, I'm the first person to leave Brazil. Yeah.

Yeah. So Rainbow's like, hey, babe, I'm Celine. The bed doesn't need to be ironed if you Febreze it and you pull it. She's like, oh my God, why didn't you tell me that? Because she tell me iron, you tell me don't iron. You say look at my eyes. She tell me don't look at anything.

I mean, put you on the bed. I put you on the toilet. Nobody tells me nothing. What's there to be? Work smarter, not harder. Okay, yeah, can we just work smarter and everything gets done faster. Smarter, not harder, okay? Because in just work smarter and everything gets done faster. Smarter or not harder, okay?

Cause in your opinion, do you need to iron this sheet? No, maybe, I don't know. What's the sheet? Okay. I don't know, why we need sheet? Why don't we just leave it naked on the ground? You have to care about this bed. We can do that.

Whatever you're doing to this bed, care about it. I want to sleep with a plate of eggs on me. That's what I like. Egg. Okay, well, okay, you know what? It's done now. Let's just move on to the next step. Okay, just finish the bed, I can't.

Okay, I'm not gonna do this. You will do it? Okay, good job, you do it. Goodbye. All right, sorry. Rainbow's like, oh God, this conversation is a waste of my time. So, and he's like, whatever.

Like, spraying Windex on the bed. God bless her. So, Landis is like totally impervious to hearing what other people are saying. It's kind of amazing because they will act, they're actually getting like annoyed with her and she's like, okay, fine. That's fine, do what we want to do.

I don't care. She's like, whatever. So now it's 5,04 PM, 19 hours until charter. So now it's 6,45. Guess what? Nothing happened. Okay, so now dinner for the crew is ready and Frazier is radioing people to let them know.

And so Anthony is talking to French, to Solane and he's like, Oh, what is going on? I hear French over here. She's like, Oh, I'm fine. How are you in French? That was in French. He's like, uh, Anthony's like, Oh guys, can we have English? Some English guys. Okay.

Okay. English, English guys. So Rainbow apologized for yelling at so late and she goes, oh yes. It was very bad with me today. Are you yelling? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, too bad. I cannot eat yelling.

Otherwise I would have dinner already. So, you know, I have four days experience making bed is not perfect, but it's okay. Okay. It's not four days of experience of learning how to do the trapeze. It's making a bed. Like I think it should be like by hour four, you should pretty much have it down. And Rainbow's like, yeah, but a two minute conversation about whether or not to iron sheets is way too much for me.

Okay, like I can't. It's like, well, you know, I just think I better work ethic. You know, I was more than willing to learn. I will iron wall if you want me to iron wall, do it. But you know, these things take a time. So can do a soft, please easy. So then Barbara's like today Solene made a really nice bed everyone. I was really proud of her. She made a nice bed. So thank you so much. But she took two hours, but it was nice two hours, but it was a

nice bed. Carrie's like, Oh, we're laughing today. That won't be life in so much tomorrow on Giada. So now, Carrie and Fraser are going to go over prep sheets. So Fraser announces it's a five day chart. It's going to be a long one. And so he's like, Oh, they are a bon star. They're a bon star. Oh my God. They're a porn star. Oh, my God. All of them.

Our primary's name is Sky Knox. He's from Toronto. It's like, oh, my God, Toronto. Barbara's like, Jesus Christ, too much testosterone. This reference sheet is literally the only thing that Sky Knox has ever topped. So Sky Knox asked if he could submit his preference skeet instead of a reference sheet, And I said, absolutely not.

And Barbara's like, Oh, Jesus Christ, so much testosterone. Well, right. Night one should be Parisian cabaret lube in every room. Oh no. Just, just like any Parisian cabaret. And then Rainbow's like, Oh God, we're going to have so much penis on our face for the next five days. Yes. Okay. Marcel has a shellfish allergy, but a penchant for dick. Okay. Very important.

Everyone needs to know this. Lots of fish allergy and it's not figurative. So please let's hold the chance. No clams in all senses of the word. for the shafts. No clams in all senses of the word. So Fraser's like, Oh my God, we've got eight gay male porn stars. God, I just swallowed. That wasn't intentional. I'm terrified. We're going to be stretched. We're going to be pulled. We're going to be flipped. We're going to be fucked, but not in a good way. All right, guys, this is going to be a fucking hard charter. So we're going to be going to three islands. Okay, we'll head over to Anguilla and at nighttime,

they're going to be going off in kayaks on an adventure, a gay adventure. And then he says the next chart is going to be a doozy. It's a five day charter. We're going to do three islands, four countries, lots of gay sex on each of these islands have their own unique experiences. Anal, tea bagging, everything in between slings, swings, stings. And each evening we're having an epic theme parties that we've never done before. So this cruise is going to get spent. Yeah. So he's, they want to go to a nudist speech. I just look, I mean, I know that you do porn, but like, is that all, is that all you eat, breathe,

and what am I trying to think? That was my thought too. It's like, that's all they do. That's all they talk about. Everything's a dick joke. Everything has to do with, I don't know. It's like too much of your work life taken home. You know what I mean?

I thought porn stars went home and were just like playing Dungeons and Dragons or like reading books or something. Like I didn't understand. It was like all dick all the time. Yeah. But you know what? They got only fans accounts to promote probably. So hey, like you're on camera. So like promote, promote, promote. But I thought the same thing too. I was like, geez, I kind of, I sort of expected they were going to come on board and just be like, oh God, let's play chess. Yeah. We'll play Uno or something.

I felt like they'd be exhausted, you know, from having to go to the capers and- Yeah, I don't just walk around talking about housewives all day, you know, like I go to TJ Maxx or Home Goods or I play piano or play video games or something like that, or look at their porn, you know? I mean. I thought they would secretly all be tame gays. Like they were all gonna come on board and be like,

hey, does the chef mind if we all take over the kitchen and cook some barefoot Contessa recipes? Right, like I thought they were gonna sit down and be like, guys, does anybody know why Parade isn't really selling in LA? Buddy, so many tickets left. If you had to choose between Jesse Mueller and the lady from the band's visit, who would you choose?

Um, but no, they came on and they were like, Oh my God, you're a twink. Just so you know, you're a twink. Yeah. You're a twink. Just so you know, you're a twink. Yeah. Yeah. So they come on. Lawrence and Anthony are getting together to plan their meal

because the chefs are working together for this charter. So Lawrence is like, let's start from the top. We're starting off with oysters. Oysters would be nice. Oysters, a little champagne foam, probably like a little tiny nickel sized wafer that we could feed to people before we had them drink that down with wine and apologize to the Lord for everything that they've done. Oh, that is perfect. So those will be fillet, pureed, green beans, you know, it's not so hard. And he's like, he is very organized and he knows exactly what he's talking about. And most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing.

I am the tornado. It's like, oh great. Well, I'm so glad you got this job. Yeah. And Lawrence is like, I'm an anti tornado and you're a tornado, bro. You're not really an anti tornado, sir. You're calm today, but you were,

the tears were a fluttering and a funneling yesterday. Yeah, you were the storm clouds. You were the storm clouds. So Kyle and Barbara are looking at Kyle's like, here we go, Sky Knocks gay porn videos. Let's take a look see. So they look and Barbara's like, Oh my God, click, click, click, let's see. So they look, they're cracking up and Kyle's like, wow, gay porn is a lot more dramatic than straight porn. It's crazy. I would love it if like Skynox just doing like Macbeth porn, black and white Macbeth porn.

To be in my ass or not to be in my ass. And Barbara's like, oh my God, so much drama, you know? And then we see Skynox going, I can get any guy to spell his secret. It's a lot of drama. Kyle's right. It's a very dramatic movement. So then Anthony is like, by the way, Lawrence never did this to you. You cannot trust us to they lie.

And honestly, I have my cat, bro. I'm a dad. I have my cat. I'm a cat dad. And it turns out he has a cat They lie. And honestly, I have my cat bro. I'm a dad. I have my cat. I'm a cat dad. And it turns out he has a cat named Mr. Toons. Was so cute. There's a picture of like this cat being like, Oh my God, get me out of here.

Austin, by the way, Austin Kroll just got two kittens. And I'm so mad about it because I'm like, you don't do, don't do that. Don't do the kitten thing, Austin. Don't make me have to say nice things. Like I already had a tough time last season saying nice things about Austin, and now like he's gonna have kittens

and I love kittens and cats, so I'm like really upset about this. That's why they do it. When a reality star gets a pet, you know that they're doing it to get some likes. Yeah. Unless you're, she's like, I have a cat, but I'm keeping her off camera.

Damn, please. She's building a whole industry based off her cat, but I'm keeping her off camera. Please. She's building a whole industry up based off her cat. She's building pajamas based off of her cat. Craig was building an industry off her cat. No, she came out with Daphne pajamas. Oh, she did? Yeah, that's where her pajamas line is named.

Daphne. I know that she came up with pajamas. I didn't realize they were called Daphne. Oh geez. Yeah, they're called Daphne pajamas Oh jeez. Yeah, you're right. It's time for a commercial. It's time for- We acting bad, bad, bad, bad. We ain't trying to hurt nobody. For decades, he was untouchable.

I'm going from Harlem to Hollywood. But now, it's all coming undone. Sean Combs, the mogul as we know it, is he will never be that person again even if he's found not guilty of these charges. I'm Jesse Weber host of law and crimes, the rise and fall of Diddy the federal trial a front row seat to the biggest trial in entertainment history, sex trafficking racketeering prostitution allegations by federal prosecutors that span decades and witnesses were

finally speaking out. The spotlight is harsher the stakes are higher and for did he there may be no second chances. You can listen to the rise and fall of did the federal trial exclusively with one 3 plus join one 3 plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcasts right now. For a Crappence commercial. So Anthony is like, oh my God sometimes deserve betters

in human beings sometime, you know, some people are so terrible to get you fired from boats. I was like, he did, he did, but he also got you rehired, so that's something. He's not a completely terrible person. Yeah, that's true, see? Look at me, sticking out the freezer, you see? So Kyle and Solane are smoking on the deck, and Kyle's like, what's this, just a thing?

Or is there a storybook there? Look at that smirk, your ex-boyfriend, what are you talking about over there? And she's like, I'm more than two years that I have one boyfriend. So I don't know, but I have memory. You know, I'm not sleeping with you because I have memory of boyfriend. Everybody listen to my story about my bracelet that will disgust everyone who watches the show. Prepare to be disgust everyone who watches the show. Prepare, prepare to be disgust. This was, this was triggering. Cause she's like,

this priest is from my ex-boyfriend Dylan. She's like, okay, Dylan, whoever, who cares. Flashback to Dylan. I was like, oh no, no, no, no. No, no, no. It was the worst. The clip they showed of him was him washing off cold cuts. Ew.

It's like, yeah, you gotta watch the cold cuts off in the sink, cause I used to be fat one time. So I'm not gonna have sulfide. Thank God I'm not fat anymore. You fat people, disgusting. Why am I afraid that they're setting up the fact that Dylan will be coming back? Like that is too weird.

Like that's, oh man. Like guys, look at this. I, I'm really actually quite good. I'm like a ladies man. I work out a lot. Look at my cold cuts. I'm like, Oh God, he was just terrible. And then he showed up on Vanderpump rules for no reason. Oh yeah. He's gross. So she, but I still love him and I was so sad. So now that's why I like to try to keep everything like that. No risk since Dylan, I never been in love again. Oh God, Dylan ruined you. He washed cold cuts, Elaine, come on.

That is kind of a love Island choice though. A guy like Dylan, right? Like, hey, I really want to get to know you. So like, what's your calorie count per day like? He was so bad in so many different ways. I don't remember too many specifics about him, except the fact that he drove me nuts every time. I remember he used to be fat, and so now he's obsessed with weight and calories,

and that's all he talks about and working out. That's correct, that's correct. But he has like little blown up lips, and like, he looks crazy, I don't know. Yeah. Bad don't know. Yeah. Bad, bad move. Bad, bad.

So, so now Fraser is like, all right, let's put the lube out please. But like, don't put, but don't like put it in a high profile place. I don't want to promote sex because then we have to change the sheets. So they're basically going to like hide the loop that will be there, but it'll be like tucked away.

And she's like, Barbara's like, well, let's just say that we are Catholic. So then Anthony is- Catholic, that's so cute. Let's say we're Catholic. So Anthony's like, oh, nice menu, nice menu. You want to take care of semen tartare? So Anthony's like, you know,

it's not for everyone to get second chance. And you know, you remember what happened last season. So I can not make any mistake. Fire twice? Oh, I might as well not go back to France and live in a cave for the rest of my life. It would be so embarrassed. And so now they're like talking about the menu

and everything. Meanwhile, there's rain coming in, there's wind is picking up, it's getting kind of stormy. And Fraser's checking with Barbara about like the uniforms downstairs and Carrie's doing a walk through. They're all prepping for the for everything to happen. The charter, the charter charter, I should say. So we go back to the kitchen and Anthony's like, oh, fast food is like making lava.

It's something like this is very war. Take now, especially with so much cream. I don't want to hear that, you know, like love sex, love food. Don't want to eat your cream, you know, keep it, keep

it to yourself. Lawrence is like, I mean, I've never looked at a plate of French food and thought, yeah, that's like sex and making love. But I have looked at a plate of food and thought, I have sinned and I'm going to hell. I guess we all just read things into the food we make. I can't get married before I eat every plate of food.

There's too many things. So I have looked at this food and thought, is this food going to survive the rapture? It's coming soon, you know, it might be happening during this, this charter. Oh my God. My dad was on me about the rapture yesterday. She's a father, whenever that was. So two days ago, yeah, he was on me about the rapture because he's been, instead of going to church, he goes to like one of those mega church things where they have a cool band, but they got so big that they started building multiple churches.

I mean, they're humongous. These churches are like concert stadiums, like complete with like the rocking leather movie chairs and shit, and so it got so busy that they started broadcasting church from one church into the other church. So you would go to the church and you're watching on this giant movie screen, right? So he was like, well, fuck that, I'll just watch. I'm sure he didn't say fuck that, you know, because he's holy.

But he was like, I'll just start watching this at home. So my parents started inviting friends to their house now for church day and just getting shitfaced while they watch work, like they sit in half cocktails while they're watching church. And now they have this big thing going on at church about revelations and it's about the book of revelations. And so my dad's like, you know, everything going on in the world right now, it's all revelations.

You want to talk about it? I'm like, not really. I sure don't. Are you drunk? And he's like, yeah, I just got done with church. I was like, oh my God, you fucking people. He's like, of course I've don't. Are you drunk?" He's like, Yeah, I just got done with church. I was like, Oh my God, you fucking people. He's like, of course I've been drinking. We've been at church at home.

What do you think we're doing? We're talking about revelations, getting shit faced, buddy. Are you in or are you out? Meanwhile, like my conversation with my parents is like, how do I connect the Bluetooth to our old 2010 car that we refused to update? Oh, I get that one too. Another software update, huh?

Gosh, like basically revelations. I mean, for a person. Talk about a revelation, Bluetooth, am I right? All right, so Kerry is like, Fraser, Fraser, Carrie here. Go ahead, Cap. I'm without a uniform, mate. I'm not amused. Guess what?

This isn't an adventure. Oh, uniform drama for the Captain. It's a new storyline premiered, launched by Below Deck Med and now I guess it's part of the canon, which is the captain doesn't have a uniform. So, praise. Anybody seen my black culottes? No?

Okay, I'll just be sitting here waiting. I'm not going out on that deck unless I look like I could be dancing, partying, and shopping at Target all at the same time. So, someone fix this. Brie, Brie, the spirit of Brie haunts this boat. So, um, I don't think the cool at ease. Oh, I would clean the pins for the boat.

Little pins for the pants. So, um, so Fraser lives like on top of it. He's like, he goes and he's like, I need this. You can fuck up anything, but not that. Okay. If even a plug is two degrees off center, it's on me. So I guess I just need to continue not relying on anyone and telling everyone everything. And of course, the episode with the gay porn stars, the episode where I talk about plugs, my bad. Although there's an episode to miss your pants. It's this one. Yeah. He takes his pants and

he's like, sorry, I apologize. You know, we're ironing out the season. No pun. And I promise that's what we'll do. You know, listen, I'm not happy about it. I'm super pissed. If I had eyebrows, they would be raised right now. So I'm sensing there's going to be a lot of action on board this trip. And I'm hoping I hope requesting lube in every room is a bit of a joke. I'm quite happy that I'm not in housekeeping. I just hope they don't use it all. Like guess what? They're going to use it all. The guests come and they're like, yeah, it's a boat built of dick. Yeah. I'm gonna fuck

that boat. I'm sticking that boat up my ass. Oh my God. Not me first. Threesome. Threesome with the bow. I love it. They're all so funny because they're all like very sweet too. And they're so like leading them through, leading all the porn stars to the boat. They're like, yes. And they get to that, um, the primary bedroom where it has that skylight that opens up and Fraser's like, now look at this. And it opens up, they all go, yes! Like an anus, I wanna fuck the skylight. Yes, queen. Yeah, this is where we're gonna have our,

this is where we're gonna have our orgy. Kidding, not kidding, kidding, not kidding. So now we get some bridge drama. Dun, dun, dun, Are we all gonna die? It's a tricky bridge. And one of the guys is like, oh my God, you guys look at this bridge. We're going under the bridge.

Is that sexual? No, it's not sexual. Do I need to brush my teeth? No. Do I need to wash my ass? What does that mean? It's a literal bridge, you fucking morons. I love the porn star's fascination with the bridge.

That one guy was like, you guys, look, look at this bridge. And the other one goes, this wind is fierce. They're just like AI. They're like, hey, AI, could you give us some gay dialogue to describe the bridge and some wind? This is the tightest opening I've had for a long time. Go, bridge. Yes. So Carrie's like, the wind is kicking up and we have rain and I can crash into this bridge a long time. Go, Brad. Yes. So Carrie's like the wind is kicking up and we have rain

and I can crash into this bridge at any time. Imagine going over railroad crossing and it's icy. I mean, we all might die right now. We've seen boats sink before and this one's about to go down. We're all gonna say a final farewells because we're all gonna die. Oh, no, made it through, made it through.

Just boat going through a passage. We did it, we fucked the bridge. So they go to the table and one of the guys like, oh my God, we've got a cock ring napkin holder. That's amazing. Someone else is like, yeah, we should give lessons because people don't know that cock rings actually go over the balls.

And then he's like, I mean, of course it goes over the balls. I mean, people put it over just a cock. I mean, what is this? An unfierce bridge? Disgusting. So now the water toys are being put out and Kyle's starving and Domo's so hungry, he's about to pass out.

And Jess is like, someone needs to go on break. Like what the hell? So people are getting frustrated because, you know, KO's not really doing breaks for anybody. Like, uh, guys, we need to have breaks here. Okay. And don't forget, Jess used to be a boss, and she's taken, she's taken, like, a demotion,

basically, to be on this show. So she sort of knows. She's like, um, uh, you're supposed to have a schedule. So now it's time for the first meal. So they've got coo-de-boof, grilled asparagus, You're supposed to have a schedule. So now it's time for the first meal. So they've got to cook, to booth, grill, to sparrow guests, courgettes, tomatoes, shrimp, quinoa, salmon, salad, tomato, burrata salad.

And here is a little box that you can put your dreams of bottoming tonight because probably won't be happening after this meal. This was actually very healthy, this whole meal. I thought, I was like, wow, that's how you maintain bodies like that, I guess. You eat some quinoa and some asparagus. Well, they had also like a giant pile of egg whites

for breakfast the next day. I was like, man, there's times like that where I'm like, I'm always like, I wanna have a great body. I wanna have abs, I wanna have pecs. Then I see like that pile of egg whites and I'm like, I don't know if I can make the sacrifices that are in to this. Sometimes like a muffin top's okay, you know? I think I want to have a nice breakfast.

Especially if I can eat a muffin top. Okay, I'll keep my jiggly. So, you know, but it is nice to see people with bodies like that actually working for it. Because a lot of times I feel like on these shows we see really hot people and then they order like cake upon cake upon cake and they're fine. So I like that these guys are like, guess what we eat, nothing in general.

We're really going overboard with this steamed salmon. It's crazy. They're professionals. So then Deimo is asking Jess if she would ever make a porno and she's like, oh, absolutely. And he's like, have you? She's like, absolutely. He's like, so there's a sex tape out there And she was like, oh, absolutely. And he's like, have you? She's like, absolutely. He's like, so there's a sex tape out there?

She's like, hmm, somewhere. He's like, wow. And then Barbara's asking Sky about how long he's been together with Tony. And Sky's like, oh yeah, he's my porn boyfriend, but he has a wife. He's like, I'm married. Yeah, he's married to a woman.

Yeah, so this is my man. So they basically have this like, true work husband relationship going on. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, it's called the modern day relationship. Get over it, okay? And Barbara's like, oh my God, I have no words.

No words. I'm Catholic. So she's like, so he's just your boyfriend when you're in a scene. So when you're like filming, he's like insane boyfriend insane. Did you say she said she has an accent? It's like, no, I'm just asking because I'm wondering, did you ever do a porno where you had to make a bed? And if so, do you think you could fill in downstairs for Solanne?

I'm pretty sure she's taking her foot in the sink at the moment. So now the crew is, some of the crew is having lunch and Carrie's like, wow, seems like a good group of people. Aye. He's like, really lovely. You can, you just really can't judge a book by its whole cover. Can you? So then, then there, Lawrence and Anthony are in the kitchen and there's a box of linguine

pasta and Anthony Lawrence is like upset by it. He's like, who ordered this? And he's like, I don't know. I don't know what to do with it. So they're going to, Lawrence announces that he's there's going to, I'm sorry, Anthony announces that there's going to be like a penis mac and cheese that will be made with the linguine. So yeah.

So Jess and Kayo are still talking out. So she's like, so babe, we need to send people on breaks for lunch. Like you can't just not starve people. He's like, oh, okay. Well, go have lunch then. Okay. Like, I mean, do it. But it's like five and nobody's eating.

He's like, oh, no, we all had lunch. You didn't have lunch? She's like, no it's like five and nobody's eating. He's like, oh no, we all had lunch. You didn't have lunch? She's like, no, did not have lunch. So. Yeah, you gotta give us bricks, bro. So Barbara's down in the laundry, getting it organized and everything. And K.O. is like talking to Deimos saying,

it's just more like stuff. He's like, okay, now you go to lunch. Okay, when she comes back, you go to lunch, but actually only walk halfway to lunch and then come back and then I'll send someone to lunch. And then you walk the rest of the halfway back and then you have now you go to lunch. Okay, when she comes back, you go to lunch, but actually only walk halfway to lunch and then come back and I'll send someone to lunch. And then you walk the rest of the halfway back and then you have only half of your lunch. Then you come back and then I'll have half of my lunch.

And then you go and have a quarter of your lunch. And then we go all sit down together and by that time it'll be dinner. And it'll all make sense, right? And they're like, um. Yeah, and so Jess is like, wow. So, you know, growing up, I was really shy. So my mom threw me into waitressing. So I'd get out of my shell. And that's, she also just probably

wanted you to get shit for her, which I'm smothering right there. So do something with your life and get me a water. If my mom would have sent me to bartending class at five, she would have. So Rainbow is like, oh, I was so out there. And so my two older sisters kind of like beat me to a pulp and then beat it out of me. Fighting was just part of the culture. It's just part of that Dutch culture, Dutch fighting,

you know? Dutch Fight Club, every child goes through it. And there was a point when I was like 13 and my sister was 14 and we just weren't getting along at all, so my dad took us on a boat to an island in the middle of a lake in Holland. He just dropped us off and was like, "'Okay, you've got 10 minutes to fight it out.'"

So that's it. How crazy was that story? I was like, what the fuck? And Jess just goes, no shit. She goes, yeah, he's like, this shit's gonna stop. So there we were on an island just beating the fuck out of each other. You know, I lost a couple of teeth,

but that bitch lost a nose. And that's just how I deal with it, fighting. Like, wow, you're gonna work out great here. But then later in the episode, we see her just like, oh, I can't do this. This is why you can't have your parents read the Hunger Games while they're still rearing

children. They're like, hey, that's a great idea. We play the Hunger Games literally every day. It's how we look like this. So Rainbow's like, yeah, we just fought a lot, you know, and because we grew up not talking about our feelings, they just get bottled up and you know, you explode. And that's why I'm going to beat the shit out of Celine with an iron. Yeah.

So then Lawrence is cleaning the galley and Anthony loves this because he's like, Oh my God, this is so wonderful. I can actually cook and someone cleans up my mess for me. So they're having like, they have like a funny kind of vibe together. It's kind of sad that they have to break up because I do sort of enjoy them. And now it's time to get ready for dinner and rainbow setting the table. And so lane just falls down the stairs. It's not like she just stumbles.

She just like, we just see a static camera of like the hallway and her body just comes flying out there well, and just like slams onto the floor. She's like, Oh, I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm like, wow. She's nothing affects this woman. Yeah, she really just bounces back literally. So then Fraser sees Kerry and Kerry's just in this towel. He's like, Fraser, what's wrong with this picture?

I've got a boner at work. Not really sure. I don't have any clothes. Understood, am I supposed to be listening to you? Would you prefer me on my knees at this point? Fraser. I need my goddamn uniform. I thought this was the gay porn charter though. You can't do a gay porn scene and then not follow through Captain Kerry. I'm terribly sorry. We've got too many professionals on board to ignore this moment.

It's the third time today. How many times do you get your clothes washed in the day? I didn't know captains had like three different uniforms a day, that's nuts. I know. Well, I guess because he has the whites. It's just regular. Well, he has the whites and then during the day, he's got like that blue polo shirt or something.

Don't they have like a blue polo shirt? And then at night the blacks, so. Well, there you go. Never noticed. Look at that. 20,000 seasons later of recapping, I'm just noticing. Ha ha.

Come on. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So, Frasers like, girls, I'm gonna say this one last time, so you can completely keep messing it up and I can keep not checking that you're doing it correctly. The captain just came to me naked in his towel.

Do I still have a boner? I do. He hasn't got his uniform. My boner is still happening. Please get a uniform on the captain so my boner can go down. That would be lovely. Thank you. So, um, Rambo's like, if our team is fucking up and fucking up and fucking up, Rainbow's like,

if our team is fucking up and fucking up and fucking up, that's not on me. I'm doing my job properly. It's just such a shit show. It's just, I'm like, that's maybe not the best attitude. It's like, I have to help out to make sure that like the people who don't know what they're doing can be better.

But she's like, whatever, I'm doing my job. Okay, I was the one who survived the island in Holland. They didn't, okay? I'm not putting up with that shit I was the one who survived the island in Holland. They didn't, okay? I'm not putting it up there. There's no rainbow in team. So then Fraser asked Barbara and she's like, oh Fraser, I can't think of everything. Okay, like I know, like I'm not pissed because I'm pissed

because I'm not responsible for it. Like I can't do everything. Everyone has this attitude. Literally everyone on this, on the interior has an attitude of like, well, I did my stuff I'm not responsible for something else. So I Don't know I think she said that was her responsibility, but she's still pissed. It's like I'm responsible for it, but I'm still mad

So it's like okay where we live we learn, you know, no, I'm being pulled in so many directions doing things all the time You know, I'm never finishing anything. many directions, doing things all the time, you know? I'm never finishing anything. It all fall on me. Oh my God, I feel like a bad crew member. This sucks. Rainbow, go hit, go hit, uh, Suer Lane.

I'm putting you both on the bow and just pretend it's an island and now fight. Great. So Fraser brings the stuff to, to Carrie and he's like, well, I've spoken with them again. It's the third time. And he's like, well, it's the third time it happened today. And he's, she's like, I know, I know. So for fuck's sake, oh, it's not an adventure.

Didn't this happen with Captain Lee also? Yeah. This is actually not the first time this has happened with. Yeah. So Captain Carrie looks so mad, though. And his eyes get like really satanic when he's mad. Yeah, scary. They get really scary.

I don't want to make him mad. I kind of do, though. Because he's hot. Also mad in a towel. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Oh, something about a gay porn star, a charter, really gets the juices flowing on this episode. I guess. It's hot though, Captain Carrie. Little, little bald man with angry eyes and a towel. Zaddy.

So, Fraser, now they are gonna do their Parisian cabaret theme. And Fraser's talking about what that is. He's like, it's flamboyant, it's big, it's feathers, it's extravagant, it's fun, it's flirtatious, it's a bit wily. It's absolutely disgusting. So now everyone takes a seat. They are disgusting.

I went to one in Montreal. I was like, whoa, whoa, okay then, okay. Anybody take a tap class? Could we start there? To get your penis out of my face? I'm from America. I'm not used to people slapping me in the face with their penis.

Well, but I'll never forget my time I'm from America. I'm not used to people slapping me in the face with their penis well I'll never forget my time at swinging Richards in Atlanta where I was true I took the stripper and he literally whacked me on the face with his dick But at least it wasn't cabaret themed okay, it was not Parisian cabaret feathers Yeah, those there were at Swinging Dicks were just in like dirty trailer t-shirts and like those poor guys, they needed the money. They did, they did.

That could have taken place under a freeway and it would have been the same thing. That was a fun night. That was so fun. RIP, Swinging Dicks, Swinging Richards. So now it's dinner time and the guests are seating and Fraser is like, welcome to Portus, to Paris aboard motor yacht St. David. We're so excited to have this wonderful evening for you. Yeah. Can you see I was being sarcastic. So then, Kyle is in a cabaret outfit.

And so, and they're all excited by it. And then he is, Kyle's like, he brings Sky a flower. And Sky's like, oh my God, who designed your outfit? He was like, do you see some, this right here, check this out. And he like lifts up,

he lifts up a skirt and he like shows, he's like in the thong and everything. So they love it. Cause Kyle loves flirting with the gays. So this is like his perfect charter. Yeah, Kyle loves some nakedity. I wonder if he's gonna just get naked. And someone has sex with one of the guests this season.

Do you think it's this charter? They say it's Kyle. Wow. Do you think it's one of the guys? Oh, that'd be amazing. I hope it, I hope it is. That's really hot. I mean, five days.

And these guys are horny as hell. They are horny. And they don't... These are definitely like a hole-is-a-hole kind of situation with DeMo and Kyle. So, you know, they're down for it. So, Barbara, let's see. So, Fraser serves weigu, ribeye, with mashed potatoes, green beans, and carrots. And he says that carrots have an erection, but they're just carrots.

I'm not really sure. Yeah, carrots are normally pretty erect. And then Kerry's like, so how is everything tonight? And Sky is like, it supersedes lunch, which was exceptional. We especially liked the window cleaner, which of course is Kyle. It's like, well, we've got two amazing chefs right down there, which is not standard. So just know that going forward, your food will be

shitty. There you go. One of them. So Fraser talks to Barbara and she's like, oh my God, Celine was so nice today. And he's like, Oh, I'm going to go tell her. Celine, Barbara said you're amazing. She's like, Oh, I know I see in your eyes that you are proud of me. It is so cute. Get ready for that face to change soon. But right now it's fun to watch. So now dessert, it's a red wine poached pear. And now it's like talent show stuff.

So Tony starts twerking. Marcel shoves his hand in his mouth. Which is maybe like how like a great, great skill set to have as was mentioned on the show. That was harsh. And is he the one that is married? No, Tony is the one who's married. Tony is the married one.

Marcel, Marcel I don't think is married to a woman. Oh, right. Tony twerks, right? Marcel shoves his hand in his mouth. Yeah. Okay. Tony is like in kind of like a,net, like, bustier. I don't know. He's like in fishnet lingerie and he's twerking. He's, you know, doing the whole thing. Watching someone put their fist in their mouth is something. So, Daymo is talking to Jess about KO and she's like, oh yeah, you know, like, look, there's a bit of a standard that we're not really setting here, you know?

I mean, I can't be going to him saying I need to eat food, but I'll speak to him, and if it doesn't change, then I'm gonna have to speak to Captain Carrie in Italian, hopefully. I know. And then, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I know and then Pictures of Jess and then the words Jess. I worked on private vessel You know, we never had to break for almost 200 days and it was rough and I was so tired and at the end of the season I hurt myself

I fell down the stairs on my back and it really took me out and I couldn't work but I got to take so That's why I have to take breaks like okay Not as good as rainbows. I had to fight with my sister to the death on an island in a lake in Holland story But you know, it's okay So rainbows like okay, so Salane with things like this instead of leaving it out just put it away because that saves you an entire step. Okay Oh, no, I hear you. I promise but I'm trying to do it fast, you know So if I was faster, then I try I was do it, you

know, like if I could be faster, I would go faster about for here I am going fast and you say faster. What am I supposed to do? Just clean the silverware. Just clean the silverware. Make it look nice. It's too hot. Make it look nice.

Okay. Does that sound good? So remember how you cleaned your foot in the sink before while you ate a croissant? Okay. Do that foot with the silverware. Can you do that? Oh, the croissant was delicious. Yeah, did we talk about that when she was eating a croissant in the sink with her feet in the sink?

I don't know if that's about to come or if it did come, but like, in case we missed it, that was amazing. Watching her feet in the kitchen sink, nasty, eating a croissant. That's so good. I love croissant. So Rainbow's like, listen, this is a lot of work, no? And she's like, so Laney's on me and I'm on Laney's. Even though, like, not, oh no, that's Rainbow.

She's like, yeah, look, even though eating everything on her list is done, I have to send her to bed now. And she's not even done doing shit. And now she's gotta be up in the morning. So that's my fault. So I'm just so exhausted and it's dark and it's a long five day charter tunnel

and there's no light at the end of it. And then we get the most beautiful scene, which is Rainbow at two in the morning, vacuuming the living room and like cry hyperventilator. She's like. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Just while she's pushing the vacuum is so funny. She's just standing in the same place pushing the vacuum. Like, ah, ah, ah, ah.

That is the second breakdown we've had in three episodes. I mean, just the casting on this season. It's great. So good. And I mean, really, you know, it is Pride Month. So we have this specially timed super gay charter, you know, I'm assuming for gay pride. But honestly, I think the real gift for gay pride was this moment because this was this was gay camp right here for vacuuming and sobbing at the same time.

I was like, this is the sort of thing that, like, you know, goes in the gay canon. So then Deimo is there because he's also on nights and he's like, do you need any more help? And she's like, no, just finished. I'm just telling everyone I went to bed at two fifteen so I can wake up and help with turnips. That's me, rainbow, Fight Club Rainbow, working Garasa before sister tries

to knock her nose off again. He's like, we have turnips on board? I don't really eat those. She's like, no, it's a bad thing. Okay, I'm gonna go sleep. So she's like, yeah, I'm just the type of person where I just like to brush things under the rug and I hope they go away. And I'm not gonna sit there and be like, oh, by the just the type of person where I just like to brush things under the rug and I hope they go away.

And I'm not gonna sit there and be like, oh, by the way, I just had a panic attack because that's not how you survive on Fight Island. So I definitely need to find better coping mechanisms for my feelings. But for now they just get pushed deep, deep down and I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure everything will be fine.

Meanwhile, close up of the vacuum, it's all mangled and bent and twisted. So they go to bed close up of the vacuum, it's all mangled and bent and twisted. Oh no. So they go to bed at three in the morning, which is fucking crazy. So like, Selane is so funny, but oh my God, I would hate working with her. I would die if I had to work with her, but she's hilarious to watch.

Nightmare. So it's 6.30 a.m. and everyone's waking up, which is really early for, I would imagine for a bunch of porn stars, and Tony has an announcement, which is, guys, I never had someone do this, but he literally peed in my hole last night. I'm like, that's a lot of sports. You know, some things, I'm sorry, just,

first of all, keep it inside, and then where was he peeing in your hole? In the bed? Was it in the bed? Was it in the shower? Where do you do something like that? Why do you do something like that? You've had too much sex if you need to pee

in somebody's hole too much, okay? I know we're not supposed to kink shame, but enough. Like, come on. So then they're cooking in the kitchen and the galley. And Anthony is like, I'm going to kiss Lawrence because he's like real chef and he's real OG. He did his part. I did my part.

I was very calm, very smooth in galley and Lawrence is like, I'll definitely miss his smile. Like, how can you not miss that guy? Good luck, mate. I've got a rapture scheduled in about five minutes. So I'll see you sometime perhaps USS Rapture coming to get me any moment now one horseman was the French toast We'll see where it goes from here. I know you love a smile and I think that's so sweet, but in one week

It's going to turn two tears And I can't wait. I'm so excited for the real return of Anthony. I cannot take it. Now it's time to lift the anchor, lift the anchor. And Barbara and Cade are talking about, so Barbara's like, so what about your family? Do they support you in your job? And he's like, yeah, you know, like at first my mom was like super scared, but now she's like one of my number one fans.

Barbara's like, Oh, when I told my mom that I was gay, you know what, that, that I'm gay. She wasn't mad or anything. She was worried. Um, which, she's like, let me talk about my situation instead. Yeah. My mom felt the same way when I first sat on the traffic cone, but Yeah, he's like, yeah, my mom felt the same way when I first sat on the traffic cone, but Now she just goes around town and just leaves stickers up Kade Maddox only fans and like really he's done a great job of summoning the Kade army You know on the back of her suburban it says my my son swallows and I've never just been more grateful for a mother

So Barbara talks about her coming out and around 15. She had a girlfriend. She loved being who she is. And a lot of it is because of her mom. And she says, you know, I think you just have to be who you are. And she was the first one to support me. And she'll be she'll be the one like, you know, like that for the rest of my life. She'll be my number one, which is which is cute.

And then I like Sky goes, well, I didn't come out. I didn't have to come out because I'm just so gay. It's like it was so obvious. I came out when I was born. I came out. My first word was, ew, why did I come out of that? Yeah. I literally came out of the womb wearing Bette Midler's polka dot dress from Big

Business, so everyone pretty much knew. out of the womb wearing Bette Midler's polka dot dress from Big Business. So everyone pretty much knew. So Jess is speaking with Keo now. She's like, I was speaking to Deimo and I think we're a little frustrated with the breaks. Like I understand we're busy, but you know, you got to give him a 10 minute break every five minutes, you know, five minutes maybe like like you gotta do breaks. And he's like, oh, well, hold on. First of all, I have hair. Hair, hair, hair. First of all, I have hair. And you know, like some boats, they don't give a fuck.

So she goes, yeah, but we give a fuck. And he goes, okay, well, I'm completely open to suggestions. Okay, your suggestion is to give people breaks. Yeah, that's the suggestion. So then there's like this moment. So Kayo is saying talking to Kerry and he's saying like, Oh my goodness, there's some good snorkeling, whatever. And Kerry's like, Oh, there is maybe we could do a little snorkeling skit. And so they're going to set that up, which is the setup

to a future issue that the two of them have in about five seconds. In the meantime, the the guests are doing facials, but actual also doesn't just to make note for later, Kao says, this is so sick here. Here. Meaning like right in the spot that we're in, right? And it's good snorkeling. And he says, yes, so we could do snorkeling excursion. Right. Okay. Now, amusingly, you clarified that right, as I said, the guests are doing facials. And I think it's really important to just note that

these were actual like, you know, for the skin facials. Just because given who our charter members are, just don't wanna leave anyone hanging with the wrong impression. But who knows what these people. But they also were probably doing facials. There was actual sperm under those facials. So the anchor's dropped and Lawrence is like,

oh, I think the boat's in good hands. He's got the whole world in his hands, doesn't he? I'm out. Goodbye. I'll see you on the other side. If you're holy enough to make it there. Later, suckers. It's a bit too much sin. It's a bit too much sin happening here on this boat.

It is sort of funny that like the born-again is Is leaving amidst like the most like, you know I would have I would imagine the like that the opposite of what I imagine of biblical, right? So then he says bye no one really cares and then Fraser it lets rainbow go on the snorkeling trip because she's had a hard time. And here's where Celine is washing her foot while eating her croissant. So now Kerry is like, well,

would we like to do some snorkeling this morning before lunch? I know that is not a euphemism for anything, so you can get your nose out of his anus right now. All right, what I suggest is back in, we're gonna go into this point, whichus right now. All right, what I suggest is back and we're gonna go into this point, which is back here. All right. And there's some nice snorkeling. So we'll take the tender and we can swim around in that location right there that I'm specifically pointing out. And I know you all care very much about where I'm pointing right now.

Oh my God. Is that the chef leaving? Hey, I just wanted to tell you the same thing I told the womb. Bye pussy. That's not how I'm gonna say it. So then Carrie has now told them that they're gonna go snorkeling over there. Wherever there was, that's where they're gonna go snorkeling. But now who goes and talks the tail?

But have they moved a lot? Didn't the acre go down or did the anchor go up? I honestly, I don't know. Because honestly when Carrie mentioned that that's where they're gonna go up? I honestly, I don't know, because honestly, when Kerry mentioned that that's where they're gonna go snorkeling, I wasn't paying attention because I just thought it was just a standard like, here's what your activity is gonna be.

You didn't realize we're setting up a drama. So Kerry goes up to KO and he's like, well, they locked your idea of snorkeling once I pointed out exactly on the map where you said it was gonna be. So after lunch, we'll take the boat and an interior staff. And he's like, whoa, no, no, no, wait, actually, it's here at the snorkeling spot. And he's like, wait, you said it was back there.

He's no, it's in the bay. Like maybe I'm miscommunication. I don't know. Like, hold on. Did you know that I have hair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just explained, Hey, sorry.

You just got me with the hair there a little bit. I just explained to the guests that the snorkeling is back there. Now I look like a clown down to it's like, Oh look, there he is again. Captain Gary. Don't know where the snorkeling spaces. Oh, it's my biggest nightmare. First. They don't have a uniform. Then I'm saying it's that patch of water instead of that patch of water where the little fishy are. Great. I'll never leave this one down. This is so weird for him to get so mad. He's like, well, let's get correct information before I make a big scene. And Kairi's just like, um, my bad, my bad. Like he doesn't

care. It's not that you think Sky Knox really gives a shit where this thing is. Just tell him, Sky, you're taking selfies underwater right there. He'll jump in, he doesn't care. Guys, who here is very excited to go snorkeling specifically off the right side of the boat? Starboard, is it? I don't know. But I will only go snorkeling where I was previously shown the fish are

and no other location around this boat. He's like, listen, you can take me snorkeling here, you can take me snorkeling there. you can take me snorkeling there, but here's what I'm gonna get a picture of in any place, my starfish, okay? Drop me wherever you want. Is it possible to piss in a starfish's hole? Cause it's already surrounded by water, am I right?

I can't. I can't. So, let's see. So Anthony is now talking to the chef while the guests head out for snorkeling. And, um, he's like, wow, look at, look at this. Like you never left. Wow. Big thing.

We want success here. Right. Anthony's like, absolutely, absolutely. I will not cry today. All right. Well, the biggest takeaway I'd like you to consider is we can't always reach that point, right? And some guests don't want that. Sometimes we just need to be mediocre and that's okay. Do you understand?

It is okay to be mediocre. I dare you. I'll throw you off the fucking boat, loser. Sometimes you just have to put a giant pile of egg whites on a dish and say that's breakfast. So now Anthony is like no, okay. It was great having Lawrence on board, but he helped me come down and just be focused But now I'm back in this galley alone And so, you know, I'm kind of nervous about that like me getting fat on st. David the terrible moment So I was thinking damn I'm a loser. I'm a bad chef. So pressure on for here. Honestly, I have everything to lose right now.

So he's like, it makes no sense for me to kill myself if they don't want that. And that's raw, low standards, just like you want on a Megajohn. Let's just focus on that. We're working on cafeteria foods. You can do this. Okay.

So Kyle sees that the banana is out in the middle of the ocean and he's like, oh, there's the banana. I guess I should get it. Hello? Hello? Banana, banana. And nobody answers. He's like, I guess I'll get a sea bop and go get it. So Kerry sees it and he's like, you gotta be fucking kidding me.

That banana doesn't have his uniform. Is that banana snorkeling in a place that wasn't supposed to be a snorkeling spot? So Kyle is fetching this banana and he's like, what happened? He's like, well, I don't know. I was just, I saw a yellow thing floating in the water and I thought, fuck it.

Looks like something I could have sex with. Let's get it. So he carries like a good catch mate. So then meanwhile, the snorkeling, the guys have snorkeled for like five seconds and they're like, okay, we're down, we're bored. Let's go back to the boat. Struggling stupid. So they're coming back earlier than expected and care.

Oh, you got to be kidding me. It's disorganized. Yeah. He's like, Oh, I try to support my guys, but I've got so much pressure on myself. I've got to be straight up with the guy and let him know how important his job is, how much I rely on him.

And that creates pressure. But there's a lot of schoolboy errors being made. He should already be aware of. Kayo needs to get his hair in the game. And that's it. I don't think Captain Carrie realizes how many scenes he's setting up in Gay Porns. Kayo needs to get his hair in the game. And that's it. I don't think Captain Carrie realizes how many scenes he's setting up in gay porn. It's like almost like the gay porn stars come on the boat and he's like, well, there's a lot of school boy errors happening around here.

I'm going to have to have a one-on-one talk with this person. I'm like, there's another scene. Look at his spunking titties back in town and he's not got a uniform on. You realize I'm naked under this towel because I can't find my uniform and I'm very angry about it. So how are we going to fix this situation? What I'm about to tell you is going to be very, very hard.

Are you open enough to take it? All I know is there's a long hard banana just floating around out there and I want you to get it. Need to practice on something? So he calls K.O.M. and he's like, all right, we've got a few things happening. We've got a banana floating away. You know that shouldn't happen. Right?

I want you to think of it like this way. Banana inside you. All right. Banana inside you. You got it. All right. We've got to have communication on point. All right. Now we've talked about the first day departure. You should have a checklist. All right. Get a board, shoes aboard, luggage aboard, dick hard, ass wide, loosened up. Why am I talking like this? I can't stop myself. All right, this is how I want you to think about the luggage. Just imagine if you don't get the luggage,

you have to go back to that dock, maybe with another one of your fellow sailors, and you'll have to sit there alone, waiting for the boat to come back and retrieve you. And then you're just both there alone. And then what do you do when you're both alone and bored? Right? That's what I want you to think about.

That's what I believe about. Now because you forgot that luggage, the entire crew and cast and people on the boat have to be naked. Now what are we gonna do? You bad little boy. So I need to know. So if I can have it in you to finish this job or not.

And Kale's like, oh, I'm pretty sure I can do it. You know, I like, we don't do this normally in Rio, but if you want to do it now, you know, I can do it. I'm not going to lie. I've never had so many people under me. Oh, that's what I like to hear. You're going to take more and more people under you. So, you know, the best way to start is at the bottom.

You need to put some pressure on your team to not make these schoolboy errors. You know what? I'm so concerned about your schoolboy errors. It seems like something happened back in those days. So why don't you put on a schoolboy uniform and get back up here and we'll diagnose what went wrong. And then KO ends it in the least porny way. He's just like, whoa, this is a porn episode. I know. Or at least some big things.

There we go. Give you something to focus on. Yeah, true. Boy, it was. Ah, adventure. Ah. Ah. Yas, Clayne.

So fun times. Fun times on the boat with the porn stars. And, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say queen. So fun times, fun times on the boat with the porn stars and my prediction, KO will be fired very soon. Oh yeah, he's out of here. KO and his hair. Goodbye. KO will be KO'd. All right.

Well, everyone, thanks for listening. It's such a fun time. Be sure to come to our live show on Thursday in Hollywood at the Fonda Theater. Go to WatchWhatCrappens.com to get your tickets and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone! Bye! Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King.

Our way is the Amber Way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-lis. Hava Nagila Webber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no less name-y. She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock. She gets an A. It's Kelly B. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey

B. K. Sarah Sarah, whatever will be will Lauren Sills be. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell.

It's Raquel. Yes we canna, it's Sedana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. Who what why where and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen, it's Queen Laifah.

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hale the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. Knock knock knocking on Katie Mannock's door. My favorite Murdo.

Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podchadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani. The incredible, edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's

the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telliff-Sun. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Come on shake your body baby, do the Sydney Congdon. Let's take If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.