Watch What Crappens - #2897 RHOM S7E2: Grist for the Milan

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

In the midst of their feud, Larsa and Lisa head to Milan on The Real Housewives of Miami for fashion week.  Meanwhile at home Alexia circles the wagons and shares more about her relationship with Todd.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's audible.com slash wonder ECA. My name is TJ Raphael. I'm the host of Liberty Lost, a new podcast about who gets to be a mother and the control of young women hidden behind the veil of faith. Binge all episodes of Liberty Lost ad-free right now on Wondery+. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me, Ronnie Karam.

Hi Ronnie, how are you? Ronnie Karam Hi, how are you? Ben Mandelker I'm so excited. If you're listening to this in time, hopefully you can come join us tonight at the Fonda Theater in the heart of Hollywood, California on the Walk of Fame for our big final show of the Mountain Castaria Tour. We are recapping the valley. If you're wondering where is our valley recap, it's because we're recording it tonight at the Fonda. So come join us. Uh, tickets are at watch where crap happens.com. The links are there. Come solo,

come with friends and have a fun time. We're going to have a fun time. That's the plan anyway. On Patreon, we have recaps of love Island because we're watching it and having so much fun with that. Those are our bonus episodes. And we also do Crappens on Demand where you can watch us, not just listen to us. So that is all the exciting stuff. Patreon.com slash watch our crappens.

That's the news. And today we return with Miami goes to Milan to Milan, two M cities with, I think the same number of letters. So exciting times. What did you think, Manny? Miami and Milan, so good. The show's so good. Love it.

Love it. It's just shot so well. So beautiful to look at, my God. It's also nice to go to like a real fashion event. So many of these Housewives shows are like, we're putting on a fashion show at the foot locker in the Salt Lake City mall. And it's like, you know, 30 people and here we're at like a real deal fashion show in Milan with like hundreds of people clamoring to get in. It's just nice, nice to read the sticks a little bit. Yeah, I don't know anything

about fashion. So I don't know who this person is or if it's real or not, but I liked it. It was fun. I had heard of him before and I thought, oh, is this can be one of those fashion designers who's just like a fame whore who just always will bring out reality stars. But then it seemed like there were a lot of people

trying to get into the show. So I was like, that seems like a legit designer. I don't remember where I've heard of this person. It seems like his global ambassador is the one who got them in anyway, because the designer's like, who's your friend, the blondie? Who's the blondie?

Yeah, who is this person? Yeah, I wish I knew more about fashion to know whether or not this is a guy we should make fun of. Is he crap or is he good? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. He's got jogging pants and man purses. I don't know, it looks the same to me, every other douchey thing I see, so I don't know. He's got like jogging pants and man purses. I don't know. It looks the same to me as every other douchey thing I see.

So I don't know. But let's see what happens. Miyami takes Milan and Gertie, Lisa and Adriana are talking. And Adriana is full on whatever happened to baby Janing today. Not sure what she's thinking, but she's in like a little girl dress and then bows in her hair. And she's like, oh, look at me, talk about my man. He's inspiring me to look younger. Okay, younger or like dance moms? Like what are we doing here?

I know, why are we trying to look like Clueless in 1996? Is your boyfriend on a list? Because you look like a 12 year old cheerleader. This is a bit too much. If you need to do this for your man, there are some kinks you need to question. Yeah, and so we're like, they're chatting, but they're also getting flashbacks

of what happened in the last episode, which means we have Alexia being like, Oh God, Todd moved out to my house with Frankie there. And well, sometimes what's right for the whole isn't what's right for the soul tagline. Yeah. Well, we were traveling and I was asked to walk in the Milan fashion show. Bad news.

My dad had a heart attack. And then, so we see her telling Jody, yeah, you know what? My dad has a heart attack and like, he could die in a second, but you know what? I got to live my life and they get that. They get that. So Lisa, that says so Lisa, you know,? I gotta live my life and they get that. They get that. So Lisa. That's so Lisa. You know, he could die. It's so difficult not knowing if he's going to die. Here I am going to Milan. Oh my God, is he dead or is he not?

It's so hard to concentrate on putting on lipstick. I gotta live my life. But guess who I have to see in Milan? Larsa! I'm so mad. Adriana's like, yeah, I can lean you don't go into someone's house and that you tell you're a bitch and stupid. Just don't do that. I'm like, have you seen seasons one through until this moment? Adriana, that is your entire thing. That is your mo. I do that. But you don't do that. Okay. So Gertie's like, Oh God, I don't want her to make it about her in Italy because that's probably what she's going to do. And Lisa goes, she wouldn't do that. Right. And Gertie goes,

would she, would she? This is what they're all concerned about because they all know they all will make everything about themselves given the chance. So we'll get back to that, put a pin in that. So then, so then now we have Lars at home Preston Preston Preston XYZ like XYZ W ABC Hey Preston, where are you? He's like, oh my god, mom. I'm right here. So she has to call him on the cell phone She's like, yeah, like you don't like hear me like calling feel like like you can miss like your fight like bro

Like come on like they don't have like multiple flights like to Milan. Okay. It is like the only flight come on. God. So she tells us that she's known Phillip line for years. And originally, of course, they like asked me to walk on the show, but I was like nervous because like, but if I trip like walking's hard, like, so I suggested like Preston, like is like, he's the creative one in my family. And you know what creative people can do?

Walk. This like is so creative how he walks. He's always walked. Like when he first took his first step, I was like, Oh my God, you're like basically Michael Angelina. This is me. You're like an artist. He's a creative walker.

Preston, you don't have your passport? I mean, come on. I love when her like non-affected accent sneaks out and she starts talking like this. Then she goes back to like this. Preston's in college. He's figuring out who he is. I mean, if he wants to model, I will make sure he models because he's a creative model, walker, walker model. So I really want to support that. And they're like, do you know that Lisa's in the show? Yeah, that's fine. I'll be okay with that. But like, do you think Lisa's actually gonna be

on the flight? You guys wouldn't put Lisa on the flight, would you? You guys are just reality TV show producers. You would never do that to me, right? You just said there's only one flight that goes from Miami to Milan today. What do you think's gonna happen, Larissa? Put two and two together.

Hey, so they're stupid. Creative. What, you think I'm stupid? I'm like a creative son, stupid. You're stupid face. You're dumb. Everybody knows who you are, you stupid weak-out or stupid like face face.

So Lisa is calling Jodie while she's getting ready. She's like, oh my God, I can't believe it's happening. I'm walking in Milan Fashion Week, one of the biggest in the world. Oh God, I've watched fashion shows in Canada. I've done tons of covers. I've been Saskatchewan Vogue. I'm sorry. And I was also in Saskatoon Vogue. I've been in Alberta Elle. They just call that Alberta Elle. Quebec. I'm in the-

Our KitKats don't have corn syrup monthly. God, that's a great magazine. Canada really crags about that one. I'm in Newfoundland's edition of Women Wear Daily, which is just flannel every day, but that's fine. I was in it. I was on an electronic McDonald's menu once. I'm huge, huge in Canada.

It's how I got my visa. Okay. Oh yeah. So I just can't believe this is happening. This is huge. It's huge. That's what I'm going to be a, you know what? When I'm walking amongst 18 year olds, I'll be like, looks like I still got it. I'm like a fine wine. I guess a fine wine that Lenny wants to fuck someday. I guess that's what an 18 year old is like. Am I getting my metaphors right? I feel like I'm losing the thread. Let's go to reforming Pilates where Alexi and Gertie are working out.

And, wait, why did I say that? Let's not Alexi and Gertie, it's Alexi and Julia. So they do their workout. And of course Julia is doing the Shannon-Bidora. I'm so wacky, I don't know how to work out. Oh, I'm falling. is doing this, Shannon Bedora. I'm so wacky. I don't know how to work out. Oh, I'm falling. Oh, this is so difficult.

I have to stand on thing and move my hip. Oh my God, I fall. I'm not used to this. Wacky Julia. Wacky. And so Alexia is like, oh my God, for me, this is like, you know, like this is about like the mind, like, especially, you know, after that party, like I need my mind to be fresh.

Cause I feel like the way they were all talking to each other was just like disgusting. Like you don't talk to your friends like that ever. Like again, let's rewind the tape. Yeah, okay, Alexia. I'm glad we came here because I'm only good to God laddies. This was much, much less stinky. So Alexia is like, well, they need to have a conversation

because I don't want this to turn into like Lars and Gerdy last year. You know what I mean? By the way, how are you and Gerdy? Take five seconds because I'm going to talk about Doddlerda. And she's like, I don't care to see Gerdy because I had this cool message from her after she found out from, about the boys. I was holding both boys in my hands and I was dictating message. I said, you miss news.

So you find out what everybody else else that's it, you know? And she wrote congrats and that's all she wrote. How dare you. And then Martina had the health scare and I told Gertie and so she volunteered to come to a date with me to a dinner and Martina's place and then she made it all about herself and her PR and accused me of not looking after her properly for some dinner reservation. Um, excuse you ma'am.

Julia, you know, I like Julia in general, but first the thing you did to Gertie was shitty. This lady couldn't make it to your Zoom call. She used to tell her she has to find out with everybody else. That's a shitty friend, sorry. That's dickish. And then you ask her to sub in for Marina or Martina

and you have her sat at a different table from you and then ignore her all night. She was there as a favor to you. You're on the wrong here. I don't know exactly what you're trying to prove with all these Instagram screenshots either because it just makes you look more and more wrong. Yeah, Julia's now Julia made like a statement on her Instagram about Gertie. She's like, first of all, I was in emotional time. I did not know if I had boys yet,

if it would be boys or goats or neither. And it was a hard time for me. I was like, okay. It's already ridiculous that you're holding this Zoom moment against Gertie, but now that you're gonna pull the, well, we didn't know, it was so emotional. Oh my goodness.

If you didn't know, then how did you have a Zoom call announcing it? Yeah, yeah. What else did it say? I how did you have a zoom call announcing it? Yeah. Yeah. What else did I say? I was actually, I'm trying to flick it up. I was hoping. I was like, keep talking, running, keep talking. I'll find it. I can't find it anywhere. I saw a little bit about it on Reddit, but I was like, what? It was actually not interesting enough. So yeah, it wasn't interesting enough.

And it was actually a really bad font. That was on my page. It was two pages and it was in like the cursive font and I was like, no, I'm not, I won't read those. That's why I never know what's going on with Bromwin Newport because I'm not reading that. I don't go to Instagram to read five pages of your bullshit. Okay. Brevity. Bullet points.

Um, so Alexis is like, well, guess what? I wasn't listening to anything you're saying because I'm an emotional limbo. Oh, yes. Okay. Well, I guess we're done with my thing. So tell me about your thing. Okay, good. So I hope, you know, I hope that this doesn't move forward because like five years ago, I would be done the ball, but the ball is in his court and I tried to save our marriage. But I have to say God has a plan and I'm super anxious and that plan has to do with the ball and the ball is in the court. And that's also part of God's plan. God really wants to see a really good game today.

So he's like just waiting for it to start. Ball in court. She's like a million. She saw there's a ball in the court. I don't know what to do with it. What are you supposed to do with the ball in the court? Do I throw it to the judge? What's going to happen to me?

So she starts crying, which she does in every fucking scene. So then we go to Milan. Lars and Preston arrive and Lisa and Jodie arrive. And Jodie's like, if you're gonna be a model, you learn how to learn how to handle the cold, honey. Mom's not allowed jackets or what? Are mom not allowed to buy coats, Jodie? I don't understand Jodie's logic.

So I saw Lars on the plane and I didn't say hi and she didn't say hi and it was awkward because this is my moment. It's about me. How do you say me in Italian? So they have a van to pick up and the van has the driver has a sign that says Hoxdeen and Pippin and she's like, oh God, really? Oh my God.

Are you sure there's not another car like? I mean, I was on the same flight like, and now the same car like? I would have like taken a Camelike to get away from her like. Where are all those famous Italian camels like? And Preston hates this so much. He's like, oh God, I'm taking the front. And she's like, wait a minute,

but you're gonna leave me back here with him? Oh my God, don't leave me back here with them like. And so Lisa's like, oh God, I'm taking the front and she's like wait a minute, but you're gonna leave me back here with him Oh my god, don't leave me back here with them like and so Lisa's like, oh god. Hi Larsa I I didn't know we were driving together Preston you got up there. Oh god You you want Jodie to sit there? Like where Jodie gonna say you want me to sit next to him you want you want to you want to sit next to him? Lars is like, no, like I don't like, want to like sit with him. No, like, no, no, like, no. I like that they're by the way,

they're all too cheap to actually get their own separate Uber. Like, well, God forbid you just call an Uber. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to sit with Lisa, but I also don't want to turn down a free ride. Oh well. I promised Preston I wasn't going to, you know,

do all this because it's like his thing. I want him to enjoy his moment. So anyway, OK, Preston, do you have your moment? Great. OK, we can do our thing now. Hey, Preston, I just want you to remember this is your moment that you only got because I dropped out of my moment.

So enjoy your moment that was supposed to be my moment, OK, person that nobody really would have called had it not been for me first. Preston, have you ever walked before? Do you ever do like, I don't know, Quebec city fashion week? No, never did that. Oh, it's pretty cool. Northern territories fashion week.

No, that one. No. Oh, okay. Katie Lang, a fashion invitational. No. Okay. That's more inexperienced than I thought. What do you mean?

Like I haven't even seen you practice Preston. Like what are you talking about? And Lisa's like, Oh, what are you a show mom? You're like a show mom. And Larsa goes, yeah, like I know. Like when you said like everyone knows what you are, I was like, I know who I am Lisa. Like I have four superstar kids. Like I'm an entrepreneur. Like, no, I'm sorry. I'm an entrepreneur. Like, like that, like really kind of like hurt, like really bad. Like Both of the bars don't take anything just to make it into a fight. You were a show mom

Yeah, because like you really hurt me that time when you said that thing like Larissa saying she doesn't want to fight in front of preston and then launching right into it Well, you know what was hurtful was when you came to my boyfriend's party slash my wedding to be and you said jodie is cheap was when you came to my boyfriend's party slash my wedding to be, and you said Jodie is cheap. Well, like, and Jodie's like, yeah, it was my birthday. I hugged you, I was nice to you. Oh, shit. Yeah, it was really bad. Quiet over there, Jodie.

Take your AC and be quiet. It's fine, be friends with Marcus. You chose him. I would choose Lisa over everyone, because by the way, I always choose Lisa. Okay, then if my next boyfriend says, don't be friends with Lisa, then fine. But like for me has like a woman like I could never like be friends with like with someone who's like bashing my friends like he's like, well, but I can't like not be his friend.

I know it's also like not his friend. Oh yeah. They like move in with him then like, like he's not even your friend. Like he's getting back at me and like, he doesn't even like you, Judy. Your map doesn't even move. Like he he's not even your friend. Like he's getting back at me. Like he doesn't even like you, Jodie. Your map doesn't even move. Like he does things to hurt my family. Like look at Preston. He's like, he looks so sad. Preston, he's sad like, no, see?

He's like, he's like with despondent call. So like, if you don't like understand that, then you're like a psycho. Like you're so psycho. Like, you know what? You think it's your friend, like then fine then. But like you want to choose to believe someone you've known for like five minutes and like whatever. Believe you like friend like look at press and he's crying press me crying.

No, he's sobbing up there. You're mean. You're a psycho mean person. Stupid. I hate your stupid faces both of you. You know, every time the president says no, that's a creative person's way of saying yes. So he's really agreeing with me. person's way of saying yes. So he's really agreeing with me. Jody's like, well, if I shouldn't believe someone I've known for five minutes, then why should I trust you? Oh, okay. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good one. Jody. That was a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? She's fighting with me and her son is like right there. Okay. Like be a good example for your kid. I would never ever, ever do that. Please roll the flashbacks of me and Lenny fighting from the children. Are you talking about Lisa? She's so fucking crazy.

So Lisa tried to pull a charm. You're giving the kids pizza? What do you want him to be fatty four eyes? It's bad enough he's not a four eyes now. Like Lisa, we've seen the tape, okay? Yeah, and by the way, my dad is sick and he's in the hospital and is he gonna die? Is he not gonna die?

Like I'm on standby. And she goes, yeah, then go home. You shouldn't be here. And she's like, what? Yeah, leave. Because like if your dad is like sick and like hospital like dying, like what are's like, what? Yeah, leave. Because if your dad is sick in a hospital, dying, what are you doing here? I mean, Lawrence is a bad point.

Laura said, does not fall for the tactic. She's like, you're not gonna use that to manipulate the situation. She's like, okay, that's rude. Well, I mean, he has a week to live. Like Jodie said, you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have come. This is a place for creative people like my son.

Son, be creative. No He was being creative saying yes. Okay, go home It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappins commercial Today is the worst day of Abby's life the 17 yearold cradles her newborn son in her arms. They all saw how much I loved him. They didn't have to take him from me. Between 1945 and the early 1970s, families ship their pregnant teenage daughters to maternity homes and force them to secretly place their babies for adoption. In hidden corners across America, it's still happening.

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The spotlight is harsher the stakes are higher and for Did for Diddy, there may be no second chances. You can listen to the rise and fall of Diddy the federal trial exclusively with Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcasts right now. So now we go to Gertie and Russell and she's in there for a checkup at the plastic surgeon and she's still got she had checkup at the plastic surgeon. And, um, she's still got, she had blood breast implant removal after having cancer, like she's had so much going on, you know, and so now her boobs are kind of messed up and so she's trying to get them reconstructed properly. She's had like fat moved from parts of her body to her breasts and it's going

to take a while for her to get them. Done. And Russell's just like over the surgery. He doesn't want any more surgeries because he's watched her go through so much, but she's, you know, she wants to like feel confident and do it and oh my God, it's rough. I hate watching Gertie go through stuff.

And so I can't believe she puts all of this on camera because it's hard for her, you know? It's like she just takes off all of her clothes and they don't even blur out anything. Like they put a blur on the side of her boob. I'm not really sure what they're supposed to do. They really left little to the imagination, but yeah, she basically is like, I just want one more surgery. I'm so close to it's looking good.

And I've went through a lot and I want this. So he's like, okay. And I'll tell you who else is going through a lot. Marisol, who's a vegan and just was served sushi. Hey Steve, did you forget that I'm vegan? What's good for the stomach is good for the... Steve, you're going to have to help me out with this one. Water fish and it's bad for your bish, Steve. And he's like, well, I might've gotten a whole table full of sushi, but I also got you a little seaweed side salad. Why are we pretending you eat again? He's like, all right, when you got a sock and we're eating them in this little box, so a little lipstick

come out of this one because it's all over it now. I'm a real lipstick lady. All right. It gets hilarious. You know, I love to put some lips on the wood What's what's good for the wood is good for the shud, right? Am I losing my touch Steve? What's the good what is good in my heart? Am I right Steve? Yeah, there we go. Yeah Sockies you're gonna get some sucky my right Steve Got it. Nailed it. I'm excited to be married. You know, I mean, we are married

and I get married every season on this show, but that's okay. I'm gonna keep it simple, okay? I feel safer. We're gonna make it legal for reals. What's good for the laws is good for my paws, all over Steve. What's good for Steve gets all over my sleeve.

All right, I'm going a little far probably. I was a handy joke, Steve. Did you get that? No, you're hearing aids in, Steve. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. That's what I think, I say meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. That's my thing now, I say meow, meow to Steve.

You know, I don't want to glow to Alexia, you know, cause the whole Todd thing. I mean, Alexia with Todd, it's not good for Alexia. She gets very defensive, angry. I mean, she's away from him. It's like a breath of fresh air. And you know, I don't like fresh air, Steve. But in this case, I'll take it. He just brings out the worst in her, Steve.

Are you still eating that dead thing? He's like, God, I love fish. Yeah, I mean, I got to see another side of that adjunct. It's just not fun. And so we see a clip from last season of Alexia being mad at Marisol. And she's like, I mean, it's her home life that's creating this angry person. I know that she's just not like that. I'm like, that seemed like the Alexia we've seen every single season. I don't know. Wasn't any different to me. I'm like, that seemed like the Alexa we've seen every single season. I don't know. It wasn't any different to me. Yeah.

She's like, yeah, more than what I fear about the situation with the Lex. You know, what I fear more than anything is for myself. Okay. I just like, it's hard. It's hard being friends with someone who's mean to you because of their boyfriend. Steve, are you still eating fish? Listen, you might like sushi, but you're not going to get into this to she. You like that Steve dropped the fish already. It's disgusting.

So now we go back to Milan, and Larissa and Preston are getting ready, and Larissa's like, So, Preston, what did you think of that conversation, like, as a creative person? Any notes? I'm just, like, trying to make her see my point of view, like, and it's like, I'm going through a lot, like, and, like, I know, like, she has her whole dad situation, like, God forbid your dad could pass away in a week.

But why are you in Milan? Your dad's sick. And he's like, uh, that's their business. Don't be confrontational. I'm just telling her how I feel about her sick dad. What's the problem with that? It's so weird seeing a carbon copy of Scottie Pippen with microbladed eyebrows.

Can I just say? It's weird. Is it weird to you? I don't even really know Scott. I don't even know sports that much. I've just seen him before, but I'm like, God, you look exactly like him, but with microbladed eyebrows. It's like a mind fuck.

I don't know how people are dealing with this out there in the fandom, but it was rough for me. Yeah. You went through a lot. So Jack, the global ambassador of Philippine shows up and hey rock star. Hey girl. So they're going to go to a fitting in about an hour. And then we cut over to Lisa's room and um, she's getting her hair and makeup done.

And she's gonna, and so Jodie comes in and he goes, well, time to get out. What I said, how are you doing? I was like, what you just know, you didn't say that at all. Were you talking about your relationship? He's like, all right, time to get out of this relationship. I mean, how are you doing today, Lisa? She's like, I thought you said you were gonna head out. And so she's like, oh my God, you know,

I just recently connected to my dad, he's dying. I mean, I just need to stay positive, you know? I mean, I can't believe Larsa said that thing about my dad and his health. I mean, she has no idea. Here I am trying to get positive, you know? I mean, I can't believe Larsa said that thing about my dad and his health. I mean, she has no idea. Here I am trying to get into pantyhose, knowing my dad is dying when I'm doing a fashion show and I could have been there with him.

I mean, how dare she? And you know what? She's a terrible friend. She's being, why isn't she with my father? Has anybody asked that? Yeah, she shouldn't be reacting to me about something that is in the news about her like that I didn't even need. What? how are you doing? That's what I said.

So then we see the headline Marcus Jordan shades X Larsa Pippen on Instagram. After fans suggested he went her back, see his fiery response, which I think was literally just like a little emoji being like, whatever she should be in the shit or something like that. So Lisa's like, this whole fight is stupid. Yeah. That was like a bit, there's like way bigger things to be worried about in life. Like, will I ever be cured of this lockjaw that seems to plague me every single year?

Yeah, whatever that was, yeah. He's got lock face. It's not even his jaw, it's his entire face. Every time his eyes move, I get freaked out because it's like watching, it's like the haunted mansion. When you're walking in the paintings, the only thing that moves on the paintings are the eyes. They like watch you as you go back and forth in the paintings, the only thing that moves on the paintings are the eyes.

They like watch you as you go back and forth in the room. It's like, can't. So then now it's time to go to the fitting and Jack is like, oh my God, practice your angry eyes. I wanna see some angry eyes. And Preston's like, like this. It's like completely dead eyed. He's like, yes, nailed it.

Just like that. Practice your angry eyes so we can see them when you put your giant sunglasses over your face. It's our show. He's an artist. He's like a real Pococke. Hello, I am Phillip Klein. Oh, look at this.

She's sparkling. She's shiny. She's a little star in the sky. Yeah, that's right. Like I'm like a star in the sky. Like, oh, and this is my son Preston Oh, you look good. You look tall you look in shape. Did you did you show it? Did you do some show before all your eyes all eyes on you? This is life this right here fashion show is life

It means whatever happens here. Everyone can see but the good news is you don't have to wear heels Haha, stupid women wear heels cuz girls are wearing heels, but you're not a girl. You're a boy. Okay. That's a different ballgame, bro. So she's like, yeah, like, you know what? Like I would do like anything to make my kids happy. Like I remember like Preston like forgot his Spanish book at like school. Like, and he was like, my teacher like is going to be like so upset. Like, so like I got my Ferrari. Yeah.

I had a Ferrari like, and I drove like a hundred miles per hour. And like I literally had to pay the janitor to let in. Like I got his book and then like I brought it to him so he could do Spanish homework. Like that's what kind of a good mother I was. And they're like, so how much did you give the janitor? She's like, well, like I just took off my shoe and put my foot up against the glass. And then he, he opened the door and started thinking me in Spanish and chasing me down the hallway with like a newspaper in his hand.

He was like crazy like. This, I don't believe any of this story. She did not go racing to school to fetch the book he left behind. I'm just gonna say that right now. No, she didn't. And she never paid anybody $50 either. No, you know, Lars, it doesn't tip.

She would pay off the teacher to not give her son an F. Yeah, she just wanted to remind us she had a Ferrari. So she's like, yeah, like I'm like totally invested like in my kids, like, like the fruits of their labor need to like come back and like take care of me someday. Like, and I believe that that's the most believable thing. She said, remember when I took you to Milan, that should have been my show, but like, I let you do it. like, and you're not going to give me like half of your modeling money.

Like, come on, you're a terrible son. Yeah, like, how about your mom? Like, even though I look younger than you like, sorry, like. So then Preston's like tuning into the outfit and Phillips like, no, no, no, no, no, we don't wear T-shirts under the church. This is not America. It is Milan. That is no, no T-shirt under the shirt and your shoes. What happened? We cannot lace them up like this.

It looks really weird. You, this looks like my little son who goes to kindergarten. Stupid American shoes. Why are you doing this? Why are you in my fashion show? I can't believe Bravo paid me money to put this idiot in my show. What, you do this like in America like this? You lace them up like this?

Because this looks weird. I don't like it. Change America. Change the whole thing. I want a revert. Change it. Whoever voted for this is bullshit. I don't want to see it anymore. Yeah. Well, he's, he's never modeled before, but I don't want him to do too well because I want him to get an MBA in finance, like all creative people do. By the way, where's your friend, you know, the blondie, the blonde one, the stupid one,

the fallah? Where's she? And she's like, oh, Lisa, we're like not even like friends anymore, like so. Yeah, we haven't like talked in like minutes. We're like not friends anymore. She's so ridiculous. Can you, can I push her down the stairs or something? He's like, yeah, well, maybe she will fall at the shore.

Maybe. She's a fallah. So, um, then we go back to Miami. And Alexia's at a restaurant. And Marisol's there, and Kiki and Julia, and Johnny shows up. And Alexia hilariously is like, oh, well, Johnny is like one of my best friends. He's like my son.

And he's actually like Peter's age. Oh, well, you know Peter. He's like a Johnny. But he's not a Johnny, because Johnny's a Johnny. And he's like an incredible human being that I miss so much. And he moved to Madrid. And I'm just going to surprise him with all his friends, you know, and like, unfortunately,

dirty and Adriana didn't make the cut because I want everyone to have fun. And I don't want anyone to make it about them. I want to make sure in this scene, no one makes this scene for Johnny about them. So understand it's a scene for Johnny and it would be only about Johnny. And anyone who makes the scene about them are going to be removed from the restaurant. OK. Oh, my God, Johnny, we're so happy to have you here. You know, Johnny's been in Madrid for a year, everybody, and unfortunately, when Todd moved out,

he didn't think about how Johnny would feel about it when he was on his plane coming from Madrid. Ha ha ha! I can't believe Todd and I did this to me. Hold on, hold on, Alexia. We need to have some fun and games here, so let's talk about uncircumcised men. So many in Madrid, right?

Oh, but no, no, no, no, not yet. You'll get your moment. Okay. Uncircumcised man. What do you have to say about that? Alexia, what Spanish guys don't get circumcised. Are you so circumcised? Are you are you who's circumcised?

Okay. If you got four squint skin, raise your hand. Okay. No one. So they're the guys aren't answering. They're like, whatever. And the guy goes, what No one? So the guys aren't answering, they're like whatever. And the guy goes, what about you? And she goes, what about me?

I don't have a dick. We'll just do the question. I would like a penis, you know, and by the way, extra meat is fun, you just pull it and snap it. And if we're handing out dicks, that's what I'm saying. Give me some foreskin and a dick and I'll put it right there. And that's what you call a good sushi.

You got foreskin, this horse in. Johnny. Well, thanks to Johnny, when the news was terrible, Johnny was like, I'm booking a flight to Madrid because you need to get out because the news has been bad, right Johnny? Right? Because unfortunately Todd filed five to six months ago and the courts have picked up that

he's filed and so now there's no action in the case. So they're forcing him to dismiss it and drop out or proceed. So the ball is on his court, you know? And I said, why are you thinking about the court? They don't like that in there. What are you going to get a basket in court? I can't play ball. Like, this is unfair.

It's unfair. But I said, you know what? God wants me to play ball. So I'm going to go to the court. So I got a glove. And then a guy at the table is like, you need to decide what you wanna do. Excuse me?

No, this is the ball is in his court, okay? And Kiki's like, you know, Alexia, I know is very strong. She's very stubborn. She'll tell you how it is. I've never seen this weak side of her. And I know love makes you do things that are crazy, but girl, you got to get your power back. Oh, I think he's playing with me without the ball because it's in the score. Then he left it behind. And basically the story was

he didn't like the show life. Todd, he liked the show in the beginning. And then he didn't like the show because he didn't like the way he saw himself or had the public saw him. They said he didn't like how the papers made him look. So the show part of him and he like couldn't control it. So that's what happened happened and I told him after we got back together in the therapy I told him I will leave their show. I would leave their show dad if that's what you want I will turn all the cameras off. You are more important to me than cameras I mean it was a lie, you know because like I'm a giver So like I have to give the people what they want and the people want me

You know what? I mean, I'm a star like you can't give the people what they want and the people want me. You know what I mean? Like you can't tell the people to walk out and look up in the sky. There's no stars there. Okay. They need to see the star and that's me. But I told him, you know, I was like, I'll leave, I'll leave that if you want me to.

And then he said, oh no, it's too late already. So you might as well stay on the show with me and go starring with you. And Mary, so I was like, I knew it. He's a show whore. I knew it. I hate men who are show whores. Steve, come here. Sit on my lap. Say something funny. Okay. Go back to the car. Cut.

He's just soothing her and calming her down because she's filming a show and wants her to say nice things about him. I don't like it. Yes. I'm realizing that it's not that he doesn't like the show. He doesn't like the power that the show gives me, and he doesn't like my friend group, and he doesn't like any of that. And he says Marisol is a slut and has a stupid face and has bad hair. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, too many details here, right?

And he wants to control the narrative. And by the way, I don't want to bash him. This is not bashing, this is truth. The man does not own all the shit he's done. No accountability, he's stupid, he has an ugly nose, tiny dick, and he is dumb, but I'm not bashing him, just saying the truth shit he's done. No accountability. He's stupid, he has an ugly nose, tiny dick, and he is dumb. But I'm not bashing him, just saying the truth. That's it.

And one of the guys is like, well, if it acts like a duck and quacks like a duck. It's a goat. Is someone gonna finish this? Cause I really don't. I've never learned how that ended. It's a goat. It's a goat.

I put the little duck pills on goats and make them quack. That's how it works. Well, one day it's hot and one day it's cold. And I don't even know him. He's like a total stranger. I'm like, who are you? My ring cameras are like registering someone's at the door but I'm like, what are you from Amazon?

And he's like, no, it's Todd. I'm like, who? You know, because I live in your fake rented apartment. Okay, it's not even a real apartment. It's like a shoe box. It's like a shoe box. There's no AC in there. It's not even real.

I drive your fake rented car. You know, there's a little person under there with feet that makes the car move. It's not even real. So like there I said it, I said it, I do everything. Nothing is yours. Nothing is mine. And that's the truth. It's all true.

Okay. It's all true. It's been a lie. This whole thing has been a lie. Alexia, you're one of the strongest persons I know, but I'm, but I'm weak when it comes to this man. I hate that I'm so mad at myself because I fucking love this man. I fucking love this. All right. All right Okay. Well, you got a narc which is short for nurses, but I guess I guess I should be careful when I say narc around

Your lexia. Yeah, I already had that chapter in my life. Okay, everyone gets another great So like is sobbing really making sure this night's about Johnny Alex is sobbing Which is why she invited him here in the first place. And I love that Marisol goes, you had a narc, I had a narc, wait. And she says, Julia had a narc. She goes, wait, you had a narc, Julia? Oh my God, I can't, I can't. How did you not know that Julia didn't have a narc?

That's like her entire storyline, the first two seasons. Yeah. Let's not even entire storyline, the first few seasons. Yeah. Let's not even waste time explaining to Alexi because she ain't going to listen anyway. So she's like, oh my God, I can't, they should all die. They should all die. We should kill all parks.

No, it's a narc. No, I never liked parks anyway. What are you supposed to do? Go outside? Like, am I supposed to do that with this face? I put cream on, come on. You know what? I don't want to see, I don't want to see it. Kill them all. I just want straight lines. No, not arcs. Narcs. Oh, but I don't like that. Should I be the rainbow?

Should be straight lines. Just a straight left, left to right. Well listen, you know what? It's a personality disorder. It's horrible. It is so horrible. Marisol's like, it's a mental illness. Okay. It's a mental illness. What are you going to do? God, terrible. Let's get rid of all of them. You know what we should do? Take mentally ill people, put them in a swimming pool, cover them in gasoline. Just light a match. Just kill all the mentally ill people. I'm just over it. I did think it was really hilarious when I know Alexia was like, oh, narcissists, they should all fucking die.

She was like, they should all fucking die. They're terrible, they're monsters. So then she's like, you know, I'm going to leave it on him because he wants to put it on me, but like, you're like, you're the one that wanted it. I tried, okay, like I made the effort and you know what I'm not going to do? I'm not going to give him that. I'm going to say, you know what, motherfucker? You're the one that wanted it. I tried okay, like I made the effort and you know what? I'm not going to do I'm not gonna give him that I'm going to say you know what motherfucker

You're the one you did this you've been playing me for five to six months And now I've waited this long and it's going to be on you ball on court ball on court and So one of the guys like oh, yeah, so you're supposed to be the bad guy and file and she said oh, yeah exactly Like I like for eight years. I gave you my heart and soul and like, and the guy's like, yeah, he's trying to get you to file for divorce. So he could say, look what she did to me. She's like, well, I'm not going to give him the opportunity. You know why? Because he's a coward and he's a coward. He's like a park burn.

That's what I want. I want dead parks, no slides for anybody. He's going to do it like a coward, you know? And she's fully screaming in the restaurant. She's like, he's a coward. And how we love is a coward and he's not going to do it like a coward, you know? And she's fully screaming in the restaurant. She's like, he's a coward and how he loves a coward and he's not gonna do it like a coward. She's making, she's so riled up and it's hilarious. And of course Marisol loves this because she loves the piling on. And Julia's like, you know, I keep on wanting to like Todd. You know, he's charming. And when I visualized what you said to all of us

and his daughters were packing and Frankie was there and you came home and Frankie was sitting on couch and Frankie was saying, God is gone. Oh, if only I had God for Frankie in that moment. Every time you say you have dinner with him and I run into you in a restaurant or wherever we are and I think, oh, you're charming, you're, but you're the guy. You smile to me, but you are the guy who let Frankie see somebody move. I'll be like, oh my God, he did this to Frankie. Frankie had to see him move.

Frankie was on the couch. Frankie has never been the same. This morning, Frankie came to me and he said, mom, can I have breakfast? Oh my God, he is rude, Frankie. Oh, Frankie is ruined forever. My kids are everything to me and it's just so fucking She just starts making She's making these noises and the entire table gathers around her. But I still love him. Please help me everybody. Please. You have to help me. You have to help me.

I can't go back to the sky. They're like, I love how this is playing out on the valley and Miami together. This one at least makes it fun, you know. Here comes one right now. So then Larza is walking with the global ambassador and she's like, Oh my God, like the traffic like is crazy. Like, and so they're at the Phillip line show and it's packed and makeup is being done. And Lisa's like, I want bigger hair.

I want these kids to know who's coming down my runway. It's me. Stop calling me mom. So I'm looking amazing. My hair's looking fine. I'm gonna show these little 20 year olds what's up. It's Lisa, Lisa Hoxteam. The next big thing.

I think we need to work on that. The newest big model, Lisa Hoxteam. Yeah, so then she checks in on Preston, which is actually really nice. She's like, you need food? Okay, because I'm going to be mama bear because your mom's not back yet. Okay, I guess she doesn't have the same sort of access that us famous models have.

Oh well, Larsa, too bad. Enjoy sitting with all the regular people. We're models. If your mom had really done what she said she was going to do and make the last fucking man whore of dad to you, he would have had some coke and he never would need food again, but he's not here. So look, I got a pop tart in my purse.

So then Jody shows up and, uh, he's like, shows up in like a little white blaze or whatever and the music's like, doon doon do do doon doon doon doon do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. I'm like, what is this like Ford F-150 commercial music for him? Why are they doing this? It's like stealing from the B-diamond Steal over there. Like if we have to air it, we're going to steal their music for incidentals. So now they go, Jodie is on one side of the gay and Lars is on the other side.

And Lars is like, Oh my God, like Jodie, who like? Like, I'm like, as far as like I'm concerned, like he's just like another face in the crowd. He's like a doorknob. He's like a doorknob with teeth. Like, I don't, and I sit move. Weirdly enough. Did you just talk?

What's his time? I think something's wrong, but I don't know. It doesn't move. Jodie is sitting there like the FAO Schwartz clock and he's just like like, oh. And Jodie's like, so Lisa, when she was doing her practices, took her own turn choice. Larsa, you don't have any marbles, do you? I actually do like, but she's a father like,

she falls, she doesn't even need my marbles. Like, why doesn't she want my marbles? Like I tried to have marbles to knock her over and she didn't even use them. Like that's not like a real friend. I'm glad we're not friends anymore like. So Preston comes out number two and Jack is like, oh my God, Preston came out as number two.

He basically opened the show. I mean, basically, I mean, it was number one, but it was number two. I mean, that's like close, like basically the opener. She goes, yeah. And like Lisa's like number 50 or something. Ha ha, ha ha, boyfriend to number 50. Hello, Al. I'm like, dad, like number 50 or something. Ha ha, ha ha, boyfriend at number 50. Hello, Al.

I'm like, Dad, like number 50, that's like so pathetic. So then Lisa comes walking, and so when Lisa comes out to do her walk, Lara says like, wait, wait, wait, Jack, Jack, Jack, let's do a selfie like, let's do a selfie. So they do a selfie. She pulls out a full selfie light. She's setting up like a full ring light in the front.

She's like, can we get a wind machine over here? That would be great. Cause we're like gonna do like a selfie. Like, oh, look at that. Love you, Jack. Lucky match. Lisa just blows them a kiss. And Jodie's like, well, she did great.

Yeah, like I don't know who did me. Yeah, like I look so good in this one. Hehehehehe. Lisa's like, I've even done spotlights on her with her little light. No one cares because everyone's looking at me. Like cut to like Italian fashion editors. Who is the older person walking on the runway?

Why do we have senior citizen on the runway right now? So Jack, you know, they just got these people for stunt casting because Jack tells Larsa, she goes, Oh my God, the finale is the best because they all come out again. Yeah, we know Jack. I love that Larsa needs to be told this. Yeah. She's like, Oh my God, there's a mob on the runway. There's too many people there rushing. It's a riot. No, they're all supposed to be on

the models at once. Oh my God. But like I support my son so much, I'm gonna do like another selfie like during his bow. So she does another selfie while they're doing their walk. And then backstage, Jodie comes back and he's like, wow, do you think Larsa was going for you with the kiss? She goes, yeah, yeah, honey. You're watching me over there and I'm over here.

So I'm gonna be a bitch and I'm gonna be a bad one. What do you think about that, Jodie? He's like, you're watching me over there and I'm over here. So I'm going to be a bitch and I'm going to be a bad one. What do you think about that, Jelody? It's like, you're so amazing. Your dad would be so proud. I call them. I have to be honest. It just there was a lot of beeps. Oh, that means it's probably OK, right?

Really slow. Everything's fine. Yeah, he's fine. Everything's fine. I have to be honest, like, I wasn't sure press it was going to be doing, but do a good job like cause he's creative. Like, but he's also like, I don't know. He's not very good at things like, but he killed it.

He did a great job. Like good for him. So now we go to the after party and Larsa and Lisa are just totally ignoring each other. And Lisa's thanking Philip for the opportunity. And Lisa Larsa goes up to Lisa and was like, I feel like we have to talk. Like when we get home, like, yeah, we have to,

but like, I don't want to to talk like when we get home, like, yeah, we have to, but like, I don't want to do it here unless there's like a rapper who was big in the year 2004 to come, to mediate between the two of us, okay? I just want to have fun tonight. Oh, so we are besties again? Come on, you guys, you want to be in line with me? We have to be best friends, you and the blonde one.

Come on, stupid face. Hey, how come you didn't fall? Do you want me to push you? Sometimes in a man, you know, if you want to fall, you should tie your shoes like this idiot over here. You know what? Larsa's tone is terrible. She likes to talk down to people

and this is all too familiar. And then we see flashbacks of Leni. Equating Larsa to Leni Hoxine is hilarious and like definitely, no, it's not the same. Larsa's terrible on her own grounds. That's the thing, like you don't have to equate her to Lenny. Larsa is her own awful, you know, vertical. Like she doesn't need to be equated.

So Lisa's like, I don't do that. I have boundaries. She's going to respect me or she's not going to have me around anymore. Oh my God, I hate this fucking woman. I can't wait to hang out with her the rest of the night and ignore my boyfriend. Which she does.

So they decide to like put it aside and just hang out anyway. So they're talking to Fabulos and he's like, oh, I'm just trying to be messy and see what's going on with the housewives. And Lisa's like, well, if anyone can solve this, it's gonna be Detective Fabulos. I love your cleaning stuff.

Like cleaning stuff. You're from New York, right? Like, so you understand loyalty, right? Huh? He's like, so you aren't loyal? She's like, well, if someone says fuck you, you're a bitch, your man's cheap, would you kick her out of your house?

Okay, but like, how are you gonna hang out with my ex-boyfriend when he's talking shit about me publicly? How about that, Fabulous? Nah, he's lying, she's lying, she's lying, never did that. And he's like Fabulous? Nah, he's lying. She's lying. She's lying. Never did that. And he's like, okay, well, but that if the boyfriend was doing it, then it's not her, right? Just see if Fabulous says so. That's what it is. Okay. Could he use a new one? His name?

Sure. But whatever. And he's like, this is how we squash it. You don't hang out with her ex and then she won't be disrespectful to you. She goes, if Fabulous says that's what's up, that's what's up. Yeah. I love that Fabulous came in here and randomly like took over and like solved it for them. He's like, I can't deny it. I'm a fucking rioter and you guys have too much of a beef. Okay.

And so she's like, wow, judge Fabulous sided with me. I won America. And then Lars says like, I'd let it go. It's fine. Judge Fabulous sided with me. I won America. But then, and then Larsa's like, I'd let it go. It's fine. Fabulous definitely sided with me. It was very clear. Judge Fabulous was on my side. Loyalty is big in the rap game. And as a rapper, I think he saw that in me.

Loyalty is big in the rap game, is it? Am I reading different newsfeeds than you? Like, what are you talking about? Lisa shouldn't be hanging out with my ex. And of course I shouldn't be disrespectful in your home, but notice what needs to happen first for the second part not to happen. Like, hm, clock that fabulous.

So now Jodie isn't found and Lisa's like, oh, Jodie's gonna be mad cause he feels alone and left out. But you have to be social. That's like our business. Like we just talked to Fabulous. So like it's like we're in the rap game now basically. So tell Jodie to get over it.

He's gonna get a cap in his ass. I learned that from Fabulous. So then the cameras on screen, the camera shut down for the night, but the tension between Lisa and Larsa and continued and Jodie, it also didn't shut down for the night, but the tension between Lisa and Larsa and continued and Jodi. It also didn't shut down. So one week later, Kiki's like,

oh, I want to hear about Milan because I've been hearing about Alexia talking about Todd for seven days straight. Please, something new. Okay, we're like Lisa, like, and I like started to like get along like, and like we made progress like, but then like the last night at Milan,

like Jodi got so like crazy and he didn't want to talk to us anymore and he was like yelling at us, but no one could see his mouth moving. So I thought it was the lady behind me yelling and I like almost punched her in the face, but it turned out it was like this piece of wood that was yelling at me and his name is Jody. So like, I'm going to show you a photo and someone goes, Oh my God, what was his eyes like? What was his eyes like?

It's like, let me show you his eyes. They show the eyes and Jody's like, he's like poked out of his brain. And they're like, oh my God, look at his eyes. Jodie had a step and repeat in like some paisley jacket or something like that. And he's like, oh, oh my God. But watch it be that he like did a step and repeat without Lisa. And they're like, oh, without Lisa, how could he do that? Well, they said something about his eyes on the show his eyes all cracked out

So I'm guessing they're gonna come for Jodie for his coke use because last week after the very obvious like oh Let's go into my room and do some AC bro or whatever. Yeah. I wasn't this AC amazing. Yeah, this AC is great So he came out with an Instagram post. He's like, this is just editing. This is ridiculous. You know, my friends came to support me, but we don't like being on TV. So we were in my room and what, so what if I was doing Coke anyway? It's Miami at half the people do Coke, but I wasn't doing Coke. And how dare all of you. And that was another one that was too long to read the whole thing.

I was like, girl, don't eat. Nobody need five pages from you. Yeah. It was all about his friends didn't want to be on TV, but they didn't want to be on TV though, cause they don't want to be seen on TV doing coke. So I guess that's probably the thing. Anywho, this was a hilarious episode. Honestly, Alexia's big monologue in the middle of it. Like while she's saying she doesn't, she wants the night to be about Johnny and she turns it not only in the bet all

about her, but she makes everyone's meals be about Johnny and she turns it not only all about her, but she makes everyone's meals about her because she's like yelling like, oh Todd, kill all the narcissists. It was so camp, like Alexia is so camp. That's why I love her so much. Yeah, this shows off to a great start and they're really smart in how they're editing it.

It's very quick moving. And the first scenes, just having all the ladies getting together and explaining really quickly what's going on to those people who are just jumping on. Because Miami's not one of the highest rated and you never know when people are just gonna leave that TV on and keep watching. And that's smart.

They're doing a good job this year. I'm loving it. Yeah. Everyone should be watching it. I can't wait for the new girl to join the cast too. She looks like she'll be fun. So we'll just have to wait on that and we will see what happens with this photo next week on The Real Housewives of Miami.

But until then, hopefully we'll see a bunch of you tonight at the Fonda. Again, tickets are watchworkrapins.com and we will catch you on the next episode of Watchwork Rapins. Bye everyone. Bye. Watchwork Rapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice in King.

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Yes we canna, it's Sedana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 ccs of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubs. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

It's our queen, it's Queen La'ifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hurst. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie.

Knock knock knocking on Katie Mannock's door. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podchadly. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron. She's a whlestick it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz it's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it it's Lola Alcolani. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose. We're on the floor with Molly Dorsett. There's a chance of meatballs

it's Rebecca Cloud. She's the queen bee it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie it's Sarah Talofsun. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Come on check your If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery We love you guys!