Watch What Crappens - #290: Here's To The Ladies Who Lunch

Episode Date: May 5, 2016

It's Cinco De Mayo, and we're celebrating by making fun of our favorite Bravo stars. First we open the Bravo Mailbag and unleash some crazy scenarios involving "Carrie," "Frozen," and mall food. Then it's on to "Real Housewives of New York" as Bethenny makes mincemeat of Jules and LuAnn and whoever else gets in her way. We then discuss "Here Comes The Motherhood" briefly before moving on to the premiere of "Below Deck: Mediterranean." Finally, we wrap up with part III of the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" reunion. Fun times! Here are the time codes: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:21 - Crappens Mailbag 00:38:34 - Real Housewives of NYC 01:31:19 - Below Deck Mediterranean (and a little There Goes The Motherhood too) 01:53:41 - Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion part III Subscribe at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Support us at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Follow us at facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Visit us at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens? What happens? What happens?

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap we just love to watch on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from b-sideblog.com and the Banter Blender. And joining me, as always, is the wonderful, freshly scrubbed and melodious Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hi, Ronnie. Hello, Ben. Hi. Hello, hello, hello.

It's going to be a crazy day. I never take a shower before we record. Everything's new and fresh. I know. I did not take a shower. But you know what I did do is I went to breakfast. And I rarely actually go to breakfast, like go and have a breakfast meal before we record. And you know who I saw at breakfast?

Who? A Bravo star, none other than Melissa Ford from Blood, Sweat, and Heals. Well, look at that. Look at that. So, I mean, that's just a blessing right there for our podcasts well all those people who are wondering does melissa ford go to breakfast there you have it that has been solved um and some guy walked up to her table and like shook like he like introduced himself to like her and her friend and it was really awkward and then he walked away and they

gave looks to each other and they were like we are still trying to process that and uh i'm surprised she didn't charge him because that's how she makes her money when pervs come up and shake her hand she usually gets a fiver or something well you know what um she is beautiful i would like to add no makeup no nothing and she's beautiful melissa ford you go girl if i may use an antiquated expression from the 90s which is when i mean she's kind of she herself is an antiquated expression from the 90s so that's why it's appropriate but she's gorgeous you like to do the roger rabbit with me anyway she looked lovely i'm just reporting just reporting what i'm seeing this is just another morning it's really just an elaborate way to say that i had a big tall thing of iced coffee at

breakfast and then i got a second one to go and i got it here in a styrofoam cup that's not going to be helping the earth but it's gonna be helping my high so that's what's going on this morning i have a friend whose new obsession with helping the earth is straws she keeps posting guys straws am i right i mean there's landfills filled with straws get a metal straw and she'll show her special metal straw that's when you've gone too far that's when it's time to turn off the facebook yeah no let me tell you something metal straws are the worst i don't know what it is you just it's not the same sort of suction like a metal straw or one of those recycled straws or those

ones that feel like cardboard. No, you just... Paper straws are the worst. They just have to be plastic. I'm sorry. And if it's not going to be plastic, then just don't use a straw. Agreed. And you know who else would agree? Melissa Ford. I'll bet you anything.

I believe she is on our side with the straw agenda. I'm going to wait in that diner until she comes back in just so I can ask her. What are your thoughts on straws? Blood, sweat, and straws. Straws. Killing the world? Or is China worse? What's your opinion? I'll tell you what's killing the world. It's probably the styrofoam cup that the straw is in.

We're already off on a crate in a crazy place i am like my eyes are crossed right now i'm seeing double so everyone if you are feeling it this morning the way we are go to facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends uh to join in on the conversation. It is such a good Facebook page. Now we just hit today 6,500 likes on Facebook, which is awesome. That's just like, if you multiply that by like 100,000, that'll be like 65 million, and that's when we last saw dinosaurs.

So really, we're there. If you come to patreon.com forward slash watch what crap happens uh you can support us uh you get access to a bonus episode once a week so you get like a full extra 45 minutes to an hour of us talking about it's like what we're talking about now but for like an hour um you get access to hangouts and stuff like that. And then if you go to WatchWhatCrapHands.com, then you can find links to all our personal Twitter feeds and Instagrams and all that great stuff. So, I mean, that's that. All right. Well, let's get this going.

Yeah. You know, so we didn't do it. This is our very special Cinco de Mayo episode. And I said that with as much of an American accent as possible. That's my favorite part of Mexican music. So we are not building a wall around this episode. We are going to open up the Krappen's mailbag for Cinco de Mayo. Do it!

mailbag for Cinco de Mayo. Do it! Sorry, but mail is delivered on Cinco de Mayo. Okay, everybody? Just get over it. You'll be fine. Should we renovate or revise our Crap in the Mailbag music to have lyrics? I realize that

clearly the phlegm has lyrics, but Crap in the Mailbag doesn't have lyrics. It just has noise. It's the lyrics but crappin's mailbag doesn't have lyrics it just has no back it's the mail back it's the mail bag we should really it occurs to me we there should be some sort of like crappin's mail back or what you just sang because it's just a dinosaur and some sheep yeah well there's usually lyrics we just didn't sing them this week because I'm still thinking about what Melissa Ford was possibly ordering in that diner You know, I didn't look I did not look

I'm guessing egg whites but also toast Okay, what's in the mailbag? Alright, so Michael Horn We start with Michael Horn A regular contributor to the mailbag And if you want to contribute to the mailbag, by the way That's a donation level or whatever at Patreon.

So that's how you can do that. So he says, Ramona has been posting on Twitter recently saying, where in the world is hashtag Ramona? First of all, I love that. Is that true? Because I imagine she's in New Zealand

because Bravo Newaland just launched and apparently ramona was there oh god so michael says first of all i love that she's attempting to get her own name trending second if this were an actual show what would it be like this is great i love it we are in the world is hashtag ramona where in the world is Ramona, Ramona, Ramona? I'm in Zambia. Today I'm in Zambia. It's just Ramona going from country to country, making people unpack for her.

I feel like it's just her going from like Zbaros to like Zabars. Am I in Zbaros today or Zabars? We're in the world. Hashtag Ramona. I'm in a Cinnabon in Nicaragua, okay? I went to Au Bon Pain and I saw Matt Lauer. We're in the world is hashtag Ramona and hashtag Matt Lauer.

Who wants to eat at a restaurant called Au Bon Pain? Like, that's crazy, am I right? Like, who wants to eat at a restaurant called Au Bon Pain? Like, that's crazy. Am I right? Like, who wants to go to Hale and Hardy? Like, what's Hale? I know kale, but not Hale. I don't get it. What are these? Igloos? This is crazy. These things are so

small. They're made of ice. That's crazy, okay? Hey, Avery. Someone made a house out of ice cubes, and they made it in a circle. And there's no penguin inside. It's actual people in there. It's crazy, okay? Hey, Avery, someone made a house out of ice cubes, and they made it in a circle, and there's no penguin inside. It's actual people in there. It's crazy. What was the whole point of Carmen Sandiego? Because I played the computer game, and on that one, you had to – they would give you clues about states and stuff, and then you would have to guess the state.

Yeah, well, because Carmen Sandiego is an international bank thief, heister, whatever. And so you're trying to find Carmen Sandiego and her cronies. Like every level will be her crony. So you would get to a state. I, of course, I had the where in Europe is Carmen Sandiego. So I was a little more refined. A little snapple. so it was a little more refined and a little snapple and you would basically for in my you know you'd go you'd get to a place and was like if you were on the path there'd be like an animation

of like a like a crook carrying like a bank safe across the way or a bank safe would fall and it's like oh you just missed them uh but they left this clue they're going someplace that uh like where there was an old coliseum and you're like ah rome so then you go to rome and it's like oh you just missed her again you know when in rome wear ramona blue okay okay i'm sorry but i had to steal this dress are you chasing me all around europe for it now i think that's a little rude i'm sorry it's day class a it was the sheet on my bed, okay? It was the toga. I thought it was for free, okay? It was in Ramona Blue slash Ramona Red, okay? I thought it was mine. To prove how independent I am from Mario, I'm going to send him the bill for those hotel sheets,

okay? The interns told me to take them. The Roman interns gave them to me, okay? Hey, I'm in Cipriani's right now, okay? So where in the world am I? Oh, I guess I ruined it. Okay, I'm sorry. I just like the idea of it being her in a food court. Hey, it's a Barrow. Would you mind unpacking my bags for me, okay? Hey, I'm in Panda Express, but it's not going very fast if you ask me, okay?

I'm sorry. Sorry. It's not going very fast, if you ask me. Okay? I'm sorry. Sorry. What's that Asian place in the mall that you get, like, noodles from the buffet? I know.

I couldn't remember. That's why I said Panda Express. It was something like, I don't remember. But there was that place. Chipotle's okay. Like, extra for guacamole, okay? I'm going to get crazy, okay? Because that's what the new me does, okay? The old me wouldn't pay extra for guacamole, but here I'm going to get crazy, okay? Because that's what the new me does, okay? The old me wouldn't pay extra for guacamole, but here I am.

Like, I'm all alone. Are there any men here? Hey, where in the world is hashtag Ramona? I'll give you a clue. There are no cats here, but there certainly are dogs, and they love their sticks, and they might be on them, okay? Where in the world is pepperoni? Where in the world is pepperoni? This pizza is so blank.

It's like a map that no one ever knows where to go. You know, there's like nothing on the map. I need some little dots of pepperoni. Okay, Sabero? Hey, where in the world is hashtag Ramona? I'll give you a clue. I'm hanging out with my friend Nathan and he brought his dog. Get it?

And we're going to go to Coney Island soon. Okay? Hey. Hey. Where is... I like that she starts it all by interrupting you. Hey. Hey. She's uneven. You know how she does that? She sort of does that sway. She's like, hey. And she shakes her head.

Hey, where in the world is Ramona? I'll give you a hint. It's a spicy place and the spice smells like cinnamon and I'm wearing my head in a bun, my hair in a bun. Okay, that's the clue. I think she would just go to the mall and stand in front of the directory thing just so people would pay attention to her. What are you looking at? Do you want my picture? It's because it's the new Ramona.

Take a picture with the new Ramona. Hashtag it. Where in the world is hashtag Ramona? Hashtag where in the mall is Spencer's Gifts? I'll help you find out. Here's the directory right next to me. Caroline Fleming would totally find her posts on Instagram too

because they would all be hashtagged with random things. She'd be like, hashtag pepperoni. Oh look it's Ramona. Hashtag KB toys. Oh look, there's Ramona. What else is in that mail Bergs? Oliver Haskins says, imagine it is May

2017 and after the smash success of Kyle sitcom, TV Land has decided to order a new series lil stinger the job is to open for a team of showrunners for the i'm sorry the job is open for a team of showrunners for the series but first you both must collaborate on answers to two questions one who should be cast as geraldine parsons? And two, what is the plot line of a typical episode? By the way, I acknowledge that this is my second question about Kyle sitcom,

but I'm obsessed with the idea of turning a horrific childhood marred by addiction, financial strife, and sibling warfare into a family sitcom. Almost as obsessed as I am with Kyle's decision to sit in her hallway for her confessionals in front of that stairway. That seems too steep with the railing covered in plastic. Oliver, you are living the truth today in the Krapitz mailbag.

I love it. Okay. So what is it now? It's season two of Kyle's sitcom? Yeah. No, no, no. Because Kyle's sitcom was such a success, there's going to be a spinoff about Ramona's childhood called Lil Stinger. This is the Ramona mailbag.

It really is. I'm sorry. So, one, who is Geraldine Parsons? Who plays Geraldine Parsons Smith? I'm going to say Holland. My aunt Lou. I was going to say Holland Taylor. Holland Taylor.

Oh, she's dating. What's her buns now? Okay, carry on. I'll figure it out. Oh, yeah. That's right. She's a lesbian nowbun's now. Okay, carry on. I'll figure it out. Oh, yeah, that's right. She's a lesbian now. And two, what is the plot line of a typical episode? Well, I think every episode begins with Ramona walking into a forest

and then remembering something and crying. Although she's... That's how it starts. Old Ramona, like present-day Ramona remembers something, and then we flash back to little Ramona played by another fanning sister, the new one. Because there's Dakota and there's Elle. So I'm sure there's another one ready to come up. The new one.

Dakota, Elle, and Sal. It's actually played by Avery. It should be played by Avery because Avery was an inspiring actress at one point, right? Yeah, but she'll just be rolling her eyes the whole time. Like it needs to be someone with popped-out eyes. I'm trying to think who's, like, little with popping-out eyes. Um, Susan's daughter from Game of Crowns.

Like... LOL. Who's laughing now, daughter? LOL! I'm Ramona Singer, and these are my thoughts. I remember being in the woods, and now I'm scared. Yeah, it could be all the horrifying things of why she's scared of in this episode like it could be modern day ramona getting out of a cab and having to get over a puddle and then she'd be like when i was a little girl okay

like i went peepee in my bed and it made a puddle and then my dad put my nose in it and spanked me and said outside outside and so now every time i see a puddle i start crying and screaming outside and then piper laurie as geraldine parsons smith comes in and yells at her i think piper laurie is actually a perfect blend of holland taylorou. Well done. She is. Piper Laurie is Geraldine Parsons-Smith. And she yells at Little Stinger. And then Little Stinger gets so mad that then knives come out of... So basically, Ramona as a child is Carrie.

Yeah, pretty much. Let's just face it. Ramona, someone dumped a bucket of pig's blood on Ramona at the prom. Except instead of closing all the door with rage, she goes, you know what? This is day class A, okay, prom? I want all of you to know I'm going to lock you in the gym and tell you that this is day class A. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

And they all start screaming, no. The old me would have burnt down this high school, okay? But the new me realizes that this has invented Ramona Red, okay? Okay. And then Bethany is in the crowd. I don't get it. Is this like a prank? Is this like empowerment?

Like, what's happening here? I don't get it. Like, literally, like, kill me now. If you're not, if you're not, literally Ramona, kill me now with your telekinesis. Like literally I'll be on the floor dying and I'll be happy.

Like literally light this place on fire already. Like I'm ready to die. Like I can't look at you with the blood on your face, okay? Like literally I've had enough. Like I don't get it. Like I don't get it. It's catharsis.

It's like adolescence. Like I don't know. I don't know. Oh no. What Ramona? What? Your mom makes you pray? Like she makes you pray every day?

That's abuse Ramona? Really? Really? You want me to tell you about my mom? Did your mom ever get slammed on the head with a telephone and dragged across the floor? And then, you know, like, lose a bunch of bets at the racetrack? You know, and then not get dinner for three days but still throw something up? Like, is that your mom?

Like, brand your mother. Like, literally, like, I'm sorry. Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that, like, I made fun of you in the locker room about, like, you having a period. Like, okay, like, I get it. Like, I'm abrasive. I'm tough. Like, I make jokes about periods. Like, that's just who I am. Like, I'm sorry. Like made fun of you in the locker room about you having a period. Okay, I get it. I'm abrasive. I'm tough. I make jokes about periods.

That's just who I am. I'm sorry. You know what? You just have to... I'm going to stick up for you, and I'm going to argue with you as me. Okay? I get it. Okay?

You know what? It's fine. Just kill me now. Just burn me down and kill me in the car. I get it. I heard that Ramona's period was written by a ghostwriter. Not that kind of period, Carol, okay? I'm sorry.

I'm not dead yet. I'm going to crawl out of this grave. I'm sorry. So it's basically, okay, so it starts with Ramona being triggered in the present about something in her past, and then it's like abuse at home and having pig's

blood thrown on her in high school while bethany complains about she does something telekinetic that doesn't kill people it just annoys everyone like oh she's making the chair float around again i'm sorry strippers feel their chest being poked sexily you like that she's just like a really annoying telekinetic presence oh gosh there goes my pencil again so i'm sorry i like it opening itself so weird I'm sorry I can't be around you It just makes me look bad Okay so now Catherine says

I'm going to give you the hardest marry fuck kill ever I don't know what I would do She says Kate Chastain, Cameron Eubanks or Caroline Stansbury Who do we marry fuck and kill? Ah jeez Well I'd marry Stansbury Because I don't think that she has a prenup Okay She's the richest Well, I'd marry Stanbury because I don't think that she has a prenup. Okay.

She's the richest. And also she has like that really lovely amount of hatred that sees out towards everyone. So that would be natural, I feel like, in a marriage. Right. I would probably fuck Cameron because usually people who were that uptight. Hello. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Are usually pretty decent with the sex and also they're very careful to clean up after yeah and who is the other one kate oh i'd have to kill kate no way okay then i'll fuck kate and kill cameron because she's you know she doesn't know how to cook i feel like i might i might actually marry cameron because well no but she wouldn't cook a good meal none of them look at all her kitchen utensils ben you'd love that shit i would i would actually marry kate because uh well i i actually don't think she would keep the place clean because she doesn't like keeping her own place clean but maybe she would but the very least i think that she would make us good cocktails and then we'd

be shady about everyone all the time you know and i think i think car Caroline I wouldn't want to fuck Caroline because she'd probably be like Are we done yet? Alright, clear the sex, clear So I'd feel bad And then, so I think Cameron, yeah I guess you'd have to have sex with Cameron And then kill Caroline You know why I'd kill Caroline? Because I think she'd be okay

She'd be like, oh, I'm just done I'm over it, just kill me already I'd be happier in the grave. I've purchased eight other lives like a cat. Go ahead, make my day. Just come right back to life. You literally can't kill me.

So you can say you'll kill me and it's fine because I will not be dead. Rhaena would come in and just like kind of piece her all back together. Rhaena would take the bullet. Bad days, mom.

They're trying to kill you. All right, well, you know what to do. All right. Good day, mom. Yeah, yeah, kill you. All right, well, you know what to do. All right. Good day, Mom. Yeah, yeah, get on with it. You could never kill her because her assistants keep jumping in front too fast. That would be amazing. Valentina, Valentina, take the bullet, please.

All right, Mom. Valentina, please step into the cement and we can chuck you overboard. Okay, great. I wouldn't want to kill any of those people i would want to marry all of those people actually because kate would always be gone she's always out of town there's just like fresh money in the bank account but you don't know why or what she's doing i'm into that yeah i think it would be a great like it'd be great sister wife situation great you know what i think i would probably have to kill cameron because cameron would just i would make her crazy she'd be like you have a dirty room you know what that means about people

i mean that's that's bad you need to get it together what are you 40 with a dirty room i mean we need to have an intervention that's disgusting yeah she probably would do that but she would also be shady too because all three of these women are shady which i like but i think i'd be i think the shadiness i feel like – well, we've already been shady with Kate. And we know it works so well. Whereas I feel like with Caroline, at the end of the day, she would still make me feel bad about myself a little bit. Like we'd be shady, but then I would probably turn into jewels around her. And I think that I couldn't keep her around in a marriage.

Well, that's just balls. You don't like it? Well, because at a certain point, I'd realize that all this time I thought we were being around in a marriage. Balls, just balls. You don't like it? Well, because at a certain point, I'd realized that all this time, I thought we were being shady about other people, but Caroline was just being shady about me. She'd be like, I don't... Oh, no, go ahead.

No, I was just imagining her being like, oh, that person's just useless, more useless than you are. And I'd be like, yeah, I know, totally. And then eventually I'd be like, wait, everything comes back to comparison to me so that makes me like her more because i if i didn't have self-hatred i would never get anything done because i only do things because i'm like you're such a loser get out of bed so i get

out of bed oh and that would be supportive you know if someone was like you're such a loser get out of bed you know i wouldn't have to say it to myself every day i feel like i'd love myself more the more she hated me yeah that's true henrysa henrysa bassy asks says please please please re-give me your adrian maloof as the little mermaid singing part of your world it's my favorite watcher crappens moment and what disney character would bethany be thank you i truly love you and lauren grabowski uh comments commented to that and said bethany is Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh. So I guess we could do... Why don't we do some Adrian Maluf doing Little Mermaid, and then we'll go to what Disney character Bethany would be.

Okay. Why were we doing Adrian Maluf as the Little Mermaid? I don't remember half the shit. Isn't it rich? Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete paul my collection's complete why are you messing with my collection fucking idiot

what do you call him fox i don't know i don't know i don't know what you're calling paul jackpot get over here someday i'll run someday in the sun someday i'll play i mean what the i don't even know paul these lyrics are stupid get them off the screen you're useless part of your world except from now from what we know now she'd probably be standing over a crib like party your world i'm always dating a baby yeah and her collection is just nothing but hair tinsel. What do you call it? Hair tinsel? I love it. One day you'll talk.

One day you'll walk. And then you'll be too old so I'll kick you out of my house. Get the fuck out of here. I think that if Bethany were a Disney character, I imagine her being like a really annoying Princess Jasmine

being like what is this? pick me up in like a carpet I don't get it, like a magic carpet what about a horse? I'm used to horses I walk on carpets, why would I want to sit on it? it's gross, it's dusty, I don't get it

it's flying, I don't get this, what's happening here? what's carpet? I walk on carpets. Why would I want to sit on it? It's, like, gross. Like, it's dusty. Like, I don't get it. Like, it's flying. Like, I don't get this. Like, what's happening here? Like, what's this cave? Like, a genie? Like, who's genie? Like, why should I be friends with genie, too? Like, your friend comes in a lamp? Like, none of this makes sense.

Like, literally, like, kill me now. Like, just push me off the carpet. Like, I'll just die in the sand, like, right now. Lovely. I don't even date, like, fat guys. But, you know, like, I got to see this Eric Stone Street guy ride a carpet. Like, that's good. I'm on. I'm in. I'm in. You going to ride gonna write this carpet eric stone street go on take it up i dare you i

dare you oh you're doing it you're doing it i'm so proud of you elia it's amazing i never thought that would be possible i mean look at you you're fat and we're on a rug and it's it's racing like it i don't even know if it's magic if there's like anti-fat gravity in the world i don't even know what it is now how do we brand this like like like i don't get like it's it's like literally it's like it's like a whole new world like i don't i don't get it like why do i need to see a whole new world like i'm already a princess like i don't need another world like i'm in my own world like i have my world like i'm in my bubble like like you're taking me out of my bubble like this it's literally like a whole new world like i like these i don't get it like what like literally just kill me now like i i

don't like this world like if this is a whole new world i want to stay in my world i think she should be in frozen she should be elsa because i mean obviously there's like frigid jokes there but um i think it would just be funny to see bethany getting really mad and then building things with her hands like out of ice like big ice well i could well look at that it's like a huge house like i was homeless before now look at this like i was poor before but now i have ice homes you know what i mean well she would just basically yell let it go she would just go up to someone like louis and i'm like let it go let it go like literally literally let it like if you don't let it go like i'm gonna be in the snow just like frozen literally like like i'm first like i've got my walls up like i've got my ice walls up like i'm literally i'm in my

mountain like i know it's not the biggest i know it's not the biggest like ice castle but it's mine and i like it okay and there's like a little ice castle bar out in the back and it's not the biggest, like, ice castle, but it's mine, and I like it, okay? And there's, like, a little ice castle bar out in the back, and it's cute, okay? Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just, like, literally let it go. Let it go. She'd be talking to that little snowman guy, like, look here, little snowman guy. Like, you know what you got?

Like, an eating disorder. Like, seriously. Like, you're just totally browned. Like, every part of you is like a big ball. Like, you need to lose some weight, okay? Like, you've got a carrot. The only carrot you've ever seen in your life is on your nose. Like, you need to eat that. You know what I mean? Like, stop eating the ice cream and start eating the okay? Like, you've got a carrot. The only carrot you've ever seen in your life is on your nose. Like, you need to eat that.

You know what I mean? Like, stop eating the ice cream and start eating the carrots. Like, you're fat. Like, I don't want to build a snowman. Like, I'm sorry. Like, I don't want to. Okay? Like, you've been asking me for, like, 17 years.

Like, I haven't answered the door. Like, get the picture already. Like, I don't want to open a snowman. I want to build a snowman. Okay? Like, it's, like, too much. It's like snow. It's like I've done that.

I've been there. Okay? I don't need it. Like, I just want to, like, stay here. You know what I want to open a snowman. I want to build a snowman. Okay? Like, it's, like, too much. It's like snow. It's like I've done that. I've been there. Okay? I don't need it. Like, I just want to, like, stay here. You know what I want to do? I want to sit by the fire and drink a skinny girl hot cocoa. Okay? That's what I want to do.

All the snowmen would be dead. She'd be like, skinny snow cone. Skinny snow cone. You know what I want to do? I just want to have some reindeer meat. Okay? You know what? That stupid reindeer that follows you around? Like, let's just kill him and eat him, okay?

Enough. That Rudolph, like, sometimes I eat reindeer and I burp, and then sometimes I eat reindeer and I, like, fart out spots. Like, it's crazy. Like, what's happening? What's coming out of me? Like, it's disgusting. Literally just let it go.

Like, let it go. Just let it be. Like, why don't you be you and I'll be me? Okay, Ramona? You be you. I'll be me. Okay? Everything that's broke, just leave it go. Like, let it go. Just let it be. Like, why don't you be you and I'll be me? Okay, Ramona? You be you. I'll be me. Okay? Everything that's broke, just leave it to the breeze.

You just be you and I'll be me. Okay? It would come to the end, like the big note at the end, and she'd just be like, I'm not singing that note. But that note's too high. Like, what am I going to kill myself for this? It's a stupid cartoon. Like, I'm going back to bed.

Brent's probably already asleep right now. She can't even pay attention to all this. You know? She's, like, smart, but she's, like, baby smart. You know? Like, they don't know anything. They're idiots. You know? Like, she's not going to make it to the high note. I'm going back to bed. Brent's probably already asleep right now. She can't even pay attention to all this, you know? She's, like, smart, but she's, like, baby smart, you know? Like, they don't know anything. They're idiots, you know? Like, she's not going to make it to the high. No, I'm going to bed.

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going back to Florida, okay? Like, I want to go back to Florida. Like, it's too cold up here, okay? You know what? I'm going to Florida. And that way, like, I'm not going to freeze everyone, okay? Everyone can just calm the fuck down because it's going to be too hot.

So I'm not going to freeze you. So just everyone calm down. Let's go to Florida. We'll go to the races. It'll fine i'll have to have cocktails okay you know what it's fine it's great you know and i'm like you know i'm not gonna invite my sister you know what because i haven't seen her in a few months okay it's been like a few months i'm not inviting her no big deal that's it there's no big story about it that's it it's fine my sister wanted to come to the party with kyle like it's desperate it's disgusting like no it's like it's like i'm

not gonna no no it's like i'm in florida i'm in my happy place it's like it's like it's not about me like it's not my party it's like it's people are coming over it's like i don't know it's like, I'm not going to, no, no. It's like, I'm in Florida. I'm in my happy place. It's like, it's not about me. Like, it's not my party. It's like, people are coming over. It's like, I don't know. It's like, it's just enough. It's like, too much. It's like, it's desperate.

Like, it's weird. It's strange. It makes me feel strange. Okay? Like, enough. Like, literally, let it go. Let it go. Let it go.

My ass is tiny. Carol in the back. I like just inserting Carol into things that Bethany's in and nobody even knew carol was there by the way i'm just wondering my boyfriend's thinking in the next room i think i said this in the podcast the other day but i still because he's only hearing one side of this and it's just like craziness okay lauren green asks with all the stuff coming out about how the biggest loser is basically a torturous mindfuck of a competition that scars the participants and their metabolisms, there are contestants that were totally drinking the Kool-Aid team Biggest Loser who are suddenly changing their tune. What Bravo show or shows do you think has the most Stockholm Syndrome in its cast participants and will be subject to an expose think piece? Love you guys.

subject it and will be subject to an expose think piece love you guys you're getting me through my husband's deployment while staying at home with a two-year-old named benjamin and training for a half marathon also ben i went to the same high school as heather go quakers did you wait you went like heather went to you went to horace really heather went to a high school with quakers as a mascot that's the best thing i've ever heard but does that mean that you went uh lauren as i'm talking to you as if you're right here does that mean you went to horus really because we played you guys in sports um by the way so awesome thank you by the way for um for for that compliment saying that we're getting you through your husband's deployment i hope he comes home safe and sound yeah me too um so okay this question so it sounded

fake but i really do i don't know how to sound sincere i don't i never do it but for real yeah for real um so what bravo shows have the most stockholm syndrome as a catch participant and will be subject to an expose think piece oh my gosh um let's see big brother maybe no it has to be a bravo show oh oh a bravo show where people are are are drinking the kool-aid um well i think it would have to be probably I mean this is the most obvious answer obviously but it would have to be a housewives shows because those housewives think they're going on this show

and everything is going to be great from now on they're like I'm going to be famous I'm going to have this product and then I'm going to sell a zillion products and become the next skinny girl and then next thing they know they're divorced their children hate them no one will speak to them they're broke they're in bankruptcy someone kills himself i think um i think that uh it's it's watch what happens i think people go on they're really excited to go on to a talk show and they're

playing these games like hey whose penis is that and they afterwards they come off they're like what did i just do who drugged me that show is you know i've been watching new york city live the housewives of new york live uh because i don't want to wait for it to come out on cable because we do it so soon after it airs and so i've been watching it and um wow watch what happens i just keep it on and watch what watch what happens wow i mean it just it never ceases to astound me that show and i think you're right because people seem like they're so excited like look who we've got it's somebody from the kimmy schmidt show rhymed with jules and it never rhymes or whatever and then jules is there and they're acting all smiley that's one of those tv shows you know when you watch like telemundo or something yeah and you're acting all smiley. That's one of those TV shows. You know when you watch Telemundo or something?

Yeah. And you're like, how could shows possibly be this stupid? Because you don't understand what they're saying. Yeah, the clown comes on. Yeah, it's like the clown, the bumblebee clown from The Simpsons or whatever. But that's a real thing. And you just think, these are so stupid. I think that's what everybody thinks who doesn't know English.

Watch this. Watch what happens. What the fuck are we watching? Yeah, I think that's what everybody thinks who doesn't know English. Watch us watch what happens. What the fuck are we watching? Yeah, I think that's a really – that's true. I think that's the biggest case of Stockholm Syndrome is going on. Watch what happens. And you know what? By the way, if they ever asked us to go on as guest bartenders, we'd be like, yeah, sure.

We'd have a great time. This is so fun. And we'd be totally Stockholm Syndrome also. Yeah, we'd be those awkward bartenders and it'll never leave us alone like every time you search our names the only picture that will come up is us looking terrible behind the bar you know like at that awkward angle that everyone's at people always by the way people always ask me have you guys been on watch what happens have you guys have you guys been guest bartenders you guys should be guest bartenders

we've not been on watch what happens and it's not up to us to decide if we can be guest bartenders well we're fans of these shows obviously but um i don't think they are fans in the make fun of shit kind of a way not in the oh my god this is so great kind of a way i don't i mean they'd be stupid to have me on there they should have you like shirtless because you're all hot stuff no i i am not going shirtless on tv anytime soon i have like dad bod it's really unfortunate so that's hot that's why they're always cheating on their wives well the thing is it's funny people do always ask like do they know about your podcast is bravo no and i i'm pretty sure that bravo knows about us but we have we have this like weird unspoken relationship i I feel like, because they never send us one single press release, anything.

They don't send us a dime. They don't reach out to us at all, and I think it's because – I don't think they can because we make fun of their stars so much that if they were to send us stuff to whatever, to be like, hey, we love you guys, whatever. like send us stuff to whatever to sort of be to be like hey we love you guys whatever if they were to do that then they would have their stars potentially they could have their stars yelling at them being like why do you like why are you nice this podcast that like says the nastiest things to us so oh i don't even think they care about that stuff i think a lot of it like i've noticed in these reunions is andy just not one you know he asked he doesn't ask the important questions because you can't just it it would just end the reunion. Like, if you figured everything out, then there would be nothing to talk about, you know?

So he's just like, okay, well, you know, you just totally lied about that person right to everybody's face. Let's move on. Talk about implants. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so our last question of Cinco de Mayo is Karen Zarowitz. Karen, K-Zar, we love Karen. She made us pins. She says, Ronnie, now that The Good Wife is ending,

what will you watch as a salve for all the pain caused by the housewives? And then, besides games, what is your sanctuary? So, Ronnie, you can start. Well, I hate comparing this show to The Good Wife because they're nothing alike. But my new guilty pleasure is that Jennifer Lopez show. So I'm sure that's going to come back for 24 episodes next time. And I'll watch all of those instead. Because The Good Wife has only kind of been good the past couple of years anyway.

And I'm kind of ashamed watching it sometimes. I don't watch The Good Wife, but I can let you guys know that my parents are avid Good Wife watchers. I don't know, what are their fans called? Goodies, maybe? Good Wifeys? I don't know. So the latest report from my mother is, you know, The Good Wife, it's not very good anymore. We prefer Madam Secretary.

So, you know, I would like to suggest... Oh, Madam Secretary, never even thought of that i would like to suggest madam secretary because it is the preferred one hour drama in my parents household these days i read in the tv guide about that show one time you know just a little blurb about it and it was like madam secretary has an issue with the chinese prime minister in the russian food court of the Nicaraguan passport center. I'm like, this is ridiculous. Well, when I go home and I'm like, hey, mom and dad, I need to record something on the DVR for the podcast.

And they're like, well, what are you recording? I'm like, well, I got to watch like Real Housewives or whatever. Like what time? Like Sunday, probably eight o'clock. And they give me this look like, no, you're not. Madam Secretary's on then. I'm like, oh, sorry. My mom does that too when I go home. and they give me this look like uh no you're not madam secretary's on then like oh sorry my mom does that too when i go home she's like there are four lifetime movies all at the same

time i'm sorry we're recording all of them so that's like figure it out you better not get in the way of the madam secretary recording okay okay all right oh i've got to ask my mom about that it's like that's the line you know like when you go home your parents my parents are always like oh my god what do you want? What do you want? I'll make you breakfast. Can I do this? You better not get in the way of my Madam Secretary.

You better not. I turned into a teenager again. I'm like, you don't even support me. I know. Me too. Like just to get back at my mom, I subscribe to everything on her recorder in the room that I know she watches Lifetime on. I'm like like record all real housewives shows of all time thank you oh yeah i get really petulant i'm like yeah i don't even like tia leone which is a lie i love tia leone so anyway how can you not love tia leone ever

since flirting with disaster i've been just fully you know i i've i am i'm a fan for life because of flirting with disaster and i also like that her name is t because you know that's a lovely I'm a fan for life because of Flirting with Disaster. And I also like that her name is T because, you know, that's a lovely drink. It really is. Okay, and then for me, besides games, what is my sanctuary? Probably cooking. I love to cook. And before I became obsessed with board games, I was obsessed with cookbooks and cooking.

And I still get cookbooks. with cookbooks and cooking. And I still get cookbooks. I've just slowed down a little bit. But I love getting cookbooks. I love leafing through them. And I love thinking that I'm going to just cook so many things out of them and then I cook like one dish. But cooking makes me so, so, so happy.

I don't know why. I just really find it totally enjoyable. And it's like nice especially when something turns out nice and then you can share it with people like I know it sounds so cheesy

but like it's really fun to share the food that you've made you know yeah hell yeah so that's that's it

that's it for Cinco de Mayo I wish I had made a special Cinco de Mayo crap in the mailbag but instead we just Cinco de Mayo Crap in the Mail bag, but instead we just have... Cinco de Bio. Crap in the Mail bag. Crap in the Mail bag.

Okay, so shall we begin with some Real Housewives of New York City? Sure, let's do it. Let's do it. Okay, okay. Oh my God this show hilarious so funny so funny so many of my notes are just lol hahaha lol

hahaha like I need to remind myself that I laughed yeah exactly I was like the entire time so I mean it starts off in this I'm already laughing because it's Bethany in her apartment and Cookie is barking. And she's like, how can I help you? How can I help you?

I was like, oh, gosh. At the end of that scene, she's like, the dog's still barking. And she's like, let me live. Okay. Like, let me live. Seriously. Everyone with a dog understands that. It's like a constant look of pity.

They need your pity all day seriously death by cookie death by cookie let me live i was laughing even before this because as usual i noticed something new in the in the opening i've heard ramona's tagline what five times now four or five times but still i never noticed that it was kind of like the opposite of the rain in Spain. It's like, loycafoyn, woin. Loycafoyn, get better with time. Jesus Christ. Did someone tell her, get a thicker accent just for the beginning. We need people to understand this is in New York.

Loycafoyn, woin. Loycafoyn, get better with time, okay? My thing that I noticed this week was the way Dorinda holds her apple when they're all standing together during the interstitials, like when it cuts to break and it shows the whole lineup holding their apples. Dorinda has the most awkward high school yearbook pose going on. I almost want to take a picture of it because she just stands there with her head cocked in a strange way with a strange smile,

like, here I am holding an apple holding an apple come on back it up back it up back up the camera they should just have Dorinda holding an apple martini seriously she'd be shouting everyone's smiling and she's shouting at the camera alright

you know what it's my fucking business if I want to date John, okay, photographer? Bethany's opening scene, I guess she's still not allowed to shoot with the kid because of her divorce. So now instead of shooting for the kid, we get to see her just talking about her kid while she packs for the kid.

And it's already hilarious because you can imagine this baby Bethany. She's like, this baby's just like me. She's just like me. I can't help it but you know like like she likes to pick things and you know she's very in control but i don't deal with terrorists so i send her pictures of clothes and then she can choose like here's your choice you can have this and this and this you know what i mean like so she's already learned choice she's already learned this like she's kind of difficult like should i pack a purse for her like what should what should I do for her? Oh, I love this. Like, oh my God. This little girl is going to be fucking awful.

It is going to be, like, the worst. It'll be like some demented version of Curly Sue. That's what I think it's going to be. But she, it's funny because Bethany's like, yeah, Brynn does carry on now. I mean, she's just like me. She does carry on now. Like, literally, she packs her own bag. Like, literally, kill me now.

Like, she knows how to do a bag. Like, it's crazy. Like, she likes to pack her own thing. Like, she goes kill me now. Like, she knows how to do a bag. Like, it's crazy. Like, she likes to pack her own thing. Like, she goes on the rollerboard. Little rollerboard. Little girl. Little executive girl. It's crazy.

Like, literally, kill me now. Like, literally, if I have to pack another bag for her, I'll be on the floor. I'll be in the middle of her big rug, okay? And, you know, I'll be dead. I'll be dead on the rug. The little kid is in school calling people alcoholics. Yeah. It's like, you have a problem, okay?

Like, that's a serious problem with you, okay? Like, I don't even know what to say to you. Like, look at you. Your walk is so funny. Like, who taught you to walk? Like, that's a serious problem with you, okay? Like, I don't even know what to say to you. Like, look at you. Your walk is so funny. Like, who taught you to walk? Like, what, you pooped in your pants? Like, what, do you have a problem? Like, who does that? Like, who poops in their pants? Disgusting. What's the matter? What's going on? You know, this classroom, like, what,

is it doing renovations? It's just because, you know what, the education system is just a lot of money. You just have to, where's the paper? I don't have paper and pencils. Like, literally, like, what's going on here? Like, I don't get it. Like, what sort of school is this? Is this, like, new education? Like, I'm getting graded with an animal. Like, what, is that an A? Is that a B? I don't have paper and pencils. Literally, what's going on here? I don't get it. What sort of school is this? Is this new education? I'm getting graded with an animal. Is that an A? Is that a B? I don't get it. What's a butterfly?

Is that a B? Am I average? You say, okay, fine, I'm average. I get it. I'm a bracing little girl. I get it. What are you, putting red box through my answers? Red box through my answers? What is that? What is that? Who does that? Those are my answers. How dare you? Who does that? Get your own answers. If, how dare you? Like, who does that?

Like, get your own answers. Like, if you want your own answers, like, do your own tests. Like, why are you taking mine? What, are you going to assign your name Brynn to everything now? Like, what are you? What are you, teacher? Like, copycat. Like, get your own life.

Get your own test. Like, see Dick run? Like, why am I reading this book? Like, I don't get it. Like, I don't care about Dick. I don't care what Dick and Jane are doing. Like, who are they? Like, what do they mean to me?

Like, are they, like, lovers? Like, friends? Like, I don't get this relationship. They just, like, run and go places and, like, talk. Like, what what do they mean to me like are they like are they like lovers they're like friends like like i don't get this relationship they just like run and go places and like talk like like i need more like i need i need more substance okay like it's just i don't get it a little brim little brim the fucking nightmare yeah and the funny thing is that bethany is talking about her and she's like you know she's she's in the she's in the pink wheelhouse but she's not over the tophouse, but she's not over the top. I'm like, she's not over the top. Her entire room is pink.

Every single thing in that room is pink except for the, what do you call those rugs? Those shag rugs. Everything is pink, which by the way. She's got like a fucking coral reef that's pink. Yeah. It's like I actually really, I have a pet peeve. I don't like when parents like hardcore code their children from birth. Like, okay, you're a little girl, so you're going to get a pink room and everything in it is pink.

And the girl grows up and is like, I love pink. It's just like it makes me feel girly. Same with a boy. It has to be all blue. It's a thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a little thing.

I don't like when the kids are programmed like that. Let them choose their own colors. I don't even know if it's the kids doing it. I have to say, I mean, I don't know if it's the parents doing it. I think that there's something weirdly natural about little girls loving two little girl nieces. And those girls came out like wanting pink. Because it used to be pink was the boy color and blue was the girl color, I believe. Really?

Yeah, it changed like around World War I or something. I wonder the world has gone so fucking crazy. When my gay friend had a baby with the lesbians and we had the baby shower, we were planning it. And we were like, what should the colors be? I said, well, it's a boy and this house is kind of a light blue color. So why don't we just do like cream and light blue? It'll look so nice. And she's like, you know, I really don't want to imprint that on the baby because who knows what sex it's going to be.

I said, it's a boy. And she said, yeah, but sex and gender are different because who knows what sex is going to be i said it's a boy and she said yeah but sex and gender are different so what gender is it going to be and i was like how would you let the baby decide like you have to at least be you know old enough to talk besides you before you decide you're going to become a woman like come on exactly and then and the thing is also like it's weird i mean i i don't feel as strongly about it with boys in blue and it's not me being sexist it's more just that like it's like reverse sexist because you know there's so many girls who i mean it's fine if you're a woman you like pink that's fine but i just feel like there are certain sometimes i feel like girls just told you have to like this and then they therefore

like it and i just i don't know i feel like i feel like women are women already have or get socialized in so many ways that's like where they are on like the losing end of a situation that it's just like like i'm like i don't know i have these weird moments where i'm like don't do that i don't know meanwhile all our audience for all women i know yeah just just what you need a gay man while you're like pissing off everybody who's ever supported exactly like exactly like all of our listeners who are like like pink i're like pissing off everybody who's ever supported breast cancer research. Exactly. Like all of our listeners who are like pink. I'm like shaming them all.

It's not that I'm shaming you like liking pink. It's just that sometimes I feel like, you know. All I'm saying is that the Susan Comet Foundation is sexist. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It should be brown. Why does breast cancer have to like pink?

I'll just. I'm just going to stop myself Because I think I'm not making a good case And I think I'm just making myself look like an entitled jackass instead I'm sorry No, case made I mean, girls do have pink I like it as a benchmark to know when somebody has claimed their own brain

Because there comes a point where girls are like No, I really don't want pink, mom Everything's fucking pink in here. I want black, and I want to grow my nails really long and stop trimming my nose hairs. I mean, I'm loving it. You can see now it was part of our childhood. You know when they get their own mom,

and they're like, I don't need your pink anymore. Mother! We just want your children to be like little Darius. That's all. Daria, Daria. I've got a friend named Daria, and now I'm saying Daria, but Daria. And now I'm saying Daria. But Daria.

Where in the world is Daria? Who cares? Ramona's missing too. Okay. Okay. So now we move up to Dorinda. Dorinda having tapas with Carol. Thank you, Bravo, for whatever meeting you guys had over there that you decided to just have normal, overweight, nice waiters.

I don't know what's happening over there, but so many on these shows now. Like, I haven't hated a waiter in months. Yeah. Well, because I think that waiters are getting progressively more fearful of the people on Bravo. It used to be that they want to have their big moment. I have a note somewhere around here, like this waiter looks terrified. I think it was when Bethany and Jules went to lunch

and the waitress was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I'm not making any tips off this table. They're both ordering sides. Yeah, exactly. So Carol and Dorinda are chatting. And what's funny is Carol's talking about how she lost her phone she's like yeah i

lost my phone and there was a sexy pic of adam as the screensaver uh which of course anyone who's listened to this podcast knows our role in that yeah we had no role except that somebody sent it to us and now we've got it saved on i swear to god 10 different watch what crap is hard drives they're all over the place you will never get it from me. So basically what happened was that one of our listeners found the phone. And they, I don't know if they ever gave it back or whatever. Before they did, they were like, oh my God, it's open. And Carol even said that.

And they went through and they found a dick pic of Adam and sent it to us. So when Carol said there was no dick pic, notice that she said, I did not save a dick pic as my screensaver. It's like, that's right. She did not. But there is a full nude photo. And we have it. But we never put it out there. It's black and white.

There's a filter. It's not a dick pic. So, yeah. But also, who does this? It was still a lot of questions. How does she not have a password? It's not really that hot. It's like he walks into a hotel bathroom.

It looks like a hotel lobby bathroom, a trendy bathroom. And he whips off his clothes and takes a picture in the bathroom mirror. He does not trim his pubic hair at all. It's like a big glorious fro. And I don't know. He looks stinky. He doesn't take a bath or trim his hair. I think it's a good pic. If it were to get leaked,

I don't think there's anything that he would be embarrassed for. But we're not going to be the ones that leak it though. No. At the time we were even saying, this is so sad. No one's even asking to see this picture. And if anybody has published it, which I'm sure they had because the person who sent it to us, you know, is connected. So I'm sure that they were like, anybody want to buy this? And nobody did.

Even if they printed it, nobody even talked about it. I felt so bad. Yeah. So when Dorinda goes, someone got a nice pic, I was like, yeah, that was us. We're the ones. We were the ones Dorinda was talking about. We got the nice pic. It like yeah that was us we're the ones we were the ones dorinda was talking about we got the nice saved all over my computer like some fucking weirdo pervert i'm not even looking at it like that it just feels like an artifact that is so watch what crap and i have

to keep it forever you know the thing is this when you're a gay male if you've ever been on grinder you've you know these sort of pics just sort of come through you know yeah if you have grinder you've already seen a lot of celebrity dicks it's actually true um show them a lot and there's like a code like in general i think most people are respectful they don't send them around so anyway um so then well this is the kind of culture i'm so sorry because this is rambling but just i have to say this because I haven't told anybody. But right down the street in front of the Whole Foods, there's this billboard. And usually it's like HIV month, you know, and it's like HIV prevention.

And it's all these gay guys of different colors supporting HIV prevention and this and that. Right now, I just looked at the new billboard and it's for something called squirt it's an app called squirt it's a fucking app for gay guys it's like you guys make up your mind are we preventing hiv or do we want everybody to fuck because i think that's the same place that um they had that billboard like grinder chlamydia yeah that got in trouble or syphilis explosion remember syphilis explosion yeah it was a volcano and it or syphilis explosion remember syphilis explosion it was a volcano and it said syphilis explosion and everyone driving by was like what the hell is going on and now it's like okay fuck each other again okay we've got two more months of indiscriminate fucking before we guilt you all into getting aids well there's this one app called

vgl which started following me on Twitter and they're basically like Grindr except they're not even trying to be like, it's a way to meet friends. If you go on their Twitter feed, it's all just like little GIFs and videos of just like hardcore gay porn. It's like, they're like, yeah, go and like have sex

and use our app to do it. I was like, oh, geez. Class it up, gay people. Yeah. it i was like oh geez class it up gay people yeah so anyway speaking of classing it up so dorinda and carol are like are talking and they're talking about the brunch that jules had in the hamptons which did you ever get to do you ever watch that by the way yes i watched the end of it last night it was replaying okay good so they're talking about that and how it was so awkward and and carol's like wow i feel like we were big being girls or whatever and then they're talking and then carol is explaining how

like she basically it was kind of funny carol's like can we just gossip which was sort of nice because normally she doesn't just full-on do that so it's sort of funny that she's like listen we have to talk about that house that house is crazy that is a crazy house there's like it's been under construction and there's no equipment anywhere. There's not even a piece of lumber, and they're building an indoor pool, and it's just so huge. And then I love Dorinda's like, well, you know, they have a ton of kids, so they need a big house. And Carol's like, they have two kids. Don't they just have two kids?

Well, they want you. Yeah, they want you. So luckily, we'll have a bunch of kids, so that's why I'm mad. Oh, and your happiness. There's different kinds of houses,, we'll have a bunch of kids. So that's why I'm mad. Oh, and, you know, happiness. Like, there's different kinds of houses, okay? There's, like, your kind of house. And then, like, you know, like, Bethany has her kind of house. Like, everybody has their own kind of house.

Sometimes you take out your house crayon and you just draw a different house. That's just the way the houses go. And they were talking about how awkward it was. And Carol's like, I was the only one who ate. I ate. Well, you too. But, like, I was the only one who ate. I ate. Well, you too. But, like, we're the only people who ate schmears.

Well, and John. Well, maybe that's why it was awkward, because John and Bethany, you know? And she's like, no, John is not a panacea for every problem, okay? I'll tell you that right now. John is not a panacea, all right? Like, someone got pregnant. i must have done maybe john got someone pregnant look someone got run over in the streets probably john is that even the right use of panacea i think isn't panacea supposed to be the thing that isn't a cure for everything

right i feel like it's um something you make bread in i that's I think you're just thinking of Panera Bread. But panacea is like, I think it's just a cure for everything. In which case, she's right. John is definitely not a panacea for everything. He's not.

I'm going to look it up right now. You know me. I'm always good for looking something up. Unless your illness is breathing too well while you sleep, John's not the cure, okay?

Because if you sleep with John and sleep right on top of you, you think you're going to die. Otherwise, the panacea. Panacea is a solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases. No, no. He is not the panacea. He is definitely not the panacea. I know what she was trying to say. Like, you can't blame everything on him.

But the thing was that she took this stance, which, by the way, backs up Bethany's continued point that she's always trying to say like you can't blame everything on him but but the thing was that she took this stance which by the way backs up bethany's continued point that she's always trying to sell john because because all that carol said was well you know because bethany and john there was awkwardness and during is like now you can't blame it on john it's like actually this is something you really can this is like even if maybe he may you can even say sure it's not his fault but yes the awkwardness was because of John, because John and Bethany were there in the same room. Yes. And then she's like, you know, I'm yelling at you.

I'm calling you John. That's what you get now. Now, John. Hey, hey, you know, what's very good about me is that I'm linear, you know, I'm linear. So it's like, what, what does that have to do with anything? I'm linear. So that, you know, you tell me one thing and then I move on. That's what linear things do. You know, I move on. I move linear. So it's like, what does that have to do with anything? I'm linear. So, you know, you tell me one thing and then I move on. That's what linear things do.

You know, I move on. I move forward. I make a decision and the decision I made was just not a panacea. All right. Tell your friends. Yeah. Tell your friends. I'm in a linear panacea.

I'm drawing my panacea. But it's only a one line because I've got a chaos crayon. You know, it's a balloon. Red balloon. I love that everybody on this show is just fucking nuts they have Jules come meet them Jules comes in and Carol's like sorry about brunch I feel like we were rude

mean girls oh thank you for that because like it was weird but like this Bethany girl like I'm having a hard time getting a favorable impression of this girl because like what's wrong with her is she rude is she condescending is she abrupt i'm like yes yes yes yes yes well i was also i was just like laughing because carol was going in so much on jewels and their house and everything and then

all of a sudden jewels just walks in i was like wait what jewel jewels is actually attending this lunch like the way she was talking was like okay okay, now that we're away from Jules, but she, she was fully going in and then Jules just sits down with him. I couldn't believe it. But my favorite part was that when Jules was impersonating, but not that she was impersonating Bethany, but she was like, Hey, you know, I would, I would never go over to Bethany's small house and say, what is this? The center for ants i was like is that is that like your best is that like your best this is like andrea from melbourne hey your house is so small it's like the center for ants good one jules why is everybody in your house carrying things that weigh like a hundred more times than they do it's's crazy. You know, hey, you know what I call this restaurant?

A food emporium. Get it? Because there's a supermarket called Food Emporium. And they have food. I love that Jules' dances are all about shit that she didn't do herself. Like, Bethany doesn't have, you know, Bethany's alone. Okay, wow, someone married you. That's amazing. Bethany is new money. Oh, okay, so you have – Bethany is alone. Okay, wow. Someone married you. That's amazing.

Bethany is new money. Oh, okay. So you have your husband's old money. Like what are you bragging about? Well, it's funny. She's like, Bethany is new money. We're old money. I'm like, wait.

Wait. Excuse me. Bethany is new money, yes. But I'm sorry. Maybe your husband has old money but you are certainly not acting like old money. I have not seen old money building a giant indoor swimming pool in the breakfast nook. Okay? Like, you are not.

Especially when you're constantly bragging about how your house is so much bigger than Bethany's. That is not old money. That is not an old money move. I'm literally saying I have old money. Like, I have a dollar bill from when I was a kid and this fanny pack I used to wear because I'm Asian. It's actually an Asian dollar. It's an Asian dollar. I got it when I went to Japan.

Like Bethany, like her people are going to say, wow, Bethany invented like a margarita that was already invented. My people say we invented soy sauce. So a good, good one yeah and then then dorinda's saying that jules and bethany could be friends she's like hey if jules is willing to peel the onion there's a friendship there i'm like you know that there's nothing in the center of an onion you just peel and peel and peel and then it goes away right it makes you cry and it stinks it makes you cry and it leaves you with nothing it actually it's still an ingredient

in every bravo show yes bethany's everywhere but she just stinks and makes you cry and gives you stinky farts um this whole thing was cracking me up because jules is like terrified of bethany but she keeps making all these comments that bethany's gonna jump all over all over her for later like the new money and stuff and she's like i mean like i do want to talk to her but like you know like we're so different like she's new money i'm old money like she talks fast you know i i don't want to talk fast i want to talk slow you know like i i'm i'm smart i pretend i'm not smart so people think i'm stupid because like it's easier but like i don't want like, unleash my smartness on Beth.

What are you even talking about? You fucking moron. I guarantee this is what's going to happen at the reunion. That Beth is going to say, like, so you said this, like, new money and old money. Like, you're not old money. You're new money, too. Well, you know, I was angry when I said that. All right.

So, yeah, no. Okay, fine. I'm over it. Okay. Okay, great. That's what's going to happen. Every single one of these things, Beth will jump over and be like, okay, whatever. I'm over it. Like, I don't care what's going to happen. Every single one of these things, Bethany will jump over and be like, okay, whatever. I'm over it. I don't care.

She was on Watch What Happens Live and Andy was like, so who do you think, you know, I forgot the question. I think it was like, who do you think is the biggest alky in all of your who do you think parties the most? Which is basically, who do you think is the biggest alky? And she's like, oh,

well, you know know we all like to have fun and go to parties like okay thanks for coming by jules yeah that means dorinda because otherwise she would have named everyone else so um so then we move over to sonia sonia is wearing her like pirate business lady outfit which is one of my favorites yes and uh she's there with an intern she's like oh my god a dog pooped a dog pooped oh i hate when he gets on your fingers don't you hate that okay ding dong and then she goes to hug ramona with the dog poop on her fingers exactly so ramona comes in she's like here are my notaroys of divorce papers you want to see my notaroys of divorce papers here they are notaroys you ever gotten anything Notarized before?

Then Sonia Trying to read it with her little squint She's like what is this Sodomized? What is that in your paper? Sodomized? Like yeah Sonia We get it you like it up the butt still okay And you own a business because you're in a business suit Meanwhile the poor intern is back there Still smelling dog shit on her like

Record computer with a label on it She's like hey hey, scan this in into computer number three using scanner number two, okay? Oh, they're both broken? Okay, well, what can you do? Okay. Call Pickles. She'll draw it out. Tell Pickles to go pick up a projector. We can put this on

the wall so we can read it, okay? You know what these papers say? They say, Ramona, you tried your best, but it's not gonna work, so stop sodomizing Mario while he's sleeping, and get out of the house. You're a new Ramona. And then they stamped it, Ramona new. You know, it's like it's backwards, but that's how they do it now, because it's new.

You know what these papers say? They say you're renewed, and now it's notarized. I'm notarized and renewed. I've got a witness to my renewal, okay? I'm sorry. Just give that to the new intern to facts okay ramona like we call her paperweight you know like she's got a weight problem but she also likes to eat paper like it's crazy so um so ramona and sonia are chatting and sonia starts

off with like that well you know i couldn't go to bethany's this weekend because i have to pick up my daughter and then ramona's like oh well you know the reason you couldn't go to Bethany's this weekend because I had to pick up my daughter. And then Ron was like, oh, well, you know, the reason that you couldn't was because you weren't invited. Let's just call a spade a spade, okay? Okay? And Sonia's like, oh. She's like, yeah, well, you know, you drink too much.

And Bethany said you'll make a scene. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry you drink too much. I love Sonia. She's like, I wasn't invited? She didn't know there were formal invitations. I wasn't invited? No one told me I wasn't invited.

What kind of interns do I have that don't tell me when I'm not invited to things? I know. And so then Ramona sort of starts up with like this intervention. She's like, you know, you drink too much. I've seen you have to be propped up. Okay. And it's difficult. And I'm single now.

And, you know, I wasn't totally truthful with you. You know, I really didn't want to have this conversation. I wasn't totally truthful with you. The reason why I distanced myself is because I'm single now. I'm trying to get out there. You're making your first impression and whoever you're hanging out with is what people think of you. I just couldn't be around you.

I said, this bitch over here, I've spent 15 years having to explain why I'm friends with you and now you're embarrassed of me? I love that New York is taking every dramatic plot line and just redoing it as a comedy. Because this was the best intervention I've ever seen in my life. Me too.

Because the music. I feel that you're a drunk. And, like, it's disgusting. Because, like, I had to pick you up off the floor. Like, I had to hold you up. Like, people are, like, gross. And I'm single now. And people judge you by, like, who you keep company with.

And so I go. And, like like I keep company with a Rolex now. Like because I want people to think like I'm new and golden and classic. Okay. You're like throwing up on the floor. And Sony doesn't even care. She's just like whatever. Like we all fall down. So what?

Well, the funny thing was that the entire time the music was not even this serious music. It was like it had a peppy beat and had like a vibraphone play like dude i think you drink too much i think you have a problem i think you gotta cut it i think you gotta cut back and he's like i've had to hold you up before was it pills drink mixing with pills is it drinks and pills is it cocaine is it heroin And she's like, yes. But, like, everybody does it. She's like, no. No, they don't. Like, I'm telling you because I, like, really care about you.

And so I have to tell you right now, you're a drunk. And she's like, whatever, Ramona. Sometimes I'm a drunk. Sometimes I'm not. Like, if you want to come get fucked up, then come get fucked up. If you don't, don't. Well, I'm telling you right now, I don't. Okay? Because you have a problem.

And then Sonya's just like, well, listen listen you know what uh luann's moving in and everyone goes oh boy oh boy i just love that luann now has just become such like a sloppy mess to these women you know you used to bet way back when the win was the classiest of them all and now she's actually she's the one who they don't even try to fix they're just like whatever she is just a sloppy mess she'll come at five in the morning she'll leave they're like she's gonna leave bottles all around she'll leave bottles all around semen on the floor you know you got to be careful around the. She's just like a sloven mess now. But they're like, but she can hold a liquor.

I love that this is going to be a storyline. Luann living with Sonia. This is the best thing that's ever happened on this show. Exactly. And then finally this intervention ends with Ruan's like, you know what? Just cool it. Just cool it. All right, I'll cool it.

Okay. All right. Sounds good. Okay. Moving on. Good right, I'll cool it. Okay. All right. Sounds good. Okay. Moving on. Good talk, okay? I know. So next is Carol and Adam.

I literally got up and chopped a vegetable. I'm not watching this scene. Oh, my God. Adam is in Ethiopia filming Doctors Without Borders. Oh, my God. Am I jealous that he's in Ethiopia instead of me? Yeah. But, you Oh, my God. Am I jealous that he's in Ethiopia instead of me? Yeah. But, you know, I understand.

Like, there's four more summers and then I'll be dead. He just has a thing for starving people. That's all. Whether it's me or Ethiopia. I don't get to go to Nicaragua to take selfies anymore. Now I just take it with homeless people, you know, protesting Wall Street. I'm a hippie at home. Hippie at home.

I never thought I would be jealous. I'd be pining for the days when he was merely in Nicaragua harvesting honey. But now he's in Ethiopia. Oh, God. It's so pretentious. While the storyline is people who are too skinny. Yeah, exactly. That's the best part.

Speaking of which, we have a skinny summit as Jules and Bethany go to lunch. This is where the waitress looked the most scared. She's like, oh, no, oh, no, Bethany Frankel. Yes. So they go to lunch, and Jules is like, what's the deal with every place having kale salad? Like, even my favorite Chinese restaurant, Indochina, you ever go there? It's my favorite Asian restaurant. It really speaks to me because I'm Asian.

You know, even they have a kale salad like what's up with that bethany laughing in her face she's like oh god agent okay okay like there you go okay i'll laugh at that and then bethany trying to over order to prove that she eats she's like okay you know what i'll have an avocado on the side you know what also i'll do the kale salad okay because like i can have kale and avocado like i'm gonna go go crazy. It's going to be nuts, okay? Oh, pinching. So then Jules is trying to confront Bethany, but Jules is actually very much like me,

which is she's uneasy with confrontation and therefore starts talking in an indirect, tangential way with stutters and stammers. She's like, well, I just kind of feel like, you know, something's weird. You know, like you came in and then like, I don't know, you're talking and like, I, I just kind of feel like, you know, something's weird, you know, like you came in and then like, I don't know, you're talking and like, I don't know, like I've just been like, it's a brunch, there were bagels,

and there was a schmear, and you didn't have a schmear, and then there was like Jonathan's there, and then like, you know, like, you know, they start saying things about the house, and then it's like, what are you trying to say, huh? What are you saying? You don't have to be scared. Like what, you want me to send you some choices of some things to say? Okay, open your iPhoto.

I've written down three things to say. Just choose one. You know, just choose one. I don't speak charades. Like, what are you doing? I don't speak scrabble. You know, like, mix the letters, make words, and say them. Say the words. She's like, well, you know, I just feel like, then that's when Bethany's like, okay, so you feel like I'm abrasive, and I was rude,

and I was a mean girl, and I came in too quickly, and left too quickly, and I made fun of your house, and I'm a bitch for that. Okay, sure. She's like, yeah, just what you said. You're right, you're right. You know, you said that very well. She full-on Mauricio'd,

she full-on Mauricio'd Jules as Camille. So how sad that we're going to be celebrating Camille. Somebody else's, yeah, on the same day that we hear about

our friend's split. So upsetting. I know. Don't worry, Camille. I'll just take the sentence from here. Bethany. I'm like the lawyer, okay? I'm like Jules' lawyer in the case against Bethany Frankel.

Like, I'm arguing against myself. Like, you're rude, you're abrasive. Like, there, there, I can take that. You know, like guilty. There, I'm guilty. Like, I'm charged. I'm guilty. I'm going to jail. Like, i gonna do yeah so then out of nowhere

jules opens up about the fact that she had an eating disorder in college she's like yeah i had it all anything you guessed it i'll throw up don't eat do whatever like i had it all and so then me being all sensitive what'd you throw up like did you throw up did you not eat was it fingernails did you give yourself a tapeworm? You ever do that? Like, I knew girls who would, like, swallow tapeworms. Like, you look like them. Did you do that? Did you throw up the tapeworm?

They would literally, they would not only swallow actual tapeworms, but they would actually make tape in the shape of a worm and eat that to make sure they could throw up also. Like, literally, it's crazy. They would, like, glue the pieces of toast together in the stomach, and then, like, they couldn't even throw it up. It would, like, become a big blockade. And, you know, girls thought like that. become a big blockade. And you know, girls thought like that. You're not dead.

So, you know, good for you. So then Bethany starts crying, which is like, you know, my mother, you know,

I was like, it's like eggshells around my mother, you know? And then like Jules is crying and they're both crying and they're bonding. It was actually a nice scene, a nice moment. And they're like, they're really like getting deep.

And then they start telling us, you know, Bethany's like, I really respect her for telling me that. I really respect that. Some girls will never admit it. Some girls will never say it, but she really admitted it to me. And then Jules was like, you know,hany's like i really respect her for telling me that i really respect that some girls will never admit it some girls will never say it but she really admitted to me and then jules is like you know i really felt like i could bond with her and like i feel like i understood i was really wonderful and like yeah yeah we're bounding we're

bonding we're bonding and then she's like jules like so what kind of guys do you like like you're gonna follow that up you're gonna follow up eating disorder with hey i met a greek air that you would like yeah because a feta cheese i love that it all ended with a feta joke like all of this eating disorder she's like yeah well i like feta cheese yeah good good guys i'm worried for jules though because first of all bethany what a hypocrite she's like some girls they never talk about that but you know like this girl she talked about it like i would never say it because like that's not my secret to share really because you've been talking about what an anorexic she is and how she's sick and you're going to confront her about an illness thanks for noticing that

you're a complete asshole and we're going to do that this is not my secret to tell meanwhile the conversations had on tv you know and i'm also worried for jewels because bethany hates her mother and bethany's mother hates her mother and Bethany's mother hates her. And Bethany's like, I totally get it because my mom, like, we'd go to parties and I'd, like, have to, like, run to the guest bathroom to make sure my mom didn't, you know, clog it up with all her buff. Like, it was disgusting. Like, I totally get it, Jules. Like, wow, what a bonding moment. So now every time she looks at Jules, she's going to be, like, running to the bathroom to make sure.

Oh, my God. Well, that's actually probably the reason why she had such a negative reaction to Jules at first. Because it probably reminded her of a mother. So, you know. And, of course, it's also because Jules is kind of annoying, too. And fucking obnoxious. She's like, my mother liked fanny packs, too. It's all coming together now. Hey, you know what they call fanny packs?

Bags for your waist, huh? Right? Get it? Nice bag for your waist. What is Right? Get it? Nice bag for your waist. What is this? The Center for Ants? Is this the Center for Ants with your small house? Hey.

Hey, ants. You looking for some place to go meet up and watch movies and stuff? Why don't you go to Bethany's house? It's big enough for you, huh? Get it? Center for Ants. Center for Ants. Ants won't come to my house because we have them into a pool and they're afraid to drown.

Hey, we're like the stadium for ants. You know what I'm saying? We have old money ants. They like take their time to build their castles, you know. We actually have five anthills in the pool. We had some old school ants carrying some watermelon into the house from the garage i swear to you it took seven years like just so old money ants okay so um then the next scene carol i love this because the scene opens up with bethany and

ramona like fixing some salad and sitting at a table and immediately bethany's like what's the table what's up with the table it's like it's like i'm on a ride it's like it's like a roller coaster like literally like i want to get up the road like where's the safety bar like what i hold on to like like what's going on like is this a scramble like i don't like i don't get it like i don't get what's going on like i feel like i'm on a ride but i'm like not moving like what's going on this is like if this is amusement park i'm not feeling amused you know i'm saying like i like literally like if i have to ask another question about this ride like my walls my wall is up literally my wall is up like literally like kill me now like i hope this ride goes off the rails because I'm about to die.

Like, Six Flags, great adventure. What am I supposed to eat lunch at this table? Like, this table is ridiculous. Like, the lunch is going to slide to the end of this table. I'm not going to be able to eat it. Is Jules coming? Because it's, like, a perfect table for Jules. This is like a Sonya table, okay?

It's on its last leg. That was the best. Yeah, it's its last leg. It's one leg. It's, like, literally, like, Six Flags, great adventure. This is not a great adventure. This is like a terrible adventure. This is like the worst adventure I've ever been in.

Like six. It's more like more like one flag. And that's what the table's on. One flag. One flagpole. Literally kill me now. Like literally like I don't get it. I don't get what show table is this.

And then Carol comes late, of course. Like sorry I was late. Yeah. It took a long time to walk up the stairs from the taxi. She's like yep. She's on CPT time. Carol people time. Okay.

I was like, ooh. So this is one of my favorite parts of the episode, was learning about the recent Bethany Luan beef. So Bethany was mad, has been annoyed at Luan, because over the summer, she's like, my friend Kyle came to visit. I was like, Kyle. And then it's like, oh, yeah, Kyle. And when on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, when Kyle and the whole gang went over to Bethany's house, you know, during the Hamptons trip, the famous Hamptons trip, which we saw on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Luann wanted to be there. She totally wanted to be on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and she wanted to, you know, be in front of the cameras and everything.

And Bethany kind of was like, no. And she had this whole thing of like, well, it's not my party. Like, I can't invite you. It's not my party. Of course, Bethany could have invited her, but she didn't want to, you know? Yeah.

But I love this because I think this is the first time we ever had an official crossover, like official episode crossover, right? We've had people from the shows crossover, like Brandy came on New York City once. And obviously Bethany was on Beverly Hills. But this is the first time where something happened on a different show that is directly affecting this show. Yeah, I think it is. It was sad. Bethany's such a bitch. Why wouldn't you let her come? Maybe she

just felt like she would have to invite everybody. Yeah. But still, Luanne is, like, begging to come. It's like, nope, not my party. Can't come. Can't come. And then she was telling me things like, don't be all uncool. You know, like, whatever with that. Like, you didn't invent the word cool, okay? You can't come and then she was telling me things like don't be all uncool you know like whatever with that like you didn't invent the word cool okay you can't come i can't even imagine luanne and lisa vanderpump like it doesn't seem to match in my world it doesn't work

you know i think they like each other they probably do but it's just it's funny because they're just in such different spheres in my in my brain that i just can't imagine i just can't imagine the crossover i think think Vanderpump would really like her. She'd be like, you naughty girl. Yeah. You had sex with three men in the restroom, you naughty girl. Yeah, she probably would be.

It's funny because there was a time when I would have thought that Luanne would have been maybe even like above Vanderpump in terms of classiness. But now I feel like actually Luanne is like below, like, above Vanderpump in terms of classiness. But now I feel like actually Luanne is, like, below. Like, way below. Yeah, Luanne is doing that empty nest syndrome thing. It's like the woman version of the midlife crisis.

Where she's like, I'm gonna fuck everything! There you go, girl. Yeah. So then we went on to Ramona's birthday lunch. Okay. Okay. Okay, Ramona's birthday lunch Okay Okay Okay She has a birthday lunch And all of Ramona's friends were there

Including the Liza Minnelli lady Who looks like the woman from my synagogue And when Bethany showed up Bethany showed up first And it was It was actually I was cracking up She was like

Who are these women It's like It's like You know They were like frozen After last year's birthday party They never left It's like They were put in the were like frozen after last year's birthday party. They never left. It's like, they were put in the freezer, and then

they opened the freezer, and now they're here again. And they showed footage from last year and this year, and she was so right. And they were circling her, the little fame whores that they are. They were circling her. I love your hair. I love your hair. Is that new hair? I love your hair. Oh, thank you. My hair. Wow.

That was cracking up. I love when Ramona came up to her. She's like, oh, thank you. My hair. Wow. That was cracking up. I love when Ramona came up to her. She's like, oh, here you are at my birthday. Oh, my God. I was going to wear a black pantsuit today. It's purple, Ramona. Yeah, that's what I meant. Are you colorblind?

Well, it's just because I'm so excited. Okay. Okay. Ramona purple. And then everyone, for some reason, was wearing red red and Ramona was like, everyone's wearing red. I thought that was my color. I'm like, Ramona, your color is Ramona blue. You can't take red also.

You can't have Ramona red and Ramona blue. Take one. And you've already chosen Ramona blue. That was before I got pig's blood thrown on me in high school, okay? Okay. Didn't you see my sitcom? Okay. I thought red was blue because I was nervous at the time.

You know, that's how I saw it. Okay. I go hot and cold. That's why I thought purple was my color too because red and blue make purple. Okay, I'm sorry. That's the way colors work. I'm sorry. And of course, Sonia, right after this intervention meeting,

walks into the birthday party of the person who gave her the intervention. And she's like, like hi it's me sorry I'm late I had a big night last night do I have semen on my face oh you know big night am I getting cataracts or is that just sperm anybody anybody

she has like an eyelash on her is it an eyelash or is it something else because I had a big night last night I know and I love she's like oh i love her hair she says to bethany i love your hair your hair looks great i love it i'm like her hair was like that at the reunion you've seen it before you crazy lady sonia is a crazy lady she is and i believe that she just woke up in the back of an uber you know i do believe that coming in here so then um and then later on then luann walks in and i

love luann walking in and she just says she's just everyone she's like how are you how are you how are you i'm like talking to all the waiters she's like talking to a plant well maybe the waiters will appreciate a good hula hoop yeah luann used to make a great entrance but now her entrances are just sort of sad. How are you? How are you? I'm sorry. I'm just the mailman.

I just dropped off some mail. I'm leaving now. Oh, by the way, Bethany, I have a gift for you, okay? It's tap shoes. Let me show you how to use them. Jesus, sit down, Luan. So there's a gifting situation, which looks like it's going to flare up next week. So Luanne gives Ramona a necklace for her birthday. And it's a necklace from her collection.

It's from her collection. And as Ramona describes it, Luanne had already given it to her. And then it was broken. So Luanne got it fixed and was giving it back to her now. it was broken so luanne got it fixed and was giving it back to her now meanwhile she pulls out this beautiful bag for bethany that has like her like her name her initials on it etc that she didn't get to give to bethany at her birthday so she gives it to her now and luanne's like well you know i gotta give for bethany i gotta give for ramona it's no big deal and bethany is like feeling awkward because it's not her party everyone is like you gave me this crappy necklace

it's like you re-gifted me this isn't even a gift it's just you party everyone is like you gave me this crappy necklace it's you regifted me you this isn't even a gift it's just you fixed something you gave it back to me it's it's a regift my own birthday even a gift the first time okay this is like you know bethany like emptying out a bottle of skinny girl and then putting more skinny girl in it and putting the top back on and giving it to me like it never was a gift in the first place okay yeah so ramona's like so of course you know the best way that bethany knows how to say thank you for a gift is in fighting with you you know like that's her way of saying thank you well you know i feel like it's awkward because you like gave me this purse but like you've been so weird like like now it's a purse but then you you know before you

would like beg me to come to this party and like, like, who are you to attack me and, like, say I'm all uncool? Like, who does that? Like, what are you talking about? Like, who are you? I know. And poor, sad Luanne. I mean, she's so desperate to do this. She's like, well, you know, you're like family now.

Like, you came to the house. And Beth's like, once. I came to the house once. Like, no, Miguel, I'm not family. You know what I think about family? I hate my family. Okay? She's like, well, you're part of the family.

You're like a mother to me, okay? Yeah. She's like, you met Noelle. This just means so much to me. I'm like, Luanne, don't't do this you don't have to do this this is below this is beneath your character luann you don't have to do this well poor luann because they're icing her out everybody is iced her out this season and if bethany ices you out you're dead like that's what happened to kristin so she's seeing you know this woman like she has her house in the hamptons which is smaller now she doesn't have an apartment she's at, at this point, not rich and fabulous.

And everyone's icing her out and trying to get her kicked off the show. And she's just like, please, Bethany, please. We've known each other. Don't kick me off the show. Mommy, I don't even know what to do. This is a serious godfather shit. All that stuff happened so long ago that you're mad about. Like, you got mad about the Kyle thing a long time ago.

We've seen each other. You've come to my house. You've come to my parties. You peed in my toilet after You've come to my parties. You peed in my toilet after that. Like, how could you? She's like, oh, what? What? I barely even saw you. Like, so what? And meanwhile, in the middle of this,

you know, the editors are like, the editors on these shows are so sly and hilarious. They cut to Jules talking to Dorinda being like, you know, the thing about Bethany is that she's actually very warm. I really couldn't believe how warm she is. Cut to Bethany being like, get off my jock, Luanne. Okay, you're not a real friend.

You're a snake. You're a motherfucking snake. Like, I literally can't deal with you. Like, don't give me a gift, you know? She literally, she gets, she makes Luanne cry because Luanne is basically,

she's basically like, the subtext really is like, I know that I made you mad over the summer, but please still be my friend because I have no one and I don't want to be kicked off the show. And I know I'm fighting with your best friend and I still – please don't be mad at me. Please, please, please. And I'm lonely and I'm homeless.

I'm living out of the bag. Well, Bethany, I was alone. Okay? I'm alone. I'm fragile. Okay? I don't have an apartment. I just – you know, the whole feeling about Kyle's was I just felt left out I felt so bad for her

I felt like it was honest I actually feel like that was an honest moment because I think Luann often has FOMO and I think that she is too proud to say it and this is one of the times where she really was articulating it and I'm sure actually a lot of her issues with Carol stem from jealousy of her relationship with carol stem from jealousy of her relationship with bethany i would not be surprised and don't do it jill zarin to me i mean lisa vanderpump didn't let jill zarin into her party in the half it's like please don't put me on the same level as a zarin please i think i think that's what it was and even bethany was like wow i've never seen her cry i made the countess cry like this is new i've never seen you before it's

like it's like crazy it's like crazy. It's like, whoa. Like, seriously? Like, oh, my God. Like, literally, like, my walls are black. Don't offer me tears or hummus. Like, I can't. Like, literally, it's too much. But that's how to win Bethany.

Like, you cry, you admit you're a bulimic or whatever, and then suddenly she likes you again. She's like, you see? It's like they said in Beverly Hills. Like, it would make us like you if we knew that you got beaten by your boyfriends. It's like, Jesus. God, you guys. Can you find any, like, similar hobbies? We need to know your pain. I mean, Bethany is, she is such a piece of work.

And for some reason, I'm just, like, loving her more and more. I don't get it. She's such an asshole, but she is a hilarious asshole. That's most of the women on this show. They're awful. They're awful to each other, but goddamn, they're funny. They are. Ramona being mad that everyone's in red. Because dorinda shows up she's like hi hi so dorinda

gets up there so dorinda dorinda is such a bitch so she's she comes up i don't remember what happens first was the toast first or was her moment about john first i think it was her moment about john because they were talking about, it was Luann, Dorinda, and Sonia. And Luann's like, well, I just got the riot act after giving somebody an expensive purse. Yeah, and then Sonia's like,

how about you? How are you and John doing? Are you guys, how's everything going with you? And she's like, well, you know. And then as she starts talking about John, Ramona happens to walk over and Dorinda's like,

you know, a lot of people have a lot of opinions about John, and I think that they're just jealous, and they should keep their motherfucking mouth closed. Okay, just back it up about John, okay? Like, you know what, you're jealous, you're unhappy in your life, and that's what it is. That's what I think about certain people. And Ramona's like, alright, message received.

I got the message, okay? Take a sign out! So Ramona just, like, walks away. Dorinda's toast was amazing. She's like, all right. Ding, ding, ding, ding. All right, everybody.

I just wanted to give a shout-out. I just wanted to say, Ramona has been a good friend for years. Okay? You know, it's like my husband passed away a day before her birthday. Ramona's like, oh, my God. He passed away a day before a birthday. Ramona's like, oh my god, he passed away yesterday? I totally forgot. That explains the red balloon I saw. I popped it. I feel so bad.

Now I know why we're all wearing red. We're like all wearing rigid. Dorenda's like, I see my husband floating past me in all these red dresses like he's everywhere. My husband died, and I wouldn't come out of bed, and Ramona called me, and she was like, get out of bed. Your husband

said there's nothing you can do. Maybe there'll be single men at this women's party. I just want to say, Ramona, thank you for used to being my good friend, and we need to cherish our friendships with girlfriends, because true girlfriends are loyal and protective. for you to being my good friend. And, you know, we need to cherish our friendships with girlfriends because true girlfriends are loyal and protective.

Alright? So here's to the ladies lunch. Here's to the ladies lunch. You better back it up. Here's to the ladies who back it up. Back it up. Everybody laugh. Laugh. Why don't ladies wear hats anymore? Why don't ladies wear hats anymore?

Why don't ladies wear hats anymore? Here's little ladies. Stop blaming John for all the ladies' lunch. You know, people have lunch, and it's John's fault. You know, sorry. John's not the panna cotta of lunch, okay? Stop being John. I'm not the panna cotta of lunch. Hey, it's not the panoply of lunch, okay? Stop being John. It's not the Panicata of lunch.

Hey, it's not the Panoply of lunch, okay? It's John. Here's to the Johns who do laundry. Here's to the Crayons who do chaos. Here's to the panaceas. Dorinda. I love that Dorinda thinks she's so sly. She's like, I was trying to send Ramona a message.

We got that. You think? By the way. Who doesn't like Sondhams? Is that Sondheim? I guess it's Sondheim. What's it from? That is from Follies Oh, here's the ladies who lunch

Yeah Here's to the chaos crayons Here's to the red balloons Oh Here's to the light in London Here's to the women who grew up, you know, in Berkshires, but like neighbors, but like sisters in the Berkshires. Here's to the ladies who eat breakfast on my ride.

I mean, who eats breakfast anymore? Like, I went to get eggs, there was no ladies in the diner. Like, where are they? The times have changed. Here's to the house, you know, I got my house, and you got your type of house, and you got your type of house he's got your type of houses i'd like to make a toast to ramona ramona from wondery this is black history for real i'm francesca ramsey and i'm consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less, and a little bit more. She is a heroine to some, as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple

Podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's industry's Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or beaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society

that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Say it in

private, alright? For 20 years, I'm gonna give Ramona the respect and do this toast in private. Yeah, the toast that I said in private. I made up my mind. I made up my mind. I made up my mind. Hey, I hope everyone's having a good lunch.

And remember, if you don't like what's being served, you can have a sandwich. If you want to have a sandwich, you've got a sandwich, okay? Whatever you do. You don't want a sandwich? She's making you eat a sandwich. If you don't want to have a sandwich, don't have a sandwich, okay? You can leave the lunch at any time, okay?

Here's to the ladies who like sandwiches. That ends a week of New York. And next week, it just gets better and better. It just looks like it's getting better and better. Honestly, someone should just take every single season of this show and put it in the Library of Congress and save it for future generations because it's perfection well you know what else is

perfection being? what? my mother Rhonda Carom is perfection oh yeah and it's a good time to be thinking about that because Mother's Day is in like one second okay this releases on Thursday and Mother's Day is in like one second. Okay. This releases on Thursday and Mother's Day is in literally a second.

If you count us. Today is Cinco de Mayo. Okay. And Mother's Day is on May 8th. Okay. Okay. Okay. So this sneaks up on you every year, but you still got enough time.

Order your mother the best flowers of her life. I did it. Yeah. They're from books.com. Books as in bouquets. B-O-U-Q-S. Flowers are in a word gorgeous. Darling, they're super gorgeous

and of course, you know the thing that we love the most about them. They are grown on eco-friendly farms on the side of a volcano. The blooms are larger. The colors are more vibrant. Mm-hmm. By the the way the volcano has better soil and there's more sun because it's like 10 000 feet up in the air or something like that so it's got more sun and vibrancy and you know yeah and they're cut to order so they're not going to be

all rancid by the time they get there like some of those nasty grocery store flowers do not get your mother flowers from ralph Do her a favor, okay? She pushed you out. Even if she got cut open, she still has a smiley face on her stomach because of you. Get her some real volcano flowers, okay, fucker? Exactly. Because the flowers from the books

really do say thanks, Mom, for all you do. Yep. Books.com. Go today. B-O-U-Q-S dot com. Your mother knows second-rate-U-Q-S.com. Your mother knows second-rate flowers, okay? Books prices start at a mere $40. There's no upcharges, no extra fees, and even delivery is absolutely free when you register with the books. Listeners of our show save 20% off the bouquet of your choice.

Just go to books.com and enter promo code WATCH. That's B-O-U-Q-S.com. Promo code WATCH. Books.com. enter promo code WATCH. That's B-O-U-Q-S.com. Promo code WATCH. Books.com. Promo code WATCH. Yeah, you can be like Nan Chez, who is one of our Twitter followers. And she tweeted us that she goes, I booked at my mama. Thanks for the code and the reminder.

Well, thank you, Nan. Thank you. I booked at my mama. Are you Nan Chez or Nan Chez, like the French word? I guess we'll find out in the future. Chez. Chez. Nanchez.

Are you Chez commentary? Tell us the truth. Nanho over there. I just learned that slang, by the way, which is 15 years old. Nanho. Nanho? Nanho. Nanho.

It's from a Trick Daddy. It's like a Trina. It's a Trick Daddy song. What is Nanho? It's like a Trick Daddy. It's like a Trick Daddy song. What is Nanho? It's like a Miami slang. If you're basically saying that ho over there, you're like that Nanho over there. Oh my God, I feel like I'm talking to Heather. You're so culturally aware.

I'm so culturally aware of Miami slang from 2001. Oh, I wanted to mention, because I really don't have a whole lot to say about Below Deck, sorry, but I wanted to mention that since I was watching the shows live last night on the actual Bravs, I watched There Goes the Motherhood. Watched it. How was it? We are not covering it on the show, but I was just watching it to give it another chance because when Ben and I first turned it on, it was just children screaming and we couldn't do it. Ben, it's actually really a funny show. It's so good. It's kind of like Housewives, but they're younger,

obviously, and they're all young moms. And the best part is that instead of doing like vagina waxing segments or here's the part where I'm trying to teach my daughter how to drive, instead they have children. And, man, kids are so hilarious.

They're like little retards who don't know anything. They're just like these little blank slates walking around with boogers coming out their nose, bumping into walls. And these women think they have it so all together because they're a mom. And I'm going to raise my baby different. I'm not going to become my mother. But they're becoming their mothers. And you can't control a child. They don't care what you think. Well, I mean, I'm still not sold.

I'll check it out because if you say it's good, I trust it. But we can't cover all these shows because we have tour group also. Well, we'll talk about it next time, but I would much rather cover this than Below Deck because Below Deck is just an exact copy of the last one. But I like the last one. I know.

But how many times do we need to be the same people on a boat on the thing? I don't know. Watch it and see. Because this one, the characters you can actually get behind. And watching people raise children is hilarious to me. It's not hilarious to me. It's like a horror movie to me. Ben, I'm shocked that I liked it.

I'm shocked. I'll watch it. I'll watch it. I'm not even liking it. Like this neurotic lady goes on a date, the divorced one. She's like, well, I haven't dated. I didn't really love my husband. He didn't really love me.

So like he left. But, you know, like now I got a date. And like she's so negative. And it's hilarious watching her go on a date. And then the other one trying not to become her mother, but she's awful. And she has to stay skinny for her husband or he'll leave her. I mean, there's some good shit in this show. So I'm concerned now because you like this show.

I like Blowdeck Mediterranean. And Tour Group is coming back. And we both actually liked Tour Group when it was on earlier. So there's a lot of stuff to cover and I don't know I don't know how we're gonna do it maybe we should just ask the audience let us know right on our Facebook page I don't think we have to cover all of them but just

I would choose either of the ones you just mentioned over Below Deck I can't believe that Below Deck I was like fully entertained you were? okay well let's talk about Below Deck well okay was, like, fully entertained. You were? Okay, well, let's talk about Below Deck. Well, okay. Well, we'll talk about it because we both watched it.

Why don't we just go through the characters? I have the cast in front of me, and we'll just talk about the characters, and we'll talk about the things that they did. We won't go too far in depth because it's the standard thing of, like, meeting the new crew crew members getting on the boat there are some really annoying uh guests we can talk we can start actually with the charter the charter guests which are it's like these two couples i think uh with this one girl who has a skincare line and she's beautiful sort of j-lo meets ariana grande type of girl who's high maintenance, who's got a bunch of putzes around her. Yeah, pretty much. They're big requests that they have to see a Steelers game because this one guy has never missed a Steelers game his whole life. I'm like, well, why did you book a yacht trip in the middle of football season?

How about that? Because people think that magical things can be done with money. Like you can suddenly get – like they'll come play baseball for you in the middle of the ocean no it doesn't work like that okay yell at satellites well obviously the allure of being famous outranked the allure of keeping your sealers uh thing alive and i it occurred to me if if ever you get an email from a producer bravo that says congratulations you, we'd love to have you be on Below Deck as a guest. Sure, you're getting to be on TV and you get a free yacht ride, but remember that you're

being chosen because you're an asshole every single time. If you are selected to be on Below Deck as a charter guest, it's because people think you're an asshole and they know that you'll be an asshole on TV. But people like this don't even care if they're assholes. And they think if you think they're an asshole and they know that you'll be an asshole on TV. But people like this don't even care if they're assholes. And they don't care. They think if you think they're an asshole, it's because you're fat. Like these people do push-ups on the boat railings. Okay, this is that kind of people.

They're like, oh, she push-ups on the boat railings. And they're like, wow, she's fat. Yeah, she's fat. Fuck off. I hope you all drown. She's like, I want to have, can you like make sure the dessert uses the flavors from my skincare line? I'm like, stop trying to, like, use Below Deck to promote your skincare line. No one cares and no one even knows what it is because you didn't even mention its name.

And you were too stupid to remember to wear the logo on your T-shirt, you know? Also, you look suspiciously like chucky the horror doll like i don't i don't know i don't know what you're trying to sell but your face is horrifying okay stop cutting it i hate when people are like cutting up their face every week they have a cutting disorder on their face and then they're like it's my moisturizer it's coconut oil no it's not it's like fucking kindergarten scissors and some scotch tape. Get yourself together. Stop trying to sell me facial products, okay? Okay, so first we have a new captain.

This is Captain Mark Howard, who is sort of like J.K. Simmons a little bit. J.K. Simmons meets that one character actor who I'm blanking on. And I can't remember what he's in, but I'd recognize him if I saw him. So not very helpful. You know what it is it's that guy i remember on seinfeld george had that co-worker who is the one when remember when george tried to nickname himself and they just all started calling him coco no well he had a co-worker and anyway so this captain i keep on getting distracted i think this guy looks like the boss from Mary Tyler Moore. Oh, Ed Asner. Ed Asner meets J.K. Simmons.

Yeah. He has this, like, nose hair that is, like, pouring out. And I just want to trim it. So, I mean, I don't want to physically trim it. I want him to trim it. But it's like I kept, I could not stop staring at his nose hair. It's very disturbing for me. I liked him.

He seems really funny. Like, he seems like he's going to be funny because he's a weirdo. But I already met the other captain. That's rules, buddy. Okay? Yeah. Yeah, Captain Lee. I like crusty Captain Lee.

But this captain looks like he'll be, you know, he'll be goofy and, you know, serious at the same time. Yeah. Then we have Ben Robinson, who's back, Chef Ben. And he's here to challenge his guest palates. I've got to challenge my guest palates because, you know, I like ground beef with cheese on top. You know what I'm saying, baby? Baby, it's moussaka. It's not ground beef with cheese.

You have to sell it. It's lamb. Lamb with egg pie. There's mighty pretty ladies on the boat, mate I don't envy me Yes, I do I envy myself So, I mean, Ben's Ben

I mean, his whole thing was These people are, like, clearly health conscious And he made First he makes them fried cheese. And then he makes a moussaka that does look really heavy and greasy. And I'm sorry. I don't think if she had said it was ground lamb with an eggplant with some cheese, whatever, I don't think they would have eaten it anymore.

I think it looked... After an appetizer of heavy fried cheese, then to have another thing with big melty cheese on it. No. Well, I'm finding it hard to believe that this chick is has been a head stew for so long or chief stew for so long because any no one would announce dinner like that. I mean, I know I'm a waiter and everything, so I know how to do it. But that's not how you sell dinner. You have to go up and say this is moussaka, the traditional Greece dish. When in Greece, it's made with ground lamb, fresh farm cheese, and blah, blah, blah.

And then they think they're eating something fancy. But they were like, what is this? And she's like, I don't know. I think it's ground beef with some cheese on top. Okay, enjoy then. Enjoy. And how has she been in the Mediterranean for so long and she doesn't know what moussaka is?

It's like one of the most famous Greek dishes there is. Yeah, I'm not sure about her. I like that she seems nice, but then you see scenes from the season and she's kind of awful. She's kind of like Mary Poppins, the cheese stew. Yeah, well, yeah, she's like Mary Poppins, the chief stew. Well, the funny thing also, by the way, about the moussaka is that Ben was like, you know, I like to eat a lot.

But if I'm in Greece, I want to have some moussaka when in Greece. I'm like, yes, that makes sense if I were in Greece and I walked into a small taverna and I said, oh, I'm going to have some moussaka. But if I'm on a yacht with a British chef, it's not the same thing to get moussaka. It doesn't make it more special. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that looked like a lumpy Frito pie. Let's be honest. I mean, if you're going to cook that for all those rich people who are skinny and you know they're all about fitness,

then at least make a cucumber salad with some mint in it. I mean, how fucking hard is that? I know. Exactly. Get some dolmatas, grape leaves, whatever. Yeah, dolmas. Hell yeah. Dolmas. Which is funny. This is like the second time we've talked about dolmas on the podcast. I'm surprised that's it because I love that

shit. I'm always searching for the perfect dolma. That could be a new Bravo show. You could be a special guest on Off the Menu. Ronnie seemed nice at first, but God, he got me with those dolmas from Sprouts. You cut to me yelling, no one puts raisins in dolmas! Having a shit fit. I'm telling you, the dolmas at Carousel in East Hollywood are delicious. Oh, yeah, but I ain't paying full restaurant retail price for dolmas.

I mean, there's grape leaves wrapped around rice. But theirs are so good. It's these holiday prices. Oh, yeah. You said pita grill on Fairfax. Amazing. Okay, so anyway, so Hannah. Why don't we talk about – we started talking about Hannah while we get into her.

She is this Australian chief stew who looks like Jennifer Lawrence. Australian chief stew who looks like Jennifer Lawrence. And yeah, she's like the bossy one. And she's going to be running a tight ship. And she's never been on such a gaudy yacht before, which is true. The yacht was disgusting. Where do they get these? I feel like Robert Goulet's estate has been selling yachts to Bravo.

And of course, by the way, the charter guest is like, I love it. Oh my god. You know what? The blue counter, the blue marble counter matches my skin cream. Oh my god. It matches the cheap filler in your face, you tacky slut. Get that thing filled with some rubber like everybody else. Who are you? Yeah, seriously. So we have Hannah, who is

the chief stew. We have Bobby, who is the chief stew. We have Bobby, who is the tall, hot... Oh, Bobby. I love when a man is about to be ex-hot. You know when guys are writing? It's like that milk that expires tomorrow, but it's a dollar off, so you buy it anyway. And then you've got a jug of half-expired milk in your fridge expired milk yeah your fridge like why did i buy this that's the guy yeah he is um he's tall he's goofy um he has some ridiculous story about how he loved ghostbusters so much

that he wanted to become a fireman so then he became a fireman and now he's on a yacht like it didn't make any sense yeah he's he's an idiot. I couldn't with that. But he's hot. And then we have Brian. Brian is, he's not the bosun, but he's like bosun on deck. And I kept getting distracted because during his confessionals,

he had lipstick on. It was like whoever was doing the makeup went awry with the lipstick and I just could not stop looking at his pink lipstick. Yeah. Well, what was he supposed to be? Because he had another job, right? And the captain was like,

well, I'm going to make you the chief bloody blah of the Bosony blah blah. He's like, yeah, thank you, sir. I'll give it my best shot. I can't wait to impress you all. Whatever, whatever. I like your accent, the span that your accent just went on right there.

I'm trying to remember him. That's how bland these people were. I was like, what did he even do? I just remember him being a little too anal. But that's the way the show is. It's always sort of like bland, but then they go crazy over the course of the season. That's the fun of it. Anyway, yeah, his whole thing

is basically, he's just he is our Alex Peaky. He's just follow the rules, do this, do that, and get the shit done, and blah, blah, blah. I don't want to be a dick. Yeah. And then you have Danny, who is the other deckhand. And he pretty much spent the entire episode being like, wow, you're so tall.

Whoa, you're so tall. Whoa. I have to wait in line to get in the room because you're so big. Whoa, you're tall. Everyone's so tall yeah he's like a little over eager guy um who has a lot of sisters and so he wants to please the women which is kind of funny because i my first note about him was um immediate hate but then he seemed very nice later he actually did seem nice because he um so he had to wake up at 6 a.m with jen who's the who's the other deckhand uh jen is a lesbian and she like will not stop making corny jokes about being a

lesbian it's like hey jen can you wash that i'll tell you what i'll wash some woman's vagina with my mouth yeah i think she's nearly out of the closet i remember when i came out of the closet i would almost do it on purpose like say things on purpose just so i didn't have to deal with people going you're gay like yes you don't want to have that conversation so it's like well oh you know you just make dumb jokes like that and she was making them the whole time like do you think anyone's cute she's like yeah everybody and then there's the guys. Like, okay, we get it, Dykstra. Yeah. Congratulations.

You enjoy vaginas. Here's your medal. So Jen, it turns out, is like kind of awful because she basically slept in. She's supposed to be up at 6 a.m. also. She shows up at like 6.45 in the morning. Danny has been cleaning everything and he's behind because she didn't show up. And then she's like,

yeah, when Brian shows up, just say that I was like, just lie, just lie. And he's like, well, I don't want to lie. And she's like, no, just lie. He's like, well, what am I going to do when he asks me why isn't everything done? She's like, just lie, man.

So then, you know, Brian is like, hey, so you need to get everything done more. And like, were you guys both up at 6 a.m.? And Danny's like, I don't you need to get everything done more. Were you guys both up at 6am? And Daniel's like, I don't want to lie. And then Brian's like, hey, Jen, were you up at 6am? She's like, no, I was like five minutes late or whatever.

Yeah, she's an asshole. I mean, as my mother would say, you can be a lesbian and you can be lazy, but you can't be a lazy lesbian, okay? Yeah, you can't be. You can only float one thing that people have to swallow at a time, okay? She's like, why doesn't Danny lie?

Like, why does he know about lying? Like, how does he get along in life? I guess he has morals. You know what I've got? A craving for vagina. Like, why does he know about lying? Like, how does he get along in life? I guess he has morals. Ugh. You know what I've got? A craving for vagina. Ugh. All right.

And then she's getting in trouble, and you see clips of her already in the very first episode. Like, yeah, I see some sexism already right off the bat. Fucking sexist. I'm like, no, lady. No, no. You a lazy bitch, okay? Yeah. Although Brian probably is a a lazy bitch, okay? Yeah. Although, Brian probably is a little sexist.

But you're also... Here's the thing. If you know you have a boss who's sexist, then you know what's a good thing to do? If you want to be like, hey, no, I'm just as good as one of the guys, you should not show up late and make the guys look good. Brian did say something that sounded a little sexist but because he was saying well normally it's guys you can like punch him in the arm and just say get over an asshole but you can't do that with the girl it's different like he seems like that but at the same time in male dominated things especially of this nature it's like a bunch of worker bees who are male dominated it is like that like if you're gonna be a girl in that then you have to deal with

the guys being stupid fucking guys because they act like that. If you're going to be a girl in that, then you have to deal with the guys being stupid fucking guys because they act like that when girls aren't around. They fart on each other and they just do stuff like that. They're not going to stop doing it just because you're a girl. When a gay guy goes and plays football, the guys are still going to... I don't know. I guess all those things sound fun

actually. Never mind. Bad example. I just had a great fantasy about playing. I'm like like i'm taking a football at 40. so next we have uh another stew julia dalbert pussy uh she is she's british and uh julia she her background makes no sense she's like well i had a fashion line and i was in all these stores and i was really sure it was doing well but it wasn't doing well enough so here i am on a yacht i was like there's some disc there's a disconnect there that's not the way it usually works to get the money to pay

for my dress line what oh excuse me there's i'm like i don't get this paula abdul because she looks like paula abdul i really like Abdul. Because she looks like Paula Abdul. I really like her so far. She looks like she should be horrible because she's beautiful. She looks like a vixen. She's a brunette on a boat of blondes. Usually that means she's going to be awful. Because that's how people stereotype. They're like, look, here's a bunch of blonde people and a brunette.

Yes. But she's not. She's really nice. And someone says to you driving,'s like i have a 1964 vespa like oh i like her like struggling to hold on to her coolness and stuff because you know that shit always breaks down but she'd rather look cute on it you know i like her for the most part i can't wait until she disappoints me it's my favorite part of a reality show when they turn exactly yeah she's very um she's very Paula Abdul meets Jillian Michaels.

Both of those bitches are crazy. Exactly. And then we have Tiffany. Tiffany is a marine biologist by trade, but has been working on yachts because she doesn't really want to enter the real world, I guess. Isn't that like every marine biologist ever? I've never known anybody who's studied marine biology that's like a normal, well-adjusted person. They're all just trying to escape something. No offense, Patty, if you're out there listening. Remember Patty? Who's Patty? Our friend Patty.

Who? Never mind. Wait, in real life? In real life. We have a friend in real life named Patty. Oh, yeah. Patty. Oh, yeah. Well, she's a professor, right? Yeah. But a marine biologist professor. She probably knows a bunch of people. I knew three strippers. Okay, this is why I'm saying it. When I yeah. Well, she's a professor, right? Yeah. But a marine biologist professor. She probably knows a bunch of people. I knew three strippers. This is why I'm saying it. When I lived in Florida,

I knew this group of stripper girls. So funny and nice. I still know a bunch of them. Three of them left stripping to become marine biologists. I don't know if that was just in this little town where everybody was like, oh, and guess where that was? In Jupiter, Florida. And that's where this girl is from as well.

Whoa, it's all coming together. I've always thought of that as like a stripper, like the escape the stripper world to become a marine biologist. Maybe someone suggested to them that they should go muff diving and they took it a little too literally. I'll go muff diving.

We get it, Peppermint patty have a seat so tiffany she like doesn't know how to do anything um she like didn't know how to make coffee she didn't she doesn't know she's like she even said she's like i'm not very detail oriented and you could see hannah like her her eyes were like bulging like what the hell job where you don't even want it That's like me showing up to rear a bunch of children That I didn't even want Who shows up to work being Mary Poppins And smacks the children in the face every day

Not me It's ridiculous It's like going on a boat to the middle of nowhere And expecting to see a football game That's being broadcast in a different country In a different hemisphere At a different time zone It's like trying to sing

Chim Chimney and realising you don't like soot. Well, what's the song gonna be about then? It's like trying to fly without an umbrella. You can't do it. Look, when I see some penguins start dancing on this boat, I'll buy it. But yeah, this other girl, she kind of doesn't have

a personality. She's just like well i was gonna be a marine biologist but now i'm just on a boat i don't like ironing i don't i didn't come here so i can iron it's like an uninteresting rocky yeah yeah she's she's gonna be a disaster um i want i wonder who's gonna be fired first i i feel like it's gonna be one of the guys it looks like it's gonna be one of the guys i It looks like it's going to be one of the guys. I have a feeling Ben's going to get fired. Really? Yes.

I think it's going to be Brian. Oh, the bossy one? Yeah. Well, son, I don't like your lipstick. Let's just be honest. Makes me feel weird. So here you go. Me too.

Yes, we get it, darling. Sit down. Makes me want to kiss you, but then I remember you're a guy. I'm lesbian. All right. Yes, Jen. We get it. We've seen lesbians before.

Hey, as long as we're in the Mediterranean, why don't we stop off at the Isle of Lesbos? Does anyone have scissors? I can't get this tag off. I do. Oh, my God. You you're not gonna scissor someone just sit down peppermint um yeah that's that's pretty much it for below deck mediterranean i remember i feel like there were some other funny things but i don't remember them because i didn't write anything down oh i didn't write anything down for this one i started to okay

here's what i wrote i wrote cap mark and ben hannah sheaves do ben giggle set up in a day ryan losing captain gay charters vomiting swans danny deckhand already the worst i hate this show i'm not writing anymore oh i liked it i was really into it but you know what i didn't like the first below deck either until the second year so maybe we'll like it all right well i'll keep tabs on this one um we how about this you keep tabs on motherhood i'll keep tabs on this one and we can just do tour group oh okay that'll be fine okay so in the meantime that was just our that was just a palate cleanser between the housewives because we have our third and final installment in the real housewives of beverly hills reunion slash takedown of lisa vanderpump but not really i know but another vanderpump takedown fail

i mean they were just right so my favorite thing about this was they were at this point they were just really trying as hard as they could to take her down. And Lisa just is not having it. They're like, do you feel sorry? Do you feel kind of bad for everything? Does this make you feel sad? She'd be like, no, no. Why would it?

No. What? She must have had a martini with some Xanax in it before this even started because she never got upset she never got mad she just looked confused anybody yeah she was like what is happening here what are they even talking about darling yeah at one point i remember when eileen this cracked me up eileen is coming at lisa about deflecting that's what she does you all all you do is deflect you just deflect and change the subject and then then and he is like do you admit that you do that that you deflect and lisa vanderpump stares in for a heartbeat and goes what what what are you talking about what are we talking about i love that she deflected the deflection so they open talking about this they're still talking about how lisa vanderpump was also abused at one point.

And she's crying. And she's doing this thing where she's putting the Kleenex all the way against her eyeball. And then I just love that. Because I was like, she'll even turn that into Kleenex cataracts. And she'll never have boogers again. She'll even make her blindness a win. But she was crying. And then Lisa Rinna is trying not to laugh while she's watching her cry about

abuse Eileen is making this snarky face and Yolanda is just shaking her head and smiling like oh look at her and then Yolanda becomes the full on Andy in this one and just starts she takes over this whole reunion basically and she's like

look at you Lisa Vanderump dance this is what we wanted from you the feelings oh you are finally feeling the somethings yeah they were like yeah no they're like this is way this is this is how you bond lisa by sharing these things i'm like this is crazy i mean i get it that that is how you bond. But you shouldn't have to be compelled to share something on national TV that's deeply personal unless you want to. And they're only happy with Lisa Vanderpump if she takes herself down a few pegs. If she says, oh, I was beaten up by this awful guy and it was so terrible that I don't even think about it anymore. I don't even talk about it with my own husband. But they're only happy when she can reveal she can reveal that i was like that's bullshit but if she had done it when they're saying if she if

if eileen had said oh i remember that time where i was supposed to say something last year and now i'm gonna say it i was beat and everyone's like uh okay then what if vanderpump had said darling i was too i would i had an abusive relationship too. What a coincidence. Then Eileen would have been like, you see, she took my pain, my story. That was my moment. She turned it around and she stole it. Exactly. And now they're mad that Lisa Vanderpump wasn't crying because before, if she had cried, they would be like, she's trying to manipulate us with her tears and change the subject.

It's like, you can't fucking win. Yeah. And I just keep on asking, what is the manipulation for? I mean, at best, I guess it would be to make her look the best, be the most popular with the fans. The fact that these women care so much about being manipulated

and how they're being viewed by the fans just shows their sort of sadness and desperation. I was cracking up at I'm trying to read through this recap and just get it, but one of my favorite segments was Eileen Eileen was like, you don't feel anything. She's like, yes I do, darling.

I feel things, you know. Don't you remember when I cried about those tortured dogs darling, at the church? I screamed at the church. And Eileen's like, well well it could be said that you care more about animals than you do about anybody in this cast and Lisa goes yes thank you

well Lisa goes I have empathy for people I care about and I was like ooh that's true I care about dogs that are about to die and people I care about I love that it was like a quiet like smacked all of them i was laughing so hard and then um yolanda just started that smile nod again yes because this it started

this whole thing with uh pump and eileen because she's like well i'm glad you said that darling you know that i've got feelings because you said a lot of nasty things about me. And Eileen, trying not to roll her eyes, is like, I haven't said anything nasty. I was just being honest. Well, it hurt my feelings, darling. Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry. And then Yolanda's like, you see, she did it again.

She made Eileen apologize. This is not about Eileen making apologies. And then they were like, look how easy it was. Eileen just had to say I'm sorry, and that's all it took. And then Andy's like, Lisa, do you have a hard time saying sorry? And then she's just like, she just doesn't say anything. How is that Eileen giving, because Andy's the one who said, you see, that's all Eileen wanted was for you to say sorry like she just did.

That is how Lisa said sorry she said exactly sorry for whatever you're pissed off about which is what Aileen did well I'm sorry but I was just being honest why is that an okay sorry yeah exactly I'm even getting annoyed with myself like a lot of the comments people are like you kiss Lisa's ass whatever I do I get it you know and I get it and that's a legit criticism because at this point it's And I get it. And that's a legit criticism. Because at this point, it's all I'm doing because I'm getting more and more furious that these bitches have nothing. Like, this is the third reunion and you're

still talking about all of this nothing? You bunch of hypocrites. And friggin' Yolanda, when Lisa's talking about her abuse and everything and they're saying, well, why didn't you share this? And Lisa's like, well, it's unpleasant. I don't like to talk about it. And Yolanda's like, well, i don't i don't like to talk about it and you're just like well you know i don't like to talk about my lime like the lime is unpleasant but it's important for me to talk about like

of course yolanda turns lisa's abuse into a moment for her lime yet again of course her bravery dressing room for christ's sake her bravery for sharing her lime journey yet again you know her faux limes that happened to clear up right when the season was ending so she could go on more trips. Get out of here, Yolanda. Ain't nobody buying your shit no more. To me, there was a whole segment about Kyle and Lisa Rinna and what did Kyle say and what did Lisa hear and what did Lisa Vanderpump say to Kyle. and what did Lisa Vanderpump say to Kyle. Again, it was all this nitty-gritty,

and the story was changing every half-sentence about, well, I said it first. No, well, you said it, but I was talking about children. You said it for this and this. And to me, what I don't understand with these women is there's such a disparity about what everyone said and what everyone heard. And to throw out a relationship, when they said that Vanderpump and Rinna knew each other for 25 years it like it kind of it makes me sad to think that you would throw out an entire

relationship based on such uncertainty and it's like where is the benefit of the doubt Rinna we like you Rinna we do you know as much as we kiss Vanderpump's ass we every week we always remind people that we actually really like Rinna also, but we don't understand why she threw it out. And the reason why she threw it out, in my mind, after 25 years, is because she was manipulated, and it was not by Lisa Vanderpump. It was by Eileen and by Yolanda. They were the ones who got in her ear, like, she's so mean, she's so manipulative, she's so manipulative, she's using you, she's using you, she's so evil. You said those bad things, but it's not your lisa vanderpump made them made you say it they get into her ear

they make her feel like no one wants to be told they're manipulated everyone likes to think that likes to think that they're their own person and it it it makes her mad and next thing you know she's turning on this friend from 25 years because two other people have beefs with her and she's using this moment as if it's an a moment of aha proof i think even andy was trying to get at that like like why was this proof that lisa was lying etc etc and she didn't have a good answer for it it upsets me he said what she said she would call me and tell me what to say and he said okay well tell me what she told you to say well there was the munchausen really because you just admitted last week that she never said that

word you said that last week yourself i mean you've changed your story 20 times so who knows but that's what you said last week it's not like it was a long time ago you just said it and then he goes and what else and she's like well and there was that what was the other thing i don't remember there was another thing that lisa like supposedly talked her into doing she's like, well, and there was a, what was the other thing? I don't remember. There was another thing that Lisa like supposedly talked her into doing. It's like, shut up. And everyone's mad. Okay. So the thing is, everyone's mad that Lisa Vanderpump made her say Munchausen out loud.

But Vanderpump isn't even hiding her feelings. She's like, Yolanda, darling. I mean, this episode, they talked about all the same things. She's like, well, of course we had a good laugh about the Instagram. And Yolanda's like, you laughed at the pictures? Oh, my God. Well, darling, I mean, when your head was popping out of a toaster, of course it was over the top. We were cracking up about it.

Well, I'm glad you could find this funny. Well, yes, darling. You're a toaster. You're toast. You know, it was ridiculous. Like, she'll glad you could find this funny. Well, yes, darling. You're a toaster. You're toast, you know? It was ridiculous, darling. Like, she'll say it right to her face. I mean, Yolanda, why did you post the photo in the first place? It wasn't just because you had a smile on your face.

It wasn't because it was like, oh, it's my journey. You posted it because it looks ridiculous. And you're allowed to be on your journey and to say, look how hilarious this is that I'm in this thing. I mean, why did you put it on Instagram? The reason why is because on some level, you also thought it was funny and noteworthy. Well, I don't know. Funny.

She thinks this shit is like real shit. Poor Yolanda. Of course, she does do tricky things like post a picture where it looks like Onward is having to carry her through the streets. And then his Instagram is her smiling and laughing because they were having fun while they were shopping and she's trying to act like she was on death's door the the sanctimoniousness of it all you know of that you can't even laugh at her wrapped up in a jiffy pop thing is so beyond ridiculous and that's what's so frustrating because whether you're on lisa's side or whether you're against her okay the bullshit is nothing compared to yolanda's i'm sorry and i'm not even talking about whether the lime or the chronic line whatever's just the amount of bullshit about like

how could you laugh at me you know she is so quick to play the victim and beyond just like i have lime in terms of like regardless of what what you know, we always talk about the Lyme, the chronic Lyme and this and that. Regardless of that, she's just playing the victim of I'm ill and I'm going to use it. I mean, she brandishes it whenever she can, which is what Lisa Rinna was saying all along. And she's now backpedaled on that. And it's actually the most true thing that Rinna has said. Yep. Yolanda is just ridiculous.

I'm glad that she actually showed up as an awful human being so people can stop kissing her ass, because that's the one I'm really sick of. Everyone's like, you can't be mean because she's got a thing. No, she doesn't, and yes, I can. Watch me. So I'm glad that she's being awful again, because it's reminding people that she's an asshole,

because when you watch these shows, you have such a short memory span of what even happened last year why are they what are they talking about um but all of the outrage in this one was hilarious especially from renna and eileen eileen going off on vanderpump again because none of this worked last time vanderpump turned it all around on her and it took eileen a few minutes to realize that it got turned around on her again and she apologized again so she was like here's what you don't understand lisa vanderpump you made me look like the bitch i was the one who looked like the bitch you turned everything around and you made me i had no recourse do you know what that felt like i had no recourse i had to stand up for my like where the bravo human resources closed what do you mean you had no recourse what shut the fuck up eileen yeah exactly I had to stand up for my – like were the Bravo Human Resources closed?

What do you mean you had no recourse? Shut the fuck up, Eileen. Yeah, exactly. And what did you have to stand up to yourself about – what for? It's funny. Earlier this morning I was talking about this girl I know who like nine or ten months ago were hanging out. And she went off on me about something so beyond ridiculous. It was one of these moments where I was like,

is she really mad at me about this? And she's going off? And you know me, I don't like when people come for me. I'm very sensitive. I don't think they're all fried. Well, I wasn't going to cry because it was ridiculous.

It was just one of those things where I actually feel like, on a day one of those things where like, you know, I actually feel like on a day-to-day basis with my friends, I like, I give them the benefit of the doubt

and that this woman, she just like snapped and went crazy on me and it was a moment where I realized, oh, you know what? Like, okay, this girl's crazy

and we are actually two very different people. Like I get along with, I can get along with her. I can have fun with her. You know, I can obviously socialize or whatever, but we'll never be close because we're, we operate in two different ways. And, you know, and I still get like annoyed when I think back on that incident because it was so ridiculous, but I never really bothered to try to like talk to her about it to be like yeah I want to resolve this because a I didn't care enough and b I just knew it wouldn't resolve it because she wouldn't understand it she wouldn't understand where I was coming from and if anything she would just be like I can't believe you're

still complaining but that was like three days ago I'm over it she would have done actually what Lisa Vanderpump did to Eileen and I would be eileen but the difference is i was like okay whatever and i just sort of like wrote her off to a certain extent and that's what eileen should have done she should have been like okay all right all right i tried to approach lisa and she was kind of a bitch about her she didn't understand and you know what we're two different people i'm moving on we're i'm just never gonna let her be close to me well at this point you see because even just what they're saying and how they're talking, you can see that,

because Yolanda says later, well, Eileen is the most supportive because she's in no way connected to anything. Like, well, yeah, she is. You both live in Malibu. You guys have been talking, you know, so of course she's friends with you. She came in this season ready to be pissed

and found the first thing she could jump on. It took her three days to figure out that she could actually use this so i don't know if you're gonna come for vanderpump just do it well i want to see her like really crying and really caught in something horrible because we've been promised all these years all these horrible things she's been doing i want to see what they are i want to see and i mean you know people say every um every every year people accuse her of being manipulative i'm sure i'm sure she's manipulative in certain ways but but you know sometimes people confuse a strong personality for manipulation and uh you know that might be what's that what's at play here but i just still to the end of the i still question what is the end game for the manipulation?

If you're being manipulated, what's it for and why is she doing it? No, no one even knows. They're too stupid to fight. I mean Eileen's going off on this fake thing where she's pretending she's crying. She's like, how dare you? I had no recourse. Do you admit it? Do you admit it?

And Lisa's just staring off into space, so like no emotion on her face. And Andy goes, well, do you admit it? Do you admit it? And Lisa's just staring off into space. So, like, no emotion on her face. And Andy goes, well, do you admit it? And she's like, admit what? Exactly. Lisa at that point. She did it over and over. I was laughing so fucking hard. You know, at that point, Lisa had been, like, it had been, like, six hours.

And Lisa's, like, just over. And she's like, no, no. And then, of course, then they tried out Brandy in this video segment where Brandy has this moment where she's drinking her wine. She's like, hey, I'm drinking wine. You guys can't do anything about it. It was essentially like a na, na, na, na, na for like five minutes. And Lisa Vanderpump was like, why are you showing it? She's not even on the show anymore.

It's just ridiculous, you know. And he's like, shh, let's watch, let's watch. With his big grin, like, looking around, and everybody was pissed. And I like that Lisa was actually saying, oh, really, Andy? Like, that's fair now. You have someone who's not even on the show, and they get to sit up there and talk,

and no one else gets to say anything back. That's great, Andy. Really nice. Like, I like that she's just sitting there telling him off. And he's like, well, let him finish. And she just talked through the whole thing. And then meanwhile, you know, Brandy makes herself look like an ass as usual. And she's like, and she says the strangest thing is that she's like, Eileen, your hair looks really great this season. I'm like, all right, that's just proof that Brandy does not know what she's talking about at any given time.

this season i'm like all right that's just proof that brandy does not know what you're talking about at any given time it's like congratulations on understanding hair conditioner and also i never thought you'd have the balls to go after vanderpump and call her on her manipulation it's like yeah and then when she said and lisa vanderpump some of what she said you know again brandy's like a new york chick she's an asshole but she's a funny asshole when she wasna, like, you're nuttier than a squirrel's poop, Rinna. And I used to think you were bipolar, but now I can just see your batshit fucking crazy lady. You're fucking crazy. And then Kyle, stupid Kyle, briar bra that fits or whatever. She's like going down the list.

And then she gets to Vanderpump and she's like, Lisa Vanderpump, I was your puppet. And I let myself be manipulated. And I admit it it I did all your dirty work what dirty work can you name one fucking thing that Brandy ever did for Lisa one yeah I mean magazines from that Lisa was trying

to manipulate her into taking she didn't take them so that was a fail what was the Maloof stuff about Maloof selling stories Maloof admitted that that was her maid and she apologized to Lisa for accusing her of that. What exactly are you, what were you puppeteering into doing, you stupid?

Yeah, I think the only thing I can imagine would be if someone said, you know, Lisa has these opinions about people, and then she makes you feel them too, and then you go and you say them, and then people get mad at you, and then meanwhile makes you feel them too and then you go and you say them and then people get mad at you and then meanwhile lisa actually she has no you know nothing yeah i can understand that now that

would be you and rena's real fight should have been okay i just sat here and talked about much as and you guys are pretending you've never heard it when i've talked to you both about it you've been sending each other texts about it like just be honest and say what you were thinking you don't believe her either just say it that i would have been down for it you said yeah you're making me look like i'm the only one but you guys were part of it too but even that which i guess is what she's sort of saying but even that it's it's it's questionable and and again the thing is the reason why there's even an issue about this is because Yolanda has taken this pious stance that to even, you know, like, cough a shred of doubt her way is to be like just an evil, awful, callous human being.

So now, you know, now they're all on guard, like, like, oh, like, you know, they're like afraid to say that they they even mentioned it or question it. I mean, now they are. Towards the end of the reunion, they're like, yeah, we laughed about it because they're so exhausted by this whole topic. But there shouldn't be any shame or embarrassment about this, especially if you're a public figure and you're on a TV show and you're making this, your quote-unquote journey, a big thing

and you're putting up photos that seem to contradict each other. People have questions. Maybe they should have gone to her to ask them. Maybe. And they've admitted that they were insensitive about that. But like, essentially, Yolanda has sat there

and enjoyed watching these women go at it, you know, because they're fighting over her. And it's just, it gets me so mad. Yeah, it's so stupid. I'm so glad this season is over. When I finished the recap, I was like, bye-bye, bitch. I'm so over it

um but some things were funny like the fact that erica and katherine cannot be entertaining no matter how hard they try and i know that everybody loves erica i'm still not a hater yeah but i just can't love her and i know that i should but she's an asshole she lies about every single thing with a straight face and then she's like when she's trying, her and Catherine are trying to muster up the energy to fight. They're exhausted. Everyone's exhausted. They can barely do it. And she goes, well, Catherine, do you want me to tell Lisa that you called her a harmless old lady?

And Catherine said, I never called her a harmless old lady. She goes, yes, you did. You called me and you called her. And she's pointing right in Lisa's face. You called her a harmless old lady. And it cuts to Vanderpump and she just shrugs. She's not old or harmless. And then they both started cracking up in the chair.

And Erica, they can't even fight. And Erica's like, I swear on my son's life. And Catherine's like, well, I swear on the Bible. I'm like, well, your husband doesn't know how to pronounce Westminster and Abby and you left your son when he was three. How about you both stop swearing on important things right now? Because you're both fucking liars. Just stop it.

Yeah, I agree with you. I like Erica. She's fine. But I have not become someone who loves her. And so many people really, really love her. But I guess maybe because also we really look at these shows so so so closely and we dissect everything and the more that we dissect it the more we understand we sort of see flaws and things and i think if i were just sort of watching casually i probably would love her too but the more we talk

about her and and the more we realize that she hasn't let us in and that she's sort of as humorless uh it's just kind of yeah if she were if her personality were as fun as her cultivated personality i would love it yeah she just leaves me a little cold you know she has moments where she where she'll like laugh and show some personality it's like oh oh oh there that's i like that keep doing that you know but um yeah she's so far she's boring but you know i will see in season two that's always the best one what else happened in this I love that they were attacking the husband they were attacking

Ken and Lisa's like darling well I can't stop Ken darling you know he's a man he does whatever he wants to I can't stop him and he's like yeah but wouldn't you be mad if someone else's husband did that to you she's like well yeah of course I would be pissed off yeah it's like okay well what do you want me to do apologize for ken i can't you know he says

it's him so that's this clip about ken being mean to everybody i was dying because he's such a bitchy queen you know he really he really is and he he goes off and by the way lisa and ken never turn on each other ever they like lisa's always gonna be like i can't do it i can't like they they are fiercely loyal which is pretty great and you know and i i get the sense that um lisa and harry hamlin are too and um i you know i think that lisa renna has a right to be upset by what ken said because it was it was just nasty the only you know the thing that makes that was hilarious they're like we would be mortified and then lisa whips out her phone she's like do you know what he called me baby he called me a whore an idiot a donkey a wanker a piece of shit she's like i never called you a wanker

i love when lisa vanderpump draws a line suddenly a fake a line that's wrong by the way it's always the same pattern is always semantics and she's always wrong i know know. You did say wanker. The thing is, what was I going to say about these fools, these silly, silly fools? Their husbands? Yeah, the husbands. I'm trying to remember. I just think it's hilarious.

It's like they're yelling at Ken, but Harry Hamlin won't even come on the show. And then the other husband is like gambling away Eileen's money. It's like, why don't you guys stop bringing up your husbands? They won't even be here on the show with you, okay? Ken is the best old queen we've ever had. If anything, Ken should be hosting these shows. All right, listen here, you stupid wanker.

Don't say that to my wife. The thing that makes me sad about this is, you know, Lisa Vanderpump in her blogs, we read one a few weeks ago, but in her blogs, in her tweets, she's gone to the dark side and she's gone to, she's gone, she's started to get like full on nasty. And it bothers me because the thing that she always had was being above it all. And for her to finally get dragged into it, and I understand why she's exhausted, she can't do it anymore. But for her to do that,

it gives them so much ammo that's so unnecessary. Like, it makes me mad. And it also makes me sad for their friendship because she's actually now saying things that are going to do real damage to her friendship with Rinna. I mean, Rinna's already done a lot of really bad things, but Vanderpump is now, now like she's really ruining it.

And for some reason, I'm like really invested in their friendship getting repaired. So I'm like I'm upset. I think it's the sidekick thing. I don't think that anybody likes feeling like a sidekick. And I think Rinna felt it because she turned right after that Ohio trip. She got pissed on it and then she she turned. Like, very shortly after. And it happened also with Brandy. Brandy didn't like feeling like a sidekick

and this and that, because they're doing scenes where Lisa gets to show off all of her money and be wacky, and she's thinking she's doing someone a favor. Like, oh, we're gonna be like Lucy and Ethel. I'm Lucy, obviously, darling. And no one wants to be Ethel. I mean, God bless her.

She's married to Fred. Especially if you're an actressred especially if you're an actress if you're yeah especially if you're an actress who as much as she jokes about you know like doing these random gigs for the money you know no actress wants to be number two yeah so we'll see i mean i'm just glad it's over i'm glad it's over too i i hope they can repair their friendship just because you you know, I want them to. I don't know if they can, to be honest. And one of the reasons why they probably won't be able to is because I don't think Vanderpump would allow Rinna back in. I think she cuts you off. You're done when she's done with you.

I mean, she and Kyle are close, but Kyle has come for Vanderpump, but never the way that Rinna has. Like, she got mad at Vanderpump, but she'd do, like, a crying thing, like, I thought you were my friend, and you just, like, I don't know, like, you treat me bad, and why would you do this? It's like a crying, sad fight. Kyle's really good at manipulation, you know, because she's good at making you feel like, I made a mistake, but I need you! And really, all Lisa Vanderpump needs is for people to need her that's all she needs that's why all of her animals limp that being said rinna is really good

at like an apology tour she does it really well i can see her being like turns right around and does it right in the same sentence she disses you again it's like that's your lime is your art baby yeah we thought you were faking because you're an idiot. But oh, I care. And then she's nodding like she cares. I love that she can't make up her crazy mind. Yeah. The problem is, this is all Eileen's fault. It really is.

Because Rinna was seeing things in a very clear way. And then Eileen, because she had her own axe to grind with Vanderpump, decided, you know, like the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So in this case, Yolanda. And she decided to hop on the Yolanda train and turn Rinna, and she could turn Rinna because they're besties, and you know, it's too bad. I think this is also Vanderpump's fault,

honestly, just because she cannot communicate. She can't. If Eileen came to me with that, I would just say, Eileen, I get that I hurt your feelings, that was not my intention. I wanted a juicy story about you fucking with that. I would just say, Eileen, I get that I hurt your feelings. That was not my intention. I wanted a juicy story about you fucking some dude. I'm sorry if it's offensive. I guess that it would embarrass you on TV, but I don't think you should have any reason to be embarrassed.

It's love. Who cares? Or whatever her opinion is, she won't share it on this show. She's very careful. Kyle teaches her very well how to apologize. And this one, she's like, all right, I'll show up and I'll just keep saying sorry over and over in a meaningless way and then go home you know she's not even fazed by it anymore but you see when she gets on vanderpump rules and what her real well her other fake personality who knows which one is real but the other side of

her personality when she'll tell everybody off call them on all their shit and still like them i think that that's a really good personality to have on this show. And I wish she would use it on this show and just say, well, you did cheat. So what? So you ruined other families. She would say it in a way like that. So you ruined another family as long as you're in love, darling. Whatever.

I don't even care how she is if she's a total bitch. I would just rather see more of her personality because this sad old lady thing is hilarious when she pulls out the victim card but it's officially too much it's like all right yeah she vanderpump needs to learn how to communicate with these women i think that there is a cultural issue and she you know kyle was coaching her a little bit but vanderpump needs some like corporate training training. Because sometimes people just don't know. Not even being nice, because she's already got that in her. It's not even how to deal with people. It's how to deal against them.

I would rather see her giving shade and really earning this villain title. Because people have been trying to give her this crown for years. Take it. Take the villain crown and just be a fucking bitch. I would love that but what these women never realize is that the more they go for they come after lisa vanderpump the more the audience just loves her you know we all love the person who's being bullied i mean we loved brandy at first because she was being bullied we loved well i still haven't fallen in love with erica but it's going to be her turn at some point. Yeah, she needs to – she has to step up next season and do something.

Either she's going to be the queen or she'll be the bitch, whatever it is, but she's got to do it. Yeah. Well, I'm glad it's over. Bye, Beverly Hills. Good lord, man. Yeah, good lord. And that's it for us. And with the burp at the end of that gigantic meal.

I just burped out the last of the Beverly Hills season. I burped it out. It's the stinky burp. See ya, BH. All right. Well, everyone, thanks so much for listening to our little show here. You can follow us on Facebook

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don't forget to book at your mama suckas love you guys bye Your mama, suckas. Love you guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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