Watch What Crappens - #2907 Below Deck S12E05: Curl, Interrupted

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Things are not looking good for the bosun on Below Deck. But at least Solène got to enjoy some bisoux with “Scottish”. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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My name is TJ Raphael. I'm the host of Liberty Lost, a new podcast about who gets to be a mother and the control of young women hidden behind the veil of faith. Binge all episodes of Liberty Lost ad free right now on Wondery Plus. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is the glorious and joyful Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. How's it going?

Hi. So good. How are you? I am so good. We are here today to talk below deck and just an FYI, we are taking next Monday off, so, or next Tuesday. So we won't have a below deck recap next week, but we'll be back with below deck in two weeks. But just give me the heads up so you're not like, wait, where's the below deck recap? Well, you know, also we're not gonna have Miami this week.

So I guess we should announce that now. So people aren't like, where's Miami, what the hell? There will to have Miami this week. So I guess we should announce that now. So people aren't like, where's Miami? What the hell? There will be no Miami this week. You know, it sucks to take shows off. We don't even like doing it. We're like, how are we going to take a break but still do all the seven shows or eight shows

or whatever we're doing? We're not, we're just going to cut some. Yeah. Unfortunately, part of taking a break is taking a break. And unfortunately, Miami is, yeah, we're not going to record on Thursday. So we're sorry. And unfortunately Miami is, yeah, we're not gonna record on Thursday, so we're sorry. And we hate to do it to Miami because we wanna just support Miami with all our heart.

But we'll check in next week and sort of catch everyone up with what we missed, et cetera. But yeah, so that's the news about Below Deck. And you know, come join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch or crappens to watch on video. Hi crappers on demand. So let's figure out what I've done to my shaving. I'm trying to figure out how to shave a beard and I can't shave it. Right. So then I ended up having to shave it off cause it was all uneven.

But then I just use like a reg, like not a blade, but like a shaver. And then I've left some long hairs that are hitting my lip and they're making me freaking crazy. Maybe you should go to a barber and like get some tips. I'm not gonna do that because I'm a bald person and one good thing about being bald is not having to pay barbers. I'm gonna watch it.

It's a one time barber things that way. That's a hundred dollars. You know, teach a man to fish. Teach a man to fish. You know, don't just buy the fish. Learn to fish with your beard, okay? Get a professional to show you how to make a nice beard and then you can always make yourself a nice beard.

I'm finding a professional on TikTok. That's where I get my therapy now. It's where I'm gonna get my hair trimming stuff. I don't know, I tried to learn how to give myself a fade on TikTok and YouTube and it did not work, so, you know, but you know, beard is much more manageable. Yeah, beard is much more manageable than doing a fade in a mirror. Like when you're like looking behind your head and trying to like fade things and blend and you're like, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, that's a lot.

Yeah, it's hard. Anyway, the point is, today is below deck. Okay. And also Love Island is over on Patreon, as well as our videos. Okay. Let's get into it. Okay. Previously. Yes. Okay. And also Love Island is over on Patreon as well as our videos. Okay. Let's get into it. Okay. Previously, Kyle is having trouble managing his team. Okay. You know what? Frank and Fraser and Deimo kissed and so did Carl and Selane. Okay. Everybody's kissing. Sid, This is going on. A lot of kissing. Mm-hmm. A lot of kissing. So for those people who are interested in that, I'm excited for you because you're getting

a lot of great content. For people like me who just like to see people struggling with their jobs, a little disappointed. I feel like we're just fast forwarding over chargers now. This is the second charter in a row that they just zipped over an entire day. I mean, these are not the most compelling guests, but why are we spending so much time watching Kyle and Selaine flirt when we could be watching Rainbow having another meltdown about streaks on a mirror? I don't understand why they're doing this to me. Trey Lockerbie Well, it's so weird that you feel like that because you love Love Island so much,

you know, but that show knows it's lame, you know, that's what I'm tuning in when I tune in for love island, I'm tuning in for love on content when I tune in for below deck, I'm tuning in for Windex content and I'm getting love island content. Yeah, it's not right maids fighting not making out. Okay. Yes. So, Celine is like, Oh, very good to see last night. I told you, see, how do you want the bed?

I do bet how you want you tell me me how you want bed, it's so good. And Kyle's like, good, but it could have been better. And Kyle's saying, oh, it's been a year since I've been disinterested. You know why it's been a year? Because here's what Kyle does in his downtime. He goes to a bar in a kilt and gets shit-faced and possibly makes out with other dudes.

That's all he does. He's a fall down alcoholic. The only time he's sober enough to even flirt with a girl is when he's filming this show. Trey Lockerbie That's correct. So then Kerry is like, good morning. All right, we're going to leave at 10 10am sharp for brunch because I'm don't forget I'm taking you all to brunch because the guys didn't pay you any tip money. So I'm going to take you get some French toast and some eggs to make up for the, you know, $300 that you didn't get. So Fraser's like, Oh, Damo, I just remembered we made out last night. You did not just remember. Okay.

You still got your penis in your hand from last night. And he's like, Oh yeah, yeah, it was a pass. We had a pass last night. And he's like, Oh, but I told my boyfriend I wouldn't do that Okay, do you even believe he has a boyfriend? I don't Know I think he's like us. Yeah, does it even count if it's five you've seen each other five days in a year No, that's not right Do I think I cheated absolutely not it would not bother me if my boyfriend was like to make out with one of the street Man friends. I mean if it's not the gay men fine

I get it because I would be the one who's most disgusting in that trio there. But it wouldn't be that cool. It wouldn't be cool. That said, my boyfriend and I's schedules haven't been compatible and it's been a bit tough. So then we see Celine fall down the stairs for the third time this season. I don't understand why she has so much trouble just doing the last five stairs like normal stairs. Like why does she just feel the need to throw herself off the staircase into the wall every single time she goes down that staircase? Also,

why are her ankles made out of like rubber and she never gets hurt when I hurt my back, like literally sitting down the other day, I sat down to watch TV and I was like out of my back. And I also want to know how Celine's ankles are made out of rubber and she doesn't ever get hurt like I hurt myself literally sitting down to go to the bathroom like two weeks ago I sat down I was like on my back and it's been hurting for two weeks and meanwhile this dumbass is like flinging herself downstairs and she's fine what the hell yeah I just I don't understand why she can't

just go down those last four or five stairs like a normal human being. Like, I don't know why she flings herself off and into that hallway wall every single time. I just don't know, like, she's just so eager to get off the staircase that she's like, I'm willing to risk paralysis just to get off these steps.

But those are spiral staircases, right? That's a spiral staircase, right? It is, but like- Because that's what it is. Because I used to have one of those and I slept in like the little loft and everyone was like, don't do that, Ronnie. You're gonna fall. And I was like, no, I'm not. If I have to pee in the middle of the night, you just come down the- it's easy. It's like a little staircase. I slid down that thing every fucking day. Cause you, you know, it doesn't make any sense. It's like going in a curve and then I would slide down and.

I don't know. I was raised with a spiral staircase. We have a little loft in this house and that was where the TV was. And I would go for maybe 30, 40 years. I went up and down that spiral staircase without any issue. But I also feel like, I don't know if this is a correct assumption, but I feel like because Selena is French, she should be extra good at a spiral staircase.

I feel like it just feels like something that French people are really good at. I feel like there's a lot of cathedrals in France that probably have a lot of spiral staircases going up the spires. I just think it's like in French blood to be like Yeah, or like uneven streets Yeah I feel I feel like you're right French people should have a stronger gait than the rest of us French people She just really know how to do a spiral staircase. I just think it's just like part of their DNA. Yeah Yeah, I agree get it together French people

French people are great. It's so Len who's not like living up to her heritage. Like it's like her saying like, I can't really tell the difference between cheeses or you know, wine is like whatever to me. Like, are you even French if you don't like cheese, wine or spiral staircases? Yeah, yeah. Just give up your citizenship already, so lane. Yeah. So I don't know what they call it in France. I'm guessing it's not ice because they don't like giving you ice, right? But just get rid of your citizenship, Solane, okay? If you can't come down the spiral staircase, you're done here.

So Damo is telling us that, because they're going to St. Barts for brunch. So we talked about how it's super ritzy and like, he's like, but don't worry. He's like, I don't need to dress like a wanker to be a wanker here. I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't be too worried about how you're dressing based on what everyone else is wearing, including KO who's like in just like a stringy tank top.

And then they- No one is expecting anything from the men on below deck, trust me. The women go like they're being nominated for an Oscar award every time they go out to eat. And the men just go in board shorts, you know, in a stained T-shirt. And that's it.

I also like, I'm gonna pull up my calculator for this cause I need to do a last minute calculation to make this point here. So the gays tipped, what like 19,000, right? Which is like- Well almost 20, it was like $10 short of 20. Okay, well I'm gonna say 19,000, right? Which is like $10, sort of 20. Okay. Well I'm going to say 19,000. Um, and like this, this episode they got tipped around 28,000. So 28,000. So that's,

that's basically like a $10,000 difference. $10,000 divided by how many people, about nine people. That's about a, everyone missed out on about a thousand dollars worth of revenue. So I just love that's like, well, you all didn't get $1,000 worth of tip money. You're going to get a free omelet. Enjoy. That's basically what this brunch is about. We're making it up to you with an egg and a bagel. But it's in St. Barts. So it's a fancy egg. So Fraser, you know, really leaning into being a good leader.

He's like, All right, why don't we go around the table and say one thing we hate about each other? Go. Okay, I'll start on I'll start with everybody. And my answer is everything. All right, Celine, go ahead. Wait, I'd like to add something. You're absolutely disgusting. You're hideous. I don't even know why I'm here. I can't even bear to look at you. Okay, that was for me.

Now, everyone else go on, it's your turn. So Selene points to Barbara and she goes, you, you so bitch, you so bitch. And she's like, no, I don't hate anything about you. And I love that these two found a friendship. I don't know where. God damn it. I love it. Where did it happen?

They were bickering so much, then suddenly they like love each other. And Rainbow's just like watching. And she's like jealous because Rainbow doesn't know how to connect to other women or other people or vacuum cleaners. And she's like, well, I personally find it hard to connect with girls in general,

because all I wanna do is just grab them by the hair and just slam them into some dirt on an island in the middle of Holland. So connecting with these girls is just kind of tricky. It's just like a little triggering because I've had two older sisters and you know, we all volunteered as tribute that one time and we heard the cannon go off and we're like, okay. And you know, some, some I've had to slurred through, but that's just what you have to do. We'll win the trophy, right? Yeah. It really does hurt a little bit on the inside, mostly because of my sisters would

knee me in the ribs so I wouldn't get bruised. So, yeah, it hurts. Everything affects me. I'm just trying not to let it show. Does it show? It does show. And any girl who says they can't get along with other girls, I'm on the other girl's side. Yeah, so automatically on the side of your sisters because the other girls are not the problem on this boat, ma'am. You are. Now that's being said, you're not even that much of a problem, Rainbow. I like Rainbow. I think Rainbow's kind of cool. You know, she's just her dad made her fight her sisters in like a cage fight.

You know, what do you expect from her? Yeah, she just, I think she's in her head too much, but like, how do I relate to other women? And we see her over the course of the episode trying to apply techniques she's seen on TV. Like, oh, I noticed that this person behaves in this way, so I will behave in that way. She's sort of like robotic. Like, this should work. Yeah, it's like very Dexter, like serial killer,

like kind of mimicking normal behaviors or whatever she considers to be normal behaviors. Yeah, she does a lot of like, oh my God, girl, can I just hug you and give you kisses? Which, you know, if you're watching Love Island, that's what they do. But if you're watching, I don't know, Orange is the New Black, that's not what they do.

And she's more Orange is the New Black. Well, it's just like her attempts at like, like girly affection towards her lady friends is not really earned. She just sort of declares it like, oh my God. And the other person's like, we don't have that relationship. So this is weird. You know? Yeah. She's trying to be like fun girly, but it comes off as like sexual harassment in the workplace a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, and her name is rainbow spelled wrong. So it's like, it makes it worse. You know, it's like, I got, you know, I got touched by my boss, rain be out, you know, it's like, it makes it worse. You know, it's like, I got, you know, I got touched by my boss, Rain B.O. You know, it's like, you're not gonna, it's not gonna hold up well in court is what I'm saying. You're just, everybody's gonna be confused. They're gonna put you in jail for spelling your name wrong. Yeah.

I, that's the worst kind of jail. With the side of sexual harassment. Spelling jail. Well, I mean, Celine's going to spiral staircase gel. So a lot of terrible things. No one would convict Celine of anything. And that's the thing that I think makes people like Rainbow crazy. It's like, how does she get away with it? You know, her eyebrows are weird and nobody says anything to her.

But Rainbow just has like a certain je ne sais quoi. Yeah. So Rainbow asked Cahau about his family and he's like, oh, well, my sister's in Spain and my dad moved to Spain because Brazil is a fucking jungle man. And they're like, really? He's like, yeah, I mean, if you're a tourist, the best fucking country in the world, but if you're a citizen, it's shit. And then the tile of photos comes up and it's a chaos segment. And he's like, social time is the last thing on my mind right now. The job is not flowing yet, but adjusting to the style that we have on this boat with the captain, there's just like a long way to go and my job is just on the line

and I really care about it. It's a stressing time. Here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and then we just go back to the brunch. I don't understand went into the camera. Squint hair, hair. I think I'm going to need the post production department just to chillax a little bit. I'm like all these anytime someone speaks, the fact that they bring up this, all these photos and the big thing on my screen that's like, K-ow, and then they speak for three seconds and then we go back to the scene. It just is so over the top.

I think we could just like go back to the way it used to be, which is that people just talk normally. I think this is too much. Well, I think if you had people. I'm trying too hard to make it seem like exciting. I think if you have people with like more fascinating Instagrams, it would be okay. But this is like the below deck cast and their Instagrams like wow, Kyle in board shorts.

Wow, Kyle on board shorts again. Oh my god, you guys, it's Kyle on a cliff in board shorts. Guys, it's Kyle looking, it's Kyle squinting with hair. I also don't understand how every time they talk about their childhood, we see photos of them when they were like four years old and it always looks like it's 1973. I'm like, half these people were born in 2001, 2002.

Why are the photos such poor quality? Yeah, you guys were born when the iPhone 12 was out. I don't even want to hear it from you. Although I do blame that on Instagram filtering because you remember when everybody used to use filters on every pic to make it look like it was 1970? Yeah, and it had like an automatic frame on it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's ridiculous. These photos, I'm like, I'm looking at a picture of my grandma Sally over here, and that was taken like 1948, and it's like better quality than half the blow-dack pictures. I swear to God. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. We acting bad, bad, bad, bad. We ain't trying to hurt nobody.

For decades, he was untouchable. I've gone from Harlow to Hollywood. But now it's all coming undone. Sean Combs, the mogul as we know it, is over. He will never be that person again, even if he's found not guilty of these charges. I'm Jesse Weber, host of Law and Crime's The Rise and Fall of Ditty, The Federal Trial. A front row seat to the biggest trial in entertainment history, sex trafficking racketeering prostitution allegations by federal prosecutors that span decades and witnesses were finally speaking out.

The spotlight is harsher the stakes are higher and for did there may be no second chances you can listen to the rise and fall of did the federal trial Trial exclusively with Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple Podcast right now. Today is the worst day of Abby's life. The 17-year-old cradles her newborn son in her arms. They all saw how much I loved him.

They didn't have to take him from me. Between 1945 and the early 1970s, families shipped their pregnant teenage daughters to maternity homes and forced them to secretly place their babies for adoption. In hidden corners across America, it's still happening. My parents had me locked up in the godparent home

against my will. They worked with them to manipulate me and to steal my son away from me. The godparent home is the brainchild of controversial preacher Jerry Falwell, the father of the modern evangelical right and the founder of Liberty University, where powerful men, emboldened by their faith, determine who gets to be a parent and who must give their child away. Follow Liberty Lost on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So Fraser's like, so guys, did we have fun last night? And Deema was like, I had a great time. I can imagine. Wait, I just remembered that we had a fun time. I definitely was not thinking

about it all this time. And Barbara's like, yeah, you guys should kiss again just for safety. He's like, I'll do that. If I'm ever on the phone to my boyfriend though, we don't mention it because baby girls, baby boys, are we ready to go? That's why. Just don't mention it. We're going to go because mommy's ready to spendy spendy. So they go do some high end shopping and Carrie's like, dead crew, we're going to try to make a three o'clock bridge. We got a double time. I want marching.

I want docks. I want ropes that come out of boats with hefty things at the end in case we crash into things. You got it? I want adventure. All right, we've got to hit the ground running. Well, swimming. Well, if we're swimming, I guess we're fucked, aren't adventure? All right, we got to hit the ground running well swimming. Well, we're swimming. I guess we fucked aren't we if we're swimming Can't the water sit we're gonna hit the water running, but we're gonna be hitting the water swimming

But you can't be swimming right now. So you should be at the water boating you get what I mean getting lost the metaphor Anyway, okay. Oh, you've got something to say and he's like, yes Can I can throw back on the boat? He's like, can I can we bring everything in? Can I bring the tender in? Yeah, I mean, dude, that's what I said downstairs. Remember I said, bring the tender in. We don't have time to be discussing these three times. Okay, let's roll. Let's roll. Let's roll. Damn it. I did it three times again. So Selene is talking to Fraser and she's like, can I tell you something? I kissed I kissed yesterday, but when we were kissing, I felt a oooooh, tonk tonk, and she hits a big flashlight that's hanging on

the wall. And she's like, so now I feel mmmm, oh la la, beezoo. Oh, so now you want his dick is basically what you're trying to say to me. That's a yes, is it? And she's like, Oui, oui, oui, bonjour. It's like, okay, cast off slut, go to work and never come back. He's like, okay, cast off slut, go to work and never come back. So then anchor's rising, we're going to Saint-Balting. And so Rainbow is trying this like super nice girly thing now, which we were talking about earlier with Soley. And she's like, um, do you have any questions, my love?

And she's like, no, can I have a hug? Can I just have a hug from you? I was like, okay, I hug you. Okay, you are hugging very hard. Very hard. You're hugging me very hard. Ow, ow, you're hurting me. I cannot breathe. Oh my God, I'm suffocating in French. I'm suffocating in French. I'm just feeling so alone, sort of like how I sat on that little island in the lake for three days waiting for my father to fetch me while my sister's dying corpse was at my knees. And I can just get very emotional. And I know that about myself. I think I'm

just like, I'm just like a hard person. And then they show flashbacks of her like going nuts, culminating of course in the clip they're going to show all season, which is her having a bad attack with the vacuum. I mean, you can't really control how other people feel about you. So you just gotta keep on trying and you know, I'm just doing my best. And so lane is not falling for it. She's like, eat this fake, eat this fake. I don't like, so she's a rainbow's like, okay, so lane,

I just need the fitted sheet, the elastic. Is this the elastic sheet? The fitted one. The one with the mixed circle, which one is this fitted? How's it fit like that? Who makes trying on for sheet? Does it do it itself? Do beds change size?

Or why they need to size the fitted why you need to measure a bed it's fitted sheet it's the fitted sheets of land just just get the game is footed fitted fitted she fatted fitted she's a sheet that we're not shaming the sheet now huh that's not nice I don't like you she called sheet fat she called sheet fat fitted she I don't like it. You do it. You do it fat shame of sheet. You don't have shame of sheet. I'm done here. Goodbye. Goodbye. That makes you fat. The sheet made fettuccine.

So she literally says fettuccine and I remember I was like fettuccine. She's like, yes or no. Have it or no. Have it or no. You have fettuccine or no? Why are we talking? You got fettuccine? Put fettuccine for me.

All right. All right, everyone. We're going to approach the worst bridge in the entire world. So everyone get ready. We're going to put some fenders out, which is a pretty standard practice. You know, I don't think anyone ever really misses up. It's just fenders fenders go off the side of the boat I think they're watching a lot of below deck and I don't think in any season No one has ever messed up the simple rule of putting a fender out on the side of the boat. Okay, let's get through this

So funny. They just like kind of put one fender a little bit over Like are you are you working like the bangs of the boat? Are we like trying to small little raid? It's like it's when the fenders come out. It's like they do like little bra working on the bangs of the boat? Are we trying to style this now? It's like a small little braid. It's like, when the fenders come out, it's like they do little braids on the boat. You know, like when, you know, like, like I remember in, like, in middle school, like the white girls would always go off to the Caribbean, they'd come back after spring break,

they'd all have their braids, and they're like, oh my God, I want to take a ride down. And it's like, that's what happens to the boat when they go through the, when they put the fenders out, like it comes up with braids, like it went on spring break. And then, but this case they did like the one little small braid, like it wasn't as long as the others. And it's like, okay, whatever. I didn't get to go on that trip because, you know, I didn't have the money. And also I was working at the bowling alley at the time

because of child labor. But my friend came back with those braids and she's like, do you want me to do them for you? Because I learned how to do them in St. John. And I was like, yeah, fuck yeah. Cause I had long hair at the time. And so she did my braids like that. And she used these big colored rubber bands on my hair and my mom would not go to a restaurant with me. She's like, you're staying in the car.

You look idiotic. I refuse to take you out in public until you take those things out. Oh my God. You're like, my name's Emily now. Like what? Well, I got braids on spring. I'm really into tent living and my dream is to start a theater in a tent on St. John, which I've never been to, but I've heard is amazing.

So we work for tips basically. So, so now they're approaching this bridge and it's the usual chaos because no one's communicating and carries losing his mind. Everyone get to position. All right. All right. I got a swing. Okay, watch my swing. Okay. Okay. Okay. Watch my swing. Watch my swing. And Kayo's like, what did he say? Watch my swing. I need you to talk on the radio. Say something. And Kayo's like, what did he say? Watch my swing. I need you to talk on the radio. Say something. And he was like, uh, my name is Luca. No, I live on the second floor. Come on. What's our distance? I live upstairs from you. Call it distance. I guess you've never seen me before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. KO. Not Susan Vega. Get to work. So then so then he's like, Oh,

could you repeat that please captain? He's like, Oh, fucking idiot. I'm turning the boat. Okay. I know you do. Come watch my swing. What's my project? What's my projected swing? KO. And Fraser just looks out the window and he's like, well, this is not going very well, is it? Like, we're doing, we're doing, we're about to hit the dock in there. He's like, 20 meters to the dock. I mean, two meters.

I mean, one meter, mm, 0.5, it's smooth. And then Kerry's like, wait a second, what's this fucking vendor doing? He has not the right heart, why? Like the vendor's just like at the top. It's just like on the edge, like hasn't even gone over it. The heavener's like, I'm sorry. I'm just like not really comfortable going over the side of this boat right now. Why have we got tiny bangs on

the fender? Why have we got tiny bangs on the boat? Come on, someone fix the goddamn bangs on the fender. You cannot just grow out bangs. Yeah. Listen, listen, what I say is this boat needs to have fender bangs like it's a burl ass dancer, okay? Severe and long. Get to it! So that was a fuck up, but they made it. You know, they made it. So alright, Kaio, Kaio, get over here.

We've got to talk alone. There's some things that happened here and they were on you, mate. Now listen, I don't care if your name is Luca. I don't care if you're from the second floor. You're gonna pay attention, all right? He's like, okay. And K.O. just gives him that squinty confused look. It's like I was just squinting but wide open

and he's looking around like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I'm nodding my hair at you, so. Consider yourself hair nodded. Now I shouldn't have to ask three times what the fuck's going on behind one. This well, all right. Well, I'll say it again. I shouldn't have to ask three times for what the fuck's going on. But what I'm trying to say is I shouldn't have to ask three times. Fender, Fender, Fender. I got it.

This vendor here was sitting too high. So if, if, if I were to smack that doc with the fender up, it would have, it would have been my fault. So your fault, so my fault and my fault, your fault. And then a lot of other people's faults and guess what? San Andreas fault, my fault. So I've got to have someone in place that doesn't make errors like that. Okay. And because you're so inept and you're so terrible and you're so clearly not supposed to be on this boat. I'm going to give you one more chance, one more charter. And my eyes are going to be on this boat. I'm gonna give you one more chance. One more charter. And my eyes are gonna be on you.

Um, thank you so much. I just wanted to say one thing before I go. 20 meters, 20 meters. All right. All right. It's a little bit too late, mate. We got to pass the bridge. 20 meters. All right. Safety is first. All right. Period. All right. I want period safety. If you're on your period, please be near a floating device. That's it. He's got one last chance of going into this charter. He's got to pull a rabbit out of the hat to stay in the vessel.

No, I didn't mean that literally. You could put the actual, I don't know where you got that rabbit from. K.O. It's the one time you actually do the thing that I said. Laura is sitting somewhere watching this at home like, Oh, finally, my skills were appreciated. True magician in a bunny costume. Lil is watching also from somewhere in Long Island being like, ah, so I wanted to

be able to do that trick. Pull back to summer house, Lil. Anyway, so okay. I was like, okay, everyone. So I just spoke to Cap and we need to think that what we can do better, and I need you guys to use your brains and not just follow orders, okay? So that fender, that one was high.

Who suggested that? They're like, Jess is like, me? Okay, okay, I was okay with it because of the bridge. It makes sense, but then you would have to lower it. So, and if I wasn't for that, it wouldn't have happened. So you have to be better, because I'm the one who's getting yelled at right now. Yeah, but it wasn't only the fender, sir Like you had him hitting the dock. That's not good

I mean, come on. It's not all Jess, although I still don't understand the high fender and so justice mad now She's like this is bullshit. I'm tired of chaos spreading the blame on everybody else because like what you see from a leader You know, you want them to take responsibility I'm sorry what kind of leaders have you grown up around because I've never seen leaders take responsibility for shit the whole point of being a leader is to blame other people yeah exactly do you have so do you have American news where you are I know I was like I was like should I take it there should I be political I I mean, just in general, it doesn't even matter what side you're on.

I mean, just in general, the whole point in leading the country is to blame somebody else for whatever is going on. So now it's time for the preference sheet meetings. So Kara's like, all right, everyone, we've got a family coming on board, a husband, a wife, two adult sons, primary's brother coming,

and I'll just tell you this right now, this is a boring. We're going to fast forward over most of the chatter again, two in a row. All right, you ready for this? I'd like to announce this. Ronnie sat down, watched his eagle-eyed, even took a few notes, does not remember one person from this family. So good luck. Jack Finn is our primary. Oh, wait, Fraser, why don't you say this part? Jack Finn is our disgusting primary. And he Fraser, why don't you say this part? Jack Finn is our disgusting primary and he sold his engineering firm and is now reveling in retirement with boundless leisure, unlike me, who still must answer to some nebulous boyfriend that exists somewhere in the world.

And he also owns a sailboat. You know that they write their own, their own bios because this one's ridiculous. Stability engineering firm is now reveling in retirement. Really? Really Jack Finn? That's what she wrote. So, um, Carrie's like, all right now, look at Darlene. She broke her room. Hell skiing, hell skiing, hell, heli-skiing.

What the fuck is that? Skiing helicopters, I take it. Fucking ridiculous. She lucky she didn't break her neck. She just got out of a cast and they're having a 25th anniversary their first date. So two beach excursions on this trip. The first day they're going to go to Mullet Bay where Ben Mandelkow had a cherish childhood memory in first grade. And we're going to have a beach party and there's a volleyball court

there. And the following day we're going to go to Anguilla and they're gonna want to do a full moon party I just want to make sure everyone hears this so that way people know what this show is gonna fast-forward over all right right now the husband is a kind of a wacky guy he wants you to fly over Anguilla in a helicopter and have the helicopter say something like I won stupid and then his wife can just cry and cry and cry with a full moon out on me nothing like losing while your full ass is pointing up at the sky in Anguilla. All right. In the afternoon, they like a beach setup where they can eat lunch and have a competitive

game of beach volleyball. Oh, I love beach volleyball against the yacht crew. I'm like, I don't I don't I don't like competition against the crew. Another thing that everybody loves on a luxury, a luxury vacation, dilly-dallying with poor people. Socializing with the help. So Kyle tells Selim, he's like, you look beautiful, by the way. Oh, thank you. It's because my dress is very short.

And also if I don't feel very good about myself, I stand next to sheet He's like, you look beautiful by the way. She's like, oh, thank you. It's because my dress is very short. And also if I don't feel very good about myself, I stand next to sheet because sheet is fat. This is what I hear. So I always look still next to fat sheet. It is okay to bully sheets. You know that, right? So, so yeah, it looks beautiful. So have you ever fell in love or fell down staircase?

He's like, yes, a couple of times for both. Yeah, how about you? Two times, it was staircase and I was just today. Then three times yesterday, but also love. Oh, yeah, two times for me too. Yeah, it's the worst. It's the best and the worst is love. So then she talks about being in love

and how she was in love when she was 22 and she's like, he left me four times in two years. And all the time I fell in love deeper how she was in love when she was 22. And she's like, he left me four times in two years. And all the time I fell in love deeper and deeper and deeper. So all the time worse and worse and worse and worse. My dad take me to emergency because I was so sad I stopped eat and I couldn't, I couldn't eat. I couldn't eat. Not even what you call fatucini. I don't know. I would rather have someone break my finger than break my heart. Yeah. I was obviously selfish when I was younger, but then I learned to be selfish. So now I'm selfish.

And I say, no, I don't love you. And then you go to the hospital, you don't eat. And then I break your finger. And he's like, oh, God, that's your energy so hot. I mean, obviously you're attractive as hell. Because he goes, what do you like on me? You tell me what you like on me. He's like, oh, well, you're sexy, you're attractive,

your name's not Barbie, your father doesn't work for Coca-Cola, God, I'm craving a Coca-Cola right now, I love you Barbie, come back to me Barbie. So they go into the guest cabin and they have sex. So then it's the next morning and people are waking up and Barbara's like, I want to know how was last night. And Frazier's like, yes, I want to hear all the details

quickly, please, how was your date? She's like, oh, it was nice, it start to rain. And you know, we got naked, guest room, you know. And Rambo's like, oh my God, did Celine get naked last night? Girlfriend, tell me everything. Can I get a hug? I just love you.

Yeah, and Kyle's like, I got laid last night. She was like, ooh la la. Wish she was, like ooh la la. So Fraser's like, Celine fucked in the master. And she goes, no, don't say fuck. Don't say this. Sorry, she made sloppy, sloppy love in the cabin. Was it good? Okay, yeah, fine. Just go. Just go.

Do I think that they're compatible? Absolutely not. But it's about mans and I'm all for it. But I'm I'm going to get Salen cleaning the cabin because I for sure ain't touching shit. So she starts cleaning, et cetera. And then Anthony calls his mom, and we hear some Anthony backstory, which is that when I was a kid, I was terrible at school, because all the moms, he was like, oh, my kid gets A+, but I do not get them A+. And you know, my mom had no story to say

because I was loser. So it's adding more pressure to myself because I had bad grades in school, and then this charter charter and like every charter I feel like I am playing for my life. I'm playing for mommy Yeah He's really a mess this guy. He's so insecure Yeah, he really is. He needs to get tighter pants or something. I don't know. They're already pretty tight

But he needs to get more secure. I mean, come on Benny. He's like, oh failure because I was failure in school Who cares? You can boil an egg. You know. I mean, come on, Benny. He's like, Oh, failure because I was failure in school. Who cares? You can boil an egg. You know what I mean? Sometimes that's all that matters. So Fraser texts his boyfriend that they need to talk. And so he does. And he's like long distance is super hard. It's never something I wanted to be in. And lo and behold, it's not working period. It needed to be done. I've broken up with my boyfriend, everybody. I've broken up with them. For Game-O.

I was so impressed. Yes, seriously. I was so impressed because when Fraser's, we see his text message saying, we need to talk. And he goes off onto the dock to talk. And I was like, oh my God, it's gonna be another one of these seasons where someone texts some person who's off camera

and the other person Guilts them the entire season about their choices I was like, I don't know if I'm mentally prepared for this like like this season was going so strongly for me until this episode And then this episode like leaned into all the things I don't like that below deck does and I'm like, oh my god There's already gonna be a competition against the crew. There's already gonna be there's already been like a date I don't know if I'm like ready for like an, like a long drawn out text message argument. And then Fraser comes back. He's like, what if he broke up? It's over. I was like, oh,

I don't know that it was really an option. I think Fraser was like, I made out with somebody and the guy's like, I'm sorry. Who is this? Fraser, your boyfriend. I don't have it. You do. All right, look, I'm'm gonna see, are we on Grindr? Have I ever double tapped you on Grindr? Oh, here you are, Frasier, without an I. Oh, yeah, you're 5,000 miles away from me, so I'd literally have to pay extra to look at your profile, so yeah, we're not dating.

Oh, and I guess we've broken up. It's over. So yeah, so that's done, which I guess we've broken up. It's over. So yeah, so that's done, which I'm actually happy for. Good. Moving on. So now the guests come on board and this is the primary. The lady's like, pardon me, I've got a broken wing. Just got out of a cast.

I was heliskiing in Helsinki too, which was really awkward. But anyway, broken arm. So they are all nice and hello and everyone's helping with the luggage and now it's finally time To leave the leave the dock and go out into the open sea Surely Kea will rise to the challenge. Oh So this is the one where they're about to touch the dock I mean every dock every docking is hell but also they're going through that tiny little, you know, opening on the freeway. Stupid bridge.

So it's another thing where it's like, all right, all right, ready, ready, is everyone ready to communicate? Let's go. All right. Dropping lines, please. All right, Kyle, Kyle, come on, Kyle, Kyle, are you there? He's like, um, what? Kyle, I need, I need you to talk to me.

From a distance. Yes, give me the distance. The world is small and blue. All right. Now you're bet. Come on, man. Come on. I need to know the distance. All right. Three eggs, toasts, and maybe some hash browns. Did you go back to the brunch place? Yes. Are you on the boat? All right, all right, all right. What is that? What is that coming up? It's the bridge opening, bro. And Jess is like, Oh my god, distance from the bridge is three meters and opening. You're looking at no, no, no, distance from the bridge

is bet Midler in World War Two with James Khan. But what the hell are you talking about? We are, we are exactly four the boys away from the bridge. What? Um, we are Otto Titzling inventor and, um, and louse. What? Now you're going to beaches? What is this general Bett Midler movie day?

How far are we from the dock? Omelette. Well, hold on. We are, uh, some say love. It is a rose. What? Yeah, okay. No more Janus Joplin biopics.

Let's just get the distances. So they make it basically, but the captain's like, So then we go to Robert and Barbara talking and Robert's like, wow, this feels weird. I haven't sat at a bar in forever. And Barbara is like, oh, wow, you don't drink alcohol? And he goes, now I'm allergic to it. I break out in handcuffs. Barbara's like, I don allergic to it. I break out in handcuffs. Ah! Ah! Barbara's like, I don't get it.

What do you mean? So Carrie is like, all right. All right, so Jess, what shift are you on? She's like, I'm on deck at 8, then I go to bed at 12. I say, all right, and when do you get your break? You do get a break, don't you? Um, chaos at that point. If I'm asked this, I should say, give me a break. Give me a break.

Give me a break at that Kit Kat bar. I'm not sure I follow. I no longer want you to quote that moron. All right. Now, how much of a break do you get? Give me a break. I sure could use it trying to make it to the top. All right. All right now, Carter. Listen, I'm trying to just get around to this. How

much does Caillou suck? Should I, should I fire him right now? Oh yes, definitely. He's stupid. Please get rid of him. I think she's like, why are we forgetting that didn't just come onto the boat saying that she normally is a boson and she took a step down? Or was that rainbow was that rainbow who took a step down from chiefs to know I think it was, I think it was Jess. Yeah, Jess is normally a boson. I'm like, why are we not having just lead this boat right now?

She, she has better ideas than KO does. So Carrie is like, well, I think he's just out of his depth. She's a very stressful role. If you haven't had enough opportunity to do this role before, you're not going to survive. Okay. Okay. What are you doing back there? What if God was one of us on the train? Like one of us. All right. All right. This is not bad. You, Jeff. All right. Now here's what I'm going to do with you, Caio. I'm going to give you another chance. All right, go ahead. Swim back to shore, swim back. So now the guests are doing water toys

and Jess is checking in with Barbara about working with the girls. And she's like, I love Zozo. I love Zozo. And she's like, well, it's not just Zozo. And Barbara's like, well, I don't really like work with the rainbow. Well, I don't work with her very much, so who knows about Rainbow, you know?

Her name is stupid. And Jess is like, you don't even know her name? Just, yeah. I thought her name was So-So. So. Sorry. So then, now we hear some Barbara back. She's calling her So-So.

So she's like, you know, I don't even remember the last time I was with a gay girl. Like my ex, she was straight and we stayed together for one year and a half and I don't even want to be again. And like one way thing, like the one, I don't want to be one way things, not someone's time anymore. So sometimes you just need, you just feel tired, you know, to be with someone that's not, you know,

it's not sure about you. So it's nice that Jess is gay. We have a lot in common. I really like her. I'm like, okay, great. Thanks for the insight. I'm just so glad to meet a real gay person. So nice. So then, um, Barbara is now talking to a guest and she's like, let me understand something. These are your parents? And she's like, no, no. Okay. The two in the teal, they're brothers. Bobby's my dad, Brett's my brother, the husband's the tall bulk,

I, darling, it's Jack's wife, those are her two sons. Oh, I'm so sorry, I asked, this is very, very confusing. I don't, nobody cares, this is a lot. This is a lot for me. It was just polite. Any of them really gross? No? Okay, then please. I was just making polite chatter.

I don't really care who any of these strange people are. I just know they're American and probably stupid So then Fraser is like I'm so glad I'm over yesterday and rainbow's like, oh, do you feel different? Do you feel single now? Do you feel single now? Do you know? I just feel like if we're ever in the same place the same time We're like no longer doing what we're doing and then it could absolutely work out with what was his name again, but we're doing and then it could absolutely work out with what was his name again? Bert Charles. I don't know whoever that person was on my phone he was nice and we'll hook up sometime in the future. I'm sad of course I'm sad obviously I care

about him I will always care about him I haven't imagined life without him going forward I mean I saw him five times in one year incredibly difficult imagining how I would go on. I was like, wow, Fraser's really trying for a love storyline, but there's nothing behind his eyes at all. He's like, wow, love him so dearly. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

Did you know that Damo has his penis pierced? So then Solana's in the kitchen and she's like, oh, big fish, huh? Kiss him, kiss him. Anthony's like, oh yes, so Anthony kisses this fish. He's like, oh, salty. Reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. But Kyle, you guys are a couple, husband and wife, boyfriend, and she's like, yes, you're crazy.

He's like, he probably wants a relation. She's like, no, it's too early. I don't really know him and I don't want to put on pressure. He's like, all right, don't rush stuff. If you're not ready for it, especially if they are gay, take every single step girl. I don't really know him and I don't know what I'm gonna share. He's like, don't rush stuff. If you're not ready for it, especially staircase, take every single step girl. There's getting to be a dent in the wall.

Okay, yes, me rush never. So now it's volleyball with the guests. Nobody cares. I'm not gonna talk about it. So then Anthony gets the main course ready and Kerry gets a call from his daughter and he's like what what do you want how many how many minutes are we from the dogs like daddy I would like help with my homework and he's like oh god all right hit me it's like all right what's the capital of Australia god damn it girl don't you

have a chat CPT over there I'm busy it's called Canberra. All right, next question. Daddy, I'd like to know what do you call a herd of kangaroos? Well, it beats me. We'll just call them... peeps. Okay, daddy. A bunch of kiosks, a bunch of kangaroo morons, right, hopping around. morons right hoping around god damn it you have the internet over there you're fired all right I've got a plane ticket with your name written all over it you little skank okay she did not sound 12 by the way she sounded like she was a full on adult calling from like a customer service like it's like when I take Kaiser Permanente being like we'd like to we'd like you to answer a short survey about your most recent phone phone call us. Were you satisfied or unsatisfied with

your daughter? It's like, say it is followed, I suppose. Travis Extremely unsatisfied. Yeah, I think she just needed like some reassurance from her dad, because all of these questions she could have just Googled, you know, but she's like, dad, I need your experience. Your experience is like, oh, but she's like, dad, I need your experience. He's like, oh, I'm busy, but dad, I just want you to tell me you love me. You know what I love?

A proper distance call. All right, gotta go little lame one, goodbye. Quick. So then Kyle is, Kyle's like settling down. He needs to have a break. They're on the beach. He's like, oh, we can sit here in the shade for a minute. So Jess is like, oh my god, you still haven't gone on a break.

And Kyle, he hasn't done a break, and he's been up since 5. And Kyle's like, oh, I'm sorry, we can't have breaks now. OK? Hair doesn't curl itself on its own. So Jess is like, well, we need to start taking our breaks because we need that structure for our breaks at certain times. For example, when we are eating,

that would have been a good time for him to sit down and just let him chill and eat. He's like, okay, yeah, you're right, it's fine. And I was like, yeah, it's all right. And she goes, no, it's not all right. You know, I'm really pissed off. I'm starting to think that Keio, or Kaio is not cut out for this anymore.

My respect is declining rapidly. One thing I appreciate is eating sitting down. As you can see from these 80 clips they've shown in the last two weeks of me doing just that. So Kaio does the standard reality star thing, which is don't put it all out like this. Like bring me to the side, especially being in her position. You create tension. It's like a bomb that can explode. You can't throw it like this. That's all you've been doing. Kaio is like gathering your group together and yelling at them all in public or like barking

orders in front of guests. And that's totally when someone does something wrong on reality TV, their deflection is always to say, I mean, tell me in private. Don't like humiliate me in front of everyone. I think everyone, I think we just have to start establishing that it's okay to be called out in front of other people. Like that you actually probably deserve it. Usually if you've done something wrong it's okay to be called out in front of other people. Like that you actually probably deserve it. Usually if you've done something wrong, you deserve to be called out in front of other people. I mean, public shaming is a thing.

I think your boss should be, you know, you should like talk to your boss in private, I guess, right? I think if he's telling them what to do in public is because he's the leader of the group, but then if one of them has a problem, then she's kind of spreading poison. Now that said, she has told you in private many times that you need to give a break and you still won't listen.

So maybe she's just doing it in public so you'll be getting a little public shame and maybe that'll help because she has tried you in private. I would agree it's not the most professional thing, but she's tried the professional way. Okay, Herr? Yeah, I think it's okay. I think she's like rallying the troops at this point because Deimo's also like, way. Okay, here. Yeah, I think it's I think it's okay. And I think she's like rallying the troops at this point, because they most also like, yeah, I agree to we need this we need better management,

etc. Yeah. And so like bomb that can explode. Do not throw bomb. So then we go to Justin Deimo talking about how they need more communication. And chaos like, yeah, you know, then fine. Then every morning we can talk about breaks. That's what we do. We'll get up, we'll sit around together. And we'll say, What about breaks? Okay, does that sound good? And she's like, Actually, yes, that would be great. We could have a deck meeting. He's like, Yeah, yeah, we can do that. We can do this meeting every morning. Okay, because I'm writing on

a freeway, a freeway of love, in a pink Cadillac. Like, oh god, he's in Aretha again. So then, uh, Kerry, Kerry picks up Anthony from the beach. And so Kerry and Kyle and Anthony are heading back to the boat. But then like when the tender gets to the boat, Kyle's like not ready with the ropes to tie it onto the boat or whatever. And, and Kerry's like, all right, where's the preparation god damn it man come on when you're unprepared things go tits up. That's like my daughter with her tests. I mean ask me questions the night before you should already know this information. This is so basic to have the lines ready. This is so not knowing the capital of Australia. God get me a new daughter. I mean Bo-sin.

God, get me a new daughter. I mean, Bo Sin." So, um, Rainbow's like, "'Um, is somebody having trouble communicating?' And Fraser's like, "'Yeah, I just think Kayo's... Kayo's just a bit frantic, you know? I don't know what it is, but Kayo's information seems to go one ear and then out of one of his curls.'

And that's why I get the big bucks people right there. Right there. That's why I'm Chief Stu. That's why I get to be on a panel at BravoCon. So Fraser's like, all right, everyone, dinner at eight o'clock. What's the menu? It's like, oh, it's going to be, it's going to be all the menu. It's going to be all this stuff. And the captain is going to be joining. So Fraser, of course, is happy to remind him of that many times to make him nervous.

So Anthony says, I remember from last year timing table food disgusting mommy disappointed It was cold. So I felt all this pressure and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure the guests are happy And the captain is part of me. I bro check I'm ready Cut to Jill's errand. This is disgusting. I've literal I'm a rug maker. I've eaten a rug. This tasted better than this food I mean absolutely disgusting captain What are you the captain of captain of you know a sinking ship? Is that what you are? Is this the Titanic? Are we sinking right now? This is absolutely disgusting fire him

Yeah, let me show you how to make a diet coke good. Okay, so then Now that's like you put in a cup. You know, but I think I coke Yes, I taught him how you make a good Diet Coke. Yeah, I taught him how to make a Diet Coke. So Fraser is, now it's like dinner time and the theme is Havana, it's Cuban nights, Havana nights or whatever. So they're all happy and excited.

And Fraser comes down into the galley and he's like, this evening, captain's at the table, don't forget. And he goes, I know, I know bro. Why are you telling me this? I know already. And he's like, but no pressure obviously because we do this together me and you I you fail I watch you and cheer you on and say fail and then I say why don't you fail it's going to be amazing he's like I have a lot of shit to do bro okay can you just let me concentrate on my shit

his phrase is like no I totally understand I just want to make sure that the timing is okay so you don't fail again in front of Captain Kerry like you did last year. But we're at eight, I cannot be four. I cannot be four eight. We can go at eight, but I cannot be four eight. I know what I'm doing, so Frasier, you need to calm down because I need to focus 100%. Frasier, he wants to help me, but you cannot talk to me like this because you're going to have problems together. I'm the fucking boss right now. Actually actually mommy is the boss and then i am the next boss and i am not going to let people shut me down put me down again i am an amazing chef and i'm going to show

them that the fucking rock star and soon mommy get to tell her friends my son got a plus in cooking well i'm just trying to tell you the situation i mean there's no stress i just want you to know if you fail this you'll never work again do you understand? What the fuck you're talking about no stress why you say this to me? You're like blah blah blah blah blah but you don't need to be like that I'm just trying to tell you I'm here for you when you fail inevitably do you understand? Captain is at the table so of course he's de-stressed okay? Look at you worrying your shit's not gonna be good blah blah blah we know your shit's not going to be good do you understand what I'm saying?

We're an audience who's already seen Gone with the Wind just waiting for you to vow not to eat turnips again Do you understand? That's what I'm trying to say. I don't understand what Gone with the Wind is, but If it is a Gerard Depardieu movie, I will definitely watch It's a slightly racist movie the gay people still watch occasionally, alright? You'll get it one day, and if you're ever invited anywhere, which you won't be because you're going to fail again, but I'll still be your friend. You understand that, don't you?

Oh no, mummy, he is getting in my head. So, yeah. Oh my god, Fraser is stressing me out, which normally I would get, but I don't think Fraser's really doing anything that bad. Just like, you okay? He's like, how dare you? You're trying to take me down. So, actually dinner is fine.

It goes off without a hitch. It's very nice. Yeah. Everything's great. And then- My personal favorite critique is, wow, the Branzino, soeno so tender really Darlene does the brand Zeno often have a problem with being tender I've never had a hard brand Zeno before but okay well Darlene's been

through a lot you know and and it is it is time for Darlene theater she's like well everyone I know you've been wondering how I got this little broken wing over here. Well, we were coming down an icy trail and I went over it and I fell back and I tried to correct by putting my pole down and then I felt my arm behind me and then I literally then I heard a snap and my arm fell off. I'm not lying what you're looking at right here. This is a tree branch with nail polish. A magical snowman came down and kissed a tree branch and now it's my arm. So I just like to think that magical snowman and Jake goes, yeah, that was her arm.

That was her arm that snapped. Yeah, Jake, they get it. Okay, they get it. I think, you know, notice that how I said I put my arm back there and then I heard a snap there. They followed it. They knew that that was the arm that snapped. I just want to make sure they knew it wasn't your Farberware porcelain that you brought on the slope.

Okay, Jake, no, everyone knows. So down in the butler pantry, Celine is like, Oh, look, Rainbow, you see how the butter now? Look at the butter, it's perfect. I did the perfect butter for you, do you like? And she's like, you know what? I love you. I love you so much.

Get over here, let me hug your head in my armp I love you. I love you so much. Get over here. Let me hug your head in my armpit. Okay? I love you so much. I know you're not my biggest fan, but I sure love you. Such a weird thing to say. It's such a passive aggressive weird thing to do. And so he's like, you know, sometimes we fight, but it works. It's normal. She's well, it's not usually like, I'm not usually like a girl's girl. I'm kind of like a, I don't know, like find a jacket piece of glass and cram it into your neck girl. But you guys are so nice that I'd rather just we all get along, you know? That's so sad.

It's just such a way that whole thing is such a sad way to phrase something like normally I don't like girls, but you guys are nice and it seems like you like each other and I would rather you're nice to me. So I don't have to yell at you. So can we just do that? It's also funny because her saying I'm not usually a girl's girl is very non-reality star because a lot of female reality stars love to proclaim that they are girls girls. Like we see it on Love Island right now. It's like I'm such a girl's girl, but usually the people who declare that they're girls girls are not girls girls. That's why they have to declare it

because they're trying to convince themselves and other people that they are despite their own actions. But here she's like, yeah, I'm not a girl's girl. Yeah, cause they have that a lot, right? Like you see it a lot on big brother shows like that where people are like, yeah, girls don't like me. So whatever they're just jealous cause I'm so hot, you know, and then they you see in five minutes why girls don't like them because they're vile to all the girls,

you know. Yeah. And that's kind of a rainbow. But rainbow is not your stereotypical one because usually they're like the kind of bimbo type girls who are like, oh my god, girls hate me because I'm like so hot. And they're like so near around me. And usually it's like women who are like, oh my God, girls hate me because I'm like so hot and they're like so weird around me. And it's not really Rainbow. Yeah, usually they're like women who are vying for male attention and affection and approval and at the expense of other girls, which is why they're not girls girls.

But for Rainbow, she's like not a girls girl because she was literally trained that other girls are threats to her and she has to destroy them and leave them on an island in Holland. They're literally trying to destroy her because their father made them do it. So, uh, Carrie's like, all right. Yeah. He's talking to Fraser. And I always talk to the guests. He's like, so when I was married, you know, I'd be, I'd be away months at a time with the crew, you know,

we'd get to know each other pretty well. My wife would flow in, we'd go out for a crew dinner and you know, what do you like? And one of my crew people would say, Carrie wants this. And the wife's like, no, he doesn't. And then she's like, yes, he does. He likes it. And it's crazy, it's cause you work with them.

They know you like your wife. So I ended up leaving my wife for the crew mate, actually, which is a good thing. I'm like, this story is so fucked up knowing that he ended up, especially when he says it's a female. He's like, yeah, and she knew better than my wife and I liked. I was like, is this the one you left your wine for, sir? Come on now. Awkward. So that was a lovely story. And as we start our day with a celebration, we're going to

end our day with a celebration. Here it is, A red velvet cake. And then Jake is like, that's a cake honey. Yeah, we know. We know. Thanks for pointing out the obvious again, Jake. Yeah. Appreciate that. And one of the guys is like, are you going to pay for my trainers extra month that I'm going to need? First, it's a soft brand Zeno and then a cake, a velvet cake? Are you people kidding? Put a freaking candle on a branzino and call it a day, am I right? No! Hold on. Doing some clenches.

Clenching my butt. Can you guys tell how to work off these calories? TGP- Fraser, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to eat this. I am unfortunately allergic to red velvet cake because every time I eat it, I break out in handcuffs again. I guess it doesn't work as well with red velvet cake as it does with alcohol, but. So Kerry's like, awesome job, Mike. Food came out. Good presentation. He's like, oh, oh yes, thanks captain. Thank you. I did it. Oh, captain love it. He's proud of me. This

means so much to me. I win. I win. I'm good again. I'm good again. Nothing can go wrong. He'll be crying next week. It'll be two seconds. Next week they'll be like, the guest was allergic to peanuts and you gave him peanut butter toast for breakfast. He's dead now. So now it's the second day and the social sort of flying by and Kerry's like, dick time, dick team. Are there any guests on the fly bridge? And Kale's like, no guests, I did not realize we have a bridge for the flies. I thought they have wings, why do they need a fly?

No, it's not what, it's not that. That's not how a Florida fly bridge is. Okay, Kale, just get back to work. So now people have filet mignon and lobster tail. We're already at dinner again, because you're right, they're just fast forwarding through this whole thing. These people do nothing. They had an 8.30 full moon party,

and we just see little shots of the whole trip that the guests have. And the cinematography of it's great, you know, but apparently really boring, because we see nothing. So now everybody goes to bed and it's the next day, and Rimbaud sees Selene in the little pantry. And also I and it's the next day and Rainbows is so laying in the little Buntree. And also I think it's that it keeps happening in the Butler pantry, which is really tight

anyway, but she keeps coming up to her in there and she's like, good morning, beautiful. How are you? Can I hug you from behind? Do you mind if I give you a little kissy? Kiss on the neck, baby. Yeah, God, God. Normally not a girls girl, but you taste so good. We're friends, right? I'm a cool girl. Oh yeah. Tell your friends who are girls. Spread the news. Rainbow's just another kissing girl.

Lovely girl. So Lane's like, okay. so she throws herself down the staircase. She's like, Barbara, this morning I was washing dishes and she says me, hi babes, and she hugged and kisses it. And Barbara's like, no, I don't like that. I don't like her. I don't know. I don't like her.

No, she's stupid. I don't appreciate it. And so, Lane's like, no, she's trying to be kind. She's trying to. And Barbara's like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if she's really trying or pretending or she's pretending she's trying, but like we don't vibe. No, don't like her. What is your your name again? Rainbow? Yeah, like a

Sosa, I don't like Sosa So now it's time for the meter calling again. Oh my god. All righty. We go. Here we go Calling me this how far are we to the dock? What What a mighty good man. A mighty, mighty good man. Kyle, please stop, turn off your Spotify and please call some distances.

Okay, okay. An old man turns 98. He won the lottery and died the next day. It's like a black fly in your Chardonnay. It's like, it's like 10,000. It's like, it's like so many things that are right. We just hit the deck again. Come on, guys. I'm not looking for stern distance. I want you I want you to pull my stern

across. Take up the slack is throw the rope. He's like, okay, okay, I can do this. I can can do this I need a new drug when did one make me sweat god damn it there's a woman on the outside looking inside does she see me no she does not really see me she sees her own reflection and as she turns the other way I'm sorry to hear that okay you're back on season Vega again you've looped around. Oh my god, the four deck have got their line on as they should. The aft deck team need to get that

stern line on. If they don't, we've got an issue with Lonky. It's up to the thruster at all because the guy didn't get the stern line on top. Next thing you know, line eater, line eater, they're going to be calling me line eater up and down the coast. He's a long need. I never want some ever want some. So I'm doing it. So now it's like they, they dark and everything, but it's not a good docking. It's like a bad docking. It's embarrassing. Everything's wrong. And Carrie had to like telecare to do a million things. He's like, I'm running out of excuses. The boy's not getting his job right. Okay.

And he's letting me down. He's like a seam down. He's like, I'm running out of excuses. The boy's not getting his job right. Okay. And he's letting me down. He's like a seam down. It's too much for him. I'm sorry to say the boy is not mine. So the guests have to go and Jack's like, wow, the service taking care of my wife with a bad arm and her husband with a bad breakout of alcoholism. But you guys did it. Darlene, you want to say anything? She's like, I just want to thank the snowman who kissed my arm so I can have hug all of y'all on the way out of here. God damn it. And also don't go

skiing on helicopters. Darlene out. Stick to the lakes and the rivers that you're used to. Oh, God, it happened to me now. That's happening to me. It's contagious. She starts to cry. She's she's literally like, and by the way, thank you so much for getting me ice for my arms. Like, OK, Darlene's had a little bit too much slits this morning.

We're going to get out of here before she winds up in handcuffs, too, if you know what I'm saying. She gets emotional. She's a woman. That's what they do. Okay, thanks everyone for coming. They've just deported Darlene. You shouldn't have asked for ice. It's the wrong time, Darlene. She's like, hey, wait a minute. She's being taken off in a helicopter. Well, not again.

So Carrie's like, well, we've had a lovely group of people on this boat. Never had a person with a broken arm on a child of a thought. What was that? Right? I cast. You're not part of the cast. Why would she kept saying cast before? I don't know.

I've never seen a broken arm before. It was all very strange to me. Anyway, she didn't feel excluded at all. Not even after I pointed it in and said, ha ha, stupid broken arm. Anyway, excuse me. My helicopter's loser. I mean, I tried, I tried as hard as I could to exclude her, but she just kept on being

involved in things. It was terrible. It's really difficult. Maybe I could have spent less time having to deal with the K hour because a bit more time making her feel like she was stuck in a corner somewhere. All right. You've got $28,000. That's a double what the gays gave us. So, you know, let's thank God for heterosexuals everybody. All right, 2150 each. Go off, be merry. Do not give it to any gay people. I'm telling you, if any gay people wait on you, do not tip them. Right? We are going to get that money back somehow. Carrie calls Caio to the bridge. And Caio's like, oh oh if the captain is not pleased it makes me

not pleased but then I think squid squint hair hair what were we talking about hmm and so Kaio's like all right I mean Carrie's like all right mate I'm having this conversation with you that I don't want to have or I really want you to succeed here and the thing is we keep having these little errors they keep on adding up a small error like I don't know crashing into a boat or I don't know sinking in the middle of mullet bay each time I think that we've gonna we're gonna get the point no errors we get another error and this problem with you that I'm having is that I'm losing confidence in you and the expectation of a job on this but do realize we had a lady with a broken arm on this boat and I didn't

even get to make fun of her because I was dealing on this boat and I didn't even get to make fun of her because I was dealing with all your errors. I didn't even get to properly roast my daughter for not knowing the capital of Australia. Yeah. You would have been taken up all my time, mate. Can bearer more like can't bear it because I'm dealing with you and all your mistakes.

All right, so I've got to let you go, mate. He just closes up on Kyo's face. He's like, mm, mm, mm-hmm. So what did you want to tell me? You're fired. Mm-hmm. So you wanted to have a talk? You gotta go.

Mm, okay. So you want me to stay? No, you've gotta go. Mm, I can't wait to do this forever. Please leave. Listen, this is, normally I have to tell you something three times and I'm coming down the road number seven at this point. You thought it. He's just like shakes his hair and looks at him like fascinating,

fascinating discussion we're having. Uh, and that's it. Well, Kyle even realized that he's fired. I don't know. I'm not convinced, but we knew he was going to be fired because as we mentioned earlier in the season when we saw that the chef was not going to stay with us because Peacock put up a photo of the entire cast. Like literally the first week that this premiered and we saw in the cast photo that Anthony was there instead of the born again chef and that there was a totally different bosun. So like it's just been a matter of time just waiting for this guy to get fired there's a blatant spoiler that we only had to wait

till episode 6 to meet the new person that's good it's true it's true because I'm ready to go at this point like rainbow I mean how long does she have she's gonna have a nervous breakdown by episode 8 I mean so how long does she have? She's going to have a nervous breakdown by episode eight. I mean, So Len who literally can't do her job. She just, They can't, they can't ever get rid of saline. No, they won't. They definitely won't.

She's too funny. But yeah, that's it. So everyone, thanks for being here. And again, we won't have a below deck recap next week, but the week after we sure will. Okay, everybody. Yeah. We'll see you next time bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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