Watch What Crappens - #2912 PumpRules S6E7: It’s Not About the Pasta Live From Detroit

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

We travelled to Detroit to recap a classic Vanderpump Rules episode and had a blast eating all the fried things and laughing with you guys in real life. In this ep, Katie gets revenge on Scheana for spilling Schwartz’ makeout tea by telling everyone that Rob was also kissing someone else. The horror! Also, Lala and James fight about Raquel’s stolen pasta. To listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, watch our recaps on video (excluding live episodes), and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Agent Nate Russo returns in Oracle III, Murder at the Grandview, the latest installment of the gripping Audible original series. When a reunion at an abandoned island hotel turns deadly, Russo must untangle accident from murder. But beware, something sinister lurks in the grand view's shadows.

Joshua Jackson delivers a bone-chilling performance in the supernatural thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Don't let your fears take hold of you as you dive into this addictive series. Love thrillers with a paranormal twist? The entire Oracle trilogy is available on Audible. Listen now on Audible.

My name is TJ Raphael. I'm the host of Liberty Lost, a new podcast about who gets to be a mother and the control of young women hidden behind the veil of faith. Binge all episodes of Liberty Lost ad free right now on Wondery Plus. Almost took a tumble there. Hello Detroit! So good to see you guys again and here for a Vanderpump Rules. Wow! Oh I can already tell it's gonna be one of those nights.

And you know why? So here's something that I've learned. People from Michigan are resilient and they're strong. And the reason why I know that is because the only two people left standing are Jackson Kristen on Battle For Pools. And also you guys can have so much energy after eating pizza here. Jesus Christ. We got detroited. Yeah.

We were sitting back there like, oh Jesus, why? It is so good. So you make up that cheese, right? You guys invented your own cheese. You're like, the auto industry didn't really work out, let's make a cheese. And now it's on. I eat it, I like it. What's it called, like?

Brick cheese. Oh. Brick cheese. Well, that's easy. Detroit cheese. I like that you guys really stuck with your branding on that. It's very Chris and Dodie brick cheese. Brick cheese.

Soy cheese. Brick cheese. Sorry cheese. Brick cheese. Cheese and bricks. Sorry cheese. I have to say, I literally am so happy to be here because otherwise I'd be home looking at all the annoying photos from Coachella right now. Or some people call it Rochella.

I mean, something's gonna happen, right? Something's gonna happen tonight, right? Every single year at Coachella, something happens. Last year, Teresa and Taylor Swift took a photo together, which I'm only now recovering from. So, I guess we'll see what happens there. But I'm very excited about it. Coachella is too many people that I don't want to see in their underwear in their underwear. Awful.

Okay? Just come over to my house. I do it every day. You want that shit? So, I'm very- Mediocre music with butt crack. I do it every fucking day, okay? I'll do it for $5.

So there's actually some really cool Bravo news that I only saw happen. This is not like gossip. It's just like something cool that Bravo is doing. I only saw it two hours ago. And there's someone here in the front row who's wearing a Below Deck sweatshirt. Are people here, do people here enjoy Below Deck? But more importantly, are there people here who enjoy the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City? All right, let me read you. Let me read you this. All crew, all crew. Little girl.

Literally it says that. Below deck, down under season four, just started filming with the first ever Real Housewives crossover charter featuring the full cast of Salt Lake City. Oh shit. And it looks like the chief stew is Daisy. And the chef is Ben. This is our Coachella. It's the only Coachella we need. I don't pray a lot these days, but I'll pray for that crew. This just in, all the orcas just attacked that yacht.

Another Bravo News, I thought we could look forward, you know, because tonight we're looking back so we could look forward from the, well, I guess it's present, so that's not really looking forward, but if you were in the past, then it would be looking forward if you're looking at the present. So Jax, Jax was on Extra TV. By the way, I love Vanderpod recaps. Do you guys ever read her on Instagram? She recaps all the podcasts, you don't have to like lose your brain cells over it and now she's like fuck it I'm gonna recap extra TV. I don't care. So she's doing that. So they got a clip from Jax who I know We're all feeling a lot for right now

a lot, yeah, poor guy So this is Jax's quote Jax do you need to squash beef with anybody? You know, to be honest with you, I'm not really worried about anybody else right now. You know, right honest with you, I'm not really I'm not really worried about anybody else right now. You know right now. I'm uh I'm worried about myself right now. You know I'm just I'm gonna be a little selfish right now. You know I think I deserve to be a little you're always fucking selfish right now Glad his years later is this and Jackson's like guys. I just need a moment to be selfish You just dropped your baby in the pool.

Did you see that Instagram? He's like, guys, this is how dads do it. Happy Father's Day. Drops his kid in the pool. His kid's like, wah! Drowning to death or whatever kids do when you drop them in the pool. I've only fantasized about it.

I haven't actually done it. And he's like, ha ha's like chafing it and then the story ends and people are writing back to the story like it's a baby dead like you just horrified someone in the audience I just looked over and someone went oh my god and then Brittany I think Oh my God. And then Brittany, I think this was a recap of her podcast. Brittany, or whatever it's called now. What was it called before? Like Jackson Brittany, happier than ever. And now it's just like Brittany.

Just Brittany. So a couple of weeks ago she was like Brittway ho it's open in I'm so excited y'all we started ordering furniture we designed it I was like oh my god those poor glue guns cuz you know they're sitting if you're wondering why all the Michaels in Los Angeles were empty, that's why. So she came out with this statement, she's like, guys, there's something I wanted to talk about before I got out there. It's huge news. I know it's going to be out all over the medias. It needs to come from me.

They sold Rocko's, which was what Brits was connected to, and it's all part of the same thing, and the partner-up sold it they didn't tell me they were gonna sell they didn't communicate with me whatsoever and we'd already you know completely decorated everything we ordered everything the wallpaper the new stuff so you ordered it or you decorated it you sound like Jax right now Erica Jean's gonna be at that fire sale wallpaper we're gonna put in new seedings you know we ordered new chandeliers we order everything on January 7th so I thought that January 6th January 6th is a holiday so we were having a pop-up of breads at the DC Capitol.

This lady goes on, I swear to you, it's five dots. You know how the pages are little dots on Instagram. You just keep sweeping. OK. So I think that's why I'm disappointed. OK. A paragraph later. So I'm pretty upset about it.

They don't need to do a couple of other things. You know, paragraph letter. So I'm pretty upset about it. They offered me to do a couple other things, you know? Another paragraph. I was just so excited about it. Another paragraph. They have offered alternative things for us to do. I was just so excited about it. Next page. I mean, I've got so many amazing projects coming.

So many amazing projects coming. Next paragraph. But I want to let you guys know, it had to come from me. You know, I was just so excited about it. Bring it in. Stop. She's acting like she's opening up a P.F. Chang's in Vegas. It was gonna be three bar stools and like a picture of beer cheese on the wall. So I think everybody should give a moment of silence for all the food inspectors in LA. Yes. Because you know they hired like 20 extra people who are now out of work. Yes, to everyone who had purchased some pre-sale tickets to Brits at Rocco's, the Brits X

Rocco's collab. I'm sorry. They will be worth nothing. I'm just real this morning. Okay, I have one question before we get into this. Where do the trams go in Detroit? Okay, we got to the airport, beautiful airport by the way, lovely. And there's this tram going overhead.

It never picked me up. I walked five miles. Where do you get it? Where do you get on the fucking thing? You have to walk upstairs to get on a tram? That is not Rondal accessible. I'm going upstairs to get anywhere. I don't care if Jesus himself was handing out pizza up there. I'm not going up there. I'd be like, throw it down, Jesus!

You work out! It's a great metaphor for Jackson Brittany though, just going around and around, really with nowhere in sight. No end. And then we were walking here and we saw another tram and I was like, where does that stop? I feel like you guys are tramps. There's a tram in the airport which is like up in the rafters. And then there's the monorail here that just seems to... The people mover!

I'm sorry, it's a people mover. A people mover. I'm sorry, it's a people mover. A people mover. It's a people mover. Not to be confused with Sir's goat cheese ball mover. A people mover. That's a man I'd marry. So what are you into? I'm a people mover.

I'm in. Unzip your pants. People mover. Move me. Seriously. It moves the seriously to the seriously. Alright, alright. So previously on Vandapump. Woo! Welcome to DJ Kennedy, DJ Night Party.

See you next Tuesday. It's time, la la, can't, wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki. Hey, la la, hey, la la. Ain't nobody feeling like you're feeling you, like I'm feeling you, like I'm feeling you. Ain't nobody feeling like you're feeling you, like I'm feeling you, like I'm feeling you. Ain't nobody feeling like I'm feeling you, like I'm feeling you, like I'm feeling you. Fat man, fat man, Lola feels a fat man like fat like a walrus like Robin Eaton. Fat man, fat man, fat man, Lola feels a fat man.

J-A-X, did you have relations with Faith next to a sleeping 90 year old while Faith recorded you on voice notes? Tell me the true J-A-X. No. Rot in hell, Jax, rot in hell. (*crowd cheering*) Dude.

Dude! Ariana, it's so nice being like the one stable, loving, trusting relationship in this friend group. Yeah. It's because we both take sketch comedy very seriously. Schwartz. I'm not a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl.

I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl.

I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl.

I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm, shorts. You're supposed to be making out with me. Awww. It's not even really your fault for cheating on me. It's Sheena's fault for telling people you were cheating on me. Hey, Kristen. Rob cheated on Sheena. Seriously? No way. That's amazing. Is that true? Who knows, spread it. Okay, Mariposa reporting for duty.

Sheena, Katie told me that Rob gets a girl a toka madera. No way. Alright, Rob is my forever ever. He can hang a TV in under five minutes. Okay, I hate you, but that's hot. Um, Katie, can I speak to you by the refrigerator? Um, is there a ranch in there? Um, you're telling people that Rob cheated at Toca Madera.

Yeah, but you're telling people Tom cheated at not Toca Madera. But Tom did cheat at not Toca Madera. Yeah, but you're telling people Tom cheated at not Toca Madera. But Tom did cheat at not Toca Madera. So what's your point, Toca Madera? If you pretend that Rob didn't cheat at Toca Madera, I'll pretend Tom didn't cheat at not Toca Madera. Keep my Toca Madera relationship out of your Toca Madera mouth. Toca?

Madera. Okay. Toga? Madera. And scene. So. Vanderpump rules. Season six, episode seven. It's not about the pasta. Season six. Wow. Before terrorism, before COVID, before Ozempic. That was a horrible one.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Season six, before terrorism, before COVID, before Ozempic. That was a horrible time. I'll take all of that for some Ozempic.

You can do it all over. 9-11 me again. Just give me the Ozempic. I'm telling you. Sorry, that was too far back. We chose this episode because obviously it has an iconic scene. What I was not expecting re-watching it is that it was almost one of the most perfect episodes of anything to air on Bravo.

It really was. And there were so many things in this episode. I was like, that was here? I mean even Kristen's little gif moment was here. Oh, oh actually Ronnie that reminds me, I actually got you something to celebrate this. It's Sheena's smile. We found it. The one thing this show is missing is evil Stassi. This is like Stassi. So was this one Stassi?

I know we should know this for recappers, but we're old ones. Was this one Stassi was dating Patrick? We were discussing. Oh, that's why. Damn it. It was before she went back to terrorizing her boyfriend with Bo. Stop, stop, stop. Is there popcorn here?

Yeah! You bastards, nobody told us. Alright, show's over. Thank you so much for coming. Popcorn Madeira. Okay, so here we are. They're getting the sir outfit for Pride, which is hilarious that they actually went to a fabric store. You need a napkin and some tape. Okay? That's basically what it was. You need exactly what Brit was doing Brit's

wee-ho in. Napkins and tape. That's it. Yeah. There's this random lady named Alina. I don't even remember if she was on the show or she just came in to be like the wardrobe consultant for this important scene, but she comes in with a bunch of handkerchiefs and she's like here we go. This is bohemian. You know, you put it on, it becomes uniform at Serb Goat Cheese Balls. You know what the gays love to see on Pride? Women boobs. Yeah. Lisa's whole vision is spreading the love. I'm like, that's what got half this cast in trouble in the first place. Lisa Vanderpump.

Hello, welcome. It's my Vanderpump Pride, you know. I've always been a believer in homosexual rights. Except driving, they're terrible drivers really, and I won't let one bust the tables here. Actually not many work here at all really, but I do allow them the alley to suck dick in. So, yeah. One of the most important things that we do here on Vanderpump Rules is promote equality

because love is love, which is why we've made a pledge to make sure that in every season of Vanderpump Rules there is not a single gay man as a cast member. Or at least one who's out. You know, Stasi's been assisting with events, it's earned. On Pride I've always kind of pulled, pulled in different directions. There's a giant Easter hat store pulling me this way. A magician pussy bow pulling me this way. A pile of tuna tartare. What do I choose?

So I need all the hands I can get, even if they are Stassi's grubby little mitts. Get it! And Stassi's like, um, I think Brittany would like to top the flowers on this so it keeps her boobs more secure. Those things are gigantic. She has been attacked by Jack. Jack has forced size quadruple Qs onto her. Can we just get some flowers to glue gun onto Brittany's breast? We found out where all of Memaw's beer cheese went and it was stuffed into her boobs. Don't hug her too hard. There are so many things I kind of forgot. I mean once I saw them I remembered them but like that Jax forced those things onto Brittany. That is terrible. He's

such an asshole. They're like two little VW bugs. He was like I love a bug. Put him in there. Hi. So Natalie, Natalie is there and she's like oh yes, Brittany, she has huge boobs now thanks to Jax and this poor woman Alina who thinks that these are normal people is like, oh she got pregnant. No, no, no, he bought a pair and had a mechanic, shove them under the hood darling. Okay, well Ariana, Sheena, and Lala wanna wear the ones that have the smaller ones because they got smaller boobs, gross, disgusting. Oh, I know you, Alina.

I know what you're up to, you little minx. You're going to find this meanest, stimpiest little outfit. You're gonna put that on someone just to get Ken's engines running before it's his birthday am I right? Ken! I'll knock your spock out! Spock out! Can't wait to see what we do with this year's Pride darling. I really hope we accentuate the breasts on these.

That's one thing I would do the last time. Just holding Jiggy. Jiggy was still with, I think that was Jiggy. I know, I love Jiggy too. But we all know that was a sock. We all know at this point. That dog died like 30 years ago and we all fucking know. The original AI was Jiggy. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial.

We acting bad, bad, bad, bad. We ain't trying to hurt nobody. For decades, he was untouchable. I'm going from Harlem to Hollywood. We try to hurt nobody. For decades he was untouchable. But now it's all coming undone Sean combs the mogul as we know it is over he will never be that person again even if he's found not guilty of these charges. I'm Jesse Weber host of law and crimes the rise and fall of Diddy the federal trial a front row seat to the biggest trial in entertainment history, sex trafficking racketeering

prostitution allegations by federal prosecutors that span decades and witnesses were finally speaking out. The spotlight is harsher the stakes are higher and for did he there may be no second chances. You can listen to the rise and fall of did he the federal trial exclusively with one 3 plus joined one 3 plus in the one 3 app Spotify or Apple podcast right now.

Today is the worst day of abby's life. The 17 year-old cradles her newborn son in her arms. They all saw how much I loved him. They didn't have to take him from me. Between 1945 and the early 1970s, families ship their pregnant teenage daughters to maternity homes and force them to secretly place their babies for adoption.

In hidden corners across America, it's still happening. My parents had me locked up in the godparent home against my will. They worked with them to manipulate me and to steal my son away from me. The godparent home is the brainchild of controversial preacher Jerry Falwell, the father of the modern evangelical right and the founder of Liberty University, where powerful men, emboldened by their faith, determine who gets to be a parent and who must give their child away. Follow Liberty Lost on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So Stassi is saying how, you know, oh my God, or, you know, it used to be that Natalie was

in charge of addressing the staff, but now Stassi is going to, you know, oh my god, or you know, it used to be that Natalie was in charge addressing the staff But now Stassi is gonna do it and it's gonna be great, which it looks just the same as when Natalie did it handkerchiefs are handkerchiefs, you know And she's like, yeah, I can't wear that because I still have scars from my boob reduction Let's take a look at it. Look at my pictures and then her Like this and like one boobs over here and one boobs like that. I'm like, I still look like that. I didn't have anything done.

It's just how my body appropriates itself. So they look at the boobs and they laugh at them. And I was just like, could you even do that today? Did Stassi just revenge porn herself? There's been a lot of that umbrella. So they're laughing over her scurry boobs and stuff. And I was like, oh God, simpler times. Yes.

So then, among many other things this episode had to offer, it was the introduction of Kelsey Patel, reggae master. Oh. So we see Jackson Schwartz and Sandoval, they go to this meditation place. Oh, and Peter's there too. Which is often, that's a phrase that people say a lot. Cause this is still like the first third of the season.

Cause remember this was like Cheers where they did like a hundred episodes a season for a while. It just kept going. So this was only episode seven. So the guys were still on that mode where they did like 100 episodes a season for a while. It just kept going. So this was only episode seven. So the guys were still on that mode where they're like, we're different this year. All I wanna do is be loyal to Katie and not drink things. Let's go to meditation.

So they go in there and Kelsey's like, I'm Kelsey, the baking master. You guys, these are essential oils. And Jackson's just unzipping his pants. He's like, I'll have some on my palm, please. So Peter's like, he's like, oh, I love doing Reiki. It's weird that it makes me feel like I'm in tune with the universe.

You know, I have all my chakras in line. It'll do a world of good for you. Just an update, he's still working yet, sir. So. Community college would have been a better stop. On the train. On the people mover. Next time tell the people mover to head to community. Meanwhile, Jax explains what he always thought Reiki was.

He says, I always thought Reiki was when you go to Brookstone and you purchase those little squares with the reeks in the sand. That's called a reek. And that's a zangard. He's like, he hears Reiki and he just assumes it's about reeks. He thinks he's going to a reek therapy. He's gonna be given a reek

and it's gonna give him deeper meaning in life. This guy is such an idiot. And he believes it too, you know? So Kelsey's like, okay everybody, lie down. I'm gonna touch you. Jacks, please put your boner away, Jack. I haven't even done anything yet. Ding, hum, ba-ba.

Oh, oh, oh-ba. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay, I had a, okay, I'm having a revelation. So recently, I've just been getting way too drunk recently and I just feel like I have so many golden opportunities right now and made me realize,

if I get drunk, if I keep getting drunk, I could be drunk during those opportunities. You're gonna fuck them up? Is that what you're gonna do? Are you just gonna keep fucking things up because you're wasted? I was like, damn Kelsey. How rakey is that?

Like listen you stupid little drunk fuck up, get your shit together, how about that? Damn. So then Kelsey, she's like, okay, so this is what you're going through. I want you to write down ownership right here. I was like, can you only write down 10% of that word? Because that's as much as I'm pretty sure he's allowed to have, according to Lisa Vanderpump. All right.

Write ownership on this slip of paper and then write foreclosure on this script. So then Sandoval, this is his great revelation which you know anyone could have told him this he goes, dude I feel like my mind is dulled. It has to be sharp first to get dull. So Kelsey's like okay now write down repossessed right here on this one so they're writing it and Peter's like you okay, now write down repossessed right here on this one. So they're writing it. And Peter's like, you know what I'm writing down? Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Go, go, go, go. That's all I do, I go.

I see someone at the front of the restaurant. I'm like, do you need a table? Let's go, table 32 open. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Okay, write down sad. Okay. So then she's like, okay, okay, I can tell this one's gonna need some special energy. Okay, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, sad, okay. So then she's like, okay, okay, I can tell this one's gonna need some special energy.

Okay, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, Oh yeah. Harder. Tap, tap, tap. Harder. Tap, tap. Ow, god damn it, fuck.

Okay, you're having a breakthrough. What's happening, what are you feeling, Jack? Guys, there's just like a lot of things going on with me right now, you know? There's just like so much going on, you know? Yeah, here, let's tap out, let out a little bit more. Tap, tap, tap. Let it out, baby, tap, tap, tap.

God, it's a fucking heart, stop touching me with that thing! Okay, come on, it out, baby. Tap, tap, tap. It's a fucking heart. Stop touching me with that thing. Okay. Come on. You're getting close. I know I am. I am. I am.

I am. Let it out. So Kelsey's like, Jax, are you willing to feel afraid? And he's like, I don't want to feel afraid. I don't want to feel afraid. I'm so afraid of feeling afraid. She's like, that's okay, Jax. It's okay to be afraid.

Tell us your problem. And he's like, you know, I just had a great relationship for two years. So good. It's the best fucking relationship. And then she caught me doing something. What the fuck, man? And he keeps cutting to Sandevil, who's like,

he's deep, bro. Yeah, you know, like after the whole cheating thing with Brittany, whatever. You know, like no one's really stopped to see, like, Jax, how are you doing? No? Like, I mean, Kelsey's actually showing that she cares about me, she's invested in me. Like, she's holding rock hard, I got rock hard. And Kelsey's like, you'll never, ever, ever, listen, I've known you for five minutes

and I can promise you this, you Jax Taylor will never make anyone happy You have to start with yourself Juxtapose that with this week when Jax is like I just need to take care of myself guys Origin story blame Kelsey. Hey Jax. Can I give you a hug? Fucking please Not not that kind of hug Kelsey Patel the original rock dealer in Jack's life

By the way, let's really not let let's not gloss over the fact that Jack literally said after the whole cheating thing no one's asked me how I'm doing. It's hard, it's hard to cheat, it's hard to cheat when you get caught like you just feel like such a failure. Someone was recording secret voice notes on me. Do you know how hurtful that is? So they hug and I just like how everyone in the room's like, yeah, he wants to fuck her. Yeah. Jack's like, do you think that chick will let me move in with her? I mean, that wouldn't be that surprising if he tried to sleep with her, you know?

And he's like, I could deal with that every fucking day. The chick who's only worried about hardness. Peter goes, I'm happy I could help. Shut up, Peter. So Peter's like, happy I could help, guys. Happy I could help. This is what he's having conversations with himself in the Surbach alley right now. He's like, I just having conversations with himself in the

Surbach alley right now he's like I just need someone to sit in the other chair we'll have a scene so another origin story that happened here so this is the first time we met Kelsey Patel and now we hear the origin story of Brittany's new face it starts here where she goes that's I think I'm gonna try Botox. It happened today. This is the moment. Congratulations. You're a cool guy Botox. It's the best. I think the best thing that you can do. And mama's like, I mean I do it but everything I do is preventative. For her career, yes. So. Um, she's like, I've been putting Vaseline around my eyes since I was five,

because my mom told me when you're older, you'll have crow's feet and no man will ever fuck you on a yacht again, so. I decided I didn't want to have crow's feet, but I wanted to fuck a guy who did. So, Brittany's like, hey, apparently all the guys went to Raiky meditation and Jack's like, he cried, you guys. He cried.

Yeah, that's what I heard, sk. And Brittany's like, yeah, he finally showed some emotion. You know, I'm seeing him putting in the effort and that's all I ever wanted. To lie on a pillow while someone tapped his forehead. That's it? That's all? That's all you had?

But I like the rest of it. She goes, all I wanted was for him to show some emotion. And not cheat on me, obviously. Don't worry, it'll work out. not cheat on me obviously you know that don't worry it'll work out. Lalo's like so I'm having lunch with Katie's and I feel confident because like she's really been kind to me you know Katie the girls girl so Brits do you hang out with them a lot did they talk about Sheena's relationship? Well the reason I hang out with them a lot. Did they talk about Sheena's relationship? Well, the reason I found out is because I was at lunch with Katie and Kristen

and they told me about it. Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub. That's my flashback music. And we just see a flashback to Katie saying like, I heard about like a Tokamadera chick that like Rob hooked up with. Seriously, amazing, I'll tell everyone. Blah da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da like Rob hooked up with. Seriously, amazing, I'll tell everyone. You're flashing back to now.

You know what, Katie started this whole thing. What? Brittany, look at me in the eye. Katie started this whole thing. I'm not following, can you say that a little bit slower? Of course she started at Ariana's. Of course she started at Sheena. I miss the years where Ariana and Katy hated each other's guts. This was like a warm blanket.

I was like, oh God, back when I wasn't the only one. So Ariana's like, yeah, of course they are Sheena, because what else do they have to talk about? Not one of them takes a comedy class, I can tell you that much right now. Yeah, what are they talking about? Fucking statement necklaces, they're white wine, they're having out lunch.

I'm like, leave Luanne and Ramona out of this. And Ariana's very worried about Sheena, because her anxiety is getting the best of her. So she's like, none of your business. And she was like, I mean, it's like such a deflecting mechanism that Katie finds out her husband has yet again made out with someone in public. And she's like, oh my god, don't get mad at me,

because your boyfriend's making out with people in public. And I'm like, sweetheart, that is your boyfriend, not my boy, no, that's your husband, not my boyfriend. My boyfriend doesn't make out with anyone, even me. (*audience laughs*) Case closed. So she says- What kind of slam is that?

Your boyfriend doesn't make out with you? I know. (*audience laughs*) So the best part about Sheena is the way she just goes and tells the same story over and over again So this is the beginning of this one. She's like well after that a whole rumor came out I told Rob and his reaction was just like laughing But like now I haven't seen him for like a few days

And I'm wondering is he still laughing did even hear what I said was he laughing at me was it because the TV that he put Up in five minutes had friends on it cuz that's a funny show Was he laughing at something behind me all this time and then he was like if you when he heard about me But I said he started to cry, like where'd the laughter come from? And I'm just like really confused about it. And I'm just like, just wanna put on a halter top and just like cry in a corner right now.

I'm so confused. She's spiraling. I mean, I just hate that we're even still talking about this. I mean, you were talking about it last night. Now we're talking about it. Now what are we gonna talk about it tomorrow? Can we never talk about it again? We talked about it the refrigerator does that mean nothing?

The refrigerator was like the serious place You don't make a deal in front of that skanky ass refrigerator and then renege on that deal the next day Well chef while chef Joe is trying to push out like rutabaga soup, you know It's going right by that fridge. I miss Seth Joe too. Remember when Seth Joe's like here I've got a special for the day and then he hands him a plate and it's like a bowl of soup but there's soup all over the outside of the bowl. He's like here take it. And then Lisa would tell us we here do something we call specials. They're dishes are for one night only.

Just one of our unique ways of innovating the restaurant industry. So sick. Oh my God, you guys, can we make a promise like we're by a refrigerator? Please let's not ever talk about Rob possibly cheating again. Hold on, Rob's calling me. Hello?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and Kristen, the witches of WeHo plus Brittany, walking down the street and they're going to see La La Land. Without La La, which is really fucking cool. That is the irony, there is no La La Land. So Stassi is like, there's like nothing more fun than a girls night where you all dress up in primary colors in the costumes of La La Land. There's literally so many more fun things to do. It's like, I mean, I can never remember which fucking La La Land color

isn't actually a fucking primary color. I do love that Stassi like dissed primary colors. She's like, I'll take anything down. I'm so basic, I don't know if peach is a primary color. Stupid. That was Stassi Singh, she was like, I'm a rebel, I'm basic. Yeah. I like ranch dressing and not knowing

whether peach is a primary color. Fuck you. So they're just chatting and Katie's like, I'm not looking forward to working with Sheena. Sheena accused me of spreading rumors about Rob and Sheena went around and started telling people about the Tom rumor. This season really did have it all. I mean, there was like multiple cheating rumors happening at once. I mean, I tried to tell her I was like, Katie wouldn't make this up. It's Katie.

She's a good person. OK, no one would call her Bubba if she wasn't a good person. That bitch cannot comprehend anything that is beyond an Instagram selfie or a Snapchat story. She has a boyfriend and she has sir, and that's it. She needs to get a fucking hobby, dude. That is a hobby, a boyfriend and sir. What more do you need?

It's more than I do in a day. So they do shots, and their waiter's there and he's like been told like, hey there's a single girl at the table. So he's just lingering. He's like, hi, I'm Chris. Welcome to La La Land. Like, Brittany!

Hey, have you heard of Kentucky? It's a state. He's like, yeah. I'm from Winchester. He's like, oh, I've heard ofchester. He's like, oh I've heard of that. I've heard of the letter W. Oh me too. You're from almost the same place as me. We could be family. Show me your teeth. Got them all. Not family. Moving along. It's definitely flattering to have a gossler with me, you know, because it's nice to know

that people do like men or like attracted to men stuff, but I think I'm gonna go back to the guy who doesn't like men isn't attracted to me, JX. It's definitely good to have a guy flirting with me. This guy's just like, can I leave now? Did you guys want a side of fries? So, Brittany has an announcement, which is, I decided I want to try to work it out, because Jack's went to Reiki meditation.

So Katie's like, oh my god, Reiki? For how long? I like that Katie knows how long it takes. Is this like real Reiki or like a Tom Preiki? I mean, was it like the full Reiki course? It's tapping your head with fucking pebbles off the ground, Katie. Katie's like, Tom made a real effort, he stopped drinking for 10 minutes, so.

So Stacey tries to warn her, she's like, look, he's gonna beg, he's gonna cry, he's gonna say he's gonna get help, he's gonna do all these things, he's gonna hurt you all over again, which by the way, all does come true. And she's like, you know, I know that you're holding onto hope, I can see it on your face.

Oh, actually that's just honey mustard. Could you wipe your face, please? But hi, Lee C. Tron, you know, he went to Rykie. I can't wait to start having big kids with him. So Chris was like, but he acted so cold and Stassi's like, I mean Jax knows exactly what the fuck he's doing. Okay? He's doing the bare minimum to keep Brittany, which, I mean, it's really all it takes is Brittany. Brittany's like, hi, today, he put on shoes with laces

and tied one of them. You guys, he is trying. He is trying. So now we go to Lala, Logan. Logan, other Logan, walking down the street, walking down the street going into Sweet Chick, and they sit down with one DJ, James Kennedy, who announces, he points out to them, do you guys want to hear something that's so gangsta? They have gin in Welch's, Welch's grape soda together, it's so gangsta.

Street, street, Kennedy and ours, am I right? This could be the new- Gin and juice, gin and juice. This could be the new Pomp-Teeny, Gangsta--tiny. All right, we want gin and juice, and we want a few shots to make them doubles. All of them doubles. Get them triples. Get triple shots, yeah? That's what we do over here.

I can drink. I can stop drinking whenever the fuck I want to, all right? Would an alcoholic order four doubles? Put them in a glass big enough to impress a fat man. He's like, to getting drunk, to getting drunk. I love how Bravo used to deal with alcoholism storylines. This was James's alcohol storyline. This is James's quitting season.

Yes. Commercials, here comes one right now. So to anyone who is or was concerned about James, we have some great news and he tells us, obviously I've been trying to cut down and control the drinking, we'll have another double vodka shot. Literally.

So then he takes like syrup from the table and pours it into a shot and Lala's like, that's fucking disgusting. He's like, alright, alright, alright, alright. I know you both love Raquel, right? You both love Raquel. And Logan's like, He's like, because you know, sometimes I have drinks and I just don't

even realize you know but I can stop drinking anytime I want it's no problem no problem whatsoever so all right she both love for kale right and Logan's like um keep going keep going what what and I was like um go ahead finish your sentence and so he's like well all right. All right, so now you're making faces at each other. Oh, oh, right, right, stupid bitch. Fuck you, fuck you, stupid gay, you stupid bitch. Fuck both of you. Give me another shot of here.

Listen, we're best friends, right? I'm best friends with you lot, is that right? You're gonna treat her like that? She's moving in, I gave her a draw in my house. Can they show a flashback of James being, James is giving Raquel a tour of her future home, aka the twin-sized mattress behind the strange room divider shade. And he's like, guess what?

With the old creepy gay guy who lived behind the... The changing wall thing. He's like, guess what? I'll clear out a drawer for you, and this drawer up here, that's gonna be yours someday. But I still have to work on that one. But it's something you can dream of someday. Tonight when you go to sleep, you can just imagine your camisole in that drawer.

Cut to a Raquel reaction shot. She's like So if you pull the handle then something comes out and then you put stuff in it it's a draw Raquel It's a goddamn draw. You've got it So James is like really excited that Raquel is gonna be moving in and that she has had a whole entire drawer and so he's like trying to be like this is great news. Isn't everyone excited about this great news? Oh my god! What? What's the problem? Logan's like bleh. You're not excited for me? You're not excited for me and my relationship?

Do you have a problem with that? Um honey did you not see them at your fucking See You Next Tuesday? And she goes, what? What? What? What? What happened at See You Next Tuesday then? What happened? What you said happened at See You Next Tuesday then? And she's like, um, yeah, we ate all of her pastas. And she didn't even give us permissions. You're a bitch. You're a bitch.'m like, yeah. You're a bitch. You're a bitch.

I'm gonna leave, you're a bitch. You're a bitch, I'm outta here. You're a bitch, give me your drink. I'll have yours as well. Fuck both of you, all right? Yeah, she's been nothing but a fucking friend to you. You know, you have a fucking mind right now. You think you can be mean?

You think you can bully a little girl with a pasta? To you? Poor Raquel, a more beautiful woman than you'll ever be, Lala. And then Lala, whose line was not that good back then, I mean it's still not great, but she's like a master now compared to then. Because she just said, we ate her pasta and we didn't even ask her, and now she goes, but Raquel offered her pasta to us. And he's like, oh don't fuck with my bitch.

Alright, you need to learn to respect a woman, alright? Don't fuck with my bitch. Because I will fuck you, I will fuck, fuck you, fuck everyone around you, you stupid fat slut, slut, slut, fat, pig, slut, fuck, fuck. Because you're sleeping with a fat, cold, fitness man, a fat man. FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT I mean, listen, even a drunk clock is right twice a day. You know what, when James drinks, he'd be- The shocker about rewatching this is how wrong these people are, but how right they all are. I mean, their-

Yeah, but they don't get- Their judgments are all on point. Everything they predicted about each other came true. Yeah, but no, because you don't earn brownie points if you drive on the wrong side of the road and someone says you're gonna get hit by a car and then you get hit by a car. It's like the most obvious call to make.

Everything here is so obvious. And Lola's like, yeah, when James drinks, he just becomes a werewolf. So that's his claws come out the fangs and the bloods are dripping. They're just dripping. That's what happens to him after two drinks. He's like, oh James I literally said Raquel said you want some of my pasta. She begged me to eat her pasta, okay? No, no, stop talking about the damn pasta. Get over it. You've been a bitch towards Raquel, a real fat slut bitch.

She's like, are you really saying that just because I eat her pasta? I'm like, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, alright, you fuck the man because he pays your rent, alright, alright? She's like, stop it, stop this. Logan's like, stop. Logan. So Lala's like, you know what? You can't say whatever the fuck you want.

Learn your fucking place, bitch. We'll fucking cut you, bitch. Do you understand? I will slice you from forehead down your fucking gullet. Do you want to fucking stand me on the street? I'm fucking street. You want to see Gangsta? Gin and grape soda has nothing on me.

I'm Lala Kent. I will curb stomp your ass. So know how the fuck to talk to somebody when they're your friend, cause I'm out, have an amazing day. Wait a minute, when am I gonna talk to you again? You gonna talk to me again? You gonna just leave like that Lala?

Come on, I'm not gonna talk to you again. You're gonna talk to me again. You're gonna have to sleep like that. Lala, come on, I'm gonna talk again. Lala. Logan's like, bitch, go talk to her. So he chases her out. And he's like, alright, Lala, I'm sorry, Lala, I'm sorry. Skinny man. I told you that I ate Raquel's pasta and that's how you come for me? Like, what the fuck?

No, it was a dig. It was a dig. It was a pasta dig. What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you? It was a joke. Stop coming for people who have your fucking back. I told you I had a bite of pasta and the whole thing was devoured and that's why you go off on a drunken tangent. What? It's just a pasta. What are you going on about the pasta? Stop with the pasta.

It's not about the pasta stop at the pasta. It's not about the pasta All right She's no, it's not about the pasta. It's about Lola showing respect to my bitch. All right Mike how does how does she expect me to respect her fat man? If she can't respect my bitch horse luck? Like, come on. She's literally dating. She's literally dating a cheese stuffed ravioli.

Get over the pasta already. I mean, show some respect if you want respect back. Not giggle after you eat my girlfriend's pasta. I think my favorite part of that is like the emotional arc of him saying that phrase because the first one is like, it's not about the pasta! But then it gives him this kind of like sad place where he goes, it's not about the pasta. So she's like, stop touching me, stop touching me, don't touch me! And he's like, la la, la la, we can talk later, right?

We can talk later. Get out of my face. Talk to me later. Okay, I'm getting wet. Get out of my face. Love you, love you so much. Love you so much, la la. So now we go to Sir and Sheena, Ariana,

and Brittany are working. God, I miss when they actually worked. This was so fun. Whenever, I mean, there's so many classic moments that have come out of this show, but when I think back on Vanderpump rules like the scene that really makes me like get a tear in my eye is when Katie was marrying ketchup and then she like held the tray of ketchup for like a whole scene. I was

like this is real. Yeah those married ketchupups were the strongest relationship on this show. So, um, Britney's like, Hi, how you doin' tonight? Right, you fixed everything for me. And Sheena's like, um, were there girls talking shit about me last night? Cause I do not want to talk about this again. Cause my friends, cause a friend of my mom's was there and like overheard my name and saying that like I was using up this and that and the other one. A friend of your mom's was at La La Land? See, you know what the fuck you talking about? That was Aunt Pam.

Wasn't it, was that her aunt's name? Who's the one who was commissioned to put a halter top on the movie screen? Oh, that's Auntie. She like sorta invented crop tops. So. So, Brittany's like, well, Kylie was upset because you were saying

that she started a rumor and then she felt like you were gone doing the same thing. She was, um, I tried to to this group and now I feel miserable I don't want him involved with Katie and Stacey and Gina is just like drama that he doesn't need He's like way too busy and successful in this life to deal with her bullshit I mean, do you know how fast he can put up a TV on the wall? It is insane and I don't feel happy anymore and they kind of like took that from me and like they think they could do whatever The fuck they want they think and then they're the ones that

literally broke me they broke me okay they took away my happiness Dear guys I know that you don't eat cereal anymore but if you pull out milk and look on the back there's a picture of my smile and it says missing they stole it. And Arianna's like, yeah, it seems like Katie's the one who twisted it into something else. Shocker! There's something about her.

So, Brittany. Well, listen, I don't know if it's true, but I think she got mad, because she thought you guys weren't going to talk about it, and then I guess you were talking about it, and I think that's what upset her plus some lady who said she knows your mom came up and started eating Katie's popcorn you know Katie don't like that yeah well we were talking about it but then like her and

Stossie twisted it and add like more information to the story and like no one saw anything because there was like nothing to see with Robert Tocque Madera oh my god when was it my smile again? well mean, it's not like she made up the rumor on it's a honor run, that's not how lives work. Do you know up here, sometimes things sound funny because we're projecting out that way and this is what that just sounded like to me. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Which is like very accurate to Britney. I'm doing that with you too. I'm like side reading your face today. Like what the fuck is he saying? I feel like he's just like... To be fair, that is basically 13 years of our podcast. So now the Toms, Tom and Tom, are walking down the sidewalk and they're going into... Tom Tom! Yes!

Tom Tom! The site of Tom Tom! The old dildo store in West Hollywood. I love that, I just love that the dildo store became Tom Tom. So they walk... Did you say I remember it? She's like, I remember it! Hey, Leone.

I jerked off like a maniac with that store! Yes, girl. That was Chi Chi La Rue's dildo store, yes. Yes. So, Miss La Rue, we'd love to make a deal for your dildo store. What if we turned your dildo into a giant clock with a swinging pendulum over the bar? By Maestro Nickel-Lane!

We'd like to turn your dildo from a dildo into a dildo. What do you say, Chi Chi? So these two walk into a visual metaphor of their life, a pile of trash. And they're gonna pick up the debris to show that they can work for an hour. And Tom Schwartz is like, Oh man, we're gonna need a tetanus shot after this. Ow! Ow! Ow! I stepped on a nail.

He's like, have you ever stepped on a nail? And Santa was like, no, dude. He's like, I have. So now they have a little grabber because their job is to clean up trash, which, by the way, they don't do this whole scene. They just use one of those like little light bulb change grabber things. Like, oh, gross, disgusting. Oh, actually a dildo, I'm gonna keep that.

I'm gonna keep that. I'm gonna keep that. I'm gonna keep that. I'm gonna keep that. I'm gonna keep that. Because we're like not putting up a majority of the money like Ken and Lisa are, I wanna show them that we're like willing to invest that sweat equity

that we talked about, bro. So like we're ready to get down and really get dirty and ready to figure out and really get dirty and ready to figure out who the fuck the traitors are bro Wow you know what I did last night I got hammered this is a week after he was like Katie I'll never drink again short says I got hammered and Santa was like dude I know you did you passed out on my sofa. Katie texted me last night. I sent her a message saying,

just FYI, Schwartz is with me. That means for your information. He's on my couch. And then I sent a picture of you on my couch with my balls resting on your forehead, bro. He had the dip, man. So, Schwartz is like, Schwartz is like, He had the dip, man. So Schwartz is like, oh, Katie made it very clear that for the foreseeable future, she

doesn't want me to get shit faced and she doesn't want me to take shots and have no guys nights and I pretty much managed to do all three of those in one night. Oopsie daisy. What a piece of those in one night. Oopsie daisy! What a piece of shit this guy is. He's like, you know, I honestly thought Katie was gonna just go off on me, but then when I came home, it was amazing. She was so nice. She's never been that nice to me.

It was such a warm, loving reception. I was like caught off guard. Like it made me fall in love with her. It's called a grief... What with it. It's called agree What is it's called bargaining? What are the steps of grief the ego through? She's like, okay grieving the marriage Better than it never happened accepting that it never happened bargaining that it could be better

She's like this is you great. Do you fuck people great? You want to have some Doritos? I do too. Wanna sleep til noon, wanna never work again? Sounds great. Please don't cheat on me. And then we had a very like 2018, or I should just say pre-2020 moment when they're like, God, how do we put on these masks?

This is so strange, I've never had to put one on. I was like, aw, 2018. The sound of all is like, whoa, it's so great, like, you know, like when you cheat on somebody and then they're like really nice to you, that's like so hot when girls do that. So we then cut over to Katie and she's at Kristin and Carter's apartment,

who we don't see Carter, but you know, his presence is felt and Katie is like So last night I went to sleep early, and then I woke up at 5 And I look at my phone I had text message from sand of all it's a picture of Tom sleeping on his couch Yeah, and this may be like the 20th time that he's born asleep at sand of all house. It just like happens Yeah, so it happens. What are you gonna do and Chris is like? like happens. Yeah, she's like it happens what are you gonna do and Chris is like um do you have this tracker? Do you have this tracker? What do you mean? Like it's tracker like you shoot it into his neck look at it on your phone.

Carter started sharing his location with me when he was in Europe so I'm always like are you going golfing? He's like yeah'm like, are you coming home anytime soon? He's like, yeah. He's like, I'm still at the course. I'm like, okay, cool, seriously, bye. Mariposa out. Yeah, but like he was like, Baba, I'm so happy to be married to you, you know?

And he started talking about our kids and how they'd say daddy make me pancakes. So like I'm in love with him again. Katie, he was breathing liquor all over you while he said, you know he had like snot dripping down his nose. Who else? I would tell you I'd left you if I was as fucked up as Tom. And he's like, Katie, you know what?

You're not so bad. She says basically like if this had happened a year ago, she would have fucking had his head. So the clue that chapter has closed for her. I probably would have rage texted him and probably insulted his penis but you know now we're just talking about it. Marriage is good for us. Oh bless her heart.

Every time Wednesday comes around people call it hump day and I'm like this is the day Katie got married. It's a Wednesday wedding. The Wednesday wedding. It's like never okay for me. So now we go to the Tom, Tom's working at the site. Lisa and Ken arrive. We just see Lisa, she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh's me, Lisa Vanderpump. Come on, Ken. He's like. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Schwartzy poo, are you and Katie okay, darling?

You know, I'm just happy to be doing something and not just talking about it. This morning I jerked off to a lady on the corner and Katie gave me a pack of Doritos to take in my lunchbox. We're doing great, Lisa, thanks for asking. What is wrong with you? I'm actually going to sit you down

and we're gonna go over your marriage vows And we're going to talk about it, and then I will claim five percent of your soul He's like you don't have to talk about my marriage vows. They're right here in my heart I Don't need to go over them. I remember him anyway Rob a dub dub. Please don't be a bitch. Thanks, Katie I guess I'll marry you cuz you kind of made me Happy Wednesday everybody So we go back to Katie and you guys are doing but you know, it's true

You guys are booing, but you know it's true. I like at the end of the scene Lisa's like, Schwartz is a bit too old for these puppy dog antics. I'm like, don't worry, he completely does not grow out of them in over the next eight years. You're married and with that comes responsibility, eh Ken? Every day, pick up a purse, put it on your wrist, pick up a tiny little fluffy dog, stick your arm up its ass so people think it's a larva and she doesn't have to buy a new one and train it.

Spray yourself with a little something, put on an iron rod, stew it, we can go on with your day. Boom. today. So we go back to the other girls and Katie is talking about how you know sometimes you have to go through shit to get to a better place. They never got to the better place. And Kristen's like, oh speaking of going through shit and couples, so I talked to Brittany's mom and I told her mom that I think it'd be really fun to be surprised and her mom agrees so she's gonna come and teach us how to put white lipstick on our lips.

Yeah you know how Jax just cheated on Brittany? I thought it would be good to get her mom here to give Jax attitude about it. She was the one who sent her to Vegas knowing the Vanderpump rules was there in the first place to get that fucker So why shouldn't she suffer the consequences? So now it's time for Weho gay pride Which is always great on the show because it's more it's always the most chaotic event of the year and so everyone's there And it's all sorts of you know excitement and love is love and Drunkenness and all the good stuff. It's good.

You can cheer for that. It's interesting because it's what straight people do on Gay Pride. All the shots they show, it's just girls in bikinis going, yeah. And when gay guys float by on whatever prospective floats they're on there WAAA YEEEET YEEETS BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Rob's like, hi, how are you? Good, I guess. So I was on a rampage the other night because I snapped at Ariana and Briny over there and then I just let, because I just hit a breaking point

because I was like, I do not want to talk about the Rob situation anymore. He's laughing, the laugh. All right, look. Look, baby, life is hard as it is. That's why you want good people in your life. Yeah. You know, if I'm literally gonna be in your life.

Which you will be forever. And that doesn't work for me. I'm fucking outta here, got it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Um, oh, yeah well, I lost my smile this week for sure missing my smile I mean I if I lose him because of what these bitches said there's gonna be a real fucking problem friends wouldn't do this to me he's like

don't lose your smile because of people I want that smile on your face till the second I walk out your fucking door all right baby he's so gross this guy that wasn't even far off from his actual quote he told her he literally told her I'm literally gonna be in your life and if that doesn't work for me then that's it what the fuck all right so what does me pride mean to Kristin, you guys? So Kristin's like, guys, all right, gay pride, okay? Gay pride, we're protesting assholes that don't believe love is love, okay? And anyone that doesn't believe that love is love, suck a dick. Suck a dick.

But it's gay pride, so can all of us who also believe in love suck a dick, Kristin. This is gay pride, man. Give us a chance, man. So then Lisa, now it's crowded in the restaurant, and Lisa goes up to Lala, she's like, oh, I keep missing you at the restaurant. She's like, I know, it's because I want to chat with you. She's like, are you still with your boyfriend? We are noticing less fried chicken in the kitchen these days.

So I just wanted to make sure it's going okay with your boyfriend. She's like, that's great. Is he still rolling over on you in the middle of the night? Sometimes. Is he still asking you to eat out his butthole as you proudly, proudly claimed you did last season? She's like, sometimes.

Glad to hear my little birds are doing well. Yes, but like yesterday, James for no apparent reasons just started slamming my man's Okay, like one insult after the other was like very hurtful. Oh, but I thought you and James were friends Yeah, we are friends. But what I thought yesterday is not the James that I know I'm like literally does the James that everyone knows That's a James, you know is the James It's just like it's when the gun goes off in your hand at the wrong time. You're like, damn it, that's not, it's the gun.

You're using the weapon for everybody else. Sometimes it goes off when you don't mean it to. So she's like, that motherfucker, and she goes, was he drinking with my poor little James drink? Who forced him to drink? Who forced liquor down his throat, you tell me right now? Because I will tell you, no man in this restaurant does anything wrong

unless a woman forces him to. He's just a broken bird. So like, okay, let's go celebrate pride. So now it's more fun time. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. And they all, yeah, Stassi calls everyone upstairs to this balcony area to put little glitter stuff on their face and everything.

And I'll tell you, the one who wants to do it the most is Jax Taylor. Yeah, so Jax is miserable to be there. And meanwhile, Kristen is putting flower crowns on everybody. But it makes Kristen look like a flower girl at a wedding, just walking down the aisle because she's just like, I want a flower crown! Pedals are dropping all around. Here comes the caca! All dressed in caca! So Jax is like, yeah, anytime I don't have to take off my

shirt on and put glitter all over my body is always a fucking plus. Fucking gay pride, am I right? How about enough gay pride? It's how I played my fucking ret in Miami. I don't need this shit. To you it's gay pride, to me it's revisiting trauma, all right? So then Lala and Gina are having this moment

where they're just like hugging and Gina's like, nah. If you put your heart in my heart, then our hearts are touching and that means that like we're bonded forever. HAAA! I was just, Rob came, he was like so sweet. He was like, if I don't like you anymore, I'm gonna fucking leave you, you stupid skank. And then he was like, don't let people steal your smile.

I'm not gonna lose it until like he walks out the door. It was like the sweetest thing I've ever heard. But you know, like we haven't had sex in your smile. I'm not gonna lose it until he walks out the door. It was the sweetest thing I've ever heard. But you know, we haven't had sex in a week and I'm blaming Katie for that because that's contagious. I function best when he's functioning best and when he's happy, I'm happy. And if something's bothering him, it's bothering me. And the other day I was laughing

and then suddenly I stopped laughing. I was like, oh my God, did Rob just stop laughing? And I don't know, now my smile's missing. And Lala's like, Sheena looks like she just lost 10 pounds. I wish someone would treat me like shit. I know her not eating right now has everything to do with being stressed about drops.

This is not healthy, take down a chicken sandwich or two. Send out more gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. And then Jax is behind the bar and Ken rolls up. Because Jax, everyone's like festive and Jax just in like a t-shirt and also surly and looks like he wants to actually gay bash the people there. He does. He's like, fuck gay pride. He's got like a little flag. He's like, woohoo. He's

wearing his shirt. Jax, this is a straight restaurant. You have blown more guys than anybody here. Could you at least have a little decency and take off your fucking shirt? You've already done the work. Might as well enjoy the parade. So then the crowd of people parts like the Red Sea and Ken Motorsauber. Take off your shirt. Everyone, everyone I've worn my very special large Easter hat which we all know has a large brim to stop people from hugging me. So please gays keep a ten foot radius. Now I would like to introduce myself. I'm Lisa Vanderpump, gay icon.

Woman of the world, woman for the people. You might know me as the woman who introduced our first black character six seasons in and gave her three lines. And a comstained couch. And now I am here to introduce you to our first trans American waitress, Billy Lee. Oh thank you so much, thank you so much. So what is it? Our trans am waitress Billy Lee Automobiles are important to this restaurant Billy. It's really it's an honor just to be here She doesn't know what she's talking about, but it's an honor anyway transistor radio waitress extraordinary close you're getting closer sort of

Sorry, what is it? The trend I don't know what that is What is it? The trend, I don't know what that is. What is it? Oh! Trump! Oh! Billy Lee, go ahead, tell us. Hi everyone.

My name is Billy Lee. And I'm just here to say that it's just an honor to have a few lines on Bravo Television, so. Thanks for having me. And I'll just pop up, you know, every few seasons for the next few years, and I'll see you around. You know, I went through a time where I just wasn't very accepted, and I was filled with a lot of shame.

That's why we hired you, darling. The rest of the cast feels exactly the same. Welcome to Vanderpump Rules. So this is actually a really good moment and Jax has like a really cool reaction which is I don't know she was transgender I mean whatever she did looks great. And then he walks up to her and he's like... Hehehehe. He goes, Jax says to Billy Lee, Billy Lee, who has probably been the brunt of so much like hate and transphobia and just general tough times, Jax is like...

And that's just from Katie. Jax goes, trying to be someone you're not? I've been living like that my whole life. Yes, Jax, you are the true hero of the trans story. The trans movement. Finally, the hero of the trans movement, Jax. Thank you, Jax. Ladies and gentlemen. And he's like, yeah, I didn't know she was transgender.

I mean, what the fuck? Whatever you did, you got your money's worth, I'd fuck her. Fuck him. So he's like, you look amazing. And she goes, yeah, you know, it's just a lot of surgeries, but my vagina's amazing. Remember every time they had Belly Lee on, she's like, my vagina's so good, you guys.

Do you wanna see it? And they're like, no. So he's like, yeah, I've been like this my whole life. She goes, yeah, you know, Jax, I know you have your own shit and your own drama, but I really like your vibe, you know? And I looked at you and I was like, that guy, that guy's going through shit.

And that guy has coke. Let's be friends. So now we come to James. He's like, you're a good fat slut right here. This is one of the good fat sluts over here. I love you so much. Close, close but no cigar. No cigar if you know what I mean, fat sluts! And Raquel's just sitting there like... Rachel. No, not back then.

It wasn't Rachel. It was pretty Rachel. I'm not dead naming her because it's like back then. So Rachel, Raquel, top, top, look what you've done to me lady. So James is wasted and he's just like dangling all over Logan and then he does this thing where he does like a face plant right over Jax's crotch and Logan goes grab his balls, grab his balls. Yeah, so Stassi's like, look at all this stuff

I did for Pride, I got like, there's gay people out there. Good job, darling, you've done such a good job. I'm so glad that on Gay Pride I could give a non-homosexual person a chance to move up in the world. Darling, you've done well. So Schwartz is like, Oh, I want to do a shot out there. You know, it's some work in progress. And Katie's like,

Aren't you drinking pure today? Yeah, but I've done, I've done nay shots. Not even one shot. I think every little boy deserves a shot. And Katie's still in her positive mood. She's like yeah, I've been like trying to work on being a more calm easy-going as well easy-going wife and you know like Tom's working on not blacking out so Bop up come on. I rarely black out more than once in a day

So they've decided that's progress, so they make out. So then James and Logan are still like, oh yeah, you're fucking hot. Oh yeah, you're my favorite. You're my favorite. Yeah, do it. You're so hot. So then James is like, you won't grab on me balls, don't you? Don't you?

Just grab on them right there. Just grab on them if you want to, you can't escape pride. You're my best mate, right? You love me, right? Yeah, you love me, right? You're like, I love you, I love you so much. Yeah, you love me more than that. You like, really love me. Shut the fuck up. You're like fucking what a fuck.

I give you a draw. Raquel's literally like right here, like... Raquel's taking notes. So... like... Raquel's taking notes. So, and you, and then he like remembers, he's like, he's like, yeah Logan, you know I love you. I love Raquel too! I love you too, Raquel. You're someone that I definitely love. I got you a drawer. A drawer behind a room divider. Logan's like, oh you're here Raquel. Hi. Logan's like, oh, you're here, Raquel. Hi. She's like, I have this thing that you pull on a handle and it comes out and you put stuff in it.

Yeah. Give me your balls. Don't touch your balls. Put your balls on me. So poor Raquel, you know, back then. And so James was like, oh, you know, I love you. I know I love you, mate. And I know Raquel loves you, right?

Raquel, come to life. Someone plug in Raquel. Plug in Raquel, please. Ah. So James is talking to Logan. It's like this weird fever dream of this James and Logan thing. It's like it's all over the place.

And then he's like, you know, Logan, I'm never losing you as a friend ever. Cut to next week. So you guys fucking, what? Never, I'm never gonna talk to you again. I'm three dollars. I'm three dollars. I'm three dollars.

No, I'm not. We're not even friends. No homo, bro. And Jax is just watching them all over each other. He's like, who's the top and who's the bottom? So, Sheena, Sheena I just want to remind everyone that it's very important to Sheena that everyone stop talking about Rob. So meanwhile we go over to Sheena talking to Brittany. I feel like I've just been so angry this week

because of all the stuff with Rob. You know? And, well you gotta say positive Sheena. Yeah. I just can't even eat right now because I'm so stressed out. And Brittany's like, oh really? Because whenever I get really upset,

I'm like the complete opposite. I wanna eat, I'm so hungry, I crave anything sweet. I'll get anything to make me feel better. Okay, chocolate wasted is a real thing. That's why I still love Britney the best, because I can relate. Like, I don't get these people like, oh my God, I'm so stressed out, I couldn't eat. Fuck you.

What are you fucking bragging about? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? Get the fuck out of here. You won, you won life. You won, you won life. Ha ha ha ha. Darling, you look like you might be three ounces underweight. Is everything okay? What's going on, my dear?

Well, I want to sit down at the table. It's so hard. How long do you have? I'll make this really quick, okay? I've worked for you for like seven or eight years. Well, I can see something's going on with you the way that you keep picking up your phone and listening to ha ha ha ha ha on the other end. It's odd. Don't you don't look yourself. I would say you're five pounds thinner." She goes, oh my god, I know, I feel physically

ill. I'm trying to eat, but I can't. Here, have some goat cheese balls. She's like Are you not eating you already have the job It's like I'm trying I'm trying to eat, you know, but I let them affect my relationship I don't know if you heard but I lost my smile this week Yeah, Katie Christmas sounds you're so mean to me like I'm like happy I'm not around those girls Why are you investing in it darling? Why are you letting it affect your relationship? You've got a perfectly decent man who loves you none of that is true, but let's just say it was You know I remember I remember having conversations you have to stop trying to pretend like everything's so perfect. I remember having conversations with you about Shay,

and you're like, oh, everything's fine, everything's fine. And we see a flashback to 10 months ago. I thought Shay was like two years before Rob, but she was still with Shay 10 months ago, being like, everything is great. Like, Shay and I, it's like the best marriage of all time. We're gonna be forever. I worked so hard with Shay.

When he was an alcoholic, like, I had like 12 drinks in front of him. You know, I thought it would be like, supportive. You know, like, at least one of us still gets to drink. And it ended. It ended. We had a joint Halloween costume. I was print two and he was canvas.

Yeah, but Rob's gonna work out. We're like meant to be together. Okay, well, at least you're eating, darling, you know? You're not in a fit state to work. Not that anybody here really does anyway, but just stay there. Joe, Joe, please give her a croissant. You're welcome darling. This calls for emergency measures,

making someone at this restaurant eat something. So she just grabs a random turkey sandwich on a croissant, like whatever's coming out of the restaurant, the kitchen next, she just grabs it, and she's like, here Sheena, here, eat this. And you see Sheena looking at this plate of food. She's never seen a plate of food this big before in her life. Um.

So then we see Sheena and Rob sitting down, and she's like, ah, waving on him. She's like, I'm just so much happier when you're around. I'm just like, I don't wanna move back my room. Look how happy we are, we're happy, right? So happy. The whole day I've been so frustrated. I'm just like a fucking psycho girl

who like makes things up in her own brain, but then like seeing Rob and him hugging me and telling me we're good, just like makes everything else go away. It's all happening. Baby, I want you to think of it like this you're a tree in a park and I'm a runner and I see you and then I just pass you by and go on with the rest of my life does that make you feel better oh my god I got my smile back

I got my smile back! Awwww! Awwww! Awwww! Awwww! Awwww! Nothing that a turkey sandwich on a croissant can't fix. So then Jax sees Brittany and he's like, wow, you were really crazy in there. It's like, yeah, it was really busy.

I worked the entire three mile march in these hills. And then I worked for five hours shifting these hills too. I was so excited about it. Let me just tell you, I was so excited about it. He's like, your feet are probably really stinky. He's like, you look pretty, so pretty. Give me that money, give me that cash you made. Give me that tip, give me the tips.

And she's like, he's just such a tarter sometimes. He's like, you look pretty by the way and then she tells us sometimes I think Jacks are just a real charmer. So basically she's like go give me your shawl Jacks. Okay so now we go over to pump so now James is go James goes up to Lollie like you still mad at like, you still mad at me baby, you still mad at me, come on. Come on Lollie. She's like, here's the things, I love you very much, you are one of my dearest friends in the world, but if you ever come for my slightly overweight,

double chicken breast eating, ass crack of a man, again, I will curb stomp the fuck out of you motherfucker, do you understand? He's like, come on, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Listen, I trust you, okay? And when you talk to someone that way, it makes me not feel safe, okay? Am I safe in this relationship, friendship, scat? And he's like, yes, Lala, and you have nothing to be worried about, Lala. You can feel safe with me even though you're a slut and you can tell

Me anything and I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry. I Didn't mean anything. I just say things sometimes You know look I'm an idiot Okay, and I'm not allowed to do that to you ever again I fucked up, but you're also the fucking desire that you're just you've been fucking slot So they make out they make up and he like, we're gonna talk it out next time there's something wrong completely maturely, it's James and Lola forever. And he's like, I love you, give me a kiss.

And Logan just pops up, he's like, yeah. Yes, bitch. So we kind of end up happy, but then Kristen, it's like, cuckoo, cuckoo. So I noticed that things were getting happy after Pride and I was like, fuck straight people.

So I called Brittany's mom and I was like, get your white out, get it on your lips and get on a fucking plane. I've got a job for you. So Jackson, Brittany are at home thinking it just could be a typical afternoon and he takes really a psychotically large bite of that apple. Like that really should have been the sign. He'd like really, he'd bit right into the corner.

He's like, and she goes, Jay X, you always eat the biggest bottom apples. And Kristen's like, nougat. I got a surprise for you. And then watch Sherry. She's like, hi. Jackson, what have you done to my daughter? And you just see Jack's coming behind the door. He's like. He's like. He's like.

He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like.

He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like.

He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. Thank you very- Thanks Detroit for coming out tonight, you guys were awesome. Have a great night, see you on the People Movers! We love you guys, thank you Detroit!

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