Watch What Crappens - #2914 The Valley S2E13 Part Two: Fan-ning Flames on the Love Boat

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

This is part 2 of a 2-part recapKristen’s engagement celebration is in full swing on a boat ride from hell where Kristen lets Janet have it and Luke lets it all hang out. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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My name is TJ Raphael. I'm the host of Liberty Lost, a new podcast about who gets to be a mother and the control of young women hidden behind the veil of faith. Binge all episodes of Liberty Lost ad free right now on Wondery Plus. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, Hey, wait a minute.

I didn't hear part one guys. It's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay. It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So as someone who recently just read Sheena Shays autobiography, um, because I will be

appearing later this month on the wonderful podcast, glamorous trash, which Chelsea Devante is, which you were on when you talked about, uh, Ariana's book, I did Sheena's book. Sheena does talk about how she met Janet very briefly. And she says that she met Janet at the sky bar at like a fan thing. And she says that she met Janet at the Sky Bar at like a fan thing. And like the paragraph was kind of like, well, I met this girl and she was sort of like a fan, but it turns out like we like really hit it off

and we spent the entire night. And then we just like, like, I don't know, we started like hanging out together all the time. So like it is confirmed that Janet was really, she really was like a fan that Sheena, Sheena met and just like adored. And then Sheena just brought her right into the group. And she infiltrated the group.

Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da. I wish I had that passage. I would have read it on the air. It would have been wonderful. Yeah. Yeah, man, making it through Sheena's book, that's much more difficult than the Ariana book. Cause that one was drinks, you know?

There were just like, like your inner girl power piece, margarita, you know, it was like much easier to get through. I don't know that I could get through Sheena's book. Oh, Sheena's book is very easy to get through. It's pure comedy the entire way from front to end. It is one of the funniest reads you'll ever have. Everything is like, well, I was being bullied and it was like so mean. And then like Eddie, Eddie Sabrien made me like sign a thing that says I would never speak about this.

And of course, cause I'm a people pleaser, I signed it. Like everything is like, well, I didn't want to do this, but I'm such a people pleaser. I guess I had to do it. I'm such a good person. It's very Sheena. So she's like, well, I have a very tiny bottle of Fox. They're almost all out. I don't know if I have any more left for cardboard fan Janet. And Brittany's like, you weren't that Foxed again. That is hilarious, Kristin.

Jared Slauson So then we go to boat scenes. Everybody's getting ready to go on this boat. And Janet's like, this has been planned as our last night of fun. And I was looking forward to it. And I gave Kristin her night. So now I'm going to hang out with my friends. What's the worst that can happen? Maybe I'll get thrown overboard. I can't wait to go ruin everybody else's night. Got to have a hobby. So then they go to the boat and they're all, they're all getting on. And as they're driving there, Kristen, but dials Brittany. Like that would be my dream is to get a butt dial from Kristen because then they're all sitting there and, and all they hear is Jesse saying, he's like, put me in the ocean fucking

sea turtles. Like I'm excited. Like what is Jesse saying? And you're like fragments of Kristen speaking like a call. Yeah, it's a lot ocean. Oh cardboard bottle of fucks running out We better find a dolphin They actually got really lucky with that, but dial because that could have been a lot worse So now they go Michelle and Janet are just looking like oh my god, there's a phone and Michelle's like, oh my god Grizzden is a very buddy buddy with the jezzy and Jenna's like, yeah best friends forever and ever. Let's get her. Let's get her

so they go to the Prada, Maui boat and Danny's like yeah today's the last day of our trip I just hope we all get along if there's any kind of problems. Let's just put it aside I'm not gonna let anybody steal my piece. Three, three, three. No, I haven't seen like a piece, Daniel. So they get on. Luke is wearing these like, like really short shorts, like just showing off everything. Like it is a romper, like a sailor romper. Yeah, but they're like, they're up,

they're not only tiny shorts, but these also height them up high. So like his, it's not really a dick outline. It is like a, it's a full on like sack bold. Like it is out and in front, like everyone can just see his business. And I'm like, what, why, why, why did he decide to have this moment?

Like, no one else was doing it. I don't know what's so funny. He's in this stupid outfit and like, oh my God, I see your moose knuckle. So Jana's like, Kristen's being cold, which I expected. So I'm just gonna avoid her. And you know, I'm just gonna see where the live fests are in case it seems maybe better to jump.

I like Dave and Buster's. I'm a casual person basically. So now, I don't know, it's a bunch of small. There's a lot of chatter. There's a lot of chatter. There's a lot of snuggle getting seasick and everything. Like, oh my God, are you a gay stripper? Ha ha ha ha. And then Michelle is talking to Janet,

she's like, so have you and Kristin said hi to each other at all? And Janet's like, no, I don't know what to say. It's just a little awkward. I mean, it was so hard deciding between whether I should leave quietly or I should stay and intrude. I don't know, it's been a dilemma.

I've been going through, yes, you've told me 10 times about your dilemma. Yeah. It's been a dilemma. I've been going through. Yes, you've told me 10 times about your dilemma Yeah, it has been entered into my AI yeah, so then Michelle Janet's like when did Jesse start being an asshole and Michelle's like well, he wasn't a douche when I met him He was in a jitty one-bedroom apartment and he did not have money and it was super romantic because he had candles But then we made money and it's real. Captain douchebag game out. You should wear an outfit that says captain douchebag on the boat.

I think the outfit is called honey company. So then everyone like to change us out of his outfit, which is nice, etc. And then they're all like just gathering fun things on the boat and bring, say, hi, Jane, you all sit with us. You all sit. She's like, no, I'm going to sit at the table. That's right. Very close to you, but like not part of you guys.

So you guys can see that I'm an outcast right now. So I'm going to sit here with Jason. Thank you very much. I'm going to look as victimized as possible by sitting over here, even though I've been invited to sit with other people. Thank you. And so Luke gives a speech and then Zach's like, um, oh my gosh, you guys,

there's sharks. Let's throw chum in so sharks come. We could throw Jack's Taylor in there. I'm dead. I'm like dead right now. I'm like literally mother. I'm like mother. I just mothered myself. Is that possible? And I love in the background during all this, for no reason, we just hear Brittany go, I love bacon. It's bacon and chicken fajitas. I don't know. Brittany sent. Like if Brittany ever came out with a perfume. Bacon.

What was the thing she said last week that was cracking us up? She had some other thing that she said. Fajitas, chicken fajitas. But there was something else aside from the chicken fajitas that she said that was so ridiculous. Oh, wow, I guess it's the hot stuff. I thought it was chicken fajitas. I've been saying it all week.

It was that and something else. I don't even know. Oh, life, you know, just rots away your brain. So then- So then we go to see what Jax is doing and he's with Schwartz and Jax is like, hey, got some news. Guess who got engaged?

Dory, is that crazy? Yeah. And Schwartz is like, oh, it's always the bridesmaid and never the bride. Yeah, well, she was engaged. And Schwartz is like, wait, I'm actually really fucking happy for her. I'm gonna text her.

And then I'm gonna text every news outlet that I can find. Wait, no, no, I shouldn't do that. Wait, you should text her, you text her. Did you text Luke? He's like, yeah, I already did, but like, I don't know if you're allowed to know, so don't text anyone. Oh, okay, all right.

But I've already said something in the group chat, and also at OK Magazine, that's a radar online, National Geographic, and Dog Fancy. So I don't know if I had missed any outlets. I was like, yeah, you know, it's the one thing that's never gonna change about me. You know, I have big mouth. That's just how I am.

I got a big mouth. And then we see clips of him just telling shit over the years. I just wanna thank the producers for giving us a Jack scene that does not have violin or tinkling piano music that's supposed to make us feel sad for Jacks. Thank you. I think it's the first time this season that's supposed to make us feel sad for Jax. Thank you. I think it's the first time this season

that we, it's not like, poor Jax. So now Brittany and Zach are talking on the boat and she goes, you know, I know I just should not have told Jax and I don't even know why, but you also have to remember that he was my person for a very, very long time up until right now and continuing going forward. And Zach is like, no, no, I agree.

I agree. But I am disappointed in myself because I just, I know I knew he would tell cause I should have known he would tell. And I knew he would tell. And I don't know what I told him cause I knew he would tell. So, you know, I appreciate that, but like, I just didn't even think about it. It's like crazy. It's like, it's like when I first got married to him, I was like, I don't even think about that. When I first met him, him. I was like, I don't even think about that when I first met him I was like, oh, I didn't even think about that. Oh god. Look at my pickle that I'm in speaking which we have any pickles around here I love pickles with bacon So she's like I don't even think I'm back signing the Jax it's just he's my person

He's my person for ten years and it's like easy to meet somebody who still loves I mean, I would still be with J if it weren't for everything he pulled. For everything he pulled. You married a horrible fucking human being. Okay. He was, he before you even married him, he cheated on you. He was kicked out of Hawaii. He was arrested in Hawaii for stealing from a sunglass hut woman. Yeah. Oh my God. I forgot about that. The sunglass hot thing. You know, uh, the good news though, is that I think that, I think that rehab is really working.

And I think that like Jack's is finally he's just not no longer making himself the victim of every single situation. So we go back to him and he's like, I just got out of rehab and I got served divorce papers five minutes later. I mean, how are about that? That's me. I'm the victim here. Okay. I mean, it's hard. And I talked about to Brittany this morning about it. And I go, do you really, really want to do this? Like, are you really on board? Like, and she didn't really answer me. I'm like, do we exhaust everything? Do we go to therapy? Like, I don't know. Like Schwartz is like, no, no,

get divorced. Don't do this. Don't do this. Yeah. You want to stay there because she has a stream of income that you wanna keep stealing, you fucking low life. And Schwartz is like, no, I mean, what, without an angle, are you trying to instill a seed of doubt? And he's like, I was just like, can we just put a pill in it? Can we just put a pill in it?

You know what I mean? Cause like, I mean, is that a bad idea? You know, I just got out of rehab, how could she do this to me? It's fucking crazy, I just got out of rehab. How could she do this to me? It's fucking crazy. I just got out of rehab. Rehab isn't serving a tour. You know what I mean? It's not like you went and did something good for somebody. He's making it sound like, oh my God,

you were a jackass, sir, okay? Yeah. And he's like, she didn't even give me a chance to prove anything. Well, she did actually. And you proved to her that you are not gonna change because you texted her rage texts the entire time while you were supposed to prove anything. Well, she did actually, and you proved to her that you are not gonna change, because you texted her rage texts the entire time

while you were supposed to be getting therapy and working on yourself. So you did prove something to her, and she took that and she divorced your ass. And so, I didn't even need to add an and so, that was it, that was the period, period on that statement. So Schwartz is like, dude, it's just a ticking time bomb, and I mean, I think if you moved him back together, I mean, you would end up in jail. So,

oh, little boy. Yeah, listen to Schwartz. I don't think I've ever said that to anybody. But listen to Schwartz. He's actually correct in this one. So he's like, my goal is for Brittany. It's for like Brittany to be like, abacable, you know, uh, like, like be co-parents, you know, it's like a big deal. Cause like, you know, it's been decades, but decades being together, like, like you can't even speak at this point. Go get a new nose. Let's start there.

He's like, well, to be fair, I think a lot of my resentment came from the fact that for a long time I thought she was saying we'd be co-parenting together. And now I realized that that's not going to be part of it. So, Talk about a false promise. She started it. So then we go back to Brittany and say, I just can't deal with this drama for the rest of my life, which is why I call Jax every night. So I'm just trying to work things in. You know, I'm like, we can go parent. We have chicken fetus. We have bacon. You know it is. He's like, okay, let me just say this. Last night, I saw you falling back into a pattern. Like you telling me that you've

already given him privileges back that he hasn't earned. He's like, well, I mean, you know, Zuley was there. Zuley was there when he was there. So that's like, he only had the privilege to be around the nanny, Zuley. Yeah, no, all I say is you can come and give like, wake up and like bedtime and take him to school at 8.45 in the morning. And then if you want to make yourself a sandwich at lunch

and just like stay there for a few days, or I don't know, move back in, like that's fine. But basically that's all that that was. Yeah, and he's like, well, okay. These are divorced page posts. Look, are you going to sign them? And she's like, yeah, I'm going to sign them. I'm going to sign them.

Thank you. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. So there's just like more, there's just more boat stuff. Zach keeps like flopping all over the boat deck because he's like walking on boats it's like so hard and He's getting seasick and then Janet Michelle are talking and Michelle's chance like, you know, it's been like somewhat of a good vacation

I feel like I think so for the most part. So by the way when we were doing the luau Yesterday, you know hula dancing cetera, Zach wanted to talk to me and we talked about that Jenna thing and he was like, it wasn't malicious and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. So he has apologized. Yeah, and Jenna's like, well, that's nice. And Michelle's like, yes, this girl Jenna,

that Aaron's ones will get up to with, I suddenly always see her everywhere and I never saw her before. Michelle, I'm sorry, but you're dating somebody that fucks somebody in the friend group. What do you want? Like you can't change the history of the group. If you don't want it, then don't date somebody

who's fucked somebody in the friend group. You chose her, you chose him. Be more secure in it too. It's fine. They slept, all these people have slept with each other, so it's okay. So she goes, he was like, I just think that other people play a role in this and he actually brought up Sheena and you. And so we see a flashback of like a conversation

they all had together. And Zach's like, I think that like, you just have to like, like you think it's like all on Kristen, but like Jenna's plans and everything. But like, if you look at it, Janet and Sheena, they've been like talking about it more. Like they're the ones that brought it up and they're like trying to make it a thing.

So whereas Kristen never did. So he's basically like, don't be mad at Kristen, be mad at Sheena and Janet instead. Poor Sheena. Sheena's like the subject of all this stuff. She's worked so hard to get this feud going and she didn't even get to go on the cast trip. Yeah, well, that's what my first reaction was. Even though Zach was the one to bring it up on camera or to bring Jenna on camera, I thought this is for sure Sheena's dirty work. Sheena was all over that episode. In every plot line, it was something Sheena's dirty work. Like Sheena was all over that episode. Like in every plot line, it was something Sheena had manufactured, you know?

So not manufactured, but like brought up. So Jenna's like, wait, so Zach's trying to imply that it's not Kristin and Zach that are bringing Jenna around? It's somehow me and Sheena? No, he's implying that you guys are the ones who keep bringing up that Jenna was with Aaron first. And yes, that you're the ones trying

to make a big deal out of it, and he's just the one that brought her on TV. And so, Jenna's like, oh my God. Like, having some girl that's in, like, the outskirts of the friend group coming around and talking about when she hooked up with Aaron years ago is probably the most uncomfortable thing ever. And obviously, you're my real friend,

and I would never, ever try to hurt you until next next season because I've already got enough going on this year. So I know that and I feel that and as someone who's going through a worse divorce than anyone right now, I appreciate that. And Janet's like, and she loves you and I know she would do anything for you too because she is a people pleaser. I'm going to say that on her behalf. So this is confusing. So then Zach appears and and and she's, Janet's like, um, Zach, if anyone's trying to say that, like I'm trying to whip up stuff about, about Jenna, you know, and he's like, okay, wait, hold on, hold on. I'm going to go tell Kristen and have Kristen come talk. I'm going to have Kristen come join me. It's like, I really want to have a good friendship talk

with you. Hold on coming right down. Kristen, come let's go yell at Janet. She's like, I really want to have a good friendship talk with you. Hold on coming right down. Kristin, come let's go get the challenge. She's like, okay, okay, let's do it. So they both go. By the way, I just want to say that this is a great season because I love when all the scandals and the fights bleed into each other. Because now we're going, we're starting talking about how Michelle has a beef with Kristin because she thinks that Kristin brought Jenna around to sabotage her. And this discussion about what Kristen was doing is then going to set up the

other fight that they wind up having. That has nothing to do with Jenna at all, but winds up being the explosive. I, I'm like the fact that they can like interweave. I actually went back and watched this two or three times to be like, wait, how do we even get to this fight? And it's like fascinating to see how these, these fights feed into each other and they build off each other and they're also intertwined with each other. That's a good season of a show. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap. It's commercial. We act in bad, bad, bad, bad. We. We try to hurt nobody. For decades he was untouchable.

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determine who gets to be a parent and who must give their child away. Follow Liberty Lost on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So, Janice, like, okay, well, I just wanted to clear up where this Genething came from. And he's like, okay, well, I just wanted to clear up where this Jenna thing came from. And he's like, well, but Michelle was saying like, where did Jenna come from? And so I've known her and hung out with her and Chris is like, oh, I'm 17 years as long

as I've known her. So that's a pretty long time longer than a fan. Yeah, as an by the way, next year is gonna be 18 years. So as one icon might say, we're on the edge of 17 You know what I'm saying? Anyone anyone get the reference? No, so then Zack is like, yeah the week I moved her Moved here. I met with Sheena and like yeah, she called her her best friend Yeah, she knows called John her best friend like John has been around like everyone knows about Jenna Everyone knows Ben Mandelkir even saw Jenna and like the gym once like in 2012. So look like everyone knows about her

Yeah, but I didn't know yeah Zach's like well Ben Madelker even saw Janet in like the gym once like in 2012. So look like everyone knows about her. Yeah, but I didn't know. Yeah, Zach's like, well, yeah, Janet was around. And then she brought you into this. So yeah, so basically, like she was here first, right? And so Chris was like, Yeah, and she started shit that was unnecessary. So Zach says, Yeah, all this leads back to Janet and Sheena, all these rumors, you know, they're just, they're just as messy as a three year old that just got handed a bowl of spaghetti. You know that shit's going everywhere. Did you get that? That was good, right?

That was good. That's giffable. It painted a picture because I think we can all see what the three year old looks like and what the spaghetti looks like. And we've seen lots of Tide commercials. So we'll let's just use that. Let's keep going with that. Now, by the way, I love the little thing

when he gets in his eyes and he's like, that's a gaff, that's a gaff. I don't think that our sweet Mariposa is exonerated by any of this, by the way, because as much as I adore Kristen on the show, she is allied with Jesse at the moment and Jesse is out to prove he's, his big thing is he's out to prove that Michelle cheated on him with Aaron.

And so Jenna is like perhaps a smoking gun in this, in this situation. So I think that Jesse for sure leaned on the powers of Kristen, Sheena and Janet to get this done, especially Sheena. I think that Sheena is definitely the one behind this the most, but I don't think that Kristen is totally like hands off on this glorious mess. Silly, silly mess. But I don't care because ultimately you're fucking somebody

who fucked within the friend group, so he's fair game. Like that's it. And now he miraculously appears on the show to promote his honey company. So it's just another fan who's come on to work his way, worm his way into the circle. He started just like Jason, started with Sheena, and then he ended up with Janet,

and then they somehow ended up getting on a show. You know? They're all working together. Maybe we're selling Michelle, maybe we got away from what Michelle's really mad about. Maybe what she is mad about is not that he slept with Jenna. Maybe she's mad because she knows they're trying to weaponize Jenna to destroy like everything in her life,

like to prove that she was cheating when she was with Jesse and just sort of like to, to, to bring ruin. So maybe that's, maybe we've sort of, I forgot that's actually what she's really mad about. Like when Jenna was with him and because Jenna said, yeah, there's a lot. I think you're right that they're establishing. They're probably trying to establish a timeline, but I still don't care. I love it. This show is so good. Like, this is amazing. As we talk about it, like there's so much storyline happening here. It is, it is,

this is what I love our job. And I love that their argument in this fight is like, yeah, but Jenna has more of a right than you guys because Jenna's been on this show for years. She's been a bit playing around Vanderpump rules and she's done all of this. So you don't get to pretend like, how can we bring Jenna on camera? Jenna's been on camera way longer than you. So they keep cementing like, we've known her 17 years, this and that.

So if anybody has a right to come on camera in this crew, it's her, not you, which I really like that they're using their years on the show against her. I really hope that like Sheena and Jenna are on some like little inflatable dinghy somewhere around the aisle and just looking for the yacht. Like it's around the corner, I swear, we'll get on the show. We'll do it, come on, just around the riverbend.

You know Jenna's pulling a Katy and watching all of this from a hotel balcony somewhere So yeah, so they're just accusing Sheena of starting all this etc and and we see flashbacks and she was like and here's another thing About Zach he's drunk and he blacks out and forgets everything that he said, okay Oh, and here's another thing, but like I'm gonna like talk shit about your back. We're probably against your fact And here's another flashback. Um, I don't haveback. Just like, Oh my God, like I have just some up people please. Or I'll have one of each of the prime cocktails. So Michelle's like, Well, I was very uncomfortable of what you said to Aaron

in the moment that you met him. And she's like, Well, right. Oh, because like we asked Aaron if he's friends with Jenna, because that's when I met him. And I was like, Wait a minute, are you friends with Jenna? Because I thought he was friends with Jenna, like, sorry. I mean, that was me and you at El Coyote because I was frustrated because Sheena's on one side and you're like on the other side screaming bloody murder. And Jenna's like, that is not how I remember that situation.

And then we cut to her being like, calm down, take a stand. Oh, I'm sorry, that was the, that was the scene that she stole. Um, no, that's Janet. Or whatever. She's like, no, I don't remember that. It was unnecessary. It was unnecessary bullshit. Oh, look, Michelle was not dating Aaron in 2022. And I know that. Yeah. But like, what, what, why did you

fucking yell at me at all coyote and go? Oh, yes, you did see that Kristen accountability Accountability air quotes and I was like true colors great song and you've been my ass all summer Tell me you want to repair things and then you fucking scream at me like that And now we transition into Kristen and Janet's beef which was given we used Michelle and Janet's beef, which was given. We used Michelle and Janet's situation to now bounce into this feud right here. Like why you're trying to make things better with me. And then you yelled at me at L coyote. Well, I did want to repair things until you spread rumors about my husband and

say, Oh my God, we talked about in person. We sat down at the shark party. Another jaws tie in. We were at the shark party. Another jaws tie in. We were at a shark party. Like we were literally at a shark party. By the way, that shark party, now that I say it was totally, uh, I'm guaranteed that that NBC was like, please, uh, since the Valley will be airing during the jaws 50th, uh, you are mandated to have some sort of shark festivity happening on your show in

some way. Yeah. He does really love shark week though. She's always supposed to be like, shark week! Shark night! I wonder if those sharks like chicken plate as in bacon, as much as I do. Sharks love bacon.

So Kristen was like, yeah, we already talked about that. And you even said this was a joke. And she's like, well, I know my husband and I know he's upstanding and wonderful and trustworthy and committed. And he would never ever, ever put flour tortillas in a casserole. How dare you, Kristen? How dare you attempt to murder my child with allegations like that? No, let's move along. Hurry up. Hurry up. Okay. There's nothing new. my child with allegations like that. How dare you? Wait, why are you doing this?

Like wrap it up. Why are you doing that? Stop doing that while I'm speaking. That's so rude. I know who Jason is. Okay? I know what you're going to laugh. You're going to laugh now.

You are going to laugh. What are you trying to abuse me? Kristen is physically abusing me with laughter. That's what's happening. Kristen is assaulting me with laughter. Listen, I didn't accuse him of anything. I just repeated something. That's what's happening. Kristin is assaulting me with laughter. Listen, I didn't accuse him of anything. I just repeated something. That's the difference.

That's what I learned from Vicki Gunvalson. You're not spreading a rumor if you're just repeating one. Yeah, she didn't accuse him of anything. She just said a rumor we all heard that. We all heard the rumor. And she's like, you repeated a rumor to damage his reputation. Do you know that man stands up for corporations

against workers' rights? How dare you try and come for that reputation? It is golden. It is wild that Kristen's hiding behind this, I'm just repeating what I heard. The only person who's allowed to hide behind anything is me when I'm standing in my oven and the hood is blocking my face.

So like, I don't know how many times, how that's an excuse. I mean, you're just as much to blame. Your hands are dirty and you are a gossip. And like Kristen and Luke went and were like, Hey, this is being said about you. So they are, it's not spreading a rumor, but at the same time it was only like an episode earlier or earlier in that episode when Kristen was like, well, as far as I know, Jason goes out without a ring on his finger, kaka. So I'm like, you kind of did, yes, you did tell them about it, but you also did spread the rumor

in a spreading rumor kind of way. Good for you. Good for you. Two-year-old. And even she said it at the time. She's like, I don't even care if it's true. I'm just saying it because they keep fucking with Danny and Mia and it's not right.

So I'm showing her what it's like to be spreading rumors about people's husbands. Right. So she's like, well, and she even says it again. She goes, well, just so you know, I did it because you were attacking Danny and Nia. And I told you that in person. And I said it's because you attacked Danny and Nia.

And she's like, well, I mean, attacked Danny and Nia. I mean, I said out loud what he did and there's a big difference. There's a big difference in saying it. I mean, like, so like, sorry, sorry that I said out loud what he did and there's a big difference. There's a big difference in saying it. I mean, like, so like, sorry, sorry that I said out loud that yes, he sexually assaulted Jasmine and Michelle or Jasmine and Melissa at the bar. Sorry that he sexually assaulted people.

Sorry that he's basically a Jeffrey Epstein at Jacks's. They should just call it Jeffries instead of Jacks's. Sorry I just said it. Yeah, Chris is like, I'm Chris like I'm out I'm out sexual assault nope nope nope nope nope Danny's sexually assaulted someone I'm gonna throw off the fucking boat I'm gonna throw her off the fucking boat so she goes and bobbles off you know she's like waving her arms and like falling I'm so angry I'm gonna walk up the staircase in a very serious manner whoa

okay the one steady whoa a little moresteady. Whoa, oh, a little more unsteady. Okay, I'm almost there. Halfway up the staircase, I am angry. I am angry, cuckah, against the wall. Okay, let's get up, oh, against the other wall. Cuckah, almost there, almost at the top. Yeah, so first it's this, she's escalating. First, Danny's drunk and maybe inappropriate,

and now it's full on damaging slander. And Jan's like, well, that is the definition of sexual assault. Don't don't don't don't don't don't. She's like, my husband's a lawyer. So. Yeah. It doesn't mean that you are a legal expert. I hate when people pull that shit. My dad's a lawyer. I'm not suddenly like jurisputing, My dad's a lawyer. I'm not suddenly like jurisprudence,

petty petty petty, war, dear war, dear legalese. Like, no, you can't like hide behind that. Jen, like that's the thing. It's like Janet, there's so many ways that Janet can like win these arguments and she messes up every single time. It's hilarious. Like you just fucked it up by saying that Danny is sexually assaulted. It's like, it's first of all, a wild overstatement. And maybe it is, maybe if he were to be arrested, maybe that's how it would be categorized.

But we know we're not in the court of law right now. We're in the court of reality TV and you messed up right there, big time. Yeah, I'm looking, I mean, look, no one here, no one on this show is about to stand up for Danny, grabbing asses and saying, call me Danny. Okay. That is low life bullshit behavior. The man, I don't know, even if he apologizes a million times, it's not even up to Janet. I mean, it's not even up to Jasmine to forgive him if she doesn't want to. Okay. That is my honest opinion. But Janet,

Jasmine did forgive him. And so did Michelle. They've talked about it ad nauseam. It's been talked about. It's not your thing, Janet. It's not your thing to walk around saying that. And I'm looking up and technically it is in here. It says, part of the legal definition is sexual contact, any unwanted touching of the genitals, breasts, or other intimate parts of the body. So like, technically, yes, but I think that everybody knows when you say sexual assault, that usually means rape or something along those lines. Molestation or it just has such heavier connotations. Like it's again, we're not talking

in clinical terms at a PlayStation booking. Okay. So she knows the connotations of saying it that way and she can try to be like, well, sorry, like one of the problems about having a husband who's a lawyer, your husband does corporate law. So this doesn't do this. This is not even part of like what the, like I guarantee he's not coming home talking about like, well that qualifies as sexual assault today. Um, it just was, it's just a stupid, it was stupid on her part. And also, as they say later on, and I'm not even gonna bother getting myself all whipped up into a tizzy about this

because it's just not worth it, but it really is up for, it's up for Jasmine and whatever her girlfriend's, Michelle or whatever her name is. I forget what her name is all of a sudden. It's up to them to say what that experience was. It's not up for Janet. It's not for Janet to use as a weapon

just because she's having a petty fight with someone. I know, Janet should have said, yeah, like I said something that really happened, which was that Danny got too drunk and he was acting weird and making people feel uncomfortable. That's what she should have said. Or even if she said sexually harass somebody, you know? Okay, like I could, you know, fine, but it's just what Janet does. It's a pattern of what she does. She takes something and then she

twists it into this big, huge thing to villainize other people, you know? And she just looks like the biggest asshole every single time. So that's what she's just done. So Kristen's like, I'm going to kill her. So she walks up and he is like, how did he go? And she's like, I'm going to throw the bitch off the boat. That's how it went. Don't let her seal your peace. So anything about me, it's just not about you about Daniel. And there I'm respecting you by even calling him by that name. Oh, no, she's still talking about you. Danny's like, what'd they do to daddy? What'd they say? Janet has reached a new low. How dare she say those words about Danny. She has crossed the line. This is actual slander, actual defamation.

And by the way, this is truly the gift for a Kristen Doty. You know, last night when they were all trying to be on their best behavior, that is truly the gift for a Kristen Doty. You know, last night when they were all trying to be on their best behavior, that is not the way to celebrate Kristen. The way to celebrate Kristen is to draw her into some crazy fight and controversy. That is when she's most alive, as she is right now. This is the true, the true celebration

of Kristen Doty is this madness. This has just begun. So she's like, who said that Danny sexually assaulted. That's what she said. And sexual assault. That's what she said. Knuckle, knuckle. So Janice like, um, yeah, unfortunately for Danny, that is the definition. So I'm sorry that he did that, but I'm not going to be painted as the bad guy for talking about what happened. Okay. And so, um, we, uh, Kristen's like doing prayer hands like, hold on Marionette head Marionette prayer. Oh my God.

Jen and Janet cause I'm sure she's running around to Danny and Nia saying sexual assault cut to sexual assault and in sexual assault. So Kristen's like, yeah. And when I, when I, when I repeat, she goes to Jason like when I repeated, she goes to Jason, like, when I repeated the rumors about you in the ring, I was wrong. And I felt that Jenny attacking me, Danny and Nia, it was like glass houses, you know? And he's like, no, because you thought I was attacking Danny, it's just both of you, both of you.

And he's like, well, there's a difference between saying a random rumor, but and then saying stuff that didn't happen. And she's like, well, I was being a bitch. Okay, glass houses, like you go after my friends, I'm gonna come for you, you know? Do they make shiplap out of glass? Just wanna know, because we live in the valley now. So then Danny goes up to Zach,

sitting to me and Zach, he's like, okay, well, Christian's going off now, I can't even believe it. And Zach's like, yeah, I thought this conversation was gonna go the right way. I can't believe that when I dragged Kristin into a conversation that didn't involve her that somehow it turned into a huge drama. This is crazy.

But you know what the thing is at Abilene, she said it to me. Janet's a dirty liar because clearly Janet and her minions, AKA Jared, are going after Danny for more than just what happened on Halloween. So now we get more added to this story. By the way, Zach keeps throwing Jared under the bus, but they still won't put Jared onto the show really. Like, exactly. This is like the second time where he's like,

can you believe what Jared said about me? That's your cue, producers. No? No, and I'm so glad they won't because Janet is so clearly trying to replace Zach with Jared on the show and have him be the gay. And the producers are like, no, okay. Tell Jared in his murse to get in line.

You're not getting a minion, Janet. Sorry, buddy. So Janet, a Janian, that's what her minions are called, Janians. So Janet is holding court in a flashback and she's like, well, I don't know what he did and I know what he did'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I a wife, you have kids, like don't do this. And he said, Neil will always be up here, but I have a weakness for hot girls and little skirts. And she's like, oh my God, I did not hear that. That was crazy.

Oh my gosh. So, so now this is like the other, Danny's other infraction that Janet is told in a flashback. This is so crazy. And he's like, yeah, so Danny's like, well, I'm going to ask the question. I'm going to ask it. And he was like, okay, you can ask, but don't let them steal your piece, Daniel. So, um, he's like, so Zach said that Janet said numerous times when taking pictures with

fans that you said that I like girls and Jason's like, you know, the March thing, that's what you're talking about. Like apparently the March thing, right? And he goes, short skirts, something like that. Jason's like, I literally, I literally, I that's what you're talking about. Like apparently the March thing, right? And he goes, short skirts, something like that. Jason's like, I literally did not say that. Okay. But like eyewitnesses who were there have said that to Janet. Okay. Jared and Brittany said it. Jared and Brittany said it. I didn't hear the skirts part, but they said the other stuff.

Jason Bahlman So basically when Janet said that Jason pulled him aside and that Danny said to Jason, I love girls, I have a weakness for girls in short skirts, then Jason saying, I never heard him say that. But other people have said that he said that. So it's a lie. It's another fucking lie. And it's like Jerry thing again.

I can't believe people are lying so much. And like that was such a lovely day hanging out with all those young hotties in their short skirts. And now it's all ruined because it's all tied up in this rumors. Damn it. Oh my God, Janet's like, well, that had nothing to do with you guys. And I hate that it's being brought into this again. But when Kristen says all of the sudden, well, it's the same thing about the Danny and Nia

thing. Should I just not say anything? I just use the definition of what happened. I'm sorry. That's what sexual assault is. So Nia's pissed, you know, and then Jason's like, well, Danny, I'm sorry that's what sexual assault is." So, Nia's pissed, you know, and then Jason's like, well, Danny, I'm sorry it's hard, okay? You don't want to be talked about. You don't want it to be brought up. But you literally did these things.

And how many times have I owned up for it? You know, you can rub as, daddy can rub as many times as you want, as long as she owns up to it. I thought that's the rules, right? And he's like, but to blame other I thought that's the rules, right? Jared We both love Webster and his hidden staircases, guys. So, you didn't, okay, you did these things, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Kristen brought brought you guys up tonight. And I'm sorry that I had to say what happened. It looks like, but he's saying that she he did in it and chance like, but I'm sorry that you guys are getting mad at me for saying it.

So they're going back and forth about like, Oh my God, you said this, whatever. And he was like, we're going to take a break. We need to find our peace. Daniel come with me. We're going to take a break right now. So then Janet's like, oh my God, was I the one to bring up Danny and Nia tonight? It wasn't me. And Luke's like, yes, you've been talking about people that about people and things that happened when you weren't even there. And Kristen's like, yeah, you don't get to speak for Melissa and Jasmine or girls in a club. And you don't get to speak for them. Although I will speak for Danny and Nia, which is what I'm basing this entire fight off of. Yeah. And Jason's like, You don't get to speak for them. Although I will speak for Danielle and Nia, which is what I'm based this entire fight off of.

Yeah. And Jason's like, what are we in a world where if somebody makes a mistake, it can't be talked about? Yeah, we're currently talking about Janet's, sir. And so Kristen's like, you do not get to speak for them. And Melissa's like, yeah, you guys, can you stop talking about me and Jasmine? Because if you guys

don't stop, I'm going to pop off. Please do. That's all I want from you. Watch out for Melissa. She's gonna pop off everyone. And so then I was like, Oh my god, oh my god, like you just said it. Okay, that's why I walked away. You said it and chance like but you brought Danny into it. No, you said Danny, but you brought them into it. You said sexually assaulted, but you brought them into it. Get your weird hands off of me. This is all stupid. Okay. Jasmine, Melissa, that is

what you fucking said. That is what you fucking said. Jenna and Melissa. They are like actually not even making sense anymore. They're just screaming at each other. Yeah. And so they're screaming and um, Kristen's like Jasmine, Alyssa, that's what you said. And Jen was like, get out of my face, get your weird hands out of my face. Just own your words, bitch. Own your words signed weird handed Kristen.

Call call. Um, why are you protecting the wrong people? Why are you protecting the wrong people? It's like, nobody's protecting anybody. We just want the truth. So Kristen goes, get off my fucking boat. It's my fucking engagement weekend. How about that? Bitch. I love that. Like she, she didn't even know it was her engagement weekend, but now she's like, Oh, I'm taking ownership of this weekend. Now I'm going to use it as, as my Trump card.

And you have to go, I've done you fucking cycles. So then a Kristen joins Danny and Nia inside and he was like, I was just telling Daniel we can't control anybody but ourselves. And then it's like, we can't change anybody. We can't even ask him to wear pants in public or refrain from wearing pants in public that we prefer skirts. It's looked down upon. So, I've learned that lesson. And Brittany's like, I just like that that went so bad with Kristen, even though yet again, I'm the person that started this rumor that you're currently fighting about. with Kristen, even though yet again, I'm the person that started this rumor that you're currently fighting about.

Wait, oh yeah, because she's, Brittany is the one. He heard it from Brittany and Jared. Yeah, he said that. The family. That he said he loves, oh my goodness, it's so hard to track everything. So Jen's like, the best thing that I can do right now with Kristen is just stay away. And I genuinely wish her the best from her. And we're gonna go.

I'm like, okay, well you're in the middle of the ocean. But it's like, get back to it. It's over, the trip's over. Thanks. It's like the last event of the trip. She's like, we're gonna leave now. Yeah, you're all leaving. So they dock.

And Kristen's like, I've never been so mad. Don't make me knock your ass out Jan. Like seriously, seriously, seriously. Kristen's gonna knock you out. Mama's gonna knock you out. Seriously. Kristen's like, knock me out, Kristen, knock me out. I have just been assaulted by Kristen.

She goes, I'm gonna knock her out. And she goes, you're a fucking fan, bitch. And she goes, congratulations on forever. You're a fucking fan, bitch. And she goes, congratulations on forever. Ha. You're a fucking fan. I do, one of my favorite tropes is when reality stars try to create that sort of separation, like you're a fan, as if all of them are not like

aspiring to somehow like crawl higher up on a hierarchy as well. But I get it at the same time. So Janet's like, well, there's a reason it's crazy Kristin and not crazy Janet. Oh no, you're too boring for that. They just call you fan it. Okay. You're fan Janet. So you're Janet, the fan. I would prefer crazy Kristen personally. Fan it in Hollywood. Well, that's where it ends. So really fun.

Basic corn tortillas with cheese. Oh, that sounds delicious. Oh, that reminds me of tortillas with cheese. Oh, that sounds delicious. Oh, that reminds me of tortillas today. Um, great episode. So fun. Such a good season and still going on like this is a long season and I'm happy because I feel like there's still so much we have to sink our teeth into.

So anyway, thanks for being here. Um, and we will catch everyone on the next one next week, uh, doing the Valley with Dylan from Betches. Cause Ronnie is going to be, he's going to be off next week. So looking forward to that. And Ronnie can't wait to talk to the Valley with you in two more weeks. Yeah. It's going to be great times.

Talk to you guys later. Bye. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee e Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Etchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-lis. Hava Nagila Webber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

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