Watch What Crappens - #2944 RHOM S7E7 Part 2: It’s My Party, and I’ll Shame if I Want To

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

This is part 2 of a two-part recapThis week on The Real Housewives of Miami Guerdy retaliates against Julia by publicly shaming her at — where else — a cancer party. Plus, the debut of Carmen Carrera. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Travis fell in love with the perfect woman. Beautiful, understanding, available 24-7. There was just one catch. She wasn't human. Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now on Wondry Plus. Hi everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that we always get

your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. Every time we talk about him, you get, you get tense. Well, I do because like it's still my husband. She's like, well, and Marshall well and rest like yeah still our husband. I really helped out there, huh? So Stephanie's like She's like it really annoys me that Alexia Let's Todd get away with anything that he says like once and does and Todd like cannot once have his cake and eat it Too like he doesn't even forgive her a Birkin bag I mean, I'm just saying that she gets very caddy and very attitude II when you bring him up and she's like You know, it's like too much. Oh

Really? Like why are you so obsessed with Todd? Like she doesn't even know Todd. Do you want to talk? You want me to start talking about my suit? You want me to start talking about my suit because I can talk about my suit Which she will and you know, there's a lot of time to talk about there on the reddit So I can't wait till elect because you know, Alexia already has a folder this thick Marisol and Alexia are not gonna let someone come on this show without a full folder on their asses So she's like wait a minute. What episode is this because I'm supposed to wait till about episode 9 So yeah, the bottom is gonna fall out for sure for Masood and we all know it's gonna happen

It's so funny cuz with Stephanie She really is so obnoxious because she doesn't know Alexia well enough to sit down and start weighing in and saying these things. Like she's still way too new, both as like a friend and as a cast member. So she's definitely being really rude right now. But everything she's saying I'm co-signing with. I'm like everything she's saying, I'm like, yeah, exactly. And I love that she doesn't like cower to the hierarchy of the show.

She's like, no, I'm going to sit here. I'm going to say it to you. And when you like try, no, I'm gonna sit here, I'm gonna say it to you. And when you like try to say that I'm full of myself, I really don't care. I'm still gonna say like, this guy is bad for you. So I really like that she's fearless, but she is admittedly obnoxious too. Well, I think she's trying to be a good girlfriend,

like in her defense, you know? I think she's trying to be like a girlfriend and be like, no girl, you got this, be strong against that man. Like you just had a narcissist because that's what they're all doing, right? And Alexia had them all at a dinner and was like, no, you guys need to tell me, and like you need to like protect me from Todd.

And like I said, when I try to go back to him, don't let me go back to him. Like we already had that whole thing. I mean, Stephanie wasn't there, but I think she's trying to be a good girlfriend and be like, no, you got this girl, but you know, there's a time. Like when the girl is going through the bad problem

with a guy, that's when you're like, no, you need to get rid of him. How can I help you get out of this situation? But when they're in a good place, you can never say anything like that because you'll be turned against. I mean, come on, Stephanie. And you can tell Stephanie doesn't have any girlfriends

because she doesn't know those, she doesn't know any of those little idios't know those. She doesn't know. Like little idiosyncrasies. And actually that's what I'd like about her. I feel like her confrontation is very authentic. I don't feel like it's like, you know, there's that school of real housewives or reality shows that are unlike the Brandy Glenville or like Noella or whatever. I'm,

I can't think of other examples, but we know them, the people who are kind of like big, and they're gonna stir the pot, and they're always gonna push buttons, and they're gonna be brash and in your face, and a lot of times, they, you can just see they are really trying to have like a reality TV moment. And like, yes, I'm sure Stephanie is trying to have a moment, but I also feel like this is actually

authentically how she would react in this situation too, which is why I think I'd like her more than I thought I would considering how obnoxious that she is. Yeah, my only thing really against Stephanie right now is that she's not as funny as everybody else. But I'm going to, you know, maybe she just needs more time to warm up, you know what I mean? No, she's not funny.

Well, she's funny. No, her attacks are funny, I think, but her confessionals are not funny. Yeah, she's funny. No, her attacks are funny, I think, but her confessionals are not funny. Yeah, she's just not grabbed me yet, but I'm not necessarily a hater or a lover. I'm just like, I'm a fence sitter. I'm on the fence. So now it's really awkward. So Gertie takes the stage and she gives a speech about,

you know, cancer showed me I'm not always in control. And then I controlled cancer. Guess who works for me now? Cancer. Cancer is my secretary. I, I now support cancer just because it's my employee. And we're like families. This is taking a weird turn. I'm giving it to you.

I'm giving it to you in a better way. It's gotten in ways I didn't expect. It's my choice, my party. And I just had an MRI and the MRI results came back and I am 100% that bitch that wore a bracelet in the MRI and I shredden half my arm off, but whatever. So they all tear and Julie is like, I've been with, I've been this with Marina.

I'm like, oh, Martina. Okay, let's not have cancer wars right now. And she's like, well, you know, it's not easy journey. So I'm glad, I'm very proud of my friend. So Gertie continues and she gives props to her family and she literally gives Russell his flowers and he comes up and he kisses her and she introduces her sons and you know, it's all sweet.

And she's talking about how, until I breathe breast cancer, I didn't know how to redefine my life, but now I will be true to my emotions and we should all be by the way. So if you're gonna be happy, if you're gonna laugh, smile, if you're gonna be sad, cry, if you're gonna be mad, let it out.

Thank you for coming. By the way, this is part one. This is only part one. So stay tuned. Stay tuned. If you're going to publicly shame someone, if you're going to publicly shame someone, shame them. Now note that you all clapped for that.

So just remember that you clapped. I died when she said, don't worry, this is only part one. So stick around, stick around. Okay, I'm gonna send my family home now. So she sends the family home and you're like, uh-oh, this is where she's gonna give it to them. Yeah, exactly. Once she sent her kids home,

because they have to show it, because there are people like me that are like, I already saw the teaser, and then know that the kids are there, and are like, what in tarnation is about to happen? And so they show her sending the kids home, and no one realizes that something is brewing. So there's more chit chat, and Kiki's like,

by the way, you went at the gala last night. She's like, I was at my best friend's birthday likes. And Stephanie's like, oh yeah, the gala was so nice. Everybody got along, you know, unlike your party. It became a little crazy. And she's like, oh yeah, the gala was so nice. Everybody got along, you know, unlike your party. It became a little crazy. And she's like, what, you mean Alexia's party? She's like, oh yeah, the narcissist party, yeah, yeah. I called the Todd party because she can't take me telling her

that the event was for Todd. I mean, it's fine. It was, you know, and Lex is like, well, I can take it. No, no, no, I can take it. I can take it, but I'm not going to agree with you because the party was not for Todd. It was not for Todd. OK, OK, the event wasn't for him.

Let me please clear that fact. Okay, Carmen, Carmen, the event was not for Todd. It was inspired by Todd. Oh, you know why? You know why? Because Todd is a Greek god. That's why. That's why it was inspired by Todd.

You're a diabolus. That's why. You're delusional. So then, Gertie gets back on the mic and she's tapping. It's like, hello, hello, hello. I would like to introduce a special performer. But before I do so, I would like to shed some clarity on a situation that has cast a cloud on some of my friendships, relationships, and my character.

Please pretend I'm not reading from a card right now. And the women are looking around at each other. And so she's like, as these ladies know, an incident happened a few weeks back. I was willing to forgive and move forward because the water was filtered. Okay, it was filtered water. So I can move on. But then last week, it became clear to me

that this person chose to continue to perpetuate the matter even more. So tonight, I feel that it is necessary for me to set the record straight by telling the truth and exposing the lies, the lies, the lies, the lies. Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. Wasn't she reading this off of her phone? Was she reading? Yeah, I think she went over cards. It was one of the two things. She's like a prepared speech. Yeah, she really acted like the way as we're about to see,

she really acted like she, like she decided to whip this up last second. And this is like so blatantly planned. So now everyone, all of a sudden we see Julian Grudy's text exchange. It's on the screen. Adriana's like, oh no, look. And everyone's like, oh my God, text messages. Tense text messages. Did you take any screenshots of them? Because I did not.

But I was like, no, but we are lucky because our note taker certainly did. Nadine, you're a goddess. Thank you. So here's the text. Gertie, I'll figure it out. Julia, just got back to the room. It's Sunday's. Thank you. So here's the text. Gertie, I'll figure it out. Julia, just got back to the room. It's Sunday's party. I had no control over the list.

I guess changes were made when Martina canceled. I am sorry. Are you well taken care of? And Gertie says, to be honest, I was a little taken aback that I was moved to the side for this exclusive party. If I'm supposed to come in as Martina's replacement, I should have been extended the invitation as a courtesy, especially when I'm leaving the kids and my husband at home to be next to you as your guest. I'm sure you had no control over it."

So I think that's a perfectly reasonable response by Gertie, who is a Bravo star who should not have been sidelined. And Julia should have advocated and been like, you have to find a seat for my friend. Otherwise I'm not coming to this. I'm gonna be with my friend. Like I still think it's really shitty that Julia sided with like a Captain Sandy dinner, like a dinner instead of the friend

that she asked to come on the cruise. Like you have to stick with you. Like if Gertie had said, listen, Ozzie don't worry about it, go to the dinner. I'm gonna go have a meal somewhere else. It's really not that big of a deal, then fine. But clearly, Gertie was upset that she was kicked aside. I think this was shitty of Julia.

Well, it's also kinda shitty of Captain Sandy's people to be like, okay, well, Julia, you can come, but your guests can't because it's not Martina, so they're not famous enough. So they're kicked off now. You have to tell them to go somewhere else. Like, no, you're still going to use, you know, my social cred or whatever for pictures and whatever else.

So, I don't know, I think it's shitty. So then they continue and Gertie's like, well, considering that I was just trying to be supportive as a friend to you, I was not even in on the reservation for this restaurant that you guys put me at. They're squeezing me in and I'll be okay, but know that I would never let anyone do that to my friend who showed up for me.

And Julia says, So I didn't court in a dinner. All I am thinking about this weekend is Martina's condition. I thought you wanted to be here and would enjoy being here. Otherwise I would never have suggested to join me and leave your kids and wrestle.

I am sorry you're upset, but this is a work weekend and this wasn't done on purpose or to offend you. I know. And that's why I said yesterday when I saw you and redacted coordinating network opportunities that you would be okay without me there. Anyway, I'm a big girl, all good here, even though it's not good at all. And I'm just saying that the way I pushed hard to make sure, for example, Adriana wasn't left alone and got her into this thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So there's some parts that are like redacted from the text that they blur out.

So I don't know. I still think that like this is shitty. So then everyone's watching and like, ah, ah, ah, and Gerties tells the audience, the goal from this is not to prove who is right or wrong, but to show that Julia is a terrible, terrible friend and we're going to clear things up so there's no more doubt that no one should ever hang out with Julia. Thank you very much. Okay, but another thing is that there's nothing in these texts that we don't know. So Gertie has worked this up to be this huge like gotcha moment, but

there's really nothing here. I don't see. I still even after reading these because I hadn't read them before right now. I don't see what the big deal about these types. There's nothing in there. What are you trying to prove? I don't get it. On Watch What Happens, Gertie was on Watch What Happens,

and she was getting slammed in the votes. The votes were like, were Gertie's messages messy or whatever? And the other option, and of course she lost. It was like 87% against her. And she was like, whatever. And her explanation was,

And he was like, well, what were you trying to prove? I don't get it. And she said, well, I was trying, because you know, Julia said that I was begging her to come on this trip and I did not. I was there to be there for her. And these proved that I was just there to be there as a friend.

So gotcha. I still don't see where the gotcha is. So I don't see where the gotcha is. So I don't see where the gotcha is, and I also don't see why any of this is so offensive to the ladies. Well, I mean, I think it's... I see why it's offensive, which is that it's supposed to be a night for, like, celebrating cancer, and then you made it about this petty, you know, text message exchange, and I just felt like, um, I felt like a manipulation of, uh,

you got us all here under the pretense of us caring about something that's like very important to you and has affected a lot of our lives with lots of our family members. And you actually just were, that was just, that was a MacGuffin. That was, you were just doing that to actually settle a score or that's how it came off. And I just felt like it felt icky because, you know, it should be about... Okay, I can see that. But I guess...

So I think that's where it's from. That's where it's from. And, um... Yeah, that's basically it. But I also think that this cast, you know, just a few weeks ago, Julia made a huge scene at Marisol's wedding party. A hundred percent.

And that wasn't a big deal. Nobody gave a shit. And then she threw water on Gertie. Was it that at the same party? That was at the same party, right? Yeah, that was the same party. So that was a wedding event and that wasn't the place for that. And nobody walked out or paid Julie a treat. And they should have. And they weren't so offended over that. And that was way more egregious. And Gertie's defense for this was like, well, you know, I had the cancer party and then I sent my family home

and then we had the after party and I did it at the after party. So, so in her mind, that's how she separated it. I mean, listen, I thought it was, you know, I didn't think it was the classiest thing ever. I just don't think the ladies have the right, they don't have the leg to stand on in Valley terms after the way that they've acted towards Gertie this season

and responded to things that have happened towards Gertie. I mean, listen, I think she just got fed up and she was like, fine, you wanna be immature and play stupid games with me, I can do it back with you. Yeah, I mean, I loved it. I watched it and I thought it was, I was like, this is amazing TV. Uh, I was cringing. I, I did think it like,

this may not have been the best place to do this at your like cancer cancer celebration, celebrating people who survived cancer. Um, but I a hundred percent agree that the cast, like what Julia did at the wedding was like really mortifying and embarrassing. And it happened at a wedding and it just was like, and no one really reacted and everyone was basically acting like Gertie did something as bad as Julia did that night and she didn't.

And there was a really strong microaggressive tone to that entire moment. And then here it's like, they are all appalled. And I'm not saying that they shouldn't be appalled or grossed out by this, but I'm saying you need to keep that same energy for the other things. Or don't be appalled. Or don't be appalled because I think the one of the reasons why they weren't appalled was in their mind, they're probably thinking with the wedding, they're like, this is, this would be a great scene for a show. This is, this is, this is hilarious.

But for this one, it's like you should also not, not so actually. I think that the, the Marisol and Alexa from the beginning of the season were coming for Gertie. They got Julia on their side. They were like, she's too loud. She's too this, she's too extra. And so that's what Julia came out and started parroting this whole season. You're too much, you're too loud, you're too extra. That's why she has to keep going around saying, okay, I'm not yelling right now, I'm not being extra. I'm gonna say this very calmly.

So they've got her in this kind of corner where they keep calling her aggressive and extra. And so when the thing happened against her, they were rooting for it. They're like, good, Julia's telling her off and telling her she's too much and she's too extra and throwing water at her. So they were on the side of that villainy.

They were. Yeah. So now she's standing up to Julia. So now she's standing up to Julia. So they're being like little soldiers and they're like, oh, look how aggressive Gertie is. So once I finally saw these texts, I mean, if there was something horrible, like she was saying something private about Martina or she or there was something horrible and scandalous in these texts, that would be be one thing but these are just petty scheduling texts. Right but I think the other reason why they were acting horrified is because they had it in their mind and they even say it in about two seconds now that like uh-oh like if Gertie does this to Julia she could do this to all of us and all of our stuff that we text like nothing is safe

so they're just they're they're scared. scared. They're not because they're using texts against each other all the time. I mean, we've got like Lisa, you know, the fight is like, Lisa was friends with, you know, Lisa's boyfriend did an Instagram with somebody else's friend and they're like, Oh yeah, you want to talk about the text? What about what you texted me? I mean, we've had whole storylines on here. But they're having texts displayed in public versus, I don't know, I think being blindsided with texts

versus like back and forth in like confessionals, I don't know, I think it's probably hits different. And I think that ultimately they're scared and they're like, oh shit, she's gonna do that to Julia. She could do it to all of us. And they're like, we can't stand for this. We cannot stand that like, you know, our texts could be put in public in front of our peers, in front

of our loved ones. So I mean, I agree with you, Josephino. I agree. Any housewife knows. Anyone who's been on Bravo, but especially any real housewife knows and any person who watches Real Housewives knows, any text can be used against you. Write it, say it, forget it, write it, regret it. It's like a very famous term that comes from Dorinda.

I mean, it doesn't, for Housewives people, it comes from Dorinda on this show. But we all know that your text can be used against you. We've seen them print it out and use carted out many, many times. So if they're so shocked, then they are stupid and they need to watch Housewives more. It's time for a commercial.

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You know what it is? It's almost like, I'm just trying to drill down and to where the, where the differences in these, in these situations are, because I think we are totally agreement about everything in terms of being on gritty side and there's a total, um, double standard, yada, yada. But I think what it is is like, I think they're all prepared for checks to be, to come out at reunions and for checks to come out, um, in confessionals.

But I think the idea of text messages or like recordings or things like that being like being used without consent in like a public forum, in a scene to be able to build a whole big scene during the show. That's like somehow feels more violating than the other ones. And like that is where like the line is for, for the reality stars. And like, again, you have Shannon Bador who's freaking out at Katie Janella for doing a voice memo of when Shannon herself, Shannon's having a meltdown and acting poorly and she's freaking out when

Shannon is like freaks out all the time on camera. So you would think like, well, she's just being recorded by someone else, but it's like, there's some weird pact with these reality stars of like, what is proper behavior and what is improper? Like what's on limits, what's off limits? And the lines are always moving, but it's fascinating to me like why certain forms

of surveillance are totally acceptable and others are horrifying. I feel like it just comes down to who they like and they don't like. They don't like Gertie, so they're gonna make this the biggest deal ever. It's like you have on the Valley right now the whole situation with Danny,

who did a really horrible, stupid, gross perverted thing. And the way that they're using that and they're so up in arms and offended, but then they were fine when Danny was pounced by Jax, no one cared about that. Like when they exposed his genitals on that show or in the same episode when Jesse was wasted and he gave Kristen a titty twister, you know?

It's like, well, why is one thing assault and the other thing is not assault? Like they don't like it. They don't like it. They're going to come for damage because they don't like him, but they like Jesse and Jack. So they're not going to come for them for that thing. And so I think it's just like these ladies are showing their ass, you know, their react. I don't think what Gertie did was right, but I think that they're showing their ass by overreacting to this degree.

Because if they can hang their hat on something, if you give them something where they're like, oh, we can be righteously indignant about something, then we will take it. That's what's getting me is the righteous indignation, for sure. Because also, don't forget, Gertie got to have a whole season. Last year, she got to have a whole season

where they couldn't be mad at her because she had cancer, and she's going through cancer, and she really got to have her way. And you know how they were just sitting there like sitting there like so annoyed they're like, oh, she can just do whatever she wants because she has cancer. And meanwhile, we just have to sit here and take it. You know, that's what they're thinking. So now it's just so true.

It's dark and true. And now they're like, okay, well, she's over it. She had her season. So we're going to come for again because she's annoying us because by the way, let's also like, I love Gertie, but let's, let's,ie, but let's act like, let's not also keep acting like Gertie is like the easiest person to have a conversation with. I mean, she really does talk over like very, very intensely and incessantly.

It doesn't mean that she's, they call her aggressive and too extra and too loud, which is where the minor aggressions really come in, but she, I think it is probably hard to have a conversation with Gertie. Well, but the, my, and my problem with that is the people accusing her of that are Alexia. You can't have a conversation with that woman either.

You can't have a conversation with Alexia. She's constantly nodding and talking and saying, no, no, no, no, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. So it's like, but the problem isn't the crime that they're talking about. It's the person that's bringing the crime to the police. You know what I mean? Cause they're just as bad.

They're fucking hypocrites. And that's what's making me crazy this whole fucking week on Bravo. It made me crazy in the Valley and it's making me crazy here. It's not saying that people that are in trouble didn't do anything. It's just the reactions to them are so hypocritical.

Makes me mad. Absolutely. Absolutely. God, I love this show. So, um. I do too. But all of a sudden, all this conversation that we just had, like make taking it so seriously, I was laughing my ass off. Yeah. I love I'll take my ass off at the whole watch. What happens in all of Gertie's explanations? I was cracking up at two.

So funny. Like, yeah, we just got very, very serious. But the truth was watching it like it was was not a serious to me, it was like, this is hilarious. awkward and cringing all the things. And I'm in the best part. She goes, everyone's so offended. And Mary says, I'm leaving, I can't stay here. This is disgusting during a camp. So they're all getting them their panties in a wad or whatever. And meanwhile, Gertie goes, Okay, well, now that the truth is out in the open,

let's celebrate as I present to you, Rocky Lanes. And then she makes this act come out. Rocky Lanes. And like do this weird, this weird Cirque du Soleil dance all over each other. And she's like, okay, have fun, have fun performing. Like Jesus, and a way to warm up the crowd, lady. I know.

Oh, God. So everyone is like, oh, my God. So that was as 36 minutes earlier. And so now we see the origin story for this scene. So we see Marisol pulls Julia, and Marisol's like, well, I saw that Russell's here. And then we go to Gertie sitting with Russell in the green room.

And Gertie's like Russell in the green room. And Gertie's like, so did you and Julia talk? And he's like, yeah, she thinks you guys are making progress. How could she think that we're making progress when at the Grecian party for Alexia, she did exactly what we said we were no longer going to do. Let's do another flashback within the flashback. It's inception, everyone.

And Julia did do that. You know, we see the flashback to the party where Julia's like, hello, hello, listen, mister, very handsome narcissist leader person, please take off your shirt. Okay. Now tell me when somebody tells you something very painful and hurtful that hurt you deep in the heart,

what is your recommendation? How to move forward with a person named Gordy, Gordy, Gordy. So I thought we were supposed to be made up, but then the second you get in front of your So I thought we were supposed to be made up. But then the second you get in front of your little fucking friends and you have to be their minion, you come for me publicly again. Yep, exactly. And she's you know, I feel like honestly at this point in time

because she took it back there and I feel like I have no other choice but to really let the truth be had. I'm telling you right now, Russell, I am tired of giving grace. I am going to be a new person. I'm gonna redefine myself to be and that means I'm going to tick not gonna take their shit lying down anymore. We're going to teach her a little lesson and this is a totally improper choice. Bumpti choice I'm going to make right now. Nothing has been prepared. So she's like, oh I hate projection operator. Come here. I hate to do this to you, but I texted you something. And when I say this word, set it up for me.

When they go low, you go high. And sometimes when they go low, you go lower. And she does her eye makeup. It's so dramatic. I was like, what? I wish we had seen this before so we could be like, oh my God, what is about to come up on the screen? It's going to be insane.

I know. Also, I feel like it's so funny. Ever since Michelle Obama said that thing, everyone's been sort of subtly rebutting it. They're like, yeah, or you just go lower. No one has ever been like, we are going to go higher. Well, I think for the four years, she said that in a different time.

And then it just politically, everything went so low that it's like, when it seemed like there's still the potential to go high. At some point, that's no longer an option. Yeah. Again, watch South Park last night. You'll know that when they go low, you go lower. Definitely is the new mantra. Yeah. Okay. So Gertie is, so Lars is like, oh my God, that was like crazy.

Like, like, what are, why are we doing that? Like, this is like not cool. Like, like, I don't like that. Like, I'm sorry. Like, so Gertie comes out and Lisa's like, I'm like at a loss for words. And like, that's, that's not hard for me. Cause I know like five.

So, and the producer says- No words I do remember. Yeah. Here's some words I do remember. You're a narcissist. I'm a narcissist. You're a larcist. Gun one monkey, gun one monkey. You're the real tenon of this crow monkey. So this is where the producer tells Gertie like what's the smoking gun here? And she said well the fact that she said I she's pretending I wanted to volunteer myself to go on this cruise, but I physically walked out of. That's crazy.

That is crazy. So then we see a flashback, but Julia had said on camera, well, she volunteered to come with me in Martina's place to support me. So she never like begged to come on this cruise. She was, she agreed to, you know. Right. And Gertie agreed to, you know. Right. And Gertie is like, you know, because she even says, I thought you wanted to be here and I thought you would, we would have enjoyed being here. Otherwise I would never have suggested that

you joined me and leave your kids at Russell behind. You know, these texts show that I didn't beg my way onto the cruise I just left from. She asked me to, cause she was distraught. So Lars is like, you're going to do this in front of everybody. I don't like this. Like, I mean, I started to read the text message, but it was so long. Like once I got to the second sentence, I was like, what are we doing? The text message is this long. There's no name and emoji in it. The fact that she's exploding text messages from strangers, like people that don't even know our friendships. She's not even charging them. That's pretty low.

I was cracking up at this, too, because this is so Larsa. She's like so indignantly mad, and she has no reason, she doesn't even know why, because she can't read anything that's more than two words. She's like, I started to read it, but like, wow, it's like so long,

like I couldn't like even read it, so I'm just gonna be like mad. You didn't even know what the text message said. I know. She just knows that there were text messages and that... Very Kyle Richards coded. She's like, I'm not reading that. That was too long.

That was way too long. So Carmen's like, wow, that came out of nowhere. And Stephanie's like, rule number one, you never send text messages because they save every single one of them. Yep. Yep. Yep. And Alexia is like, oh, I hate texting. You know, I'm the one who picks up the phone and tells you whatever it is I have to tell you. Okay. So guess what, Gertie, especially now I'm not going to be texting you, not especially not

in front of Frankie and I'm not going to be having any texting, texting the girls. So Gertie is, Gertie is like, well, um, I promised we were not going to talk about anything in public. We were going to squash it and move forward. And at the Grecian party, she raised her hand and, yeah, honey, yeah, honey. So that's what I did. That's what I did. So Lisa's like, wow, note to self, don't fuck with her. Am I right?

That was like a public shaming. It's like that TV show with that shame, shame. You know that show? What was that show? Family Guy. You know, there's like a lady walking. What is it? Little House on the Prairie.

What is it? Sail of the Century. What was it called? Game of Thrones. Yeah, yeah, it was like the Game of Thrones. You know, watch Game of Thrones. Yeah, there's no way they used to watch Game of Thrones. She would not be able to follow that.

Why is everyone so dirty? Why is there a dragon? Why is there a dragon? Why do they have such big dogs? So Maryselle's like, nasty setup wrapped around cancer. Oh my God. And so Maryselle's like, oh God, take me to the loony bin. El Chapo had a ride underground tunnel. I want to escape.

Wow. You know what I would like? An underground colon that's clean like my own so I can just climb right through and get out of here. Am I right? Oh God, I don't want to be here anymore. And so then she's like, it's just, it's so fucking gross. I'm sorry. I just like, I can't, I can't be here anymore.

Marissa got in Gertie. I gotta go. I don't like this. I'm leaving. She's like, okay, that's fine. That's whatever. It's caught on camera. We're done here. Like, no, I just, it's awful. You know what? Have an open heart. Have an open heart tonight too.

Okay. I had this. Oh, I have an open heart. I have an open heart. It's like the most open heart. Like, no one here has like a more open heart than me. So, okay, whatever. My, my most open heart is empath. Okay. Empath. Bye. Yeah. I'm an empath. So Julia's going to leave also. And, um, so then Adriana is like, well, you know, she was upset that you asked a question with the guy. I mean, tried to talk to her. She's like, so then Grady is just like, Grady's thrilled. She's taking pictures. She's posing with the thing. That's like in me, in my meat era, which by the way, they're all in. If I seem to, it's always there. Any other. Is there any other era?

So Lawrence and Maryselle, Alexi and Julia all leave very, very upset and they stand outside and gather around talking about how offended they are by this. These moral upstanding pillars of society are just very upset. So Alexi is like, she was just crying over cancer. And Stephanie says, yeah, you know, my mom's a cancer survivor. You know, you don't take your cancer lightly like that. And Adriana's like, different people do different things,

OK? Because Adriana is mad at Julia because Julia's hanging out with Alexia. So now Adriana's like, you know, I'm friends with Julia, yes, but I'm also friends with Gertie. And my position in this matter is to listen to both sides and then try to bring them back together, which is, a year ago she would have gone out with Julia,

but now she's like, well, basically she's saying, if you want to be friends with Lexia, be friends with Lexia and see how she consoles you, because I'm not coming out there to do it, because you've already abandoned me. Yeah, Mary Suell's like, wow, God, this is like the movie Carrie. Remember Carrie when they dumped blood on her?

You know, that's what I felt sitting like there. That's how my colon felt today. It was just sitting there. It was invited to prom, then boom, you've got a finger touching you, you've got all sorts of liquids pouring all over. Someone's calling you a Nissan Juke out of nowhere. I remember when they spilled blood on El Chapo's head.

I mean, really, I think he was climbing through that colon with the bloody head. It really makes it all my metaphor. I'm throwing a lot out there at the people today. So then, Gertie is like, well, that was a slap on the wrist to say, don't fuck with me. That's all it was. Adrian was like, no, you have the right. You have the right to say it.

She was like, thank you, because she needs to learn a lesson, because she manipulates people. She does the Betty Boop act. She does the whole, oh, I'm Julia. I'm Julia Betty Boop. And then everyone is like, oh, look at Betty Boop. I never knew Betty Boop was Russian. And then she fucking stabs you in the back. Betty Boopkas.

I should call her Betty Boopkas. So then Stephanie goes out to where the other ladies are outside. And Alexis is like, oh, my God, I hope she doesn't come out here. She better not come out here because my heart is so open right now. And Stephanie's like, listen, I'm just gonna stay neutral, but I think, you know, it was wrong, Marisol, you know? And it was, that was rude, but like at the same time,

like I wanna hear both sides. And she goes, and Alexia is like, oh really, you wanna come from one side to the other and you wanna stand your ground? Okay, then if you wanna be neutral, then go in there and kiss Gertie's ass then. Cause that is very this show. Like if you're not with Alexia and Marisol,

they will ice you. They will ice you. And I don't think it's ever been said out loud like this. So I liked it. How could you say that? Alexia is an empath with an open heart. I can't believe you would say such things, Ronnie. So Alexia, Stephanie's like, Alexia, calm down.

I'm just saying there's a difference between kissing someone's ass and hearing both sides. And she's like, oh, really? No. Because like you have to come here, you have to go there. So like if you have to go there, then you go there. But if you're out here, you're out here. So you decide where you're going to be. That's not what I'm doing. It's not what I'm doing. Okay. I'm not kissing anyone's. Yeah, no, I'm not kissing anyone's ass. You're not neutral. And you need to fucking shut the shut the fuck up because I'm tired of you barking at me because you sit next to me okay I'm tired I'm trying to

understand the friend group I'm new to this and I just want to be neutral and what's wrong with being neutral what's wrong with being Switzerland maybe this is your room maybe because you're married to a crazy guy that means you think that this is your norm okay my calling can't take it. You leave me and my husband out of this because if your marriage was so great, you wouldn't be part of this shit show, okay?

You wanna talk about my suit? You wanna talk about my suit? Okay, let's keep it that way. Let's keep it that way then. Don't tell me that I'm kissing anyone's ass. Don't make it about you. Okay, I'm not, I'm not. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you're very sensitive.

You know, this is why I don't get along with sensitive people, you know, because you want to sit there and you want to be sensitive. Like, it doesn't work because I'm not sensitive, because everyone's always getting their panties in such a bunch. Like, I'm a bunch of them. I'm a bunch of them. Let's go out. Let's move on. So then Kiki's like, oh my God, I just experienced a whole World War II outside. Like Stephanie and Alexia going to kill each other. Like, what's going on? Like, I can't even focus. Like, everyone's on 10 out there. Like, speak some tongues.

And meanwhile, outside, Stephanie's like, Alexia, you have to be careful with how you speak to me sometimes. Don't come for me every single time you're next to me when we talk about Todd. All I said about Todd was that that party was rooted from the idea of Todd. And I will, I will never bring up Todd again. So Julia leaves a voice note for Martina. Yeah, exactly. So Julia leaves a voice note for Martina.

I'm on my way home, please don't fall asleep. I'll be home soon, my love. I'll be home soon. Goodbye, my love. God bless you. Ooh. Ooh. Julia's really playing it up. Goodbye, my love, God bless you. Julia's really playing it up. I will never recover from text messages that had nothing in them incriminating what put

up on the screen. It was so horrible seeing pretty standard back and forth text messages trying to clarify a situation up upon screen. So, now Alexi and Stephanie are still going at it. And Alexi is like, oh, we don't want to talk about our husbands. And she's like, well, I don't want to talk about husbands either. I'm just saying I'm not kissing someone's ass. Listen to me. And Lars is like, we expected to like come to like church to like celebrate good and like a church like. I've never been in a church. It's so crazy. Oh my God. Oh my God, we're in a church.

God, I can't believe we're in a church with El Chapo's tunnels with Carrie's blood all over the place and my clean cool and sucking everything up. I just like did like a flick video for my OnlyFans content right there in that little sink. Oh my God, that's the holy water. Man, man. Alexia goes, what the nomination is this church?

I have to know how outraged I have to be. So Stephanie is like, do you, do I think you're too good for Todd? Yes. Does it matter to you? No. Okay. So I never want to hurt your feelings about Todd. I will never bring him up again. And so she's like, okay, okay then, okay then, okay.

I appreciate it. So they made up. So this is where I kind of started swinging towards Stephanie's side a little bit. Because I was like, you know, she didn't power. She didn't run away. Exactly. She didn't make it a huge deal. And you can tell that she's had fights with people a lot to where she's like,

just calm down, okay? Yeah. She's like, I'm telling you what I think. And like, you're getting mad at me. I will get mad also. And then we'll settle down. But like I just, I, there was something about the way she handled it that I've really, really enjoyed. So then Adriana goes outside. There's so much going inside and outside and inside and outside.

So but Adriana's outside now and, um, and Adriana's like, no, I don't like this stuff like that, but everyone leaving is not cool either. And Marissa was like, wow, this is so humiliating. They're right in front of El Chapo. I mean, God, all that blood everywhere. It's the most horrible thing I've seen in my life. So Adriana goes to check in with Julia. Yeah, Adriana comes out and she's like,

no, go in there and show your text messages then. She's like, no, I will not steal. So Adriana is advised. I will not steal. She goes, no, but you have to. You know the truth. You know her truth. And she's telling you her truth, so don't run, you know?

And she's like, I'm not running, but I have nothing to say to Gertie and nothing to justify. Adriana being like, no, go back in there and be petty. Show your text messages. That's so 100% how Adriana operates. Like, well, this is an opportunity for you. And then inside, Gertie's like, I am a warrior, honey,

and I'm gonna release what no longer serves me. And when she goes down, I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna laugh. I'm gonna frickin scream. I'm gonna put up posters of text messages. I don't care. And you know what? It's my me era period. End of story. It's my party and I can do whatever I want. Don Don Don Don Don. Yeah. And that was it. It was so good. I just was like, Oh, it's so wonderful. I love it. I love it. I love it. People should be watching.

I know that if you got this far in the, in the recap, you most likely are watching this show. I know there are some people who just listened to us without watching the shows and that's great too, but you really should watch this show because it's so excellent it's so entertaining it's so great yes uh love you Miami thanks for being here everybody we will talk to you next time bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like allison king It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.

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