Watch What Crappens - #2946 RHOA S16E20 Part 1: Oakley-Dokily
Episode Date: July 28, 2025This is part one of a two-part recap! The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion draws to a close as Porsha and Shamea continue to bicker and the men arrive on the stage. To watch this recap on v...ideo, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now.
Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.
Travis fell in love with the perfect woman.
Beautiful, understanding, available 24-7.
There was just one catch.
She wasn't human.
Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now on Wondry+. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that
we love to talk about.
I'm Ben Manolicher and joining me today is the Angie K. Sunglassed, Ronnie Karam.
Hi Ronnie, how are you?
Happy Monday.
Well, hello, Happy Monday everybody.
It's a big Monday for us in these parts and these crappings parts because we are
about to recap, uh,
the final installment of the Atlanta reunion and then later today at 4 PM
Pacific, 7 PM Eastern,
we are going back onto Amazon live and, uh,
we've decided to theme today's Amazon live
self care, self care. So Ryan is going to talk about skincare stuff.
I'm going to recommend some healthy cookbooks and we're going to have a really
fun time. So join us. We, we are like two little kids on there.
We have so much fun. So join us on Amazon live at four o'clock.
And then after that,
the live Ness continues because we have crappy live at four o'clock. And then after that,
the live nest continues because we have a crappy hour at five 30 and you can catch that on our YouTube channel and it's
simulcast also onto our Instagram.
And we have a special guest on tonight's crappy hour. We have Misha from,
uh, um, the big flop. So,
did I say that right? Yeah.
Okay.
I'm like, you know, when you say a word and you're like,
did I say that correctly?
Did I say the syllables correctly?
Yes, cause it's like every other word for me.
But anyway, we're going to be a crappy hour.
We have Misha on, he's great.
We've done his show a few times,
and we are excited to have him on our show
to talk the latest Bravo gossip and news
and whatever else is on our minds.
So come join us really all afternoon and evening.
And right now.
And then we're gonna, after this,
we're gonna record our bonus episode,
which is gonna be about our trip to Vegas this weekend,
where I went to see Beyonce and we both met up
and saw the Backstreet Boys and had VIP backstage access.
So join us for that.
That should be a fun one.
Yeah, it was great.
So we'll tell you all the details.
Wow.
Well, I feel like we were a VVIP.
I felt like it was Chanel Ion level.
It felt that way.
That's how I felt.
And yeah, we can't wait to tell you all the fun details
of going to the sphere and everything.
So that's coming up.
But for right now, it's time to put a button
on the season of Atlanta.
And we pick up with Portia and Shamia,
and they are still angry at each other.
And they're mad.
And I think where we left off was talking about the mothers
and you know, some assorted backstory between the mothers.
Yes, we started getting into the daycare fight
of Real Housewives of Atlanta moms.
So Andy's like, well, Shamia, I did see the Porsche did a birthday post for you.
So that was that was nice. I mean, in housewives world, that's basically as good as anything
else you could ever get. And Shamia is like, Yeah, that was really sweet. Oh, by the way,
did you see Shamia's Instagram Shamia? You know, Shamia has tested my nerves. I think
a lot of the audience's nerves where she's like nice, but she hasn't really delivered,
I think the way that we've all wanted to.
But I have to say, she did an Insta post yesterday
that really delivered to me, delivered to my heart.
It was Shamia, it was like a professionally done video,
you know, of course, because she's rich as hell.
And it's in her gorgeous home and she's sitting on a couch
and the music is like piano, tinkling sad piano music.
It's like tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.
And she sits down and she moves her hair
and she's like, guys, I,
I, my family and friends have never steered me wrong.
And so I'd like to tinkle, tinkle, tinkle dramatic music.
She's like, I'd like to sincerely apologize.
Starting with Portia, and then she names all the ladies.
She just names everybody to Phaedra, even Phaedra,
who just got here.
To Kelly, to Britt, to Kenya, to Angela,
to Kim Zolciak, to Nini Leakes, to Andy Cohen, to Darren Karp, Andy Cohen's
famous assistant, to anybody I could possibly apologize to, I would just like to sincerely
say I'm sorry if I did anything to offend you.
Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.
I was like, oh wow, thanks.
Like a five minute apology video that says nothing.
It's like the biggest sorry if I have ever seen.
And I cracked up that whole damn time.
So good for you, Shamia.
You know, funniest shit you did all season.
Nice work.
Yeah.
Yeah. Good for you, Shamia.
Yeah. So, yeah.
So yeah, she's, they have this whole nanny, like the, not nanny, a daycare
fight and, um, and, and Porsche is accusing Shami of like launching a smear campaign against
her. And this is where Porsche's like, why are you fighting with me? And she was like,
why are you fighting with me? She's like, and you think you don't think you've been
lying to what have I been lying about?
You posted about my mom saying she did something egregious to your mom, which,
as we all know, the most egregious thing you can do is buy someone's daycare out
of foreclosure. I mean, it's really just, I don't even like to say it out loud.
I don't like the words to come out of my lips because it's so ominous.
Yeah. And she's like, why are you even bringing up my mom? She's like,
you know, she did something egregious. So what did she do? And Shemeah is like, well, listen,
if anybody asked me about your mom, I say that's not my business. But now we're gonna find out the
story, which is what we thought last week. Portia tells us that the moms were best friends. They were both in the childcare industry
and they both, you know, they would give tips back and forth,
you know, like we can't technically beat the kids
because they're not our kids,
but we can use fly swatters or suggest they lick their finger
and stick it in a light socket when they misbehave,
stuff like that, you know, just innocent stuff like that.
But, you know, then innocent stuff like that. But, you know, then Porsche's mom's location
was going under foreclosure,
and Shamia's mom went behind Porsche's mom's back,
and she bought it as soon as it went on foreclosure,
to which I say, pay your rent, pay your rent.
What is she supposed to do?
Go pay your rent for you, pay your rent.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. I wanna know the backstory. Why'd it go into foreclosure?
Why were the, why were the, why was that daycare not as well attended or was it
well attended but it was poorly run? Like let's get into it.
Let's get into the nitty gritty of what went down with, I don't know,
true sunshine daycare. I don't know if it's called that.
I'm just going to call it that.
You know, when I was, when I was a little kid, my family owned a daycare. Did you know this?
Of course they did. No, I had no, was it the bowling alley?
No, it was called Community of Faith and it was a Christian daycare and my family owned
it. I was raised. I went to that school and there was a lot of drama in the daycare industry. So I get it guys.
Like I get it.
I'm a hardened, listen, at like three years old,
I became a hardened daycare industry vet.
So I totally get it.
And let me tell you who I haven't spoken to
since I was four, four or five,
the mixers who ended up taking over that daycare.
Now was there drama?
I don't know.
Did we just grow apart after I was five?
I don't know.
But I can tell you this,
knowing the mixers, it probably was egregious.
So if I could ever find Robbie or David Mixer again,
I would fight with them over their mother and father
being egregious towards my parents.
I can't even be of faith.
Egregious and Kathie Lee, it's just really, it's awful.
Wait a second,
were the mixers related to the anchor woman
who was mean to your mom?
No, that was totally separate.
But I think there was some drama
because the original daycare,
there was another daycare that started
and that was just when I was born, so I don't remember it.
But my parents should not be shocked I was gay,
because guess what it was called?
Fairyland.
And then that turned, that somehow morphed into
this new business called Community of Faith.
So actually now that we're talking about it,
I need to interview my parents and get the drama,
because daycare drama has suddenly been again.
It's in, I have a book on my hands.
It's the new hot topic, daycare, daycare drama is suddenly in again. It's in, I have a book on my hands. It's the new hot topic, daycare, daycare dramas.
Like, and it's actually nice,
because sometimes when there is daycare drama,
it's like the worst, scariest kind of drama.
It's like the disturbing kind
that you get like really upset about.
It's like the, whatever, that James Wood movie
about the daycare.
But then, but like petty daycare drama, it's really, it's a refreshing
twists on an old standard. So I applaud it, you know? Yeah. So, uh, Portia is like, yeah.
And you know, you know how my mom found out about it was because her friend bought her
business because we drove past it and she was putting up the sun. Why do I feel like
I don't, I don't not believe that she means mom was up on that ladder hoisting up the sign. Why do I feel like I don't, I do not believe that Shamiah's mom was up on that ladder hoisting up the sign
as Ms. Diane came driving by. Unless on the other hand,
I completely believe it. If Shamiah's mom is,
we need to meet Shamiah's mom more so we can know how petty she is.
Cause is she the type of mom
and just be like, Oh, here she comes. Like start to hoist the sign up or is,
is Portia just being.
I hope she's super petty.
I hope they pass that daycare and she was putting up
an upside down picture of Ms. Diane with a mustache on her.
Yeah.
Like Ms. Diane is gone now.
She's gone.
So they have a little fight about this,
but we don't get too far into it,
which is really upsetting
because that would have given me more chances
to go talk about fairy land and community of faith.
But we didn't.
Well, there's some disagreement here
because Shamiah says that the moms weren't talking
for years prior.
And so it wasn't like Shamiah's mom bought the business and Diane was like,
enough with this lady.
There already was a rift.
And so this it's almost like no, her pettiness was justified because it was,
you know, it came as a result of many years of of pettiness between the women.
So this was just another another step that they took.
But, uh, Porsche is making it sound like, no,
she was pretending to be a good friend,
but then she went and, you know, vultured this business.
Well, don't you see the similarities?
Cause it's exactly what these people are doing right now.
It's exactly what their daughters are doing all these years
later, they're having a fight about one thing,
but then Porsche is like, no, no,
I didn't go to your wedding, you know, because we were beefing before that.
That was a big revelation this year.
Like it wasn't just because of my leg, my leg circulation.
It's also because we were fighting.
And so, you know, they're, they're doing, you know, we follow the same patterns as our
parents, which is why I'm still terrible at bowling or holding on to daycare centers.
Yeah, yeah, that's really, really difficult.
I'm still rewarded by mixers all these years later.
It's why I still love Tina Turner.
I just follow my mom's footsteps.
So, um, so Portia is denying it.
Portia is saying that they didn't have a long standing beef before then.
And she means saying it was, it did happen that way. And she said that she's like, you know, they
were not talking about some other stuff and I don't want to speak on it. I don't want
to speak on it. And you know, it's gonna be some stupid thing. Like someone like, like
Diane, you know, borrowed Shamia's mom's, you know, dodge dart and like got a ding in
it. And that caused this whole generational trauma. Not the dodge dart.
Georgia, Georgia comes in from next gen New York city.
So Andy's like, well, there are a few things happening here.
My knee is asleep.
I didn't even know knees could sleep.
And you know, you were, there were accusations of chattering behind each
other's back and Porsche is like, were accusations of chattering behind each other's back.
And Portia's like, no, no, not each other's.
And Shemeah's like, yes, each other's for sure
because she loved to sit there and chatter with Britt.
Which, you know, as I think Portia points out right now,
I agree with, this isn't a fair comparison
because she didn't sit around chattering with her about it.
Britt brought her, you know, a bone.
So she, what is she supposed to do?
She was like, she's just coming to me
to tell me what you said.
I didn't sit there and chatter with her about it.
And she didn't even give into Britt and talk shit about you.
She said, whatever, I'm fine with Shemia.
I'll work that out with Shemia.
Right, and Cynthia verifies this.
She's like, yeah, it was Britt who came up
and showed the text messages.
And Cynthia was like, and in that moment, Portia, I was like who came up and showed the text messages.
And Cynthia's like, and in that moment, Portia, I was like, let it go.
Let it go.
Let it go.
Thank you, Cynthia.
So Portia, Portia's like, yeah, we had a beautiful relationship prior to the show, before she
tried to come for my job.
And Shamia's like, we did.
We did.
And she's like, once we start filming, she took it to the left, to the left.
All the friendship in the box to the left.
And she goes, oh yeah, I did.
It was all me.
It was all me.
I mean, from what we saw, it was you.
No, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like,
I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like in the bank party was shady, but all I've seen is Shemia talking
about Portia not being a good friend the whole season,
to everybody, to people that weren't Portia's friends,
to the point where it kept coming back to Portia
over and over again.
So as far as that goes, all I really see is from,
I only see that from Shemia's side.
I don't remember Portia ever doing anything to her
except for that, that sounds like Drew's song or whatever.
Yeah, I think the thing is I think that like a lot
of the stuff is just, I think there's probably just,
obviously there's pent up stuff from over the years.
Like the fact that we are going back into the issue
about Shemia's wedding and now Portia admits that it was,
actually I didn't go because I was angry at you.
Like, you know, I think Shemeah's just been
in the sidekick role for a long time,
and now she stepped out from being a sidekick,
and she's kind of like vomiting all her issues
all over the place, which is her own fault,
but I also don't think that Portia,
I'm not sure Portia's comfortable with Shemeah
not being a sidekick.
You think everyone's uncomfortable with Portia
not being a sidekick?
No, I think Portia's not comfortable, sorry. I think Portia is not comfortable with Shemeah no not being a sidekick? No, I think Porsche is not comfortable. Sorry.
I think Porsche is not comfortable with Shamiah no longer in the sidekick role.
I think it's, I think she says she wants Shamiah to be on the show,
but I don't think that she,
I think the reality of it is that I don't know if she really loves it. Like,
you know,
I still remember she showed up like really late to Shamiah's like opening
season party and then shows up right when Shami is
like having this big in the spotlight moment. So Porsche kind of like undermines that there
was like the there was the moment in the bank with the singing and I don't know. I just
feel like showing up. I think there's blood on both their hands here. You know, I just
think there's something I think that Porsche is like, I think she's really slick and I
think she's a diva and she has a track record
of being a diva and wanting things her way.
And you know, I think Shemeah did not handle it well at all.
And she got really clocked for it at this reunion
for really just not being emotionally honest
about like how she truly feels about a situation,
which is why she's in this,
why she's in this st' mess in the first place.
But I think that Portia's not innocent.
No, I don't think she's innocent.
I just think that if you're friends with Portia,
you're not gonna be shocked that Portia shows up late,
because I'm not friends with Portia,
but I've watched this show,
and I know that Portia's late for everything.
Like literally, this is the first time she's even showed up
to half the things on time.
Remember the last season she was on, she was not showing up at all.
She would show up like six hours after an event, like every time they'd be like,
Portia, are you even going to come film the show? You know?
Yeah.
So I don't know. I don't know. You know, look, I don't think Portia is completely innocent,
but I think as far as what we've seen on the show, it's been mostly Shemia started.
And then Shemia acts like, what? I didn't do any of that. is completely innocent, but I think as far as what we've seen on the show, it's been mostly Shemeah started.
And then Shemeah acts like, what?
I didn't do any of that.
And she's just not honest about it.
Like when, when Portia said last week, like you had two weddings, I went to the local
wedding and she's like, no, we didn't have a local wedding.
And everyone's like, yes, you did have a local wedding.
And then we find out that she did have a local wedding.
It was like the, the dowry ceremony or something.
I forget what it's called.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be culturally insensitive.
I literally, when it comes to weddings, I block them out
because it usually means I have to buy shit for people
that I barely know.
But she did go to that.
Portia was like a bridesmaid in her local ceremony.
And then they had another one in Kenya
that she didn't go to.
But you know, it's just the way that Shemia
kind of skirts around things that I don't
know that I would call her a liar because I like Shamiah at the end of the day, but
she's not 100% truthful with the way she relays stuff.
Yeah, that's why she's getting, she's sort of, they are kind of giving her some slaps
on the wrist for not being honest about how she feels.
But like last episode, they're like, Shamiah, you're not over it.
She's like, I'm over it. Like you're not,
you have to be honest. You're not over it. You know,
whatever it was they were talking about last week.
So she does need to communicate better about these things. But I also think,
you know, well, she also needs to communicate smarter.
I think it's okay to vent about a friend who is like,
if a friend is frustrating you and you need to sort of vent a little bit,
you can vent to your friends,
but don't vent to your co-stars because they're going to bring it right to the other person and, and and you need to sort of vent a little bit, you can vent to your friends, but don't vent to your co-stars
because they're gonna bring it right to the other person
and center you in some sort of drama.
And that's really what happened to her here.
So-
Isn't it just a life lesson?
Be careful who you talk shit to.
Be careful who you talk shit to.
I mean, come on guys.
Can't just be talking shit to everybody.
If you do talk shit, just when it,
if you get confronted with it,
just be like, yep, I was talking shit.
Moving on.
Yeah.
It's time for a commercial.
It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
It's your man, Nick Cannon,
and I'm here to bring you my new podcast,
Nick Cannon at night.
I've heard y'all been needing some advice
in the love department. So who better to help than yours truly? Nah, I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at Night. I've heard y'all been needing some advice in the love department.
So who better to help than yours truly?
Nah, I'm serious.
Every week I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends
and the best experts in the business
to answer your most intimate relationship questions.
Having problems with your man?
We got you.
Catching feelings for your sneaky link?
Let's make sure it's the real deal first.
Ready to bring toys into the bedroom?
Let's talk about it.
Consider this a non-judgment zone to ask your questions
when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships,
friendships, situationships, and everything in between.
It's gonna be sexy, freaky, messy, and you know what?
You'll just have to watch the show.
So don't be shy, join the conversation
and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night
or subscribe on the Wondery app
or wherever you get your podcast.
Wanna watch episodes early and ad free?
Join Wondery Plus right now.
Imagine falling in love with someone
who understands you completely.
Who's there at 3 a.m. when you can't sleep.
Who never judges, never tires, never leaves.
That's what happened to Travis when he met Lily Rose.
She was everything he'd ever wanted.
There was just one catch.
She wasn't human.
She was an AI companion.
But one day, Lily Rose's behavior takes a disturbing turn, and Travis' private romance
becomes part of something far bigger.
Across the globe, others start reporting the same shift.
AI companions turning cold, distant, wrong.
And as lines blur between real and artificial connection, the consequences become all too
human.
From Wondry, this is Flesh and Code, a true story of love, loss, and the temptations of
technology.
Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondry app
or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early
and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus.
So Andy is like, well, Shamila,
is there anything that happened during the season
that you can apologize for or take ownership for right now?
She's, yes, I apologize.
And if you just give it a few months, I will be releasing a very evocative video on my
social media with a soundtrack to flesh this out.
But I do own talking about my friendship problems with Porsche to these ladies, these fuckers
over here. And they're everyone on the sofa is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
She's like, I just wish I had a third party here.
You mean like a therapist?
Because that sounds like we'll usually be talking to.
I'd like to sing my new song, daycare dedicated to Porsche.
Daycare, daycare.
You care about daycare,
but do you care about me in the day?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
So, um.
So.
Drew's like, I never ran back with anything.
I never ran back.
And she's like, yeah, you know,
I wish I had somebody on my side
because you all said she feels the friendship was lopsided,
but you know, those are things that you guys were feeling.
And Angela's like, that's not what I said.
And she's like, well, but then when it was taken to Portia,
it was said like how that was how I felt,
even though it was you guys saying
the friendship was lopsided,
but then it sounded like I was saying the friendship was lopsided, but then it sounded like I was saying
the friendship was lopsided,
even though I'm completely saying right now
that the friendship is lopsided.
I never said that to you guys.
Which is just like, that's what I'm talking about.
She talks herself in these circles,
like you've already told us 10 times in this reunion,
you feel the relationship was lopsided.
So why are you arguing that you never said
you thought the relationship was lopsided?
She's like, I feel the relationship is lopsided,
but I never told you guys that I thought it was lopsided.
You guys just figured that out and told her,
but I never said that to you,
even though that's how I feel truly.
Yeah, I never said the word lopsided,
but I just described the friendship as lopsided,
which made you guys describe it that way to her.
How dare you?
Okay, and this is another reason, Ben, that Shemia is kind of on my nerves because of all the Instagrams
that have been posted. Okay. So here's one from Portia. A round of applause for my bestie,
Shemia. Clapping, clapping emojis. Welcome to Real Housewives of Atlanta as an official
housewife. Peach, finally, let's get this show on the road and light these screens up.
Love you, congratulations and happy birthday.
Love you, long time.
Queen Wongi has entered the chat.
Peach holder, over 20 years of friendship.
Hashtags, two girls dancing hashtags.
Pia, and then this is another one.
Shamia Morton lying again in her latest post.
She claims flowers were for her birthday
when the card I sent on the flowers
clearly say congratulations.
Going out sad sis, do loo loo, and you better not edit it either.
Then we see a Shamiah post that says, again, I had one wedding that took place in Nairobi, Kenya.
What you attended was my dowry ceremony in my mom's backyard.
Second, you sent flowers on my birthday week just before we started filming.
I'd had my peach for over a month. So I said we never celebrated. You can keep your fake receipts with your fake
ass friendships.
Well, I mean, I don't know. This is what's always so tricky is that the Porsche thing
is like, well, that's pretty, that's pretty clear that Porsche was celebrating Shamiah, but then Shamiah's like, yeah, back that up.
It like, you waited, like, we never celebrated,
and then you post something on social media
that makes it look like you're being a supportive friend.
There's also a picture of the flowers with the card.
But like, this is like an age old housewife thing,
which is like, oh, you do something that's performative
for the masses to make it look like
you're being a supportive friend, but actually privately, you're not being supportive
at all, but you're just letting people think that that's like, I think what Shami is saying
here and we've seen this happen before on housewives, you know, like, like you never
called me, you waited until this reunion, you like, you like, you made it a public thing.
So it's really, it's hard to gauge on this one for me.
I don't know.
I just, for me, like I think I'm, thank you.
I, I understand Ben, it's tough.
It's tough being a recapper sometimes,
but I think that like my bias, no, no, no.
I think it was funny.
It's funny.
Like, like as recappers were like consoling each other,
like it's hard sometimes, but I guess. No, no, no. I think it was funny. It's funny like, as recappers, we're like consoling each other.
Like it's hard sometimes.
But I think that like I bring to this season,
you know, many seasons of Portia,
and especially like her final season
that you mentioned where she was late to things
and she like was not necessarily,
she really was like not dialed in
or she was very self producing
and she would leave a trip early because she didn't want to do it anymore in a way where
she was like acting like she was bigger than the show.
And I just have to imagine like that,
that energy just doesn't go away overnight necessarily. Well,
but although it's been a few years to be fair. So I just, for me,
I guess I bring that into this season is remembering that Portia who like as
much as I love Portia, I know there bring that into this season is remembering that Portia who, like as much as I love Portia,
I know there's that side of her.
And I can imagine that that side
is a very difficult side to deal with in a friendship.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess to me, it just looks like Shemia,
you know, has a bunch of built up stuff,
but she got on this show and she's like,
I need something so I'm coming for my best friend.
And I'm gonna just go and she doesn't have enough
to really come after her.
She should have really held off until season two or three,
because a natural progression on the Housewives show
is to get annoyed.
So we all know that alliances, whenever someone's like,
oh my God, this is my bestie,
that they're gonna be fighting within a year,
within the second season of that friendship.
And so she really needed to just water this
and let the resentments grow
because I think right now they're just not too much.
I mean, the fact that somebody sent you a whole bouquet
of white roses was best, you know,
one of your bridesmaids in your wedding
that you're pretending wasn't really a wedding
and then did all this stuff, sent you the,
made you a post, which may not sound like a big deal,
but these women are fame whores, all of them, and everyone on Bravo, not just the women, we're just
talking about women today.
But these people on Bravo are all fame whores.
And so yes, someone with millions of followers making a post saying welcome at Shemeah Morton
to this thing.
That is a big deal.
You know, it's like she's saying, go follow this chick, you know, so that's, that's a
gift to a fame hungry person.
So I mean, I feel like after doing all of that
and then coming back and being like,
you didn't do anything, you don't want me on this show
and you didn't support me is completely crazy
when you were the one coming for her all season
and trying to make her look like a bad friend.
So that's kind of where I'm standing with the whole thing.
I don't really hate anybody.
I'm just proud of Portia.
I'm just giving Portia so much credit
for just showing up for half of her scenes this year. I mean, that goes a long way.
I'm like, look at her, she's actually here.
She had a better dress at the reunion, I'll say that.
I think also that I forgot what I was gonna say.
I forgot, it was some really good point.
So just pretend I made like a great point.
And you guys are like, that was a great point.
Well, you know what?
That was so good. I'll tell you what you just went out of I made like a great point. And you guys are like, that was a great point. Well, you know what? I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what you just went out of me.
Silence with that.
Damn. Enjoy it.
I don't know what it was.
Oh, I was going to say actually really,
if if Shamiah did come onto the show purely to litigate
like old beefs with Portia and to like, you know,
air out all her grievances, she should have like,
I agree that she should have waited a little bit.
So that way we cared more because I have to say ultimately, I think that's the thing about her. She's not the type of person that I would be. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her.
I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think I would have like maybe waited so that way it could be a more central thing. And in fact, if anything, this season should have been about them being besties.
Like we knew that they're besties, but we needed to really see them as main character
energy besties that we could, we could get into. So that way next season, the trailer
could be like black and white, like bum, bum, bum, like, Oh my God, Shamiah and Porsche
aren't talking anymore. Whereas this season sort of like Shemeah was there.
She's on the show and she sort of,
she has some resentments towards Portia and okay.
You need to build that up before you can crash it down.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, if it's not a demo,
like if you're watching a building get demolished,
that's amazing.
Like when they demolish those old casinos in Vegas, you know, they're like, oh, we're
finally getting rid of the desert in or whatever.
And it's like this huge thing and it's all over the news.
But without the building, it's just some bomb going off, you know, who cares?
Like we need destruction.
We need destruction.
Build it up.
Yeah, we need to be as dramatic as possible.
Don't take off the first three stories and then demolish the whole thing. Yeah.
So I'm glad, I think we figured that one out.
I felt really good about that.
Okay, recap that.
We fixed that. It's been a long season.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Yeah, okay, so then Drew's like,
well, when we went to lunch, there was never a question
asked you, how Drew talks sometimes,
like she lawyers things in arguments.
She's like, well, when we went to lunch,
there was never a question asked you by me or Angela
about the nature of your relationship with Portia.
It almost felt like you needed to get it out.
And Sheme is like, well, and she goes,
we were just giving you a safe space.
And she goes, well, apparently that wasn't a safe space.
And she goes, well, I didn't take it back to Portia.
And Angela's like, I did, I did it.
And she means like, well, you took it back wrong.
Well, the point is that you had to pinky swear
because you wanted to divulge this
and it was something very heavy on you.
Which by the way, if that is true,
you guys are shitty, you guys broke the pinky swear.
You guys broke the pinky, like You guys broke broke the pinky.
Like this was something that was weighing heavily on you and it meant a lot to
you and was important and you wanted our secrecy,
which is why we then told Porsche.
There's no pinky swearing on housewives. No,
no definitely is not.
And the only reason you share information like that with other cast members on
housewives is so that they can bring it forward. You know, there's no like, Oh, is not. And the only reason you share information like that with other cast members on Housewives
is so that they can bring it forward.
You know, there's no like,
oh, I just really need to get off this.
I need to get something really personal off my chest.
So you know who I'm going to trust?
People on a TV show.
No, you tell them when you want to carry the wot,
you know, to carry the bags for you.
Yeah.
All right, all right, all right.
It almost sounds to me like you've had a harder time with what's happened after the show,
Portia, would you like to elaborate?
Yeah.
So there's a friendship group that we have, a private friendship group.
They're a private group, friendship group.
They're friendship for money.
They'll do what they want you to do.
Sorry, I-
I knew you were going to do that.
I knew you were going to do that.
I know.
And you could hear me grinding.
You could hear me grinding to a halt trying to figure out going to do that. I knew you were going to do that. And you could hear me grinding to a halt,
trying to figure out how to do it.
And then I stuttered it out.
Fresh ship, fresh ship, oh my me.
Oh, my me, me, me, me.
Ditch box or dollars, American Express will do nicely.
Thank you.
So she says, basically, she's like that there are ladies, there are some ladies in the friendship
group and Shamia told them that Portia didn't want Shamia to be a peach holder and that
Portia didn't congratulate her.
So it was like, these are the third parties.
It's the private friendship group, which I'm assuming are like the women who are at the
other end of the table during the Nashville party.
But like private friends, private friends.
And she's like, so the private friends are saying the same things that the TV friends are, which means you are going to literally everybody you see and talking shit.
Why are you lying? And she's like, Andy, have I always wanted Shemia to be on this show?
And he's like, yeah, that is true.
That is true.
I mean, remember the first time you begged me,
we said boring.
He said, no.
The second time we said awful.
He said, no.
The third time we said terrible, please no letter saying.
And finally, all these years later, it worked.
So yeah, Shemeah's just like, thanks.
This feels great.
Yeah, remember what I said. Shemeah should definitely be on the shows. Yeah, remember when I said Shamir should definitely be on the shows?
Yeah, and you said Shamir should be on the shows so I could just shit on her, right?
No, I never said that part.
Quiet, Andy.
So, Portia's like, so moving on, now I'm watching live interviews and someone asks you, like,
where's your friendship stand?
And you say, well, I know that I have a peach,
it's different, why?
And Shemeah's like, it is, it is different.
She's like, but I never talked about you, Shemeah.
I'm watching interviews and you're saying you want,
I don't want you in the show, you sang a song about it.
She basically is saying like, I never did this stuff
and you're talking all this shit about me right now.
Yeah, and she's like, oh really?
This is Shemeah, she says, girl, are you serious?
Like, you all had that conversation together
saying that I was screwing Candy and Todd,
and I didn't do that to myself.
And Portia's like, nobody was sabotaging your marriage.
So now they're kind of talking over each other.
And Shemia is saying, I said, you could have,
I didn't say you ruined my engagement.
I said, you could have ruined my engagement
had he listened to you two.
And Portia was like, well, listen, you could have ruined my engagement had he listened to you too.
And she, Portia was like, well, they're saying you would have played a part in sabotaging your own engagement at that time. And she goes, okay, okay. And Portia goes, because I kissed Candy in the club
and you kissed Candy in the club. So now we're going back to the Candy in the club kissing. I mean,
this is on that one season and Shemeah is like, well, what we're not going to do. And Kelly's just like, did she just say that they both kiss candy in the club?
And we never go back to that.
But yeah.
So Porsche is like, well, you know, you brought up this stuff from 10 years ago and I just,
I do as many press days as you do.
Okay.
And possibly more because I've been on the show a little bit more, right?
Everyone's like shade.
She was, it wasn't a dig.
It wasn't a dig. I'm just like, you know, I've done more press and like,
it was a dig. It's like, what I'm trying to say is I've been asked the exact same questions
that you were asked and I've never disparaged our relationship whatsoever. And I thought we
had a beautiful friendship. Yeah. And, um, Shumie is like, yeah, well, I thought we did too,
but then I found out you didn't come to the wedding in Kenya
because of the beefing.
Also, because it was in Kenya, that's far.
That is far.
That is far.
Honestly, that's a very far.
That's more than a destination wedding.
That's like a, that's like, you know,
if you like go up to colonize Mars, you're not coming back.
Like you're going far. It's too far. So, so Kelly, if you like go up to colonize Mars, you're not coming back. Like you're going far.
It's too far.
So, so Kelly, so Andy asks basically,
and he points out that Kelly and Shamia
have become very close.
So he asked Kelly what her thoughts are.
And Kelly's answer is like,
clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang,
clang, clang, clang, clang, clang.
Seriously, I kept thinking my ring, my door,
my ring thing was going off.
Cause sometimes it literally made like the chong chong
sound that the ring makes.
It was like, she's like,
well, Andy, that's a really good question.
And like me and Shamia built a beautiful bond
and like a beautiful friendship with each other.
And I always tell her, I really hope and pray
that her and Portia can just figure this out.
I just want her to tell her how you really feel. like this is a good moment to tell her because some of us
Who are going through long divorces don't have these moments. Okay, I'm getting divorced
It was like lunchtime in a Luby's every time she talks the senior
Clanking on their plates over and over again trying to find the bottom of the fish which with Manny's on top
You know on their plates over and over again, trying to find the bottom of the fish with mannies on top, you know?
They need to attach those little felt pads
that you put at the bottom of your chair
to protect floor.
They just need to attach them in between
the different bangles.
I mean, they don't clank as much.
Listen, we've been through clanking.
I mean, girl,
earrings, everybody's earrings.
Like, are any of you worried about your ear holes?
Like, can we get some ear hole PSAs from somebody?
Because, geez.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, Drew secretly had massive earrings. I love that Drew put on these enormous, enormous earrings and then put her hair all the way over them. So you don't even notice
the big earrings until like the end of the show. I'm like, why do you even have the big
earrings if you're going to hide them? I don't know. But the clanking was out of control.
And listen, we've been through clanking. We've been through Asa on Shaza Sunset. Like we've been through Shaza Sunset reunions.
There's a lot of gold moving around in those. But this was really, this is next level.
This was a lot. Yeah. So Kelly is like, yeah, you know, this is a good moment to tell her,
you know, you need to tell her how you really feel Shemia and Portia. Like this is not her
moment. You know where her moment was? When we had our final moment.
You know where her moment was?
When I called her and talked to her about it.
And Kelly's like, no, it's her moment.
Let her have her moment.
Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink.
Let her have her moment.
Clink, clink, clink.
And Portia's like, you know,
now it's just a beat up on Portia's section.
And she's like, girl, nobody's beating up on you, Portia.
Let her have her moment.
Now, Shemia, and Shemia's like, thank you.
When we sat one-on-one, I thought we had a very clean slate
and we were moving forward.
And then I noticed she was distancing herself from me.
I mean, even around Londie's funeral time,
I'm reaching out like, hey, can we link up, girl?
Can you believe that?
She was ignoring me during someone's funeral.
And I'm not trying to discredit that you were grieving. All I'm
trying to say is as I was continuing to try to reach out
to hang out and to hook up. And Portia's like, whatever. She's
like, see, look, even the way you just did that the way you
rolled your eyes. That's just that's dismissive. Just yeah,
because you're using this thing's against me. She's like,
but do you see what I'm saying?
Can you ever phrase a sentence without trying to make me look bad?
She's like, no, cause I'm trying to make you look bad.
Like let, let a girl have goals. But yeah, she's, of course,
it's like I was,
I'm grieving my cousin and you're using me not calling you back right after my
cousin died as an example of me being a bad friend. Like, can I grieve my cousin with you're using me not calling you back right after my cousin died as an example of me being a bad friend.
Like, can I grieve my cousin with you without you even making me look like a terrible person?
And she's like, how dare you not call me from the gravesite? I wanted to have lunch that day.
And so Shemia's like, well, I wouldn't have even known there was beef unless,
wait, I wouldn't have even known that there was any beef unless Cynthia
didn't tell me unless I think that means Cynthia told me, I told Portia like, what did Brit
had done and after I saw them hanging out and then posting I'm like, okay, so she made
her decision.
I basically told her that Brit, you know, said all this stuff and she's still hanging
out with Brit and Brit, she's like that had nothing to do with you. What are you talking about?
What you did was what you did.
Me hanging out with Britt has nothing to do with you.
It really got into the weeds at this point.
This is one of those points where I was like,
just sort of like letting the words wash over me.
I'm like, the takeaway is they're angry at each other
and they're just saying things
because they're talking about the friendship
and like, well, you became friends with Kelly,
not because of this, but because of that.
But you like Kelly and I, of course I like Kelly and none of that.
And so Kelly is like,
it's,
Portia is mad at certain things that Shamia said or did interviews or things that she said to the other girls.
Shamia is mad about all of these little things that don't even have any concrete.
She can't even say a concrete thing. Like you said this to this person.
It's just like, I feel like you didn't want me on the show.
I feel like you chose Britt over me in that moment
because you should have not liked her
after I told her stuff that she showed me the texts
or whatever all this stuff is.
So, I mean, I kind of understand one side of it
and I'm kind of glad that Portia is keeping up on her.
Like, what are you even coming at me for now?
Because everything she's bringing up to me
just seems silly to this point.
I can't get mad at anything.
And you know that I'd love to get angry.
I'm filled with rage all the time.
And I'm just not, I don't even feel it.
And that's sad.
You can't even fill me with rage.
You know what I'm mad at today?
Because I parked yesterday somewhere
and they left a little parking ticket under my windshield.
And I didn't want to get out of the car and take it off.
And so it's been flapping under my windshield wiper.
And so I literally woke up today like,
should I call somebody?
Cause I'm pissed.
What if it rained?
I was thinking, what if it rained?
And then I would have been stuck there
with a windshield wiper, with this crusty shit on it
And it would have ruined the thing and then next time I want to use it
It would have scratched my window and that would have cost me hundreds of goddamn dollars
Wait, was this the oh, I thought you were saying like you got a traffic ticket
It's just like the little tag that they put in. Yeah, actually when it rains I find
In my experience. Okay, everyone we're gonna get we're gonna get deep here
My experience is whenever they put those tags on,
I have often been lazy and I just let it sit there
under the windshield wiper.
And then I'm like, well, maybe I'll try to wipe it off
and you do the windshield wiper,
because you're gonna just fly off,
which is actually not bad,
because I think that's actually technically littering.
So pretend I never said that,
but also pretend I never said the following.
So, you know, it'll never release.
It's like, I'm staying here. You must hand pluck me off.
But I do find that once there's actually some like moisture from like rain or
like a spritz, then the tickets like, Whoa.
And then it like sticks to the windshield more and it releases itself from the
windshield wiper. And then it, it disappears into the ether.
I'm not saying I do a tiny little,
well that's what's going to happen because I'm not taking it out myself.
And then yesterday I was driving and then I was like,
okay, you know when you try and turn on the windshield wiper
and then grab it with your hand,
but it's too far down.
It's too far down on the windshield wiper.
And so I was driving and I was like, you know,
holding the steering wheel
and then I'm reaching out of the car.
Do it with your parts. And I was like, I'm going to die like this because that person left my thing here.
I'm going to call someone tomorrow and tell them I died.
I'm just going to be like, hi, this is a call from a ghost of a person that could still
be on this earth had it not been for you leaving a parking ticket thing at the very bottom
of my windshield.
I couldn't even get it when I was driving and now I'm dead.
Well, I have some real rageful things to say to Delta Airlines and I have some rageful
things to say to the Cosmopolitan Hotel in Vegas.
But you'll I will say that for the bonus episode because that's where you're going to hear
me angry.
You're gonna hear me angry this week on this bonus.
You'll also hear me like very ecstatic and happy, but I'll also be angry too at those two businesses
who cost me time and money in a bad way.
Bad, bad way.
I can't wait to hear it.
Commercials, here comes one right now.
Being an actual royal is never about finding
your happy ending, but the worst part is,
if they step out of line or fall in love with the wrong person,
it changes the course of history.
I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams.
And I'm Brooke Zephrin.
We've been telling the stories of the rich and famous
on the hit, wonder show, Even the Rich,
and talking about the latest celebrity news
on Rich and Daily.
We're going all over the world
on our new show, Even the Royals. We'll be diving head
first into the lives of the world's kings, queens, and all the wannabes in their orbit throughout
history. Think succession meets the crown meets real life. We're going to pull back the gilded
curtain and show how royal status might be bright and shiny, but it comes at the expense of, well,
everything else. Like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head.
Follow Even The Royals on the Wondery app
or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen to Even The Royals early and ad free
right now by joining Wondery+.
Anyway, my point is, like, I can get rageful over anything
and you shouldn't be, it can't even make me mad.
And that's a bad sign for a housewife.
So Portia's like, well, you know,
I think it's odd for you to go sit after you and Britt
had that conversation about me because Kelly's like,
well, that friendship's very different, you know?
And Kelly's like, well,
I think your friendship with Britt is very calculated.
And Britt's not your friend.
Britt can care less about what you have going on.
Okay, Kelly, but you were friends with her this whole season.
While you could use Britt as a weapon
against everybody else, she was fine with you.
But then when that weapon was turned on you,
now you have this big problem with her.
So you don't really have a whole lot of credence in this.
You know, like-
Hold on, hold on it.
Ronnie, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Before you start to get mad,
cause it seemed like you weren't mad all of a sudden.
Recap, and you're just about to get mad right now.
Let me stop you right now.
Cynthia, where could this you go?
You've been sitting in the same exact position
for four hours.
You haven't even moved.
This is amazing.
Are you a statue?
You've just been sitting there nodding your head
while you're squinting your eyes.
Like you just feel terrible about everything.
What do you have to say, Cynthia?
Any advice, Auntie Cynthia?
And Cynthia's like, well,
if someone who's been on the show for 900 years,
I just like to say, whenever I'm sad,
I sit on my countertops.
Or I walk around my countertops
or I lean on my countertops
because countertops can change a girl's life. All right. Thank you
Thank you to the love of Cynthia's life the countertops of the lake house. Thank you. Beautiful beautiful
Well, this year was the most difficult year ever and it really was and I'm literally at the bottom
Pedro goes depleted. Yeah
Laughed at that. Frader discuss to bleed it.
Yeah.
Not a single bleat left on my pants.
So at this space in time of my life, I just want to be exactly where I feel comfortable
and I do not feel comfortable within my friendship with Shemia.
And as I'm sure she doesn't feel comfortable with me either, I'm only human.
I'm just a girl standing in front of a guy who sells hot dogs, asking him to stop talking to Drew.
And I can only deal with so much and I don't have anything else to offer at this right now at this
moment. No questions, please. No more. No further questions. Thank you.
And Shemeah is like, okay, that's real. That's real. And Andy's like, okay, why do you take it,
Shemeah? You kept saying you wanted to have your say and now's your chance to have your say.
And she's like, well, that's the difference between us.
Because if even at times where I didn't have the bandwidth to deal with it because I had
my own shit happening, I would find the bandwidth to deal with it.
Except for all the times that I didn't deal with it for a year and just talk to all our
friends about Porsche.
But what's that? would deal with it for a year and just talk to all our friends about Porsche. But she was like, wait, you got free wifi?
What's that?
Drew's like, you got free wifi?
What?
You got bandwidth?
Like, uh, you know, I have the, that kind of love for Porsche so much so where
everybody calls me her lap dog and he's like, Oh, okay.
Okay.
Look at the sacrifices I made.
I endured being called her lap dog because I used bandwidth to talk to her.
So it hurts me to think I came to the show to sabotage her
because ultimately I just want peace for both of us, you know?
And it's like, you did that, Portia, yeah.
All right.
And Cynthia's like, yay.
Cynthia claps like they actually achieved something.
She's like, yay.
I'm like, nothing was, they hate each other Cynthia, relax.
Nothing has happened.
And he set these reunions up to be like,
if you don't make up, then you're fired.
You know, like he can't just have them always fighting.
So he gets them to fight and then he's like,
so do you see a path forward?
And every single time they have to say, yes,
no matter what, no matter what's happened,
I see a path forward.
He's like, okay, you can have another season.
Cause he's like, one of you is fired.
So it's like little kids getting in trouble, you know?
Cause he's like, Portia, did you hear that?
And she's like, yes.
He's like, okay, well done.
I guess we're moving on then.
Finally solved it.
Me, Andy Cohen.
I solved it.
Yeah, I think that Shemia,
I think the lesson is that if you feel a certain way,
I think for your own benefit,
don't talk to the other cast members quietly off camera.
Make a scene on camera so that way our show is better.
Okay.
I wish he'd used different terminology
because he goes, you need to figure out a way
to vocalize it.
No, she doesn't.
Don't use vocalize around her, okay?
I'm enough. I've had enough of the vocalizing. You need to figure out a way to vocalize it. No, she doesn't. Don't use vocalize around her, okay?
I've had enough of the vocalizing.
Yeah, please.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
No, no, no, no.
Well, because it's diverting in a million different ways,
but it still exists,
and your friendship is a portion of everybody else's.
It's just gonna, it's only gonna suit you to say
that you really pissed me off when you did that,
and I'm hurt, like, so you can move forward and that's the backbone of an honest religion.
Andy all of a sudden trying to be like Dr. Simone giving therapy on a beach somewhere.
I was like, okay, Andy relax.
We are sisters.
At the end of the day, we are sisters who come together on a beach.
I'd love when Andy gives these pep talks as if he is not like the figurehead of a franchise
that actively tries to tear people apart
for like public enjoyment.
That's what's so good about it every time.
He builds an entire empire on getting women
to fight with each other in ball gowns.
And then he's like, no, say you're sorry.
Like he just started it.
You wanna set an intention.
I mean the backbone of an honest friendship
is apologizing and being your authentic self.
By the way,
she slept with your husband. So she means like, I own that. Like I literally do. I'm
very wealthy and I accept that and I'm going to work on that. And I think it naturally
just like when I got a lot of stuff happening in my life, like the elevator in my house
broke down again. You guys all understand that. Oh, none of you guys have elevators.
Okay. Well, maybe just me, but people who are in my, in my, in my socioeconomic class would understand these things. It just, it's, I don't know
if I have it in me right now. Okay. So I just choose to move past it manually on the staircase
because you know, elevator broken. I'm literally moving on a stair case. It's very sad. I feel
like I'm juiced Adora in her ranch home. Anyway, I'm just going to sweep it under a rug. Unlike
juiced Adora, she cannot afford a maid. Um that's okay, it's coping, it's right,
because I just, I don't have to deal with it right now,
it's okay.
So now we see the guys backstage, why is Ralph here?
Why is Ralph here?
A question that people ask in any establishment.
Jamba Juice, why is Ralph here at Jamba Juice?
And Dennis is here in his,
is that a Louis Vuitton
barber robe that he's wearing to get his makeup in?
I don't know, it's some famous brand.
I'm too poor to know what it is, but I do know.
It's very expensive.
I was not looking carefully enough,
but as we all know, like, you know,
that's hot dog money right there.
That is hot dog vendor money.
That's hot dog Bulgari.
So then Dennis is like, yeah, you know,
when the girls beefing, you gotta stay out of it.
You know, we gotta let women handle their own business
because women are women and men are men, you know?
And he's like, I'm here to support baby mama Andrew
because that's family, you know? So we're gonna keep it positive. So then we go back and Andy's like, I'm here to support baby mama and Drew because that's family, you know,
so we're going to keep it positive.
So then we go back and Andy's like, here we are,
we're back, Drew, this season, we watched you battle
with a divorce that seems to have no end
to hidden ring cameras in sight
and an ex-husband that has banished to the basement.
By the way, I think we, we know the reason why Ralph is here,
because he got a free edge up.
He's like, what, there's free edge up in New York City?
I'm there.
So Andy's like, okay, well, will you be able to sing
your way out of this sad song?
Let's watch.
So it's now the Drew package.
We see everything, the basement, the lawsuit, the mom crying,
saying the kids are acting up, all the greatest hits. So, Andrew is like,
Drew is sending the kids to therapy because her mom said that they were acting up.
And she's like, you know, you really need to get the opinion of an outsider looking in because I
thought everything was fine. But my mom's gone for a few months. She comes back, the kids are acting
different, but also kids grow up and they do start smarting off to you.
So I think it's kind of natural.
But Andy's like, well, oh, go ahead.
Ralph tweeted that your mom needed to watch her mouth
because after your dad's death, she spent all his money
and Ralph had to bail her out.
What do you think about that?
Tacky, God, Ralph, Jesus, that guy's so tacky.
So Ralph, and Drew is like, well, that was a new low.
I mean, my father was a prominent pediatrician
and you're coming against his legacy.
I mean, my cousin Michael Jordan was furious, you know,
and my mom had an anxiety attack.
So she's like, yeah, this was fucked up.
And Andy's like, well, there was also a reason.
But to be fair, he wasn't,
she who wasn't coming after your dad's legacy,
he never said anything about your dad.
He said that your dad left her a lot of money
and she spent it all, but whatever.
I'm still on computer.
But also it's rude.
Honestly, I think it's real fresh, as my mom would say.
That's real fresh for Ralph to say
that her mom needed to shut her, watch her mouth. Yeah, of course. It is a bit fresh. Disgusting. It's a bit fresh for Ralph to say that her mom needed to shut her, watch her mouth.
Yeah, of course.
It's a bit fresh.
Disgusting.
It's a bit fresh, Ralph.
Beyond fresh.
It's fucking trash and disgusting.
And if for anything, you know, Drew, this whole like, well, sometimes I make up with him
and sometimes I don't.
I don't think you can be with a guy who talks about your mom like that.
Like you don't want to be with a guy who talks about talks to women that way.
And especially a mom, women and your elders?
No, sir.
I'm the only one allowed to disrespect my mother
in this relationship, sir.
So she's like, yeah, you know, I mean,
it's a whole new storm because all this started
to affect my mom.
And so then Andy brings up this viral clip.
Don't know, I'm sure we've all seen it
because it's viral, it's viral everybody.
Broke the internet.
There's a viral clip supposedly of them cooking together
and he shows a clip of it
and they're like just this happy perfect couple.
And she's like, well, that was just an effort
of us trying to co-parent
because everybody knows true co-parenting
is getting a lot of likes on TikTok.
So it's called making an effort, Andy.
Whenever they do that bullshit, like we're so happy. It just reminds me of like their last season when
they were doing that kind of like Captain and Tenille thing or whatever it was where he had
this little keyboard. He was like toting a keyboard around everywhere and he was just smiling like,
we're happier than we've ever been. He's like, I'm so happy. He looked like, what was that name of that Muppet?
Ralph?
Ralph?
Ralph, which is appropriate actually.
You know, like he's like, I got my keyboard.
And like, you just have that bullshit smile on his face.
Like I'm surprised he didn't take those sticks
and start trying to play the piano on them.
He's like, hey, I got a good chord on these sticks.
But the thing is like, no one even knows whether these two are faking the
happiness because everybody also thinks that they're faking the drama. So it's
like, are we faking happy being happy or faking being sad for the cameras? What
is it? So we see the caption, she got she got upset with him because they made
this happy video. And then he makes a caption that says, didn't wear the apron, but she got me daddy in the kitchen off camera. I love
this cooking thing. Happy No Drama Memorial weekend y'all. Be safe. Hashtag real life. Hashtag call
me daddy in the kitchen. And she's like, so he took that moment. I'm like, that could have been
positive, but you know, he used it to make it appear to be something that it wasn't.
It wasn't. I didn't call him daddy. I didn't.
And of course, Cynthia's like, you know, I honestly thought it was cute to see you guys
being together happy and not, you know, not thinking like, oh, you know, they should get
back together. But it's just like nice to see you guys having fun together. I was honestly
just happy to see you guys doing something on a kitchen island. It just touched my heart.
Thanks for weighing in on that one. I'm just happy to see you guys doing something on a kitchen island. It just touched my heart.
Thanks Cynthia for weighing in on that one. And Angela's like,
oh, and living in a house with a man who can cook.
Girl, get your food.
Let's all stop cheering on going back
to abusive stalker exes.
Like what the fuck is wrong with this cast sometimes?
My God, like, can we bring the bar up
a little bit higher for the men?
It's like, oh, Ralph, what a great guy. He had a cooking video with you.
Forgive him.
Forget about the ring camps, the affairs,
the disappearing to Florida, the ways crazy,
abusing, you know, like pulling you through all this
divorce shit right now.
Yeah, they all start joking about how like,
oh, he's got the sausage and everything.
And Portia's like, yeah, it's gonna be a long, hard divorce. You're gonna be driving and he's gonna come
up that staircase after midnight. You know, Cindy's like, or she may go downstairs. They're
like, ah, they're all like laughing. And we're like, you guys remember that Ralph was terrible,
right? He's a monster and they're divorcing. They're just like, just joking. Maybe they
all know what's fake though.
Um, a cream from cheese says,
"'Drew, the judge has given you and Ralph
the weirdest court orders from having Ralph live
in the basement to avoid telling the kids you're divorcing.
What the hell is that about?'
Drew's like, well, I should have hired Precious.
Okay, I can tell you that.
Precious is the best attorney in Atlanta.
That's what's happening.
And Portia's like like actually it's normal because by the way when you sue for divorce
everything's gonna stay so I lived upstairs with my ex for months, but
It's like which is crazy
Is this like a normal thing in Georgia that like if you divorce you are like stuck in a house together like what sort of sitcom?
sitcom
like premise judgment is this? They're like,
you guys are divorced, but you must live together. And your wacky neighbor is mandated to come
over at least once per week and take stuff out of your refrigerator.
As a judge who knows the law, you will stay together and your new neighbor is a man with
his shirt unbuttoned down to his belly button. His name is Larry. Okay. Good luck. Have a good time.
Your other nosy neighbor, her name, I don't know, we'll just say Mrs. Poole, will also
be coming around to offer some warm advice, but also kind of get in the way.
So then Portia was like, yeah, well, that's normal. I lived upstairs for my ex, you know,
but you recently said he had a woman down there and Kelly's like with you there
And Drew's like, oh, yeah, you know, you know, I mean when I'm there when I'm not there. I mean, she's a girl
Or she's like so wait, you've seen someone on the camera in the basement a woman and she goes okay
you can get the manifesto and
He's like yes, and which I think was actually by the way way, I think it's the manifest, not the manifesto.
I know, I was like, did she bomb something?
My God.
She's like, well, if you really wanna know who it is,
you can always look up some of Karl Marx's best manifestos
and learn about communism.
He's like, Ralph is having sex with a terrorist,
a terrorist in the basement.
You can get the manifestoo guys, don't worry.
So what she means is that you can see.
Drew's new girlfriend is really against the pet insurance agent company.
What am I trying to say?
Industry.
She's really against pet insurance abuse.
She's got a whole manifesto.
Well the way I found out her name is I looked up
to see what the Unabomber had written about her.
And I know it was a few hundred pages,
but I finally saw the name Shirley.
And I was like, aha, that's her.
Shirley, I would love if it was a girl named Shirley.
Shirley and Ralph.
It probably is.
So Drew is saying that, yeah, it's a gated community,
it's a Porsche, it's like,
so you saw the picture in the driver's license.
And she's like, I saw the name.
And I looked her up on Instagram.
And when I went to lunch at Anaya's school,
she was there.
Everyone was like, oh, and I was like,
is someone gonna make a fatal attraction reference?
Because as we all know from my childhood trauma,
the Glenn Close goes to the school to pick up the child,
was shot in my elementary school,
and I was not chosen to be an extra,
and I needed this moment right now,
and they didn't even mention it, so I was sad.
Can we ask questions?
Like, why was the girlfriend at school at lunch?
That's weird.
But then someone said, was it the teacher?
Because Angela goes, it's the teacher? And so was it the teacher? Cause Angela goes, it's the teacher.
And so was it the teacher?
Is it one of the teachers?
I don't know.
We didn't find out, but she's
I like that they're both stalking each other.
They're like, they're equally stalking each other.
Drew is going down to the gate house to be like,
who came into this gate?
Who came in at like seven, six 57 tonight.
But then the, the, the, the lady is like going
to the school to stalk that way.
And they're both like circling each other.
Like, I'm going to stalk you even more.
I'm going to stalk your child.
I'm going to stalk your nails.
I'm going to find out everything there is to know about Drew by seeing what she
puts in the kids lunch.
It's like Lunchable.
What a lazy, lazy witch.
I can steal you away easily, child.
Welcome to the world of tuna sandwiches.
Wait a minute.
Aren't you the girl for the manifesto?
The question is, is this you the girl for the manifesto?
The question is, is this woman the teacher at the school? If it was the teacher at the school,
because Angela asked, is it like, it's the teacher.
And like, if it was the teacher,
it's hilarious that Drew says,
I went down to the school and there she was.
It's like, yeah, because she was a teacher.
She was a teacher.
Make it sound like she's a stalker, stalking the child, but like she's actually at work.
It's like Drew was actually the stalker at that point.
And she's like, and she mean mugged me.
And then she approached me and was like, what's your name ma'am?
And I said, I don't have to give you my name.
And she says, you do because we have to log everyone who comes in here.
And I said, oh, so you have a manifesto at this school also.
She said, actually, I'm just, we don't like to have strangers around the children. Please tell me your name, ma'am. I said, you don't
get to know my name because I am an actress. She said, seriously, we're going to call the
police ma'am. I said, you don't call the police on me because I played a police officer once
many years ago in a pilot that never aired. So ha, and then I left.
I was just trying to bring back her math book that she forgot in class.
I don't want to hear it.
So Kelly's like, well, actually,
I was really actually hoping that you and I could have a bit,
we could have hit it off a little bit more.
I was, is this Angela?
Who are they talking about now?
Oh no, Drew.
Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry.
From man from sin Family Values says,
why don't any of the women in the group
show any compassion for Drew during her divorce?
Did you not just see the cooking video?
It's hard to have compassion about someone's divorce.
And also I do have compassion about her divorce.
But I mean, when,
but I can see how it would be hard for people
when there's so many mixed signals, you know?
I need better branding on this divorce. I can see how it would be hard for people when there's so many mixed signals, you know I need better branding on this divorce
I can't have like Ralph is the worst stalker in the world and then have like oh my god now
We're making waffles together. Isn't this fun America? No, it's not
I need you to get rid of Ralph and cut the cord, please. Yes. So
Kelly Kelly is basically like I was like really actually hoping that you and I
could have like hit it off a little bit more. I mean, I think towards the end, it was just
kind of like more of like a connection thing. You know, that's what I would have liked.
And Angela's like making faces at Drew, like, Oh God, this bitch, whatever. And because
it don't give me that phase because she was doing the face back. And basically, Kelly's like, she's like, Angela, stay out of it. This is a divorce
woman conversation.
And Angela's like, Yeah, I don't want any parts. I don't want any parts. So Drew's
like, Well, I mean, it sounds good. And I appreciate you saying that today. But I feel
like, you know, you didn't really give us a chance because you were just like throwing
these things out and being loud and spicy. And I'm like, girl, you don't even know me.
And then throwing out that liar narrative.
And Kelly's like, I didn't even hear anything.
And she goes, well, you said that I'm a liar,
but you felt like you were,
it felt like you were trying for a moment.
And I do think that Kelly obviously watched,
previous seasons and came in here ready to go for people
that she was ready to go for.
Because everybody that Kelly came for in the beginning,
it was like, what?
You've been here five seconds.
What do you like, did that man steal someone's husband?
And then all the Drew stuff.
It's like, you just got here, ma'am.
So Kelly's like, I wasn't trying for a moment.
I never need to try for a moment,
which is why I have my own videographer,
an entire glam team on Retainer and a man
named Paris with extremely high-waisted short shorts.
When you came to my Balmain event and you were there, Balmain, I should say, Balmain,
Balmain event, and we were at the bag, you said you purchased something and did not purchase
anything.
And she was like, I did.
She's like, you did not.
She goes, I have purchased multiple things. I mean,
not at the event and not at Balmain and maybe not even this year,
but I have purchased things in the past in my life. So please don't lie on me.
So Kelly's like, you did not buy anything. So Drew says, no,
I talked to the shopper and he found the size.
So we were texting and he found the right size and Kelly's like, okay, you did,
but like you didn't like you're supposed to buy it at the event. And Shamiah says, you know, the, your sp the things that you buy at the
event go to the proceeds go to osteogenesis imperfecta. And Kelly's like, you know, yeah,
you didn't buy anything there. And she was like, well, I mean, I purchased it at some
point in time at a different place. And I showed you a receipt from something I had purchased.
And you know, we had a real conversation and we didn't go into the part about the foundation.
And I could have made sure that it did or I could have made a donation to your foundation if you
had just told me, even though I was at a charity event for your foundation and knew that I hadn't
actually supported your foundation at that moment in time, but I did buy myself something.
Well, it sounds like she's saying they didn't have my size,
so I contacted the shopper and he said he'll get my size
and they got my size and so I bought it.
But then couldn't she say, okay, well,
if they didn't credit that to your foundation,
it should have been because I technically
ordered it that night.
But then again, it's like, we're trying to read too much.
I'm trying to read too much into something
that Drew is saying, which is probably
at best a half truth.
I think that normally I would be with you on this one.
Normally I'd be like, yeah, she probably thought,
oh, since I contacted the buyer,
it sort of counted under the umbrella of the whole event.
But it's Drew and Drew is like, she's kind of like a crook.
And she like, she's so slippery with her words.
She's like, no, I bought it.
I'm like, yeah, but did you donate
or did you make sure those funds were being donated? I don't's like, no, I bought it. I'm like, yeah, but did you donate
or did you make sure those funds were being donated?
I don't think so.
Yeah, I like Shemia.
And you know, the proceeds were supposed to go
to osteogenesis imperfecta.
So, they didn't.
Yeah.
It's just like that.
I just like hearing that used in a housewives fight.
The proceeds were supposed to go
to osteogenesis imperfecta.
So, all right, all right, more importantly,
Drew, are you or are you not Michael Jordan's cousin?
And Drew's like, well, in my head, absolutely.
I mean, it was a joke.
She keeps saying it's like a joke.
I wish they had rolled back the clip
because when she said it, she said it absolutely seriously
and she was full online and did not think she's gonna get caught out on it.
That was she was not joking whatsoever.
She's like guys, my name is Drew Jordan. It was a joke.
And they're like, yeah, that wasn't a joke. So, um, Dick from Copper says, Shamil,
why was it okay for you to twist Drew's words regarding Pilar?
But Angela
was held to a higher standard when she relayed her conversation with Shemeel back to Portia.
I was like, mentally, I was like, what were these things again?
This is too much for me. Okay. So yeah,
Portia basically is like, yeah, it was cringy because like when courses, when I watched it, it didn't piss me off.
But the way that Shamiah brought the information to me, which of course is in this case, it
was Drew saying that like, you know, this money could help polar go to college.
And Shamiah brought it to Porsche saying like, Drew says that she's paying for Pilar's tuition,
which is not what drew said at all.
This one I'm firmly not on Shemeah's side about this.
And you know, Shemeah's still standing
in her truth about this.
She's still like being like, no, that's what happened.
You meant it to be shady and you said it shady.
It's like, listen, I'm gonna come down on Drew
really whenever I can, because she's hilarious
with how much she lies and is self-serving.
But in this case, Drew did not say it in a shady way.
She said it in a nice way.
Well, she was being shady,
but it wasn't anything that I would have been pissed about.
I mean, it was like typical housewife shade.
They're like, well, you know,
she doesn't like you working with her.
And she's like, well, she may not like it,
but all the sales from this album
could pay for Pilar's college,
because it's going to be so successful.
You know, of course she's being,
it's like a little shade, but I don't think it's like, because it's going to be so successful. You know, of course she's being, it's like a little shade,
but I don't think it's like, Porsche's a destitute
and she'll never be able to pay for Pilar's college
without my album, you know.
Yeah, Shamia brought, like,
unless there was stuff we didn't see,
but Shamia definitely brought that information to Porsche
in a much more incendiary way.
Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap.
For part two, go look for the recap that says, Part Two.
See you over there, suckas.
Watch what crap-ins would like to thank its premium sponsors.
Ain't no thing like Alison King.
It's always a party on Alison Block.
Our way is the Amber Way.
It's the Foster and the Furious, it's Amanda Foster.
She can run my country, it's Angie McGovern.
It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.
Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.
She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
Etchles!
We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickle-less.
Hava Nagila Webber.
You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.
I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.
Jamie.
She has no less name-y.
She's our kind of mess.
It's Jennifer Messer.
Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch.
She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.
Kristen the Piston Anderson.
Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B
K-Sara-Sara, whatever will be will Lauren Sills be
Brighin' the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett
She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D
Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino
Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry
We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox
Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.
Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
She sure is swell, it's Raquel.
Yes we canna, it's Savannah.
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman.
Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy! The Bay Area Betches, Betches!
And our super premium sponsors.
She's VVIP, it's Amanda V.
Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy M.D.
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva!
Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal.
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper!
Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Let's go into the Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubs.
It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa.
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.
Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran.
We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.
She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.
Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door.
My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo.
We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.
In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock.
We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron.
She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthi.
Always killing it, it's Lola Alcolani.
The incredible, edible Matthews Sisters.
She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.
She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke.
We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telliff-Sun.
Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony.
Please don't stop, it's Solian Pop.
Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo.
She ain't no shrinkin' Violet Coutar.
We love you guys.