Watch What Crappens - #2946 RHOA S16E20 Part 1: Oakley-Dokily

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap! The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion draws to a close as Porsha and Shamea continue to bicker and the men arrive on the stage. To watch this recap on v...ideo, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Travis fell in love with the perfect woman. Beautiful, understanding, available 24-7. There was just one catch. She wasn't human. Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now on Wondry+. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love to talk about.
Starting point is 00:00:52 I'm Ben Manolicher and joining me today is the Angie K. Sunglassed, Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Happy Monday. Well, hello, Happy Monday everybody. It's a big Monday for us in these parts and these crappings parts because we are about to recap, uh, the final installment of the Atlanta reunion and then later today at 4 PM Pacific, 7 PM Eastern,
Starting point is 00:01:21 we are going back onto Amazon live and, uh, we've decided to theme today's Amazon live self care, self care. So Ryan is going to talk about skincare stuff. I'm going to recommend some healthy cookbooks and we're going to have a really fun time. So join us. We, we are like two little kids on there. We have so much fun. So join us on Amazon live at four o'clock. And then after that, the live Ness continues because we have crappy live at four o'clock. And then after that,
Starting point is 00:01:50 the live nest continues because we have a crappy hour at five 30 and you can catch that on our YouTube channel and it's simulcast also onto our Instagram. And we have a special guest on tonight's crappy hour. We have Misha from, uh, um, the big flop. So, did I say that right? Yeah. Okay. I'm like, you know, when you say a word and you're like, did I say that correctly?
Starting point is 00:02:13 Did I say the syllables correctly? Yes, cause it's like every other word for me. But anyway, we're going to be a crappy hour. We have Misha on, he's great. We've done his show a few times, and we are excited to have him on our show to talk the latest Bravo gossip and news and whatever else is on our minds.
Starting point is 00:02:33 So come join us really all afternoon and evening. And right now. And then we're gonna, after this, we're gonna record our bonus episode, which is gonna be about our trip to Vegas this weekend, where I went to see Beyonce and we both met up and saw the Backstreet Boys and had VIP backstage access. So join us for that.
Starting point is 00:02:53 That should be a fun one. Yeah, it was great. So we'll tell you all the details. Wow. Well, I feel like we were a VVIP. I felt like it was Chanel Ion level. It felt that way. That's how I felt.
Starting point is 00:03:05 And yeah, we can't wait to tell you all the fun details of going to the sphere and everything. So that's coming up. But for right now, it's time to put a button on the season of Atlanta. And we pick up with Portia and Shamia, and they are still angry at each other. And they're mad.
Starting point is 00:03:23 And I think where we left off was talking about the mothers and you know, some assorted backstory between the mothers. Yes, we started getting into the daycare fight of Real Housewives of Atlanta moms. So Andy's like, well, Shamia, I did see the Porsche did a birthday post for you. So that was that was nice. I mean, in housewives world, that's basically as good as anything else you could ever get. And Shamia is like, Yeah, that was really sweet. Oh, by the way, did you see Shamia's Instagram Shamia? You know, Shamia has tested my nerves. I think
Starting point is 00:04:02 a lot of the audience's nerves where she's like nice, but she hasn't really delivered, I think the way that we've all wanted to. But I have to say, she did an Insta post yesterday that really delivered to me, delivered to my heart. It was Shamia, it was like a professionally done video, you know, of course, because she's rich as hell. And it's in her gorgeous home and she's sitting on a couch and the music is like piano, tinkling sad piano music.
Starting point is 00:04:26 It's like tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. And she sits down and she moves her hair and she's like, guys, I, I, my family and friends have never steered me wrong. And so I'd like to tinkle, tinkle, tinkle dramatic music. She's like, I'd like to sincerely apologize. Starting with Portia, and then she names all the ladies. She just names everybody to Phaedra, even Phaedra,
Starting point is 00:04:54 who just got here. To Kelly, to Britt, to Kenya, to Angela, to Kim Zolciak, to Nini Leakes, to Andy Cohen, to Darren Karp, Andy Cohen's famous assistant, to anybody I could possibly apologize to, I would just like to sincerely say I'm sorry if I did anything to offend you. Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. I was like, oh wow, thanks. Like a five minute apology video that says nothing.
Starting point is 00:05:27 It's like the biggest sorry if I have ever seen. And I cracked up that whole damn time. So good for you, Shamia. You know, funniest shit you did all season. Nice work. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you, Shamia. Yeah. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:43 So yeah, she's, they have this whole nanny, like the, not nanny, a daycare fight and, um, and, and Porsche is accusing Shami of like launching a smear campaign against her. And this is where Porsche's like, why are you fighting with me? And she was like, why are you fighting with me? She's like, and you think you don't think you've been lying to what have I been lying about? You posted about my mom saying she did something egregious to your mom, which, as we all know, the most egregious thing you can do is buy someone's daycare out of foreclosure. I mean, it's really just, I don't even like to say it out loud.
Starting point is 00:06:19 I don't like the words to come out of my lips because it's so ominous. Yeah. And she's like, why are you even bringing up my mom? She's like, you know, she did something egregious. So what did she do? And Shemeah is like, well, listen, if anybody asked me about your mom, I say that's not my business. But now we're gonna find out the story, which is what we thought last week. Portia tells us that the moms were best friends. They were both in the childcare industry and they both, you know, they would give tips back and forth, you know, like we can't technically beat the kids because they're not our kids,
Starting point is 00:06:54 but we can use fly swatters or suggest they lick their finger and stick it in a light socket when they misbehave, stuff like that, you know, just innocent stuff like that. But, you know, then innocent stuff like that. But, you know, then Porsche's mom's location was going under foreclosure, and Shamia's mom went behind Porsche's mom's back, and she bought it as soon as it went on foreclosure, to which I say, pay your rent, pay your rent.
Starting point is 00:07:20 What is she supposed to do? Go pay your rent for you, pay your rent. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I wanna know the backstory. Why'd it go into foreclosure? Why were the, why were the, why was that daycare not as well attended or was it well attended but it was poorly run? Like let's get into it. Let's get into the nitty gritty of what went down with, I don't know, true sunshine daycare. I don't know if it's called that. I'm just going to call it that.
Starting point is 00:07:43 You know, when I was, when I was a little kid, my family owned a daycare. Did you know this? Of course they did. No, I had no, was it the bowling alley? No, it was called Community of Faith and it was a Christian daycare and my family owned it. I was raised. I went to that school and there was a lot of drama in the daycare industry. So I get it guys. Like I get it. I'm a hardened, listen, at like three years old, I became a hardened daycare industry vet. So I totally get it.
Starting point is 00:08:14 And let me tell you who I haven't spoken to since I was four, four or five, the mixers who ended up taking over that daycare. Now was there drama? I don't know. Did we just grow apart after I was five? I don't know. But I can tell you this,
Starting point is 00:08:29 knowing the mixers, it probably was egregious. So if I could ever find Robbie or David Mixer again, I would fight with them over their mother and father being egregious towards my parents. I can't even be of faith. Egregious and Kathie Lee, it's just really, it's awful. Wait a second, were the mixers related to the anchor woman
Starting point is 00:08:51 who was mean to your mom? No, that was totally separate. But I think there was some drama because the original daycare, there was another daycare that started and that was just when I was born, so I don't remember it. But my parents should not be shocked I was gay, because guess what it was called?
Starting point is 00:09:07 Fairyland. And then that turned, that somehow morphed into this new business called Community of Faith. So actually now that we're talking about it, I need to interview my parents and get the drama, because daycare drama has suddenly been again. It's in, I have a book on my hands. It's the new hot topic, daycare, daycare drama is suddenly in again. It's in, I have a book on my hands. It's the new hot topic, daycare, daycare dramas.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Like, and it's actually nice, because sometimes when there is daycare drama, it's like the worst, scariest kind of drama. It's like the disturbing kind that you get like really upset about. It's like the, whatever, that James Wood movie about the daycare. But then, but like petty daycare drama, it's really, it's a refreshing
Starting point is 00:09:46 twists on an old standard. So I applaud it, you know? Yeah. So, uh, Portia is like, yeah. And you know, you know how my mom found out about it was because her friend bought her business because we drove past it and she was putting up the sun. Why do I feel like I don't, I don't not believe that she means mom was up on that ladder hoisting up the sign. Why do I feel like I don't, I do not believe that Shamiah's mom was up on that ladder hoisting up the sign as Ms. Diane came driving by. Unless on the other hand, I completely believe it. If Shamiah's mom is, we need to meet Shamiah's mom more so we can know how petty she is. Cause is she the type of mom
Starting point is 00:10:22 and just be like, Oh, here she comes. Like start to hoist the sign up or is, is Portia just being. I hope she's super petty. I hope they pass that daycare and she was putting up an upside down picture of Ms. Diane with a mustache on her. Yeah. Like Ms. Diane is gone now. She's gone.
Starting point is 00:10:42 So they have a little fight about this, but we don't get too far into it, which is really upsetting because that would have given me more chances to go talk about fairy land and community of faith. But we didn't. Well, there's some disagreement here because Shamiah says that the moms weren't talking
Starting point is 00:11:01 for years prior. And so it wasn't like Shamiah's mom bought the business and Diane was like, enough with this lady. There already was a rift. And so this it's almost like no, her pettiness was justified because it was, you know, it came as a result of many years of of pettiness between the women. So this was just another another step that they took. But, uh, Porsche is making it sound like, no,
Starting point is 00:11:30 she was pretending to be a good friend, but then she went and, you know, vultured this business. Well, don't you see the similarities? Cause it's exactly what these people are doing right now. It's exactly what their daughters are doing all these years later, they're having a fight about one thing, but then Porsche is like, no, no, I didn't go to your wedding, you know, because we were beefing before that.
Starting point is 00:11:48 That was a big revelation this year. Like it wasn't just because of my leg, my leg circulation. It's also because we were fighting. And so, you know, they're, they're doing, you know, we follow the same patterns as our parents, which is why I'm still terrible at bowling or holding on to daycare centers. Yeah, yeah, that's really, really difficult. I'm still rewarded by mixers all these years later. It's why I still love Tina Turner.
Starting point is 00:12:15 I just follow my mom's footsteps. So, um, so Portia is denying it. Portia is saying that they didn't have a long standing beef before then. And she means saying it was, it did happen that way. And she said that she's like, you know, they were not talking about some other stuff and I don't want to speak on it. I don't want to speak on it. And you know, it's gonna be some stupid thing. Like someone like, like Diane, you know, borrowed Shamia's mom's, you know, dodge dart and like got a ding in it. And that caused this whole generational trauma. Not the dodge dart.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Georgia, Georgia comes in from next gen New York city. So Andy's like, well, there are a few things happening here. My knee is asleep. I didn't even know knees could sleep. And you know, you were, there were accusations of chattering behind each other's back and Porsche is like, were accusations of chattering behind each other's back. And Portia's like, no, no, not each other's. And Shemeah's like, yes, each other's for sure
Starting point is 00:13:10 because she loved to sit there and chatter with Britt. Which, you know, as I think Portia points out right now, I agree with, this isn't a fair comparison because she didn't sit around chattering with her about it. Britt brought her, you know, a bone. So she, what is she supposed to do? She was like, she's just coming to me to tell me what you said.
Starting point is 00:13:29 I didn't sit there and chatter with her about it. And she didn't even give into Britt and talk shit about you. She said, whatever, I'm fine with Shemia. I'll work that out with Shemia. Right, and Cynthia verifies this. She's like, yeah, it was Britt who came up and showed the text messages. And Cynthia was like, and in that moment, Portia, I was like who came up and showed the text messages.
Starting point is 00:13:45 And Cynthia's like, and in that moment, Portia, I was like, let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Thank you, Cynthia. So Portia, Portia's like, yeah, we had a beautiful relationship prior to the show, before she tried to come for my job. And Shamia's like, we did. We did.
Starting point is 00:14:01 And she's like, once we start filming, she took it to the left, to the left. All the friendship in the box to the left. And she goes, oh yeah, I did. It was all me. It was all me. I mean, from what we saw, it was you. No, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
Starting point is 00:14:17 I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think,
Starting point is 00:14:24 I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like,
Starting point is 00:14:35 I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like,
Starting point is 00:14:44 I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like in the bank party was shady, but all I've seen is Shemia talking about Portia not being a good friend the whole season, to everybody, to people that weren't Portia's friends, to the point where it kept coming back to Portia over and over again. So as far as that goes, all I really see is from, I only see that from Shemia's side. I don't remember Portia ever doing anything to her
Starting point is 00:15:01 except for that, that sounds like Drew's song or whatever. Yeah, I think the thing is I think that like a lot of the stuff is just, I think there's probably just, obviously there's pent up stuff from over the years. Like the fact that we are going back into the issue about Shemia's wedding and now Portia admits that it was, actually I didn't go because I was angry at you. Like, you know, I think Shemeah's just been
Starting point is 00:15:25 in the sidekick role for a long time, and now she stepped out from being a sidekick, and she's kind of like vomiting all her issues all over the place, which is her own fault, but I also don't think that Portia, I'm not sure Portia's comfortable with Shemeah not being a sidekick. You think everyone's uncomfortable with Portia
Starting point is 00:15:42 not being a sidekick? No, I think Portia's not comfortable, sorry. I think Portia is not comfortable with Shemeah no not being a sidekick? No, I think Porsche is not comfortable. Sorry. I think Porsche is not comfortable with Shamiah no longer in the sidekick role. I think it's, I think she says she wants Shamiah to be on the show, but I don't think that she, I think the reality of it is that I don't know if she really loves it. Like, you know, I still remember she showed up like really late to Shamiah's like opening
Starting point is 00:16:02 season party and then shows up right when Shami is like having this big in the spotlight moment. So Porsche kind of like undermines that there was like the there was the moment in the bank with the singing and I don't know. I just feel like showing up. I think there's blood on both their hands here. You know, I just think there's something I think that Porsche is like, I think she's really slick and I think she's a diva and she has a track record of being a diva and wanting things her way. And you know, I think Shemeah did not handle it well at all.
Starting point is 00:16:34 And she got really clocked for it at this reunion for really just not being emotionally honest about like how she truly feels about a situation, which is why she's in this, why she's in this st' mess in the first place. But I think that Portia's not innocent. No, I don't think she's innocent. I just think that if you're friends with Portia,
Starting point is 00:16:53 you're not gonna be shocked that Portia shows up late, because I'm not friends with Portia, but I've watched this show, and I know that Portia's late for everything. Like literally, this is the first time she's even showed up to half the things on time. Remember the last season she was on, she was not showing up at all. She would show up like six hours after an event, like every time they'd be like,
Starting point is 00:17:13 Portia, are you even going to come film the show? You know? Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know. You know, look, I don't think Portia is completely innocent, but I think as far as what we've seen on the show, it's been mostly Shemia started. And then Shemia acts like, what? I didn't do any of that. is completely innocent, but I think as far as what we've seen on the show, it's been mostly Shemeah started. And then Shemeah acts like, what? I didn't do any of that. And she's just not honest about it.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Like when, when Portia said last week, like you had two weddings, I went to the local wedding and she's like, no, we didn't have a local wedding. And everyone's like, yes, you did have a local wedding. And then we find out that she did have a local wedding. It was like the, the dowry ceremony or something. I forget what it's called. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be culturally insensitive. I literally, when it comes to weddings, I block them out
Starting point is 00:17:49 because it usually means I have to buy shit for people that I barely know. But she did go to that. Portia was like a bridesmaid in her local ceremony. And then they had another one in Kenya that she didn't go to. But you know, it's just the way that Shemia kind of skirts around things that I don't
Starting point is 00:18:05 know that I would call her a liar because I like Shamiah at the end of the day, but she's not 100% truthful with the way she relays stuff. Yeah, that's why she's getting, she's sort of, they are kind of giving her some slaps on the wrist for not being honest about how she feels. But like last episode, they're like, Shamiah, you're not over it. She's like, I'm over it. Like you're not, you have to be honest. You're not over it. You know, whatever it was they were talking about last week.
Starting point is 00:18:30 So she does need to communicate better about these things. But I also think, you know, well, she also needs to communicate smarter. I think it's okay to vent about a friend who is like, if a friend is frustrating you and you need to sort of vent a little bit, you can vent to your friends, but don't vent to your co-stars because they're going to bring it right to the other person and, and and you need to sort of vent a little bit, you can vent to your friends, but don't vent to your co-stars because they're gonna bring it right to the other person and center you in some sort of drama.
Starting point is 00:18:49 And that's really what happened to her here. So- Isn't it just a life lesson? Be careful who you talk shit to. Be careful who you talk shit to. I mean, come on guys. Can't just be talking shit to everybody. If you do talk shit, just when it,
Starting point is 00:19:04 if you get confronted with it, just be like, yep, I was talking shit. Moving on. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. It's your man, Nick Cannon, and I'm here to bring you my new podcast,
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Starting point is 00:20:57 From Wondry, this is Flesh and Code, a true story of love, loss, and the temptations of technology. Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. So Andy is like, well, Shamila, is there anything that happened during the season
Starting point is 00:21:23 that you can apologize for or take ownership for right now? She's, yes, I apologize. And if you just give it a few months, I will be releasing a very evocative video on my social media with a soundtrack to flesh this out. But I do own talking about my friendship problems with Porsche to these ladies, these fuckers over here. And they're everyone on the sofa is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She's like, I just wish I had a third party here. You mean like a therapist?
Starting point is 00:21:54 Because that sounds like we'll usually be talking to. I'd like to sing my new song, daycare dedicated to Porsche. Daycare, daycare. You care about daycare, but do you care about me in the day? Ah! Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:22:14 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! So, um. So. Drew's like, I never ran back with anything. I never ran back.
Starting point is 00:22:22 And she's like, yeah, you know, I wish I had somebody on my side because you all said she feels the friendship was lopsided, but you know, those are things that you guys were feeling. And Angela's like, that's not what I said. And she's like, well, but then when it was taken to Portia, it was said like how that was how I felt, even though it was you guys saying
Starting point is 00:22:42 the friendship was lopsided, but then it sounded like I was saying the friendship was lopsided, but then it sounded like I was saying the friendship was lopsided, even though I'm completely saying right now that the friendship is lopsided. I never said that to you guys. Which is just like, that's what I'm talking about. She talks herself in these circles,
Starting point is 00:22:55 like you've already told us 10 times in this reunion, you feel the relationship was lopsided. So why are you arguing that you never said you thought the relationship was lopsided? She's like, I feel the relationship is lopsided, but I never told you guys that I thought it was lopsided. You guys just figured that out and told her, but I never said that to you,
Starting point is 00:23:14 even though that's how I feel truly. Yeah, I never said the word lopsided, but I just described the friendship as lopsided, which made you guys describe it that way to her. How dare you? Okay, and this is another reason, Ben, that Shemia is kind of on my nerves because of all the Instagrams that have been posted. Okay. So here's one from Portia. A round of applause for my bestie, Shemia. Clapping, clapping emojis. Welcome to Real Housewives of Atlanta as an official
Starting point is 00:23:39 housewife. Peach, finally, let's get this show on the road and light these screens up. Love you, congratulations and happy birthday. Love you, long time. Queen Wongi has entered the chat. Peach holder, over 20 years of friendship. Hashtags, two girls dancing hashtags. Pia, and then this is another one. Shamia Morton lying again in her latest post.
Starting point is 00:24:00 She claims flowers were for her birthday when the card I sent on the flowers clearly say congratulations. Going out sad sis, do loo loo, and you better not edit it either. Then we see a Shamiah post that says, again, I had one wedding that took place in Nairobi, Kenya. What you attended was my dowry ceremony in my mom's backyard. Second, you sent flowers on my birthday week just before we started filming. I'd had my peach for over a month. So I said we never celebrated. You can keep your fake receipts with your fake
Starting point is 00:24:28 ass friendships. Well, I mean, I don't know. This is what's always so tricky is that the Porsche thing is like, well, that's pretty, that's pretty clear that Porsche was celebrating Shamiah, but then Shamiah's like, yeah, back that up. It like, you waited, like, we never celebrated, and then you post something on social media that makes it look like you're being a supportive friend. There's also a picture of the flowers with the card. But like, this is like an age old housewife thing,
Starting point is 00:25:00 which is like, oh, you do something that's performative for the masses to make it look like you're being a supportive friend, but actually privately, you're not being supportive at all, but you're just letting people think that that's like, I think what Shami is saying here and we've seen this happen before on housewives, you know, like, like you never called me, you waited until this reunion, you like, you like, you made it a public thing. So it's really, it's hard to gauge on this one for me. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:25:25 I just, for me, like I think I'm, thank you. I, I understand Ben, it's tough. It's tough being a recapper sometimes, but I think that like my bias, no, no, no. I think it was funny. It's funny. Like, like as recappers were like consoling each other, like it's hard sometimes, but I guess. No, no, no. I think it was funny. It's funny like, as recappers, we're like consoling each other.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Like it's hard sometimes. But I think that like I bring to this season, you know, many seasons of Portia, and especially like her final season that you mentioned where she was late to things and she like was not necessarily, she really was like not dialed in or she was very self producing
Starting point is 00:26:03 and she would leave a trip early because she didn't want to do it anymore in a way where she was like acting like she was bigger than the show. And I just have to imagine like that, that energy just doesn't go away overnight necessarily. Well, but although it's been a few years to be fair. So I just, for me, I guess I bring that into this season is remembering that Portia who like as much as I love Portia, I know there bring that into this season is remembering that Portia who, like as much as I love Portia, I know there's that side of her.
Starting point is 00:26:26 And I can imagine that that side is a very difficult side to deal with in a friendship. Yeah, yeah. I guess to me, it just looks like Shemia, you know, has a bunch of built up stuff, but she got on this show and she's like, I need something so I'm coming for my best friend. And I'm gonna just go and she doesn't have enough
Starting point is 00:26:44 to really come after her. She should have really held off until season two or three, because a natural progression on the Housewives show is to get annoyed. So we all know that alliances, whenever someone's like, oh my God, this is my bestie, that they're gonna be fighting within a year, within the second season of that friendship.
Starting point is 00:27:03 And so she really needed to just water this and let the resentments grow because I think right now they're just not too much. I mean, the fact that somebody sent you a whole bouquet of white roses was best, you know, one of your bridesmaids in your wedding that you're pretending wasn't really a wedding and then did all this stuff, sent you the,
Starting point is 00:27:21 made you a post, which may not sound like a big deal, but these women are fame whores, all of them, and everyone on Bravo, not just the women, we're just talking about women today. But these people on Bravo are all fame whores. And so yes, someone with millions of followers making a post saying welcome at Shemeah Morton to this thing. That is a big deal. You know, it's like she's saying, go follow this chick, you know, so that's, that's a
Starting point is 00:27:41 gift to a fame hungry person. So I mean, I feel like after doing all of that and then coming back and being like, you didn't do anything, you don't want me on this show and you didn't support me is completely crazy when you were the one coming for her all season and trying to make her look like a bad friend. So that's kind of where I'm standing with the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I don't really hate anybody. I'm just proud of Portia. I'm just giving Portia so much credit for just showing up for half of her scenes this year. I mean, that goes a long way. I'm like, look at her, she's actually here. She had a better dress at the reunion, I'll say that. I think also that I forgot what I was gonna say. I forgot, it was some really good point.
Starting point is 00:28:19 So just pretend I made like a great point. And you guys are like, that was a great point. Well, you know what? That was so good. I'll tell you what you just went out of I made like a great point. And you guys are like, that was a great point. Well, you know what? I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what you just went out of me. Silence with that. Damn. Enjoy it. I don't know what it was.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Oh, I was going to say actually really, if if Shamiah did come onto the show purely to litigate like old beefs with Portia and to like, you know, air out all her grievances, she should have like, I agree that she should have waited a little bit. So that way we cared more because I have to say ultimately, I think that's the thing about her. She's not the type of person that I would be. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her.
Starting point is 00:28:47 I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her.
Starting point is 00:28:55 I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her.
Starting point is 00:29:03 I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think that's the thing about her. I think I would have like maybe waited so that way it could be a more central thing. And in fact, if anything, this season should have been about them being besties. Like we knew that they're besties, but we needed to really see them as main character energy besties that we could, we could get into. So that way next season, the trailer could be like black and white, like bum, bum, bum, like, Oh my God, Shamiah and Porsche aren't talking anymore. Whereas this season sort of like Shemeah was there. She's on the show and she sort of, she has some resentments towards Portia and okay.
Starting point is 00:29:33 You need to build that up before you can crash it down. Yeah, yeah. You know, if it's not a demo, like if you're watching a building get demolished, that's amazing. Like when they demolish those old casinos in Vegas, you know, they're like, oh, we're finally getting rid of the desert in or whatever. And it's like this huge thing and it's all over the news.
Starting point is 00:29:52 But without the building, it's just some bomb going off, you know, who cares? Like we need destruction. We need destruction. Build it up. Yeah, we need to be as dramatic as possible. Don't take off the first three stories and then demolish the whole thing. Yeah. So I'm glad, I think we figured that one out. I felt really good about that.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Okay, recap that. We fixed that. It's been a long season. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, okay, so then Drew's like, well, when we went to lunch, there was never a question asked you, how Drew talks sometimes, like she lawyers things in arguments. She's like, well, when we went to lunch,
Starting point is 00:30:27 there was never a question asked you by me or Angela about the nature of your relationship with Portia. It almost felt like you needed to get it out. And Sheme is like, well, and she goes, we were just giving you a safe space. And she goes, well, apparently that wasn't a safe space. And she goes, well, I didn't take it back to Portia. And Angela's like, I did, I did it.
Starting point is 00:30:47 And she means like, well, you took it back wrong. Well, the point is that you had to pinky swear because you wanted to divulge this and it was something very heavy on you. Which by the way, if that is true, you guys are shitty, you guys broke the pinky swear. You guys broke the pinky, like You guys broke broke the pinky. Like this was something that was weighing heavily on you and it meant a lot to
Starting point is 00:31:09 you and was important and you wanted our secrecy, which is why we then told Porsche. There's no pinky swearing on housewives. No, no definitely is not. And the only reason you share information like that with other cast members on housewives is so that they can bring it forward. You know, there's no like, Oh, is not. And the only reason you share information like that with other cast members on Housewives is so that they can bring it forward. You know, there's no like,
Starting point is 00:31:28 oh, I just really need to get off this. I need to get something really personal off my chest. So you know who I'm going to trust? People on a TV show. No, you tell them when you want to carry the wot, you know, to carry the bags for you. Yeah. All right, all right, all right.
Starting point is 00:31:42 It almost sounds to me like you've had a harder time with what's happened after the show, Portia, would you like to elaborate? Yeah. So there's a friendship group that we have, a private friendship group. They're a private group, friendship group. They're friendship for money. They'll do what they want you to do. Sorry, I-
Starting point is 00:32:00 I knew you were going to do that. I knew you were going to do that. I know. And you could hear me grinding. You could hear me grinding to a halt trying to figure out going to do that. I knew you were going to do that. And you could hear me grinding to a halt, trying to figure out how to do it. And then I stuttered it out. Fresh ship, fresh ship, oh my me.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Oh, my me, me, me, me. Ditch box or dollars, American Express will do nicely. Thank you. So she says, basically, she's like that there are ladies, there are some ladies in the friendship group and Shamia told them that Portia didn't want Shamia to be a peach holder and that Portia didn't congratulate her. So it was like, these are the third parties. It's the private friendship group, which I'm assuming are like the women who are at the
Starting point is 00:32:43 other end of the table during the Nashville party. But like private friends, private friends. And she's like, so the private friends are saying the same things that the TV friends are, which means you are going to literally everybody you see and talking shit. Why are you lying? And she's like, Andy, have I always wanted Shemia to be on this show? And he's like, yeah, that is true. That is true. I mean, remember the first time you begged me, we said boring.
Starting point is 00:33:09 He said, no. The second time we said awful. He said, no. The third time we said terrible, please no letter saying. And finally, all these years later, it worked. So yeah, Shemeah's just like, thanks. This feels great. Yeah, remember what I said. Shemeah should definitely be on the shows. Yeah, remember when I said Shamir should definitely be on the shows?
Starting point is 00:33:26 Yeah, and you said Shamir should be on the shows so I could just shit on her, right? No, I never said that part. Quiet, Andy. So, Portia's like, so moving on, now I'm watching live interviews and someone asks you, like, where's your friendship stand? And you say, well, I know that I have a peach, it's different, why? And Shemeah's like, it is, it is different.
Starting point is 00:33:48 She's like, but I never talked about you, Shemeah. I'm watching interviews and you're saying you want, I don't want you in the show, you sang a song about it. She basically is saying like, I never did this stuff and you're talking all this shit about me right now. Yeah, and she's like, oh really? This is Shemeah, she says, girl, are you serious? Like, you all had that conversation together
Starting point is 00:34:08 saying that I was screwing Candy and Todd, and I didn't do that to myself. And Portia's like, nobody was sabotaging your marriage. So now they're kind of talking over each other. And Shemia is saying, I said, you could have, I didn't say you ruined my engagement. I said, you could have ruined my engagement had he listened to you two.
Starting point is 00:34:24 And Portia was like, well, listen, you could have ruined my engagement had he listened to you too. And she, Portia was like, well, they're saying you would have played a part in sabotaging your own engagement at that time. And she goes, okay, okay. And Portia goes, because I kissed Candy in the club and you kissed Candy in the club. So now we're going back to the Candy in the club kissing. I mean, this is on that one season and Shemeah is like, well, what we're not going to do. And Kelly's just like, did she just say that they both kiss candy in the club? And we never go back to that. But yeah. So Porsche is like, well, you know, you brought up this stuff from 10 years ago and I just, I do as many press days as you do.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Okay. And possibly more because I've been on the show a little bit more, right? Everyone's like shade. She was, it wasn't a dig. It wasn't a dig. I'm just like, you know, I've done more press and like, it was a dig. It's like, what I'm trying to say is I've been asked the exact same questions that you were asked and I've never disparaged our relationship whatsoever. And I thought we had a beautiful friendship. Yeah. And, um, Shumie is like, yeah, well, I thought we did too,
Starting point is 00:35:24 but then I found out you didn't come to the wedding in Kenya because of the beefing. Also, because it was in Kenya, that's far. That is far. That is far. Honestly, that's a very far. That's more than a destination wedding. That's like a, that's like, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:40 if you like go up to colonize Mars, you're not coming back. Like you're going far. It's too far. So, so Kelly, if you like go up to colonize Mars, you're not coming back. Like you're going far. It's too far. So, so Kelly, so Andy asks basically, and he points out that Kelly and Shamia have become very close. So he asked Kelly what her thoughts are. And Kelly's answer is like,
Starting point is 00:35:56 clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang. Seriously, I kept thinking my ring, my door, my ring thing was going off. Cause sometimes it literally made like the chong chong sound that the ring makes. It was like, she's like, well, Andy, that's a really good question.
Starting point is 00:36:13 And like me and Shamia built a beautiful bond and like a beautiful friendship with each other. And I always tell her, I really hope and pray that her and Portia can just figure this out. I just want her to tell her how you really feel. like this is a good moment to tell her because some of us Who are going through long divorces don't have these moments. Okay, I'm getting divorced It was like lunchtime in a Luby's every time she talks the senior Clanking on their plates over and over again trying to find the bottom of the fish which with Manny's on top
Starting point is 00:36:44 You know on their plates over and over again, trying to find the bottom of the fish with mannies on top, you know? They need to attach those little felt pads that you put at the bottom of your chair to protect floor. They just need to attach them in between the different bangles. I mean, they don't clank as much. Listen, we've been through clanking.
Starting point is 00:36:55 I mean, girl, earrings, everybody's earrings. Like, are any of you worried about your ear holes? Like, can we get some ear hole PSAs from somebody? Because, geez. Yeah, I mean, yeah, Drew secretly had massive earrings. I love that Drew put on these enormous, enormous earrings and then put her hair all the way over them. So you don't even notice the big earrings until like the end of the show. I'm like, why do you even have the big earrings if you're going to hide them? I don't know. But the clanking was out of control.
Starting point is 00:37:23 And listen, we've been through clanking. We've been through Asa on Shaza Sunset. Like we've been through Shaza Sunset reunions. There's a lot of gold moving around in those. But this was really, this is next level. This was a lot. Yeah. So Kelly is like, yeah, you know, this is a good moment to tell her, you know, you need to tell her how you really feel Shemia and Portia. Like this is not her moment. You know where her moment was? When we had our final moment. You know where her moment was? When I called her and talked to her about it. And Kelly's like, no, it's her moment.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Let her have her moment. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Let her have her moment. Clink, clink, clink. And Portia's like, you know, now it's just a beat up on Portia's section. And she's like, girl, nobody's beating up on you, Portia. Let her have her moment.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Now, Shemia, and Shemia's like, thank you. When we sat one-on-one, I thought we had a very clean slate and we were moving forward. And then I noticed she was distancing herself from me. I mean, even around Londie's funeral time, I'm reaching out like, hey, can we link up, girl? Can you believe that? She was ignoring me during someone's funeral.
Starting point is 00:38:25 And I'm not trying to discredit that you were grieving. All I'm trying to say is as I was continuing to try to reach out to hang out and to hook up. And Portia's like, whatever. She's like, see, look, even the way you just did that the way you rolled your eyes. That's just that's dismissive. Just yeah, because you're using this thing's against me. She's like, but do you see what I'm saying? Can you ever phrase a sentence without trying to make me look bad?
Starting point is 00:38:50 She's like, no, cause I'm trying to make you look bad. Like let, let a girl have goals. But yeah, she's, of course, it's like I was, I'm grieving my cousin and you're using me not calling you back right after my cousin died as an example of me being a bad friend. Like, can I grieve my cousin with you're using me not calling you back right after my cousin died as an example of me being a bad friend. Like, can I grieve my cousin with you without you even making me look like a terrible person? And she's like, how dare you not call me from the gravesite? I wanted to have lunch that day. And so Shemia's like, well, I wouldn't have even known there was beef unless,
Starting point is 00:39:21 wait, I wouldn't have even known that there was any beef unless Cynthia didn't tell me unless I think that means Cynthia told me, I told Portia like, what did Brit had done and after I saw them hanging out and then posting I'm like, okay, so she made her decision. I basically told her that Brit, you know, said all this stuff and she's still hanging out with Brit and Brit, she's like that had nothing to do with you. What are you talking about? What you did was what you did. Me hanging out with Britt has nothing to do with you.
Starting point is 00:39:49 It really got into the weeds at this point. This is one of those points where I was like, just sort of like letting the words wash over me. I'm like, the takeaway is they're angry at each other and they're just saying things because they're talking about the friendship and like, well, you became friends with Kelly, not because of this, but because of that.
Starting point is 00:40:05 But you like Kelly and I, of course I like Kelly and none of that. And so Kelly is like, it's, Portia is mad at certain things that Shamia said or did interviews or things that she said to the other girls. Shamia is mad about all of these little things that don't even have any concrete. She can't even say a concrete thing. Like you said this to this person. It's just like, I feel like you didn't want me on the show. I feel like you chose Britt over me in that moment
Starting point is 00:40:31 because you should have not liked her after I told her stuff that she showed me the texts or whatever all this stuff is. So, I mean, I kind of understand one side of it and I'm kind of glad that Portia is keeping up on her. Like, what are you even coming at me for now? Because everything she's bringing up to me just seems silly to this point.
Starting point is 00:40:49 I can't get mad at anything. And you know that I'd love to get angry. I'm filled with rage all the time. And I'm just not, I don't even feel it. And that's sad. You can't even fill me with rage. You know what I'm mad at today? Because I parked yesterday somewhere
Starting point is 00:41:03 and they left a little parking ticket under my windshield. And I didn't want to get out of the car and take it off. And so it's been flapping under my windshield wiper. And so I literally woke up today like, should I call somebody? Cause I'm pissed. What if it rained? I was thinking, what if it rained?
Starting point is 00:41:21 And then I would have been stuck there with a windshield wiper, with this crusty shit on it And it would have ruined the thing and then next time I want to use it It would have scratched my window and that would have cost me hundreds of goddamn dollars Wait, was this the oh, I thought you were saying like you got a traffic ticket It's just like the little tag that they put in. Yeah, actually when it rains I find In my experience. Okay, everyone we're gonna get we're gonna get deep here My experience is whenever they put those tags on,
Starting point is 00:41:45 I have often been lazy and I just let it sit there under the windshield wiper. And then I'm like, well, maybe I'll try to wipe it off and you do the windshield wiper, because you're gonna just fly off, which is actually not bad, because I think that's actually technically littering. So pretend I never said that,
Starting point is 00:41:58 but also pretend I never said the following. So, you know, it'll never release. It's like, I'm staying here. You must hand pluck me off. But I do find that once there's actually some like moisture from like rain or like a spritz, then the tickets like, Whoa. And then it like sticks to the windshield more and it releases itself from the windshield wiper. And then it, it disappears into the ether. I'm not saying I do a tiny little,
Starting point is 00:42:22 well that's what's going to happen because I'm not taking it out myself. And then yesterday I was driving and then I was like, okay, you know when you try and turn on the windshield wiper and then grab it with your hand, but it's too far down. It's too far down on the windshield wiper. And so I was driving and I was like, you know, holding the steering wheel
Starting point is 00:42:40 and then I'm reaching out of the car. Do it with your parts. And I was like, I'm going to die like this because that person left my thing here. I'm going to call someone tomorrow and tell them I died. I'm just going to be like, hi, this is a call from a ghost of a person that could still be on this earth had it not been for you leaving a parking ticket thing at the very bottom of my windshield. I couldn't even get it when I was driving and now I'm dead. Well, I have some real rageful things to say to Delta Airlines and I have some rageful
Starting point is 00:43:08 things to say to the Cosmopolitan Hotel in Vegas. But you'll I will say that for the bonus episode because that's where you're going to hear me angry. You're gonna hear me angry this week on this bonus. You'll also hear me like very ecstatic and happy, but I'll also be angry too at those two businesses who cost me time and money in a bad way. Bad, bad way. I can't wait to hear it.
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Starting point is 00:44:21 everything else. Like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow Even The Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Even The Royals early and ad free right now by joining Wondery+. Anyway, my point is, like, I can get rageful over anything and you shouldn't be, it can't even make me mad. And that's a bad sign for a housewife.
Starting point is 00:44:46 So Portia's like, well, you know, I think it's odd for you to go sit after you and Britt had that conversation about me because Kelly's like, well, that friendship's very different, you know? And Kelly's like, well, I think your friendship with Britt is very calculated. And Britt's not your friend. Britt can care less about what you have going on.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Okay, Kelly, but you were friends with her this whole season. While you could use Britt as a weapon against everybody else, she was fine with you. But then when that weapon was turned on you, now you have this big problem with her. So you don't really have a whole lot of credence in this. You know, like- Hold on, hold on it.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Ronnie, hold on, hold on, hold on. Before you start to get mad, cause it seemed like you weren't mad all of a sudden. Recap, and you're just about to get mad right now. Let me stop you right now. Cynthia, where could this you go? You've been sitting in the same exact position for four hours.
Starting point is 00:45:36 You haven't even moved. This is amazing. Are you a statue? You've just been sitting there nodding your head while you're squinting your eyes. Like you just feel terrible about everything. What do you have to say, Cynthia? Any advice, Auntie Cynthia?
Starting point is 00:45:47 And Cynthia's like, well, if someone who's been on the show for 900 years, I just like to say, whenever I'm sad, I sit on my countertops. Or I walk around my countertops or I lean on my countertops because countertops can change a girl's life. All right. Thank you Thank you to the love of Cynthia's life the countertops of the lake house. Thank you. Beautiful beautiful
Starting point is 00:46:11 Well, this year was the most difficult year ever and it really was and I'm literally at the bottom Pedro goes depleted. Yeah Laughed at that. Frader discuss to bleed it. Yeah. Not a single bleat left on my pants. So at this space in time of my life, I just want to be exactly where I feel comfortable and I do not feel comfortable within my friendship with Shemia. And as I'm sure she doesn't feel comfortable with me either, I'm only human.
Starting point is 00:46:44 I'm just a girl standing in front of a guy who sells hot dogs, asking him to stop talking to Drew. And I can only deal with so much and I don't have anything else to offer at this right now at this moment. No questions, please. No more. No further questions. Thank you. And Shemeah is like, okay, that's real. That's real. And Andy's like, okay, why do you take it, Shemeah? You kept saying you wanted to have your say and now's your chance to have your say. And she's like, well, that's the difference between us. Because if even at times where I didn't have the bandwidth to deal with it because I had my own shit happening, I would find the bandwidth to deal with it.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Except for all the times that I didn't deal with it for a year and just talk to all our friends about Porsche. But what's that? would deal with it for a year and just talk to all our friends about Porsche. But she was like, wait, you got free wifi? What's that? Drew's like, you got free wifi? What? You got bandwidth? Like, uh, you know, I have the, that kind of love for Porsche so much so where
Starting point is 00:47:36 everybody calls me her lap dog and he's like, Oh, okay. Okay. Look at the sacrifices I made. I endured being called her lap dog because I used bandwidth to talk to her. So it hurts me to think I came to the show to sabotage her because ultimately I just want peace for both of us, you know? And it's like, you did that, Portia, yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:47:59 And Cynthia's like, yay. Cynthia claps like they actually achieved something. She's like, yay. I'm like, nothing was, they hate each other Cynthia, relax. Nothing has happened. And he set these reunions up to be like, if you don't make up, then you're fired. You know, like he can't just have them always fighting.
Starting point is 00:48:17 So he gets them to fight and then he's like, so do you see a path forward? And every single time they have to say, yes, no matter what, no matter what's happened, I see a path forward. He's like, okay, you can have another season. Cause he's like, one of you is fired. So it's like little kids getting in trouble, you know?
Starting point is 00:48:35 Cause he's like, Portia, did you hear that? And she's like, yes. He's like, okay, well done. I guess we're moving on then. Finally solved it. Me, Andy Cohen. I solved it. Yeah, I think that Shemia,
Starting point is 00:48:45 I think the lesson is that if you feel a certain way, I think for your own benefit, don't talk to the other cast members quietly off camera. Make a scene on camera so that way our show is better. Okay. I wish he'd used different terminology because he goes, you need to figure out a way to vocalize it.
Starting point is 00:49:01 No, she doesn't. Don't use vocalize around her, okay? I'm enough. I've had enough of the vocalizing. You need to figure out a way to vocalize it. No, she doesn't. Don't use vocalize around her, okay? I've had enough of the vocalizing. Yeah, please. Yes. Mm-hmm. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Well, because it's diverting in a million different ways, but it still exists, and your friendship is a portion of everybody else's. It's just gonna, it's only gonna suit you to say that you really pissed me off when you did that, and I'm hurt, like, so you can move forward and that's the backbone of an honest religion. Andy all of a sudden trying to be like Dr. Simone giving therapy on a beach somewhere. I was like, okay, Andy relax.
Starting point is 00:49:34 We are sisters. At the end of the day, we are sisters who come together on a beach. I'd love when Andy gives these pep talks as if he is not like the figurehead of a franchise that actively tries to tear people apart for like public enjoyment. That's what's so good about it every time. He builds an entire empire on getting women to fight with each other in ball gowns.
Starting point is 00:49:55 And then he's like, no, say you're sorry. Like he just started it. You wanna set an intention. I mean the backbone of an honest friendship is apologizing and being your authentic self. By the way, she slept with your husband. So she means like, I own that. Like I literally do. I'm very wealthy and I accept that and I'm going to work on that. And I think it naturally
Starting point is 00:50:14 just like when I got a lot of stuff happening in my life, like the elevator in my house broke down again. You guys all understand that. Oh, none of you guys have elevators. Okay. Well, maybe just me, but people who are in my, in my, in my socioeconomic class would understand these things. It just, it's, I don't know if I have it in me right now. Okay. So I just choose to move past it manually on the staircase because you know, elevator broken. I'm literally moving on a stair case. It's very sad. I feel like I'm juiced Adora in her ranch home. Anyway, I'm just going to sweep it under a rug. Unlike juiced Adora, she cannot afford a maid. Um that's okay, it's coping, it's right, because I just, I don't have to deal with it right now,
Starting point is 00:50:48 it's okay. So now we see the guys backstage, why is Ralph here? Why is Ralph here? A question that people ask in any establishment. Jamba Juice, why is Ralph here at Jamba Juice? And Dennis is here in his, is that a Louis Vuitton barber robe that he's wearing to get his makeup in?
Starting point is 00:51:10 I don't know, it's some famous brand. I'm too poor to know what it is, but I do know. It's very expensive. I was not looking carefully enough, but as we all know, like, you know, that's hot dog money right there. That is hot dog vendor money. That's hot dog Bulgari.
Starting point is 00:51:29 So then Dennis is like, yeah, you know, when the girls beefing, you gotta stay out of it. You know, we gotta let women handle their own business because women are women and men are men, you know? And he's like, I'm here to support baby mama Andrew because that's family, you know? So we're gonna keep it positive. So then we go back and Andy's like, I'm here to support baby mama and Drew because that's family, you know, so we're going to keep it positive. So then we go back and Andy's like, here we are,
Starting point is 00:51:49 we're back, Drew, this season, we watched you battle with a divorce that seems to have no end to hidden ring cameras in sight and an ex-husband that has banished to the basement. By the way, I think we, we know the reason why Ralph is here, because he got a free edge up. He's like, what, there's free edge up in New York City? I'm there.
Starting point is 00:52:11 So Andy's like, okay, well, will you be able to sing your way out of this sad song? Let's watch. So it's now the Drew package. We see everything, the basement, the lawsuit, the mom crying, saying the kids are acting up, all the greatest hits. So, Andrew is like, Drew is sending the kids to therapy because her mom said that they were acting up. And she's like, you know, you really need to get the opinion of an outsider looking in because I
Starting point is 00:52:39 thought everything was fine. But my mom's gone for a few months. She comes back, the kids are acting different, but also kids grow up and they do start smarting off to you. So I think it's kind of natural. But Andy's like, well, oh, go ahead. Ralph tweeted that your mom needed to watch her mouth because after your dad's death, she spent all his money and Ralph had to bail her out. What do you think about that?
Starting point is 00:53:04 Tacky, God, Ralph, Jesus, that guy's so tacky. So Ralph, and Drew is like, well, that was a new low. I mean, my father was a prominent pediatrician and you're coming against his legacy. I mean, my cousin Michael Jordan was furious, you know, and my mom had an anxiety attack. So she's like, yeah, this was fucked up. And Andy's like, well, there was also a reason.
Starting point is 00:53:25 But to be fair, he wasn't, she who wasn't coming after your dad's legacy, he never said anything about your dad. He said that your dad left her a lot of money and she spent it all, but whatever. I'm still on computer. But also it's rude. Honestly, I think it's real fresh, as my mom would say.
Starting point is 00:53:39 That's real fresh for Ralph to say that her mom needed to shut her, watch her mouth. Yeah, of course. It is a bit fresh. Disgusting. It's a bit fresh for Ralph to say that her mom needed to shut her, watch her mouth. Yeah, of course. It's a bit fresh. Disgusting. It's a bit fresh, Ralph. Beyond fresh. It's fucking trash and disgusting.
Starting point is 00:53:51 And if for anything, you know, Drew, this whole like, well, sometimes I make up with him and sometimes I don't. I don't think you can be with a guy who talks about your mom like that. Like you don't want to be with a guy who talks about talks to women that way. And especially a mom, women and your elders? No, sir. I'm the only one allowed to disrespect my mother in this relationship, sir.
Starting point is 00:54:12 So she's like, yeah, you know, I mean, it's a whole new storm because all this started to affect my mom. And so then Andy brings up this viral clip. Don't know, I'm sure we've all seen it because it's viral, it's viral everybody. Broke the internet. There's a viral clip supposedly of them cooking together
Starting point is 00:54:29 and he shows a clip of it and they're like just this happy perfect couple. And she's like, well, that was just an effort of us trying to co-parent because everybody knows true co-parenting is getting a lot of likes on TikTok. So it's called making an effort, Andy. Whenever they do that bullshit, like we're so happy. It just reminds me of like their last season when
Starting point is 00:54:53 they were doing that kind of like Captain and Tenille thing or whatever it was where he had this little keyboard. He was like toting a keyboard around everywhere and he was just smiling like, we're happier than we've ever been. He's like, I'm so happy. He looked like, what was that name of that Muppet? Ralph? Ralph? Ralph, which is appropriate actually. You know, like he's like, I got my keyboard. And like, you just have that bullshit smile on his face.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Like I'm surprised he didn't take those sticks and start trying to play the piano on them. He's like, hey, I got a good chord on these sticks. But the thing is like, no one even knows whether these two are faking the happiness because everybody also thinks that they're faking the drama. So it's like, are we faking happy being happy or faking being sad for the cameras? What is it? So we see the caption, she got she got upset with him because they made this happy video. And then he makes a caption that says, didn't wear the apron, but she got me daddy in the kitchen off camera. I love
Starting point is 00:55:49 this cooking thing. Happy No Drama Memorial weekend y'all. Be safe. Hashtag real life. Hashtag call me daddy in the kitchen. And she's like, so he took that moment. I'm like, that could have been positive, but you know, he used it to make it appear to be something that it wasn't. It wasn't. I didn't call him daddy. I didn't. And of course, Cynthia's like, you know, I honestly thought it was cute to see you guys being together happy and not, you know, not thinking like, oh, you know, they should get back together. But it's just like nice to see you guys having fun together. I was honestly just happy to see you guys doing something on a kitchen island. It just touched my heart.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Thanks for weighing in on that one. I'm just happy to see you guys doing something on a kitchen island. It just touched my heart. Thanks Cynthia for weighing in on that one. And Angela's like, oh, and living in a house with a man who can cook. Girl, get your food. Let's all stop cheering on going back to abusive stalker exes. Like what the fuck is wrong with this cast sometimes? My God, like, can we bring the bar up
Starting point is 00:56:41 a little bit higher for the men? It's like, oh, Ralph, what a great guy. He had a cooking video with you. Forgive him. Forget about the ring camps, the affairs, the disappearing to Florida, the ways crazy, abusing, you know, like pulling you through all this divorce shit right now. Yeah, they all start joking about how like,
Starting point is 00:57:00 oh, he's got the sausage and everything. And Portia's like, yeah, it's gonna be a long, hard divorce. You're gonna be driving and he's gonna come up that staircase after midnight. You know, Cindy's like, or she may go downstairs. They're like, ah, they're all like laughing. And we're like, you guys remember that Ralph was terrible, right? He's a monster and they're divorcing. They're just like, just joking. Maybe they all know what's fake though. Um, a cream from cheese says, "'Drew, the judge has given you and Ralph
Starting point is 00:57:27 the weirdest court orders from having Ralph live in the basement to avoid telling the kids you're divorcing. What the hell is that about?' Drew's like, well, I should have hired Precious. Okay, I can tell you that. Precious is the best attorney in Atlanta. That's what's happening. And Portia's like like actually it's normal because by the way when you sue for divorce
Starting point is 00:57:49 everything's gonna stay so I lived upstairs with my ex for months, but It's like which is crazy Is this like a normal thing in Georgia that like if you divorce you are like stuck in a house together like what sort of sitcom? sitcom like premise judgment is this? They're like, you guys are divorced, but you must live together. And your wacky neighbor is mandated to come over at least once per week and take stuff out of your refrigerator. As a judge who knows the law, you will stay together and your new neighbor is a man with
Starting point is 00:58:20 his shirt unbuttoned down to his belly button. His name is Larry. Okay. Good luck. Have a good time. Your other nosy neighbor, her name, I don't know, we'll just say Mrs. Poole, will also be coming around to offer some warm advice, but also kind of get in the way. So then Portia was like, yeah, well, that's normal. I lived upstairs for my ex, you know, but you recently said he had a woman down there and Kelly's like with you there And Drew's like, oh, yeah, you know, you know, I mean when I'm there when I'm not there. I mean, she's a girl Or she's like so wait, you've seen someone on the camera in the basement a woman and she goes okay you can get the manifesto and
Starting point is 00:59:00 He's like yes, and which I think was actually by the way way, I think it's the manifest, not the manifesto. I know, I was like, did she bomb something? My God. She's like, well, if you really wanna know who it is, you can always look up some of Karl Marx's best manifestos and learn about communism. He's like, Ralph is having sex with a terrorist, a terrorist in the basement.
Starting point is 00:59:23 You can get the manifestoo guys, don't worry. So what she means is that you can see. Drew's new girlfriend is really against the pet insurance agent company. What am I trying to say? Industry. She's really against pet insurance abuse. She's got a whole manifesto. Well the way I found out her name is I looked up
Starting point is 00:59:45 to see what the Unabomber had written about her. And I know it was a few hundred pages, but I finally saw the name Shirley. And I was like, aha, that's her. Shirley, I would love if it was a girl named Shirley. Shirley and Ralph. It probably is. So Drew is saying that, yeah, it's a gated community,
Starting point is 01:00:05 it's a Porsche, it's like, so you saw the picture in the driver's license. And she's like, I saw the name. And I looked her up on Instagram. And when I went to lunch at Anaya's school, she was there. Everyone was like, oh, and I was like, is someone gonna make a fatal attraction reference?
Starting point is 01:00:20 Because as we all know from my childhood trauma, the Glenn Close goes to the school to pick up the child, was shot in my elementary school, and I was not chosen to be an extra, and I needed this moment right now, and they didn't even mention it, so I was sad. Can we ask questions? Like, why was the girlfriend at school at lunch?
Starting point is 01:00:38 That's weird. But then someone said, was it the teacher? Because Angela goes, it's the teacher? And so was it the teacher? Cause Angela goes, it's the teacher. And so was it the teacher? Is it one of the teachers? I don't know. We didn't find out, but she's I like that they're both stalking each other.
Starting point is 01:00:53 They're like, they're equally stalking each other. Drew is going down to the gate house to be like, who came into this gate? Who came in at like seven, six 57 tonight. But then the, the, the, the lady is like going to the school to stalk that way. And they're both like circling each other. Like, I'm going to stalk you even more.
Starting point is 01:01:06 I'm going to stalk your child. I'm going to stalk your nails. I'm going to find out everything there is to know about Drew by seeing what she puts in the kids lunch. It's like Lunchable. What a lazy, lazy witch. I can steal you away easily, child. Welcome to the world of tuna sandwiches.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Wait a minute. Aren't you the girl for the manifesto? The question is, is this you the girl for the manifesto? The question is, is this woman the teacher at the school? If it was the teacher at the school, because Angela asked, is it like, it's the teacher. And like, if it was the teacher, it's hilarious that Drew says, I went down to the school and there she was.
Starting point is 01:01:40 It's like, yeah, because she was a teacher. She was a teacher. Make it sound like she's a stalker, stalking the child, but like she's actually at work. It's like Drew was actually the stalker at that point. And she's like, and she mean mugged me. And then she approached me and was like, what's your name ma'am? And I said, I don't have to give you my name. And she says, you do because we have to log everyone who comes in here.
Starting point is 01:01:59 And I said, oh, so you have a manifesto at this school also. She said, actually, I'm just, we don't like to have strangers around the children. Please tell me your name, ma'am. I said, you don't get to know my name because I am an actress. She said, seriously, we're going to call the police ma'am. I said, you don't call the police on me because I played a police officer once many years ago in a pilot that never aired. So ha, and then I left. I was just trying to bring back her math book that she forgot in class. I don't want to hear it. So Kelly's like, well, actually,
Starting point is 01:02:31 I was really actually hoping that you and I could have a bit, we could have hit it off a little bit more. I was, is this Angela? Who are they talking about now? Oh no, Drew. Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. From man from sin Family Values says, why don't any of the women in the group
Starting point is 01:02:48 show any compassion for Drew during her divorce? Did you not just see the cooking video? It's hard to have compassion about someone's divorce. And also I do have compassion about her divorce. But I mean, when, but I can see how it would be hard for people when there's so many mixed signals, you know? I need better branding on this divorce. I can see how it would be hard for people when there's so many mixed signals, you know I need better branding on this divorce
Starting point is 01:03:06 I can't have like Ralph is the worst stalker in the world and then have like oh my god now We're making waffles together. Isn't this fun America? No, it's not I need you to get rid of Ralph and cut the cord, please. Yes. So Kelly Kelly is basically like I was like really actually hoping that you and I could have like hit it off a little bit more. I mean, I think towards the end, it was just kind of like more of like a connection thing. You know, that's what I would have liked. And Angela's like making faces at Drew, like, Oh God, this bitch, whatever. And because it don't give me that phase because she was doing the face back. And basically, Kelly's like, she's like, Angela, stay out of it. This is a divorce
Starting point is 01:03:45 woman conversation. And Angela's like, Yeah, I don't want any parts. I don't want any parts. So Drew's like, Well, I mean, it sounds good. And I appreciate you saying that today. But I feel like, you know, you didn't really give us a chance because you were just like throwing these things out and being loud and spicy. And I'm like, girl, you don't even know me. And then throwing out that liar narrative. And Kelly's like, I didn't even hear anything. And she goes, well, you said that I'm a liar,
Starting point is 01:04:13 but you felt like you were, it felt like you were trying for a moment. And I do think that Kelly obviously watched, previous seasons and came in here ready to go for people that she was ready to go for. Because everybody that Kelly came for in the beginning, it was like, what? You've been here five seconds.
Starting point is 01:04:29 What do you like, did that man steal someone's husband? And then all the Drew stuff. It's like, you just got here, ma'am. So Kelly's like, I wasn't trying for a moment. I never need to try for a moment, which is why I have my own videographer, an entire glam team on Retainer and a man named Paris with extremely high-waisted short shorts.
Starting point is 01:04:49 When you came to my Balmain event and you were there, Balmain, I should say, Balmain, Balmain event, and we were at the bag, you said you purchased something and did not purchase anything. And she was like, I did. She's like, you did not. She goes, I have purchased multiple things. I mean, not at the event and not at Balmain and maybe not even this year, but I have purchased things in the past in my life. So please don't lie on me.
Starting point is 01:05:12 So Kelly's like, you did not buy anything. So Drew says, no, I talked to the shopper and he found the size. So we were texting and he found the right size and Kelly's like, okay, you did, but like you didn't like you're supposed to buy it at the event. And Shamiah says, you know, the, your sp the things that you buy at the event go to the proceeds go to osteogenesis imperfecta. And Kelly's like, you know, yeah, you didn't buy anything there. And she was like, well, I mean, I purchased it at some point in time at a different place. And I showed you a receipt from something I had purchased. And you know, we had a real conversation and we didn't go into the part about the foundation.
Starting point is 01:05:49 And I could have made sure that it did or I could have made a donation to your foundation if you had just told me, even though I was at a charity event for your foundation and knew that I hadn't actually supported your foundation at that moment in time, but I did buy myself something. Well, it sounds like she's saying they didn't have my size, so I contacted the shopper and he said he'll get my size and they got my size and so I bought it. But then couldn't she say, okay, well, if they didn't credit that to your foundation,
Starting point is 01:06:14 it should have been because I technically ordered it that night. But then again, it's like, we're trying to read too much. I'm trying to read too much into something that Drew is saying, which is probably at best a half truth. I think that normally I would be with you on this one. Normally I'd be like, yeah, she probably thought,
Starting point is 01:06:30 oh, since I contacted the buyer, it sort of counted under the umbrella of the whole event. But it's Drew and Drew is like, she's kind of like a crook. And she like, she's so slippery with her words. She's like, no, I bought it. I'm like, yeah, but did you donate or did you make sure those funds were being donated? I don't's like, no, I bought it. I'm like, yeah, but did you donate or did you make sure those funds were being donated?
Starting point is 01:06:47 I don't think so. Yeah, I like Shemia. And you know, the proceeds were supposed to go to osteogenesis imperfecta. So, they didn't. Yeah. It's just like that. I just like hearing that used in a housewives fight.
Starting point is 01:07:01 The proceeds were supposed to go to osteogenesis imperfecta. So, all right, all right, more importantly, Drew, are you or are you not Michael Jordan's cousin? And Drew's like, well, in my head, absolutely. I mean, it was a joke. She keeps saying it's like a joke. I wish they had rolled back the clip
Starting point is 01:07:21 because when she said it, she said it absolutely seriously and she was full online and did not think she's gonna get caught out on it. That was she was not joking whatsoever. She's like guys, my name is Drew Jordan. It was a joke. And they're like, yeah, that wasn't a joke. So, um, Dick from Copper says, Shamil, why was it okay for you to twist Drew's words regarding Pilar? But Angela was held to a higher standard when she relayed her conversation with Shemeel back to Portia.
Starting point is 01:07:50 I was like, mentally, I was like, what were these things again? This is too much for me. Okay. So yeah, Portia basically is like, yeah, it was cringy because like when courses, when I watched it, it didn't piss me off. But the way that Shamiah brought the information to me, which of course is in this case, it was Drew saying that like, you know, this money could help polar go to college. And Shamiah brought it to Porsche saying like, Drew says that she's paying for Pilar's tuition, which is not what drew said at all. This one I'm firmly not on Shemeah's side about this.
Starting point is 01:08:26 And you know, Shemeah's still standing in her truth about this. She's still like being like, no, that's what happened. You meant it to be shady and you said it shady. It's like, listen, I'm gonna come down on Drew really whenever I can, because she's hilarious with how much she lies and is self-serving. But in this case, Drew did not say it in a shady way.
Starting point is 01:08:43 She said it in a nice way. Well, she was being shady, but it wasn't anything that I would have been pissed about. I mean, it was like typical housewife shade. They're like, well, you know, she doesn't like you working with her. And she's like, well, she may not like it, but all the sales from this album
Starting point is 01:08:59 could pay for Pilar's college, because it's going to be so successful. You know, of course she's being, it's like a little shade, but I don't think it's like, because it's going to be so successful. You know, of course she's being, it's like a little shade, but I don't think it's like, Porsche's a destitute and she'll never be able to pay for Pilar's college without my album, you know. Yeah, Shamia brought, like,
Starting point is 01:09:14 unless there was stuff we didn't see, but Shamia definitely brought that information to Porsche in a much more incendiary way. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says, Part Two. See you over there, suckas. Watch what crap-ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.
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