Watch What Crappens - #2950 McBee Dynasty S02E05: Ozarks Brother Where Art Thou?

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

The heap of garbage that is Cole McBee, that is the McBee family, that is this TV show in general heads down to the Ozarks for some trashy fun. No hill will remain unpunched, and no car seat uncried upon. Join us for another recap of this skunked beer can of a series. McBee Dynasty!  To watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Travis fell in love with the perfect woman. Beautiful, understanding, available 24-7. There was just one catch. She wasn't human. Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now on Wondry+. Hello and welcome to Watch Watch Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only King of the Ozarks, Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. Oh my God, the Ozarks. I'm so glad that McBee dynasty took us to the Ozarks. I mean, we don't get to see that often. Have you ever been? Nope, never been.

I watched the show, Ozarks. But they didn't, you know, I feel like, I always heard we didn't get like the real side of the Ozarks. You know, they had like that kind of white trash family from the Ozarks. It was the main characters, you know, blonde girl. But that, they showed it in kind of a bad family from the Ozarks. It was the main characters, blonde girl. But they showed it in kind of a bad light, I guess.

But then they also show a different side of it. I don't know, it was cool to see a reality version where everyone was just making out in pools and there's like dirt motorbikes or whatever the hell those things are in the circle cage racing each other. Or men go to be men. Yeah, I don't know much about the Ozarks.

All I knew about the Ozarks was just that there's casinos and it's where a lot of performers go, like the Osmonds or Wayne Newton and stuff like that. So I really didn't know what the vibe of the Ozarks, I had a vibe of it being actually more wholesome. That's what I guess, cause it's like the whole Wayne Newton of it being actually more wholesome. That's what I guess, cause it's like the whole Wayne Newton of it all. I thought it was a place that was like,

like you go and I don't know, it's like a weird super Christian happy nice. I mean, it is still seems super Christian, but like in a different, it didn't seem like as, I didn't think of it as a bike, as as biker-y and as cowboy-y as the show depicted it. And so I was surprised.

I thought it was more of like- Speaking of Donnie Osmond, I saw his poster all over Vegas. Has he always looked like Rosie O'Donnell 20 years ago? He does look biker-y. I think he's aged into that. I think he's aged into that look a little bit. He's really grown.

And he's really worked towards that Rosie O'Donnell ideal. You know? The aesthetic. Yeah, he's really worked towards that Rosie O'Donnell ideal, you know? The aesthetic. Yeah, he really has. Well, if you guys want to watch this recap on video, you do that at Crappens On Demand. If you don't want to do the Patreon thing, that's fine. You can get them a week later over on our YouTube,

which just search, watch what crappens on YouTube, will pop right up. Also, our bonus episodes are on Patreon. This week we talked about our trip to Vegas, where I went to Beyonce, and we both went to Backstreet Boys, and Ben got fucked over by Delta Airlines. Boo! Fucking Delta, and kind of the Cosmopolitan too, a little bit.

And the Mandalay Bay. All of you suck it. And the Mandalay Bay. All of you suck. And the Henry. Let's just call out the Henry and the Cosmopolitan. Thanks for making me wait 25 minutes when you have five tables sitting right in front of me

blatantly and I had to stand there because I don't know why. I guess no pilots, no waiters on Saturday in America. But you know who doesn't get our boo? Beyonce. Beyonce. We're the Backstreet Boys. So thank you.

Those were great. So here we are McBee dynasty season two, episode five, Hurricane Kala. Why is it called Hurricane Kala and not Hurricane Cole? That's a little unfair. Yeah, I don't understand that. What? That's a little, that's some bullshit now. Now I'm not saying Kala is like some perfect little thing

and never does anything wrong, but Cole is a fucking monster and a terrorist. He's an emotional terrorist. Why are you not calling out Cole in this episode? You know what hurricanes do? They give a thrashing, they're over the sea and they come and they make landfall and they give thrashing to the land.

You know what Cole did? He punched a hill. He's the hurricane here. He punched a hill. He's a hill puncher. He did not punch a hill. She is a hill puncher. Okay.

Well, last time on McBee dynasty, new little cowgirl said to the farm and everyone was over the moon about it Except for the viewing audience who had to watch a gender reveal with a helicopter and baby powder. There was pink and pink and blue But that man what man is ready to be daddy. Boys will be boys. Am I right? Um, so also Cala and Steven, um, we're also looking for, for apartments for her and Cal has given up a lot for Steven. She did. She gave up all the nothing she was doing. So she's hoping to help out with her new apartment down there and now she wants some help

with all the nothing she does. I'm gonna say it one more time just to emphasize, she does nothing, she's a little slut. None of us like her. Well, the fam is going over to the Ozarks to relieve some old memories. We'll call it cost destruction or we'll call being asshole. We'll all find a way to blame all the misbehavior on a woman. Let's find out on the McBee dynasty.

Wheat nipples, wheat nipples, nipple gardens. No, dribbledore. Dribbledore. Dribbledore, dribble door, dribble door. Dribble door is also the name of the one professor who lives in town, dribble door. Yep. So, Cala is like, well, maybe I'll go to the Ozarks with you, but if anyone's shitty to me, I'm leaving. I'm telling you right now, Steven.

So we open with, cowboy cowgirl, come on we're gonna ride, moving on through the city, yeah we bringing the vibes. So Stephen's packing his bags, everyone's getting ready to go to the Ozarks, and we go to Cole and Casey's house, and Cole is also packing,

and Casey's going through old luggage and stuff, and Cole's dropping things in piles And he's and he's like mumbling about t-shirts and he's like, okay, we got four t-shirts can I make an amount? Okay, one two, three four. Okay. I need to lay it out visual that make sure I have everything Do I have enough bass bass country store t-shirts to go for the entire weekend? I need to make sure we have enough Muslim that's the name of that store? Bass Country Store. Do I have any Cracker Barrel t-shirts? Do I have enough branded Cracker Barrel t-shirts

for the entire weekend? Tell me, come on. Do I have any more law and order? Do I have any more shirts from the law and order store? And Casey's like, well, you already got some socks in here. Was this a flask? Is this a flask? And he's like, yeah, I got that left in there

from my last vacay where I didn't do nothing wrong. Why didn't do nothing wrong? Why's everybody blaming me for stuff? I'm a good person. So we go over to Jesse and Allie's city house and they're getting in the car with Tegan and Jake to go to the Ozarks. They have to climb over all of her Manolo Blahniks

because it's such a city house. There's so many fashions in there. The jazz players and the LaFoyer, God, that city house, so sophisticated. There's like a cow outside reading a newspaper because it's the city. It's a cow watching Annie Hall. Look at that city cow.

The cow's like, don't approve of Woody's actions, but his art speaks for itself. Am I right? Am I the only one? Is anyone going to the Angelica, Angelica Hay Center? No, no. So Tegan and Tegan is new to us, I think, right? We've never seen her.

That's Jake's, you know, Jake's the farmhand, doesn't say much, just stands in the back and kind of mumbles. And Tegan's the girlfriend. And she's like, you said shotgun, Jake. And Jake isn't, Jake's gonna stay back there. And Jesse's like, yeah, keep him up front with you. I don't wanna deal with him. What'd you say?

He will be sitting on a shotgun though. Yeah, of course I'm sitting on a shotgun. What the fuck? Unless I got a horse to sit on, of course. I'm sitting on a shotgun. What the fuck? Let's I got a horse to sit on what else am I gonna sit on back here? I need some power going against my cornhole for this whole trip Of course, I'm sitting on the fucking barrel of a shot and what else you do with it? So Jason you want to go by the bar just he's like what bar any bar We're gonna pass a lot of them. We're gonna pass pass a lot of bars. We're going to the Ozarks.

We can go to any kind of bar. Big bar, little bar, medium size bar. What about a gay bar? Absolutely not. We'll burn that one down. Remember we just keep setting up gay bars every once in a while just so we can put them up and then go in there and have people beat up. It's pretty good. They catch on eventually once in a while, goddamn Marys. All right, but there are lots of ours. We're on the way to the Ozarks. I was thinking we can go to referendum

and referendum and amendment. Oh yeah, well make sure you get a nice seat before you go in there at Liberty and Liberty and State. So that way it look real clean when you go there. Tickens like, all right, boys, put on your seat belts. Democrat, Democrat, the lady from below deck, just passing them on the street. Democrats. It was a real big red state moment for Bravo last night. That's for sure.

But I was being of seat belts. I just want to make a general comment. Fucking Cole McBee, wear your seat belt properly. Did you see how he's wearing a seat belt? He's driving the car and he has a seat belt like under his arm. Like he's one of those people that's like, I ain't gonna wear a seat belt the way they tell me to

cause I know it's better than this, Cole. So what, he puts it behind him? He puts it, he puts the strap that's above like under his arm. So it's like, he just has nothing here. He's like, I need my left shoulder to be, I mean, my right shoulder, my left shoulder to be free. I need to be free. I don't need no Democrat to tell me how to put my seatbelt on cut to rest in

peace to Cole McBee who was ejected from his pickup truck after he crashed into a gay bar. That his brothers then started calling a cold bar and started laughing. So Jesse explains the Ozarks to us. He's like, for us Midwest folks, the Ozarks is like our vacation, cause that's what you do during the summer. And we used to go down there, and we'd go there in the summer,

because that's what you do in the summer, go on vacation with your family. So yeah, the Ozarks, like where most of my memories is as a kid with my family in the summer, because that's what you do with your family in the summer. Doesn't Jesse say, yeah, it's just one of these great, inclusive places? Says something like that.

You know, we take lot white people, mid white people, all sorts of white people. People with brown hair, people with dyed hair, all sorts of different tattoos. All sorts. So we see them enjoying their childhood times in the Ozarks. I'm assuming it means all inclusive, like all the PBRs you can drink or something.

I think maybe that's what he meant, but he was like, it's just, it's an inclusive place. I mean, nothing's saying that the Ozarks aren't inclusive. It's just, it's- Except the video footage that we see. Except for the video footage of all white people. The whitest of the white. It's literally like you can see it from space.

It's like, look at that blazing bright cloud. No, that's the Ozarks down there. So let's go to another residence that Stephen's mother is probably paying for. Stephen Jr.'s Kansas City condo. So Cala comes and they're getting luggage into the car and he brings out his guitar. She's like, wow, bringing out the old guitar, huh?

He's like, yeah, I play guitar. That is what I play, all right, Cala? So. You are the most pessimistic person I have ever met about my guitar. So they get the guitar in there and she's like, okay. And he goes, oh my God, is there any room in this trunk? So they get the guitar in there and she's like, okay. And he goes, oh my God, is there any room in this trunk? What am I supposed to do about this trunk, Calla?

And she's like, yeah, I forgot to clean out the car. So. Do you mind co-signing with me on a box that I can put everything in? You co-sign on someone to clean my car. We own car washes, Cala. Jeez. Well, now that the first day of harvest is finished,

this is my one chance to get away and have a little fun. Like, are you gonna have fun? Are you capable of that? He's so intense. He's so intense and he's such a handsome guy, but whenever he gets a little angry, his dad's eyes come, he gets those evil eyes. It's crazy how his eyes can change shape like that.

That's really weird. It's like he's handsome and then he's like, oh. So they go- He's like cowboy Jigsaw. I don't know. Yeah. Oh God, I wish Jigsaw was that hot. I could actually sit through one of those movies. Those are the most disgusting movies.

If I have to watch one more person cut off their own limb, I swear. I swear to God, I've had enough of you, Saw. Saw, more like seen enough. Saw enough, okay, Saw enough. So she's like, Ozarks, here we come. Are there any alligators in the Ozarks? And he's like, I think there's been one or two.

She goes, don't say that. I'm not going to get in the water now. And he's like, you swim in Texas lakes. I don't think we have alligators in Texas lakes. Well, she says, I trust Texas. I don't trust Missouri. So, you know, the alligators in Texas, they're just a bit more respectful.

Oh, they'll say, oh, I'm so sorry, ma'am. I will go find a chicken instead. But those Missouri alligators, you can't trust them. They may say they're looking for a chicken, but they're coming for your foot. She's onto something. Well, guess what? Texas, in Texas, alligators can be found

in 120 of the state's 254 counties. There you go. Never knew of it. And I live in a Lake town. Okay. We do not have alligators in Lake Travis. I'll tell you that much. Okay.

So- How is it attacked by an alligator in Texas? Could you believe it? It shot me. That's why you sit on the shotgun. That's why we're out there. Thanks. I tried to warn you.

So Tegan's car, I got a bar. Farmhand McBee farming cattle and Tegan, Jake's girlfriend. So Tegan's like, Jesse, I never seen you drunk. And he's like, what? Never, I never seen that with drunk neither. And he's like, I haven't neither. I tried to get her drunk, she won't do it.

Well, I can't believe she ain't doing a triathlon tomorrow. I mean, she's doing a triathlon, that is crazy. What about Steven? Is he gonna do triathlon? Not Steven, I'll tell you that much, unless it's a guitarathlon. Has anybody ever seen him play that thing or just put it in trunks?

It is so crazy. So then we go to Calla's car and she's doing her makeup and she's like, is it weird that I'm coming on a trip with you? He's like, no, I don't think it is weird, okay? I think it is weird that you're dabbing your face with that strange powder that you painted ladies use. So he's like, I don't know that my family is too happy

that Kala is coming over. All I know is it feels good having Kala around because I can have sex with her. So he's like, do you feel any top of weight about it Kala? She's like, no, good. So when we go back now, well, I don't know why Kala's coming on this trip because is it acquaintances, are they friends,

or is it lovers, is they married? Did they friends? Or is it lovers? Is they married? Did they just meet each other? Did they go to high school together? What's happening? And she's like, yeah, I just don't know what's going on. It feels like whiplash, I'll tell you that. Like they're together, then they're not together.

It's always something different. Not like me and Jake. Me and Jake, what are we Jake? Together. Yesterday we were together, the day before that, we were together, tomorrow we're gonna be together, we're always together. May no confusion like that, guitar trunk person. So she's shaking her knife hand.

She's like, yeah. She's like, I got whiplash, ow, ow. So then we go to Callen Steven and she's like, well, I guess your family's used to us seeing us on and off, right? And he's like, yeah, they don your family's used to us seeing us on and off, right? And he's like, yeah, they don't mind. They're used to it. I don't think I've heard you utter a single positive thing

about anyone in my family. Kellen. Kellen. That's the thing. You are the most pessimistic person about my family I've ever met. So. She tells us, am I a dumb bitch for going on this trip?

Probably. Am I still gonna go? Yeah. I just want Calla to know, don't ever make it. Don't you ever think that you're not a dumb bitch for going on this trip. You were just a dumb bitch in general. Okay.

Actually, is it me? I really like Calla, do you? I think she's wrong most of the time, but I still like her. She sucks. Something about her. I think she sucks. I think she's in the right, but she sucks. It's like, she's the messenger.

Like, she's, I'm on her side about all this stuff. Like, I think people treat her like shit, but God, she's annoying. Like, she would be the sort of person where I'd be like, please get this person away from me. And I'd say that to everyone in this cast actually, to be fair. But like-

I was gonna say, I guess, cause we're talking about this cast, it's hard to pick, you know? But I kind of like her just cause she annoys everybody and she's just blatantly there to use their buddy and they just let her. I think it's hilarious. And then this episode where she's like,

I know so much about this family, I could take them down. I'm like, well, first of all, you're kind of late because that's already happened. But second of all, I kind of love that for you. That you're like, yes, that mom's gonna pay my rent. Fuck yeah, she is.

Because I know everything there is to know. Listen, I love a pretty blackmailer. What can I say? So Colin Casey's truck is driving, pretty bad blackmailer. I mean, yeah, I mean, a pretty blackmailer is the best kind, right? I mean, who wants to be blackmailed by an ugly person?

Am I right? Yeah, can we get some pretty blackmailers in here? I mean, geez. Hello. So Cole is like, I just hope Kayla doesn't get into it with anyone this whole weekend, okay? And Casey's like, yeah, you're just as mouthy as her. You don't say anything that, you know, you make her mad.

Just don't say anything. So then he nearly gets into a car accident because it's coal and he's awful at everything he does. And he's like, I'm a race car, everybody. I'm a race car. So then we go back to the other car, Jake's car, and Jesse's like, well, I'm not saying he likes being told what to do, but he does kind

of like when a woman tells him what to do, you know, like wears pants, you know, but not walk all over him or nothing like that. Cause we're family and we go to the Ozarks as a family. And he gets like, yeah, yeah. Hey, wait a second. What do you mean? He likes when a woman wears the pants. Didn't we vote to have that band?

So Jesse, um, the producer asked Jesse, so have you ever heard of BDSM? He said, uh-uh, I don't even know what that would stand for. Hold on, let me look it on my phone. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stephen into that, he just laughs, just looks at the camera and cracks up, and someone has found a new porn addiction.

Thank you, producer. He's like, I don't know who BDSM is. No, BDSM. He's like, hold on, I have to verify my age before I can read this definition. He lost. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now by joining Wondry+. Now we're at the McBee house and Christie is there. There's another McBee, Braden, because there just is a new McBee every single episode. They just keep on populating in real time. I think we've seen Braden.

I think they're trying to make Braden happen because Steven Senior is gone. Braden's like the fourth brother, but he talks even less. I mean, they don't let him talk at all. But he seems pretty nice. I really get the feeling like they're trying to fill in the void of Stephen Senior. They're like, Oh, look at this. It's a gardener that they once knew three years ago.

Hey, hey, hey, Ralph. Oh my God, Ralph is so great. They're just like auditioning people to fill in the gaps every single episode. Yeah. So Christie's there and everybody starts claiming their bedrooms and stuff. I mean, they're all kind of ugly, let's face it. But then we get to see the hero of the show.

It's Uncle Jimmy. Everybody hold back. It's Uncle Jimmy. We've heard about Uncle Jimmy. He's gonna make quite a mark today. But one question, where is Aunt Darla? I was promised Aunt Darla and I don't see an Aunt Darla. I feel kind of ripped off here.

You can't just, you can't just provide a Jimmy without a Darla. I think we all know that. So, Stephen told us that Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Darla were going to come down and Aunt Darla is like, I ain't doing that stupid TV bullshit. How will I ever hold my head up high in the piggly and the diggly if I do that? I'm not doing it. Listen, I'm still waiting for Thelma, Naomi, Benton and Iola to show up.

Maybe even Bubba, but you know, can only get so many mama's family people on this show, right? So Stephen's like, Uncle Jimmy is dad's brother. And he also worked on the farm. And he and mom are really close up until the divorce. So they haven't seen each other, but I'm really happy. My mom got us all under here under this one roof with really, really bad carpeting. I mean, this carpeting is dirty.

It is dirty carpeting, but you know what? I'm not going to say anything. I got a guitar in my trunk and Uncle Jimmy here. My stomach is full. And Uncle Jimmy is like, you know, I got a good woman with Darla, but I also know what I gotta do to keep her happy. Apparently I need to check off interface. Sorry, everyone. I hate to, I hate to bring the move down,

but we had a long discussion on the drive over here and it's a lot on my mind. Wow, you just really went there. I never knew this side of her, but apparently Jimmy was talking, the one, Jesse was talking to me about some sort of BDSM and I think that dog might be into it. I don't know. Hey, why do you guys all look so horrified? I took this as him just saying like, you know, she's a good woman, but you still got to make some effort.

You know, the man has to do something as well, Stephen, right? And Stephen's just like, uh-huh. He's just nods, like not getting it at all. So then we go to the Encore Lakeside Bar and Grill. It's a three Michelin star restaurant. It's a restaurant that closed already, but they just keep serving like grilled cheeses. Like, well, you know, on the menu, but you want an encore?

Okay, we've got some grilled cheeses left, okay? Yes. You have to clap in order for the doors to open. So- Or otherwise known as Beyonce's second half of her concert. Because after an hour, she's like, everybody, thank you so much for coming. This has been an amazing night.

Thank you. I loved being here. And we're like, woo. And then she performs for two more hours. Did you not remember saying goodbye two hours ago? You cannot say goodbye to me. My butt is like ready to go to bed after you say goodbye. After you say goodbye, I'm expecting one more song. Not two more hours. Not that I'm complaining. There's two more hours ahead. And that yes,

Not that I'm complaining. There's two more hours ahead and that's on the grill. Yep. On core. So they arrived just in time for three people to drive their motorcycles into a little cage ball and just do the thing that they used to do at the circus. So they're watching- Do you know how many stupid, toothless people have died trying to perfect this?

I mean, I was thinking about like, how did they come up with certain. Darwin's cage. Yeah. The dumpster ball. Yeah. I mean, it's really cool. Honestly, it is really cool. It is. But like what, what compels you to be like, I'm going to risk my life to see if I can ride in a synchronized circle in a, in a small ball. Yeah. There are a lot of coals in there, just like a lot of people just who don't get enough attention from their dads, you know? Yeah. But, there are a lot of Coles in there, just like a lot of people just who don't get enough attention from their dads, you know? Yeah, but what if I drove my motorcycle

into a circular ball cage? Hey, do you think my Kia could fit in there? Cause by the way, Cole is driving a Kia and I'm offended as a Kia driver. Uh oh, so he's going car shopping this week. Get him out of my car. He is sull shopping this week. Get him out of my car. He is sullying the brand with his ventriloquism.

Switching over. Seatbelt bullshit. So they sit down and drink and Uncle Jimmy comes up to Christie and he's like, a question for ya. Did you think Steven would actually be the first one to have a kid? And she's like, no, honestly, I thought it'd be Cole.

I really did. I mean, Cole's the one that really needs to lock one down. I mean, Cole could be dumped at any second. Look at the poor guy. He doesn't even have a mouth. And Cole's just like, what are you talking about over there with Jimmy? Cole does sort of have like, he sort of,

his face does look like a tree with a hole in it. Like it's like the thing that the owl sits in, you know? Yeah. It's like the little, it's like the thing that the owl sits in, you know? Yeah. It's like the little, it's like the thing, the little duck. It's like the tree vagina, you know? That's what it's like. In a neighborhood, it's where you go leave old books

and then people can pick them up and borrow them. It's a free library. It's... Except no one's putting books in that thing. No one's, people may put a tic, people use condoms or whatever in there. People put newspaper clippings of when he was a star in high school. Hey, remember when you were a quarterback here? I'll put a clip in your mouth. So anyway, yeah. So, um, so Jimmy is saying like, yeah, like you said, did you ever think

Steven would actually be the first one to have a kid? And, um, uh, didn't you always think Steven would be the one? And then Steven's like, you are the most pessimistic person about my sperm I have ever met. So then we cut to Cole and Cole's like, once I found Casey, I knew I'm knocking this girl up. I'm nervous by my side excited y'all. I mean, I don't know how it works. But I figured out. And he's getting wasted and Casey's just rolling her eyes and she says, whenever Cole drinks, it's a disaster. I mean with age, he just doesn't mature.

It's actually the opposite. I can't wait to have his baby. I know, right? Also he's 24. Let's stop acting like he's at the right bold age of 48. So now at the Encore Outdoor Bar and Dance Floor. Wow, that was, that almost sounded like that. Encore Outdoor Dance Floor. That almost sounded like an R. Kelly song. Encore Outdoor Bar Dance Floor. At the Encore Outdoor.

And after the party, it's the after party. And after Encore, it's the outdoor bar. And after the outdoor bar, it's the after party. And after encore, it's the outdoor bar. And after the outdoor bar is the dance floor. So Uncle Jimmy is like, can I have this dance, Christy? He's like, well sure then. So he gives her a sweet little twirl and he hugs her and he says, I love you. She says, I love you too, Jimmy. And she tells us, I haven't spent much time with Jimmy since Steve and I have divorced. You know, I haven't even seen him in five years, he was hard. Steve's family was my family, so I'm happy. It's like, you know, we picked up right where we left off. Well, yeah, he's nice to you again

because his brother's going to jail. I mean, I wouldn't have the question of like, I thought we were friends and then you dumped me the second and your brother cheated on me and fucking left me for the Russian secretary. Like what the fuck bro? But she's like, I forgive him. Cause you know what?

At the end of the day, you know what Jimmy is? He's just a boy. Yeah, I'm surprised she didn't get an angry text from Darla right away. Like get the fuck off my man. So I did notice by the way. When Darla didn't come, she was like, you can be fake as you want to with Christy Christ.

Okay. But Darla ain't gonna do that because Darla ain't some fake bitch. Okay. So you take Christy, you take her in front of the bike chasing ball and you push the ball and you crush her with it if you want to get inside this again. Okay. Why am I imagining Darla with like one of those like bandanas that's like tied in the front

on the phone with a friend. And I said, you know, I always say to Jimmy, I don't care where you get the appetite. You just know where you get fed. Am I right? So you know what? Enjoy yourself. Man, you Christy, cause I'm the full course.

And you know, she's got like big old curlers in her hair and the cigarette dangling out of her mouth at all times. She's talking on one of those phones with like a twisty cord. Like, yeah, that's what I told him. I said, I told him, I told him you let that cage, you do that. That cage roll over her like a big ball. I told him that I did.

I did. Oh, hold on. My cat got caught in the court again. Hold on. You're supposed to be nimble. Stupid Hubert. Um, I did notice that Chris. I should have left this cat under the diner

where I found him. God, the worst thing you could ever do is give a cat a slice of Mississippi mud pie. Don't ever do it. Is there, as long as I got you on the phone, is there a cure for mange? I think I heard something about the cat has it. I did notice that Christie,

when dancing with uncle Jimmy was like, oddly holding his elbow. I feel like she was like, I'm not gonna put my hand on his waist. She's like, I'm gonna draw a boundary and I'm not gonna do this unless the man tells me to do that, which case of course I have no power. Yeah.

This is just friendly. And when you're friends with somebody, you hold their elbows. This is how it works. What we learned in church. So Stephen is like, Hey, do you guys want to go down to the dock and play a game? And Casey's like,

Oh, I heard of this. I just thought this was the funniest thing that Casey said. So I heard of this game where everyone writes down a question and then you like put them in a hat and then you like answer them in a hat and then you like answer them. Wow, great game. Great game. Great game, Casey.

I heard a game. Question's the answer. I think maybe it was truth or dare. I'm not sure. We're on a problem now, so we have to play this game. We're not gonna, they said to make it into whatever we wanted to, but it just sounds

like putting things into a hat and then answering questions. So let's just do that. Hey, I heard, I heard a game. It's called Two Truths and then a Third Truth. You guys wanna start? I know a game. Let someone, let someone make love to you and then decide a few months later

whether or not you want their baby. Hi, here's the game. Mary, Mary regretfully wish you could kill but marry them anyway. So Cole's like, do they have to know it's my question? And she's like, no, it's anonymous. He goes, I don't know what that is, but do they know, are they gonna know it's my question or not? No, they're not gonna know. So Kyle is like, yeah, so don't know what that is, but do they know, are they gonna notice my question or not? No, they're not gonna know.

So Cal is like, yeah, so don't put your name on it. Just write like, don't write like from Cole. That's what that means. Cut to him fiercely erasing, scratching off from Cole. So they start playing the stupid question game, the game where you answer questions. And there's like literally no subtlety, which is so funny. Like the first one, the first one is Steven's.

He's like, okay, here's mine. Would you rather make out with Galena or live with her for a week? Oh man, and everyone's like, ew, gross, Galena, disgusting. Y'all know that Galena has a TV, right? I mean, Jesus. Galena's gonna see this. They're also like, have you guys seen

yourself? You guys seen yourselves? Do you guys think you're that much better? Seriously? Oh my God. Especially Cole, Cole, ewing anybody else is hilarious. And Cole looks like a marshmallow that stayed on the stick too long in the fire and it started to droop down towards your fingers. That's, I don't like, I don't want to hear it from him. No. So, um, Stephen chooses to make out and they're like, oh, gross, disgusting. And Braden's like, ew, dude, like dad's made out with her.

And Christie hides her face. And Braden goes, okay, here's the question I got. How does pregnant sex work? Well, pregnant sex work is a lot like lot like un-pregnant sex work. You just have to basically say, when I want a prostitute, you say, can I get a pregnant prostitute? Don't tell mom. So Cala is like, well, actually, Casey said y'all's sex life

has improved, and Christy hides her face again. I love that, I'm sorry, Casey and Cole seem to have the best sex life out of everybody in the family, which is weird. Because they've made a lot of comments. Yeah, it's just so weird that someone willingly has sex with Cole the most out of anybody out of this family. And that girl's gorgeous too, but she's like, yeah, usually we have it every day.

So I don't know why he's complaining. I'm like, you had sex with Cole every day? Oh God, how do you do that? I think it's just that that leftover charisma from star quarterback, you know, like there's like a, there's like an inertia that follows you. Like if you're the star quarterback, like if she was, if they went to high school together, like that star quarterback thing really lingers. I don't know.

That's the only way I can explain it. But at this point, Kristi leaves. Cause she's like, Oh yeah, I really do get inertia. Every day. Every day. I get in her. Shaw.

I get in her Shaw. Shaw. So Kristi leaves cause it's too gross for her her and Stephen's like, okay, I have the next question. Jesse, your wedding is a month away. How come I haven't seen any indication that you've been up at the farm taking care of the beef? Okay.

And also why haven't I have a prenup come across my desk? Oh, that's pretty ballsy to ask when Ali's not there, sir. Yeah. And so- That girl has been with him since like, before high school, right? Like, didn't they? I wouldn't be signing a prenup if I was her.

Are you fucking crazy? She has to be part of this loser ass family. She better get some of that money. Listen, if as long as you carve out that city house for her, she can, she'll be happy, I'm sure. Yeah. I hope she gets the city house. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, Steven's like, cause with the percentage from the car washes that make no money and shoot the farm that makes no money and shoot the tractors that the coal's broken. I mean, that's $50 million payout.

If we ever start making any money, we do know that this company has no money, right? We are $6 million in debt. So Jesse goes, draw one up, draw one up. And they're like, oh my god, you're going to talk to Ali? He's like, yeah. But then Jesse is like, oh god, that was stupid. She's going to kill me. Why would I ever do that?

She's doing triathlons. She's so strong now. He's just trying to impress his brothers. But he's like, oh hell no, I'm not gonna do that. She'll kill me. So on the dock, Casey is like, okay, last question. Steven, if Cole was running the farm, would you listen to him?

Oh, by the way, the card actually says, if Cole was running farm. So I had to add the the. So this is probably from Cole. Hey, you say this is gonna be anonymous. I love that it's on my road. If Cole was running farm. If Cole was running farm.

Cole wanted to hide who was writing the questions, but it's obviously Cole. My answer is no. And so everybody looks all upset. So now the next morning, the questions, but it's obviously Cole. My answer is no. And so everybody looks all upset. So now the next morning, they're having breakfast and they're talking about how, you know, the Stephen and Kelle are getting along and that nice.

And Christie tells us, I trust Stephen with everything he does in his life, but I do not trust his relationship with Kelle. Yeah, so Stephen and Kelle are outside talking about this like apartment in Dallas thing he does in his life, but I do not trust his relationship with Kella. Yeah. So Steven and Kella are outside talking about this like apartment in Dallas that she found that she wants Steven to basically pay for, but you know, they have no money so he can't really do that. And she goes, well, I need to get the apartment app in. Like, what do you think about co-signing?

I know you've got your name on all these loans. He's like, well, the farm is definitely tight this year and we need to make it six million by the end of the year. Otherwise there's no way I'll hold up a co-signer, okay? But my mom, she can do it. My mom would love to do it and she's a woman. So she'll do what I say. Oh my gosh. So they bring Christie out and Cal is like,

yeah, I was just telling Steven that I found an apartment close to my family, but like I need him to co-sign and I can't do it mama. Like it's 250, you need to make that much just to get into the place. And she's like, yeah, well sure. I mean, I'd love to help you out. Why would you help her out?

To me, this is crazy. She's not even dating Steven. You hate her. You don't like her being a part of this family. Why are you doing this? And this is what she said in an Instagram comment. I think it's maybe it's Facebook. I can't tell what it is, but someone was like making a shitty comment about her.

So she came on and she said, Hey, curly Jess 23, you're kind of contradicting yourself. So I stick my nose in their relationship by telling Jesse he needs to stay home with Allie, but you're also saying, I think my boys do know wrong. Hmm. Which one is it? And please explain how I treated Calabad. Did you know over the past three years how I tried to get close with her? I paid for everything for her, employed her two different times.

She wouldn't come to work. So basically had egg on my face while she wanted to do nothing with any of us except the benefits that came with it. Let's see what else. Oh, I'm currently paying her for her 15 month lease on her high end apartment in Dallas because she was too good to live in anything but that. Oh, and we get to pay for her car. It's not even in her name, it's in our name.

Clearly you have a case of diarrhea of the mouth. Christy out. But like, why is Christy, cause Christy does this whole monologue where she's, it's all the scene is intersplice between it. And so she's like, she's like, I knew she was a gold digger from the first time she came around, but I would do anything to get her out of my life. I don't even want to see Steven in this toxic unhealthy relationship.

And it cuts to her going, sure, I'd love to help you out. Well, just say, say, well, um, I don't know if I can really do that right now. We only extend these things to people that are family or significant others and you two are both friends right now and I don't think that this is appropriate. Or even easier just say, well, I'll think about it. I'll have to go check to see my finances and I'll get back to you.

But like she's just crumbled. It's stupid. And she has this whole big Facebook comment going off on someone and she ends it like, oh, I totally have the upper hand here. No, you look like an idiot because you're paying for all of this. Like you're the idiot. Like you're paying for somebody.

Hey, also asking somebody to co-sign on a lease doesn't mean will you pay for this apartment for me? So why are you paying the lease? Like this is cuckoo and you're digging yourself a grave and you should not be doing it. You are such an enabler lady. Like you shouldn't be doing this for your kids. Like it's too much.

It's too much. Your kids are failing, just let them fail. I'd love that she went off and created her own business and became like super powerful, but she is totally spineless around her kids and the family. And it's like, it's actually very sad. Like she just acts like she's helpless. I'm like her kids and the family. And it's like, it's actually very sad. Like she just acts like she's helpless. I'm like, you're the mom.

You can just say no. And you can have attitude about it because they're your kids and they have to listen to you. But she seems afraid unless upset her own children. Especially because your husband obviously isn't paying for shit. Because if you're paying for it through your company, that means the husband has no more money left

and you're having to shoulder all this. So if you're having to pay for it, then you have the power to say no. So I'm not gonna feel bad for you. And I think it's super crazy that Calla would expect to just break up with someone and then expect a family that she hates to pay for everything. And I also think it's funny that Christie's like,

oh my God, you know what? There's this girl and I could tell she was a gold digger. Really, you could? She met your son on a TV show called Joe Millionaire, where he was the millionaire. Like, why would you expect to find anything else? Yeah, she's acting like she figured something out. Commercials, here comes one right now.

So, Cal, they now go to paintball and some of them are like, they're sort of gathering, et cetera. And Kala's like, so Casey, would you say that Cole has been growing up? It seems like he's matured. And she's like, he's definitely changed a little bit. I mean, we'll see. He's definitely wearing bigger pants. He's growing out at least.

And Cal is like, he's probably gonna be a good dad. He'll be a good dad to somebody someday in like maybe 45 years and really not even then. Yeah, but what about you? Are you and Steven like friends with benefits? And that means you still have sex, right? Because I mean, yeah. And also leases in cars.

So, so they, um, they go and they have like this whole thing, this whole like they're shooting and everything. And it's like really fun. And then afterwards, uh, then there's like a silly thing where it's like, well, the tradition here is that if there's a groom, then the groom gets the goat, run the gauntlet people get to shoot him So he they all shoot at Jesse and it's hilarious And now it's time to go on a pontoon boat. So on the pontoon

catching rays and making waves all afternoon and It's one of my favorite songs actually and it's one of my favorite songs actually. So Stephen takes a Braden and Cole and Jesse and Casey and Cal and crusty to a bar where the boats can stay docked. And Stephen, this is such a Stephen order. All right, we're doing shots, sugar-free vodka Red Bulls. Okay, skinny cowboy. It's a skinny cowboy.

So they get those and Cole's like, I want four. And Chris is like, Cole, you were going to be a father. And I mean, yeah, but hello. Look at the one they had. So she said, I don't like when his drinking starts. That's when I start to get nervous. Cause it reminds me of their father and watch. I'm going to stand up for myself right now.

You, you watch it. I'm not going to take this from my boys. They're going to drink this. What's about to happen. Guys, I'm going to go home. I got some gonna take this from my boys. They're gonna drink this, what's about to happen. Guys, I'm gonna go home. I got some stuff to do. Y'all have fun. I know.

Kristy, you should be like, boys, you are in public right now. Slow down. I am your mother and I'm telling you to stop. And even if they don't listen, you should still say that. But then she's like, okay, I'm gonna go back home somewhere. Bye, have a great time kids.

Yeah, so now it's time to go in the pool and Cal is in her bikini and Cole's staring at her cause she's bodacious. So everyone, we just see drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking. And Steven decides it's his time to get loose cause I never get loose. So I'm gonna get loose right now

with some sugar-free Red Bull vodka shots. Yeah, you are the most pessimistic beverage I've ever had around my family. So then Cala is like being all silly. There's like this guy in overalls just like wading through the pool. I was like, please don't bring your jeans into the pool. Like everything that's in those jeans

now leeching into this experience. So then how- We've seen a lot of kind of what the Ozarks vibe is that they're trying to give us, but we don't see it as much as we do in the pool. I mean, when they get to the pool, that's when I was like, oh wow, this is different. It's like people in their cowboy hats and like,

just, I don't know, are they fully clothed? Like there's a lot of like grinding and fucking, and there's a lot of weird shit going on in that pool. It's like a, it's rowdy in there. Did the Ozarks tourism board, did they, did they agree to this episode? Because I can't imagine this was really what they wanted to put out there to the rest of the country.

You know what it was like? It was like in that movie, the gremlins, when the little cute gremlins all got covered in water and then they became gremlins and started partying in the kitchen and were like throwing things around and swinging from the fans like when it falls into a blender. I hated that scene. I was like, clean up. Stop it.

Just because you're a gremlin doesn't mean you have to act like an idiot. Grow up. So funny. So now Cole is like flirting with Cala, who's straddling and twerking over Steven, but then they're in the pool and she's jumping all over him. She jumps over him and like puts her boobs on his head or something.

And then Cole goes, I don't know what she's doing, but he sees her butt and he goes, oh yeah, that was- She's twerking, Cala, she's twerking. And let me tell you something. Oh, he this one, she did the twerking. OK. She really has captured the spirit of the Caribbean in her twerk.

The way that that butt cheek moved, not at all. She really got it down. She really. White girl twerking. White girl tw white girl. So Cole's like, yeah, I mean, if that was in my face, I eat it all day. And Casey's like, Oh yeah, that's funny. That is real fucking funny. And Braden's like, Cole, you're literally the biggest idiot. You got a pregnant lady over here.

So Casey gets all upset and also gross. I mean, just gross. So she gets all upset and he comes over. He's like, come here, baby. Come here. No mouth. Come over here. No daddy. No lips. I want to talk to you. Get over here. Come on. Lick my teeth. No, no, don't touch me. Don't touch me. I'm going to go home and play game of questions with myself. Now I'm mad. Yeah. So there are, Colton needs to go to bed. That's where he needs to go. So Calla walks off with Casey because she's all upset and then she's crying and she's very upset and she goes, he said he wants to eat your ass. She's like, oh me? Me? Oh, let's sit down and talk about it. She says, I think we're leaving. He's just trying to be funny, but after a while,

it's not funny. So Cole's like, Brayden, I will beat your motherfucking ass. Because Cole's now spiraling. He's so mad that he wasn't able to get Casey to accept his apology. So he's spiraling. And Brayden's like, you need to shut the fuck up, Cole. He's like, you're not my fucking mom.

Because if you were my fucking mom, you'd probably say nothing at all right now. Oh, you'd be fired. You'd probably get me $5 and pat me on the head. And Brayden's like, you need to stop. I never met a bigger bitch in my life. And where the fuck are my two older brothers at? Someone needs to be over here trying to do something.

And then we cut to Jesse and Steven and they're like wrangling, oh, we cut to Jesse and Steven just partying. And Cole storms off and he's in the parking lot yelling. He's like, I've changed my whole life. I did everything right. I've become a good person. I don't get no credit for nothing. It's like, how are you changing?

You just gained a hundred pounds and now you're drunk all the time and wanting to eat your boyfriend's girlfriend's ass. Like what are you bragging about bro? Yeah. Settle down Jennifer Hudson. You are not changing. So then Cala is like climbing into her car and a woman's like bitch, get out of the way.

And she's like, you got away you ho ass bitch. I was like, wow, those are just, all you need to bring is your love of everything. Right. I love that. It's just so casual to bitch. Get out the way. Now you get out the way bitch, ho ass bitch and she just gets in the car like it happens every day. I was cracking. Yeah. Also they use this later to show how crazy Cala is, but she was just responding. I mean, yeah, she was.

I'm sorry, but you can't hold this against Kala. When the Ozarks do as the Ozarkians do. So then we got to Cole, who has now like walked through the parking lot and there's like a little hillside, not even a hill, it's just like an embankment with like grass and stone. And he just starts punching the embankment.

He's like, what are you doing? I'm with you, I've changed. And he's punching the hill and the brothers are cracking up. I guarantee in the history of humankind, the hill has always won. That's why there's an expression dying on a hill because the hill doesn't die on you.

Listen, the hills have eyes and they're both judging you. Okay. The hills have eyes and they're both judging you. Okay. So the eyes are like, the eyes are like a squinting shot and say, please, please get away from me. Yeah. Look at you. So Cole starts beating up the hill and then finally just sits on the ground and starts crying and he's like, I'm there. I'm pissed. I mean, I'm going to be both my brother's asses right now. This is not funny. And I've changed. So then Cole is like, they get into like an Uber and Cole just like sits in the back seat and he like

grabs the headrest and the front seat. And he's like, hold on to it for dear life. And he's like, I love Casey and my baby. I just do everything wrong, but I'm not the same person I'm not the same person where everyone thinks I am. I'm someone who's just like two or three years older than that. I've changed I Just like you know look as far as like I mean, I'm just making fun of him for gaining weight That's not very nice. I'm just doing it because he's acting like he's just been on this journey Through like the desert where he's walked and fasted

and become a good person and he can't believe everybody's still holding him to it. No, you have not done that. You are, you were messier than ever. You're drunker than ever. You're grosser than ever. And you're about to pop out a baby, okay? He's like a, he's like a Hickey Jax, you know?

So then Steven's like, well, Cole's under stress because he peaked in high school, okay? And the farm is the worst it's ever been and he's gonna have a kid. So he's having a mid-twenties crisis, okay? He doesn't even know how bad it is yet because he doesn't know that there's an FBI investigation. So wait until I drop that one on him.

Yeah, he's like, yeah, I just think that it's finally catching up to him and he's just going to be, he's just going to be a dad and he's just not handling it well. And so we kind of just, I love how he just lays it out. He's like, you know, I think that Cole is upset because he peaked in high school. I know that said when the McBees are telling you that, you know, so Cole is like, I've been, he's like, I've been changing everything about myself. I just want to have a fucking good time. What have you changed?

Is this, this is the better version. I don't know if I even want to know what the worst version is. This is literally someone who has not changed. I don't even know. I, I, without any context, I tell you, this person has not changed from whatever he's claiming he changed from. Well last year in the first season, he, they go to Nashville for this boys trip and the girls get all mad.

And he basically, everyone wants to bang Steven, right? Cause Steven's like from TV and he's also hot and he's this big, strong guy. So all the girls like Steven. So Cole follows Steven around and waits for Steven to get hot girls. And then he tries to take the leftovers. And by the way, he admits this.

He's like, yeah, I hang out with Steven cause he gets hot girls. So he tries to take the leftovers. And by the way, he admits this. He's like, yeah, hang out with Steven cause he gets hot girls. So he waits for the Steven to reject people and then he tries to make out with them. So last, he did that last year and he ended up getting a couple of girls and flirting with them all night. And they're like, Casey's gonna kill you,

Casey's gonna kill you. And he's like, I don't care. I can do whatever I want to. I'm married or nothing. And then he acts like he deserves a gold medal because he didn't sleep with one of them. And so that was his whole thing. So then he got in trouble for that.

So now he's made it into episode, what is this, five? And he hasn't followed Steven around and tried to sweep up any leftover Pusse Sey. And so he feels like he deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for changing. It's like, that's as small as he thinks, Ben. That's like literally his whole thought process. That's exactly what I would expect.

So anyway, they all make their way back to the, well, actually before they even get to the McBee Lake House, Cole is not just only saying that he's changed, but he's crying. And then he's saying, I'm not crying. I'm not crying. Stop saying I'm crying. I'm not crying.

I'm not crying. No, look at me, I'm not crying. They're like, you're not crying. I'm not crying. Stop seeing him crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. Don't look at me. I'm not crying. They're like, you're literally crying. You're like, no, I'm not. I'm not crying. You don't say that. So they get back to the house and they start gathering. Chris said, oh my God, what did he call you? And Casey's like, I just said something because he was drunk and then he got mad. So Casey even protecting him, like leaves out the hole.

He got wasted and was hitting on Cala and said he wanted to eat Cala's ass. She leaves all that out. So Christy blamed Steven for this, of course, which she's right, Um, but it's also your fault cause you do nothing about it. And then Casey and Cole hug and makeup. And uh, then they go to the doc to drink some more, talk some more shit. So they all head down to the doc and Cole is doing this whole thing at this doc is like, he's like, I'm

a good person. And if I had my daughter here right now, I would still drink, but I would stay under control and not get inappropriate. So I would say to that Hill next time I'm going to punch you, but my little ladies here and I don't punch Hills in front of a lady. Okay. And I think God puts us through hard times like this. Whenever we had it, I do easy growing up. God puts us, God puts us through hard times.

Like it's in the Bible. Like there's parts when people were sitting there and God put an ass that they could eat and they had to make that decision. You're gonna eat that ass or you're not gonna eat that ass. And I didn't eat the ass. I'm a good person because you know, like when you've had it too easy growing up, you know, God

tests you. I mean, not Stephen and Kelly goes, Oh really? You think Stephen's had such a hard life for real? You've all had it fucking easy. I do his load of laundry and every day. And if I don't, he'll text his mom to do it. So why are you saying that he's had a hard life? Yeah, but he's, there's always going to be someone who's had it easier, but like he's

dealt with more than most people have at fucking 28 years old. You know how hard it is to be a really good looking muscular guy with a lot of money. He's dealt with a lot. That combine broke down last week. Huh? Tell me a 28 year old man who hasn't dealt with worse than that. Yeah. He gets up at 4 a.m. and he works his fucking ass off

and he says, he does not get up at four. He goes, oh yeah, and you had it harder than us and you've done really good in your life too, but he's had to deal with things no one should have to deal with at this point in his life. He's about to lose his hair and he's only 28. The other day I gave him a Reese's fast break and he didn't eat it fast enough and it melted.

He's dealt with a lot, a lot. Cal was the same and he goes, yeah, well same, well same. But same then. He did. I mean, Cal, like, come on now. You can talk about how hard your life is too, but you're literally so hot that you can live off of that. You're walking into this family

and getting everything paid for, and that's just what he did. So why is it any harder for you? Like, I don't get it. You both get the same thing. Cole is actually being kind of funny here because he's not being like, you don't, you didn't, you don't know.

You didn't grow up with a hard life. He keeps on saying, and you grew up with a hard life too. You guys both had a hard life. Life is hard sometimes. And she's like, no. He's like, no, I'm saying, he keeps on saying, like he keeps on conceding, like her points. Cause every time she's like,

you don't know what I've been through. He's like, you're right, I don't. You had it hard too. She's like, no, you don't, but no, stop it. Yeah, they're just wasted because he's actually, it's weird because Cole has looked like an idiot. So now I think what Cole's trying to do is kiss Steven's ass by saying,

Steven worked so hard and Steven's had it rough. And also so have you, Calla. He's actually trying to kiss everybody's ass, but Calla's like, uh-uh, he hasn't had it hard. I've had it hard. You all are privileged or whatever. Yes, now she's trying to get all feisty to the family that's paying for her condo.

Yes, and so Cole's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, you dead, you dead, and you're about to get your own apartment, so now he loses it, right, because she just keeps pushing him. So he's like, you're about to get your own apartment in Dallas with my mom paying for everything for you. So don't say all that, please. And Calis jaw drops.

And he's like, yeah, if you knew anything, you just love Stephen and not get sent back to Dallas. You just, you wouldn't talk shit about him all the time. And you wouldn't be nowhere in life without him. And it makes me so mad. I'm sick of it. He runs away. He does a lot of running away in this episode, like storming downstairs and up driveways and stuff.

So Cal starts to cry and Jesse's just eating a pizza crust all angrily. So just, well, actually, no, I'm sorry. He's actually, Jesse's eating it happily. Steven's eating it angrily because his arms are crossed. He's like, I ain't get, I ain't gonna stick up for you. You're constantly throwing me under the bus. She goes, how? Cause I have a hard life. As she was like, he doesn't have a hard life. He doesn't have a hard life at all. And now he's like angry cause he wants to be like, I have a hard life.

So then Cole runs, he runs into the house. He's like very Cartman, like Cole is so Cartman the way he gets all angry and like in a fuss, goes stumbling off somewhere. He is like, he's like, you can pay for this. My mama's gonna be real mad at you now, stupid. So he runs up and he, of course he runs right to mama. And he's like, she's on mom's father, motherfucking payroll.

What's going on? Because Steven provides everything for her. She said, he said it so easy. She says, we'll talk about it another time. Calm down, honey. They go, Steven provides everything for her. She said, he said that he's had it so easy. She goes, we'll talk about it another time. Calm down, honey. Calm down, you're just a boy. You shouldn't be this upset. He starts crying.

And he's like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Okay, now is not the time. And so Cal is like, really? Cause he just yelled at me. And so, you know, cause he is like, I don't care. It's my son. And Cole's like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm just trying to get you to realize

that Steven does everything for everybody. And Cal is like, she's just staring and like, like I like that Cal can just sit peacefully in the middle of chaos. Like she'll create chaos. And then she just sits there and looks at everybody. Like, hmm. And Stephen just pushes her across the floor.

I love this shot. I was like, this will become a GIF. She's just sitting there staring. And Stephen just pushes her across the floor in her stool away from everyone. She just sits there. I'm just trying to get you to realize Stephen does everything.

And Cole's like, wait, I'm not the one who fucking yelled. Why are you pulling me away? And Cole's like punching the air. He's like, where's the hill? Get me to a hill. Send her back to Dallas. So Cal is like, the truth will come out, Stephen, and you'll be fucking buried for that shit.

She goes, you'll be buried. You'll be buried. You're gonna get buried. So now Christie's with Braden and Cole. She's like, no, everybody'll be buried. He'll be buried. You're gonna get buried. So now Christie's with Braden and Cole. And she's like, nah, everybody go to sleep. Go to sleep now. And Cole's like, Casey doesn't talk about me that way. How can she talk about the Steven that way?

Poor Steven, mama. And Braden's like, yeah, cause she loves you. And Casey and Allie a lot, my sisters. But Calla ain't my sister. She ain't my sister. Oh gosh, she's so messy. and Ali a lot, my sisters, but Calla ain't my sister. She ain't my sister. So, oh gosh. So she's like, Stephen in the other rooms, she's like, Stephen, why are you so scared?

And Calla says, Stephen told me that his father's being investigated by the FBI, which by the way, like someone needs to really look at Stephen, this guy who's like the CEO of the company telling his on and again, off again off again unstable toxic girlfriend, maybe not girlfriend details about the fact that like the FBI is investigating like that's not smart of your CEO. Look what happened with Stephen is really, Stephen's really like toxic and messy too. And he keeps telling Cala all of these things like pit her against his family and put the

family against her. And he likes complete chaos. I don't really know what his game plan is, but it's like he wants to keep Kala around, but separated from the family or something. It's fucked up. I mean, Steven's pretty fucked up. So, and yeah, it is really stupid for him to tell her that.

But did he tell her innocently because he needed someone to talk to, or did he tell her because he wanted her to bring it out on camera because he didn't want to be the one to bring it out on camera? You know, I don't know, I can't tell. But now she's doing this whole bit

where she's saying like, she's like, everyone's mad, but I don't know what the fuck I did that was wrong. I just need you to go downstairs. Everyone is too drunk. She's like, I am not. He's like, at 32, be mature and be done instead of making things as hard as fucking possible

on this family. So Christie's like, Stephen, calm down. Calm down, okay, Stephen? Stephen, just calm down. So Calla goes downstairs and packs her stuff. And Christie tells Stephen, this isn't love. This is, I don't get why you would drink with her. You're both miserable.

You make each other miserable. What are you doing with her? And she says that Stephen's not perfect, but Calla is poison to my family. And he tried to make things right by being with her when her sister passed, but I'm not going to allow it anymore. I cannot wait to pay the first lease payment. I can't wait to do it. I will not allow her to poison this family, which is why I will invite her to dinner and pay for her new car and a new house and maybe a second house. So now, Casey sits down with the brothers and she's like, oh my God, she has a cowgirl hat on. The girl's getting ready to go. And Cal goes out to like the car and there's an Uber there. And Cal is like,

I have so much tea on this family that they would not want out there, but there might be one thing that comes out pretty soon. They are being investigated by the, Galena shows up like FBI, I would have said it, I did it like two weeks ago. I already did this, I already did this, you hack. You are hack.

I thought you'd kill some chickens, then you'll be real good. Real bitch. Yeah, is there something else? Because I like that she ends like, and something's going to come out soon, but you just told us the FBI thing. So was that it or is there more? They voted for Biden.

Oh. Oh. Kamala fans. So yeah, I mean, I'm not really sure, but also like you're taking money from this family and then being like in the same episode, you're asking them to pay for everything. You're like, I'm gonna bring them down.

It's like, yeah, it's called blackmail. Pretty blackmailer. There you go. Yeah. That's what that is. All right, everyone. Thanks for being here. Another McBee dynasty in the can.

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