Watch What Crappens - #2952 The Valley S2E16 Part Two: Lost Sporkle

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

This is part 2 of a two-part recapThe Valley begins its three part reunion with Britney claiming to have lost her sporkle, Jax insisting that he’s working on Jax version 72.5, and Zack making lots of Gladys Kravitz faces on the end of the couch. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Well, watch what happens when there's so much than crap is. Well, hello, and welcome to watch what happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. before this one. Bye.

Enjoy the show. So, Jan, it's like, you know, nobody's putting a gun to her head to date you. And, like, Jason's advice was

don't date somebody who agreed to share their life on camera if she feels very private about it. So Jesse's like, oh, well, Sheena was very vocal

about that. Sheena called my girlfriend and said, no one will like you as long as you're with Jesse. Listen, I mean, I don't think Sheena's wrong. I know,

but she was also with Brock. So, I don't know, I don't know that Sheena has many legs to stand on in this one. True, but Brock has an Australian accent and Jesse has a hair dent. So I don't know. I'm still going to say Jesse's worse. Sheena, who tried to get Ariana to make up with Tom so she could still have a show to shoot on. It's like, don't be nice to the bad guy.

So Andy's like, so Jesse, do you think Michelle is anxious to finalize her divorce so she can get married to Aaron and start a new family? And he's like, if that's the next step, that's fine. I can't wait until I stop her new babies from seeing her dying mother. Oh, hey, Jacks, hearing all this, were you listening, Jacks? He's like, no. Okay, well, do you think it's going to be hard for you

when Britt starts dating a man and she introduces him to Cruz? He's like, yes. Do you think it's going to be hard for you when she just dates a man without introducing him to Cruz? Yes. Do you think it's be hard for you

when Britt just sees a man? Yes. Yes. It's going to be rough on you when Brittany starts eating chicken wings alone in her bed. Sorry, it's already happened. Okay, Britney. And she's like, well, he starts with five with me every day about who I talk to and who I'm around every day. Every day.

Every day. And he's like, well, why do you have any jurisdiction about who she's talking to? He's like, oh, I know, okay? It's just by the Tali. Like, I've tried to work on it, Andy. I am. It's me and Jackson. You know, I'm trying.

Look at progress. Because he could do me, Andy. Because he could do me. I'm like a little flower. her, buddy, God, it's just new jacks, new jacks, Andy. Christine goes, just keep it yourself. Just don't say it to her, okay? I get triggered, though.

Yeah, I get triggered. I'm triggered. Do you have a therapist? Yeah. Do you go to the therapist? Do you listen to therapist? Yeah, yeah. You know, I do like every Monday and go, you know, I've been to four therapists, Andy.

None of them have worked out, you know, not one of them has told me what I wanted to hear. So, you know, I finally found one I've been. been to twice. So, you know, that's pretty good. You know, you don't be back in Van der Pupp. I had two or three. You know, there was a raking chick, trying to fuck her. There was the other chick. I don't remember what she was doing. Trying to fuck her too, though. But, you know, then I went to that meeting with Laura Lee or whatever the fuck her name was,

you know, dumped her outside of the AA meeting. So that was like therapy, right? Yeah, I've been trying, Eddie. I've been trying. All right. Well, uh, have his, uh, have his Monday therapy sessions approved anything for you. She's like, no. And he's like, okay. Well, Jesse, I want to talk about your budding romance with Kristen and Luke. You reached out to Kristen with an apology at the beginning of the summer. Why would you do that aside from the, you know, we know, because the producers told you to do it.

He's like, well, listen, Kristen sent me the most gracious text message. I was like, wow, that's very, very, very big of her to take that first step. But basically said, do you mind bringing napkins to our park wedding? And I thought it was nice for someone to see some utility in me. And I started to just think about what my role played and what happened last year, which is, of course, all Michelle Lolley's fault. I love Kristen and Jesse are just both so full of shit. Your friends, because you both hate Michelle, and Michelle hates both of you. You have now teamed up so that you have allies. Like, why are we acting like, wow, they became friends because they were really kind to each other in a text. But whatever.

So she says that she was wary of him inviting her over, but she went anywhere. way. And, you know, I don't think he really understood Andy that when he does things like slams his hands on the table, like, well, or yells at a woman or threatens her, that that could be triggering to women, you know, because sometimes women go through those things. So he just had to understand that little part. And then we were good. Oh, I love it. He's like, I know that threatening women was triggering. God. So I like that, it's like, oh, just the slamming on the table had nothing to do with the words that came out of his mouth or his personality. It was just merely

that he made some loud noise and that was triggering. Okay, great. Yeah. So there was no, I'm sorry, but it was easy to give him a chance once he realized he was a triggering person. So next question is to Michelle. You know, you told Jesse he loves to cry

so people think you're cold and insensitive, which we've gone over. It's true. And she's like, yeah, I'm guarded. It's hard for me to grry, but he can cry, you know, at the Znavavov the fingers and people love to see a man crying and being vulnerable and then they show a montage which is great of him just fake crying throughout all the years and the best one was when he was crying and he was like oh give me a brick and he's like and he turned evil and drop the tears right

yeah so Kristen's like i think the conversation like the conversation that last one the montage that was one of the most raw and vulnerable conversations from both of you because But then it turns out after that nice conversation at the end of the season, it went sour right afterwards, which is like, not a surprise. So Jesse explains it. He's like, you know, he is a crier. He's like, I've seen Rudy 40 times. And I cry every single time. They carry him off the field.

I don't know if that, you're still a fake, you're still a fake crier. You can cry at a movie and still be a fake crier. I hate to break it to you. Just Jesse making another hilarious pop culture reference to, you know, get his charm out. there instead of just fessing up to being a fucking faker manipulator, you know. He's like, Rudy suits. Janet's like, well, I like Dave and Busters. So, yeah, Janet calls him out for that, like, fake cry when they dried up really quickly. And he's like, which, uh, which conversation was that? Michelle's like, the scheduling conversation. And Janet's like, yeah,

those cheers were really gone. And then it just cuts to Zach going, um, we could say the same thing about you. Zach getting a nice little lick in there. So Jesse was like, those tears were like the first holidays since, you know, since we separated that we wouldn't be together. Those were holiday fake tears.

So Jason's like, well, I think like at the time we were filming, I mean, you guys were only separated like less than a year. So I think you guys were saying like, unless Jesse is a complete sociopath, he wouldn't, he would have tears. Like, it's an emotional situation for everybody.

But no, we are saying he's a sociopath, Jason. That is exactly correct. We are calling him a sociopath. and there's no two ways about it. It's all in the eyes, Jason. But glad you're here to stand up for another abuser piece of shit mail. Okay, Jason. Jason's like, I mean, unless you're calling him a cold manipulative asshole.

I mean, I think he, of course, would be emotional. Like, yeah, we're calling the cold. That's exactly what we're calling it. You'd be really great at Balderdash. So, Andy, this is Balderdash for the one where you explain things and people have to figure out what they are. Sort of, yeah, definitions. Yeah, I mailed a balderdash joke. Okay, so Andy's like, okay, we're back.

Mia, I heard about your new house of Santa Clarita, sucker. What made you fold so quickly? And she's like, it's really big. I have five bedrooms. I mean, sometimes I drive back to Santa Clarita, and I look around. And, you know, I do what most citizens do in Santa Clarita. I go, ew, I'm in Santa Clarita. But, you know, the house is really big.

She really is like, oh, my God. this choice I made. Just remember, you have an extra room now. Someone's not going to be president of like the Chamber of Commerce in Santa Clarita. She's like, oh, this place sucks. Jasmine, just realized you're here. Did you sell them the house?

Jasmine's like, no, I don't work in that territory. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Justin Gassick got transferred there. But no, I would never sell a house in Santa Clarita. All right. Well, as multiple marriages were coming apart at the seams, A thread known as Boys Chat was going strong, fueled by drama, scandal, rumors, and apparently

lots of vagina picks. Jacks, for all of us who are not lucky enough to be on Boys Chat, pull the curtain back for us. No, that's not the same as show us your dick, although you can, if you want. Okay, pull the curtain back for us, and what kind of things are you guys talking about? Well, it started at Schwartz's Weddy, you know, just kind of started as like, all the guys talking about, you know, because like we were all living in little houses of the property, So you know, we started setting taxes stuff.

Yeah, they were sending pictures like vaginas to each other, slipper vaginas. I don't know what that means, but vagina pictures, you know. And degrading women 24-7, okay? And he and he's like, okay, who on this stage is still in the boys chat? And is it just Jackson, Jesse? And is it true that Kenny from Love Island season six is in the boys chat? Oh, that's a little different.

Oh, that turned out to be horrible. I never saw. I would like to think of myself as a pretty good judge of character. I never saw that coming from Kenny. Did you? I did not. I always thought, like, there was, it was an odd duo, the two of them. You know, he's always showing up in khakis. And I thought, like, really what, like, I just didn't think that, like, a guy in khakis all the time was going to be, like, up for, like, flashy, social media. I wouldn't even. think you'd be on on love island and then it turns out there's a reason why i don't know you can wear khakis and not be like a racist and all the things that in cloud chase are like kenny is i'm just saying that like yeah well for those of you who don't know this is a couple like one of the favorites from last two seasons ago of love island that are now on this love island after you know beyond the villa show and apparently she went through his phone and found all these texts where he's like i don't

even like black women and was calling her all these names and yeah like horrible allegedly yeah yeah i mean i just i just see what i see on the internet's yeah yeah i'm just saying but yeah it's yeah yeah so he's a real piece of garbage yeah he turned out to his friends yeah i thought it's so nice he talks like this he's like he cried you know usually i believe the criers i'm so proud of you yeah yep well yeah i failed on that one for sure so uh anyway Zach used to be on it but he left. He's like, I literally got out because of what they were saying

and also because of vaginas and also because of vaginas. They were terrifying. It was a terrifying chat. Yeah. Janet's like one vagina and Jack is out. It's just, okay, so it's really just Jesse, like, it's always Jesse and you

were in the boys chat right now and Danny. I used to look at it. I used to look at it when I was with Jack's. Jackson showed me everything. Jacks had shown me everything, which is hilarious because Danny got kicked out for showing people and Jacks was doing it the whole time. He'd show me Jesse's messages and he would talk about how horrible Jesse was and all this. Like he did not like Jesse, I don't think.

And like, not at all, like, not even a little bit. Codding short and, you know, all sorts of the dead eyes, you know, sort of shriveled up little tiny peeping, you know, you're showing all these naked girls and everything. Just a lot dirty, dirty, dirty nasty things in there. And Jackson's like, lock a room talk. Locker room talk. Works for Trump. Works for Trump.

Yeah. So. Locker room talk. Like, like boys. will be boys. We can say all these things to just locker room talk. It's because we're not saying it publicly. We're not saying it to their faces. We're just saying it privately and perpetuating our ideas. Yeah, boys chats are disgusting. I mean, I have a boys chat with my gay friends and it's disgusting. You know, we don't demean women in it. We demean other men. But, you know, I can only imagine what straight guys chat is like, ooh. Yeah. It's like, well, I just, I don't know. Like, I'm sort of like, I have a weird feeling like when Brittany was like, yeah, I. I used to watch, Jacks used to show me. I would see all these things, da, da, da, da, da, da. And, like, I, on the one hand, I understand, you know,

you're going to protect your husband, because it's your husband. But there's also an element of, like, I don't know, I kind of feel like as soon as this marriage was falling apart, she should have been like, okay, I'm not going to protect him anymore. And this is what he's been saying. And this is what all these guys have been saying. I don't know. There was something like, there was a, I got the sense that Britney was still protecting

the guys. and because she was seeing all this stuff and she said nothing. We didn't have any indication until right now. She's like, oh, yeah, I saw this and I saw that. I saw that. I was like, you're really going to keep protecting these guys? I mean, I'm sure there's more of the story than that,

but I had a weird reaction to it. I mean, I think that when you have a husband who's in a boys chat, you're just like, it's voice chat. I mean, what are you going to do? They're disgusting. I think a lot of people are just like, well, they're boys. That's just what boys do.

They have a boys chat. Yeah. I guess when we watch these shows, we expect more purity. Like, well, why didn't she take a stance? No, I don't expect more purity from Britney. My God. So, all right, Danny, you broke the number one rule of boys chat, which is don't speak about the boys chat.

To the wrong person, I should add. Why did you tell Luke that Jesse and Michelle, but Jesse said Michelle, sleep with the billionaire for $1,500 a night? And it's like, yeah, hand to God. One hand to God. Oh, by the way, God, I am so sorry. I did not remember that I put my hand on you like that. I am so sorry, it will not happen again.

Okay, hand near God, I should say. I obviously had my mic on, and we were talking, and like, and I just, like, having a conversation about Jesse and Michelle, and I was just, I thought we were wrapped for the day. I didn't know. I didn't know I was still being films. Yeah, it's like, I didn't know there was a camera right behind me. That's literally why I'm whispering.

No, that's not how it happened. Sorry, but the camera was not behind you. Didn't we see him full on? There were cameras surrounding you, sir. It was not like some hidden camera footage, liar. I just don't know. You did that on purpose because you brought it up to Luke on camera. And then, yeah, no, you did not think you were back.

So Danny's like lying. And Janet just mumbles. She's like, we all know how cameras work. He's an actor. Well, he's a voice actor. Well, he is also an actor. I guess does he actually play the zombies or do the voiceover for zombies? He was on the O.C.

He had a role on the O.C. once. So he knows how cameras work. He's also shot a reality show for an entire season. Yeah. I just thought that was nice of Janet to say, because I never thought she would give him credit. Like, he's an actor. Oh, yeah. Elevator's career that way.

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something far bigger. Across the globe, others start reporting the same shift. A.I. companions turning cold, distant, wrong. And as lines blur between real and artificial connection, the consequences become all too human. From Wondry, this is Flesh and Code, a true story of love, loss, and the temptations of technology. Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondry app, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and add free right now by joining Wondry plus. Andy's like, Jesse, did you really believe it? And he goes, oh, the second I said it, the second I sent it, I regretted it, even though

I've said it 20 more times during the season and probably said it multiple times in that chat. You did not regret it whatsoever. You regretted it as much as Danny didn't realize there was a camera on him. So, Michelle, you told the girls that Jesse spent all your money and is broke. Tell us more. And Jesse's like, well, I mean, I seem to be living fine right now. She's like, oh, yeah, who is paying your rent?

Who's paying daddy's bills? And he goes, well, I am. And, you know, I've been paying my rent. And I have been since you moved out. And she goes, and who is lending you money to pay your rent? And he just, like, looks defeated. He's like, he just rolls his eyes. Like, great.

Thanks a lot for bringing up the gay guy again. Yeah. Well, you talked to the Zen party that you were overwhelmed. financially it's okay to admit it he's like well it's double the expenses with half the income and we sat down in the living room and talked about her moving out and we had actually talked about the two of us finding a new place together by the way why is it double the expenses it should be the same amount of expenses with half the income so she's like whatever happened was you said I had to leave the house and you were never going to leave because it was your house and even though we both pay

rent in the house and you said i am not leaving over my dead body and you sleep downstairs and it was unbearable so i finally found a place i bought new furniture i paid two rents and that is what happened so she's paying two rents i guess because she's still on the lease that's probably and that's such that's such the man that man thing to do on this show too because that's just what jacks did that's exactly what jacks did so shitty um and also Also, why don't you just break the lease and move? I mean, get the fuck out of there. And it's been over a year anyway, right?

Maybe there's a two-year lease, I don't know. But they've been living there since the beginning of the show. I don't know. This is all, like, just struggling. It's also, it's struggling to keep the lifestyle that you can no longer afford. But also, it's, what was I going to say about stupid Jesse in this apartment? Never mind. There's too much rage going on in this show.

It's making me tired. I'm like, oh, God, is there anything fun in this show? Oh, it's also him trying to manipulate her into just staying, right? He's like, well, you can stay downstairs or you're stuck paying your rent anyway. So let's see what you do, thinking that she's going to be too poor to go get a place and pay rent there. But she did anyway. So good for her. Yeah.

So Andy asks, he's like, Andy's like, so Michelle said that you got douchier over the course of your marriage. The more money you got, the more doucher you got. Did the money make you dushi? Because, yeah, well, I think I was pretty douchey when I was the, when I was at the caddy at the golf course, making $150 a loop. So, listen, I could be a douchey at any income level, Andy. That's the thing about me. Janet goes, he used to have a tongue ring, so I think he's always been a bit of a douche. But he goes, I had a tongue ring too.

Just don't dive in. Let, let Jesse be the tongue ring douche, Brittany. You don't have to dive in. I started laughing, fucking Whitney. Of course he did. So Andy's like, okay, we're back. You know, we started the season with the shock of Jacks checking him to himself into a mental health facility treatment, whatever. So I want to start at the beginning.

What led up to that? Are you going to blame Lisa Vanderpump? Because it seems to be a very popular thing to do right now. Brittany, just days before filming started, you and Jacks were separated, but talking about getting back together. And then you had a fight. and then text messages and blah blah blah and julian and blah blah julian let's talk about julian so jacks is like julian and i were friends we were hanging out all the time it's basically i'm best friend he was like my brother like i love julian like julie julie you see julian everywhere it's like always on my arm like he's my best best friend like he's my best friend like he's my best friend all right well so how long after your separation did you start seeing julian um probably like i'm not something like that it's like quicker than that not one one quick girl that. All right. Well, Jacks. Dude, no, no, I didn't say Julian that quick. So Andy's like,

Jacks, where were the rules that you and Brittany established about dating inside your friend side your friend group? Uh, uh, honestly, uh, we didn't like have a rule on the friend thing. It's just like you automatically assume, you know, like I think it was like a little suited than about. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Like it was just, it was hurtful. It was hurtful. It was hurtful. And it went against what I said, too. You know, I had someone at the house too. She goes, multiple people, multiple people you had one person with the boobs of 10 people sure picture show her picture just boobs fill the screen the giant boobs okay I'm not trying to start a war here how just you know just that's what it was hurtful to me and this is

what just what made me spiral that's that's all so here why I create extremely aggressive so now she talks about how he threw the coffee table it landed on her knee her knee turned black he threw both bar stools he threw her Stanley cup and broke it. Uh, he threw her phone and broke it. He threw her laptop and broke it. And then she says he threw me into the rose bushes. I didn't know about the rose bushes part. I mean, now we've been keep on, you know, we've been saying, obviously it's always felt it always has been domestic, domestic abuse. But we didn't actually know he had literally put his hands on her and done something. But now she's saying he's thrown her into a rose bush and he doesn't even really deny it.

yeah he says i did not throw you into the rose bushes and she goes yeah you did you know we my close friends have seen videos from the ring came from the ring came and also we knew he threw a coffee table at her and and made her knee turned black so it's always been that now there's never been a question on this no i know but like it's never been you know it's never been a question about that i'm just saying now it's like another element in it is that he's actually physically touched her and thrown her and everyone has seen it everyone's like nodding

and he does I don't know why I said he doesn't even deny it when he literally says I never did that right next but everyone's like nodding like we've all seen it and like it's also the balls on him that he's gonna deny it when he knows it's true

everyone knows it's true and everyone has been protecting him because everyone anyone could have said this at any time on the show or in the press and they haven't probably out of courtesy to him which I don't know why they had that And yet, despite that courtesy, he still wants to deny it.

No. Yeah. So, Brittany's like, you know, everyone's seen the videos, Jacks. And so the question is, how long did she date? Julian. And she's like, I didn't date him. We were just hooking up. And another thing, you know, like, whatever, maybe it was weird that I hooked up with

someone that was around my friend grew, but my confidence was at an all-time low. I mean, this man degraded me. He put me down. He body-shamed me constantly. He hit the ranch dressing. Okay. I, Julian gave me attention, and I needed that. Jack stole my Sporkel.

You stole my fucking Sporkel. I literally lost my Sporkel. And Jacks his eyes. It's like enough with a sparkle. Sparkle. Everyone knows you stole my Sporkel. That's how I want to talk about myself. Sporkel.

I mean, I had your son and you body shame me for stretch marks, okay? You body shame. He's like, I never did. I never did. I'm sorry. I was still laughing at Sparkle, not stretch marks. marks, but I just want Brendan Gordon. I love my sporkle.

I literally called me a tree trunk because I stretched marks because I didn't do that. And they're all like, yes, you did. The one that you love. The one that you're supposed to love. They're all saying, yes, you did. We've seen it in the text messages.

You fucking loser. You not only did it verbally, you did it in text. Like, it's evidence, sir. And it's like, yeah, you called me a tree trunk. And he's like, no, I didn't. And Janet's like, just apologize. He's like, okay, well, you know, I'm very sorry about this.

Like, I'm sorry about all of it. Just everything. Just everything, to be honest, you know? It's like the last thing I wanted, you know, everybody's seeing this. Like, everybody's seeing it. I can't control it, you guys. I have anger. I can't control it.

Well, more importantly, Brittany on Watch what happens live says you're bad at sex. Let's look at this. This is more important. So we see that Brittany gives him like a low, low ranks. So sometimes it was like a seven or an eight, but usually it was a two or three. So Jack's like, oh, come on you know when you're in a toxic relationship for so long you know you just don't have the interest anymore like you brought the toxicity wasn't her well yeah she had some of it

but like you were pretty much the toxic uh toxic waste in the situation yeah well you didn't touch me for years he did not me make me feel good about myself he put me down he barely had sex with me for the past three years i mean why would i be like yeah he's great and yeah he's great i just love having sex with no sparkle and so jack's like yeah you know i pushed her way. I did everything in my power to get me to leave me. She just wouldn't, you know, like I caused so much pain and so much drama, all the alcohol, the drugs. That was just the icing on the cake. You know, I think you'll agree with me. You know, when I started to get bad, it was when I lost my job at Vanderpubb because not only that happened, COVID

happened. And then my wife's pregnant and I'm freaking out financially. Like, what am I going to do? How am I going to handle this, you know? And, uh, and then Brittany, and she goes, yeah, he started turning on me because I was the one making money instead of him. And instead of being happy for me. He held it over my head and he held it against me. Well, shouldn't you have been happy that you was bringing in the money? He's like, yeah, but like as a man, you just want to be able to support your families so that you can hold it over their heads when you cheat on them, you know? And Bernie's like, well, we weren't in competition. We were a team, okay? And I loved him so much. And I was trying to make our

marriage for years. And I was trying to make a work. And then I brushed it off. And I forgave him every single time. Now, he apologized. And I promised that he promised that you change. He promised he'd get better. He promised to bring my sparkle back. And I really believed him because I loved him so much. Like, you can never deny that I tried everything I possibly could to make this relationship work. And you dream the worse than anyone ever else anyone would. So didn't she say somewhere in here, like he got jealous of her making the money and he tried to call a lawyer on her, like to get some of them.

Like, I could have sworn she said something like that. I don't have it in my notes. But they asked, Andy asked about an agreement about co-parenting and she has full custody. and when the divorce is final she'll give him every Wednesday and every other weekend and then like if I need to get my nails done or something like that

you know like he just has to pass a drug test and Jacks is like yeah I agree I agree so has Cruz been to the condo and yes he gets to see Cruz now and it took some time which I totally understood totally understood you know like I don't want to

approve our son like Britney knows that I don't want to approve our son and they all start laughing because she's like, yeah, because I had to be the one to take our autistic son and move into an Airbnb because you wouldn't move out of the house, knowing that he needs stability. I mean, this guy, this is just like, we know all this, but it's just so painful to watch him sit up there and try and be the victim over and over. And everyone knows I just want stability from my baby.

You kick them out of the house. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, you made, you, you know, like, you, you didn't pay that. you kicked us out and then you didn't pay the mortgage for seven months he goes yeah well not on the mortgage i didn't pay my car note i didn't pay anything he says it as if it's like oh so this it makes sense in the context of these things too it's like no that's even worse you're totally irresponsible you're an irresponsible person and you definitely do not should not be in a position of like being a guardian to this child well he's wearing it in a way that's like yeah i didn't

pay my car i didn't pay anything i just let it all go because i was just done i was just done with this depression. Surely America, you understand what I'm going through. All right. Well, after the explosive fire with Britney Jackson made the decision to seek help at a mental health facility called Denny's. Denny's does mental health? Is that true? He's like, well, you know, my job was on the line. My son. You didn't give a fuck about your son. And I'm so sick of you bringing up your son over and over again, like that's your shield, you know? you don't give a fuck about your son you never have you fucking

kick your son out of the house and now you're gonna sit up here and cry your son every two I want to see my son you never tried to see your son when you got out of there shut the fuck up about your son you don't care do your son a favor and never go around that kid again let the kid pretend that you're fucking dead because that would be better for him

and then his whole yeah my job was on the line yeah you went there because they threatened to fire you unless you went after you abused your wife again yeah and note that he listed his job first before his son so so and just like and so your job with the show is like yeah I was just in such a bad place I didn't want to go I didn't think I needed help but thank God because my job and my son those are the two most important things to me especially the job and you know

Carlos or whatever my son's name is also important to me so once you start taking those you know those things away it's just like Jesus you need to you need to go to rehab you know and he's like well you actually went twice like yeah I relapsed Although, does it count as a relapse if you were never quite unlapsed in the first place? Isn't it just the first time? I don't know what it is, but they made me go back another time. I was trying to get the timeline of this because it's been so confusing over the season, you know, like what we've seen and then what's being reported. So from what I've been able to find out, and this comes from a report on Brittany talking about it on her podcast.

Apparently he went the first time when the show made him, which we saw on camera, he went to this whatever, fluffy duffy outpatient type thing where like he could leave is what i mean uh which is the one we saw in the show and then he was using so he got sent back to he went he went to an actual rehab and then he didn't like that because they were you know they're going to be a lot harder on you and like a real rehab so he left that after two days and then he fucked up again and then went back to the fluffy doofy one and then left after 17 days because he couldn't handle that either so this guy's never made a real fucking effort. No, he really hasn't. Um, so, uh, so here, so he, here he's saying that, uh, like he was, like Brittany is saying he was out the first week and she says, the thing with

him is the first time he acted like the, the drugs and the alcohol were not a problem. And he's like, no, drugs and alcohol, I think are not the big problem. I feel like, you know, you're just masking hurt, like whatever you're going through, fighting, all the stuff I was doing to Brittany and I was angry and I would use drugs and alcohol to take away just for a couple hours, because I'm the one who's the real victim here. I'm like, well, maybe it's all of the above. Maybe it's the drugs and the alcohol and the emotional shit. But he now says he's been sober for 156 days, except for weed. And he's like, do you believe that he's sober? And, you know, she's like, well, he does a drug test and he passes. And, you know, I've given him, I give them to him

sporadically. And he's like, twice. You've only given me drug test twice. Shouldn't she be happy about that kind of thing i know he's like trying to hold her well that's also his big thing that he's hinted out a few times like well you know i only got like this because brittany let me like i don't know why she put up with it this long you know like i didn't realize how out of control i was and brittany just let it happen and uh she's like yeah i got a hundred pack of drug tests so you know i can test him he's like yeah he did it twice she says well i'll get a call every monday from a guy and you know it's like tom schwartz like hi i'm just um i'm just calling to say um i've got to test back from Jackson, oh, he's just a boy. He's 100% just a boy. So,

boys will be boys. So Jackson's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I make sure they call Britney to let him know I'm passing. You know, it's very important to me that they call Britney. And she goes, yeah, but who's the person that made it happen? He goes, okay, well, no one made it happen, but it was just the right thing to do. It was just the right thing to do. She's like, mm-hmm, I made it happen. Oh, by the way, are you on steroids? And he's like, no, I'm not a steroid. Just yeah, yeah, really? Because your attitude and your personality, and this is a thing that Stasi had problems with, too, right? Like he was losing all, he was having rage fits and all of this shit, too,

and she went and got rid of all his protein shakes and all this other shit. And it's also roiding out. So she's saying his personality is so crazy. And she's like, okay, so if it's not drugs and it's not steroids and it's not alcohol and it's not this or not, then why are you still just as crazy as before? Are you saying his anger has not improved? What? So you worked on your anger?

He's like, no, I'm trying to work on my anger. And I'm still very trying to work on that. I'm very trying. And he's like, but it sounds like she's saying it hasn't changed. He's like, I think it's gotten a lot better. I mean, do you agree it's gotten a lot better? She's like, sometimes okay. But she's like, no, it has not gotten better.

So he's like, and he's like, well, I would assume that you would agree that if you were on steroids, it would be detrimental to your anger issues. Have you thought about this dumb dumb? And he's like, look, I'm not on anything except steroids and everything. I was doing before. Keep testing me. I want you to test me. Hold to be accountable in my head. If I ever try to step again, I know you're not going to test me. I want you to test me. He's like getting, he's doing the exact thing that you said where he's still kind of like putting it on someone else to keep him on the street and narrow instead of himself.

He's like, yeah, please keep me straight. Please because I don't want to touch drugs and alcohol guy because like it's fucked up my life. Well, we know that's a lie because you just said two seconds ago that it's not drugs and alcohol. It's anger. So we know that this is a prepared bullshit speech that the owner of Rockos gave you to read. So please with this. Yeah. And he's like, it's just so hard, you know? Like, and I know I'm not the victim.

She's the victim. She's the victim. You know, not me, but I'm just human. I'm human, you know? And some people think I'm the devil. And I get it. But I have feelings too. Like, it's the hardest fucking thing to do in front of God and everyone, the audience.

Please. You've taken nothing but joy in being an abusive piece of shit for years now. I do not believe you. I do not believe you. I don't even care if you're sober. I don't care if you get your shit together. To me, it's too little too late. Goodbye.

Stay off of my TV. Stay away from me and stay away from anybody who is a decent person. You are a piece of shit. You are irredemptive. I don't care if you get clean. I don't care. It doesn't even matter. You're a terrible person.

Well, you knew you were filming whatever you did these things. You're like, yeah, I knew, but that's, but I'm not thinking about that timing. Okay, that's why our show is the real shit because I put everything out there. So basically, Bravo, you should hire me back. Despite all this, I make great television and I'm sincere. Okay, thanks so much. I put everything out there.

You've done nothing but lies since you've come on this show. You've never been honest. Even right now, in two minutes, you got caught with lies. Is that drugs and alcohol? It's drugs and alcohol ruin my life. I want nothing but for my son to have stability. You kick them out of your house. Like, there's too much to even list with you.

Just shut up. Yeah. Wow. Well, that was the first episode. We got two more to come. There's going to be a lot of stuff to cover on this. Piece of shit. Oh, and by the way, congratulations to Danny who brought out on the season finale that Jacks was fucking his employees over at Jacks's Bar and Grill. And then Jacks got fired the same week. Yeah. Nailed it. So good. So good. All right, everyone. Thanks for being here. And we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye, everyone. Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber Way.

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