Watch What Crappens - #2954 RHOM S7E8 Part 2: Two Ships Sassing in the Night
Episode Date: July 31, 2025This is part 2 of a 2-part recapThe Real Housewives of Miami are split onto two separate yachts, but not even that can stop the squabbling when Diana is armed with a water gun. And her mouth.... You can watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Well, watch what happens when there's so much than crap is.
Well, hello, and welcome to watch what happens.
This is part two of a two-part recap.
If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one.
Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.
Go back and listen to part one.
Okay. It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.
Everything. Which actually, that makes me believe that there was no vast conspiracy theory behind why Nicole left it really was about like postpartum and stuff going on in her life.
Because I don't think if they fired her, I don't think that they would include a moment where they're like, what would it take for you to come back if they fired her, you know?
Well, I think there's a lot of shady accusations about Anthony's money and his business and his shady lawyering and he's like an injury attorney and apparently fires a not injury.
What does he do?
He's like some kind of person who has like mass lawsuits against people at all times just to try and get settlements.
And there's like a lot of shady stuff out about him.
And I think she didn't want the girls.
I think that Mary Sol probably was following him around with the private eye or something because I do believe that about Mary.
all. Those rumors seemed true to me. And she was like, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to, I'm not going to get rid of my riches to stay on this stupid show with those crazy brujas. Like, I'm out of here. Yeah. So I think she's just going to do the friend of thing and keep it simple on herself. Yeah. And by the way, I think the friend of thing is like, she looks like light and happy. I mean, she always looked great, but she looked like she really did look wonderful in the scene. She looked, she looked just like, ugh, I'm so unburdened.
right now i don't have to deal with the bullshit of these people i could just come in
have a free lunch on bravo and then go back to being wealthy yeah so let's go to the
miami beach marina kiki we got all the long slow motion walks up to the boat just strutting in
kiki looks so good i was like i took a little video of it and i put it up on twitter i was like
does anyone walk into a scene better than kiki she just is like model catwalk radiant smile god radian is
my real buzzword today i wonder how many more time
I can say it. But she is radio and she's smiling and like in the sun and gorgeous.
I was like, this lady just knows how to make an entrance. I love Kiki.
Okay. Yep. She sure does. Very slow motion.
I don't even think they use slow motion. I expect a big yes and on that. A big yes and. Come on now.
You're very breathless gay today over the ladies walking back. I'm a little breathless.
Oh my God, you guys. Kiki is effortless. Mother icon. Yes.
He is a vision.
Yeah.
And oh my God, Kiki and Nicole might as well just be Team Radiant.
This is the kind of gay I am.
My friend texted me this morning and was like, do you want to go see Gaga?
And I was like, you got tickets?
And he's like, no.
And I was like, no, I'm not going to pay $500 to go see fucking Lady Gaga.
Are you crazy?
No.
And he's like, what kind of gay are you?
I said that kind.
It's a kind who will not pay $500 to see Lady Gaga.
There you go.
I'm sure she's great and everything, but I'm just not like an icon mother kind of a gay.
So, yeah, Kiki walks very slowly.
Okay, so then she gets on the boat.
Larza comes, and she gets aboard her yacht.
And Kiki's like, when you think of Miami yacht, you think of the luxury, the lifestyle,
the rich men who can loan you boats for a day.
And that's what we're doing today, baby.
I, unfortunately, because of this show, I also think of, um, these ladies doing terrible music videos for Adriana, too.
But like, that's fine.
That's fine.
Overall, I have very positive views of Miami.
I think of a community theater director, uh, overseeing a shoot to be like, I need you guys.
Okay, come on.
Is everyone in places?
Come on.
Places.
All right.
Shuffle tap.
Shuffle tap.
Are we eating grape leaves are doing the great vine?
Can we pay attention here?
Okay, you, the Russian one, you do the Roger Rabbit, you, the one with a crazy face, you're going to do the cabbage patch.
Okay, it's called fusion action.
Are we moon walking or are we moon talking ladies?
Let's pay attention.
Stay attention.
That guy was great.
So we see these yachts.
It's fun.
We see the captain and the captain.
It's like, well, this year is the master where the magic happens.
Oh, yeah, this is where I'll be humping myself.
Ha! No, I'm just kidding.
It was funny, though, right?
Yeah. Being on a yacht is super fun and such.
And, like, you don't have to, like, do anything.
There's, like, a crew-like, and Jetsky's like, and champagne at all times,
and, like, lots of this and that and X Y, like, it's so good. I love it.
So now, um, we meet Ebony, the new friend of, who's Lisa's friend.
Lisa's like, hey, everybody, I got a new friend to me.
It's Ebony. We've known each other for years and years.
And she knows Kiki. She knows Gertie. She's always got my back. She comes to my Halloween party.
Sometimes takes things home in a Tupper where I'm not going to lie, but no one else is eating the food. Am I right?
Ebony, ladies and gentlemen.
They are just, this show, they just keep on adding more and more friends of. I feel like Atlanta used to have the record for the most friend ofs.
But this show now has a full on stable. I mean, what happened to Carmen Carrera?
She just, we just met her. And she's already what? She doesn't even get to come on.
on the double yacht trip. Come on now.
Yeah. She's, she's moderately famous.
Yeah. So Stephanie comes and Alexi's like, oh, I don't know.
Is it too soon to throw somebody overboard? I mean, under the boards. I mean, over the boards.
What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? How could you correct me in front of Frankie? He was here.
You know, I know that like it's accepted to say overboard, but Peter likes to say underboard and he's an artist. And I need to support his artistic vision. So I will now say that we're going to throw her underboard, sass.
So she was like, you know what, no hard feelings, but I'd rather not be on the boat with Stephanie.
So Stephanie comes and Stephanie's like, I'm here. It's the loud one. Do you guys want to finish my house to her?
Oh, my God. I can't.
So Mary Sol's like, we just found out you're not staying with us, Stephanie.
And she's like, yeah, I'm going to go on a quick little trip to Canada with my hubby. He just loves Canada.
Yeah. You know, one of his big kinks is paying too much for books. So he loves Putin. Now, by the way, this is how you can tell that she is thirsty, thirsty, thirsty. Because look, Montreal is beautiful. Love Montreal, been up there several times. It's gorgeous, wonderful city. But if you are turning down a yacht in Miami to fly up to Montreal for a night, really to fly almost anywhere, you're only doing that.
to brag that you can do that because no one in their sane mind is leaving a yacht in this
beautiful blue water am i right i would am i right hundred percent i would leave the yacht i would
leave some old man's borrowed yacht for a day to go to a luxurious comedian trip hell yes i would
i'm staying on that yacht i'm saying on a yacht in miami i'm sorry yachts are just club
super sex can wait spaces smell like you you're getting gas breathed into your face i don't know i
I've worked on the dinner cruise, which I know isn't like the same kind of yacht they're going on here.
But I don't know.
To me, it's just a big stuck with a bunch of people I don't like in a tiny space.
Well, I also, by the way, don't love that this event was planned.
And then Massoud decided that he was going to have a romantic dinner the same night as Stephanie's job.
And I don't like that he did that.
Because this is her job.
She has to be on the double yacht and she has to deal with it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, if that works, fuck Massoud then, too.
Thank you. I knew I could get you.
Yeah. Yeah. I just took a little. I just needed to let the seed.
I needed to water it a little bit. And I was like, let me, let me apply some, some Bronwyn and Todd mentality onto this.
I'd be like, wait a second. Ronnie wouldn't like this if Todd did this to Bronwyn.
Let me do this ankle instead. Come on, be angry with me.
So Alexia is like, oh, it's going to be such a fun weekend. I totally need this. You guys, Peter has been through so much.
Okay.
So, Stephanie's like, where am I sitting?
And Maristow's like, oh, yeah, I can just go over there somewhere, okay?
So we find, we see a clip of Massoud sending beautiful roses to invite her on this trip.
And Alexi's like, she can have some fun with Massoud.
That's what she should do.
That's what she should do.
Not on the boat.
Not on the boat.
So Kiki's like, okay, well, we're going to tie both the yachts together.
And then Gertie's going to join us on Lars's yacht.
but unfortunately we had to split the group
because Lars and I, we were fighting
who gets whose yacht, you know?
Marisol said she doesn't want to be on the same yacht with you, Adriana.
I'm sorry, she goes, me?
Why me?
Someone doesn't want to be on the yacht with me?
Come on.
It's me.
Come on.
And you know, Adriana is upset about two things.
One is that Marisol said she doesn't want to be with her.
But also, the Kiki Yacht is like the JV yacht
because it's all friends of's and then Lisa.
And Adriana, you know, in her mind,
is thinking like I deserve to be on the varsity yacht but I'm here on the JV yacht and
meanwhile Julia gets to be on the varsity yacht and I'm here and oh and now Marisol gets to be on there
too and she's going to say use me as the excuse you know all these things are going through her head
right now yeah so Marisol's like well I don't want to be on Kigi's ball with Adriana I would like
to look at the face get the digs get the comments I don't need all that I want to have a good time
brought my mixers brought my maxers
Well, I totally understand Marisol, because if I would be put on Tiki's boat with Gerdie, there I would have said, I'm sorry, guys. How sick was that, right?
Oh, so sick. I was waiting for the blood to fall. I mean, what are we in Carrie? What are we going to throw around things in the high school gym? I mean, what is this? Where's Sissy Space set? Get a little freckle face over here and just abused me throughout my childhood, am I right?
I'm not looking forward to joint dinner tonight with everybody.
Okay?
Oh yeah, well, so how long are we going to be here for?
And Lars is like, we're ready to go.
Come on, let's go.
Okay.
So, um, yeah, Stephanie says that basically a tender is going to come and fetch her when the time comes.
And meanwhile, Adrienne is now spiraling.
She's like, you know what the problem with Marisol is?
She has no empathy with her dried up bony shriveled up dry ass.
Yes.
So a guy, I love Adriana, I don't care.
So a man rides by on a bicycle and she's like, hey, daddy, there's a party here tonight, party for three.
So then they're all mortified and they drive off or they float off or whatever.
So they make some cheers and Adriana just immediately starts getting shit-faced.
She starts pounding drinks.
She's slurring like within five minutes.
And she goes, oh, what is that over there?
the mean girls, but the problem with Marisol, she has zero talent. Zero, zero. Sorry, but it's the
truth. You know what else? Dry knees. Dry. Those knees are so dry. This is the talent,
talent yacht over here. Is the talent? Is the talent here? Marisol had no zero talent.
Talent is over here. Dry knees was my favorite. And so Stephanie's like, um,
Does this boat have a stabilizer?
And Lars is like, of course, it's like a boat.
Like, of course it has a stabilizer.
Of course has a stabilizer.
What's a stabilizer, by the way?
Well, it's not very stabilized, which is something that could be applied to this entire cast.
I like that Stephanie is just already dissing the boat.
Like, my boat would have the better stabilizer.
Yeah.
So then meanwhile, Lisa's like, oh, my God, there's a dolphin.
Oh, my God.
You know that sometimes they try to rape you.
And then Ebony's like,
dolphin rape is a serious thing, guys.
Hi, I'm Ebony.
I'm on the show now, I guess.
You know what I want to talk to me?
And it was to promote awareness about dolphin rape.
So it was great.
Janet's like sexual assault.
Their dolphin's sexual assault.
I'm sorry that dolphin decided to do the sexual assault.
The dolphin was trying to pretend to be so perfect.
I was cornered by a dolphin that wanted to have some tequila.
There, I said it.
When I was a kid I was out in the ocean
And I kept swimming out and out with a friend
And then I looked back to shore
And our parents were freaking out waving at us
Come back, come back
And there was a shark coming around
They thought we were going to get killed by a shark
But it was just a wacky dolphin
That whole time
You know, dolphins fuck with you like that
They do
They're smart
Like I could kill your children
Just kidding, I'm a dolphin
Anyone have a beach ball to throw me
I'll toss it up with my nose
Can nobody?
Dolphins are so rude
because they like if I remember correctly they like heard little fish closer and closer to the shoreline because then the fish get trapped they're like wait a second we're running out of room it's maniacal and I think they also flap with their tail the ocean and the force of that stuns the fish the fish are like oh geez what the fuck so they really are they're smart those dolphins yeah dolphins will fuck you us I love them they also work like for the CIA or something they just need to articulate better seriously
they're so close to just like taking over the world if they just learn more like consonants yeah could you imagine being that smart and but all you can say it's what was that what are you attacking leah black we love you leah um so uh Adriana's like I'm drunk already I better eat but Mary saw the ring leader with her damn dry knees dry knees does not allow
to make people all have their own opinion uh maybe it was bad idea to tell
adriana why marasol didn't want to come on my yacht she is manipulative she is cunning the fake
burkin bags and cubic zirconia rings that would not absolve you from the evilness of your soul
it's like adriana talking to a plant so a potted plants it's time for a commercial it's time for a
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So then at the other yacht,
Lars is like, so you guys like cool now, like, like.
And Stephanie's like, yeah, we've always been cool.
And Alexi's like, oh, yeah, we've always been cool.
But like, I don't like that you said that I bark because like I don't bark.
And she goes, you do bark.
And she goes, no, but like you said like, so do you.
And you're like a chihuahua.
She goes, but you barked at me.
But like, I'm a Rottweiler.
But you're a Chihuahua.
But like, I'm like a Rottweiler, though.
Then she goes, really?
Because I think I'm more like a wolf.
And she goes, oh, yeah.
Well, then I'm more like a lion then.
If you're like a wolf.
Like, I'm a rot, I'm a rat, I'm a rat, lion.
I'm a rat lion.
Yeah.
Stephanie's like, well, they don't bark.
By the way, it's so Alexia for many reasons.
But I like, one of Alexia's patented moves is that she's like, no, everything is fine.
Everything is fine.
But you did say something very insulting to me.
She always says everything is fine.
And then she adds a comma, but by the way, you did this and I fucking hate you.
But anyway, everything's fine.
everything's fine I love yeah but they don't bark stupid yeah really because I'm like a penguin
then so what are you going to do with that watch out I'm gonna throw I'm gonna throw her on their board
she better watch out so um now the the the women like the boats are next to each other women
kiki and the girls on her yacht go and like wave at the other ones and i was like what's up
bitches dry knees oh yeah thank god I'm not on that bowl
Oh, my God.
Stephanie, you're on the wrong boat.
Stephanie's like, no, I'm going to get out of here.
So Marisol's like, local.
We can't have fun.
Like, cheers, cheers.
They're on that boat.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Let's have fun like.
So Adriana sees them talking.
And she's like, oh, Marisol induces the craziness.
That's why you're saying it's crazy because you induced it.
She's like, oh, you see, she doesn't stop.
I mean, that's why I'm not on that fucking point.
I can't. Like, jeez, what is going on?
If she's telepathic and just doesn't know it yet, like she doesn't understand it?
Like, yeah, I know. I heard you. I heard what you did to me.
I heard, and there are two separate boats.
So she's just like yelling across to the other boat.
And she's like, well, yeah, because you don't know how to be nice, man.
You don't know how to be nice.
You know, you don't know how to stop manipulating everybody.
Fuck off.
You all whore.
Your old whore, drining whore?
I don't know what gets into Adriana.
Adria is not fun drunk.
Not like Marisol.
Idiana just turns nasty.
I was like, is Marisol a fun drunk?
Is she ever, has Marisol ever just been fun in general?
I don't know if I saw that.
That sounds sad.
Did you hear my carriage?
Oh, come on.
Why, you're like Piper Lurie just coming home from the grocery store.
Am I right, everyone?
Come on.
somebody like needs to like give her like a biscuit or like something like to sober her like up like and uh leased is like drinking is actually fucking poison it's poison that's why i stop drinking except for the day i say it's suffering the day you know they lured my best friend in there because she is trying to be with a cool girls some ourselves just complaining to stephan like she's like whatever and adrian is like you know one day she's gonna realize they're not the cool girls they're
They're like mean cougars.
I mean, Stephanie's like, well, okay, I got to go, but I just hope you guys have a great time.
There's no arguing.
Okay, my boat's here.
Bye.
Can we remodel this boat?
It reminds me of the wife.
Okay.
Can we make it float less?
Meanwhile, Stephanie is trying to say goodbye.
And Adrienne is like, go get plastic surgery on your bony knees because they need it.
You wrinkle knees.
even Adriana and Alexia have to crack up because it's so good it's like who goes after someone's knees for like an hour
and Marisol's like oh yeah well this bony house got three husbands so doing something right
and so she's like oh god that woman's an asshole I can't take her so then we see uh you know
clips of Adriana sassing off to Marisol and she's like she's an asshole you know that's my answer
about Adriana every time take it to the bank
asshole and i love that she's wearing her widow uh her whole widow thing in the uh diary room right
now because i love like it's just an angry widow she's an asshole the veiled out over her face
but i think isn't this also where she shows off her like bespoke goblet that says cockies on it and
sparkles i was like oh yeah you know listen no matter what's happening mary soul is going to try
very hard she's going to try hard well you got to with all these narks hanging around so
Stephanie is, she gets off the boat and now it's time to go jet skiing.
This is like a whole below deck episode.
So they, um, Larsa, like goes down to the jet skis and she's now in her bathing suits.
So her ass is just like, boom, like out and everyone's staring at it.
Like, holy shit.
And then she slips.
She's like, oh, like slip like.
And the captain's like, this is why I like helping.
Hey-oh.
Oh my God.
Lice has an ass.
I've touched it.
I've squeezed it.
I've drank out of it.
I've gone back for seconds and third.
It's just so fucking delicious and fluffy.
I mean, it's perfection.
So then Lars and Alexi go drive off on their jet ski.
And Kiki is filling some water guns wackily.
So they go shoot the ladies with some water guns.
And Adriana's like, permission to come on board.
Do not tell anyone we are coming.
Okay, don't tell dry knees.
Okay?
Don't tell her.
Although she probably could feel our presence because we're holding water.
So, you know, those creaky dry knees feel.
at arthritis, am I right?
So the producer is like, you know,
the silly stuff, producer's like,
what would your bond name be?
And she's like, a bond girl name is usually
like a foreign name, right?
Like, well, Marisol would definitely be
dry bony knee gaga.
Kiki is gonna be Sasha succulent,
because the name sounds like she suck,
she do suck.
And I like dick.
I like dick unless it's bald man.
Don't trust him.
I'm going to be Lisa Knoxstein, knocking him dead with one glance.
I don't think Lisa gets it.
Yeah, none of them really do.
They just stop this gag.
They don't even ask anybody.
He's the closest.
Nobody can do this.
No one knows.
Kiki came close with succulent, but Lisa being like Lisa Knoxine because I knock him dead,
that's not the sort of pun they're looking for.
Yeah.
So now they come on and shoot the lake.
ladies. And Marisol's like, oh, Adriana's torturing me. Stop it. It's not funny.
Like, oh, that girl is like the wicked witch of the West. Like, you start spraying her and then she
starts melting. Okay, you guys, you guys are running out of references here.
The wrap it up. Wrap it up. NBC is so happy. NBCU is like, thank you so much for leaning
into the corporate synergy. Wicked you will be out this fall in theaters. Also, I like that when they
were, like, shooting them with the water guns.
Larson was like, ah, ah, ah, and she had like a cocktail.
And she just threw it in their face.
Get back, get back.
I'm like, Larson, you know, they're not real terrorists, right?
This is water guns.
And you're in a bathing suit and just got out of the water.
She's like, water.
No, like, stop, stop.
So then Marisol sprays Adriana for revenge, but Adriana doesn't care.
She just catches it in her mouth and stuff.
And Marisol's like, oh, my God, this is only funny from some people.
She goes, oh, yeah, because you have a vendetta against me.
So whatever I do is never funny to you.
Drive me.
And Kiki's like, oh, my God, guys, can we just get some drinks?
So then they asked what happened to Stephanie.
She went to Canada.
And Lisa's like, what a dream.
I would have chose Canada, too.
Oh, God.
Better than this.
Bullshit.
So now they take a shade break.
And Julia is like, oh, so out of curiosity, oh, Adriana,
why the other night did you not go back with me and you stay behind with Gertie?
Because you're an asshole.
Like, why can nobody just answer this properly?
Julia, because you're a terrible friend and you're an asshole and you deserve no loyalty.
Because you ditch Adriana and she's feeling salty.
So she goes, because someone needs to mediate the, and Julia's like,
but what Gerti did was wrong.
she's like it was wrong i am not condoning it but who is going to back who's going to be back
to bring some kind of sense i love adriana like positioning herself as voice of reason in any
situation yeah if not me who's going to have any sense in this situation and she's like but then
why do you have to have her back gertie can have her own back and she goes oh then why did you
talk to alexie and mary soul when they called me a liar in new york and she goes because you
are friends for a year because you are friends for years and she's like uh but you sat there
and you did nothing.
And she goes, but you were friends for years.
I need to listen to the point of view.
Well, that's what I did, babe.
That's all I did, babe.
Which is a good point.
You can't use that argument against her
when you did the exact same thing.
Yeah, exactly.
So Julia's like,
can't he plan this whole event,
happyverted and deranged?
And it's like surrogates.
So Adriana is like,
to me putting receipts on a wall
is more benign than throwing a glass.
of water in somebody's face, but God forbid, Julie gets called out about anything. And I think that
she's right about that. I think the water was worse than the receipts. I mean, the receipts was definitely
like a public shaming moment, but the water was still water. I just don't see the receipts. I mean,
the receipts didn't even say anything. And I'm glad somebody finally says, like, it's not like she
showed a dick. It's not like she put a blowjob pick. Like, what do you guys even mad about? And then
we find out that nobody even read it. So, well, I guess we'll get there. So Gertie shows up. It was a trap.
It was a trap that was meant to publicly humiliate, even if it didn't execute on that front.
So, like, I do think it was shitty of Gertie, but I think that Julia doing that to Gertie at the wedding was way more humiliating.
So Gertie shows up and Julia starts giving her evil looks, you know, that she gives.
And she's like, Garty is here. I'm so happy.
She's so, and the producer's like, well, at least you're not a liar.
So, Lisa, they have dinner and it's really tense.
Everybody's sitting around together and it's like really tense.
And Lisa's like, oh, come out.
We're on a yacht.
Like, lighten up.
Okay, let's do something.
Guys, we should do an exercise.
We should go around and say positive things we like about each other.
Okay.
Now, Adriana and Marisol, you guys start.
Okay, well, I like her fashion sense.
And I like, she's loyal to Alexia.
And I like that if I was lotion, I would have something to do on her knees.
because Lussia
needs to be needed
Marisol's like
well let me think here
well
she did a really good job
bringing that bucket of blood
no that was me
no let's see
well you know what
it's cool that she can play the piano
I wish I could play the piano
so that's that's nice
so she can play piano a little bit
and yeah I think that's about it
I think that's bad as far as I can get.
Well, it's okay. You can't play piano, but you were still always tinkling, so.
See, she can't help herself.
All right.
Well, that's nice.
Let's do Gertie and Julia.
You guys go.
So Gertie's like, okay, okay, I'm going to talk like this because I'm going to be the quietest I can be.
So nobody can call me loud, okay?
So I would like to say, Julia, you have a compassionate heart, and it shows in everything you do from embracing two new children in your life.
and giving them an amazing future.
And that's all I have to say.
Very wonderful.
So good for you.
Well, okay.
Well, you know how to throw fabulous parties.
But I also appreciate how you honestly share your emotions.
And I cannot hide my emotions, okay?
Because I am, I guess you could say, not fake person who throws parties to shame beautiful Russian.
Okay, because I am like the worst actress in the world, which, by the way, come see me in the upper.
And singer.
and singer as well.
See, that's not nice, not nice.
And I thought after we see each other that we had conversation,
we would move forward like goat in farm, going to feeding station,
but that we shared the same desire to do that, and barely not.
But then you go to the party,
and then you ask Daniel that question in front of everybody to make me look bad.
She's like, but I only asked Daniel the question because he was there to help.
She goes, oh, but it was a perspective you had that I took a different way,
and I just felt I had to react in such a man.
that may or may not have been amicable to you.
Okay.
Was that calm enough?
Okay.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Star has a question.
Okay.
I have a question for you.
This one is from Peter, who says,
I am an artist and he says, like, why did you do that at your event?
Nobody here thinks that what you did was okay.
And if Frankie were there, you would have done in front of Frankie,
which is the worst thing of all.
So nobody liked it.
Okay.
Well, I'm not here to take accountability.
accountability and counsel from somebody with such dry hair so tell peter thank you but no well no
you know what that was really mean that was really mean you know what we're not okay anymore
we're not okay but also how is this affecting you that's my question i'm not i'm not saying sorry for it
so i don't know how it affected you and she's like what the hell with these people she's like they
may it reminds me of being a kid when they would make fun of my name and i was isolated to an
area where the kids who couldn't speak english went and you know being um
othered basically by these ladies brings me back to that, you know.
So Gertie is saying, like, I'm, I'm not interested in kissing ass.
I'm a lonely lioness, not a following sheep.
Oh, hello, hello, I'm the lion here, okay?
Okay, woof, wuff, lion here.
Woof, woof, waff, lion in the room.
You're not a lion.
Whether it was a reaction to what I felt was a betrayal.
And Alexei's like, well, that's the only thing.
She goes, well, who do I know an apology to?
Because I did it and that's what it is.
So you walked out like it was a dick pick.
It was like, oh, my God, like a dick pick.
Oh, no.
And she goes, well, I would rather a dick pick because I go see a dick.
That would be good.
That would be a good picture.
I'd be like, hey, you know what?
That was a good party.
I had to see a dick.
Grady's like, this is not healthy.
I haven't had a chance for all of these months leading up to me being back in the group to express myself.
Oh, Gernie, you included all of us.
And when you did it in front of all of us, I mean, come on.
You know, I love cockies.
So at least give me a dick pick.
Did we move past the dick pick segment already?
Yeah, well, she also assaulted me,
and she screeched at me at the top of her lungs at your wedding,
and you didn't even care.
And Adriana is just, like,
is trying to figure out how to get wine open.
She's like, somebody could open this wine, maybe,
because I don't know.
It's not open.
Do you think if I just rub it up against Marisol's dry, bony knees,
the top will just come off?
And Julie is mad that she's not defending her.
And Gertie's like,
I mean, I understand your friendship with her, and it's remarkable that you, you know,
you run deep with her. It's fine. You know what? You won't listen to me and my side of the story.
So forget it. Now, Gertie, it's not like that. We're very fair.
She was, oh, really? Did you read the text message? Did you read it?
And Marisol's like, no, of course not. She goes, okay, well, there you go.
So then they ask Kiki. And she's like, no, I still have no idea what that was about.
Like, why would I read that? And Lars is like, that was like 500 messages. It's like too long.
no it's like so long like
none of them read it. The producers have
like printed it out and like
laminated it for them to look at
and they're like this is a lot like
this is too much like it's a lot
babes a lot of babes in here
a lot of babes yeah a lot of babes in here
babe babe babe babe babe babe babe not enough
Lenny
I don't know why this doesn't say anything
this is the problem with them none of them
even fucking read it and that's I knew it
because when we when we did that recap
last week or two weeks ago whenever it was and I was reading we got a transcript of them and I was like
there's literally nothing bad in here there's nothing to be mad about in this whole thing and
they just all assumed it was some terrible thing so none of them read it so now they're all
trying to read it and Lars is like yeah but well first we see Kiki go like I don't see anything
that says like bitch or anything like that so I don't know why it's so bad
And Lars was like, yeah.
But like, I didn't feel like these text messages, like, should be released to strangers
because, like, I know, like, both parties.
Okay.
And I don't care.
I know them both and I don't care.
So don't show them to strangers.
So Marisol's like, well, that was, that was like sabotage, like a booby trap.
It was like you were standing under a bucket of blood and someone pulled the rope.
You know what I'm saying, Carrie?
once we get scary movie scary you can't spell scary without carry am i right and that's really
nasty that's calculated yeah we're all trying to be friends and support each other and like love
each other oh and how is that that deterring from anything oh because like the way you did it like
doesn't feel like you care about any of us okay because you could do the same thing to me gertie
you could like actually send my text messages out to the public oh yeah well she could throw
water at you too and mary still said well that was never cool we never said that was cool we just
didn't storm out and you know we kind of loved it secretly because we'd been and we met you the whole
season already. So, look, we never said it was cool. We just sat there quietly and never
reprimanded Julia for her and never sat her down and told her, like, you have to make
things right. But like, we never said it was cool. So Gertie's like, Julia, the question is,
do you want to have a private conversation? Because if you need time to move forward, then move
forward. We can deliberate more later. She goes, absolutely. It should be conversation private.
Because the feelings are too raw. We should give it time and then become conversational like
adults trying to move forward. I will wait until we are in a group setting again and then
this you in front of everybody like adults do. She's a ghost absolutely fine. Yes, that sounds
wonderful. Yes, thank you. So now it's the next morning. Everyone is waking up in their very
small rooms and people are, Adriana's like hungover. Adriana is pretending like she doesn't remember
anything that happened yesterday. And then Larsa and Marisol and Alexi are sitting together outside.
And Lars, it's like, hey guys, should I call Stephanie like?
Yeah, call her up.
Let's see what that hooker is doing up in Montreal.
So they call Stephanie and she's like, I bet the weather is delicious in Canada.
Nice, cool weather.
Oh, God, I don't really have a lot of Canada material.
You girls are going to have to help me out a little bit.
Cackies.
We're like having fun like those.
So like, it's like fun like.
She goes, well, hold on.
Where's the Rottweiler?
Did she bark?
And Marissa goes, oh, that's you, Alexia.
She goes, you know what?
Fuck you, Stephanie.
Fuck you for calling me a Rottweiler when I'm like a penguin lion.
So like, fuck off.
She's like, wait, you told me yesterday I was a Chihuahua and you were a Rottweiler.
I'm making a joke about that.
She goes, oh, no, that's not nice.
I have a name.
My name is Alexia.
Okay, it's not Rottweiler.
Yeah.
She's like, it's way too early in the morning for Lexia to be this upset.
I'm like, this is, I feel like Alexia's morning upset.
Like, she'd be angry in the afternoon.
This is just her, this is her light.
This is her half asleep upset.
So she's, Alexis, like, okay, it was a joke.
okay and because i'm gonna answer the phone with kiki oh wow it was a joke she's like well i was
she's like i was joking too she's like well and we had a late night clearly can you see she's
really upset so stephanie's like she called herself a rottweiler i was just going with it she goes
oh oh super funny stephanie super funny okay that was really funny and lars is like we need like
we need like coffee like so alex they hang up on her and alexie is like okay what the
what the fuck was that then and lars was like i don't even know like what she was talking about
I was like, who's a Rottweiler?
What?
Like, I don't...
How much money does he have?
Was it in a text?
Because I'm not reading it.
I don't know what a Rottweiler is.
So, Alexia's like, don't fuck with me.
Okay, because we say that playful and she knows it.
And now she's going to call me a Rottweiler.
No, fuck you.
You can't call me a Rottweiler.
Aren't you happy?
Aren't you happy?
Aren't you in fucking Montreal in your jet with your perfect husband,
close to Celine Dion and your perfect life?
Why the fuck do you need to have to be so mean?
I think this is where we really see what Alexia's problem is.
with Stephanie. Aren't you happy in your fucking Montreal with your jet and your perfect husband
in your perfect life? Yeah, that's, I think that I will say right there. It that a hundred
percent does. I do think though that when Stephanie said, where's the Rottweiler? I don't think she
thought Alexia was right there. I think she was like, that bitch, where's that bitch? She's like
making a jokey allusion to that. And I think Alexa clocked it. I was like, oh, you're not saying it in a
fun playful way anymore. She's like, fuck you. So like, as much as it's like, well, we had a joke,
I think she would say it if it was in front of Alexia's face.
She'd be like, how's it going, Rottweiler?
Because that's how Stephanie would say it like that.
But I think that I think there was a subtlety.
I think Stephanie got caught.
And then she pivoted it.
She's like, what is her joke?
I was like, I think Stephanie got caught a little bit.
And you know what?
I enjoyed it.
Yeah, I mean, I think Stephanie's okay because she made a, she made a reference to what the last thing she had on the bow, which was a Rottweiler fight.
So she was like, so how's the Rottweiler?
Oh my God.
How dare you?
How dare you?
There you.
I don't know.
I just see Alexia being ridiculous.
But you know what?
She makes me laugh, so I don't really care.
You know what?
I love it.
Yeah, it's so fun.
Great episode.
Thanks everyone for being here tomorrow.
We've got some Orange County.
I think you're going to want to watch.
So we'll see on the next one.
Bye everybody.
Bye.
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