Watch What Crappens - #2956 Below Deck S12E10: Stillie the Boulder Holder

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Below Deck sent the insane drunk Lady home, unfortunately, but don’t worry! There is still plenty of mess and two very large boobs that need holding. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Searching for a romantic summer getaway. Escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new audible original from Lily Chew. The exquisitely talented Philippa Sue, returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chew title. This time, Philippa is joined by her real-life husband, Stephen Pasqual, set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, aka the Hamptons of Canada. Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie.

a down-on-her-luck event planner, posing as a socialite's long-lost daughter, while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family, and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer, now on Audible.

Go to audible.com slash rich girl summer. Travis fell in love with the perfect woman. Beautiful, understanding, available 24-7. There was just one catch. She wasn't human. Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad-free right now on Wondry Plus. Well, watch what happens. Well, hello, you know what happens when there's so much with crappens. Well, hello, you little darlings. Welcome to Watch with crappins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there's been over there. Hi, Ben. Ronnie. How are you? Good. I'm still Stai. I'm still burdened with my sin stye. So I've got that today. So I've got glasses on. But otherwise good. We just did Jeff Lewis over on Sirius XM. That was a rollicking good time. It was. Yeah. So just got home from that. And what else? You know what? Getting ready to do a little below deck. We had an Amazon live last night, which was super fun. Our next one is going to be Monday, August. What I say yesterday? What's for?

I will tell you, 18th. So it'll be Monday, August 18th at 4 p.m. Over on Amazon Live, you can always get the links day of on our Instagram. So that was great. Also, next week will be Crappy Hour. This coming Monday will be crappy hour. So that's super fun. If you want these recaps on videos instead of just audio, get them.

Okay? Go over to Patreon. Crappins. Patreon is where you get Crappins on-demand episodes and our bonus episodes. Also, this is Dwell Hello Week over on Wendry Plus. So if you like House Hunters Recaps, we've got a killer one coming for you about a cougar in Sacramento, moving in with a very young man, very young, poorly quaffed male. A very young, but extremely articulate and precocious 22-year-old with a lot of insights and definitely understands how to do things like, I don't know, opening up medicine cabinets. Guys, I don't know a lot, but I know this.

That guy's going to go on places. And we're going to talk about it on this MMA fighter. We're going to talk about it on this week's dwell. Hello. All right. Let's get into her. How'd you feel about below dick, boom? I felt good about it.

It was, you know, another episode. How did you feel? I was sad they got rid of drunk Kelly. We needed Kelly for this episode. Although Kelly was replaced in this episode by her insane friend, not Helen. Barbara was it what was her what was Helen Helen was the primary so it was one who was like all boobelicious yeah what what we do that's what we do okay I gotta get on my boobs

got I get my boobs out I got my boobs out you know I don't remember the up there's another lady there who I loved and she was the one who's like my daughter knocked my Louis Vuitton into the into the toilet and I said you know what when I die you're waiting for a bag that's the one they're going to get. I loved her. Covered in piss. Cuffin' piss. Yeah, I'm going to get the piss bag because you knocked it over. You got to pay attention when you're around my expensive bags. Knocked it into the toilet. I think I get them confused. Do they look exactly the same?

They do. They do. They both have like black, long black hair. They both, they went in hard for the Kardashian look a few years ago and they're still in it. And one has bigger lips than the other, but one has bigger boobs than the other. So one's boobs, one's lips. Okay. Well, you know, God bless him. God bless him. So here we go. Kerry is kicking Kelly off, the drunk Kelly. So he's like, someone needs to go with Kelly, take her ashore. And I was like, I'll go with her as long as I could come back. All I ask is that I get to come back on the ship. Please, let me come back on the ship. All right. And Kelly's like, where's my bag? Do you Democrats take my bag again?

And they're like, you know, this is the same thing. Liberals taking bags. That's what they do all the time. Yeah, Democrat. What are you doing with my bag? Kamala terrorists probably took my back somewhere. I'm not standing for this. Look, all of you.

All right. All right. I'm going to go with you, Kelly. Okay, it's on your shoulder. The bag's on your shoulder, Kelly. Okay? I'm going to go with you. And Kelly is walking out in her bikini.

You know, it's not dripping out of her face. And Barbara's like, oh, my God, she's going without trust her. I think she needs, she needs a short. She needs a short. Please, somebody help her. And sure enough, Kelly splats right into the boat, right on her, right on her hoo-ha bone. Yeah. And she keeps saying, I just want to go on the banana bone.

I mean, that's not all I want to do. I mean, so like, why? So you can't, what, this is America or allows it going to go on a banana or a boat if we want to go on a ban or a boat. He's a pussy. He's a pussy. He's a pussy. He's a pussy. This is America.

I can't go on a banana bowl. It's becoming a banana republic. Pussy, you're a pussy captain. So she's screaming pussy at the captain from the little boat. And even when they get her ashore, they show her on the shore. She's like, pussy. The guy's a goddamn pussy is what he is. Do we ever find out, was there any articles come out saying what happened to Kelly after this, after this, this incident?

Did she get arrested in St. Martin? Well, she's in some French prison. and making cheese. Yeah. That's what they do there, you know. That's where 95% of Brie actually comes from French prisoners. Yeah. It's their license plate. They make cheese license plates.

Yeah. Yeah. Literally, like, if you go to France, they don't have license plates. They just have wheels of Brie with numbers scratched into them. That's a maintain a very cold temperature in that country. So, Kerry's like, all right. She's gone to shore and she'll be fine. So we're going to pick up the primary tomorrow.

Well, thank you for everyone's help. Thank you. Thank you for all the hiding you did and not dealing with Kelly. I appreciate it. Thank you for no one helping me keep the door closed. I did. All right, you did. Thank you.

You helped me in prison a Republican. Thank you. Thank you for your service. You know, it went from zero to 1,000 in a moment. I mean, well, maybe several moments. You know, let me rephrase that. It went from zero to a thousand after the 15th drink that we said. served her and i've never seen someone all right all right kelly you're off the boat you can go to jail

you can go to jails a dutch jail and a french jail because you can see matt and fuck you cheese you wheel of cheese you just you got more more aggressive she was as scary as that bridge that we're about to crash into 15 more times this season lugging her lugging her lugged screaming Fuck you got me pussy So he's like

Wait Put everyone's safety at risk It had to be John And that's me Life sometimes Is not An adventure So he got rid of her

And then we go to Brian He's like I'm so sorry That you had to deal With that crap captain That is some bullshit That girl is trash Okay

Well you know It's all a day's work mate no big deal over here just well someone put a big pause on fun that's what happened big pause on fun night thanks a lot kelly you trashy slut well don't you worry because you've got the rest of your charter to enjoy yourself so get to it oh and then rainbow you know a lot of people stick up for rainbow in the comments i don't think rainbow's an evil person but i do see why so many people get annoyed with rainbow because she just has this way of talking to people so she goes to Barbara who's working you know she's like Barbara are you good with staying on service

you good with that it's just such an intense the faking niceness that just rubs people the wrong way you know me yeah there was me the wrong way Barbara's like you're some fine please yeah please don't talk to me while I roll towel this towel I'm rolling has more personality than you please please Barbara's like I don't know if you saw but this is my sad episode so I should not be talking to many people. Okay. So Frank is the, I think he's Helen's husband and he's missing some jewelry. And Barbara's like, oh, really? It was, it was with you, the big black one. And Fras is like, Frankie, I found something for you. And they, I guess they find this. McClick. It was just, it was in his shirt the whole time. He was wearing it.

Fraser just like reaches down. He's like, either this is an enormous hard nipple or it's your jewelry. He's like, ha, you got it, kid. You got it. This kid's got it. Whoppa! He keeps doing that. He's doing like a little... Yeah, butchie.

To be honest, at this stage, my excitement for this chart has completely gone out the window. I'm going to start calling it my boyfriend. We're going to try and put everything we've just gone through behind us and bring the fun and joy back to this trip because when people see me, Fraser,

they think, Fun and Joy. He's the man who'll bring it. So there might be a slight amount hope that this will increase our tip. The hope is the very, very small, much like the love I had for my boyfriend. So now Kyle is talking about how he's usually the drunk one. He's like, is that what I look like? Fuck, is that what I look like when I'm all drunk? Jesus, that's the kind of tantrum I have. You know, Lee, deckhand gets my girl. Fucking mate gets my girl. You know,

just all the tantrums. And Jess, uh, who stole his girl and Demo, who stole his girl, try to comfort him but it's not really working yeah i i'm gonna need kyle to like wrap up his moping because i really i don't know if i have the bandwidth to take on someone

feeling so sad about a hookup like you you guys weren't even together you guys had like you made out in a hot tub like let's not act like this is a 10 year romance that came to a conclusion this is not kramer versus kramer this is just it's just so lane so i just don't want to see any more of it also it's it's kyle who has no standards so

Kyle will like fuck a doorknob you know he doesn't care yeah he's like he will fuck a you know squirrel on this like he doesn't care he's just one of those he's probably took a goat to prom you know he's just one of those guys as we learn later in the episode he will fuck anything he doesn't have any standards so i don't know i can't really listen to him like cry like it's the great love of his life you know you could literally just walk down the street and pick anyone and it would be fine for you so just be quiet it's like me missing a meal you know i've i have so many meals like it's okay it's okay no one wants to hear me complain about missing one tuna sandwich there are other fish in the sea and we all know kyle will

actually make out with the fish so like let's just let's just like nip this in the bud okay also maybe like i don't know maybe kyle could like be less of like a dirt bag like we all like Kyle, but he's also like, are people genuinely excited to bring Kyle around to be like, hey, look at this guy I'm dating, is this guy? And it winds up being Kyle. Like, maybe there's a reason why people maybe visit with the lips and then move on because it's, oh, do they have sex? They had sex, didn't they? Uh, they had sex and kissed. Or what did they have sex? No, I think you're right. Maybe they did have sex. Either way. It's just kind of like, than sex. I'm not keeping count.

I just feel like, Kyle, there's a certain amount of, like, you know, why don't you be more of an aspirational hookup for someone rather than the, rather than the Roy Rogers, they visit on the way to another city. Road trip. The Roy Rogers. It's a mixed metaphor. Okay, I'm mixing a lot of metaphors here, but I think we all get what I'm trying to say. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Well, yeah, that guy is, I don't feel bad for him either, but I do. I mean, I do kind of like it, but shut up. So I like him, but I'm, yeah, I like him, but shut up. It's over. We don't want to deal with it anymore on the show. Yeah, so Celine is like, oh, maybe I can think baby Blake. You know, I never think baby Blake here. Maybe I could think baby Blake here. She's just like kind of looking out over the swim platform and she's waving at Jess. And Jess is like, um, uh, not Jess. Rainbow's like, oh, hi, babe. When you're, done out here. Do you mind just checking dayheads and then helping Barbara with service? She goes, okay, I do dayheads now, which becomes a huge problem for Rainbow Later. Absolutely. So then the guests are talking and, you know, they're talking to Barbara at the bar and they're just like talking about just, you know, Kelly being a total disaster and everything. And so Brian is like, well, that's Frankie's girl. That's not my girl. And Frank is like, I mean, do you, what, you think I date girls like that?

And he's like, well, absolutely not. It's like, I mean, years ago. I mean, I'm not with her anymore. It's like, he's brand's like, nah, dude, I don't date train wrecks. Sorry. I love Frank. Like, you think I date girls like that? Have you seen Helen?

She's the epitomea class. Look at her out here. So people are getting ready for dinner. Ellen's like bumping out Wayne Newton songs on the, on the back. Then, you know, when you go to St. Martin, you go there for one thing, which is to have a cowboy party. I mean, when you think of the Caribbean, what do you think about? Horses, lassoes, cowboys. Mob wives, ladies in, you know, frills.

So, Fraser is announcing to everybody that they've all got cowboy outfits. And he's like, oh, God, this is a crop top. What man is going to put on the crop top? So, Celine, they're going over picnics and stuff. And no, they're going over the outfits. And Celine's like, well, look, this dress looks like picnic table. I'm no picnic table. Why it look like picnic table, you know?

And, you know, Demo actually is embracing the crop top life, et cetera. And then Hugo's putting out, whatever, they're just putting on these costumes and making jokes. And then Fras is like, tonight's theme is cowboy night. I went to a rodeo once. It was basically cows, fat men, and barbecues. And that's when I learned how to crack a whip. So, yeah. I don't know.

Fraser is sort of annoying me. He's just not fun. He's not funny. His interviews are so funny. And he's just, he's trying too hard. And he's like a robot. I need a recast. I agree.

I never, like, I love that there is a gay man as a chief stew. But I feel like his little interview quips feel either rehearsed or scripted. And the way he sort of like leans in when he says them, I don't know. They're like, they're giving me groan more than anything else. I just, I just want him to be better. And also that's really not what a rodeo is, sir. So be quiet. Yeah, you don't crack a way out of rodeos.

That's how lame you are. You're making me stand up for rodeos right now. Okay. Rodeos are more than cows and fat people and barbecue. So Celine is like, there's also cowpoles. poop poop smell. There's clowns. There's clowns. Okay. So, uh, Fraser is, you know, being hilarious. And Celine is like, oh no, this is not a boy. I look like posthewit cowboy. And it's like your tit. Your tits are unprofessional. Look at those things. And she's like,

oh, I'm the car who give milk to cowboy. So Damo says there's only three things that are important to me. And that's my, oh, he goes, there's only three things. that are important to me and it's my god my truck and my lady in that order he does it in uh in like a southern accent which is so everyone that's congratulations that's what we are exporting to the world this is he's like i'm going to say something that's typically american that's like that's i guess us god's going to my baby so jess is trying to be nice to barbara but barbara's just ignoring her and she's like barbara and i you know we have my personal stuff here but you know you don't need to watch it barbara so i'll just

take it out of my cabin if you don't want to wash it you don't have to and barbba's like ignore ignore talk to the curly hair talk to the curly hair i have nothing to say to you the bangs are closed so jess is like you can hear a fucking feather drop right now um it's so awkward between papa and i and barb's like it's not nice you know like we don't joke with feelings like we don't joke with people period don't involve people in your shit and jess is like i don't know it's so weird i come from my family oh wait hold on instagram wall I come from a family that like we don't give a shit we don't speak about our feelings but we do speak and you know what I mean like even if we're upset with another we just kind of get on with it

I'm like but you're not making out with your family you're not fucking your family at least I don't think maybe you're no you never know you never know I know so Barbara's over it she's like whatever I'm done with her so then Anthony's making dinner which really isn't that important to say except guys I really love slow motion onions being chopped it's just so sexy the way they decide to use a depth of field on those close-ups

of him chopping really elevates the whole show and they really add in that sound effect of the onion being chopped slowly it's like you know what's actually funny is that like whenever they do that whenever they do this like slow motion onion being chopped

it just kind of looks like the promo that plays on like a TV screen in a hotel room when you check in. They're like, and downstairs, eat at Del Frisco, Monaco, our award-winning steakhouse. They always show like a slow-motion chef

and then like a fire raging. That's just what they're doing on this show. The best chicken nugget and a best western this side of the Mississippi. And then it cuts to some ladies with martini's. And then if you want an adventurous night out, go to Blanis, our martini bar located on our rooftop, which was recently exterminated all the pigeons.

Yeah, it's all classy. And then you go down to the pool and it's like, what do you mean, need a bathroom? Just piss in the pool, Donnie. Just piss in the pool. We got that time for this. Like, wait a minute. Where's DeMani's steakhouse? Yeah.

Yeah. People change in their diapers on a pool chair. Unfortunately, our kitchen is closed, but it's 830. Yeah, yeah, it's closed Oh yeah, that rooftop bar We've been remodeling that for about a year Oh, you're staying on the 10th floor Yeah, you'll be hearing that

Unfortunately, we discovered A whole bunch of raw spasus Really all over that rooftop So we're just gonna By the way, just leave this card on the door If you don't want us to clean your room Because you know, we're trying to conserve water Oh, really? Really?

Changed my fucking seats. How about that? Fucking best way. What is this the best Western or the mediocre Western? Well, unfortunately, our best Western sign did burn down. So if you, we do apologize for the inconvenience. Oh, and another thing is we recently learned that the club next door is undergoing endless construction, but not during operating hours. So that means there'll be construction during the day and at night the club music will happen all night.

Okay, here's some tiny, we've given you some tiny earplugs and a white noise machine that's supposed to do something. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. Imagine falling in love with someone who understands you completely. Who's there at 3 a.m. when you can't sleep. Who never judges, never tires, never leaves. That's what happened to Travis when he met Lily Rose. She was everything he'd ever wanted.

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She goes, then why don't talk to me? Why don't you get to work? She's like, Mom, my work is. to find guests. I will find guests. Maybe I find guests now. So, and she's like, but you'll never find the gas here. She's like, no, I was taking towel in the laundry. She's like, okay, but you need to go to work. Otherwise, I'm going to get you in trouble. Oh, what? What is your trouble? Barbara hits me. Oh, because I'm an asshole. Oh, it wasn't very nice. You know, because she didn't like that we kissed. And I said,

I liked her. But then five minutes later, I'm with you. And then I'm in bed with you. So now Salian's like, uh, wait, so you like, wait, so you like, Barbara? What the hell? What she already knows? I love that she's acting like she has no idea. Like she didn't just sit there and watch with a little dirty look on her face or an upset look on her face last week at the pool when she was canuding with Barbara and talking to her and kissing her and stuff like that, which is why she ended up making her move later and boning her. So we all know your move, Salane. Okay. So Salane's like, well, you can like Barbara too. What do I care? You can look at Bob her too. I don't care.

She's like, well, obviously, she's not the type of person to, you know, go for somebody, but then that person is going for somebody else after they say they like you. So she goes, oh, but what is your situation with me? You call me situation. Why you call me situation? I want to understand. And she's like, well, it wasn't right. I hurt her feelings, you know.

And now she won't speak to me. And I fucked everything up. Oh, no. What have I done? Oh, but I really do not know about the situation. Like you like Barbara, now I know, like you can go You better sleeping in your own bed. I do not want to be a situation.

Salane, you literally, like, you were born a situation, okay? Like, why is Saline shocked that she's a situation? She's made out with the entire boat and the entire island, practically, at this point. And I'm not even slut-shaming. I say, go for it. But then don't be surprised when people are like, yeah, I'm in a weird situation where I'm hooking up with this person who's fun to hook up with. Like, you know, don't be surprised that you're a situation.

but it's the attention she needs the attention from every single living person around her you know and then the second they give her enough and she's hooked them then she dumps them like kind of stilly you know and then she needs attention so she'll start fucking around in front of stilly to kind of like lead him on and then i don't know she and then but the thing that surprised me is that she got upset and she's like well i don't know how it's possible they're just like someone else you know if she decided to stop with me i feel like a fail voila i just don't know she hurt me did she hurt me she hurt me i don't know and she's crying like what the fuck you're the biggest gamer here i can't but she's like i didn't hook one you know i failed if you don't know

that says it all i failed like she likes someone else i'm a fear yes i'm getting kicked off love island all over again yeah if you don't know if you've been hurt chances are you probably have not been So they anchor and they're going to start plating. And Anthony is saying, after the villa, it's a fresh start because I see now, I feel really better. You know, now I can cook hot dogs alone and not be mad about it. I'm just so happy. What I love I do every day, like, oh, can we have Instagram more, please? I'm going to have a personal moment.

Okay, there it is. And here we go. Cooking is my purpose, for sure, because I have very bad dyslexia. So I almost got kicked out of school But like I can't focus on one thing The one thing I'm focused on is when I cook So I feel like Connery School saved my life from dyslexia And every time I cook for people

I'm wondering am I cooking for people Or my cooking people? Dyslexia I just don't feel like it's a job, it's a passion The way they're trying this in It is Nisiap, it is Nisiap Oh, did you mean passion? Dyslexic, please, I'm trying not to break down right now

Okay, smart. The way they are like tenuously drawing this together, like, oh, I feel so much better after I talked with Fraser because I was, I am dyslexic and I had a hard time in school and cooking saved my life because I had a hard time and I found something where dyslexia was not going to interfere. And so it's happy. I'm happy now that everything is okay because now I can go back to the thing that I love. I mean, come on. This is too much. It's like you just threw a straw hat and yelled at some people. You don't need a full dyslexia monologue. We don't need to hear like the. Yeah, we don't need to hear like the fine subtext about how dyslexia informed your tantrum right now. Like, it's fine. You're dyslexic. It's okay. Like, it's, we'll move on. This isn't your defense for the death penalty.

You know, he's like, oh, but my childhood, it was so hard. And then I found culinary school, we saved me, saved me from reading, you know. Listen, Anthony, it's a parking ticket. You can just pay the fine and go home. Anthony, I'm not discredding your dyslexia, you know, like that's a, a real thing, but we all know if you're a real chef, culinary school, cooking would have saved you from drugs and living on the street, not dyslexia. So you kind of just like showed your ass there. Okay, be more hardcore. So Rainbow's like, um, Fraser, can I please see you? It's about

so lame because today I was cleaning and doing, and, you know, cleaning up deck. And she was just standing there doing nothing on the app deck, just staring off. And I was like, hey, babe. Mind checking the day, hence? And he's like, and what did she say? What was the response? She said, hold on. Okay, sure. Well, I guess that's a better response than we've had in the past.

I'm just going to keep a closer eye on her without actually reprimanding her or telling her she has to do her job better or tell her to respect you. I'll just say that I'm going to keep a closer eye on her so that way you get out of my personal space and I can go back to doing things. coming up with my next quip for my interview. Have you ever been to a rodeo? What do they like exactly? What do they do there? Something about fat men. I just want to say fat men.

What else happens there? Are there actually roads in a rodeo? Or does it happen in a different sort of space? So Rainbow really thinks she did something there. She's like, since the villa, the dynamic between Barbara Solane and I has not changed. And it's the point where everybody's on the outs and it's like sad. but it is refreshing to be like, okay, guys, we're all like

outside now. We all get it, right? We all get it. You saw somebody standing there, you asked them to do work, they said, okay, move along now, ma'am. I don't know what you think you're getting. This is very liberating for her. She's like, wait, we are finally at a place

where we all are not getting along, which makes me feel most at home because this is how it was before we went to the island in the middle of the lake in Holland where we all fought. Yeah, she's happiest when nobody's getting along. Like, it's not just her that people don't like. It's everybody.

That's the environment she knows best. So Fray's just like, yeah, we're going to do cabin. So everyone's changing for the cowboy, cowboy dinner. And they're saying how they really just don't want. One guy, Richard's like, well, I don't even want Kelly to come on this trip. And yeah, and they're like, yeah, I don't want them either. And they're like, it's bumped. They're bummed because Helen basically has to spend the night.

You know, she has to spend. Could you think of something more, more insulting and terrible than having to spend the night on a beautiful Caribbean island alone instead of being on a yacht? Well, with Kelly, though, that's the problem. She has to keep that wreck going. So Brian calls Helen. And she's like, hey, it's me, Helid. I just want a promise. A promise I could return.

And he's like, what's up? You know what? This is stupid and it's not your fault. It's not anyone else's fault, but that trash, Kelly. You tell your crazy-ass white trash slut. friends. She doesn't need, she needs to go home. And you've got to come back here and enjoy your friends because one thing we are not going to have on this boat is Kelly. And you better tell her that. Brian's really, Brian's really ready to go. He's on one. Yeah. He really is. So now they're

going to do this cowboy thing and it's time for dinner. They all are gathering. Anthony serves a boulea bass, which is just what they would eat on the frontier. Super rodeo. Super rodeo. When I think rodeo, I'm like, get me that boolea base. Can we have some muscles? Maybe a delicate, I don't know, vichysoa. So someone asked Frank if he's got a girlfriend.

He's like, it's a long story. P'paw! Brand's like, well, you're allergic to girlfriends because they break out and cuss, right? Am I right? Like, hailing? And someone's like, God, it's just not the same without Helen. Is it, God, we miss Helen. Like, we're down to Frank's mistresses.

Like, that's what we're talking about now. Come on. She's missing this cowboy bullia base. Such a travesty. So Barbara is talking, sits down with Solane. And she's like, let me ask you something. Is everything okay between us? And she's like, yep.

Because I really feel like you're a bit upset about this. And she's like, well, I really like her, of course. As you could tell by the fact that I started making out with other. people and just today just she just told me like i like barbara and i was feeling bad about that and she's like well we we just made out you know uh at the carnival because that's what you do but it was just one little kiss you know and um i don't think she put me in a nice situation but it's not fair and you know i'm just everything's my fault and i just want to explain to because i just want to be friends with you so they make up basically and um barbara's like yeah i just

I just want to explain. And she's like, oh, thank you, Barbara. At least you explain. You explain. Now I understand. She goes, okay. Oh, my God. There's lipstick in the toilet.

Where is this woman putting her mouth? You see that there's lipstick, like, marks on the rim of the toilet. Like she was making out with the toilet lid. What the hell? There's also, like, lipstick, like, under the sofa. I think that she, like, sat on her lipstick and it got, like, on her thigh or her leg. And then it just smeared on everything she said. on because what a gross person lady operas i know it's disgusting i mean i'm i would i would be mortified

if i were her but we all know she's not mortified she's actually probably so proud she's like look at me that's being hilarious so um uh yeah so she's got she got it everywhere so anthony next up at the rodeo meal branzino with lemon caper sauce also not a rodeo meal Excuse, are they just pulling out the entire Wyatt Earp menu? I mean, come on, the authenticity is. This is so Yellowstone cookbook. Wait a second. Are we in St. Martin?

Are we in Tombstone? Because last time I checked, this is full-on cowboy food. Well, what are we in St. John Wayne? What are we in St. Martin, Scorsese, directing a genre picture about the Cowboys? a little bit of a stretch. I get it, but I was just trying to yes and, yes and in the film situation. Oh, situation. So Jennifer's like, oh, wow, very nice.

Might be the best brancino I ever tasted. As we talked about, Ben, you made a brandzino last night. Do you think you were inspired by this show? God, I hope not. But maybe I was. Maybe it, like, infected my brain. All I know is that yesterday, it was such a beautiful day here in Los Angeles. And I have been wanting to eat healthier, so I'm trying to eat more fish.

And I just decided I wanted to make a whole fish. So I went all the way over to the fish market, which meant I had to go to the grove, which is, I mean, this is dedication. But also there's like three. I was wondering where you got a Bramzino. I was like, I don't think you got that arouse. No, because Los Angeles, despite being a coastal city, has all of about like three fish markets at this entire metropolis. there's like one in Glendale there's like one in Santa Monica

and then there's a fish counter there's one downtown right oh yeah there's that too you don't want to go down there I mean right am I right Republicans disgusting I mean Democrat sorry I got I got drunk with my party

affiliation for Kelly so I had to go to the fish counter at the farmer's market in the grove because there was like a Monsieur Marcel and they have a fish counter so I went you know I'm not going to lie to you wrong I was originally going to go for red snaps.

But I decided to do a Branzino instead of small and it was cute. It was about a pound. I said, let's do it. Let's get this Branzino going. So I grilled her up and I deboned it. And it was delicious. But guess what? You never really can debone a Branzino because there are bones on bones on bones.

It's like this cast, lots of bone. Why are there so many bones in a Branzino? Listen, I started eating Branzino because of below deck because of Captain Sandy was always talking about fucking Branzino. Or at least we were always. He's talking about Brinzino as Captain San Diego. He actually only said it once, but it's fine. We ran with it. Yeah.

But, you know, I've ordered it a few times when I'm out and they have it. And every single time, there's a million bones in this thing. I don't care if they say they filet it for me. They do all the stuff and they're still full of bones. I don't get that fish. I don't get why it's so popular. I need less bones. I know.

I mean, it was delicious and it was so fun to cook and it like cooked perfectly. It was like, you know, I've never grilled a whole fish before. And I was like, your intestines are stabbed. next thing you know internal bleeding i mean here maybe that's why i'm so tired today because i'm like slowly leaching blood into my stomach but like you know i thought like for sure it was gonna be drama i was like this fish is this my first time grilling fish it's gonna stick to the grates we all know what's gonna happen it didn't stick it flipped over it looked beautiful and it tasted lovely too but and i followed i mean i when i tell you because you know me i watched so many deboning

videos and i watched all the technique i did it i was so fastidious i did everything i pulled out the fish head the spine came everything still fucking bones in that thing like big bones not just like little pin big bones you know why you know why you know why this is the problem those branzinos are too small i never realized how small branzinos are they're too small you need a fish that has more meat or bone ratio that's why i don't know but i've never understood that fish okay something else um not understood this time by the chef what lava cake is so um a dairy free cake comes out, which they're natural lava, they're naturally dairy free, but I think you meant the ice cream. And anyway, they cut into it. No lava came out. Okay. There was no lava. That was no lava. That's actually a big pet peeve of mine. Let's like I. Do you can't move a lava cake when there's no lava in there's like calling it a volcano when it's spouting out licorice. No. And he used to spout out lava. I do believe that in like a whimsical setting like Candyland of a licorish volcano does qualify as a dangerous that's it would literally lose their eyes but we didn't get burned to death but we did

get poked a lot by flog sticky things smell weird i detest a lava cake that does not do the lava thing because then what's even the point then you're just having like a generic piece of chocolate cake that tastes nice but there's like no point in it like it's like the most generic cake you could get but if it's lava like when the lava comes out it's special and delicious and gooey and like yeah that that should have been clocked you know who's really It was clocked by me. You know who's really perfected the lava cake? Domino's.

Domino's pizza. Yes. There's probably fake, right? I'm sure. It tastes like chemicals. It's like, yeah, it's like chemical lava cake.

But it's like a corn syrup on the inside. Yeah. Well, good for them. Hey, listen, a lot of things use corn syrup. I'm learning that because I'm on a pastry tour on YouTube right now, learning about Pop Tarts. And so that has led me to look at pie crust videos,

which has led me to look at pie videos because I'm like, Well, I could be a pie person. I could be like that lady from waitress, the film, you know, or just like make pies. That could be my thing. Or a waitress in general. Waitress. That's what it is.

Yeah. And maybe I'll be a pie person. You know, I'm searching for my new identity because I'm going through my midlife crisis. And corn syrup is in everything, I'm telling you. They put it in all these, these girls have no shame on the YouTube. They're like, man, then you put corn syrup. And that's how you make a limit. That's the only way to make a lemon meringue.

So fucking deal with it. or corn starch it's sort of funny but they do use a lot of corn syrup too it is kind of funny because i'm sort of in a in a semi-pie stage i i recently made some pie dough and like pie dough is like hard for me and um i got a new cookbook called fat and flour and there's like a technique called like the cold butter technique or whatever that i try it out and it's good the problem with pies i find is that i actually don't like a lot of pies because a lot of them are like they're berries, you know? So it's like, I like, I love an apple pie.

I like, like a lemon pie. I'm not like a cream pie. A banana pie, chocolate pie, pecan pie. Yeah, those are fun. That's a lot of corn syrup in the... Well, I love a pecan pie. Yeah. Love a pecan pie.

I just feel like in terms of like the fruity pies, which is what it feels like, also a nickname that I have for myself. But I think that, like, in terms of fruity pies... Hey, fruity pie. It's the summer, so you feels like you should have, like, some sort of, like, fresh fruity pies. pie but like I don't like a lot of fruity pies and it's like really sad for me got to figure it well speaking of lava cake um Jennifer says something that I really felt to my soul she's like

the best part of my day is when I take my bra off it's like yeah girl with you let them let him hang out me too yeah let them flap in the wind there okay I'm with yeah so uh rainbow is like it's late at now it's 1.13 in the morning. Rainbow tells Solane that she's going to send her to bed. She goes, it's not really, not. And Saline goes, oh, that is very nice. She goes, not really. It's just kind of my job to tell you that.

No, no, no. But I'm not saying that you are nice. I say it is nice to go to bed in general. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Go to bed. Bitch.

She calls her. She walks off. It's like, okay, now you're just looking for stuff because she's not even being mean to you this whole episode. you're just you're the one like running around tattletailing and now calling her a bit she didn't even do anything i mean there's other episodes she has but selain's just on a warpath now and i kind of like i mean not saline rainbow yeah i like that personally i like it like who like these people are not they're not doing their work they don't like you stop trying to be friends with them you don't have to be friends with

them just drop all the pretences and just be your natural self well that's what she's doing that's for darn darn be the dutch bitch that you are So then at 6 a.m. the next day, everybody's getting up, and at 8.15, Helen calls Carrie. And she's like, good morning, Captain. Carrie, this is Helen. First of all, I just wanted to say, thank you for the way you handled Kelly. You did it right, you know. I'm ready to resume my vacation. Please, I beg you. One last time, please let me back on the boat. Please. I'll do anything. I'll do anything. Do you get the feeling that Helen always says that anytime she answers the phone or calls someone? Hi, this is Helen.

Even though we're now in an age where we always see who's calling. She's like, hi, this is Helen. It's like, yes, we know Helen. It says your name on the phone. We have cell phones now. So he shoots her water taxi. And then he announces to the crew that she's coming back in 45. Well, we're waiting for the primary to come back, everybody.

And Anthony's like, oh, maybe for lunch. make it simple because tonight is eight course you know that is very lot that is very lot for me he's like just make sure they're going to be full please please now if anthony makes him an eight-course meal that's like um tea bone steaks and like onion rings and like roast chicken and things like that i'd be like okay there really is something to his dyslexia oh no i did the wrong one on the wrong night then it would make sense why it was what the food was the I am serving you no shellfish. That was the gay charter three charters ago.

It is not dyslexia. I cannot read catalog. I cannot read calendar. I'm sorry. It's calendar-based dyslexia. So, um, so... Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everybody.

No. Wrong. He's just blaming everything on dyslexia. It doesn't even matter. It's like, that has nothing to do with dyslexia. Only calendar-based dyslexia. You're just, you just didn't turn the page on your calendar.

It is odd. I turned the page backwards. I turned the page backward. Very, very jumble. You know, she always says, if I could turn back time, all she has to do is turn the calendar page a different direction. It works every time. Guys, look who's back. It's Helen.

So she hugs her husband. And she's like, that was so bad. You know what I think of in my second life? I'm going to become a nurse. And he's like, no, you're a therapist. She goes, well, what? I'm already a therapist. I mean, come on.

What am I? What do you think lingerie cells is? It's therapy. It's therapy. Helen. Helen, you can still be a nurse, by the way. She's like, you know what? If I ever die and come back to this earth in a mortal coil, I'll be a nurse then.

Like, you could do it. You can do it now, Helen. It's not too late. Paint your life. Just change it up. It's not like in another life I'll come back and be like an elite athlete where your window has closed. Like the nursing thing, do it, Helen. you can come in to see patients be like,

hello, I'm Helen, I'm your nurse. I'm Helen, you're going to die. You're bleeding out your asshole. I think what you need is a decent bra at bedtime, okay? I've got a couple of models coming in here to show you what you could be. Doctor, we got another brand zino bleeder in here. Okay, guess what? You've heard of a, you've heard of a hospital gown.

Guess what? I invented hospital lingerie. Put it on. You'll feel great. The doctor's like, scalpel. scalpel please what god damn it helen this is a thong listen it's precision that's what this requires what is this heart surgery that's what this requires trust me trust me before you open up this body she's going to want to have some panties on give it to her no one wants to bleed to death

in pajamas all right just get this listen it'll just make her look more shapely if you put the one the bra on her, okay, before you go into her appendectomy. So she comes up to Carrie and she's like, Captain, that was exhausting. And let me tell you, are you directed by Spike Lee because you do the right thing every single time? Thank you. And Carrie is like, is she doing all right? I think she's going to therapy after this. No joke.

No joke. The woman is going to be therapist. Uh-oh, I just got a video from Kelly. she's drinking a martini and she's saying this is my therapy okay I didn't get the joke apparently I didn't realize she was joking so now

Kyle calls one of his friends and he's like how are you going lad we just hear oh yeah I'm still kind of over it you know I'm got it I'm got it by the whole thing

I'm a bit hurt you know what I'm saying don't you it's just killing me I couldn't get out of bed this morning I just need a few days to be like Ah, you're a suck, and then get off, right? I've just been a foul mood, but whatever. You know, the winds, the winds well and truly knocked out of my sails,

whichever one wants to hear from someone working on a boat. So Lane's definitely playing the field, which is fair, but maybe I'm a little jealous. Maybe, but I was definitely catching feelings for this girl, and now I look like a mug. Literally, I've got a handle stuck onto my head. I don't know how that happened, drunk accident. And anyway, I look like a mug and a puppy. And you know, I'm not the best version of myself right now, which is sad because if the other version you've seen of me is my best version, well, just think about that.

But anyway, it's definitely fucking spout for me big time. And now this guy is also doing a defense the whole time, but it's a pre-defense because he already knows at this point probably that he fucks Barbara or whoever he doesn't he end up fucking Helen or somebody? Not Barbara. What do I keep saying? Helen. They're making it looks like he, they're making it look like he goes and fucks Helen. I don't know yet. I don't know. But it sounds like he's already making a defense.

Like, I'm just so broken up after what's the land did to me. Look what I've become. Look what I've become. Yes, he just had to go towards the one person who made him feel attractive. All guy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I finally veld a dragative do somebody. It's like the Michelle.

He just starts to know the valley defenses. Yeah. Yeah. So now it's the second day of the charter. It's the morning. The guests are going to sit down for breakfast. And Helen's like, hi, I'm Helen. It's Helen. Anyway, I'm leaving. I'm in the same swimmer as yesterday because that's how quickly I left the boat. It was an emergency. I'm wearing the same exact swimwear. Oh, I guess it's not even the next day. It is the next day. But it's not the next day after the next day. Okay. I'm still in the same bikini bottom. It's the next day from yesterday. Yeah. And so she's wearing the same thing. And so someone's like, well, you sure have a nice boot. Helen. She goes, oh yeah, that's right. Bought and paid for. What and paid for? So the guest is like, wow, this food, you prepared this perfectly. I mean, I never thought I would love a Tomahawk steak in the morning, but you know, it tastes wonderful. You think he's single this Captain? You think he's single? I want him. I want him. Bring him home to me. I think it's pretty hard. And he's like, ah, here are you ladies, and I'm not single. I've got a very foisty Turkish

missis you don't want to get in you don't want to get in a ring with that she looks cute but she'll take you out trust me that's that's all been working on my turkish duo lingo so uh case you're wondering i'll have some peter please for the breakfast that's what they do in turkey yeah what was the thing that we'd always say last season when he was always practicing Turkish. He'd be like it would just everybody's parting and then it would just cap to him and he'd be like, Mahaba.

Mahaba. Mahabah. Mahabah. Nazilani's. Nazilani's. Nazilani's. Turkish delight. Am I right? All right. That rhymed.

Listen, my wife didn't want me to go out again, but I told her, honey. I've got to go, because I'm a man, a man who loves Macera. Oh, yes, I love an accidental rhyme. I love when I get to say that rhymed. Or in Turkish, as they say, Bucafielli. Bocafielli.

That rhymed in Turkish. Ironically, it doesn't rhyme. Thruven! Okay. There were just two words for adventure. I had to get them in there because it was time to flex. Flex my muscles. So Barbara is talking to Salane and she's getting annoyed because Saline, you know, she does suck at her job.

And so there Barbara was like, we have to do these things, you know. She goes, what is turn up? She's like, turn up, you know, it is to make sure they change everything about what they are out. And she goes, oh, wait, so guest on for us? She goes, no, for the guests. What would it be for us? Everything is for the guests, okay? You want turn up in your own room?

Your room is not turning up enough. Your room has turned up enough, okay? We need less turn up in your room, personally. I don't even eat turn up. So then they find a beach for a little beach picnic. The guests head out there and everything, and Fraser welcomes them. And it's like beach fun times and stuff. And Helen's like, is this a nude beach?

Where's Fraser? I don't like tan lines, okay? You know what? As someone who has a lingerie company, you know what I love to do? Not wear it. Okay. Who wants to wear lingerie?

Am I right? Anything seems disgusting. I don't like dad lied phrase. I gotta take off my top. I'm like, please don't. You know, and this is the problem with nude beaches. Everybody thinks like, oh, you know, you go to the nude beach and everyone is like,

everyone's going to be so hot. That was my first thought. Like, if I go to nude beach, I'm going to feel so insecure. I'm always so insecure about my body. and everyone's going to be all hot, naked, and stuff. And then you get there and no one's hot and naked. And I'm like, wait, these are all people I don't want to see naked.

Like, where are the hot people? Yeah, like, if I'm going to be naked at the beach and put myself through this trauma, I should at least be able to see hot people. I'm not saying I am one. I know I'm not, but at least I can have the view of it. But no, it's the Hellens. It's the Hellens and the Franks of the world that are at the nude beach. Yeah, it's unfortunate.

It's a shame. That's why I'm taking a burkini and I'm going to, a holiday in pool no a best western pool i've already decided oh we're terribly sorry but the best the pool's closed for renovations sorry so um uh so helen's like uh oh my god the water i need kyle kyle you're my floating raft kyle just hold me hold me because you're my raft all right here we are kyle so she's just like topless and in kyle's arms and he's loving it he's i mean she's basically being held up by Kyle's boner at this point and you know her husband's just sitting there frank is like I don't care because he's he's been down it's not his first time at the rodeo

callback because this probably happens every time there's a vacation he doesn't care I feel like the staff is more scandalized than he is this is he's like oh it's hell and being Helen what can I say my first time at the rodeo I got a Brancino on my pocket yeah but you do it I think they're probably swinging or something because he's like well whatever and they're playing this really dramatic music like don't don't don't don't don't ton and kiles kind of carrying this naked lady through the water and everybody seems like they're chill and having fun but the music's like the music is so extra right now and demo's like this she's got her top off and this chick's nuts i've got no idea what's going on in that guy's head

vibes are weird i'm like i think he's just she's like she wants kai he's roaring himself out as per the of the staff member on a yacht yeah and kyle's like listen my hands were above to hold the rate and helen's like this is better than the pool float it's better than a pool float you do all the great job silly how can they call him stilly i've never really understood that is that like a last term for scottish uh stilly i think oh his last name is stilly oh it is Kyle Stilly. Oh, there you go. I think.

Yeah, Kyle Stilly. I just looked him up. And he's got a lot of veins in his first picture. He's very vainy in his face. Is he hot? Is he in the steam room? What's happening to Kyle in this picture? I have to look now.

It's his Instagram. Let me see. Stilly visits. May I ask a question? Why am I signed out of Instagram? Okay, here it is. Yeah. He looks terrifying in this picture.

Let me see. What does it say? somewhere in the world that's what I am that's all it says somewhere in the world I have to say never gone hashtag model never gone

hashtag model um still he is having the time of his life he's loving this because you know he's going through a lot right now with Salain so to be able to have a fresh body in his arms is very meaningful to him

and you know he says no request too large, so to speak. You know, they're on the boat. So, Helen's like, oh, God, St. David. I'm totally doing St. David again. This is great. Oh, wow. So then, meanwhile, Elaine calls her brother to complain about the situation.

Oh, no. I can believe you said that word, Ben Mandel, girl. I'm very close to my brother. Like, when we are together, we're, like, best friends. And, like, we do the bad stuff together, like, make out with each other and stuff. But, like, when I have to jump from the window to escape to go see my boyfriend, like, don't tell mom, like, we share the sequence together. And I've never been with a woman.

So it's a little surprise for me, but how could you try to build something with me in the meantime, like a new one? The producer's like, you remember making out with Scotty or Stilly the other day? She's like, oh, no, it's not the same. Bobble is my best friend. Bobbless my roommate, so I need to protect myself. The first rule is don't get hurt.

Well, that's your problem. No, do not harm others. either. Yeah. But what kind of doctor are you going to be? First, don't get hurt.

No, do not cause no harm. Do no harm. Yeah. Do no harm. First, do no harm. If I was ahead of the doctor community, I would say we need to change our saying because we're constantly

doing harm, whether we mean to or not. Like, not everybody can be saved. And I think it's just, it's just self-defeating to say, do no harm. Okay, we're going to get sued. So let's just change it. it to lava cake should be lava in the middle. Okay, everybody. Now go forward. Pass it on. That's right. I would say no harm, no charm, right? So Helen is like, they sit down for lunch

and Helen is like, okay, oh my God, this food. I'm just going to worship you right now. This is amazing. Jen, Jen, just have a drink. Okay, don't let a Zempic dictate your life. Okay, have fun. Somewhere, Amira from next gen, New York City is like, that is like the most biggest breach of etiquette I've ever heard. talking about someone else's Ozzympa. That bitch food shamed me. That bitch food. She fat shamed me.

Wow. So Jennifer is, now they're ready to go back in the water. And Helen's like, I'm not getting back in there without stilly. I'm doing it. I need still in my raft. So Fraser is like, Stilly. There's a request to have you in the water, the primary, do it. And he's like, oh, I can get fine.

I can get back in that water. Okay, well, I'd like it. to be known that Fraser is, knew what was going on. He knew that he was carrying this naked lady around. He never said, have some boundaries. Don't forget your boundaries. He just said, go back into the water with that letterous woman. That's right.

Just when he gets in trouble next week, just remember who's throwing him, tossing him in that bus water. Yeah, threw me into the bus water. Big, big bus water. So Anthony's back on the boat. Kerry's checking in about dinner. And Kerry's basically like, can you make sure it's not a three-hour meal? Because they're all wasted. I don't want him to sit there for three hours.

And then Richard's pass out on the beach, which is one of the guests. And Helen and Kyle are getting handsy again. And Rainbow's like, I'm just like, what? Am I living in a twilight zone? Like her husband's 20 meters away. Just you see, Frank, he's like, you know, just wants a beer. He doesn't go. The more you do, the less I have to do.

Got it, kid! So then Fraser Colts Carey to pick them up And Barbara, Barbara's like telling Salain You should do the welcome drinks and everything And so then they're approaching And Barbara's like, Salain, Saline, Sabrina, Barbara Like come on, come to the bar now, come to the bar now And Barbara's like, no, yes, oh you can, what, okay,

But I have to put away vacuum in good place Like we can not yell at me, okay? I mean, you cannot call me a situation Because I'm putting vacuum in closet. So Barbara's getting pissed and she takes both trays out by herself. And it's like, where were you? I'm here, I'm here.

Why you scream at me? Please come down with me. You do not have to talk like this with me. Speak proper. No, they are here. They're here. Saline, come on. They are here.

Come on. You have to be here quickly. Okay, then stay here. Okay, if you don't want to be here, then stay here. Okay. Selin? Yeah. She's like, okay, well, where are the drinks and you?

Don't have to scream with me like that, blah, blah. I do I want to scream at you. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm not here. But you're not here. I need someone, I cannot, I'm not talk about, I cannot hold all the straight of the drinks. Like I have one trade at time, otherwise things fall and if all you'll clean up, it actually makes more of a mess.

The longer I wait for you, more than mess. I mean, if you don't do, you're back to me earlier, I'll do it later, but you don't have, but I need you now, I need you now. I need you now. I need you now. Why you're not here? You should be here. Oh, la la, they are here. I told you they were here.

So they start passing out drinks and Barbara is going to kill her. So Jennifer's like, Captain, I want to know. where to send my application and this is the life for me and he's like oh you like working 18 20 hours a day just talking to your kid when he's learning to drive do you know how hard it is trying to teach a 15 year old how to drive on face time god it's it's not easy it's not easy at all but what i will say is i'm up gonna digger oh you're looking up turkish word it's worth it long phrase you typed in you're like horrible the day there what do you talk about typing that was the sound of my brain churning as i remember the turkish i've been learning

this spinning beach ball as you were getting turkish spinning beach ball or as they say in turkey don't own plush terpoo so demo is like so hey what's going on rainbow did you get kicked off the boat now you back what's going on she's like well i was borderline whether i could come or not i mean we've got tensions on the boat in the interior i just worked so hard you know i just worked so hard i worked so hard it stresses me out and i i think there's something going on with just like a little love triangle oh god i don't know everybody hates each other isn't it great rainbow the uh the observation powerhouse that is rainbow i think there's a love triangle going on really i didn't notice it at all

not really nobody talks to rainbow it's so sad she really is not aware so then uh jess goes to talk to barbara she's like are you okay so is like mm-hmm are you sure i heard you on the radio hello do you hear me is it me you're looking for answer me please answer me and she ignores her and like scrolls very slowly on her phone i like when people do the slow scroll on the phone like i'm not even scrolling quickly i'm not even scrolling quickly i I'm just very, very slowly ignoring you. Enjoy. I have so much time in the world that I can scroll slowly,

and I'm still with all that time, not taking any of it to talk to you. That's what I'm doing right now. So, Just as our whole, oh, this is all my fault. I've done horrible things. This is me suffering the consequences of my actions. So I guess I would have to suffer.

So then Jess is like, so did you hear Bob her on the radio with Soso? And Hugo is like, oh, she's getting fucking bitched at hard, dude. I was like, who's Hugo? He's the new guy. He's like, she's getting fucking bitched out hard, dude. It's like bad. It's bad. He's from New York.

So Jess is like, I think she's awesome. Like, I really do dig her. But people are complaining about the work ethic. Like, it's not the first time I've heard it. He's like, yeah, well, you might as well get it in. soon because I don't know what you guys call it, but you might as well get it in soon. So what do you lesbians do? What's the version of lesbians getting in soon?

Might as well get them touching soon. Might as well get the legs wrapped around the leg. Might as well scissors soon. Am I getting close? Tell me. She's like, oh, well, I did sleep alone last night. Barbara wants nothing to do with me. She made me.

She made that very clear. And he's like, ah, because you smell like so-so. That's why you understand that, right? She's like, oh, my own consequences. Instagram wall Hugo says Well this love triangle Between Jess Saline and Barbara

It's just too messy She doesn't know what she wants But the problem is people are going to be jealous And people are going to pretend To be angry at each other And you have to be an adult You can't pretend that we're in this bubble You can just freely keep eating

Getting with people It's just not going to affect anything I mean we live, we eat, we sleep We shit in the same place It reminds me when I was a kid I once ate a candy bar There there is my personal information moving on i did it because my dad tortured me there there's a parental story we can move on

so uh some of the guys the barbara and helen are a couple of those are just like conced out on the couch in the most untrue like in the way that you just don't want to be caught by cameras she's like no there with her bikini like she's all hanging out everywhere and she's just like they're like breathing with her mouth open yeah it's like mortifying and then like one of their friends i don't like their friend who came up and like i was trying to wake them up i'm like let them be passed out like hello are you guys passed out hello hello i'm like get out of there let them yeah you want to drink you want a margarita something what do you want um so then let's see they wake out helen wakes up and uh she's like uh i want to pack my suitcase kyle could you come

with me and he's like oh you can take me with you she goes yeah you're you're coming in it and she's like i'm taking you home that was just so good Kyle, what you did for me. That was so good. You do a good job, Kyle. You do a good job. Damo meanwhile, I was talking to Hugo and he's like, oh, he's like, still he had a hard shift. And Hugo's like, why? It's like, uh, there was some word play in there, but that you didn't pick up on. But anyway, primary took a liking to him, used him as a flotation device in the water while she was topless. And he had an erection, an enormous bona erection. It's still not following Hugo. So then, uh, Fraser is, uh, working with Anthony to figure out, uh, uh,

what the meal is for the evening and anthony is like um saying how the meal's going to last it's going to take three hours and we've got and but now he's got to do this three hour meal in just one hour because carrie told him to do you think that damo is kind of acting weird with kyle do you think like kyle being hurt that damo is making out with his girl made damo go on the defensive because what does damo care that he was carrying that lady in the water it seems weird that Damo's making this big of a deal out of it over and over and now going to their boss and making a big deal out of it and kind of tattletailing on him in a very casual way. I didn't really expect that behavior from him, you know?

Demos doing the thing, like Kyle's doing the best thing, but it seems like weird, best friend behavior. Damo is doing that thing where he did the shitty thing and kind of can't, despite saying that he's in a selfish space in his life and this is just what he's going to do, he kind of can't, like, actually sit with it and be okay with it. So he's going to have to start creating a narrative that Kyle is like the crazy, unprofessional, unreasonable one. Because like when he went to Kyle to kind of like apologize,

even though Kyle was like, it's all good. He could tell Kyle was mad. And so Damo, I don't think is comfortable with having people mad at him. So he has to sort of start turning it on the other person. So that way, Damo doesn't feel bad because of the other person is the villain.

Because he's being fishy. That is not like I'm not saying Kyle's being professional. I mean, of course, if it was, if it was anybody else being like, well, that is unprofessional. I don't, you know, blah, blah, I would get it. But, like, you're supposed to be best friends. And also, you're the one making out with everybody, like, trying to be, like, the most sexually free. Like, you're the male saline on this boat. So it's like, for you to be throwing stones feels a little weird, especially to the boss.

I don't know. Shady behavior highlights. Yeah. So now, Damo is talking to Jess. about how he has to wash his sheets. And Jess is like, I haven't washed my sheets only done at one time, but I've also been sleeping in other people's beds.

He's only washed his sheets one time too, this whole charter. That is nasty. Don't they have some kind of like standard where you have to wash your sheets? That's nasty. If only they had some people on board who had some sort of expertise with washing sheets. If only we had some maids on this board.

Come on. so then so then just is telling us more she was this whole situation sorry I had to say the word it's making me really nervous it reminds me of high school

and it didn't end so well I was in a group of three girls and there was one girl that I was having a thing with but it's because the other girl who I actually liked so what I'm trying to say to you all America I've been playing games for many

many years yeah I was going to say like wow thanks for the story to illustrate how you never learn fucking anything. You're doing exactly the same thing you did in high school. You're like, it reminds me of high school when I was bullied, but you're like the bully. You know, it's like, oh, God, I've just run someone over in a crosswalk. It reminds me of high school when I pushed that child out of his chair.

It reminded me of high school when I first became a garbage person. And, you know, I didn't like, you know, she didn't like me back and I tried to make her jealous. And I decided not to go for the person that I actually lied. and then the other girl fucked me over. And I don't know what's up with me and fucking up relationships with girls. I'm really good at it, apparently. I'm like, I know what's up with you.

You're terrible. Yeah, you're an asshole. That's what's wrong. Yeah. And you're the one fucking everybody over in these relationships. They're not fucking you over. And then you're sitting there crying.

You were in an insincere, you led someone on insincerely because you were using them in a game to arouse the attention of someone else in a triangle. you idiot yeah so um damo is talking about how rainbows is he saying rainbows been coming on to him pretty strong and she's like oh my god damo no you've been flirting with this girl all season so don't make it seem now like oh my god i don't know where rainbow's coming from like those rainbows

into me come on both of you it's like both the fuck boys talking each other through something it's like two dumb two dumb fuck boys standing around telling each other exactly exactly well tonight is an eight horse meal

with a tasting manual and it's where you can judge of a chef is good or not because you want to come up with a story for the table and that's the most important period so the first course

to the last course you have to make up a story you know it's not just shit you throw over but I feel like it's too much in my head every day but now I'm a new man and I'm telling myself

I'm a winner I'm a winner I'm a winner I'm a winner. I'm a winnow. Oh, did that run wrong. And I got this. I got this. I got this got. Yeah, I like that he's trying to get all like, I'm a bitchy chef now. Like he's trying to change his character in the middle of the season. And I'm just not buying it. Like Fraser comes in. He's like, how's dinner coming? He's like, please, Fraser, I don't want anyone in here. This is not summer camp. This is summer camp. Where people come in kitchen. What kind of summer camp are you in? Where's just everybody in the kitchen. Kitchen summer camp. We all know kitchen summer camp. You don't have that in America. So, Damo is saying how Frank is the best guest they've had all season. He's like, he's like, yeah, there's a few mob vibes, but, you know, they look like they spent a couple of days down by the pizzeria, swapping stores, about the old days, about how Frankie two fingers got his name, et cetera. I'm like, I just, I just love now when Damo dips into American culture.

First he had the cowboy thing, and I was like, Frankie, two fingers. I'm waiting to see what's next. You can do like a Woody Allen impersonation next. So Hugo's like, oh, wait, captain's going to be at the table. He's like, yes, so if we can pick up any advanced problems we're going to have, that would be great. Like if you have no idea, the attention to detail we do to service with him, it is insane what we do for the captain. You do not. What are you talking about?

You sit his ass down and serve him the same old hot dogs everyone else gets. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your evening of lingerie and lights here to join you wearing his most formal teddy. Captain Kerry, please, Captain Kerry, come join. And Anthony is like, well, the plan is our, but it is most important. Captain is coming, and it is scary for me, but it's so important to me. I want to make sure this is right, you know, so I'm so nervous. So Carrie comes in, and meanwhile, Jess is having dinner.

Salane is having dinner in the crew mess. And Jess is like, What happened with you and Barbara today? Because I heard her a couple of times call you. She said, oh, no, she asked me, Saline, come down now. And I say, don't speak to me like that. You know, no, no worries. It's not about you, Jess.

And she's like, but I care about if you keep your job or not. Because guess what? Production just told me we're starting a new storyline that you're about to get fired. And she's like, well, you know what? Stop to care about anything. Stop to, stop to say you care. Stop to say you care. She's like, why?

What's wrong with caring about that? I'm telling you now, you need to be really careful. I don't want you to get off this boat, but I do want to get you off on this boat. If you know what I'm saying. It's like, you know, maybe I prefer when we don't talk. And so she's like, oh, she just gives me off vibes. You know, now she's very distant. I don't like, I don't find people who aren't driven attractive.

Oh, really? Okay, so now you're going to come up with a way that this is your choice. Come on. Yes. Yes. She's going to, that's exactly what this is. Now she's going to make it seem like Solane isn't serious. She goes, I don't know.

Something's changing for me. Too much trauma that you caused. I feel like I'm losing my head on this boat. Barbara is super real. Exactly what you see is what you get. Like she speaks her feelings. And I just, I do have regrets. I feel like I'm going in circles.

Like Barbara's banglets. It's just hard. You know, it's hard. yeah it's not hard but she's fucking up at every turn on this she really is

that's the end of the episode though that's the big cliffhanger which is what will happen next week well Jess and Salane still have tourist conversations

I guess next week on people you don't care or fucking each other it's a good rebrand thanks everyone for being here it's a delight fun times

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