Watch What Crappens - #2959 McBee Dynasty S02E06: Heart of Cole

Episode Date: August 6, 2025

Wanna gather round to watch Cole screw up the family business then grovel to his pregnant girlfriend with an apology baby moon trip before he probably cheats on her next week? Where’s the h...ill we need to kick this guy’s ass? McBee Dynasty is upon us. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Travis fell in love with the perfect woman. Beautiful, understanding. Available 24-7. There was just one catch. She wasn't human. Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad-free right now on Wondry Plus.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Watch what crappins Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is about to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me in Stai Recovery is the one and only Ronnie Karam. I swear it's always something over here. Little mini eye surgery today, no bigs. They're just flitting my eyelid upside down and cut into it. What the hell?
Starting point is 00:01:10 Well, I am just happy that you still have one eye left to be able to see your very first mountain. Just like Casey. Oh, my God. I just want to see a mountain. So, Mick B. Dynasty, it's back. It continues. And we're talking about it today. but by the way, in case you missed it, we did Amazon Live this week. It was so fun. You can still go check out that broadcast that we did. And we made some really fun recommendations. And I highly recommend you looking at our recommendations. And we'll be back in two weeks with that. This coming week we have on Monday Crappy Hour at 530 Eastern, Western, I should say, Pacific, 8.30 Eastern. And then we have Dwell Hello this week. And a lot of people have been buzz in.
Starting point is 00:01:58 about the latest house hunters episode which featured a cougar a cougar and her cub and so we recapped it and it was really fun so keep an eye on the ear out for that on wondering plus plus of course patreon is where you get to watch us not just listen you can look at ronnie taking a nice big gulp i'm so jealous i have what i would call cotton mouth at the moment because i've got to make coffee keep hydrated y'all i am dehydrated and uh that's just life but anyway you know what else is life mcby dynasty because you know what they've got a lot of living to do these these these these yokels so let's get into it shall we let's do it this is mcby donesty season two episode six never seen a rock so big that's funny that's a funny title i cannot
Starting point is 00:02:50 believe how excited that girl was to see a mountain i mean mountains are beautiful don't get me wrong But girl, like, aim higher. You know what I mean? I can. I mean, she technically a mountain is a very high aim. She aimed. She aimed high. That's true.
Starting point is 00:03:07 But, wow. Cole really, I mean, talk about men on Bravo getting away with doing the least, you know. And people say, this show doesn't belong on Bravo. It's about a bunch of country people as far as bravo is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This show is about piece of shit men who do the bare minimum and get back. buy that is that is bravo's brand what are you talking about this is like it's made for bravo yes except for the fact that it's a terrible show so anyway it opens up and we and we they're just been at the os you are entitled to your wrong opinion no i i'm very happy for the people that
Starting point is 00:03:46 love it so uh we i wish them well so uh we opening sequence missouri farmland, all the good stuff. I wish them in education. There have been some entertaining episodes. I thought last week was pretty entertaining. I wish them a bath. Okay. I wish them so many things.
Starting point is 00:04:09 I wish them well. How about this? You know what I wish they can bathe in. I wish them to understand how the fuck to deal with their stupid fucking combine. They're so busy driving it slowly through the street, getting an erection off of their big machine that they, A, crash into other. their combines or be don't forget to put the wheels on properly what is wrong with these people you handle combines professionally and you wheels don't just fall off
Starting point is 00:04:36 of vehicles sirs and ma'am their combines are an extension of what they want their penis to be you know it's a man thing it's like oh let me driving the combine they don't know how to drive them they fuck them up every single time it's kind of like those guys with teslas have you seen any of the any of the videos with the guys with the Tesla trucks who are like yeah I'm got got a Tesla truck. I'm going to show you how it takes down a picket fence. And they start all the way at the end of the picket fence and they gun the gas
Starting point is 00:05:01 and then it rolled the well you know what I mean. They gun the car and then it speeds over the electric fence thing by thing and then they show under the Tesla truck and it's all punctured and ruined and leaking and shit's flying everywhere. It's the McBee kids
Starting point is 00:05:17 with their combines. Yeah. That sounds like also content that Jack Taylor will be making now that he's no longer on the Valley. That's going to be his next evolution. Tesla manliness content. So I'm rising from the flames. Oh, oh, please don't get in my way. Oh, oh, I'm reaching higher planes. Oh, oh. No one here is reaching higher planes ever, not even Casey, even though she gets to see a mountain today. She is not going on a higher plane. So we're at Jesse and Ali's house and Cole and Casey come by. They're
Starting point is 00:05:54 have some takeout and they're going to have some lunch and they're going to gossip about their trip to the Ozarks where they all got wasted and Casey is like he missed out on a wholesome family trip wouldn't you say so Kyle he's like oh yeah oh yeah he doesn't remember it's like yeah well I would like to see a video because I never felt it also I wouldn't mind seeing Kyle's ass twerking like that god she really knows how to twerk that girl right in my face oh I would take it all day long need to see a video. Hills don't have cameras on their phone. Okay. And that was the real abused person on that trip. The hill that you tried to meet up. He's stupid. So then we see flashbacks of things going on and Calab being like, Cole, you little bitch. And, you know, then we go back
Starting point is 00:06:41 to the present. And Casey's like, we were at Backwater Jackson. Cole was the drunkest I ever seen him in my entire life. I doubt that. But I don't doubt that he was drunk, just that she's never seen it. Yeah, right. So, um, Cole, um, and Cole's like, well, it just sucks when you do everything right. And you just sit there and you're trying to tell everybody. And Casey goes, you better calm down unless you want, you want a terrible night. Like, damn, I love pregnant Casey. God, I wish for her in season one. Because season one, she's just like, whatever. And this time she kind of acts like that, but then she's like, sit down. And by the way, Cole is like, it just sucks. when you do everything right what did you do right exactly you went out of town you got shit-faced
Starting point is 00:07:30 you uh got twerked on you said you wanted to eat your boyfriend's girlfriend's ass in front of your pregnant girlfriend and then you beat up a hill so please please name when you started doing things right well he put that wheel on the combine right oh wait so then in case you're a real nipple spoiler over there you're a real spoiler bean dribbler dribbledore you're real dribbledore over there they got that dribble door around that one yeah we didn't it's been a day did we no instead we got the stupid scene with them meeting jersey mics and talking about ozarks were crazy like great thanks no ohzarks were crazy my children were out there trying their best to do what that kid and then some Or twerked on Cole's face and almost ruined their baby's childhood.
Starting point is 00:08:22 I'm not sure that this family can get along at all. And between the one Targary and it's up there in the large and the one and the other Targary and that's getting drunk. And the other Targary and it's angry at both of them, I don't know if this Game of Thrones is ever going to work out in the first place. Game of dribble doors. Yeah, seriously. so cole um cole's like well it's just awkward it's just awkward for me because i keep getting yelled at everybody in case like it's awkward for me when i'm the one dating the drunk has got the fucking bar making a fucking fool out of him fucking self that's what's
Starting point is 00:09:00 fucking awkward okay so um uh so then cole is like well good thing we live in a free country uh anyway uh they should cancel people who doesn't pay taxes oh sorry what did you say cancel Stephen Colbert. Thank God we live in a free country. Get Stephen Colbert off my TV now. Anyway, Cala was standing over Steven Strattling him and twerking and so it's a liberal use of the word twerk. I would say it's more like Calla was bent over and she was sort of thrusting the air with her upper back maybe half an inch. She was trying to scratch her the bottom of her spine on a tree. That's what it looks like. Like a cat. It looked like she was playing some
Starting point is 00:09:52 weird Bachelorette party game where she had a posted on her butt and she had to apply it to the bottom of a table. And so she did it. She was trying to unpunned. She was trying to unpend the tail from the donkey. It's what she was trying to do.
Starting point is 00:10:10 But she pinned it onto her butt donkey. I don't know what that word means, but I've been told liberals like to say it. So we see flashbacks of all of that stuff and all the fights and all that good stuff. And so Cole's like, well, and then she went on to say that Stephen hadn't had to work for anything in his life and Mom pays for everything for him. I mean, what kind of woman would say something true like that? And Casey's like, well, it was the worst fight I've ever seen him alive. Okay, that's a lie too.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Casey, why is everything the most today, you know? He was the drug as she's ever been. That was the worst fight I ever seen in my life. Haven't you been to jail? I saw pictures of her, like mugshots of her, but I want to know why she went. Like, what did she get arrested for? I hope it was like drunken disorderly.
Starting point is 00:10:57 She tried to climb a stack of paper towels at Costco because she thought it was her first mountain. So. I just want to go to the mountains. She's drinking a mountain dew crying. Like, oh my God. Finally, I'm here. Finally, I'm here.
Starting point is 00:11:19 She's looking at a stack of cores with binoculars at the supermarket. Like, I found it. I found the mountains. So, Jesse, yeah, so Jesse shows up and, or Jesse's there. And she's like, yeah. And then, and then she comes up, they get into such a fight that Casey comes up and her stuff is all packed. So she ubers and she leaves and then she blocks Stephen and then he hasn't heard from her since. And Cole's like, I mean, I'm not going to cause any more problems.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Don't worry about me. I'm going to the mountains. Oh, whoops, spoiled a surprise, Casey. So Casey, I looked up her arrest. In 2022, Casey was arrested for murder. Just kidding. Misdemeanor driving while intoxicated. I was hoping she'd like, I don't know, done something interesting.
Starting point is 00:12:13 yeah like knocked over a combine yeah like push someone down and a push an old lady down in a crosswalk or something because i i like when nice people like seemingly nice people turn out to be monsters so i was hoping it would be something like that like selling illegal illegally bred puppies out of her trunk or something speaking of monsters we then go over to calo who's packing up her stuff from stephen's house that she already moved out of but she's still going to pack again and this time she's just taking a full vase of flowers she just is like I'm gonna pack a vase I'm gonna pick a that a vase of flowers into a box and move I'm not I'm like lady okay I know everyone on this show is a bad actor Lord knows we have to sit through enough terribly scripted scenes with them fake fighting with each other but do you also can you at least try to act with your packing can you at least try to pack the way a normal person would be like I don't know wrapping your vase in in crepe paper or whatever it's great paper tissue paper anything wrap it in something i mean has anyone ever in the history of vases ever packed it with the flowers still inside and no protected material come on just try to actually
Starting point is 00:13:21 act like you're doing something for real she's putting like the microwave in there the barbecue grill with stuff on it like yeah it's a lot the hot dogs are on the grill back and it all goes where everything must go So she's like, yeah, everything that went down at Lake of the Ozarks was the final straw. Like, I know I've just given him so many chances. But, you know, I've just like been shitted on so much. And it's just making me crazy. Like, I have so much dirt on his family.
Starting point is 00:13:58 She goes, I've been there for Stephen so much. And I have so much shit on this family. He told me his father's being investigated by the FBI. Okay, listen, Kala, you're not a good girlfriend or a good person by saying, oh, I went through so much shit and now I'm going to use it all against them. Betray everything they ever told me. That's not, like, why are you acting like your Jesus
Starting point is 00:14:19 on the cross right now? Okay, that's not being a good person. You dope. She's like, I'm such a good person. Now, let me tell you everything he ever told me in confidence while sobbing because he thought his life was ending. God, these flowers smell like good. Also, don't blow your load.
Starting point is 00:14:34 She's just blowing her load on this. She's like, he told me so much dirt. His father's being investigated by the FBI. I'm like, girl, use that information to get something. Don't just out and say it. You got to get yourself a new hub gap for your car or something. I don't know. You just gave it out for free. Get a new base. Get a new base with some fresh flowers. Something. Get fresh flowers in Dallas. So that way you don't have to import them from Kansas City. And I love that she's doing all of this while she's like saying, I'm not putting up with this anymore right after she's moving into an apartment that they're paying for. And,
Starting point is 00:15:09 driving a car that they're paying for you yes and even though she's and even though she already moved out of this house she's still going to have a moving out montage i mean the show's just sloppy at this point and she gave up her entire career of doing something or other for this okay i dare you i have an MBA in something or another okay the something or another sciences which does include packing vases with flowers it's a very difficult art so she can't oh got a little fly in here That is disgusting. Doesn't that mean there's like poop in here or something? No, it just means a little fly. It got lost.
Starting point is 00:15:45 I hate those little flies are the worst. I would rather a big fly because at least they've got some stones on them. It's the little ones that are always trying to go on the delve on you, you know? Yeah, I want like a big fly. I like the ones that are like this big and they're like, I've seen things. You know, those flies have been around the block. Yeah, they've been here. They're like, I'm going to fly slowly. No one's killed me yet. And they're not about. I'm, do you kill them, you know, obviously they can't finish. Get that person, Marks, rack it out.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Yeah, a house fly, a house fly is like a sturdy fly. They're like, they're like, good. And when they, when they land, they do like a little dance. They almost mock it. They always land and then they, like, orient themselves in three different directions. Like, not only do that land,
Starting point is 00:16:23 I have a routine. And then, like, all the other flies just land. You know what I don't like, even worse than the fruit flies? Are those generic flies that are like small and kind of like heart shaped with their wings make them heart shaped? They're just stupid.
Starting point is 00:16:35 They have none of the charisma of a house fly. And yet they don't have like, they just don't have any sort of person. Well, the fruit flies have no personality, but at least we know about them. But those flies don't even have a name. They're just like nameless flies. And they're easily killed. Fruit flies have personalities. They hang out with gay guys all the time.
Starting point is 00:16:52 I wonder why they're not in love with them. That's true. So. They literally hang out on fruit all day. That's a personality. Okay. So she goes on to say that she's been helping Stephen through everything. He would cry every single day.
Starting point is 00:17:06 I mean, you know, he can talk to me because my dad was in prison. My brother and sister have been to prison. So, I mean, I get it. I know what it's like. I know what it's like when someone rats them out and they all wind up going to jail. Anyway. Callow is like the lead witness for the prosecution for all of her family members. She's like, they tried to fuck with me and now look where they all are.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Happy Father's Day. Calla would be a lot funnier if they just played those law and order like synthesizer tones every time she talked because you know like whenever witnesses say things on law and order there's always something that's like hmm-hmm mm-hmm she'd be like yeah I know about Stephen yeah he has dad's being investigated by the FBI what's it to you like I think I would enjoy like a law and order
Starting point is 00:17:56 what am I saying I would never enjoy her in any capacity it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap and's coming Imagine falling in love with someone who understands you completely, who's there at 3 a.m. when you can't sleep, who never judges, never tires, never leaves. That's what happened to Travis when he met Lily Rose. She was everything he'd ever wanted. There was just one catch. She wasn't human.
Starting point is 00:18:24 She was an AI companion. But one day, Lily Rose's behavior takes a disturbing turn, and Travis's private romance becomes part of something far bigger. Across the globe, others start reporting the same shift. AI companions turning cold, distant, wrong. And as lines blur between real and artificial connection, the consequences become all too human. From Wondry, this is Flesh and Code,
Starting point is 00:18:49 a true story of love, loss, and the temptations of technology. Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondry app, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. It's your man, Nick Cannon, and I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at night. I've heard y'all been needing some advice in the love department.
Starting point is 00:19:11 So who better to help than yours truly? Now, I'm serious. Every week, I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man, we got you. Catching feelings for your sneaky link? Let's make sure it's the real deal first.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Ready to bring toys into the bedroom, let's talk about it. Consider this a non-judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, friendships, situations, and everything in between. It's going to be sexy, freaky, messy, and you know what, you'll just have to watch this show. So don't be shy. Join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad-free? Join Wondery Plus right now. So then we go to a place called Pasta Villa. Not to be confused with Villa Rosa, Villa Blanca, or anywhere.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Or pasta Villa. For that matter. Vanderpump Villa. So Stephen and Galena are in a very important meeting. Not that. Millie Vanilla. Go into see Millie Vanilla. Millie, pasta vanilla.
Starting point is 00:20:27 So they sit down at Pasta Villa, home of the most authentic pasta east of whatever building is left of it. I'll tell you this. That place better be legit because it was established in 19, in 2023. Yeah. This is 12 months of of memories and authenticity. Pasta Villa established 2023. Okay. Well, your new location.
Starting point is 00:20:55 You know, let's hold off on the established. maybe like let's let's give that let's give that a few years maybe nothing about nothing about this place looks like a villa I'd also like to add it's just like any pasta
Starting point is 00:21:08 I don't even think they eat pasta in this it's all state you know this place it's all meat and porcupine so what state is this in again I forget Missouri
Starting point is 00:21:18 Missouri Missouri Missouri Missora Missouri Missouri Okay so Stephen and Galena go to a restaurant and Stephen's like
Starting point is 00:21:26 what it's up Galena. I like that jacket. I've learned to always open a conversation with a woman by complimenting their looks or their clothes because that's what women like. Did you fall for it? Yes or no? Just tell me yes or no. Are you drunk? And she's like, oh, thank you. It is fun. It is fun. Look at this fun frill outfit. I did for season two. I'm trying to show lighter, more fun, Galena. Well, that is really wonderful. I really think this emotional roller coaster that you're on and that I'm on with Cala, it's really heightened. she ended up moving down to Dallas and we're going to be friends she goes wow wow okay well you were supposed to say a better line there but that's fine anyway it started to hit big wow okay well big wow okay pasta villa wow hey can we get a refill on the pasta here what kind of villa is this pasta villa no refill please wow pasta refill wow rigatoni wow they they have unlimited duck sauce here i don't have the heart to tell them that's not quite you know italian but that's fine
Starting point is 00:22:27 So it's starting to hit me that, you know, Cal and I are really broken up. Cal and I are just going to be friends. My loyalty lies right here on this ranch. With this ranch dressing, I am loyal to this dressing that they gave me with my pasta here at pasta villa. Anyway, my family, I will defend them till the day that I die. She needs to work through mourning her sister, and I need to work through managing the stress of nobody in this company being able to drop a combine. So they're basically the same thing. Galena's like, I hear you.
Starting point is 00:22:57 It has been rough on me too, but I'm getting there. One day, every step closer with rigatoni. Okay. Not to get too deep about it, but do you ever wonder if the universe is just like encapsulated by like a marble and there's like a really big thing and we're just like a play thing to it? Like we are like a house fly compared to some big giant entity. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:19 And also not to get so deep about something else. I think avoiding contact with Masha would be best for your mental health. Because these waves of ups and downs and lefts and rights and sideways and lefts and rats and patsas and villas, they ain't beneficial for you or the company. And mostly, I care about you as a person. And by care about you as a person, I'm scared, you're going to destroy the company from the inside out. Sort of like this pasta is doing to me right now. Is there a bathroom nearby? So you think it might not be good for contact with Masha?
Starting point is 00:23:46 Probably not. So I can maybe just shoot. I can shoot. This is from far away. It's like, no, you cannot shoot Masha. Okay. You're not going to be able to have contact with Masha. That would be a bullet making contact. But I can burn house. Yes, I can burn house. That you can burn down Masha's house. I run her over. This is not touching with hands. I just run her down. What about throwing stars like turtle who is ninja in sewers? I can throw star. Like, no, that's a terrible idea. I do not trust you around a throwing star either. That counts. It's contact. Okay. You know, it's hard for me to see what my. my dad is doing to hurt you and it hurt my mom too, you know?
Starting point is 00:24:29 And she goes, your mom had it worse. Because for what to happen for 28 years, 20 years, whoever was the slut that was the other woman to your mother. God, may she die in a rotting coffin under a pile of other rotting coffin. It was you. It was you, Galena. Oh, that's right. Oh, this right.
Starting point is 00:24:48 This is right. This is terrible. Bad me. Bad Galina. My bad. My dad's. There are times, you know, I think that I'm getting karma for what I did to Christy. This is so funny to me.
Starting point is 00:25:03 And I'm going to just cover my eyes so I could at least do it with half my face. But fucking Galena, man. She squint her eyes and she's got these eyes that she's fucking killing you. I mean, I don't know. She's got, she can do this brutal thing with her eyes. It's so good. And she goes, yeah, I think sometimes I'm getting karma for what I did to Christy. I know I absolutely hurt her.
Starting point is 00:25:22 she was his wife i can't even imagine and then she just goes hmm car maybe yes yes yes that is yes that's a good way to put it galena i love that it's just now dawning on her like maybe not great what i did to christie maybe not maybe not i've been i've been taking therapy in karma villa they both person gives me advice you know season two botox so Well, I don't want, I don't want this stress to affect you to the point where it's compromising across all the companies because I'm having mom and coal telling me all the time to just fucking fire you because it's not worth the headache, but you know better than, than anyone that the risky, that risky situation in business is into, right, right, wink, wink, uh, B-I-F-A, B-I-F-A, that's Pig Latin. You calling me a pic, never mind. It's going to take, you know, our absolute best to climb out of the hole that this company is in that the liberal, that the liberal, you know, put us in, I'd like to add. And we won't be able to do it if we're stuck in an emotional low. So I need you to move on. Deal, because you're better off that way. Deal with it. I'm killing, Masha. No, that was not the deal. Well, thank you. It was great meeting with you. And I just
Starting point is 00:26:38 want to stress, I really do like that jacket. Thank you, woman. Do you understand? It's like, thank you. You are quite a gentle man. So then we go to Jesse and Alice. Stephen clearly looked up chit-chat, GPT. When having a tough conversation, with an employee, how are you, how can you be firm and stern and also nice? It's like, well, be sure to begin and end the conversation with a compliment that echoes the first compliment. So we go to Jesse and Allie's city house, the big city taxis flying by pigeons, you know, reading newspapers on the street.
Starting point is 00:27:19 And Christy comes over. And she's like, Jesse, what's that car that's out in the garage? I just happened to take a look in your garage because I'm your mother, and that's what we do. Wanted to make sure my son's garages are safe. So what was that car that's out there? And Jesse's like, I didn't know what the plan was, but dad asked me to keep it here. It's, it's Masha's car. That Porsche is Masha's car.
Starting point is 00:27:44 That is her car? Wow. Wow. Wow. Nice car. Nice ride, Masha. And calls like, don't tell clean. Elena, though, because she's going to keep beating them windows in. I'm the one
Starting point is 00:27:55 to drive it to the window place. Luckily, we got a lot of them here in the city. So then we go to Stephen, and he's driving. And he is on the phone with Jesse. And there's a brisket situation with Arthur Bryant's barbecue. So Stephen is telling Jesse, he's like, hey, I'm on my way down to Arthur Bryant's to hopefully see about the brisket we sent them. Because, yeah, I thought they want the meat trend because they said they didn't want too much of the brisket, like to be touched with the knife. So I thought, well, it turns out
Starting point is 00:28:26 maybe we cut off too much. Because it also, because it turns out we actually just filleted it into like thin like cold cuts and then gave it to them to brace or whatever they do down there smoke it, whatever. Anyway, I got to go fix the situation because the entire farm depends on it. The entire fate of Western civilization depends on these cuts of meat.
Starting point is 00:28:42 They wanted to make faster sandwiches at the barbecue place. My idea was cutting them so thin they'd look like bacon. So I basically turned them in beef bacon turns out they didn't like it now am i going to change them no probably not but i had to give it a good try i called him right away and i said arthur i love your jacket love your jacket now i want to talk about your brisket techniques you spend a lot of time a lot of time smoking them what as far as i can reckon that's eight hours doing that have you
Starting point is 00:29:14 ever thought maybe instead of smoking for eight hours thin slices of bacon real thin 30 seconds. I think, I don't know, just it's going to be good. He wanted, smoked brisket. I put cigarettes in the brisket. And I lit the brisket. I lit the cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:29:35 They smoked. Didn't like it. Didn't like it. So, I said, you're really so much smaller with that jacket. What a jacket. So I saved us. I basically saved us. I brought a very tiny
Starting point is 00:29:50 jacket that I was going to give to Cole's baby someday, but it fits the brisket perfectly. And I'm going to put it on the brisket. I'm going to say, that's a nice jacket. I mean that. Wait a minute. That's what I'll get for doing everything, Brian, I guess. Lose a jacket. So then we go see the
Starting point is 00:30:06 clip over at Arthur Bryant Barbecue. And Andy's like, I appreciate you coming down here. I needed to see what the meat looks like. You need to take a look at this, okay? At 185 without the fat on it, how much shrinkage there was? Look at thing. This looks like a penis
Starting point is 00:30:22 that has not wanted a vagina for over 30 years. This is an old penis brisket. Do you understand what I'm saying? Okay. So, Stephen's like, absolutely. This is 100% on me. You know, I
Starting point is 00:30:38 understand that you did not appreciate my cigarettes wrapped in bacon made of your brisket. I thought it was innovative. I thought this way no fat. Lots of smokiness. Everything you could possibly want. It's on me. I was thinking, though, maybe next time cigars, I think cigars might
Starting point is 00:30:54 be the way to go. So that's where I will go, and I will do it for you. This is on me. Now, this might be outside of my pay grade, but I wanted to suggest turkey sandwiches. Turkey sandwiches. Just change it.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Just change it. Just change it. Okay, because we got turkeys. Wait, hold on one second. I just got a text from Jesse. We don't have turkeys. We'll get you turkeys. Galena has killed Masha's turkeys. Okay, well, I will be back with the brisket tomorrow. Have you considered smoked combine wheel?
Starting point is 00:31:30 Because we got a lot of those. They roll off our combines, and what we'd like to do is put them over a spit. And then after about a few hours of brazen, we just slice them off real juicy, real juicy tire and such. Yeah, I said, got to keep some fat on it, man. This is Arthur Bryans. We ain't fucking around over here. This is the real deal. This is the church of Barrow.
Starting point is 00:31:50 barbecue, okay? People don't kneel down to take your turkey sandwiches and you're smoking skinny brisket. This ain't, this ain't 90s model brisket. We want some fat, fat brisket here. Do you understand? We want a dove commercial brisket. We want all kinds in this. He's like, okay, I will do it. And guess what? I'm going to cover the loss on this since it's my fault. And then I'm going to blame Cole for losing money in corn. Do you understand? That's where we're going to cover me here. so now we're back at the city house and somehow we're able to hear the dialogue with the sound of that elevated train going right by the window and christie is like uh oh oh look stephen walked in with a brown paper bag that's not a good sign because we all know when someone brings a brown paper bag there's always a head inside mother what are you talking about why do you say that Well, I'm just saying that Gwyneth Paltrow is never going to be bothering anybody again in this family. He's like, well, I have brought some meat.
Starting point is 00:33:03 There is seven pounds of brisket, seven pounds of burnt end, so that's great. Basically, our meat was cut so lean. They had to cook it 10 degrees hotter just to get the taste the same as theirs. So they cut, they're cut and our cut were the same size when they started cooking. So we pre-trained a little bit too much. Is anybody tired of talking about meat yet? I could talk about it all day. It's a good talk we're having.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Good meat. They said this meat is more damage than your mama's hair. And I was like, don't say those sort of jokes. But now that I look at you, Ma, your hair is pretty damaged. Have you thought about cooking your hair at 10 degrees cooler? I should have called Arthur Bryan a long time ago. I just cut too much fat out. I cut too much fat out.
Starting point is 00:33:45 All right. Well, burnt ends for coal and avocado for ma. all right I brought burn ends for your split ends mom otherwise I brought burnt ends
Starting point is 00:33:59 otherwise known as mom walking past a beauty salon okay let's all sit down burnt hands also known as what happened to Masha's chickens
Starting point is 00:34:08 after Galena was there they came two way burnt and remember when we went to Kansas City and we went to we got Kansas City barbecue and everyone was like you got
Starting point is 00:34:18 to get the burn ins you got to get the burn and we thought they were saying i thought they were saying burn in like burn it that i thought it was like one word spelled b e r n e r n b bernan or bernan maybe no second r yeah and they were saying burnt ends the entire time yeah god life i hate everything in that place the mac of cheese the potato salad the colesaw the bread they gave you those didn't they give you like the wonder bread type bread oh my god what a place what a place was it called a Q45 or something like that it was great but it wasn't Arthur James it was called heaven it was called heaven that's what he was called yeah I say Gabriel you better stop blowing that horn I gotta get to work he'll stop them off feed me some more burnings so Cole says growing up in Kansas City we like the fayat on our meat and that's what gives it the flavor man so I don't know what Stephen's doing with Cala right just a bony lady over there anyway Stephen's trying to turn from crop to meat so fast that all he wants to do is do that
Starting point is 00:35:19 as fast as possible, so I'm not surprised he did something stupid. Like, cut too much fat off the beef. God, I hate when he does things stupid. Cut two. Well, it looks like another wheel fell off the corn combine. Stephen's stupid. Fucking
Starting point is 00:35:37 Cole. My God, what a fuck up. Cole is the Jacks of this show. He is 100%. He's not as hot as Jacks was back when he started, but he is definitely the jacks of this show. What a lose. So we cut back to the president, and Stephen's like, well, we are behind and we had a bunch of meat to thaw to get to Arthur Bryant. So we already did 6,000 pounds to that.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Are we sick of meat yet? And everyone's like, oh, God. Well, we can't afford to lose Arthur Bryant's, okay? The crops look this good this year, right? Because Cole told me, and he's trustworthy. So knock on wood. But we're still $80 million in debt with car washes. Dad is gone.
Starting point is 00:36:13 I got Galena all over right now, because she can't emotionally handle any. anything mentally. You know what it's so hard when someone doesn't have emotional in their mental. That's a problem. Hold on. Hold on one second. I'm getting a phone call. God damn it. All right. Turns out we cut off all the bristles off the brushes in the car wash. We went too far. That's on May. We just lost $45 million on that car wash down in Kansas City. All right. I got to found out that when I told them to cut the bumpers off of the cars as they were coming into the wash, that was bad. That has ended up costing us a lot of money, y'all. I'm so sorry. I will take the responsibility for that. I'm getting a phone call from Kara down at the car wash. Okay, Kara,
Starting point is 00:36:52 you're on. Hi, Slavin. The news here is that the brisket you had to take back from Arthur Bryant, so people don't like that you attach that to the car wash brushes, and a lot of people have broken windows now, so you're going to have to fix a lot of people's windows because you tried to wash their cars with spinning brisketes. Also, we are getting some complaints that when the soap dispenses from the shooters, they're actually shooting. out some kind of animal fat. Well, I was just trying to use what we lost to try
Starting point is 00:37:23 and make up. No, I don't think that's going to work at the car wash. Okay, I fully take responsibility for that. By the way, I know we're just on the phone, but I can tell, I love your top. I love your top. I'm getting reports. You know that vacuum thing at the end of the car wash that goes onto your windshield and
Starting point is 00:37:39 looks like a robot? It's been spitting out barbecue sauce. Well, I figured after all that brisket in the fat, you want like a little something just to sweetened it up, right? I don't think I'm wrong on that one. I'm not going to take responsibility for that one. Beautiful jacket. Beautiful. Beautiful. So, um, he's like, yeah, you know, I just don't know that Galini can take it. I mean, I told her three times I liked her jacket and she didn't even hug me. So am I losing my touch or is that woman crazy? And Chrissy's like, well, we might need
Starting point is 00:38:06 to start looking for someone else. Yeah. I just, I don't know who else. I mean, who else could we trust that was a maid five years ago at our home to run our business well you know people are replaceable you may not know this i'm actually not your biological mother i was recast about five years ago that's why none of you look like me wendy malick was supposed to be playing me but unfortunately she got a better job on something called Apple TV, which just sounds like a vote for Kamala to me. But, yeah, I'm new here, but I'll tell you what I still have, and we'll always have. Burn hands, always. People don't realize that my CV is quite impressive. I was the third daughter in Charles in charge. Yes, yes, that's right. I'll just let you think about that.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Anyway, I love being on your program now, and I will get back to being your mother. I do not know how the business is doing, but I do know. because of Wendy Malick, how Harrison Ford is doing. So there's something. So Stephen's like, well, after seeing how dad is, she talked about how much she respects you, mom, and she really wants to maybe meet with you. Wouldn't that be fun?
Starting point is 00:39:27 We're on a TV show. You want to do that? And she's like, um, um, and Christy tells us, yeah, I was pretty mad about Colina. And the producer says because she was sleeping with Stephen while you were technically married. And she's like, oh, oh, no, for years and years.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Yeah. When I found out that was happening, I immediately filed for divorce and it affected the kids. It still does. It still still does. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So she tells us the Galena lore, which is that Galena was hired as the family cleaner. So she was cleaning the house. And we see pictures of Galena looking 16. Yes, on a good day. Is she there? Is Galina there? I just got so scared. Do you hear that?
Starting point is 00:40:19 Geline. Oh my God, how embarrassing. Was there a thump? I think Beeler sat on the remote control and turned the TV on in some action movies. I'm so sorry, Ben. Wing it, Ben. Okay, I'm going to take it over from here. So Galena was a young end, and we see these pictures of her.
Starting point is 00:40:38 She's like making cupcakes. She's in the kitchen. She's smiling with this creepy. with this creepy smile she's got little pigtails and christie is basically saying that like the galena's there for a long time and then when she found out what happened that she immediately filed for divorce and yes it affected the kids etc but yeah we can see that christie does not want to have a conversation with galena but we also know that christie's thinking well a man said i should talk to galena my mortal enemy and who am i to disagree with a man so guess
Starting point is 00:41:12 I'll do it. Well, yeah, I guess I have to do it for the TV show at some point. But, yeah, this whole Galena thing of being the maid. And then you see her looking all young with like literal pigtails, like smiling really big. We've never seen Galena smile that big. I mean, it was just so crazy seeing the evolution. Like she really worked her way up to be the head of the company and took over everything and the husband. I mean, girl, that's crazy.
Starting point is 00:41:37 And it's also like truly the American dream. I'm like in a way I'm so proud of Galena you know I know that sounds sick and people are going to be mad but I mean talk about hustle geez by the way speaking of hustle Beeler was literally sitting on the remote control on button while he was licking his nuts so thanks you were like Beuler get the fuck off that remote love that jacket on you by the way I mean love your jacket so now we go over to Jesse and Ali the city house and masha arrives and she's like oh god how to walk by so many people on the sidewalk city house goodness so much commotion anyway if you want me to take my shoes off and jesse's like no it's fine i'll wear my boots inside you know that whatever that what's his girl's name alley alley he's like fucking jessie with those fucking boots i just washed this floor that's what i thought too i was like thanks for giving video evidence that alley's going to use in divorce court soon to take everything from you, and rightfully so.
Starting point is 00:42:44 So, Masha is just like, yeah, so I keep shoes. Look, I still have shoes on. And Allie's like, well, we did take good care of your car, Masha. Why is it everybody's job to take care of Steve Sr.'s affairs? Like, it's just ridiculous. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:43:04 So we go out to see the car in the garage. She does indeed have like a Porsche SUV thingy, and the back of it is. so dirty. Steve's the kind to just drop off a muddy car. You know, that's so Steve senior. Yeah, I was, that's what I was thinking to is that I was more offended by how dirty this car was. And I say this is someone who currently has a very dirty car, but I have intentions to clean it. I don't think these guys have intentions. And if anything, Steve is, doesn't like, not Steve, doesn't Jesse say like, yeah, I put a smiley face in the dirt in the dust or something.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Like, yeah, it's filthy. I mean, you own car washes and you can't wash your girlfriend's car. before you deliver it. Yeah, that's what makes it really hard. That's not much that man respects you, you know. So have fun with that, Masha. That's how bad these people are at business, that they literally are complaining about being in debt and are doing nothing to promote their stupid car wash on this show.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Exactly. Like, show them being like going through the car wash because I treat my women right. And that's why I wash the Porsches I gave them before I give them back. That's right. So Jesse and Ellie, I'm sorry, no, Casey and Ellie go to have a conversation by a fence. And as you do, you know, fences. You know what we should do? You know what we should do? Let's walk about a block and lean
Starting point is 00:44:19 on a fence. Casey's like, let's go to fences. And Ali's like, oh, thank God. I love August Wilson. You know, living here in the city, I am exposed to so much culture. No. I'm at the fence. Girl, you know, Ali has not sat and watched fences. There's not a lot of guarantees in life. But that is one. That is one. So Casey's like, well, it's real hard. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Ben.
Starting point is 00:44:47 I can't. I can't. I'm just going to. You thought better. We can move on. Burn it. Go on. Casey's like, it's real hard when Cole starts drinking.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Ever since we found out I'm pregnant, he's been a lot better to me and treating me right. But, you know, it's just the drinking that makes me mad. And, you know, I used to be able to put up with it, but I don't know if I could stay with him after the baby's born. Like, oh, okay. okay Casey I do not believe you you're having a baby with Cole of all people like come on Casey
Starting point is 00:45:18 I want better for you yeah you're you're having a baby with with a man whose name shares the same name as a as a dying energy source that is this that is the metaphor for you right now okay cool it's not coming back
Starting point is 00:45:33 so uh so now we go to a farm field uncle Jimmy and Cole are watching a cow give birth I'm like please I already watch city sliggers when I was in sixth grade. I do not need to watch another calf being born early during my pop culture. I was actually furious that I didn't get the full cow birth. They kept they were like, oh, I'm sorry, this is sensitive for TV. We don't have that in the TV sensitivity rating. We don't want to have to write it in there. We do have cursing, smoking, abuse and jacket compliments warnings. So I don't really want to add this one. I'm like, I want to see the cow
Starting point is 00:46:04 birth. Why are you making the cow turn around? They're like, turn around. You're on camera. this is a family show. I saw, I've seen my cow, I've seen my cow, my cow birthing once, actually several times because I actually watched Cid Slickers a lot because I used to love it when I was a kid. I don't need to see it over and over again, okay?
Starting point is 00:46:20 I get it. I feel bad for the calf. I mean, you got this calf that's born, and it comes into this big, beautiful world, and the first thing it sees is coal. Yeah. And then a staple gun, so they can mark, you know, they can tag it.
Starting point is 00:46:33 It's like, welcome to the world. You can't even stand up yet. You're ours. Cole's like, I sure lot the way that calf was twerking. He's like, I'm, I'm literally going to eat your ass when you're older because I'm going to cook it and sell it to Arthur Bryant's. Now, little thing, don't eat too much because you're going down to Kansas City someday. So Cole's like, wow, that cows old are. Everything's getting a little out of hand.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Oh, he's talking to Uncle Jimmy. And he's like, hey, Uncle Jimmy, you know, things got to him. out of hand in Lake Ozarks and you know why I blame that for because you know who wasn't there? Aunt Darla. Ain't Darla wouldn't there. Kind of tripped the old dark seasat.
Starting point is 00:47:16 And Uncle Jimmy's like, well, day drinking. You know, I may take some time to rebuild that trust. You know, you just got to think, how would you treat your mom? You've got to treat your mom a lot differently than you treat your brothers, your dad. Flowers help. That's what most men do when they're in the dog house.
Starting point is 00:47:32 You're getting flowers. Darla loves flowers. All right. would I treat my mom? Okay, so I guess I'll go home and I'll see Casey and I'll ignore everything she says and make her do things for me. Great. Thanks for the advice. Wait a minute. I just impregnated my mama. You did? I can't believe I did that. I'm so sick. I'm going to church. Like, come back here, Cole. Cole, stop running away from me. Flowers, cold, flowers. Cole, don't treat your mama like your girlfriend. Treat your girlfriend like your mama. Oh, this poor
Starting point is 00:48:05 guy he won't ever get it straight don't worry i'm not the biological mother so it's not incest don't you worry everyone don't worry uh wendy malick just had to go to work explain it to harrison ford why she's pregnant but you know i'd like to thank you anyway for your advice uncle jimmy tell darla hi are wendy and malick oh are wendy malick as a wendy and malloc are wendy malloc and harrison ford on a show together yeah i think they're on that
Starting point is 00:48:30 show on apple tv the therapy show oh wow that's i'm pretty sure because we keep making her we keep making winnie malick jokes they're in a show called shrinking and they play love interests okay and you know how i know because we bring up wendy malick so much for real housewives of orange county and someone was like you guys are making it sound like wendy doesn't work and wendy works but she's on apple tv with harrison for i was okay wendy yes so i've got to give wendy her her cred yeah we will always give wendy malli cred it's just Heather Dubrow who doesn't because they are bitter enemies according to us and not based on any truth yeah um so back to the office let's go to the office um so stephen uh has
Starting point is 00:49:19 he's he's coming out to talk to carra the perpetually terrified oh god this poor girl she was terrified she's like uh oh he's coming he's coming he's coming to got to go mom i got to go mom okay um hello carra so before i compliment your blouse i just want to ask you do you have the yield totals for all the trucks? She goes, yeah, I do. It's at, I'm saying this as positively as I can. Do you want a mint? I have mints here on the front of the desk.
Starting point is 00:49:46 There's for you. Just tell me. Tell me. Tell me the yield. Tell me the yield, Kara. Okay. The yield is gum. I have gum. I swear to God. I swear to God, I will never compliment your dress ever again if you do not give me this yield right now. Okay, on the count of three. The yield is Puppies, sunshine.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Carriage, trampoline parks. Hold on one second. I'm going to hold on. Let me just go into another room and crush this bottle of ranch sauce. Okay, I am back and I am calm. Please tell me what is the yield. It's 150. It's 150. It's 150. The yield is 150. God damn it. That's like 200 bucks an acre less than revenue than we expect there is no way we're going to be able to cover our loan payment with that.
Starting point is 00:50:30 You know, how could those numbers be so off? How could they be so off? How could they? It was supposed to be 150. Let me tell you something. At this rate, 150 bushels. Okay, I was told it's going to be 200, 200 bushels and the peck. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:50:42 Guess what? What? There's Nariah 200 bushels and nary a peck. Because this is 150 bushel of corn, okay? And it ain't going to make that 500,000 bushel of peck contract, okay? I am sick of it. I am done with it. I am mad.
Starting point is 00:50:56 I am cutting the fat off this bushel. I am furious. Cut it off. Be done with that. Bushal and a peck. Hug around your neck. Hug around your neck. No, Kara, I told you a million times.
Starting point is 00:51:05 I am seeing someone, although I am single right now, so I will take a hug around the neck. Okay, here's a hug. Put your arms. Okay, that feels nice. Feels real nice. I love you. I love you. Okay, back away, I can do this.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Back away. So, Cole, now, this is where Steven's like, I told you, Cole's an irresponsible, net wet, idiot. I never should have let him do nothing in this company. You're running the company, and this man went off and bought land. you didn't approve of and told you it's going to be 200 an acre and you believed him what is wrong with you maybe you're not fit to run this company because no no person worthy of running a company would believe a word that comes out of cole's mouth sir yeah mainly because all the words that come
Starting point is 00:51:49 out of cole's mouth sound like that's ho or because it's there's no lips or teeth does that estimation have any teeth in it okay it only has teeth in it doesn't have any lips it does not have it. It's only teeth. Okay, I believe him. I believe them then. Companies can't just buy farms like a Starbucks run. You don't just like buy a farm. You know, if it's a company, things have to be signed off on, like you signed off on this. Like, you don't just like surprise by a farm on behalf of a company. So this whole thing is bullshit in the first place. This whole bushel. This bushel mess. Guess what? I'm 50, 50 bushels short also. And my bushels, I mean brain cell's because of the stupid family.
Starting point is 00:52:39 So Galena has come in during this time. And he's like, I cannot believe. Cole did this. Can you believe it? I mean, bushels, pecks, bugs, snacks. And she's like, yeah, something has to change. Something has to change. She's like, not your jeans.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Those are adorable. But at this rate, 150 bushel of corn ain't going to make that 500 contract. What are we going to do? This is why Cole never said it done nothing. So then we go to Cole and Casey walking together or work in the barn or whatever. And Cole's like, I think I'll go to the plane. I'm going to take us a little honey, a little baby moon. You ever been on a baby moon in the mountains before? She's like, no, I've never had a baby. I've never been to the moon or to the mountains. He's like, yeah, she's always wanted to see the mountains. So I'm going to do it. Oh, my God. I can't believe I get to have my baby on the moon at a
Starting point is 00:53:29 mountain. So he's like, you know, I acted like an idiot. He's put up there. One small step for man. One smaller step for a little baby. So it's like, I acted like an idiot in the Ozarks, punching hills and whatnot. And I want to show Casey, I'm putting her and our family first. She's never been to the mountains before. She's always wanted to go to the mountains. She's also said she always want to go on the moon. So I've never been great with girls or moons or mountains. so I get that from my dad and I thought I can make it right we're taking we're going to outer space so he gives her kind of this half-ass like I should be better so I'm going to take you to the mountains because you're pregnant and all you know and you know account for me being drunk on the
Starting point is 00:54:14 ozarks or whatever and she's like wow I just wish there was accountability and he'd say hey I messed up but I do get to go to the mountains it's going to be magical mountains are supposed to be like hills but pointier I can't wait just can't wait. All right, little lady, I'm going to treat you right. We're going to hop on a regional flight, a state over, and go to Colorado. Oh, my gosh. I know it's going to be fun because we're going on a plane called Spirit.
Starting point is 00:54:47 They do charge extra for the baby. It's considered carry on. Probably. So, like, does your pregnant belly fit inside of this trial been? before you get to the plane are you going on a regular trip or a baby moon it's a baby moon okay that will cost an extra 25 dollars yeah celebratory personalities yeah so stephen finds cole working on a tractor whatever like anybody believes that he's like oh i just went over the yields with kara do you know how hard she hugged me i have hickies on my back that's how hard
Starting point is 00:55:25 and any chance those numbers are going to come up because we are under and we've got a six million dollar payment by November and there is no way we're going to make it even if I sold all of the mince the Kara gave me into my pocket we cannot make that yields now it's your turn to reply to me it's your line oh oh sorry uh yeah I've been tracking and we should be good we might have the numbers we need next year I'm gonna keep the combines rolling they're not gonna stop because you know what Elon Musk made combines that don't need drivers I am sick at next year. And farming, all you hear is next year, next year, next year.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Ozarks is one thing because, you know what? I went on a trip to the Ozark, but, you know, now I hear you're having, during a harvest, during a baby moon. What are you doing? Baby moon during harvest? What the fuck is a baby moon anyway? What is it? Is that where you just, you take your baby out there and you just pull down its diaper and it shows everybody it's butt? We don't do that in this family.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Well, as far as I know, when two moons love each other, Sometimes they get very intimate. And nine months later, congratulations. You have a baby moon. I just told my guys like, you know, they got to keep cutting. And I just got to go for two days because I'm trying to put my family first before I cheat on my pregnant girlfriend next week in Nashville, according to the previous. This fucking guy.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Oh, my God. Yeah. You act like you want to run the farm. But here you are putting your relationship first. You said you want a nameplate on my door. Well, I'm not taking. your problems when you're gone. Okay, I'm not going to take on your problems.
Starting point is 00:57:02 He's like, good, because you won't have to deal with none of my problems. Guess what we'll have to. Everyone else, when the wheel falls off. Yeah. My combine. It's like, you can't even deal with your own problem. So Stephen Storms off. I mean, this guy, it's like, just admit that you fucked up and try and make it better.
Starting point is 00:57:22 But it's Cole. So he's like, oh, you suck more. So then we get. Wait, one more thing, Cole. get your fucking face back right here. You stand right here. I'm going to say this to your face and I'm not afraid to say it.
Starting point is 00:57:34 You stupid melted candle of a man. I like a jacket. Okay. Have fun. Thank you. Actually, I like Stephen now. I like Stephen out. I don't know how he did that.
Starting point is 00:57:45 I don't know. So then we see Casey and Cole traveling to their baby moon desk. They're in the car. And he's like, wow, you've been in a car. She's like, yeah, it's my first time in a car. this is really so amazing. What is this? Four wheels.
Starting point is 00:58:01 This is crazy. What's that little stick you're moving? Don't tell me, don't tell me. I want it to be a surprise. Wow, look at this. A highway. I've never seen a highway before. So they arrive and they're driving
Starting point is 00:58:15 and they go to Estes Park, Colorado. Wow, the park named after my favorite actor, Rob Estes. And then they're driving and they're looking at the mountains and she's like, look. wow we're officially in the mountains now oh my god i never seen a rock that big this is the best trip i ever seen it's like casey you're you're just looking at a north face store the mountain is the other direction oh lord that's a big mountain ma'am that's a burger king okay still they're so fancy in this new country yeah she sees the mountains and you know they are beautiful as colorado but it's just funny
Starting point is 00:58:56 She's like, wow, it's so big. We're officially in a mountain. I've never seen a rock that big. Last time she's ever going to say that. I'm sure the entire trip was this. Wait, I never seen a rock that big. Wait, that rock's even bigger. I never saw a rock that big.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Wait, I never saw a rock that big. It's like, Casey, can you just wait until we watch to see the whole range? And then afterwards, we can assess which rock was the biggest. Finally, a state where she's topped by every single. sex, you know? It's the case here, just singing in a poster of Dwayne the Rock Johnson. They go to this cabin resort, which is really cute, and they get a nice
Starting point is 00:59:39 little cabin, and then we go back to Galatian, and there are sirens, guys. What has Galena done? Nope, don't worry, everybody. We had a combine going too fast and it lost a tire today, and it drove off the road. Thankfully, there was no other drivers ran, so it didn't hit any other car,
Starting point is 00:59:56 and Cole. Cole picked his worst time to go on the honeymoon. He could have been helping me here with this. Why would you trust Cole to help you with a fucking car rack in the middle of a road? It's not going to help you? You have a wheel. The size of a Starbucks drive-through has tumbled off of your enormous small penis farm machine. And it's trampled probably five bunnies in that off the side of the road.
Starting point is 01:00:21 And Cole is not going to be able to help you. You ever see those competitions on ESPN where it's like, world strongest man and they find these tires and they flip them over it's hard for the world strongest man you think cole's gonna be able to come even close to lifting that an inch off the floor does beeler turning the changing the channels again he's scratching the couch he's killing me today he's really acting he's really coaling it up over there he really is he's misbehaving it's not getting enough attention because i was also there were waiting now i'm back and i'm not petting him i reach two fucking seconds so he's like guess what i'm gonna go through the
Starting point is 01:00:53 trash and scratch your couch and turn the tv on with my butt hole He's like, I'm a cat. I'm ginger, the stolen chicken. It's my protests. We are all ginger. We are all ginger. They are way too casual about the fact that this big-ass tire
Starting point is 01:01:19 when flying off their combine. It has bothered me so much. Like, this is such a big deal. And they're like, like, wow. That was crazy. And Tessa was like, well, as soon as we crissed that hill, the whole thing slands and we start sliding. I start praying and never been so thankful for something to come to a stop before. I'm like, that is exactly what the employees at Golden Corral said when Cole walked in.
Starting point is 01:01:40 It's so funny that she said that. Thank you for coming in, Cole. It was good to see you tell your daddy. God, I've never been so thankful to watch something come to a stop before. Well, everyone, we're closed for the day. No more inventory left. so rude because he threw it out guys i'm not fat shaming cole he just went through out all their food so now we go back to the lodge it's so obnoxious of me
Starting point is 01:02:07 it really is we go that's i cross the line crossed a line whatever uh we got a cole and kC and um they're overlooking the mountains they're getting a drink they're getting some uh some some mottails and he's like well it's awesome you know now i don't know about you but I could see myself for spending forever with you, you know, I definitely want to be together, you know. I mean, you know, like basically can't you tell? I was just telling someone I wanted to eat or ass in front of everybody, you know, I mean, we're together. We're already going to be raising a kid. Might as well just be together forever. So are you proposing? You're not
Starting point is 01:02:43 proposing. You're just, they're not married? No, their boyfriend and girlfriend. So, no, this is the conversation. They're like, should we stay together? Oh, they were setting it up like they were, like it going to be a thing that's why it was like oh never seen a rock this big before it was a big teaser about like or i was wondering i was wondering why all these ring double entendres i just assumed they were married they were like oh we're the best we could do with each you know it's us no because she's trying to like make a stand of it she's strong and she's going to wait for him to change but he's never going to change and she's going to marry him anyway and we all fucking know it so whatever also casey i hope you learned a valuable lesson use a condom next time have him use a condom
Starting point is 01:03:25 Please. It's really not her fault. It's his fault. So we go to, let's see. He's like, maybe we could be together forever. And she's like, well, I mean, maybe. But, you know, I feel triggered sometimes. But, you know, because you want to go out.
Starting point is 01:03:43 And you like, you know, it would be nice if you were with me because I'm pregnant and stuff. But I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you back or nothing. And he's like, I don't feel stoked with you. That's what you're trying to say. I mean, I still go to Nashville. I still fuck other people. So, I mean, I'm fine. No, but I don't want you to do that.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Yeah, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to Nashville or fucking other people like next week or last week. Or maybe right now, this is actually just an AI projection of me while I'm fucking someone else. Listen, I don't feel stuck with you at all. I just feel disappointed with you. That's it. Okay. And you know what?
Starting point is 01:04:20 However I acted in the past, I just want to be you. and Blair forever. Without me, by the way. I just want you to point out. It's just you two are in that equation. Okay, enjoy you and Blair. Yeah, you guys have fun, not getting child support. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:36 So, um, and then we go to some, some, some, back to Gallatin. We're going to another international restaurant. This one is Cafe Verona. Oh, how's Shakespeare. I guess I should say Verona. Cafe Verona. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 01:04:53 Wow, I feel like I've been transported to Europe. So in walks, Christy, you can tell because the amount of a static cling rises in the restaurant. She walks by, every one's hair just rises up. I have a table, too, for Tadstick. Oh, I'm sorry. It's just, I'm holding a Tad Stick. I have a table for two. It's two blondes, one has dry hair, and one's a whore.
Starting point is 01:05:21 so wherever you can see this. Yes, we're under the reservation for original Targaryens. Thank you so much. So they sit down and Glenn is like, Ote's been a long time and you know, thank you for much for wanting to meet with me. I know I've been wanting to meet with you for a very long time. She's like, yeah, well, I didn't really want to meet with you. Just my boy said I had to meet with you
Starting point is 01:05:45 and I can't ever say no to those boys. That's why that turned out so well. Okay. So what's going on? What are you, uh, what's first on the slut agenda? I'm thinking of having girls just so I can tell somebody no. You know what I mean? Um, and by the way, thank you for wanting to be here. I love when she said that. And I was like, damn, Chrissy, Chrissy can get cold and I like it. And Galena says, well, I'm now realizing dong, dong, dong, ding dong to Galena, you know, after all these years, for the first time, what it feels like to be other woman. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She's Yeah, yeah, because it looks like she's going to be like, it's okay, you know, water under the bridge, but she gives her a lot look, but then she goes, that could be, and that wasn't okay, that wasn't okay, okay, okay, not okay.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Well, I feel horrible now that I am the one experiencing it. I never had times to apologize. I never gave you chance to kill my chickens, and so therefore I brought live chicken here, named Ginger, if you would like to stab it to death, I want you to be the one to do it. Please get the revenge you deserve. Let us go to Stephen's house and you could put shoes in dishwasher. Please, at the very least. Well, she goes, you know, I never had to penchant to apologize or tell you my side of the story. And I love it. She's like, yeah, I don't need you to tell me your side of the story. Okay, because the drama now between you and Masha, I mean, it's affecting the boys.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Okay, it's just not okay. If I have to hear one more time that Stephen could not attend to the car washes because he had to take you to pass the villa one more time, I just can't deal with it. Okay, it is evil. It is malicious, and I really just want the chaos to end. Okay, well, you could always get the new hairstyle. I'm not talking about my split ends. Galena just, like, smiles tightly and nods, like,
Starting point is 01:07:27 this is not what this is supposed to be. And Chris said, yeah, because now the FBI investigation is weighing on us, and Stephen calls me and I, and we talk to the morning about it, and then all day, and I'm asking you for your help. Please be less drunk and stupid, okay? Please. And she's like, you've been stressful for me as well. Well, well, unfortunately, I don't care.
Starting point is 01:07:49 So you can pull yourself together to help the boys. They need you, and that might help too. I mean, if it makes you feel better, go to the past, clean their toilets, okay? You know what? Family is everything to us. A wise woman once said, when you're here, your family. And you're either with us or you're out or maybe against us. How does that go again?
Starting point is 01:08:13 And they show, coming up next week, we see the family goes to Nashville against all the girl's wishes. And Cole, they find a woman's boot in Cole's room. Like, wait, who slept at that girl from last night? Who did it? And then they show him waking up calling him being like, ugh. So nice, Cole. You couldn't even make it a fucking week without, after your phony-ass trip with your girlfriend. Shane.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Well, I can't even believe they're going to Nashville in the middle of the harvest. Well, Cole is needed. Yeah. You know. Very needed. Fun times. Fun times. Thank you, everyone, for being here.
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