Watch What Crappens - #2965 Below Deck S12E11 Part 2: Getting Off, Scot Free

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

This is part 2 of 2Kyle gets into a pickle, mainly because his pickle gets into a lot of things. Grab some protection because this episode of Below Deck has enough bumping and grinding to require a paternity test. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hi, what happens when there's so much than crap is. Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So Rainbow and Demo are now in the jacuzzi with Fraser and they're just like talking and Kyle's like, I'm wet as fuck, I'll tell you that. And Rainbow's like, that's what she said. And Kyle's like, it's actually what Helen. It's actually Helen and that, it's, sorry, it's actually Helen that I fucked tonight. I fucked Helen in the sea, right? I fucked her in the sea for fuck's sake. And Fraser's like, what? He's like, I slipped my dick in. And Rainbow's like, dead ass. No, it was a very alive ass. And Fraser's like, well, wait a second. The husband paid for the tip. So that explains it. So Fraser's going to make it now. They got a shitty tip because he fucked this guy's wife. No. If Frank was mad that he fucked the wife, he would have gotten him fired and not giving you any tip. They're just cheap. Like, I know Fraser's going to make this

whole thing. Like, he fucked us all over. No, what he did was not good, but that guy totally would have completely not tipped you. They're just cheap. fuckers don't let them off the hook for being cheap yeah so i'm just say kyle's really gross and it's not only the fucking part you know i mean who cares like i've had plenty of whatever i've had my own sex capades that i'm not going to apologize for so i wouldn't need him to do that either but dude like at least have some secrecy about it like you fuck a married woman and you get away with it on a charter that should be exciting enough for you but then throwing her under the bus is not cool. I agree. I thought that was completely shitty. I mean, I think she's gross and

everything, but even gross people deserve some respect. I think, yeah, it has nothing to do with her being a gross. It just is also just unprofessional. Well, he shouldn't have done it in the first place, but if you're going to do it, don't announce it on TV. Like, do you want to have employment opportunities? And really what it does is he's in a position now where either he was completely unprofessional and irresponsible, or he's a liar and he's making. He's a liar and he's making up really bad lies about someone that could really imperil someone's marriage just to like have a joke so both i think are terrible and i would fire him for both situations quite yeah i think i think i think that alone is a fireable offense like walking around i actually really do like

dissing a guest and all that is not that they don't ever dis a guest but you know what i mean like trying to ruin a guest life is not cool either he could get fired that could really mess things up i think like if he if he was just doing it to be funny then um yeah that's really shitty and i think honestly the way he talked about it in the band the way he's talking about it here i don't see any sense that he's trying to take the piss out of anyone he is full on bragging there's no just kidding there's no laughter there's no there's no nothing he's like literally saying he's like saying yet he's giving he's actually elaborating in a way that's not like this is funnier and funnier he's just saying it so if he if he if he's not he if he's just saying it so if he if he if he's

If it is a fabrication, he's also showing his ease with just lying. So, yeah, I think he's shitty. Yeah, he's gross. And he's like, well, in old fairness, she slipped my dick inside of her. So gross. So then 24 hours until charter, it's the next morning. And they're like, happy birthday. Oh, my God.

Happy birthday, Kyle. And Kyle's like, thank you, brother. I'm about to shit my pants, though. Because they showed him before he went to bed, just downing large glasses of wine, too, chugging before he went to bed and he wakes up all like methie like all shaky and gross he's just gross he's sketch and he needs to go yeah so then jess is just like to think of barbie's dad sitting at home like taking off another hundred thousand dollars off of barbby's inheritance every time there's a kyle scene yep seriously so jess goes up to selain the next day and she was you sleep

She was, good, thank you. She's like, okay, I asked Barbara on a date today. Today? Yes. Yes, I did. She said yes. Surprisingly. Well, I mean, is she saying this to Saline to make Celine jealous?

Or she's saying it to Celine to, like, make sure it's not awkward. I think to make sure it's not awkward. I mean, you should tell somebody, right? That seems like they all do that. They're like, well, I'm doing this with that person. doing this with that person hope you're not man seems to be kind of the theme of the season so now kyle and dameau are watching the deck and uh kyle's saying he was rude to selain and he feel like he was right in what he said but he was probably too rude and dame was like well you can be right

and still be a prick so he's like well i also fucking smashed a girl on the beach and and didn't wrap it so i'm really worried very very worried and he's like yeah and you also told a lot of people about your, you know, oh, that Helen slipped it in? Oh, yeah, she slipped it in. Yeah, it was good. So now he's soberish. And still saying the shit the next day. Yeah. Still saying

it? Like, like, maintain like, at this point, why are you still like taking out the piss, right? So, Demos, here comes Demos, Instagram wall, because now it's his tortured past. He's like, before I joined Yotting, one of my friends, he was just manic,

like living in a squal. Like, He couldn't keep a train of thought. Still, he's reminding me of my old friend. He's still hurting on the inside. He's having sex with strangers on the beach and in the toilet. And I believe him. He's sleeping with the charter guests. I'm seeing somebody that's crying out for help.

So, yeah, I'm concerned. Not concerned enough to answer that cry for help, but just concerned enough. So stay on the side and maybe undermine him a little bit. Yeah, I'm concerned enough to try and get him fired. So Fraser goes to talk to Salane the bar And she talks about the date And he's like

Well I'm here for you Don't be upset gorgeous If you ever need a hug Just come to me old scarecrow Fraser Scarecrow McGillacutty I'll make sure No bird approaches you

While you cry on my straw You know I think now Solane gets one I mean, it's like rapid succession of like Instagram walls. Slane's like, I'm hurt. It's like a truck on my body and like the road and again, then again and again.

And like I push away and then I push away Jess. And I think if I take other decision and to stop kissing Scotty to stop kissing Demo, maybe me and Jess will be together. But I push her and I think I really like her because oh, it is painful truck. Me on road with truck running over. It is hard.

I was run by truck. So you're not upset because you like Jess. You're upset because Jess doesn't like you as much as she should. Just like you're upset that Kyle doesn't like you as much as he should. Just like you're upset that Damo doesn't like you as much as he should. Just that you're upset that everybody doesn't fucking fall in love with you because you treat everybody like crap and you seem like a nice girl. I mean, you can't just go around treating people like shit and then crying about it

and wondering why they don't like you anymore. Because you heard all their feelings, Elaine, okay? You dummy. She must have been a disaster on Love Island. It makes me almost want to watch French Love Island, almost. So, Fraser, by the way, when is that reunion? Is it what, in a week or so? When is the Love Island reunion?

Do you know? No, I don't know. No, okay. So Fraser. I've forgotten about it. Like, is that going to happen still? I think it's too late. I think they need them to, like, spend, like, a month outside the villa to, like,

watch all the episodes and get mad at each other. So would they come into the reunion all like, I'm stinking hot mad. So, yeah, I had to delete all my, like, Reddit things that I was following for Love Island because it's just too much. And I was just clogging my feet.

And every day, it was like, oh my God, you guys, Huda is so offended at how someone took her reaction in episode two. I'm like, this show's over. Like, I can't. I can't follow along as Huda gets caught up with 18, you know, hours of, or 36 hours of TV.

Like, I can't have. I really, like, it's been such a, It's been such a dream having this, like, post-Huda life where I don't have to think about her anymore. So it's going to be rough having to dive back into that, into the reunion. I mean, love the season. Just Huda, too much. Yeah, yeah, it was a fun show. But, you know, it's one of those things that just needs to end.

Yeah, I agree. Like, the reunion should have been pretty soon. But anyway, Fraser is, so now Fraser is still talking to Salain. And he's like, do you think you really like chess? She said, normally, I like a big, tall man, and he's a baby woman. She's a baby woman. Like, who could you drive? Baby woman drive truck, and he's the opposite?

He's like, so what are you doing? Why haven't you being honest with yourself and with her? She's like, well, because she was scared to like me, and now she's okay. So I don't know. Darling, the minute you have someone wrapped around your finger, you want attention from other people. She's like, oh, but I'm so disappointed because it's so late. It's so late. she doesn't listen to a thing you say because he calls it you know that's pretty obvious she just she doesn't listen

so then um demo comes to talk to fraser and he's like i don't know where to start steely he's still he's he's fucking hammered and like all the shit he was saying last night i'm not seeing this fun potty boy i see like someone in pain let's get him fired i know all right we'll deal with this together shall be exchanged blow jobs and then fraser's Just like, do I, do I think it happened? Let me turn three quarters to the camera and lean in. Do I think it happened? I don't know.

Plausible. Deniability. You're surrounded by every single other guest and crew member on a public beach. It might just have been a slip in, slip out situation. Regardless, that's inappropriate. It's unacceptable. It's horrifying. So now it's time for preference sheet meeting.

All right, Hugo, Hugo, Hugo. Preference sheet meeting in the main salon. I'll see you there in five. Okay, dun, done, done. So, all right, Rob and Denise and their friends, they all own restaurants throughout the United States. Baby back, baby back, baby back. I want my.

I want my. All right, all right. They own a three-star Michelin restaurant called Jamba Juice. I don't know if I'm familiar with you. All right. Well, I'm thinking first off the bat, what do we smell? Pizza! Money.

No, what do we smell? Money! Pizza. I love Salane going, pizza. No, it's money. Money, Salane. All right, they want to do some snorkeling. Let's see what's around that area.

The only thing showing up on my radar is Carl's penis for some reason. So the primary has requested all black and white, formal three-course dinner, where his wife would be wearing her original wedding dress. And Rember goes, aw. And it's the meal can be up to chef. And in honor of the primary's 10-year anniversary, she would like to jump off the vessel in her wedding dress in hopes that she drowns and dies because she hates her husband that much. She hopes to recreate the emotions she felt on her wedding day. Jumping off the boat? I mean, do you know, is that how you felt on your wedding date?

Divorce the man. If that's how you feel on your wedding day, don't marry him. That's a sign. Your body is trying to tell you something. And do you know how many people go on cruises and the man throws the wife overboard? This does not bode well for you, too. Yeah, I don't feel like this is not someone who's happy in her marriage because she's jumping into the saltwater with her wedding dress. She's basically saying, okay, I would like to ruin this wedding dress.

This is step one in expunging my memories of that dreaded day when I'm. ruin my life first i will destroy the wedding dress in this in this fashion yeah so then um they're gonna have a birthday surprise for kyle and the cremus it's a syphilist test um so now fraser phraser phraser goes to hugo and um they're gonna talk very seriously about kyle it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial and I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at night. I've heard y'all been needing some advice in the love department. So who better to help than yours truly?

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Everybody's celebrating. What's he going to do for his 28th year? And he's like, nothing. So now, Damo needs a meeting with Fraser as well. Dun, dun, done. So Fraser is saying, listen, the captain's going to find out what happened with Kyle. And if he finds out that I knew and didn't say anything, that could put my job on the line. So I don't know what to do.

You should go tattle on him. And he's like, I'll do it. I'll tattle on him. Yeah. And Frasier, I mean, Fras is basically like you, either you do it or I do it. He's basically pulling the Gina, the Gina card from last year on Orange County. When Gina's like, hey, Katie, remember when I told you to say this thing on camera? Well, Heather's going to find out about it.

So you better tell Heather. Otherwise, I'm going to have to tell Heather. So that's what, so Damo's like, fine. Whatever. Fuck. Okay, I will do this. So Damo goes up to Kyle and he's like, look, there's, there's no other way to say this. The Helen thing.

the primary, you spoke about it with too many people around. You got to go to hell the captain, basically. So, Kyle's like, all right, oh, I was just taking the piss out. I mean, I think it's evident. Couldn't you tell from all my joking? From all the times, I silently said, just kidding, to no one but myself on the inside. Oh, all that time you were just lying and ruining somebody's reputation for fun on camera. Oh, that's much better, Kyle.

Yeah. So he's like, well, it's going back to the cap. the writing's on the wall mate he needs to know and he's like all right all right i'll go why did you have to do this on my fucking birthday so um he goes dun dun dun dun now kyle is like so captain see now you know me i'm a bit of a loud mouth i kind of say things without thinking sometimes and on the beach yesterday with the primary we were rather close you know nothing did happen but i've maybe said things that would suggest that something did happen he's looking on shifty and still drunk and he's like well what did you say happened well i may have said i

slipped it in and just the look on carrie's face was so good it just got to carry he's like really you know i genuinely didn't but yeah i definitely said that and you know but nothing genuinely happened genuinely nothing happened i can look in the eye and say nothing happened he's like so the crew now think you banged the tartakist well that's what demo just came and approached me and said, somehow all these people who I said I slipped it in and Helen took up my wiener and put it in her vagina, somehow all these people think that I actually had sex with her. I don't know what happened. I was taking the piss out. And it definitely didn't happen. Well, dead set, I'm looking here in the eyes. Nothing happened at all.

By the way, he's not really able to maintain eye contact. He's like, look at me in the eye while I tell you this. Okay, can you see? Like, why are your eyes going back and forth, bro. You're not taking an eye test. Follow the light. Follow the light. But there's no light, Kyle. All right. Well, you know, this boat has a reputation, a reputation where people with who work in insurance and have small restaurants in the United States come on here and get shit face and kicked off and sent to the authorities. And we have to maintain that reputation. Yeah. So look me in the art, did you do it? And he's like, oh, I hope you believe me because genuinely nothing did happen so i understand your position like all right i'm gonna have a chat

with the crew now so he's like oh you're fucking kidding me why would you make up a story like that my immediate reaction is you're full of shit and you're lying and that's unacceptable i need to investigate this further get out my one-eyed get out my one-eyed magnifying glass go into ten now listen i need to make sure that you're not lying because if this imperil's or ability to bring on porn stars onto this vessel, we're going to have another thing coming. So now cabins are being divvied up. Work goes ahead. But now Hugo, Damo, Fraser, and Rainbow are all brought to speak about Kyle separately. And it's like an interview process on a lawn order, you know. So has it been the last few days? Damon's like, well, still, he's been great. He's really good. My

how lights have been doing well. My curls feel actually, let's stick to Kyle. Apparently he's been saying he banged the primary. And they all kind of cover for him, honestly. Fraser's like, you know, I heard about it last night and I don't particularly believe it,

which is a lie because you 100% last night were saying, here's the reason why we have a low tip. And then Rainbow's like, I kind of fresh it off as him being drunk and just like talking guck. And then Carrie, and then Demos like, well, you know,

the bite challenge was requesting him to go underwater with her and hold her up and he was doing there and she was just topless and but there was like always like two or three other guests around him so i don't think it really happened like you guys all know what happened stop saying this you were sure to get the he was holding her topless in there fucking demo little under my yeah and rainbow not that kyle really deserves much more but still like if that's supposed to be your bro and then rainbow's like but they were very close so i will add that and he goes like i mean i didn't even give it the time of day. I thought it was a drunken chat, but I'll keep my eye on him and probably get hard because he's very sexual. So then Salain and Barbara are working on cabins and

Saline's like what happened with Scottish and she's like, I don't know if I believe it, but, you know, he's not stupid, so maybe he didn't do. It's pretty stupid. I think he's pretty stupid. Yeah, it's pretty stupid. You're judging by Love Island standards. Yeah. And so now Kyle is sulking in his cabin and then was like it's my fault I was talking to Fraser about it earlier it's my fault and I was like no I mean I shouldn't say shit like that I was just taking the piss

I was taking the piss as was evident by the fact that I kept saying it over and over again until I got caught so then he goes checking and on Jess about this whole thing and Jess is like some people do not have that common sense people who get away with shit they love

that feeling anyway I'm going to go make out with Barbara to get Saline jealousy. I was going to say, you would know. So Hugo hopes that he's professional enough not to do it, but hope he didn't. And that's not the kind of professional environment I would like to be in either. Okay, Hugo. I love Hugo. I'm quitting. I'm quitting if he got it in. So then we go to. Hugo doesn't want to have that sort of professional environment and yet did nothing to step in once he heard any of this was happening until he was summoned by the captain. Yeah. I mean, at the very least, say, bro, even if that's true, you need to shut up or you're going to get fired, you know? Yeah. Something. So Jess and Barbara are talking about it. And now they are heading out for their date. So now they're talking about, Jess, it's like, did you speak with Soso? That's not like, why are we starting out the date talking about fucking Solane? Come on. Yeah. Barbara's like, well, I know she wasn't okay because, you know, it wasn't very nice. And like, you cannot go around and say to everyone that you don't care. You like, you're like, you cannot go around and say to everyone that you don't care. you don't feel it as you don't like you don't do anything if you don't feel it now like and then you can't go in people's lives and fuck up with everything how could i believe if you if you just say those things it's not nice it's not nice oh i understand because phrase explained to me that my actions were not following what my words were saying so i understand now that if i say

something i have to do that thing crazy crazy i didn't want it to be a thing i just wanted it to be casual because I was, you know, she'd never spoken to me about her feelings. And the only time she was ever interested in me was when I was going for you, which it was what I was doing, so it should be interested in me. And that's what pissed me off. And then I got cut off and we laugh and we have fun and whatever, but like something wasn't like there with her, you know? And that something is curly bangs. I love those. I don't know. From what we saw, Jess, you finally got sex with Solane and then immediately dumped her, even though Salain was, like, kind of in with you at that point. So, you know, wow, you're, how, assholeing Solane?

That's actually impressive. It's impressive to see. I've got to give her, I've got to give her credit. So then she's like, you know, and then I spoke with Fraser, and he explained what I did. And so Barbara says, okay, I have to ask you something. why do you think you're like, why do you think you like me? What is she saying?

Like, why do you think you like me? Why do you think you're not like me, but like, it's just like to say why. Like, why do you, what? I think she's saying, why do you like me? But she's saying, why do you like me now? And she's this way. I think she's saying, not like me,

but like, why now are you, like, is this happening? And just like, when the pressure came off of me and you, I was like, ah. And then Fraser said, you should like Barbara and I said I should and I saw you and I was like okay should I like you and then Fraser was like yes keep going you're almost there and I think I got there I think I like you I saw you fixing a bicycle wheel on your Instagram wall that's a shit answer she goes okay well let's just drink instead so they do it's like a chemistry free date it's so bad I think

just looks like a loser I'm like oh I'm so glad that Barbara's above this but then they go back in bed. They go, they go back, and Barber's in her bed, and Jess is like, can I cuddle with you? And the Barber's like, well, if you want to get in, you can get in, like, first rule of lesbian, go on one date, cuddle forever. So, sure, you start. So can all cat come into?

Yes, we did adopt a cat on the way home, so yes, bring her into the bed. Meanwhile, Salain is sleeping in the bunk above them. Like, hello, geez. Why are you not cuddling in Jess's bed? Like, this is so obnoxious. Yeah. So then,

She goes back to her room in the next morning, and Rainbow's like, where do you sleep? And she goes, you slept in Barbara's bed? She goes, whoa, she's a good color, though, so I'm not going to lie about it. I just like Rainbow's slow realization that she was trying to gain acceptance from a bunch of really obnoxious people. She's like, you know what? Never mind. Yeah, so that Razor finds out what's going on. And he's like, oh, God, you guys slept together in the cabin.

Oh, geez. So then Kyle and Kerry, don, don't, don't. Kyle's like vaping in the bathroom. He's like, oh, my God. How this works out? It's like, you're lucky Captain Sandy's not here. Oh, yeah. Seriously.

He's like, so how does it going? I mean, it's nicotine, not weed, but still, she'd be like, how dare you? Mary Time is on her way. Mary Time law. You violated Mary Time's law. Well, I could be better. Everyone I've spoken to you seems to think you're full of shit

that you were just talking shit. It's like, yeah, of course I am. I'm very full of shit, yeah. So, well, did you do it? I definitely didn't do it. 100% dead to late. No, I did not do it, Cap. I was just taken out the piss.

Taking out the piss by sticking my dick in Helen. Taking out the piss again. That was taking out the piss right away. All right. Well, with the evidence I have, I can't do anything except let you stay because boats are run on hard evidence and lawyers. All right.

You had Mariska Hoggitay in here. She cleared you. So. You got to go, don't, don't. I mean, you can stay. Dong dong, don't. Or it changed my mind there. All right.

Now, listen, I want you to stay, but put your head in. Put your head in. It's like, actually, you know what? I'm going to actually rephrase that because I'm pretty sure that's what goes into this mess. All right. Now, I just want you to promise that from now on, you're going to come clean. All right. God, damn, that's another bad way to put it.

Um, so I don't want you to close. I don't want you that close to guess anymore. It's like, fair enough. You got to draw a line. That's good. I love to draw. I've got a pad right here. It's a metaphor.

It's a metaphor. All right. As we've learned on this here channel, from now on, close your legs to married men. Do you understand? Like, all right, Captain. So he's all excited. He's like, oh, God, I did it. I did it.

I'm free. I'm free. Like I'm burned. He's like skipping out of there. Like, yes. And he's, you know, basically psyched that he gets to stay. I can't believe he got to stay. I think he should have been fired.

I was fucking crazy. I was shocked. So basically at the end of the episode, we see Kyle sitting in the interview. And the producer says, so can you tell the truth? Did it happen? And Kyle's like, was it a joke or not? Well, give him a call. I was like, see, you being coy about.

about it makes me mad because if you were taking the piss out you should really be like it was a joke it was all a joke but him being coy is like either they didn't have sex but he's still going to like relish like revel in this moment where he gets this attention at the at the cost of helen's potential marriage or he did do it and then he lied and got away with it which is also uncool like he's garbage don't like him anymore and he's a tattle tale with helen So he's kind of a piece of shit either way here. I just looked up to see if Helen has responded. I haven't seen anything yet, but I hope she does, because this is bullshit. He went on, watch what happens last night. And of course, Andy loves this shit, you know. So he's like, oh, my God, you stuck it in. He's like, I'm not going to answer that.

But he was talking about how he wants to be in porn. And Fraser was like, oh, yes, I told him he should have an only fan. And he's like, no, you know, if I'm going to do an only fan, I don't want to do it just right on the back of all of this fan. And, you know, oh, it's just doing it because it was on TV. No, I want to have an actual porn career, you know, really get in the industry. And someone in the audience couldn't stop giggling. They're like, ew. But I guess he's like into, you know, he wants to be like an actual porn star now.

And then he's like, you should talk to Bruno. Talk to Bruno, you know. Bruno did it. And actually, the season one, there was a guy who was a porn star who came on to below deck. But Bruno went from below deck to porn. So, you know, Kyle, there is a path for you. yeah it's a road that's been hoed so feel free to feel free to ride down it you know well fun times fun episode and uh thanks everyone for being here and let us know if you think

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not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pad Chadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. G, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alcalani. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. Neat. It's Ronite Feldman. Queen B, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Teleth Sun. Shannon, out of a canon, Anthony.

Please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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