Watch What Crappens - #2968 The Valley S2E18 Part 2: When The S**T Hits The Fanet

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

This is part 2 of 2The Valley reunion concludes with Janet and Jason going down in flames. Plus, a bonus read from Andy about Jesse’s girlfriend is the chef’s kiss moment we didn’t know we needed!. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. What's what happens when there's so much than crappins. Welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way, you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So Kristen's like, yeah, I told Luke, we're going to skip season two and three. And then we can move forward. And he's like, I actually don't want to watch any of that. And I was like,

woo. I'm like, season two, I think is actually kind of an important season to watch if you're going to get to relationship with Kristen. I think it's important to know about things like that. So Andy's like, um, Chris and when did you know Luke was the one? Um, well, when I would say the first six or seven months, I was like very much in tune, but I was like, I don't want to be. And it's just like what I do. I took relationship to relationship. And we didn't live by each other. It was just all the logistics. I was just pushing it away. Like, nothing's going to work. Nothing's going to work. But like, like, this is going to be super fun. And he's young. He's eight years younger than me. So I was like, then when he said, I love you,

I thought, okay, sure. I'll do this one. Well, let's just, the true answer is, when did you know that Luke was a one? When he wouldn't watch Vanderpump Rules, okay? That's when. Coral, I knew it's like the one guy on Earth who wasn't going to try and use anything he could from Vanderpump Rules against me or like any kind of fame I would get from that. So that's the one. I'll take him. Pack him up.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So basically, Andy asked him like when Luke said, I love you first. And Luke says that he said it, then he backtracked. And there's just, you have a cute story there. So then she shows off her ring and stuff. And Andy's like, wow, were you happy with them? Kristen's like, yeah, it was perfect.

It was way bigger than I told him. I wanted. I was like, well, I'm not flashy, but, you know, it's great. And Jason goes, wow, it's over four carrots, right? And then the look that Janet gives Jason when he says this was so fucking good. She just goes, like she was so disgusted that Jason jumped fence for even two seconds. he's going to be in trouble on the way home. He will, babe.

So, Kristen's like, I was absolutely shocked. I knew one day for sure, you know, he was going to do it, but definitely didn't think it was going to be on camera. That would be crazy. It actually is something we talked about before. And just not at that time. And I thought maybe like next year or something like that. All right.

Well, Luke, Danny and Nia, you really need to be commended. I mean, Kristen is known for crack in cases. You guys thought she were, and you guys were able to pull it off. Brittany felt left out that she wasn't included in the boat. for the engagement, why didn't you include Brittany knowing that she's one of Chris's the best friends? And looks like, yeah, you can't trust fucking Britney. That's why. I mean, look at Britney. Every, every piece of gossip that has traveled this season has been through Britney, which is so funny. Every time they ask like, Janet, who told you this stuff, Britney? Hey, Zach,

who told you this stuff? Britney from last season. Hey, who told on Kristen saying that she, Michelle could be racist for this Trump affiliation or whatever. Brittany. It's like it's all the name. All roads lead back to Britney, that's why. And Andy's next question is, Brittany, you ended up telling Jacks about Kristen and Luke's engagement. She's like, oh my God, worst mistake

of my life. Worst mistake of my life. How could you say that when you're sitting across from Jacks? I know. Well, you didn't do that of revenge for not being included, did you? Oh, no. Of course not. Okay. Even Chris and Luke now, I did not.

the head of revenge so jacks is like and i'm i'm so fucking sorry man i'm i'm so sorry i don't know what i was thinking i just thought it'd be fun to you know be vengeful because i wasn't invited i was the guy who was vengeful basically he didn't even say that but he basically i don't know what he kept i don't know what i was thinking we know what you were thinking you were pissed that you were on the cast trips you were going to try to ruin it yeah andy and he's like yeah i don't know i mean and they gave me jesse gave me a hard time i mean i don't know i mean i don't no, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing. I'm crazy. Well, how did you feel about Janet and Jason not coming to the luau event to celebrate your engagement? Kristen's like, I mean, that was

smart. You know, she could have come, but like, you know, it was good that she didn't. And Jason's like, yeah, I mean, we wouldn't have come like with guns blazing or anything like that. Well, I don't think it would have mattered. But, you know, since it would, they offered not to come. That was nice. Well, I mean, they were, you know, they weren't in a good place at all. And like this is the happiest day of her life and she doesn't necessarily want to see someone who she doesn't doesn't like staring at her and jan doesn't want to put on a t-shirt that has her face on it so sort of like okay the thing that makes the most logical sense is just to skip it so i think everything's okay now right right i'm smiling again and he's like well looking back was it everything

you could have hoped for a christend beyond like beyond absolutely be on i mean my initial goal was to get married in a bed bath and but it was beyond it was beyond and you know like the favorite part was like at the end of it i got to call janet a stupid whore so that was fun very very romantic as someone who never exaggerates i can say with authority that it was the best engagement in the entire history of engagements every single alien told me so i had plans to get engaged at a big lots parking lot but they're closed now so this is the next best thing andy well i had to say christin having known you for so many years on a off television you've always had a certain level of chaos surrounding you and it's been

really fun to see you more mellow no just forced to not drink for nine months you know Kristen there are just those people that no one wants to sit next to on public transportation and sometimes you look at those people and you think why can't the person in that seat and the person in that seat who are both people i don't want to sit next to sit together and give me a free seat and you two have done that. So I just, for all of America, thank you. Thank you. And Kristen keeps doing this thing that she did, she's been, she did it all reunion. She has this like really goofy laugh. She's like, oh, yeah, how much more chill now? How much virtual? Luke, he, he calms me down. It's like the goofiest laugh she's ever done. So yeah, wow, you two really

seem to compliment each other. I've already sent you those little pine cones you wear around your neck for your wedding gift. So congratulations you two crazy kids. All right, let's take a break. Okay, we're back. Fittingly, Kristen and Luke's Hawaiian engagement was capped off with a few volcanic eruptions from their friends. Jesse, did you have a plan to confront crazy-eyed Aaron or have a conversation with him before you went? Well, I did always want to have the conversation. And I kept saying, well, you know, my girlfriend called Michelle to set boundaries, but Aaron never did. And then I had this realization, well, I'm also a man. And I could call Aaron and set my own boundaries because that's what men do. They go up to other men. They put one

hand on their shoulder, another on their chests, try to keep their erection from hitting his erection and say, I'm setting a boundary right now. And then if the erection does hit the other erection, we have a sword fight. Then whoever wins the sword fight gets to mark a map. And that's how maps were made, Andy, by men. Okay, well, I'm both repulsed and slightly

excited by this story. Were you happy with the conversation? Does anyone want to make a map with me? It was a good conversation. I love that we see the clip, and he's like, Aaron, did you ever stick your wiener in Michelle? And Aaron's like, No. No. Nope. No.

Yeah. Michelle, what did Aaron tell you about the conversation when he got back to your room? I mean, he said it went well overall, and I think they got along in Hawaii. I mean, you saw the lap picture. And we saw the, we see this picture of like Jesse Singh on Aaron's lap. And then he's like, okay, well, I'm glad things are positive between you and Aaron. I mean, we're going to have to eventually move forward. And, you know, they're happy.

They want to move forward. So, like, what's the point of holding any animosity except for torturing Michelle, which is the point? The end of the day, you can have an enemy or you can have some of that you don't really like, but it's always got good Coke. So I went with the latter. Okay. All right, Kristen, you leveled an insult to Janet when you told Brittany in Hawaii that she was a fan of Vanderpump Rules. Well, being a fan of the show isn't creepy. you know but um it's like she just changed when season one happened you know like i mean there's stuff

that even that happened that i didn't even bring up like when jacks jacks brought my ex-boyfriend and i see her fucking interview bites and she's like blaming me for a relationship with that guy she was literally one of my best friends and then we see a clip of janet being like oh really and she's making it sound like that guy was a bad boyfriend when like i saw that relationship Christian, and he was in a relationship with Crazy Kristen. Yeah, not a great girlfriend moment at all. So Kristen's like,

and you're sitting there, bad mouthing me on camera, and I was floored. And Andy's like, well, did you befriend people like Sheena and Kristen to get on TV? John's like, no, not to get on TV, just to be on television sets. Honestly, I just, I want, TV as a legacy media, I just wanted to be

streaming. If I could make it onto Keecock, that would be great for me. My dream as a little girl was to make it on to VCRs. But, you know, dreams evolve as we age, Andy. So, I mean, you guys are making it sound like I have good as gold posters in my room. I'll bet you have every song released on Vanner Pump Rules on your fucking music app on your phone. You know, she does. So do I.

Well, if you were on this show trying to start fights with Kristen, I bring it up. So, John's like, I mean, would be that person to join the show, though. We'd be exactly what Kristen is accusing Janada. If we'd be on that show, like, I'd love to fight with you right now. Cornyn. Sorry. So I'm an asshole. Could you please give me like 10 of your, what were they called?

Can I please have like one of each of the prime cocktails? If Kristen ever came for me, if Kristen ever came from me and I wanted to make up there, it'd be like, and nobody love you like I'm loving you, like I'm loving you, like I'm loving you. Like I'm loving you We just start screaming It's not about the poster Every two seconds We'd be the worst

But yes, Janet is a fan But she's like Well, whatever You guys are making it sound Like it's crazier than it is And she's like, no, I think you're trying to be somebody

You're not, okay? And Janet's like, well, I mean, Sheena would have loved if I sang good as gold or head posters. She would have loved that so, so much. God, I hope she'll sign one.

Do you think she has any posters in her? In her house. I think you've developed an alter ego. Oh, I would love to be on that show too. I can really sing very well as an AI character. Shut up. That's who you are on camera.

Fan it, fan it. And Janet's like, I didn't change when we got on camera. They told me I had to stay in the same outfit that I was in, so I did not change. We were bad for a year before filming. Don't forget, I was a bitch to you on camera because we were already in a fight. She's like, John it, it's like you have an alter ego. That's you act like on camera. camera you act like someone different than when you're on camera i love that janet's alter ego is

even really boring and nobody likes it she's like you know what i'm going to do i'm going to come up with a new personality for tv and it's terrible and boring she's like you know what my new persona's going to do it's going to make really really terrible microwave food and have a low hood watch out watch out so um jason's like well there's no specific examples and dan's like well we've shed show many examples okay and how many you need jason this entire reunion is about how much janet sucks and jason's like give me one example give me one single example danie's like they are so many so jason goes oh man you guys didn't even know us before we started filming and and janet says yeah i didn't know you too basically dania and nia's like okay you weren't the first couple to come over

and meet our children. Our daughters when they were born back when it was one under one and then two under two. Come on now. Yeah, the first couple dancing out with our son in our living room, we didn't know you before we were filming. He's like, well, that was when we were getting to know each other

but, and Jenna's like, yeah, that was one time we went to your house. I've been to your house one time, okay? Just, oh, one time we didn't go to LACMA together. We haven't spent time in group gatherings together. We loved you guys. We loved you guys. You were the first friends to meet our daughters. Oh, for Christ's sake. Don't hold that over somebody's head. It's not like you could leave the house, you know? Also, shocking. I mean,

I think this is this the first time a museum has ever been mentioned on the Valley or Band of Pruals? She said we went to Lackma together, which is the big museum here in L.A. I was like, wait, they know there's a museum here. It's amazing that went to a museum basically named after her personality type. Lack. So Jason's like, well, we really hit it off. And he's like, exactly. So don't you dare say we weren't friends. You danced with my newborn.

Before filming. That's wrong. More lies. I mean, aren't her babies really young? That would make sense that they met them right before filming. I think this kind of tracks. It does track, but I think Nia wants people. But it's mean to say.

Nia thinks that relationships are real when they're not really real. There's like some fake bullshit L.A. relationships. Some people from the cast came over to meet your kids and get to know you before you started shooting because the show is about being friends. And you were like, these real friends, Daniel. Do you remember how she did the grapevine

with little Nathan? Whatever, isn't it? Little Brooks. Whatever. Well, it's like when Brittany wanted to have everyone over so we could all just hang out, like Morris, she had a pool party

and you, me, Michelle, and Brittany, we're all hanging out. And he was like, yeah, I can't stand them lying over and over and over and over again and over and over and Janice. Like, well, I mean, why did you ask me if you were welcome in my home for Ariana's birthday if everything was perfect back then? How about that? Well, I didn't say it was perfect. Because by the way, we're back to my agreement with Janet, not yes. I didn't say it's perfect. I'm saying you and I were friends for a long time. And then when you started filming, you acted differently. Well, when we started filming, you announced that I said Michelle was racist, which I didn't. And that

changed a lot for me. I just said she probably could be racist because she's a Trump her. That's very, very different. Okay. We still haven't gotten to the bottom of that. And you see Michelle gulp, you know, when she says that. She's like, yeah, you said, I said Michelle was a racist and they just cut to Michelle. She's like, oh, gulb. When she gulps, it's like a real, like, a cartoon gulp. It's like, gulp. So Andy is like, all right, Janet, on the bow. The last one why you said Danny had sexually assaulted. Jasmine, is everyone ready for this part? Because it's going to be a fun one.

Again. You just made peace with Danny and Nia in the pool. Why go there? Well, honestly, once he started talking, Kristen said, you've been attacking Danny and Nia, you've been attacking Danny and Nia. And I just felt like, I'm not attacking somebody. This guy did something pretty horrible.

And I think we need to address that. And it was serious. The thought was serious. And she thought it was serious. And, you know, I used a legal term for the definition, because, you know, I had just watched Judge Judy earlier that day, which was basically passing the bar. And I also did pass a bar and had a cocktail.

And Kristen's like, well, it had been addressed 40 times. And she's like, well, why did you bring their names into that conversation? Because you would talk to them so I was being a bitch. Okay, well, I guess the reason I was talking about Danny and Neo was because of his actions then. That's why. That is why. Well, Kristen said you were attempting to ruin someone's life who doesn't deserve it. Were you?

She goes, I guess if I'm talking about things that you did, I think you were responsible for your actions so not me talking about your actions so if the allegations weren't true that would absolutely be on me that i was trying to ruin your life but i think that you put your hands on women without their consent you have to own up to that which is true but he did own up to it multiple times he he's still owning up to it he actually did but good point he did he actually really really did it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap and's commercial Canon, I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at night. I've heard y'all been needing some advice in the love department.

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to watch Nick Cannon at night or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad-free? Join Wondery Plus right now. One's butt is sexual assault? Yes, Andy, are you just hearing that? He's like, oh, God, we need to have new rules.

Watch what happens live. Bartenders. I consult at the law firm of Dave and Busters, and it is confirmed that is the definition. And Jason's like, well, actually, it's actually battery. Exactly. Yeah, we looked it up and technically it is, but it's like, oh, not great. and it's like battery so Jason's like yeah because you're touching and assault isn't necessarily touching and battery is touching you know saying those words are so powerful battery

I mean we just invest in the shoulder power so when you say things like battery it just show up shedding so Janet's like well we don't do these things that that classify as a definition of them okay well don't do those things and Dan's like well I owned up to it though he owned up to it take an accountability and we'll continue to because that's his character and he's like basically we just had this talk in the pool the day before making up and agreeing to be in a good place and then you do this throwing these words around the very next day and jan is like well when i'm being told i'm attacking you guys i'm going to respond by attacking you guys i mean that's just how being accused of attacking goes i don't know what you

want me to say and christin's like melissa even told you shut up and jason's like um your collateral damage in this conversation because between Kristen and Janet, basically, I guess. Damning. And Danny's like, but you attacked me. And Kristen's like, yeah, Melissa's literally yelling you to shut up. So Andy says, okay, you guys know you're using a loaded term here, right? Finally, someone says it. Yeah. And Jasmine's like, well, definition. Like, she's not wrong. She's not wrong. I mean, that is the definition. And Janet says, well, when Jasmine and I first talked about this, I said to her, when I said to her when she said, He was grabbing, you know, this person's ass, Melissa's ass, my thighs, making sexually explicit comments, call me daddy. I said, you know, that sexual assault.

And she said, yes, and it's not fair. And this happens all the time to women. And none of these guys, none of these idiot men, I think you said, that's what you said, none of these idiot men, right? Justin was like, mm-hmm, yeah. Do you want to say it now also to back me up here? No, I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. Well, none of these idiot, men ever have to face consequences for it.

I mean, I'm not going to dispute any of that. I think it does happen all the time. I think it is bullshit. And I do think that guys get away with it all the time. But I'm not sure that Janet right now in this moment was the ambassador for this movement that we needed or that was appropriate for the show. And again, it's not about whether Danny or not did it or not or whether it was right or wrong. She's making it about that again. But it's not.

The question is, why do you keep bringing up over and over and over and over and over and over again every time you need something in a fight? Like, Danny wasn't even in this fight. And, like, ultimately, Kristen did 100% bring Danny and Nia into this fight on this boat. Like, they were having a talk and Kristen brought that up. She inserted it in. She is in many ways responsible for resuscitating this whole thing. But Janet, even if she felt all these things, because she's basically saying, like, oh, like, like you're saying I'm attacking them, but like this guy did something like that. She, in the interest of actually trying to make things better, I think she should have said, I'm not getting in.

until the Danny and Nia thing, you know, because it's already been talked about to death, including right now, but it's been talked to death. And if she had a genuine interest, I think, in rebuilding that relationship, I think she would have said, she could have still maintained her feelings. It was not that it's not saying that she would have to suppress her feelings. It's saying my feelings on this, I'm not sharing it with you, Kristen, because you are my enemy right now. And like, is it worth having collateral damage on someone you're trying to repair it with?

just to make a strong point to someone you don't like, is that really worth it? I don't think so. This show's exhausting me. So Kristen's like, well, you're trying to make them look bad. Jan's like, well, we should definitely sweep

that behavior under the rug. And everyone basically is yelling at her. Like, we're not sweeping it onto the rug. We've talked about it. Nine billion goddamn time. The rug is whack. The rug is whack. Black rug.

Whacked. So, Jesse, it's like, the only person that should be able to say what it was is Jasmine and Melissa. that and Janet goes, well, and Jasmine's agreeing with me. Look at her, Jasmine, agree with me. Jasmine's like, no, yeah, no, yes, no yes, no yes, no yes, no yes, no, that's why malicious shit, stop talking about it, Janet.

Nobody wants to, I think Jasmine is having, having an episode over there. So Janet's like, and after she asked me to stop talking about it, other than when I've had, when I've had to in interviews, I apologize to them and I have stopped. And Jasmine's like, yes, and thank you for that. It was like we were, or are we ever going to get past this? Because now I'm getting angry, and it's going to make me angry at Danny all over again. Should I get angry at Danny again? Should I set us up for season three, everyone?

Danny, we need to have a talk. We need to have a talk. Okay, we're going to have a talk. Sandy's like, okay, by a show of hands, who thinks Janet was being reckless in using that term? So everybody, but Michelle, Jacks, Janet, and Jason raise their hands. And Jasmine and Brittany kind of have to. Well, Brittany's kind of trying to be noncommittal because she's like playing with this strap on her dress or something.

So she's like, Oh, well, I'll raise my hand. And she can tell the other side of the catch. I didn't raise my hand. I was messing with my dress. That was the most awkward question I've ever heard in my whole life. My life. Oh, you're a cool guy.

You're the coolest guy I ever met my life. So, Jasmine's like, she's like, I think she was coming from a good place. But at the same time, I think it just went wrong. And Chris is like, I want to know what you were trying to accomplish. Okay. She was coming from a malicious place. What were you trying to accomplish by saying the word I repeat? Who were you trying to destroy?

And Janet's like, what would you have preferred, groped, molested? Like, what word would you have preferred? And he's like, molestate. What's molested? This is like literally, this cast has not learned. This is the dumbest thing to keep bringing it up with Janet over. Just let it go. She's going to make it worse every time.

She's like, what would make it better? Should I say gropes, molested, rate, you know, bang, hand-banged. I mean. Hand-sweffered. I mean, what do you want me to say? Maxwell. So, Jasmine is basically like saying to Zach, like, I think she's trying to help be a good friend, but I don't think it's, I don't think it's working. So, he's like, we need to clear this up.

And then he's like, okay, okay, Jason as an attorney, is this defamatory possibly? Worker's comp attorney. Like, give me a break. That is a paper pusher attorney over there. I'm so sure. We've seen Jason's attorney skills during this reunion. But okay, let's go with it. So Jason's like, all school.

What? I also also lost school. Yeah, that counts. She's like, you're a fucking workman's comp attorney. give me a break and Andy's like well nothing could happen in a court of law

so you had pressed charges for touching his ass and he said well I mean I doubt the DA would pick it up because there's not really a lot of damages you know it's like a bad thing happened but it's not like you know he'd do jail time or anything like that

and Janice just like Andy is like home dead or Jason God everyone's name is so basic on this show I get I'm confused so Andy is like so then if it's no jail time no damages

Why would you use the term? Thank you. Thank you. Because she's an evil person. She's an evil person. And I told Danny, you should study her next time. You want to hide in the grates and try and get method for her role. She loves to hurt people.

She loves to hurt people. And she loves the drama. And she loves the attention. That's what she loves. Okay, Nia, you wanted to say what? I just think there needs to be clarity because there are words. and things that are thrown around that are not true. You've said multiple times,

this has happened multiple times over and over again. And when you say multiple times, like I'm saying, multiple times, multiple times, just in this paragraph, you're literally trying to assassinate his career as a person, his character as a person multiple times.

So to put things out there that have not happened or not okay. And if I have to say this multiple times, I will say it multiple times. John, it's just like, okay. Well, you know those words can ruin. And she goes, yeah, well, there's lots of words that have been dropped among this cast that can ruin people. I know, okay, so now she's switching to the victim. Stop the fleckin, Janet.

Green Bean can destroy a person's career in the right contexts. Just think about it. Think about it. Well, you said that Michelle was a whore on camera, Danny, and he's like, I didn't say that. He never said those words, another lie. Well, you said I heard that Michelle sleeps with a billionaire for a 1,500 a night on camera. Is that not damaging her reputation? him? No,

which establishing it. I mean, I never shed a whore. Yeah, you're lying, Janet. Putting bad words out there. And so then Jason's like, are we not allowed to paraphrase? You learned that in law school, too, by the way. Great argument. And Michelle's like, she is saying this is

damaging for everybody. Google my name. Now it seems that I'm a hooker. Now, we all agree it was shitty that Jesse said this and maybe Danny shouldn't have brought it on camera. They'll be claims you didn't remember there was a camera. I don't think if you look up Michelle Lally, we're not going to find like a porn hub page for her or some sort of escort service. I don't

think anyone thinks Michelle's a prostitute and I don't think it's like out there as like a massive headline everywhere. This was what Jesse did too. I mean, Danny brought it up on camera, which wasn't cool. But again, they all do that on these shows. And that's what Jesse did by putting in the group chat. He wanted it to get on camera. I mean, he knows that Janet that Danny or Jacks is I think he dropped it for Jax to say something, you know, but Danny beat Jax to it because Jacks was in, you know. Danny fell into the trap. I mean, he definitely brought it on camera.

So, Kristen says, she's like, Daniel never said Michelle's, oh, I love when Kristen's calls him Daniel. To show complete alliance with Nia, I will call him Daniel at this moment. Yeah. So Jason goes, okay, prostitute. Janet goes, yeah, Danny said that she's sleeping with men for money. No, she said that Jesse put that in the group chat. You twist her. Well, what a bunch of dumbasses.

They're just dumbasses. I can't. Oh, but you have all this wrong. It's wild. It's wild, Janet. Y'all I feel stupid listening to them talk. All right, all right. Let's move on.

Speaking and feeling stupid for listening people talk. I need to wrap up this reunion. So let's move on. Okay. So, after the gang returned home from Hawaii, Michelle, through a zen party, but all the coy fish and bonsai trees in the world couldn't bring peace to this chaotic friend group. Brittany, the last time we saw you and Zach together in the show, he was screaming at you. Do you guys want to fight some more for us? Oh my God, I love Zach so much.

We're like best needs. You know, I love you, Zach. I love you so much. You know, like we talk all the time. Like every day or every other day or like five times day, every day, every day. Because I love you, Sack, you know, nobody loves you more than me, friend Taitnoy, friend Taitnoy. So you two are good? Oh, yeah. I love him. My best friend in my entire life. Okay. And he's like, so you've been buddies for what? Like 20 years? Can we just destroy it? I mean, I don't understand how you guys have a friendship for 20 years and you're on Bravo and hasn't even crumbled yet. What's going on here? Well, the way we met is I used to cheer for E KU. Go EQ, go EQ. And our mascot is Emu, which is real fun.

AQ. Emu. We gave an honorary degree to Ack and Sue the other year. It was great. She actually dressed up like an emu for EKU. Ekinsu was the great day. And one of my friends that cheered with me. He dated. Zach.

And Zach's like, you dated a cheerleader? Yep. And then me and Zach's day best friends eventually. And the other guy out crying. But let me show you a picture of Zach. It is so cute. This picture of Zach comes on, and can I just say, Zach's hair, even the helmet hair of last season was a great improvement

over what we saw in this picture. Good Lord, man. He's always had a Lego Man fetish. This was all combed straight down and shellacked straight down. Like he looked like another version of a Lego head. It was awful. I forgot that Zach used to look like that because he used to pop up in Christens, I mean, in Britney's photos for years, just when she was on Vanderpump Rules.

I was always like, who is that gay with the strange bangs? And, yeah, I forgot he has really, he has made things better for himself, for sure. Yeah, definite improvement there. So, Danny, Jack, stopped inviting you to things. Why do you think? He's like, well, I think he did it because he wanted to be able to talk behind my back and say things like, Danny's not here because he's drunk somewhere when I was literally at home putting our kids to bed drunk so i guess i guess i was somewhere drunk all right is that why you said

you heard that jackson slept with the staff at the bar you all have heard that rumor right and jacks who i mean what's staff member i mean tell me who i've had you know what i've got like two girls that work there three people who worked there i mean who could who could it be i'm like you're really narrowing the field actually jacks you're making the rumor sound actually better There was a rumor about one of them. I figured that one wasn't true, you know, unless there was another girl I don't know about it, but there was definitely rumor.

There was a rumor. Yeah, yeah, there was a rumor, but I never slept with my staff. I don't, I don't do that. I mean, blow jobs, sure, but sleeping with, nah. Okay, maybe once, maybe twice. All right, I slept with all of them. I mean, not that big of a deal,

but I don't know where you hear these rumors from. Well, I heard from some of your friends that go there quite often. Oh, well, we make jokes, about it because it was in a bar so like we make jokes that I fuck everybody but you know it's just a bar that's what you do at bars all right all right what you do looks like well uh you came in with one of your ladies to a bar where i was at and i don't know if you guys went home or banged or not but you know we were we were having mixed something oh what what what should

look like what what what girl what what what what what she what should look like yeah was a girl from the bar but blonde what blonde yeah blonde blonde girl big boobs going down and you right in the middle of the bar. It was really awkward for everyone there. You don't remember that? Well, Jack's Taylor should not own a bar. He's got a lot of issues. All right, Jesse.

I heard that even though she wanted to do nothing with the season, your girlfriend came to Michelle's Zen party. Oh, my gosh. How did they not get this on camera? That girl showed up? Yes. It sounds like they did. And then she probably issued some sort of like,

you know, cease and desist. Because Jesse is like, yeah, At the end of the night, I was supposed to be at a birthday dinner for her at Chateau. And, you know, she called and said, are you guys done? And I said, yeah. So she came by. She left her own birthday party to come to our shoot, which everyone would totally do. That totally makes sense, right?

My story pans out. That is weird. She was at a birthday dinner at Chateau. Well, I guess they shot late. So she came after her thing. So Michelle, how were your interactions with Jesse's girlfriend? And Michelle, like, totally, by the way, illustrating why she's on the end of the couch. I mean, Michelle, this reunion is just like, are you dogging, do me?

Yes, Michelle, how did you react to the girlfriend showing up? Not very well, but I cannot disguzz it because my lawyer told me not do disgust. Yeah, that's what lawyers do. As a lawyer, let me just tell you, sometimes a lawyer will come in and say, please don't discuss that. I'm a lawyer. Shut up, Jason. Well, I heard that you had a massive screaming match after the cameras went down, the sort of screaming match. We would have loved to have shown on Bravo and put in all the trailers, but we couldn't because of this bitch gave us a season desists.

Yeah, she told, she's, she's old, like, not talk about it because of her threats, okay? That's what, that's what Michelle is doing. She because of the girl's friends' threats, and that's why she's not wanting to talk about it right now. I don't know if she'll ever be able to talk about for the rest of her law. Can we not do this in the next season? Like, all this is talking about illegal bullshit? There's such bullshit. Uh, we're not, we're not going to talk about this because she's not here to defend herself.

okay guys and everybody knows that i jesse lolly am nothing if not a gentleman thank you so andy is not happy because clearly there's some good ass footage that they can't show and he knows about it and he doesn't like jesse doing this thing of like she's not here to defend herself well i know but she did show she showed up at an all-cast event and then she made a legal threat so and it was very clear that everybody was dill filming erin was dill spinning the Honey-Zine around and around. Well, they picked up cameras and put a boom over our head. As soon as she walked in the restaurant, as they should have.

And this is where Andy goes from, like, smiley TV host to like angry TV executive. And he's like, as they should have. They were doing their job. And if your girlfriend shut up today, you know what I would do? Stick a mic on her and get her in there. This is a hot set. This is a show called The Valley. That's your girlfriend.

I want to talk to her. Bring her out. Let's get her on the phone. You understand? Yeah, I love the pause. He goes, I get her on the phone and Jesse's like, okay. You understand? It's like, whoa.

The you understand was great. It was because Andy's 100% right. This person went to a taping a lot. It's a hot set, as Andy said. Like, it's active. Even if the cameras are down, those cameras will always come up if given the chance. Like she went there and then she's all of a sudden like, oh, no, like don't film me. I'm giving a cease and this says, oh, get over it, lady.

Stop it already. And she's angry that people call her litigious, and this is what she does. I've had enough of her. Yeah. Well, now's for some final thoughts. Okay. You know, reunions are really about love and finding a way forward. All right, everybody.

So, Michelle, now you have another chance to say something nice about Jesse, which you refuse to say in Santa Barbara. She's like, well, he is a good father. And I never wanted to dig Isabella away. I did want to ask her to get a job to help him pay his rent so she wouldn't be homeless is out of the dime. But, you know, Zing, all the moments you guys have together on Gamra is very dodging and I, Michelle is really out of batteries. So let's move on. Let's change the question because that one sucks. Okay. Jason, do you feel resolved? He's like, um, well, it's tough. You know,

I wanted things to go differently. I wanted people to hate Janet less and I think everyone hates her more. I feel America asking us not to sit at their lunch table. right now. And as a lawyer, I object. Zach, do you have anything you want to say in the group? Um, first, did I have to really be on this side of the reunion? I hated over here. Also, um, I mean, I think at least one person, Janet, I feel like if you can take accountability for the things that you've done, and I'll take accountability for the things that I've done, which is nothing, and we can move forward and make Britney's life just a little

bit easier. Yes, please. I would love it. Okay. Maybe we can start by unblocking. each other on socials and Janet's like, um, he is unblocked. Oh yeah, she blocked me, but then I blocked her. Whoops. Sorry. Yeah. But you want me to unblock you now? Because I'll do it now. I'll do it

right now. So they unblock each other and Jason goes, oh, does anyone care that I have Zach blocked? He goes, oh, you do? I didn't even notice. Who's missing those sponsored docker's posted? Nobody. So, or docker's

posts, I should say. Well, all right, Jacks, congratulations on your sobriety, might I add, L.O.L. So I hope you keep building on that nothing that you've established. Okay, where's your headspace as you leave tonight? And why is there a black car waiting outside from you from a guy saying, get outside with the money or I'm leaving? You know, my main objective was just obviously just talk to Brittany and just move forward and be peaceful to each other and be amazing co-parents for our son.

And just be peaceful and you know I've done a lot. I've done a lot and I'm hoping that she could forgive me one day I'm not saying today if she could do it today. That'd be great if she doesn't she's sort of a bitch for not. I don't know But we have we have you know we're going to be in each other's lives for a long time and it's a lot and I just hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me one of these days. I don't know I'm work in progress guys work in progress. I love that jack's final line on bravo is begging for forgiveness as usual as fucking usual. Well, So I had a good start, Britney? She's like, I don't know. It's hard, because it's going to take a lot for him to prove me that he's actually changing. You know what? I'm sorry, but I need to feel pretty, okay?

I need to feel wanting. I need to feel like I'm a good-looking lady, okay? Maybe Daytonoy. Maybe. All right. Well, it is tradition to end with a toast, but with two new babies on the way, tequila shots didn't feel like the right move, so we were doing vodka shots instead. Okay, everyone.

What was that? Oh, mocktails. All right, that's lame. In baby bottles, just to torture Lala. Okay, who in the group is the toast giver? And so Jason goes, actually, it's Brittany. Oh, fuck. That really backfired on me.

Okay, Brittany, you have the floor. All right, Brittany, bring us out with a toast. And she's like, oh, no, do not eat toast. Put the toast down. Put the toast back in your purse. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, guys. I just want to say, everybody, I love you so much.

I love you so much. Everybody, you're all good people. I love you so much. You know, because we're all good friends. This is hard. It's hard what we do. But, you know, we do it. And we're people.

And people are people. You know what? Drake night. You know what? There are good ships and there are wood ships and there are ships that sail to sea. But the best ships are like the ships where you can, like, go on like a cruise cruise around not only have both your friends right okay well may this upcoming year be the best days of our lives cheers everybody i hate all of you please recast this show god you are insufferable

idiots and he looks like he fucking hates these people she went he was miserable miserable well i appreciate his sacrifices i appreciate everyone sacrifices and uh thank you everyone for being here for the valley and I'm excited for what else is coming down the pike on Bravo's schedule like you mentioned before it's a little thin right now like Jacks's hair like my hair sadly I can't really punch down like that but what I will say is that clearly Bravo's going to have probably schedule turnover very soon they usually start new stuff in September can't wait to see what that's going to be but in the meantime stay tuned for our recaps of Miami and OC later this week and thanks everyone for being here

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