Watch What Crappens - #2974 Below Deck S12E12 Part 1: Docked Over

Episode Date: August 19, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!Below Deck gets stuck on the dock with a broken engine, which means di**ed over guests, which means sad poor crew. Also, Kyle gets messy drunk again and blames all of his bad choices on Fraser. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello, everybody, and welcome to what-what Crapins. I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there. Hello, Benoony. How you doing, babes? I am just fantastic, Ronnie. How are you? Good. I'm just enjoying this lovely Tuesday here to recap below deck. It's a lovely day to talk deck.

Let's talk about deck, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about deck and me. All the good things that you, all the good things that. And the bad things. Things that could be, let's talk about. Bad deck. Welcome to the show, everybody. Thanks for everybody who joined us at Amazon Live yesterday.

It's every other Monday at 4 p.m. on Amazon. That's where that's where it's at. And the Mondays we're not doing that like this coming Monday, next Monday, we'll be doing crappy hour at 5.30 p.m. Pacific time over on YouTube. You can also usually catch that on Instagram or Patreon. It's a free Patreon post if you just want to look there. Also, we have videos every day on Patreon of these recap. So if you'd rather watch these crappins on demand on Patreon,

that's also where you get our bonus episodes. So thanks for everybody who supports us over there. If you don't want to do Patreon or it's not in your budge, we get it. You can get videos a week later over at our YouTube channel. Okay. So go do that. Watch them over there. We don't care.

We're not tracking you. Okay. We're just appreciative that you're here part of this beautiful family. Okay? That's so eloquent. So guys, guess what? Today we're stuck on dock.

Stuck on dock for misadventure. All I want is to give people adventure. Today I can't. Honestly, I was happy that they were stuck on the dock to have an episode where we didn't have to watch them go through that fucking bridge on St. Martin that they need to demolish and rebuilds that way it's easier

for cruise ships to go through. I mean, why do we have to be subjected to that misery every single week on this show, watching these boats nearly scrape themselves up going through a tiny tiny bridge that was never even seems to be meant for yachts? It was like meant for canoes. Why do they do that? I can't stand

it. So for the fact that they were stuck in where they were and didn't have to do any of these bridge shenanigans except that one moment go under the bridge, which I supported. I was very happy about that. Also, I'm not going to lie. If I were on a yacht and we couldn't go out to see, I think I would still be like really okay with it because you're on a yacht. I mean, it's still awesome. You're being weighted on hand and toe. Is there any difference between being on a yacht and being able to see, I don't know, a beautiful Caribbean country outside your window versus like seeing ocean? I don't

think so you're still in the same space you're still in the same physical thing that you would have been in the middle of the ocean except you just happen to be on land by land oh no i'd be pissed because you're not just it's not like you're out in the middle of the ocean like they don't go that far out they go from little island you know they go from fun place to fun place so they were also robbed of all the different fun places that they dock and you know all the i don't know fun i wouldn't be pissed well maybe frankly i wouldn't do what they did where it's like ask take money from the servers that the crew didn't do anything why are you taking money out of the tip you should refuse to pay for the charter if the boat's if you

have a charter and the boat's broken then the boat doesn't get paid that's what i say i would have said i'm not paying for this fucking boat i'm going to give the money to the the people who actually get me a decent vacation you know yeah because the service was still doing the service like you were still receiving the service i mean although that being said it seemed like they were also a little inept i mean they they took forever to get like they never even got those jet skis out and everything and i don't know why they didn't offer them like get like a van and like drive them to like the Dutch side of the island or the French side, whichever side that they weren't on, why not do that? I don't understand that. But I also just think

that like, I don't know, I think I'd be happy just being on a yacht that didn't really go anywhere. Uh, you know, obviously I wanted to go someplace, but I think I would also be like, this is pretty cool. I'm in like in a luxury environment. So I want like, I'm just mad at that guy with his like Susan Sontag splash of white hair in his bangs, you know, for being such a dick to this crew. Well, I just watched that movie, The Humdingers? No, the Wildcats.

The Marvel, the New Avengers, stupid movie. The Wildcats? Is it, wait, the... Wildcats? What's it called? No, is it called like this? The Essentials.

The Thundercat. No, the Thunder... The Thunderbolts. Thunderbolts. Yeah, the Thunderbolts. The Thunderbolts? Yeah. The New Avengers.

Yeah, that was kind of dumb. I don't know where I was. came up with the essentials oh i think i was thinking of the eternals and then i thought of the essentials the eternals needed some more essential oils i'll tell you that movie needed because they were that was the old ones they needed they were all crinkly they needed some essential oils that one was stupid too but no the thunderbolts um anyway the villain was stupid i can't believe it yeah i know i was so shot uh julia louis dryfis was the villain and she has like that shock of white hair so i kept thinking of her with this character i was

Like, you're a real, you're a real Julie Dreyfus in that TV show she was in, like the vice or whatever. But, Veep, God, how old am I that I like this now? I'm like, in that movie Thunder, Thundercats, and then, you know, that girl, Julie Andrews from the TV show about being a mayor called Vice. Like, Jesus Christ, old lady. But also, he was kind of like Kyle Mocklehan from Twin Feat, right? He gave me McLaughlin. And he was very like,

we really appreciate the cruise, but we really think that if there is a discrepancy, then we shouldn't be able to tip. Well, get it out. Spin it out, facelift. Mm-hmm. I'm sure a lot of people would have the same thing to say

about whatever restaurants you own, sir. So I guess we should get into this. So previously, Barbara and Jess went on a date and continued a love triangle that is really one of the dullest things we've seen in quite some time. This trio, this trio of pussy that's happening here. So then three hours into childhood. Muslimism just goes so quick, you know? I mean, we were robbed of like a whole two years of fun in straight relationships. Because I feel like when we see straight relationships on Bravo, they're very like, catch me.

you know, catch me if you can't. And then it's like, you're together, but are we together? And do I still like it? There's a lot more of that. Whereas I feel like the lesbian version is like, okay, I'll sheet on you with a million people and not really be sure. But then once I am sure, it's like, boom, we're married. We're there. We're cuddling.

We have children together. Yeah. They're just already very boring. It's like they're both like, they're like, can I get in your bed and we'll read to each other. We'll read each other's Kindle. Oh my God. They're like act one and act three, but they don't have an act two. Yeah.

Yeah. They're already like making jam on a farm, you know. That sounds great. So it's three hours ago. You're basically a lesbian. I know, I know. And Saline walks by Hugo and Jess in the deck. And Hugo is asking Saline how she's doing.

And Celine's like, good. And then Hugo's like, good. And then Slane just keeps on walking by. So they're like, oh, God, she's being really cold. morning. It's like, yeah, she's being really cold. I'm making, making me wonder, I wonder if the consequences of my actions is that I made her cold. I did this to myself with my actions of how I treated her and I need to learn to accept that. I need to learn that if I want to like someone that I can't do these things because they will be cold to me in the morning and I'm learning that now.

Hugo is a pretty boring person and he's new so he's I think escaping our wrath so far but I'm not liking Hugo this episode like Hugo is giving a lot of like hey honey you should smile more energy like what the fuck what was she supposed to do give you a fucking parade you said hi as she passed by she said hi back what do you need Hugo what do you need and I don't need you coming after the chef you're not in the position yet while you're sitting there eating your combos whatever the fuck you're eating down in the mess all night taking out the trash to be giving attitude to anybody sir yeah i did not like hugo this episode i feel like we saw more of his true colors i think he has been um obscured by the stupid love love triangle

and with all of kyle's nonsense but now he's now we're seeing him and we see who he really is and i don't like it so then speak of not liking then we have damo who also is not great and kyle who's also they all these people suck so demo is talking to kyle They really do. He's talking to Kyle in the Lazarette, which what, I don't even remember what the Lazarette is, but that sounds, Lazarette sounds like someone who might be like on the new real housewives of London, because everyone's talking about the real housewives of London. Because there's someone named Panthea on there.

So I feel like there should be someone like, I don't, I adore the queen mom, but that doesn't mean I'm keeping, mum, about anything. Lazarus. Or it could be like Lazarus, but a woman, you know, like, I'm the only person who is 170 years old and has been brought back from the dead, and I'm not scared of anybody. Bitch! Lazarette.

They say all save the queen, but guess what? The queen is me. The queen is me. I knew Jesus. A sister tagline. She's like, I knew Jesus. Lazarite. They're like, Lazarette, could you give us something, wittier?

What more wit do you need? I knew Jesus. Like, we know Lazarite, okay? I love that Lazarette is like the Toadette version of the Bible. Like, well, we have Lazarus. So why we make a Lazarette? Come on, let's make the Bible fair. So, dear.

It's like a major overhaul of the Bible. giving everyone an et Abraham Ed Bozette The least The least creative Renew name

Ramzette Faro Ramzette Gisette Gisette Mariette Marriette Marriette Bonvoy She's already a lady

Let's make Mary a double lady Let's give Mary double vaginas. Let's like have her lean into her femininity for this all-female version of the Bible. Okay, so Damo and Kyle are talking and Kyle's like, oh, I'm good. You know, I'm just trying to keep me head down, you know, I'm not saying anything stupid, you know, because I'm not supposed to talk to anybody or do anything. What am I supposed to do here and just stand here? I can't even talk to the guests. Yeah, Kyle. I don't think it's not, you're not allowed to talk to the guest. you're not allowed to stick your penis inside of them you understand why are you making it sound

why are you making it sound like someone said you can't speak to the guests it's like he's doing that thing where he's like complaining but then pretending like he's taking responsibility he'd be like well no i can't even can't even hang out with the guess i just have to stand here by the side even though i'm so good with the guess i'll just stand here by the side but these are the consequences to my actions so that's what it is i'm like So you can't just add that asterisk on. We know you don't believe it sincerely. And like, why are you surprised?

Because you either fucked a guest or you lied about a guest on TV. And either way, like, you should be reprimanded and really fired, to be honest. Wait a minute. Are we discussing the consequences of our actions? Because I've brought some snacks. I would love to have this conversation as well. So, Damo, speaking of taking false responsibility for things or falsely acting, falsely acting like you're taking response. You know what I'm trying to say.

Demo is there like, oh, just wanted to say, mate, it feels so guilty for talking to Frasier. And to prove how guilty I feel I'm going to put my arm up here and give you my own pit here. Talk to my own pit here. Feel real guilty for talking to Frasier, mate. And he's like, I get it, mate. You know, it's just one of those ones where I knew you weren't doing it,

mal, malice, you know the word. You know the word. I knew you weren't doing it maleficently. And so he's like, yeah, no, I don't. So I just want to make sure that you know, I'm all sweet. And he's like, yeah, no stress, mate. It is what it is. So then Kyle tells us, well, you know, with his arms, like, he's got his arms crossed

and he's shaking in his chair and the confessional with that, like, that's still undisclosed black eye that he has. Like, he's had a scar around his eye all season. Like, it was, like, bruised up in the early in the season in the interviews. He clearly got onto a fight. And he's like, well, it's a wake-up call in a professional sense. And also in like, I trust all the people. You know, he could have just kept his mouth short.

He's not got a good track record anyway. I mean, it just proves that I've got to watch where I get my lines is. Or you don't fuck up in the first place. I mean, yeah, like, Damo, for sure, was being ratty when he told Fraser, he knew he was escalating it and he was being gossipy. But Kyle also told, like, he mouthed off about this to like half of the boat. This was not something told in confidence. Like, he said it to enough people that it was going to get around anyway.

And so I just think it was, but, you know, Damo is supposed to be his like little bestie on the boat. And Damo, Damo did be, Damo straight up did betray him, I think. But it's hard to stick up for, because Kyle was so in the wrong. It's like, I just wish there had been someone else who betrayed him. But I don't like Damo, like, running to Fraser and doing it like that. You know, I thought that was a little weak, but at the same time. He doesn't stand in it. He doesn't stand in it.

He's not like, well, I honestly. I went to Fraser because I thought it was messed up and I felt like I had to do it. And as much as I love you, I have to like, I take this job seriously. Instead, he's like, oh, Fraser, guess what I heard. Oh, Kyle, sorry. I didn't, I shouldn't have done that, you know.

Yeah. So now Fraser's in the galley with chef and he's like, chef, the lunch. Do we have lunch coming? He's like, oh, the food for the menu. I'm doing like a summer salad for them to be octopus. If the octopus gives me one piece of attitude, I will slam it to face because.

I demand respect. I'm badass chef now. Maybe I was beat. I was telling octopus. Maybe I was beat up as child. But now I killed you. I killed you, octopus. You want a piece of me?

No, I'm going to have a piece of you. You want it? He's like throwing rags against the wall. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that's his whole thing. I am badass chef now. I can punch switches on walls and also throw tea towels at stoves because I am badass.

And this trip is going to be very challenging for me because we have a lot of restrictions. and I had a flashback. Here I have a flashback to remember last year when there were a lot of restrictions and it like really messed me up and oh my God there's so many choices and I'm a little nervous because last season all the food restrictions

like they fucked me over but now this year when I see a food restriction I throw a little rag at it and it is solved. Yeah and we see a piece of last year where he's staring at the board because that was his big dyslexia reveal when he's like oh mushroom risotto I have dyslexia and we watch

and like the words are like flying around in his head. And then he comes to it. He's like, mushroom roots are there. So that was fun to see again. And Fraser is like, all right, what are we doing for shock cutary? Two plates, because one is going to be vegan. One is going to be normal. And if the vegan one gives the normal one any attitude,

Chuck Quertries are going to fight. That's what's going to happen. So Jess is with Salain. She's like, Salain, are you okay? You're okay? Thank you. You sure? Yes.

And then Hugo walks up and he's like, hey, Jesse Pooh, and she's salient, he basically, like, pulls Jess out of there. And she's like, thank you. You saved me from our conversation, a conversation that was the consequence of my actions. And I'm realizing now that if there's someone I like, I have to just like them. He's like, okay, that's fine. Like, help me with the anchor. Yeah. And she goes, but I slept in Barbara's bed.

He goes, oh, come on. Like, you're in a leadership position. You can't do that. you can't do that unless you're the bosun okay he's like oh good point there he says you can't just sleep in the same cabin with someone you just broke up with and the new person i think she can because selain's made out with everybody on this boat and so lane running around here crying and solane admits it too she's like i don't know why i'm the one crying because i was making out with other people too but that's kind of how i feel you can't play with everybody's emotions and

then pretend it's no big deal and then now it's suddenly a big deal when it happens i think i don't feel for you. But I like you. I don't think that she should have done it. I don't think she should have done it because it's just messy. Like yes, Elaine may have like gone and made out with a bunch of people, but it's just messy. And it also is like, it also does not, it sort of, it doesn't clarify things.

Like, are you still trying to like make Salain feel a certain sort of way by sleeping under her? I don't know. I just think she should have had Barbara come to her room. I don't know why that's not even a consideration. Yeah. I can see that. So because I just feel like she went back, you know,

she did it to Barbara and she did it to Solane and they have no problem. I don't know. I think she set the tone for it, a Solane. She set the tone for being messy and not caring about anybody's feelings. So enjoy your karma is what I say. Yeah. I don't. I didn't like it.

I didn't like it. There's only so many beds to share. And how about the other cabin? I don't want you guys cuddling and doing. whatever you're doing in the cabin anyway can i try to sleep people who need to fuck on the boat do like everybody else does and go fuck on the cat cradle or whatever that thing is or the yeah the guest cabin or whatever my my feeling is really just that like i don't really care so much about saline's feelings in this i just i'm like i don't want to hear you talk about

how you've learned about like the consequences your actions and how you've got to grow in whatever and you're still doing something that's messy it's like it's still messy so like just like just don't want to i like i just don't want to it's more like it's more like I don't want to see you put yourself in a situation where there there could be ramifications and then you say oh god in retrospect I really shouldn't have done that like if I have to sit through another one of those scenes I'm gonna be mad so just don't do it in the first place I'm really angry today I'm really sass off I think that I think the I think that guy Susan Sontag guy really put me in the state of this it's time for a commercial it's time for a

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or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad-free? Join Wonderry Plus right now. So then we go to Rainbow and Demo, and they're talking about how it's the next charter, and he's kind of flirting. He's like, oh, I don't know if I'm ready for the next charter. He's like, oh, my God, I think your bicep is ready. Look at that. Wow, what guns really love those.

Don't we have a sexy thing going on? Do you think they're, like, kind of together? It seems like they are getting. a very slow burn but it may be so slow that it may never actually burn it may just we'll get with dame oh that burns gonna be much quicker it's gonna come on much quicker it's gonna be a lot of probably monthly either monthly and for the rest of your life um so now kyle um go pulls selain because he wants to apologize to her and everything and then of course while he they're going off to talk then jess and barbara are talking and jess is like i let's see this is why i don't

what this is why i do not approve of her sleeping in the same room because now we have to sit through this i feel really bad that i slept in your bed last night and when i've tried to speak to her at the bar she wasn't even looking at me i'm like jess honestly at this point just throw yourself off the boat i'm just i can't like you just keep on making these very simple mistakes and then you're like but now she is mad at me it's like girl duh yeah use some common sense Barbara's not bothered at all. She's like, well, the raspberries we were growing for the jam are ready for harvesting, so it's time to get to stomping.

She's like, okay, yeah. You don't want to make the jam? That is not nice. That's not nice. She said it today. Did she notice at one point? She goes, that's not nice. That's not nice.

That's not nice. I don't like that. Then we got a Carl and Salain having their talk on the deck. And Carl's like, oh, I'm genuinely sorry. Sorry for coming like I did. it was very rude you didn't deserve that i was very very arrogant you know uh still kind of shaking and like doing that like little he rolls like really little cigarettes and he just looks like a shaky guy asking for a dollar he really does and his nose is still all red and um she's like

oh it wasn't the first time someone speaking to me like that it wasn't the first time i'm sure you piss off a lot of people so yeah it's like i i I've spoken to like, I'm speaking to like that in traffic. I don't, whatever. Well, I apologize for being such an arrogant prick. And she's like, it's okay. Put it to bed. You go that way, I go this way.

Oh, but we're on same boat. It's only the one way. So we go both that way. But then we, maybe I walk backwards, you walk forward. Why would you walk, why would you walk that way? One walk forward same way and same boat, same direction. I meant it figuratively. Oh, now you're talking about my figure?

No, we're not in this place. No more. No more. I decided to accept apologize from Scottish because he's, you know, he's Scottish. He's stupid, but I like him. He's stupid, but nice stupid. You know, when people hurt, they can be crazy. We're human.

We're not perfect. Scottish is very far to be perfect. Scottish is not children. All right. Hugo, I'm heading to the fly bridge, which, as we know, is the tiny bridge. that flies are used across from one side of C. Martin to another. I'm going to the Fly Bridge, otherwise known as the Jeff Goldblum Bridge. I thought he would like to make me there.

I'll be pooping on my food to help me digest it. You might be wondering why the flies don't use their wings. Well, guess what? It's called sometimes they'll like to have arrests. All right. It's you over there. I'll be up there spitting vomit on an apple. All right.

Anybody's up there to join me. The fly bridge, which as we all know, is where the people of St. Martin transport their zippers from one under the aisle into another, the fly bridge. It's also where I go up there and pop my collar a little bit for acid jeans and do the Roger Rabbit, right? Is that still considered fly these days? Pretty fly for a white guy. so yeah he goes up there and um they are having engine trouble he goes like yeah obviously all the outboard stuff's well he's like yeah for the sake of it looking pretty i'd rather oh no he's checking over the boat so this is where carrie is getting all um anal over the boat and he's like all right

for the sake of things looking good i'd like the dick to be dry do you understand dry deck than wet dicks, right? Why are we talking about wet dicks? I feel like that's really inappropriate. All right. Let's hear. I don't want to get this dick wet. It's what I'm trying to say before the guests go.

Last time the guests were here, the problem was wet dick. All right. So let's fix that. All right, all right. Okay, Lenniezer, let's look at this bathroom here. Now, okay, now the countertop looks nice. The pink is looking wonderful. Okay, the towels.

We should have two towers on that countertop and one by the toilet. So two in the pink, one by the stink. All right. And then, why are you looking at me that way, Fraser? It's the pink, sir. It's the pink. All right.

Well, carry on. I'm going to stop pooping down here. This is a lovely bathroom. This is the loveliest bathroom we'll ever have. Pooping in this bathroom would be an adventure. All right, Anthony, let's look at your galley. This looks clean. Let me look at the refrigerator.

Okay, let's see. We've got all here. We've got milk, milk, lemon. Okay, around the corner. Oh, that's what the chocolate's made. Stick your finger. If you stick it now, Anthony, if you stick your finger in this thing, oops, it's a tutsi roll. I am not following. Um, why can't I think of any of those? I feel extremely mature for not having those in my lexicon. I don't know if there's many more after that.

You know, it's like I always say, you wake up in the morning and put your feet on the floor. It's a 50-yard dash to the bathroom door diarrhea. Am I right, everyone? Now you're just talking about pooping. Well, now I have a question. Do we have any air freshener? Smells nice in here. Although, to be fair, whoever smelled it, dealt it. All right. We're past sexual innuendo now and just straight on to bodily fluids. Whoever did, whoever did the rhyme, did the crime. I will not take the blame for another season. I will not be villainized. Oh, really? Because whoever denied it, supplied it. I think that's it. That's all I have. So, Rainbow and Barbara

do some laundry. And Barbara's like, oh, how about so-and-so doing? She's like, I don't know, nor do I care. That's what you got for messing with Rainbow. Rainbow has turned into rain, no. Okay? But no. I don't care. I don't care she's even living right now. I don't care she's breathing. And that's what happens when you fuck with the bow. You're going to get the horns of the rainbow, which I know rainbows don't have horns, but if they had horns, you would be getting them. Rainbows have hands. They have horns, but they're spelled H-E-A-U-R-N-S. I'm a little happy that Jess is with Barb's and not with Salane. This is karma coming to bite her in the ass. Ha!

So now guests are coming soon. By the way, we see Salane falling down the stairs again. Oh, yeah. Sorry. How many times does she have to fall down those stairs? It's like the power of rainbow. So I go, yeah? You want to mess with me?

My good friend, Barbes. You know we're a good friend because I call her Barbes now. yeah barbs so guests are robin guest arriving and Kyle he's like well I hope these guests are actually fun

but I'm not allowed to speak to them so I've got to stay away from the guests for poor Kyle poor Kyle stuck a nook in the corner not able to talk to any of the guests

don't you all feel sad for me so that's a good illustration this episode of what happens when someone is self-sabotaging which is basically what he was doing right

he's like I'm just gonna get shit faced i'm gonna do what i know i shouldn't do get so drunk that i'm evil fuck a guess brag about fucking the guess i'm gonna get fired i'm gonna i'm gonna throw all of this good that i've built up out the window but then people don't let you because he's like what am i still doing here you were supposed to fire me and now we're seeing him spin out like he's trapped because he didn't get to get fired yeah he he didn't sabotage well enough yeah it's too bad too bad you were so um from soft sabotage, and that was a disservice to you?

He sabotage and sabotage. So the guests arrive, and now they get the tour, and it's 1237 p.m. Now, this is important because everything that happens right now does not even happen at 1230, nor at 1235. It's at 1237, and it's time to depart. And Kerry's like, all right, I'm going to thrust the starboard with a port wash. It's like, well, well, you're going to pour some. after dinner wine off the side of the boat no it means something else in toilet all right let's look any wash any wash hugo do you see any wash um i don't still no wash there's no wash

there's no wash no wash you wash no wash hold on hold on i see no there's no watch that wasn't wash all right okay how about this look to the left now look back to the right real quickly wash i it's i can't see right now but sorry little dizzy eyes okay okay countdown walking walking one wash i'm in the water i'm in the water i'm in the water man overboard somebody all right no if you're in the water that does not count as wash even though you are well washed well i've been washed i smell like fish i smell like fish but i'm here i'm back i'm back all right all right all right i'm gonna radio i'm gonna radio Andrew Andrew it's Kerry Andrew it's your big moment it's the time when you get to come on on camera and

So now we have. I'd like to call all of the people who actually run this boat to the deck, please. To the bridge. Let's just have a little BTS here, all right, of people who actually do work on this boat. So we get all the slubby people who actually work on the boat. They're, yeah, captain. It's all the monty moles. They all arrive.

They're like bowling shirts. Their butt cracks are hanging out. Yeah. All right, what do you mean here? What can I do for you, Cap? you know on super mario brothers monte mole who like pokes his head up from the ground with like the the manhole cover on his head and throws a wrench that's what these guys are yeah i hate that they pop up and they're like we're ready for you boss so he's like they're like the non tv ready

people yeah hold on the productions insisting i wear man spanks so hold on oh god that's too tight the producer's like okay could someone tell the pa who's guarding the ugly person door to unlock it and let them out. Thank you. Over now. Please be ready with paper bags to put over these guys' head. They're going to have to go on camera. All right. Please make sure all microphones are far away. We do not want to get their disgusting flemy voices on camera. Can we get the extras who actually have jobs from Fred Flintstone's bowling alley up here in the bridge? Can we ask the attractive people to line up a series of hoses so that way by the time?

time they get out of their ugly room and get to the captain's quarters, they can be washed off. I'm sorry, they're only allowed out of their cages with the code, U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, yeah, yeah, you ugly. Okay, they're out. I like that one, Captain. I like that one. Hold on, guests, excuse me, I'm just going to encourage you to look at the island of St. Mond, while we, the members of the interior, are going to hold up some bedsheets so you don't have to see the atrocities that are emerging on the other side of this boat. All right. Human tunnel has been created.

In case anybody has to let one go, this is the Lazarette. It's the bathroom the new Jesus on the Real Housewives of London. Please enjoy yourselves. All right, America, this is what you need to know. Before you leave, you always test the steering on each station, on each engine, and on the bow thruster. And if they don't see a wash, it's not working. wing station is a massive problem because then if you don't have a wing station i mean you might why why do you order all that ranch am i right so i can't leave no one wants a dry wing

and that's just the godforsaken truth raw there for you on your plan do i mean is there anything more awkward than having a bag full of celery sticks and a jog full of ramp and no wing station it's like having a chocolate fountain with no cookies to dip it into what's the point what the point will this marriage last no one'll know until next week on below dick adventure so the problem is that basically um he says like okay here we go each of the stations go to a central brain and unfortunately as you may have seen there's not a single brain on this boat this entire season it's kind of the theme of the season there is no central brain all right we've got a problem with one of the controllers on the boat. I'm not leaving with anything not at 100%. Hold on. Hold on. I've got to

call. Mickey? Yeah, you're still trying to drive there? All right, just back it in. I don't care. It'll, there'll be lights that warned the lady to get out. You just hit the lady, did you? All right, have your mother deal with it. God, it's hard being away from my son. All right, fix the boat. All right, get out of here, ugly people. We're sick of looking at you. Like I was saying I'm not leaving this doc with anything Not at 100% Except for the capabilities of my crew

So Basically These the ugly people are there And they're trying to fix it And they're like this thing's flashing But that thing's not flashing And the saddle check the status on that The poor guys are like literally not ugly

We're so terrible They're so cute Actually often they're really hot Remember actually Malifar dating one Because he was so hot Yeah They just didn't standards.

Oh, Malilla. Remember? Yeah. Well, Malia also talked to them because they were the only people not exposed to her wretchedness. The original demo. Yeah. So now Saline and Barbara are in the- Tattle tell you mean, is that what you're saying?

Yeah. The original. The original rain. Salain and Barbara are in the main salon bar and Barbara is like, we need to talk. talk. I really want to speak to you about yesterday. And first, I'm going to apologize because you're my friend and I don't think it was nice. What happened? It wasn't nice. It wasn't nice. It wasn't nice. It was me this time. It was me. It wasn't nice. I wasn't nice. Bad me. I like good me.

I like nice me. Not nice. Not, not, not, not, not nice in me. That was a lot of nuts. But I'm sorry. Okay. Barbara. Um, yes, just sleeping there. You know, but like, whatever's going to happen between you and me is okay. No worries. I'm just processing. Babara. Bah-rah. Babara. You know how she move on like for Baba without explaining to me? I don't know. It's not good.

But I kiss the other person also. So I realized the consequences are we having a conversation about consequences? I'm in my own confession. Get out of here. Get out of here. These are the consequences of interrupting someone else's confession. And I have to accept that. I deserved that.

I deserved it. So, uh, the first, uh, bowling alley guy is like, well, there's something going on there, that's for sure. And I'm getting on the starboard engine somewhere. We're going to see if we can take control. Oh, you're going to take control. Well, can't take control, I guess. Shut the engines down. That's what you do on a boat.

Okay, get that thing. It's called the wheel captain. Okay, it's the wheel. And by the way, I say captain in quotes. Okay, right? I don't even know how to drive the stupid boat. Hey, Fred. Um, just going to start checking the fuses, okay?

And Terry's like, radio, all right, sounds good. He's like, all right, we're going to try to turn it on, Fred. Oh, it's not working, Fred. Hey, Fred, I got two fingers in a hole and another thumb in the other hole. It's like the mouth hole. It's not working, Fred. Well, I got to say, Bernie. Hold on.

Let me just see what's happening on the outside of this boat. And now let me just walk right back on the pass around. God damn it. Gino locked me out of the yacht again. Carrie. All right, you know, listen, the yacht, let me tell you something. All right, I'm going to need to talk to Hugo and Fraser, haven't both come up here. All right, both of you.

I wanted to say this to both you, so I don't have to tell you each individually. The Lazarette is the place to poop. Second, the boat's broken. All right, it's just broken. Yacht stuck. I don't know when we can leave, but I know. It's not today. This could kill our season. The season could be dead. Oh, wow. Okay. So, that's scary.

Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now we go to it's 1.15 p.m. So Fraser is like, okay, ladies and gentlemen of the guest quarters, I have an announcement to make. first of all I am hideous we can just address that right now second of all please welcome to the stage the one and only Captain da da da da da da da da carrie Captain carry you have the floor

Does he even come up there Oh yeah I do come here I do come here everybody can we just give a round of applause to Fraser for that lovely intro also Fraser you're not as fat as you think All right can we just tell Fraser he's not as fantasy Thanks, everybody. All right, we'll find a shorter way to say that. Get out of here. Get out of here. Thank you. But just I want to say that it doesn't really mean much coming from all you fat people. Okay, I need to be judged by skinny people. Thank you so much.

I will only be judged by a jury of my peers, unfortunately. All right, how we all doing? Great. Good to be here. Good to see you. All right, so we're having some mechanical issues with the boat. I cannot take control of the boat from the stations. Even all the rubbles downstairs are confused. So we're going to be stuck here tonight. And what I can offer you, let me tell you, this is going to be exciting. Nothing. All right, absolutely, nothing.

You want to take out a couple of bikes? That's great. There's no land. You want to take out a couple of jet skis? Don't have anyone capable of getting them out. All right. Do we have boggle on board? We do not.

Can't even shake up a bunch of little letters in a plastic box and turn them into words. You're all fucked. All right. Hope you got good high school stories to share. All right, even you. Oh, McLehan. what the hell is that a real haircut who lifted your face have it put back it's too tight brother all right i'll be watching netflix i am obsessed with the way you say mclaughlin i have to say

i've never heard it said mispronounced that way macklehan i thought it was karl mackleham mclochlin wait how do you say it maclachlan yeah karl mclaughlan macklehan macklehan is kind of amazing I mean well now I'm now I'm paranoid maybe it is macklehan but I'm pretty sure it's Kyle McLaughlin okay can we just go over all the times you've been right and I've been wrong on this show you're right I'm pretty sure just like let's just go by the members I'm pretty sure you're right on this one but I do love that Kyle McLehan um so then Shannon Bador possesses a guest named David who goes are you kidding me are you kidding me and ron ron's like i know we've got to be moving david we've got to be moving and david's like

we got screwed so now um fraser is like um anthony i don't think we're moving today so what do you mean we're not moving i have octopus leg by the way can i not be served an entire octopus arm like what the fuck bro did you see the octopus he served it's like this thick it's thick as a human arm I need, like, fins. No, there's too much when it's like a gigantic thing like that. And you have to cut through the rubberiness and like, well, if it's cooked properly, it's beautiful. But I know what you're saying. You want it to be a little bit more, you know, manageable.

Dainty. Yeah, dainty. Yeah, I don't want the monster from the fucking 20,000 leagues under the sea. You know what I mean? I want like a little dainty child that was killed, not, you know, Methuselah. Not like the lazarette of octopuses. Wait, is Methuselah the one that came back to life? in the Bible or Lazarus was the really old one. Methuselah was the one that came back to life,

right? No, Methusla is the old one. I don't know who Lazarus is, to be honest. I'm Jewish and I don't know this part of the Bible. I think Lazarus is old testy. I just, oh, well, in that case, I'm just uninformed Jewish. Lazarus can refer to several things, notably a figure from the Bible, a software, or a TV series. In the Bible, Lazarus of Bethany, oh my God. I'm, hi, hi, I'm Lazarus. Hey, it's me, Lazarus. You know what I love? Manna, manna, this manna is delicious.

I got this manna from the manor store down the street. It's the best one in the Hamptons. It's the best manor street in the Hamptons. Okay, I'm trying this manna. You know what? It's good. I don't know if I would spend 40 days and 40 nights eating it. But, you know, it's all right.

It's all right. It's all right. It's salt. 40 days and 40 nights is how long he fasted, not how long he ate. That's how I do a fast. I do the opposite of the Jesus diet. I just eat. manna. Okay, Lazarus of Bethany is a man whom Jesus raised from the dead. There where you go.

There you go. Oh, so this is like a small, this is like Lazarette is like a lady that Jesus resurrected or maybe just like a small version of the man. It's a Lazarite. Yeah. Yeah, he was resurrected after being dead for four days, which honestly, I would have told Jesus if I was there back then in the new testy, I would have been like, Jesus, it's been too long. Like, you can bring Lazarus back to life, but is Lazarus ever going to smell the same? No, the decomposition is already started. He's going to have a new life where people are always going.

Does something smell in here? I think it's Lazarus. Are we also sure that Lazarus was really dead in the first place? Because this was Lazarus of Bethany, which means that Lazarus was going around and be like, oh my God, literally, I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. I can't. I don't want it. I'm dead. I'm dead. Like my walls are up. I'm dead. I'm dead.

So Jesus is like, okay, I'll resurrect you. It's like, well, Lazarus was just saying that. Yeah. It was that sacrilegious. I apologize to the Christians for making too much of a joke out of the story. Out of the Bible. Oh, come on. I mean, listen, we're promoting in a way, you know.

Ain't no press, like, ain't no bad press. All right. So Anthony is like, we're not on both anymore. We are like restaurants hotel. That is going to work harder because now they're going to eat all day. I forgot up. The tip is going really, really, really down. So let us make the magic happen with French finger, French finger magic.

So we know this is going to be an anthony breakdown episode. We can already see it coming because he's manic about proving himself worthy. So the big plan for these guests is that they're going to essentially move the boat forward a little bit so they can kind of create like a little pool. So everyone can have their dream can come true, which is swimming in the gasoline and muck of a, a yacht harbor like have you ever dreamed of that swimming right where all the exhausts of the yacht comes out that's what we can do for you or all the otters lay on a rock and poop like you know in the Santa Monica Harvard that's how it is they all all the seals or whatever gather on the rocks they just lay there and they're so cute to look at but all you smell is their poop they make

mountains of poop and then just lie around on their poop all day and take maps it's disgusting Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not unlike some gas on below deck. So Kerry is like, oh, all right, everyone. We're going to see this. Why is there, why is their lipstick on the toilet? We're going to use the winches to move the boat forward, but the winches can't sustain that load for a long period of time. So you snap a line. You could take someone's leg or arm off. You pull a bollard. You could kill someone. So watch out for the bollards and the winches, everyone. Pollards and winches. I love how I'm the show every time they do something on the deck they're like all right we're going to do this but it could result in everybody here dying all right let's watch us pull the winch pull the winch just pull oh god you're pulling it too tight we're almost dead that would be the consequences of my action i deserve everything take me take me so carry goes up to the gas and they're like Like, so, have we got any good news?

Well, there is good news. We found out what the problem is. This boat's sinking. We have 36 hours to live. All right. But right now. Yeah, we found the problem. All right, we're sourcing the part.

Now, here's, that's the good news. We're sourcing it. Now, here's the bad news. We're sourcing it from Timu. All right. Now, here's some more good news. Went on Timu to find the park. Got to spin a wheel on getting $100 off orders of 19 million.

dollars or more, all right, and I have another chance to spend. Hold on. I got it again. All right. It's all good news. We're on the dock, but I'm getting a lot of polyester pants, possibly a boat pot, if they're any. And here's some more good news. We found some Mr. Dooco puzzles for you, so we'll just distribute those and hope you have a great time for the next three days solving those. All right. I'm sorry, more of a wordal person, Captain. There's no internet on this boat. The internet has broken, all right? We're trying to source internet right now. It's very, very difficult. All right, wait, what's this? Oh, I just heard? Our Temu arrival has come ahead of schedule, so don't guess what, the pot has arrived, and they're opening up the box right

now, and oh, unfortunately, they just sent a pair of capri pants by accident, so it's like we'll have to wait another day for the engine part. We order it. These actually were the pants that Captain Sandy had ordered during her season they just got here because they were ordered through Timu, it's taken a long time and sent to the wrong address. But I do have some nice black polyester capris, all right? We are going to be holding a raffle for the capri pants. It's whoever can finish their Sudoku puzzle fastest, win some capri pants. This is so, so unfair. And they're only here for three days. These guys are not letting, they're not getting the experience they're paid for. And now, as

Stu's, we have to be really entertaining. Me, Fraser, the most entertaining person on the planet, is about to really show them what I can do. By running around with the tray, wobbling and saying, I can't stand this shit. I want to die. So the deck team is, like, Hugo is, like, on the back of the boat being like, hmm, what to do? And he's just standing there. He's just, like, figuring out where to put out the swim platforms. and the guests are drinking espresso martinis

and Kyle is like what I feel like I'm very much under the microscope don't be around the guest don't say certain things don't fuck all the women who are on board things like that you know I'm just trying to do the best I can to stay away from them without looking like I'm being rude

they don't care no one is sitting around being like hey that guy with the mop sure is being distant no one's so I'm saying that guy who looks like he should be in a Harmony Corinne movie certainly isn't talking to me today.

Harmony Corinne movie. Wow. You just went for the jugular with that one. By the way, that's the name of two future Blow Tech studios, I'm sure. Harmony and Corinne. Except it'll be spelled like H-A-R-M-H-O-M-O-N-K-N-N-E. Y-E-E-E. Y-E-E.

Do you remember Bratini? L-O-L-L, I can't. Oh, my God. It's pronounced Britini. It's like, no, I refuse. I'm never going to call you that. That's the dumbest that I've ever heard. No.

What a dumb-dum. So anyway, so then the guest is like, Hey, Fraser, do you think those jet skis are ready? He's like, I'll have a check for you. The answer will be no, but what I'll do is I'll walk away. and then I'll be gone for 45 minutes and you can ask again. But the way Fraser does it, you know the term like, never let him see you sweat? You're just supposed to be like, sure, let me check on that.

I'll be right back. But Fraser's like, let me check for you. I'll be right back. Oh, my God, what are we going to do? Is it working yet? Is it working yet? I've got people starving to death up here for entertainment. Look at Carl Moclehan.

He looks pathetic enough already. Can we please see something? The poor man. hasn't been able to move his face since he's been here do something it's all under control everybody it's all under control i'm running this chart on my own it feels like and i have to give the guests something so fallacious it is so then you can kyle really chose the wrong week to fuck a guest i could have used his superpower today i know so hugo and fraser on the swim platform And Fraser's like, so, Hugo, they're saying, please, let's do something.

And they've been asking me for three hours. And they really just want to get on a jet ski. But you've taken so long that now I have to propose a sunset cruise. Do you realize I'm proposing an evening activity before they even get to their afternoon activity? Do you understand this right now? Hugo's like, I will take as long to do this as I take taking out the trash. Okay? I can guarantee you that.

It's like, good. Thank you so much. Thank you so, so much So Fraser goes up He's like So I know you all ask for jet skis But how would you like to do a sunset cruise In our tender instead

He proposes it like Oh isn't this great I'm like that's 100% different Than going on jet skis I mean it sounds fun But like I would be like Wait we just asked you for three hours What about the jet skis

And he'd been saying They're on their way And now suddenly you're saying We're going on a sunset cruise I would not be happy Yeah I don't really understood understand this because we see them getting what was their plan with they were like okay we're going to move the boat out into the middle of the water with ropes and then that just didn't

work and so now the deck team is trying to come up with a way to move the boat further out like how does this make any sense this was bizarre I didn't understand this I didn't understand it why did they not take them on an excursion throughout across the island somewhere like they've done this stuff before I don't understand why they they just seemed like they had no idea what to do in this sort of situation. Yeah, they should have taken them around to the end of the island or something on the charter and, like, giving them snacks and drinks and then, like, taking them out and then taking them on a tour of the town and ended up back at the other side or something.

I don't know. Yeah, I'm snorkeling on the other end of the island or driven up one of the mountains or things like that. I don't know. I just feel like there's a real lack of creativity going on here. So, um, uh, Fraser says, all right, Dick. Crew aren't fucking providing anything for us. So I'm going to do something.

We're going on a sunset cruise together. Salane, she's like, what is cruise? I mean, I know Tom Cruise, but I really don't know cruise. Like, clues, what, huh? What? What? Okay. You work on a boat and you don't know what a cruise is.

I mean, come on. This is not an, like, an ESL issue. This is you just fucking around. Yeah. And he's like, well, you can have a break here. And she goes, no, I want to come. I want to see what is cruise. What is?

What is cruise? What is. So, yeah, she's like, I'm thinking about Jess. I can't help it. But the more important for me is to be good at my job and be known for. Or Therlane, she's so good at her job. Well, that ship is sailed. Okay.

That ship is cruised. That cruise has sunk in. Yeah. That cruise is carnivaled. Okay. Mm-hmm. It's over. Yeah.

So they all get on the tender to go on their cruise. Then Anthony is reviewing the preference sheets and he's having this like reverse beautiful mind moment. What's the opposite of a beautiful mind? Ugly. The numbers are like just going back into your head. He's like, oh, so many things to look at.

So then the guests are having a great time and then Kyle decides to call his grandma Joyce and she's like, okay, did you have a nice birthday? And he's like, no, I had the horrible birthday. I nearly got fired granny. She's all behavior yourself.

Did you stick it in somebody, Kyle? Just go ahead. Tell me what you did. We know you stuck it in somebody. It's closer about that time, isn't it, Carl, keep it quick. I'm having Fergus McGillicati eating me out at the moment. Okay, granny. This whole family. She's like drinking straight out of a whiskey bottle. She's like, get to it. Granny's going to get some over here. He's like, no, I'm not behaving myself. What, that's what the problem is. So then we get. Kyle, one of, first of his two Instagram walls he got this episode.

So, Instagram walls. And Kyle saying, growing up, my mom was a single parent on her own. So I kind of always finished school and I'd either be on my own at the house or I'd be at the farm to go work. And I definitely was allowed to live free as a youngster. And I think that maybe being an only child

and not having anybody to kind of check in on me in life probably didn't make some of the best decisions. And I'd never ask for help. I don't think I ever asked for help. Maybe I should. And we just see photos upon photos of him just looking like a pure disaster. Like this guy, I'm sorry, he needs, first of all, to be showered. A shower would be a good place to start.

And like, I don't know, I'm actually quite concerned about Kyle. I worry about his trajectory in life. It does not seem very good. Yeah, it doesn't seem like the strongest trajectory. And he's been doing so well, I think, for the most part this season. You know, I mean, he's been kind of crashing and burning over a chick, but he hasn't been as crazy fall down drunk and as messy as he's gotten on the past season where that was worrying. And this time he is, you know, he is doing bad. But he's doing that thing that makes me crazy where he's like, maybe it is time I should ask for help.

But first of all, you're only doing that after you got caught and got in trouble. So it doesn't really count. And then you just do it again in two seconds. So I don't know. But I do think it needs help. And, you know, you've got to root for Kyle. He seems like a nice guy. It's just a disaster.

Yeah, he seems nice. So Kerry gets a text. Guess what? The part, it's not going to ship until tomorrow. Pun intended. You know what? I didn't appreciate that pun right now. It's a serious situation.

Okay. Although, now that I think about it, it's a pretty good pun. Shipping tomorrow. So Fraser is like, interior, interior, interior, please. This is very important. We need welcome drinks and towels. guess get nothing do you understand what i'm saying nothing so now everyone's getting ready and then ron and denise are chatting denise is the one who wants to jump off the front of the yacht

in her wedding dress which by the way like you deserve to have a broken boat because of this so ron is like 10 years ago i mean this is a stupid request you know i feel like the world being like you're dumb i feel like the world was like you know what we're sick of your stupid fucking wedding post because this girl denise has been posting about her wedding for 10 fucking years okay we all know it yeah we all know it we all know that of denise if her if if like if instagram were around when her kids when she had our kids you know she would be up there making her kid on a beach with some seashells next to it's being like one week two weeks two weeks one day two weeks two days like we all need a fucking count down yeah that's denise

so ron's like 10 years by the way ronie by way ronie get excited Because as far as I can tell, it's August, it's August 19th today, which means we are about to enter a prime. My kid is going back to school. So here he is holding a chalkboard to say what grade he's going into. Just get ready. Get ready. Yeah. It's that time, huh?

It's kidding time. Oh, my God. Roddy, you're like, I love it. I'm like, get ready for the worst time of the year. Because I'm the one on all of those posts being, oh, my God, you've grown so much. I just love you so much. It's from your uncle. Your name is Rondell.

That's what they wanted to name you. you call me you can come play play station later can't wait sack boys are waiting i'm like please post more content about character actresses thank you so ron's like 10 years ago today we got married and you look as beautiful today as you did 10 years ago just oh really will you look more handsome today than you did 10 years ago really up your ante now what are you going to say back to me he's saying, uh, that's all I got. He's like, actually, uh, mine wasn't really a compliment. I was just trying to say, I always thought you were going to kind of like raise your game once you were married to me.

You really haven't. Ten years ago, I married a midwoman. And here I am 10 years later celebrating a midwoman. Wow. God, things really don't change much, do they? They said that once you marry a rich guy like me, she'll want to have plastic surgery. but she never put in that requests so i just i have enough for the both of us i guess denise catch and strays denise is lovely by the way denise is actually like so actually honestly

so pretty and we're just ragging on denise would would you say i think actually everyone's pretty nice on this charter i think they're understandably miffed i think that the tipping thing was was wrong but they are they're they're generally pretty nice people they just well they're fake nice I guess because they don't tip um so carry is carry joins for a drink and he's like in his like civilian clothes and uh denise is like so do we have a status on the ship and uh ron is like do we have a status on a plastic surgeon am i right carry right am i okay care it's like all right all i've got good news all right or i did get a package today. Bad news. It was not the boat part. All right. Good news. It was a pair

of caprice that fit me. All right. I ordered from Amazon, got them here in the day. Captain Sandy really needs to learn not to use Tamu. Am I right? That was hilarious. So are we going to leave on the boat today? No. You are going nowhere. All right. But I did have the boys put some letters in a bowl. You can pick them out and try to make words out of them. All right, that's the good news. All right. We did find a lot. We did find a an old copy of taboo. The buzzer doesn't quite work. It sort of sounds like a dying fly from the fly bridge. But it's fun. So if you want to say disappointment, you have to say it without using these five synonyms. Give it a try. Furious, upset. God, you were really good at that. All right,

I'm going to pack up the taboo. All right, good news. I just got some good news. We've gone apart in Miami. All right. Bad news. This is not Miami. All right. So I'm going to go ahead and have the boys get out of globe and show you just how fucking far you are from the part. All right.

All right. Actually, I did just get an email that apparently I did get a part. The bad news is it was a part in the local Fort Lauderdale production of Miss Saigon. So it was not quite the part that I think you were looking for. That being said, why don't you all sit down, and let me regale you with my role. White, one. It's a gender. All right.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Everybody's sitting there. Let me try that again. They call T. Moon. The dust of life conceived in hell and born in strife. Right. You got it? Right.

All right. All together now. The haters on in Saigon. The heat is on in Saigon. The chicks are hotter in hell. It is like my favorite cheesy Broadway moment. The heat is on in Saigon. The chicks are hotter in hell.

That's always made me laugh. Every time I hear it, I crack up. The chicks are hotter in hell. It's so mean. No, not in hell, like hell, but the way they had to pronounce it because they're like, you're just, you're just army guys. So we don't want you to say, you know, then we want you to say, hmm, you know. They're like, the chicks are hotter in hell.

Oh, I thought you were saying the chicks are hotter in hell. Like the heat is like, oh, man, the chicks are ugly here. That's funny. They're saying the chicks are hotter than hell. But they're like, the chicks are hotter in hell. He does on, Saigon. The adventures on in Saigon. on it's just a one-man production listen with everything that's been going on and as busy as i've

been coming out of my room from watching netflix to telling the guests they're not getting shit i mean it's a bit exhausting mentally i'm exhausted but the least i could do is have dinner with them i mean that's what everybody wants right so i'm going to do it i want to try and take away attention from the problem uh like i'm a bullfighter it's hilarious right not the spear one Just this one, the one with the flag. Rainbow's like, mess with the rainbow, you get the horns. Am I right, Captain, Bulls? You know, right?

All right, it is time for dinner. Black Truffle, Carbonara, pasta, best chief in the world. And then meanwhile, Jess is like, you guys have trash upstairs, but we actually have a really stupidly large bin of trash. I'll come in two seconds, because taking trash out is the consequence. of my action of deciding to be a duck hand.

Oh, next time I will not be a deckhand and deal with trash. So I guess we're seeing that one person at least takes out trash. They're putting that in this episode so we know. It's not the deck hands. Yeah. Oh, no, she's a deckhand. Yeah. One of the guests is like, so is this one of your favorite boats?

Does she take it out? Because she says I'll come in two seconds, but she doesn't actually take it out. I think she does, right? Because isn't it the chef's trash that's not getting taken out? Or is it all the same trash? But it's the chef's trash. But the only person we ever see taking it out is Salane, actually. Oh, okay.

I didn't know this was the same trash. Okay. So this was to illustrate that she said she's going to come, but she never comes. I see. Never mind, Jess. Never mind. I tried to give you a point there, but point rescinded. So one of the guests asks the captain if this is his favorite boat because he works on a lot of boats.

And he's like, not today. It's not. most unfavorable boat that's what it is today all right wow all right bad news all right good news i'm having been with you bad news wednesday has just come back on netflix and i love that pig-tailed little negative girl so i only have half an hour to spend with you all right so then uh time for dessert and fraser says we want to congratulate you on your tenth wedding anniversary to the stupid man so this is called the stoked for the stokes because you are the stokes that's your last name do i have to spell out every single stupid joke on this boat for you people we had it called the stokes but it sounded

perverted so we've changed it to stoked the stokes i was going to call it different stokes make the world go around but then i was worried that no one would actually get that did anyone get that no If anyone needs poked for the Stokes, we do have Carl on standby. He's hiding in the water toy bin. Anybody needs him. Oh, this is made with gold, love, and chocolate. So they have gold-wrapped things that they eat. Like, oh, my God, it's gold.

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