Watch What Crappens - #2979 RHOM S7E12 Part One: The Strain in Spain Stays Mainly in the Plane

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

This is part 1 of 2Stephanie weaponizes her private plane amidst squabbles, unfollows, and textses on The Real Housewives of Miami. But the real hilarity comes once Kiki justifiably uses the “o” word against Adriana. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crapins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. and welcome to watch our crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, Mr. Ronnie Karam. How are you, Ronnie? What's going on? What's going on with you today, baby? Well, I'm thrilled because we're talking real households of Miami.

And this episode was so good and so hilarious. It was actually so good that I took myself over to social media and I proposed. claimed, first of all, I don't know, I don't know if there's going to be a show that's going to be able to top Miami this year. Salt Lake City is going to be the strongest contender. We're going to see Salt Lake obviously comes back in September. And Salt Lake City has been on a tear for several seasons and they are pretty much the elite cast to beat on Bravo. But after watching last night's Miami episode, I'm like, I don't like this is going to be a hard one to top. Miami is like batting 1,000. They are having an excellent season. And And I don't know. And so then I went and I ranked all my favorite shows of the year so far. So I really went into a tizzy. Wow, you had quite a day.

I literally ranked every single Bravo show of 2025 so far. And I said, these are my, this is my favorite from top to bottom. And actually what I discovered was that like the majority of the shows I really loved. Like next gen New York City wound up sort of like mid pack, mid to low pack on the list. And people were like, you put it too low. And I'm like, actually, I love. next gen new york city i just loved everything this year on bravo for the most part i mean i loved southern charm a lot of people didn't love southern charm i loved southern charm i loved beverly hills

i loved it all i love this i love the pocket i love the scene i love it i love that you i love that you had that moment where you just yeah gave love to everything that's so good that's the best part about what you know that's been on a sober night You know I'm drunk or something when I'm like, you know what? Here's everything that I love. I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate everything that I love. You can do that fit sober, you know? I love that.

Yeah, I don't know, but that's how good Miami was. It sort of like made, it sort of like Miami was so good. It uncorked all my love for all the Bravo shows. And I think I have, I think I put Miami as number one. Should I just pull it up at this point? Should I just say some of them? I won't go through the whole list. I mean, but I think I put Miami is, Miami is definitely number one.

I put as my, my number two, I said the valley is number two. I think the valley was really like, yeah, I think the valley was really like appointment television. I'm putting Orange County as number three so far. This is by the way, so far, it could all change by the end of the year. I think Orange County is having a great season so far. I'm really enjoying it. This is a little controversial. I put Beverly Hills as number four.

Maybe I put that slightly too high. But I was like, at first it was lower. But then I was thinking back and I was like, I had so much fun with Sutton and her mom and Doreet losing her mind and Dorete yelling at Kyle. There was like a lot of joy that I had watching that season. Southern Hospitality, I put a number five. I think we've forgotten about it, but it had such a good season. And then Love Hotel. I almost wanted to put Love Hotel higher because I just love to love hotel.

And then it goes on from there. I won't go through all of it. And you guys can just make a guess on my last one is on the list. but yeah I just love the McVee d'nasty God somebody over there doesn't enjoy a dribble door

One of the best shows of all time You know it's so funny how your hatred of that show makes me like it so much more I don't know what it is about it but I think it's so fun and I feel like the listeners really like you hating something too

because it's just not your general vibe so I think the biggest compliment we get on that show is that you hate it so much. It's a lot of comments like, wow, Ben hates this. I love it. I normally am a Bravo Apologous. Like if I like something, I will just like like it and be like, no, it's great even when it starts to decline.

Yeah. So it is nice to just outright hate something. But I love that you love it. Like I genuinely love that you love it. And then I, you know, it's fun. But anywho, we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about Miami as a reminder. We have tonight, there's going to be crappy hour

where we are going to be talking about the latest headlines and Goss on Bravo. We always have fun with that. That's gonna be at 5.30 on the West Coast and 8.30 on the East Coast. And then you can just figure out your time zones if you're not in those. And then also we're on Patreon.

We have bonus episodes. Last week we had a really, really fun bonus episode where we told tales of our youth and interacting with certain celebrities like rapper Goulet and Sally Kellerman and Diane Cannon. And maybe there was another celebrity that was in there. Emmylou Harris, maybe. So come join us on Patreon for all that good stuff.

Plus crap is on demand where you can watch the video. But that's enough. You can see us both in collared shirts today. Yeah, we're wearing. Ben looks very cute and a little preppy shirt. I'm in like an Easter shirt. I don't know. I'm wearing Easter colors lately.

I'm really into it. This is a Gap polo shirt. And I have to say, I've been enjoying this shirt so much that after this, we're done recording. I'm going to go to the gap and see if I can get more pillow shirts. I'm hoping that they're still there and that they have not started to transition into their fall wear.

Well, I'm heading over to Palm Springs today for the weekend and I was going to take my friend with me one of my little Persian besties, Mike. Hi, Mike, love you. And he reminded, he's like, I can't drive with you because I'm going to stop on the way

because the outlets. And I was like, of course the Persian is like we're going to the outlets. Because every time we go to Palm Springs with the Persian, they pull over them, like, every time. Nadine does it, too. Every single time, it's like, where has Nadine been? And it's like four hours. She's like, I'll be 10 more minutes.

So, yes, I'm going to have to go to the outlets because, come on. Or maybe I'll save it for the ride back, but that Sunday that's going to be hell. So I think maybe you're going to want to, you want to do it today. But my friend Brandy's coming up from New York, and she lands in Palm Springs at 245. So I just told her, get an Uber to the house and give her the, gave her the, gave her the door code and then i'm going to go to the outlets i'll buy her you should go the outlets it won't be as crowded today oh no because i'll beuler in the car bring bueller to the outlets everyone brings their dog everywhere oh it's california that's true

i could just be like i don't even have to say anything you just bring them in right last time i went to the cabazon outlets i saw fay resnick there so what star might you see there did she have a dog uh no she was with an older man and they were walking along and she was wearing a cowboy hat and I thought wow god I can Kyle friends friends of Kyle they're just all in their their cowboy era yeah um no definitely go the outlets today because everyone is thinking that they're going to go to the outlets on the way back and it's packed on sundays so all right we'll do the outlets today maybe yeah okay i hope you something cute if people can take their dogs to whole foods i can take my dog to the old navy outlet then that's it

All right, let's get on with it so I can go, because now I'm excited to go to the outlets. I know. We really should be podcasting because you're actually trying to get to pump. You're actually trying to go on vacation right now for your birthday weekend. And I'm yammering about it. And here's my top 10 favorite commercials I saw on Bravo last night. Yeah, I'm wearing. Come on.

That's worth it. I wanted to hear it. And you know, I don't go on the social enough. So it's good to hear it. This is on blue sky. I don't think you're even on blue sky. So you probably wouldn't have even seen it anyway. No, I'm not on blue sky.

have like different content on different platforms i'm discovering oh really um so follow them on everything everybody if you want to see the same picture for three months at a time you can follow me because that's all i normally i do a lot of board game content on blue sky i feel like i'm oddly self-conscious about my board game content because i feel like liberals more into board games than than other no i just feel like me tweeting about board games on twitter people are just going to be like what but for some reason blue sky i haven't like It's like, it's a new persona I can establish, so I mainly do that, but then I randomly threw in this, like, top 10, Bravo, something, another. Let's talk about Miami. This episode was so fucking good.

So hilarious. Season 7, episode 12, on civil, in severe. So here we are at a restaurant, Larsa, fighting because Lisa is taking calls about needing to find a notary. A notary. And it's very upsetting to everybody. everybody's very upset with Lisa in this episode and it's so funny to me because I just think Lisa's so nice like Lisa never does anything to anybody so she's late who cares just leave without her I mean I don't understand how it's this this making everybody this fucking crazy and then even Stephanie whips out her plane again like well we're going to decide who's going to ride my plane no one wants to fuck you and your old man balls plane okay I don't care about you and your draggy old man nuts plane she's Shut up about that plane. Stephanie is starting to wear on me a little bit.

I'm not going to lie. I've been a fan of her all season. I think that she's been a great casting choice. I've been really enjoying her being obnoxious. But she is starting to wear on me a bit. And I think that her using this airplane like a kid bringing a toy to school and then like being able to use that. I have a power trip of who gets to play with a toy is getting a little annoying to me. Yeah.

It is hilarious, but it's annoying. And I'm also getting annoyed with her laughing. her confessionals, thinking that everything she says is so damn funny. And I say this as someone who laughs at his own stupid jokes on a podcast literally that's all we do to sit here and laugh at ourselves all day. Like right now, I just

laughed it. I just did it. But that being said, wait, no, Lisa would drive me nah huts, okay? Because I think her constant I think her constant disrespect of being extremely tardy is actually, I think that's

rude. So she may be a nice person. She may be nice to talk to. She's a brat. I'm sorry. It has to be acknowledged. And not a fun brat. Like Charlie X-E-X. She's a full-on brat. And it's enough. I mean, look, I get it.

I'm not saying that being laid is cute or okay or that I love it. Because we all know I will leave your ass if you're late. But I just I mean, the amount of the punishment doesn't seem to fit the crime is all I'm saying. Like, she's She gets in her own way.

I mean, she was late to this trip. She had to take a train. She had to carry her own luggage. She had to do all this shit. And she's still late. Like, she's never going to learn. It's just who she is. So, you know what?

I just don't understand why everybody needs to be like, oh, my God. Should we disenfight? Okay, I'm getting ahead. I'm getting out of myself. Well, the distant fight had nothing to do with her being late. It literally did, though. Stephanie was like, I don't want her on my plane. Oh, well, she eventually used that as an excuse.

But we'll get into this stupidity. I think Stephanie just wanted. to create like a power dynamic where like like oh no you might get kicked off the 22 minute flight I think that's what she wanted to do she did not sincerely care about whether or not she's on the plane okay so we're back at the restaurant where we left off last week where Larsa was getting mad at Lisa because Jody was texting her and Larsa's like I don't need this shit in my life like and she tells us so Jody texts me he texuses me and like I'm trying to like let it go and like and all drop and but like but like you seem to like not want to this is what he

says he says i'm trying to let it all go and drop it all but like you seem to not want not want to and let this fight go like and like yeah i just want to let this fight go like but we we've been like we've been trying to do so and i said i never in my life said anything rude to you like ever like and then we get a flashback of larsa if you don't understand that chody you're like a fucking like Psycho like fucking like. So the editor is just so funny. And then Larza, I love Larsa struggling to

sound 15 at all times. Hold on. Yes. Sorry, I was sneezing. So she's like, this is like to Lulu. This is like to Lulu like. And she says it 10 times. Yeah, like she did, because it sounds like new slang to her.

Yeah. I think that she like, maybe it was either she either learned that or she got confused about like Labubu and then she started saying to Lulu or whatever it is but she used it like every every scene she was saying to Lulu yeah I love when she picks up new slang Samaras like my sister's still saying that is the bomb dot com so um she told the bowl of rice recently that it had Riz I was like I don't think you're using that right she's like no this rice has Riz yeah my sister I think she's

she just heard the word Riz. And so she's like, wow, this for ice is Riz. I said, I don't think that's... You know, Kyle Richards can be saying Riz all of next season in Beverly Hills. She really will be. So, um, there's a lot of back and forth in this scene because there's a good group that's

away from the table and there's a group at the table. So Maricel goes from the Larsa group which that's away and goes back to the table. All right, here's the, there's a situation. The situation is that Jody has been sending her text all afternoon. So she's upset and probably needs a cocky. And Adriana goes, Marisol, there's

a legal motion going on and we got to take care of that first. And then we'll deal with the Jody fight for tomorrow and tomorrow's episode. So one of the funniest things is all these ladies sing text because we all know how a wall of text looks to these ladies

and it's not good. It looks like a horror show. Everyone's horrified, just seeing all the words. They're like, oh my God, someone made so many words. Like you see Alexa looking at it. She's just blinking like, no, no, no. I'm like, you guys aren't even reading it. I don't even think it said anything that bad, you know? From what we've heard, it hasn't, it didn't say anything bad.

It's like, please stop fighting. Please stop finding the thing. So Stephanie, Stephanie's like, why is Jody texting Larsa? Nobody's significant others should be texting any lady. We are women. We don't text. Men cannot text women. This is insane.

And Alexia does her stand. up routine, which is like, he feels like he's like trying to stick up for Lisa and like for Lisa. See, ladies, that's the problem. We can't tell our men too much because they're damned if they do, damned if they don't, right? This is the difference between men and women, am I right? Like, men, you tell them too much, then they get involved. If you tell them too little, they don't get involved. Am I right, ladies? Anyone? Anyone? Did she say it later where she was like, this is why we can't let them watch a show. Don't let them watch a show because they go crazy.

was really funny I don't think I remember hearing her say that Oh I think Well maybe it's just in my head But I think that when she said that She was like this is you can't let them watch a show Or you can't let them watch it Because this is what they do

They get mad And so Lisa joins the Larsa group And she's like Listen can we just stop Larsa go back to dinner come on She's like no I'd like want to get off this ride like Lisa Like I've got to like get like off like the ride like So Lisa just ignores her

She's like, oh, God, I'm going upstairs. I'll take the call. Just go eat, like Jesus Christ. So, Adriana's like, Larsa, there's two separate issues. Jory should not be texting you. And then there's Lisa with lawyers and her children. This is very bad. Let me tell you when law started.

Law started over the sale of a gods. People were very upset about it in Jesus time. They're like, Jesus Christ. We don't have time for this right now, Adriana. It's been going out for like three years, like every day is like the worst day of my life. life like come on now like so Gertie goes all the way upstairs to find Lisa who's like crying and then Larissa's like I mean from the time you sit down it's like do you have a notary do you have this do you have that do you have this and that do you have XYZ and this and that and

XYZ it's like change the whole dynamic like like no one wants to hear about a notary when you're having dinner like notary public more like it should be notary private it. Larsa, you changed the dynamic when you start screaming and yelling at people at dinner. Like, you're the one who turned this into a big fight and started getting up and leaving and doing all this. I love it. It's like, she changed the dynamic.

Like, it was like so peaceful, like. Larsa just does not like that Lisa might be centering, like, getting, getting attention because Lisa does have whatever that, for whatever reason, she has some sort of legal issue that needs to be resolved in an hour and she needs a notary. And she's, like, freaking out. And Larsa hates us like, oh my God, just as usual. Like, she's, Larsa is mad that Lisa might be pulling the attention to the cameras at that moment because of this notary. Or she may even believe that Lisa planned it so that way this would happen.

So Larsa's just like, obviously really pissed off. But Larson is only pissed up because she wants to be the one in that position who gets all the attention. I'm notary, like. So Larsa's like, yeah, don't have the vibe like for the rest of us like. We're here to like celebrate like this is like to Loo like Loo. It's like to Loo. Like, so then upstairs Lisa's sobbing and she's like, what a fucking bitch. Like, what the fuck?

Like, leave me alone. Okay, you know what? Notary first. Notary first. Okay, let's go to a more quiet place. Okay, let's go. Let's sit. Okay, we're going to a new room.

New room. We're going to our third location and 30 seconds on this TV show. Okay. We're here to focus on what's most important. A notary. A notary public. I swear to God, I've never had so much attention put onto a notary in the history of Bravo.

The notary needs to come on screen. I need the notary to be a character. No, Terry. Remember? She was already on Salt Lake City. No, Terry. No. I forgot about that.

We need to have no Terry show up on this show. No, Terry. Oh, yeah. Listen here. Listen here, Lisa. You think you're going to have dinner? This ain't no time for dinner. I'm no Terry, and it's time to get some shit signed.

Have a seat. You've got one hour. You better get the sign before appetizers come. You're screwed. No, Terry. No, Terry's such a bitch. So Gertie's like, oh my God, things are stressful. Here comes Gertie.

Gertie is going to solve this. Okay, what do we got to do? What do we got to do? Let's get a game plan. Okay, you've got a notary? We've got to sign that first. The second thing we're going to do, we're going to eat something. Okay, you got that? Okay, do you feel better?

Me too. Me too. Me too. We got this. We got it. My darling, this is a walk in the park to other situations that I've been in the midst of, such as a groom, saying no at the altar. Oh, that's right, everyone. A groom saying no at the altar.

Easy. I could do this in my sleep. Goodified. And this is how I handled it at the wedding. The groom has said no at the altar. The groom has said no at the altar. Get the bride's text, put them on a screen, and embarrass the bitch. All right.

The groom is paying for this wedding. All right, he's paying for 75% of it. All right, let's embarrass the groom too. Do something embarrassing to the groom too, okay? By the way, is my headshot still? above the bride and the groom where they're supposed to be standing okay great great it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappence commercial it's your man Nick Cannon I'm here to bring you my new podcast Nick Cannon at night I've heard

y'all been needing some advice in the love department so who better to help than yours truly now I'm serious every week I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man, we got you. Catching feelings for your sneaky link, let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom, let's talk about it. Consider this a non-judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, situationships, and everything in between. It's going to be sexy, freaky, messy, and you know what? You'll just have to watch this show.

So don't be shy. Join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night. or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad-free? Join Wondery Plus right now. I just feel like I'm paralyzed like a cat, like a scary cat. Oh, paralyzed like a cat.

That old chestnut, you know, when you feel paralyzed like a cat? Cats are known for being paralyzed. You know, when I think of a cat, I don't think of something that's nimble and moves quickly and can get everywhere all at once. I think of something that's just paralyzed. Paralyzed.

Paralyzed. Scaddy cat. Help me. I'm paralyzed. Paralyzed. So Alexia back at the table is like, you know what? I just don't believe you have an hour.

Like, that doesn't sound right. I've never heard of a notary like that. Like, that's crazy. Like, what is there a timer? I don't believe it. I love Alexia with all her notary knowledge. He's like, this is not that notary's work. Okay.

No, this is not a note. Look, okay, it's not called a yesery. It's called a notary. And I say no. So Adrianna's like, Alexia, you know how men play games. Okay, babe, Lenny knows she's here. If Todd came for you and you needed to get something. No, no, no, no.

You leave Todd out of it. You leave Todd out of it. No more talking about Todd. We have had enough of Todd. I will not have Leonard. Okay, okay. Jeez. I wish they replayed that moment later on the episode when Alexia was patting herself

on the back for handling herself like a lady at all times in foreign countries. she's like leave him out of it for favor we're not talking about thought anymore por favor yeah this is all going on Lisa's about to leave her kiss so why is Jody sending you text I mean why isn't he helping her Jody should be helping

meanwhile Jody is on the phone with Lisa so Gertie gets on the phone she's like okay Jody it's Gertie hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi do you have any text messages from the notary can we put them up on the screen no okay Jody tell me everything tell me what has to be done right now. I'm on it. Gertie is on it. Do you need bouquets? Does the notary need

bouquets? I can get them there in a second. What about a cake? Do you need table arrangement? Do you need a seating charge? What does the notary need? I will provide it. Jody, before we do anything else, I need you to know this. The groom has left the bride. The groom has left the bride. He's like, oh, Lisa. Do you see a DJ? Do you see the DJ, Jody? Do you need a band? Band or DJ? Which do you prefer? Past apps or no past apps? We're doing buffet? Bafet table service? What do you need, Jody? Just tell me. I see an actor, I think, from Roseanne. Oh, no, they sent the wrong DJ again. God, they keep sending him. Lisa, I think you have until 5 p.m. Eastern, and that's an hour and three minutes from now, okay?

There's a girl named Giselle. She's an online notary. You remember her? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember was that. We used to Zazel before. Yeah, you did it before. You just got to go to a computer. Oh, no, a computer. I was going to find a computer. I was going to find a computer in an hour three minutes. You can use your phone. Okay, I got a phone. Okay, I can do that. Lisa, don't get yourself wrapped up in these fights, okay?

Okay, okay? I mean, I'll show you the text messages. And Gertie, Jody, Jody, Jodie, Gertie, Gertie, Gertie, Jody, Jody, Gertie, clean the laugh, clean the laugh, clean the laugh. Copy, copy, copy. Okay, Jody, listen, with Larsa, don't even engage any longer. Forget her number, okay? Don't text her directly.

It's not a good look, Jody. It's not a good look, Jody. Okay. Next time you think of taking. mixing Larsa, go into the room for some AC. Are we still using that? Go to the room for some AC, Jody. Oh, I'm having some right now. Look, now I just really need Lisa to make sure she gets this notary Republic, okay? That's all I want right now for Lisa. Oh, exactly. Exactly. That's my focus as well. Exactly. Meeting adjourned. We did it. Hold on.

Stay on the phone for one more minute while I nod consistently. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Eagle has landed. Exactly. Eagle has landed. So the other women are ordering, and Adrian was so intense in the scene. I just have to applaud Gertie for her being like, we are going to figure this out. Notary, got it, got it, got it. Lisa, you heard that? Notary? Okay, great. You're not going to text the girls no more? Okay, great. We got it. We got it. All right, everybody. Let's hold hands. Let's say a prayer. We're going to do this. We're going to get out on the field.

We're going to find the groom. We're going to drag him back by his ankles and say, you don't leave a wedding. You show up at a divorce like everybody else. Okay. Got it. Got it. Lisa needs that, though, because if she's on her own, she starts to spiral. She needs someone to come in and take care of her. Because, again, she's kind of like a little brat. So, Adriana is announcing that she went to mass today because I'm sensitive. I can't do with this anymore. And Larissa just looks at her, goes, in her, in her, like, angry, her true Larsa voice,

she's like, Adriana, just go to the corner and cry. And she's like, but why? He's like, all you do is make excuses for someone else's bad behavior. He's like, I'm not making excuses. I'm saying, I can't take it. it anymore. I had to go to mass and I had to make tears, okay? What kind of mass you have to go to? Like, get out of here. Nobody believes you, Adriana. No, I'm telling you, when people hurt, I feel it. I feel it right here in my heart.

Your heart is on the other side, stupid. Still. Adriana always like, I mean, when I think of an empath, I'm like, oh, it's Adriana. She's the one who feels people's emotions. She's definitely got a path in her personality, yes, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, I do not appreciate when people who gang up on someone, I've been there myself, and it didn't feel good. I'm like, you're the one who's always trying to get people to your sides. That way you can lead a gang up on someone every single season. Yeah.

So Julia, Julia's like, you know what would make everybody feel better if we made kisses? I will kiss everybody. Oh, sit down with your fucking junior high girls making out thing. Sit down. No one needs to see you giving away your friends. free makeouts with everybody. Gross. Sit down. So Lisa finishes up with whatever she needs to do. And she's like, this is a major, this is a major, major life moment. Okay, I'm getting divorced. And I'm on a girl's trip at a dinner with a crazy lady yelling at me and making about her. And I'm just like,

grateful to have two of my friends there for me. Like, but is that, was this the divorce? I don't think if this was the divorce signing that, and that's the problem with Lisa is that she's like, this is such a major event. I'm getting divorced. I'm like, but you've been getting divorced for years now. There is no expiration date on Lenny trauma. There is none, but like you can't make every time you sign a document be like a moment that you need to have like a celebration. Okay. Like when you get to the big one where it's the last document, that's when you can party. The final document party. Yeah. So Lisa, Adriana Gertie come back to the table and Marisol's like, monkey, everything sounds. She's like everything solves. Okay, let's just have a little chit chat. Okay, what's the problem? What's the

problem. But you'd like tell me what the problem. Like it's like, I don't know. I've been dealing with legal stuff. It's been very difficult. But your boyfriend like is texting me like things like he shouldn't like be texting me like. So like what were they? I couldn't read it. It was like really hard, but it was a lot.

It hurt my feelings. So Lisa is like well everyone, all America this is the harassing text message that Jody sent to Larsa. Larsa, stop. I don't want this fight. You can't point at the sky and tell me it's not blue. Uh-uh. You actually can. It's not blue. Especially at sunset. Okay. Stupid. Uh, anyway. The text

continue. Listen, I don't want to argue with you. Clearly, we're not on the same page. What fight? Have a good night. Jody responded, we don't need to be on the same page. It's in the past. If you let it go. Yeah. Nothing too inflammatory. No, nothing too inflammatory. But, you know, it is a guy texting the woman in a fight. But at least it does have a point later where she's like well she keeps bringing up his name on TV so I don't know but I still think in general like a housewives rule you shouldn't the guys shouldn't get involved you know yeah um but on the other hand it's also this cast taking a text and making it the worst thing ever like this I don't I think they still haven't read the gertie text that she put him on the screen

they're like oh my god the worst thing to ever happen I mean I think that like Jody was just trying to de-escalate and Larsa is kind of like what like who is he to try to de-escalate when this is between me and Lisa, he should butt out. I think that's what, I don't think that he, hearing these texts that this is an accurate representation, it doesn't sound like what he was saying was like that bad. But I do understand it's like, hey, like, this is between me and my coworker at the moment, okay?

And we're trying to have a scene. So like, butt out of it. But she, but the reason he's texting her is because she said in the elevator fight, she was bringing up Miami and saying he was like a Cokehead in Miami and like raging at everybody in Miami or whatever. So that's why I think he's texting her. For Milan.

Milan, Milan, yeah, sorry. The other me. So, Lars is like, I never involved him. Your boyfriend is the one who involved himself when we're in Milan. And then we see a month ago that Larsa is saying that Jody, Jody, actually the kernel of it is that Jody told Larsa that he believes that Larsa set up the photo of Marcus doing Coke. So Lisa, like, you're acting like a victim right now. Okay, you're acting like a victim.

Now hold on one second. I need to find another notary. Oh, my God, my children. She's the villain. She's like, you're disgusting. Like, Alexia, could you like tell her to shut up? Because, like, it works when you do it. You're making it worse, okay?

Like, the way you're being right now, you're just going to keep yelling at each other. Okay, don't do that. Don't do that. We all know that's not. Listen, we know if there's a problem, this is how you do it. Let me, everybody watch the star right now.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, no, please. Please, don't ever let me meet around the analysis again. please okay try it victim she's the victim okay like oh this happened to me and that happened to me and this and that and xyz and i have a yeast infection it's like non-stop like yeast infection she goes yeah she'd like like has a yeast infection yeah she's like a yeast infection she's like yeah sorry bad i saw you taking notes by the way and you're taking notes she's like Yeah, well, I take notes like a student.

The names that she's called me, that she called me a groupie. Can you believe it? And so Stephanie's like, do you take notes about me? Do you talk about my private jet? Do you talk about how wealthy I am? Do you talk about the show, Jigroupes? Do you give us good publicity? Do you give us a good write-up?

Or do you have a good review? No, not yet. Listen, I take notes because of my divorce. I've learned you got to take notes about everything. I mean, look, here's all the things she called me. A groupie. Uh, I forgot. I forgot the other words, you see?

I also said you had a yeast infection about two minutes. go, oh, hold on, I forgot that. I'm going to write that now. Hold on. I made a sick burn about notary private instead of notary public. Oh, okay, hold on. Let me write that one down. Okay, hey, that was mean.

And Kiki's like, no, you don't do that when you're having conversations with your friends. And she goes, yeah, it's smart. You guys should all take notes. First of all, why is Lisa getting shit for wanting to take notes? The person you guys should be giving shit to is Yolanda Foster, who taught Erica Jane how to take notes. That's how this all started in Housewivesland. And it's also very good advice because Yolanda told Erica to do it because of reunions. You go to the reunion and then suddenly everybody's giving you all this crap and you don't remember what was said and it was edited a certain way.

So Yolanda told her when you leave the set and there was a fight or something, you need to write it all down so you can remember in the argument. And that's what Erica does. And I think it's very smart. It's very smart housewives behavior. Yeah. The problem is that Lisa is doing it actively in front of them. and I think that's where it feels wrong because it's like, there's like a stenographer right there.

Like Marisol said last week, what am I a stenographer? So I think like it's like, take your notes, but after you're done shooting or go to the bathroom or something, but if you're sitting there like writing down actually on the fly, people get, they get weirded out by that. Well, too bad. Then Liza, then Larsa should stop being mean.

And that's what's going to happen. It's like Shannon Bador being all abusive and then being shocked that someone would whip out of them. and record it. You guys are on TV in front of cameras. You're constantly being recorded and now you're going to get mad that somebody's taking notes about it. Larsa's like, can you imagine like being friends with someone who's like taking notes on you? Like can you even imagine that? Like at least take a photo and put it on the gram, but not just notes like. It's dangerous. I mean, where Lisa really went wrong is telling them that she was taking notes. Like, why would

you do that? You know, just take the notes. You don't need to be telling people what you're, I think Lisa was just so proud that she was spelling things, you know? Yeah. Well, I like, yeah, and Alexia saying it was all scary. She's like, it's very scary. It's very scary. So Larca says, I'm not sitting in a court of law where you have to take notes on our conversations. Can she even spell dumb?

DMUB? Stupid Larsa. I love that that's the biggest word she could come up with. Could she even spell like dumb? So Adriana says, oh, well, she's taking. notes to keep it straight. Might not be a bad idea. Oh, you can't take mental notes. Like, I've been taking mental notes the entire trip. Well, there's no difference between a mental note and a written note. It's the same purpose. Yeah. I don't feel like that was a strong,

a strong case. So, because the whole idea, the principle of it is that you're keeping tabs and you're keeping, like, you're keeping score of all this stuff. And they don't like that. But like, a mental note and a written note, I think are not that different. So, Lisa's like, well, when you're in legal stuff, like, I am. This isn't legal, Lisa. This is a group of friends, Lisa. Okay? This is a group of friends.

It's not legal. Friends don't do that like. Yeah. Well, we're not really friends, actually. Okay. We're not. You don't need to sit across from me then. You can, like, sit over there, like.

That's, like, Larson's big move this dinner. Anytime someone annoys her, she banishes them to the corner of the table. She did to Adriana earlier. If you're going to cry, like, cry over there, like. Yeah, go to mask, like. So, Gertie's like, oh my gosh. They're going to do this all night. Can we have fun?

I want to that side. Let me kiss people. Oh, yeah, you haven't been a great friend like you always say, Lars, okay, okay? And so Julia starts kissing Marisol, and then she starts trying to change the energy by kissing everybody. You know what? Take your herpes energy over there. Get the fuck out of here with your energy changing. I'm like, this bad enough I have to listen to people fight.

Now I've got to get sexually mauled by your creepy goat ass. Get over there. Well, that being said, Gertie and Julia did kiss. really tried to give tongue. So, uh, they seem to have been, become friends again. Um, now it's the morning, Alexia's facetaming Johnny. She's like, oh, Johnny, I'm sorry, I don't want to make this face time. I want this face time to be all about you, all about you. Can you believe? Dodd. Then we go to Gertie and Adriana, uh, going to Lisa. And so Lisa's got boots on. And Adriana's like, come on, let's have fun. I don't know. They're all splitting apart to do their group

stuff and so lexia julia stephanie larza and mary soul go walk through a tile making neighborhood and talk about how beautiful everything is and they go meet paula the ceramicist and she goes have you ever painted on ceramic before and lexie goes no we haven't even like painted it like on paper what alexia has never painted on paper her entire life no i've heard of this concept of painting but i don't know not in front of frankie i almost painted and painted but then frankie was I was like, I don't want to do this in front of Frankie. And Stephanie says, I doodle all the time in meetings. I take notes that say Massoud with hearts.

Jackson, by the way, my son, my new adopted son, Jackson made a Picasso painting on my truck with a rock. Okay. Picasso must have early access to the season. I love that he's just like completely fucking up our car. His Picasso painting, I'm not sure. Martinez said it spells word, but if it spells word, it says, fuck you, get off show. Don't understand.

Martinez like, well, I guess it's open season. And she starts, like, dipping tennis balls and banging them against her truck. What are you doing to my truck? Everyone, it is not canvas. So, Alexia tells Maryself, please, don't paint what you painted in the room yesterday. That was too much. And she's like, oh, yeah, I was milk in Italian, guys. It's been a while since I've talked about penises.

I've been really good penises and everybody. I love them. So now they all take turns drawing penises. Julius is horrifying. You know, at first I was like, okay, whatever. Because I think they did this on Potomac once, where they all had to, like, draw, like, vaginas or something like, that. But Julia's, what was funny is that she was like, what, you think a lesbian cannot draw penis? Let me do it. And she like, it's honestly such an easy shape to do. And like hers was some weird bone. It was, okay, the head of the penis, right, instead of being like a circle or a mushroom, was split into like a double-headed dragon or something. And I was like, what kind of penis have you been with, girl? You had a.

Double header? It was all strained. And she signed it, too. She signed it like, oh, this is very accurate. I will sign it. I am artist now. Like, it was so deranged. And also, Stephanie's was crazy, too.

She did like a big old mushroom head, and it looked like, it literally, it looked like an umbrella. I was like, um. Hers was the scariest. Okay, so she had almost a normal looking penis. So it had like the head, but then it had these little wings that came out of the side and went from the shaft to the head. and then they had lines on them like dragon wings,

like it was spreading its wings. I think what is you're trying to reduce the mushroom? That's one old dick, okay? That's a lot of foreskin going crazy, okay? When the foreskin unravels like wings, you're not supposed to like be happy about. Something's wrong, is what I'm saying. Yeah, I think it seemed like she had made the mushroom head too mushroom-y,

so she was trying to like now contour it back into the shaft, but now it just looked like it had dragon wings. which was not what I needed to envision for Massoud. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So the other group is just walking through Seville, Seville, and they're going through all these beautiful old palaces, and Adriana, who has, you know, a degree in art history, and is also the resident expert on all things, is basically explaining every single

thing that they walk around and through. Yeah. And so she's like, the name Al-Qasar comes from Arabic, which means the fortress. Gertie's like, oh, we've got our own private inspector gadget over here. Inspector Gadget has agreed to marry the Al-Qasar, okay? Specter Gadgett has agreed to marry the Al-Qasar. Yes, she's the Jack of All-Trades Miss Inspector Gadget, which I'd love because inspector gadget has nothing to do with like art history or like having an awareness of you know

sevia or like what's her outfit that she was wearing i think it was the outfit that she was wearing like a trench coat or something she was wearing like a little hat and trench coat so she called her inspector gadget which was just so funny to me so the gold leaf ceiling and everything and she's like this was the place of birth of maria de bourbon okay she was a queen and i'm like oh my god so we hear about adriana she's like i've traveled the 58 different countries. I lived in Paris and studied our history. I also lived in Florence. I studied Italian art and then Rome. And this is why what I'm about to be like place. This is why I'm able to be in places like this and understand. Listen, I've been to a lot of places too. And guess what

I know? Dick, I don't know shit. Okay. So good on you. Yes. So then back over by the tiles, Stephanie turns to Larsa and goes, Larsa, I want to make sure you're comfortable. Do you want Lisa to be invited on the plane because I want to make sure you're happy. Now, this is a trap. This is, because the thing is this, it was not even on the table. They were just all going to go on a plane. Whether they were fighting or not, they were all going to go on a plane. Stephanie has now created a situation where it's like, oh, there's an option that we can

exclude Lisa. So she is doing this truly as a power play so she can disinvite Lisa, I believe. She's doing it over and over. She's playing the same card over and over. She just did it on the way here. Only some of you can come on my plane because it's, like too small for everybody for a long trip. So I'm going to pick my favorites. And then she tried, she pulled that. And then she tried to say, oh, Marisol, do you want to come without

Alexia? Oh, Alexia, do you want to come without Marisol? And then that failed. So now she's going to do it again. This girl is a horrible, horrible human being. Yeah, she's also a brat. So Laura says, like, I was shaking so bad yesterday. Like, I don't know if I want to be in the same plane as her. Yeah, but she wasn't violent and she wasn't like, there's no. There's reason why you should feel uncomfortable. You can be annoyed at her, but not uncomfortable, not enough to exclude her and force a mass inconvenience and expensive inconvenience too. I mean, it's so obnoxious that she's now pulling the card that she's uncomfortable around

Lisa. So Julia's like, well, there is nothing. There is something more about my friend, Derek, that I didn't tell you why it's so important for me to go because we are going to ask Derek and gay husband to be good parents. And they're like, oh. I don't think anyone truly cares, but they're like, that's so sweet. It's very important for me to have the boys have male figures in their life who are hours and hours away and will never see boys. So it is extremely important that Martina is not the only decrepit person in this relationship with the word family.

So now we are going to have godparents that are 90. I'm like, what, you're worried that Martina is just too feminine for these boys. I worry that Martina won't be around to take care of the boys. I'm picking people 20 years even older. Like, what the hell? Old, old gay man in a faraway country. So, so anyway, she's saying this to be, to sort of set the stage that, like, this is going to be an important and beautiful moment.

And you saw how I lost my mind over. just a simple Zoom call. So people better be on their best behavior. So now we go back to the others. Yeah, it's another way to manipulate getting Lisa out of there because now we have to worry about her babies. And also, I don't think that she's fully adopted those kids yet. I think that they're still waiting on the adoption to be final. Are you supposed to be giving godparents to kids that aren't your kids yet? What the hell? Their rules on this are confusing the hell out of me. I'm not really sure what's going on here. But I mean, I guess maybe they'll get a gift or something from the guys, so go for it.

Don't know. Get them gift. They deserve it. So, yeah, the tickets can get a gift, aka a kit that will take the scratches out of a truck. So otherwise known as money from

a gay man. Why did you accept money from a gay man? It's going to be like their first reunion on the valley. Michelle will be there. Why did you exempt money from a gay man to pay your bills? to pay your bills so Alexia wants

so Alexa wants Julia to talk to Lisa because she doesn't want Julia she's like I don't want you to not invite Lisa basically she's like give her a warning and Stephanie says Lisa gets away with anything in this group she's been friends with them for a really long time and they have learned to just accept the way she is

and continue to allow her to be a destructive way which I think is actually correct I think they have just gotten used to it it's kind of like what you were saying before just accept her for who she is but like they're accepting really unacceptable behavior honestly but it's not behavior that would make you feel uncomfortable where you couldn't get onto a plane with her I mean I don't know I just can't I mean I look I obviously I don't agree I just think that Lisa is an asshole I just think that they're being so mean to Lisa I really do I think they're just being jerks and when Stephanie says this when she goes you know what she's been friends with them for a really long time and they've just learned to accept her well yeah that's called friendship Stephanie I know you don't have any of those but that's how it is You don't just like kick people off of planes and kick people out of your life and stop talking to every sister you've ever had and then cause problems between your mom and your sister. So they're not speaking. That's not what friendship and love is.

You know, you have people the only normal, listen, it's like me ma says, the only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. Everyone's got something. You're going to have to learn to deal with fucking something with everybody. Just try and make Lisa on time and if not leave her. But you're new here and you don't get to come into a 10-year relationship and start telling people that they need to all band together. kick people off that you don't like. Fuck off, Steved. Well, that's a separate issue.

That's a separate issue. I think that Lisa does act like a spoiled brat, and I think they have just gotten all used to it because it's easier just to be used to. They all act like spoiled brats, though. That's the thing. Like, on this cast, who doesn't act like an asshole? Alexia's making everything about her and fucking Todd. She makes her best friend coming into town.

She has a party for him, makes it all about Todd, and sobs the entire time. Mary Saul has a wedding every five minutes. to get attention. Larza is always dating some fucking star and doing only fans to get attention. They're all psychopaths on this show. They're all crazy. They are, but only one of them makes them wait

an hour or two hours. That's true. I can't say that that's okay to make her wait. I won't say that. I'm not saying that they're, I'm not, I think you should accept your friend's personalities maybe as they are. But when it's their behaviors and their actions

are the things that are the problem, like in terms of the impacting group, that's not acceptable i'm not saying it's acceptable i'm saying this new girl has no right that's a whole other issue that's a whole other issue i'm fine with that i'm meaning i'm fine with your argument on that i'm just saying let's not make it that lisa is some angel some okay let's not say that monk over here monkey all right monkey's not some angel who's like the victim of like this gang up here she's creating her own issues okay i agree stephanie is her own stepney has her own idiot i agree Lisa has asshole behaviors and i wouldn't sit around and

wait for her for two minutes like they do and i've said that as adriana says as adriana says there are two issues here and that's that's the thing Lisa being late over and over and over again should be called out and should be shamed and by late like really late like really really really late and um stephanie you brandishing her plain like like a weapon like me giving out jolly ranchers in the back of the school bus in fourth grade just to make friends that is also shitty and stupid as well and they they can coexist yeah um so by the way that was not an art for anyone who's wondering who's listening at

home that was not an awkward silence ronnie was just sipping no i was drinking i was taking a nice big thirsty go because i'm a thirsty big people like oh my god they're fighting they're fighting right No, no, no. It's not fighting. I just, I just, ultimately, I really like Lisa. And I think, I think the way that they're dealing with her now is better than they've ever dealt with her, which is just leaving. She's not going to make the flight. Fine. She has to go to take a train. She doesn't want to go to dinner on time. Fine. They just leave. And then she shows up late. I just don't understand why they're doing that. And now they're so mad. It's like, Lisa comes to, to dinner two hours late. Yes, is it rude. Sure. And saying, Lisa, you're rude, I guess is totally fine. But. Ultimately, why be so mad? It just seems like a waste of time to me. But you know what? I also understand that I'm repeating myself over and over again, and I don't need to do that either.

See, I'm becoming crazy like these people. I want to address something. I do think that their fury at Lisa having to deal with a notary at dinner feels a little manufactured, not manufactured, but like that, there's no reason for them to be mad at her about that. She got a call that she has to deal with a notary. I mean, does she make it everyone's business? Yes. Should you just step away and deal with it? Sure. But I don't think it's the end of the world. Larsa, that was Larsa being an asshole making that like the biggest drama in the world. And I agree. I think that like rather than Stephanie having this whole drama about like she's not invited because she's going to like she's going to whatever this edit the jetty kid is, she's going to violate it. If Lisa is late to the plane, Lisa's late to the plane and she will have to make her own way to Marbea. But I don't think there has to be any more thought than that.

Yeah, and then her blaming everything, her being like, oh, you want to make excuses for her? It's been years where you've given her chances to be late and disrespect to you. And she's also come in and ruined the environment, which is her pronunciation of stuff is fun. She's ruined it. She's, you know what? You know what? She's going to bury this entire trip with all the things that she's ruined from it. She's going to bury it with ruined.

But accusing her of ruining the environment is silly when Larsa. is the one having a fit and stalking off and getting up and leaving dinner and telling everybody to shut up and telling Adriana to shut up. It's like, it's fine for Larsa because she's your friend, but you're not calling her out like you call everybody else out. So, be fair

Stephanie. Not that I would expect that from you, but come on, man. So now given the option, Lars is like, I don't want to be on a plane with her like. I don't want to be in a car with her like. I don't want to be in a train with her like. I don't want to be on a tram with her like.

I don't want to be on a tandem bike with her like I don't want to be on a skateboard with her like I don't want to be on anything with her like okay well you know what the good news is the plane rides only 22 minutes so that's the good news everyone is she's saying the good news is you guys can all deal because it's only 22 minutes

or she's saying the good news is it'll be easy for Lisa because it's only 22 minutes not that inconvenient yeah she's just saying you only have to deal with her 22 minutes shut up so Stephanie's like everyone knows there's such a thing as Jetiket It's etiquette on a jet

For those of you who didn't know But Lisa's always like Figure out the pun And I already think that Rule number one of jeticate She's going to break it And who wants bad vibes in the sky? Nobody. I'm going to kick her off

For being possibly late To a plane. Yes. Potentially late. So Larissa's like I'm in a situation You're in a situation Where you're with someone That's taking notes and saying them

to someone who doesn't give a shit about you guys like wait who she's sending the notes to jody is that what she's saying like it's like you know something's going on with her you know lisa was never like this it's like i don't know she like going through a divorce or something like something's going on with her it's crazy you know lisa would never take a note this is like crazy like she never even took him in school that's why she got in trouble and mary soul says ah it's like she's thinking more now or something i mean all the wheels are spinning i mean it's disgusting who needs a thinking Lisa this is terrible

this is where evolution goes wrong okay people like Lisa weren't meant to think monkey the expression is monkey see monkey do not monkey see monkey think we've all seen what happens when monkeys start to think I saw planet of the apes James Franco is dead

he's dead now what would happen if Lisa takes over this planet would be terrible we gotta get her to stop thinking I don't want to get sued But I like my money. And Lars is like, well, that's what I'm, like, saying. Like, I don't want to, like, be on the plane with her.

Like, like, I'm not willing to lose anything for someone else's, like, situation. Like, and, like, I think you can all, like, agree to like that, like. Okay, now you guys are making it that they're suing you. No one is suing you. She's saying that you called her name so she can remember to call you out of the reunion for all the names you called her. Okay. And we've seen Lisa at reunions, and we see why she needs to take notes. Because Lisa, the reunion will be like, you were mean to me.

How? That time. You did that. Lenny. So other group, Lisa's saying, this is the first time I've been on a trip. Okay, this is the first time on the trip, this whole trip that I've been in the moment.

I have had so much personal stuff going on and I have to say like the lawsuits have like taken up so much of my time. I'm like, are you really in the moment? Because you're talking about the lawsuits actively right now while you're in the moment. Do you know how hard it was being in Bali with lawyers?

It was so difficult. Those hardest vacation I've ever been on. I haven't had a break, guys. Guys, Logan has been asking us to fix the relationship, and I just feel like I'm crumbling. So Kiki's like, well, I don't feel like it's okay for somebody's boyfriend to be calling another person in the group. She's like, well, she started it.

I mean, she literally said his name, so it was about him. So yes, I told him. And Kiki's like saying, you know, it's bad enough that Jody is texting the women, but it's the amount of texas and that just it's not right. So at least... How do you say it? Texts. Me too. I say texts. Not Texas's, but like the women on the show have been saying

Texas, Texas. And that pops up every now and then. Yeah, people say it differently. How so I especially say texties, I think, or Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. That's what they say. It's kind of like Texas, but Texas. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap. It says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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