Watch What Crappens - #298: Welcome to the Berserk-shires (Special Guest: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor)

Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, just a few notes before the show starts. Coming up on this episode, we have Stephanie Wilder-Taylor from the For Crying Out Loud podcast. She will be joining us midway through our Real Housewives of New York City segment, even though we say that she'll be joining on There Goes the Motherhood. She actually comes

Starting point is 00:00:37 on earlier than we anticipated. So keep an eye out for that. Also, we talk about covering Below Deck Mediterranean, but we went so long with New York City and There Goes the Motherhood that we actually don't get to it on this episode. But we hope you still come and listen. And remember that on June 9th at 8 p.m. in West Hollywood, we are going to be having our 300th episode anniversary party at Revolver Bar. So come join us for that. Hope you enjoy the show.

Starting point is 00:01:03 Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. party at Revolver Bar. So come join us for that. Hope you enjoy the show. Watch what happens when there's so much that crappens. Watch what happens when there's so much that crappens. Watch what happens when there's so much that crappens. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the Banter Blender. And joining me on this, our 298th episode. Oh my God. Oh my God. Is the hilarious, the dumbfounded, the so warm and lovely Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hi, Ronnie. Hello, Ben. Hello. Hello. Oh my God. Oh, there's so much to talk about today. First of all, I want to continue in the pattern I established on the previous episode by shilling my blog once again

Starting point is 00:02:14 because this season of Real Housewives of New York City has been so excellent, and of course we're going to talk about the latest episode today. I mean, we have to. I couldn't help myself. I went and I did a photo cap of the entire season so far of Real Housewives of New York City. So if that's something that sounds like fun for you, then go to bsideblog.com and check it out there. Do it. Go do that. In terms of this very own podcast here, remember you can always subscribe on iTunes.

Starting point is 00:02:45 That's really cool, because that way when the episodes come out, they come directly into your iTunes, you know, wherever. Your iTunes thing. Your iTunes thing. Go find all our social media links, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, et cetera,

Starting point is 00:02:58 at watchworkrappins.com. Go to facebook.com forward slash watchworkrappins to, you know, be part of our Crap Ends community. And everyone's always posting stuff there. We usually have threads going when shows are airing where people are leaving comments on the fly and just all sorts of great links. So it's a great community to be a part of and it requires minimal effort. So go to Facebook.com forward slash Watch Where Crap Ends. And finally, you can support us at Patreon.com forward slash watch where crap ends.

Starting point is 00:03:30 People who support our podcast get access to things like a daily bonus, not daily, a weekly bonus episode. Oh my God. Can you imagine a daily one? This week we talked about a lot of things, but we really went hardcore into Food Network Star. We decided we're going to chat about that for the next few weeks. So go to patreon.com forward slash watch what happens to get to find out different ways you can support and the different rewards you'll get for different tiers of supporting.

Starting point is 00:04:01 And that's it. Yeah, very nice. Oh, my God. get for different tiers of supporting and that's it yeah very nice oh my god it was i mean this is this is gonna be a big episode for us because today we have our our dear dear friend stephanie wilder taylor stephanie taylor wilder i always get her last name confused it's wilder taylor wilder taylor okay my instincts were correct i'm like of course i could look it up ahead of time but you know this is this is the way we do things we love stephanie even if i always flip-flop her bat her her last name um she's gonna come on always know your first name and your um avatar on the internet okay that's

Starting point is 00:04:35 how you know people on podcast world exactly no uh stephanie is from the for crying out loud podcast which has been so generous to us us over the past year or so. So we're excited to have her on. She will be on to talk about There Goes the Motherhood a little bit later. But before that, we will be discussing the epic, epic, epic episode of Real Housewives of New York City that aired just last night. Wow. Wow. Wow. I mean, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this episode was up there with Scary

Starting point is 00:05:12 Island. Oh, my God. It was worse. This one was worse. I mean, except that Jill did... In terms of how memorable it is. It just felt like it was an instant classic, right? Yes.

Starting point is 00:05:24 The day that Bethany snorted too much adderall in the bathroom jesus christ angry drug addict lady calm yourself yeah this this i mean i'm almost sad that this show doesn't air during the holidays because it would have been a massive holiday treat um so we're gonna get into that. We'll also talk some below deck Mediterranean. But first, but first, we have the good old Crap It's Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag.

Starting point is 00:05:57 Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag.

Starting point is 00:06:03 Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. Mailbag. I'm a good to go for a girl friend, to bring it on. I'm saying Let's go for it girlfriend Bring it on Okay We may not get to all of these

Starting point is 00:06:13 Because we have a little bit of a time constraint Going on so we'll try to get to a bunch Whatever ones we don't get to we'll get to next week Delazity says Love you guys I stumbled upon your podcast at the mall last year When trying to make sense of Kim Richards' craziness and was like, ah, thank you. Your humor and assessment of the situation was on the mark and so refreshing. But after listening to you guys for a year, I have to tell you that some of my favorite episodes are Melbourne related.

Starting point is 00:06:39 I know they are not currently on the air in the U.S., but could you please just watch them online, lol? This season is amazing. Or, if not, could you please give me a little jeaner and chiquer offering just a little bit of friendly advice to the New York City ladies? Well, at the very least, we can definitely offer some friendly advice. Well, that's more of an Andrea thing than a jeaner and chicker thing. I'd like to offer you a little friendly advice. You're a bitch. I just want to offer you a little friendly advice. You're a bitch. I just want to offer you a little bit of friendly advice.

Starting point is 00:07:06 Next time you guys are trying to have a pissing matchup over whose hair is whose, just remember, I heard it first. The original mom was Mary. She was the first mom haircut. If anybody's been stolen from, it's her. Hey, who stole Eve's hair, you insignificant ass hair? Just a little bit of friendly advice. Just want to say I came up with Skinny Girl first.

Starting point is 00:07:31 Just a bit of friendly advice, dear. Putting out cold cuts ain't cooking dinner. All right, fucking idiot. Oh, I'm sure Petty Fleur has a lot to say. You know, my cocktail is very different from Skinny Girl. Mine is called Girl Who's Skinny Cocktail. Okay? If I had cocktail, it would be called

Starting point is 00:07:52 Girl Skinny, Son in Love with Her. Margarita. It's going to be a big bottle, so the title would fit. Huge bottle. I switch the bitch, switch the skinny girl. That's the name of mine. Huge bottle. I switched the bitch. Switched the skinny girl. That's the name of mine. Sitting on uneven moon. By Betty Floor.

Starting point is 00:08:11 I earned this wine by Betty Floor. As we all know, Bethany and I created the idea together. I think that if Gina was going to be somebody, it would be Ramona's fucking dog, Coco, who keeps shitting all over the place. And then they'd be like, Coco, what'd you do? was going to be somebody, it would be Ramona's fucking dog, Coco, who keeps shitting all over the place. And then they'd be like, Coco, what'd you do? She'd just be like, I didn't do it.

Starting point is 00:08:30 I didn't say it. You can't prove it. They'd show clips of her in the bathroom like, I'll just shit on the floor. I think Junior would say something like, all right, Coco, you just have to follow my advice a little bit, all right? Next time I have to shit, I say, hey, feces, get into my body right now. Get back into my body right this instant. I've reclaimed it. And then I'll go to the bathroom and I'll say,

Starting point is 00:08:57 Alright, feces, get out of my body right now. You know that feces just won't leave my body? It's a bit of a fan. Chico will be like, I think it's quite nice. I think it's quite nice. The dog peeps everywhere. I think it's lovely. What a lovely dog.

Starting point is 00:09:13 You know, in nature, the dogs peep wherever they want to. Maybe it thought your carpet was a tree, dear. I think it's lovely. I think it adds a nice little texture to your carpet. I like it quite a bit, actually. Bruce is always saying I should shit on things more, so I do. I don't understand how your dog is named Coco. Is it a chocolate?

Starting point is 00:09:33 No, Lydia, you fucking moron. It's just named after chocolate. Stupid Lydia. I'd eat your dog, but I'm on a diet. Dear Inder, I thought it was so nice of my daughter to bring your guest tea. And by my daughter, I mean, of course, your housekeeper. She's my daughter. The housekeeper offended you with the tea?

Starting point is 00:09:57 I've sent her back to Vietnam. Like, that's not where her parents live. You know that, right? I don't care. Dorinda, did you find your daughter on the side of the street also oh come on real housewives of melbourne it'll probably show here in five years whenever everybody gets there as bravo likes to say i like all these shows that have the same sayings like we had crazy ray and cousin rich or whatever what was his name cousin what's his face on there goes the motherhood the other crazy gay he's like you bitch you

Starting point is 00:10:29 wasn't a billy or something billy cousin billy yes and then we've also got uh you got to take your tampon out like that's a new one to tell the guys like yeah you need help getting that tampon out i noticed that that was like i was like why am i hearing this tampon reference over and over yeah so when bravo gets its tampon out of its butt maybe it can show real housewives of melbourne yeah exactly we're just remembering the old days and kind of mixing mixing it in with shisha shisha's going on to season four i mean bravo's got to get on it i mean what how about like less tankards more cheshire more how about less everything you're trying to do right now okay you're just xeroxing below deck it sucks wait no this tour group shit which you're trying to xerox

Starting point is 00:11:16 just make good things take the good things that you have okay well i think below deck mediterranean's good i have no problem with the fact that it's just like below deck i'm fine with that it's just a different yacht and different captain but it's basically the same show and i'm okay with it i'm enjoying watching it but i would have stopped if i weren't talking to you guys all the time i would have been like nope fuck this well i probably wouldn't have watched below deck in the first place if it weren't for this podcast to be honest i probably wouldn't have watched a lot of these things and look how much they've enlightened my life. I definitely would not have been watching

Starting point is 00:11:47 There Goes the Motherhood. But we'll get to that later. Next is Alexa Pascarella. She says, If the cast of Southern Charm went to Hogwarts, which house would the sorting hat assign to each person? The houses are Gryffindor Lion,

Starting point is 00:12:04 Slytherin Serpent, Ravenclaw Eagle, and the Hufflepuff Badger. Thanks. Love you guys. Okay. I think the Slytherins would be Beverly Hills. Well, that's Southern Charmcast. It's just Beverly Hills shows up anyway.

Starting point is 00:12:24 I think JD is probably Slytherin, right? Slytherin, get in, try. Craig, we're selling bourbon at the get in, try. You can be in my club if you give me $15,000, boy. The hat is all asking for donations. It's like, pass me around. Pass me around. My wand picked you to give me $ fifteen thousand dollars to join Slytherin

Starting point is 00:12:47 okay Hufflepuff would probably I mean I think Hufflepuff would probably be someone like Landon except that she got a little Slytherin in her this year by not inviting Catherine because a Hufflepuff would not do that so I don't really know my Harry Potter very well. I just feel like the word Hufflepuff makes me just immediately think of Landon because she just goes, Hufflepuff! Yeah. Gryffindor

Starting point is 00:13:15 I feel like would be Shep because I feel like Gryffindor is where the old money is. Shep and Whitney. That's Harry Potter's. Isn't Harry Potter him? I think so. he is well it's probably like or like whitney that's harry potter's isn't harry potter him isn't i think so i think so so they're like our that's like the star i don't know that's like the noble ones so no one no one on the guest the butler michael the butler cooper is probably like knocking at the door uh i say i'll say like would you do me the honour of letting me in I even brought a female to escort me into Gryffindor

Starting point is 00:13:47 Sir I heard this was the place To ride sticks I brought a female Partner to watch me if that matters I am no longer friends With she who shall not be named If you know what I'm saying

Starting point is 00:14:04 Cooper would be the principal What's his face I am no longer friends with she who shall not be named, if you know what I'm saying. Cooper would be the principal. What's his face? He'd be like, welcome here, Harry Potter, sir. You must not enter without a woman. I'd let her in. I feel like he'd just be Maggie Smith. Maggie Smith.

Starting point is 00:14:21 Oh, my God. I feel like Cameron would be Maggie Smith. See, I see Cooper as Maggie Smith, except instead of turning into an owl, he just turns into like a pigeon or something. And everyone just shoots him away. Actually, I think Maggie Smith should replace Catherine. Because I feel like if Maggie Smith came on as her character from Harry Potter, she'd be like, breakfast? I don't know how to make breakfast. And I'd believe it. I would believe that Maggie Smith

Starting point is 00:14:49 doesn't know where anything is in her kitchen. I feel like Cameron would be whoever Mel Dessant played. I don't remember who that was. But whoever it was that Mel Dessant played, I think she was sort of like a mean person. I think she was kind of like a bitch. I think that's what Cameron would do.

Starting point is 00:15:07 She's like a bitch, but she sort of has some power. i think she was set in some sort of local government local wizard government i'm sorry harry potter fans i'm really sorry katherine would be that one with that voice in the there's a girl who's crying in the bathroom all the time but that would be katherine but they'd just hear like, come back. Where's that coming from? Who hurt that ghost? I feel like Catherine would be that monster from the first movie or book, perhaps, that was like in the attic when they open up the door and he comes barreling down the hallway. That's Catherine. Thomas!

Starting point is 00:15:39 They let her out. And Thomas is the mean Harry Potter's mean aunts and uncles. I mean, I guess that would be Patricia, right? The one who's like locking people in the, you know, she's like, she's special. Lock her in the basement. I just assume that Thomas Ravenel is Snook or something like that. Isn't there a guy named Snook? Isn't that what's his face?

Starting point is 00:16:02 Isn't that what's his name? That's from Jersey Shore. No, isn't Alan, you know, what's his face is that what's his name that's from jersey shore no isn't alan you know uh what's his face remember i said this on the bonus episode i can't remember names oh uh the evil guy yeah and snape snape i'm like snook snook is a fish i'm sorry everyone yeah snape thomas ravenel is a fish fish okay he lives He lives off the coast of Mexico. He's wonderful when he's grilled. Well, Snape is evil, but then secretly good. Like, in the end, he's been secretly good the whole time. And also, he thinks about his evil plot.

Starting point is 00:16:35 So it's not Thomas. Thomas just, like, falls into evil shit. Because Thomas is just stupid. You know who Whitney is? Whitney is totally that evil blonde kid. Whitney is Snape. Oh, yeah, Whitney is Snape. Oh, that evil blonde kid. Whitney is Snape. Oh, yeah, Whitney is Snape. Oh, that evil blonde kid. What was that kid's name?

Starting point is 00:16:49 I love that. That's actually probably Craig, because they have the same haircut. Well, he's really evil. I'm trying to think. Craig would be that little Dobby guy. That little E.T., the really skinny E.T. looking thing. Oh, I was... Love you, Harry Potter. I'll help you. Oh, he gets... I'll help you.

Starting point is 00:17:05 Oh, he gets drunk. He's drunk again. Spoiler alert. He doesn't survive the franchise, correct? He's just a deltware, Ben. Give me a break. Don't make me cry in the podcast. Actually, I feel like Cameron is probably what's her

Starting point is 00:17:25 face emma emma i want to say emma thompson but that's the exactly wrong woman emma i'm sorry everyone i'm sorry the girl who's always studying and stuff harry's best friend yeah hermione hermione yeah emma watson i'm like emma thompson no cameron's not emma thompson she's just in sense of sensibility she's in a totally different movie. Emma Thompson is in this. She's in Harry Potter. I've only seen the last three Harry Potters. She's one of the teachers.

Starting point is 00:17:54 Oh, that makes sense. I think that Whitney is Snape. Whitney is definitely Snape. And Patricia is definitely... The evil blonde child is whatever's coming out of Catherine next. Is someone Dumbledore? Maybe Shep's Dumbledore. Yeah, that's the principle. That's the principle.

Starting point is 00:18:08 So that's the gay guy. Cooper's Dumbledore? How do you elevate Cooper to being Dumbledore? Okay, Cooper is not. Because he's trying to be Dumbledore with Catherine. He's like, I know it feels odd right now with the whole town ignoring you, but I believe in you, Catherine. He is at best someone who takes your ticket on the train to Hogwarts, okay? Or he's someone who is in London reading the newspaper that moves.

Starting point is 00:18:33 And he's like, well, I swear this is a crazy newspaper. He's the guy they may come out and say, we've run out of butterbeer. So sorry. Everyone stones him in the street. I think J.D JD would be Dumbledore We've already made JD somebody Oh he was just in a house though Yeah we just put him in a house

Starting point is 00:18:51 Now that we're actually going deep with this I think JD is Dumbledore because he's heavy set And he actually runs some businesses Listen boy I brought you on to Get to a goal And you've taken six movies to do it, boy. Boy, are you sure that you're a wizard?

Starting point is 00:19:12 I think you should take a paternity test. What? I put you at the front desk, boy, but I'm worried about people seeing your scar. Everyone's all shallow on Southern Charm. Harry Potter would never even make it in there because they're like, ew, he has a scar. Gross. Maybe Craig is Harry Potter.

Starting point is 00:19:35 I don't have to take my wizard bar. I'm getting all my wizard stuff done. I don't know. I really want to get involved with Butterbeer. He'd just sit there in his invisibility cloak. And I think Camille's friend would still be Hagrid. I don't even care that it's Southern Charm.

Starting point is 00:19:56 I just like that there's Hagrid still. It's just like from some random franchise. It's not like anyone knows who she is on Beverly Hills anyway. I feel like Dani. I feel like Dani, I feel like she is that one really annoying girl. Maybe is that the one you were talking about? Because it was like, Harry Potter! Be careful, Harry Potter!

Starting point is 00:20:14 No, that girl is Landon! That girl is totally Landon! Luna! Luna! I hate Luna! Luna Moon, or whatever. Yeah, that's totally Landon. Watch out, Harry! I feel like

Starting point is 00:20:30 the woman who teaches Cameron how to cook, I feel like she is possibly Miranda Richardson's role. She's possibly Miranda Richardson. But I wish it was Snape who was teaching her how to cook be like you idiot what about uh what about jenna from season one does she get a does she get a role

Starting point is 00:20:51 who's that she was that stupid girl who had the crazy haircut like a faux mohawk and she was like uh i'm like cool i'm from la and then she uh she had a boyfriend who was 80 years old oh that would be all of the other kids in the school yeah just being that she can be all the extras that you're like oh those little rich fucks how'd they even get into this school yeah exactly that's she's like uh what's his face from Twilight you're like oh wait he was in that what's his face you know Edward which one was that now Twilight I didn't go see Twilight. I couldn't with that.

Starting point is 00:21:26 I think I saw five minutes of it. Edward from Twilight. I'm sorry, people. I'm sorry. Especially if you are new to this podcast because you're tuning in to hear Stephanie. I am very sorry, but I am not getting my names right today. Like, I am turning into, like, my parents right now. What's the name of the person in the Twilight?

Starting point is 00:21:44 You know, Robert Pattinson. I'm going to be on the internet. I don't watch Twilight. like my parents right now what's the name of the person in the twilight um you know first robert pattinson i'm gonna be on the internet i don't watch twilight i'm just too old i went to see that in texas with my sister and i was like yeah this is all 13 year old girls and it's a stolen story anyway like these girls like this because they haven't read the other books it's totally ripped off from i'm out of here i got all mad i left i went to see some like british movie well um you know benjamin cohen asked a question that folds right into this totally ripped off from. I'm out of here! I got all mad. I left. I went to see some British movie. Well, you know, Benjamin Cohen asked a question that folds right into this.

Starting point is 00:22:10 He says, who is the most dead inside on Southern Charm? Patricia, by far. I think Patricia's pretty alive. I think dead on the inside would probably have to be like... I think it actually might be the woman who taught Cameron how to cook.

Starting point is 00:22:26 Oh, that poor thing. I think her soul left her body that day. She lost her soul after watching that episode. She's like, I put a pan that had dishwashing soap on the bottom into the oven. I could have killed a whole family. What am I even doing with my life? Maybe it's Jennifer.

Starting point is 00:22:42 Although we also did not... We haven't placed Jennifer in the Harry Potter universe, but I think Jennifer could be pretty dead on the inside. Yeah, Jennifer looks, I don't know, she's always excited to see what's going on.

Starting point is 00:22:53 She's like that little puppy. He comes out of the basket and he looks around, but nobody ever picks it up. And then it eventually just dies by the basket. And by the way, she's probably the blonde evil kid.

Starting point is 00:23:03 Oh, I know who's dead on the inside. This is totally obvious. It's Michael,ricia's butler oh my god can you imagine what he's really like because he's like below deck you know how they say real service isn't being friends you're not here for the for their friendship you're here to pick up their underwear and flush your toilet or whatever he said uh that's totally michael i think michael never shows his personality when he gets off work he's like girl you won't believe what that bitch did to me today i would love nothing more than to go to charleston and hang out with all the old queens as they sit and drink drink their cocktails and talk shit about everyone in town. That bitch made me comb a porcupine. I trained in London for this.

Starting point is 00:23:52 Now I got my phone dinging off the hook every time somebody presses Ask the Butler on her damn website. Do I get paid for this? No, I actually, sadly, I feel michael just goes back up to his room and just stares at the wall for nine hours until he's summoned again by the bell just like brushing his uniform with a you know one of those lint brushes slowly while he stares at the wall occasionally occasionally going into town to murder someone mr bait style all the amazon prime people are dead.

Starting point is 00:24:26 It's like anybody who comes to the house. It's like, would you leave that on the back porch? It's like the Southern Charm theme murder music. You can't play Jaws on a big band horn, okay? Oh, gosh. All right, I'm going to close up the mailbag because we have a whole lot to discuss. Hey, guys, we are about to dive way deep

Starting point is 00:25:04 in Real Housewives of New York. And I think if it were me, I would like to pour myself – I would probably want to pour myself a glass of wine. And you know what's a good way to do that? By signing up on Club W. Oh, yes. You guys, there actually is a wine at Club W called Declasse. Yeah. Okay.classe. Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 00:25:26 Ingredients. Okay. Club W delivers wine straight to your door. It is so convenient. Yeah, and it's personalized, too. They send wine that is personalized to your palate and your taste because they do this palate quiz when you go on to their website, which is pretty cool. And their recommendations become even more personalized with every bottle that you rate yes and this is some classic wine it's very unique they work with um top winemakers all over the country

Starting point is 00:25:54 actually all over the world um and they make their own wines yeah and what's good is that it's a really high quality but a good value too their $13 bottles would normally retail for over $20. Yeah, and there's no risk. You just choose the type and the quantity of bottles with no membership fee or cancellation fee and 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Bah! Bah! Plus, they also partner with local artists to develop really cool wine labels that are kind of like unique works of art unto themselves. develop really cool wine labels that are kind of like unique works of art

Starting point is 00:26:24 unto themselves. So go over to www.clubw.com www.clubw.com slash crappin. Yeah, that's right, because Club W is offering our listeners $20 off your

Starting point is 00:26:39 first order when you go to www.clubw.com slash crappins. Yeah, that's a lot of wine. And it gets even better, by the way, because I know y'all hate paying for shipping, so Club W will actually pay for your shipping on orders of four bottles or more.

Starting point is 00:26:55 So take something off your to-do list. Well, yeah, just go to clubw.com slash crappins to get $20 off your first order now. That's clubw.com slash crappins. Clubw.com slash crappins to get $20 off your first order now. That's clubw.com slash crappins. Clubw.com slash crappins. Yeah, that is a good deal. Thank you, Club W.

Starting point is 00:27:11 Also, we have another thanks today, and that is for Rihanna for sending us a gift. What? Which I got, of course. What was the gift? I don't know yet, but it's the mains. It's I got a good wife mug, and you got a Settlers of Catan mug.

Starting point is 00:27:28 No way. Yeah. And then you got some think thin bars, brownie flavored. Oh, my God. I got some peanut M&Ms. And we got some Starbucks cards. And that was our 300th episode gift. So thank you so much, Rihanna or Rina or Rihanna. I don't know. Let's just pretend it's Rihanna, the pop star. you so much Rihanna or Rina or Rihanna

Starting point is 00:27:45 I don't know let's just pretend it's Rihanna the pop star thank you Rihanna like Rihanna sorry for everything you've been through oh my god that is no that is super cool I'm so excited for my Settlers of Catan mug

Starting point is 00:28:01 I think I might be playing it tonight I was trying to get a game going with you and Matt Whitfield but you guys both have obligations. Yep, can't do it today, Ben. But, well, I'll play with other people. But, wow, that is so awesome. Thank you so much. Yeah, I love a gift.

Starting point is 00:28:16 This is nice, because it was funny. Yesterday I found a new board game that I was like, I really want to buy this. I was like, maybe someone will buy it for me. But then I was like, no, I'm not going to harm myself out just like that. Not just yet. And then here we go.

Starting point is 00:28:27 I get a mug. You see it work. And don't forget our 300th episode party next week at the Revolver in Hollywood. It's Thursday, June 9th at 8 p.m. Revolver will be in the back. The back room at the Revolver. Yeah, we're trying to get some Bravo people to come join us. Please come.

Starting point is 00:28:44 Everyone, just come. We'll just have so much fun and you know and you know we will have to be talking about this new york city mess at that party like you know it's just going to go down that the bartenders are going to be so scared because everybody's going to be going okay okay this show is crazy okay so real housewives of new York. Again, notice something else in the opening. Obviously, I've seen this opening a million times now. But it just hit me that Jules is like a Jew and an Asian walked into the bar. And then they had me. You just talked about your parents fucking in some bar, you class POS lady.

Starting point is 00:29:20 Well, it's also her line has no wittinessittiness to it it's not like you know you know throw me to the wolves i'll come back leading the pack you know there's some sort of like a there's like a cleverness to this she's just like a jew and an asian walked into a bar and they had meat remember carol had a bad line last year it was like hey i've got a nice ass. I may not be pampered, but I sure like guys in pampers. So, um, I may not be pampered, but I'm about to be in pampers.

Starting point is 00:29:53 Oh, Carol, you're 20. You're always depends. So, um, uh, this episode of New York city,

Starting point is 00:30:02 I mean, this was just an instant classic. There's something about these women when they get sent to the Berkshires, they're crazy comes City. I mean, this was just an instant classic. There's something about these women. When they get sent to the Berkshires, the crazy comes out. I mean, we have never had a normal or boring Berkshires episode. Whether it was last night, whether it was last year and Bethany

Starting point is 00:30:16 freaking out at the table, whether it was Ramona throwing glass at Kristen's face, whether it was Ramona buying an air conditioner in Heather's house. I mean, it just goes on on who are you to get me wet in a lake oh no it was in the spot i don't remember there were so many ramona gets wet instances that season she's more like every time you think ramona's normal because she does a good job you know like this episode she's like i'm the normal one like look everybody's crazy like this is nuts right i'm like you know you're ramona right yeah ramona was and she was

Starting point is 00:30:50 low-key the craziest the entire episode because she was going back and forth back and forth between these two sets of women playing both sides and she i mean only ramona can do that and no one would even get mad at her because they're just so used to it at this point okay yeah but it's ramona yapping at least you know what she's talking about because you can hear only Ramona can do that and no one would even get mad at her because they're just so used to it at this point yeah it's Ramona yapping at least you know what she's talking about because you can hear her from three stories up I don't know what that was I can't even do her laugh today

Starting point is 00:31:18 it's not it's not happening oh my god last night I posted After the show I said Important polling for today's podcast Team Bethany or Team Luann There are 200 responses I don't know if I can even go through all these

Starting point is 00:31:35 But Ella Fitzgerald Back from the dead says Team Sonia Poor Sonia All alone with her tight vagina So we open with the skinny girl fight yeah and you knew and you're going on yeah and you knew this was gonna be a crazy episode because the chiron says 3 40 p.m which is the only time you ever see a time stamp is in a disaster movie you know like

Starting point is 00:31:59 the asteroid is coming in like there's this much oxygen left. Like 445. You know, giant comet is, you know, two miles from Earth. Apocalypse is nice. So when you see the 340 PM, you know that we're in for a whole episode of Earth. And its name is Bethany.

Starting point is 00:32:20 I'm coming. I'm coming for you. What do you think? I'm a star? I'm just going to say, yeah, I'm not a star. I'm a comic. I'm going to crash into your world. Wonder where the dinosaurs are? I don't, because I killed them. I'm a comic. Well, the dinosaurs are before Lou. I don't care about them.

Starting point is 00:32:37 Some people would call me a dinosaur, and some people would call me a modern woman. You're sexually active. I don't get it. You're a dinosaur? Why aren't you in a park? Why aren't you chasing around Jeff Goldblum? Like, what are you doing here? Why are you in the bricksheds? Like, is this like a new zoo? Like, I don't know what the genetic testing is in the basement. Like, I don't get it.

Starting point is 00:32:51 Like, I don't get the brand right here, okay? Like, literally, I can't have it. Like, literally kill me now. Like, throw me in the velociraptors and kill me right now. God, it's hot in here. Like, you're a comet. You're on fire, Bethany. It's disgusting. Like, what is this? Like, Hawaii? I don't even know why it's too hot what's this puerto rico like i'm a comic this is ridiculous i'm in space it's cold here like get out of my

Starting point is 00:33:10 way like i'm sorry like i'm going this way like this is my path like if you get my way you're just gonna get destroyed like i'm sorry like like what am i i'm gonna call earth sony now you know what you're in my way um so okay so we open with the skinny girl fight they're all sitting around the table at uh at Dorinda's. Now, Bethany does what Bethany does lately, which is snorts a bunch of Adderall on the way over and then just unleashes this weird rage that makes no sense. I mean, even knowing Bethany's entire history

Starting point is 00:33:38 and her childhood and all of this shit where you can kind of understand where she's coming from sometimes, the racetrack, even knowing all that,'s like what are where is this coming from she like goes zero to 60 she's turning into dorinda yeah she she she goes off on luann the tail end from last episode oh yeah skinny girl huh yeah and she was she came in bethany came in in a good mood and then she starts laughing at Luanne. When Luanne says that she wants to help Sonya a little bit, then Bethany starts laughing at Luanne. Like, you know, this was last episode, you know, like, how could you, you know, that's like the blind leading the deaf, you know.

Starting point is 00:34:16 Which is really actually kind of nasty to say to Luanne. Like, you know, I don't think that, I don't think Luanne is any less capable of steering Sonia than Bethany is. Bethany, okay, so you have a successful business, but your personal life is a disaster, okay? So you're really in no better position to be a mentor. Yeah, she's just mad for no reason. None of that even makes sense. I mean, Bethany just dumped Sonia after completely shitting on her publicly in front of 20-year-olds. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:46 And America. So it's not like she's in a place. She's such an asshole. But for whatever reason, she is going off. And she brings up the skinny girl fight again, which doesn't even make any sense. Why are they fighting about this? They already talked about it on the reunion. We've already seen the clips a million times.

Starting point is 00:35:02 Yeah, she brings it up in this weird way. We've already seen the clips a million times. Yeah, she brings it up in this weird way. And she kind of, like, in a weird way, she almost tricks Luanne into saying that she, like, co-invented it. And then Beth is like, no, that was a joke. No, that was a joke. Yeah, like when we came up with Skinny Girl together. And Luanne's like, yes, it is like that. Oh, oh, so you came up with Skinny Girl, huh?

Starting point is 00:35:20 Yeah, and now she's sort of, like, back. If it's all for her credit, she'll take it. Yeah, and she kind of, like, I kind of feel bad for Luanne because, like, what's sort of, like, back to... If it's off of her credit, she'll take it. Yeah, and she kind of, like... Like, I kind of feel bad for Luanne, because, like, what's Luanne supposed to do? Like, now she said it, so she kind of has to, like, what, retract? I don't know. It was, like, a weird situation.

Starting point is 00:35:32 And Bethany just starts going off on Luanne. But Luanne understands how to deal with Bethany, so she thinks. And she eventually just kind of, like, tries to, you know, dial down the situation, be like, listen, I love you. I think you're wonderful. So tell me, who are you dating right now?

Starting point is 00:35:47 She changes the subject, right? I'm so happy. I'm dating. That's it. And Bethany clams up. You can see that look. The last thing that Bethany ever wants is to be asked about her dating life,

Starting point is 00:35:57 especially by Luann. And now she's furious about the Skinny Girl brand thing that she's now kicking into third year. Well, they just got in a fight about something the Skinny Girl brand thing that she is now kicking into third year. Well, they just got in a fight about something called Skinny Girl. How is she supposed to say at the dinner table that she's mounting a 500-pound man? Plus, Luann violated the supreme rule of Bethany and the Berkshires. You can't ask her questions.

Starting point is 00:36:20 Literally, too many questions. Everyone's asking me questions. I just want to enjoy my sushi, okay? It's too much. I can't. Don't you want a meatball? questions. Like, everyone's asking me questions. I just want to enjoy my sushi, okay? Like, it's too much. Like, I can't. Like, it's too much. But don't you want a meatball? Heather.

Starting point is 00:36:27 Like, literally, like, don't offer me, like, seriously, enough of the hummus. Like, I can't. Like, it's too much. Like, I'm going to cry. Like, my wall is up. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry on the Christmas tree right now. Do you want some mac and cheese?

Starting point is 00:36:36 Literally just have Pacoco, like, just peep on my face. Like, I just, like, I can't. Heather. That girl can step off the curb, Felicia. I just offered her some macaroni and cheesels. Who does that? I quit. Heather quit over that meatball scene.

Starting point is 00:36:52 I just know it. I know after that meatball scene, too. It's like, I quit. Like, I actually have a job. I'm not doing this. Yeah. You're probably right. She's like, fuck this bitch.

Starting point is 00:37:03 So Luanne is trying to change the subject and ask bethany and bethany is being such a snotty asshole through this whole scene she's like whatever i'm good like i'm good and then she tells us look if luann asks you who your boyfriend is you have to join the witness protection program like what is she talking about and then i wrote did she just call luann a plastic fuck doll? She did. I don't understand what she's talking about. I think she was implying that Luann would come and steal your man, which I didn't know that was like a thing with Luann.

Starting point is 00:37:32 I know that she sleeps around. I didn't know that she was actually a homewrecker. Well, it's like getting mad at a gay guy for sleeping with the same person you slept with. It's a small community. Everyone has slept together, okay? That's why you just need to go to Montana and have sex. Did Jason Hoppy cheat on Bethhany is that something that happened is that why she's so sensitive about this whole thing about luann having slept with a married guy before because you know what like it's on the married guy it's not on luann yeah and also luann uh bethany's just hated luann

Starting point is 00:37:58 for a long time for years for years this fight didn't even come from anything real she just decided she's gonna tell her off because she's really been clear about getting rid of sonia and luann and sonia she got rid of dorinda didn't invite her but luann came anyway her luann was invited and bethany's not having it like she's trying to control who's in the cast and she is not going to fucking have it yeah so you know if if if the underlying theme of this recap that we do today is trying to sort of decide in this giant feud between Bethany and Luann, who is, like, whose side are we on? Like, who's in the right, who's in the wrong, et cetera?

Starting point is 00:38:35 Because it is pretty gray. I would say Bethany is one of Bethany's first bad moves that makes me root for Luann, is that Bethany then goes, she and Luann are sitting, seated across from each other at a dining room table. Bethany then goes

Starting point is 00:38:49 to Luann's side of the table, sits next to Ramona. Ramona's in between Luann and she's right in between the two of them. And then Bethany just starts going off on Luann in a fake, quiet voice, which is such a catty, bitchy move. Like, don't do that, you know? And she's sitting sitting there going i'll fucking smash it with a reindeer antler like what is she coming at me

Starting point is 00:39:10 like i'll get a deer off the road grab it by its hind legs and beat her to death with it okay yeah yeah it's i thought that was like a bitchy move like if you want to vent about that that's fine but like pull ramona to a different room but like to sit there and to for you to claim to be so direct and then you're speaking in fake soda voice that that's like actually really passive aggressive and nasty it's not only passive aggressive it's really weak because she doesn't want she it's like you you were just trying to tell off luann and you got stymied because the man was like well okay i'm sorry how about your personal life darling like she couldn't do it and so she moved to Dorinda and started screaming from the side to do it like you're such a weakling

Starting point is 00:39:48 you can scream and yell all you want but this fight isn't even based on anything real Luann this fight about skinny girl is over her being a slut everybody knows that already who cares like you just want to yell at her and then Luann's like I can hear you girls and then

Starting point is 00:40:04 beat Bethany just then she loses it yeah and just starts screaming and yelling about what a slut she is oh my god so yeah yeah she just starts going in calling luanne a slut i mean bethany is really slut shaming this episode and you know the funny thing is i don't want to jump ahead because everything here is like just so amazing and has to be discussed. But later on when Bethany and Carol are talking and saying, like, she was so mad that I called her a slut. She's so mad. I'm like, well, you didn't just say, oh, you're a slut.

Starting point is 00:40:33 You're like, you're a fucking slut. You're a whore. You're a bitch. You know, it's like don't – like you've got to take some accountability for the fact that you are going in and going in really hard on this sad, lonely Countess. I'm just lonely. I just want to be friends with Kyle Richards. I love caftans. What can I say? You know I love

Starting point is 00:40:54 a free caftan, Bethany. I've lost everything. And then Dorinda, which is so Dorinda, she's like, Bethany, she's like a sniper from the front. Which is better than Beverly Hills, which was a sniper from the side, which made no sense. Yeah, you don't even have to actually add a direction. A sniper is a sniper.

Starting point is 00:41:14 Yeah. Well, it's better than Rosie on New Jersey who said, I'm like a sniper, you know? I'll walk right up to you and punch you in the face. No, that's not what a sniper does, Rosie. It's just like a sniper. I'm going to come out when you go to the gas station and fill your back tires up with there whether you need it or not like no that's actually a gas station attendant rosie just like a sniper i'm gonna ring you up at 7-eleven no no that's like there's nothing to do but what about the rolling

Starting point is 00:41:38 hot dogs no no not so um so so bethany is going in on luann and i love that luann's like the only the only thing that she can come back with is it's about hair well oh really you hate me then why do you have my hair you have my haircut what about that like it wasn't even anything that good it It was just like, really, really girlfriend. You have my hair. So. And in Luann's world, that trumps everything.

Starting point is 00:42:11 Like I could be a slut, but at least I'm original with my hair. If it's not John, it's, it's Sonia. If it's not Sonia, it's Dorinda. If it's not Dorinda, it's my hair.

Starting point is 00:42:23 And Carol comes in and here's all this stuff in the hallway and i started cracking up because you just hear what what carol's like she's already defeated well she's like at first i thought she was funny she's like i walk in and i hear bethany arguing with a man i was like oh that's kind of funny and she's like, at first I thought she was funny. She's like, I walk in and I hear Bethany arguing with a man. I was like, oh, that's kind of funny. And she's like, but it turns out it's Luann. I mean, Lu-man. I'm like, oh, come on, Carol.

Starting point is 00:42:55 You can do better than that. Like, it's been done. I guess someone ghost wrote that for you because that shit's been on the internet for 10 years now. Yeah. And it's also like the delivery was just so terrible, low-rent cat skills. Luann, I mean, Lu-man. I just love in the background you hear Luann going,

Starting point is 00:43:13 bring it, girlfriend. Bring it. Bring it on, girlfriend. It's my mom when she wants to fight. She's like, and I told her, you better bring it, girlfriend. I'm like, mom, don't say girlfriend. It makes you sound 10 years older. Don't do it.

Starting point is 00:43:26 Just saying. No, mom. Just girlfriend. I do wish actually that Heather Thompson were standing in Luann's place because she would have been good for a bring it on, you motherfucker. Totally. You want to go for me, motherfucker? You see? We miss Heather. You got to admit it, guys. You can to go for me, motherfucker? You see? We miss Heather.

Starting point is 00:43:46 You got to admit it, guys. You can't miss her. And then they could be scandalized. Would you learn that in jail? So the thing, one of Bethany's big things and the reason she's calling her a slut is because Luann is dating that guy, Tom, who's a housewife's whore and just trying to be famous and dating any housewife he can. And it also dated Ramona for two seconds, which look, I would love to respect Tom because he looks like Tom Colicchio, but I can't do it because you fucked Ramona.

Starting point is 00:44:12 I'm sorry. I can't even imagine what that would be like. That would be like putting your penis inside a bobblehead doll from a gas station. It doesn't make sense. I'm getting close. Okay. I'm getting really close.

Starting point is 00:44:22 Okay. Whoa, this is crazy. This reminds me this one time going on a road trip and we're really close to where we're going. And I had to go to the bathroom and'm getting really close. Okay, whoa, this is crazy. This reminds me of this one time going on a road trip, and we're really close to where we're going, and I had to go to the bathroom, and Geraldine Parsons-Smith says, no, you can't go to the bathroom.

Starting point is 00:44:31 And so then I had to hold it in, and when I got out of the car, I really had to go even harder. It was awful. So to this day, I always try to go to the bathroom before I go somewhere, okay? Oh, we're closer now, okay? Hey, Tom, I want to have fanta sex.

Starting point is 00:44:45 I don't know what that is. You mean tantric sex? Oh, my God, words. Like, I didn't even know. Like, I was going to put your penis inside of an orange soda can. Like, thank God you said something. This would have been so unromantic. Hey, Tom.

Starting point is 00:45:01 Hey, Tom. I'll be your minute maid, okay? I'll be your minute maid, okay? I'll be your minute maid, okay? Okay? Okay? Whoa. So this is all about how she stole the man. So Luann goes, oh, what, Ramona, what, you dated this man?

Starting point is 00:45:17 Oh, what, you go out with him once? And she's like, seven times, okay? Yeah, Ramona. Seven times? Well, I didn't steal him, okay? I don't care. I don't steal dates. That was BL means before luam okay i don't care what happened bl luam you know that she has been coming up with bl and you stole my hair for like nine months right

Starting point is 00:45:38 well she well you know that she's been quietly roiling over the hair for months and then the bl thing she has been like waiting to to use she's probably saving it up for an interview segment but she's like fine i'll just use it now but um uh but my favorite part was that ramona ramona was totally lying i'm sorry because because she was caught off guard and was like how many times you did i mean she's like um uh seven seven yes that's my final answer it It's either 714 or 21. Those are my lucky numbers, okay? Okay. Pick one.

Starting point is 00:46:09 It's a prime number, okay? Because I'm an Amazon Prime subscriber, okay? Well, I'm sorry. That may have been AC, but it's BL. Before Luan. I was not cheating on Christ. It was AC. Dorinda. Dorinda is still so calm and i thought how is dorinda so calm because people are screaming which makes dorinda scream you know but she's like a girl i don't know you should be talking like like with friends or whatever so she goes to greet carol and i love just the casual nature of like carol just walks in and dorinda's like hi welcome to my house.

Starting point is 00:46:45 Or whatever. They're just casual. They're just chatting in the background. Yeah, I know. But I loved, though, Luanne was livid at this point because she doesn't know why Bethany is just going in on her. And honestly, it is kind of obnoxious. And it's really not Bethany's's business if luanne decides to date

Starting point is 00:47:05 this guy i mean since when does bethany care about ramona in terms of girl code especially after last year when ramona was the biggest violator of girl code when she cock blocked bethany and carol talking that guy down in the caribbean you know so for bethany to suddenly like hop on this thing is ridiculous so i loved i love how luann was dealing with it like whatever i'm dating him he dated he dated ramona i don't care next what else he got next next next girlfriend i was like yes yes yes luann i love that because i mean what could bethany say to that you know stupid ramona she's like well luann luann is playing both sides of the fence about tom because i'm like you Luann is playing both sides of the fence about Tom because I'm

Starting point is 00:47:47 like you don't know what both sides of the fence means she's like one minute she's saying she slept with Tom and then the next she's saying she slept with Tom I'm like what are you even talking about you don't even know what that term means I know at this point and there was like a brief like interlude in the Bethany fight when Ram now it's ramona now ramona got and bethany just gets up and takes your wine to go say hi to carol yeah so ramona starts getting mad she's like i can't believe you didn't even ask me i would have been fine i would have been totally fine if you decided to date him okay but you have to ask me okay and then it's like well excuse me i'm not finished okay it's called girl called Girl Code. Girl Code Xanax.

Starting point is 00:48:25 I know, it's still like Xanax voice. It's like, well, Bethany's friend said that when I was on a date with him, that you went up to him and you said, you're my next, okay? Like, what are you reserving my next? Girl Code. And Luann is like, darling, it is Girl Code. It's called Waiting Your Turn. Okay, did you read my book?

Starting point is 00:48:44 It's all about manners. I waited my turn. I didn't just jump on him right there at the restaurant. What do you want from me? Did I use the wrong fork? Bring it, girlfriend. I'm surprised that Luann didn't even reference her own song. Didn't she have that song, Girl Code?

Starting point is 00:48:57 She did, but Ramona had already referenced it. So later in the episode, she referenced Chic C'est La Vie. Am I right? In my second studio single chic steele v you know just dust it off look when you're in the studio and you want to fuck someone's boyfriend you just do it it's a different code when i don't i did i just i actually don't believe that luann would so brazenly walk up to someone and say like, I'm X'd. I do. You do? Oh, 100% because this guy's a total man whore.

Starting point is 00:49:28 Dorinda says later, oh, I fucked him up with you because he's only dating everyone else on the east side. The guy's like, please fuck the Queen of England. She doesn't even love you. That guy's been everywhere. And so I think that he's the male version of Luann just fucking the world. And so I'm sure, oh my god.

Starting point is 00:49:43 Just seeing how they behave at Boutique. I don't think that she even has to. She doesn't even have to say it. Look, Luann just fucking the world. And so I'm sure, oh my God, just seeing how they behave at boutique. I don't think that she even has, she doesn't even have to say it. Look, Luann's like a hot lady of a certain age. I don't think she has to even, she just has to give him a seductive look

Starting point is 00:49:55 from across a martini and it's a done deal. Well, she might have, but Bethany changes all the stories to be like way worse than they were. So maybe her friend just said like, Luann looked at that guy like, you're my next.

Starting point is 00:50:06 You know what? If the shoe were on the other foot, if someone were coming to Bethany being like, you did this, I heard you did this, and it was my friend who said this, Bethany would have gone crazy. And furthermore, Luann does have a point. Dorinda should have stepped up and said,

Starting point is 00:50:22 hey, no, I actually actually i set them up and you shouldn't be like you shouldn't be gossiping about what this friend said because wasn't it just dorinda who flew off the handle with ramona because ramona was spreading gossip about what she heard that john said so dorinda was so mad at that and yet bethany starts saying this and dorinda keeps her mouth shut oh yeah well that doesn't last long yeah so they carol goes to check out a room and she tells us like oh i love dorinda but i wouldn't have come if i knew lou was here shut up bitch we knew she was walking around whining like wednesday adams just shut your trap like how did you not know dorinda said she was coming you know carol i have to say I have actually been

Starting point is 00:51:05 a big Carol fan for her entire duration of this of this year this series this season you know it's been like oh like she is acting like a little bit too cool for school it's starting to get annoying this was the episode that is actually taking me out of the Carol camp I have to say I think she has because she is a mean girl i think this whole thing with bethany this whole situation has brought out what carol's high school self was like and i find it to be really unpleasant yeah when she doesn't like someone no one can like them and she's just like bethany they're both like each other in that way so it's fitting that they're friends but i don't like seeing somebody be a lackey i mean the fun thing about carol was that she would make every

Starting point is 00:51:44 make funny jokes about everybody behind their back and their talking heads. But now she's just kissing ass. It's not fun to watch. It's going to be Bethany's army. I have to say something. I don't think that excuse me, I have to say something. Bring it, girlfriend!

Starting point is 00:52:00 It's weird. I actually don't even think that she's a lackey. I think she and Bethany are actually like the cool girls. They are, they're not even Regina George because Regina George is a caricature of the cool girls. These girls, they're actually, they're like the real cool girls, the real mean girls.

Starting point is 00:52:15 And they just, they snicker to themselves. They make jokes themselves. They roll their eyes to each other about everyone else. And I just, I think it really came to the fore this episode. And it bothered me. It really, really bothered me. We have a thing, Dorinda. Like, we're bonded.

Starting point is 00:52:34 My husband's ashes, you know, London. Remember when you hit your head trying to look at how different the light was in London and you hit your head into a window because you didn't understand class. But my point is, you know, you should have told me about Luanne coming. I think I did tell her. And then there's a clip of her telling her, basically. Like, well, it's a bit of a problem if you don't want her to come.

Starting point is 00:52:59 So whatever. Shut up, Carol. That's the point of this scene is shut up, Carol. And at this point, I was starting to feel really bad for Luann because here she is having to go up against Bethany, who, you know what, like, whether she's right or wrong, she's always going to win because she just, I mean, no one...

Starting point is 00:53:14 She won't shut up. She won't shut up, and she's willing to be meaner. All that mean shit she was saying, you know, if she was going up against a faggito burrito, he could have been saying, really you frigid bitch you married some man to get you on a show or to get a spinoff he helped you sell your brand then you're a frigid evil bitch to him

Starting point is 00:53:32 so he leaves you like she could start bringing up all that stuff and using it against Bethany and people don't and like you didn't invent the margarita Bethany okay you didn't invent tequila with a splash of lime and a splash of Patron okay people have been drinking that forever like congratulations on picking the clip art out of your photoshop app years ago or whatever and putting it on a bottle because that was smart but you didn't invent the

Starting point is 00:53:54 drink so shut the fuck up and you didn't invent the term skinny or girl and there was skin there's like skinny pop now what are you gonna sue them to shut up Shut up, Bethany. Yeah, no, it was, you know, the thing is, you know, there's a lot of stuff that happens outside of the show pertaining to the show and production that I think fuels this anger. And they're never allowed, they're not allowed to articulate it. So what you just said about, like, you married a guy to get a spin-off TV show, they can't say that on this. So I think that's one of the problems, you know, that's one of the reasons why they get into these fights that are seemingly about nothing because they're really about stuff that they're just not allowed to say. So anyway – So she's going off to Jules' Bethany because now it's like a kind of calmer moment. So she's still going off like, can you believe Luann?

Starting point is 00:54:35 Like blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's telling me, you want to go, girlfriend? Like blah, blah, blah, blah. And then so Luann goes into the butler pantry or whatever to talk about her hair being stolen. Yeah, she's back the hair fight is back she's like well what what uh what'd she say like what do you want to do you want you want to be me like want to do drugs and like it's like the rachel like it's like the rachel you got the it's like you got the rachel haircut okay i guess everyone wants it you want

Starting point is 00:55:00 i don't want to play great gardens and sleep with a bunch of dudes and like be a liar okay and then it's at this point where then Luanne, for some reason, adopts. She just adopts a cowboy stance. Suddenly, she's riding an invisible donkey. And she's just like, howdy, partner. I don't know what was going on with Luanne. Her legs were out. She was just like, I was expecting her to pull out some revolvers and maybe swing a lasso around.

Starting point is 00:55:23 I don't know what was going on. The stand mic round law. But Luanne, of course, you know, honestly, Luanne had the best zings of the night. Luanne just looks at her and goes, are you getting laid right now or not? What's the problem? You're doing enough for the both of us, okay? Like, who needs to be laid? Like, you're more laid than a bed store, okay?

Starting point is 00:55:44 So, and then Luanne goes, oh, what what i'm the kim cattrall now is that what you're saying i'm kim cattrall i'm the kim cattrall of the family or what and then bethany no you're not kim cattrall because she was honest about it so it was luanne when has luanne ever denied being a slut she doesn't like the word slut but she talks about fucking a different guy every day the last episode was about Luann squirting do you remember do you remember last season in the Caribbean

Starting point is 00:56:12 when someone was like hey Luann the guy you slept with last night was married and she just shrugged oh okay Luann is honest about it so that's not your problem with it and one of the whole things about Luann last season one of her arc, is the fact that she is finally being honest with herself, saying, hey, I like to go out. I like to party.

Starting point is 00:56:32 And I think she said it just right when she said, you know what? I am dating around. I am having fun. And there's one guy in particular who I really like, but I'm seeing a lot of guys. Like, that is a totally normal thing. And for Bethany to be up in a tizzy about i think that bethany is actually jealous i think that bethany just wants to scream in the out because she hates luana she's mad that she's on the trip like i

Starting point is 00:56:53 don't even see any other reason because she doesn't make sense and luann does stand up to her in such a confident way like she made the cowboy stance and then she did that fake smile at her she's like oh what you're gonna fight bring it and then she said when she said that kim cattrall thing it really ruffled bethany because luanne wasn't crying she wasn't running away she was just staring at her in the face like oh i'm fabulous is what you're saying and so bethany goes you know bethany's feeling insecure when she starts going what you didn't let me finish i haven't even said one word yeah i was like actually said that yeah she said that she can't get a word in edgewise. I'm sorry, Bethany. You are not only the CEO of Skinny Girl, you also have skinny words.

Starting point is 00:57:32 You get words in all the edges, okay? You always get a word in. Don't you dare say you didn't get a word in edgewise. You've been speaking nonstop since this episode began. Like, I don't get it. You're not a girl's girl. Like, it's ridiculous. You're not even a girl's girl. Who are you to talk about who is a girl's girl? She's friends with all the girls.

Starting point is 00:57:50 You're friends with no one except the people. Bethany is the least girl's girl of all the, and in fact, bravo to Luann for then going, no, you're not a girl's girl. How's that for your cookie jar? Which doesn't really make sense, but I like it. Oh, like that not girl in your cookie jar? Would you like a you are cookie? Because there's one

Starting point is 00:58:08 in your jar. So open your jar for a glass of milk. Yeah, I mean, I thought that when Bethany said you're not a girl's girl, I thought that was bullshit. I actually think neither of them are really girl's girls. But I think Luann is more of a girl's girl than Bethany. I mean, Bethany famously

Starting point is 00:58:23 burns through female friends. I think thatann is more of a girl's girl than Bethany. I mean, Bethany famously, you know, burns through female friends. I think that Bethany is... She says it on the show. It's just what I do. That's what I'm supposed to do, and I do it. I'm not sure a girl's girl would slut-shame someone as hard as she is slut-shaming Luann in this episode. Or fat-shame someone. Like, her whole thing is about being skinny, and she's some anorexic Adderall addict.

Starting point is 00:58:43 And she's, like, shaming fat people into eating popcorn and convincing them that it's skinny when popcorn is already skinny. Yeah. And she has spent so much time

Starting point is 00:58:52 on this show over the past several seasons talking about how she's just like one of the guys. I grew up on a racetrack. I'm basically like a horse.

Starting point is 00:58:58 Literally ride me right now. I want to get the triple crown. Literally, I can't. It's enough. Put me out of pasture. I can't. But she's always talking about how she's just like a guy.

Starting point is 00:59:06 She thinks like a guy. She doesn't have the emotions. She's da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Which is fine. But then don't say it. Don't then start carrying the flag for being a girl's girl. Because you're just not. You're not a girl's girl.

Starting point is 00:59:17 And this entire fight is pure evidence of that. Yeah. You're a slut and a lion, a hypocrite, and a snake. It's like you can't come up with anything because now in Luann's mind, she's Kim Cattrall with, you know, and you stole her hair. Like, that's all. Like, Luann is already one in her mind, which is hilarious. And Bethany screams, I'm calling you out because no one else has the balls. Really?

Starting point is 00:59:35 Everyone calls Luann out constantly. Carol is calling her out all the time. Everyone's calling Luann out all the time. What are you talking about? At least if you're going to fight, have a fight that's something real. I don't like this just screaming about random shit. And don't brag about being a girl's girl and then say that you're the only one who has balls. Okay?

Starting point is 00:59:52 Yeah. And then she gets an extra level of piss because Luann's like, well, nice to meet you. Hey, would you like to be a saint? Look in your cookie jar. There's a saint cookie. Saint. Cookie saint. And then Bethany leaves the room. She's so pissed. She's like, I to be a saint look in your cookie jar there's a saint cookie saint cookie saint and then bethany leaves the room she's so pissed she's like i'm not a saint i'm not a saint i'm not a saint i'm not a saint like she gets so mad about someone calling her a saint

Starting point is 01:00:15 it's like no one's accusing you of stealing the brand saint okay yeah she said at one point then bethany yells you're a slut and a liar and a hypocrite and a snake yep that's real real girl's girl there like what i mean it's crazy i don't know like but you know what though it's funny as i was watching this it also became very clear to me that the anytime anyone even comes close to touching bethany's brand she loses her shit and this comes back later of course but honestly there have only been three people this season that have dared to question in any sort of way her brand, whether intentional or not. John, Sonya, and Luann. And this is what happens.

Starting point is 01:00:51 But Luann didn't even question it. This is a fight that's already been over. And now it turns into the Sonya fight because – Yes. Because then they start talking about Sonya. Yes, because Bethany starts leaving the room and then comes back all mad. And then we get a shot of the sad maid Lynn. She's like

Starting point is 01:01:07 this maid in the kitchen. Oh my God, this housekeeper. Well, you know, she was like, she's probably I don't know if she was either cowering for cover or so excited to tell all her friends. Well, she lives with Dorinda and John. Can you imagine what she hears? She's like, there they go again. Little ear muff.

Starting point is 01:01:24 She's like putting little earbuds in. So I love, oh, sorry. So I was going to say. Oh, no, I was just going to say it goes into the Sonia thing. Yeah, so then they start talking about Sonia. And then I love Luanne. She has her, like, righteous moment. She goes, she is a lot more humble and decent and lovely than you will ever be.

Starting point is 01:01:40 And Bethany goes, yeah, because you've got to waste it all the time. That's why. Yeah, it's easy to be loving when you're, like, getting vodka poured down your throat. And, you know, everyone's saying, like, good for you for being a slut. And then she calls, you know, Sonia a big slut and a drunk. And it's basically Luanne's fault because she's enabling her, which, you know. Yeah, well, at this point, the editors decided that they were no longer. Says the woman who sells alcohol, by the way.

Starting point is 01:02:04 Yeah, exactly. At this point, the editors decided that they were the woman who sells alcohol by the way yeah exactly at this point the editors decided that they were they were sort of done with the fight even though the fight was not going to ever stop this entire episode because the music suddenly changed to like jazzy and fun like bethany was like i'm sick of the way you live and the music is like and bethany is basically stuttering now she She's like, you're like a Lego. You're dirty air. Like she doesn't even know what she's talking about. She's just sputtering and stuttering.

Starting point is 01:02:34 And then she says, Sonia says you have someone every night, over every night, which is not true. Like she's just. And why would she. It goes on so long. And suddenly she believes Sonia. Like, you know, she's very selective about what she believes from Sonia. I mean, I believe that Luann has had many men come through. But, like, at the same time, it's A, none of Bethany's business.

Starting point is 01:02:52 B, Luann is single. She's dating this guy, Tom, that she really likes a lot. But she's still single. She's allowed to bring however men... How many men that she wants to bring, whether on their own or at the same time. I don't care. But my favorite, though, is then Luann gears herself up and she has another one of a classic Luann zinger.

Starting point is 01:03:09 She's like, well, I haven't been staying at Sonia's every night. That's not true. But the hairstyle is true. Bitch! But you did steal my hair. Bitch! And then Bethany storms out. And then I just love Luann just goes, oh, piece of shit.

Starting point is 01:03:28 And Bethany storms up the stairs, stole her hair like what am I, single white drag queen? like that's so stupid, this is crazy, Dorinda, Carol I gotta lay down, I need a nap, this is crazy I can't deal with this bullshit, I gotta go to, I hate this shit it's why I don't go to lunch with people on the Upper East Side, it's why I'm not an Upper East Side lady, I hate BS, like I can't take BS, I hate BS

Starting point is 01:03:44 Bethany, you're nothing but a fake bitch. That fight was nothing real, you fake asshole. How dare you, you hypocrite. Sit down, stolen hair. And guess what? There's BS below 56th Street, okay?

Starting point is 01:03:56 Like, I'm sorry. It's everywhere. Because Bethany did, though, I love how she just went into it, like, total Bethany. I just lost my mind. Like, I don't know where I am. I need to light up. Like, I can't, like, literally, like, I can't

Starting point is 01:04:06 Like, if I have to talk about this one more time, if I have to look around the Santa Claus And there's poop everywhere, like, I'm gonna die Just, like, just stop the poop in my face and, like, hit me up the head with the Santa Claus I can't, like, get me out, Krampus, like, put me in the tub I don't mind if you're a slut But don't be a slut that talks, like, who does that? Like, it's ridiculous, like, if Julia Roberts did that Pretty Woman would have been five minutes, because Richard Gere would have

Starting point is 01:04:22 Dropped her back off downtown, you know what I mean? Like, just shut up, like, I can't even hear. I'm taking a nap. Taking a nap. Talking it on her phone, like, Instagramming it. Now, there's something I want to say, though. That as much as we are totally, totally going in on Bethany, I still really love her still. Like, she cracks me up.

Starting point is 01:04:40 Because I sort of love, like, a woman who is so self-obsessed that she can just tear anyone down. I love that. I think that her rage is totally misdirected. But this is where I will give her some credit. I mean, how annoying to have someone like Luanne. Like, you're trying to vent or whatever you're doing, and Luanne just keeps saying, Well, you stole my haircut. You stole my haircut.

Starting point is 01:05:01 Like, that's... I mean, I would go crazy, too. Yeah, but she was venting about stupid shit. I'm still on one side but i'm just gonna give i want to give bethany some credit because you know well we always end up like bethany again because she's so crazy and she's such a cut fitness but then she feels bad later and then we'll be nice again and that's part of it i feel like has to be some kind of prescription use because that was just too crazy over nothing and the thing is this is that luan unfortunately luan is fairly delusional about things and so it's frustrating because bethany when she calms down she becomes rational and she sees things

Starting point is 01:05:36 for what they are luan however just never quite sees them so it's like it's a hard thing and so when they're both amazing because of that exactly i mean this is great this was just like a big this was a big old christmas gift jules is like i would love to talk about this but my father is in the hospital i'm like oh geez okay jules here comes another asshole bringing up their parents as their storylines they can sit there and cry for five minutes but you're on vacation instead of visiting your father while he's in the hospital with pneumonia I'm not going to feel bad for you you stupid bitch I think she only

Starting point is 01:06:08 having a nanny and like how it's killing you and then you eat shit off the buffet with your bare hands gross well I think she only found out about the pneumonia right then with that phone call I think that was the point right but I didn't think so I thought it was that she was saying I'm calling my dad I'm trying to call my dad because he's in the hospital with pneumonia

Starting point is 01:06:24 and then Luann comes outside and she's like oh hi jules jules is like my dad you know my dad has pneumonia and she's like can you believe what bethany said about me i mean the the horror i said bring it girlfriend and she's sitting there in a whale tail sticking out of her pants she called me a slut it's like close up on the whale and jules is like here let me explain this to you more clearly my father is dying well i'm dying on the inside because bethany was so hurtful to me did you believe that but i i have i'm going through my own pneumonia and bethany's the cause of it i i want to cough up all this because bethany's sitting on my chest and i like how jules is like oh well well, I basically can't compete with this.

Starting point is 01:07:07 So that's that. And they just never came back to it. Did I tell you why I lost a nanny? That was the last we heard of the pneumonia, by the way. That was it. I thought they were setting us up for some dramatic thing. And, in fact, on the episode description, it said that one housewife has to leave for a medical emergency. I was like, no, the extent for a medical emergency i was like no

Starting point is 01:07:25 the extent of the medical emergency maybe we'll see more next episode was that she got this phone call and she was trying to like conjure up the medical emergency and the man was like no now's not your time let me talk about how i was called a slut if there's going to be a medical emergency on that porch it's going to be luanne trying to deep throat that snowman that's staring staring at her right behind her it's like a blow-up snowman staring at her. I was shocked that she didn't turn around like, what do you do?

Starting point is 01:07:51 Well, Luann had the cigarette out, which was also impressive. I mean, you know, we rarely see Luann with a cigarette. While she complained about pneumonia, she's like, my dad might die of pneumonia. Jules came out, honestly, Jules came out of this episode probably the best of out of everyone well why because she's got her mouth shut when you keep your mouth shut you always come out okay wait she'll open it up again next week don't worry yeah well then and I love that then Dorinda comes

Starting point is 01:08:18 outside and he goes well thank you for defending me, hostess with a mostess. You were supposed to say, you better back it up, girlfriend. That's your line. Everyone knows it's your line. If you don't take care of it, I will leave. Oh, the man might leave. Oh, no. Meanwhile, Dorinda's like, hey, hey, I cooked your food.

Starting point is 01:08:46 I made a bed for you. I made it nice. I made it nice. It's not my job to defend you. I'm like, well, actually, you are the number one person. Like, why didn't you defend me? You had me in your house. These are some big girls here. These aren't kids.

Starting point is 01:08:56 These are big girls, especially Luanne. She's like nine feet tall. I made it nice. By the way, that made me so happy because when I was doing my photo cap, I had like three or four times when I had Dorinda say, I made it nice. By the way, that made me so happy because when I was doing my photo cap, I had like three or four times when I had Dorinda say, I made it nice. And I was like, I wonder if people will get this. Was this just something that I heard once that I thought was funny? Or is this like a funny thing?

Starting point is 01:09:14 And then like last night, she said, I made it nice 10 times. I was like, I made it nice. I made it. I made it nice. I invite you all over here. I made it nice. And upstairs in the bedroom, Bethany's still cracking out all over the room. Probably because the walls are like cherry red.

Starting point is 01:09:32 My head does look like Luann. Like, look at my hair. Oh, my God. She's right. It is Luann's hair. Oh, my God. What am I going to do? She's laughing.

Starting point is 01:09:40 She's like in a manic fit. She says that Dorinda can't have a normal party. She's like, remember last year? Like, Dor dorinda can't have a normal party she's like remember last year like dorinda's party it was insane like remember remember and then they cut to bethany making it insane and screaming at somebody for no fucking reason again i'm like you are the common denominator here okay you're you're the asshole lesson learned don't put bethany in fun houses okay if too many colors she loses it dorinda shouldn't be in the hospitality business i'll tell you that much oh really because she's not the one. Dorinda shouldn't be in the hospitality business, I'll tell you that much. Oh, really?

Starting point is 01:10:05 Because she's not the one doing it. You shouldn't be in hotels ever. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Maybe you should learn to be hospitable. So all the women are now, everyone except for Luanne, are all sitting on the bed. And Carol's like, nah, this is what I like. This is a good old-fashioned slumber party. Just a bunch of girls on a bed.

Starting point is 01:10:24 I'm like, yeah, it is like a slumber party. A bunch of girls on a bed i'm like yeah it is like a slumber party a bunch of girls on the bed and someone who's totally ostracized downstairs crying that's what that's exactly what i imagine every little girl slumber party to be congratulations let's put luann's hand in some water while she's sleeping and she'll be the couch oh luann okay so jules is trying to talk again, but she can't get an overt. Ramona's stroking her forehead. She's like, my dad. While she reeks of cigarettes.

Starting point is 01:10:51 She's like, my dad. And then no one cares. So they start talking about her husband. And then Michael, I was like five seconds till Luann enters. And sure enough, she's like, hi, girls. It's all awkward. I hear there's a slumber party happening up here. They're all quiet crickets

Starting point is 01:11:06 so luann says that she's gonna leave um and then ramona's then ramona takes her downstairs to calm her down okay luann why don't we talk it out okay so they're talking about it's not kool-aid like we're all drinking kool-aid like what's in it like there's another phrase ramona has no idea what it means i think the luan was drinking the kool-aid like it's crazy so now luan now things go in a really strange direction because now luan is losing it she sort of is she now she's venting because the whole the whole thing is that she has no ally which is why i kind of feel bad for it she has no one in her corner at all and so she has to steal with ramona, and she's like, this is crazy, this party, and it's supposed to be a holiday party, it's not a holiday party, it's a birthday party.

Starting point is 01:11:48 She doesn't want to say it's a birthday party, but look, there's a cake, there's a cake that says happy birthday, Dorinda. Happy not birthday, birthday. And she's like going off about something that actually really doesn't make a lot of sense, and it's kind of, it starts to get nasty, I think. Are you talking about my mother?

Starting point is 01:12:02 My mother made that cake. You can talk about me, you can talk about John, but don't talk about my mother? My mother made that cake. You can talk about me. You can talk about John, but don't talk about my mother. I made it nice. I cooked. I decorated. And then she just starts going, Dorinda. She starts bellowing.

Starting point is 01:12:16 Red face Dorinda going crazy. Oh, you go home. Yeah, because she hears Luanne going off about the cake. What she unfortunately missed was Luanne doing another hair flipping impersonation of Bethany because Luanne is obsessed with it. I was like, oh, look at my hair. Hey, look, I got Bethany hair. No, Bethany has my hair. But anyway, so Dorinda is now bellowing.

Starting point is 01:12:34 I'm sorry to be the one to point this out, but there were only cold cuts on that table. If you didn't cook shit, you want to wrap some Oscar Mayer. Shut up. Yeah, and your mom made the cake anyway. Don't mess with Diane's birthday cake. Oscar Mayer. Shut up. Yeah, and your mom made the cake anyway.

Starting point is 01:12:44 Don't mess with Diane's birthday cake. So then Dorinda, when she starts to bellow, she gets a different voice. Because she goes from, don't mess with it. Don't mess. I made it nice. I made it nice. I think it's understressed of you people. You're just crazy. I did it nice.

Starting point is 01:12:59 I'm broken in the heart. She literally says, I did it nice. I did it nice. I did it nice. I did it nice. I got candles from the store and everything. I did it nice. Like a deranged Tracy Ullman. Go home! Go home!

Starting point is 01:13:15 Don't you dare say anything about Diane's like a manna's cake, okay? That's sacred. You wanna go? You wanna go with Betty Crocker? Bring it! I decorated. I decorated. I cooked. I made it nice. you want to go you want to go a betty crocker bring it i decorate i decorate it i cooked i made it nice so at this point ramona she understands what's doing the situation this is like defcon 5 she knows like the hulk is is already like the pants are already ripping and everyone is like okay okay everyone we're gonna change things let's do something fun and well actually

Starting point is 01:13:42 i'm sorry it was jewels jules was the one that was like, hey, can we open up the pool? Let's do a polar bear swim. Let's do something fun. Let's do something fun. Let's do something fun. And then Luan's like, can we play charades?

Starting point is 01:13:52 Can we play charades? And everyone goes, Twista! Okay, let's do Twista. I'm a slob. I can't do that, remember? And then so Dorinda starts going on. She's talking about,

Starting point is 01:14:06 my mother's cake is sacred. It's sacred. And Luanne leans in and goes, you must understand that it was called a slut. And Ramona just walks up to Luanne and just spanks her. It's just like, stop it, Luanne. Ramona tells us, I mean, come on, Luanne. Shut your mouth already. Like, who cares if you're a slut?

Starting point is 01:14:26 I don't know why I thought that was so funny. Well, it's just so funny that Luanne, this is where Luanne always loses in these things because she, once she's in these arguments, she can't help but play the victim card. I mean, one woman's dad is dying of pneumonia. Another woman is talking about

Starting point is 01:14:41 her mom's birthday cake and what it means to her child. And here's Luanne again saying, but please remember i was called a slut have any of you had your hair stolen okay then come talk to me come talk to me when your pneumonia father has his haircut stolen okay so then luann's like well pneumatic pneumatic? Pneumatic, maybe. Like a tire. So then she's like, when Luanne realizes that everyone's called her bluff, no one said, oh, Luanne, stay, stay. She was like, well, like I said in my song, Chic C'est La Vie, you just have to brush off my shoulder when I decide to stay. Like I said in my song, Chic C'est La Vie, you know, I love your mother's cake. I'm sorry you were offended about it that wasn't in the song

Starting point is 01:15:25 louisian i meant i meant for it to be meanwhile only like like 45 minutes has passed in time and it's like this is almost like a real-time episode so now to break to cut the tension jules is busting out um cards against humanity she brought games to everyone. That's when Carol's like, so Asian of you to bring presents. Is it? Do Asian people do that? I don't think I've ever been given a present by an Asian friend. No, she was mocking Jules at that point. She was egging

Starting point is 01:15:56 on Jules to say something about how Asian she is. I was like, shut up, Carol. Let me guess, you brought Chinese checkers. So then... But she didn't't she brought a big game called fail so meanwhile uh bethany so then beth so jules is trying to open up this game and they're they at this point they really look like little girls okay bethany and carol have gone back into the dining room and ramona's now being peacekeeper she's like bethany would you like some tea i'll get you some tea and she then she turns and goes,

Starting point is 01:16:26 hey, can we get some tea over here? I mean, the fireman may have saved your house but I was the one who called them, okay? Okay. She brings her tea called Calm the Fuck Down or something. No, the housekeeper. Housekeeper brings a tea called Easy Now. Yeah. She's like, what are you trying to say?

Starting point is 01:16:43 Huh? She brought me something called Easy Now? Like, what is She's like, what are you trying to say? Huh? Ha ha ha. She brought me something called Easy Now? Like, what is that? Huh? What are you trying to say? Well, she's been listening to you scream. I love that that's just the tea that the maid buys. Because you know they sent her to the Albertsons. She's like, anything that will calm them down.

Starting point is 01:16:57 I don't want to hear Mr. In the Scream all day. I know. And then, meanwhile, Coco is shitting all over the place. Coco's trying to actually help the situation. Coco's like, maybe if I distract him with my shit. Anybody want to go outside? Anybody? How about I walk you for once?

Starting point is 01:17:16 And Bethany going off that head brand. My brand, my brand, my brand, my brand, my brand. And she said that Luann's coming for her brand. And when people try and claim what's mine, it doesn't work out for them. I'm like, really? Because Jason's living in your apartment right now. So I guess it does. Then we have like a little interlude where we cut to Sonya down in the city.

Starting point is 01:17:35 Sonya has made out like a bandit this episode. Here she is thinking she was left out. No, she was spared. That's what she was. Oh, my gosh. So I thought it was good enough that she was seeing this orange, straw-haired, weird golem-type lady. But then Sonia goes, well, my friends are having a great time without me. I may as well resurface my vagina.

Starting point is 01:17:58 I wrote down that quote, too. I love that. She's like, well, okay. The only thing worse than trout mouth Mouth is Trout Snatch. I can't have my Snatch just looking sad. So then we sat and watched for five minutes as Sonia got a giant pill stuck up her vag. By basically John's brother. Yeah, essentially.

Starting point is 01:18:19 Who's only been doing this for three months or something. And she's like, oh my god, I'm a vagina guinea pig. I was just happy for the scene because i finally was able to exhale like i needed a break oh sonia is so awkward too she's like well does it make it tighter i don't want it to be too tight because you know some guys they just want to keep going and going and going he's like and then she says anything for a tighter, lighter, whiter vagina. What? What are you doing? She's like, my face could go to hell, but not my vagina.

Starting point is 01:18:51 It feels like a bolt. You know, like the dog from the movies. I met him at a party. I didn't have sex with him because, you know, he's not human. But still. Oh, gosh. So then we go back to the Berkshires. And now Bethany is saying, you know, the thing is, you know, I really like Luanne. You know, when I feel bad, every time I always go back to Luann.

Starting point is 01:19:06 Like every time we fight, like I like her. At a certain point, I like her. So you think that we're now heading towards the apology sequence, right? No, you're absolutely wrong. There is no apology insight. In fact, we're just heading up for round 10 of this crazy, crazy fight. So first we get an extended montage of – it montage of the best of Luann and Bethany fighting for the past eight years.

Starting point is 01:19:28 And it was great. I could have just watched that for the entire hour. Yeah, pretty much. Okay, so we are, like a good party up in the Berkshires, we have another guest that has just shown up in the middle of our recap. Everyone welcome, Stephanie Wilder-Taylor from the For Crying Out Loud podcast.

Starting point is 01:19:47 Hi, Stephanie. I am so excited. I have so much to say. Yes. I'm so excited to talk to you. We've missed you so much. And because I was talking over it, as usual, it's the For Crying Out Loud podcast. What did I say?

Starting point is 01:19:59 You said it, but I was talking over you, as usual. Oh, okay. Yes. Podcast collide. For Crying Out Yes. Podcast collide. For crying out loud. But whatever. So Stephanie was supposed to come on solely for There Goes the Motherhood. But you know what?

Starting point is 01:20:11 This episode, this Real Housewives of New York episode is too big to be contained to just two podcasters. So here you are. So where we are in the recap is we've just recapped all the way through Sonia's scene. But let's pause for a second and let's get your thoughts. What are your thoughts on the episode? What are your thoughts on Bethany versus Luann? What are your thoughts on Dorinda's birthday cake? So I have always maintained that something is very wrong with Dorinda.

Starting point is 01:20:42 And you guys must remember way back when she first came on the show, I was like, she is such a drunk. Like, it's crazy. I mean, they're all drunks. Yes. But Dorinda, even more to me than Ramona. Dorinda's a drunk. Right?

Starting point is 01:20:57 And that's why I'm loving your podcast because I can't stand how much I love the Dorinda impression. It's so spot on. But remember last season when she was upset at Heather because Heather walked two places ahead of her? It's the same. To me, it's always something that's like,

Starting point is 01:21:13 what? What are you upset about? We don't even understand. You're not upset with my mother. No one said anything about your mother. We're from the same place. You can talk about whatever you want. You can talk about John. Well, actually, no, we can't talk about John because want You could talk about John

Starting point is 01:21:25 Well actually no we can't talk about John Because you get mad about that You could talk about Well you can't talk about your daughter When has anybody ever even talked about her mother I think she would be a great celebrity publicist She just walks up to the interviewer Okay here are the rules

Starting point is 01:21:42 If you want to talk to Tom Cruise You can ask questions about mission. What you can't ask is about Hannah. You can't ask about John. You can't ask about my mom's cake. You can't ask about the back she is. Okay, you better back it up. I made this interview nice for you, okay? I did it nice. I did it

Starting point is 01:21:58 nice. I could call the A. What was, I didn't understand. Did you even understand what the issue was? Was it her birthday or wasn't it? So it was is birthday but she was saying i want to have you over for a christmas party and not necessarily a birthday party because i think if she had a birthday party then she would feel more guilty not inviting sonia or the mess and all of that but then as it happens is that her mother diane went went ahead and made, you know, a Pillsbury cake for her. So, and it said, happy birthday, Dorinda.

Starting point is 01:22:28 So that confused the issue, especially for Luann. Luann had a real issue. That cake is as big as Carol's apartment. That cake is sacred. Okay. That Duncan Hines mix. That is, that's from the Berkshires. Okay.

Starting point is 01:22:43 That's from here. Okay. It's sacred. I love that cake. You're going toires, okay? That's from here, okay? It's sacred. I'm not that cake. You're going to lick your fingers? That cake is moist. Please don't say that word. I don't like the word moist.

Starting point is 01:22:52 I don't like the wien. John comes popping out of it. Wasn't the cake thing right after all the vag talk from Sonia, too? Yes, it was. I didn't put that together, but you're right. Have you resurfaced your vagina, Stephanie? I haven't, but now I kind of feel inspired too. I wonder if the cake smelled like trout.

Starting point is 01:23:20 I don't understand though. Sonia can't afford to heat her apartment, but she can do all that resurfacing. Priorities, darling. Priorities. Well, he's like some kind of intern. He's only been doing it for three months or some shit. That was funny.

Starting point is 01:23:37 She's the vagina guinea pig. I swear to God, that thing's huge. I'm going to have to get a chihuahua penis. I think that thing came from Guardians of the Galaxy. I don't even think it's from this world. Oh, Ben, I meant to tell you that last week on the podcast, I was so with you on the hilarious editing where the dog was pooping everywhere and then Luanne walked in. I just love the smell of fall. That was so funny.

Starting point is 01:24:01 The editors were on fire. The editors had a field day with this episode. And last week. They always have a field day. But this episode, you could tell they were just – this was their favorite thing to do. Okay. So my thoughts about Bethany just to – my overall thoughts are I loved Bethany. I didn't like Bethany when she first came back on the show.

Starting point is 01:24:27 I thought she was very abrasive and it wasn't fun. But then I feel like once she stopped crying, I sort of was getting on board. And I did like a lot of the one-liners. Then the beginning of this season, I was really on board. I'm like, I love Bethany. She's so funny. Now she sort of feels like the only reason to watch. And she's back to being like she was original Bethany, the voice of reason.

Starting point is 01:24:48 But now I feel like in the last couple of episodes she's gotten really mean girl to the point that it's just uncomfortable. I find it uncomfortable to listen to her go off on people. She doesn't seem to hear herself at all. doesn't seem to hear herself at all. It's like she thinks everybody needs a Bethany lesson and she's going to school everyone on how to behave and how to treat her and what their behavior

Starting point is 01:25:11 is and who's she? Yeah, exactly. Listen, I'll tell you who she is. She cuts you out. You know who she is? She is someone who was invited to speak at the Learning Annex once, okay? So everyone listen up. You better back it up. You better back it up. You better back it up.

Starting point is 01:25:27 Do you think, I just had this theory pop into my head while you were talking about Bethany. And I wonder how much of her friendship with Carol has informed this sort of behavior. Do you think that Bethany and Carol are enabling awful behavior amongst each other? Do you feel like they were never quite popular girls popular girls we just had before you came on i had a whole rant about how carol you know her inner high school mean girl has come out and we can see what she was like

Starting point is 01:25:55 popular girl rolling her eyes at people but now i'm starting to think maybe neither of them were ever popular and together they finally are getting to be the mean girls they always wanted to be you know but they never were do you think that might be causing it you know what i i do but i sort of feel like maybe carol was always like that but then she she got kind of uppity with her journalism career and her book she always loves to tell you like just you know how she's true you know she's literary yeah but i do think she was probably like that when she was younger just by the way she acts and her relationship with adam and she's too into being skinny sitting on that counter still drives me nuts sitting on the fucking handlebars of the bike i mean stop just she doesn't know just sit on things you're supposed to sit on okay i have a

Starting point is 01:26:39 dog named baby that is so sad to me that she named her dog Baby. I'm like, your raisin just dropped out of your vagina. Do you hear how snippy she got when Coco was shitting all over the place? She was like, wait, I didn't know we could bring dogs. I would have brought Baby. That's all we need. Like two constant shitters in the house. Because you know Carol's not like, bad baby, you need to go outside.

Starting point is 01:27:05 You know she never does that. She's like, baby pooped inside, but that's what they do. Adam. She's friendlier than FaceTiming Adam. He's like, what bitch? He's in Costa Rica. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:16 He's like, I've got three Vietnamese village people on their knees right now. Can I help you? He's like, put it on your Instagram and tag me. Give me some new followers. He's like, put it on your Instagram and tag me. Give me some new followers. He's like, dick for the third world, my new charity. We don't need to actually talk on the phone.

Starting point is 01:27:32 Just Instagram it to me. Just Instagram everything. I love when they were in that camera shop, and she's buying him like a $1,000 lens for his camera that he can take to take pictures of his charity work. Exactly. You could buy that entire village with that. And then Carol would really feel like she had some damn babies. lens for his camera that he can take to take pictures of his charity work exactly you could buy that entire village with that and then carol would really feel like she had some damn babies

Starting point is 01:27:49 yeah it is insane that she gave up that she's not gonna do her book yes and as speaking as an author that's weird yeah it is something is very weird with the fact that like yeah i'm not we we kind of parted ways you don't part ways with your editor unless you gave the money back. Unless you got fired. Yeah. I think I said that at the time, right? That something is not right. Like that's a big deal to give up – not just to change projects but to like change editors.

Starting point is 01:28:18 That's not – She didn't understand radish sushi. She's too old. I need someone younger and hipper. But I will say that I was extremely offended by, and I don't get offended very easily. Go on. But I don't mind.

Starting point is 01:28:37 Of course I like it when they kind of put each other down and it's fun. But don't, the whole Lu-Man thing and and oh, Lu-Man looks like a drag queen. That's just mean. It's mean and it's high school and it's just not to be, you're saying that on the show and that's supposed to be your friend? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:57 Well, I thought the, I think the most offensive part about it was how unoriginal it was. Like, great. You're stealing the names off the internet from 10 years ago. At least Mario came up with something slightly amusing. Discountess.

Starting point is 01:29:11 Well, see, it's kind of funny if you're talking about something that's just the way they act. If they're calling her uppity or they're making fun of her. Of course. Luanne is ridiculous. We can all agree, but we all know that. But to be like, she looks like a man.

Starting point is 01:29:25 You're not doing that great yourself yeah especially when carol looks like ross perot with some makeup on not ross perot watch you'll never unsee it now oh no i'm while i was watching it and i've it's all i see now oh i run a business. I can tell you how to do it. I run this country like a business, like a Walmart. I'll do it. Is Ross Burrow still alive?

Starting point is 01:29:52 I think he is. I think he is. Guys like that never die. Oh, my God. So now I'm unhappy with Bethany. Now I feel like, okay, you've crossed the line. And the thing I hate about Bethany is whenever she's doing her her confessional she's she says it like right right like you're all with me I mean I think we could all agree that Luann's a whore and I'm just I'm just saying I'm just saying what we're all thinking

Starting point is 01:30:17 well we're not all thinking that yeah so you know it's it's weird because, you know, I think that we are sort of all kind of rallying around Luann. Like, go, get yourself some nice, you know, dick. Well, that's a mistake that Bethany's making over and over, I think, in this season. She is being funny. Like, I mean, I still like her, but she's making people victims. And that's when they become huger stars. but she's making people victims and that's when they become huger stars. Like if you want to get rid of Sonya and Luann,

Starting point is 01:30:47 you cannot victimize them because now everybody's rallying behind Sonya and Luann. Yeah, exactly. You would think that someone who calls themselves such a pro would know this. Like we saw it happen with Brandi Glanville. Like that's the most famous case. But it happens all the time.

Starting point is 01:31:01 If you victimize them, they become popular and then everybody sides with them. And then they get another season. So, Stephanie, we got all in a tizzy just before you came on about the fact that Bethany was really, really slut-shaming Luann while simultaneously accusing Luann of not being a girl's girl. And to me, that seemed like those two things didn't go together. I kind of feel like slut-shaming someone is representative of the fact that you're not a girl's girl. What do you think about that?

Starting point is 01:31:32 Oh, I agree. And she just kept saying, I mean, not that there's anything wrong with it. Like, I mean, go ahead. Be a whore. Just own it. Just own it. Well, you're outing her on TV, and it's stuff that we don't even know as viewers because she's talking about conversations that they had that were not on camera. Yeah, that's what she did with Dorinda, too.

Starting point is 01:31:53 Yeah, and on top of that, Luann has two kids who, admittedly, they're grown. But maybe Luann is trying to kind of protect them a little bit. And, of course, you can say the argument, well, if you want to protect them, don't act like that. But maybe she doesn't want to just put all her sluttiness out there because she doesn't want her kids to. She does put it out there, though. That's the thing. Like both Bethany and Luann are so missing the mark because they keep saying things like, well, I said it to a face. Because they keep saying things like, well, I said it to a face. Or Carol says, I'm hiding in the closet to listen to Ramona because Luann says things behind my back and not to my face.

Starting point is 01:32:35 What part of not to your face is you're a fucking pedophile all over Twitter? I know. She said everything. All that shit that you're complaining about that she said, she said right to your face really loudly. Yeah. And you know what? The thing is, too, that nobody will accept an apology from Luann. Have you noticed that? They all keep going,

Starting point is 01:32:49 well, she hasn't apologized. And then Luann will go like, you know what? I'm really sorry. And they go, ah, it's not good enough. Why won't Luann ever apologize for anything? And Luann's like,

Starting point is 01:32:58 how many times do I have to freaking apologize to these people? Well, I think the reason why they don't accept it is because Luann has cultivated some sort of image of being fake. Because one of Luann's faults is that she's really bad about taking accountability. She's really, really bad about that. Oh, the worst.

Starting point is 01:33:13 And so when someone does not take a lot of accountability, if they say, I'm sorry, it does not feel sincere. So Luann has to work on that. That is definitely a problem area for her. Well, Luann's an asshole. Bethany being an asshole doesn't make Luann's an asshole. Bethany being an asshole doesn't make Luann not an asshole. I completely agree. They're both the worst.

Starting point is 01:33:32 But I think that Bethany has been... Slash the best. But I think Bethany is just coming off as kind of a desperate cut fitness. Yeah, she really is. I think it's like, Bethany, you're rich. You have the business that you have. No one's trying to take that away from you. Yeah, she's totally in the wrong, but at the same time, Bethany, you're a billion. You're doing better than any of those people on the show.

Starting point is 01:34:09 You don't have to constantly tell us that. Or why doesn't Bethany say to Sonia, you know what? This brand is too close to mine. You're a friend of mine. Please change it. How about that? Exactly, exactly.

Starting point is 01:34:20 Change to something else. Call it tipsy something, but don't call it tipsy girl. It's too close to my brand. Exactly. Change to something else. Call it tipsy something, but don't call it tipsy girl. It's too close to my brand. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real.

Starting point is 01:34:32 I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks. Reconstruction. MLK. February Black History Month. Exactly. Exactly. Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly.

Starting point is 01:34:51 There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others.

Starting point is 01:35:14 Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.

Starting point is 01:36:14 Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Yeah, exactly. And then, oh, the whole thing too, by the way, by the way, Bethany did steal Luann's haircut. Just saying it, just saying it.

Starting point is 01:36:34 Oh, well, what, are soccer moms everywhere going to start yelling at them for stealing their hair? I mean, come on. I agree, but for Bethany, Bethany is acting crazy, going like,

Starting point is 01:36:43 what does she even mean? Oh, I cut my hair the same? Oh, okay, what does she even mean? Oh, I cut my hair the same? Oh, okay, what does that even mean? What do you mean? It means you cut your hair the same. What do you think it means? This is why Bethany always skates by because then later in the episode, she's like, oh, my God, I did steal a hair. Look at it.

Starting point is 01:36:57 Like, I did. I did it. I did it. She's right. I like the win. Like, I don't even know what I'm doing. Okay, so I called her a whore. Like, I mean, whatever.

Starting point is 01:37:03 It's been like 10 years. Like, whatever. Who cares? Like, it's no big deal. Like, she don't even know what I'm doing. Okay, so I called her a whore. Like, I mean, whatever. It's been like 10 years. Like, whatever. Who cares? Like, it's no big deal. Like, she won't care. There's the thing, too, is that she says all these horrible things. I mean, she was going crazy in that scene just like, you're a whore. And another thing, you're a whore.

Starting point is 01:37:18 And by the way, did I mention what a whore you are? And you're a bad mom. And you're this and you're disgusting. And then 10 minutes later, she's she's like yeah I kind of like her yeah she likes her punching bags but then again you can't feel too bad for Luann because she's like alright I'll send a text

Starting point is 01:37:33 saying I'm sorry I called you a pedophile oh god go back into hiding because Carol might steal you well but to be fair so that was sort of what starts to happen soon is that you know Carol and and carol and ramona were chatting um and carol was saying how she's still upset that luanne called her a pedophile um and so and so ramona's like well would it make it better if she just apologized and she said i

Starting point is 01:37:59 thought she did apologize wow she still called me a pedophile she invited me to her christmas party without saying i'm sorry for calling you a pedophile. She invited me to her Christmas party without saying, I'm sorry for calling you a pedophile. How am I supposed to go sit around all those kids? And then she says that she actually, if Luanne had even just texted her and said, hey, I'm sorry I called you a pedophile. Will you come to my

Starting point is 01:38:17 party? You know, I would have actually respected that and sort of been amused by that. So then what happens is Carol leaves the room, goes and hides in the closet as like uh with jewels yeah with jewels jewels just about my father my nanny's still gone carol's like why is the ironing board talking to me so then you want a pretzel so then luanne now is sitting with ramona and ramona's like hey you know what you should do you should text carol and tell her i I'm sorry, I called you a pedophile. And I was like, I didn't call her a pedophile.

Starting point is 01:38:49 You did call her a pedophile. Maybe I called her a pedophile. So Luanne says on Twitter, it doesn't count. Yeah. So then Luanne sends the text saying, hey, sorry for calling you a pedophile. And sorry, you couldn't come to my party. But maybe next year you can come to my party but maybe next year you can come to my party based on ramona saying no carol will find it funny

Starting point is 01:39:09 carol gets it and she's like oh my god like this is such a weird text like what is wrong with her like you you you set her up this is like that scene in tootsie Do you guys remember the movie Tootsie? Of course. Okay, remember when Jessica Lange says, I just wish a guy would just say like, hey, nice to meet you. I'm attracted to you. Do you want to go to bed with me? So then later, Dustin Hoffman comes up to her at a party and goes like, hey, you know what? I don't

Starting point is 01:39:39 like a lot of game playing, a lot of whatever, but I find you attractive and I'd really like to go to bed with you. And then she slaps him across the face do you remember that i don't like the same thing it's like the same thing it's like you that's what you said that's what you said would work and then it would be done and then it would be fine but she keeps even repeating the story wrong she's like a bethany they pick they pick things they like from the story that'll make the other person look worse and then they use that because when she talks about the text later she's like

Starting point is 01:40:07 yeah she sent me a text too and it said sorry you didn't come to my Christmas party maybe you'll come next time like she totally took the pedophile part out of there yeah like why you don't want to call yourself a pedophile again you've just done it like to be fair it's to be fair it doesn't yeah

Starting point is 01:40:24 oh I just think it's that Carol they some of these women they like to be fair it's to be fair it doesn't yeah oh i just think it's that carol they some of these women they like to keep the fight going on with the other ones because then they feel like they're part of the inside yeah you know because they take turns feeling like the outsider so when they're on the inside they just want to keep it going yeah let's all be against luann yeah just for the record, in that fight, Carol was right as well with the Luann thing. Luann was out of control, calling her all these names

Starting point is 01:40:50 for dating the guy, and then she told everybody that her niece was dating this guy, and she wasn't. It was ridiculous. Yeah, Luann really messed up at the end of last season because after the trip to the Caribbean,

Starting point is 01:41:04 everyone just loved her when she did the, when she did the be cool, don't be all uncool. It was like one of Luann's greatest moments and she just was awesome. And the fact that she became so unhinged about, about the stupid chef really made her look bad. But this season, you know,

Starting point is 01:41:19 she's just trying to move past it. She's, she knows she was a crazy person, but I also, I will say this after sitting here and bashing carol for the way she received luann's text i do on a certain level understand why she rolled her eyes because it would have been one thing if luann had just said it but it was obviously prompted by ramona which just goes and contributes more to this idea that luann is insincere. Yeah, well, it all goes back, I think, to when Luann got busted sleeping with the Johnny Depp pirate guy.

Starting point is 01:41:50 Yeah. I think that's when we all knew, oh. It's like poquito, por favor, no tello, my boyfriend. Je ne sais pas qui Johnny Depp is. I mean, then her boyfriend, you know, she was sleeping with the French David Schwimmer. And then they broke up over it. And I think we as an audience got a taste of like,

Starting point is 01:42:12 oh, Luanne is totally fake. So I think since then it's hard to fault anyone for being mad at Luanne. Because you're like, yeah, you have the etiquette book and you class by the countess song and it's all bullshit. But she did.

Starting point is 01:42:28 Last season, I thought one of her arcs was supposed to be that she became unshackled by her previous image. And she let her party girl out and was just having fun. And it was liberation. And finally, Luann can be Luann. I don't think Luann will ever be Luann. Her opening thing is still don't think Luann will ever be Luann. Her opening thing is still don't mess with the Countess or whatever.

Starting point is 01:42:50 How long do you get to be the Countess by the way? She's engaged to the new guy. Yeah, when they get married she won't be the Countess anymore. Now she'll be a D'Agostino. She'll be like listen, when I tell you how to bag your groceries you better listen. Heavy things on the bottom.

Starting point is 01:43:07 You better hold this dag bag with two hands. Paper and plastic. Hey, don't check me out. I'll check you out because I work at dagasinos now. The only place I have plastic is in my face. Say it again. I was talking over you. The only place I have plastic now is in my face paper for everything else

Starting point is 01:43:30 I yeah it's I mean that's what's sort of great about these shows there is nothing is ever cut and clear which is why I think we had so many listeners on our Facebook page were team Bethany and team Luann.

Starting point is 01:43:45 Because really you could fault these women for anything. This is like a boxing match that comes down to the points and not like a knockout. There was no knockout punch. Luann pretty much looked like she was winning. But again, she didn't play the victim card right. She was sort of annoying as a victim. She's like, she called me a slut. Did you hear that?

Starting point is 01:44:04 She called me a slut. She should have just cried. and then everyone would have rallied around her and bethany would have been the evil one but instead she drools his dad is dying and she's talking about the slut the birthday cake she said i'm a slut you know i think luann's a little off yeah do you know what i mean i think it's almost weird because she was kind of laughing about it and going like i shouldn't even stay here. I should leave. Well, they called me a whore. Well, I'm not leaving. It was kind of odd.

Starting point is 01:44:30 She was sort of thinking it was funny. She knows what they're doing. If she leaves and she's not filming, then Bethany wins because that's what Bethany's trying to do. She's purposely trying to get her off the show. She's trying to get everybody cut out of these scenes. If she leaves, then Bethany wins. She these scenes and if bethany if she leaves then

Starting point is 01:44:45 bethany won so she keeps walking into whatever scene i think she won every fight except because she didn't really fight back she just said stupid things but i think where she lost is when she started complaining behind everybody's back because i can understand how she she was victimized and having a whole group of people one's yelling at, the other one is openly hating on you. And then they're all siding with them and going up and being in the room with them while you're left all alone. Like, I don't care how old you are. That shit will hurt your feelings. Yeah, absolutely.

Starting point is 01:45:14 I felt bad for her walking around. And it starts venting and then people hear it. And it looks like she's being a bitch again when she really, she's just venting. Yeah. I mean. Is it just me or I just don't like the idea of her watching the show back and seeing Carol going,

Starting point is 01:45:28 Lu-man, she looks like a man. She looks like a transvestite. It's just, that's just low for grown women. To me, it's such a stupid comment that I wouldn't even take it. I'd be like, shut up. Unless it was like a, unless that's like an ongoing insecurity for Lu-man.

Starting point is 01:45:42 But I think that like, she's pretty much, she's regarded as like a really beautiful woman. So I don't think that the man thing would be something that she would take offense to. I think she would just roll her eyes at the stupidity of it. Oh, just you wait. Just you wait for that reunion. I know, Luann, that's the thing. But you called me Luann.

Starting point is 01:46:02 If there's anyone who can't take an insult, it's Luann. I remember four years ago, she spent an entire season saying to everyone, Would you believe Bethany called me a snake? She called me a snake. Would you believe it at a fashion show? I mean, for an entire season, she talked about how she was called a snake. I have to say, Luann has a great body. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:46:19 You guys notice that she turns around. I'm like, she has a great butt. Oh, yeah. For someone her age, she looks good. I think the thing that troubled me the most about this all is that through thick and thin, Luanne has always been sort of like the faux classiest of them all. She's just been a little bit more elegant. She's always been a little bit more elegant. Yes, agreed. Whenever she's been like dragged into the mud she still always

Starting point is 01:46:45 has this imperial ridiculous haughty thing that she does and this was a time when i felt like she actually looked kind of pathetic and it bothered me that me too i think that's what it is i think it was watching carol it wasn't necessarily the insult it was it was the venom that they were go that they were trying to really take her down. And she hadn't done that much. She hadn't done enough to warrant that level of mean. And nothing this season.

Starting point is 01:47:14 And she's wandering around the basement. They're all up on a bed. And she's wandering around the house with her little furry, feathery, whatever it was. And she was so clearly the odd woman out she walks in everyone's quiet and it just felt like this is not how one treats the countess the discountess i mean look around the room girls and see who you're hanging out with do you really want to spend the rest of your

Starting point is 01:47:37 show time with carol jules and who else was boring there i guess ramona and and the other okay dorinda are great but yeah i mean jules and carol are such there? I guess Ramona and the other, okay, Dorinda are great. But, I mean, Jules and Carol are such a waste of fucking space at this point. Like, why are you fighting to get the only entertaining people off of this show? Do you really need to watch Carol try and fuck another 20-year-old? I know. Stephanie, do you think on some level that Bethany might be jealous of Luann and Luann's lifestyle? I almost said lifestyle. think on some level that Bethany might be jealous of Luann and Luann's lifestyle lifestyle I must

Starting point is 01:48:05 have life's toil I think that Bethany is on definitely sad on some level she can't she can't get a relationship off the ground yeah and I think that I think she's mad right now that Luann I mean because at this point in the show even though they're filming Luann is with this guy I mean they're they're serious they're engaged I think, they're serious. They're engaged, I think. Right. They're engaged now, which kind of makes it ridiculous that they keep calling her a whore when it's like, well, she's the only one with an actual boyfriend at this point. I guess Carol. But Bethany's the one who keeps going on dates and then she can't get anything off the ground. She has these failed relationships behind her. And I think that's got to wear on her a little bit. elder relationships behind her and i think that's got to wear on her a little bit yeah i i think so i think you know i think someone like bethany probably sees a situation sees someone like

Starting point is 01:48:51 luann she thinks luann is fake she thinks luann is full of bullshit and then all of a sudden luann has a boyfriend and it's almost like not fair how can this woman who's so full of bullshit who sleeps around with everyone and suddenly she's like in a relationship when she was saying she doesn't want to be in a relationship she wants to play around and I think the inconsistencies in Luann's stories drive someone like Bethany absolutely bonkers oh could you imagine her in a

Starting point is 01:49:14 relationship what is that a penis what is it looking at me like why is your penis looking at me what am I supposed to do with that what is it doing put that back in your pants what are you a pervert like what is this but back a few seasons ago the thing that I find interesting is that what Bethany puts up with, she's going after Luann

Starting point is 01:49:30 because she thinks Luann is weak. Because Luann is like the lame housewife, kind of limping around, easy pickings, easy prey right now. Whereas Ramona is not. But a few seasons ago, Ramona was awful to Bethany.

Starting point is 01:49:47 Oh, yeah. And she's apparently just over that. I mean, that scene when they were walking across the bridge with Ramona, and it's like, you can't keep a relationship alive. Wait, Jason's just going to leave you. They all leave you. Nobody stays with you. I mean, you're gross. I mean, and somehow that every single time i watch an episode i think of that i think of ramona just being awful and somehow bethany just lets that go but goes after the plan's never been that neat never been mean as far as i've seen to bethany i think that well they say that i think at this point they're just used to ramona just being

Starting point is 01:50:21 truly awful they at this point it's like there's just no there's there's no reasoning with her just let her be awful um i want to say that as we're discussing this i went on to google to see if um bethany and eric stone street were still together and i did a search i said bethany frankel eric stone street and google had a very passive aggressive response it said people also ask, who is Eric Stonestreet's girlfriend? Who is Bethany Frankel? Oh, that's funny. That's funny.

Starting point is 01:50:55 Yeah. I don't think they're together. No, I don't think so. Are they? There was an article that... Are there any articles about it? I mean, there are articles from last year, but there doesn't seem to be anything currently. That was last year, and this was being shot at Christmas.

Starting point is 01:51:09 I think that relationship was over. By the way, I wanted to bring up something that we didn't talk about, we haven't talked about yet. And that is that all of this Tom storyline is totally Dorinda gating back at Ramona. You know that, right? My best friend pointed that out on the phone. She's like, did you talk about how Dorinda totally set this thing up and is now acting all innocent? Because she's the one who hooked up

Starting point is 01:51:30 Oh, yeah. She's the one who hooked up Luann with Tom in the first place. You're right. That is clever. I think the whole thing is weird that Ramona has been if you want to talk about whores, Ramona's the one who's

Starting point is 01:51:45 been a whore. And then Ramona's like, oh, I was with him for really long. No, you weren't. I think Ramona's a fake whore. I think that she likes to talk like she's a whore. I think, and I think she, she goes out on, on harmless dates where she has drinks and then she goes and tells people, oh yeah, he was really into me. He was like kissing all over my neck and I was like,

Starting point is 01:52:05 stop it. I can't, this is too much. And then she also, then she goes on all these innocent dates. Yeah. She does all these innocent dates that are really nothing. And then she claims ownership of them all like,

Starting point is 01:52:15 oh, well I can't believe, I can't believe you saw that person. I went on, I had drinks with them. You know, like I can see her totally being that type. I agree.

Starting point is 01:52:23 Yeah, absolutely. You're dating that guy, Jem? That waiter? Like, I dated him. No, he just brought you iced tea, Ramona. Calm down, okay? You don't get to claim every waiter that comes to the table.

Starting point is 01:52:33 Yeah. So, the sad part about all... He kept asking me what I wanted. Like, he was so in love with me. Speaking of Ramona, the sad part about all this fighting is that ramona emerged as one of the voices of reason you know she was the one who um you know she was she was speaking to carol trying to talk carol down she's talking luann down at one point she and luann were in the kitchen and ramona was like you know what really bothered bethany was that you said that you

Starting point is 01:53:03 came up with skinny girl and was like i never said that no i Bethany was that you said that you came up with Skinny Girl. And I was like, I never said that. No, I heard you say it my own ears. I know you said that. And then Luanne's like, well, then she obviously mistook it. And Ramona's like, no, you missaid it. I was like, thank God. I can't believe Ramona is the one to make this point.

Starting point is 01:53:21 It's so true. How do you spell pedophile? Yeah. it's so true pedophile yeah well that was funny too because by the way when when luanne was writing that text and she wrote pedophile like p-e-d-o-f-i-l whatever it was or p-e-d-a-f-i-l jules happened to walk in and luanne's like how do you spell pedophile and jules showing her eagerness to be in with the cool girls is is like, Luann's asking, like, how do you spell pedophile? Like, what's that all about? Like, that's crazy.

Starting point is 01:53:47 Why does she want to know how to spell pedophile? That's crazy. But she gets it completely. This is the point. She's like, I don't understand how she doesn't know how to spell pedophile. Can you guys believe it? She can't even spell. She doesn't even have a nanny to tell her how to spell things.

Starting point is 01:54:01 And Carol. She's so superficial. Like when she gets the text yeah what is superficial unless she said sorry you're the one dating a young man and trying to act like carrie broadshaw from sex in the city lady okay yeah i'm really over carol me too and i used to love carol she's making me fucking nuts yeah i used to love i loved her during book gate. I was completely on her side. I hated Aviva. I was so glad when Aviva left the show and I was all about Carol. And now I just can't, uh, every time I see her, I'm like, why?

Starting point is 01:54:33 Yeah. I've been holding out. I've been like, I'm like, I'm still holding, holding a whatever for a candle for, for Carol. But this episode I was like, I just can't. She is like a mean girl. She really is. For Carol. But this episode, I was like, I just can't. She is like a mean girl. She really is. And in fact, so many of the women in this episode really reverted to their 12-year-old selves.

Starting point is 01:54:59 Even their body language, the way they gather around, the way they were interacting was really so regressive. We saw the storm clouds gathering when Bethany returned. And then she was being an asshole. Like, why would I go there? Why do I want to to go to that party i don't even know that person like because you're on a show with them you fucking asshole so she decides she doesn't want christian on then she doesn't like heather then she starts getting rid of everybody and everybody's kissing her ass because she's so rich it's gonna be this really weird show where it's just bethany and everybody's like kissing her butt now to stay on the show and it's just Bethany in the house by herself. Everybody's kissing her butt now to stay on the show and it's gross to watch.

Starting point is 01:55:27 It's really bad. I want to go back to the days where someone is bringing her down because that's when I liked Bethany because she was the victim. I like Carol because Carol used to make funny one-liners too. Remember when Carol was kind of the voice of reason and she would have those little sly asides

Starting point is 01:55:43 about Aviva or just, she came off as the smart, funny one. And I'll even take it a further step. I liked last season when Bethany and Carol bonded and they were both the funny ones together to get drinks and laugh about everyone in a way that was sort of like the way we, as the audience laughs,

Starting point is 01:55:59 but now they're actually rolling their eyes at everyone, which I don't like. Which I still liked them even just a couple episodes ago when they were like, went on the tour of the house and then they kind of split early i did not like that i thought that was oh you didn't yeah well because i can't but i can't stand jewels oh my god she's terrible i love her but i hate jewels i mean jewels is like just like whatever to me like i don't hate her i don't love her she just is she's just there barely my god every scene she's in i find insufferable everything with the nanny the spit the firing area i know you're gonna make coffee how do you make coffee like how do you do

Starting point is 01:56:35 that i also proud of her shitty parenting i was about to say her parenting seems awful and i'm glad you're actually here to weigh in on that as you are a parenting expert or at least podcaster worst mom but the you know what I don't care be a bad mom cut corners whatever give your kid shitty food if you want to but don't be proud of it yeah don't go like I don't know you can't I can't do anything without sour patch kids yeah she's proud of her stupidity yeah and I can't take that it's it's like yes yes mom's bond on the fact that you know we're not perfect all the time but we don't have pride in being shitty yeah that's so ass backwards but she doesn't even see that she's not perfect like that's the thing she's like oh she's interviewing her nanny and she's like all right put it put it outfit together for my child

Starting point is 01:57:22 yeah okay can you speak spanish because my husband will only speak spanish like oh you're ridiculous those are the people that the upper east side is going to be started on fire for you know it's true it's gonna finally just be sick of it and just like start a fire yeah my issue with her is that she just doesn't bring anything to the show she doesn't have any substance she's not dopey enough to make you hate her she's not funny enough to be funny she's just kind of like a big old whatever who feeds her kids sour patch kids and that's that and she's kosher and she's asian and it's just there's just not enough there there i mean at first she was anorexic like she was like i have an eating disorder and stuff like that and i'm

Starting point is 01:58:02 like honey we're past eating disorders now. This is Housewives. It's called Willpower. I'm very sure. My take on it is that they were like, okay, what's your story? Because I know a little bit about how they audition people. And I had a friend who was doing the auditions for the show looking for people. And they look for people who have a lot of money. They want you to have a lot of money. They price you out, right lot of money and then, and then they want you to do, what's your thing

Starting point is 01:58:28 going to be? What is your thing? What are you going to talk about on camera? So I'm sure that she was like, Oh, well I want to educate people about eating disorders. And I used to have an eating disorder and I'm sure they were like, great. Okay. That's your story that, and you're Jewish and Asian. And she took it so literally that it became like well i'm gonna talk about being anorexic and then she had her scene like this is gonna be my scene where i talk about it and and i'm positive that in her mind it was like oh this is gonna be amazing i'm gonna be known as this person who like helps people by being open about my anorexia but But you're still anorexic.

Starting point is 01:59:06 I know. Do something then. You can't change it by pulling pretzels out of your purse. Exactly. You want a pretzel? You're not proving anything okay. You don't get to stop anorexia community when you're still active. No, and don't have a fucking skinny off with Carol

Starting point is 01:59:21 where you're like, I'm skinnier. No, I'm skinnier. Well, I don't know. When is skinny a bad thing? Oh, when you have anorexia bitch it's like dorinda becoming an aaa counselor yes exactly like honestly when bethany carol and and um and what's her face all get together it's basically just like wind chimes you know they're just like tall and skinny and make some noise they're like droopy wind chimes they're trout chimes yeah exactly i just i think that jewels this show is too big for jewels this new york city is a varsity level bravo show and on and

Starting point is 01:59:57 of the varsity shows it also has the biggest personalities anywhere on bravo and jewels is a there goes the motherhood at best. Oh, I was just thinking that. Yes, that's where she should have been. That's where she belongs. Like, she is on the wrong show. And I don't know how she got cast. But, you know, you never know

Starting point is 02:00:14 because Kelly Ben Simone took a long time to develop also. Kelly Ben Simone was just sort of sitting there for like half a season or three-quarters of the season and I was like, why is this woman on the show? And then all of a sudden it's like, Oh, okay. Got it.

Starting point is 02:00:27 I see why Jules is on. I mean, she's a complete asshole. And if they were giving her more time to say what was on her mind, we would hate her so much. Cause every time she talks, we're like, but she just doesn't get to talk.

Starting point is 02:00:38 You know, she's around all these yentas. I mean, she couldn't even get, she couldn't even get a dying father storyline wedged into this mess oh god but she is kind of the comic relief i mean you know she is really over the top i mean the nanny scene was worth talking about so yeah but it's over the top but like i don't know i think it's because we have lower standards for her like i just don't i just she just to me is does not belong here just yet like i just don't

Starting point is 02:01:06 see what she's bringing to the show so that being said we go back to um luann has now finally crafted an apology to bethany and uh basically saying sorry uh i didn't mean to take credit for your brand i know you created it i take no credit in And, you know, I apologize for the miscommunication, whatever. So Bethany totally goes all tootsie on her. And she's like, well, it's a pimple on the ass of a situation. I'm like, well, actually, you just said 15 minutes ago on the show that the real reason why you went off on her was because she came for your brand. So, yeah, I'm a businesswoman. Nobody comes for my brand.

Starting point is 02:01:43 That's what you don't come for my brand. I don't have that. No one does comes from my brand. You don't come from my brand. I have that. No one does that. I'm Bethany. Yeah, stupid Bethany. Oh, my God. So basically it ends with Bethany coming down and hearing Luann. Oh, wait.

Starting point is 02:01:54 Before that happens, though, Carol and Bethany are upstairs while Dorinda's off somewhere watching Law & Order. And Carol and Bethany are now trying to justify their bitchiness to luann and we talked about that we touched on this a little bit earlier by saying like you know i think being called a slut is kind of hot like i want to be called a slut like i want to i'd be like i'd be happy to be called a slut like well it's funny because if when if luann ever called you a slut you would not like that at all. No. And also she's like, I am the biggest slut. Like, it's Luann, then it's me.

Starting point is 02:02:28 Like, she can call me a slut. I don't care. Like, say I fucked the whole team, you know, the whole football team. Like, I don't care. Like, what? I got a football team. Like, I named them. I don't remember Carol.

Starting point is 02:02:36 Yeah, she was laying in bed. She was laying down. That was Bethany going like, yeah, I think I've had more sex than anybody here. Yeah. Yeah, really? What was that? Like, my refrigerator is cooked the most lo had more sex than anybody here. Yeah, really? What was that? Like my refrigerator is cooked the most loaves of bread on the block.

Starting point is 02:02:48 Yeah. Well, by the way, Carol, I don't seem to remember you being so easygoing about the slut, you know, being called a slut last season when Luann was coming for you. Okay, you didn't seem to take it as a compliment then. Okay, so don't act like all of a sudden.

Starting point is 02:03:02 She didn't like being called a slut. She just minded being called a holt. She just didn't like that it was like a young man they were talking about but the thing is even even when that happened though even the beginning of their feud when it was actually not that feudy when when luanne made some passing comment about um about carol oh maybe it's even ramona making a comment about carol dating a younger man and car's like, I really object to you saying that. It's just really offensive, whatever.

Starting point is 02:03:27 Remember, she got all high-enzyming over something so small. And here, Bethany is calling Luann a slut and a whore. And she should take it as a compliment. I would take it as a compliment. No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't. We've already seen your true colors.

Starting point is 02:03:39 And we've already seen one man that you've been with, the only man we've ever seen, and you never fucked him. Like, you basically waited for him to masturbate so you could catch some sperm to put inside you to have that baby. Ain't no one buying that. Now, this is after, by the way, this is after you guys already talked about, though, Dorinda losing her mind about the cake. Oh, yes. This is after they're winding down from this.

Starting point is 02:04:01 Yes. Dorinda is now watching. She's watching now, right? She's watching Law & Order Special Cake Unit. Yeah, I think we're pretty much at the end because Luann's in the kitchen. Now's the end. Yeah, she's going. She's basically being defensive again and being like, can you believe like Bethany won't even text me back?

Starting point is 02:04:17 I mean, who is she? She's going to bring me down. She's going to bring everyone down. Where's my hair? It's on Bethany. And then. Bethany's heard the whole thing. Is this a monologue? Like you couldn't put this into your text this monologue is this an apology monologue it's a vagina monologue because you're a fitness yeah just gotta just gotta relax just calm the fuck down yeah that was an amazing epic epic it was the entire episode was

Starting point is 02:04:46 a fight how far into the season are we do you think that was are we winding down no i think that's halfway that was episode nine yeah so it's like halfway 18 they're usually between 20 and 23 episodes including the reunions and that was nine so probably about halfway I like the name of the episode I don't know if you guys caught it but the name of the episode was December Brookshire County which I believe was a reference to August Osage County oh yeah yeah yeah

Starting point is 02:05:16 oh my god I love that movie oh my so she was Bethany was basically Meryl Streep just making everyone's life hell in the bedroom yeah probably or Dorinda was or the cake was basically Meryl Streep just making everyone's life hell in the bedroom. Yeah, probably. Or Dorinda was. Or the cake was.

Starting point is 02:05:28 In the house. There was something a little bit empty about this fight though. I just. It wasn't based on anything real, nothing. Yeah. Totally right. Yeah. I feel like I would much rather see Carol and there was a fight with Carol

Starting point is 02:05:43 and Luann when they kind of just went at it at that other party, at Bethany's party. I appreciated that more because it's based on something. But when Bethany keeps going, this goes back a long way. Well, how come you never really had that many problems with Luann going back then? Yeah, just let it go, Bethany. Yeah. Let it go. Just live your life with your money.

Starting point is 02:06:06 And go date on Tinder. And, you know, stop obsessing about all the women. You know what? Just spend some time with Brynn. Remember all the episodes where she was like, I can't leave Brynn. I mean, Brynn. I mean, Brynn's got to go to art class. And who's going to take Brynn to art class?

Starting point is 02:06:21 And I can't just be here with these ladies at a party when this is precious time I have with Bryn. She, how can we never hear about Bryn anymore? Bryn learned to talk. She's like, get the hell out of my room, mother. What are you trying to change my topic? What am I? Get the hell out of here. Literally, I can't. Like literally, like just send me to kindergarten already. Like I can't, I can't with the diapers anymore. Crib up. Crib. Yeah, I know. You know what probably happened was that, you know, I feel like Bethany does not travel well. I feel like Bethany is like a little child. And I feel like after she travels somewhere or when she's tired, she gets really cranky.

Starting point is 02:06:56 And she shows up. She's probably hungry. She's cranky. And Luann said the wrong thing at the wrong time and set her off. And after that, there was no coming back. Yeah, agreed. But I don't think it's fair to everybody else. Everybody has to like walk on eggshells around Bethany.

Starting point is 02:07:11 There ain't no fair in house. It's like having a bipolar parent, you know? You know, well, don't make Bethany, literally. You don't want to make her mad. Because if she goes, she doesn't have any sense of like, there's no stopping her. You know, if you set her off god help you she's off yeah well speaking of bipolar parenting why don't we move on to there goes the motherhood love it there it goes uh do you want to talk uh generals or seen by

Starting point is 02:07:38 this is a long effing episode why don't we talk about our generals yeah do you want to go see what do you guys want to do i mean i don't know if you want to hear my general impressions because they're not good i don't and i don't want to be a i don't want to be a debbie downer so i but um i like it i'm really i think it's really funny stephanie what do you think about the show well i find almost all of the women to be incredibly annoying. Yes. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:08:06 I mean, it's like the chaff of Real Housewives. Yeah, not even. They're the least interesting people and tried to give them a show, and they all sort of think they're interesting, and they're not. Yeah. Well, I like that it's that they're trying to be interesting, but it's really about the kids, you know, because that's kind of what young motherhood is. Like, to me, I like it just because I know so many young mothers. And I see that struggle of, like, trying to keep your, like, sassy single personality. Like, who cares?

Starting point is 02:08:36 I can still do this even though I'm a mom now. But then they can't. Or, like, the mommy issues, like the girl with the mommy issues. And she's, like, creating those mommy issues again with her kid. and she has all this resentment towards her kid and doesn't know why, like her mom did with her. Right, Leah. But I find maybe it's because of living here, as I know you guys do, but it's because I know too many women like that, that it's such a turn off. Those personalities, they're so entitled and they're so they they don't have any idea how they come off and they're so you know the one i hate the most is that one leah yeah there's that one scene in this episode where they're at a

Starting point is 02:09:16 restaurant and she's wearing that ridiculous hat like a fedora or whatever right is that a fedora it was i think so it's like a straw fedora. Wasn't it? No, it was a black hat. It was a black... It was just... It was like some strange thing from 1937. Exactly. It was that page one, you know, I'm going to order a grass

Starting point is 02:09:38 fed burger, see? Make sure that's wrapped in lettuce, see? Yeah. Lettuce wrapped from the Topanga burger joint. I don't know. I know Bravo likes us to watch people order food. I get that.

Starting point is 02:09:53 I know that has to happen in every episode. But did you have to say it's grass-fed? I'm sure that's the only kind of fucking burgers they had. That's placed on Topanga. You don't need to say grass-fed so that you can show everybody how healthy you are yeah and i'm sure yeah just i'm gonna say you just order the burger just say i'll have the burger because not like they say oh we have a grass-fed option and we have

Starting point is 02:10:15 you know shitty beef from costco version which one would you like the non-earth murdering burger please um with the side of better than you yeah the only one i like i like that megan uh the one who well there's things about her like megan is the one who has three kids and really wants a fourth kid but she has a little bit of a sense of humor about herself she she and her husband have i i think kind of a funny relationship There was seen in the episode where the husband made the bed for the daughter. Yeah. And then teared up.

Starting point is 02:10:49 Like, what do you need a tampon? Like, you're like such a chick, but like you could tell that they have like a funny relationship with each other. Yeah. She's the most likable.

Starting point is 02:10:57 But even then I thought she was actually like, I, the last episode I saw, she was my favorite. And then this episode, I thought actually the way she was like sarcastic to her husband who was crying. It was such a sweet moment. And she was being sarcastic.

Starting point is 02:11:12 I was like, you know what? Fuck you too. I know, but I think he likes that. I think he does too. I know. I get it. I think because that's how me and my husband talk to each other all the time. We call each other dumbass and we call each other cut fitness, although the real word.

Starting point is 02:11:28 I mean, we're just always talking to each other that way. And I think they sort of have that sort of funny... They probably do. I think I was in no place to watch it less. I think it was like one in the morning and I just... I think I must have been in a sensitive place. It's like, how could she say that? Listen, I'm not saying it's great. And also it doesn't bode well that she kicked him out of their bedroom and he was sleeping in the other room so that the kid could sleep with her the

Starting point is 02:11:57 whole time. And now she's suddenly feeling magnanimous and like, oh, I'm going to really work on, you know, having having my inviting my husband back in the bedroom like inviting your husband back you know he never should have been out in the first place yeah that's yeah beat that like bernie mac said beat your children i think that's one of the one of the issues i have with this show which gets back to sort of what you were saying before is that there's no way in for me. Like, I don't find these women ridiculous enough to be hilarious, like on Real Houses of Dallas, but I don't find them interesting enough to be engaging. So I'm just looking at them, watching them and like, sort of not caring.

Starting point is 02:12:36 And it is reminding me of like the worst parts of walking down Larchmont Boulevard, or being on Montana Avenue, you know, just seeing really bored, wealthy, entitled women up their own asses, you know, and not in the fun way like what we just saw in New York City. Yeah, I agree. I mean, I was trying to I haven't watched every episode just because I'm not. But I do. I think I thought it was going to be better than it is. I mean, because there's something to it. But I think they didn't know what the show was going to be better than it is. I mean because there's something to it. But I think they didn't know what the show was going to be. So when they chyron all the people on the bottom, it's so ridiculous because it's like their name and then just like how many kids they have. Yeah, that's what they're reduced down to.

Starting point is 02:13:15 Mother of one. Oh, God. That is so sad especially because they have that lady who is in a girl group. Yeah. And she's going to sing again. That's like her storyline. And she has a fear of singing think of the fuck off the stage you're in la there's like a million people here who want to

Starting point is 02:13:29 do that that is like 11 million people here that is such an unrelatable story arc you know like why why am i supposed to feel sympathy for you you're in wild orchid okay yeah you were a pop star and now you're afraid to sing like this this is so so stupid to me in fact the only thing that i found interesting i have to disagree only in the fact that I actually thought she was the more interesting storyline to me because she was talking about the fact that then she had all these kids and you know, it is a thing when you have kids where you sort of put yourself and what you were kind of doing behind and you think like, Oh, I'm just, and I kind of related to her going, and then I think I've been hiding behind

Starting point is 02:14:07 like just being, having kids. And like, that's what I'll do. I'll just have kids. And then, because it's hard to put yourself out there. But what I found was interesting was the whole scene where then she goes to sing and her husband is a dick. He's a musical director.

Starting point is 02:14:22 I mean, she's just like, when was the last time you were around a musical director it's like let's do that again she's like oh my god he's so bossy i i enjoyed that because i felt like you know he is like a really he's a he's a major music producer and i actually was that was the scene i enjoyed the most because i was enjoying watching his process like like the thing his notes and everything i was like that's so fascinating i was more interested in hearing how he directed the band than hearing her art because i get what you're saying like you know that he or she is coming back and reclaiming being a lady in a certain sense not a lady but

Starting point is 02:14:54 you know the thing that she used to the things that she used to be but but unfortunately to me it's just playing like oh my god like i don't know if i can sing again even though i have one of the top music producers in all of the music industry behind me and it's just it didn't there was nothing it didn't feel like a comeback story to me it just felt like someone whining i just love that she walked in and she's like here's my big debut at the Viper Room. And it was like, Stephanie, mother of one. That's what I know. They're all reduced to just how many times they've spawned. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:15:34 Okay, but you know who I just can't stand? My skin crawls is Jen. Jen? I'm calling her Jen the Jew. I want another baby. And so, like, I knew this guy in Austin. Like, I'm going to go there. Maybe ask him for a respect.

Starting point is 02:15:47 He's like a huge rock star. The most interesting. Huge rock star. And his name is Bob. And who is it? Bob Dylan? Like, who's a huge rock star named Bob? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:15:58 Bob's so hot. And then it shows to her father. And it's like, Bob. It's like, oh, creepy. On the nose, editors. I know. That made and it's like, Bob. It's like, oh, creepy. On the nose, editors. I know. That made me laugh out loud, though. I feel like the most interesting part of her entire

Starting point is 02:16:11 story was watching her trying to push a stroller over a bridge in Venice. I was like, that was the most I was engaged. I love her dad. I think he is so hilarious. He's like, why don't you just become a guitarist? You can be guaranteed to get fingered.

Starting point is 02:16:29 Come on, dad. I'm bringing my dad. Cause he's got to babysit the kid and Austin. She had her super Jew friend that met her in Austin. And then they were both trying to like out Jew. I call it Jew and I'm a Jew, but I think it's more of like a New York. Like, yeah, it was a New York. Like the dog both trying to, like, out Jew. I call it Jew, and I'm a Jew. Me too. But I think it's more of, like, a New York.

Starting point is 02:16:46 Yeah, it was a New York, New Jersey. And, like, the dog hair, and it's like, hey, this is my friend. And she's like, hey, it's so great to see you. She's a nice hair. I'm trying to get some hair. I hope it doesn't backfire your face. I'm just here to get some seed. Yeah, I'm going to get seed because I'm hilarious, aren't I?

Starting point is 02:17:06 She's like, are you guys going to do it the natural way? I wish. He's so hot. I wish I could have sex with him. Oh, God. And then when she went back to meet Bob and he's like, oh, hi. Hey, Bob. Hey, Bob.

Starting point is 02:17:21 Hey. Yeah, he's like, how's it going? Bob, hey, Bob, hey. Yeah, he's like, how's it going? You're like, she was, the way she talked about him throughout the episode. I mean, she was closer to that guy, Adam, than she, this guy looked so disinterested in talking to her. I mean, I would be too. Adam was like, I'll go in the bathroom right now and get it for you.

Starting point is 02:17:42 Well, what, what, do that. No, it's just like, I'm closer to Bob. Bye, bye bye she's like giggling he's like okay engaged okay it's so funny john my husband was in the other room and he goes i just heard something that sounded very fake and that was when bob goes uh yeah my fiancee oh you have a fiancee yeah he probably got the heads up from Adam, like a text. Like, by the way, you have all of one minute to come up with an excuse because Jen's heading your way. She lives in England. Oh, Jen's coming for your sperm. And, you know, Jen, who's so close to this guy that she doesn't even know that he has a fiancé, which obviously makes sense because it's not a real fiancé.

Starting point is 02:18:21 Right. She's like, well, one time he even offered me a sperm. When you went to see one of his concerts, he was like, yeah, I'll jerk it on you. You know, he was probably making some disgusting joke. Just because he came in your mouth does not mean that he was offering to give your father a baby. He flew her whole family to Austin. Yeah, that's not the way to do it, by the way. And that's not the time nor the place to approach someone.

Starting point is 02:18:44 I mean, she was doomed to begin with. She is the only one that is entertaining, though. Because every time I see her on the show, I crack up. She's the one who was fighting. You know, she's like, I can't believe that girl said that to me. After she was complaining about whatever, trying to lose the weight from the baby or whatever. And then Beth is like, I'm going to try to help her. Hey, I can help you get into

Starting point is 02:19:05 shape how dare you calling me fat and then she hated her for the rest of the thing and then she went on a date with that loser guy she's like yeah well I'm real excited to go on a date with a guy but like who knows like will he be the one he's like hey let's get wasted

Starting point is 02:19:22 like uh huh alright what about though what about how this is just sad the leah story fedora hat is so sad to me though because she is so over focused on her husband who as as you guys talked about when you or ronnie you did when you took guys talked about the episode he wants nothing to do with her yeah Yeah, he's like visibly wanting to run away. Right. And she's like, let's have a, let's meet with a communications specialist. We really need to talk about our

Starting point is 02:19:51 talking about our, talk about our feelings. Let's have a talk about talking about the time that we're going to talk about our feelings, about communicating. I can't even imagine spending five minutes with her. But then, my favorite was this scene from the show last night when Megan says she wants to have another baby.

Starting point is 02:20:10 And Leah, do you remember when they're having their grass-fed burger? And then she's like, I would never have another baby because I wouldn't do anything that would split my attention from Bill. Oh, God. She's like, I really need to focus

Starting point is 02:20:24 all my attention on Bill. I really like the energy that Bill and I have right now. I don't want to mess up that energy. You mean that energy where you're in your basement getting therapies from some bored weirdo and your husband looks at you like he wants to pack the car and just run the fuck away?

Starting point is 02:20:40 I'm sure Bill would be like, please have another baby. Anything. Take your mind off of a relationship. Have another baby with somebody else in another town, please. I communicated. By the way, there's another woman on the show, and this just came to my attention, and I've seen like four episodes,

Starting point is 02:21:01 that has no stories. Yeah, she's the woman at the playground, right? Yes. Who is this woman? Will you pass the salt and pepper? Do you want my sperm? Who does that? Thanks for showing up to work today, Rando. Who is this random chick?

Starting point is 02:21:18 I was noticing her, but she's in the thing because with the Sleepy Planet lady, Jill Spivak or whatever, goes around and they chyroned her, lady jill spivak or whatever goes around and they chironed her alissa mother of two or whatever and then but you never ever there's no confessional there's no story from her but then she was also at the playground yeah with the mom when they were talking about organics or whatever no it'll be organic though i thought that was the yeah that was the car that was leah in the car with the kids. Yeah, that was the car.

Starting point is 02:21:45 That was Leah in the car and the kids are like, is cereal from the earth? No, it's not from the earth. It's bad for you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some food is made in a factory like Jen's baby will be.

Starting point is 02:21:56 You're not hanging out with that baby and you're not eating Raisin Bran. Oh, my God. Leah, in many ways, Leah represents the worst of L right yes yes every all the stereotypes of the city they all just come together and hurt like you go to the farmer's market you see her there and she's got kids probably running around like like banshees um doing all he said like i have to stay in shape for my husband i'm not gonna get fat for my husband like he'll start he'll

Starting point is 02:22:24 leave like she didn't understand people gaining weight she's like no you don't eat until you are you lose weight again and then when they looked at her like she was crazy she was like uh really like she didn't understand like you don't stay hot like and i understand like you you stay i don't think it's a terrible point that you try and keep in shape for each other when you're married. But it just sounded so creepy. The thing that makes me sad about her is she is very L.A. She's like, I'm a hippie and I'm this. But she's not. She's like the most anal one.

Starting point is 02:22:57 You know, she's like Shelley Long playing a hippie. It doesn't work. But then at the same time, I believe that her emotions are real. And I'm like, this girl hates her life, hates her mother, probably hates her child. Thinks her husband's about to divorce her. She's about to sob at all times. She's working way too hard. So I feel for her because I don't even know.

Starting point is 02:23:15 It's like I think she's being real even though she's being kind of a fake asshole. She has a fake religion, Ronnie. She's doing, you know, her whole Nam-myoho-renge-kyo? Yeah. What is that? It's a fake Buddhism. She's like, I'm a Buddhist. fake religion ronnie she's doing she you know that her whole nam-myoho-renge-kyo yeah what is that it's a fake buddhism you know she's like i'm a buddhist yeah okay so nam-myoho-renge-kyo which oh that's a real that's i thought you were just jules's middleman i thought you were like making gibberish up like as an example of what it's called it's really called so when i first moved to los ang Angeles, it was all the rage.

Starting point is 02:23:46 And I went to a meeting. It's a long story. What's it called again? It's Buddhism, but it's a form of Buddhism that's not real Buddhism. It's fake Buddhism. It's called Namyoho Rengekyo. Well, the chant. It's Benihana Buddhism.

Starting point is 02:24:01 It sounded like you were speaking backwards. I can't remember exactly what it's called. Nya Nya Nya Nya. Nya Nya Nya Nya. Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya N and I went to a meeting. I actually wrote about it in a book because it was such a crazy experience. So a bunch of people I met when I was like 19 were doing this Nam-myoho-renge-kyo thing. So it's not Buddhism. It's not spiritual.

Starting point is 02:24:35 It's what you do is you chant. It's like the secret. Like you chant and you try to, because you want to get a car or like a new job. It's like in that Judd apatow show love right where they where she meets where she goes that service right yes yes so they they all chant and the whole thing is that you're chanting to get your needs or to get yourself aligned

Starting point is 02:25:00 with the universe so that you can practice basically the law of attraction it's like the secret so that you can get the things you want but it's not basically for me the secret was basically about getting a better parking space like sometimes i'll still do it because that's what even one of the examples in the secret they're like imagine getting a space right in front and then when i do i'm like i win so a handicapped person can't park for 10 minutes they can wait i've only i've only been able to use the secret effectively when I've been at Ralph's and I've secreted a song coming on. Like for some reason, I once was there and I was thinking about that Brian Adams song. It's like, can't stop this thing.

Starting point is 02:25:38 We started. I was like, I haven't heard that song in 20 years. And I swear to God, 30 seconds later, it came on. I was like, whoa, I just used the secret brian adams i just used it for this nice should use it for my career but i'll take brian adams i'm gonna write a sequel the secret aim higher so it's like a bullshit religion you know it's a bullshit religion and she's acts like and there was that scene where she was doing her like sitting um not indian style but you know like she's doing a yoga pose with her hands and like a like a Zen thing and going Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and then banging a little gong. And I was like, oh, God, that is so it's it's like Kabbalah or any of those things that are, you know, like a fake.

Starting point is 02:26:21 The red string around your the red string around your wrist. It reminds me of uh ab fab dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung dung what are you doing you know what you know what this show really needs actually um and bravo would never do it because bravo's all about having really wealthy people on it but it needs someone like like working class on there so that you can see a contrast. I mean, I guess that's the implication, you know, that most of the people who are watching are probably working class or like middle class, etc. They don't look that rich to me.

Starting point is 02:26:53 But they're wealthy. You know, they're all like wealthy white people, you know. And I think that maybe this show would have benefited from a little point-counterpoint situation. I don't know. I think all these shows should have poor people. And I think Dallas is a perfect example of that. I've always maintained that there should be a Real Housewives of Encino and just pick the biggest ridiculous personalities and show the real stuff that people go through.

Starting point is 02:27:20 Well, the thing is this. I feel like with certain shows, like Beverly Hills, New York, you don't want poor people on that because there's a little bit of escapism that goes along with that. There's something aspirational, and yet there's also that fun of tearing them down. But with a show like this, with women who aren't super wealthy, but they have money, but they're kind of like blah, I kind of would want someone who would serve as an extreme contrast to them. If you think about it, Bravo actually does always put one poor person on. This is like the first time they've broken that mold. Because housewives, Bethany was a poor one.

Starting point is 02:27:54 She didn't have shit. She was trying. And then Brandy Glanville was a poor one. And a lot of them have that poor one. But usually they'll try and make it like the younger poor one so in case they don't hate her for being poor they can hate her for being young yeah i just think that with this show you know it's always a risk with bravo when you're when you're profiling really wealthy people it's a risk that you're going to cross the line from being hilarious, like social rubbernecking.

Starting point is 02:28:29 It's a risk you'll go from there and cross the line into being just insufferable. And I think this show just skyrockets into the insufferable territory. Yeah, sadly I agree. I had high hopes for it. Well, I like it okay. I wouldn't probably watch it every day. Most of the reason I fight for it is because it was this or Tour Group. And I was like, no!

Starting point is 02:28:50 I like Tour Group more. I cannot watch both Below Deck and Tour Group. Or I'll poke my own eyes out. Like if I can watch one that is at least kind of fun. But now we don't have to watch either one of them. Suckers! Tour Group, at the very least, you get to see cool you know there's some eye candy i i enjoyed enjoyed tour group and at least there's that ridiculous woman michelle on there who who screams and you know there's like potential for

Starting point is 02:29:14 some real hilarious stuff in there um that sometimes comes to fruition but with this to me this is just like generic shit and the truth is, maybe we should just be sticking to Real Housewives of New York City and Below Deck. And that's enough. Why bother with this middling crap? Yeah, exactly. I don't think anyone listens anyway. I think they probably turn it off right after the show that they watch. I know.

Starting point is 02:29:39 It's no good covering a show that no one's watching. What the hell? Yeah, that's true too. Well, this was so fun. Can we skip Below Deck for today? I think we're almost at three hours. Oh, jeez. Oh my goodness. Yeah, we're at like two hours and 40

Starting point is 02:29:54 minutes or so, I believe. Let's skip that shit. Well, if you guys want to do Below Deck, I can let you go. I can let you go on. Well, I was just going to close it out. What do you think, Bean? Sure, we'll close it out What do you think Bean? Sure we'll close it out I guess we'll just We'll recap Below Deck Mediterranean

Starting point is 02:30:10 Next week Below Deck there was a lot of doc drama And people got mad because other people Weren't following the rules Well Bobby started yelling at Danny a lot And he spent about half the episode being like Be quiet boy! Be quiet boy! I was like,

Starting point is 02:30:25 this makes me feel uncomfortable. Pretty much. And some people from Oklahoma had a threesome in the hot tub. Yeah, and there was fighting and Hannah is mad at Danny now and Danny was obnoxious to Hannah. It was actually a really,

Starting point is 02:30:40 really entertaining episode. Well, next week we can have a double below deck. Yeah, we'll go below deck. Stephanie Wilder-Taylor. Thanks, you guys. People can find you on the For Crying Out Loud podcast with Lynette Carolla. And where else do you want them to find you?

Starting point is 02:30:57 What's your Twitter? Oh, at S. Wilder-Taylor. And also, what are your books? Like where can people find your stuff on Amazon and stuff? Just search your name. Well, I have parenting books. Where can people find your stuff on Amazon and stuff? Just search your name? Well, I have parenting books. Just Stephanie Wilder Taylor. Look it up on Amazon. I have five books.

Starting point is 02:31:12 And one called It's Not Me, It's You has the Nam-myoho-renge-kyo story in it, which is pretty funny. I still can't believe that that's not gibberish, what you're saying. Well, you guys, check her out. Thank you're saying. I know. You guys check her out. Thank you so much for joining us.

Starting point is 02:31:26 I love talking to you. I love talking to you too. And Ronnie, you and I are going to talk later. Yeah, we will. Yeah, we will. All right. Well, thanks, guys. Thanks for coming on.

Starting point is 02:31:35 And thanks, everyone, for listening. You can come to watchforcrappins.com to find our social media links. Go to facebook.com forward slash watchforcrappins. Like us there to join in our community. Go to patreon.com forward slash watchforCrabbins. Like us there to join in our community. Go to Patreon.com forward slash WatcherCrabbins to support us. And on June 9th, we are having our 300th episode party, which Stephanie, hopefully, will be able to make it to. I would love to.

Starting point is 02:31:55 Yes, please. It's at Revolver. At Revolver. Revolver and WeHo. So everything's going down there. Everything. So thanks, everyone everyone once again. And we'll talk to you all

Starting point is 02:32:07 next week for episode 299. Bye! today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

Watch What Crappens - #298: Welcome to the Berserk-shires (Special Guest: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor)

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