Watch What Crappens - #2981 Below Deck S12E13: Derby or Not Derby

Episode Date: August 26, 2025

Jess is very distracted on the latest Below Deck after a cancer survivor comes on board. Also, Rainbeau loses her mind. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much than crappins. Hello and welcome. to watchwood crappins a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about i'm ben and laker and joining me today is the one and only the wonderful and beautiful and fantastic and special ronnie caram ron hello benoons how you doing today i am doing just great

we have so much to to get into over the course the next few days in this podcast because today we're doing below deck we've got some make me dynasty coming up we are going to be on our patreon patreon.com slash watch for crapans big bonus episode action is going to be happening because we will be doing our uh recap take on the love island reunion which was quite quite exciting and uh we got a long it was quite long and crackers if i have to hear stand on business one more fucking time and guess what none of them did stand on business my God, you bunch of wussy ass. I can't wait to talk about that today.

Here's what 95% that reunion was. It was Huda saying, oh, my God. I mean, like, I fucking love. I fucking love her. I fucking love her. And I'm so proud of what you're doing. And like, I fucking love you. And like, I thought about a lot.

And I was fucking angry. But like, I fucking love you. And I'm just like so proud of you, bro. I'm just so proud of you. I'm just so proud of you. I fucking love you, bro. Who do I have to say, what a sicko that woman is. Like, really?

There were so many moments at the season where you cheer for her, you know? It's like she's getting better. And now she's being, you know, they're being mean to her and stuff. So I went through so many emotions with Huda through the whole season. But this one, oh my God. They're like, they're like, Huda, you know, we deserve an apology. She's like, okay, I forgive you. Like, what?

And she's like, but you're the one who is like liking posts with my face on George Floyd's body. Like, what are you doing? And she's like, I forgive you. It's okay. I love you. I love you. I was like, this woman's psycho. This woman is a psychopath.

I would comment more on Huda, but unfortunately, legal tells me I'm not allowed to. In the Netflix thing, sorry, Ronnie. Netflix is like, can't comment on that. You better do your below deck recap. You're both getting sued. Yeah, so we haven't recorded that yet, but that's going to be an undertaking and we're excited for it. Also, some fun stuff. Ronnie and I, you know, I don't know if anyone in the audience has ever seen beavers, but we are two beavers, busy beavers, if you will.

because we've been making some rounds. Ronnie was on two judgey girls last week. I was then on episodes that they released yesterday and today. I was also today, I believe, airing today, Rachel Lindsay's podcast, the morally corrupt with Rachel Lindsay. We love Rachel Lindsay. We're definitely going to have to have her on to Crappy Hour. I was able to guess on that.

And then later this week, I will also be on Keep It. So go support women who support other women, okay? Go listen to those podcasts and give them a listen. Give them a subscribe and join their fan bases, et cetera. So thanks to everyone who's been having both of us on to their shows. Yes, good times. I mean, those judgy girls are classy. They're classy girls.

Like, they sent a thank you thing, which we never do when people guest with us. But they sent me a thank you thing with my two judgy girls hat. Okay, so I have this now. Two judgy girls. I'm going to wear it everywhere to go to find other judges out in the wild. The judges? The judges. Tamara Judges.

They have their own candy. Like, they took a sour patch and they made their own rapper that says two judgy girls. Like, it's full on. Obviously, I didn't really realize it. I ripped into it. I was so excited to get sour patch kids. And they just put the sour patch kids in their own packaging.

I mean, that's some classy shit. You know what you get when you guessed on our show? Maybe a thank you text. We're like, thank you. We're going to up our game now. Wow. Okay. Yeah.

I want my own thing of Eminem's. Yeah, we had a lot of fun on all those shows, so go check those out. But today is Below Deck Day and it was a very exciting episode because it was another episode where, uh, where good old, uh, Jess had to deal with the consequences of her actions. Yeah, I am having to deal with the consequences of my actions. I'll bring up family cancer because there's a cancer person on boat to get out of the wait a minute

that's the consequences of my actions Buck and Jess and Fraser I will not stand for this one more second I will tell Salane every dirty thing

I've ever thought Saline darling could you please clean more thank you you tell her you tell her Fraser he really lay down

the law he really lay down the law We laid down the Jude law. And it was just like, hello, can I have a talk? Yeah, so below down. Don't do that. Yeah. Blue that.

12, episode 13, talk derby to me. You know, this, they dress like horses and run around like they're in a derby. And I thought, could you not do that last week when you guys were stuck on the boat with those cheapos? Oh, by the way, I found out what restaurants that guy, when he's like, sorry we didn't tip you, but we're in hospitality. Cudoba. Yeah. And Dave's like to do you don't get to brag about. being in hospitality when you own some kudobas sir okay because i've seen the hospitality at kudoba

and i don't even think they let me have free refills on my diet coke over there with the self-serve machine if i recall correctly do they even allow their servers to get tipped but i haven't been to a kudoba but like i haven't been to davis hot chicken in a while but like do they have it if you buy it from dave's hot chicken that there's like a thing where you can say enter in a tip like so here you is talking about like hospitality and like do they actually provide the avenues for people to give gratuity to their employees yeah he's like i know how yacht service could be because i have a kutaba so okay i have a restaurant that shin and she and she went to once in wescavina okay so i understand hospitality yeah but also you yeah you can probably tip because

they want tips now for like literally every single thing like i bought what did i buy i went to the tailor okay the tailor to get my pants clipped or whatever to get my pants circumcised and they have a tip thing in that. I'm like, but I'm paying you to do the thing. You want to tip? You're the one doing the thing. It's already 30 bucks a pair. So tip him.

And then what's the other thing I went to the other day that they were like? I mean, I went to the doctor. I went to the mountains. The mountains. I climbed a mountain and the mountain was like, are you going to tip this mountain? Or even when you order DoorDash now, you tip, obviously you tip the DoorDash person. That's normal. But now they have a thing that says, would you like to give $5 to the restaurant?

No. They're already up charging me 30% to order from the restaurant in the first place. And now the restaurant wants a tip on top of the waiter. Go fuck yourself. Okay. This is getting out of control. And I'm a waiter. I believe in tips. But not for the car, you know, not for everything. Like I just did your oil. I did your oil change you want a tip?

No, I paid you to do the oil. Yeah. Let me keep my money. Especially when the tipping doesn't seem to have any sort of impact in quality of service. I'd like to add in what kind of the quality like I think the idea is that like

it's to motivate people to provide better service to be better employees that like better public facing employees so that way you get a tip but like people don't act like that necessarily

and then you still have to tip them you know I would I still do tip them you know I feel like they're tricking me into like sounding like a boomer like oh tipping tipping because of course

I believe in tipping culture I've made my living off tipping culture, but not for every little thing, you guys, come on, stop it now. I tip the things that are classically, things that you tip.

Like, what I don't, like, I feel like if you get, um, takeout, if you go to a restaurant get takeout,

that's not supposed to be a tip, right, right? Like, like, well, I tip them. I still, I still tip them just not like,

you know, maybe not 30% or whatever I would not. I mean, I, I tip, like usually anytime it shows up because I just feel guilty, but I feel like,

I get mad. that I think there's things that are not not yeah I tip whenever it comes up to I complain about it to you but if there's someone it's like the street sweeper passes by and he's like are you going to give me a tip I'm like sure here you go I'm never going to say no because I feel like that's terrible karma and like if that's what we do now that's what yeah it's just like some things you know it's like a person it's like it's like the 7-11 do you have to tip the 7-11 next like come on leave me alone just leave me let me keep my damn money you guys everything's so expensive anyway by the way join our patreon okay so i'm about to say we're talking about like tip jars my supercritical opening to the show

so anyway talk derby to me um so for those of you who forgot kyle stuck his wiener into a lady from mob wives and then went around bragging about it and getting shit face to the point where he's like shaky and meth looking and still has a red nose two days later so that's where we're at with kyle and it's sad uh it's it's not only sad it's also like not terribly interesting at this point either it's just kind of like he's just drunk and he's annoying and so rainbow has pulled him aside and she's she's basically like you're making a lot of self-destructive decisions and call's like here i know i know i am and who goes like you're going down a path that you don't need to to go on. And as your supervisor, I'm going to do absolutely nothing about it.

Well, I know, but I'm not looking for a lecture. I understand. These are the consequences of my actions I've heard. Oh, wait a minute. Did someone say consequences? So, Demos, like, his job's at stake. The reputation of the captain of the boat is it's sake. Who's going to tip the captain? That's on him. Grow up. You're an adult. You're an adult. So Demos, over it, you guys. And I like Rainbow. She's just like, listen to you're being really self-destructive. If you want to hit somebody, hit my sisters. I know.

Yeah. So then they like go to party and everything and demo, Damon and Rainbow are being sort of flirtatious. I'm like, guys, it's episode, it's like episode 45. There's not much time left. You guys got a hook up or whatever. So he's like, oh, you're grabbing my ass. She goes, no, no, must be someone else.

She goes, no, I generally don't think it is because like I would love to grab your arm. sometimes if it's a like I would actually choose arm over ass so it's like what like uh rainbow he's trying to flirt with you can you uh try to flirt back she does try not me yeah she does try but damo is kind of like he's like a tray of crispy tuna appetizers that have like been passed around already to the whole party and you know how it's like really hard to get those with your fingers and so everybody's kind of touched every other piece on the thing with part of their finger because they're just trying to get in there and then by the time it gets to you it's just you know there's like fingerprints and like other DNA all over it like no one wants the last

crispy tuna and i feel like damos the last crispy tuna you know like you should have served yourself earlier because right now you're really slimy and gross and i'm really in it just for the rice part anyway get out of here damo you disgusting hooker of a man uh that being said i've never turned down the crispy rice uh tuna appetizing i have eaten the last bite of crispy tuna so many times. But of course, I also strategically place myself where the caterers come out. And so I usually get them when they are fresh as well. I have been the caterer.

So I walk away and I'm like, no one wanted this last piece of crispy tuna or eat it. Like somehow I was the one who always made it back with at least like one or two pieces left on the tray. I'm like, whoops, I'm the one that cater waiter always gives that weird look to because they know that they can like, they can come to me and I'll finish off. their tray those come up to me and they give that look they go uh-huh they do that nod like you want it huh you want it they're like peddling drugs they get so happy they get so happy because they know they've got your number and like you're the one you're the one I'm going to go to like one more egg roll you want this and I'm like well I really have to save some space and they do that nod again like like we know you're going to eat it I'm like well I guess I will

have it you know you want it and actually you're our biggest help because when we go out there if you go back to the kitchen and you still have stuff on there they're like Bonnie could maybe stop talking so much and actually do your job. So you look bad if you walk back with stuff left on your tray. So it's good to know the bends. The bends in the rod. They are they, I mean,

I make my, I don't know how they know like to always come to me. I wonder if it's because when they come by with like their Spanacobitas, I take like three at a time and I say, hold on, hold on, hold on. And you start pulling out paper towels from your pocket. You're like, okay, I got this. Some zip locks.

That's the guy. Also, you're not very subtle, I have to say. I've been with you at tray passing things, and you really, you do this thing when you get excited. I don't know how to explain it, but like you stand up differently and you start moving around a little bit. Like a chicken. Yeah, you start doing this thing with your head where you're like pretending you're looking around, but you're really not. It's like pretty obvious. You're like a buoy and a water, and the water just started getting rumbly.

And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, there's an appetizers here. Where's that appetizer? I get very. When you get happy, you really do do that. I get into survival mode. I get into survival mode. I'm like, if I don't get that appetizer, I may never get an appetizer. I may never get an hors d'oeuvre.

And like, they're not coming over here. Why are they not coming over here? Like, they're not doing their job properly. They need to come over here. Like, we're part of the party. Why are we not being included? Why are we not part of this party? Like, are we lesser than?

Are we not part? Are we not important? Yeah. So Kyle is, let's see. So, Kyle's upset because he's being lectured by everybody. But rightfully so, because I don't think Carl has really even truly sobered up because he's just been wasted. Now he's wasted again. And so Anthony and Kyle, and also he's just been mean to Fraser in front of everybody, right?

So now they're at the bar. He's with Anthony. And he's like, I'm out. I'm doing. Fraser doesn't even like me now. So he's like, oh, I love you. Don't worry. You know, I never argue with Fraser.

We argue all the time. You think I never argue? I do it all. the time with Fraser. You want a towel? You throw a towel. It feels really good. So I was like, I'm fucking hurt and pissed off. And now fucking phrases pissed off with me. I'll probably fucking ruin that friendship there. And I was just kind of taking the piss. So I feel really disappointed myself. Okay, two things. You can't keep saying you're taking the piss. Okay. It's it's like you cannot do you cannot act like an asshole and be a dick and be stupid and irresponsible. And then just

be like, oh, it's just taking the piss. No, it's over. Like, it's too much. And also, you can't act like a dick and an asshole and irresponsible and then act like a victim afterwards and say, oh, wow, now Frazier's pissed in me. I'm like, yeah, because you're being dumb. Stop acting like that and people won't be mad at you. Like, I'm not going to feel sad for you because you got wasted again and you went after someone who was trying to help you. Like, I'm sorry. I'm just not going to feel that. Yeah, I won't go as far as to say Fraser was trying to help him, but I agree with you. like you you publicly like you tried to start with him at a dinner overstatement yeah but i said help him as in like like as in like be friendly with him

that's what i really meant like someone yeah yeah sort of sort of on his side at least yeah you had someone who was listen fraser loves to go tattletail on people so the fact that he made someone else do it for him was i thought pretty like for fraser that's an olive branch i think Fraser's like, I'm sick of being villainized. So he did, you know, he's just done that whole thing. So then Hugo pulls aside Fraser and he's like, someone in my team is catastrophically spiraling into his own abyss. I think you can see that.

Okay, you're not really wrong, but that's your job as a head of department. And also stop being a dick to everybody on the boat. Hugo really lost me this past couple of up. I mean, he never really had me. But he's been really. he's been really shitty and yeah it's like it's your job kind of had me because he was like a jehovah's witness like he grew up as a jehovah's witness and he left the church and part of me is just so thankful that he's not going to be knocking on my door because listen as Christians we had to do that as kids too

like my dad made us do that and it was horrifying and then whenever somebody did it to me I was like this is how people feel when we do it and I have to leave I have to leave the church so like I kind of got him in that and I was also so thankful that no one was loitering at my house So he kind of had me in that way. But then he lost me. Yeah, yeah. I mean, hand the man some pamphlets because, like, I'm sick of listening to him. Yeah, yeah, I'm done with Hugo as well.

So he goes and he's trying to get Fraser to basically fix this. And Fraser is like, he's like, well, you know, he's not himself because he's been told by captain that he can't assimilate with guests. But I know him. He's got an amazing heart. And tonight he was an idiot. Also, not only does he have an amazing heart. He also has very black lungs. I'm very concerned about him.

But I also know that there are reasons for that. He has an amazing heart. His kidneys are on crutches. But his heart's doing great. The liver looks a bit like Swiss cheese. Probably smells like that too. He actually should take some piss and put it in his own body because his own, he's coming out as refined oil.

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to watch Nick Cannon at night or subscribe on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad-free? have free join wondering plus right now so then you go and fraser go to kyle sitting on the sofa and and car's like i'm sorry by the way i'm fucking sorry man the idea of hurting you the idea of being incorrect and how i'm saying things and now fraser's being conciliatory's like it happens you know i know i know it does but that's hidden me to pieces

like sorry bro you just did this five seconds ago like i don't know i just don't have any patience for this like you're too old to do this or at least your faces yeah i um yeah the drunken crying is not my favorite with him but you like also like i don't know but like you also like attacked your friend in front of everyone and now he has to come and he has to console you because you feel bad about how you acted i'm sorry like if you he's sitting here saying he's really Yeah, he really is. And like, he's sitting here acting. He's like, I can't talk about this anymore. Netflix. But, um, like, you're sitting here talking about how you feel bad about Fraser, but you don't actually get up and do anything and go over to him and apologize. He has to come over to you. I'm sorry. Like, this guy's a dip shit. It's official. Yeah. I'm afraid so it's like, you're a beautiful, beautiful human being. I love you, man. I love you, but. So then it's time to go back to the yacht. Jess and Barbara making out, more, which also I'm kind of sick of. Like, great, you're happy, okay?

Go be happy behind closed doors. You know, everyone's always telling gay people, do what you want in your own bedroom, but I don't want to hear about it. Well, you know, I feel that, well, I guess they are gay, so I shouldn't say that. But I feel that way with people who are in, like, love, you know? Like, I'm so glad you guys are in love. Save it for Facebook.

You know what I mean? Save it for your yearly. Oh, my God, and I married my best friend. Save it for that post, because, like, I'm a little. literally sick of it. I'm busy. I'm just I'm just sick of honestly below deck like ogling at all these people making out. Like we get it. They're making out. I just too much. Just too much. Like I want to put it on the work. Don't make out next to me in a car. It's just like we're supposed to care about this like look at this crew. They're so messy. They're all making out with each other. And I'm like that's fine. I'll take some of that. But like do we have to center it on this show? Let's let's center the windex. Let's center the windex. Let's center the. bad work ethic let's center like the rags and and like the wiping down the toilet like that's what i'm here for yeah me too i'm not here to watch maids make out especially like right next to me i mean we can say a lot about kyle but at least he's fucking someone in the bathroom like that's a person with manners you're right you're right you're right so then rainbow starts making out with

Damo, which I don't know why anybody would make out with Damo, because that guy's nasty. And she does. And she's like, if you want to know how Damo kiss is, make out with a fish. Because, you know, it's like really wet. Yeah, make out with a fish. So. Yeah. And then Kyle's the lens, I think. Does she like it? You know, she's horny. She's horny. She's horny. It's, it's, she's had a tough season. She's all horned up. And then speaking of horny, Kyle and Salen, so now, even though they've been both shitty to each other. They also have isolated everyone around them. So they just have each other to sleep with now. So that's what they're going to do. Cause like, can we just fuck? She goes,

shut up. And, um, but they are going to go ultimately and have sex. Yeah. So Hugo is like, is it a problem with Jess and Barbara? And so then goes, oh, well, you know, you fucked with me. You messed up with me, you know. And Fraser says, well, when you left Stilly to go with Jess without telling him and like trying to figure out Salane's love Rombus or whatever we're calling it. And Kyle's like, basically they're calling her out for jumping from person to person and hurting everyone's feelings. And then going back to the original one, which is Kyle. And also she's acting mad at like Jess. She's like, oh my God, like I can't, I'm so mad at just because like, oh, so you just like, you mess with me. you just leave me and you just go to Barbara Barbara and he's like but yes but you did that with

Steeley for Jess she's like no no no no no no no it's not about you guys no it's not that so they basically busted so then they get back to the yacht and um jess asked rainbow if um if she can have Barbara over in the cabin and then Rambo goes to sleep in the crew mess and then Kyle and Lane, go to sleep in the guest cabin, and it's another night of the crew that comes to an end. Yes, and now it's 32 hours until Charter the next morning. And Jess is like, what did you do last night that I don't know of Rainbow? And she's like, oh my God, I made out with Damo in the back of an Uber. It was amazing.

I've already sent my sister a closed fist in the mail and said, stay the fuck away from my man bitch or you're getting a piece of this okay you know the last thing i wanted was like for damo to show up and be like coming to bed with me and i'd be like no because your bed is a gross place like i don't want to be there oh my god i love being in a showman's so then um kyle calls his mom because it's like he always has to call his mom or his grandma for them to say don't worry you're still a good little boy so she's like but i love you that they all know his they all have his number immediately off the back. I see, I got drunk and acted like a goddamn

fucking idiotic again, Kyle. I've not really done anything. I just drank. They're all fucking winding me up about drinking, and I did have a lot of drink last night, so that did happen. Ah, let me get it. Say you're drinking too much, saying stuff that you shouldn't be saying, did you fuck another goat in the stables again?

It was a girl in the bathroom. Ah, Kyle. Well, at least you're growing. You're growing. At least the goat was safe this time. The McGillicotties are still very upset with you. Mama can't take it from you too. So then we see him, his arms crossed in his interview again, and he's like sort of like doing the thing

where he's scratching his nose, the side of his nose with his thumb and looking down at like the floor. And he's like, well, as much as my knight ended great, I'm definitely not happy with how I've been in recently. And I really thought I was better than this, but I'm not. So I really do need to change. And I'll change by changing brands of

of scotch, that's what I'll do. I think with a different planned, I'll be it better. That's it. So, Damos, he's rainbow, and he's like, where do you sleep last night? Please stop doing the fish thing. You know, more fish phase. I knew I should have gone on an Easter egg hunt

and looked for more little rain beer. So then, dun, done, done, done, done, done, big news. The wings, the wings. station controller will be delivered shortly to fix it about the parts here. Captain Captain Marina, Captain Captain Marina, hi, this is the Marina attendant. Your wing controllers on the way is done. Adventure. All right, the parts here. If it works, this guy here's going to be a happy little Vigemite. All right.

Doesn't really make sense because Vigemite is just like a spread you put on toast, so It's weird to assign any sort of emotional state to that Vegemite, but I did it because I'm on a verbal adventure, but I haven't seen it yet. The park could be wrong. It might be programmed properly. It might be a shark. Who knows what it is.

But if that happens, we've got much bigger problems ahead of us. We can't run a charter season from the dock, especially if we've installed a shark onto our yacht. Shark. So now Zudec wash up time. And he goes like, wow, my guy, Damo, I had front seats to your makeout session in the car. Wow, wow, great times. And Damo's like, did it look as bad as I remember it feeling?

I just don't really think anyone's a bad kisser. I just think that sometimes two people don't have the same styles. You know what I mean? I like to really get my lips wet. And then I like to chill them a bit, like the room of a martini glass, you know? And just like kind of ice them up. I like a coat. Then I point my hair.

tongue kind of like a stick and i like to wetly poke the other person's face you know not everyone's really into that he goes like yeah and he's like but the good part is my Brazilian girlfriend taught me how to kiss so i've always taken that with me and uh like i don't remember if they gave him a but i feel like they did since rainbow said he kissed like a fish yeah and it seems like he knows it because he actually I was just kind of kidding about his lines that he said but now that I look at it there's someone in the world that likes the pointy tonguey windmilly swish-wish swish-wash like it's fucking horrible and somebody's got to like the fish as well so he knows he kisses like that I guess so but then they start talking about uh well I'm sorry but he blames it on his

brazil he says he has a Brazilian girlfriend that taught him to kiss like that but I've kissed plenty of brazilian people and they do not kiss like they're actually very good kissers i mean in my in my experience have i just experienced it wrong did i miss the chilled tongue poking me in the face maybe you like a fish kiss i don't know i don't think i don't think that dama realizes that he's the fish i think he's just saying oh you think he's saying that she's and i think she's that yeah i think he's actually bragging he's like i was taught by a brazilian how to kiss so that's like, like I know. I think he's sort of saying, like, you have always taken that with me because I learned

from a Brazilian, you know? Oh, so some people kiss like fish and some people don't, but he's saying that she's the one that kisses like a fish? I think that's the implication because I think he definitely got like some sort of on that one. Well, they definitely, you could tell it was a bad kiss as they were kissing because it was uncomfortable to watch, you know, it really was like, ooh, that looks like a cold kiss, like literally cold.

It was, yeah, I didn't look good. So then they talk about stilly and so-so sleeping and that's fun. And then it's the morning and then like later on, it's like 10.30 a.m. And it's like the guests will be arriving in two hours. And Salane is just eating cereal. And Rainbow is now just, she's given up trying to be like a productive coworker. She's now just like a tattle tailor. So she's like, um, she goes up to Fraser and she's like, hey, uh, Fraser, uh, did you tell

Salane, she could have her breakfast break early. He's like, no, she's having breakfast. Yeah, she's sitting in the crew mass, eating a bowl of cereal. I think it was special. Okay, it could have been corn flakes. I don't know. I will do more reporting later. Did you say she could eat corn flakes? Because is there a cornflakes exception? She's eating

corn flakes. I'm actually pretty sure it's corn flakes. And she's chatting with Barbara, too, who's folding clothes. Yeah, all sorts of clothes. Big clothes, little clothes. I can paint the whole picture for you, Frazier. He's like, okay, thank you. It's another day in paradise. I will absolutely go reprimend. Santa right now. Watch everyone.

Watch and learn. You're about to get the failure. Solane. We're not doing breakfast break. Oh, wow. That was rough. Rough on her. Do you need a tissue to wipe away the tears from that vulgar lashing you just received from me? And Rainbow's like, fuck.

Fuck, fuck Solane, bro. The worst type of person. The worst type of person. Fiber in the morning. Stupid bitch. Watching Rainbow just incrementally get more angry is so hilarious. Because like really for Saline, Saline, I don't think anybody's going to give Saline like worker of the year. But like we've seen Saline improve.

Like she's learned how to do things. So it's the worst that she's eating a bowl. Not saying that her eating the cereal is right or anything. It's just funny watching Rainbow gets so mad. She's just pushed to the point now where she's just like, I saw that girl put something on. the hangar, put it on the thing when she was supposed to be holding an eye. Fraser, just get rid of that bitch before I beat her. She hates her so much, like just so much. So I personally

love Rainbow being at this point, just being just totally infuriated. So this is a rainbow I need. Yeah, like I don't normally love someone who's just so tattily, but I also feel like she's earned it. She's earned the tattels. She's had to deal with Solane for so long. So now the nameless crew workers are putting on this, they're working on this control station. Let's see if this power works. And then Jess is talking to Solane because Salain, Saline wants to talk with Jess to clear the air finally. So Slane's like, so I think it is time to talk. Like we had, we had like something and like now you're like okay just and like you like you take a barbara on a date and like at the same night you sleep with her in the bed you sleep with barbara in the bed and it was not

good it was not fair as for me and for barbara like maybe i was just embarrassed about the consequences of reactions i said why you tried to hide me she goes well i didn't want to make it a big thing and for me to avoid it i think it was just easier to avoid it um so i didn't avoid you intentionally, I invited you on purpose. Does that make any sense? So, yeah, so you're like a coward? You're a coward, huh? She doesn't owe you a deep relationship, talk, Celine. I'm sorry. You've set up a whole thing where you're going to make out with everybody and have no strings with anybody. And if anybody gets upset with you, you say, well, but this is love. This is how I do. So this is just me. And then the second

it happens to you, you act like Christ on a cross. Okay. Sorry. Nobody is going to feel for you, Love Island. Sorry. No one. No one. Especially when you were just going to use that girl and throw her away anyway. I mean, give me a break. You had one conversation with your brother where you're like, oh my God, I'm never into girl, but this is good. So maybe I do girl. Like, you're doing your like whole like, oh, I'm experimenting with a girl for five seconds before I dump her and go fuck stilly again. Like, shut up, Salane. And I really like Salain, but I'm going to feel for you either this whole crew is full of people that I actually like I kind of like everybody on the show but I'm not gonna feel sorry for them because our actions

are also stupid like it's the team that like wants to sit there and cry about their consequences sorry sorry yeah I'm I'm I'm over it really so meanwhile Kerry is trying out the new machinery and all right oh I don't want potistan put a stand puttistan board starboard starboard put puttiston port port port Stern portboard, sawboard, starboard, saw, bow, bow, bow, a saw, a C, okay. And, uh, that chat, it works. It works. All right.

Good job, everyone. Position, position. I was last two feet away. Two feet. We're going to die. We're going to drive. We're right there. We're always going to enjoy.

We're sinking. We did it. We did it. Also, my son, half parallel parked. He half parallel parked. He'll get there. I believe in him. Hold on. Let me get to my wife, wife, wife, Carrie. Wife, wife, Carrie. Hi. Hi, honey. You're doing all right? I really don't care. I don't have time. I just got the boat out of the dock. Please have our son put the keys in the ball. Remind him to put the keys in the ball. All right. I'll see you in six months.

All right, chop, chop, everyone. Time for one of these deranged preference sheet meetings where we split up half the crew into different rooms and talk about it. So, Charter Seven, our primary guest is called Emily. She's a renowned dentist in San Francisco. You may be familiar with her dental practice called If You're Going to San Francisco, get your teeth cleaned with some flowers in your hair. So, she'll be joined with... It's a very long dental practice, but apparently does very well for her. She's great with teeth.

She's terrible with brevity in titles. She comes up with very terrible puns on the fly that she decides to make her company brand. I don't know why she... He doesn't give it more thoughts. She's in the very long puns. Extremely long puns. Page long puns. Not really puns.

Just sort of she inserts teeth into an established song there. All right. She'll be joined by Eric. Her husband, a semi-retired tech guru, whatever that means. All right. Now, the theme of the night one should be like Kentucky Derby. Because dentists and semi-retired tech gurus love. fake horse races that mean nothing.

Now, one thing you should know, because they had a choice between going to the Kentucky Derby or going to a yacht. So they decided that go to the yacht and recreate the Kentucky Derby. So here we are, having a stupid theme for stupid people. Perry's like, actually, I like the Kentucky Derby theme. I just want to say, Ben, commentary on the side,

I do enjoy a Kentucky Derby theme. It's like better than some of the other bullshit they pull up. Anyway, so Kerry's like, well, we leave here at 1 o'clock and go straight to the cost to the sculpture park. And the next morning, we're actually going to anchor in St. Bots at Medmore. Okay, it's going to be very stressful for me. More than the bridge. Can you believe it? More than the bridge?

Yes, because it's Medmore. And it's where you put two anchors down and you have to back into the dock and you put the lines across. That's just Medmore living. Medmore. Medmore. Action. Listen, we put one anchor down. Anyone on this boat could die.

We put two acres down. The entire world could end. Do you understand? If I don't get people calling, we could all be dead. All of us dead. All right. It's fine for now. It's fine for now.

It's like the old song goes. Med more money. Med more problems. So. But we don't have any. ground lines or anything it's just anchors for us is that how we're going to it's just anchors we could all die that would be the consequences of our actions right right you know i held out all season to not not to not go to medmore and st but there's many obstacles to get in there we cannot balls this up

all right a lot of obstacles for instance you have to go through an actual labyrinth the yacht must go through a labyrinth you must be played by visions of david bowie as you sell the yacht down the labyrinth we're going to see a kind of creepy overly skinny man in a rod stewart wig with crystal ball all right there will be a bog of eternal stench and we're going to try to avoid that guest do not like eternal stench there at one point we'll all have some sort of fantasy moment, but we'll pretend we're at some masquerade ball with that strange rods to it, man. And then we'll wake up with a small creature that's carrying lots of things on its back. One thing we don't want, bowling it up. One thing we do want,

vegetimiting it up. All right? We're all on the same page. Right. Commercials. Here comes one right now. all right and then the next morning the guests get off hopefully literally and then uh they come the guests arrive all right so one more thing that's important to know emily she just finished chemo treatment everybody and they're like oh god and then fraser in his meeting is like and she's about to receive a mastectomy upon her return so this trip is all about her do we all understand party mastectomy party are we all there right so now jess tells a story about how her she was really close to her grandparents and she lost them both to cancer and that this was it was really rough on her and this is dredging up a lot of emotions for her yeah cancer's a real dick my god in a show where we like to make lots of jokes i think everybody has been touched by cancer in some way and don't love it i don't think anybody's got a great experience there

No. Fuck you, cancer. Just if we haven't said it enough recently. Fuck off. So 13.5 hours until Charter, Solane and Kyle making out in a laundry. I know it's not going anywhere with me and Solane. It's past the point of emotion now. It just needs that must be met.

Like, was it... Was it ever in a real place of emotion? I mean, I know you got Solon there for a moment. But, like, this was never a real relationship. Let's be honest, okay? It's also sad how happy Kyle is just being the only choice left, you know? He's like, well, she's gotten desperate enough to come back to me. I'll take it.

I'll take it. Demo may have been the final piece of crispy tuna order that was passed around. But Kyle is the tray. Kyle's just the oily tray. It's just the sad tray and maybe some doilies. So, Salane says, we live for what? What do we live? Pleasure.

We live pleasure. This is why we live pleasure. You're going to die unhappy. I'm telling you that right now. So now everyone goes to bed. Now it's the next morning. And Kerry does his inspections, make sure everything looks good. And then the guests arrive.

It's 12.04 p.m. In case you thought they arrived at noon, I had to, I had to break it to everyone. They arrived four minutes late for their charter. Oh, my goodness. That's four minutes. They'll never get back on the high seas. I'm sorry. I'm semi-retired.

Only one for me. I played semi-golf this morning. Okay? Not my ass. You know what? Sorry, we just had a very biting discussion before I'm a dentist. Sorry, you're just going to hear a lot of these puns all weekend long. Okay, everyone get ready.

Take all the lines off. Take all the lines off. Copy that all lines off. they're off bridge bridge your stern is well clear of the dolphin clear of the dolphin all right out of the slip out of the slip out of the slip this is to come to head 40 meters 40 meters all right oh we're almost clearing the bridge almost cleared the bridge and we've got the steering now clear up the bridge and oh we're going to crash into the consequences of our smoking a cigarette there

that was the hottest yacht removal I've done in a long time. Milled it! Yeah, everything's fine. So the guests are hanging out. Emily, who is the cancer survivor, she is talking about how she just had to finish six months of chemo, and they're just like complimenting her

and saying, you know, and she's saying, yeah, it was really scary. And her friend is saying, you know, it's blessings that you get to survive this And you know, you're feeling your pain and, and you're entitled to feel your own pain, even though it is in a death sentence, et cetera. So they are. I don't know why this might be like. First of all, first of all, the guest, the main lady, is so sweet. She talks a little bit. As the charter goes on, she reminds me of the drunk lady that got kicked off.

Like, she's more well-behaved, but she has kind of the same look and the same kind of vocal pattern as that lady. So she's like, yeah, I was really tough. That was really scary. And her friends, like, let me tell you this. You are a survivor. You are entitled to your pain, and I want you to feel your pain. Do you understand me? Because that is your right.

And then their friend goes, do you snarkle? I was like, is this other guest just always going on in platitudes where she's like, you listen to me. This morning is the best morning you're ever going to see. You get up and you tell the son, I fucking love you, son, and I'm grateful to see you. You guys think we could get some breakfast around here? I'm really into bagels. I was trying gluten-free for a while, but really didn't work out for me.

God, they just don't make it taste like real bread. But can I just, Eliza, can I just please? I'm trying to do a pep talk for the cameras, okay? And first of all, I'm scared of fish. Okay, I want nothing to do with them. Right. Where were we? It just left.

Be a snorical. Okay, so then Carrie is like, all right, all right, watch a chain. Watch a chain, let me know how it's doing. Do you understand me, girl on the boat? All right, now, what are you seeing up there? Can I get an update? I need a chain up. Where's my chain update?

Where's my core damn chain update? Just like, uh, oh, yes, the chain looks good, Cap. The chain looks good. And so do the consequences of my actions. All right, well, once you've locked down the chain, come see me in the wheelhouse, please. So she comes up and he's like, all right. On the anchor, you give me information when it's going out, but when it's out, you're waiting way too long between telling me anything.

All right, where's the dolphin? I need to know about the dolphin. Dolphin updates. What does it look like I'm doing up here, twiddling my goddamn Vegemite? I thought it was Marmite, and that's my bad. I should have looked at the label. These are the consequences of my actions. All right, all right.

Just go, just kill your head in the game, okay? And remember, once you lock down that chain, just come and... Oh, I already told you come in the wheelhouse. You're in the wheelhouse. Oh, that's funny. Anyway, just, you know, keep your head in the game, all right? Like I was when I just recited what I was talking about. Keep your head in the game.

Copy, sorry about that. So, she's upset. Like, she's visually upset. And so Damon notices her. And she's like, hey, Damo, I'm going to get the fins along. And he doesn't hear her. And she's like, okay, fuck it, whatever. He's like, what the hell?

You're all right there. She storms off. Yeah, she's upset. Upstairs or somewhere else, Hugo, well, Hugo finds Jess. He's like, hey, are you all right? Because if you're not doing well, I'm going to pass you off to Fraser. She says, yes, I'm fine. Oh, thank God.

I was afraid I'd have to have a tough conversation. Okay, let's have a chat. Okay, if you're upset about something, you don't have to talk about it. That's fine. In fact, I'm going to encourage you to not talk about it. In fact, if you're really upset, how about we just go our separate ways? Okay, thank you. She's like, well, Captain, Captain,

spoke to me about the anchor drop and stuff and just some shit. And it was just, it was just frustrating for me. I understand that. I'm in my own head. It's just been a long fucking season. It's like, to be honest, I'm concerned about just his performance. I get that something's distracting her, and it doesn't help that she's having all these relationships going on, and it's starting to bleed into work.

And I'm just worried. I'm worried about where this is going to go. Penises, vaginas, things are just flying. or what is it you go to do i you know they're they're trying to set up this thing there's maybe kind of a callous take and maybe it's i don't know maybe it's not a i don't know whatever but i'm gonna say it anyway because this is my thought when i watched it there's they're they're trying to set it up like like jess is almost having this like noble deep thing where like someone with cancer's on board and it's triggering her and reminding her of her grandparents

which may all be very true and like i would never take that away like the trauma of something like that but honestly I actually really think what it comes down to is that saline sat her down I was like you've been shit you were shitty to me and you made me feel bad and I think that just is like I think that's really what's motivating this I feel like the show is trying to make it seem like it's actually something like deeper and more noble and sad or more linked to trauma and I think that's probably there but like I think ultimately just like oh I made someone mad and like she doesn't I think she likes to just do her thing I think she's The consequences of my actions.

I think that's what it is. I think it is too. I mean, that is my feeling. I made it kind of a comment in the beginning of the recap, like using that as an excuse. And that is kind of callous because I've been feeling, I'm glad you said it because I was sitting here feeling like guilty for saying that in the beginning, which is rare for me. I usually don't feel guilty. But, yeah, I mean, I think that going through that with your family is upsetting. I've been through it with my own grandmother and my aunt and stuff, you know, so I get it.

But also, yeah, she just got told off for being an asshole to somebody and hurting their feelings. And then that was followed up by having the captain upset with her. And so it's a couple of things. And I think sometimes it's easier to be like, well, I'm crying for this other reason. I'm not really crying because, you know, I'm fucking up at work and I'm hurting everyone's feelings. I'm crying, you know, I'm going to use this other thing. And it's not like she can't be sad over the ground. mom but it's also like you know

I don't know it's kind of like just take responsibility for what you did and apologize and move forward you know yeah I just had that like nagging feeling like I know like you're sad and like this does remind you of your grandparents but I feel like the real reason why your head is like in the clouds

is because you're probably distracted because you're like wow Celine hates me and I'm a fuck up and now I just fucked up this anchor thing and then she just spiraled from there especially because she probably thought that like when she finally started like truly now getting with Barbara, she felt like, I'm doing the right thing, I'm doing the mature thing, and da-da-da, and I fixed it all. And Celine's like, no, you actually still hurt me, and you

did not fix it all. So that's my thing. I felt like that was my, my reaction to her emotional state on TV. Yeah, me too. So then Anthony announces, launch we have fish tacos, chicken tacos and they're like oh my god delicious so now dameau and jazz are talking and she's like listen before i turned this coffee machine on i'm sorry about earlier it had nothing to do with you it's just that the captain called me to the bridge and he was talking about how i shouldn't be making out with people that i'm not with and sleeping with barbara with him in the room i'm sorry wait i'm mixing up my consequences he kept on seeing something that vegetables might do and i was like what might they do and he said well veggie might and i said well veggie might and i said

What? Vegetimite, what? He just kept on saying veggie mite. I was like, finish your sentence. He's like, I did finish the sentence. I was like, is this some strange punishment for the consequences of my actions? What might the veggie do? And then I'm just bothered and it's just one of those days.

So now Fraser is cleaning up lunch. Just know those days. Take it personal. Did you please? Fraser's cleaning and while the guests go out for snorkeling. And he's like, Salain, you need to do all the dayheads, make sure the bar's perfect. The upper pantry is perfect, ready for service later. The bins need to be changed.

So change those. I'm going on my break. Goodbye. Thank you, honey. She's like, good break. Always me for toilet. Always me. I guess it is me.

It is dayhead, nighthead, in between head, nap head. All head me. All head me, I suppose. I'm not a children. So then immediately, Rainbow goes and takes a smoking break with Kyle. And they're like in the corner by smoking right by the master. bedroom and I'm like is that like the smartest place to do that and then of course Rainbow sees them and he's oh you're in trouble now and she's like oh I mean big trouble I am dead

so then Rainbow's like um Fraser Fraser Fraser rainbow I would like to talk to you for a second so she she goes like off to his room and she's like um can I just like ask you something really quickly I'm just double checking um did you give Soso a siggy break just gonna check just like out of the blue just wondering. No. Oh, because she's on one right now. Isn't that funny?

Where is she? Where? Where's she doing this? Next to the master. If you want to go talk to her, I guess you could do that. I don't know. She's not like,

yeah, she's definitely has swinging a cigarette over there. Uh, now's why he says, going to come. Maybe it's on Blake. Maybe he's going to come, blah,

blah, la, la. This is like he's going to do, blah, blah, but in with this accent, what, and he's like, do your work. When you have your break,

you can smoke, okay, do your work. first at least, she goes, but I was just like leave there. It goes, just do your work. She goes, but I run to cigarette and not. No, because Rainbow is doing everything, you know? I mean, you've got dayheads. Do the dayheads.

Dayhead bar pantry is like, and the quick fact, okay? You've got a whole hour of break time, okay? She's like, okay, well, if I see Rainbow do something, I want to face it. Oh, she's a big bitch, bigger than I thought. That's why you should at least try to be nice to your superior. So now it's first day of charter 4.15 p.m. People are sculpturing. They're under a sculpture park. And Kyle's telling Hugo about the smoke break

and getting in trouble, her getting in trouble. And Rainbow being a tattletail, basically. So then Just radios to St. David that they're coming back. And Rainbow and Salain have drinks and towels and all that good stuff. Guys, guys, we've got a rule to say, All right. We've got to get this Tinder in double time. That's right. Time step. Time step. Double time. Triple time. Step. We're in 40 seconds straight. We're in the money. We're in the money. Oh my God. I'm going so fast. I'm going to lose my knees. We're in the money. Shuffle off the bumbleau. Shave off the bumbleau. Wings.

God, I'm exhausted. Cheese and crackers. So then the guests come back on board and then Angela and Emily want to do a Titanic moment, but then Emily's hat flies away. And Emily's like, well, it's a sign of our trip because I'm losing my tits. Five days after this trip, they're gone. But anyway, let's go. Let's do this. Okay, I'm the king of the titties. Wow, that was a mouthful saying that line. Dentist jokes. Just can't help myself sometimes. So now we're getting set up for the derby theme. All right? Prep the anchor. Are we prepping two? Are we prepping one? Are we going to cross the anchors? Are we going to soak to solace this bitch?

All right, everybody. I'm just getting myself warmed up over here. All right, copy. More, more, more boss. More boss. Copy, copy, copy prepping the anchor now. Nothing could possibly go wrong. My head is in the game.

What the fuck's going on here? Red on deck. Red on deck. Sorry, the anchor dropped. I'm pulling it up now. Oh dear, I can't believe the anchor dropped. It is the consequences of my. My actions were thinking about other things.

Fuck consequences sake. God damn consequences. Oh, fuck sick. Just, just breathe. Do as that one country singer did and say, just breathe. All right, what's the anchor doing? Just hang in there like a bowl, like a nut in a sack that's bolted up. Are we pulling this up right now?

I am pulling it up. The anchor is clear of the water. Clear. Preping the anchor. Oh, my. My head's not here, bro. My head is not here. Don't stress, bro.

Don't stress. If you can't get the anchor proper, it's phrases fault. She's like, but my head's not here, bro. All right, three shackles in the water, please. Three. Where's the three? Where's my call for three? Sixty-five shackles in the water?

Oh, no, I messed up again. Pulling it up. Putting it up. Okay, we're back to four shackles. Four shackles in the water. All right, that's it. I'm doing something I don't normally have to do. I'm going down.

in there and I'm going to talk to this little lady in person. Hello, little lady. Have you noticed that I'm covered in ball sack right now? Have you, look at my face. There's a nut sack and two balls punching me in the forehead, all right? Because you balled it up. You balled it up. Yes. Well, so what happened earlier was the break wasn't untight enough. So she just dropped as soon as I got rid of the winch. It's very clear what happened. Oh, well, that's a mistake we can't make again. I mean, wow, how are you going to, how are you going to more boss today? Oh, no, more consequences, more actions, it never ends. Oh, God, so he's pissed, but he can see that she's upset.

So he's like, all right, now, while everybody's dressing like inflatable horses, I'd like to have a very serious conversation. Shall I call you by your stage name, Randy's donut underwear? All right. Now, you're all right. You're all right, kid. I'm here to make you feel better. Hold on.

Let me cock one eye and remind you that you've balled it up. Or imagine that you're talking to a big nut sack that's been thrown up against a window. All right. Go ahead. I just think the whole guest said the chemo thing, I just, it's hitting home a little bit. I don't think my head's been there. It's clearly showing like, I don't know, like especially on deck. You can see it.

Oh. Come here. Come here. Come here. Let me hook you. All right. God, your bony. Jeez, what do you do? Pull-ups. Those are some muscles on you. God, it feels like I'm holding dragon wings. You're extremely strong, extremely strong. All right. Now, go take some time for yourself for it. Go to your room. If you need me, I'm always here. I'd prefer you didn't talk to me. But if you need to, I'm here. All right. And here, to make you smile, here's some veggie mite. Might, what? Why do you torture me this way? God damn. How is Vegemite not caught on everywhere? That's my question. Let me tell you who the real failure is here today, Jess, besides you.

I mean, I'll feel for you for a second, but you're a failure. But you know the biggest failure here? Veggimite. I mean, really, can we get spread further? Jeez. I don't know what's going on with Jess completely. All I do know is that whatever it is, it's kind of boring. But there's something going on internally, and it's very important part of my job,

not just to cruise physical safety, but their health and their mental health, too. And I just want them to know that I'm there for them, especially if they want to talk about it in Turkish. Still taking the lessons, everyone. Yeah, he is very much like, I'm a father, and that's what I am on this boat, a father. What's wrong with you? You said? Go to Ben. Go to Ben.

All right, talk to your pillow. Time the lights off and sit with yourself and think about what you've done. It is a boat and how you almost killed us all. So Jess talks again about the cancer and how it really affects her and like how actually her, when she was younger, her grandparents managed a yacht club and they grew up on boats because of the grandparents. And really it was because of her grandfather that she got into yachting. And so this is why she's really upset. So she's crying and Barbara checks in on her and she's like, I am fine now. So the guests get ready and they are dancing around in inflatable horses and, you know, it's because Kentucky Derby and all that fun stuff.

It's disturbing. Just, I just want to make you make sure you're all right and to tell you one thing that I've learned. And that is Deshaadia Aglomach. Right. What does that mean? Cry outside. All right. I don't want to see your face anymore.

It's very smudgy. Please go do something. I would like to add to the episode please, I'd like to just tell America that my dad passed with a heart attack, so it was like something brutal. So, you know, he didn't suffer because it happened like that fast and like with cancer, it's a heart fight, it's a battle. And I definitely want to make everything special for Emily. And every meal I'm making for her, I wanted to remember it's a celebration of life. And afterwards, I'm going to invite her down to galley to hold tea towel and towards its refrigerator. And to really show you how meaningful this is all to me, I want to do it.

it in where you can see my Instagram mall. Here I am in Espido pitting a giraffe who's eating flouta which is roll taco. And now to celebrate all of this, here is a steak with black cherry sauce.

It's a not a joke. So Fraser is helping with service and he announces the cherry sauce on the steak, which sounds weird, but you know, you go. And then Hugo is figuring out

his entertainment, which is the horse race. And so... They did like a pre-Rit. They did like pre-Silly race the horse stuff, but this is, they have a big race coming up. But I like, it's really funny watching them all dress like inflatable horse. I mean, it's just so ridiculous.

And then it turns into this big dramatic scene. He's like, okay, what if it's, what is it the three of us? How about the three of us race? Okay, you and Jess. And Rameau goes, um, you guys can have Salain. And he goes, wow. wow you really hate her huh she's like um no i don't hate her at all why would you say that he goes yeah right bullshit you're a terrible liar and she's like um zero percent of me has any hate in my

body for any stupid bitch that won't do her work i'm a level literally just rainbow literally just was on tv saying she is the worst kind of person she is the worst she is the worst person you could ever imagine she is terrible i don't have any part of me that has any hate i'm like okay rainbow you chattled on yourself Yeah. And Hugo's like, okay, no comment then. And she's like, Hugo's making statements about me, Fraser. She's like, Fraser, Fraser, Fraser, Rainbow. I'm right here, darling. Well, still, I want to go by protocol because I'm not a hateful person. I'm being accused of hating Salane. And I don't like her at all. But I don't like bullshit like that. And he's like, but I love the drama. It's so fun. She goes, oh, what are you trying to start shit, bro? Well, stay in your own lane, Hugo. you goes like Oh fucking hell You're a fucking joke

What'd you call me I said you're a fucking joke Me I don't like when people bullshit right Could like don't lie to my face Rambo and Slane Have a really fucked up

relationship There's all this caddiness And jealousy And they're always at each other's backs And like also this like affects The whole crew Like we feel it We get dragged into it

Oh I'm team Salian Oh I'm team Rambo Fucking grow up Or how about you fucking grow up And say out of the interior's Like bullshit And like stop like making this when he says oh don't lie to my face

don't put her in a position where she has a lie to her face because you're making her like happen to say that she hates another crew member and that's divisive so yeah I agree with you I think Hugo's the asshole in this situation like it's not up to you to be policing people's words and how they're feeling this isn't even your fucking department

sir so back off and you're the one starting fights like you're literally starting a fight right now and that's going to affect the crew and then you're going to go talk about what a bitch rainbow is and that's going to affect the crew and also there is no I'm team Rainbow and I'm team Saline that's not happening unless it's something that's no one cares but no one is no one's acting like that so stopping a little shit

starter Hugo and then complaining to everybody's starting shit you are the biggest one to complain about drama but you've now started like three of them so yeah also like no one even talks to Rainbow like I don't think even people pay attention to rainbow she's just there the people say hi to her and they just move on so it's not even like there isn't like a divided crew people like people are just doing their other things. Yeah. So then Fraser is like well, I'm sorry, Fraser's talking to Rainbow

and Rainbow's like, what was that comment from Hugo? It was like, oh, I thought it was all joking. And he was like, oh, you really hate her? And it was like, oh, no, I'm just saying. And he was like, oh, this is so high school. You don't hate her. You don't hate her. You don't hate her. You're a fucking joke. Okay, you don't come and guess what? Hugo doesn't come

to our space. It's not shouting at my people. That's, that's, you know what? I'm going to, I'm going to walk right up to him and you know what I'm going to say to him. I'm just say, listen, Hugo. Excuse me, I'm trying to get by, and he will learn from that experience. I'll tell you that much. Read him for filth. Excuse me.

Thank you. See? See? Just did it. So dessert served. And Anthony is like, tonight for the last course, we got boobies. Oh, yes, in honor of breast cancer, for the last course, we have proffiterol with vanilla ice cream, homemade chocolate sauce, and homemade with cream, with a skirt steak in the middle.

because my grandpa like this he also was a big fan of potato so that's neither here nor there but he rode the horse too show the Instagram show it show it it's sort of I mean this again I'm not trying to be insensitive but there is also

something about this episode this woman has like gone through hell she's had chemo and she's celebrating life like she made it to the other side she is so lucky and she's like here on this boat she's celebrating and everyone's just talking about the people that they've lost I just feel like actually, like, I don't know.

I mean, like, everyone's gone through these. It's traumatic. I understand. It's dredging up memories. But I almost kind of feel like I want, I almost was like, why can't they actually be more like, let's celebrate your life than like dwell in like the, the losses that we have? And I understand like you, like it brings up stuff. But there's part of me that's kind of, I don't know. I kind of felt like.

Well, also, if you're really close with someone who's ever gone, gone through this. it's so fucking difficult. And let me tell you the last thing they want to hear. Hey, guys, I've been through chemo. I've been through a hell of a time. I've been dealing with cancer for a couple of years and I thought I was going to die. Oh, my grandma died of that. I'm still upset.

My grandma passed. My grandpa passed. Everyone's dead. We get it. It's like, no, this is my cancer. Like, I don't want to hear about your trauma. This is not about you. Okay?

This is about me. This is about me. Stop all of your, your fucking. trauma. Do your trauma on your own time. This is my cruise to talk about my pain. Get your grandmother out of here. Get her out. Will your dead grandmother out of my scene? And it's almost like, and I know Jess and the chef are not talking to the guests about this stuff. But there's also an element of like this lady came on here to celebrate life and she's going to turn on Bravo and what's you're going to see all these people who are like, oh yeah. Like, can we celebrate this lady more? Like this is such an amazing thing for her. But like I understand.

I'm trying to ride a line here of being like, you know, acknowledge that people, you know, are brought to places where they are thinking about loss and they're allowed to feel that way. But I also am just like, I kind of feel like it's overshadowing that this woman is actually like,

like she's done something amazing, right? Or she's gone through something. So yeah, and it come out the other side. I think they're just doing the reality show thing of like, okay, it's a cancer episode. So everybody talk about people that you've known with cancer So they're just doing it.

You know, they're just doing what they're told. But I think it's put together kind of in a clunky way. I agree with you. Because I don't have cancer currently, but I watch this. And I'm like, I'm getting offended from the lady with cancer to you. I'm like, can the lady have her own moment? Okay, this is not about it. This is not about you.

Yeah. I think that's what it is. It's like, I'm trying to like, I'm not trying to dismiss anyone's stories. And like, obviously, Anthony's not even talking about cancer. I'm not trying to dismiss these stories. These are important life-shaping. things, but I'm also kind of like, I don't know,

I feel like they are detracting from what should be a celebration of this dentist. Yeah, just my fucking perfideral. And do you know what we really need to settle? I love this. I thank you for like just crystallizing what it's all about. And do you know

what we really need to celebrate more chew pastry? I mean, we really all need to be making more shoe pastry. It's not that difficult and it is so fucking delicious. It really is. I'm going to make some today for my friend, Trisha, who's staying with me.

We're going to have shoe tonight. That's it. Wow. Shoe. Shoe. Shoe doepa, dupe. Shoe doepa, dupe. Shoe do pa, do,

pastry. It's going to be a very sheer evening over here. We're going to have some share shoe. Okay. Someone once said they cannot stand when I sing on the podcast. And I, to that person, say, sorry, this episode, got the music in me. Oh, oh, I've got a song to sing for you, a person who wrote that comment.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, who, who. Here's a song for them. Run away, run away, run away and save your life. Run for your mother and run for your sister. Run for your mother and run for the doggie. Run to the running and running and running. Do you remember that song, that Florence of the Michigan song? I felt like every time I walked in the Trader Joe's, they're like, run by your mother

and run by sister. Dung, someone rings that bell. We need assistance. Oh, thanks, thanks, Sherry, for doing it on beat. Oh, you like the jelly beans here, huh? I mean, they're just so different. They really are, aren't they? You're getting two of them.

Good for you. Good for you. I never go into Trader Joe's anymore, but I actually happen to go in. Like yesterday, it's so funny that we're talking about it right now. No one ever talks about Trader Joe's. Yeah, I don't go in much either because there's always a line in the valley to get in that goddamn. Not to get in, but it's like so hard to move because it's so small. But I went this weekend on vacation and wow, you can get all their frozen things.

I forgot how good their stuff is there. I know. I mean, you got so many appetizers. You throw them in the micro and people are like, Ronnie, what a chef. I know. Yeah, I got some frozen Giozas because I'm going to try a recipe. a tomato dumpling salad where you basically

toss dumplings with fresh tomatoes and like vinaigret and it's supposed to be amazing and I'm going to dry it out. Yep. Go fast for your mother and fast full your sister go run when the Florence and machines on the yacht.

So this is where it gets really good. Okay, so they do the derby. It's bedtime. It's like 1117 at night. And something Salane, Salane hurts herself on the coffee machine because she's just cleaning. And she goes, oh, coffee machine, how? Coffee machine? And Rainbow goes, do you ever think that when you hurt yourself, this is karma?

She goes, oh, only a baby. She goes, yeah. So, you know, because you fuck over your teammates every day. That's fine. Whoa. Selang goes, sorry? She was, yeah, I said those things are just, I said, that's because you fuck over your You know how when you hurt yourself?

You know, every time you fall down the stairs, every time you trip and fall, that's karma from you fucking over all of us. You fucking bitch, whore, slut. She goes, uh, you want to say something to me, rainbow? And she's like, okay. She tells us, here we go again. Another fight. Rainbow is like beast of vagina bush. I don't even know what that means.

You're like a beast of a vagina bush. I feel like there's like some French put down that she, like, translated into English very literally. Like, like, in French, if you say, like, Beast of Vagina Bush, like, it's like, it makes sense, but like in English, it's like, hmm, what? So, that's funny. Beast a Vagina Bush.

So then Salina's like, So I go to bed when everything is finished. And Rainbow's like, well, technically you go to bed when I send you to bed. And all you have to do is just the bar and the table. They had, just, just, but maybe you could put off just because, you know, the piece of vagina, bush, you know. Um, I feel your energy and I just want to say it shows me that you don't care about me. She goes, yes, of course. She's, okay, so go start.

She was, okay, nice conversation, vagina bush. And Rainbow says, no, it wasn't a nice conversation. She goes, it was sarcastic. Fuck you. And then Rambo is like, girl, get the fuck out of my face. and then she starts to like clench her fists and she has all these flashbacks and we hear like the flashbacks of her being like my sister would get me so angry that we would just beat each other up on an island in the middle of holland this whole thing was so camp and hilarious how they just kept showing it they show her like doing her deep breathing like rainbow rainbow calm down my sisters and i would put on an island to beat each other up rainbow calm down i fucking hate my sisters i'm gonna hit my sisters rainbow i solve things with violence rainbow and then it's just shows her like her fists are bald and she's like don't do it rainbow don't do it bro but i

really want to hit her i really want to hit her do it rainbow do it hit her um oh my goodness um oh you know what we rainbow's fucking psycho what the hell is wrong with right like she just started that fight now she's like I want to hit her I dare you uh yes so everyone that was it that's the what were you saying are you about to say like oh no we just meeting that started eight minutes ago I just saw so we have to wrap this up yeah I didn't even realize thank you everyone so much for being here we have got to go to a meeting and we will talk to you on the next one bye bye watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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