Watch What Crappens - #2989 McBee Dynasty S02E10: Wedding Crasher

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

Jessie’s dribble door gets locked to the public as he marries Ali on the McBee Dynasty season finale and Galyna crashes out. Literally. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what happens. Watch what happens when there's so much crap is. Hello everybody and welcome to watch what's crapans. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over yonder. Hello Ben. Yonder.

Hi. Over yonder. Previously Ben was over yonder. Today he's still over yonder. He's like a baby. Like a baby team. I love you, Ben. I'm a baby who went yonder and needs to be rescued with a combine.

Well, it was a really, really rough Monday night. For me, watching The Man of My Life, Jesse McBee, getting married to that hooker alley who doesn't deserve him just kidding it was a rough it was a rough monday for me too because i also had to watch him getting married to alley so that was rough it was a good day for you because the mcby's ending but i'm gonna miss those what i'd love this show i'm so sad that it's that it's ending and like and if bravo decided that this should be the series finale not just the season finale that would just break my heart just break my heart. No, this show will go on, sir. This, this has got 10 years and then I'm going to you.

Everybody, welcome to the show. That's how long this episode felt, by the way, watching that the season finale. Somehow, I don't, I've never seen a season finale for a show. I've never seen a crazy Russian crash, a G-wagon, and I still come away from an hour saying nothing happened. Like, that's crazy. All right, everybody. If you want this on video, you can find it over on Patreon. Patreon in English. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes. Last week was a three-hour recap of the Love Island reunion. That's what we were crazy. And this week will be a three-hour trailer trash of the Real Housewives of Potomac and trailer. And by the way, I have to say,

congratulations to Karen Hugar, who is reaching or has reached the end of her prison term. Is she released today or next year tomorrow she got out i just looking at a picture of her driving by in her car waving at people on her way to the beauty salon oh god welcome back karen i'm i'm sure she's not very thrilled that they filmed an entire season um without her she's like why didn't you wait but um you know what it might just be worth it because that trailer i have seen it and it is it is it is a good one it's a good one it's a good one but i'll look like it's almost like I'll watch it as we cover it probably tomorrow or the next day, but we will be around doing that. So check that out over on Patreon.

It's also where you get bonus. I already said that. Okay, if you want videos but you don't want to pay for Patreon, you get them a week later over on our YouTube. Also, Mondays are a fun day for us because Monday nights, we do Amazon Live one week at 4 p.m. Pacific. We just did one last, or two nights ago. It was super fun. And on the Mondays we're not doing that, we do Crappy Hour Live, which is at 530 Pacific. That's for free on Patreon or YouTube.

Or you can find it on Instagram too. Just go find links in the link in bio over at our Instagram. Okay. Let's find it. Today is the McBeed Dynasty Season 2 finale, wedding bells and jail sales. It's been one hell of a ride this year. I always thought of those McBeed. boys is my adopted babies and now one of them is having a baby yeah the big stupid one

who looks like a baby's actually having a baby it's the craziest thing that ever happened ever since they invented a dribble door it looks like someone had a dribble door on their condom so anyway and the other one well he got stuck in the mad and then we see scenes of stephen jr and kala fighting and fighting in in the ozarks and she's like yeah that's what no one likes are coming around hopefully you won't come around no more dribbledore face and with jessie and alice wedding finally here who knows what'll happen the last few years have been drama beyond belief i can't even tell you you remember that time i brought root beer to somebody who asked for beer ah oh it ain't all bad it ain't all bad near for wherever you are

So for on a show with that's known for its manufactured dramer, get used to all sorts of drama happening on tonight's wedding. Buckle up, everyone's going to be an exciting ceremony. So, inside the wedding venue, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, don, don, don't, don, 12 hours earlier. Something bad has happened. We know something bad has happened, but we don't know what it is. Yeah. So the brides are pop and champ.

and doing that kind of stuff. And Christy and Michelle, who is Allie's mom, go up and look at Allie in her dress and like, oh, my God, you're in your dress. It's so beautiful. I just love standing up here and just looking at everything. I mean, it's just so beautiful. It's just so beautiful up here. It is great.

I love it up here. By the way, for those who were concerned, we're wondering where I was for the past six hours, I was in a tanning bed, which is why I am now the color. Good Lord, woman. Did you ask for the Trump special? You are bright, you are traffic cone orange, okay? Has the tanning community not caught up? Like, has the tanning news not caught up over there in Gallatin?

Because it has progressed. You look like a caution sign. What is wrong with, who did that to you? I like my tanning the way I like my coffee. Big and crazy and will shock America. Good Lord. I was expecting her to make a presidential order or something. That was a lot.

I know. Oh, my God. That was, she really, she really came in hot with that tan. So then, the world theme of the wedding, tang.

We make me do things a little bit differently. We do something old, something new, something borrowed, something orange. So then outside, Jesse and the groomsmen approach the venue, and they're walking in slow-mo.

Because what, what makes you more excited? I'm excited than watching Cole walking in slow-mo towards a venue. Cole is already walking in slow-mo. That's how Cole walks. I mean, when you put coal in slow-mo, it's like a, like, we don't have five hours, okay? Listen, I've seen Cole walking in slow-mo before. It's called The Climax of Ghostbusters.

Okay, we've seen it. I've seen Cole walking in slow-mo before. It's called Cole Walking. Coal-Man Walking. oh goodness so uh what time we got to be ready one 30 what time is it now 1238 what we do till then drink beers the existential question of our time i look cold just what do we do what do the next 52 cool this guy was a quarterback and he's like what do we do with 52 minutes i'm like geez so then um they start shotgunning beers and then jesse's like all nervous

they're they can't so they're like so they're shotgunning a beer do i should know this being a texan but i just have never understood it it just looks like people ruining perfectly good can technology to get shit all over themselves and smell like bar rot the rest of the day i mean does it get you drunker faster or something no i don't think it's that i think it's sort of like a gamification i haven't chalk on too many beers because i think it's actually pretty stupid like why not just chug it like a real man but um i think the idea is that like since you shake it up and you put the hole and do the thing i think the thing is like it comes out so fast it's like it's like you have to drink this because if you don't you're going to make a mess it's like a challenge like

you better drink this all because if you don't you're going to be the dribble door with all that beer on your chest you know because you're stupid because you didn't drink it really fast but i'm like just put it all in a glass and just chug it you know yeah don't be stupid so stephen's like hey jessie why are you popping another beer already he's like because i'm getting fucking married that's why And it's not to Ronnie. So he goes to another room and he's just like, got to wrap my vows now. Dear Allie, when you first told me to build an octagon,

I thought, wow, we're going to finally do it. We're going to join the UFC. And then he said, no, it's going to go up vertically. And it's going to be behind us when we got married. And I thought, that's what I love about you. You always think outside the box. And then you said, I'm seeing what you're writing. And I'd like it to be a hexagon,

not a box. Anyway, I love you so much. Hey, be quiet over there. You're a vow stupid. Okay, we're shot cut them beers. Here's Jesse's vows. Did not make pre-nup. You're welcome.

Here's Jesse's vows. What more do you want from me? What do you think about the fact that I had an anxiety attack in a combine? And then I jerked off afterwards. Nothing? Okay. Well, I do. I do, too.

so um jesse is in his writing room which is hilarious why don't we get to hear the vows did we and i just forgot i want to hear them i vowed not to listen that was my vow my vow was block this out as quickly as possible i need to hear what those vows are because we don't hear much out of jesse so um uh the groomsmen are groomsmen the groomsmen are fucking around and drinking and stuff. And Cole's like, I think it's funny that the shot guy here has to stand up and dance in front of 250 people. I think that is Jesse's worst nightmare. It's his version of having a female in this family without a pre-up. I think it's funny that 250 people have to watch the only guy in this cast. It looks like a grown booger dance on the dance floor. And that'll be you, Cole. So Jesse's like, Jesse's like, Jesse's like, He's like, I can hear you guys talking. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

So then now we see Casey and she's getting her, she's getting her glam done. And then she's like, oh, why am I seated next to your dad to make sure he don't say stupid stuff? All right, Cole. And then the men are getting dressed. So they get into the groomsmen. At first I thought like, like, oh, I guess, I guess it's hot. So they're going to wait to put on their blasers. they're wearing like all white and like suspenders and then cowboy hats but no blazers which is

really not a good look first of all it's like very clockwork orange it's like dumb work orange for them and then on top of that like the blazers are flattering blasers would actually like this is not a good look for for people you know like you want to actually have the blazer to help help out the you know like it's it's it makes you look handsome i think and they're all just they're all just standing there with their suspenders on. And I was like, who does I, who made this look? Who said this should be the look for the groomsmen? They don't have to look handsome because look,

there's only a limited population in Gallatin. We found that out when Steven was like, I can't date. There's only one woman in Gallatin. Who am I gonna date? I have to travel at least 700 miles to find a date. So yeah, they're not, they don't care. They don't have to make no effort. They just needed some canes and they would definitely be like some like,

1968 Stanley Kubrick Vision that's for sure yeah and Cole's like well this is my time to talk because Jesse now they won't let me get up and talk during the wedding they told Jake and I they said we can't have the mic

during the wedding you know why because we had a thing worked out I was going to say Jake what time's wedding and then he was going to say 130 and I was going to say what time is it now and he was going to say

1238 then I was going to keep the shit out of hill I was going to keep the shit out of the hill. There's a hill that's 15 minutes yonder. And I thought, oh, I've just enough time to drive over to it, punch it, then drive back. And then I can cry and say, I'm really tough. So they all do a toast to Jesse. And they're asking Stephen if he has a date. And he's like, oh, yeah, Cal is coming. She's coming. I'm sure of it. Cal will be here any minute, any second. Kelly's going to walk through those doors. Yeah, Cal is definitely going to come. You know,

because, like, Cal and I had a really good week. I love, I love that they're like, like, it's like, okay, we have like five or six days that we're good. So I think we're, I think it's going to work out now. She's going to come to the wedding. He's like, and I honestly miss her, you know, because with wedding, love is in the air. And maybe this will be a last ditch effort for us getting back together. Okay. Well, unfortunately, our last date was actually in a ditch. So this would actually be the second, truly the second to last ditch effort. That was a ditch effort. We agreed. It'll be. No drama.

She has a relationship with Casey and Allie, and that'll be different. You know, she wants to support the people that didn't call her when her sister died. And Casey's like, what, Cal is coming?

Why? I'm like, oh gosh. Does mom know she's coming? She's like, no, Mama doesn't know. So then Casey comes in, and she's like,

I don't know about this. That's what she says about a lot of things. and the slowly falls over, just like a tree being chopped down very slow. It's just like, I don't know about it. This is also what she said last week when they tried to change the logo for Cracker Barrel. So then, I don't know about this. I'm taking this to social. Cancel culture, stupid, unless it applies to Cracker Barrel.

Change the logo back. What was offensive about that? the crack i mean i saw headlines but i didn't read them because i mean it's the cracker barrel you know i mean isn't the name offensive enough what what was in the logo that was so offensive or the new one wanted to keep well i guess people really like the old man in the barrel um which i get you know but like if you really look at the crack crack cracker barrel logo it's a messy Yes, logo. It's like not a very good logo. Let's be, let's be honest. Let's be 100%. It's not a, it's not a good logo, but people like the guy sitting there. And I kind of get that. He's like a mascot.

And then the new one is just sort of like very corporate, but it's much cleaner. I don't think that. I don't. Oh, so it's like literally a cracker next to a barrel. And that's what they wanted to keep. This store's about celebrating crackers. We will keep the cracker next to the barrel. That's interesting. You know, I've been to cracker barrel many, many times, as you can imagine. I love the cracker barrel. And I never noticed that it was an old man sitting next to a barrel. It's just always so blurry. I can never tell what the fuck it is up there. You know, sometimes when I go by the cracker barrel and I look at their logo, I was like, wait a second, was that Christy? Was that, was that Christy McBe? Now, I got a barrel full crackers, but otherwise, no, that ain't me. So now Bridal sweet.

She is literally, she's like, give me a cracker barrel orange, please. I'm a candy corn barrel, okay, if that was my restaurant, it would be called candy corn, candy corn barrel. So they're in the bridal suite. Allie is in her dress, getting her glam, which, you know, and Gallatin just means someone putting the comb through her hair. And she's standing. Like a ribbon. She's like, I'm ready for my glam. Okay, we put the ribbon in your hair, and you're all set.

combing her horse's tail or whatever. Her glam squad is like literally like, it's like the police department. It's literally a squad car that shows up and puts a ribbon in her hair. Like, well, little lady, you're all set. You're ready to go. Sending you out into the world, little lady. God, this town hates us. So the moms come in and they start crying and stuff.

And Michelle, her mom is like, oh my God, you're so beautiful. any christie what about you and they're like whoa christie jesus christi it's toned down the orange christie like wow wow who got me this nice citrus this citrus delivery oh it's christie sorry so well i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna grab you look just perv is that a ribbon in your hair god that's good what you get for your glam that's good wow you really went all that with your glam. I see that ribbon that you got there. It's real nice. She does look really pretty,

though. We're just being bitches. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence come. It's your man Nick Cannon. I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at night. I've heard y'all been needing some advice in the love department. So who better to help than yours truly? Now, I'm serious.

Every week, I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. problems with your man. We got you. Catching feelings for your sneaky link. Let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non-judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, situations, and everything in between. It's going to be sexy, freaky messy,

and you know what? You'll just have to watch this show. So don't be shy. Join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night or subscribe on the a Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and app-free? Join Wondery Plus right now. Commercial. We go to the entrance and there's a security guy there named Mackie. And so Stephen, which I, yeah, so Stephen goes up and he's like, hey, Mackey, I want to show you some photos, okay?

Because I know that you're really big into ball gowns. I Googled you. He's like, what? Yeah, you know, you make ballgams for celebrities. That's Bob Mackey, sir. Right, right, right. I thought you might be a little light and loafers to run this whole thing, but glad to hear it. Glad to hear it.

Okay, so I want to show you some photos. We've got two people on our no-fly list, but one of them is allowed. She wasn't allowed, but now she is loud, okay? Now, the problem is they're both Russian, okay, and they're both blonde. Okay, so they both have blue eyes. It's going to be very, very confusing. Okay. white Russians all look the same as we all know macky is like yeah i i i can see they look like two

different people he's like no but i just want to i just want to i just want to say one thing to you macky if i hold you down and i hold down a shift button do you get bigger he's like i'm not an actual mac he so do a lot of computer peripherals not work with you not a mac i'm not a mackey i'm not a Mac. Okay. Now let's check out the white chicks. Okay, this one is Galena. She's good. Okay. She's crazy. She's good. If she looks at you and you feel like there are lasers boring into the back of your brain and you're not really sure if she's drunk and also you suspect that she might have been the one to vandalize your car, she's the one that we like. Okay, she's the one that can come in here. This one's like, okay. This one's not good. Don't they look exactly the same?

Actually, no, they look nothing alike. They do. They look. look exactly. I can't even tell the difference. Which one is this? Here's here's a little trick that we like to use. If one of them is walking in holding a chicken, that's Masha. If one of them is walking in holding a knife to a chicken, that's Kalina. You follow? Okay, that I can get. That I can get. Got it. Got it. So he's showing them the pictures. And he's like, okay, now it's going to be difficult because they both talk funny too. They got Russian accents. He's like, okay. And they'll both put up a fight. Okay, you got tasers. Y'all got tasers. You might need tasers. Okay. Now, there's another crazy blonde lady coming in named Cala. Okay, she's more of a flesh pot and

I'm in love with her. So she doesn't talk, but you should try and make her talk just so you make sure she doesn't speak like a rescue. Okay, you got that. He's like, now I'm, I am concerned. I think we saw an escape convict get into your wedding. What is this kick convict? What are you talking about? orange blur that came through. I thought it was a jumpsuit. That was very concerning. Oh, that's just my mom. Don't worry about her.

That's my mom. Yeah. Yeah, we're just the new mom. Okay, says, that's my mom. Just leave her alone. We do have a future feeling coming. That's my father. He's also allowed in.

Okay. He's allowed. He's allowed. If he decides to talk to you and act like he's 23, that's my father. Trying to get inside your pants. Okay. He does that. So now everybody's mingling and it's like a soap opera ending, you know,

it's like the big event at the end of the season you know it's the wedding so everybody's there the whole cast is there tess is walking around some say love this is my blues version some say love it is a lake i'm just changing it up changing it up i do this at a lot of weddings all right everyone everyone and gather around i'm gonna let's shed a tear okay how do you talk to an angel to someone who looks like Cole. How do you talk to my adapted babies? You talk to him like marriage. Wow, Cole, you look mighty handsome, bud.

Just kidding. Thanks, Mom. You look real nice, son. Real, real nice. Hey, Christy, you look real good, too. So do they have a few of you set out for kids to practice their parallel parking in the parking lot? But. Okay. That was a good one. That was a good one, Steve. I'm not going to lie. Being in the same room again, Steve gives me anxiety. I got real flush. You know, my cheeks turn red. Although with this orange, I just look kind of like a, just sort of look like a tequila sunrise at the moment. But anyway, I'm just, I'm just, I'm real nervous. Okay. And, you know, it's been 30 years, right?

And, you know, it's just really difficult to see him again after, you know, it takes a lot of, a lot of good memories come back. A lot of memories of me being like, hey, Steve, where are you going? And him saying, shut up, woman, you don't get to know what I do. And I say, okay, I'll make some macaroni for later. God, those were the days. Yeah, those were good ones. So then we see a picture of Christy and Steve on their wedding day. Can I just say, why did you ever marry Steve?

That is one of the people that's really aged to be more handsome. than he was when he was younger. I'm not sure. Right. Yeah, he was not very cute when he was younger. He looks much cuter now. He had big sunken eyes. I mean, he really looked like Igor.

Like, I felt like he was going to assist in like assembling a Frankenstein. He looked like a convict. Crazy. Yeah, he looked like a runaway convict, like, who hadn't been, you know, I don't know, nourished in a while. I mean, he looked weird. It looked odd. So, you know, good, good for you.

Not everybody gets to age better. Yeah. He did age well. convict face resting convict face oh yeah yeah i mean i think it's steve senior's handsome i think he's like a handsome yeah i think so type you know um i think he's good looking yeah yeah he definitely looked crazy but just to hear how tessa talks you know because tess is like oh wow you should have seen daddy stephen back in the day holy guacamole you better pray to an avocado because that is some holy guacamole let me tell you that that man was fine as a fine is a hair on an old

man's head. That man was good looking. Let's get cooking. Oh, I would work for free back in those days. I'd take those paychecks and I'd rip and brought up and throw them in the air and say, who needs them? I'm being paid with my eyeballs. My eyeballs are paying me right now, stood. It's like, damn. Then we see a picture of them and he's like. It's like, yeah, it's like wrinkle free Abe Vigoda. So then we go. what a rude funny thing to say well you know i love just felt like i see it so then the guests arrive they're arriving off the bus everyone's arriving uncle jimmy's there aunt darla slutted up with all the guests as usual yeah yeah she even you know she brought her sex swing and everything

for afterwards i was like darla inappropriate darla why are you putting your key in that, that's not, that's a vase, like, put your keys and the ball in my right. Darla, are you putting on Stevie Nix? Did you, why, okay, why are you wearing a teddy? This is a wedding. So, um, they, they arrive and they say hi, and Tessa's there. She's like, ah, hi, hi, little friend. And then they go inside and, uh, Casey's like, um, their security out front. And Steven's like, yeah, I showed them pictures of both Masha and Galena, because guess what? I am the most pessimistic person about people crashing this party, and I will not allow it. So, Casey's like, oh, good. God, he's going to get him mixed up, because white Russians all look the same, aren't, don't they?

Already used that one. Already use that one. Sorry, I thought it was funny. So she's like, where's Calais? Did you tell her the wrong time or something? Ha ha, ha. And he's like, no, for sure she's coming. I know she's coming.

She wouldn't just leave me. Call it. This is Stephen right now. You are being the most pessimistic person when it comes to my family's wedding. So now at this point, I was like, okay, she'll have her big entrance. But then the wedding starts. And I was like, oh, is Caller really not coming? Do I actually have like a glimmer of care about this?

Do I, for the first time all season, when they've asked this? Is Cala going to come up? And for the first time, it's not even that I cared about Cala coming. It's just more like, I don't know. I felt like you should, I think it's an honor to be invited to, like, your landlord's wedding. So, like, you should go. Guys, I'm really sorry, I have to leave. I'm going to the lady who has my car lease.

Yeah, her son is getting married. So, go. Yeah, I think, I kind of think, feel like. Like, if you're asking this family to pay your rent, you should show up at the wedding. Sorry. Yeah, your rent and your car. Damn. So, Chris, and then dump.

And then dump at the wedding. Yeah, make some trauma. Like, what the hell? You've worked so hard to be on this show. Now you're just going to ditch the season finale. Callow, we deserve more. But also, like, they had to, like, put out a place for you. And, like, it's just like, you have to pay for the food.

Look, they've got to pay for that mutton. okay so it's just really i thought it's just inconsiderate those squirrels don't pay for themselves so maybe she heard there'd be no brachetta she's like well i'm excited because it's my cheat day so i'll be eating some brichetta they're like well about that so jesse did not sign off on the brichita so well it's a mother seeing one of my sons officiating my other sons wedding while my other sons are standing up there it's a mother's dream it really is perfect. Now I just think, which one of them's going to prison first? You know, I mean, God, it's great. It's just so fun. You know, seeing them got my handsomest son. He's, he's getting married. My other handsome son's the officiator. My other son, just sort of standing there like a bottle of Elmer's glue. And then the little one, well, he's still young. So I just am so proud.

So Allie starts making down, making her way down the aisle. And Tess is like, baby I've been love you quite as often as i could have um why is she singing a breakup song just roll with it honey just roll with it so she gets up to the front and she's like um jesse you didn't cry you were supposed to cry it's like i tried i tried to cry to you and you looked like you were going to leave me so i've had never to cry again um yeah so now it's time for the ceremony to begin and test is like watching pretty boy get married I do get kind of choked up because it's not it's that is that another chapter it's another it's another it's another yogurt they're going to buy in that family you know got to consider your lady now and it's just like a lot of things happening I don't get very emotional here you want to hear me cry this is how I cry I got dribbles coming out my door Jesse, will you take Allie's hand and choose her alone to be your lawfully wedded wife? Because we do not believe in polygamy in this family.

Do you understand me? And, Ellie, do you solemnly swear to forfeit your 12% of our family family family? You got allowed to have it. You can't have it, Allie. You cannot have it. So Jesse's like, wow, we finally did it. We are getting married. I do.

Ellie, will you take Jesse alone as your lawful? wedded husband to having to hold to love and comfort him through all the good times and the bad except the times when he's crying talking about nervous breakdowns like a fucking pussy as long as you shall live hopefully not in the city because i don't want jesse to be late for this work that cole's always breaking combines at yes or no yes or no do not be pessimistic she's like having been together for 12 years the anchor our relationship has been has been the fact that we've grown together now that we're getting married we're stronger than we've ever been and nothing says a strong relationship than being in it for 12 years and saying when the fuck are you going to marry me and then he does he does it for the cameras I'm just so happy by the power vested in me I now pronounce you I don't know stupid people stupid people who are going to own 12% of my company that's bullshit Jesse may you may keep the woman who just robbed this family

of 12% by the power vested in me and my vest my vest has a lot of power in it you are now husband and lady who's going to steal the farm congratulations so they did it wow good old pretty boy

wanting to make sure this was his forever girl took him dang near 12 years to figure it out but I'm proud of him Allie's beautiful on the inside and the outside and there's no doubt that they're going to be together for a couple years least, a couple of years, probably, maybe a little bit more.

I don't know. I'm guessing this one, she'll probably cheat first because, I mean, Jesse just don't have the gumption. But is that thing still on? Can we redo that? I should probably not say all that. Okay, what I'm trying to say is don't trust the city girl. These people from the city are scary and they want to change all their rules to match their

queer agendas. Don't trust somebody with something in their house called a key your wig. You know, those things make calls. coffee. That's ridiculous. Who makes coffee in a little robot pod? Don't trust her. But I'm so happy for Pretty Boar because Pretty Bo got pretty girl. And if I only wish that she could be here to enjoy her wedding, but unfortunately she had to go off to a triathlon. So now it's the reception and guests are coming in and Casey's. changing her shoes and you hear did you hear about the antenna wedding by the way what is it well the ceremony was only okay but I heard the reception was amazing oh my god congratulations I just said

something funnier than anything that happened on the McPie times see this oh my god why so I'm sorry Ronnie sometimes you just got to throw in a dad joke just why Just a cleanser palate. So Steve takes Casey's bag for her, and Chris is like, Are you kidding me? The whole time we were married, he never even carried a diaper bag. Now he's carrying a pink bag? I mean, what is happening?

A grown man carrying a pink bag? How does a male carry a pink bag? That is what is happening? It is in the year of our Lord, 2024, a man carrying something pink. I thought I never lived to see the day. Next time I get, there's a wedding. I guess I'll just have to tan myself pink, just a lot to be held for once.

So outside, they're taking photos and doing all that. And let's see, Tessa is holding a fruity mixed drink. And she's like, wow, well, pretty weak, huh? But this drink is what we call a cold because it's weak, right? I guess they're trying to make us pace ourselves. What are you charging by the shot here? What kind of open bar is this? Yeah, I heard that they actually batched these cocktails.

a few years ago. That's why it's called a coal, because it already peaked in another decade. Hey, you know what? I'm going to call this drink to the bartender. That means give the quarterback. Hey, pick a quarterback. Who is this? 10 cents? So Stevens, like Calla was planning on coming, but she must change her mind last minute. So I guess this is the final straw, but I cannot imagine losing my best friend. I'm going to cry. Hold on. Watch me. Grow making cry. I and I just got a humor right. Okay, well, I tried it. I tried it.

Please don't tell me that Cal is your best friend because I don't believe that for one second. And then we cut to Cala. Now she's having her liberation confessional. She's like, this whole relationship has been a roller coaster ride. And I don't want to, I don't want any more of the drama. I've been buried by this drama for way too long. And I'm not going to the wedding. Not going to the wedding was a hard decision because that's like a free meal and it's fancy.

And I could be on camera. But it's time to end it and jump off the crazy train. I'm done. Am I on a roller coaster? Am I on a train? Who knows? Maybe it's a train on a roller coaster. What I do know is that there are tracks, not only just in my hair, but also on the thing that whatever I'm writing on is riding on.

I'm out of here. Yeah, you could call or text and say you're not coming, you rude ass. What the hell? Rude. No manners, Calla. No manners, Calla. Cala, these guys truly suck. We all agree with that, but it's not a zero-sum affair.

Them sucking does not make you better. You suck, too. Goodbye. No one cares that you're leaving. Yeah, I mean, it's in your name. The least you could have done was give them a calla. Am I right? Am I right?

You want a dad joke it up here? I can play with the best of them. In honor of Cala leaving the show, how can we be lovers if we can't be friends? How can we start over when they're fighting marerans? So back at the wedding, Cole's like, so Steve, Cole's asking where Cala is, and he finds out she's not coming. He's like, well, I'll go set solicitifies what you should do. Party hard. Party hard, brother. And now they're like, where's Galena? Where's Galena? We hired the security guard. He didn't even get to kick anybody out yet.

Yeah. And this is truly the question that's on people's minds. because they already showed as Kalina what appears to be getting crashing her car and getting a DUI. So we're like, come on, let's get to the good stuff. Right. So then Steve- I mean, look, this is the question I ask now when I watch any show on TV. I don't even care what it is. I can be watching like the secret lives of Mormon wives. And my only question is, where's Galena? Because this needs more Galena. The show needs her. Yeah. Okay. This is a woman who's willing to have kind of like a fake DUI. She's trying to do the Bravo thing, okay? Let's come on, let's up the Galena.

So then he's like, well, Galena was so excited about coming to the wedding, okay? So he calls up Arina. I was calling her Arina last week, but it's Arina spelled with an E. And he's like, Arena, arena, where is everything okay? Where is your mother? She is the most pessimistic about being on time to a wedding. And she's like, no, it's a car accident. I don't know what happened.

So then Stephen's like, oh, shit. So now he's got to figure out what's going on. on. Yeah. And he's like, well, is she okay? She says, no, I mean, not if she got into this. I mean, she's like seven minutes away for the video. God damn it. You are being the most pessimistic person about your mother right now. Rina pulled it together. So then the screen goes to black. Producers left the wedding to find Kalina using her GPS location. Be careful who you give access to your Facebook account. Don't, don't, don't. This is, this is very. This is very. very exciting. This is like when Laura Dern went to turn on the power in Jurassic Park. It's like she's got to go out there. Got to see what's happening out there. Don't get attacked. So they go out there. And then they find this G-Wagon, this totaled, looks terrible. And Galena is there and there's police cars, et cetera. And then the producer is like, we found her. We found Galena. He's like, okay, is she going? Is she in an ambulance of some sort? Like, we don't know.

Are there any queers? Yes. Well, mainly. Mainly. me okay well that's acceptable okay just let me let me know what happens we're not allowed to say that word in this town anymore sir but i did see one crossing the road with a pink bag oh that was just my father okay times are changing he's just trying to get used to prison already he's trying to get himself prepared for prison okay let's so then we see body cam footage how many cars is Galena gonna fuck up like how many luxury cars does Galena get to trash this year I'd love this woman's style yeah this is the the insurance on the show really has to be off the like off the off the charts yeah much like she was off the road commercials here comes one right now

so we see a body cam footage of this and it's like Galena sitting on like a rock her car is total and she's sitting on rocks like oh hello i'm fine i just had a little nervous breakdown a nervous breakdown can you stand up and face me please we're going to have to take you into prison we do not believe in um emotional well-being uh issues here so we're going to take you in uh you should never be talking about your emotions especially to a police officer in gallatin okay get in the car will you take a uh sobriety test She's like, oh, no, I don't think I will be doing that today. Oh, did anybody ask Ginger to take a sobriety test when she lost head?

No. We are allowed to lose head in this world, I think, no? Okay, well, we're going to have to take you down to the station and get a warrant for your blood. Okay. She's like, okay, that has found sounds actually quite nice. Thank you very much. Oh, sounds good time. Sounds good time.

Cannot wait to see your house. Cannot wait to see Big House. So then we go back to the wedding and Cole is like, hey, why aren't you drinking? He's like, oh, I'm going to start right now. He's like, okay, I feel like I'm the only one getting drunk like always. Like, don't worry. I plan to catch up if that's possible. So then Cole is just being annoying.

He's just like a drunk, annoying guy at a wedding. He's like, oh, wow, Alie was real happy walking down the aisle. she was smiling the whole time mom was crying that was the only time i ever got emotional but mainly because i accidentally finished my monster energy drink a little bit too early and i didn't know what to do with myself it's kind of weird i'd never been emotional before and then they show cole's beating up the hill and then cole being like do not tell me a motherfucker crying i'm too tough to cry i'm too tough to cry uh that was the best part of the season I hope they show that clip every episode because I was dying.

So then production calls and Galena was booked at the station. So now Stephen calls Arena and tells her that her mom is not injured. And he's like, just try to stay calm. No one here knows, but she's okay. Okay? And now I'm going to go tell everybody at the wedding, but I just want you to know she's not hurt. She is not hurt. Okay.

Okay, I gotta go. I gotta go weepy pants. Okay, crying your own dime, lady. So then we see like, you know, Galena's being taken into the police station. And then Jesse is just like making a dumb speech. He's like, there's no other group, Ali and I would rather be with tonight.

So thank you, everyone. Then we see like Galena being put into a jail cell. And they're like, we're just gonna have you sit here for a second, okay? we're gonna all the wait to see in your blood we're just keep you in a jail cell so enjoy this oh what's a lovely lovely living room what beautiful place i cannot believe you treat me like this after we have moved in together ma'am this is the big house not my house oh well you tricked me to get in here so i guess i will i will wait lovely place do you have couch i could use couch in here this is

very very hard to sit very hard to sit so then um jesse and alley are doing their first dance and they're like cutting into a cake their wedding cake look like was it just like two bun cakes stacked on top of each other did you notice that they got cakes from everything bunt the cake which is a great store by the way have you ever eaten their stuff at everything bunt the cake everything bunt the cake no it's actually really good and i know it because they do gluten-free cakes and so with my gluten-free family i gotta go get the gluten-free good so that's what we have every niece or sister birthday and they're delicious but i was surprised to see that as their wedding cake because the show's called the mcby dynasty i thought they were going to have like a 10-tier

cake you know it's supposed to be like a show about car washes and hedge funds and stuff and they're like well we bought a storebox everything but the cake so enjoy that yeah i was yeah i'm looking at it right now i think it's technically called nothing but cake which is funny oh yes that makes more sense yes nothing but cake because i never remember titles right well it's yours is better because nothing but cake sounds actually like you're saying this is a nothing but cake and they do have a wedding cake option that's what they got and it that is you would think that i just would think they would go for like a traditional like 10 story high wedding cake it was just sort of random and funny that they got this relatively humble cake yeah for their wedding yeah um

So, but, you know, do that wedding on a budge, I guess, but that's good. They put all that. That's how I was in mine. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing against that cake, but clearly they spent the lesser budget on that sweet hexagon he built. Yeah, but this is bravo, you know what? Like, we need a better cake. Like, there was a G-wagon that just got run into a tree because someone was having a bad day. Like, I need a bigger cake.

Dude. They literally, it probably realistically was that Bravo's paying for this wedding and Bravo's like, we ran out of money because we've had to. do so many vehicular repairs all season long. Sorry. You're buying your own cake. And Jesse's like, I don't know, nothing but cake. Guys, let's go back to random gay things.

So Casey comes to Cole and she's like, oh, I met your cousin. Oh, yeah? What'd she say? She said that you, when you were little, your favorite color was pink. What are you gay or something? And so then, Stephen, Stephen looks at them,

but then he looks away in case he's like Stephen thinks we're talking about him because he said that Kyle's name card is on the table. She's not there and I think I better go over there and eat my food before they take it. So, okay, bye.

Wait, well, it's kind of weird that she's not in the wedding party, right? It's just weird that she's not. She has to go back and sit next to Stephen. Well, wait, Stephen's in the wedding party. I don't understand the seating arrangement here. I don't get, well, wait, is Cole? Is Cole sitting at another table or is he he's with the grooms table right don't all the grooms sit together

and then all the bridesmaids sit together so if you're i hate the seating chart i hate the i hate the cake i hate the seating chart i hate this wedding i'll just say it right now i don't like how they decide to see their guess i hate this whole thing i don't like how they chose to do that i don't like being confused on this point i don't feel like it's right i don't think it's fair to us the logistics are too confusing so casey goes back to Steve and she's like, well, my, I'm Galena here. Did she come? And he says that she wrecked her G-Wagon. It says, now is in jail. So Casey immediately runs up to Cole. She's like, I just found that Galena's going to jail. She crashed her car. And Cole's like, oh my God, Jesse, Galena got in a car

accident on the way here. And then, you know, it just like, it goes around like so fast all around the wedding. And they're like, oh, my God, wow. So then, like, the car's total. So Steve's, like, talking to her arena and like you know finally up she's home yeah whatever and arena's like she's almost home they just gave her a ticket for reckless driving and stephen's like so she wasn't drinking or anything she's like no they took her blood because she refused the field sobriety test but they don't they don't pursue the intoxication charge they said they think that there's something going off of then someone yeah so she wasn't drunk here's what i think surprise i thought she was shit faced here's what i think i think stephen sent a whole bunch of

free car wash vouchers to that police station and suddenly galena is free as a a free thing oh you think so that's my conspiracy theory is that steve steve mcby paid them off with car wash vouchers she was i'm gonna say she was she seemed shaced i don't know i can't tell with galena because even when she's drunk i don't think she seems drunk but you know i'm kind of so um back to police station. We see the officer telling Arreen on the phone, she's getting to a point where she's not tolerating stress well. She just asked to marry a sink in the cell. So she said something about like she knows all the secrets about the sink and she's not afraid to say it on camera, but we're like, it's just a sink. I just told her we're going to send her home and she told me

she would fucking kill my chickens if I broke up with her. I'm not really sure. what that meant, but she could you come get her. We're terrible. Every time we go to bring her a little snack, she's cursing at the sink, calling it a prostitute and a whore and a slut. And we don't really understand that. So Steve's like, well, trust me, we're not going to leave her at the time of need. I mean, she's the first one to drop anything for the McBees. We're going to take care of your mama real good. Like, remember that time mama's built a house with her and then I had my sons go over there and move all her shit out into a place she didn't know she was moving into. Sounds funny. We treat people good here in the McVee family. Don't you worry,

Tuts? Listen, we're not going to leave her in her time of need. So please sit back and relax and know that no one from this wedding is going to go to that jailhouse to get her out. Okay, great. We're not even going to save a slice of cake for her, but we will not abandon her in her time of need. Next up, we see Galena running back into her house, kind of oddly, like running back to the house and like kind of hobbling up the steps and she just can't wait to see arena she's like oh my god i'm so sorry i don't even know what happened i think i was so hyped up and then i got into a love affair with sync which was kind of crazy no garbage disposal i mean thank god that one ended early you know that could have been awkward for me she's just arena's like um

this is not okay you scared this shit out of me like you need help she's like oh i'm so disappointed I was really excited. She's like, I don't care about this wedding. You literally almost died, mom. And then we see like Galena be like, and we see like there's, she's all cut up. But those like, was that like a cut from the accident that we saw on her skin? They do a close up.

Yeah, she's trying to cover her arm. And then we see something like a cut or something on her. And or scars, I think, because they were. weren't bloody but um yeah she's trying to cover something up and so galena's like well being invited to wedding is proof you are part of family right but i was so worried about tomorrow shot my way there that i don't know next thing i see is car broke in the window you know and so arena's like mom i don't know what i do without you you know they all have each other and i don't have anyone it's just so sad watching her kid cry and she's like but i'm so disappointed i wanted to be part

the family and she goes mom you are part of your your family's right here you know you do everything for them and then you almost kill yourself over it and i don't even live here i'm 700 miles away i can't help you and it's my last night here and all you care about is a stupid wedding and then this happens you know and i felt so bad for her i didn't even think about that like it's her last night in town and their mom's like sorry goodbye going good going to wedding and galena's like i promise i wasn't trying to kill myself which made me think like ooh there might is there a larger story going on here and uh yeah this poor girl she seemed like the only sane rational person on this entire show and glean is just saying that she just needs to refocus for her daughter and for

herself and she needs to move on and you know she's like i don't think people realize how much bullshit i went through with with brook and masha and steve and am i really a belonging part of their family i may be time to cut ties with them i'm like yes please cut ties with these don't you dare cut ties with them. Are you fucking crazy? No, ma'am. You were not going to cut ties with them. I will see you back at work next year. You get your ass back to work, ma'am. Please leave. So there's no reason to recap this show any longer. Please go. Go. Get out of here. Jeez. So, um, so basically we go back to the wedding and Cole's holding a little baby girl. And he's like, see, look, I could be maybe a good day in case. Look at me holding this little baby girl. What you, what's your fucking

man, no one works harder than Stephen in this family. You're yawning at a baby call. Oh, yeah. Like, look, I'm going to be a good girl dad. Girl dad. No, you're like a beat. Man, Stephen and I raised four good sons. Oh, sorry, I didn't let you finish there.

I just heard a dot dot dot, dot. So I kept on. No, keep going, please. I beg up you. Stephen, I raised four good sons. One of them was just stood up. the other one was wasted before the vows were even said the other one I don't really know much about him does anybody know much much about Braden we never talk about him much and Jesse's hot so you know we did a good job so then we see the sparkler the great sparkler thing instead of rice my sister did this at her wedding where everybody was given sparklers uh-huh to you know do instead of rice so they all go through this arch of sparkles which is such a pretty idea.

Unfortunately, we bought ours at some, like, janky fireworks stand, and they looked like sticks off of trees. I mean, they were huge, and there was a lot of fire. There was so much smoke. I'm surprised we didn't burn my sister to death. And then we couldn't even see her leaving. It was like a magic show. There was some.

Oh, that's so hilarious. It was violent. It was a violent day. So now it's two weeks later. back at the farm. Cattle's running, meat's trimming, cabine's cutting. And now it's time for a meeting with the boys.

All right, everyone. Let's gather in the barn, okay? All right, everyone, I want everyone to cross your arms because I will cross my arms just so you put your hands on your hips and Cole, you just sort of stand there in a strange position because you don't know which one you're going to do.

All right, great. You all ready? Now, I'm about to tell you all something very serious and try not to get distracted by the adorable cats. that's jumping around behind me through this entire scene. Okay, can you do that? Can we all do that? Cole, you're looking at the cat.

I know you're looking at the cat. I can see it on your eyes. Oh, no, looking at anything. You're, okay, you're dangling a toy for the cat. Please, focus on this, okay? I just got a call. It's about something I've been keeping from y'all. It's dad.

Dad and I didn't want to make it a big deal in case this problem went away, but it's looking like it's not going to go away. It turns out we got the tests. Cole is actually our brother. We were hoping that maybe DNA-wise, turns out he's not related to us. We could kick him out. He's one of us.

Sorry, everyone. That's the bad news. We were hoping the father of Cole with that old knobby tree with a big hole in the trunk down the road. But unfortunately, it was dead. So, yeah, coal's ours. So also, we've been under FBI investigation, no bigs. You know, the crop years, those crop years, 2018 to 2020. And it turns out we turned over all our records.

Hopefully not the Stevie Nix. No, Cole. The paperwork. Oh. And they went through them and there may be prison time involved for who for dad for doing what? Crop shit, Cole, crop shit. No, soybeans I hold those, them's my babies, school dad, soybean dad. Now, Cole, things have already gotten bad.

Apparently word got out that your favorite color when you were a child was pink and we are already pretty embarrassed as a family about that. And the next thing, you know, dad's holding a pink bag. Things are going downhill for us, okay? But this is a disease and it is spreading. Do you understand? Get the town out here. If you want to keep your soybeans, you will keep, you'll put up a straight wall. Okay.

Now, since all of our, oh, Jesse's like, since all of our names were on the business, is it just that involved? Yeah, it's just dad. Okay. Well, how long have you guys known about this for the last year or so? Dad is under the worst pressure I've ever seen him in my entire life. And he has not been the same. And it's taken a toll on him. Okay.

I don't know what will happen with the rain result. We have no. Like literally we actually lost power to the combine. So if you want to drive it to the next town, you have to wait a little bit. Jesse is pretty calm for someone who just found out their fucking brother who was trying to force a pre-nup on his wife, on the brother's wife. That's so ridiculous. He's making this whole big stink this whole time about a pre-nup. And meanwhile, dad's probably fucked up the business for good.

You asshole. I would be so pissed. And also to let somebody get married and not tell them like, hey, my dad might be going to do. jail who knows how this might leak out on all the rest of us like don't you think you should maybe tell the person who's about to get married yeah you would think fucked up yeah so cole's like i'm scared to death about this this is the worst thing i've seen happen in my life well next to the time that hill tried to sass off to me and i had to punch it in this face didn't like that very much now it's not the worst thing the family scene the worst thing the family seen was my mama's

birthday when I got in a speed on did a cannibal into the lake, but it's pretty bad for me. So Jesse is like, hearing this is a lot to take in at once. And now it all makes sense. And then we see flashbacks of like all season of Stephen saying things like, there are more things going on that you can even realize. The stuff that I'm dealing with dad, you don't even realize. You don't even know when the FBI comes and knock it and returns that dad's under under investigation. That's a lot we have to do. And you don't even realize what we're doing back there. It's a secret by the way you don't know what i just said like he but also stephen is the type of person who to walk around and they'll always say that shit no matter what even if there was no investigation

like you don't even know what i'm dealing with i'm doing a lot over here i'm doing i'm doing a carwash there is so much going on behind the things that you don't even know um so now thunder rumbles and we go to home footage and we see casey and cole going to the hospital to have their little bundle of disappointment in its future. I see a lot of disappointment in your future, kid. Good luck. And then we see Cole. He's like, yeah, there's a lot of tough times.

But when I hold Blair, everything goes away. Yes, like hope for humanity. And then Cole is, he calls smiling with that big gap tooth smile. of his and then um everyone's hugging holding the baby sweet little baby blair and then uh stephen is telling us that like slating a sentencing is slated for march but it's being pushed back to to ma in downtown kansas city federal courthouse and my end goal is to make sure that this farm remains here not only for our kids but our kids kids kids kids kids and our kids goats and things like that and to carry on this next generation and to have a legacy it puts one hell

of burden on my shoulder to keep this family farm alive Yep. I want this jail not to only send my father to prison, but all of his grandchildren. And I'm going to make it happen. You watch. And that's it. And then we see on-screen updates. Galena's still working for the Mick Bees. I knew she wouldn't quit. Stephen Jr. and Caller are done. He hasn't been on a second date with anybody. Cole and Casey have not made plans to get married. And he hasn't been back to Nashville. And Jesse and Allie have been living together. And they welcome their baby girl named Summer. Mm-hmm. And Stephen Sr. pleaded guilty to insurance fraud, and he's waiting on sentencing.

He's facing up to 30 years in prison, which you might have already known because Stephen said a million times, he's facing 30 years out to prison. So. Now, let me tell you one thing about prison. They got doors that don't dribble. See you next year. And that brings us to the end of the McBeed Odyssey, season two. Two, what a show.

I hope it wins everything this year. I hope it wins Emmys. She'll give it a Grammy. That's some good songs too. They had a lot of songs. Well, yeah, that's the end of McB Dynasty. Glad that for those who are the fans of it, I'm glad you guys had it. Thank you.

Those who love it, love it. And so I'm happy for those who love it. And another show, another show is done. So thanks everyone for being here and listening to it. Now we just pivot into the fall slate on Bravo. Yeah, here we go, everybody. Have a good one. We'll talk to you soon.

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