Watch What Crappens - #2997 RHOC S19E10 Part One: Beverly Shrillbillies

Episode Date: September 12, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recapHalf of The Real Housewives of Orange County head to wine country so Tamra can get back in the good graces of those she’s shown fatty photos of and those she’s called drunk c words. Meanwhile, Heather tries to buy some friends and prove to everyone she never called the papz by getting a pap to take their pictures. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. What's what happens when there's so much than crappins. and welcome to Watch What Crapins? I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there. Hey, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

Good. I went to the ballet last night, so I feel very cultured today. It's a lot of people dancing on their toes, jumping up in the air and stuff. So nice. I love that you felt cultured before you had to then sit down and watch Tamara take everyone to Temecula for wine taste. I did. I went to the ballet, and then I came home and watched Tamara and was like, I don't know. I think I prefer my culture. I prefer the Orange County. No, the ballet was great,

but I was sitting there watching it thinking, God, my backwards just from sitting down. Like I was sitting down. I was like, out of my back. I was like, you're sitting down. Like, what do you want to lay down at the ballet? No, sir, you have to at least sit down. And I was still in pain. I don't know how those people do it. That's a lot of work. Yeah, ballet is, it's hard. It's really hard. Yeah, what the hell? And then I had to come home and listen to Jen. and talk about her disgusting, quote, unquote, fatty photo. I was like, really? Now I have to hear it from you, and that's not even a fatty photo.

So, I don't know, it basically scrambled my brain. But today is Real Housewives of Orange County Day. It's a Friday, which is always very exciting in these parts, because I'm sure a lot of your parts, oh, all your parts is exciting in your parts, guys. It's Orange County today. Monday is Amazon Live Day, which is going to be super fun. That's at 4 p.m. Pacific time. Okay, every other Monday.

And then when we're not doing that at 5.30 Pacific time, we're doing crappy hour on Mondays, which is on the YouTube and the Patreon for free and the Instagram. So check those at. If you want times and all that, just check our social Instagram. Okay. I was reading that social is ruining the country right before this. I was reading an article because you know the shooting and all that stuff. They're like, oh my God, social media is ruining the country. And I was like, no, the country is ruining the country. We need social media to see what Jim Padranti is breaking down about. So let's not get rid of social media quite yet. I need it. Yes.

Well, on that note, let's dive into today's episode, which deals with much happier topics, such as Shannon going to the dermatologist's office. I got her face injected. Sophie, look at this. That's hilarious. I'm getting an injection. I'm getting an injection just the way your father got an injection of slut. Five years ago. Is this numbing?

Is this numbing? Just like that blonde slut on the beach got an injection of David, David, David, David. Yeah, she's getting some Botox. And this is, oh, I've got Miami notes open. Wrong show. Wrong show. I was like, I don't care what happens. Mary Sol is at fault.

Well, I would, I just want to say that if people don't follow Jeddickett, you're not on the plane. Wait, what am I even saying? Is this what I normally say? Jeddicate, am I right? It's a new term. I made it up. Jet ticket. That's next.

If you ever follow Marcus Jordan again, it will cost you a lot. I don't normally say this. That's what's happening. So her daughter's there is Sophie and Sophia, Sophia, I don't know. And Sophie is cringing. She's like, oh my God, needles. Shut up. You know, it's so easy to be 20 years old and be like,

ugh, we're even doing that to yourself. Shut up. The second you get one fucking crow's eye, your ass is going to be sitting right in that chair. I don't even want to hear it from the youth. I remember when we started this show and I was like, you know, I'm never going to get plastics. I'm not going to do any.

That's ridiculous. Yeah, I was a young child back then. Now I'm like, what can you do? What can you cut off? How much is it? Can I do it by myself at home? I'm like looking up at YouTube's like, how do I get rid of my waddle with a knife and some, you know,

like with a chef's knife and some string. I'll do whatever I can. Okay. Yeah. Just sew it up like a football. So actually, I think Shannon says something that feels like feels quite poetic. She says, oh, Sophie's not with the faces. It's fine.

I have no issues. This is life. Needles. Yeah. That should be a t-shirt. This is life. Needles. It's true.

That's what we need to be teaching our children. Yeah. I'll tell you what isn't life. My life is pain. Life is needles. Just shut the fuck now. If you want your face to move, then. shut the fuck up and get this needle.

I'll tell you what life were, is I wish life were those things that, you know, they take, you know, when you like, when you trash something at the junkyard and they have those compressors,

they just squish it down into a little metal, little pancake, you know, to save space. I wish life were that. And it happened to Ryan's, his cyber truck.

Because of course this guy has a cyber truck. Of course. We cut to Ryan and Jen, washing his cyber truck. truck like of course i mean i mean first rule of cyber truck is that you also wear denim with paint splatters on it i mean everyone knows that but here he is washing washing this or as he calls it the cyber beast ugh uh praying praying that there is a safe no one gets hurt totaling of the scar a trash compactor i saw that final destination movie the most recent one someone got killed

in the trash compactor. And I was like, what a way to go. What a way to go. Listen, if you're messing around, if you're near a trash compactor, you know you're going to get final destination, right? Like, there's certain things where it's like, okay, like a board game falls over and it knocks a picture frame into a camera lens. And the camera lens rolls and knocks a glass of water into an outlet and get electrocuted

in. Okay, that's a freak accident. But if it was a good round, because they even saw it coming. They were like, oh, no, it's a truck. Get out of the way. get out of the way the garbage truck and they're like oh my god we're saved but then this girl started jogging in like a baseball hit her in the head and she fell into a trash can which flipped her into the they flipped it over into the it was so stupid and amazing and yes i that's actually hilarious

it's like slapstick now yeah the final destination so it's like the most fun ways to die but yeah i was thinking about that with the cyber truck it was shove it in there you know get that final destination for sure washing the cyber beast that man is going to cheat on you if you if there weren't already the signs of you that man was cheating with you in the parking lot of the gym already that he will cheat on you in the future this man has this man will cheat on you he's going to cheat on you yeah within two years i'm going to say within two years from now yeah um i think carry underwood is like ready to write a song about him it's not even before he cheats it's like when during and as he continues to cheat that will be her

next song yeah he's probably already cheating so So then we go to Heather's penthouse and they're, she's got a bunch of like Fendi delivered to her because she's so rich. Yes. Look at my fabulous penthouse life with my husband. We have hilarious rapport. Oh, no. He's seeing me open up the packages. He's not supposed to see that.

That is bad. The joke is that husbands don't like when wives shop all the time. It might affect our sex. Sexy times, which we are currently having in our other penthouse upstairs that is only for sexy times. You see, in comedy, they have a concept called set up and punchline. And the setup is, we are in a penthouse, and he is a doctor earning money, and I'm spending his money too much. And he doesn't realize, but he caught me. And therefore, what we have is a comedic moment that happens.

Yes, I am taking him back. So back at the dermatologist, now Sophie's getting a facial and the esthetician's like, you're going to look like a glazed donut. Oh, really? General, either, probably. Sorry, this is my scene. So I don't get it in there. So I don't know why everybody's so mad at me.

I don't know why. Mother, stop biting my face. Oh, I heard something about a glazed donut. I'm so sorry, daughter. So Shannon's like, I will absolutely encourage my girls to do the most natural. anti-aging procedures because we know facelifts are expensive. That was a joke, a callback. So when I received what I thought was a gift for a facelift and turned out it was alone by a pathetic man who's now marrying a pathetic woman.

Thank you. I'll tell you what was free. The boyfriend lift, which Alexis Molino gave me. So enjoy your lifted boyfriend. Stolen, boyfriend, bitch. killer. So Shannon's like, I will absolutely encourage my girls to do the most natural anti-aging procedures because, yes, Ben already said that line. So in the waiting room, um, Shannon picks up a call and it's from, tell my best. Where are you right now? I just got a facial. Well, hey, I'm calling

you for an actual reason. Not just to say hi. I wanted to invite you the private resort on a vineyard and peculiar because it's like a 24-hour trip. It's going to be me, you, she's going to be me, you, And you know how it's just girlfriends, we're in girlfriends and girlfriend things. I don't know if you're going to tell the difference between me and Sharon because she's a stalker and she's trying to look just like me, but whatever, dumb bitch. Come on, Shannon. Shannon has a look on her face like she is in fact participating in final bestination

because she knows if she tries to avoid this, like Tamara will come for her. It's like it's inevitable. She will be put into an emotional trash compactor because you cannot avoid Tamara. She's like, well, oh, I, okay, well, I guess I could do, I guess I could do that. Thank you for the invitation. She's like, clearly does not want to do this, but knows, like, she has to. She absolutely has to do this. And yeah, she's already, she's already, like, preparing mentally for how horrible this will be.

Oh, come on, Shandy. It's a gigantic house. It's a swimming pool. You could wear your bikini. It's going to be so funny. We can't take your picture in there. Bikini. Come on, Shannon. It's going to be a bitch. I'm not really very excited about a bikini. Oh, well, you don't have to. I mean, if you're a

woozy, bitch you could if you're a big son, woman didn't mind. Come on, let's take your bickson of the bikini, Shannon. Come on, do you want to go? Because I think it'd just be great just to reunite and have some fun. It's going to be so much fun, bitch, to make you loud. Oh, okay, well, have a good day. You know, I'm very hesitant to go on this trip. I just want to, I just want to hang up the phone, but like she is trying to do. trying to better herself, which matters. And my concern is going on the trip is, I don't know which Tamara I am going to get.

Am I going to laugh like I did in New Orleans with her? Or am I going to cry and sob like I did in New Orleans with her anytime I was with her? So then we go to Amina, a clothing and lifestyle store. And Emily's here. So Emily is shopping with Tamara. And she's like, wow, it's so expensive. Wow, it's good to be expensive, right? I'm just so tired because Annabelle had a chair competition this morning

and I have a son who might possibly have autism. What am I supposed to do? What are I supposed to do? Yeah, I saw on Instagrams. That was hilarious. So Emily's like, yeah, Gina was there too. I mean, normally they're not doing the same time, but we hung up. Yeah, I can find another person who's going through it like me.

So Emily's saying this really compelling story about how she went were a cheer cheer meat, but then Gina was there too, and they were both there. It was exciting. So then Emily tells us, and by the way, I tell you, any, any mom of a cheerleader knows this pain, you know, and I don't like to, I don't like to have anything in common with Emily because I find her painfully annoying, but I do keep sandwiches in my purse. And also I've done, I've gone to a lot of these cheerleading competitions, Ben, they are hell. They are hell on wheels, okay?

You have to wake your kid up. They put all this, you should see, have you seen the kids? at these cheerleading, have you seen the makeup and the hair, the aquanette alone, the ribbons, the hair? I mean, it's ridiculous. They do get up hours early and then the moms go out there and the dads have to wear their pink sparkle t-shirts and stuff. Everybody gets really into it. And you were there all fucking day surrounded by screaming, obnoxious little beasts, you know, and then they get out there and you're like, holy shit, how do these kids have this much talent? What the hell? My back hurts sitting down. I'm always thinking that.

Yeah. It seems like an awful activity. So Emily tells us for something that's called cheer, it really seems to elicit a lot of growth. It doesn't induce a lot of that. It does not. So Emily, I want to give some props to Emily because obviously she has an interview look this season. That's not her finest. We've all seen it.

And I think we're all just trying to be polite about it. But it's not a great look for her. She debuted a new interview look. that actually is like pretty banging. So I'm like, I'm happy to see that her pendulum swung the other way. So I just want to give her props. I think people deserve their flowers when they,

when they grow them. So I'm going to give her some props for that before I probably totally thrash her the rest of the episode. I don't even notice. It is like watching the trash compactor scene of final destination. Because when an Emily look, a new Emily look comes on, I just close my eyes.

Like I'm not, I can't. I'm all. The one she's rocket this year. That one, the ponytail is like there's certain housewives looks over the years that just go in they just sort of go in the books like we'll always remember teresa with the big like mad max shoulders and i mean that's to me like the chief number one like misstep i don't know i'm trying

i can't even think of actually any other like really really bad ones but this emily one is right up there i have to say and and gretchen too but really the emily one yeah so now we're at The Brant, Kitchen and Bar. And Gina is going to have lunch with... Shannon, Shannon. We're just... Look at us. What a group.

It's this the first time. We've ever been together. I think so. Probably. This is it the last time. Hopefully. Can we get Marilyn Monroe in here? Please.

I only had 15 minutes to get dressed. That's the name of every Gina look of all time. I know. That's her vision board. She is like... She is the Rachel Ray of styling. Fifty minutes or less. No shit.

Sorry, I'm sorry you were not able to make a hote-cature look for this Mozambique adjacent restaurant. You guys are at right now. The brand. And Jen's like, oh, well, thank you so much for coming. I mean, you're such a hot to your mom. Look at you. Look at you. You're so hot.

And you're so cheer. Thank you. We're doing a second place. And Annabelle's on two teams. And she was like, oh, Emily was here too. So Gina's like, yeah, Emily loves like cheerleading and she was like a cheerleader. And like I loathe cheerleading. Like, but Sienna's so fucking happy and she's so nice to me.

Like, I've got spirit. Yes, I do. And then we see a picture of Emily as a cheerleader, I guess in junior high or something. And you really see the difference that 20 years makes or 30 years. whatever it is because those girls didn't have to do their hair and their makeup like that i mean she came out with all stringy hair and shit like she was just like i just got off i guess we'll do some cheering go go siskin bah or whatever and now it's cold in here there must be a new hip in the atmosphere there must burr it's cold in here there must be a chicken sandwich in my purse there is

there is sorry girls my team is a two and a sandwich and we're going to eat you up. So they order and they do very Orange County ordering. Oh, well, we'll have the asparagus fries. Asparagus fries. We'll have, oh, I'm an odd atoll. We'll have, um, we'll have, um, how about just a piece of lettuce, um, with the side of ranch, but put the side of ranch on the other table.

I don't want to be tempted. Um, do you, do you have sweet potatoes? Now, can you actually peel those sweet potatoes for me? Great. You will take the sweet potato peels and nothing else. Thank you so much. Thank you. So they make small talk.

And then Shannon mentions, well, Jen mentions, I guess, Tomecula first. Temecula. Temecula. Tomecula doesn't sound pretty. I don't like the name of the place, but it looks very pretty. Have you ever been to Temecula? I have been to Temecula. It is pretty.

I went to a corn maze there. They used to have a giant corn maze. I don't know if they still do it. And then I went to some wineries afterwards. It was nice. But it was like definitely like, it's got like trashy nice if that makes sense. Like we went to one like wine.

We went to like, we went to different vineyards. There's one vineyard that was like gargoyles and it was like a weird and evil fantasy theme. I was like this is strange. But, um, yeah, it was weird.

But I think the name Temecula just does not sound. Not sound bougie or whatever. like we're going to mecula yeah it needs to be like a santa something right like oh we're going to santa cruz santa barbara santa something so when jen says i like when jen says i said yes to temecula because i feel like that is actually so much of what her persona is i mean i feel like ryan is like temecula she's like when she says i said yes to temecula that's like her saying i also said yes to the cyber truck i said yes to ryan i said yes to bikini beach wedding I don't want to answer the question because I'm just not, I don't, I'm not ready for, you know, I can't go back to the friendship.

I just can't do it. I'm good with you sitting where I am right now, right now, right here. Do you think we could move tables, actually? It's very, very warm right here with the sun coming in. I just had face stuff done. I need a, I need a cushioned seat, actually, so I wonder if we actually could move. So we go back to Tamara. We're going to cross cut between the scenes.

Tamara's like, so I decided to take a few girls. specula and I invited Shannon to go. And when I called her, the girl was a hot mess. Her head sticking up. Her boobs are spilling out of a show. Look, she looks stupid. I'm like, she was getting facial work done. What are you trying to, what, Kate, like, you cannot act like you're trying to build a

bridge with Tamara while you're also, with Shannon while you're also building a case against her, like already setting the establishing a tone. She's psycho. Look at her. She's drunk and she's out of sorts. We looked at your green face for like three weeks on social media last year, okay? Like, stop coming. Shannon over this.

It's so funny, though. It's so Tamara. Yeah, I bought a Shannon to make up. She looks so ugly and stupid. I'll be my friend again, ugly bitch. So she's and also when she says her boobs are spilling out of her shirt, Shannon's shirt was like up to here.

It was like up to her. Is that your navel? What is this part? Your collarbone? It was like up to her collarbone. And Shannon's like, oh my God, picture boobs away. She's like, well, I'm getting up.

treatment. So, you know, okay. It's the bra. It's just, it's the bra. I'm out of sorts because they've turned my daughter into a donut. I don't know if I'm happy or sad about that. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. It's your man, Nick Cannon. I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at night. I've heard y'all been needing some advice in the love department. So who better to help than yours truly? Now, I'm serious. Every week, I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man, we got you. Catching feelings for your sneaky link?

Let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non-judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, friendships, situations, and everything in between. It's going to be sexy, freaky, messy, and you know what? You'll just have to watch this show. So don't be shy. Join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night

or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad-free? Join Wondery Plus right now. Yeah, I said, hey, Shannon. I was all like, and I was all like Epi and like, you know, and she was like, oh, I was like, we're going to do this and this and this. And she's like, huh, huh. I'm like, why are you as, it was a perfectly benjamin.

nine phone call. And Shannon's response was totally normal. And she was probably thinking, wow, I'm I'm FaceTiming with Tamara and she's probably going to make fun of my appearance now. So she's probably guarded. And guess what you're doing, making fun of her appearance. And so she says, yeah, I guess my delivery was bad last year with Shannon. Okay, my delivery was bad. I wish she had put in, you drunk up in this stupid Bitch, I hope you're down the fire, you dumb ugly twat. But they didn't. And so she's like, yeah, I feel so bad about it. But, you know, we've got history there.

We've been friends for some of mine. I like the strawberry history. So, you know, I could be a friend if you just stop holding the grudge. Well, Tamara is never what she did. It's always just the, you just keep holding on to it. If you could just let it go, we could get on with this. Come on, keep it moving. There are a lot of things that have history.

And just because you have history does not mean that's a good history. Okay. You can look at various regions of the world right now that have a lot of history. And it's not working out so well, okay? Girl, literally read history. It's not a happy story. Okay. Have you been to Europe?

You know what? I need a, yeah. No one's like, I need a feel good read today. I'm going to read history. Like, she's like, we have history. Yeah. And your history is of you two fighting for tenure. straight okay yeah so um now we just have a little bit about it yeah stupid bitch

stama's like so then she goes okay thank you like yeah what else that you want her to say someone's like well sounds like it'll be a fun trip huh i'm gonna do something a lot more fun which has have a very orchestrated and unpleasant and cold sleepover in beverly hills but we'll get to that later. Oh, have fun. So then at the other place, Shannon's like, well, I called my therapist before I came here. And she said, um, would you like that biggie sized? But it might say, hold on a second. So I called my real one. And she said, well, you've been very clear that you are able to exist with boundaries. And you should not go on this trip. Absolutely not. So I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Because the girls are like, well, you should come for me. I mean,

do you should come for me. We're so close, aren't we? We don't want to be stuck alone with her. Okay, please come with us with us. And that's what she said. She said, well, my, you know, I said to her. I said, my friends are going to say, you know, come for us. We'll be there. We'll have fun. And then my therapist said, ma'am, this is the kind bar rolled headquarters. There was not an actual therapy office. And I said, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to call you by accident. But do you have any customer service agents? I would like another shipment. And they said, ma'am, you have to get off the phone. Anyway, so I'll be going to Temecula.

so yeah they talk her into it and then back at the store emily's like way so you invited shannon who else is going to come ah chan and jina you know i'm the best girl fans um and so tamera's like yeah shana's going to be a tough one to crack but gina can be the mediator girl jina has started most of the fights that you're in with everybody because jina got jina and emily go around stirring the pot how in what world is gina going to be a mediator for anybody that can be reliable come on she is not she is a median that drunk drivers crash across she's a medianator she's not she is not i do not want to rely on gina for this gina so to be a mediate she's just a mediator she just survives to be mid

So Emily is like, well, by the way, you should have taken Gretchen, too. And then it could have just been a whole kumbaya bonding moment for your, Tamara. Tamara's like, yeah, that's a bit too much for me right now. So then back at the other restaurant, Jen is like, you know, if she's really taking the time, Shannon and working on herself, then let's be here. We're the bigger people. Yeah, literally, bitch. Hey, who said that? We've definitely got the biggest triangular trucks.

So, thank you so much. So Gina's like, clearly there's things like you have behind the surface. So let's like look at it like an opportunity to possibly clear some things out. Okay? Let's like keep it like. Like you could wear a sun hat. Like, oh, yeah, that's fine men for you. That's fine men for you.

We'll just sit in gym parking lots and wait for someone. Someone will show up. I'm sure of it, Shannon. I believe in you. I believe in you, Shannon. Shannon, open the snack hole. Dusted off. Are we talking about my purse?

What do you mean the snack hole? No, the snack hole. you know, the granola crucci. You know what I'm talking about? I'm not following. Is that's a slang of some sort? Your vagina. What?

How, Jen! Well, that was a lot. It's a lot, Jen. A snack hole? I don't know either. The fuck is a snack hole. Isn't a vagina? The rest of the gym machine.

You know. The rest of the the rusty coil so then yeah I can't think about it it's breaking my brain my brain is melting out of my ears

so then we go to podcast one where Heather do bro is recording a pot okay this is the most horrifying fucking shot to open this scene

it's a close up of Heather's I'm going to do it for crappins on demand I had nightmares on I went to bed this is Heather's face close up on a giant poster in her podcast it's like it is I know exactly what it is what is that look she's I'm like please don't hurt me please I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I brought your water to the table too late ma'am it's like the look that every busboy gets when he messes up you know the the plating or whatever the breading of the table yeah it's very much it's sort of like

reminded me of like the post art for Fright Night growing up. So, um, so Heather's like, Steve, Steve, can I check the headset level? Is Alfredo here? Can Alfredo check the levels for me? Anyone? Hello? Testing one, two, three. Testing one, two, three. Televisions, Heather Debrough, testing one, two, three, one, two, three. Steve, Steve, it's Steve, right? Um, my name is Joanne. Steve, okay, could you check the levels? rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich do we have it okay from the top rich rich rich rich rich rich rich like i always tell my like i always tell my servants how many paces they

have to stand behind me three two one okay we're live uh so she's like i've always done my podcast in beverly hills but ever since we've moved back to l.A it's opened incredible doors for me I feel like I've been given a very special opportunity to use this podcast to promote voices that don't usually get heard. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having. Not you. Please get out of here. Not you, Jen.

So in walks, Dylan Mulvaney and sits down for the podcast. And she's like, okay, everyone, let's talk with Heather Dubrow starts now. Well, my guest today, I've known her for a while. She's the most fabulous person. Please welcome Dylan Mulvaney. And so Dylan's like, hi, how's it going? Whatever. And of course, somewhere Gretchen Rossi was having a very difficult time listening to this episode, I'm sure.

Let me just say, Dylan Mulvaney shows up in full Heather Dubrow cosplay, which I loved. I mean, dressed just like her, acting just like her. It was weird. They were like sisters. And she's like, oh, Heather, I just, where did we meet Heather? I forgot where we met. Where was it again? Oh, Kathy Hilton's house.

Of course. God, I'm over there all the time. I just love old Kath, don't you? Oh, sure. Sure, very much. You know what was fun? Do you remember when I turned around to introduce you to Reba McIntyre? But then we realized that Reba wasn't invited.

And Dylan's like, yeah, she was like one of the first celebrity. I ever met. You know, she's like, I would have sworn you were a cis woman. I mean, you know, she didn't say sis, but I was just like, just was just one of those pinch me moments. And well, oh gosh, you know, you played my, remember, you played my mom in a, in a music video. Well, you know, of course I did. Syracuse University. I was the lead in anything goes. I guess anything went. That was great role. Thank you so much, Jill and for offering it to me. Oh, it just makes me so emotional, Heather. I mean, not every woman in this town would do that for me. you know transness is very polarizing and so is portem isn't it god yeah those extremists also want

to make someone like you scared to support someone like me and it's so funny because so many people are just generally scared to even be near me so i understand i don't understand transness per se but i do understand people being terrified of you isn't it great no no i don't mean in that way I mean, really. Every time I walk into a room, cleaning ladies, start running around. You know, last week a gardener hid behind a bush as I came down the walk. It felt so good. I said, Alfredo, get back to work. Stop hiding from that bush. Oh, man. You know, every mom is worried about their children's safety.

So am I concerned about the world and how they perceive the queer community? Yes, I'm worried. And just like I always tell Gretchen Rossi. So lovely to see you again. again. Anyway, back to this. I know. I was like, you might want to start in your own backyard. Although Gretchen, you know, is trying to repair her shit reputation that she's earned by following, letting Slade go on her Instagram and follow random queer accounts.

It's like Gretchen, Gretchen Rossi, now following queer news. Oh, really? Wow. They'll be branching out there, Gretchen. Oh, Gretchen. Hey, everybody. This is just me. Just me hanging out with seven of my closest Asian friends in Orange County. God, I love Asians.

This is so fun. However. Right after she got in trouble for her, you know, shitty posts that she did with Jets on there. I think these people. These people, I know. And next week they're going to a, it's Gretchen going to a gay bar. So we'll see how that goes. I was like, I was rooting for you, Gretchen.

I was really enjoying your comeback. Well, to be fair, I was never rooting for you. So that felt good. Well, you know, it's like that whole, like the enemy of my enemy is my friend. But then when you find out that your friend has problematic for you, as you're like, well, now what? So Heather is like, anyway, I know that my kids are lucky because they have a supportive family. They have resources.

They have yachts. They have two penthouses, an apartment, all in the same building. But I know a lot of kids don't have those things. They usually only have one penthouse. So it's difficult. I'm sure it's very difficult for those children. I don't speak to them, but I'm sure that it's difficult. That's my handout.

Godiva chocolates to the poor. So basically, Heather's like, I'm going to do what I can to stand up for the It's just trans people I can find. So it was actually a nice scene. So she goes a very nice scene. She says, by the Dylan. But yeah, you got to make fun of my other scene. So then we go to Mission Viejo Animal Services.

Oh, my God. Please say you have someone hot to help us. I don't know what Emily has done to her face like lately, but she's, I think, over-injected because I don't know if you notice, but in these scenes, like one of her eyes is kind of more closed and they're kind of crying at all times. She's like crying the whole episode. Like she doesn't even know it. I don't even know what she's focusing on.

What's happening over there? It's just, there are just so many things that are wrong with this one look. And by the way, my eyes haven't worked right for two months now since I got my shit done. So it's not even really a judgment as much as like, what is it? How much did it cost? And what are the benefits?

And where can I get it? So I'm literally looking for it. answer. It's, yeah, it's like a welder's mask. It's a welder's mask with a little gap in the middle. That's sort of what's happening. Anyway, I swear I'm a good person. So Emily is like, oh, I'm a good, hi, I'm Emily. Nice to meet you. I'm here. Um, I'm here to help with dogs and cats. And she's, and she's saying they're just, they're going to help with animals and everything. So she's, They have to go to like, they wind up going to the catery, which I loved because the cats were so cute. And they wind up and Jenna is there helping Emily and they're cleaning out poop, which is again, another visual metaphor on the show except the poop.

The litter box never seems to get quite clean. It does it on Real House House of Orange County. Yeah. So they're they're volunteering and cleaning up and stuff and they've got like a semi hot guy and he walks him around. He's like, okay, guys. Well, here's your next volunteering opportunity. Playing with puppies. Like, oh, thank you so much. I just love playing with puppies. I'd have so many pets. I've got like five, six, seven, eight, ten, twelve, thirty cats at a time.

It's, it's great. Like, yeah, it's going to leave me. Do you think Bryant's cheating on me? Yes, I definitely do. Can I see a picture of him? Yes. None that is cheating on you. You know, the catar is nothing.

Okay, be a mom, vomit, boogers, human poop, you know, paint on denim, cyber trucks. It's really easy. was literally he dumped a cup of roly polis in my peanut butter and jelly sandwich i mean i could go on for days like wait why did he have a cup of roly polis and like why did you let him get so close to your like was the sandwich open face were you in the process of making it like how did there was a failure of parenting before this happened i'm telling you this right now there was a kid walking around with the cup collecting roly polis and when his mom wasn't looking put some roly pulleys in the sandwich i mean come on he's a boy ben what do you think

And that boy grew up to be a young man who could teach some middle-aged women how to play volleyball on the beach. So they are cleaning out the catarie and then they go, they play with a bunch of insanely cute dogs. But you know, this is what always happens. You know that all these like shelters and these very good organizations, whenever like a TV camera shows up, they're like, get the cute ones out front. Come on, get the cute ones. Get the three-legged one back in the trunk. All right. I don't want to look at the reputation of the orange candy cantery.

Come on. They all become like the stage moms. They become gypsy rosalie for all these animals like, come on. Yeah, they're like perming their hair during all their makeup, spraying their hair. So now they're talking about Luke again. And she's like, I just count. I don't have the proper vocabulary about Luke. I don't know what to do, but we're not being very good parents.

We're going to get divorced. I'm leaving him. I'm leaving Jane. I'm leaving him. Oh, just do it already. You've been saying this for six years. And, you know, then we see a flashback of, like, Luke is sitting at the table.

And Emily tells Luke to sit up. I don't remember exactly what she said, but she said in a way that was like, sit up. And I was like, you know, you're putting your child on blast on this on TV for talking, like having baby talk. But I just watched you give your child baby talk.

And Shane is like, okay, like, let's not do that. Like, that's enabling. I'm like, look, parenting, I don't know. I don't know anything about parenting. But as far as like, from what I'm seeing on, on this show, it's like maybe don't talk to your child like a baby. If you don't want your child to talk like a baby back to you. I'm just going to put that out there. Um, and whether it's my place to or not, it's probably not my place.

But you know what? It's a podcast. So, you know what? Well, yeah. It's, it's just the examples they're showing. I'm just not, I guess I'm just not seeing what she's seeing. because to me it just looks like kind of kid behavior. I mean, the behavior that's kind of freaking me out is Emily's behavior, like going on TV and being like, I mean, well, you know, I've got this kid and the other kids don't even like him.

And like, you know, they're annoyed with them all the time. And so I'm trying to. Your kid has to watch this. Like, just shut up. Find something else to do. Go back to get a fucking tuna sandwich in your purse. Like, she's disturbing. I think she's being, I'm not saying anything about the kid because I don't really know.

except what they're showing us on here. But he seems like a perfectly sweet kid that she's... Absolutely. She's... It's her behavior that I'm not liking on the TV. I just don't like it. Yeah, for the kids... The kids, the kid's lovely.

So she says, Luke knows that his brother and sister are irritated by him. And that hurts my heart because then Keller came to me the other day. And he said, Mom, can I go to therapy too? Because I'm just really sad about everything. And I don't have anyone to talk to. So now... I'm like, okay, so it's making me crazy. I want to go pick up those kids in my anti-van and be like, okay, who has feelings?

Let's talk about them, okay? You should not blame anybody but my mother, okay? Well, I mean, look, I mean, in many ways, Emily is giving the gift, the gift that keeps on giving, which is mommy issues for life. so Emily is just saying how she's come to the realization that she focused all her time and attention on Luke and it was actually detrimental to her other children and she thought that they didn't need her as much but actually they do need her in a different way so she's going through that I mean I I'm with you in that like it's uncomfortable to think that these kids may see this someday and this could be actually very damaging for them but you know I also do you know I appreciate that she's being emotionally vulnerable but um you Yeah, it's a, it's a weird one for me. It's definitely a weird thing. I'm glad she came to the realization that she needs to pay attention to all her kids.

There's an emotionally vulnerable. And then there's just like using, using your kids for like plotline and stuff. I mean, Emily's on here sobbing every year about something. You know, it's like every year she picks something new. I'm just like, leave your kids alone. Like, just leave them alone. And I know it's housewives and they talk about their kids. You know, like on Salt Lake City, we see Barry's kid going through stuff.

Like he just got arrested this week. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that people talk about on camera that it's like, but these are little, little kids and having to hear your mom saying like, well, you know, I'm giving, you know, he annoys his brothers and sisters, like they don't really, like they basically don't want to be around him. And I don't know, it's just kind of ostracizing this kid even more. It just seems like you're going to be doing a lot more damage. And I've gotten some messages from people who are like, I've dealt with something that's very similar and it's really hard. It's actually a little hard to hear, you know, like you don't really know what, what, what. it is and it's very, very difficult and it's a little triggering to hear. And I get that 100%, but I also have to just react to what I'm seeing on TV. Like I'm watching this stuff. These are the thoughts going through my mind, whether they are rooted in total bullshit, in total like a guy who has no kids and has no experience in that. That's just that may be, but like it is what I,

it's what I see and it's what I feel. And it's like what's being put out here. And also it's like if Emily doesn't want people sort of like two two guys on a podcast yammer about it, there is an element of like, well, maybe, maybe don't put that on the show. Well, I'm not saying about anything about his future diagnosis, whatever that may be. I'm just saying, Emily's an asshole. It's the same thing I say every day. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

So then we go to Tamara's house and she's with Sophia, who really is a bright light in this world. I've really come to love this Sophia chick. I think she's fine. I think she's so funny. She's fine. I don't have any thoughts either way. I like like alt. I like alt-right teenage daughter who just knows her mom's insane.

And she's just like, oh, God. I'm not alt-right, like Alt-Rock. Could I say Alt-Rite? You said Alt-Rite. I was like, what? No, I'm so sorry. That's Ryan. The, no, I didn't even mean, I guess.

I like that she's all over. She's like an alt-Rock. Joan Jets. Yeah. Yeah. She's just like this rocker girl who knows that her mom's fucking insane and it's just chosen to be amused by it, you know? Because you can see that it's just a decision. Like, okay, this woman's nuts. So I'm just going to choose to smile. So she goes, oh my God, you're packing. Where are you going now? Jesus. God. Mother. Temecula. Where else? Heaven. Heaven. Heaven. Mucula. Where is Macadale? The dreams.

Temecula. When you're feeling down and feeling out, where do you go to macula? When you're feeling sad and feeling bad. Where do you go to macula? You know that song? No. Fuck that song. It's like, Mother, it doesn't even rhyme.

Okay, I'm a songwriter. Now, can we work some cannibalistic references into that? So she wants to wear a certain outfit. And Sophie is like, oh, yeah, it looks like you got dressed in the dark. So then we go to Jen packing with her cyber truck. And then we go to Gina's and Gina's talking to Travis. And he's like, I just want you to know it's not totally normal to just get a brand new wardrobe for every trip you go on, okay? Women and shopping, am I right?

Excuse me, producers. I refuse to film on this show as long as that sort of attitude persists. That is absolutely ridiculous. You know, Heather, like, saw that at home and was horrified at Travis. What does it mean? This is we hide box. This is why we hide boxes from menfolk. Am I right?

So then Shannon is with Archie. Okay, Archie, I'm going to tell you exactly how long I'm going to be gone. One night and two days. So no more late night drunken walking on the side of the street in Newport. Okay, you got that, mister? And Archie just ignores her and goes outside. She's like, Archie, where did you go? And then we just see Archie like getting it on with his stuffed animal.

It's like, yeah, yeah, Temecula brings it out in me. So then we go over to Emily. Another man leaves me behind to have sex with something younger and more attractive. Thank you so much, Archie. Stupid blonde bear on the beach. So then we go to Emily's house and Heather calls. And she's like, well, I'm just sitting here with Luke. He got out of school.

What are you doing? Nothing. I just thought it would be fun to do a little sleepover at my place. Wouldn't that be fun? I've opened the servant's door's entrance for you. I'm going to invite Gretchen and we're going to go out for dinner, maybe go to a bar. You know me. Carefree Heather DeBrow.

It'll be a nice laid-back, simple time where I may put out five platters of hors d'oeuvres and have servants come by and bring us cocktails. Oh, sounds great. I'm so excited to have you. Please only bring a clear purse. Thanks. So Emily's like, all right. Oh, okay.

Now, Luke, you got to watch dad for me. He doesn't do well when I'm not around. Okay. You need to babysit dad. He's like, I need $10. Oh, you want to get to pay to babysit your dad? I think this kid's doing great. Yeah, so far that's his goals.

I know. You know, his business sense is already way better than anything we've seen from Ryan over the past 15 years. No kidding. Yeah. So then back at Tamras, what are the girls, what girls are going? She'd say, oh, well, there's Jen. Really, Jen? Yeah, we made up.

Okay. And Shannon, Shannon's been going. Shannon's going? Yeah, she's been hot and cold with me. Most of cold because she's gross and stupid. You should see, you know what I called her hair, we're taking that shit. boobs everyone with a pet. I got Shannon a book.

If she's going to be a pet, she wants to see it? She's like, oh, God, because the book is called How Not to Be a Miserable Cow. Sophia's like, you really can't help yourself. It's like, it's a self-help book for cows, which is what Shannon is. It's like, Mom. And it's also like a big type, okay?

Because it says how not to be a miserable cow. Don't you get it? Don't you get it? Don't you get it? She's like, Mom, this is a passive, aggressive book. It knows that. And look, because she's so. and she can't read things well. Big font, big font, bitch. And look, it's written by David, David, David, David.

I just gonna love it. It's like, Mom, this is just diss after diss. You're like, oh, you're a miserable human and you're a bitch you can't see. Wow, great, mom. You can't help but be petty. Yeah, it's good at that. Oh, my God, back to my house.

Tamara's relationships with Jen and Shannon are, like, very fragile. And I kind of feel like I'm in the middle of that. And Travis is like, well, you're going to be directly in the middle of that. I understand that. But like the other day, I brought up to her and that I thought it was kind of crappy that she called out Shannon. It was mean to her about the drinking. This is so, Gina. Oh, my God.

I'm like, it's so hard to be in the middle, which is why he went out with Shannon. And I told her, remember that Tamara called you a stupid drug whore all last year? Yeah. So hopefully it's not stressful. Oh, okay. Okay, Gina. So then we see Gina talking to Tamara. And she's like, yeah, you know, last year we're coming from this place, you know, because it's drinking. But like now you're like, but then this year you're pulling away, pulling her away and you sneak away for a cocktail. Like what's going on with that? We see a flashback within the flashback. It's basically inception guys of Tamara pulling Shannon away in New Orleans, like, let's get a quick drink, you know? So Tamara's like, say, so Gina, that's what you're saying. saying is that you don't think that she's better she's an alcoholic she fell off the wagon and then things fell on top of her because she's so steeped and old and you can't read well

she's like no i just kind of like see a creeping kind of bian so which of course is all the ammo that tamera now needs to be like gina said you're an alcoholic later in the episode yeah because that's basically what she's doing she's like oh she's supposed to be better but like i see the old shannon there was never a new shannon why is everybody pretending like there was some old shannon There was some old Shannon and some new Shannon. Shannon didn't stop drinking. She came out of the car crash and asked for a drink. Like, the police records probably show Shannon ordering a bloody Mary in that.

She never stopped. And Archie bringing it to her. Archie, like a little one of the dog butler. It's like a little bit of type of like, woof, you're a cocktail always. Did you have to bring your girlfriend to the jail to visit me, Archie? He's like, oh, sorry. Had to bring this little stuffed bear. I love this girl.

I love her, say Temecula. Say Temecula. Archie. Move Temecula. So now we see Emily picking up Gretchen and she's like, Gretchen, why do you have heels on? She's like, I am so over workout clothes.

So then we see Gina. She's getting into a, into a Tamara's truck with Jen. She's like, oh my God. Like, why am I doing this? I'm like the least fit one here. Where's the Noggins? It's now. Oh, Shannon now.

This is like the season of annoying nicknames, shenanigans, and like, gredgers. Let's talk about gredgers. Let's also, actually, let's talk about this is that, this is the time old tradition that we only see once in a while when castmen members scare off a member of the cast. And then now that they're gone, they have to pretend like, actually, we're so fun. Look that she's gone. We are so fun. We make up nicknames for each other. See America?

Isn't it better now? It's like, yeah. Just a nice, fun, light, real housewise of Orange County. Look, we started calling Shannon Shanigans. We are so hilarious. What a great group of gals we are. So Shannon's bringing two suitcases. Shannon, you're selling 24 hours.

How much you got to bring? Well, one suitcase is full of pants. I just brought a lot of pans. So bedpans, specifically. Oh, my God. This house is so nice. They have pins. Come on, Shannon.

I'm sure there's pants. I'm just gonna put my stuff here into the back just where I am with Archie these days So then She shows off her flippers missing She's missing her flippers So she shows her missing teeth

And John's like wow she's so Proud of that That's weird Shannon Stop showing us your gums I like to be like that Ew, gross It's disgusting I like to be like that stupid tooth

A stupid lady She's got her book call had to be a toothless miserable cow I forgot that way How's she going to chew that card With a tooth missing I can't Like how is she going to get it?

She doesn't even know bullet teeth Like what's going on with her? Yeah Then in the other car God because Emily and Gretchen are so fun Emily pulls out some Fireball. Oh my God.

I love a wow The lackey scene with Fireball, the beverage, the cock, the, the, the liqueur that was all the rage in 2010. So I'm like, look what we got, Fireball. We don't know what tomorrow. I'm going to bring sweet tea vodka too. What more white trash drinks can we got? Heather's going to love it. Yeah, she's going to be so annoyed with us.

Oh, no. So then we see shots of Rodeo Drive and then Heather's penthouse. And she has brought in a sleepover consultant. in Maya, because that's a thing, I guess. And they, she set up like three twin beds with canopies over them. Like, why is there mosquito netting? What's happening? It's like the poison wood biblical.

Yeah, it's like it's so formal and so uninviting as like a sleepover supposed to be cozy and fun in your jammies. And they're supposed to be like, you know, it's like cute. And you go like, it's like in the den or something. There's carpeting and there's like pillows. And instead of others like in like a stark wood like, like hardwood floor room with like big windows and high ceilings like here it is big echoey sleep over time with the canopy beds and then there's all these um jars that she's having them put candy

and she's got all these employees running all over the place sounds nice sleep yeah jars of candy you need a tv and you all need to watch tv and watch music videos late into the night or something like that that's a sleepover yeah so um they've even got mega stuffed Oreos. And Heather's like, that is disgusting. They'll love it. They'll love it. So then back in the car with the girls driving to Temecula, Shannon's like,

oh, so you have a few vines in your backyard. So, I mean, let me look at that. There's some fine. Hey, they've got their own vines. How many bottles of wine does that make? I mean, what's the point? It's a lot of work. Nothing.

What's you talking about? What, he, hey, he got into the trembles. Alcoholic, alcoholic wants to know how many bars of wine the wine. The great big, you're going to grow some great fans, huh? Going to grow up some great fans? John's like, well, you just, you looked at me and you started laughing. What's that all about? She's, oh, just deep thoughts by Shannon.

I mean, what else are you thinking about? So then they made, do this whole funny thing where Shannon is saying, oh, my dad once had an avocado mountain. He bought like a whole mountain and planted avocado trees. He was going to build houses and do more cats so well. I don't think. I actually never saw the mountain or the avocados. Maybe he just, maybe I just heard.

it wrong. I have an avocado. He just said he got a mountain of avocados. He bought like three of them. I love gran. He had an avocado mountain. Well, I mean, it was a mountain that he put the avocados on. I don't think it worked. They kept rolling down.

They just kept rolling down. No one could find the avocados. Then we found out they were rolling to the other side of the hill. My grandfather started a war on that little town. Just get us avocados back. There's no more town. There's no more mountains. My grandfather basically is a

mass murder over avocados. So that was fun. Gosh, still don't order my father guacamole. It's been a rough time. I've just added to fact check Shannon on this story. And by fact check, I mean,

I googled it and Google AI gave me an answer, which who knows. But I said, do avocados grow on mountains? And it says, yes, avocados can grow mountains in specific conditions,

particularly in tropical and subtropical highland areas like Micho Juan, Mexico and parts of Chile, where they benefit from suitable altitudes, rainfall, and cold air drainage that prevents frost damage. However, men's are not universally ideal as high deserts in areas with extreme cold, such as the high mountains in Southern California are generally not suitable due to the harsh conditions. So is a lie, Shannon. Your father lied to you. Unless he had some sort of avocado mountain in Mexico or Chile, I'm going to say. Well, she said it didn't work out so well, so maybe that's why. He didn't, he didn't have the benefit back then of Google AI or whatever.

ever. So he didn't know. Poor guy. Gotcha. Imagine what that must have been like for him. And now he's like, well, God damn it. All I had to do was look it up on the internet in the first place. Gee, you know how many encyclopedias I went through. I, I'm telling you. I failed to my avocado mountain. I failed at it. I'm telling you, Gene the Machine came back from the store with about 12 avocados. He's like, well, honey, look at this. I've got, look at all these avocados. I've got a mountain of avocados right here. But fortunately, they all are too soft. It's just not going to work out so well.

Oh, well. Little baby Shannon just heard that my daddy has a mountain of avocado somewhere. We are rich. I have an avocado tree. Never one avocado has fallen off of there that's edible. They're all like wood inside, which is really weird. And I think the other day, I was standing out there waiting for Bueller to do his business. And I think a squirrel threw an avocado at me.

Do you think that that's possible or is that a bobcat? The squirrel's like, there's a bobcat coming. Look out. Maybe, but I was standing there and I heard a squirrel wrestling up there and I looked up at the squirrel and then an avocado came flying at me and it was like half eaten like they were eating into it. And I was like, did you just throw your half eaten avocado at me? Like, what the fuck, bro? Squirrel's like, I said dance. Avocado mat in my ass.

Dance queen. The first rule of living in Los Angeles. Well, there's many first rules, but I will say today's first rule of living in Los Angeles is if someone ever says, you know, we have an avocado tree in our backyard. Here's an avocado. Just know you'll never be able to eat it because it's always rock hard and it never ripens. And then like it's rock hard, rock hard, rock hard. And then it's just bad. And there's never a window where it's good.

And there's so many people that I've met over the years were like, we have an avocado tree in the backyard. Here's an avocado. It's always the worst avocado you've had in your life. If they offer you a lemon, the lemons are good. Till, like, the lemons are out of control good. There's always lemons, but if it's an avocado, just throw it out. Yeah, it's just a buffet for all the farm animals. I think that's why all the animals around keep coming over, because there's avocados and stuff to eat.

Because I just find half-eaten little wood avocados everywhere. Oh, poor things. Okay, so anybody, anyway, they're making fun of Shannon because she's loony tunes. So then at Heather's penthouse, Emily and Gretchen arrive, and Gretchen's brought a huge suitcase. And Heather's like, oh, my God, Gretchen, that is the biggest suitcase. It's one night, right? We told them one night. Okay.

Please go through the metal detectors. You're going to have to go on the way out. I'm not worried about weapons. I'm just worried. I just want to make sure that you're only coming with cheap things and you're only leaving with cheap things. Not my things. Okay. The candy is edible on the premises.

You're not allowed to take it home, which is why I put little metal dots inside each little candy piece to make sure none of them are stolen. Emily! also there will be no re-entry so please make sure keep your stub but this bracelet has only one use um so she's like welcome to my home and of course it's like overly overly whatever the word is overly built up this this sleepover in a way that's totally unappealing because again i do believe there should be your sleepover should be in the realm of soft couches and big big pillows and there should be a TV. So she's like, this is Nate. He is a sleepover butler. This is Emily and Gretchen. Nate, Nathaniel, would you please give the pores a piece of Oreo caviar? Thank you so much. God,

I love a sleepover. I just need to know where I can get Nate. He's like, I'm available. Yeah, you're very handsome. Oh, sorry, I'm not on this dream. You're very handsome, Nate. Sorry, sometimes I have a Gina button that I press if I ever want to feel. a little richer. Look, here's one. Ding, don, can I have a dollar? Ding don't, can I have a dollar? Travis has big balls.

Travis has big balls. Here's one. I feel bad. She likes to say that after she spends an extra dollar on toppings for pizza. I feel bad. I know bad. I know bad. So then at the other house, they're looking at rooms.

And Tamara's like, Like one of these hats a bunk bed, but we're not going to look like a queen sleep in the bunk bed. Like Shannon, you should get the main primary room because you're so main and so primary. Everybody loves you, Shannon. Hey, Shannon, sleep room for my best friend. And I love with just girls. We're just girls having a good time. Just girls.

Manny. You need to get old beags and then we need to like get ready for wine tasting. And then so they're all getting settled in. And then Tamara's like, oh my God. Where's the Princess of Temecula now? Okay, where's Shannon, the Princess Temeanor with the crazy boobs and the crazy hair? What a cow am I right. That's in the book.

It's in the book. She should read it. I'm trying to do everything I can to make Shannon feel comfortable. Like doing this. How, Shannon? Then brushing the hair a little bit. Moving the hair out of her eyes and stuff. Look a little bit too like this.

Hi, Shannon. I'm like, I don't need the primary. This is why. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. Take it, Shannon. Look at your main primary bedroom, which has access from three different doorways. Hope you sleep over and not, Shannon.

You can see the corn maze just at the window. You're not scared of corn mazes, are you? Well, I do believe killers. I live in the corn maze, but that's okay. I love it to make the corn maze. So then Shannon is like unpacking her second bag, which has all her pots and pans. And I want to make fun of her,

but I have been known to bring a few pots and pans to an Airbnb before. I'm not going to lie. But this was crazy because she also had like loose dry spaghetti in her bag. She's like, I guess some of this whole wheat, gluten-free non-pasta pasta has spilled out.

It was crazy. She was pulling out like McKenzie's child serving platters and shit. That was, that she did not need to bring. It was super weird to have. It's like, well, I need my, immersion blender. What's an immersion blender?

I don't even know what that is. Do you immerse yourself in a blender? That doesn't sound safe. Shannon, I'm worried about you. Is that the stick propeller thing that my son used to make a roly-poly smoothie? Yes, that's exactly right. So then they, they're just like laughing because she's brought like an egg bite. She made like an egg bite maker and all this stuff.

Like actually like, like, I think like bringing a cast iron skillet or a Dutch oven, it's fine but this was too much too much for you shannon but she's being wacky like it's a wacky thing like look what i brought i'm fun shannon isn't this crazy oh my god your so cases like when i go through my kids backpacks like what's in here like i don't even know it's like something sticky oh well something spilled okay well great i spilled i spilled on the immersion blender what would i do everyone let's go back to beverly hills come sit down everyone Come sit down in this temporarily comfortable room over here. Oh, wait a second.

Is this considered the living room? Well, there's a bigger living room for the real friends, you know, people who own vineyards and such. But this is where I have the poor sit. I hope you like it. This is like the kitchen family room. There's another family room, but you're not family. So you're going to be here. Um, okay.

Would you like snacks? Snacks? I love snacks. I love them. No. That's why I have them here. So this is my first sleepover party that I've ever had. Am I doing well? Is this what we do? We don't sleep, do we? I don't sleep. Now, please hold out your hands. I'm going to give you three vouchers, which are good for each one is good for one third of a snack. And you just give it to Nathaniel and he will redeem it for you. And once you're out of the vouchers, unfortunately after that, there will be no more snacking. So please use them wisely. Okay. Make us stuff Oreos to the right. Gretton's so dumb. She goes, wow. look at this view. What is that? A bird? What was that?

And then Heather has the most had the response. Oh, no. This is too high for a bird, I think. No, no, no. Uh-uh. No birds up here. Like, I think the birds can get up there. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Then hang on. We have a security guard on the, on the 32nd floor that stops all the birds. Too high for bird. Security clearance. Birds generally don't have professions, so they're not allowed to fly to this floor. We have a separate entrance for the birds. We called them Alfredo birds. Well, we had a good drive.

We analyzed Tamara. Yeah, we did cycle analysts analysis. So then we go to a flashback where Emily is saying, I wouldn't say Tamara's a good girl. Like, she seems like a girl who would always hang out with dudes. You know, like even with a photo. with Jen like she brought that up because she feels insecure with her relationship with Jen but that's an insecurity issue with yourself my god get alive what's your insecurity that you're sitting here talking about these other people you have nothing to say that's not about the people

that aren't there boring by the way um Heather have you even talk to the other girls of Temecula do we know if they're having a good time hold on let me call I can't imagine they're having a very good time being at that low level bird bird region house that they're in. They're probably being attacked by birds as we speak. Those are ground level people. It's a ground level vacation. And you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's really terrible considering how lacking in

aspiration those birds are. They're not even going above a second floor. I mean, at least the ones that come here are trying for something. I mean, can you imagine being attacked by birds that settle in a place called Temecula? You know, I see so many. So many Blue Jays who just want a better life, who try to fly up to Drake's apartment. They just can't quite reach it.

And they just sort of exhaust themselves and fall down to the street like a wooden avocado being thrown at a man in the hills. But everything should be fine. Jen and Tamer are fresh. They're starting on a fresh walk-step relationship thing. And Emily's like, well, I might have ruined it. Oh, no. What did you do, Emily? Well, I saw Jen, and she seemed upset about the fatty photo.

again. So, you know, I said, remember the fatty photo? That was hilarious. And then Jen got upset. So then we see a flashback to two days ago where Jen and Emily are sitting outside and Jen is like, no, I don't know if it's a fat photo of me. I just, I just really don't know. Well, you didn't have to see the photo, but you resolve the argument. We've got to open this one right back up again, okay? Innocent's project skills are coming into play. Jen's like, okay, well, I've never been or been, I've never really been able to have the conversation with her. Well, we'll fix that. So then we'll go back to the president and emily's like well she still doesn't know what tamer's intent was but bringing

it up and tamer showed you that photo right because gina calls it the fatty photo is it a fatty photo well i think she was just showing me the picture to be like this is what she looked like before now she looks more like me she was fat and disgusting and hideous before shouldn't have been out in public before was an embarrassment to the community before j c penn and he would be like don't come into our store and now she's like hot and thin and absolutely stunning i think that's it nothing too major but i love uh i love them going like wow she still doesn't know what tamara's intent was you don't she was calling you fat and but and by the way intent she was saying it was like who even likes her she used to be fat that's what she that was the intent why why are we reading

so deeply into this yeah and of course we look at the photo and like it's like we're going to put some air quotes around the fat when we see that photo right because it is not fat that is a totally normal beautiful woman like that's crazy i mean her top could could have used somehow but it's not a great top but she's a beautiful woman they're so crazy on this show so uh now gretchen gretchen is like well heather's admitted that she's scared of tamara so now she's going to make excuses for tamara doing this thing and she's just going to litigate it look i said litigate it I was impressed. I was, yeah, she's like, she's like, oh, she's going to litigate and adjudicate and all these things. I was like, oh, it's like, but when it comes to Tamara, it's all fine. It's all good. Just look the other way. So then Gretchen is like, I mean, I think it'd be interesting if like Jen brings it up when she's down there on that trip because then like, wouldn't that be cool, right?

And then I was like, yeah, I bet you will because it sounds like a Band-Aid over an open wound that's going to open up again and again and again. Well, if the Band-Aid opens, it'll only open if you gained well. typically, which hopefully she won't do, because this is all solved now. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.

See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber Way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's a Amanda Foster. It's always automatic

with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickulous. Hava Nigelah Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.

Jamie, she has no less namey. She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trots. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. K. Surrah, Sarah, whatever will be will Lauren Sillsby. She gets a name from us, it's Lindsay D.

Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McKinery. We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Living with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia. Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we can, it's Sedana. Cast a Spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy,

it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen. It's Queen La Ifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hale the corkmaster, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurter. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock.

Gee, it's Lisa H. We're right or die for Lisa Rider Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthie. Always killing it, it's Low Alcalani. The Incredible Edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. Meat. It's Ronite Feldman. Maximum love for Sandy Maximuska. She's the Queen Bee. It's Sarah We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon, out of a canon, Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plan.

She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wendry.com slash survey.