Watch What Crappens - #3000 Below Deck S12E16 Part One: French Disconnection

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!Below Deck ends its season with a milquetoast betrayal as two horny stews hook. Also, Rainbeau almost murders Solene. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. What's what happens when there's so much than crap is. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, how's it going? Good. What's going on with you this morning? This beautiful Tuesday morning. You know, I'm just enjoying September and we just wrapped up below deck last night. I couldn't be happier. Actually, I'm in a tremendous mood because it means I no longer. have to watch this season of below deck, because I thought it was the worst season they've ever had. I'm saying it right now, everyone. I'm saying it right now. I thought it was insufferable. Disagree. Yeah, I thought it was terrible. It actually got to me, I thought it was going to be the best season. I thought it opened up so strong. And as it went along, I started to realize

this is actually the opposite. This was, this season was absolutely insufferable for me. and I languished my way through the last night's episode, languished. But, you know, it's below deck. You know, they have good seasons and bad seasons. This one just did not really hit for me, unfortunately. Sorry. Well, I wish it, though. I wish it hit Salain because I was really hoping that this was going to be a fight between

Rainbow and Saline that would end up in a fight on an island with somebody dead, you know? And then I was like, wow, well, Salain and that guy do it. you know, I was very invested. So, what can I say? You know, I was like, oh, I hope the toilet gets cleaned. But I enjoyed it. Everyone, welcome to this show. We did Amazon Live this week.

It was so much fun. We do those every other Monday at 4 p.m. Pacific over on Amazon. You can get links on our Instagram, link in bio. Also, when we're not doing that, every other Monday, we are doing crappy hour at 5.30 p.m. Pacific Time. So that'll be this coming Monday. So join us for that. That's super fun. You can find that on Patreon for free or on Instagram or on YouTube or YouTube channel.

YouTube. You can also find a bunch of free videos because we put all of our video recaps up there a week after they're released. If you want them new, you get them on Patreon like right now. Like all you people watching right now fresh on Patreon. Hello. Crappin's on demand. Also, that's where you get our bonus episodes. We've got a few trailer trashes up there, which is where we trashed trailers. We did Real Housewives of Potomac and Real Housewives of What was the other thing? No, Below Deck Mediterranean, which starts, what, next week or something. And we'll probably do a wife swap. I don't know. We haven't talked about it.

But Wife Swap is coming out on Bravo, so there should be a trailer for that. I don't know. But go check over on Patreon to find all that good stuff. And today it's Below Deck, Season 12, Episode 16. 12. Over the rain, B.O. Yeah, over the rainbow. Sorry, microchosis. Nicodioces over rainbow. By the way, speaking about that,

Bravo housewife, like wife swap. I thought it was that like the housewives swap families, but they just swap with normies. I did not realize that. Did you know that? No, I still didn't know that until you told me right now. So they're not swapping with each other? No, I was because I watched,

like the, I watched like the little sizzle reel or whatever was that they released today. And it was like Melissa Gorga saying something like, oh my God, I have to go to Idaho. And Emily Simpson being like, oh, God, I have to go. And I, and I just assumed that like Emily was taking over Wendy's family or something like that. But then they showed at the end of the trailer or like the commercial, like some just like Normie is being like, what have I gotten myself into? So that'll be It'll be an interesting show for sure Well, I feel like that's like a real-life wife swap

Because, you know, the name comes from kind of swinging, right? Like, wife swap, and I feel like swingers When you swap, you always get someone homelier Or as homely as your current partner. You know, I don't think it ever works where you get someone better. So I think that makes sense. It's like, wow, we're swapping, but is the grass really greener? No, we're all basics.

I don't know if my person would want to swap into any of the real housewives less. I don't know. I feel like we see them on TV and I'm not sure I see like the upside of suddenly like swapping in and like pretending that Shane is my husband. No one needs Joe Gorga running around their house screaming about how he needs to get the poison out. Nobody needs that. No one needs that at all. I know. Things that are normal on housewives would probably be considered like assault.

on a regular show, you know. Emily's going to go in there and diagnose everybody's child with something and be like, I don't love you as much. I just don't love you as much. I'm trying to divorce everybody's husband. I think this is basically just Bravo's attempt to do like some sort of like maximal

crappy lake situation, sending housewives off into like rural areas where it's like, oh my God, this is crazy. The kids all need to get their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and go to school. So, I think if you want to us to watch how real housewives deal with the real world i want to see them take on these jobs that are

like under fire for being you know terrible like send them to the iPhone factory you know send them to you know the the shipping like the uh the shipping places where they have to go you know work with no breaks and stuff like that do that do that that's what i want to see i want to see Angie trying to figure out how to lead a train union. I. It is time to organize. I would, I hope that they bring back Marguerite Perrine for Paren, the crazy lady from Wiveswap.

Like the only, when Wiveswap originally aired in like 2005, the only episode that was ever worth watching was that crazy lady, Marguerite. Do you remember that? lady who was like this god fear she was like i'm a god warrior she was crazy and oh i saw the clips of that oh yeah she's like these are sinners these are people of saken that was truly the best like wife swap like kind of like climax in that moment and um it was great it was a great time

for all of us and so did jo gorga it's super weird super weird uh let's let's resurrect that lady i'm twitter with joe gorga how about that I'm down. But in the meantime, we're going to have a below deck swap because below deck will be switching over to anyone need a hug, below deck med next week. Below deck mid. No. That's more of a spit swap.

Capri pants swap. Okay. Who's in my ankle socks? Okay. So here we go. Below deck, season 12, episode 16, over the rain. We get interviews and we know that it's the internet. of the season because there's like lots of green screen they didn't even put anything up they're

like guys this is what it looks behind the scenes it's a green screen they are acting like scandavals about to happen on this boat like we made it america has seen this crazy riveting season of people banging each other how's they all going to shake out i'm like why do we have to have why are they making it seem like we're doing a cameras pick pick back up episode So it's just the maids. The maids are just, they're finishing up their charles. They're like hitting the toilet bowl one last time. Every day is hell.

So you've got to be ready for hell, Anthony. And then we see the flashbacks of Anthony losing his mind and throwing dish rags. Dun, don't, don't. It's his best, his best act. And then we see like, oh, my God, all this stuff. And then we see Kelly being kicked off the boat. And then we see Kyle and he's like with Helen on the beach. Oh, my God.

So much scandal happened. Isn't it funny how Kelly's whole thing, like, you Democrats, you're all Democrats. Like how fitting that is right now. In this time. Just seeing that clip, I was like, well, you got to give it to below deck. They keep it modern because that's basically if you if you turn on the news right now, that's basically what's happening. Everyone's like, Democrat.

It was Democrat. That's like you're all a bunch of fucking Kellys. Sit down, all of you. So Anthony's like, yeah, tonight's an incredibly big challenge because we do have a lot of restriction. I do it for you, daddy. I do it for you, daddy. He kept saying that in this episode like, Daddy, Daddy,

I'm doing this gluten-free plate for you, daddy. This is all for you, Daddy. I'm figuring out the fish-free gluten-free for you, daddy. It's like, okay, could you just leave your dad alone? Okay. This poor guy. He's like, please, son, stop throwing the dish rag. The son, I'm sorry, but I am in heaven now.

I cannot pay attention to your eight-course meal. There are real celebrities up here. I spoke to Matt Napoleon last night. He's real cool. I don't know why people say it's a complex. He is a complex personality. But, you know, come on. like, you're kind of interrupting my floor right now, son.

So the captain is going to be eating at the table tonight, which could send Anthony over the edge. So he spends half an hour really pluck him those eyebrows to make sure he's ready, and he's ready. He's done. So Anthony's, uh, he's going to just bust out his, he's going to pull out his best mommy dearest look for tonight's meal.

Like eight courses. Every course have to do. That's one more lash. comes out. Yeah, he's like, I'm 90s eyebrows today, people. We're going to do this. Back in the day before gluten allergies, let's do this. So everyone sits down for the big fire and ice dinner.

And then everything is, there's so many slow-mo shots. I don't know why they just, it's been a lot all season. But this episode, they were like, like, okay, Cindy, one episode left. Just give us everything. We know you've come up with a lot of good slow-mo filters. She's like, yes, I'm going to do it. It's like someone sitting down in a chair. It's like, slow motion close-up of a lady taking your seat.

Slow-motion close-up of putting something in the oven. By the way, also, the other thing is this. Okay, Anthony has a lot of stress. He's got to do an eight-course meal before these damn fireworks go off. Can the producers, like, get out of his way? Must they put a GoPro on the sheet pan that he puts into the oven? Because, you know, he's like, I just want to cook my food. like no no stop we have to put a GoPro into the sheet pan so we know what it's like to be put

into an oven i'm like why are you doing this this poor man let him cook i was cracking up with that too the GoPro on the sheet pan like oh okay wow now we know what it's like the life inside of an oven um yeah that's why that other guy quit too that original chef was like get out of my kitchen i'm trying to cook god damn get these cameras out of here i can't do it now like just get someone desperate enough to put a GoPro on a sheet pan and make sure he's barely got eyebrows left. Please. Please, whoever it is.

Please get your GoPro out of my polenta. Oh, daddy says you can put GoPro on my blender. Go ahead. Go for it. Ors Lawn? GoPro. So, yeah, he's stressed out. And I just love the only out that he could make

fireworks is stressful. He's like, oh, we have power work tonight. I do this for you, Danny. I do it for you. So the E introduces the dinner, the fire and ice tasting. For the first course, it's iced avocado mousse over black garlic paste. Gross. Iced avocado mousse. That's like frozen guacamole.

I'm okay with that. I want my guack room temp. Don't serve me some like an iced avocado. Listen, you're on, you're on super yard with culinary food for daddy. Come on, be open to these things. so they have it they enjoy their ice their iced avocado mousse

and then Barbara and Jess are in the crew mess talking Jess is like I don't know where I didn't know where you were oh I thought you were in a different room

and I walked in that room and you weren't there and if I had only paid attention I would have known you weren't in that room it is the consequences of my actions oh you're off in August what if I meet up with you

in August instead of now do you think that would be okay because we could spend more time together you want to go to new york and fuck your butt off in new i'm convinced that she and you know i hate saying this because i really like barbara but i think jess is totally using her for real estate she's using her for a hundred percent a hundred percent barbara needs to start working on looking at red flags okay if you if you're working you're working amongst the waves anyway so you should be paying attention to these flags because this is so obvious to anyone watching that this lady is purely using it when she says

maybe instead of hanging out now let's hang out in like several months from now no we all know how that what that means come on barbara and then barbara says well i do have feelings for jess i mean part of me really wants to see where this goes and but i had a long distance relationship before and it's something that i definitely don't want to have again because i know how easily i get hurt i'm confused it's not nice you don't seriously if you get easily hurt why are you messing with this lady right now? Because she's really hot. I mean, look, we all know what that's like, and I get it.

You know, red flags don't mean anything. When the person is hot enough, a red flag just looks like a sheet, you know? It's like, I can fuck under that sheet, you know? Lay it down, let's fuck on it, you know? I'll take that red flag because, you know, a person's hot enough. You put that to the side. I get it. Yeah, I guess so.

I'll allow it. But protect your real estate, you know? Even when you're renting, it's still yours, you know, protect it because you live somewhere like New York. People will be coming to see you all the time. And you need to start protecting yourself. So Barbara, you know, Jess is like, where do we stand in our relationship? Well, I mean, you just fuck someone else in the shower about five minutes ago. So can we not talk about our relationship right now, you little fucking apart, you little couch surfer, you little cooch surfer.

So Barbara's like, well, I think we keep in touch. And she goes, oh, exactly what I wanted to hear. Just keep in touch. She probably literally wants to keep in touch. So then Anthony serves his next course. He's torching. He's bruleting. This is an onion brule for daddy because everything he brulets.

Everything for fire is literally, he just lights on fire. So he brings on my own. Can I just say this was the longest service. of all time. He's like, oh, I don't know how I'm going to have time to do this before firework. Please, Daddy, give me strength. He brouletes that, even on, even with editing on TV, I was like, wow, you're doing each one at the table. Each one is taking at least two minutes. Can they eat their damn brouet? Do this in the back. I know. Well, that was Fraser who said that. He's like, shouldn't you be doing this up at the table? I think they'd like to see it. I'm like,

I don't want to see someone like. I thought that same thing. I was like, just do it ahead of time and bring it out all at once. Because I don't want to be sitting there. If I'm number one in the bruley line, if you brulee and I have to sit there and just like, wait. Everyone else to get bruleyed when there's like eight ladies there. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, by the way, you're correct. Everything does look really good. I think he did a great job with this final dinner thing. Yeah. But it was very literal, you know? Fire and ice. Everything will be on fire.

I will make everything on fire. little fire you know you could have you took the assignment extremely literally but um you know it did look good so and you brule and then um one of the guests is like oh but i'm gonna i'm ice i'm only allowed to talk about cool things well you failed so far all of you ladies on this bow whoa you didn't talk enough about cool things yeah they definitely did not have that so then there's some steak of poir and there's more flames on that and then there's like a mushroom thing and then one of the ladies is like i'm not tasting mushroom and they're like really kathy like no i'm not like whatever and just moves on i'm like we're just going to move on from the lady

who doesn't taste mushroom there's a time in our lives when below deck would gear an entire episode over a lady not tasting the mushroom in her mushroom dish and there would be a commercial break and there'd be promos and it would be a cliffhanger and it'd be like we're not going to get our tip and now it's just like i just am not tasting mushroom and everyone says get over it and then we go back to watching jess and barbara or saline and kyle and dameau downstairs it's just i i want petty service issues back front and center on blowdeck but also fuck that lady because she was just trying to have her top chef regular person moment where they where they have those challenges where it's, they show the audience eating, you know, and they're like, we're regular people.

And I don't appreciate that there's no mushroom. And they're just trying to get their camera time. And I think everyone knew she was just trying. And so they're like, shut up, Kathy, because it was mushroom risotto, okay? It was risotto covered in mushroom. Like, there was mushrooms everywhere. It was brown. And she was like, I'm really not getting any mushroom.

You're like, you really need to try harder, Kathy, because this is literally covered in mushrooms. She's like, what? Mushrooms wear mushrooms. You're eating a mushroom. right now it just it's you know what a mushroom tastes like the you know what it tastes like kathy i mean i tasted mushrooms i was watching it that's why i was like this should have been a cliffhanger because this lady is is is obviously an awful person because she does

she's clearly trying to have a moment with the mushrooms and it's just her luck that she's on the season where they don't care about moments like these anymore yeah and then there's no spoons for the ice cream so uh-oh so people have to start running around yes they have to run around. It's like a huge moment. And then is a baked Alaska with Grand Marnier. Because you know what? You can do with that? Start it on fire. And so he does. Because it's

fire. And guess what else it is? Ice. Fire and ice. You know what else it is? A state. And it's baked. Someone baked the state. Alaska. A lot of things. It's a geography lesson. It's a reference to northern exposure.

It could see Russia from it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappence commercial so then um let's see so fraser it's like he fucking nailed it look at the excitement on my face the guests always love your food why do you think why do you doubt yourself is it because i'm running around run around you saying don't fail don't fail don't fail you smell don't fail possibly uh I just always have this feeling to feel like it was not enough, and I'm going to work on that, you know? It's like, but I'm so glad I put my faith in you to come back and show America that I'm not a dick ward after all. Yes, but without you, I would never be at this level on this season.

So thank you. Thank you for recommending we brule at the table. Otherwise, I would still be a shitty, shitty chef down in the gallery. I hope to see you for many, many more seasons together. I'm sorry, I'm busy that day, but thank you. Thank you so much. So Kyle and Solane are cuddling up and Kyle's in love, you know. He's like, we've been through a lot, but we both made terrible decisions along the way.

And there's been deceit, but now we're back. And I'm not with Saline, but there's definitely feelings. Maybe me more so than her, but I'm just such an emotional guy. You're drunk. You're drunk with the shakes. And I think you're just going to take any blanket that passes you. And also, she's extremely hot. She's not like some great love story.

Yeah, he's like, oh, I love her so deeply damaged. You're damaged and you're looking for a fairy tale to make it seem like all the damage isn't there. But you're damaged. This is not going to work out. And you like, I don't care that he, he wants to bang Celine because she is super hot. But like him saying stuff that there's emotions involved, I'm like, please, sir, can you not, can you not bore us with this ridiculousness? why are you attaching emotions to this person who already showed you earlier this season that she has no interest in any emotions back towards you and that's fine as well but now you're going to burden us with your emotional bullshit that like we all can be like we know your emotional bullshit's fake too and you're just doing this to feel let's make us like feel some sort of like oh poor Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle has it rough and like I'm just I don't want to hear from you guys on a reality shows especially this one. that they're like oh my feelings are so hurt they always do that at the end of the season so that they

can go to bars and girls are like oh my god your heart was so hurt i can help you they're like going for the um you know the post-season pusei say that's what they're going for yeah and i'm not buying it and the only reason you like her is a she's hot and b you're an alcoholic and she has wine and cigarette breath yeah i think that really is it it's just like just i kind of just want him to just stand in it and say like, yeah, she's hot. I just want to bang her a little bit. But when he's like, oh, I can't help it, I just get emotionally attached. I'm like, sir, we saw you banging on the, the piss laden floor of a bathroom three weeks ago. And by the way, when they showed the flashback, you stuck your winner in Big Ang, like four weeks ago. And also, like,

he really talks like, this is like the great romance of our times. And when they show like at some point during this episode they show flashbacks and at the may it could be here where he's like we've had our ups and our downs and they show like when he and selain first got together that was 20 days ago and then their issue that they had was 11 days ago i'm like you're talking about this is two weeks i'm like i'm sorry i'm sorry like don't just just bang and enjoy it like please don't give us all this emo crap along i don't want to have to be invest it's not so much that i'm invested in the emo crap is that then the show gets invested in. And then we have slow moments and sadness.

And I'm like, I can't. I cannot. I'm, gosh, I'm really on one today. I'm sorry, Ronnie. I don't know why I'm really like, I don't know why I'm steaming mad today, but I am really on one today about Blow Deck. No, I get it.

Look, and you're someone who loves Love Island. So my initial thought is like, you love it on Love Island. But I think it's different because that's Love Island. And that's what you do on Love Island. But this, I want to see you clean a toilet. And that's it. It's very important to me.

I want to see you clean a toilet. I want to see you forget the forks. I want to see you, you know, like figure out how to blow up balloons for ice and fire. That's what I want to see. That's exactly correct. And I thought about that. I actually had that exact same thought process, which is like I love when when there's this drama on Love Island. But like it's just, it's not like this, this isn't Love Island.

And so it's just, it's not what I'm tuning in for. This is toilet brush island. Okay. It's toilet brush island. It's toilet brush island. Get out your toilet brush. I have no interest in you without a cleaning product in your hand. And that's it.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's just, it's so tiresome. So just to hear of the entertainment. Like I go look at a car wash. The entertainment is the bristles coming down over my car. I'm being in it going,

ah, I'm dying. You know, as the thing splash you and all that. That's the entertainment. I don't want to go through through there and just watch the car, car wash guys fucking. That's just,

it's just not the place for that. Squirt my car. Sorry, not me. You really should stop driving convertibles to the car wash, Ronnie. No wonder why they're so traumatic. I'm taking my best breath through the car, the car watch. I'm like, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. I'm dying.

So, Fraser, this is also an episode where Fraser acts like he just won an Emmy Award. He's like, I can't believe it. I can't believe we're here. My crew this season dealt with different obstacles and challenges. There were dinners. There were picnics. Toilet cleanings. It feels like we've been chased by a feral dog with rabies.

But we pulled it off. Well done to us. I'm very proud. Ow! Actually, just got bit by a feral dog with rabies. Damn, if you caught me. That would have made the season, actually, if there was a feral dog with rabies. I would have improved this.

I would love that. I would love that as like a story arc because that's actually one frontier that reality TV has truly not taken us to is just the feral rabies storyline as long as it's caught early and there's no true danger then it's great obviously we don't want anyone to get true rabies

I remember the one time and I remember one time like when I was like 22 my friend Kate had a party and my other another Kate like slept overnight at the part party and then she woke up in the morning and she had like a bruise and she was confused so she went to the doctor and they were concerned that a rabid bat had bit her in the middle of the night so she had to have rabies shots for a few weeks and yeah and i just thought man that sucks

but also a hilarious concept that bat got in in the middle of the night and bit her and gave her rabies but by the way i've always been afraid of rabies i don't know i've had this irrational fear That's not irrational. That is a rational fear of getting rabies. It's everywhere. Growing up, my house was sort of like, it was like surrounded by like a big wooded area.

Like my driveway was like, I had to walk like down this long driveway to get to the bus stop. And I was always afraid of rapid raccoon was going to come out of the woods and bite me. Yeah, I read Very fresh. When I was like 12 and I have I always wanted someone around me to get

at rabies. I didn't necessarily want to get it. But like Kujo is basically a mom and her son hiding in a car as this dog is attacking their car. And they're like, oh my God, how do we get to the front door and the car won't start? And then, oh God, now we have to get around. Now we have to get around this dog. That's the whole book. And it was so scary. And I just always wanted to find a way to get my sister rabies because I can imagine like me and my mom hiding in the station wagon while my sister is banging up against the car. My sister's like so sweet, by the way. so just imagining her all feral out there like let me in mommy let me in and we just wouldn't let her in that was always my dream as a kid which is probably kind of sick as far as fraser goes um you know saying

things like feels like we've been chased with a feral dog with rabies you know fraser seems fine and everything i think he did an okay job this season but overall my overall note is i need more cowbell and that's it i just i need feels like we've been chased by a feral dog with rabies like you're fine you know yeah I think it's I think it's time I need more razor also because like honestly like he didn't he didn't all right job I think that's Elaine I think Celine fucking sucks I'm sorry Celine sucks I love her and she's an icon I I feel like I was like that with her for so long I was like she's hilarious like she has this really ridiculous attitude but then I really, I had this moment last night

where I was like, you know, we all know she's a terrible worker. She's a terrible worker. But I had a moment last night watching this show where I was like, you know what? I think I like, just in time for the season to end, I kind of hit my wall with her and I went from being like, oh, she's so amusing to like

she fucking sucks. I'm sorry, Salane fucking sucks. She's like, as a bad worker, she's obnoxious. She really only cares about herself. And you know that Bravo's going to bring her back because she's kind of a breakout star of the season. And she already, I mean, she's already going to be on Love Island Games. So I just feel like, I don't know. I'm just like, she sucks. And Frazier, Fraser should have like, like, he should have seen that. And he should have seen, like,

how much work other people were having to put in because of her. And because he had some sort of, like, ego thing that he was like not going to fire someone because he wanted to change his image for the season. I think that's shitty because other people had to suffer for what he wanted to prove to, like, himself in America. And he should have fired Slane a long time ago. And that is my feeling on that. Well, other people may have suffered, but I gained because she brought me so much entertainment. Like I literally, if they sold posters of Celine, I would buy one and put it in my room. Like, I love her. And I think that the reason he kept her was because as bad as she was, it made him look better in his mind to the audience because he was finding a way to keep her. And so that was

his only thing. So I think his big arc for the season was like, look at me. I've gotten to the point where I don't fight with anyone, even if they're saline. Didn't I do a good job? When meanwhile, it means he kind of did a bad job because he didn't he can't win. I'm sure in his mind, he's like, I can't win with these fucking people. You know, like first they're mad at me

for fighting with people and firing them. And now they're mad at me for not fighting with someone and firing them. But the thing is, you were in trouble before because you were like having like really weird immature fights with a bunch of girls, which is never a great look. honestly and you were taking it to you were getting way too personal with it and getting way

too like bitchy with people in your job and it was it was unprofessional you know it wasn't that you thought camille sucked camille did suck it's like how you went about it was very immature so you know you can't win you didn't win but yeah no i mean thank you for keeping selain i mean i look look my my saline feeling kicked in right at the right time i got like a whole season's worth of entertainment from her and then at the last minute And I just sort of had this moment of like, oh, Bravo's going to probably bring this girl back. And that's so shitty because she is like, she's a bad. I'm not saying she's a bad person, but she's like so self-involved.

She's so obnoxious and she causes so much damage to people around her. I was like, God, she really sucks. And she and I think what was terrible is that like Fraser, I think in the past, maybe he got in trouble for like wanting to fire someone too quickly. And so like, it was good that he like. really tried to work with someone and tried to make it and tried to make it last. But at a certain point, like, you know, you're, you're rewarding someone for getting marginally better and punishing someone who's actually working really,

really hard, like Rainbow. And I just think that's like, I don't know, I think that's like bullshit. And I think that I think that she should have been symbolically fired for this last episode personally, even though the charter was over. I think they still fire her ass. yeah just on the last day he's like we're not going to fire her on the drop day and um i think the audience would have really liked him more if he had been like you're terrible please leave and then so you know we could have just watched rainbow like have a nervous breakdown as she had to change all

the sheets herself i mean that would have been a good ending i in fact i actually thought that that's we're going to be getting that i was like okay there will be some justice anyway enough of my ranting i'm sorry i'm just really ranting today are you sorry that's That's what we do. I'm not even in a bad mood. I'm not even a bad mood. I'm just like, I'm like, ah, maybe I'm in a bad mood. I don't know.

Am I in a bad mood? I don't know. Are you in a bad mood? Well, this is also kind of an early morning recording for us. We had a meeting that we had to get up for on the East Coast this morning, so we're recording a little early. But I like it. I don't think I'm in a bad mood.

I like it. I think I'm in a good mood. I think I'm in a good mood. Listen, who cares? You're about to sit around a bitch. Who are you apologizing? That's all we do every day. So anyway, it's a final net of charter.

And there's a fireworks show. It's huge. And everyone acts like they've never seen fireworks before. Like, oh, my God, it's fireworks. Thank you, Daddy. I did it for you, Daddy. And, yeah, fireworks. It is cool seeing them close up like that because this is where like fireworks can kill you,

you know, where they're so close. They didn't, though. It's like there's no feral dogs. No one got hit by a firework. So it's all kind of a letdown. Remember the time when they did a big fireworks show, July 4th fireworks show down in San Diego, and there was an error and they set up all the fireworks all at once. Oh, my God, yeah.

That's terrible. There was something that happened like that this summer, somewhere, and it was insane, like a fireworks factory went off. It was like, oh, my God. That happens every once in a while. Once in a while, someone like something goes wrong in a fireworks factory, and it's real chaos. But I just remember that San Diego thing, all these people showed up, found a picnic blanket, and got ready for their big fire

show and they all went off in five seconds and it was over and it was like wait what oh god fireworks they're hilarious so fraser says i finished this season with the same interior team and i'm so happy about it every season has different personalities every year is a whole new game and test but this year i think i passed no you failed you did not fire your worst stew who was terrible okay i'm gonna say you failed on this one. And they give him a big stamp that said, past. I wish it was spelled P-A-S-T.

I'm the past. Because they had a commercial for below-deck med, and just seeing Daisy with her new haircut. I was like, why am I so excited to just see Daisy with a new haircut? And like on a different boat. I was like, this is the excitement I need when I see the Chief Stu coming back. And I'm like, oh, my God, I can't wait to see what Daisy is like. What's you going to do without Gary?

what's you going to do with that call what's going to happen um and i just you know i'm sorry phrased i just don't feel it so carrie oh sorry just as just as a just so we know people will write in daisy was actually in the salt lake city preview because they're going to go on to below deck down underboat on salt lake city this season not mad yep that's right i'm I'm saying that only because other people will say, actually, it wasn't below-deck med that you saw it on. That was down under. You're right. Yeah.

But still, you know, well, that one had Asia. And that's another one. Asia also had that cute haircut. They both got that same short Bob kind of haircut, actually. So I did see a Bob. So I was correct about that. I was very excited about another Bob, but it was Asia's Bob. And I felt the same excitement about her, you know.

You felt so. Both Bob's got. we're exciting as they should be you know what you've been out you've been out entertained by two bobs fraser okay two separate bobs have both out entertained you if fraser comes on next season with aisha's little bob that would be hilarious i've changed my look a little bit mhm frazer's like i'm doing what i can this season the audience said that they liked bobs so here i am back with the bob commercials here comes one right now so carry is happy um and you know he's like denou was

fucking amazing a true culinary adventure it's like thank you again uh captain daddy for trusting me and bringing me here i was like oh yeah for me to have the opportunity to see you flourish is pretty amazing bro i'm very proud of anthony he's come a very long way and he's had the same he's not the same chef that he used to be he's had a few hard knocks made some mistakes but he ended up doing great and he's grown to be the chef that i always knew he could be a chef with impossibly thin eyebrows you see daddy thank you daddy this is for you daddy as the chef leave as the captain leaves so dameau hangs with the guests and is still you know they're still wooing about things like oh my god a big

to lasca woo fireworks woo we're single woo and damo's like wow they're a huge temptation look they're hot they're rich enough to charter a yacht and if you're looking for a future ex-fiancee i'm here to play you're so gross and also someone posted in a comment on instagram i thought i think her name was betty bah or betty bah i'm sorry i forgot your name i promised myself i would remember your name because i freaking loved this it. She said, demo looks just like Steve Martin. I cannot get it out of my head yet. He has Steve Martin face. He has his face. None of his charm or talent, unfortunately, but he's definitely got the face. Steve Martin face with like 1987 Annie Potts hair. Yes. Yes. Isn't it crazy?

He has his exact face. It is wild, actually. Only hope he's in the building. So he checks on the guest. He's like, is there anything you need? And they're like, I'm probably. Woo. Woo. Please fuck one of those basic bees. Please.

Please do it. I dare you. You fucking hypocrite. So now it's late at night. And Salain and Rainbow, it's their final lates. And Rainbow is like, oh my God. This is the last lates list. Oh my God.

This is fucking good, bro. Yeah. And Celine's like, yes. this is the last one. It's the last one. I hate doing this. Me too. Me too.

Tonight is the last. So I want to play. I want to have fun because I really work hard. I do my best all the time, period. And this, I think this is the time for celebrating and no more fucking least. So she pours herself a gigantic glass of wine. And then the guests are hanging out on the deck and they're talking about drinking and wanting to Do shots.

Let's do shots with Damo. He's so sexy. Tell us about Martin Short. Is he really funny? So they do an ice lewd shot thing. And then let's see. Solane is doing shots with them. Yeah.

So, yeah, she's doing that. And Rainbow sees that. And she's like, are you fucking kidding me, bro? I'm so irritated. Taking shots with guests doing fuck all at night. Like, I don't. understand how you are this selfish and narcissistic. Fuck all this bullshit, you stupid bitch.

I'll see you in the Dutch island. One woman enters, two women enter, one woman leaves. So Celena's look, okay, go on someone, okay, Demo, go stand the phone of some band. I'm going to jump. I'm going to jump on you. Going to jump like this. So just be ready. And Rimpos like, um, yeah, okay, Mary Lou Bratton, can we just like,

whatever we're going to do after work because I really need Salane to like be here and like that way I can go to bed. Okay. So it's, oh la la, oh la, oh la, cause today. Okay, Demo, like it's last day. We don't get. Okay. Okay, move you on my way. And then Salain just like runs across the deck and like jumps onto Demo in such a way.

I actually rebound this a few times. So I was like, how did she do that? She like jumped and like her legs wound up like above his shoulders. Oh, she was above his shoulders? I thought she was just like on his waist. No, those legs were up by his neck. Wow. I was like, finally, you do something skill-based.

Yeah. Now, if you could only, you know, maybe do that with a fork and knife in your acute, you could set a table decently. That's all she needed. Yeah. Yeah. So now Danebo is with Rainbow, and he's asking if she needs help. And she's like, I'm done too.

I'm just doing laundry. I mean, so-so might need a hand, but I'm not helping her. And if I was the chief stew, I would never hire her. And he's like, well, she's not a yachtie. She's a socialite. A socialite. That's a pretty loose use of that term. Where did he come up with that?

He's not a socialite. What does she ever donated other than her space? Yeah, I'm not sure. She's social lights off. So then, and he's a social lights off. So then, and he's like, and you don't ever have to work with you, Ava again. So she's like, I'm not, and I'm fucking thankful. Okay.

So now Damos goes down. And now Salain is, Salain is like doing handstands. She's like, oh, this is nice. This is nice. This is nice. Also, I love when she, like, jumped into Damo's arms. After her, she's like, I love to jump. So now she's like jumping and doing handstands.

Maybe she was like a gymnast at some point. which did she ever say she was like training to be a gymnast as a child she's surprisingly like athletic um no but i like that the producers were like okay selin it's the season finale nothing has happened just please try to give rainbow a nervous breakdown she's like okay i will do i'm not jailed so she's just going to do whatever she can and this has to kill rainbow because she's also jumping all over the guy that rainbow's been flirting with you know which rainbow yeah there's that too and then he does the ultimate when he says, good night, Cinderella.

Because he's not saying, like, good night, Cinderella from the ball. He's saying, good night, Cinderella on the ground, picking up little rice bits. So she can eventually take a bath and go to a ball. You know, it's like she just gets kicked in the nuts over and over again tonight. Yeah, she really does. So then it's like 3.30 in the morning. And Slayna is, like, drinking this wine. And Rainbow comes into the salon, and she's like, you're not supposed to be drinking.

I know. The only reason I'm awake is because you're taking so long to finish. I'm still working. I'm not just chilling. I'm doing work too. Bro, I want to go to bed, okay? No, I know, no. I know it's not funny. I know it's not funny. Are you fucking kidding me? No, you know what? Fuck you, bro. Fuck you. Oh, ha, ha. Fuck you, bro.

Dutch, fuck you. Okay, Dutch, fuck you. I've only ever tried to help you and you're standing there and you're laughing. I generally think you are the worst person I've ever had to work with. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You don't even give a fuck. Don't even give a fuck. You don't give a fuck. I am genuinely so thankful. I never have to work with you again.

At this point, I am just like so over it, okay? I don't know. You don't have to be pink. You don't have to be pink like that. I don't know why you are so pink. Are you pink? Well, her name is literally rainbow, but like her face is, her face is red. She's screaming so hard. And by way, they're also screaming, there are guests downstairs. I was like, you guys both need to shut it right now. Like, you're acting like it's an off day, but they're a guest down there. And, of course, I thought this was going to be a thing.

The guests heard fighting, and it gets back to Captain Kerry, and they both are going going to get reprimanded. No, no, it wasn't. Yeah. So it's the final day, 7 a.m. I have a three-page long letter from Rainbow. Because, of course, Rainbow's like, oh, I'm going to go and I'm going to tell on her. I'm going to tell one so, so. Oh, good one, Rainbow. First of all, you've told on her for the past three weeks over, like, stupid shit. Like, I saw her standing there, like, hugging someone smoking a cigarette, which literally no one is going to care about. And now no one cares about it. You know, like, you've got to save him up. And also, she's texting Fraser while he's asleep, and he gave her the job of dealing with this girl. So I don't know who you think you're making look bad, but it's kind of you because you're supposed to be managing her. Although, Solane sucks.

Let me just preface this by saying, I get where Salinas coming from, but her whole, like, I'm going to go tattel-teller Fraser and we'll see how she likes it. And he's like, I don't care. I don't care. Do you understand? Listen, the Fraser without a Bob would have cared. But this new Fraser doesn't. And she's wildly entertaining. Yeah, I mean, like Rambo, like, her tattling is just delivered.

in such a sort of like angry kid sister way that no one takes it seriously. And she just needs to work on her gravitas. She needs to, she needs to, instead of doing things like, Fraser, so you didn't give Salane her break. We're not doing breaks yet, right? Because she's out there having a bowl cereal. It's like, that's like not gonna be as effective

as sitting down saying, I'm doing a lot of the work. I need you to help here as my supervisor because I'm reaching my wit's end because she's not doing what she needs to do and it's affecting my performance or something like that. But like the tattling means that when you get to a situation like this, you're just not taken seriously. And it's actually kind of bullshit because I just think that like Fraser has Salane's back more than than rainbows. And he should have rainbows back more. But she doesn't make it easy for herself by being so so tattily.

Well, we all know, you know, when there's two little kids and one runs to their mom constantly. And it's like, oh, my God, Ronnie trying to pull out my eyelashes. Eventually, the mom's just going to be like, you know what? No one likes a tattletail. You know, you know what, Carly? No one likes a tattletail. Go to your room. And then she gets in trouble.

And meanwhile, I've got like eyelashes that I'm gluing onto my doll. And I'm just happy as bye. Yeah. Yeah. And that's just how it is. She's the tattletail. No one likes a tattletail. And also she tattletails badly because she's like, oh, my God, she's drinking with the

gas and she's fucking around. and then she's drinking white wine while she cleans, okay, but you put while she cleans into the complaint, which means she's actually working and drinking white wine. And no one's going to get mad at her for doing that on the last night. They're just not. And honestly, no one would. Yeah, but also if you're going to, um, if you're going to like spend the energy to tattel, you're basically tattling into a void. You might as well at this point, like tattel to carry, right? like it's your last night if saline's going to go for it

why don't you go for it why don't you do why don't you be the saline of tattling and just yeah I kept heading and just tell captain Kerry and let him do a symbolic firing because honestly I can't imagine that a captain would be happy about that I feel like a captain would say I don't care like I don't care if it's day one or day Z

you're out of here there's a super yacht you got to have standards and let this be a lesson so you can grow flourish and what an honor it's been here for me to see you flourish as I fire you Like, I would have loved that. Well, and also stop picking up her slack and just say, hey, Fraser, it's two in the morning. I've done 75% of this list.

I'm exhausted. Salane's drunken is refusing to finish, so you deal with that how you want to deal with it. Bye. And that's it. Like, if Fraser wants to be like this the whole season and let you take up the slack, then just say, listen, Fraser, I've done more than I can do. And, like, legally, it's probably not legal because it's international, but like, my union says, I need this amount of sleep and she's not doing her job. So I'm going to go ahead and leave that up to you.

And then boom, leave it up to him. And then that frustration falls on him. But like picking up all season and then complaining about it, like doing all of her work for her and then complaining about it is just not the way to go. And I see why she's doing it because she wants to prove that she's like the hardest worker. But that comes with a price tag. You just need to say she's not doing her job and the job doesn't get done when everybody's woken up.

And she gets yelled at. You won't get yelled at. She will. And Fraser is ultimately the manager of all of you. So if she's not getting it done, Fraser is ultimately responsible. So I think she just needs kind of a different tactic. Because Rainbow is, you know, as a person probably super annoying, but she's a good worker. And she's painting herself into a corner with all this enabling bullshit.

I think we need to open up a tattle clinic for future stews. Like, listen, when you get onto that boat, this is how you tattel. Yeah, this is Ben and Ronnie's Tattle Clinic. Yeah, you manipulate. You know, there's ways that you have to massage the situation. Crying and stomping your feet just is not it. That's not how to lead. I mean, unless you're leading.

Look how Damo does it. The free world. Unless you're leading America, that's not really the way to lead. I would say follow Damo's lead because he tattles very effectively. He, although he's also a guy. And like, people tend to be more open to, I think, men tattling than women tattling. I think when woman tattles, people like, oh, whatever, she's just a tattel. But then, like, if a guy does it, it's like, oh, that's pretty cool.

That the bro brought me some interesting observations, you know what I'm man? But either way, I think, like, Damo was very effective with us tattling this season. And Rainbow just has to, like, just has to learn how to how to make sure her message really drives home. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for Part 2.

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